#Do you appreciate the many parenthesis

[mothmothwoth]

I am- I- hoooooooooh boy- the- The check engine light is on- (is talking about figurative check engine light (is not able to drive (nor SHOULD be given power to pilot a large deadly thing) due to various medical reasons) I’m talking about the check engine light in my brain)

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

night sucker, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You and your hot-sexy-maybe-an-idiot-but-definitely-horny-and-always-perfect boyfriend Jeon Jungkook had mutually agreed not to fuck in the middle of the night. And... Well. You're still gonna fuck in the middle of the night. What?! It just happened! He slipped and his dick fell in your mouth! (It's the weekend, it's okay! :D)

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; playful banter and shitty jokes; you were asleep (not really) until his dick fell in your mouth (nice!); crack and fluff; smut (fem reader, m and f-receiving oral, fingering, m-masturbation, face sitting); squabbling tbh; non-idol!BTS - short black-haired!JK with his two lip rings; the parenthesis are the reader’s inner thoughts

crackhead best laid plans / counter point / well dressed / cursed hours couple no need to read the others, but they’re there if you want more

--

You woke up to your boyfriend’s hard dick sliding into your open lips.

Fuck yeah!

(Do we sense a kink developing? Mayhap.)

Most people would be a little surprised, annoyed perhaps, but thankfully you were pretty used to the unhinged horny behavior of Jeon Jungkook (encouraging it, even, oop). You weren’t completely in the dark (well, you were – er, never mind) about it, because you had felt the very suspicious bowing of the bed by your right shoulder, plus you could smell him (mmmm, that vanilla almond body wash still lingered), and you had sucked his cock many, many, many times before. Oh. Right. Should have led with that.

Point was, your mouth was well acquainted with his dick.

(You’d have matching friendship rings but Jungkook would complain too much, keke.)

Delicately, you turned your head a bit and molded your tongue around the shaft, feeling the head twitch in your throat as his hips began to carefully thrust. Jungkook must have known that you were awake and not sleep-sucking his dick, but he wasn’t making any obvious noises.

(The aforementioned kink alive and well, folks!)

You heard him shudder and felt his fingertips skim over your cheek and clavicle. Probably to check the distance. His right leg must have been hovering over your body (you appreciated him not kneeing you in the boob, thank you, very kind), with his left knee by your right shoulder. You started curling your tongue back and forth as he moved, keeping your head still, and Jungkook gasped (a little too loud, pfft), being slightly rougher about it as your throat closed in around his twitching cock. He was mumbling something (useless prayers, your name, fuck me, the usual), and you still hadn’t moved your limbs yet, keeping the illusion alive. All activity in the depths of your mouth, squeezing, swirling your tongue around, letting him pause and edge himself with your lips rubbing the bottom of the swollen head, before shoving himself back in with a whining hiss, surprisingly not too deep, giving a whole new meaning to the term night sucker.

(Insert eyebrow wiggle here.)

His breathing was deepening, taking himself to the edge again, probably enjoying his full control of the pace as he filled your mouth over and over again, slow, deep, almost lazy, reaching his full girth and hardness.

This was when you let him know you were actually awake.

Because you grabbed his ass and jammed his cock all the way to the base, his balls smacking into your chin.

“Gah!”

You heard his palms smack into the headboard (or wall?) and, without giving him a moment to react, you extended the tip of your tongue past your lips to lick his balls, raising the back of your tongue to cup his cock and press It repeatedly against the back of your warm, tight throat.

“Woah, h-hey!”

You tipped your head back and took him deeper. Circled around his balls, leaving them wet, slippery, and tingling. His gruff, half-asleep moan drifted up to the ceiling, mixed with an exasperated whimper.

“I was… I was s-supposed to be catching you off guard… Now you’re just showing off!”

(He’s not wrong.)

You lifted your torso a bit, twisting, and rubbed your breasts against his thigh, sending sparks all throughout your torso. (Mmmm.) He was all tensed up and hard (heh) from maintaining his position above you. You knew he could feel your hard nipples because you heard the snack of his fist against the wall and his defeated groan, his head falling forward.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

Jungkook was hot – er, ahem, ran hot. While being trapped between his (very sexy) legs was (very super) arousing, the summertime night heat was being exacerbated by his (very hot) body (you get the point), so you lowered back down to your pillow, kneading his incredible ass (won’t start again but, man, did you love his obsession with working out), nudging him to start moving again.

Thus, you comfortably enjoyed him face-fucking you, providing plenty of tongue action in your own right, his balls smacking against your chin with each thrust, with your spit sticky on your skin.

(Didn’t think that though, huh. Oh well.)

He kept a steady but intense pace. Since he led the movement, you could focus every muscle in your mouth – loose and soft around the length, lips tight, tongue roughly stimulating all his favorite spots, just under the head and along the underside, your saliva providing that frictionless slip, and then you felt his body shift.

His hand was moving.

A startled yelp stifled by his cock vibrated in your throat as his fingers slid down your stomach. His gasps hiked in pitch, and you curved your hips towards his touch, folding one of your legs to raise your lower body, and then his searching fingers grazed over your slick, dripping pussy, bringing the fire.

(And setting the night alight, iykyk.)

The human body could do a lot of creative things in the name of horny. Awkward body positions could be made comfortable by depraved adrenaline, and that was exactly what was happening right now, since there was no way in hell you were going to complain about Jungkook burying two fingers into you and sloppily rubbing your throbbing clit with his thumb. Not that you could say anything at all with him relentlessly thrusting his full-mast dick into your mouth (mhm, you just gushed down there, oh yeah, you felt that), rapidly building up his orgasm, deeply, slowly cutting off your air.

You could hold your breath a little longer.

(You could, in the name of lewd!)

And you were losing yourself in the pleasure, his fingers pumping in and out, fast and powerful, the wet slaps obscene, rocking your hips to his hand, tilting your head back as you sensed his body tensing up, his sounds ceasing into mute ecstasy and then.

“F-Fuck, yeeeeeees!”

He exploded (like… dynamite!), filling the back of your mouth with way too much cum (damn, his internal factories been working overtime), thick and heady and intense. Delicious. He stopped moving, soaking in the bliss, and you didn’t have a moment to swallow because you were too preoccupied hitting your own high, arching your spine, your eyes rolling back, your spasming pussy sucking in his fingers, sweat sticking to the top of your chest.

On instinct, you swallowed.

Too fast. Jungkook whined, pleading and desperate. Evidently, he seemed to figure out that you couldn’t control it since he didn’t react violently, only hitting the wall again (rest in disturbance, neighbors), screaming behind closed lips. You drew back a little, ghosting your tongue over the head, gently, and he moaned, drawn-out and wanton, clutching the headboard like a lifesaver as he was drowning in heavenly euphoria.

Wait.

His fingers were still stuffed into your pussy.

That meant he hit the wall with his forehead.

(Bro, you good?)

You couldn’t ask, but you patted his thigh to get his attention. After a moment of slow thrusting, you felt him try to move away (you sucked a little harder and Jungkook yelped at the oversensitivity,), and so you let go, only to be slapped in the face with his wet, half-hard cock.

“Ow.”

“Serves you right,” Jungkook shot back, sounding utterly drained. He still hadn’t moved his fingers from inside you. “How’d you wake up so fast?”

(‘Cause you’re not subtle, my lovely dummy.) “Mmmm, guess my mouth knows what to do when you put your dick in it.”

“Sus.”

He was stroking your wet pussy.

“What are you doing?”

“Touching your pussy, duh.”

You shifted your eyes and saw the fingers of his free hand wrapping around his hard cock. “Um.”

“What?”

“Nothin’, I was just thinkin’, ya know, I’m not very involved here.”

You were mocking his Busan accent and Jungkook growled, shoving another finger into you to express his irritation (wink wink). You didn’t react much except for grinning and spreading your thighs open more.

“Aren’t you sleepy? I’m thinking about your feelings.”

You were trying not to laugh at his poor attempt to be somewhat deadpan. Pretty difficult considering he was jacking himself off while fingering you. You clenched around his fingers and Jungkook hissed, whispering under his breath, again, and you did it again, fuck, feels so fucking good when you do that, ugh, and the fake spat was forgotten. Your hips rising, your hands fanning over your breasts, toying with your hard nipples, for you to melt and for him to watch, hotter, your chest tightening, biting your lip hard, the sting of pain deliberately delaying your rapidly building orgasm.

“Open your mouth, quick–”

You slid down and he shot thick, warm streams onto your tongue. Gasping and shuddering, those big eyes staring down at the amount (quite a lot, damn, proud of him) and you kept your cum-covered tongue extended, right up until you came onto his three fingers stretching you out, leaning your head back to let his orgasm hit the back of your throat as the first intense waves overcame you, strong flinches resonating up to your chest and head, swallowing and clamping your thighs shut around his muscular forearm.

A suspended, elated moment as you came down, gradually relaxing.

“Hah… fuck… uh…?”

Your tongue lazily snaked out and covered the tip of his softening cock, licking it off.

“Mmmm… ah, yeah…”

“How long you been planning that?” you asked without opening your eyes, squeezing his arm.

“I didn’t plan it.”

You could believe that. Jungkook didn’t plan shit. “Hmmmm…!”

“I swear!” He sounded like he was pouting. “I just happened to wake up really horny.”

This was not news. However, you continued to play dumb. “In the middle of the night?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“HMMMM!”

“What?! You’re naked!”

(Wait a second. Hold your oxen.) Your eyes snapped open. “Where are my panties?”

“Eh, I dunno.”

“Jungkook! You can’t just hide my panties whenever you want!”

(Yes, he can.)

“Uh, yeah, I can…!”

(Sigh.)

Your boyfriend’s teasing voice was sing-song and freaking annoying.

You shot up, and Jungkook was laughing, his short hair stuck up every which way (his bedhead was somethin’ fierce, so cute), backing up, and you saw your underwear on his nightstand, prompting a brief but rather titillating naked wrestling match. You lunged over him and Jungkook grabbed your waist, dragging you back with a prissy nuh uh, and you squirmed and twisted (probably turning him on, yup, you heard him moan a little just now), pawing for your panties. Somehow you hooked a leg over his shoulder, streaking a smear of your still-wet pussy over his built chest, and you attempted to sit on him. Repeatedly. Jungkook wasn’t making it very easy.

“Ow, damn, I worked out my chest today, come on!”

(If you insist.)

You stuck your tongue out to the biggest peepers glaring at you from below.

Then you got a great idea.

Brillant, really.

You sat on Jungkook’s face.

His big eyes shot open even wider and you had a moment of pre-nut clarity, since (um) your legs were a bit askew and you were half-crouching over him like a gremlin (not the hottest look), but in less than a second, Jungkook had his hands on your ass and lifted you up, planting your trembling pussy firmly onto his hungry mouth, shoving his tongue inside you. You gasped, clutching fistfuls of the sheets for some sense of stability. Meanwhile, your man was in a different dimension, groaning loudly under you and making your insides vibrate with his sound, jarring for a moment before you forgot whatever it was that had surprised you, oooh, damn, you couldn’t remember for the life of you what the heck you were worried about, too busy grinding onto his nose like a mate in heat.

(Ah… well, let’s not go there for today. Uh.)

Your panties were within reach, but you didn’t care, throwing your head back and moaning as you felt his tongue glide all over, rubbing against your clit, sucking on it noisily, more for effect than for pleasure, making you laugh, and then you melted into his hands, rocking your hips forward.

The palms of his hands pushed against your abdomen, and you realized his (big) nose was having trouble breathing (serves you right!), but after a moment of resisting on purpose, you leaned back, snickering at the gush of hot air washing over your crotch, his low moan trapped in his chest. He pinned your thighs in place, and you flexed them, feeling the power in his hands, shivering in delight at the sensations of his closed lips and swirling tongue, precise and careful and better than you remembered it. You pressed your hips into his mouth and he got the hint, putting more strength into it, there, ah, fuck, yes, Jungkook, clenching your core to hold yourself up.

Hey, you worked out too! (Okay, yes, it’s a stretch but we gotta take the small wins where we can.) Your ass was going to get sweaty at this rate (see!) due to how warm Jungkook was getting (oh…), but you sacrificed for the greater good (cumming on his face), consumed by the harsh rhythm of his tongue, closing your eyes, blanketed in lust-drunk darkness, your muscles tensing, clenching your jaw.

“Mmmm, yes, Jungkook, yes…!”

Strangely you could only now really feel the press of his two lip rings in the dip of your thigh, but perhaps that was because you were forcefully gripping his head and pressing your throbbing pussy into his mouth, moaning, your torso flinching strongly, throwing yourself forward with a gasp, another wave of your orgasm shooting up from between your legs, spreading all over your shaking chest and through your arms. Aaaaaaah. The high wound down, dissipating all over. Your limbs were giving the consistency of fruit jelly.

Delicious.

Actually.

You could use some bingsoo right now, to be honest.

Fuck, it was hot.

You let out an exhilarated exhale, lifting your hips (someone was smacking your thigh, how odd), and Jungkook gulped lungfuls of air, groaning, running his tongue up and down between your legs as you reached over and snatched up your underwear.

Truth was…

You had indeed been jostled awake to Jungkook fumbling around with your panties earlier. Even lifted your hips to help him out. You had known damn well what was coming. Ten minutes of him laying down next to you, his hand over your pussy, calmly caressing the outer lips. Allegedly, he innocently liked to touch your bits because your pussy was pretty. He just wanted to hold it before he went to sleep. Uh huh. Yeah, okay. Even if that was true (it was, how sweet), inevitably, his lizard brain would overcome him (and that it did) and you would soon end up in a compromising position (in this case, his dick in your mouth, mhm, talk about a midsummer night’s dream). If you hadn’t wanted it, you would have stopped him, but (not gonna lie) his dick was a very tasty midnight snack.

It was the weekend, so might as well give into the voices.

(He was probably getting you back for all the times you shook him awake at three in the morning to ride his hard dick, as he should. We’re all unhinged in this house.)

You got off him and Jungkook complained immediately, only to be shut up by you throwing the hand towel on your nightstand at him.

“You’re sweaty!”

“Whose fault is that?!”

“Yours, you horndog!”

“I didn’t tell you to sit on my face!”

“Oh, like your big peepers weren’t BEGGING for it!”

“Well, SOR-REEEE that I think my future wife is hot, what a CRIME!”

He was following (chasing) you to the bathroom. You attempted to close the door in his face and he shoved his naked booty in there with you despite your protests of needing to pee.

“So what! I’m looking!”

“You’re such a creep,” you accused (fondly).

You sat down on the toilet and did your business with Jungkook pointedly staring at you and you pointedly staring back. He was wiping down his shoulders. In the bathroom light, you could see his black hair was slightly damp from sweat. His forehead was glistening, droplets beaded on his skin. His pecs were indeed looking especially delectable today. You stared harder. He twitched and did the same, his big brown eyes making him look extra psycho. He raised the towel just a bit, and you jumped for the toilet paper.

“EY!”

You smacked his tattooed forearm. “Wipe your face!”

“This is the best part!”

“You’re gross,” you snapped, somewhat annoyed but also too used to it (this was the definition of being too comfortable with each other), finishing up neatly and quickly, flushing with a glare before getting up to wash your hands. “What weirdo stands there when a girl is going to the bathroom?”

He looked extremely offended and pouty. “Um, your future husband?”

“My future husband is a creep,” you chirped annoyingly, rinsing off your hands and drying them off.

“As I should be,” Jungkook shot back. “How else will you know I love you?!”

“By being, I dunno, nice and wholesome?”

“I am wholesome! That’s why you put up with me!”

You flapped your hands in mock exasperation.

“What would you do without me?”

Jungkook clasped a hand over his chest, all hilarious dramatics, putting on a solemn expression.

“Be full of cum and empty of heart.”

He placed the back of his hand over his forehead, pretending to sob. You fell into him in roaring laughter, wrapping your arms around him. He immediately showered you with kisses amidst giggles, the towel around his shoulders, flicking his sweat on you (freaking annoying), and you couldn’t ask for a better man. Jungkook could propose to you with a goddamn tempura onion ring and you’d say yes. You were only complaining to complain. It was fun to bicker knowing full well neither of you meant it.

That was how you knew this love was true and perfect.

(See, look at us, a wholesome lovey-dovey couple!)

You both had to spend several minutes standing in the apartment naked, enjoying the air-conditioning, wondering out loud if your neighbors heard anything, asking each other if, hm, maybe a house should be in the works at some point? The living room couldn’t always be Jungkook’s personal gym (yes, it could, he liked to work out while watching television and you weren’t gonna stop him). Anyway, you two might need space, later, just in case.

“You know you’ll have to control yourself if we end up having kids.”

Jungkook made a face of mock disgust. “They’ll have to know how they were made eventually.”

You facepalmed.

(We’ll have to work on it. Future you problem. Future you was a sucker. For Jeon Jungkook. Gross.)

--

masterpost

[mxtxfanatic]

Hi! If you don't mind me asking:

What does mxtx says about jc's character? Like some jc stans claim that she has said he has a knife tounge and tofu heart, (I don't believe it still) is it true? I don't know where to find her interviews, so I asked you instead:)

Thank you 💕

MXTX speaks on Jiang Cheng’s character in two places that I know: the old version of the postscript of the novel (absent from the official 7seas release) and an interview from before she left socials.

In the postscript, she only has this to say about Jiang Cheng:

Everyone should know what Jiang Cheng’s keyword is without me saying it. In the beginning, I thought with with XY’s [Xue Yang] existence, Jiang Cheng’s negative energy would definitely seem skimpy. Who knew he became the ultimate superstar of the comment section? Compared to him, XY was almost a poor, has-been idol. Only now and then would someone decide to drag him out again. Of course, in the end, under the combined PDA attacks of WWX and LWJ, the past and present superstars were obliterated.

And in this interview, she goes more in-depth. Sidenote: while I appreciate the interview for what it, I do not appreciate the ways in which they insert their own opinions about how they think MXTX should feel about Jiang Cheng into the actual interview commentary, and it shows how much of a bias even the interviewer had towards his character to have asked so many leading questions in an attempt to get a positive response out of her about him.

Anyways, here's some expansion by @jiangwanyinscatmom on the nuance of what mxtx meant by “not heinous/evil” that was lost in translation here and some more re-translation (still of the same interview as above):

墨香铜臭：本性不是特别坏，但是有人要讨厌他的话，那也没办法。因为你讨不讨厌一个人，也是……也是自己的问题。

He is not a 坏 (basically spoiled broken, corrupt) person by nature, but if someone wants to dislike him, there is nothing I can do about it. Because whether you dislike someone or not is also... your own choice.

MXTX's answer about why Jiang Cheng never could marry and how she sees him as a character (parenthesis section for jiangwanyinscatmom's own translation notes):

墨香铜臭：就性格比较差劲吧，谈了几个，吹了。 (He just has an 差劲 (average/lame/disappointing, let down) temperament, he dated several times but they were all failures) 墨香铜臭：我眼中的江澄……我眼中的江澄，就……其实没怎么样，我写文还是比较客观的。我看他……我看他就、就像是在看一个作品。 女主持：如果让大大本人来介绍江澄这个人的话，你会怎么介绍他？ 墨香铜臭：我觉得他是一个负能量比较……重……的人。 女主持：这么简单吗？ 墨香铜臭：对，负能量比较重，但是也不是个、也不是个十恶不赦的人吧。对。 MXTX: In my eyes, Jiang Cheng... In my eyes, Jiang Cheng is... Actually, it's nothing special. I am relatively objective when writing. When I look at him... When I look at him, it's like looking at a work of art. Female host: If you were to introduce Jiang Cheng, how would you introduce him? MXTX: I think he is a person with a lot of negative energy... Female host: Is it that simple? MXTX: Yes, he has a lot of negative energy, but he is not a heinous person. Yes.

In short: MXTX describes Jiang Cheng as a character that is filled with negativity and unable to date, but he is not inherently evil nor to the point of being irredeemable. He is a product of the story and fulfills the role he was created to fulfill in the plot. He's not a good person, not overtly and not secretly. That's it.

[depressedbagpipe]

Ka-Chaow (Charles Leclerc x female!reader)

Chapter two

Words: 3902 Warnings: google-translated italian, more mentions of alcohol, poor writing, me not knowing how the ferrari factory works A/N: alright so this has been long overdue so i apologize for that. also, i haven't been to maranello so everything i mention is basically from google maps. everything about the publishing industry i got from a random blog so just to be safe, don't trust anything i say about it ♥️ A/N (II): italics are phone calls, bold and italics are messages, just bold is the location, and (parenthesis) the translation for the Italian ;) Taglist: @heavengirls111, @roseamongthorns13, @mishaandthebrits, @charlesswife, @silscintilla

Series Masterlist Previous chapter <> Next chapter

Chapter two

Maranello, December 2nd, 2022

‘Wait, wait, wait, so then you’re attending the races?’

‘Yep.’

‘And you’re getting double passes if you ask for them?’

‘Affirmative.’

‘And you know you’re my favorite daughter?’

‘I’m your only daughter.’

‘Still.’

‘I’ll take you to Monaco.’

‘Dio, ti amo.’ (God, I love you)

‘Of course, you do,’ I giggled at my dad.

‘And how’s the trip so far?’

‘It’s… fine, I guess,’ I cringed, looking out the window.

The only sight I could catch from my balcony was the Ferrari factory in the distance, and the hotel’s parking lot on the other side. The views I had caught from the car ride from Bologna’s airport had been beautiful, but we hadn’t had any time to stop to look around.

‘Just fine?’ my dad wondered.

‘It’s not a holiday, papà, I’m technically working,’ I said with a sigh. 

I walked back and dropped on my bed, staring at the fancy ceiling of my hotel room. Although the flight to Bologna had been short, the lunch with Maurizio Arrivabene had been exhausting. Too many bottles of wine and too little discussion about the job, besides the promise of all the paddock access we wanted, as well as the finest wine bottles per Mr. Williamson’s request.

‘Still, you’re going to the track tomorrow, right?’ my dad asked again.

I moved my phone to my other ear, gently rubbing the sore nub after almost an hour of my dad’s nonstop gushing.

‘Yeah.’

‘What time?’

‘We get there at 11 am, I think. I don’t know if the tour will be before or after the meeting with the execs, though,’ I bit my lip, checking the time on my wristwatch.

‘Mio dio, everything is so early here compared to home,’ my dad groaned, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. (My God)

‘Well, not my fault you moved to London for love,’ I answered back.

‘Now you have to move to Italy in return so that we can complete the circle.’

‘Dad!’ I laughed loudly, despite my hand covering my mouth. It was a bit early in the evening, but I knew several guests at the hotel would not appreciate my yelling. ‘Alright, I’ll take you up on that.’

‘You better, chicken pie.’

‘Anyways, I think I’m gonna go. I’m actually exhausted.’

‘Too many emotions today?’

‘Yeah, and I gotta be up early for tomorrow.’

‘Wasn’t the meeting at 11 am?’

I frowned. ‘Yeah. But I still need to finish editing a couple of manuscripts. Do you happen to know anything about the types and uses of the cross symbol in Ethiopian religion?’

My dad took a couple of seconds to answer. ‘... No?’

‘Yeah, me either. Gotta learn a bunch of stuff for tomorrow.’

‘Well, call me when you know something.’

‘Will do,’ I laughed softly. ‘Buona notte, papà. Ti amo.’ (Goodnight, Dad, I love you.)

‘Ti amo di più, Principessa,’ with that, our conversation ended. (I love you more, princess.)

I stayed sprawled on my bed after throwing my phone on the comforter, closing my eyes for a few seconds. I knew I still had to unpack some clothes for tomorrow, recharge my laptop and work on the manuscripts, order dinner, make sure Mr. Williamson got the entire schedule right for the rest of the trip, eat dinner, and get a decent amount of sleep for the following day’s events. Despite my nerves, exhaustion was getting the best of me, and as soon as I felt myself drifting off, I willed my eyelids to open and my legs to move, standing up with a groan at my tired muscles. 

A couple of hours later I was already in bed, my fingers expertly typing away while my eyes begged me to finally close them and sleep. My laptop felt hot on my legs even over the sheets, but I couldn’t stop. Deadlines were approaching, and even though I willingly signed up for the trip, I still found the huge workload that still needed to be done frankly overwhelming, especially since I was working double during Mr. Williamson’s secret and unauthorized gap year. With a sigh, I kept typing until my eyes closed on their own accord. 

I didn’t even know at what time I fell asleep. It only felt like a few minutes until my phone was blasting the alarm as loud as possible. I carelessly reached for it with my eyes closed, hoping my fingers would find it early enough to turn the horrible sound off, but I only managed to slightly push the laptop away. Opening my eyes in a panic, I sighed in relief when I found no crack on the screen, the object still on my bed and not broken on the floor, but the alarm kept going, and not only that, but the hotel phone on my bedside table was also now ringing loudly.

Despite feeling like crying at that very moment, for not only was I not a morning person, but the extreme trauma of waking up mixed with the incessant noise coming from both sides of my bed was enough to almost send me into cardiac arrest. Grabbing my phone and quickly pressing the orange alert, I answered the call.

‘Hello?’ I asked, a yawn escaping my lips as I waited for the answer.

‘Good morning, Miss, this is Francesco speaking, from the front desk. Yesterday you asked us to please wake you up at 7 am,’ the worker spoke in perfect English.

I frowned, not remembering at all having done that, but then again, I didn’t remember most of the evening once I tried to recall how I fell asleep.

‘Oh, grazie, Francesco,’ I replied with another yawn. (Thank you.)

‘Would you like to have your complimentary breakfast sent to your room?’

I paused, enjoying the sound of that. ‘Sure, why not. What were the options, then?’

And that’s how I found myself having breakfast on the balcony, overlooking the blue horizon thanks to the lack of tall buildings around the hotel. I certainly missed the sky back in my London apartment, and it almost felt weird to have the sun shining so brightly on me so late in the year, but nonetheless, it brought some color to my cheeks as I feasted on the delicious biscuits I was offered. I allowed myself to calm down and enjoy the food, forgetting about my job and the likely still sleeping Mr. Williamson on the other side of the wall. As I waited for the breakfast to be brought, I had already taken a shower and gotten ready for the day and was simply enjoying the rather quiet life that the hotel’s location could offer. I did miss the people and the nightlife, but I already got a lot of it in London. 

Taking slow sips of my coffee, I finally got my phone out. I took a couple of pictures to send my mom, knowing she would be calling me in no time to check up on me and make sure I hadn’t caught a bug while I slept. Switching to Instagram, Alec’s face was the first thing that showed up. He had posted a video singing a new song, but I couldn’t will myself to listen to it just yet. His music was what brought us together in the first place, and for weeks I hadn’t been able to listen to his voice again. It was just too painful. 

‘Did you listen to his new song?’ I quickly texted Angela.

‘You won’t like it, though,’ she quickly responded.

I bit my lip. ‘Is it about me?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Is it bad?’ my fingers trembled slightly as I typed, suddenly feeling nervous.

‘I mean, it’s not good.’

‘You’re so helpful,’ I groaned, shivering slightly all of a sudden. 

A cloud had passed directly over the sun, taking the warmth with it. I stood up and walked back inside.

‘Text me when you listen to it. But wait until you’re back in London.’

‘Why?’

‘Don’t let it ruin your trip.’

‘Alright,’ I sighed and ended the conversation.

I shook my arms slightly, trying to find some physical way to let go of those thoughts, and swiftly got my laptop and sat down on the small desk by the window, and typed away my anxiety. 

I wasn’t a big fan of editing manuscripts, especially those about subjects I completely abhorred, but in the grand scheme of things, it somehow helped to leave my mind completely blank, making the time pass by even faster.

Before I knew it, it was 9:45 am. Another alarm went off, and with a final sigh, I saved my progress, put on some shoes, and left my room, only to go to the next door and promptly open the door with Mr. Williamson’s extra card. 

The sight did not surprise me in the slightest. He was still fast asleep on his bed, with the covers half-dangling from the sides and the mini bar half-empty. The room was completely dark save for the light coming from the open door.

I had to take a big deep breath before closing the door behind me and walking decisively towards the blinds, opening them wide, as well as his own balcony’s door, not even caring that the cold and wind could potentially make him sick. I was beyond the point of caring about his health when he clearly didn’t care about his.

‘Rise and shine, Stephen,’ I clapped loudly.

Mr. Williamson woke up with a start, groaning loudly.

‘It’s too early,’ he mumbled, flipping on the bed and pulling the covers over his head.

‘Hell, no,’ I said, grabbing the sheets and pulling them off from his body completely. ‘You’ve got an hour before the car arrives, so chop chop!’ I said as I opened his suitcase and started taking his belongings out, looking for some decent clothes. 

The night before coming to Italy, I had forced him to send me a picture of his luggage, knowing that, if it were up to him, he would show up in Crocs and Bermudas. It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had a meeting with him dressed like that.

Thankfully, Mr. Williamson listened to me and sat down in bed, still half-asleep, but at least I could work with that. I threw him his toilet bag.

‘Take a shower, God, you stink,’ I complained, grabbing him from one of his arms and pulling him up. 

I slightly pushed him in the direction of the bathroom, and he followed without another word. 

‘If you don’t come out in ten minutes, I’m getting in. And I’ll bring my phone!’ I warned him, hoping the warning would be enough for me not to see him naked. 

‘Jesus, you sound like my wife,’ he mumbled just before closing the door behind him. 

I looked around his room, and opted for taking the remaining alcohol from the mini bar with me, just to be safe. Even though the bottles were tiny, I didn’t trust my boss to somehow get wasted. I wasn’t about to risk my job and my career, especially in a foreign country. Out of habit, I checked my emails again, hoping to see Rosanna’s name somewhere with a publishing vacancy, but as usual, no new emails had been sent since that morning. 

My feet moved by themselves across Mr. Williamson’s room, putting his clothes on the bed, and even going as far as to call some room service for him. I was hoping the sleep and the shower would sober him up because I was anxious as hell about the meeting.

Not only was I a huge sports car fan, but the fact that we had been invited by Piero Ferrari himself to visit the factory, which I could now see from my room, and talk to all those developers who worked there with the same passion my father and I had, was completely mind-blowing. And I didn’t want anything to screw it up.

—

‘So that’s our proposal. Ink’n’Paper and Scuderia Ferrari, together, writing about the history and fame of our car. And we want you, Stephen, to write it,’ Benedetto Vigna finished his speech with a looming voice, staring directly at my boss with a light smirk.

Ferrari’s own CEO had welcomed us into the factory, walking us through the many impressive facilities, and showing us every detail of the place. To say I was awestruck would be an understatement. The museum was absolutely incredible, and the curators had even allowed me to take dozens of videos to send to my dad, which I knew was probably screaming and crying at the sight of them. 

The meeting had started an hour later under the pretext of getting down to business as soon as possible and with the promise of trying the Driving Simulator after lunch.

‘Well, certainly, I can’t say that I didn’t see this coming,’ Mr. Williamson replied, taking his glasses off. ‘And how were you thinking about doing this, Benedetto?’

‘We had a couple of ideas in mind, but I think it’ll be easier right now if you stay in Monaco with the team.’

‘Monaco?’ I blurted. ‘Sorry,’ I apologized in embarrassment, but thankfully Mr. Vigna didn’t seem to care.

‘It’s alright. No, we’re opening a new office in Monaco for the new season, and given that it’s certainly closer to Maranello than London, we think that the writing would be faster.’

‘What deadlines are we talking about here, then?’ Mr. Williamson asked.

Not an ounce of alcohol was in his system, at least that I knew of, and he was magically back to being the professional editor I had known him to be what felt like an eternity ago.

Mr. Vigna looked at his colleagues, all of them nodding amongst themselves. ‘Hopefully, we could have it by the winter break. You know, from a marketing point of view, every Ferrari fan out there would be definitely getting it for Christmas.’

Mr. Williamson took a sip of his espresso, carefully considering his options. Then, he looked at me. ‘What do you think?’

I widened my eyes. ‘Me?’

He nodded. ‘Yeah, you. You also work here, I want to know what you think.’

Any thought left my mind as soon as he said those words. Despite being used to taking over his meetings due to his many inebriated states, I was feeling rather intimidated by the situation. And, unlike Mr. Williamson, I had never published anything before.

‘Well, uh, technically December is a bit of a dead zone in the publishing industry.’

I spoke with a low voice, feeling anxious about debunking Mr. Vigna’s theory.

‘Is that so?’ he asked, but his tone was more curious than annoyed. 

That only encouraged me further. ‘Yeah. It’s usually September when we get all the workload. December kinds of get those less-interesting manuscripts from the bottom of the submissions box, and many workers just leave on vacation. We usually just… publish more volumes of the already best-selling ones, because those are the ones that get sold. The marketing would have to be insane if we want this book to make figures on Christmas.’

My comment was met with utter silence. I stared at all the people in the room, silently hoping for someone to talk because the embarrassment was already too high.

Mr. Williamson gratefully came to my aid, as weird as it sounded.

‘She’s right,’ he said, taking one final sip. ‘Either we push the deadline forward to September, or we spend a couple of millions on the marketing.’

Mr. Vigna seemed to consider our words after that. ‘Right, I certainly didn’t know that. Won’t September be too much of a short time for you?’ he looked back at Mr. Williamson, who quickly shook his head.

‘I don’t see why it’d be a problem. As long as we start as early as possible and are provided with all the materials we need…’ he looked up in deep thought.

‘And what do you need?’ one of the women at the other end of the desk spoke, pen already in hand, waiting to write anything down.

‘Certainly, we need access to any source of information about Ferrari. Whether is it the cars, the history, even the drivers, literally anything with the word “Ferrari” in it,’ he spoke. ‘Now, I got a tight schedule when writing biographies, and I need at least two months just to do the research. After that, the writing comes smoothly.’

‘Don’t forget the editing…’ I whispered loud enough for him to hear.

He waved me off. ‘It will take some time, though. You know I’m not that much of a Formula 1 enthusiast. I much rather prefer cricket,’ he said, standing up from his chair and buttoning his shirt.

With his clean suit and combed hair, he looked unrecognizable from the man I had found in his bed that morning. He looked put-together for the first time in months, and it brought me back to the first meetings of my internship, where everything he did was graceful and calculated. I felt oddly safe for the first time in months, knowing that, no matter how the meeting went, I had Mr. Williamson to guide us through the rubble and exit the building with an even straighter back and untouched dignity. I so wished every day at work felt the same.

‘But my assistant over here is, in fact, a remarkable connoisseur of the sport. What did you call it? Tifosi?’ he quickly looked at me, looking for confirmation. ‘She’s half Italian, in fact. I might have to delegate some of the work to her.’

I widened my eyes even more, his words leaving a huge pit in my stomach. My head felt suddenly numb, and my pulse increased as I recited his intentions.

‘In that case, Stephen, if you trust her to do the job, so do we. Obviously, if she agrees.’

I felt more eyes on me, and I gulped. I nodded slowly. ‘Yeah, I do.’

Benedetto Vigna smiled and brought his palms together. ‘Great! I’m sure you’ll be fine in Monaco,’ he stood up from his chair, signaling everybody to do the same. 

Mr. Williamson offered me his arm, given I was still in shock at Mr. Vigna’s words. Everybody started filing out.

‘Wait, what?’ I asked no one in particular.

‘I guess you’re going to Monaco,’ Mr. Williamson said as he lightly pushed me out of the room, pretty much in the same way I had done that morning to get him in the shower.

‘But… what about work?’

He frowned at me. ‘This is work.’

I didn’t have time to reply, for Mr. Vigna’s loud voice reverberated around the hall.

‘Now, I believed I promised you lunch and a Fiorano tour. Oh, and the Driving Simulator, too.’

—

Despite being a huge Formula 1 fan, I had never been to a race track. The only person I really wanted to attend a race with was my dad, and he was always a bit too busy, and the tickets were always a bit too expensive. Not coming from a large income family had definitely shut a few dreams down, hence why I had immediately started crying at the sight of the Fiorano track, where Ferrari tested their cars. Even though it was empty, the sheer sight of the huge lane was enough to bring tears to my eyes. Thankfully, the sun was shining down on us, and my eyes were hidden by my sunglasses, but I knew my face would soon become a bit too red for other people to notice.

Lunch had been fine, yet I was still thinking about Mr. Vigna’s words. Not only was I part of the project, but I had also been tasked with recollecting all information about the red Scuderia and its cars and history, all of it while I lived by myself in Monaco. I was dreading the conversation with my parents, knowing my mom would definitely not approve, as well as the high chances of me getting homesick as soon as I arrived at the small principality. 

But then again, maybe getting some time away from my life in London would do me good. Away from work, and Mr. Williamson, and Alec. I didn’t want to be the type of person that fled the country when they broke up with their partner, but I also knew that distance was my biggest ally at the time. I wasn’t completely sure how Mr. Williamson was gonna manage on his own while I lived elsewhere, but the thought of a quiet life for a few months in the quaint country was becoming more appealing by the second. 

I completely tuned out Mr. Vigna’s speech about the dimensions and characteristics of the track (not that I needed them, my father had made sure from a young age that I knew my blood was Ferrari red and Tifosi my middle name, although it certainly never was and it got us a very weird meeting with my elementary school headmaster after having written Tifosi as my middle name on several exams). If I had been paying more attention, I certainly would’ve noticed two familiar figures dressed in red polos walking toward us.

‘Charles! Carlos! Che bello che sei venuto!’ Mr. Vigna signaled the two men forward, and they quickly introduced themselves. (How nice that you came!)

‘¡Hola! Sono Carlos,’ Carlos Sainz Jr. extended his hand towards Mr. Williamson. (Hi! I’m Carlos.)

‘Nice to meet you,’ replied my boss, shaking his hand.

‘Hi,’ I smiled at him, trying to contain the excitement.

‘Hello,’ he gave me two kisses on both cheeks, and I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my lips. 

‘Sorry, I’m a big fan,’ my face felt even warmer, but I still didn’t take my sunglasses off, the big black crystals at least hiding part of my cheeks.

Carlos laughed. ‘It’s alright, usually everyone that comes to Fiorano is,’ he winked, and moved aside.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have favorites. I would also be lying if I said Charles Leclerc wasn’t one of them.

The slightly taller man stood right in front of me, smiling brightly. His head blocked the sun, allowing me to look at him in more detail as the rays fell around him, giving him an even bigger heavenly glow.

‘Ciao, I’m Charles,’ he too pressed two soft kisses on my cheeks, and I swear my heart stopped for a second when he came closer. (Hi.)

I took off my glasses and quickly introduced myself, hoping I didn’t sound like a lunatic gushing over her biggest celebrity crush standing right in front of her.

‘Ragazzi, l'intervistatore vi sta aspettando,’ a shorter woman came up behind the two drivers with a stressed look on her face. (Guys, the interviewer’s waiting for you.)

I frowned slightly, having the meeting cut short, but in hindsight, my heart was beating loudly in my ribcage out of nerves, and I didn’t want to make an even bigger fool of myself by standing there completely starstruck. 

They sadly left our group with a warm goodbye, and the rest of the day passed in a blur. 

Next thing I knew, I was on my bed, staring at the ceiling, failing to fall asleep due to the image of a pair of green eyes glistening in the sun embedded in my mind.

Next chapter

General taglist: @angiewhoohooo, @azaleaniath, @mishaandthebrits, @celestialcharles

[m0llygunn]

Can we have a sneak peak of chap 2 BWB?

yes we can!! almost 600 words of sneakily peeking, enjoy!! (also i think we need a consensus on the name cause its already been called so many things, which i acknowledge is my fault because of all the unnecessarily fanciful parenthesis lol but i've been using fwbb (friends with baby benefits), if chill lmk

───── ⋆⋅୨୧⋅⋆ ─────

“It’s almost nine now, so it’ll be ready at…”

“9:20,” you say when Eddie takes a concerning amount of time doing the math. The ride home was quiet. Being out of the fluorescence helped your nerves, and as you got further and further away from the pharmacy, and closer and closer to Eddie’s place, you started to feel normal again. 

“I knew that, I was just… thinking,” he responds. He sits up from where he was crouching in front of the dresser, using it as a table to put together the test. 

Decidedly, it was just nerves that had put you on edge, that’s it. The test is nothing but precautionary, just to rule out what could have made you sick. Eddie joins you, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Uh— before, we get a response,” he pauses, wringing his hands together. His eyes move down to his lap and your chest tightens. “I just want to say that whatever it is… I don’t regret what we did… and whatever it is, I’ll be there… for my girls.” 

He looks at you, his smirk widening by the second, and you can’t help the snort of laughter from escaping. Like every other ill-timed joke that he's pervasively told over the last month or so, he gets you, and you appreciate it this time as it lessens the gnawing feeling in your belly.

Despite the joke, when you really look at him, with his lips spread in a smile, his eyes swarm with the same trepidations that you feel. He’s a comedian but even the comedian is human. You try your hand at lightening the mood. 

“What if it’s not a girl?” you ask, playing along. He smiles, bumping his shoulder into yours as he huffs a breath from his nose. Shaking his head in an almost mirthful way, you think you were successful, until his demeanour drops into something serious. 

“What did you mean earlier?” he asks, “When you said that it doesn’t feel like you ate something bad?”

“I just— I don't know. I just, I thought I had a feeling,” you explain. Eddie hums, eyes now set forward on the test. “I think I was just nervous, that’s all.” 

Twenty minutes has never felt longer. Eddie accepts your answer at face value but doesn’t do much to show it. He doesn't do much in general, and neither do you. At the ten minute mark, his hand found your knee. At the fifteen minute mark you were curled under his arm, resting your head on his chest as he rubbed up and down your arm. In the last minute, you had taken his hand in yours, playing with his fingers as you watched the seconds tick by on his casio watch. 

9:19:59 turned to 9:20:00, and you turned to Eddie. Synchronously and in silence, you parted from each other. He stood and you sat. He moved to the dresser, and you held your breath. 

With his back facing you, you watch with unblinking eyes as he reaches for the instructions. Humming to himself, your lungs ache. You try to parse the meaning behind his tone, or vibration, or pitch— or anything that could give way to what he's seeing, but it’s far too vague. Taking a deep and vital breath, filling your begging lungs with air, you're just about to ask what it is, mouth already open, lips already forming words, when he speaks.

“It says negative.”

“It says negative?” you parrot in disbelief.

“Negative.” Eddie answers firmly.

─────────

[shadowkoo]

mini requests

open | CLOSED

Hi! I'm opening my requests for the first time in nearly three years! I'm hoping by doing this sort of drabble game / mini fic requests that I can ease my way back into writing after my long hiatus. If you are interested in sending in a request, please continue reading for all the details. Thank you!

Rules + Requirements :

Follow me (if you are not already)

Reblog this post (boosts are appreciated)

Must be 18+ (minors please dni)

To Request:

Choose a group & member (1 only please)

Pick a genre (max of 3)

Select a prompt (max of 2)

Visit my askbox and use a similar format like this: "Can I request Taehyung (BTS) fluff, smut, and coworkers au with prompt #4"

*please make sure that you include the group in parenthesis after stating which member you're requesting

Groups + Members:

BTS - Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook

EXO - Kai, Baekhyun, Sehun, Chanyeol, Chen, Suho, Kyungsoo, Xiumin, Lay

NCT - Taeyong, Taeil, Johnny, Yuta, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Ten, Winwin, Kun, Jungwoo, Mark, Xiaojun, Hendery, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Yangyang, Jisung

SVT - Vernon, Mingyu, Jeonghan, Wonwoo, Minghao, Woozi, Joshua, Hoshi, Junhui, Seokmin, Seungcheol

GOT7 - Jinyoung, Jackson, Bam, Yugyeom, Mark, Jaebeom, Youngjae

ATEEZ - Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Yeosang, San, Mingi, Wooyoung, Jongho

MONSTA X - Shownu, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Hyungwon, Jooheon, Changkyun

STRAY KIDS - Bang Chan, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin

Genres + AUs:

Fluff

Smut

Angst

Enemies to lovers

Friends to lovers

Friends with benefits

Roommates

College

Coworkers

Meet Cute

Meet Ugly

Athlete (you may specify in your request)

Exes

Idol

*idol au means that they will be depicted as their real identities (as actual kpop idols & famous celebrities)

Prompts:

"Don't look at me like that. You know what that does to me."

"I wish I never met you."

"It's your lucky day."

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I can't stop thinking about you."

"Open your mouth."

"Why do you even care?"

"You're more important than you think."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Please leave."

"That's my final answer."

"Did you see that?" "See what?"

"What do you want from me?"

"God, you look so fucking good."

"You're unbelievable."

"Isn't that your mom?"

"I swear I've seen your face somewhere before."

"You're such a tease."

"Don't you dare lie to me."

"Who are the flowers for?"

"Don't forget that we're in public, baby."

"Are you scared? You should be."

"Please say something. Anything."

"Do you forgive me?"

"You forgot."

"You're crazy and I like it."

"Where are you taking me?"

"I think I'm in love with you."

"I need you. Now."

"What did you say?"

"Did you miss me?"

"I dare you."

"I bought you something."

"Is it supposed to taste like that?"

"Ew. Why does it look like that?"

"Baby are you close?" "No but the Uber is."

"How many doughnuts can I stack on it?"

"This is why no one likes you."

"Put your dick away, this is a Lowe's."

"Stop yelling at me!" "You’re panicking, you’ll crash the car." "It’s not everyday a demon crawls out of your trunk!"

"Who the fuck did I marry?"

This is the fifth letter you will write to them, and it will not be the last.

Six days after they left, the ticking behind the wall began.

A mob boss with a black eye and a jagged scar over his wrist sits alone in a dingy motel room. The kitten stares at him affectionately, oblivious to the danger they both are in. Oblivious to the mess it caused.

It happened concurrently, and so quickly. The moon started getting closer and brighter in the sky, and you started hearing them in the radio static.

With a palpable fury, the demon turns to you, ignoring the rubble of your kitchen, and sneers. "How did you summon me? You've pulled me out of chains centuries old." Frantically, you skim through your cookbook. "I don't know! I was trying to make soup!"

They held out a hand, an echo of the melody playing from their fingertips. "The world seems to dance to your tune," they spoke, their voice a captivating blend of amusement and intrigue. The silence that followed was heavy with unspoken questions.

Sometimes you question how everything could have turned out if that day had gone differently.

Chills creep down your spine as you peek through the cracked doorway. You're not supposed to be witnessing this. They'll kill you if they find out.

Free Space - send in your own prompt! Please keep it relatively short!

Disclaimers:

Not every request may be fulfilled, it is up to my discretion.

Word count may vary between requests (300 to 3k, etc.).

Unless requested otherwise, all fics will be written as female reader insert.

Please refer to the top of the original post to know whether requests are open or closed (reblogs may show something different).

Things I will NOT write: suicide, self-harm, animal abuse, underage sex, pedophilia, incest, vore, rape, non-consensual, or dubious sex.

[danglovely]

Regrading Taskmaster: S05E08 Their water's so delicious. and Series Five Winner.

*Score changes noted in parenthesis.

Goodbye Series Five, you will be missed. Also, I think I may get a bit too verbose, so feel free to TLDNR.

Prize Task: The Most Awkward Item For Somebody Else To Take Home

I gotta say that there are some A+ submissions in this one. Bob goes for a pretty baseline political joke which I would describe as uninspired. Sally bringing in balloons creates a fun thing to do on the stage at the end of the episode and I do appreciate that. However, Nish and Mark are the tops here. A bathroom would be harder to get home than a bunch of curry.

Aisling: 2 Bob: 1 Mark: 5 Nish: 4 Sally: 3

VT 01: Get this coconut as far from here as possible. You may not touch the ground. You may not step on anything more than once. The coconut may not travel by car.

There's a list of restricted items you can send to Fiji.

This is interesting because "the ground" can mean different things in different contexts. One could imagine a game of "The Floor is Lava" where stepping on the carpet might not feel like it's in the spirit of things.

Alex breaks it down in studio by explaining that it is okay for him to step on the carpet, but when he leaves it he can't return. I think I get the heart of what he's going for, but it's a messy rule. Nish appears to shuffle his feet a bunch of times on the carpet, but Mark is the only one who gets disqualified.

There's another question in whether you measure the maximum distance the coconut ever got from the living room or just where it ended up at the end of the task. It really doesn't feel like Sally got her coconut to the post office in the allotted time (especially since it couldn't travel by car).

Furthermore, Alex said Aisling got it further than Bob but for some reason Bob got 4 points.

All this said, there are so many problems here that I think I have two choices: (1) Defer to the original scoring. (2) Completely discredit the task. Seeing as this task never seemed particularly controversial, I'll defer to the original scoring but switch Bob and Aisling.

Aisling: 4 (+1) Bob: 3 (-1) Mark: DQ Nish: 2 Sally: 5

VT 02: Create the best graph.

I'll fill his boat with piss.

What constitutes the best graph? The most important factors would probably be interesting subject matter, accuracy, and ease of comprehensibility.

Nish's graph is easy to understand -- spending time with him is fun at a 1:1 ratio . . . although who knows what units of fun are measured in. It's also clever because he uses himself as the y-axis and makes the thing vertically. It's not a particularly interesting subject, but it's fine.

The point Mark is trying to make is that individual politics is an incredibly small factor when held up against the vastness of eternity. I believe it's supposed to be a bar graph, but the scale is intentionally done poorly to help effectuate the point so I'm not sure. It's kind of ambiguous what the y-axis is measuring (there's a percentage symbol, but percentage of what?). Greg dismisses it because he immediately forgot the subject matter and I am in agreement that it wasn't an amazing effort.

Sally's graph compares how much sex she gets versus how much sex she wants over the course of time. It's easy to understand and I would be bold enough to say it's interesting subject matter. The only downside is that she builds it out of a variety of different objects, so it's not very pretty.

Aisling's graph is attempting to compare the number of women and men on Taskmaster by series. The data is pretty easy to visualize, even without a graph: 1/5, 1/5, 1/5, 2/5, 2/5. Lots of problems here. The lines shouldn't start at zero (unless we're including Edenborough as Series Zero), the show didn't begin with more women than men in the cast, and the lines should be flat for the first three series then adjust beginning with Series Four. This is an easy last place.

Bob does a bar graph of units of piss by county. I can't verify it's accuracy, so I'm giving it five.

Aisling: 1 (-2) Bob: 5 (+1) Mark: 2 (-1) Nish: 4 (-1) Sally: 3 (0)

Solo Task: Make the most fish puns.

I just thought you were bad at speaking.

I almost want to give Sally a point for the unfairness of it all. Alex did not make his puns in a minute, he made them over the course of days. No points for either of them.

Sally: 0 Alex: 0 (-5)

VT 04: Write and perform a song about this woman.

Do we strike you?

This is an obvious contender for the best task in the entire show. I think the opinions on this one are pretty well settled. The team of three writes a very funny and unhinged song, but Mark and Nish absolutely knock it out of the park. Greg was still splitting points here so the team of two somehow only get three for the best creative work anyone has produced on the show.

I really really want to give them five, but absent a disqualification four is the maximum.

Aisling, Bob & Sally: 1 (-1) Mark and Nish: 4 (+1)

Live Task: Throw the egg through the hoop and catch it as many times as possible. You may not touch the net or post.

This looks pretty straightforward.

Alex blowing the whistle and Nish immediately losing his egg is the funniest, most predictable thing ever. For some reason Aisling starts the task standing on the base of her hoop, so she definitely touched it. By the end, Bob is the only one who pulls off a successful throw and catch.

As unfair as it seems, logistically the other four contestants should probably be put into joint second. Aisling should be disqualified, but I read this one as disqualification stopping score accumulation rather than outright losing you the task.

Aisling: 4 (+4) Bob: 5 (0) Mark: 4 (+4) Nish: 4 (+4) Sally: 4 (0)

F I N A L

Aisling: 12 (+2) Bob: 15 (-1) Mark: 15 (+4) Nish: 18 (+4) Sally: 16 (-1)

Oh my god, I gave Nish a win.

S E R I E S F I N A L

Aisling: 119 (-7) Bob: 125 (-13) Mark: 129 (-1) Nish: 115 (+8) Sally: 124 (-6)

I triple checked my math because I in no way thought I'd have Mark beating Bob. I think it ultimately boiled down to evaluating what he did objectively whereas Greg enjoyed randomly docking him for laughs. Even so, I was pretty sure Bob was going to win so this is a stunner.

In the end, I gave Nish two more episode wins than he had in the real show. Aisling never ended up getting one (losing that tiebreaker with Mark hurts).

With that, I can say goodbye to Series Five. Series Six is next and it's worse, but I won't let that stop me. If I end up doing a regrade of Champion of Champions, it'd likely be after everything else. It's taken me six months to get through five seasons and they get longer from here, so it'll be interesting to see if I'm still plugging away at it by then.

Anyway, having gotten through five seasons, my version of Champion of Champions would have been Josh, Richard, Dave, Hugh, and Mark. I'd honestly say we're better off with the cast that we got.

[findroleplay]

hello!! 18nb looking for long term roleplay partners anywhere from 17 to 19 for my own comfort! i prefer nb roleplay partners as well, but as long as it's not an issue to said partner, i am perfectly fine with anyone.

please also be willing to communicate, i've had to leave possible roleplay partners due to lack of communication and will do it again, if needed.

i use an omniscient, third-person writing style, with quotation marks, and without asterisks, parenthesis, slashes, ect. for actions. i am not expecting perfect grammar/spelling as i understand everyone's human and hope for the same understanding.

i am mainly looking for oc x oc roleplays of all genres but safe for work until we have a chance to talk and get to know each other better. i do also prefer to get to know someone better before doing fandom cc x cc roleplays as well. i am okay with mxm, fxf, mxf, nbxm, nbxf, nbxnb, most anything!

i don't have many triggers, mostly they depend on what kind of roleplay is happening with my partner and prefer to talk about boundaries/triggers while in the planning stage.

feel free to either like this and i'll reach out through tumblr, dm me yourself, or add me over on discord; my user is chatnops, just please do let me know if you came from this post when you friend/dm me over on discord!

i am a diagnosed did system and am somewhat busy with online school for heads up about possible time gaps/inconsistencies of writing styles. i appreciate everyone's time, thank you! <3

-

[digitalgate02]

Character ask game: DAISUKE!!!! 21 26 27 29

[ask meme list]

(excellent choice~ I like to talk about my boyo~)

21- When do you think they were at their happiest?

I think Daisuke's happy when he's with the 02 group, and with his family. Note that despite any clashes he has with them, he never expressed any negative feelings in the sense of "I wish I wasn't friends with [character]/I wish I wasn't Jun's brother/I wish I had other parents" -- he even admitted he was happy with what he got. Therefore I don't trust whoever headcanon or claim that the Motomiya parents & Jun are toxic/abusive. Or that the 02 group/older six only bully Daisuke -- a healthy tease between friends is OK, and Daisuke is easily to be teased imo so i don't blame the group for liking to make him go all pout and screaming angry Daisuke noises.

Daisuke is happy when he’s with those he deeply loves and they all appreciate and love him in return. Be it making plans to eat ramen around the world, or a simple soccer match where his team loses, what makes Daisuke happy is sharing the moment with people. Meeting new people, reconnecting with old people… He’s pretty happy and i’ll fight the world for him.

26- When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

For 02 series, I think he was being himself the moment he wanted to help Ken out. In HT the moment he shed tears with Wallace by imagining an ���what if” scenario where he had to face the same problem Wallace had been dealing with. His kindness for Natchan and not judging her when she reveals to be a digimon… Daisuke might be abrasive outside, but inside he’s a person who deeply cares about the others, and this is where he shines the most in the middle of the chaos and misfortunate events.

As for Kizuna/02TB, I think the best way to depict him is the drama CD where he’s definitely wanting to go on a trip with EVERYONE and even forgot his original reason to do so. And then, at the end he’s just himself… enough to make Hikari-chan notice how cool he is.

27- If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

YA KNOW, i’d like him to meet Irisawa Kiriya from Futari wa Precure, Because he’s voiced by the same VA (Kiuchi Reiko). And I think he would’ve been friends with the characters written by Maekawa too, like Ozu Kai/MagiRed (Mahou Sentai Magiranger) and Momozono Love/Cure Peach (Fresh Precure!). They’re… basically "Daisuke-coded" characters imo!

Also IDW Sonic’s Silver because he’s a cutie-pie 🙂 Silver there is very Daisuke-branded imo.

(i've drawn Daisuke with Kai a few times before tho -- there's a few older in Kai's tag tho)

29- How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

Gosh… Dadsuke probably is a cool dad. The kind of dad who’s sort of responsible, careful and nice. I mean, ep 24 had proved that Daisuke can be good with kids. So i think his son got all the love and care of the world. Heck, i think even he gives enough care to his wife-or-husband. I don’t have many headcanons in my mind, so i’ll end this answer here.

(yes i'm rejecting the parenthesis alt question.)

[k-zuzu]

k-zuzu introduction 𖹭

call me zuzu. i am 𝖺 19-𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋-𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗉𝗂𝗇o. 𝗂 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗌 (𝗂 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆) i swear a lot and this blog is aimed at mature/18+ audiences! if any minors want to follow or interact, i highly encourage you to avoid interacting with any of my explicit works. thanks! i am an enthusiastic person, so don't mind my many exclamation points and hearts<333

i am a ravenclaw, a pisces, a theater student, and a self-taught digital/traditional artist and writer! i wake up everyday and choose to be better and improve myself and my skills. i am always open to receiving constructive criticism but i hope people will be nice about it. And I will call you people "boss" or "ssob" just because.

i am a certified anime and kpop enthusiast<333 [anime masterlist and k-pop masterlist]

i won't write: incest, kidnapping/stockholm syndrome, yandere, noncon/rape, bodily fluids other than cum/period blood/spit, somnophilia, necrophilia, omegaverse/hybrid/vampire/demon au's, member x member.

i might consider some if it's for the plot and not any weird kinks or fetishes! nonetheless, i have the right to reject your request if i don't want to. in other cases, i do read some like hybrid au's but sometimes i just can't write them.

writing 𖹭

i've been on tumblr since 2022 but i've decided to take my blog more seriously this year/2024. my goal is to reach a wider audience and share my art/works with as many people as possible. what opened me up to this was ateez. any help in achieving my goal would be greatly appreciated :D comments, reblogs, and requests are always welcome and open! i love it when people express their interest and want me/trust me to write out their fantasy.

my writing style consists mostly of intentionally lowercase works and my personal commentary in parenthesis. idk if i should stick for past tense or present tense writing so i do both. (i.e "she said" or "she says") sometimes i make the mistake of switching it up in the same fic, i can't help it!

i mostly work on my phone for both writing and drawing but use the laptop from time to time. grammarly is a big help for me but i try my best to stay authentic.

if i make long fics with smut or plots with porn, i will try my best to make an sfw version for those who don't want to read the smut or swear words and i'll link them on the same post!

i don't know how many of you take it when i use korean or japanese words/slang/phrases/honorifics (i.e "ya, mingi-hyung!" or "hello, oikawa-kun~") in my works so i will try my best to avoid it.

favs 𖹭

my ult k-groups are: ateez, stray kids, tomorrow x together, and seventeen.

my biases are: jungkook (first ULT), jhope, jongho (ULT), changbin (ULT), taehyun, hueningkai, hongjoong, san, minghao, vernon, hoshi, s.coups, and jay but i will always be ot8, ot5, ot7, and ot13, etc lol.

for anime, i love haikyuu, chainsaw man, and jujutsu kaisen! my forever love will always be my bananamin.

k-ZUZU MOODBOARD 𖹭

zuzu's note: that's pretty much it! i will update this from time to time<33 thanks for reading!

[anthonybialy]

Buffalo Bills Wasting Potential to Its Fullest

Life can change quickly.  Take going from a Super Bowl contender to a present playoff outcast.  Squeaking in looks like it’ll be too much to ask while play speaks so loudly.  The Buffalo Bills are settling for underachieving.  They’ve sunk to the depth where observers wonder if they were that good to begin with.  Anyone fretting the game was destined to become a shootout is unfamiliar with one offense’s ability to somehow both run too much and not enough.

The Bengals took on Josh Allen.  He only has so many superpowers, a limitation exacerbated by supervisors who seem curiously invested in keeping him from maximizing his wall-climbing.  Sean McDermott is like a dim editor cutting jokes and adding unnecessary parenthesis to your work then wondering why the reaction fell flat.  A one-man game doesn’t negate Buffalo’s quarterback trying his hardest, although the result does just that.

Like Obi-Won Kenobi, Allen’s the only hope.  He has to order what’s not on the menu to get anything tasty.  Coaching and management have combined to clip his wings while giving him subpar blocking, ineffective rushing, and a paucity of target options.  Everyone but those who can fix it senses this isn’t right.

How much is one person supposed to do?  It’s not a challenge.  Mike Tirico mentioned Allen’s fondness for both Sinatra and Elvis, who happened to be the two pop singers with the greatest sustained success of the 20th century.  Their biggest common career characteristic was something neither did, namely write their own songs.  Putting their spin on material was all that was asked of such singular interpreters.  By contrast, Allen has to create his own material.  

Why not take the ball if this is the defense you’re facing?  Setting the tone begins with the coin flip if you’re playing McDermott’s team.  He should fire whoever is his defensive coordinator.  Oh.  At least he’s good at offense.  Oh.  The sideline CEO is too busy making suspect choices as head coach to adjust the defense.

Remember when the Bills didn’t have to care about how good the punter was?  The Chris Farley Show lives on in the nostalgic outlook Bills fans must adopt to cope.

A series of mistakes sets off a chain reaction.  Dalton Kincaid fumbling away any hope of benefiting from the offense finally getting rolling created so much anguish because it was the team’s last real chance.  Earlier squandered drives build tension.  Relying on any one moment to go perfectly results from playing imperfectly for so long.  The Bills are like a degenerate gambler who needs a parlay to hit in order to afford continued living in a dwelling.  If you see Ken Dorsey asking for spare change, keep walking.

Gabe Davis is a worthy second option every couple games.  He’s the Ed Oliver of the offense.  As for a future Hall of Famer who’s done nothing since his return, Von Miller finally made himself noticeable when he played bullfighter.  The offensive line blocks like he tackles.  The season’s most prominent missed stop is the one time he’s been as visible as while wearing gold in that Progressive commercial.  Flo is less annoying.

You know things are going poorly when Bills fans miss Brian Daboll.  His coordinating reign didn’t go completely smoothly.  But memories of comparably happier times make slightly less crummy olden times seem joyous by comparison.

The Bills discovered plutonium by accident and aren’t following through.  A primetime game should be a chance to appreciate anticipation.  Instead, we dreaded the approach.  It doesn’t take psychic abilities to sense struggling was on the schedule.  Anyone who had a bad feeling the game would unfold like this is simply perceptive about patterns.

People can be thankful for the important thing that didn’t happen while lamenting the relatively inconsequential result.  Last season’s regular-season game against Cincinnati would have resulted just like this if it had not been interrupted by the most harrowing moment in club history.  Damar Hamlin serving as a healthy scratch is is the only outcome that really matters.  But we can still shake our heads at another underwhelming effort while bearing in mind life features more important things than sports.

Getting back to hating the Bengals offers small comfort.  Now, I’m just jealous.  They not only won but have both Bootsy Collins on their side and enough sense to put a football stadium in its namesake city.

Making taxpayers fund a venue that’ll be again stuck in the suburbs is just one of countless ghastly ownership screwups.  This is clearly not the coaching staff that will take the Bills further just like it’s clear they’ll keep their jobs.  Letting Allen’s career go to waste is exacerbated by seeing it happen in real time.  He’s suffering like fans.

You’re more likely to locate a successful Dorsey drive than any sense Terry Pegula either cares or would remedy the problem properly if he did.  His solution for the longest playoff drought in league history was to hire a first-time NHL head coach and a first-time general manager, so he’s decided saving money is the true victory.  Wasted talent is ownership policy.  Restricting Allen shields him from major bruising, which means he’d be healthy if they don’t make the playoffs.

[the-rockstar-lestat]

Assuming its not for negative reasons...how should said person feel about the comparison? - anon who totally hasnt been told by several people that they wouldnt be surprised to find out they are a vampire

Ah! That's different then. I don't imagine you're a blood sucking parasite, the way we often jokingly compare ourselves to Bezos and his like.

(I want to parenthesis here. Many, if not all of us, are rich. Quite a few of us are millionaires. Armand, I think, currently has the record, with Seth close behind him. Bezos could buy all of us out and then some without thinking. )

I imagine that those who compare you to our kind probably do so because they find you interesting. Do you have oddly nocturnal habits? A unique sense of fashion not wholly from this century? A tendency to talk about historic events like you were there? A flair for drama? (A tendency to cause the drama...) Are you, perhaps, pale? It often comes down to that for mortals.

Due to our society's obsession and sexualization of vampires (I see you, Thirsty Anons my beloveds....) I can only imagine this as a compliment. Even if it's said by some Regina George wanna-be who means to call you weird, I really can't imagine that someone else would appreciate it.

So take it as a compliment my dear! And if you DO turn out to be a vampire....I'll be waiting.

[quickreaver]

First off, thanks to the OP for not being weird fanpol! I appreciate that muchly. So, I'm filling out this fandom bingo and I've had this post open on my dash for a bit; I'm gonna use the “interact with meta” square and take a stab at replying. Apologies to OP if you didn't want engagement. I won't be a complete asshat, I promise.

I see the “toxic codependency” assessment all the time (usually from shippers of the opposing stripe) and I'm not sure that's exactly what Sam and Dean have got going on? Both of them have lived apart for chunks of time successfully, but they always choose to return to each others side eventually. Sam and Dean absolutely do a lot of things that—if they happened IRL—we'd side-eye and slowly step away from. Outside, looking in, they're feral. Too good looking, blood under their fingernails, Americana urban legends that're wired just a little bit … wrong. But that makes for an interesting universe. SPN started as a horror show, with it's roots firmly entrenched in family tragedy. But to assert that they were always bad for each other and their lives didn't end happily, well, not sure about that? No, they didn't move on to rosy relationships apart from each other (willingly), but they did wind up in Heaven together, smiling, reunited. Completed, not trapped. Why is this not HEA? In SPN, there are obviously multiple planes of existence (of which the lead characters were well aware), and just because one existence ended in death (as the material plane always will), doesn't mean Dean didn't find happiness in Heaven. Pretty sure he did. (Because honestly, we're talking Dean here, right? He's the character that's in the middle of the SPN shipping tug-o-war.) (Wow, I like parenthesis!) But okay, this is something many of us will have to agree-to-disagree on. So let me switch to unpacking the idea of the “toxic codependency”. I posit that without flecks of it, these two guys would never have survived childhood. And given that they stayed in the hunting life, wouldn't have survived that either, not without that other person who had their back unconditionally, knew 99.9% of their deepest darkest secrets, and grew up in the same counter-culture society hidden from the daylight workaday world. They shared the same covert knowledge, lexicon, and understanding of the frailties of human life. They could never have been normal. They knew demons existed and despite retirement, always would. See: Sam convincing his son to get The Tattoo. Was it really “toxic codependency”? Or was it survival and choice? Who was it really toxic to? Not Sam and Dean. Wincest was never going to happen on the show, of course it wasn't. This ain't HBO. But the devoted, unbreakable platonic bond they had was clearly as powerful as any romance. It's just a different flavor of love, y'all. And it's okay, really. Not every story has to end with rings and a white picket fence.

One day I'll have the spoons to write my full thoughts on Wincest and why almost all fandom takes on it frustrate me. My opinion is that there's a strong Wincest subtext in the show, especially in the earlier seasons, and therefore I roll my eyes when fellow Destiel shippers go 'ew ew ew how could you THINK that' because... it is very much in the show. But I can't bring myself to ship it, either, because it's very clear to me that Wincest does exist and it is the tragedy of the show. Like, Sam and Dean are trapped in a codepentent toxic relationship. The happy ending for them is learining to form independent relationships with new people outside their claustrophobic little family. To be super clear, I don't think people shouldn't ship it, but I do think that wanting it to be canon means rooting for a tragic ending. Which, you do you, but I like happy endings.

[sorceressferaly]

No, I do not believe this makes sense.

While I appreciate that this is mostly meant as a joke about the never-changing climate of Jorvik due to the limitations of the game (similar to the running joke about how there’s no moon in Jorvik), there is no way a “real” Jorvik would have these kind of temperatures.

Global warming jokes aside, Jorvik is an island in the Atlantic, said to be located somewhere in between the north coast of the British Isles, Iceland and Norway. As anyone living on the islands in that region, say, the Faroe Islands, can tell you - the Atlantic winds are cold.

However, for absolutely no reason other than that it amuses me, I thought it would be fun to figure out what the climate of "real-life” Jorvik would look like.

Some presumptions that I’m going to make for this:

This is only considering Jorvik in the summer. The winters are likely mild, but on average colder. Not to mention darker.

Jorvik does have an inherent mystical magic that brings a warmer climate than the island realistically should have. This magic is stronger in certain regions than others. 

People reading this may not be familiar with the Celsius scale, so I will be providing USA units in parenthesis when mentioning specific degrees. (If I miss making a conversion somewhere, you can approximately convert by doubling the celsius number and adding 32.)

And as a disclaimer: This isn’t meant to mock anyone at the SSO social media making this joke. I thought it was funny! And I just find it fun to build on it and take it more seriously than anyone expected. 

Finally, we have to guess regarding the approximate real life size and position of Jorvik. From the information available, I have chosen to place it here:

(Credit to SSO forum user SSO Theory Time for the general shape of the island.)

But… that would put it right on top of the Faroe Islands! That can’t be right, can it? 

Well, I don’t recall the Faroe Islands have ever been mentioned in any lore related to SSO, despite the fact they should be Jorvik’s closest neighbor!

Could it in fact be the case, that in this world in which Jorvik exists, this island takes up the space that is occupied by the Faroe Islands in our reality? 

Probably not! If we ask SSE, Jorvik is likely a bit north or west of the Faroe Islands. But on the other hand, that would contradict the established position of Jorvik, there is nothing that really contradicts this assumption, and it sure makes it easier to compare temperatures. So I’m going to roll with it. Congratulations, Faroe people, you are citizens of Jorvik!

So then, what is the average temperature of the Faroe Islands in the summer?

Well, that’s significantly lower than presented. This chart shows the July averages with a high of 13°C (55,4°F)! 

But wait, doesn’t Jorvik have vineyards? Surely, that must hint of a much warmer climate!

Well, not necessarily. Following global warming, there are currently vineyards in countries like Sweden, Denmark, UK, and Ireland. While I couldn’t find any vineyards in the Faroe Islands or Iceland (not for grape wine anyway), if we consider Aideen’s Gift to grant Jorvik a warmer climate and a more fertile soil, it should at least be comparable to the wineries in Cork. (Average July temperatures of high 20°C (68°F) / low 13°C (55,4°F), an increase of about 50%.)

Now, keeping in mind that Jorvik has a visually varied climate over a small area, we’d have to examine each region separately. Perhaps Aideen just favoured certain regions more than others.

First, we should talk about Dino Valley. Dino Valley is a magical place covered in a permafrost, and many people have already reacted to hearing it’s as warm as -2°C (28,4°F).

However, this might actually be the most accurate temperature on the map! Even when you are looking at places in the world covered by permafrost, it is not unusual to see seasonal temperatures rise to higher levels, even above the freezing temperature of water.

Of course, this is usually the warmest temperature taken at the time of the day when the sun has warmed up the location to its warmest, and once nightfall approaches, temperatures will once again drop drastically.

I think we can make the assumption that -2°C (28,4°F) is a reasonable warm-day temperature for a summer in the Valley of the Hidden Dinosaur. It would require far warmer temperatures for far longer in order to be able to melt the ice. 

We also know that mammals such as snow weasels and snow foxes are able to live and thrive in Dino Valley, which means it can’t be a complete frozen wasteland, and is likely more similar to Greenland than Antarctica, with higher temperatures closer to the edges of the valley.

At the time of writing, several regions of Greenland are experiencing varied temperatures. Some regions have warm days of 0°C (28,4°F). (weather-forecast.com)

In conclusion, Dino Valley’s temperature seems accurate, but it might drop far lower during the nights. Wouldn’t recommend camping out there, particularly not for loony professors.

Moving on west towards Golden Hills Valley and Cape West, this region seems to be locked  in a perpetual autumn. Besides the eponymous trees, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of vegetation in this mountainous region. Cape West itself does not seem to have any protection from the cold Atlantic winds, and this seems to be reflected in the architecture and dress-sense of the people in the region. Overall, I would put Cape West - and most of Golden Hills - closer to the average Faroe Islands temperatures, 13°C (55,4°F).

While we’re at it, I’m just going to put South Hoof in about the same category. While South Hoof is further south and has some inspiration from the Scottish highlands, South Hoof is just really one flat plateau. We could compare the Cairngorms with an average high of 12°C (53,6°F), but due to being further north and open for all the Atlantic winds (and they have a lot of winds, as enthusiastic surfer Holly can tell), it likely feels even colder most of the time. Wear a scarf, Madison! 

The Forgotten Fields may have been warmer once upon a time, when it had lush forests granting protection from the winds. Not anymore. 

Jon Jarl ordered the forest that once grew here be cut down in order to provide lumber for the houses and stables. As if that was not enough, it is said that a curse was put on these fields by some of the original Vala that lived here, to make sure the Jarl could never settle north of the Devil’s Gap, as he drove them away from their homes. Now, there is nothing that grows here except grass and weeds, and Aideen’s gift is likely weak in this corner of the island.

No one on Jorvik would run a farm here voluntarily, and while I’m sure that the sunsets here makes the fields a romantic spot for a picnic, the temperatures are likely in line with those observed at Cape West.

Anyone trying to run a farm here surely must be filled with determination.

Dundull and southern Mistfall is a bit further into the east, and while most western winds are likely caught by South Hoof, the citizens of Dundull sure seems to be dressing warm when you go there to visit. Even in the animated series - which also takes place in the summer - Rania and Skye seem to be wearing jackets at all times, and Sigry has a fire lit in the fireplace, hinting that Mistfall does not have particularly warm summers. It’s likely less windy than South Hoof, but might be stuck with an average comparable to Vik, Iceland, of 15°C (59°F).

With the easier coastal regions identified, the rest of Jorvik is trickier.

South Harvest Counties and Epona are the weirdest regions on Jorvik. While their temperatures should be much lower, Harvest Countries seems to enjoy pleasant summer temperatures, and Epona has a downright warm climate. Even mediterranean in places!

We must assume that these regions are strong with the magic of Aideen’s Gift, and give them the 50% temperature increase compared to other regions.

The South Harvest Countries should have a temperature comparable to Reyjkjavik, but with Aideen’s gift, they may get pleasant summers around 20-25°C(68-77°F).

Epona now… despite facing the western winds of the southwest Atlantic, they seem to have not only vineyards, but an inland marshland, and an almost tropical valley where giant Jorvegian tarantula spiders live! Tarantulas prefer temperatures in the 24-27°C(75-80°F) range, and it seems like these temperatures might be brought forward by hot springs deep inside the mountains. We know that the Mirror Marshes do not freeze over during the winter, and seasonal storms are pretty common, so likely there is a sharp contrast between the temperatures coming from the land, and the winds coming from the sea.

Silverglade is a bit inlands, and are protected from the worst winds by some mountains around Devil’s Gap. There is also another vineyard here, but not one that seems to display a mediterranean climate. The earlier mentioned Cork in Ireland might be a close enough comparison, landing Silverglade around 20°C(68°F), with the weather likely warmer in some places and colder in others. Firgrove, high in the mountains, probably gets a lot of rain and is a bit cooler, while Fort Pinta seems to be quite the popular beach resort. Valedale is inhabited by druids, and next to Dino Valley, getting a lot of its meltwater and shade from the forest, but is strong with Aideen’s Gift and likely somewhat warmer than Firgrove. (The Silversong River still freezes over in winter though!) 

The only location left is the Wildwoods, which seems like a pretty warm place, considering the badlands-look of the warriors’ tribe, and the lush forests of the foresters.

It can likely be assumed that Aideen’s Gift is stronger here than anywhere else on the island, considering talking horses.

So now when we went through all that, what should Jorvik really look like on a warm summer’s day? 

tl;dr

And there we have our conclusion. Using science and magic, we now have a more accurate warm summer map of Jorvik! 

Thanks for reading!

[sideblog-666-thousand]

A long bitch of an interview with Euronymous, from Orcustus zine in early ‘92.

What is Orcustus? Orcustus was an early 90’s black metal ‘zine run by none other than Bård “Faust*” Eithun— murderous pretty-boy, and o.g Euronymous simp. I think he might have also played drums in a band called Emperor... but I’m not sure! Its full name is actually “Orcustus— The Shadow of The Golden Fire”, and no, I’m not making this up.

This particular issue here opens up with a quote from a short story called ‘The Doom That Came To Thomas Parkes*’.

Assuming the reader hasn’t read the story, Faust explains that the quote is in reference to what happened to the titular ‘Thomas Parkes’ when he tried to raise spirits. Faust then admits that he’s unsure of his own ability to ‘raise spirits’, but says he hopes that he’ll raise some fists in agreement that there’s something wrong with the underground scene. Ironically (you’ll see why this is ironic very soon), he doesn’t like that certain bands, namely Entombed, are selling so many copies of their LPs.

After a brief diatribe on just that, he goes on to explain that he was in a rush to get this mag out because of problems with the printer. Then, he tells anyone who doesn’t like the fact that this ‘zine only features black metal that they can fuck off, with three exclamation points.

Finally, we get to the end of the opening page, where Faust pulls what can only be called an early form of the Twitter exposed thread. It reads as follows, with absolutely no changes to the text:

“I would suggest you to not do any business with that sucker Evil Ludo from France. He have riped me and several others off, by not return what we ordered. I suppose he’s a medical sensation, as I didn’t know it was physical or psychical possible to live without a brain”

Why am I telling you all of this, when this is only meant to be a transcript of an interview with Euronymous, you may be asking? Because I find it funny, that’s why.

Anyhow, the Euronymous here acts and feels very differently from the Euronymous of the last interview I posted. However, I hope you’ll still enjoy it, and I hope you’re able to appreciate the tiny glimpses of humanity talking to a close friend allowed him, even though they both behave like complete asses. Even though it’s hard to sympathize with him at points.

Like last time, any (sparse) commentary will be between (parenthesis) and in bold. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

.

F: Well, how in hell shall one be able to come up with an intro worthy enough for this band? The words I wanna describe Mayhem’s music with, is not yet created, and it won’t be created either, because no one has really experienced the real darkness and pure brutality with lays behind Mayhem’s hellish sound, but I suppose you all are familiar with this band anyway. Well, in the first place, I hadn’t really thought to enclose this band in this issue, because if we look away from rereleases of old demos (“Pure Fucking Armageddon”) and live tapes, it’s a pretty long time since their last release (in ‘87 that was). I thought I rather should interview them when they released their forthcoming album “Dee Mysteriis Dom Sathanas”, but due to the circumstances, I realised the time was right for an interview now. I won’t bother you with any history shit, but I could tell a bit about what has happened last year. You all know that their vocalist Dead comited suicude in April ‘91, that was a bigg loss for the underground, and I suppose I don’t need to say that this mag is dedicated to the memory of that infernal man. Anyway, Dead was replaced by Cultòcùlus (back then called Occultus), but due to different problems within the band, he left the band in January ‘92, but let’s not say more about that, as Euronymous didn’t want me to say anything about it at all (but Euronymous, you must admit that it has sounded pretty artificial if I hadn’t mentioned it at all). So now, the band consists of Hellhammer (drums) and Euronymous (guitar (and probably bass too)). I know the singer of Tormentor (rip) from Hungary (Esihar Attila) is interested in singing on the album, and also even moving to Norway, so it seems like Mayhem got some sort of predilection to foreign vocalists, but this Hungarian guy happend to be a good one as well, so never mind that. But I don’t think this is official, so don’t tell anyone you read it here, ok? Well then, it’s an honour for me to dedicate the next following pages to one of today’s most legendary and infamous bands......... THE TRUE MAYHEM!!!!!!!

F: First of all Euronymous, I know you and Dead live/lived totally for the old black metal attitude. Is your hate now total to young and trendy bands after Dead’s suicide?

Euro: YES, we have declared WAR. Dead died because the trend people have destroyed everything from the old black metal/death metal scene, today “death” metal is something normal, accepted and FUNNY (argh) and we HATE it. It used to be spikes, nites, chains, leather and black clothes, and this was the only thing Dead lived for as he hated this world and everything which lives on it. If we had the economic possibility to do it, we should meet up at concerts and beat up ALL trend people ALL the time untill they would be too scared to go to concerts at all, now we need to suck their money instead. It’s impossible to stop the trend no matter how much we want, we have to do the best out of it and sell lots of trend shit to them. (I don’t need to tell you that that’s totally not why Dead killed himself, right?)

F: In the spring of ‘91 you started up a shop in Oslo which sells all sorts of music within metal. Is there anything you can tell us about the shop (ideas? plans?)?

Euro: Well, the original idea was to make a specialist shop for metal in general, but that’s a long time ago. Normal metal isn’t very popular anymore, all the children are listening to “death” metal now, I’d rather be selling Judas Priest than Napalm Death, but at least now we can be specialized within “death” metal and make a shop where all the trend people know that they will find all the trend music, this will help us earning money so that we can order more EVIL records to the evil people. But no matter how shitty music we have to sell, we’ll make a BLACK METAL look on the shop, we’ve had a couple of “actions” in churches lately, and the shop is going to look like a black church in the future. We’ve also thought about having total darkness inside, so that would would have to carry torches to be able to see the records.

F: Well, how is the situation all in all in the Mayhem camp right now?

Euro: Difficult as usual, but we’re closer than ever to record the Mayhem lp. Almost all the material is completed, then I and Hellhammer will record the whole thing with 3 guitars, 2 basses and so on. It will be very massive. Who’s to sing on the lp is not yet decided, we’ll wait and see what happens. We have several people who can do the job very well.

F: As Metalion of Slayer mag* said: “it seems like you at certain times lives on the edge of starvation”. Have you ever been on the thought to just give up the whole band and become a normal 9 to 5 person, or is this a completely stupid question to ask?

Euro: It has been very hard at times, but I am not a normal person anyway so it would just not be possible to do that. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why things are as they are (this answer will be long) (that’s okay for me/Ed). The reason why we don’t have any money, is because of hardcore. We have for too long been following the “underground” rules, which say that you must hate money, you must not think you are anything, you must be open-minded, you might have a lot of attitudes and so on. Extremely stupid. But the situation has been that if you don’t follow these rules which are made by hardcore pigs, you are not accepted as a death metal or black metal band! Then you MUST be signed by some big label to be able to make some money, and we’ve never wanted to do that. Then you would anyway be labelled as “commercial” by the HC pigs. This has caused that after 8 years, we are still as broke as ever, while the HC pigs themselves are controlling all labels, and they sign only the bands which fit into their own idiotic world, that means “death” metal bands with society lyrics and jogging suits, and this is what the people see when they grow up. They don’t see any EVIL bands with spikes, as we did. Well, I’m tired about being broke, just to be “underground”. I’m tired of not having money to eat for just because tons of people will call you a “rip-off” if you don’t write 20 letters each day. It’s time to say fuck off to the whole system, which is built to strangle the evil bands in the birth. We must start taking inspirations from the ancient ones, from Venom and their likes. They did their thing BIG, and they never had to think about any idiotic underground rules. They did it big and so must we, but it must never become a trend, it must become a CULT. This is why we have started on a brand new policy with the band and the record label. It’s about time that someone makes a label for black metal and other grim music, and STRIKE BACK. There is NO reason why DSP shouldn’t be as big as Peaceville or Nuclear Blast, if we can just get the business on its feet again and get good distribution. That’s the only way to compete with the HC labels. It’s about time we start taking control over our own scene. We must spread the EVIL bands and pervert people’s souls.

F: What about the Norwegian scene then? Don’t you think that something is terribly wrong when it have gone so far that we have a christian “death metal” band here (Crush Evil)? Advices on how we should kill them?

Euro: First of all— the Norwegian scene is the BEST. There are a lot of GREAT bands (yet with no album out) and of course some shitty trend bands, but nothing as in Sweden. There you have 2-3 good bands out of 100, while here we have a few shit bands who hardly have made even a demo, while all the great bands will make records in the near future. Such as Darkthrone, Burzum, Immortal, Thorns (I’m flattered/ED*), Arcturus, Enslaved and newer bands like Malfeitor and others which I have not yet heard. BUT— when it comes to bands like Crush Evil, we must take serious action. It’s bad enough to have a couple of society bands, but a CHRISTIAN band is too much. But don’t worry, we have plans. They will not continue for a very long time.

F: And now over to something more humouristic....yes.... snuff movies. Who had been the perfect actor for a snuff movie, and why the hell aren’t they legalized? Don’t you think that every video-store should have its own section with snuff-movies?

Euro: Actually I think it’s great that movies like that are forbidden. If they were legal and easily accessible, all the small trend children would be watching them, and then it would not be something extreme anymore (I’m not sure if I agree with you here Euronymous. Snuff movies are usually too raw and brutal for the people with their “peace and life” infected minds. Remember the HC rules/ED) (shut the fuck up, Faust*) It’s just the same what happened to death metal— it became something everyone could buy in every store, something normal and accessible for everyone. All the mystic and evil atmosphere is GONE. I do not think snuff-movies are funny, I think they are DARK. I’ve seen people laugh at them, but that’s probably because they will not be mentally able to take the PAIN and EVIL on over themselves. That is the best way to watch such a movie, to try to FEEL the actual pain of the victims. It becomes much more gruesome then, and that’s great. One must be alone in the darkness and suffer with the victims, if you watch it with other people, they will often talk, laugh and so on, and then you get more distanced from it, it’s not supposed to be funny (death to fun), it’s much better when it’s depressive.

F: Through the years you have been talking about releasing bands like Samael, Rotting Christ, Master’s Hammer, Tormentor, Matricide, Imperator, Massacre etc. on Deathlike Silence Prod., but now some of these bands have released lp’s on labels which only have money in their eyes and know that black metal sells. Doesn’t that frustrate you, and don’t you feel it like the time is running out for you?

Euro: It’s a bit frustrating, but it is also a result of trying to be “underground” which is a suicide policy. Anyway, the main thing is that these evil records get released at all, and not who’s releasing them. We will probably release a record with Tormentor, they’re split up, but they still want to make their Anno Domini demo on vinyl, and we’ll try to fix it within the summer. The time is not running out, because there are a lot of really evil bands around. — most of the Norwegian bands which other labels haven’t heard about. Burzum is ten times better than all the bands on Earache together, and so are Thorns and Arcturus. So there is no problem, really. As for bands like Rotting Christ and Master’s Hammer, we might do something in the future instead. I’ve never been talking with Samael about any deal, but I wish I had as their album is FUCKING GREAT.

F: Almost all bands in the underground today says that they think they got their own style and originality, but the fact is that 95% of the bands sounds totally the same. What is an original death metal band today?

Euro: There exists no death metal bands today. There are only a handful of (mostly great) bands (in case someone hadn’t got it right— black metal has nothing to do with the music itself, both Blasphemy and Mercyful Fate are black metal. It’s the LYRICS, and they must be SATANIC. If not, it is NOT black metal) and what we choose to call LIFE METAL bands. Take a band like Therion. Their music is quite ok, it’s actually one of the best Swedish bands (even though that doesn’t say much) but their lyrics STINK. They are about society and pollution, what the fuck has that got to do with DEATH? If a band cultivates and worships death, then it’s death metal, no matter what KIND of metal it is. If a band cultivates and worships Satan, it’s black metal. And by saying “cultivates death”, I don’t think about thinking it’s funny, or being into gore, I’m thinking about being able to KILL just because they HATE LIFE. it’s people who enjoy to see wars because a lot of people get killed. How many bands think that way? Not many. I can’t think of one.

F: You’re maybe not the most active band when it comes to gigs, but at least you’ve managed to tour Germany and Turkey. What can you tell us from the tour, and is there any new gigs planed?

Euro: That tour was a big mess, we’ll NEVER take the train again! We lost quite some money, but still it was great to get to East-Germany and Turkey. The memories of the tour consist mostly of the starvation and idiotic custom officers, but still I wouldn’t like to have missed the opportunity. We don’t have any concrete plans, we’ll see happens in the future. We don’t like to play for a lot of trendies in jogging suits, so we prefer to leave it be.

F: What do you think of the fact that death metal has been on MTV?

Euro: It sucks. But it isn’t death metal anyway, so....

F: I know that you will soon release the debut album of Abruptum on DSP, so, what can you tell us about it?

Euro: It’s EVIL. It’s PURE EVIL, they were torturing each other in studio DURING the recording and you can HEAR on the music how they SUFFER. It will be the most demented record EVER, and it’s NOT for normal people. This is music which NEVER can become trendy, because normal people won’t be able to understand it. And that’s great. The price for the album it’ll be the same as for the BURZUM lp, which should be somewhere else in this ‘zine*. It’s called “Obscuriratem Advoco Amplèctere Me”, and stay away from it if you don’t like pure DARKNESS.

F: Don’t you think that people in the underground should respect others ideas and views more? I mean, it’s not accepted to spread unpopular thoughts. It seems like there is some sort of guardians of morality and most people keep in mind not to say or do anything which is not accepted by the public.

Euro: I don’t think people should respect each other. I don’t want to see trend people respecting me, I want them to HATE and FEAR. If people don’t accept our ideas as their own, they can fuck off because then they belong to a musical scene which has NOTHING to do with ours. They could just as well be Madonna fans. There is an ABYSS between us and the rest. Remember— one of the HC rules is that you must be open-minded (except for themselves), so we must be careful and avoid being open-minded ourselves. The HC pigs have correctly made themselves guardians of morality, but we must kick them in the face and become guardians of anti-morality.

F: You say you want your riffs to have a dark mood and really sound evil, but what if you came up with a riff which just sounded good, but not evil. Would you use it then?

Euro: Well, if a riff sounds good to me, it mostly means that it sounds evil too. At least when I make the music myself. Haven’t really thought about this about this before.

F: Do you think you’ve been playing this sort of music today if it weren’t for those old bands like Mercyful Fate, Venom and Hellhammer?

Euro: It’s impossible to say. Venom and the other ancient ones have been fundamental influences on Mayhem, and also the direct reason of the band’s existence. We like to think that if they hadn’t started up this, we would have, but who knows? Doesn’t really matter anyway, we hail ancient Venom as the CREATORS.

F: Ok, no more questions at the moment. End the interview in what way you want......

Euro: Perhaps it should be mentioned that well re-release the MAYHEM mini-lp “Deathcrush” VERY soon. We also have t-shirts available now. People should write for prices on things. Be EVIL, not open-minded.

Ok, I suppose some of you already know that Euronymous started up a shop in Oslo in the spring of ‘91. The shop is called “HELVETE” (which is Norwegian and means “HELL”) and are specialized within underground stuff and death metal in general (though he also have some other styles of music there). As he said in the MAYHEM interview, the shop really have a black metal look, so if you ever visit Oslo, I really recommend you to visit “HELVETE” as well. I think it’s good that people take the initiative to start up with such things, because if everyone were just passive, we would all get ruined by poser-shops like Hot Records where they take 140 NKR for the Earache albums (which you in “HELVETE” can get a CD for the same price). Euronymous also sells though mail, so write and ask for a list or something: HELVETE, Schweigaardsgt. 56, 0656 Oslo. NORWAY.”

That’s all! :)

And now for the things I put in asterisks, in order of their appearances.

*If for some reason you actually don’t know who Faust is, he was the drummer on the Emperor LP and “In The Nightside Eclipse” but you might also know him from other great hits such as “threatening to kill Mortiis from prison whilst simultaneously attempting to plead murder of the secondth degree”, “I’m glad the people Euronymous ripped off won’t get their money back because he’s dead hA hA!”, “I got fourteen years for murder because I’m a socially inept virgin— oops” and “bad... bad lyrics who’s quality somehow don’t improve with the passing of time”. All jokes are done in good humour— if it seems like I dislike him, it’s not that at all. I just find him easy to make fun of.

Here is another short bio, this one less sarcastic: he was born in Trondheim, lived around Kvikne, and Lillehammer, worked at Helvete, was a close friend of Euro’s, and has his sun in Taurus.

He also beefed with Glen Benton for dissing the Party City cape (Note: of course I’m being extremely reductive) he and Euronymous seemed to share. Here are a few pictures of Faust:

Here is the infamous Party City cape:

*This was surprisingly hard to find. I think he read it in a mag or something. Here’s a link to where you can find it: https://issuu.com/davidgamble/docs/paranormal37/3 page 64-65.

*Slayer mag was another zine, this one by a bloke named Metalion, who was Euro’s best friend.

*Faust (who felt the strange need to make a distinction between himself, the editor, and himself, the interviewer) also played in Thorns (well, Stigma Diabolicum), under the hilarious moniker: Fetophagia✨

*He’s being a fucking idiot, what was I supposed to say? It should be noted that Faust actually went down for the snuff films too.....

*In case you’re interested, for whatever reason, the prices for the Burzum LP were as follows:

Norge— 130 NKR

Norden— 100 K

Finland— 60 FN

Island— 1000 IK

Europe— 15$

Outside Europe,

Overseas— 15 $

Air— 22$

East Europe— 10$

By ‘norden’ he presumably meant ‘northern Norway’, and “Island” is the Norwegian word for Iceland. Notice the way he doesn’t include Sweden! (Edit: Originally I thought he didn’t include Finland because there was a black metal war with them as well, but it seems as though that feud came a bit later or had already passed)

That’s all, for real this time!

Legal disclaimer: I am absolutely, in no way shape or form, claiming that the stupid cape you see them wearing is literally from Party City. From my limited research, I’ve gathered that the Party City chain hasn’t yet opened its doors in the beautiful and glorious country we know as Norway— Norge. However, I am saying that the cheap, dinky piece of cloth covering their backs and shoulders are of the same kind of shitty quality you’d expect from a Party City Count Dracula costume and that maybe Glen had a point about how stupid Euronymous (and Faust) must’ve looked.......

[eschercaine]

Tagged by @grandlovescheme. I’m honored! 🥹☺️ Thank you for tagging me! ❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

63,418.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At first, I’ve written ASOIAF/GOT fics about pairings good!Viserys/Arya and Jon/Sansa. But now, HOTD. Daemon/Rhaenyra, of course.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

regina ombrarum Light and Darkness in Equal Parts i finally found where i feel i belong wolfstar travels north sometimes i hear my voice and it’s been here, silent all these years

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Certainly! I make it a point to always respond to comments. It’s important to me that my readers feel acknowledged and valued, so I take the time to let them know that I see and appreciate them greatly. 😊

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None so far. I want my fics to be happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe regina ombrarum... 🤔 When it is finished.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None so far.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I tend to avoid writing smut because I don’t know how to write it. 😅 But maybe... maybe... in the future, I’ll try to write one.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t. I also tend to avoid writing one as well. 😬

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I have plenty of ships, but... Daemon/Rhaenyra has me on chokehold. And even now, these two lives rent-free in my head.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All 3 of my untitled WIPs in my Google Docs? 😬👉👈

16. What are your writing strengths?

I had thought so hard about this. 😅😬 I can’t think of any.

17. What are your writing weakness?

Grammar. Writing a dialogue. It took me a long time posting my fics because I kept re-writing them.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’m struggling where to put the translations. Should I put them next to the words? In italics or in parenthesis, or both? Or should I put them on the end notes? 🤔

19. First fandom you wrote for?

A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I don’t play favorites, but... regina ombrarum. Because Viserys in that fic will get his karma. 🤭😈

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @luthien-under-bough, thank you! I love talking about fics and the process of how I write them, so this was fun to put together :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

28

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

459,900

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Now exclusively House of the Dragon, specifically Daemyra

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

High Hopes

Let's Ignite Under the Ember Skies

You're Ripped at Every Edge (But You're a Masterpiece)

If I Could, I'd Get You the Moon

The Dominoes Cascaded in a Line

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I try to always respond, even if the comment is to an older fic. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed or don't even know what to say when someone's being way too kind to me lol, but I always want to let people know I see them and appreciate them so much.

The only time I don't... is when I see someone's binging my whole fic, so then I only respond to the last comment, once they're all caught up.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is easy, as I only have one fic without a happy ending - All and Then Most of You, Some and Now None of You. I love daemyra too much to not give them HEA as much as possible

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is hard to pick... Because all of my fics, apart from that one, end teeth rootingly sweet 😂 Perhaps Dominoes. Or perhaps fighter!au, which you guys haven't read yet but it's very fucking happy!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes. Though it is much much better now that I disabled anon asks.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! What kind I write... Hmm, tbf I think I write pretty vanilla stuff, even if I do try to explore some kinks here and there when it fits the story and the characters. I guess my kind is focusing on the feelings most of the time, and the emotional connection.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't, or at least I haven't yet. We'll see if muse ever strikes this way!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, so hopefully not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times in a different fandom

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not yet, but I'm definitely open to the idea. I definitely wrote a bunch of stuff based on my fandom friends' crazy ideas and prompts with their help, so that's halfway there, I guess

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

No couple had ever taken over my life and thoughts the way Daemyra did, so, the answer is clear!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Soulmates AU? I was once so excited for it, wrote a bunch of notes and even the first two chapters, but now I'm kinda... not feeling it :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

I spent the longest on this question. I think it's the emotions I try to convey in my fics, good or bad.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Now this is much easier. Plot! Intrigue! If you guys haven't noticed yet lol, I write fics heavily focused on romance only, and the development of Daemyra's relationship, because I just can't pull off anything more than that.

I'll probably never write a fic where people will wonder what'll happen next, what that and this means, what this person's motivations are... Because I'm unfortunately not wired that way. But I learned to accept that, and I have fun writing my silly romances with no real plot <3

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it myself a few times and I like to see it in other fics, too. Especially in HV it's delicious to see in the canon-verse. Though I always struggle with how to write the translation - right next to it, in cursive, in brackets, in the final notes?? That's always a head scratcher

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Eh, probably Twilight? I don't remember writing anything before that, so must be it

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably still High Hopes, even after all this time 🤍

This was fun! I'm tagging some of my writer friends if they wanna join and haven't yet, @ar-feyniel, @eschercaine, @calenlily, @fiora-miriel and anyone else who wants to! :)