#clairy

[yellowmagicalgirl]

If you’re still taking them, for the prompt/ title thing “Into the dark woods, to find you” and maybe Mary/Claire?

So my first thought was to just do a spin-off of Bloody Hands, Guilty Conscience but Mary gets brainwashed (and not in the fun way) by Area 49-B, and jlaire never happened, for a friends to enemies to lovers fic.

But for my own fic instead of just spinning off of your fic...

Everyone else says that Claire is probably dead. She sacrificed herself. She never made it out of the woods that surround Arcadia, her body burning up in a blaze of purple fire and not even leaving ashes in Claire's wake.

But when Mary takes a walk through those strange woods, she sees a familiar shadow out of the corner of her eye. On the night of the new moon, Mary goes into the woods alone for answers, with nothing but an enchanted candle to guide her.

Send me a title and a pairing and I will give you the summary of a fic I will never write.

[postcard-from-the-past]

Church of Clairy-Saulchoix, Picardy region of northern France

French vintage postcard

[celestinatorres]

Buscando a mi querida rosa🌹

[clarktooncrossing]

Giraffe's Eye View: Christmas Specials Special (2023) | Care Bears Nutcracker

Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. All the dogs in the neighborhood somehow learned to bark Jingle Bells in sync. Yet retail workers are still more annoyed with Mariah Carey. Snow is getting shoveled, tossed, and formed into sentient beings leading parades without permits. It makes for an excellent distraction as the Krampus abducts children for bad behavior. Fruitcake is exchanged only to find its permanent home in the garbage. Terrorists have hijacked the Holiday office party right before your boss can give you a Jelly of the Month Club membership as your bonus. And of course, the Turducken has returned to wreak its fiery vengeance upon an unsuspecting world! If all this doesn’t put you in the Christmas spirit, perhaps these following Holiday specials will!

Greetings people of today and robots of tomorrow! It is I, Santa Clark, your geeky giraffe friend with a deep love of Christmas! My obsession for the yuletide is rivaled only by Maleficent’s hatred for it, which is saying a lot considering she once teamed up with Mad Madam Mim to kidnap the literal Spirit of Christmas. Yes, that really happened. I know this due to my annual pilgrimage to the Island of Misfit Specials, home to obscure or nerdy festive media ranging from movies, TV episodes, and comics. It’s no easy journey. Constantly I find myself confronted by sinister snowmen, genocidal gingerbread men, and worst of all, crappy commercials. Getting stabbed in the foot by a candy-cane wielding cookie is one thing, but I swear I’ve seen that ad for Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium more times than I’ve seen Miracle on 34th Street! Sometimes at night I catch myself reciting that jingle. Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium: Where Christmas meets Convenience! Huh, maybe Maleficent had a point.

Nah, my deep-rooted appreciation for this time of year can weather even the most moronic marketing! It helps that most of the merry media I’ve seen have put me in the perfect Holiday mood! Examples include the time a Ninja Turtle found himself trapped in a truck full of stollen toys, a drunk department store Santa stumbling onto a wish-granting magic bag, Big Bird nearly becoming a popsicle, Gwenpool waking up in a world where Galactus took the place of jolly ol’ Saint Nicholas, a terrifying tree stump trying to slaughter some saps over a stupid ship war, and the year when Death gave the Little Match Girl the greatest gift of all. Needless to say, I thought I had seen it all. That is, until I took my friends on a trip to the Island, tasking them to find me new, strange, seasonal specials to review! Some of them were fair, finding me festive favorites as comforting as coco in front of the fireplace. Others were fiendish, wanting to feed off my misery like Gremlins after midnight. Regardless of how naughty or nice my companions were, I’ve compiled all of their suggestions into a makeshift advent calendar! So stay tuned everyday until Christmas to see how badly my buddies can shred what little sanity I have left.

On the second day of Christmas, my buddies gave to me...

For the record, it says something when nobody's even made a GIF for what I'm about to review.

Malicious as Molly was, she may have set the bar too high with Barbie. For along comes the fairy Claire (YourClairyGodmother), set on proving that the ‘all Canadians are friendly’ claim is a myth. Having recently reviewed a slew of their work herself, she saw fit to share her suffering with me by burdening me with a Care Bears Christmas caper of my choice. Oh how nice, my executioner allowed me to pick how I get to die! Mirroring Grumpy Bear’s dour attitude, I scoured the Care Bears Wiki to make my selection, all the while wondering how this franchise is still alive after all this time. Starting out in 1981 as greeting card characters, these bears became a beloved series of plush toys parents killed each other over at Black Friday’s. Not gonna lie, having Sinbad and Arnie fight over Funshine Bear would’ve made Jingle all the Way that much funnier. It’d certainly be more entertaining then what I ended up picking, that being Care Bears Nutcracker Suite. Dear Santa, I don’t remember asking for endless torment. At this rate getting my nuts cracked probably wouldn’t be as excruciating. Still, perhaps I’m being pessimistic. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and jump right in! After all, these bears beat out Black Cauldron at the box office. Surely they have something special to offer here.

Like terrible child voice actors. We’ve got those in spades here! Okay, I know it’s not nice to call out kids who are only here because of parental peer pressure, but A Charlie Brown Christmas set the bar so high two decades prior! Though to be fair, maybe this is like Hayden Christensen regaling Padme about sand. You can only do so much when the script serves you verbal fruitcake on a platter. Such as when one of the kids, tricked into portraying the Rat King in an elementary production of the ballet by his sister, rightfully laments how lame the show is. Seeing one of her students complaining, our blonde ballet instructor halts class in order to tell a self-insert fanfiction where she herself is Clara. Whoa, deja vuh.

For all of you fearful that this is going to get repetitive, put your worries at ease. The writers made no effort to make the narrative comprehensive here. Instead of a mysterious family member, our Young Clara stand-in Anna (Tara Strong) is visited by Funshine Bear (Susan Roman) and Grumpy (Bob Dermer). Right as they tumble down the chimney ready to help this privileged dork with whatever first world problem she has, a dimensional rift abruptly appears in her room, dropping out the titular Nutcracker (Michael Beattie) and an army of rats. Sadly this time they’re not led by Tim Curry and they’re even less intimidating than before. Whereas previously they at least had swords, now they rush forward into battle with nothing but the clothes on their back. As if that wasn’t idiotic enough, they’re easily frightened off by the two bears and Anna’s younger brother Peter (Stuart Stone) in a trench coat. Wow, I was wondering how they’d top the Mouse King getting taken out by a shrunken woman’s flimsy footwear. You fail at failing to disappoint, Care Bears. Good to know I don’t need to take any of the villains seriously. By chance is it too late to bring back that creepy book lady from the movie? She’d be a better foe than the Vizier (Don Francks), a Jafar wannabe decked out in purple that commands the cowardly vermin. He’s after the Nutcracker so he can, you guessed it, take over the world and ruin Christmas. How he’d ruin Christmas is never explained, though I doubt whatever logic they presented would’ve made sense anyway.

Regardless of the reason, our heroes elect to help Nutcracker in his quest to stop the Vizier, enlisting some Care Bears Cousins to help. Though really I assume it’s to expose kids to more toys they can buy, since Funshine and Grumpy managed to make an entire armada run away in fear. Why else bring in Brave Heart Lion (Dan Hennessey) or Lotsa Heart Elephant (Luba Goy) if not for promotional purposes? Remember kiddies, pester your parents into buying these new friends or else you’ll be a sad loser! Together with Baby Tugs (Melleny Brown) and Hugs (Tracey Moore), they leap into the dimensional portal to restore order to Toyland. Along the way they encounter a bunch of cranky citizens blaming the Vizier’s rise to power on a prince named Alan. Whoa, deja vuh times two. Before anybody asks, yes, once again the Nutcracker is clearly the missing monarch. The rest of our heroes only find out after battling more rodents on a runaway train, meeting a magical fairy that’s as useless as the owl, and getting turned into wood by the Vizier. Our story ends with the titular toy’s humanity easily being restored, the villains being beheaded for war crimes, and the ballet class from earlier never really putting on their pageant as their teacher Anna walks off with her boi toi. Whoa, deja vuh times three. All while the Care Bears watch on from the raptors, waiting to pick the kids off one by one for sport.

Do I even have to say it? Honestly, what point is there in me picking out the flaws? It’d be like stating how pretty Christmas lights are, there’s no purpose in proclaiming something so patent. For the sake of keeping you all from searching up this sugary-coated crap though, I’ll list off my reasons. The pacing was painfully slow, making this extended episode feel like the director’s cut of a Peter Jackson movie. Replacing the charismatic, complex characters of those works are cardboard cutouts who are criminally one-dimensional. Even Grumpy, who I maintain is the best character in this series, feels so one-note. Worst of all is the animation. Much as I dogged out Barbie Nutcracker, I can applaud the ambition on display. Somebody clearly put some effort into the final product. At no time did I feel the same could be said for this. This was some paycheck for an animator who clearly wanted nothing to do with these blasted bears. And if all the behind the scenes stories Claire told me are any indication, I might not be too far off. Needless to say, I did not care for this special. I also didn’t care for you suggesting it to me, Claire! So when Seerius dumps something rotten into your stocking, just know that’s from me! For now though, I need a better Holiday special featuring a character voiced by Tara Strong. 

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[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

🫵listen to my music, tumblr user

[ricketybonesandricketyhands]

ms clairy browne i love you

[skiddo-xy]

thanks to @vibinwiththefrogs for the tag! 🫶

RULES: put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people.

"Slut!" (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) - Taylor Swift

Ocean of Tears - Caroline Polachek

Black Hole - Boygenius

Rabiosa (feat. El Cata) - Shakira, El Cata

Thick Skull (Re: Julien Baker) - Paramore, Julien Baker

tags: well...I only have a few active mutuals so I'm not going to put y'all on the spot but you know who you are....as do I...so feel free to do it if you want 🤭

[musicchannel666mhz]

Clairy Browne & The Bangin' Rackettes - Love Letter

[nullpointerintime]

March Song Challenge 2023 Day 5: A song to dance to

I'll Be Fine - Clairy Brown & The Bangin' Rackettes

[ragsandrascals]

Okay 😈😋

@ragsandrascals now it’s time for ME to get your attention for no reason

[mariacallous]

@apprenticemockingbird tagged me to share my "on repeat" shuffled. tagging @frankenshane @thefoxconfessor @venusinmyrrh @mildmoderngirl @extasiswings @notafain and anyone/everyone else who wants to do it

[celestinatorres]

When you envy your friend because he has a beautiful girlfriend

[artofgerald]

Guess who managed to find official banban merch in Poland (Clairie's in Galeria Krakowska)

[welcome-to-ratterrock]

i wonder what music artists they would listen to!

i know DAMN well that Sorcha would listen to Lana del ray, Saorise would listen to chapell roan and i think that Rilla would listen to Laufey

GOODNESS, this took a while. Both Baji and I are ardent music lovers and aficionados, so music is veryimportant to us and to this story and these characters. So I wanted to make sure I got everything in order before answering these asks! 

Sorcha loves jazz and music that’s heavily influenced by soul and movement, so she loves hip-hop, pop soul, R&B, club music - stuff that’s sexy and feminine and full of confidence, like Janelle Monae, Rihanna, Beyoncé, HER, Doja Cat, Billie Eilish. 

She’s absolutely a Lana Del Rey fan, also loves Amy Winehouse, Paloma Faith, Clairy Browne, April Smith and the Great Picture Show, Laura Mvula. For more old school stuff she goes for Irma Thomas, Nina Simone, Peggy Lee, Julie London. 

Rilla loves fun energetic pop that she can dance to but also makes her feel free to - Kesha (the Rainbow album was DEEPLY important to her), Doja Cat, Dimie Cat, Sabrina Carpenter, Chapelle Roan, Olivia Rodrigo, Brittany Spears. She loves Laufey for a softer, romantic vibe, and even though she doesn’t listen to a ton of alternative she LOVES Molotov Jukebox. 

Also, girl ADORES Dolly Parton. She’s dressed up as her for Halloween, loves her endlessly. She got into Kacey Musgraves too, but Dolly has her heart. She likes some of Taylor Swift’s stuff, but she’s definitely not a die hard Swiftie. 

Lorcan unironically adores Kesha, very happy to jam with Rilla whenever their girlie’s music is on. In general he loves music that would be perfect for a barroom brawl - Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, IDLES. Loves rock in general, especially Def Leppard and AC/DC, the Clash and the Black Keys. Likes Gaelic Storm and the Beatles for softer moods. 

Brig listens to a lot of metal and punk and rock music - she and Lorcan would definitely jam to AC/DC and the Black Keys. Also loves blues music, definitely a fan of Johnny Cash. Also likes Gin Wigmore a lot. 

Luella loves soft indie core songs and groups - the Wailin’ Jennys, the Oh Hellos, the Crane Wives, the Jane Austen Argument, the Hush Sound, Brandi Carlisle, Cat Power, Paris Paloma. She and Rilla both love Laufey. She listens to Florence + the Machine and P!nk when she wants to feel empowered. 

Locke is also into soft indie, lots of underground bands no one has ever heard of but have very intense poetic lyrics - Hozier, the National, Cigarettes After Sex, Florence + the Machine, Nicole Dollanganger, the Oh Hellos. There’s a lot of overlap between him and Lu, actually! He also loves viola music, he plays it and it’s a very healing, therapeutic passion of his. 

Regal…whoo boy, his taste in music covers such a wide and diverse spectrum. He loves operas and classic musicals, very much a devotee to classical music by artists like Debussy and Puccini and Bizet. One of his absolute favorite songs is “Danse Macabre”…

He’s a virtuoso with the piano and has described himself as his own favorite musician. 

But he does like some more modern music, he’s just VERY snobby about what he wants to listen to. Marina and the Diamonds (“Bubblegum Bitch” is a favorite), Queen (he is very fond of Freddy), Voltaire, Fish in a Birdcage, the Real Tuesday Weld are some examples.  

Bogdan is even more a snob than Regal, and stays away from most modern music. He’d much rather focus on composing his own music than polluting his ears with the dreck that passes for songs nowadays. Sorcha has her work cut out with him, but she’s more than up to the task…

Casimir, sadly, probably doesn’t listen to a lot of music because of his injury - it’s too much stimulation and he suffers from horrible headaches to begin with. Not all music does it, but too much stress and sounds would very likely trigger an episode. It’s incredibly tragic because music is such an important and treasured facet of his and Bogdan’s culture…

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

FIGURED IT OUT