#Do yourself a favour and give it a read if you want some really thoughtful and excellent sapphic content!!!
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isablooo · 1 year ago
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Vampire AU Morgan (+ a lil Domi cameo) from my favourite webtoon Dom & Mor by my awesome friend @dyemelikeasunset! Morgan's not normally a vampire but Naf's recent vamp AU has been feeding me so good!!! You absolutely have to check this comic out if you haven't already 🖤❤️
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malusokay · 1 year ago
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becoming a better student ₊˚⊹♡
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Prepare for your classes ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?
Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.
Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)
Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.
Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...
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In Class ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.
Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3
"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!
Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :)
No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...
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After class ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3
Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)
Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...
Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)
Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done
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Structure and routine ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.
Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3
Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.
No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.
Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3
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Self-care and balance ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!
Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.
Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3
Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!
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Romanticising ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)
Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!
Music to set the mood. I have a bunch of playlists on my Spotify that might help!! <3
Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...
Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)
Babes, The hiatus is OVER, and I'm finally back!! I got a lot of asks on studying, burnout, and school in general, so I thought, why not start off with a little student guide?? I Hope October has been kind to you, and school hasn't been too overwhelming (though I know it, unfortunately, has been for many of you), and I'm glad to finally be back!! <33
As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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tellafairy · 3 months ago
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thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)
coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many of you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.
your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..
the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.
it took me barely any time to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.
really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.
1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.
ex: "i really want her waist"
to
"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"
exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.
2. it's yours, so act like it..
ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..
you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...
3. that's literally it
you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.
it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.
as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.
so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....
once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.
yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads
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yuki-world · 1 year ago
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那维莱特 | NEUVILLETTE ; LEARN
summary | neuvillette finally shows you what an orgasm feels like with his tongue, too bad you want it with something else of his.
tags | nsfw (smut), fem!reader, slight corruption, loss of virginity, cunnilingus, vaginal penetration, semi-public sex, creampie, 3.3k words
a/n : pt 1 here --> teach, but can be read on its own! a gift for those who requested a part 2 hehe
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“i thought you said we weren’t going to bring this up again, neuvillette?”
well… he wasn’t. but he reasons with himself that it's quite unfair if he doesn’t reward you for the deed you’ve done. after all, the chief of justice should be ensuring fairness. it’s only equal if you get something in return. besides, you asked him to help you experience what an orgasm felt like, and he did agree.
but he really shouldn’t. that blowjob was a one-time thing, he made it clear. he didn’t want to corrupt you too much. can’t have you being too addicted to him and his cock, can you? but… then again. if he’s already indulged in your curiosity the first time, surely a second time wouldn’t hurt? only to help you learn, of course. its not everyday that he gets a chance to experience any sexual activities considering how busy he was. its not like he found anyone to do this with; until you came along. but he hasn’t even courted you, its so backwards. what happened to tradition?
“i believe it’s only fair that i respond to your interests in… learning about orgasms,” neuvillette responds, pulling off his gloves. “furthermore, you waited the whole night for me. it's wrong of me if i let you leave empty-handed, no?”
it's true; you stayed up all night just to visit him in his office once he finished his work. he’s been so busy nowadays, it's only at night when he truly has any free time at all. you feel a bit bad for intruding into his free time, but you barely had the chance to talk to him this whole week. little do you know, he doesn’t mind a single bit. not when its you. truthfully, he misses your consistent pestering too. he’s been drowning in so much work, he just couldn’t find the time.
you giggle at the seriousness of his tone. you didn’t necessarily visit him to ask for any sexual favours. he was the one who brought it up when you stepped into his office at 1am. well, maybe, just maybe, he was looking forward to it.
“so you’re gonna give me a mind-blowing orgasmー is what you’re saying,” you teased, and he chuckled.
“more than mind-blowing, y/n,” he corrects, making his way over to the sofa. “so much so that you’ll never forget your first. you have my word.”
seeing him so bound on making you feel good was attractive, to say the least. its the way that he kneels down, fingers free of his glove gently stroking your thighs, that has you drooling. it's insane how much his touches affect you, you’re sure he noticesー notices the way your legs part for him immediately. he didn’t even have to ask. he plants a kiss along your inner thighs, pushing them nearer to your chest. he doesn’t bite or suck; he’s just so gentle.
you squeak as he hikes your skirt up, face flushing red the moment his eyes focus on your covered cunt. “is… is this really okay, neuvillette?” you ask meekly. it's embarrassing how wet you got from him just kissing your thighs.
“foolish question,” he replies. while he understands it's your first time showing yourself to anyone, there’s no need to be embarrassedー not in front of him. he slides your underwear off, your glistening pussy on display. all for him to see, and taste. his thumb slides up your folds, collecting some of your stickiness. he has to have you.
you let out a gasp as his tongue settles onto your pussy for the first time, the warm muscle making you clamp your thighs around his head instantly. fuck, what was this feeling? he barely even made any movements, but you already feel like you’re on cloud 9. he flicks his tongue against your cunt, lapping up all the juices.
he sucks on your clit occasionally, making your whole body twist in pleasure. your thighs were clamped so tight around him, you thought you were suffocating himー not that he minded. “fuuuck, neuvillette,” you whined as he sucked particularly hard. his tongue experimentally dips into your hole, and you throw your head back. you felt tight even on his tongue; the confirmation that no one else has fucked your little hole just made his cock twitch.
neuvillette tongue-fucks you through the entire session, spreading your lips apart to get a better taste of you. he couldn’t stop himself; you tasted amazing. no other taste could satisfy him after this, he’ll need to eat you out everyday to feel fulfilled. “you taste absolutely divine,” he breaks away for a few seconds, before diving back in to taste your cunt once again.
he was addicted. you couldn’t help but feel something approaching, almost like you needed to pee. “waitー ahhー i feel weird,” you tell him, but he continues eating you out. he knew how close you were, and he wants to edge you so bad. just to tease you a littleー take the orgasm right out of your hands. but he won’t, not this timeー not your first time. he’ll let you enjoy every single moment of it. you deserve it after all.
“neuviー please, waitー fuck!” your legs shook as you reached your high, clenching onto his tongue and juices gushed out of you like a waterfall. your breaths quicken as he continues his movements, cleaning up every last bit of your cum. you taste so sweet, he would never get tired of it. in fact, he’s already planning to invite you to his office tomorrow; just so he can savor you once more. and maybe the day after. and after.
he finally pulls away, lips and chin glossy from your wetness. you take in the sight in front of you, and you blush. “so that’s what an orgasm feels like…” you trail off, and he wipes your juices off his face with the back of his hand.
“it felt good, yes?” he questions, standing up.
the erection in his pants was so obvious. you saw the outline of his cockー it looked like it was going to burst out of his pants from how hard he was. you blinked a couple of times as he handed you back your underwear. you were a little dizzy from how powerful that orgasm was, you don’t even notice him giving it to you. all you could focus on was how turned on you were from him getting hard from eating you out. your hole clenches around nothing, as you chewed on your lip. perhaps… you needed something inside of you.
“are you alright, y/n? you seem a bitー”
“can we…”
what?
oh, oh no. he knows what you’re going to say; he knows exactly what you’re going to ask for. thoughts are racing through his mind because he’s been thinking about this ever since the day you gave him a blowjob. he can’t allow himself to take your virginity, not here, not now. you’re barely ready to take anything inside of you, much less his cock. do you even know how big he is? oh, of course you didー so why are you asking this of him? he might tear you apart with that fat cock of his, and he definitely does not want to hurt you. and defiling you in his office? no, he’ll do it on his bed where you’re comfortable.
“…can we have sex?”
his eyes widened, thoughts doing a 180-degree flip when he hears those words come out of your mouth. it feels more surreal when you actually say it, when you actually ask him. he might’ve expected it, but that tone you asked it in was definitely… something. you asked so sweetly, it would be a crime to say no to you. someone as powerful as him, being so weak for you was something he’d never imagine would happen.
maybe he should really start thinking with his head instead of his dick; he’s so hard. he’d be a fool to not take your offer. to feel your cunt squeeze around him the moment his tip prods at your entrance, you’d probably whine and cry out from how big he was, nails clawing his back exactly the way he likes it. fuck, how tight you’d feel as he slowly inserts more of himself into you. would you even be able to take his entire length? it doesn’t matterー he’ll stretch you till you’re able to, till you can handle all of him.
but he knows better than to give into his desires so easily… right?
“i…” neuvillette is at a loss for words. he’s already too far in, its best that he stops at eating you out. but his dick is twitching in his pants, and your hands are reaching towards his beltー
“y/n,” he calls out, and you stop. “maybe… maybe not this time.” heavy emphasis on the word ‘maybe’, because any little thing you do might just change his mindー he’s that weak.
“why?” you pout, disappointment written on your face. your hand retracts, and he looks away. “you don’t want to fuck me?”
god, you… you and your vulgar words. so bluntly said as if you weren’t just embarrassed a while ago. you really think that he doesn’t want to fuck your brains out? “it's not that, love. it's just…”
“i can take it, if that’s what you’re worried about,” you smile, and he swore his heart started beating a little faster. it's silent, and you try again, hands reaching for his pants.
he doesn’t stop you this time.
your hands are already halfway through with unbuckling his belt, and you plead once more for any confirmation from him. “please, neuvillette? take my first?”
“fuck, alrightー okay,” he says breathlessly, his hands moving yours away as he unbuckles his own belt. he couldn’t take it, not when you were begging so nicely. it just shows again how hard it was to say no to you. he might give you everything you’ve ever wanted if you just asked.
“but you have to promise me,” neuvillette starts, unbuttoning and pulling off his clothes. “if i make you feel any discomfort, please voice itー”
his sentence gets cut short as you pull him down for a kiss. sometimes he just talks too much, you think. it was sloppy, tongues intertwining as he pushed you onto the sofa, crawling on top of you.
he breaks away from the kiss, hands hastily taking off your top. he pulls down your bra as he gets a glimpse of your bare tits. kisses work their way down your neck and onto your nipples, sucking and fondling each tit. you let out a moan when his hands slide down to your hips, pulling your skirt off.
“you are the most beautiful woman i’ve ever laid my eyes on,” he compliments, giving you a kiss on the forehead. your cheeks heat up. “really?”
“you think i, the chief of justice, would lie to you?” he asks, and you roll your eyes. he frees his cock from the constraint of his pants, and he presents himself, hard and erect all for you. he lets your hand roam around his body, finally landing on his cock. you give it a few experimental strokes, making him sigh. small drops of pre-cum leak out from the tip.
no matter how intimidated you were by his size, you were determined to take it. no way were you leaving tonight without your virginity taken.
he spreads your legs apart, sticking two fingers into your mouth. “suck,” he instructs, and you do. your tongue licks around his fingers, coating them fully with your saliva before he takes them out. one finger is inserted into you with no resistance, and he tries with a second one.
you moan at the pleasure as he pumps his digits into you, your wetness making it so easy to slide in and out. were you that turned on? it felt weird at first, but you got used to it quickly. it didn’t hurt or anything, but you definitely felt him stretching you out. he feels how tight you are, clenching around his fingers like you didn’t want him to take it out. but you did want something moreー this didn’t fill you up enough. “how do you feel, y/n?”
you hummed in response. “mm, it's not enough. i want something bigger,” you respond, and he takes his fingers out. he pops them into his mouth, tasting your sweetness once more. “i’ll give it to you. i’ll give you everythingー anything.”
he swallows as he lines his cock up with your entrance, seeing how big he was compared to your pussy. fuck, he might really tear you open. he spreads your pussy open with two fingers, his cock rubbing against your folds. “are you ready? take a deep breath for me.”
you heed his advice, nodding as you inhaled. he rubs his cock-head against your entrance a few more times, before he finally pushes the tip in.
you moan immediately, feeling the stretch of his cock. oh, he was big alright. it was only the tip, but you felt like he was going to split you in half. “so… mmhー big…”
its taking everything in him to not cum right now.
his head was spinning, it felt like he was in another world. he really just took your virginity, he really just deflowered you. did he even deserve this opportunity, to be your first? decades of not fucking anyone really heightened every feeling. you were so tight, he could barely move. you clenching around his fingers prior was nothing compared to this. his fingers on your waist grip harder, and he has to stop himself from even attempting to push his cock in any further or else he might really spill his load inside you.
“neuvillette? iー i said you can move,” you repeat. he must’ve not heard you. after all, his mind went blank the moment he pushed his tip inside of you.
“just a moment,” he clears his throat, panting as he dips his head into your neck. so this was what he has been missing out on? he might become addicted, and it's just the tip that's in you.
“you feel so good, fuck, i…” he mutters into your neck, slowly pushing more of his inches inside of you. you whine, hands wrapping around his neck. you have no idea how bad he wants to slam his entire length into you right now, but he stops himself. you felt so full, so fucked out, you could barely form a sentence. his cock was already hitting your cervix, but it still wasn’t all the way in.
“how are you feeling? tell me,” he demands, and you struggle to let out any words. “goodー great, i don’t know, please,” you mindlessly babble. you don’t even know what you’re saying ‘please’ to.
neuvillette starts painfully slow, dragging his cock in and out of you to let you get used to the feeling. the stretch was amazingー you didn’t know having a cock inside of you felt this good. it stung a little, but nothing too painful that you couldn’t handle.
he eventually picks up the pace, going faster once he sees that you’re starting to ease up. “want it faster?” he asks, and you nod eagerly. you could take it, and you wanted to feel all of him.
he throws both your legs over his shoulders, pressing them against your chest as he drills his cock into your tight cunt. the feeling of you clenching around him each time he thrusts into you has him feeling drunk. he fucks you so hard, yet so gentle at the same time; it doesn’t seem possible, but somehow it is.
your nails dig into his arms as he continuously pounds his cock into your hole. you’re ruined, and he likes it that way. the face you’re making right now has him groaning out. he doesn’t care that he’s in the officeー doesn’t care if anyone walks by and hears both of you moaning. you feel so fucking good around his cock, none of that mattered.
“y/n, you’re so tight,” he hisses, your pussy clamping onto him like a vice grip. he leans down to kiss you again, fucking into you harder.
you moan into the kiss, hands pulling at his hair when his cock hits a particularly pleasurable spot. he can’t lie, pulling on his hair makes his balls tighten. “so good…” you drool, and he smiles.
you couldn’t think about anything else but the way neuvillette’s cock was slamming into you so roughly. you could barely respond. it's like he was craving for this, like he was depriving himself all this time just for this moment. you felt your orgasm coming much faster than the first time.
“i’m gonna cumー neuvillette, ahh,” you moan, and his hands immediately reach down to rub at your clit. “yeah? enjoying yourself that much?” he teases, and you whine in response, and he pounds into you harder. you’re so close, so close…
“fuck!” you almost screamed out as your orgasm hit you. you see nothing but stars as your pussy clenches on his cock impossibly tighter than before, your eyes rolling back from the amount of pleasure that just washed over you.
“ohー fuck, y/n, this is…” his hip stutters at the sensation, warmth and wetness drenching his cock. you pant as he continues fucking into you, still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. he was chasing his own high too.
he needs to cum inside you, he won’t settle for anywhere else. he wants to see you squirm as his warm cum fills your insides. he wants to see that white ring of cum form around the base of his cock, watch it all leak out after as he struggles to stuff it back into you.
“let me cum inside of you, please, y/n,” he begs, and who were you to say no? the iudex of fontaine begging you? you’ll gladly allow him. you were planning on letting him even if he didn’t ask. “do it, i’m all yours, neuvillette.”
hearing those words were his final straw. “take it, fuckー take it all, oh,” he halts with one last thrust, dumping his load into you. white, milky cum fill your insides, warmth spreading throughout your lower half as you moan at the feeling. it almost felt comforting.
he continues depositing his cum inside your cunt, panting. he didn’t think he would cum this much, was he really that deprived of pleasure? he sees his cum leak from your cunt even though you’re stuffed full of him.
“my love,”  he calls, caressing your cheek, and a peck to your forehead. you shy away. “you.. you really need to stop calling me that.”
he raises his eyebrows. did you not like that? but he’s been calling you that all this time…
“before i ask whyー are you alright? i didn’t hurt you, did i?” he asks, concerned. you giggle, he’s always so caring. as expected of neuvillette.
“yes, i’m fineー great even,” you smile, and his expression softens at the assurance. “good.”
“just that… should you really be calling me that? i mean, i don’t hate it, if anything its the opposite, but,” you clear your throat. “we’re not even… together. unless its just, a one time thingー or something like that.”
“i understand,” he says, and you make eye contact with him. he looks gorgeous, covered in sweat but absolutely glowing. ah, focus. “my apologies for confusing you, but i do have intentions of courting you.”
oh?
“you do?” you ask, and he can’t help but laugh. “are you saying you haven’t seen the way i look at you, y/n? and whatever we’re doing now is… i wouldn’t do this with someone i didn’t have feelings for.”
you hum. “i mean, you haven’t exactly made a move, unless you consider this one?”
“well, this is slightly backwards, but tell you what,” he starts, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “come home with me, and i’ll plan something for the both of us in the morning,” he whispers into your ear like it's a secret. “how does that sound?”
“i… think that sounds lovely.”
ー @yuki-world
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taglist: @lavenderslemonade
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bananielle · 2 months ago
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love and suds ♡ 🫧
₊˚.⋆⁺₊ leehan x reader ୨ৎ genres: hurt x comfort. fluff.
5.7k words. cw: lowercase intended. not super proofread. reader wears a bra. negative self talk. crying. dark thoughts. kissing. bathing. if there’s anything else, please let me know! <3 @onedoornet
authors note: blew the dust off this cause i think the longer i wait the more i will want to never ever post it and this was really something i wanted to share. i wrote this a couple months ago to comfort myself when i was really struggling. i went back and took out the very dark stuff cause i felt it messed up the plot and other things and anyways! this isn’t my best writing at all but i hope it can bring even a teensy bit of comfort to anyone who might feel the way reader does. i hope it’s good enough. happy reading baby loves ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა p.s if you’re in a dark place i promise brighter days are written in the stars for u & plz remember u don’t need to be spectacular or do amazing things to be worthy of love & ur wonderful just as u are & u will be okay ♡
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you wrestle with the lock of your apartment door, jamming and twisting the key around impatiently, huffing at the lack of compromise it’s giving you. all you’ve wanted to do since you left your safe haven was come right back, curl up in bed and sob into your pillow; life being too much for you to carry on your shoulders lately.
everything was difficult and stressful, and your body was barely standing upright. today was your final straw. any more stress, and you’d crumble into pieces. 
on your way home, you had looked up at the soft wash of pink and orange that was the sky, asking the universe for some kind of break. anything to ease the constant pain you felt. 
you hoped and prayed it would take kindly to your wishes, but as you’re standing here now, fighting to get into your warm home, it seems the universe ignored you. so much for asking you for any favours, you think to yourself bitterly. the thinned string of patience inside you threatens to snap as you ram the key into the lock hole for the sixth time, its stubborn self still refusing to give in. 
you take out the key, then put it back in, turn it as far left as it’ll go, and grab the door handle. you push down on it, and with all the strength you can muster, you bump your shoulder against the door, and suddenly, you’re home at last. 
you quickly shut and lock the door behind you, then kick off your shoes and switch on the main light. it’s quiet inside, despite it being the evening, only the low hum of the air conditioner floating through the place. you had thought your boyfriend would be home at this hour, as he usually is, but perhaps he had to stay longer at his schedules tonight. 
the thought weighs down on your shoulders, tears itching to escape and stream down your cheeks. a dark, heavy feeling settles in your chest. all you’ve wanted after such a long day was to see him. to collapse into his arms and feel his sturdy body against yours. and even if you did end up sobbing into your pillow the entire night, at least leehan would be there for you, laying beside you, rubbing your back and soothing you with his sweet voice, telling you that everything would be alright. 
yn: 0, universe: 2 trillion, you think. 
you’re too tired to feel hungry, and too tired to cook, so you decide to skip dinner. you switch off the main light, walking softly through the kitchen to your bedroom. it’s cold and damp inside, a fitting representation of your feelings. you don’t even have the energy to feel bothered by it. instead, you let yourself feel the goosebumps raise on your arms and the unpleasant chill caress your bare skin. 
you weakly climb onto the bed, forgetting to turn the lights on and not bothering to snuggle up under the covers. you lay there on your side, in your cold, dark room, with your knees tucked into your chest. 
for a while, your mind thinks nothing. 
until, you begin to think about all that’s wrong. a familiar feeling awakens in your veins. or maybe it’s your bones. whichever is deeper, more hurtful, it awakens there and gnaws at you.
the thoughts wash through like a tide, cruel and relentless.
you let out a sob and squeeze your eyes shut, willing the thoughts away, screaming at the voice inside of you to leave you alone. your breaths come in short and panicked, and you scramble your mind to find something to tether yourself to, something to ground you and make you feel real again. 
a moment passes, and then, you see his face. 
you see his pretty smile and the even prettier dimples adorning it, a little part of you wishing you could live inside of them; safe and stored away from the hideous world. his soft eyes, all sparkling and starry appear and you try to remember how they look at you so lovingly. you see his hands tangled in yours, warm and safe and sturdy. you remember, as hard as you can, how they felt and you hold that feeling close to your heart, hoping it would soothe its rapid beats. 
leehan. leehan. leehan. you repeat like a prayer. your body relaxes. 
your breaths start to slow and you finally gulp in deeper breaths. but the relief doesn’t last for long, when you realise the pictures of your boyfriend in your mind are just that. pictures. he is not here. 
a frustrated burn settles in the back of your eyes, and you feel wet lines travel down your temples. your body shakes with every cry that escapes you, a puddle of wet forming on the covers. you sob for a while, until your head turns heavy and your eyes can barely stay open. 
please come home, leehan. i need you. 
you wish again to the universe, pleading it to do you a kindness and bring comfort to you, just this once. you hug yourself tightly while hoping for your boyfriend to come home, sniffling every now and then as your cries come to quiet. several minutes pass of you in the dark, cold and heartbroken, a heaviness stuck in the air. 
sleep nearly comes to your aid, but it’s not quick enough. you’re still awake to hear the distant, muffled sound of a key turning, and then clink of the front door unlocking. 
your heart soars in your chest. you sleepily wonder if it’s a dream, staying ever so still as you strain your ears for more sound. 
“yn? are you home, angel?” a weak sob escapes your lips at the comforting sound of leehan’s voice. you don’t know whether to smile or continue crying, so you do a strange combination of both. 
“in here”, you reply. but your voice isn’t loud enough. it’s raspy and weak, the words scraping your throat like glass as you spoke them. 
you wait a few heartbeats longer, hopeful and excited, watching the door, wondering if leehan was coming to find you.
soon enough, just as you wished, leehan finds you.
he shuffles into the pitch-dark room, turning on the light to see better. the moment he spots you, he nearly crumbles. a look of concern contort his features as walks towards your limp body and softly asks, “baby? wha- what’s wrong? are you okay? how long have you been like this?” his words spill out rushed, each one carrying more weight than the last.
he lowers himself onto the bed, adjusting himself so he’s sitting next to you, and reaches out an urgent hand out to brush away pieces of hair that stuck to your tear-stained face. “oh, baby”, he coos, stroking your hair gently. “talk to me” 
you look up at him through glassy eyes, and you break out into more sobs when you see how he gazes at you. so much concern and compassion glimmer in his eyes, it tugs at your heartstrings. his sweet words pick apart every tense nerve in your body. 
you hide your face in your hands as you cry, your breaths coming in so short and quick, they cut off every word you try to speak. 
“shh, baby. i’m here.” leehan comforts, as he leans down to place a kiss to your shoulder as one of his hands massages your back, up and down, soothingly. 
after a few more sobs and shh’s from leehan, you find a moment to take deep breaths and wipe your eyes. your limbs fight against you after being stuck in the same position for so long as you adjust yourself to sit up. you avoid his laser gaze, knowing that if you looked into his eyes, you fear the tears would never end. 
once you’ve sat up, you cross your legs and take in a shaky breath. the hand that leehan dragged up and down your back, now rests on your thigh. his other one finds the small of your back and stays there. 
you breath out deeply before speaking. 
“i’m just so tired, leehan.” your voice cracks and scratches but you don’t care enough to clear your throat. 
“i had such an awful day. i’ve been having awful days. and my head hurts so much. and my heart won’t stop beating like crazy. i feel it every second of the day and it scares me so much. everything is too much for me. i’m lost and confused and just. tired. ”, more tears stream down your cheeks, and you need to take in another deep breath before continuing. your hand finds leehans’ on your thigh and holds it tight for comfort. 
a weighted silence drifts upon the air. slowly, you look up from the random spot on the covers you’ve been trained on and meet leehan’s eyes. 
tears glisten at the edges of them, the look of concern vanished, replaced by utter sadness. his eyes trace every feature of your face, as if to find the answer to his question.
“oh, my love” he says, his voice hushed, nearly falling into a whisper. “why didn’t you tell me sooner? to know that you’ve been carrying this weight on your shoulders all by yourself, it breaks my heart. you know that’s why i’m here right? to help you carry the heavy things” 
“i-i know, leehan” you look down at your intertwined hands. “i don’t know why i didn’t, i’m sorry. i think i just, i didn’t want to burden you. i thought i could figure it out myself. make it go away on my own”, you shrug, not even realising how you’d kept your feelings a secret, subconsciously hiding them under a smile.
leehan suddenly cups your face in his hands, his eyes serious but his tone gentle. “you never have to be on your own. not as long as i’m here”, he sniffles as his eyes water more. your heart splinters at the sight. 
“please listen to me, baby. look at me” he makes sure he’s locked his gaze into yours when he says, “i am always here for you. always. i want to hear what you have to say. everything. don’t ever think you can’t come to me. you don’t have to be alone, i promise.” 
leehan kisses your forehead, so softly and sweetly, it prompts your body to shudder. your entire being is overcome by the love it holds for him. 
thank you, universe. 
“thank you” you say quietly, giving him the biggest smile you can muster. both your hands cover his own, your thumbs rubbing the backs of them lightly. “i love you. i promise to come to you. promise i’ll tell you things.” 
a slow smile spreads across his face, and he plants another kiss to your forehead, this time, lingering on the spot. he pulls away and tucks your hair behind your ears.
“let me take care of you, okay? i’ll run you a bath, get you all cleaned up and relaxed. how does that sound, baby?”, he asks eagerly.
your words seemed to have run away at leehan’s compassion, so all you do is nod your head tiredly, giving him a soft smile. 
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leehan enters the bathroom with you in his arms, stopping to turn on the light before setting you down on the fluffy rug in the middle of the floor. it feels plush and warm against your socked feet, a comforting change compared to the cool draft in the bedroom. you press yourself further into it, really making sure you’re standing firmly on the ground, planted and unmoving.
he glides over to the bath, twisting the knob to the right so the dial lands right where it’s nearly too hot, just how you like it. the rush of water fills the room, the strong current of the faucet beating against the plastic tub, and again you feel comforted, no longer trapped in your thoughts when pleasant distractions feed all your senses. your eyes study leehan as he feels the water with his fingers, adjusting the dial a few times before turning back to you.
without saying a word, he scoops you into his embrace once more, bringing you to the sink and sitting you down on the edge of the counter. he kisses your cheek tenderly before opening a mirrored cabinet to sift through and bringing out your entire skincare routine, lining up each bottle in their respective order. a bright, warm glow begins to fill your chest. 
he bends down to open up a cupboard, and remerges with a small towel in his hand, then turns on the sink, checking to see if the water is lukewarm. he wets the towel, rings it, then repeats the action. after a few more soaks and rings, he places himself between your legs, then gently presses the towel to your face. 
“close your eyes for me, pretty” he instructs quietly, his voice low and smooth. 
leehan works in a methodical rhythm until every inch of your skin is made damp. his touches are so gentle and filled with love, you feel light-headed. you wonder in awe at how lucky you got with him. that such loving, gentle boy is all yours. a tiny, secret smile pulls the corners of your mouth.
“does that feel good, baby?” he purrs, taking notice of your not-so-secret smile. 
“mm-hm, more than good” you respond, looking up at him softly. he smiles back at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling in delight. 
leehan moves carefully as he applies your face wash, rubbing circles on your face firmly but gingerly, then taking the same wet towel to rinse it off. he works in silence whilst massaging every one of your serums and moisturisers into your face, as he’s seen you apply them yourself a million times, slowly and thoughtfully in an effort to relax you. the cold sensation of the creams and his sturdy fingers send shivers down your spine. 
“there we go. all done”. leehan strokes his thumbs over your cheeks one last time, then leans in to kiss your lips. it’s short and sweet, his lips soft and warm. 
the sound of the rushing water must have become white noise to you both, because when you turn your attention to the tub, it’s nearly filled to the brim. leehan goes to shut off the faucet, but not before adding in your favourite soap, swirling the steaming water around with his hand, making a clean, bubbly scent waft through the air. it’s familiar to you, a reassuring sense that helps you attach yourself to the present moment.  you’re here and you’re okay, you soothe to yourself. 
he walks back to you, hooking a strong arm around your back and placing the other under your knees, lifting you off the counter and placing you back on the fluffy rug. 
“let’s take these icky clothes off of you. arms up.” he says quietly, his honey voice nearly humming the words. 
you obey, reaching your arms up in the air, letting him put his hands under your shirt and gently lift it up and over your head. he’s seen you in your bra plenty of times before, but somehow, the intimacy of this moment makes you shy away and cover up. 
“hey…” he looks down at you, a slight twinkle in his eye. he gently pulls your arms away from your chest. “it’s just me, baby” 
“i know…” you respond shyly… “i just…” you trail off, looking down at your feet. 
“don’t worry, love. i can leave to let you undress. just let me know when you’re done.” he goes to leave, but you stop him quickly, grabbing his hand.
“no! no, please stay. i’m just a little overwhelmed…with love, i think. that’s all”, you say to the floor quietly. 
all leehan does is gaze at you fondly, the tiniest giggling leaving his mouth. “okay. i’ll be gentle with you, i promise” he reassures as he reaches his hands out to unclasp your bra.
they’re warm and sturdy, like they always are. the way his fingertips brush against your exposed skin so delicately gives you goosebumps. you didn’t know how it was possible to miss him so much, despite seeing him only this morning, and having him in front of you now, but here you are, longing for him so deeply. 
he undoes the clasp, then hooks his fingers through the straps, gently gliding it down your arms. once it’s off, he gathers it nicely and places it in on the sink, along with your shirt.
his hands continue to brush down your arms, the grazing of his finger tips like a ghost against your skin. he never lets go of your gaze as he kisses down your stomach. you gasp lightly at the way his lips travel down your body so lovingly, as if he was made just to worship you. 
he stops just before the button of your pants, then carefully undoes them, easing the piece of clothing down your legs slowly. you lift each foot out of the holes. 
leehan grabs the back of your calf, lifting it slightly to press a soft kiss to your shin, then takes off your sock. he does the same to your other leg, then folds up your jeans and sets them down near your folded shirt and bra. 
his eyes never leave yours as he runs his fingertips along your collarbone, the soft pads finding your shoulders to rest there. “my beautiful baby,” he coos. “let’s get you washed up.” 
leehan rolls up his long sleeve shirt, cuffing it at the elbows, then as tenderly as he can, he scoops you up and walks you over to the tub. his eyes never leave your face as he lowers you into the hot, bubbly water, careful not to hurt you. 
“how’s the temperature? is it warm enough?” 
“it’s perfect, leehan” you say, because it was. everything about this moment was perfect. 
“good”, he smiles softly. “i’ll be right back, okay?” and then he quietly leaves the bathroom. you rest your back against the side of the tub, leaning your head back on the side. the water is so warm, it feels like it reaches your bones. it melts away your worries like butter, until every evil word you had thought to yourself becomes smudged and muddled, a distant memory. 
you play with the bubbles, scooping up a handful, then blowing it into the air, watching as the sparkly, white clouds float every which way. your heart finally begins to slow down, resuming a normal pace. you’re warm and cradled and safe, all thanks to leehan. you could nearly cry again at his loving actions. how incredibly lucky you were to have him. 
your love returns a few minutes later with a rolled up towel, walking into the separate shower to grab your wash cloth and body wash, then kneels near the tub behind you. he lifts up your head slightly, then pushes the towel underneath as a little makeshift pillow.
you study his upside down face carefully. his cheeks are slightly blushed from the heat of the bath, and the front pieces of his hair are curling slightly from it, too. there’s something so sweet in his eyes — you can’t quite explain it. but it makes you glow on the inside. 
leehan. leehan. leehan. my leehan. 
he beams down at you, stroking your head. “do you need to wash your hair tonight?” he asks, searching your eyes.
you simply shake your head no, too relaxed and soothed to speak. he nods, then takes the wash cloth and dips it in the tub.
he squirts your favourite body wash on it, then begins to rub it in your skin soothingly. the pressure of his strong hands, the warmth of the water, and the slight tingle of the texture of the cloth against your skin overwhelms you with relaxation. 
with each gentle rub, your pain washes away, lost to the mountains of bubbles. your mind goes blank, but not unpleasantly. it’s quiet, but not uncomfortable. at peace, in a way.
for a long time, leehan tends to you. his forearms are soaked, covered in tiny white bubbles, some even reaching up his cuffed sleeve. he holds every part of you so tenderly, as if you were the most precious being he’ll ever know. he’s careful to wash off any excess icky-ness of the day, humming lowly as he does. 
his fingers begin to prune, as do yours, and the bubbles begin to subside. he cups his hands in the water and uses it to wash off any leftover soap still stuck to your skin. you’ve passed the state of relaxation now, completely lost in bliss from leehan’s caresses.
as you hug your knees to your chest, he tells you to lift your head up off the little towel. two strong hands grip your shoulders, massaging them lazily. his hands rub the tense muscles for a few minutes, sending tingling sensations down your spine. 
“love you so much, darling. so so much” he purrs into your ear softly before letting his warm lips trail down your neck. he reaches one hand across your face to cup your cheek, turning your head ever so slightly. his fingers slide to rest under your chin, and he slowly lifts your head up so you’re looking right in his eyes. 
“you’re everything to me, yn. everything” he says, then presses his mouth to yours softly. he deepens the kiss by swiping his tongue across your bottom lip, asking for entrance. you let him in, allowing your tongue to tangle with his. he lingers in your mouth for a while, languidly tasting you over and over again. he finally breaks away, his cheeks slightly flushed. 
your own cheeks are blushed as well, your breath stuck in your throat slightly, in awe of the kiss. 
leehan uses his thumbs to guide your eyelids closed to press feather-light kisses to each one, then he wanders all over your face, not letting any inch of skin go un-kissed. one last time, his lips finds yours again. 
you look up at him sleepily, so relaxed and soothed, you could fall asleep right there. the harsh cold and sadness of before long gone. he notices your sleepiness. 
“ready for bed, my love?” 
“mm-hmm” you hum in response, your lids fluttering closed as you let him scoop you out of the tub and stand you up carefully. he quickly gets your robe off of its hook, then wraps it around your body, guiding each of your arms through the sleeves. he snugs it around you as tight as possible before tying the strap around your waist. he goes to empty the tub, the water beginning to drain with a large gurgle. 
leehan turns you around by the shoulders, guiding you to the closet so you can get dressed in your pyjamas. you stand in the middle of the closet, studying your boyfriend as he contently sifts through your drawers, trying to find your comfiest set of pyjamas.
“ah—these ones! these are so cute, baby. and they’re nice and warm. what do you think, hm?” he turns to look at you with sparkling eyes, a hint of playfulness in them. 
“yeah, those will work leehan” you let out a breathy laugh, completely amused by the fact that leehan thought these pyjamas are cute, all pink and adorned with hearts. 
he goes to unwrap your robe and delicately slide it off of you, letting it pool at your feet. the sudden cold air makes you cover yourself, prompting leehan to coo and hastily bring your pyjama top over your head.
“here, baby”, he says softly. the warm fabric gives you immediate relief, eliciting a sigh out of you. he bends down to put on the fluffy pants, gently holding your the back of your calves as he does so. you help him bring them up all the way, to which leehan lifts your top slightly to plant a sneaky kiss to your stomach. 
“hey!” you giggle. “that tickles” 
he smiles up at you sweetly, his fluffy brown hair covering his pretty eyes. “oh!” he perks up suddenly.  “i forgot your socks!” he exclaims, jumping to his feet to go through your sock drawer. he grabs the warmest, fluffiest pair he can find. 
once he’s put them on your feet, he wastes no time in scooping you up in his arms for the nth time that night. he walks you to the bed, switching off the bathroom light on his way out. even though it’s a brief walk, you snuggle up to him close, your head finding the crook of his neck to rest in. you place a soft kiss to the area of skin, then another, and another, until you’ve placed as many as you can before he sets you down gently. 
he adjusts the covers so you can cuddle up underneath them, and you slide your body under them and snuggle up as much as possible, making yourself cozy. 
leehan pulls the covers up to your chin, tucking in the rest around around body, making sure you’re as warm as can be. he sits down next to you, taking your hands in his. after a moment, he speaks.
“you should eat something warm. how about some soup?” he asks. 
“that sounds lovely”, you say quietly, “thank you, leehanie. for…for everything”, squeezing his hand to punctuate the words. 
“it’s what i’m here for, darling.” he stands, then gives you a quick peck on your forehead, then leaves as he says “i’ll be back soon”
my leehan. you think as you watch him go. your eyes stay trained on the door way, your ears listening to the soft chinks of the dishes and the quiet closing of cupboards, and the occasional crinkle of a packet.
you wait patiently for your love. thanking the stars a million times over for him. how lucky you were for them to align just so, allowing you to be together.
just a couple hours ago, you were laying in this same spot, curled up into a sad, miserable ball, sobbing at how cruel your mind and the world was. you had wanted nothing more than the bed to swallow you whole. 
but then, he came home to you. and here you are now, underneath toasty covers, and you felt alright. you were comforted and relaxed, but most importantly, you were loved.
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you lay in silence for a few long minutes, the occasional drip of the faucet hitting the bottom of the tub floating through the room. you trace random shapes with your eyes on the ceiling. just as your finishing tracing a heart, leehan walks in with a warm bowl of soup, soft swirls of steaming from it into the air. 
“it’s still a little hot but it shouldn’t take long to cool down” he says, placing the bowl on the nightstand next to you. he gives it a few stirs with the spoon, then turns his attention back to you. he smiles softly as he sits down next to you, fiddling the with warm duvet to snuggle you up more. 
he takes the bowl of comfort food in his hands with the towel. “open up” leehan lifts the spoon to your lips, then slowly tips it so you can swallow the warm liquid. 
“is it good?” he asks hopefully. 
“mm-hmm, it’s lovely. feels good to eat something warm” you respond sleepily, opening your mouth again as another spoonful comes towards you.
leehan feeds you lovingly in the perfect, comfortable quiet that envelopes you two. he makes sure you’ve eaten it all, until the bowl is just barely streaked with soup. when the spoon stops being useful, he brings the bowl to your lips and holds the back of your head gently as you drink up the rest. 
“i’ll go wash up the dishes. it’s not much, but if you feel like you need to sleep, don’t wait up for me, okay? rest. i love you, baby”. he kisses off an excess spot of soup at the corner of your mouth, then presses his lips to your forehead.
“i love you” you tell him softly.
you watch him go with heavy eyelids and a warm, full belly. 
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you don’t fall asleep just yet, even though you feel sleep tugging at your brain and body. you nearly drift off, but jerk yourself awake. you wanted to wait for leehan.
he was so wonderful to you today, so caring and compassionate. your heart squeezes as your mind recounts the details of the night. every little moment of leehan caring for you making a content smile tug at your lips. 
by the time he comes back into the room, your eyes are barely able to stay open.
“you’re still awake? you didn’t have to wait for me, yn.” he offers you a sweet smile as he brushes a strand of hair away from your eyes. 
“i know, i wanted to though. i want some cuddles” you say gently.
“you’re gonna get lots of cuddles, i promise.” you feel leehan’s weight dip the bed as he climbs in next to you.
before he can say anything else, you decide to speak. “i’m sorry, leehan. i was such a mess today”, you say quietly, fiddling with the top of the covers. 
“baby, wha-what?”, a sudden look of concern paints his face, his eyebrows quirking up in confusion.
his eyes look at you sadly. “what do you have to be sorry for?” he breathes out, his hand cupping your cheek softly, his thumb making soothing strokes. 
“i-i just…” your words get caught in your throat, and you feel the prickle of tears behind your eyes. a sob threatens to leave you, so you take a deep breath before speaking again. 
“i just dumped so much on you, you know? out of nowhere. you came home and there i was, a complete sobbing mess. just dumping so much of emotions onto you, with no warning. i didn’t even ask you about your day. i’m sorry you had to see me that way…i’m such a burden”. the well-known dark feeling enters your chest again, the rampant monster in your mind waiting to pounce. 
“oh, angel” he sighs. leehan takes his hand off your cheek to grab one of yours, holding it so tightly, you wonder if he thinks you’ll slip away if he let go. 
he brings your hand to his lips and kisses it softly. 
he studies you earnestly. “don’t ever be sorry for being open with me. you’re not a bother. you’re the furthest thing from it. it’s okay if you were a mess. i’m a mess sometimes. and when i am, you’re always there to care for me. why wouldn’t i do the same for you?” he pauses briefly, as if to make sure he doesn’t cry.
“it breaks my heart to know you feel the way you do, yn. you deserve the whole world” his voice cracks slightly at the end. leehan says the words with so much fervor and love, you want to believe him, so badly, but your mind continues to build blocks. you hate yourself for it, and he sees it written on your face.
“please hear me when i say this, my love” he squeezes your hand tight, bringing it to his heart. “i promise you’re good enough. i know you feel small sometimes. but please believe me when i say you are good enough. you work so so hard, and you’re so talented. i see how much you sacrifice to do well. you’re kind and thoughtful and smart. and really, really gorgeous…” he trails off, letting out a breathy laugh. his eyes begin to twinkle.
“you still make my heart race, y’know that? every time i look at you, it goes crazy. just for you and only you…i know i’m not the best with words, but, i really do love you. and you mean everything to me. i don’t need or want you to be perfect or put-together all the time. i want to see all the parts to you.  don’t be sorry for your feelings, please. and don’t be afraid to come to me, alright? nothing about you is ever too much for me, angel. there’s no such thing.” 
you quite literally feel like you could burst into a million pieces at that very moment. no one has or will ever make you feel as loved as leehan. the world would have to end before you even tried to figure that out. you really try to hear him, try to cement the words into your heart, to will away the dark thoughts. they might not disappear entirely, but you had leehan. your sweet leehan, who would never let you go through it alone. 
a few tears have made their way down your cheeks again, and his. he places your hand down gently, then leans down to kiss away your tears. he takes his time, slowly licking up the salty trails. he cups your face, stroking your reddened cheeks soothingly. he kisses every part of your face until there’s no part of skin that hasn’t been touched. 
you take his face in your hands, brushing away stray pieces of hair from his eyes. “my leehan”, you dote, “i love you so much. what would i do without you?”
he brings his lips to yours, softly at first. the kiss is light, barely a touch. he pulls away, just for a moment, to look into your eyes. he kisses you again, but deeper this time, a way for you to say i love you better than his words could tell. it’s passionate and intimate and vulnerable, and it tastes of your salty tears and his vanilla chapstick. your stray fingers tug at his hair slightly, pressing him closer to you. it’s a thank you kiss. an i love you kiss. a kiss that says i’ll never leave you.
after a few moments, he slowly breaks away from you. your eyes still closed. carefully, they flutter open to see a dazed, dreamy-eyed leehan and with every fiber of his being, with every piece of his heart, he says, “i love you, yn. i’ll love you forever”
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taglist — @whyilovewhales-pdf @uriwoos2
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vintagehellfire · 1 year ago
Text
Danse Macabre | E.M x Reader
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summary: Your best friend invites you to a concert that you're less than keen on but you get much more devil worship than you bargained for.
warnings: porn without plot, plot? What plot?, choking, nipple play, blood play, bruising, oral (m receiving), sacrilege, bdsm, dom sub dynamics, just really stupid horny honestly. Eyefucking, teasing, edging???? Spit kink, mask kink, devil worship. This is just pure filth honestly, piv, unprotected sex (don’t do this with strangers ya’ll pls I’m begging) mdni 18+
word count: 8.6k
Thank you to @the-unforgivenn for beta reading this pure filth for me and for correcting my atrocious keystroke mistakes. I love you so much babe.
part two
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How you got dragged to some sort of musical satanic ritual by your best friend Lilly was far beyond you. The heavy instrumentals contrasted too harshly with the light and theatrical vocals. If looks could kill, Lilly would be dead. This wasn’t your scene, it never would be, it’s what you told yourself. Sipping your gin, arms crossed, you scrunch your face, the bartender having been too busy staring at your chest while he poured your drink, resulting in a rather disgusting concoction. As if the night couldn’t get any worse. 
One of the lighter intro songs came to an end before the pyrotechnics roared to life next to you, one of the guitarists emerged from behind the waft of smoke. It was then that your breath caught in your throat, the way that he played had you hypnotised, placing you in a trance so deep that you couldn’t tear your eyes from him even if you wanted to, veins protruding. Your eyes trailed over his body, tight jeans fitting to his body and a uniform dress shirt adorning his torso, long sleeves and turtleneck underneath, hiding any soft skin. As you would be met with a face, you were surprised to find that you were met with a helmet of sorts, breathing tubes and other such accessories adorning it, as well as sticking out the top. His eyes burned red like embers behind the wide goggles, a darkness swallowing the man behind the mask and drawing you in. Curiosity got the better of you, you watched closely  when he stomped to the beat of the songs. he fans collectively let out a wave of screams, throwing flowers on stage. You rolled your eyes so hard they probably should have rolled out of your head. Were you attracted to the masked musician? In some capacity sure, but wholly? No. They just… they knew how to play well and those hands… you could admit those hands were something. You shook your head to rid yourself of impure thoughts, it wasn’t like you liked the music anyway. 
Your face was stone cold and your arms were crossed over your chest unhappily, cleavage pushed up, and the leather of your jacket creaking. That was the thing about you, you’d rather die than remove your prized biker jacket. It was your battle armour, much like the guitarists get up seemed to be the band’s uniform. To them, it protected their identity, and it protected you – you wouldn’t be caught off guard, you wouldn’t be vulnerable, you couldn’t. Your icy stare pierced through the smoke, through the flames, as you focused your gaze on the guitarist in front of you. His white guitar distinguished  him from everyone else just as your expression did you –perfectly sour.
The crowd behind you chanted along to the songs, screaming about Lucifer and the congregation and whatever other shit you chose to ignore in favour of your best friend. Lilly was one of them, jumping up and down, chanting every word of the hymns the lead singer belted out to the tune of the strong bass line and the chugging of guitars. As much as you wanted her to have fun, you rolled your eyes, this wasn’t your scene. Every song that started out heavy led to a disappointment with the vocals or the rock opera and so you just opted to be the designated party pooper and give your best glare towards the lead guitarist who seemed all too interested in your corner of the stage. He wailed on his guitar harder than you’d seen anyone wail on one before, a flash of worry briefly crossing your mind but you quickly pushed it down. 
The masked man played through his songs flawlessly, fingers moving expertly across the fretboard, mind and body completely in tandem; however your pout, your knit eyebrows, and crossed arms caught his eye, he’d stare back at you through his tinted goggles, smiling softly to himself at how adorable you looked when you were so grumpy. He could tell this wasn’t your scene and so during the slow and long intro to a song he walked over to the very front, standing just a few feet above you.  He tilted his head to the side, his mask listing as he stared, playing the intro as his eyes never left yours. 
The small movement caught your attention, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you felt like the glowing embers behind the goggles were burning into your very soul, dissecting every little secret. He slowly points to himself before he gets his queue to jump into his next riffs, stomping away as he pushed through the heavy chords that thundered through the concert hall. You dared not admit it to yourself, but something inside you snapped, a warmth starting to spread between your legs. No, no you couldn’t possibly be attracted to this, right? But just as that thought entered your mind, it shot out of your head and straight to your heart when you saw the man before you strut over to his bandmate. The two bent over backwards together, the taller of the two supporting the back of the man with the white guitar. A cute moment, or so you thought, but as soon as the shorter was up for his solo, the taller wrapped an arm around him and pawed at his cock, tugging him into his muscled body, catching the one you had your eye on off guard. He rocked his hips into the other and rested his masked head on the shorter shoulder, fake panting. He did not falter however, and that had your brain reeling. 
With a small smack on the ass, the taller let him go, strutting away as the crowd erupted in ear shattering screeches, and if what had just transpired wasn’t one of the hottest things you’d seen, you would have absolutely rolled your eyes, but instead it had you shifting in your place, all too keenly aware of the small flare of heat that lapped at you and the proximity of the other bodies surrounding you. You suddenly felt small, trapped; and you wanted nothing more than to run out and dunk your head under some ice cold water. What was wrong with you? Your eyes darted from side to side, hoping your best friend Lilly wouldn’t notice. 
What went on next was just about to make anyone lose their minds, the lead guitarist started to throw guitar picks into the crowd, plucking one last one from his guitar and marching over to directly in front of you. The song they played next was clearly well known but it was only vaguely familiar to you, it was one you would listen to ironically while doing the dishes, one that you didn’t care much for, but was catchy nonetheless. What you didn’t realise was just how suggestive the lyrics were – and so when the man with the white guitar stood in front of you, spreading his legs to put himself in a more comfortable playing stance you thought nothing about it but his next motions had your panties soaking themselves in your slick. A long and crooked finger pointed to himself quickly, then he went back to wailing on his precious guitar just before giving himself a window of about a second to stop, his ring and middle finger very rapidly turned upwards, flicking rapidly as if motioning fingering you, his goggles deadlocked on your eyes. You could tell he was watching you for a reaction, and how you knew you wouldn’t be able to tell. Christ, maybe you should have listened to Lilly when she was telling you this band was horny. Truthfully, you had shrugged it off, what, some singer in a pope mask acting all horny? That didn’t exactly get your rocks off, but the moment you laid eyes on the masked men playing their instruments, all rational thought flew out the window. 
Little did you know that the guitarist did have his eyes set on you, all queues already learned, his body moving on auto pilot, his performance was deliberately exaggerated just for you, his motions tailored to get you hot and bothered. He knew he played the best role, and as the show went on, with the lack of water, and the horrid head, he knew his veins were pronouncing themselves even more, fingers sliding around, fingering the fretboard with an expert speed. Every nook, cranny, and metal notch memorised by the calluses on the pads of his fingers, like an old lover he’d always know how to please. He would pride himself on it, on his accuracy, and he was thankful, oh so thankful, that his death metal band had allowed him the dexterity to pull something such as this off. 
Your eyes couldn’t tear themselves away from his figure, stalking his every move like a predator with their prey, A game of cat and mouse you both played with each other from the stage and the crowd. At this point, all shame was thrown out the window and you were openly eye fucking him, blood boiling in your veins and mouth starting to run a little dry. 
The final nail in the coffin was during their heaviest song during the show, a calm moment before the storm, before the stadium exploded in a downpour of black and white paper confetti. Your eyes fixated on the man before you as the song slows to a steady chug, breathy whispers sung into the microphones. It made your head spin as you were trying to compose yourself, breath hitching as the object of your lustful affection met your gaze. His black inky goggles bored you as he brought a shaky hand up, his other hand chugging the low E of his guitar. You were transfixed by the man, unable to peel your eyes from him as he slowly and seductively licked his hand, tongue expertly flicking between his fingers, his shaky breaths becoming ragged and exaggerated. Pressing his hand to his chest, he threw his head back in a moan, sliding his elegant fingers down the front of his uniform until it was level with his guitar, and exactly in time with his strumming, he fisted his hand and with a teasing motion he tugged at the air. Your mouth ran completely dry as you registered that he was feigning masturbation in front of thousands of people. He had you caught in a trance, hypnotised by his agonising motions, his eyes seemingly staring into your very soul, picking apart every last bit of you - he saw the scars inside and your desires all rolled into one. As his actions picked up, one hand still busy on his guitar, you let out a choked breath, transfixed by the man, ghoul, whatever he was, before you. He commanded all your attention, causing your mouth to run completely dry but it couldn’t have prepared you for his “release”--  letting go the moment the confetti cannon exploded. Your jaw slacked, a strangled moan flying from your mouth as you clenched your thighs together, mouth slightly agape. 
The guitarist knew he had you in a chokehold at that very moment, smirking from underneath his coverings. Flawlessly he jumped back into the song and turned away from you, the game of cat and mouse had become too much, too real. It had only taken him an hour and a half to break you down, but once he did he felt a satisfaction he couldn’t explain, and of course he would try to hide it as he continued to strut across the stage as if he owned it. The reality was that he didn’t want to give away just the way this little game had affected him as well, an undeniable strain in his lower half. If his bandmates had noticed, they had clearly made it their mission to torture him, the rhythm guitarist getting on his knees in front of him during a solo, fucking into his own guitar as he pressed his head to the lead guitarists thigh. It wasn’t until the lead placed a boot on his shoulder to push away from him that the one on his knees relented, the crowd exploding in a rain of screams, and yet all you heard was the rush of blood in your ears. You resigned, the game had been won.
As you tried to catch your breath, you looked over to Lilly, thanking Satan that she hadn’t noticed your turmoil. The rest of the show had you holding your breath, knowing that the masked musician had made it his mission to play games with you.  the show ended, you were relieved, you might have a moment yet to go home and get yourself off, forgetting the whole of the events that transpired. 
“Come on, let’s get out of here and to the merch table before it gets too crowded!” Lilly cheered, sticking her handout for you to take, but as soon as she looked over your face her eyes drained of excitement. “Oh, are you okay? You look a little pale,” she noted, tilting her head to the side. 
“Y-yeah, I,” You cleared your throat, “I’m fine, just feeling a little warm. I think I might head home but you go grab some merch. I’ll text you,” you lied cooly. You didn’t want her to know the profound effect that the lead guitarist had on you. With a nod she gave your shoulder a squeeze and darted off. 
You could finally breathe, the suffocation that gripped at your throat just moments earlier had slightly dissipated. As dirty as your thoughts were at the moment, it was in your best interest to get moving, and so, as if on autopilot, you let your feet carry you as far from the stage as possible. You slipped past the crowd, weaving in and around groups of friends, teenagers reeling about the show, displeased parents. You wanted to beeline it out of there before anyone noticed you but unfortunately your plan was short lived as you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist and tug you behind a closed door. 
Your brain ran at a mile a minute, trying to figure out whether it was cause for alarm, but as your back collided with the wall behind you, you were met with the masked ghoul from the stage pressing his knee between your legs, pinning you in place. All colour drained from your face as your breathing laboured. There wasn’t any fear in your body, not any longer, and if there had been any,it had been replaced with undeniable arousal, heat being sent straight to your core. It took all your willpower not to grind into his thigh.
“Hey, sweetheart.” The husky voice purred, a small accent peaking through. He smelled intoxicating, like amber and cigarettes, a tinge of iron poking through in the softest of undertones. It drove you crazy, mind spinning, dizzy with want. He cocks his head to the side, his nautical mask tilting, the black goggles seemingly bottomless, swallowing his eyes. The musician’s expression is completely unreadable and if you knew any better you’d say it was like a predator who had caught his prey. Your mistake was thinking the little game you both played was over, yet now it seems like it had just begun. The man leans into you, invading your space completely, his covered mouth coming up beside your ear. “Oh you thought our little game was over, didn’t you?” He pulls back, allowing your caged body some space. “Don’t think I didn’t see you, little one.” His sweet voice purrs, setting you over the edge, hips finally pushing into his leg as your head tilts back, smacking softly into the wall.
“Fuck…” The syllable leaves your mouth as a groan before you can do anything about it. Surely you were dreaming this, but when you opened your eyes, you were met with the same mask, the same expression that stared at you from the stage. 
“If that’s what you want, sweetheart, I’ll have to bring you to the green room. We’ll paint it red in sin .” You swore you could hear him wink from behind his coverings but you didn’t care, satan, you didn’t care as long as you could have him. You’d worship him in uniform, all sweat slicked and bloody if you had to. In this moment you had a one track mind and you’d be damned if you didn’t act on your desires… but maybe having these desires meant that you were already damned. “What, not as bold anymore? Devil got your tongue?” He mused. 
“Are you going to run your mouth or are you going to fuck me?” You spit out at him, a feigned venom behind your words, but they were too lust drenched to be taken harshly. In an instant his body was against yours, thigh pressing into your cunt, slowly rubbing back and forth.
“Earn it.” He growled out, face burying itself into the crook of your neck to pepper both kisses and love bites across your jugular. Your body caught fire, desperate to be taken by the mysterious man then and there. You hadn’t seen his face and you were mildly worried that seeing it would ruin the illusion. Would you even find him attractive under all his coverings? You didn’t have time to think about it before his hands came to the meat of your ass, tugging you against him with a burning desire, fire coursing through his veins. The strangled moan that ripped from your throat was one you weren’t expecting, but did it ever feel right, his strained cock digging into your hips as he pushed your body closer to his. You could tell he was well endowed even through the fabric of his trousers, a heat creeping up your neck at this realisation. 
“Don’t tease.” You spat, hands coming up to grip his slightly torn jacket, his arm coverings hiding any identifiers. You were going off of nothing aside from the little fire element pin that was securely pinned to the lapel of his uniform. Your hands found themselves tugging him forward, daring him to kiss you. 
“Don’t be a brat.” The stranger growled, swiftly lowering the cloth covering his mouth before assaulting your lips with his. It was all teeth and tongues, pure lust taking over every one of your senses, and it seemed to be true for him as well. You kissed back furiously, nipping at his bottom lip, eliciting a gasp from him that would turn into a groan as you rolled your hips against his, begging for some relief. “Easy, pet.” He muttered against the plushness of your mouth, a small tender moment slipping through the cracks. As much as you enjoy rough, there was a certain swell that filled your heart in knowing that he wouldn’t push too far. 
Your escapades were all tongue, teeth, and lips, strangled moans, and tugging at each other’s clothes until you both reached the green room wherethe band was supposed to be, however, your mystery man had ensured to clear it before he went out to find you. The only time either one of you broke from one another was for air or to push the door closed, locking it in the process. Both of you were too impatient, a carnal desire for one another pooling into your veins, fire spreading through you both and kindling in that very low spot in your abdomens.
“If you need me to stop, the safe word is Beelzebub.” The man’s husky voice cut through the groans, tugging your hips forward into his by the belt loops. He gave you a moment to process what he had said, but instead you grabbed onto his mask and tugged his head forward, lapping at his bottom lip in order to gain access to his mouth. As soon as he parted his lips, you were welcomed by his tongue dancing in tandem with yours. He tasted of wintergreen and cigarette smoke, a combination so sinful, so depraved that you should have been turned off, instead it flooded you with desire. 
“Need you.” You panted out between kisses, the man unrelenting his assault on your mouth. You were utterly soaked through, and you were certain that the musician could smell you but you didn’t care, not right now anyway. You should have been embarrassed by being taken like this but it just turned you on even more knowing that maybe you would get to live out your newly discovered kink instead of trying to soothe — or smother — the flames by yourself. 
“Do you need me?” The man mused. “Mmm, prove it to me, my little devil.” His hand crept from your waist down to your hips, and from your hips down to between your legs, agonizingly circling your cunt, thumb pressing into the seam of your jeans in the exact spot your clit would be in. “Show me how needy you are for me… Go on…” His husky voice teased. When you didn’t react he spun you so your back would be to him, a strong arm holding you against his body while the other busied himself with teasing you. His breath was by your ear now, and his cock pressed into your ass. He was so worked up that he began to rut his hips forward, moaning at the friction. His moan elicited a reaction in you, causing you to throw your head back onto his shoulder, mouth falling open. The tassels on his overcoat swayed with each rut of his hips, tickling the side of your face. You couldn’t imagine he wasn’t warm in his get up but you were too occupied to do anything about it. 
“Please, fuck, I need you.” You choked out, eyes screwed shut as he teased. You felt him lick a stripe up your neck before nipping just underneath your ear as a small warning before latching his lips to the sensitive spot, sucking a dark bruise into your skin. The sickening combination of his lips on your neck, his hard on rubbing against your ass, and his fingers teasing your clothed cunt was becoming too much, driving your senses crazy. A low growl emanated from deep within his chest, reverberating across your back from the proximity.
“Then get down on your knees….” He spins you around, voice low and husky as he shoves you down, a mix of fear and burning desire settling in the deepest pits of your stomach. Your knees hit the ground with a thud and you’d be sure to bruise later, but that was a small price to pay. You watched him undo his belt and pull his zipper down before bringing his hand back up to his face, licking it slowly like he had during the show. You knew what was coming but what you didn’t expect was him to give you one last order as he spidered his fingers down the ruffled fabric of his shirt. “And pray.” An animalistic snarl came from beyond the mask as his fingers trailed into his boxers this time. The man tugged his cock out and began to stroke himself, chest heaving, his breathing became laboured. 
“Oh, god.” You uttered, but the musician didn’t seem to like that. He let go of his cock, allowing it to bounce against his stomach, a stark contrast with his black attire. It looked delicious with the little opalescent bead of precum nestled on the very tip. 
“No, my pet,” he purred, his thumb coming to your lips, slipping past them and into your mouth. It tasted of brass and sweat yet you opted to hollow your cheeks around it anyway, “you answer to our savior, satanus here. You are no longer in the house of god.” There was a cruelty behind his voice, corruption on his tongue. You would have thought the theatrics would have instantly had you shoving him away, but instead it left you craving the masked man, mouth salivating at the thought of him completely ruining you. 
Without much warning, he tapped his cock on your lips, his precum smudging across your lips, and satanus, was it going to be his death. Your dark smudge of red lipstick would become ruins in the wake, the thought of a red ring around his member had his brain short circuiting, if you didn’t take him in your mouth soon he was going to lose it. Luckily you complied, opening wide to accommodate his size, letting your tongue lap at his tip as he slid in. He started slowly, almost carefully in order not to hurt you but soon enough you pushed his cock to the back of your throat, eliciting a strangled moan from him. His hands flew to your hair, desperate to hold onto something, anything, and he tugged you forward, pulling a moan from the very back of your throat. You pulled back, saliva building up in your mouth mixing with the salty taste of his seed.It wasn’t something you expected to like but you found yourself chasing it, craving more. 
Your head bobbed over his length, your moans muffled as you tried to take him deeper, his tip brushing the back of your throat. His delicate resolve broke then and there, slamming into you at a frantic pace. He chased his high, immense pleasure searing through his veins as he fucked into your mouth like an animal, all sense of self control was gone. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, giving him the most innocent look you could muster as you flicked your tongue over his tip, lapping at his slit. Agonisingly you pulled back, employing the aid of your hand around his length, taking only part of him in your mouth. You jacked him off as you hollowed your cheeks around his tip, tongue expertly flicking over his frenulum and eliciting the most pornographic moan from him.
“Satanus, save me.” The man hissed from above you, pulling on your hair to draw you closer. He was losing control, babbling about how pretty you looked on your knees for him. “You are so exquisitely sinful, my pet.” His chest heaved with every breath he took, fingers tangling themselves further into your head of hair, fingernails practically at your scalp. 
You take the praise and you run with it, taking it as a signal to keep going, and this time you move your free hand up his leg, rubbing over his thigh as a tease, a preamble to what you were going to do next. You took his groan as a confirmation to continue, his breaths coaxing you to keep going. You slid your hand up, opting to rub his thigh teasingly, savouring the feeling of the looser material under your fingertips, toying with it before you continued your journey up. While your mouth and right hand busied themselves with his thick cock, your left hand came up to fondle his heavy balls. Who knew that praying to a false idol could be so pleasurable. 
“Oh, oh, f-fuck.” The taller threw his head back, voice gruff and fucked out, clearly enjoying this more than he should have been. He was rapidly losing any grip on the situation and he needed to extract himself from it unless he wanted to spill into your mouth. It was his nightmare, his most sinful fantasy, having you like this after the show – a stranger, a person in the crowd. The amount of people that would absolutely kill to be in your position and it was likely that you weren’t appreciating it as you should have been. The man keened before tugging you back harshly, his hips stuttering at the sudden loss of contact from your mouth. “If you keep going like that, I’m going to cum down your throat, sweetheart.” There was a certain level of concern laced into his tone, one that you glossed over through your lust. 
“Holy shit…” You breathe out, pupils completely blown, the colours of your irises practically disappearing due to how clouded your mind was with him, only him, nothing but him, and how divine his cock was. At your words, something inside him snaps and he grabs your throat, pulling you up. You could feel yourself growing more aroused by the minute. How he had guessed that you’d be into choking was beyond you, but fuck was this doing things to you that you hadn’t even thought possible. 
“There is nothing Holy here.” He growled out, a darkness overtaking his voice. His words sent a cold shiver down your spine, one that found itself shooting down towards your core, causing you to press to him. The ember glow from behind his goggles scanned over your face, flickering, igniting a fire in the bits of your belly. “Here we succumb to our lust.” He breathes before letting your neck go only to bring his hand down to your chest and massage your breast, pinching gently through the fabric of your tank top. In an instant, his mouth attacked your neck savagely, teeth nipping at the thin skin, tongue flicking over the bites to soothe them. You tilt your head back to accommodate him, your breathy moans coming up right beside his ear as you rut into him. You’re desperate to be fucked at this point, needing him more than you need to breathe. 
He pierced your skin with his canines, an animalistic desire for you taking over him. He could no longer think, all consumed by his desires. You felt his lips trail down, soft as a butterfly’s wings, stopping at your jugular vein before he bit down, causing you to let out a yelp. Your cry of pain turned into a pornographic moan as he sucked and lapped at your salty skin, a small sheen of sweat starting to gloss over you as you burned up. If this was what being in hell was like, you’d have a hard time coming up with reasons to wind up in heaven. Your torture didn’t end there; however, as he snaked his free hand up to your cheek, holding you in place tenderly as he continued his assault on your neck. He made it his mission to mark you up as his but you were too far gone to care. 
“Oh Christ.” You moaned as he lapped at the bite marks he left, but he didn’t seem to like this. Not that you could see this much, but his eyes turned dark as he trailed his lips farther down, burying his face in the crook of your neck before he bit down hard enough to draw blood. Your pain was immediately covered in a strangled cry of pure ecstasy as he tugged you towards him, his hand on your breast moving to your hip, surely bruising it, fingerprint embedded in the skin of your hip bone. 
The taste of iron filled the musician’s mouth, his hard on reacting to your metallic taste, pressing into your hip involuntarily. He couldn’t get enough of you - the intoxicating smell of amber and palo santo mixed with the salt from sweat, and the citrus of the gin… He wanted to ruin you once and for all. 
“No, my pet, you are not in the house of God. Only the devil resides here. Will I need to have you pray to me again?” The growl that ripped from his throat has you soaking your lace panties, a choked sob escaping from your parted lips. As he took you in, he noted that you already looked completely fucked out, the bruising on your neck blooming like deep red roses, a symbol of both love and devotion. The only thing you could do was shake your head in answer to him. “Mmm,” the stranger hummed, “your body and blood are mine, sweetheart.” He teased you. As your chest heaved, you examined him, traces of your blood down his chin, and some smeared across his mask, his lips were swollen from the harsh and animalistic kisses he was giving you, and satanus were you ever attracted to him in this moment. 
“Please… Can I see you?” You plead, your hands coming to his waist, trailing down slowly, your right hand making contact with his cock. The soft cant of his hips encouraged you to grip it gently, stroking him languidly as you await his answer. “Please…” You repeated, eyes desperately boring into the void behind his goggles. 
“Oh, is my little pet desperate to see me?” He cooed out, his fingers skillfully finding your belt, undoing it at a painfully slow pace. It was your turn to buck your hips into him, rolling them into his touch. “Mmm, such a little slut, can’t wait until I get my hands on you, can you?” He teased. 
“Satanus, yes, please! Wanna see you.” You groaned, breath catching as he slowly teased you through your jeans. “Need you, need- need- ah!” You cried, throwing your head back once again, eyes fluttering shut from absolute pleasure. It’s then that the man opted to unzip your fly, pausing his animalistic activities to gently tug your jeans over your hips. You weren’t having any of this slow and sweet shit; however, and kicked them off as soon as you got the chance to, allowing him easier access to your sopping cunt. The smell hit him immediately and he moaned, head falling against your forehead, his breathing ragged and strained. His cock reacted, bouncing in your hand and you continued your teasing. 
“Then beg me for it, pet. I don’t think you’ve earned the opportunity to unmask me just yet.” His resolve crumbled with every soft touch, every stroke. He pushed into your hand and you took that as a sign to speed your motions before you pushed him back. Confusion was written across his features, that was until you let a healthy glob of spit hit his angry cock. “Oh mother fuck.” The man hissed out, crashing his bloodied lips into your own, allowing the metallic taste of your own blood to permeate your tongue. You reciprocated, tongue swiping across his bottom lip, begging for entrance. He parted his lips, granting you access, as he swiftly moved your panties to the side, his thick fingers slipping between your weeping folds. It took everything in him to not take you then and there, your pussy sucking his fingers in, tight and wet. 
“Please, please, I need to see you.” You sobbed out between kisses, but it was clear that it wasn’t enough. The musician growled at your words, dipping his index into your slick and using it as a lubricant to tease your clit with, it took him a moment but he found the bundle of nerves. The instanthis calloused finger landed on your clit, your vision exploded into stars, mouth practically running on its own, incoherent pleas and various iterations of “more” tumbling from your swollen lips. You were finally giving him something to work with, the pleas, the praises. He continued working your cunt, curling his fingers into the sweet spot deep inside you, warm walls squeezing against him. 
“Oh, darling. I’ll give you whatever your sinful heart desires.” He nipped at your bottom lip, splitting it with his canines before he pulled back, panting as he tried to catch his breath, however he refused to remove his hand from your cunt, slowing his movements only a fraction so that he could catch his bearings. “Are you sure?” He asked you, a worry laced in his voice. You nodded fervently, a saccharine look in your eyes peeking through beyond the undeniable lust. Whether you understood he was anxious about what you would think of him or not wasn’t apparent but regardless, you wanted to know who the man you were bound to fuck was. 
With a swift move he tugged the mask off, tossing it to the couch behind him and removing his balaclava. What you hadn’t expected was the sight to take your breath away completely. His hair tumbled out of the bun he had it tucked into, and the messy curls cascaded down his shoulders, doe eyes framed by the prettiest eyelashes you’d ever seen, and his swollen lips? God you couldn’t even think anymore. You immediately kissed them, nipping at his lips, taking his bottom lip into your mouth and sucking, tearing a moan from him, his lust filled eyes expanding even farther as you continued your assault on his lips. You bit down harder this time, cracking his lip. This time the metallic taste belonged to him and you couldn’t help but moan at his taste. You needed more. 
“Please, I- I need you…” You panted, eyeing the man with carnal desire. 
“Eddie, my name is Eddie.” And with that final confession he grabbed you by the hip and dragged you back to the roomiest surface he could find. It was all teeth, tongue, and the metallic taste of each other’s blood. Your hand on his cock and his fingers still working you open, movements becoming more erratic as he practically drilled into you with his fingers, setting an unrelenting pace that he seemed eager to keep up. Your knees hit the back of a couch, and his arm immediately shot to the small of your back, gently lowering you, a contrast to how he was abusing your needy body. Your hands moved to his hair in preparation for what was to come, yanking at his soft locks, releasing a deep moan from low in his chest. His hair was silky underneath your fingertips, few tangles in the way or your mission. 
“Eddie, please.” You whined, flush with desire, unable to think of what you wanted anymore than wanting him. A smirk adorned his lips and he sank his knees onto the soft cushion, knees bracketing your hips perfectly, his hands coming up to frame your face, curls ticking your cheekbones as he did so. 
“Open up, sweetheart.” He cooed. Instinctively you parted your lips for him only to feel a glob of his spit fly into your mouth. “Now swallow like the good devil worshipping slut you are.” You obeyed without question, swallowing down his spit with a pornographic moan. As you did, he took a moment to line himself up for you. “God, you look so beautiful, blasphemous doesn’t even begin to cover it, pet.” He praised as he rubs his dick against your soaked entrance, your hips rocking into him, threatening to suck him in. He hissed but slid his hand down your body, tracing your figure with his fingers, teasing in the most tantalising way, once he reaches your ass, he gives it a harsh slap at which you gasp out, choking on your breath, the sting of his hand making contact with your ass radiating a heat you hadn’t thought possible. You hadn’t expected it in the least but it was welcome nonetheless. “Behave.” He growled out, a darkness seeping into the word.
“P-Please, Eds… I need - I can’t, please.” You babbled, words completely incoherent. You weren’t even sure what you were begging for at this point. His cock? His fingers? Were you asking to be fucked stupid? In all your incoherent ramblings and begging Eddie caught one thing that made his brain fuzzy around the edges. “Corrupt me satanus, corrupt me, please.” Playing into the whole devil worship aspect had him gone, his hips violently snapping into yours, completely disregarding that you might need to adjust to the stretch. Part of him felt bad, but your immediate response was to wrap your legs around his waist, crying his name out as tears brimmed your eyes, mascara beginning to run down your cheeks. To Eddie, you looked absolutely perfect. He leaned in and peppered kisses across your face to wipe away the tears that trickled down. 
“S’this what you want, my little pet? You want me to ruin you?” His husky voice was in your ear as he dipped his head lower, his hips rolling into yours slowly. He moved masterfully for someone so scrawny, cock buried to the hilt as he rocked into you. Your mouth fell slack, tightening your legs around his waist and tugging him into you. “Come on, answer me, sweetheart.” He coaxed, pulling out of you slowly before snapping his hips into yours. The pleasure and pain mixed together in a teasing dance, keeping you on the edge and overwhelming your senses all the same. You couldn’t verbally answer and so you turned your head, tucking your face into his neck and kissing up to his ear. About halfway up you landed on a sensitive spot, causing a moan to tumble from his lips, a shiver running down your spine. You latched on like a vampire, sucking over the spot, lapping over it with your tongue to soothe any violent bites you inflicted upon him. In turn he bit into your shoulder, trying to ground himself in reality instead of losing himself to carnal pleasure, the coil in his abdomen tightening evermore. His plan had gone to shit the moment you continued to nibble on his neck, your hands tugging harder at his lock, pulling him further into you. With a slight upward tilt of your hips, Eddie hit a new angle when he snapped his hips into yours, ploughing deeper into you. The both of you moaned in unison before he released a strangled whimper. It was your turn to break skin, your mouth filled with the crimson substance that sustained Eddie’s life. Releasing your lips from the wound, you kissed over his neck and to his shoulder, smearing the fluid across his upper half. 
His pace picked up, slamming into you, deeper and deeper, nothing but the sound of breathless lovers, bodies colliding, and the sweet ecstasy of carnal desire flooding the green room. Your hand then came to his back, scratching down it and eliciting a whine from the man above you. 
“Please, please, please.” You chanted into his neck. It was as if he understood what you meant, his hand coming down between your joined bodies to rub over the bundle of nerves, little figure eights being drawn over your clit. You were going to lose your mind, and maybe even your soul. Would selling it to the devil be so bad? It didn’t take long after that for a white heat to build, a pressure that you weren’t used to building, the coil tightening, threatening to snap like an elastic band. 
“Oh, shit, sweetheart, I’m close.” The man turned his head, kissing up your neck, over your cheek, and found your lips. His kiss was searing hot, burning with need. He chased his release with you, trying to bring you as close to the edge as he could, hoping you might be able to finish at the same time. “Don’t want to finish until you do.” The devil could be generous if he wanted to be.
“S’close.” You panted against his swollen lips, unable to give any coherent answer to him, not that you cared. If laying in sin felt this good, you’d bed the devil any day. “Please, Eds… Don’t stop.” And somehow he kept at it, the same pace, same pressure, same rough and unrelenting fuck that he had been using for the past few minutes. He knew that don’t stop also meant that he shouldn’t change a single fucking thing he was doing, and rightfully so. With a cry, you closed your eyes tight, lights dancing behind your eyelids as you came, the elastic finally snapping, and your release soaking Eddie’s stage uniform. 
“Oh- fuck!” The man squeaked, his own release following shortly after. He could have sworn he saw stars in that moment, arms shaking beneath his own weight. His body fully collapsed on top of yours, your arms wrapping around him tightly, kisses tenderly placed on his shoulder. “So perfect f’me.” He mumbled into your sticky skin, reluctantly peeling from you. His brutal and domineering demeanour melted away, replaced by a certain level of care. You could see it behind his eyes clearly. “You okay, sweetheart?” He cooed, brushing your hair from your face, a few strands sticking to your forehead. 
“Y-yeah.” You shakily breathe out, your voice hoarse from the activities that had just taken place. As you try to prop yourself up on your shoulders, you wince, a pain shooting through you. “Just sore.” You murmured, suddenly shy under the musician’s gaze. You didn’t dare look at him anymore, a twinge of shame filling your heart. 
“Hey, sweetheart, come here.” He mumbled, scooting closer, not daring to pull out just yet. He pulls you up, legs entangled with each other in a pile of limbs, unsure of where one person ended and the other began. He pressed your warm body to his, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, rubbing soothing circles over your back, his gentle voice whispering sweet nothings to you. 
“Thank you, Eddie.” You mumbled into his skin, placing a tender kiss over a forming bruise. “That was something else.” He hummed in agreement, allowing his eyes to flutter close for a second, letting himself enjoy a fleeting moment of human contact while he was on tour. While the guys were wonderful and he loved them to death, there was a certain intimacy that he missed in lovers. One that he didn’t indulge in as much these days. 
Reluctantly, he pulled out and you pulled away, debating whether to say anything to him, or whether you wanted to indulge in some more pleasantries. If you were any wiser and more observant you’d have noticed the longing in his eyes, his gaze trailing over your figure as you pushed away to gather your belongings. It was odd to say that the musician would have wanted you to stick around for some more aftercare, it would have been even stranger if he admitted to you that he just wanted you to stick around post coitus and have a drink, maybe a smoke, and get to know each other. 
“Hey, hang on, let me clean you up.” His voice softened, taking you aback. “Come on, pet, I’m not gonna leave you like this.” He gets up only to tuck himself back into his slick soaked uniform, cringing as he does so. He grabs a water bottle from the nearby table and a small cloth kept on the vanity in the far corner of the room. “Come on, just sit.” He motioned back over to the couch and watched as you hesitantly padded over. You sat down on the cleanest area you could find, squirming as you began to feel Eddie’s cum slipping out of you. 
“S’fine, you don’t have to.” You mumbled, turning away from the man. He sighed as he approached you, sinking to his knees before starting to clean your thighs. He worked his way up between your legs, cleaning the leaking spend from your cunt. He placed a few gentle kisses to the tops of your thighs, your eyes flicking over to him as he did so. That was the moment you got a good look at the man. Dark ink littered his skin, barely an inch was pure, untouched, the only areas you couldn’t see his tattoos were the areas in which you had drawn blood, the dried fluid flaking slowly. He continued cleaning you up, rubbing gentle and warm circles with the wet cloth. Part of you couldn’t help but find this incredibly thoughtful, your heart squeezing at the gestures, but the other half of you believed that you were probably just an easy lay. 
“Hush, yes I do. It’s the least I can do.” His doe eyes met yours as he looked up at you through his lashes. “I made a mess of you, darling, and I need to clean you up.” His voice was sincere, soft even, and you couldn’t help but melt. You allowed him to tend to your tired limbs, and once he got to your neck, he apologised, knowing that it would probably hurt. You couldn’t help but stare at the softness behind his eyes, the fire that burned within had fizzled out and was replaced by some unnamed emotion. As the towel made contact with your neck, you winced, earning yourself a kiss from the musician. It shocked you that even after the heat of the lustful moment he was still willing to kiss you but you accepted it, melting into his lips. They were soft, a little chapped, but inviting nonetheless. 
“Thank you.” You whispered against them, afraid your voice would give out if you spoke any louder. Your hand came up to his face, brushing your thumb over his sharp cheekbone before placing your forehead against his. “You’re sweeter than I anticipated.” 
“And you’re kinkier than I anticipated.” He retorted and moved back gently, only to give himself room to fold the towel over to a clean side before cleaning up your face with a gentle hand. “Thank you for indulging me.” He cooed out to you, his sincerity going straight to your heart. You couldn’t help but nod. 
“I should go.” Your voice broke, and in that same moment, so did Eddie’s heart. There was something to you that drew him in, that he wanted more of, that he craved. It flew past just the need for human contact, part of it had to do with the way you ran with the punches he threw, you went with the game you played from the stage all the way to the back room. Eddie nodded solemnly, pushing away. 
“Yeah, uh…” He bit his lip, tossing the washcloth on the coffee table. Surely worse things had been on that surface in the past, but right now Eddie didn’t care about that, not about what was on that table, what would be in the future, or what he just threw onto it. “You don’t have to, I actually, I don’t know that I want you to. Can I at least buy you a drink?” He asked, standing up straight. You turn around, grabbing your pants so you could slip them back on over your legs. 
“You want to buy me a drink?” There’s a hopeful tinge to your voice, head shooting over to look at the musician in question. As you did, you hissed out gently, the garden of blooming roses on your neck blossoming farther across your neck, bite marks adorning your skin like dark tattoos. There was no denying what had gone on. 
“Sweetheart, I think we both left a mark on one another,” he teased, “when you pray to the devil so well, I think it’s hard for him to resist.” A twinkle in his eyes told you it was more than just the sex you both had. “Besides, it might help with the pain. What do you say?” 
“Mhmm,” you hummed as if you were deep in thought, “only if the devil can treat me right.” You mused. “You going to change first?” You waggled your eyebrows, referring to his squirt-soaked trousers, only to receive a smirk in return.  “Oh no sweetheart, I wear my battle scars with pride.” With that, he pushed back to grab his helmet, slipping it back over his head before taking your hand in his and leading you off to the bar. He wasn’t what you expected, none of it was, the show, the music, Eddie, but as you took his hand you couldn’t help the feeling brewing in your chest; the feeling that maybe the unexpected was exactly what you needed.
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taglist: @munson-blurbs @the-unforgivenn @littlesubbyflower @word-wytch (if you want) @rip-quizilla @hellfire--cult @mystish
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marikuchanxo · 10 months ago
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Praise Me More
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Characters: Husband!Nanami Kento x F!Reader
Word Count: 900 words
CW: extreme fluff, pet names.
Author's note: To all my people who love praises, have some from none other than Nanami Kento 💙💙
Divider: @plutism
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Heaves and sighs fill up the bedroom; indicating the conclusion of your love making session with your husband Nanami Kento. He gives you a delicate forehead kiss as he rests beside you on his back. You bring your arm around his torso and nestle your head on his chest. You’ve always loved listening to his heartbeat, a state of ecstasy engulfs your soul.
“Are you alright?” Nanami asks, looking at you tenderly.
“Never been better.” You reply, nuzzling into his neck.
Nanami pats your back gently while admiring your delicate features. He brings himself to the side to face you, when all of a sudden he utters those words upon your ears.
“You’ve been such a good girl to me. I am the luckiest to have you by my side.” 
Your face flushes with a pink-hued blush. You instinctively intertwine your hand with Kento’s, as you bring yourself to kiss his cheek, a sign of gratitude. 
Later on, you get fuzzy inside whenever you remember Kento’s praise to you. Excitement goes through you which gets you more motivated throughout your days. 
The next day, after having lunch with Kento, you both get to the living room to relax a bit on the couch. Kento brings his book to continue reading it. His hand finds your thigh to caress it gently; a loving gesture connecting both your hearts. You get a bit anxious though. You aren’t used to asking something from Kento as he’s always attentive to your needs. Although you are shy about it, you muster up the courage anyway. You clutch his hand to grab his attention.
“Kento,” he turns to you, “Yes, love?”
“I want to ask you a favour.” “I am all ears.” He replies with a soft smile.
“Remember the other day when you praised me?” He nods, all his focus on you. “I actually need more of it; in daily life though, not just when we are intimate together.”
“Of course. May I ask if there is any specific reason?”
You fiddle with his hand, avoiding eye contact with him. You are really shy to tell him your reasons. After all, you are an adult, why would you still need such a thing at such an age?
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Either way, I am proud of you for voicing what you want from me.”
Kento raises your chin to look at him. Earning some bravery from his sweet-honeyed eyes, you decide to confess.
“It’s just….praising makes me more motivated to live life, and makes me feel appreciated. It turns down my thoughts of not being good enough. That’s all I have.”
You end your words with a warm smile to Kento. He brings you on his lap to embrace you with his loving arms. 
“Thank you for trusting me with your thoughts. I can assure you no day will pass by without the praise you need.”
You snuggle more into his warm hug, “I am really lucky to have you in my life, Kento. Thank you.” “Anything for you, sweetheart.” He replies, tenderly kissing your temple. 
And as always, when Kento promises, he keeps it.
💙In the morning, you find a text from Kento on your phone.
Kento💙: Thank you for the bento. Gojo won’t stop nagging about telling you to make one for him too. But, I don’t share. Unfortunately. Please keep the notes, too.”
You giggle as you read his text. You reply to him gladly. You: I am glad you liked it. Don’t worry, it is made specially for you. I am waiting for you. Stay safe 💖.
💙After having dinner, he goes to wash the dishes. Whenever he can, Kento insists on helping you with the house work, even if he had a long day at work.
“Let me wash the dishes. I appreciate making my favourite meal. I was in dire need of it.” And he kisses both of your cheeks.
💙Whenever Kento sees you studying Japanese, he likes to encourage you.
“I see your writing has improved. I am here for you whenever you need me. Do you want to have some tea?” “Thank you, Kento. And yes, please.”
He kisses your forehead before heading to the kitchen. You are studying Japanese as you want to improve your communication with Kento. Sometimes you practise speaking with him. Pride in his eyes are shown when you buy groceries together and you can understand what’s written around you in the convenience store.
💙Sometimes Kento works from home. He takes his breaks seriously so he can spend some time with you. He finds you doing the laundry in the laundry room. He smiles to himself, seeing his hard working wife doing her best. As you hear your husband’s footsteps, you find him standing by the door.
“Hello there, handsome.” “Hello, my love. Would you like to join me for the lunch break?” “That would be my pleasure.”
As you walk to him, Kento stops you to admire your face. He holds your hands and kisses both your palms tenderly, taking his time. He lays his eyes on you, admiring your presence.
“This house wouldn’t be a home without you. I appreciate what you do.”
You look at Kento lovingly, caressing his cheek.
“Aw, babe. It is the least I can do for you.” You assure him as he leans more into your soft palm.
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gummydummy19 · 3 months ago
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Month seven (November): shower me with love
Summary: You do your friend a favour and drag Sy with you to go house-sitting (more like mansion-sitting, but whatevs)
A/N: Oh my god I'm excited for this one... I know this literally took me a million years (apologies AGAIN). I have missed these two like crazy, so without further ago, get cozy and happy reading <3
Word Count: 4k+
(this is part seven of my series: A year in apartment 6B)
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The days had been shortening, slowly but surely getting gloomier. Most people hated it. The cold and the darkness. Wet pavement, foggy windows, rosy cheeks, and leaky noses.
You found it charming. It made you appreciate the coziness of your home even more. the home you'd been living in for almost seven months now.
While the rain tapped against the floor-to-ceiling windows of your office, you found yourself thinking of that very home. You couldn't wait to finish work and rush back to your apartment, curling up on your couch with yet another sappy romance novel.
"Can I ask you a favor?" your thoughts were interrupted by Elizabeth, your chaotic but very sweet work bestie. You met her during your first week at the office. She found you cursing yourself in the copy room trying to figure out how the printer worked you guys had stuck together ever since. It was nice to have someone to have lunch with and fill you in on office gossip.
"What now Liz?", you sighed jokingly.
She looked around to see if anyone was listening before whispering "Break room, now." and walking off. You quickly got up and followed her, wondering what this was about.
"Clark's assistant asked me to housesit for him while he's on his business trip next weekend."
Clark was our boss. Handsome guy, tall, rich, and always in a freshly pressed suit. He wasn't really your type, but according to Liz he always smelled delicious. Of course, she would know, she had been secretly seeing him for over a month now. It was all very exciting.
"Okay?..." you questioned, not really understanding what the problem was.
"It's the Paris trip..."
Right.
Office romance was very exciting indeed, but also very forbidden, and even though Clark was our boss, he wasn't the boss of the company.
Of course, he asked her to come to Paris with him. You knew it was hard for them to keep away from each other, it was truly adorable to see them try though. No one would have to know. It would be their perfect weekend away.
Except that now his assistant had asked Liz to housesit for him, just to feed his cats and water his plants, and she had no good reason to say no so she didn't. Which then brought her here, in the break room, begging you to cover for her.
'Why didn't you just say no?' you asked
'I panicked! I didn't want him to suspect anything so I just went along with it. Could you please do it for me? Please?'
You wanted to help her. You really did, but the thought of leaving Sy alone for an entire weekend when he still wasn't fully healed made your stomach twist
"Oh Liz...I don't...I mean...Sy is still not..."
"You can take him with you!" she quickly spat, "Think of it as a little weekend away together. Doesn't that sound fun?"
'We're not a couple, Liz!" you blushed
"Oh please you're basically married." she shushed, "Come on, you don't have to stay all weekend just check his mail, water his plants and feed his cats, that's all! Besides, his house is gorgeous, and it has an indoor pool! Didn't the doctor say swimming was good exercise?"
"I guess he did yeah..." you mumbled, "ugh, fine! But you owe me!"
"oh, you're the best!" she squealed, jumping up and down before giving you a bone-crushing hug.
"You better bring me back some ridiculously expensive gift" you joked as you tried to contain your own smile, secretly excited about your weekend with Sy.
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'So we have to spend the weekend in some rich snob's house because he wants to fuck his employee overseas?"
"Hey! She's my friend and they are in love!" you shot back
"Oh, I'm sure they are..." he mumbled, rolling his eyes, "I would be too if I got free trips to Paris"
"Don't be such a grump, Sy"
"What about Aika? We can't just leave her all weekend?"
"Your mom is picking her up this afternoon." you simply said
"My mo-...You spoke to my mother?"
"Yeah, she's been asking to see Aika for weeks! She sends her love by the way."
Sy silently thanked the lord for making this a regular phone call and not one of those Facetime situations because he wasn't in the mood to explain why his cheeks grew red at the thought of you being friendly with his mom.
"Right..." he grumbled.
"So you're in then? The doctor did say you needed exercise, Sy. You can't just stay cooped up in the apartment. It'll be fun!" you tried to convince him.
"Alright alright, fine, I'm in"
"Yay! Pack a weekend bag, I'll pick you up after work." you told him, "Oh, and don't forget your swim shorts!"
"My what?!" Sy asked, but you had already hung up the phone, leaving him in regret already
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"Holy fucking shit"
Sy's deep voice boomed through the desolate entrance hallway of the Kent Residence.
"Normally I'd tell you to watch your mouth but...damn," you added, staring at the crystal chandelier hanging from the exceptionally high ceiling.
"Hey, check this out!" Sy called from the living room.
You were so wrapped up in your surroundings, that you hadn't even noticed he wasn't standing next to you anymore.
"May I please remind you that this is my boss's place? You can't just go around and touch every- HOLY FUCK THAT'S BIG"
You found Sy with a remote in his hand, standing in front of what was probably the biggest television you had ever seen in your entire life. I mean, it genuinely bordered on a home cinema. It was ginormous.
"You know Sugar, usually when I hear a woman say something like it it's not about a TV," he grinned, making you blush before you hit him with a pillow, hoping he wouldn't notice.
"You're an idiot," you claimed, trying not to laugh but miserably failing.
"You love it," he grinned again, making you roll your eyes.
"Whatever Syverson, I'm gonna go check out the rooms."
"Hold on, I'm coming with you before you snatch the best one."
Sy was hot on your heels as you rounded the corner. His massive chest colliding with your back when you came to a sudden stop.
“Holy. Shit.”
You stared in awe at what was the most gorgeous indoor pool you had ever seen in your entire life (well in all honesty, it was the only indoor pool you had ever seen in real life)
There were floor to ceiling windows and rows of luxurious pool chairs on each side.
“Damn, does this guy crap money?”
Sy’s rough baritone snapped you out of your astonishment, earning him yet another (playful) eye-roll
You and Sy snooped wandered around the mansion for good 20 minutes before you even got to the upstairs area. There was a long hallway leading up to beautiful French doors.
"That's probably the master bedroom, right?", you questioned, motioning towards the doors.
"Probably", he mumbled, "let's go check it out."
"No wait! We shouldn't...", you grabbed his arm, "It's not nice to snoop."
"Oh please, what have we been doing for the past half hour?", he chuckled, "Won't hurt to look, right?"
"Alright fine...just in and out, no unnecessary touching."
"Funny, that's exactly what my last hook-up said."
Sy whistled behind you as the bedroom was revealed.
"Sweet baby Jesus...." you mumbled, eyes wide as you took in the gorgeous interior.
Everything looked luxurious and expensive. Panel pair curtains matched the shades of the bedsheets and the accent wall. There were fresh flowers on what looked like a pure sandalwood dresser with golden details. Everything was perfect.
"I call dibs," Sy announced, making you snap your head at him.
"Like hell! I'm the one who got us here,"
"Correction, you are the one who forced us to come here, so it would only be fair if I got the master bedroom. As a reward for coming with you," he explained, crossing his arms.
"You're joking, right? What happened to 'Don't ya worry Sugah, I'm a real Southern gentleman!'" you imitated in a thick Southern accent.
"Hey, I do not sound like that!" he pointed his finger at you and you couldn't help but giggle.
"Settle down, cowboy. I'll check the other rooms." The truth is, yeah, that master bedroom was gorgeous, but you cared about Sy and he was still hurt, so if he wanted the master bedroom, you'd gladly let him have it.
You marched toward the closest room, ready to be stunned again. But when you tried the door, you couldn't get it open. You tried the handle again, rumbling the door a little.
"Locked?" Sy questioned.
"Maybe it's a home office, there might be private papers and stuff."
"Or a sex dungeon,"
"You are sick, Syverson. Really fucking sick."
He chuckled at that and you quickly turned around again, partly to try the next door, partly to hide the smile he had managed to put on your face.
"What the...it's locked again. Could you try that one?"
You and Sy tried every single door that could possibly be a bedroom, only to find them all locked. It was getting kinda ridiculous at this point, so you decided to text Liz.
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"Sneaky bitch..." you mumbled as you stared at your phone screen.
"So?" Sy asked, "what did she say?"
"She uhm,...the key isn't here, he forgot."
"He forgot?" he frowned
"Apparently..." you looked around awkwardly.
Liz was so fucking dead when she got back from her stupid Paris trip.
“Guess we’re bunking together then, roomie” Sy grinned, but when he saw you awkwardly shuffling around and stare at your feet instead of grinning back at him, he nudged your shoulder “hey, I’m kidding, I can sleep on one of the pool chairs or something it’ll be fine”
“Sy, don’t be ridiculous I’m not letting you sleep on a pool chair”
“What? I’ve slept on worse, come to think of it, its kinda look our cots back on base, it’ll feel just like home”
“Base is home?” You said it without even thinking, the words tumbled over your lips before you could stop them and you couldn’t help but pair them with a slightly saddened expression.
“I didn’t mean it like that…”
“I mean I kinda get that, I can imagine it grows on you”, you felt like you were treading dangerous territory, but so was he. He knew you worked so hard to make your place a home, he truly didn’t mean to-
“Wanna go for a swim?” You interrupted his thought spiral
“I’d love to”
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You dipped your toes in the water, finding it perfectly heated.
You had gotten changed first, covering yourself in your fluffy bathrobe before heading for the pool and waiting for Sy there, while impatiently checking the temperature.
"How is it?"
Once again the deep bass of Sy's voice pulled you back to the present.
"It's perfect. I'm not surprised, to be honest, he probably has some fancy heating syste-euhm...", your voice trailed off when you saw Sy's beautifully beefy chest. His baggy swim trunks hung low on his hips and the hair from his chest trailed down all the way to-
"Sugar?"
"P-perfect", you babbled, "UH- the water! It's perfect...nice and warm"
He threw his signature grin your way and you swore you felt your knees buckle. That grin was almost too much to handle on a regular day. The grin + him shirtless + THE SNAIL TRAIL???? Yeah you didn't stand a chance.
"You gonna swim with the robe on, Sugar?"
"Jeez, Captain if you wanted me to strip that bad all you had to do was ask"
Alright, you may have sounded confident, but this was all fake it till you make it.
Sy jumped in the water to hide his grin, nearly splashing you in the process.
You threw your robe on one of the pool chairs and your eyes found his right as he resurfaced. He took you in, you could tell. For a second you had the urge to cover yourself up, hiding the parts your black bikini failed to cover, but you opted against it, desperately trying to keep the confident act up.
It was quiet for a second or two while you just looked at each other.
"Perfect...", his voice was barely above a whisper, "The uh..., the water. You were right, the temperature is perfect."
You couldn't help but smile as you realized he was just as nervous as you were. Finally, you fully got in the pool too, relaxing a bit as the warm water surrounded you.
"I could get used to this", you sighed.
"We could put a kiddy pool in our living room If that makes ya feel better?"
You snorted at that, "Yeah, and then have Aika jump in and our entire place smelling like wet dog? No thanks, that kinda takes away the whole relaxing aspect in my opinion"
"Oh alright, Miss Fancy", he splashed some water your way.
"Fuck SY! I wasn't gonna wet my hair!" you shrieked.
"What kinda bullshit is that? Why would you get in the pool if you didn't wanna wet your hair?", his eyebrows furrowed, "too late now anyway, Sugar" he chuckled, splashing you again, right in your eyes this time.
"Ah, shit!" your hands flew to your face as you frantically rubbed your eyes as you turned away from him to shield yourself.
"Shit! Sorry, Sugar, u okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine you fucking idiot", realization didn't hit you until you saw the black streaks on your palms, "Fuck, I was wearing makeup", you mumbled.
Alright. You knew it was ridiculous, wearing makeup to the pool. But it wasn't a lot or anything, just some mascara and a little bit of concealer here and there. You weren't even planning on it, honest to god. But when you thought about Sy seeing you in a bikini for the first time you couldn't help but feel a bit insecure, so you needed something to bump your confidence, just a little bit.
You should have known boys will always be boys. And there's no keeping it dry when Sy is around anyway.
"Sugar? You can turn back around now, I promise no more splashing",
Ugh fuck fuck fuck...You still had your back to him. You couldn't turn around now, you probably looked like a panda. And you didn't want him to know you wore makeup to the pool, he would never stop laughing at you.
"I uh...I think I'm gonna get out...I'm getting kinda cold", you tried to keep your face away from him as you made your way to the ladder, but as per usual, he was too quick for you.
"What? The pool is heated, besides, I can keep ya warm. I swear I'm sorry Sugar, c'mon don't leave?", you felt his big hands circle your waist under the water, pulling your floating body closer to him in a matter of seconds. Your back hit his warm fuzzy chest and you stiffled a moan.
Okay, he wasn't gonna let you leave, new plan...
You desperately wiped under your eyes, hoping to god he wouldn't see.
"Wh-are you...are you crying?", he sounded genuinely concerned, "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to Sugar I promise, lemme see", he carefully turned you around in his arms
"No no, Sy you didn't hurt me, I'm not crying I just..." your eyes met his and for a second he looked even more confused, "Why do you look like Batman?", he grinned.
"Ugghhhh..." you groaned in embarrassment, "I just...I just tried out a new mascara this morning and I forgot I had it on...I have makeup wiped in my bag upstairs just lemme go take it off", you rambled trying to get out of his grip but he didn't budge.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Sugar, just do that later."
"Sy, I'm not being ridiculous I LOOK ridiculous, just let me go fix it I'll be back in a minute."
You tried leaving again, but this time his big paws grabbed you by the face, gently but still firm.
"You don't look ridiculous, Sugar...C'mere..."
For a second you thought he was going to kiss you and your eyes fell shut, but instead, you felt his thumbs wipe away the dark streaks.
"There ya go...all better", he smirked. "No more Batman."
"Ugh, shut up", now it was your turn to splash him.
"Oh don't start what you can't finish, dear." his devilish smirk was enough to make you squeal as you backed up.
"No, Sy come on! My hair!", you swam as fast as you could, and just when you thought you could get away, you felt a hand wrap around your ankle.
"Oh no ya don't", he pulled you back to him within seconds, and just like that...your hair wasn't the only thing getting wet against your will...
"I think your face could use another wash," was all he said before pushing your shoulders down under the water, you came back up immediately gasping for air.
"I can't believe you did that!" you sputtered as he just stood there laughing. You didn't even think before jumping on his back, trying to push him down. Looking back that may have been a dumb idea because the captain didn't budge. If anything, it just made him laugh harder. "Aww, isn't that cute? Well, Sugar if I'm going down, I'm taking you with me..."
"No, Sy", you felt his arms tighten around your legs, "no no no no no n-" he dove underwater, keeping his promise and indeed taking you with him.
"T-truce" you breathed out the second you got up for air, "truce truce truce!", you were out of breath, probably looking like a drowned panda bear and the chlorine mixed with your leftover mascara was stinging in your eyes, "fucking hell, this was not as relaxing as I had in mind", you muttered to yourself.
Sy chuckled, obviously he was looking handsome as ever while you felt like you looked like you were just spit out by something.
"C'mere...truce accepted," he gently pulled you against him again, his fingertips trailing down your sides to your thighs, 'up', he commanded and you unsurely wrapped your legs around his waist, letting him guide you. "there ya go, good girl."
You felt your cheeks heat up and told yourself it was just from his body heat.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and snuggled into the crook of his neck while he slowly floated the both of you through the warm water. A wave of exhaustion suddenly came over you. You were too tired and comfortable to overthink what exactly was happening.
_____________________________________________________________
"Hey Sugar..."
"Hmmm?"
"I really think we just get out now..."
It took you a while to realize you were still in the pool, still in Sy's arms.
"Hm fuck...did I...did I fall asleep?"
"Only a little"
"How long was I out?"
"A good 20 minutes, never seen ya shut up for that long, had to check if you were still breathing"
You wanted to make a snarky comment but all you could muster was a grin before finally peeling yourself off of him and getting out of the water.
"Im starving," Sy said as he reached for his towel.
"Yeah, me too. Do you wanna order pizza? I'm too scared to touch anything in that kitchen"
"Sounds good, probably for the best anyway, don't need ya setting the place on fire"
You threw one of your towels at his face, "Shut it, Syverson. I'm showering first and if I were you i'd be nice to me cause I won't hesitate to use up all the hot water."
"S'fine, Sugar. I'm a military man. Nothing I can't handle", he grinned and watched you turn around with a smirk on your face.
"I could probably do with a cold shower anyway..." he muttered to himself as he watched you walk away, thanking all that was good and pure for not letting you notice the massive hard-on he was hiding while you were snoozing in his arms.
"You order, I shower", you yelled back, "I'll take pepperoni, Cap!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
45 minutes later you and Sy sat on the massive suede couch, freshly showered, clad in fluffy white bathrobes, and munching on pizza.
"That's such bullshit!" you laughed
"Is not! I swear to you, Sugar! He just stood there in nothing but a thong. Traumatized the entire squad."
"Where the hell did he get a thong in the middle of the desert?!"
"Fuck do I know?! He musta brought it with him?"
You were dying laughing, like actually proper laughing. Tears nearly in your eyes, face red hot, snorting out laughing.
"Sy, there is no way one of your men walked around on base in the middle of the night in nothing but a thong."
"Sugar, I swear to ya, I'm a lot'a things, but a liar ain't one of 'em."
"So what did you do?"
"Sent the fucker home."
"Maybe that was his plan all along? Maybe he just wanted to get sent home?"
"Maybe, Sugar. Maybe." he took another swig of his beer as you chomped down the last bite of your pizza and a comfortable silence settled over you.
"I think I should probably head to bed, I'm exhausted."
"Yeah, me too", he agreed, "I'll just take some things out'a the room and then I'll be good to sleep here."
"Sy, please, don't be silly", you argued, "I was drooling on your shoulder barely an hour ago, I'm sure we can share a bed for one night."
He chuckled at that, "Alright I guess you got a point there, but only if you're sure."
"Yeah, I'm sure genius, but no funny business", you pointed your finger at him.
"Yes ma'am, Roger that", he smirked.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror.
Skincare done, teeth brushed, hair blow dried, perfume sprayed, pajamas on.
Alright, okay. There's only so much you can do to get ready for bed.
"You're gonna have to go out there sooner or later" you spoke softly to your own reflection.
Jesus Christ this was ridiculous. This was YOUR idea. It's just sleeping. You did it before. Earlier tonight, in fact. Just get out there, get in the bed, close your eyes, and go to sleep. Nothing special.
Maybe that was the problem. Maybe you wanted it to be special. What if he didn't? Oh god, what if he DID?
You took a deep breath and finally opened the door.
"Sorry I took so long, I couldn't find my night cre-...Sy?"
There he was. Bulging shoulders on full display, the muscles on his back moving with each breath, the waistband of his boxers peeking out just above where the sheets covered his butt.
His bearded face snuggled into his pillow, his large arms curling underneath it.
You couldn't help but smile as you looked down at him. The true definition of a gentle giant. It was beyond you how someone could look so fucking sexy and so fucking cute at the same time.
You finally crawled into bed next to him, careful not to wake him up. But as you turned over on your side to turn your nightlight off, you suddenly his beefy arm snaked its way around you and pulled you close to him.
You barely managed to flip the switch before feeling his warm chest against your back again. His beard tickled the back of your neck a little making you grin, soft snores telling you he was still fast asleep..
It felt so good, so safe, so warm, so comfortable...you dozed off with a smile on your face, and not a care in the world...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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crownmemes · 4 months ago
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Advice; Everyone Should Be Making the First Move
There's been a trend within the rpc here for years now where nobody is willing to make the first move. The problem with this is that if nobody ever makes the first move, then nobody is ever going to write anything. Considering that, everybody should be making an effort to be the first one to reach out to their writing partners more often.
Examples of making the first move:
Sending an IM to say hi, then suggesting a plot
Sending a meme to start a new thread
Responding to starter calls and open starters
All of this is just as valid for old partners as it is for new. If you haven't written with someone in a while, maybe it's time to reach out to start a new thread?
The most common reason I see for people not making the first move is social anxiety. I'm going to give you all a bit of tough love here: speaking as somebody who once had crippling social anxiety (and still does in irl settings), the best way to overcome it is to push yourself to try the things that make you anxious.
Communicating with people is a really important part of rp because it's not a solo hobby, therefore you are going to have to talk to people at some point. It's unavoidable. Here are a few reminders to help you feel a little less nervous:
If somebody follows back, they're doing it because they're interested in writing with you. They are not going to be upset if you send them an IM with plot ideas
Most people are friendly! In 12 years of rping on this site, I can count on one hand the number of people who I've talked to that were actively rude to me
It's okay if someone says no to you! People have different styles and not all of them will work together. If someone says no, say thank you for the consideration, then move on. There are more people to write with out there
If somebody is nasty to you, you can block them. Don't be afraid to do this; you don't have to explain yourself, and you wouldn't want to write with someone who's rude to you anyway
If you're not sure what to say, I usually go with a version of "Hello! Thank you for following/following back! I've looked through your rules and about pages. Would you be interested in plotting something for X and my character, Y? I have an idea already, if you would like to hear?"
Don't just say "Hi!". Cut to the chase and tell them why you're messaging so they immediately know what the conversation is about
Reasons why it's good to message first:
You look actively interested in writing. This is a huge boost in your favour when it comes to asking to write with someone
It makes it a lot easier to get new interactions
It makes you appear more active
If you're a new blog, you won't have a lot of examples of your writing on your blog yet. People will be more willing to give you a chance if you approach them first
If you don't message first, you are likely to be waiting a long time before somebody messages you
It's easier to make friends if you have an active conversation!
Some other thoughts on messaging first:
You have followed the person because you are interested in writing with them. Think about why you are interested, and suggest this as a plot idea
Make sure you read through the rules still. It's very obvious when you haven't. Also, look through the muses on offer so you can suggest which you'd like to write with
If the rules say they're not mutuals only, or that you're welcome to IM to introduce yourself if you want to plot, don't be afraid to message. They wouldn't have put that in their rules if they didn't mean it
If someone is reblogging memes, it's because they want to write responses to them. Send them in! If they didn't want them sent in, they wouldn't have reblogged the meme
IMing to plot is often a better idea than liking a starter call or sending memes if you have never interacted with the person before. It gives you a chance to work out what kind of thread would work well before you start something, so the resulting thread has a lower chance of fizzling out quickly
However, all that being said, it's not just up to the person messaging first to make all the effort. If the receiver doesn't put any effort in in return, then the person making the first move is going to think they aren't interested. Eventually, they may give up messaging people at all, because what's the point if it never goes anywhere? Some tips for not seeming uninterested:
If someone IMs you, try to reply to them in a timely fashion. Especially try to reply to them if they sent you a plot idea. You don't have to agree to do the idea - it's just very annoying to be ghosted the second you actually start plotting
Suggest your own plot ideas in return, or build on the idea that the other person has given you
If you agree to write a starter, or one is written for you, follow through with it. Write the starter, reply to the thread. If it's going to take a while, let your writing partner know that you've seen it but you're going to be slow for a while
Similarly, if you post memes, reply to the ones people send you. If you never reply, people will pick up on this and eventually stop sending you things
If you go on hiatus, message your writing partners directly when you get back to let them know you'd like to write again. This will demonstrate that you really are active and ready to write again
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taeyongdoyoung · 1 month ago
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act three: i might kill my ex
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summary: unable to sleep, you try to think of something that will finally free you from the demons of your past... characters: reader, heeseung, sunoo, sunghoon, jay, jake, jungwon (mentioned only) genre: thriller, dark romance(-ish) warnings: insomnia, trauma, prison visit, allusions to prison violence, threats, nightmares, guns, tattoos, illegal activities, breaking in, manipulation, toxic ex, cops, blood, murder (?), suicide (?), songs+scream movie references author's note: hello everyone! the title is inspired by the scream movies and this awesome song, once again this can be triggering for some so read at your own discretion! 💙 also, this is the final part of my scream trilogy, check out the other parts if you're interested: part one & part two word count: 3k
Another sleepless night. Even though Sunoo is in prison and you now live with Heeseung as his place is better protected from breaking and entering, the mere thought of Sunghoon roaming around freely is enough to make every second of your existence a living hell. You wish the cops would take your testimony more seriously but the lack of fingerprints works magically in his favour.
You feel like a burden to your boyfriend. You follow him around like a lovesick puppy everywhere - to his work, to the gym, to the supermarket. You don't dare leave his side for fear that the second you do, something bad will happen and Sunghoon will be back and take you again. You hate being like this. You ask Heeseung multiple times if he's really okay with you being clingy and he patiently answers each time that your well-being is the most important to him and that he seriously doesn't mind you being around him all the time.
But you do. So you try to take baby steps. The first one being something you've been planning to do for a while. And finally gathered the courage to do. Visit Sunoo in prison.
"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Heeseung asks cautiously, gripping your hands.
"I can do it. There will be guards and cameras and stuff, I will be safe," you promise.
"No, I'm aware you'll be physically safe but are you sure you're ready for this? I'm talking about the mental aspects of it..."
You nod, thinking about how lucky you are to have such a considerate, warm boyfriend.
"I think I'm ready. I don't wanna be your shadow all the time. I gotta learn how to be my own person again. I figured this was a good a place to start as any."
"You're very ambitious, but okay. You know I love it that you're next to me, right? I feel safer myself when I can see you," Heeseung murmurs reassuringly.
"I know, I know," you repeat, giving him a hug. "But I gotta do this for myself."
"I trust you," your sweet boyfriend replies.
This. This is why Heeseung will always be your choice. The fact he sticks by your side and trusts you unconditionally is something Sunghoon could never achieve.
When the hours for visitation arrive, you are all nerves. Gone is the confident you that was sooo sure she could do this by herself. But you have to be stronger. So, you face your former best friend.
"Hi, Sunnie," you greet him calmly.
"N-noona, you c-came to see me," Sunoo's eyes are watery with emotion and he looks a little battered. Oh God. You don't want to imagine how hard prison life is on him. He looks so pitiful and small. But then, you remind yourself of the reality. He betrayed you and helped Sunghoon kidnap you. He's just facing the consequences for his own actions. But still...You can't help but feel a surge of sympathy for him.
"Of course I came. You're my best friend, right?"
"I don't deserve to be your best friend," Sunoo shakes his head. Good. At least he's aware of it.
"You're right, you don't," you say coldly. "And I might be an idiot but I still don't. So I'll give you an offer. Ask for a retrial, tell the truth about Sunghoon, tell them he forced you to help him and you'll get a lower sentence. From five to three years. And I'll consider forgiving you."
"I can't do that, Y/Nnie," Sunoo shakes his head.
"He will never love you. I know it, you know it, we all know it."
"It's not about that anymore. If I tell on him, he's gonna kill me," Sunoo whispers, terrified.
"Did he threaten you?"
Sunoo nods, looking around as if to make sure no one else saw or heard.
"Fucking hell, Sunoo, then all the more reason for you to testify against him! So the cops will take action and capture him."
"Easy for you to say. He could send money to some of the prisoners and I could end up dying in here."
"Well, you might die in here but I might die out there, have you ever thought about that?" you exclaim angrily.
"He won't kill you."
"You can't know that," you strongly disagree. "Just think about it, okay? You might be saving two lives by telling the truth."
Sunoo sighs deeply.
"I'll sleep on it, alright. How have you been, though?"
"Oh, suddenly he cares! I'm holding up, I guess. I can't exactly erase the traumatic memories of being kidnapped by my best friend and my ex."
"I'm sorry. I mean it," Sunoo says sincerely. And maybe he really does mean it.
Because three days later you receive a call from the police that Sunoo has asked for a retrial and he testified against Sunghoon, telling the whole truth. Even with no fingerprints, his statement, along with yours, holds more power now. And the police will start investigating further and looking for Sunghoon. That's some progress, at least.
But it's not enough. You still have a hard time falling asleep. 2-3 hours per night tops. And whenever you do sleep, you are haunted by terrifying nightmares and traumatic memories. It can't go on like this. You need something more. Something to help you feel safe.
"I need to ask you for a huge favour," you talk to Heeseung one afternoon.
"Oh?"
"It's illegal," you mention the seriousness of it.
"OH?" Heeseung is in shock.
"I need you to help me get a gun."
"Babe, what? You're not gonna do anything stupid, right?"
"Stupid is my middle name. No, but seriously. I just think I'll feel safer if I have it. For like...potential self-defense. If you know who manages to get to me. If I happen to be alone."
Heeseung shakes his head fearfully.
"I don't want to leave you alone," he insists.
"You're not my babysitter, Hee. Sooner or later, it'll happen. And I just wanna be prepared. A precaution, nothing more. I'm not planning to actively look for him," the way you say the last word is full of bitterness and anger. "But if he comes, I'll be ready."
"Okay, um," Heeseung replies reluctantly. "I have this American friend. His name's Jay, he's a total sweetheart but he might be able to hook you up with a gun. You know, just for self-defense purposes."
"Sounds perfect. Thanks so much, Hee," you squeeze his hand, already looking forward to it. Maybe that will help you sleep better at night.
You meet Heeseung's friend Jay at a lowkey shady looking place that is a tattoo parlour. Jay himself has lots of tattoos of eagles and ravens and cats. Damn, you might consider getting a tattoo yourself one day. If you survive this shithole that has been the past few months.
"Nice to meet you," you shake his hand.
"Likewise," Jay responds firmly. "Heeseung talks about you like all the time."
"That's weird 'cause I only found out about you recently," you reply, honest to a fault.
"Ouch. I don't blame him, though. If my girlfriend was so beautiful, I wouldn't want her to meet any of my friends," Jay jokes.
"I'm flattered but uh-"
"Relax, sweetheart. I have a boyfriend. And even if I didn't, you're not my type."
"Point taken," you shake your head in amusement. "So, I can get the story behind the eagles but what's with the cats?" you ask curiously, pointing at his tattoos.
"They're meant to represent my love for my cat-like boyfriend Jungwon. He's a real cutie. I feel like you two would really get along. We should go on a double date sometime!"
"That's kinda weird but in an adorable way," you chuckle. "And I'm game for the double date thing."
"So, let's get down to business."
"To defeat the Huns?" you finish the thought.
Jay eyes you strangely. Okay, not a Mulan fan but has tons of cat tattoos. You can get past that.
"Hee told me you want a gun?"
"Um, yeah. As a precaution. For potential self-defense against my shitty ex who kidnapped me."
"Do you have any preference in mind? In terms of weight or design?"
"I don't know anything about that. Whatever you recommend is good. Just something that will help me sleep comfortably, I guess."
"I have a couple of options, I'll let you try them out. There's also a shooting range underneath the tattoo parlour. I'll show you a couple of tricks, just in case."
"That sounds amazing," you reply enthusiastically. "It's more than I could ask for. Seriously, thanks!"
"Anything for my friend's girlfriend," Jay shrugs as if it's not a big deal.
After trying out a couple of guns and Jay showing you the ropes of shooting, you feel more confident and pick the weapon that speaks to you the most.
"This one," you whisper, enthralled by how light and yet powerful it feels.
"Good choice," Jay hums approvingly. "Well, I hope this whole situation ends for you soon and stay safe."
"Thank you for everything."
"Don't forget about that double date!"
"I won't," you promise and you hope that happy day comes sooner rather than never.
Time passes and there is no trace of Sunghoon. As if he was a ghost you imagined. But you know better. You know he's out there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right opportunity to strike. Let him come. You're ready now.
Heeseung receives an amazing job opportunity that would entail him going abroad for one week. You encourage him to take it. He's really worried about leaving you alone. But you know you can handle this.
"Are you sure?"
"Yep, I'll be fine, don't worry."
"What will you do if something bad happens?"
"I'll call you or your cop friend Jake or your lowkey sus friend Jay."
"Good girl," Heeseung praises you and kisses you gently. "And if your phone isn't nearby for some reason?"
"I'll use the gun only in self-defense."
"Right. Um, I love you, baby," Heeseung hugs you tightly.
"Love you too, Hee."
"Be back soon," he promises.
"You better," you smile.
Night comes and you are more uneasy than ever. You have been sleeping better lately with Heeseung by your side and the gun under your pillow. What has become of your life?
You make peace with the fact you probably won't get much sleep during the following week. It's okay. You'll get to sleep forever one day. But not today, Satan.
And then, speak of the devil, you hear it. A sound you know all too well. A door being attacked. But this time, he doesn't have a key. And uses something that is perhaps a bobby pin. He is slower. And you are fast. Your right hand is on your gun in no time and your left hand is on your phone. It might not even be him, but you don't care. Heeseung must be on the plane right now since he doesn't pick up so you call his cop friend Jake.
"Hi, Y/N, is everything okay?" he picks up immediately.
"Hi, Jake, someone is trying to enter Heeseung's place right now. I mean...our place."
"Oh my God, I'll assemble a squad and we're on our way! Don't do anything stupid!" Jake advises you. Heeseung might have told him you own a gun now. Oh well. You know Heeseung trusts Jake so you probably won't get in trouble with the police.
"I'll try," you chuckle and hang up. You send a quick text to Jay, informing him of the circumstances and just as you hit send, the door clicks.
He's in.
"Hi, princess," Sunghoon greets you. Oh, he looks so angry he hasn't seen you in ages. Good. Anger is good.
"Stay back," you warn him warily, pointing the gun at him.
"Aw, you're not happy to see me?" Sunghoon pouts in disappointment.
"You look like shit, Sunghoon," you hiss.
"Gee, thanks. You're as beautiful as ever," he compliments you.
"I know," you say even though you don't feel beautiful. You have dark circles under your eyes, your hair is greying from all the stress and your mental health has never been worse. But you're still here, fighting against all odds.
"Come back to me, Y/N," Sunghoon begs, straight to the point.
"Never," you shake your head with determination, tears clouding your vision. Fuck, you hate that you still get so emotional when facing him. It's a weakness that might be your downfall. But you won't let it.
"Were you pretending when you said you can learn to love me again?"
"I could never love you," you admit honestly. "And neither can you."
"N-no, that's not true," Sunghoon argues. "Just come with me, please. No one has to get hurt. Not Heeseung, not Sunoo. Just us two and everyone you care about will be safe."
Heeseung's on a plane right now. Sunoo's in prison. As much as your heart is telling you that Sunghoon could really hurt them, your mind is aware that he no longer has any power. The power is in your hands right now. Jake and the cops are on their way. But they'll be too slow.
"Well, that's too bad, 'cause I only ever cared about myself," you smirk coldly.
"You don't. You're full of love and light and warmth," Sunghoon insists blindly.
"Not anymore. You took them from me. I'd ask you to give them back but I don't think you can," you say openly. You don't even believe half of what you're saying. But that doesn't matter. You just have to make him believe it.
Sunghoon pulls out his own gun, pointing it at you. A mirror image. Did you make him worse? Or did he make you worse? You don't know. And you no longer care.
"Well, if I can't have you, no one will," Sunghoon glares at you.
"Not in my movie!" you scream.
You genuinely cannot tell who fires the gun first.
You can only hope it's you.
The End
author's note: if you like open endings, you may stop reading here. if you don't like them and are not satisfied with the uncertainty, keep reading for three possible endings i have in my head 🖤
Ending One: I hope you die first
Your whole body is shaking and your hands are covered in blood.
It's over. Sunghoon's dead. You really killed him. You can't believe it.
As you hear the police sirens surrounding you, you suddenly feel dizzy.
When the time for a trial comes, the court rules it was in self-defense. Considering how Sunghoon stalked and kidnapped you, the law is lenient towards you and you get away with a fine for owning an illegal gun. Well, having a cop friend also helps.
You spend the rest of your days surrounded by people you care about. Heeseung is always by your side, supporting you through everything. You can't imagine making it this far without him. And Sunoo serves his three years in prison. Once he's out of jail, he makes it his mission to make you forgive him. Slowly, he creeps back into your life. And you let him. Somehow time has eased the hurt from the betrayal.
There are happy moments, there are sad moments and then there are the moments when you just feel empty.
But the guilt and pain stay with you. Your forever companions. Sure, you are free from Sunghoon. But you can never be free from yourself.
Ending Two: I See Red
Sunghoon drops on his knees the moment he realizes what he's done. Fuck. You're gone. He killed you. The one and only being he truly loved. Or deluded himself into thinking he loves you. Perhaps you were right. Perhaps he wasn't even capable of it.
With no reason left to go on, he points the gun at himself, pulling the trigger. Maybe in another life, he'll do better. Maybe you'll meet again.
The cops and Jake at the crime scene they're immediately struck by the sight of the two bodies. Sunghoon's hand is reaching towards yours but your face is turned to the other direction. Even in death, you don't want to look at him. Alas, they came too late.
When Heeseung learns of your death, he is completely devastated and heartbroken. Miles and miles away, he cannot even get to your funeral on time. At first, he contemplates doing what your ex did to himself. But he knows you wouldn't want that from him.
So, he spends the rest of his life trying to help victims of abuse or kidnappings, aiding the police whatever way he can and organizing therapy sessions. It's not much, but he'd like to believe he's making a difference.
As time passes, the pain is still there, but diminishes in magnitude. Heeseung eventually finds comfort and love in the arms of his friend Jake. But a part of his heart stays there with you, in that cursed night.
Ending Three: Scream cause we wanna go faster
Both guns fire at roughly the same time. Both you and Sunghoon apparently suck at aiming them. You manage to injure each other, but nothing lethal. Seconds later, the police arrive, apprehending Sunghoon. The medics show up soon after and take care of you.
Sunghoon gets a life sentence for stalking, kidnapping and attempted murder. You don't visit him. Not even once. You don't want to see him, not even to gloat. That chapter of your book is over. Your only wish is to put it behind you for good.
Heeseung finds out about what happened right as his plane lands and he wants to return as soon as possible but you tell him to finish his work and then come back to you. Now, you will have all the time in the world.
"Welcome back, Hee," you greet him at the airport once he returns.
"My God, darling, I'm so glad you're okay," your boyfriend hugs you tightly, not wanting to let go ever again.
"Of course, I'm okay. I promised Jay we'd go on a double date with him and Jungwon, didn't I? And I always keep my promises," you tease.
"Damn right, you do," Heeseung laughs. "But seriously, just thinking about what might have happened, I feel sick."
"Well, let's just be glad it didn't," you kiss him deeply.
In another universe, maybe you're dead. In a different world, maybe Sunghoon died.
But this is your world. Your movie. And you just pressed play.
The End (for real this time)
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biasbuck · 1 month ago
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BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fraturdays
Happy weekend everyone! So many loose ends tied up....except *eyes* oh I'm loving the season so far. Back with more fic that I've read and loved this week, with a mix of short one shots and longer stories. As always you can find previous rec lists here. Some light spoilers for the season.
19 October 2024
I did think, let’s go about this slowly by @pelorsdyke is a short and insightful peek into Karen's mindset at the start of hers and Hen's relationship, as she overcomes her own fears of adhering to stereotype and committing too hard and too fast. But she finds a way to balance her heart's wants with her mind's eye, and find a intimacy she can build on along the way.
I didn't know (that it could be good) by @rainbow-nerdss 'Eddie lets himself into Buck's apartment unannounced, and finds him in a compromising position. That should be nothing, just something to laugh about down the line, except afterwards, it's like a switch has flipped, and neither of them can get it out of their minds. The solution? They need to get it out of their systems.' Best friends that secretly hook up and don't question it because it feels good and that's their favourite person and nothing has to change right? trope my beloved. God this fic is absolutely swoonworthy, and I'm still giving it hearteyes for days. Do yourself a favour and read it right now.
please, please, please by @bookinit02 'So, a widower walks into a bar, and he hasn’t been held by someone he loves in years.' A touch starved Eddie starving for Buck's touch in particular! In which Buck subconsciously stops casually touching Eddie after he comes out, and Eddie notices and is not happy about it. Circa S7/S8, they soon set out to resolve the issue. Such a great exploration of a complicated yearning, and then I particularly loved their flirtatious bickering in this fic because it was so very very them and endearing as hell.
kerosene by @roguebuck is almost the flipside...a post 7x06 fic starting from the wedding, in which Buck isn't sure why 'nothing's going to change' unsettles him so much and why he can't get Eddie out of his head...even at the most inopportune times. But sometimes all it takes to make a change is for someone to pour the gas and light a match...and this fic sure does that!
the city is a jungle and i’m a beast by @putanauhere just in time for canon!werewolf Eddie, this is such a brilliant fic that really immersed me in the story, and was so well thought out to make the werewolf lore fit into 911verse smoothly. Eddie and his platoon were bit by a werewolf during his time in the army, and so as long as he's been with the 118 he's been keeping a secret. When a call to a magick shop goes awry, Buck's infodumping on the habits of wolves meets Eddie's reluctance to concede to superstition...but he's mostly desperate to hide. When Buck follows him to his safe house, things soon go awry, and together they must learn to live with the consequences. Perfect spooky season fic, and really emotional as well.
Any Other Way by @cal-daisies-and-briars I have been meaning to read this for weeks and am so glad I finally have! This is a fic where Eddie and Buck's lives take on each other's paths - an unattached and openly gay Eddie going on an aimless teenage wanderlust after his high school girlfriend left suddenly, and Buck signing up to the army to spite his parents. Then one day Eddie runs into Shannon at the grocery store...with a young boy at her side. This is a really wonderful fic about a lifechanging secret and stepping up to parenthood, overcoming fears and letting your guard down. I loved how despite the narrative switcheroo, their motivations remain true to themselves and their family at the core.
the sound of the saw (must be known by the tree) by @absolutelybifurious a fic inspired by the last episode of Grey's Anatomy I ever watched lmao. Eddie blames himself for Chris leaving, but Buck is frustrated that the time has stretched out so long, and is encouraging him to go get him. But Eddie doesn't want to hear it and they part on rocky ground with Eddie boarding a plane to El Paso for some wildfire training. When Buck receives a voicemail, the world shifts from under his feet, and the 118 race to save Eddie. This was passionate and angsty and the love sings off the page.
See you next week, trick or treat!!
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cozycottagetarot · 10 months ago
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What Do They Fantasize About You 18+
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How To Pick A Pile:
Everyone has their own technique for choosing a 'pile'. My recommendation is to clear your mind and focus on each image for a few seconds. The image you find yourself coming back to even when you focus on the other images is the pile for you.
Quick notes on this reading:
I'm experimenting with a different style. -- I've been working on shorter, less structured, formal pacs (and some longer ones). I'm not sure how I feel about it but I'd like to hear your thoughts too! It's 18+ but not explicit. -- I've always shied away from these kinds of readings because I didn't know how to make them authentic and within my comfort zone but I figured it out. It does involve sexual themes but it's not explicit (as in graphic or using strong language.) However, it is not intended for minors, so if your are a minor check out this one here instead.
It's purely for entertainment purposes. -- Don't think I need to explain more. Take what resonates be it all of it, some of it or none at all.
PILE 1 
Your person fantasizes of just watching you. Admiring your body, naked or clothed. Watching you enjoy the little luxuries of life. They might fantasize about you being better than them in a way. I'm not sure what's the correct way to phrase it. More like you're of a higher status than they are, and you giving them your attention is enough. You letting them touch you, not even in an inherently sexual way, is a bonus. They might feel like their status is elevated when they get to be in or on your arm/s. They could fantasize about you turning them on or pleasuring them in a coy manner... You know you’ve got it (it being looks, charm, them wrapped around your finger) and you tease them about it-- but it’s so subtle, so gentle, it dances on the fine line of being oblivious versus intentional. Star/Starlet vibes. They love everything about you, all parts of your body gets attention. They could love your hair, especially if it's of lighter hues, or has red undertones (even for brown hair because some brown hair has hints of more yellow while others are more red).
For some of you it maybe that you’re mildly intimidated by them in some format. Shying away from them in some manner so they give off that let me worship you energy to get you more comfortable with them. Another vibe I pick up on is learning to love something about yourself and being more comfortable in who you are and they’re your cheerleader unconditionally cheering you on. 
PILE 2
I feel like this is someone you had to warm up to. Their energy is one of being very doting, but the energy I’m reading for you is like "ugh, really?" When it comes to this person initially. It feels like someone who wants to reassure you (or wants you to reassure them), wants to make sure they are pleasing you in every and any way they can properly. This extends to outside of the bedroom. If you’ve got a craving, they’re off to get it before you can even think to bat your eyes. They’ve got eyes for no one but you. Heavy on the princess treatment. They may fantasize about taking control, but still in a gentle or compassionate way. They’re in charge but you’re still royalty for the day. They'd want to make sure you're comfortable and enjoying yourself (more than 'normal'). They may fantasize about having sexual encounters with you in places surrounded by nature. Not anywhere where you could be easily caught though. Fantasies of stealing you away from your responsibilities to have a moment with you. They may favour your chest. I'm also getting soft brushes of the skin with the occasional more forceful touch— how do I describe it? I've talked about this gentleness, but this is more like pulling you closer because they need you in your arms but it's a tad rougher than you'd expect. They could fantasize about light bondage as well. Getting you all dressed up and wining and dining you all while anticipating to take it off. 
Pile 3 
The energy here feels a little bit magical or unreal, like you two mirror each other greatly, or complement one another well. It's as though you two operate as a unit and less so two individuals trying to make something work together. I feel like that makes no sense but whatever. I very much get a "let's stay in and roll around in the sheets all day and night" vibe with this one... although it's more like any surface or room is fair game. This person may favour your behind over anything else. But it's very much a balance of both of you being in control. Very much in sync. There could be lots of taking turns or incorporating different sensory elements as well. An exploration of one another truly. Fantasizing about aftercare is another prominent possibility as well. Cuddling and pillow talk. There's also being spent after you two are through with each other. Or maybe it's a sense of relief and release. They may fantasize about you the most when they need to blow off steam, (they) just get lost in the thought of being with you. I actually repulled the cards (because there's always one pile) but a few of the same cards kept coming out and it was packed with major arcana. Justice, The Wheel, The Emperor AND The Empress. There’s also the Magician and while I'm not exactly reading the cards how I normally do, it feels like this relationship/connection isn’t ready yet. It's a feeling of something momentous that when it happens, you'll know. That's all I really pick up on there. They could fantasize about just staying in. Maybe both of you are under some kind of scrutiny respective to your social circles or careers. Leaders or innovators of some kind. Or maybe on a more general level, you’ve grown the resolve to not only wear your 'crown', that thing that makes you special, but own it too. A lot of abundant energy and energy of growth. They could really fantasize about shutting out the rest of the world with you. 
Pile 4 
This person seems so much in their feelings I don't know if to laugh, cringe, or cry for them. So much is going on in the cars, like an internal storm wreaking havoc on someone's life. There are undercurrents of them feeling or being selfish too? This person could be a traditionalist of sorts. It comes across as very possessive like they’re off their rocker worrying about you being into other people. BUT HEAR ME OUT! With my post-reading clarity, I think this person is a catastrophiser. So instead of 'hot fantasies' being at the forefront of their mind when thinking of you, anxiety, limiting beliefs or something else may get the best of them. It sounds absurd but if you've been there you know and if not then tell me your secret! Anyway, it could be long-distance relationship and that's the reason why. They may fantasize about being able to touch your body. They may like to play footsies. You could be very attractive and so they’re worried about losing you to someone else and it’s literally making them crazy. A third-party situation seems likely as well, real but most likely imagined. 
Because this isn't a psych analysis, I pulled more cards. Quickies and stolen moments are the vibe for this pile. Initially, I wrote something about it that just seems so wrong but again I think it's more of not allowing oneself to fantasize about good things happening. I could only keep describing it as if being in the mind of someone tormented. Fantasies of finding home within you but something lingering in the distance, never really enjoying one to fully enjoy the moment unless their eyes are closed. They could have fantasies of having influence over you... being able to convince you to stay. (more so if you two are together physically instead of having to separate in distance again). Fantasies of holding you tight. Wishing they could give themselves to you fully.
While I was reading a song that came to me was 'Lose You' by Sam Smith — word for word that song embodied a lot of the emotions and energy I was picking up.
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harringtonswriting · 2 years ago
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the one with the mutual pining | j.h.s.
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summary: it's always been fun to flirt with jake, though you'd never cross the line to take you from friends to something more because while he flirts back, does he really mean it? well, bradley bradshaw decides this is something they're gonna rectify, and it definitely ends in your favour pairing: jake 'hangman' seresin x fem!reader warning(s): language; references to alcohol word count: 4.2k notes: here is my very first attempt at writing tgm, and at writing hangman. this is all completely thanks to @katsu28 who has entertained all my tgm thoughts. this one's for you kait!! <3 also, there are a couple alternate endings for this one too 👀 if anyone wants to read them when they're finished or maybe have them turned into other fics, let me know!
...
Friday nights always seem to be the busiest nights at the Hard Deck. Or, well, they have been since you started working there.
It always seems to start getting packed not long after dinner time, usually by a good mix of civilians and members of the Navy who were stationed in Fightertown. A lot of them seemed to know Penny, especially the aviators. Penny had warned you about them when she gave you the bartending job; about their flashy smiles, their nicely styled yet somehow perpetually windswept looking hair, and all the trouble that comes with them. There’d been a fond smile on her face when she said that, so you were sure there was a story (or maybe many) behind her warnings.
It was on your very first Friday that you’d met Lieutenant Jake Seresin. Well, you’d actually met most of the Dagger Squad (which you’d been told was what they were called by Mickey after a few Fridays together), but it was Jake who stuck out to you the most. You’d be a liar if you said his sparkling green eyes and dimples weren’t attractive, and he absolutely had the confidence you’d expect from someone who flew million dollar planes for a living. The way he leant on the bartop, grinning at you as he ordered a beer and introduced himself was full of charm, and the slight southern drawl that curled his words drew you in immediately. But you didn’t let him know that; no, you pointed him to the back of the line of people waiting to order, and handed Bradley Bradshaw his drink instead.
That was the start of your friendship with Jake, and your infatuation with him. That part you keep to yourself, though. At first it was because you didn’t think it was anything other than a tiny crush, but then when that didn’t go away no matter what you did (or what Jake did). And then it was because he’d become a friend by that point, a familiar face and someone you enjoyed seeing and talking to, just like the rest of his squad of aviators, and you didn’t want to risk losing him like that. That’s what you told yourself, at least. Plus, the two of you had built up quite a fun back and forth with each other, all witty jokes and subtle flirting (on your end; Jake tends to flirt heavily with just about anyone) and you looked forward to it whenever you see the squad of aviators walk in the door.
This Friday night is no exception; they’ve been here for about an hour already, drinking and laughing and unwinding from the stress of the week. Bradley had told you earlier that one of the Admirals had a particularly large stick up his ass lately, and their squad in particular had been feeling the heat. Which meant they were keeping you busy, because Pete and some of the older aviators had commandeered Penny’s attention. Not that you were complaining, because you enjoyed talking to all of them and getting paid to do so.
Jake approaches the bar top on his own for the first time since arriving; he’s got a grin on his face as he leans his arm on the polished wooden surface closest to you. It’s early enough in the evening, not long after the bar had opened for the day, that it’s not very busy yet so you can give him your full attention while Penny chats with Pete and the patrons at the other end.
He’s wearing a soft-looking green button down shirt, with the top few buttons undone. The colour brings out his eyes,  His sleeves are rolled up just above his elbows, and you can see the silver chain that holds his dog tags disappear further down past where his shirt buttons are undone. And while you can’t see it from where you’re standing, you’re sure he’s also wearing those jeans you know work absolute wonders for his ass—not that you’d ever tell him that, of course, because his ego is inflated enough already. But you might sneak a look later on.
“Hey darlin’, another beer for me on the sore loser,” he says by way of greeting, grin curling his lips up and showing off his dimples. He jerks his thumb over his shoulder, and you peer over it to see Bradley standing back at the pool table the aviators had claimed. He’s wearing a bright blue Hawaiian shirt you’ve never seen before, and he’s got a defeated smile on his face. His shoulders are slumped and he’s leaning against the pool table as he catches you looking and waves. You wave back, smiling and winking at him before your attention turns back to the blond in front of you.
“You got it. The usual?” you ask, and he nods. You reach under the bar top to grab a bottle of Jake’s preferred beer, popping the cap off for him before you place it on the counter in front of him. “You won a game already? You haven’t been here that long.”
“I’m just that good at pool, darlin’.” Which is true; you know he’s beaten just about all of his fellow aviators, and you’d bet he’s hustled others at the Hard Deck too. Maybe even at other bars. Jake’s cocky, but unfortunately he’s got the skills to back up all his talk.
“Or maybe Bradley’s just that bad and you’re taking advantage of him.”
Jake doesn’t answer but he laughs as he reaches for his beer. His hand brushes yours as you hand him the bottle of beer, the pads of his fingers gliding over your knuckles and the back of your hand. His touch tingles, and you find your cheeks growing warm as those fingers trail electricity that fades all too quickly when he takes his beer. He holds eye contact with you for a beat too long before he’s winking and turning back towards Bradley and the others.
It was basically routine at this point. On Friday nights, the aviators would show up after they’ve finished for the day. Pete would find Penny, the two of them taking over one end of the bartop to flirt like they’re not in a bar full of people. The rest of them would come over to greet you, order their first round, and then either commandeer an open pool table, or grab a few tables to themselves to wait for one to open up. As soon as it did, they’d all take turns playing, with the losers buying the winners drinks. Jake tended to win more than he lost; and lately, he seemed to be winning against Bradley much more than he had before. Not that you kept track of that (except, of course, that you did).
The night goes on as the Hard Deck fills up, and you’re kept busy with the steady flow of customers that come your way. The aviators definitely keep you on your toes, and Bradley’s tab just keeps getting bigger as he continues to lose against Jake (and Natasha and Javy, you notice), and others keep buying rounds. You’re definitely happy with the tips you’re getting, though, and between you and Penny you manage to keep up with all the orders that just keep coming. Thankfully, though, it starts to get more steady than busy, and you’re thankful to start getting lulls between customers ordering drinks so you can do some cleaning. You begin wiping down the bar with a clean, wet rag from the bucket by your feet.
Bradley approaches the bartop, and up close you notice that his bright blue Hawaiian shirt is covered in magenta flowers, the colours almost too loud to look at. His cheeks are a little ruddy, and the top half of his shirt is unbuttoned and showing off the dogtags he’s wearing against his bare chest. His sunglasses are poking out of his shirt pocket, and he’s got a wide smile on his face as he places his hands in front of him on the slightly wet polished wooden surface. You stop wiping down the bar in case he’s here to get something from you, or maybe to close out his tab–though it’s a little early in the night for that.
He looks back over his shoulder towards where the others are, and you also look in that direction to see Jake staring at the two of you, a pool cue held in his hands and his brow furrowed. Mickey hoots, and sends you a thumbs up. You’re not sure what for, but his enthusiasm is sweet and you shoot him a thumbs up in return. Bradley looks back to you.
“You here for another round?” you ask, and his smile drops momentarily.
“No, I don’t think I want to add to my tab.” You pull it up, and then shake your head because no, he really doesn’t. Bradley grimaces and sighs, leaning forward towards you. “Actually, I had something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“I’m not ringing the bell on Jake just because he’s beating you at pool,” you warn him. “He’s got to earn it. Trick him into dropping his phone on the bar like a normal person.” Which Reuben had done with Bob last week, and you’d felt a bit bad for the bespectacled aviator but the rules are the rules. Bradley chuckles, and leans closer to you over the bartop.
“No, actually, Mav’s birthday is coming up and we wanted to do something for him and Penny. A surprise for the two of them” He looks behind you, seeing Penny and Pete where you know they’re decently close, and he gestures for you to lean forward. He moves his head next to yours, and starts whispering to you, wanting to keep this a secret. “We’re thinking about all chipping in and getting the two of them some kinda weekend away, maybe something fun in the city. D’you think you’d wanna get in on that?”
That’s definitely not what you were expecting, but your heart melts at the idea of being able to give your boss and her boyfriend a nice little vacation together. Penny’s been an amazing boss since you’ve started working for her, and you know how hard she works. She deserves this, for sure. “That is actually really sweet. Yeah, I’d be happy to do that for them.”
That’s when you hear Penny’s voice from behind you, startling you a bit. “Bradley Bradshaw, are you bothering my bartender?”
With a smile he probably thinks makes him look completely innocent, he moves away from your ear and answers her with a “No, ma’am!” and then wiggles his eyebrows at you before he turns and heads back towards the pool table. You watch him as you go, and you see when he gets back that Reuben slaps him on the shoulder while Natasha hands him her pool cue. Your eyes drift towards Jake, and you see him with a deep frown on his face, his pool cue leaning against the table as his arms are crossed over his chest. You can’t tell what he’s saying from this far away, but he’s moving up to get in Bradley’s face. Maybe the older aviator was actually supposed to get a round? You don’t know, but they’ll eventually work it out. They know if they start a fight in the bar that Penny will squash that real quick. Not that it wouldn’t be entertaining.
You resume your cleaning, gathering up some glasses that have been left on one side of the bar to put in the dirty dish bin to be washed later. An older man approaches the bar and asks for a whiskey neat, which you pour him, and he pays for it and thanks you before leaving. You put the bottle back in its place, and then all of a sudden Jake is standing in front of you.
“Hey, sailor. What can I get you?” you ask. You notice he’s not smiling like he normally would; his forehead is wrinkled and his eyebrows are furrowed as his green eyes look at you. His normally neatly coiffed blond hair is looking just a bit dishevelled, like he’s been running his hands through it and moving it out of its usual style. You start to worry when he doesn’t answer you; Jake is usually completely unbothered by anything, never being fazed and always taking things in stride. He’s always in control of every situation and every interaction he’s in. But that’s not how he’s looking now. Something’s got him looking almost frazzled, and it has you worried for him. You bite that worry down, though, as you watch him run a hand through his hair now.
“I need–” He sighs, shaking his head slightly. He takes in a deep breath before he starts again with, “Look, I need to talk to you. It’s important. Can we go somewhere private?” This is one of those nights you really wish that Jimmy was working, or that Penny had another bartender besides you because you really couldn’t just leave her alone before your shift was over. You pull your phone out of your pocket, checking the time.
“Uh, not right now, but I’m done in about an hour. Is that okay?” you ask, sliding your phone back in your pocket and looking at the aviator in front of you. He sighs, but not in an unkind way, and he nods. But there’s no wink, no smile, and no sign of his adorable dimples. You didn’t think you’d miss them as much as you did, but seeing him like this, with something bothering him, makes you realize that you’re kind of in over your head with him. “Are you okay, Jake?”
Jake nods again, letting his lips turn up slightly at the corners in a closed mouth smile. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” You’re stopped from answering when Mr Whiskey Neat comes back up for another drink and you reach down to grab the bottle. Jake nods at you, moving away from the bar top and heading in the direction of the bathrooms. “I’ll talk to you in an hour. Meet me outside, my truck’s farthest from the door.”
And then he’s gone and you’re pouring a drink, and you’re feeling confused, worried, and a little annoyed that your conversation had been cut short. What could Jake Seresin possibly need to talk to you about privately? And what exactly is bothering him? You only have the next hour to worry about it in your head, and you already know that’s not going to be fun.
The last hour of your shift goes by much too slowly for your liking, but as the minutes creep closer, you wish you had just a bit more time. You’re more than a little nervous to talk to Jake when it’s over; he’d closed out his tab with Penny while you’d been busy getting another round for some other customers, including Natasha and Bob, who were sharing secretive smiles as they chatted with you. Maybe there was something in the water at the naval base, or maybe all the stress of the week had really gotten in their heads. You weren’t sure which was worse.
But then you’re done, and it’s time to go talk to Jake, and you find yourself stalling on your way out. Penny must notice the change in your demeanor, because she stops you to ask if everything is okay before she lets you go.
“Was someone giving you a hard time?” she asks, keeping her voice low as you clock out. Your bag and coat are in the back room, which she gives you the key to, and you shake your head. “Pete can walk you out of here, if you need. Or I’m sure one of his squad would be more than happy to do that too.”
“I’m okay, Penny, I promise,” you assure her. You leave quickly to grab your things, and return to give her the key back.
“Text me when you get home!” You wave your hand to her, and then you’re leaving the Hard Deck and walking out into the cool night air. You pull your coat a little tighter around your body, walking towards the end of the parking lot. It takes a minute to see him in the dark, but Jake is leaning against the front of his truck when you spot him. He’s all the way at the far end of the parking lot just like he’d told you.
There aren’t too many cars left, and no one else is out and walking around so it’s just the two of you that you can see. He must see you coming because he pushes himself off of his truck and waits for you to get close enough before he greets you. The set of his shoulders is tense, and they’re up close to his ears. The smile on his face looks a little forced and you shift your weight between your feet as you look at him.
“What did you want to talk about? Seemed pretty important.”
He sighs, one hand coming up to tug at his hair. It shines even in the dingy, yellowed lights coming from the street lights set up in the parking lot, and you briefly wonder if it would feel as soft as it looks now, or if maybe it was crunchy with gel. You hoped it was soft. But that was not the point, and you push that thought away for now. “Look, whatever Rooster told you… just ignore him, okay? He’s drunk. I didn’t even drink half the beers I won off him, he did. He didn’t mean anything he said.”
Okay, now you’re confused. What did Bradley being drunk have to do with Pete’s birthday present? The mustachioed aviator hadn’t seemed that drunk when he spoke to you; you’d seen him absolutely shitfaced before, just once, and tonight was definitely anywhere close to that. You still mourned the t-shirt you’d been wearing that night, it had been one of your favourites. “Really? But I thought it was pretty sweet.”
That seems to irritate Jake, and he rolls his eyes. “But it’s not his business telling you that, he was just being an idiot. He’s a lightweight, and he’s probably puking on Bob’s shoes right now.” Now that was a funny image, and you hoped for Bob’s sake that Bradley throws up somewhere else and not on Bob’s shoes. You’d ask Natasha about that the next time you see her. “Rooster just thought he was being funny, is all. I wanted to make sure you knew that and make sure it didn’t make you uncomfortable.”
“It seems like it made you uncomfortable. Don’t even deny that you’re not! I can tell. I’m good like that.” He doesn’t take the opportunity to make a joke, or grin and wink at you like he normally would, which just served to bring your point home. You know he and Bradley can get under each other’s skin like no one else can, but this was a whole new level of grump.
But that’s when Jake comes out with it. “Of course it made me uncomfortable, him telling you that I like you like that! It wasn’t his business to do that.”
You’re not sure you heard him right. You blink, taking a moment to process his words. There’s no way you heard him correctly. He thinks Bradley Bradshaw told you, completely seriously, that Jake likes you. And that’s why he’s been acting so weird. Oh yeah, it’s all coming together now.
“Like me? What?” you ask, but you don’t give him time to answer. “Bradley didn’t say anything about you, he was telling me about Mav’s birthday present, asking if I wanted to pitch in for a trip for him and Penny.” Even in the dim light in the parking lot, you can see the colour drain from Jake’s face. His jaw even drops, just a little, as he stares at you. If you were thinking properly, you’d want to take your phone out and snap a photo of Jake Seresin, lost for words. You’d never seen it before. It was kind of cute. “You like me? As more than a friend?”
“No!” It comes out quickly, much too quickly, and you can hear the crack in Jake’s voice. It kicks your brain back into gear, and you feel a tingly warmth spread through your chest not unlike what you’d felt earlier when Jake’s fingers had brushed the back of your hand. It makes you almost giddy, the thought of Jake liking you like you like him. That you haven’t been pining over him and agonizing over whether it was worth ruining your friendship for nothing, and that his flirting had actually meant something. But you can’t resist teasing him about it, just a bit.
“Wait… so you don’t like me?” you ask, feigning disappointment–it’s hard, though, keeping the grin off your face as you do so. Jake shakes his head, taking a step closer and his hands coming out to hover in front of you, close but not actually touching you yet.
“No! No, I do like you!” Jake is so quick to backtrack, and you have to bring a hand up to cover your mouth to hide the smile and the laughter that’s threatening to come out. You think maybe that part of it is some sort of hysterical relief and joy at hearing Jake Seresin, Hangman, the most confident man you’d ever met, blurt out that he likes you like a child on a playground. God, you’ll never get over this, and this will absolutely be the story you’ll love to tell people when they ask how the two of you start dating. Which you know he’ll hate. But that’s something you’ll worry about later. Right now, you think Jake looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm and that would probably be counter productive. So you decide to throw him a bone.
“Well that’s good, seeing as I like you too,” you tell him, moving your hand away from your mouth to smile at him. That’s when you see his shoulders sag and the colour starts to come back to his face as he processes your words. And if you take that opportunity to confirm that yes, he is wearing those jeans that do wonders for his ass, well, that’s something you’ll keep to yourself.
“You do?” he asks when he finds his voice, and you nod. That’s when you see a smile break out across his face, and his dimples are back in full force.
“What, you think I flirt with just any aviator who comes into the Hard Deck?” That gets a laugh out of him, and you love the sound. It’s a real laugh, a rumble from deep in his chest, and you definitely want to hear that again. You hope you will.
“Well, I’m not just any aviator,” he confirms, walking just a bit closer. His hands are still out, and you reach out with one of yours to take his. They’re big, and warm, and the callouses rub against your skin in the best way. More tingles shoot up your arm, and you squeeze his hand with yours. “Then I guess it’s about time I ask you out, darlin’.”
“It’s not nice to leave someone hanging, you know.” He rolls his eyes. “Here, gimme your phone. We’ll trade numbers.” He digs his out of his pocket while you grab yours, and you unlock it and bring up your contacts for him. He does the same, and you enter your name and number before you hand it back. You see his name and number in yours. “I should get going so I can get home and text Penny before she sends out a search team. Call me!”
You get about five steps away before you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. You pull it out, and see Jake’s name across your screen. You answer the call.
“So I was thinking I could take you out sometime. Does tomorrow night work for you?” he asks, his voice coming over the speaker and also from behind you. You laugh, nodding as you hold the phone to your ear.
“Tomorrow works just fine. What do you have planned?” you ask. You don’t turn around, but you can imagine him leaning back against his truck as he talks, watching you walk away. You hope he enjoys the view.
“Gotta leave some things a surprise. Just make it home safe, and we’ll talk more tomorrow.” You assure him that you will, because you really do want to get home because you know Penny really will send someone out to check on you if she’s worried. “Goodnight, darlin’.”
You hang up the phone, waving back over your shoulder as you leave the parking lot. You hear Jake’s laugh behind you, and it puts a spring in your step all the way home.
Yeah, you’re absolutely sure he’s gonna kick Bradley’s ass for forcing his hand, but you got a date with Jake Seresin out of this. You can’t wait for Saturday night.
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638 notes · View notes
soapoet · 1 year ago
Text
autumn energy reading
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like & rb if it resonates ♡
01.
Shufflemancy: Pancakes for dinner by Lizzy McAlpine
Are you getting tired of the push-and-pull? It feels like the moment you put your foot down, tell yourself you're done, they're cute but not that cute, you're getting impatient and want to see movement, that's the exact moment you're pulled back in. The chemistry between you and someone you're dealing with is electrifying. Outsiders could easily think the two of you are an item, and if you're not then you should be. But what's the hold up?
You feel like you're losing it, certain you can feel their presence, lurking, creeping closer, and once they consume your thoughts and have you twirling your hair, kicking your feet as you lay on your bed daydreaming of the what ifs, their energy fades and you begin chasing it down. You're not the obsessive type either. You do not chase, you attract. And I promise you that what you are doing does not constitute as chasing. The person you're dealing with is. It's like their throwing their line into your pond, and you nibble at their bait, but when they fail to reel you in you simply let go. It'll take more than bait to catch you, and I think they're catching on.
We've heard it all before, but it really is them, not you. Something is holding them back even though they want to rush in. Inside them is two knights in the midst of a tug of war. One is rearing to go and wants to reach out and take action. The other is cautious, shy, and wants to take it slow. But the fierce warrior feels a little scared they'll scare you away, and the steady feels a little scared you'll slip through their fingers due to what to you looks like indecision. Please allow this person some time to transmute their thoughts and feelings into a solid offer and determination. They may feel woefully uncertain of your feelings, too. Whilst the chemistry is undeniable, they're certainly overthinking it.
For some of you there could be a power imbalance or other outside circumstance that is causing this extraordinary caution. I'm getting a variety of options, so I'll simply list off several: they could be your boss or colleague, a mentor, an ex of a friend or a sibling, the crush of a friend, a friend of a sibling, someone who is currently taken, going through breakup or divorce. Either way this feels like it goes against the status quo or requires some secrecy and caution on both sides. Besides the shufflemancy song I will also give you the song Starcrossed Losers by The Fratellis because there is a distinct Romeo and Juliet element to this and I keep hearing this song as I'm reading the energy. It's like mutual pining, but there's a need to tiptoe around each other and dance only at a masquerade where anonymity allows you to engage freely. The risk may seem great, but the reward would be even greater. For some of you who are older this could lead to marriage. The risk seems to go both ways, too, which makes the tension feel that much more tangible.
I think this is the one time playing some games might actually work in your favour, and I don't take such things lightly as clear and direct communication is something I revere, and you may do too, but this one time I think ignoring that bait and giving them space to develop a little bit of fear that you'll slip away will create enough friction to light up a sense of urgency for them, leading them to drop the fishing rod altogether and simply dive in to get to you. So take a breather, live your life, speak when spoken to and hold your energy steady and available, but refuse to entertain the push and pull dynamic and demand they get out of their head and spring into action. They may need the wake-up call. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but they certainly don't just jump into the boat on their own, so don't make them make you do all the work.
Additional details:
Hangman (the game), hair changes (colour, cut), investments, unexpected income, first snow, oversized sweaters, bruises, blue pen, dietary needs (deficiencies, anemia, veganism, gluten free, allergies), fall/winter jacket, navy blue and army green, pets, home decor, thrift shops, couches (sleeping on the couch, couch surfing, sleepovers), butterflies, funerals, spotify playlists, keys, Switzerland, Ireland, Georgia, Midwest USA, Iceland, Norway, India. Virgo/Leo/Pisces/Scorpio/Cancer, 222/333/888/23, July/August/October.
02.
Shufflemancy: 'tis the damn season by Taylor Swift
The song I got for this one feels oddly specific. Perhaps you have some core memory tied to autumn or winter, a past love or heartbreak, loss of a loved one either literally or through ties being cut and going your separate ways. Either way, you may be feeling nostalgic around the time you're reading this, and it feels bittersweet. You may say it's mostly bitter, but there is a sweetness present too, even though you're pushing it as far down into the depths of the darkest corner of your mind like a dusty box of memories you'd like to forget. Your recently played songs may say otherwise, though. You could find your thoughts drifting away when you're not fully occupied and busy, to people and places you couldn't revisit without triggering some still-sore feelings.
Another thing that seems to be patchworked into this quilt is someone new, but it feels like the threads are quite loose. Maybe you ripped one square out some time ago and found a replacement, but it doesn't fit quite right. It could be a very confusing circumstance, a situationship, a talking phase that keeps going on and on and on, without anything set in stone. Perhaps that was alright by you at first, this could be a rebound or a new chapter you ventured into with a carefree and light heart, not expecting much more than some pleasant times for the short-term. But things got quite blurry fast, didn't it? Like a line drawn in the sand much too close to the shoreline getting washed away by the rising tides. You may have settled into a comfortable agreement of nothing serious, only for one or both of you catching feelings, but neither doing anything about it.
For some of you, you may feel like you're being treated like a significant other, as though you're in a commited relationship, like those boundaries of previous agreements were crossed and you entered something more, but seemingly unbeknownst to them. You yearn for clarity, a yes or a no, because you're growing tired of wondering what this is and where it's going. You could desire commitment and parting ways equally because this middle ground is hazy and unsettling in its indecision. You're the irresistible force and they're the immovable object. A strange paradox that you wish to see a solution for, for better or worse.
I see you tossing and turning, restless and wanting something tangible. Like you're surrounded by only mist, stumbling in the dark with nothing solid around you to hold on to. Not even the ground beneath your feet feels entirely solid. Like you're existing in space, no up or down, no corners, no left or right. You have more questions than answers, and every unanswered question breeds more questions. The person you're dealing with can't even be described as being hot and cold, just lukewarm. Neither refreshing or cozy.
Don't give your time and energy away for free. If you yearn for more, demand it. And move on if it isn't granted. Beware of trying to fill the void left by one with another if they simply don't fit. If you lost a corner piece of the puzzle, a centerpiece won't fit, and ramming it in won't complete the picture. There is potential with this piece and it could be more than what it is, but you need to redraw the lines and confront them with your needs.
Additional details:
Glowing stars, LED lights, layered clothes, chokers, mullets, lgbt, exams, train rides, group activities, events, poetry, doorbell ringing, left on read, birthday presents, social media (ig), psychology, internships, tattoos, cartoon characters, comic books, cobblestone, cute socks, chapped lips, butterflies and moths, bats, storms, power outages, Austria, Germany, Brazil, South Africa, Ghana, Japan. Scorpio/Aquarius/Aries/Virgo/Capricorn, 444/555/25, May/November/December.
03.
Shufflemancy: Rabbit hole by AViVA
I won't lie, this one felt very uncomfortable to read. Do you feel like your past actions were mistakes after all? Like you picked the wrong route in a game and only recently realised you shouldn't have gone down this path and wish you could go back and change your decision? You felt so sure about it back then. It was the clearest path forward, it made so much sense. One path was paved and lit up so well, had wonderful opportunities and helping hands along the way. The other one was overgrown, covered in exposed roots threatening to make you stumble and fall, it was dark and winding and wouldn't let you see further than the next bend, no telling what lurks behind the next tree.
You may have recognised, or you are beginning to realise, that you chose wrong. Not entirely by your own volition, but guided by people you thought had true and good intentions. They served their own good above yours, didn't they? You may feel ashamed that you were lead astray so easily. That jagged path looks so much more exciting now, like an adventure full of surprises and growth and opportunities, whilst the path you're on feels plain, pre-determined, and most of all not your own.
Some of you may have cut ties with significant people as you parted ways, and that may haunt you now. Don't be too harsh on yourself. Sometimes we need to take detours to learn lessons separate from those closest to us. When our paths part, they may cross again in the future. Not every goodbye is forever, some words and actions can be forgiven, and reconciliation is never entirely off the table so long as two people agree to meet there to discuss.
I see you walking down a street and coming across ghosts from your past. Not wholly unpleasant, but unnerving nonetheless. For some of you the roles may be reversed, and you are the ghost spotted by somebody who once betrayed you somehow, and now bear witness to the person you grew into once they removed themselves, and see the life you now lead without them. There is a mix of regret, shame, and envy here. Whichever of you chose the beaten path now sees the other leading a life of excitement and adventure, and wish they had done things differently.
This energy may come to a head in the next few months from the time you read this. You, or they, may reach out. If not for reconciliation then at the very least for closure. It would be best to forgive and agree to be cordial even you don't decide to give each other another chance. As for those snakes you may have discovered around you, do not hesitate to cut people off that don't serve your best interest. Don't give up your time and effort to fair weather friends when you desire mutual respect and the ride or die experience. You deserve better, and have all the opportunities to find better as long as you cut dead weight loose so that you can truly soar.
Additional details:
Bookshops, stationery, notes, emails, messenger bags, roses, animal crossing, picture frames, scrapbooks, younger siblings, book series and fandoms related to books or tv shows, cosplay, photography, Hannah Montana, blonde or light brown hair, spirituality, letters, diary entries, neat handwriting, tinder, Italy, Hungary, Scandinavia, South Korea. Capricorn/Sagittarius/Libra/Aries/Scorpio, 000/555/411/2020, January/May/November/December.
04.
Shufflemancy: Candy by Robbie Williams
With all these delays on so many fronts, you'd think the boss music would quiet down too, right? But alas, you may have felt it in your bones, been constantly alert and ready for something, but that something seems to be taking its sweet time to make itself known. There's been anticipation in the air despite the rains of doubt, delays, rejections, and all kinds of curveballs coming down on you. It's frustrating to know exactly where you're going and how to get there, but having stop signs and road work ahead at every turn preventing you from moving in that direction.
You've been very hard on yourself as of late. Seek help if you need it, but most of all be merciful with yourself and don't carry fault when it's not yours to carry. You've done enough, and if the world won't bend, you don't have to. Sometimes we throw ourselves at doors that just will not open, and it's not our fault but the doors for not budging. Don't hesitate to ask for non-professional help either. You have more listening ears than you think, just be clear whether you need affirmation or advice, because you may feel too vulnerable for the latter if you feel like you've already tried everything. Nobody wants to collapse after a race of which they weren't the victor, only to be told to get back up and run another mile. You don't need to have that kind of tenacity and willpower. It's okay to rest, to need a hug and a good cry and some understanding, kind words.
Take a well-deserved break, and most of all let others treat you to something nice. You may have trouble accepting not just help, but doting too. Do not get bashful and turn down offers now, but accept them as blessings that you are well within your right to accept and enjoy wholeheartedly without guilt or shame. A little break may also be just what the doctor ordered, as distancing yourself from the stormy seas for higher ground could result in better perspective and understanding of how and where things went wrong, and how to traverse the waves when you get back to it. Things that wouldn't budge before may finally start moving along once you've caught your breath and have the energy to try again. If you've been looking to relocate, the previous struggles and clouds of doubt could lift as if on their own, and by opening yourself up to assistance you could find more hands to help you push those boudlers uphill.
You may also have had an inkling about the following, as you're a very observant and intuitive energy easy for me to read, but the boss music you have been hearing as of late may be drumming up the entrance of a significant new person or group of people, arriving into your life soon. This person, or these people, may be older than you, or more experienced in some way. This will feel like being taken under the wing(s) of someone, a mentor like figure, who can show you the way where you have previously been running blind and lost on your own.
An important thing to note, however, is that they won't do everything for you, which at first may be disappointing as you've been doing everything all by yourself for so long, but these people, or this person, will show you the way and walk alongside you, ready to be leaned on when necessary, but not dictate the pace at which you go at, nor what you do, when you do it, and how you do it. You'll quickly find this a better alternative, as ultimately you want to be able to say you made it on your own, and see the fruits of your labour with your name on them, and you truly deserve the applause for all your hard work and efforts.
Additional details:
Travelling, airplanes, dinner, shopping sprees, new shoes, electric blue, orange, sunsets, Paramore, vtubers, ASMR, drawing/painting, digital art, plushies, fruity scents, dogs, D&D, astrology, paperwork, therapy, social work, bills, moving, new coworkers/classmates, Roman empire/mythology, kitchen magick, the UK, USA, Australia, Mexico, Honduras, Peru. Sagittarius/Libra/Taurus/Gemini, 111/222/12/21, April/September/December.
05.
Shufflemancy: Brightside by Arrested youth
Feels like a very strange time, doesn't it? Like you're putting on a pair of new shoes identical to an old pair you're replacing with the new. They look the same, but don't yet fit quite right and need to be broken in. You may be relearning a lot of things. Maybe you got out of a long relationship, romantic or platonic, even familial, or moved away to a brand new place, and nobody told you this transition into a new chapter, a new way of life, would come with growing pains as you learn to live your own life as a separate entity from someone, some people, or circumstances. It's equally empowering and unnerving. You can do more of what you want, but perhaps you forgot or never had the chance to quite figure out what that is.
Allow yourself the time and space to break this new chapter in. Don't rush and give yourself blisters from trying to run too fast too soon. Trace your steps back to things you used to enjoy, the things, places, and people that brought you joy, and used to sink your time into more back when time was a more abundant currency. Those in your life who understand what you're going through will also be less demanding and be more forgiving when you go through trial and error in terms of how to delegate your time.
And by all means, embrace opportunities to meet new people, but if you got out of a long-term romantic relationship I would caution against starting anything new too soon. You just got out of commitment waters, and you're still soaked and dripping, and this is likely to attract people who want long-term, but until you're dry and healed from the past, it would do both you and prospective partners more harm than good to get into something new. You need time to be whole within yourself, not as a part of a duo, but your own individual with options to grow in any direction you want without a say from anybody else. Even a short-term fling will hinder this growth, because if you're barely out of the commited mindset, it'll be difficult to not revert back to it only to feel cornered again and begin fighting for your freedom.
Some of you may have eyes on somebody new. Ask yourself if they're just a shiny new version of the old, with upgrades that undo much of the bugs and grievances of what you had before. Perhaps they are better in many ways, even ideal, but you could end up measuring them up to the old flame without thinking, and nobody deserves to be compared to other people. Nobody deserves to feel like a new iphone, because they will learn quickly that another one will be in the making the moment they're on the market, and fearing replacement somewhere down the line is neither fun or healthy. That's not to say you would keep lining up for new iphones every time, but do take time to really finetune what it truly is that you look for in a partner, and be specific.
Someone who originally makes your heart flutter may instead have potential to become a lifelong friend. Somebody you can rely on, who will tell it like it is, guide you, be there for you, and truly show through not just words but actions that they have your best interest at heart. This person may teach you a lot, and broaden your horizons in ways you previously thought impossible. They could be younger than you, or simply more childlike and carefree than you, but you will be amazed by their strength, courage, and resilience, and they may hold quite a bit of life experience, which they easily wield to help you make your life look like one you can feel proud of. It would be a shame to reduce a life companion to a romantic partner when sometimes platonic love can get your farther and help you reach the love you deserve. Don't rush to get the bride or groom when the bestman or maid of honour is right in front of you. They may quite literally hold the key to your next relationship with the various doors they can open for you.
Additional details:
Vikings, runes, the moon, Star wars, video games, co-op games, boardgames, nostalgia, guitars, cereal, tech, numbers and codes, inside jokes, mattress on the floor, solitude, fire, smoke, coffee, oatmeal, fasting, red/ginger hair, cats, packages and deliveries, medicine and vitamins, blueberries, rings, camping, mermaids, autumn equinox, aurora borealis, ghosts, the word "issue", Canada, the Philippines, Malaysia, New Zealand, UAE, Eastern Europe, Chile. Cancer/Pisces/Gemini/Capricorn, 13/999/666, February/March/July/September.
06.
Shufflemancy: Sweater weather by The Neighbourhood
Emotionally you may feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Things outside of yourself seem to be dictating what you can and cannot do or say or feel. You could be grieving lost love, but it feels less like you miss the person, and more like you miss how things were when things were fine. But you're also learning how much of that was a facade, a lie, or plain and simply a monotonous kind of "good enough". You may have felt settled and lulled into a sense or security of something that seemed so stable, and willfully overlooking any lack, flaw, and bump in the road and something arbitrary. Told yourself nobody's perfect, life isn't like in the movies, love is more stable without fire and butterflies, the routine is safe and the unknown is scary. That didn't pan out very well, did it? For some of you, you may have been cheated on, betrayed, lied to, hurt by somebody you never knew bore claws. Others of you, perhaps you realised all this time you were becoming more of a shell of your former self and living up to the expectations and standards set by someone else. For a few of you, this reading is moreso about a project or opportunity than a person, so take what resonates and flip it as necessary.
Amidst this grief and confusion, however, there seems to be a light, and if we allow for a litte bit of a cliché, it may feel as if it's the light at the end of the tunnel. For some of you it's possible the arrival of someone new into your life really shook things up, and they served as a catalyst to help you see how dreadful your life has become. This shake-up could've been quite the whirlwind and caught you off guard. This person feels new in more ways than one. Perhaps you previously stuck to more stable and reliable people, those who gave you a sense of familiarity as they reflected some of your own traits, who fit you like a glove. Your energy feels solid, meticulous, responsible, and very steady. You would understandably be shocked to the core when the wind suddenly picks up and it begins to hail and shine all at once in a life so frequently overcast and dull, yet predictable and safe.
A part of you has enjoyed the change of pace, right? There is something exciting and invigorating about the unpredictable nature of this hurricane hitting your shores. It can be triggering a bit of a saviour complex in you, too. One that seeks to calm the storms and tame the winds. You may find yourself protective of this person, but you're learning not to underestimate them. They may have been through a lot, but perseverance is something they pride themselves in. At first you may think of them as a fool caught up in storms of their own making, but eventually it dawns on you that they are more in control than they let on, and despite the turbulence they face they have unique ways to handle things all on their own. Your desire to protect and save them is insistent, but transmutes into assistance instead over time, and you may even become inspired by their tenacity and their wild ways.
There could be a brief period of radio silence between you and this person in the near future, which forces you to come to terms with your feelings. Divine timing seems to be at play, as the sudden disappearance of the sun forces you stare into the dark of the night and face your own shadow. Here you may learn that the two of you could be a perfect match. Opposites attract, don't they? You're similar enough to have mutual respect, love, and understanding, but different enough to keep things interesting and to cover your bases. Your weaknesses are their strengths and vice versa. Think of how far you could both go if you joined forces. This realisation, along with admitting to yourself that hiding your heart and staying in the corner licking old wounds forever will do you no good, will set you out on a path towards a future that firstly looks more like one built for you by you, and secondly gets you farther, faster, with better rewards and real gold in the pot at the end of the rainbow.
Perhaps it won't be easy, but I advise you to step outside of your comfort zone. You may wish to delay, wait and see, to take things slow and steady as you normally do, but know that this time that simply won't do. This is a great challenge with promise of even greater rewards, but it feels time sensitive. Just as the night gives way for the sun to rise, so too does the sun set to cast the day into darkness. You may dig your heels in and object, insisting good things are worth waiting for, but let me flip the script for a different perspective: would you like to stand in the pouring rain, waiting for somebody to open the door and let you in, or would you eventually stop ringing the doorbell and seek shelter elsewhere? Make up your mind before they do, and take action accordingly.
Additional details:
Tickets (events, travel), hoodies, gym, weightlifting, pets, plants, rice and noodles, disney, old cartoons, expecting/checking for messages, sleepless nights, sweet scents, coconut, vinyls, denim jackets, Brokeback Mountain, redbull, espresso, hiking, foraging, cooking, silence, empty house or office, greyscale, hair ties/scrunchies, 8-bit games, metal, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Montenegro, the Maldives, Zimbabwe, either the state of Georgia or the country, Virgo/Cancer/Leo/Aquarius, 111/666/777/10/30, June/July/October.
225 notes · View notes
pursuedbyamemoryy · 1 year ago
Note
Hope you're having a good day/night! I come with a request if you want to write it (if not then that's cool!) What about a Charles Smith x reader where it's like 2 or three months after leaving with him to help the Wapiti people and reader finds out shes pregnant, and is super worried to tell him because of everything going on, of course he finds out though.
a promising future
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☆ thank you for requesting! i love charles so much and i had fun writing this, i hope you enjoy reading <3 !!
warnings - pregnancy ( lmk if i'm missing any ! )
w/c - 1.8k
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it had been nearly three months since the downfall of the van der linde gang. you and charles had decided to stay up north with the wapiti people and help them get to safety, rather than go back to beaver hollow. this gang had meant a lot to you, and the fact that it was falling apart was hard for you. you were close to so many members, including a couple who had unfortunately already passed away. you knew it was inevitable, but you had decided you’d rather not see the absolute end, so you stayed with charles. he was all you needed anyways, he was the love of your life, and he meant everything to you.
you and charles helped rains fall and the wapiti people pack up and move up north to canada, helping them get away from colonel favours and the army, in hopes of giving them as much freedom and peace as possible. you were happy to help, rains fall and his people were nothing but kind to you, and they deserved the best they could get. however with the stress of helping them out, you started to feel sick, and oh so exhausted. it’s just stress. i’m not resting enough. i haven’t been drinking enough water. you tried to convince yourself. deep down you knew that wasn’t true, but you didn’t want to add any more stress to you or charles’ life.
you and charles hadn’t exactly been careful when you’d slept together recently. you hadn’t had much time to yourselves, so you took advantage of every moment alone, which resulted in neither of you caring about where he finished. you had been around when abigail was pregnant with jack, and you had a lot of the same symptoms she did back then. there was no doubt in your mind that you were pregnant, and you were terrified.
you wanted to tell charles, you really did, but with everything going on these past few months you could never find a good time. you figured the last thing he needed right now was to be told that he was going to be a father, that you had a baby on the way. you knew that normally, under any other circumstances he’d be happy. but now he was working day and night, doing what he could to help the tribe get settled, helping with the sick, and getting them what they needed. you didn’t want him to worry about you and your baby on top of that.
you knew charles had noticed you were out of sorts, of course he had. he was very observant when it came to you especially, and you caught him looking at you worriedly here and there over the past few weeks. he knew you’d come to him when you were ready to talk, so he didn’t pry.
you were lost in your thoughts, helping with the laundry with some other tribe members. you heard someone come up behind you and rest their hand on your shoulder, you knew immediately who it was. he brushed your hair to the side, kissing your neck gently. you leaned into his touch, humming happily.
“hi charles” you said with a smile.
“hi, my love,” he said, placing another soft kiss to your jaw. “i was going to go out and hunt and get something for dinner, i was wondering if you’d like to come with me?”
you smile, and nod. “yeah sure, i’m just about finished with laundry anyways.” you wrung the water out of the shirt you were washing, laying it out on a rock to dry. standing up, you wiped your hands on your skirt and turned around to face charles, grabbing his hand as he led you to your horses.
“have you found any good hunting spots around here yet?” you say, patting taima gently and making your way over to your own horse, tightening his saddle and giving him a sugar cube.
“i found one decent spot close to here that had a bunch of deer, other than that i haven’t had much time to hunt.” he made sure taima’s saddle was secure and mounted her, waiting for you to do the same.
you hummed in response, mounting your own horse and riding beside charles out of the tribe’s current camp.
the ride was quiet, but not awkward. there was a lot of comfortable silence between the two of you, which you never minded. he led you a short while away from camp to a grassy clearing next to a thick grove of trees, where you saw a herd of deer lazily grazing.
he held his finger up to his lips, motioning you to be quiet so you didn’t scare away the deer. you nodded, slowly and quietly getting off your horse and drawing your bow from your saddle bag, charles doing the same.
you crouched down next to him, stealthily making your way closer to the deer. you got close enough that you’d be able to land a good shot, but still far enough away that you wouldn’t scare the herd. you both drew your bows, aiming at different deer. charles landed a clean shot, and while yours wasn’t as clean you both managed to take down the two deer with just one arrow each.
charles looked over at you with a smile, “nice work as always, my love.” he grabbed one of your hands, kissing the back of it gently.
“i could say the same to you.” you said with a smile.
you both stand up, making your way over to the deer, slinging the one you killed over the back of your horse and securing it. usually a quick hunt such as this wasn’t too tiring, but you were quickly starting to feel exhausted. you watched as charles secured his deer on taima’s rump. he then made his way over to you, looking into your eyes deeply, as if he could read all your thoughts.
“are you feeling okay? i know we’ve had a lot going on but you seem... distracted?” he took your hands in his.
you took a deep breath. you needed to tell him. he deserved to know. god, how do you even tell someone this? would he be upset? would he be excited? your mind was racing, your hands shaking in his. you started to tear up, your anxiety taking over.
“hey, hey, it’s okay.” he pulled you in for a hug, running his hand up and down your back comfortingly.
you rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, trying to collect yourself and your thoughts. charles didn’t press further, he just continued to hold you until you were ready to talk.
you took another deep breath and took a step back, looking him in the eyes. tell him. he looked worried. tell him. he continued to run his hand up and down your back comfortingly. tell. him.
“i’m pregnant.”
he stiffened slightly, his eyes going wide. “really?” he looked you up and down slowly. “you’re actually…?”
you nodded, looking away from him and at some random spot in the dirt. “yes. i’m sorry, charles.” you said quietly.
“sorry? my love, why are you sorry? this is great news!” he replied immediately, his hands moving to cup your face gently.
“we’ve had so much going on lately… i was worried that you’d be upset because we’ve been so stressed between everything that’s happened between the gang and the tribe...” you rambled, pausing for a moment. “you’re happy then?” you looked back at him, your eyes starting filling with tears once again, this time happy ones.
“of course i’m happy. sure we’ve been busy, but i love you, and i’m more than excited to start a family with you. in fact i’ve been wanting to start a family with you, and now that we’re out of the gang, we don’t have as much to worry about. no more bounties on our heads and pinkertons breathing down our necks.” he grinned. “and i have to be honest, i suspected you might be pregnant, but i hadn’t had an opportunity to talk to you about it.” he chuckled, wiping a stray tear that slipped down your cheek. he looked you in the eyes, then leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips.
he wasn’t upset at all. he wants this, he wants a family. he’s happy. you kissed him back, wrapping your arms behind his neck.
you let out a sob as you pulled away, tears flowing down your cheeks. “i’m so glad.” you laughed, relieved. of course he was happy, why wouldn’t he be?
you giggled as he peppered kisses across your face, kissing away your tears. he pulled you in for another kiss on the lips, soft, sweet, and passionate. you didn’t pull away until you were both out of breath, resting your forehead against his.
“i love you.” you sighed.
“i love you so much.” you stayed like that for a moment before he reached into his satchel and pulled out a little envelope excitedly. “i almost forgot to tell you, i got us a place. it’s not much as of right now, but i’ll fix it up real nice for us. for our family.” he showed you the deed, which confirmed his statement.
you grinned, kissing him again. “oh charles, this is wonderful, thank you. thank you so much. how did you even afford this?”
“i’ve been saving as much as i can from all the jobs we used to go on while we were in the gang. it wasn’t much at first, but it added up.” he smiled. “we’ll still help out the tribe, of course, but i thought it was about time we got a place of our own. i want our baby to live a better life then we have, and i’ll do anything to make that happen, you hear?” he grabbed your chin gently. “i’ll do anything to make you and our baby happy, because if you’re happy, im happy.” he pulled you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head gently.
you stayed like that for a while, the rest of the world around you forgotten. for all you cared it was just you and charles in that moment. eventually as the sun started to sink below the trees, you decided it was time to head back to camp, lest the spoils of your hunt go to waste. you mounted your horses and made your way back to camp together, happier then you had been in a while. for once your future looked promising, and you were more than happy to be spending it with charles, and eventually your baby.
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superprincesspea · 10 months ago
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Courted by the Dragon
Chapter 5 - Cyvasse
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Aemond Targaryen is both the cause and witness to the greatest humiliation of your life. You would rather die than see him again. Yet summer at court and the precipice of civil war have other ideas.
Masterlist
~~~
While the men are hunting, court is held in the queen's private chambers and there is enough cake and gossip to fuel an entire afternoon.  
The cake, you enjoy, but the gossip is all the same. Suitors. Marriage. Betrothals. It's as though the men never left and, the name which far surpasses all others in its frequency, is Aemond.  
The sound of it seems to prick your ears from every direction and, for a moment, you wonder if he enjoys being the most eligible bachelor at court. Except you already know the answer to that. You've never seen him dance or flirt. In fact, the only time you've ever seen Aemond perform for his gaggle of starry-eyed admirers, is that day on the balcony. And you’re not sure if he did it for their benefit, or if it was just a natural result of arrogance and gloating. 
Laughing to yourself, you decide on the latter before reaching for your second raspberry tart. 
Your mother, however, has other ideas. She slides the plate from your grasp and, if that wasn’t bad enough, she also picks up the embroidery hoop which has been idling on your lap for the past twenty minutes.  
"This will need unplucking... again ,” she scolds, handing it back to you with a pair of scissors and a stern look. 
You refrain from rolling your eyes, looking instead at Maris and Cassandra who have almost finished their handkerchiefs. They never have to unpluck anything!  
Why can’t you be more attentive? It would save you so much time in the long run, and your poor thumb wouldn’t be facing another round of pin pricks. With that in mind, you quietly decide that one wonky cornflower will have to do, no matter how much your mother disapproves. 
Afterall, it's not as though you'll be giving this handkerchief as your favour, since you can’t think of a single person who will ask for it.   
So, instead of wasting more time, you wait until your mother is distracted by something Cassandra has said. Then you slip away, taking your hoop and a spool of thread as though you might continue elsewhere.  
Your real destination is the bookcase on the other side of the room, and it's been calling your name since you first arrived.
The closer you get, the easier you can see the dragons carved into the wood just like they are carved into everything else. The walls, the chairs, the stone fireplace. As though anyone in this room could ever forget you were in the lair of the dragons.  
Reaching the bookshelf, you’re excited to see every inch of space is piled high, and some of the volumes look as though they have never even been touched, their spines smooth and their gold embossed lettering in pristine condition.  
There are no new books in Storms End, and you itch to open one. Wanting to smell the fresh ink on crisp parchment and feel the pages beneath your fingertips. But you don’t. You'd hate to be the one who sullies that perfect leather, and these aren’t just anyone’s books, they’re the Queens. So, you reach for an older book, its cover curled at the edges, its pages stained and wrinkled from countless turns.  
Aegon’s Conquest.  
Flicking through the first few chapters, you wonder if Aemond has read it and curse yourself as soon as the thought enters your mind. Wasn't it enough for his name to be in every conversation? Did he really need to creep into your subconscious too? Though you suppose you couldn’t really blame Aemond for that, he wasn’t even here. Still, blaming him felt infinitely better than blaming yourself.  
Replacing the book back onto the shelf, you turn to the window. From here, you can see a perfect view over Blackwater Bay, and it could remind you of home if it wasn’t for the near constant stream of merchant ships. Most of them are small, with only one sail to propel them through the water. But one is much larger, and you count 15 sails in total as it leaves port, its tiny crew standing on deck. 
You wonder where they're going, who they carry, and just how exciting it would be to sail away to some strange and exotic place like Braavos or Volantis. 
When you can’t make out the people onboard the ship any longer, you turn your attention to the Cyvasse board. You’ve never seen one like this before, its pieces carved from ivory and jade instead of black and white.  
You reach to pick up the green dragon and its heavier than it looks, the stone perfectly smooth and the carving intricately detailed. It almost feels as though it might spark to life in the palm of your hand, which leads you to wonder just how small real dragons are when they’re born.  
You'd never thought much of dragons before but, here , they are everywhere. Carved, embroidered, painted and prowling the halls in black leather.  
Holding the piece closer to the window, the tiny green gems of its eyes glow brightly in the sunlight, and again you’re thinking of Aemond . You’ve never seen what lies beneath the black patch across his scar, but you know it's a gem and wonder of its colour. Green like the tiny dragon in your hand, or blue like his eye.  
Cursing yourself again for not only thinking of Aemond but knowing the precise shade of blue which makes up his eye, you place the dragon back on the board then reach to investigate another piece- 
"Do you play?” A voice startles you, and you glance over your shoulder to see Queen Alicent standing directly behind you. 
“Your Grace,” you gasp, turning to face her and offering a somewhat awkward curtsy.  
What was it about this family which always seemed to catch you by surprise?  
“I said, do you play?” 
“A little.” And not as well as you would like. Cyvasse partners were not frequent in the Hall of Storms End and, if they were, most people didn’t want to play with a girl.  
“Then sit,” she says, gesturing towards the ivory side of the board.  
For a moment, you don’t move. Was this really happening? Were you really going to play Cyvasse with the queen? The whole thing seemed so unlikely to the girl you were a few months ago, yet it was happening just the same.  
You force your legs to move, sitting opposite her but not without casting a weary look towards your family. But its only Maris who seems to notice what is happening and, when you smile, she does not return it. 
“Your sisters seem to have become quite close friends with Helaena,” the Queen says, drawing your attention back to her. 
“The Princess is very kind,” you reply sweetly, thinking your mother would be pleased with your answer. But more pleased to hear you had not gone on to say, ‘unlike your son.’  
The queen doesn’t reply and there’s a comfortable silence as you both arrange your Cyvasse pieces into your preferred starting positions.  
You know it will be your turn first, but you’re not sure what piece to play. You don't want to appear too aggressive or too careful. You want something surprising, thoughtful. Though you suppose none of that really matters, since your only real hope is that she won’t beat you too quickly.  
You move the Light Horse. 
“Are you enjoying your time in Kings Landing?” she asks, contemplating her own move for longer than you would have imagined. 
“It is... everything I expected it to be.” 
“Quite the political answer,” she says, sliding her Rabble two spaces forward.  
Your aunt always played her Rabble in the same way. As a result, your second move is a little quicker and the queens is too. You both play four more turns before there is a longer pause while she considers her options. 
“I noticed you looking at the books, you may borrow one, if you wish,” she says, falling into the trap you’ve been baiting. 
Your heart quickens, excited. “Thank you, your grace,” you say, sliding your Dragon to capture her Elephant.  
For her move, she claims a Trebuchet, and you bite your lip, frustrated by your mistake.  
“A good Cyvasse player must notice everything, ” she says and, maybe she’s talking about the game, but there’s something in her tone which causes you to meet her eye and wonder why she has noticed you .  
The room is filled with other ladies. Ones who crave her company, one’s who she’s known for years and most with stations far higher than yours. Still, you don’t ask her why. You play your next move and, more than thirty moves later, the Queen wins.  
You’re not surprised by her victory. It's been almost a year since your last game, which is a good enough excuse, yet you hate to lose just the same.   
“You play very well but you should practice more,” she says, and you enjoy her praise far more than you’d care to admit.  
"Thank you, your grace but my family does not play,” you reply, knowing instantly that Maris, who has not stopped staring, would hate you for saying this.  
If the queen wanted Cyvasse, then Maris would practice until her fingers bled, even if she despised every moment of the game. 
“Then meet me tomorrow, after breakfast, in the garden.”  
This is not a request, nor does she wait for an answer or even stay in the room. She’s done with court and leaves you and the rest of the ladies to finish the afternoon alone.  
Later, when you should be sleeping, Maris sneaks into your room, sitting at the bottom of your bed with her hair in rags. 
“What did you talk about with the Queen?” she asks, and you know she’s been desperate to ask you this all evening.  
“Nothing really, we just played.” 
“Urgh...” she falls back dramatically on the bed. “I’ve been trying to get her to notice me for weeks and you spend one afternoon with her and-” she sits back up, frowning, “it's not fair!” 
“You try too hard.” 
“Well , you don’t try at all.” 
She wasn’t wrong. If anything, you were trying to stay out of the way. But you supposed aloof was noticeable when everyone wanted centre stage. Perhaps if you were livelier, you’d be less visible. Like you were those first two weeks at court.  
“I envy you,” she says, reaching to brush away the hair which has fallen onto your cheek. “You are the third daughter which is even worse than being the second, but you don’t care. I wish I didn’t care.” 
“Then don’t,” you smile, taking her hands in yours and holding them tightly. “Starting now, no more caring about what anyone thinks.” 
She returns your smile, and you both know that what you’ve said is an impossible task for someone like Maris. She cares about everything and everyone. Still, neither of you say it.  
Instead, you scoot over in the bed and pull back the covers for her to climb in beside you. You haven't slept together like this since you were little girls, but the excitement you feel is just the same. Sometimes you would stay up all night, talking, telling stories and daring each other to sneak down the hall to bang on Septa Orella's door. Maris would never do it, but you could never resist.  
Blowing out the candle, you both snuggle into the quilt, lying face to face, arms tucked under pillows and eyes still not quite heavy enough for sleep.  
“There is one person I care about...” she whispers in the dark. 
“Who?” 
“Aemond, of course,” she says as if this is common knowledge, yet it is not common to you. 
"You don’t even know him,” you say, hating the tone in your voice. So judgemental, so accusatory.  
“What is there to know?” 
What is there to know about a man you care for? You scoff, its times like these when you realise just how different you are from her. 
“How about his manner? His interests? His passions?” Or the way he might mercilessly tease a person for the rest of their life. Which leads you to the terrible realisation that, if Maris marries Aemond, then you will never be rid of him.  
“You are quite the secret romantic,” she says, laughing softly. "Ladies do not marry men for their interests, and I do know him. He is a Prince of the realm and Helaena has told me he is the kindest and most gentle brother.” Her voice turns so whimsical at the last part that you can’t help but snort. 
“Helaena is hardly going to tell you that he is ungentlemanly, exasperating and completely incapable of-” you stop yourself.  
What exactly were you going to say next? Incapable of forgetting a certain day on the beach?  
You swallow your words, but Maris presses for more. "Incapable of what ?”  
“Smiling ,” you say quickly, except that isn't true. You've seen him smile plenty of times. Heard his infuriating laughter too. Yet Maris agrees with you.  
“You’re right, he never really seems to smile but I can hardly hold that against him.” 
“You don’t hold anything against anyone,” you remind her.  
“Well, you hold everything against everyone . You know we are all wondering why Ser Harrold does not ask you to dance anymore...” her tone is playful, as though she assumes the whole thing is by your design and you don’t refute her. 
“Ser Harrold is a fool.” 
You can practically hear the roll of her eyes. "Is there a single man you don’t despise?” 
“Of course,” you say, keeping your tone even and entirely serious. “I don’t despise, Lord Henry.” 
Maris giggles so loudly you’re certain she will wake the entire keep. “He is a cat!” 
“And much more amiable than the men at court,” you say, trying desperately to hold onto your own giggles. But Maris’ laughter is so infectious that you’re both forced to cover the quilt over your head to smother the sounds.  
When you come up for air, you don’t tell her you’re playing Cyvasse with the Queen in the morning. In fact, you don’t tell anyone, and for someone who is trying to steer clear of unwelcome company, you’re doing a terrible job.  
~~~~
Thank you for all your lovely comments, likes and reblogs on the previous chapters! <3
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