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Ideas Lying Around

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me in DC TOMORROW (Mar 4), and in RICHMOND on WEDNESDAY (Mar 5). More tour dates here. Mail-order signed copies from LA's Diesel Books.
I get a special pleasure from citing Milton Friedman. I like to imagine that as I do, he groans around the red-hot spit protruding from his jaws, prompting howls of laughter from the demons who pelt him with molten faeces for all eternity.
If you're lucky enough not to know about Friedman, here's the short version. Friedman was a kind of court sorcerer to Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, Augusto Pinochet, and other assorted authoritarian, hard-right leaders who set us on the path to the hellscape we inhabit today. But before Friedman rose to prominence and influence, he was a crank. Specifically, he was a crank who dedicated his life to rolling back all the progress of the New Deal and re-establishing the Gilded Age:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/06/the-end-of-the-road-to-serfdom/
In his crank days, people were justifiably skeptical of this project. "Milton," they'd say, "people like New Deal programs. They like the minimum wage, the 40-hour work-week, and the assurance that they won't be maimed, poisoned, burned alive, or otherwise killed on the job. They relish a dignified retirement, quality education for their children, and the assurance that no one is starving to death in their country's borders. People like national parks! They like Medicare! They like libraries, museums, and reliable weather forecasts! How, Milton, do you propose to convince the vast majority of people that they should settle for being forelock-tugging plebs, groveling before their social betters for the chance to scrub their toilets?"
Friedman had an answer: "In times of crisis, ideas can move from the fringe to the center in an eyeblink. Our job is to keep good ideas lying around, in anticipation of that crisis."
When the oil crisis hit, when prices spiked in the USA and abroad, Friedman seized his opportunity. The years following the oil crisis saw a violent political revolution in which organized labor, social justice movements, and the political opposition to oligarchy were crushed under police batons and the guns of Pinochet's thugs. The world was transformed. Left parties like UK Labour were remade as austerity-pilled neoliberals (not for nothing did Margaret Thatcher call Tony Blair "her greatest accomplishment," and it took Bill Clinton to pass a welfare "reform" bill that was too extreme even for Reagan to get through Congress).
Friedman was a monster.
But.
He had a hell of a theory of change.
When prices spiral, when people can't pay their bills anymore, when their retirement savings are wiped out, anything is possible. The oil crisis wasn't Jimmy Carter's fault, but the voters still delivered a Ba'ath Party-style Republican majority in 1980. The covid shocks weren't the fault of the world governments that presided over pandemic inflation, but they were creamed in the ensuing elections.
Let's talk about Trump's tariffs here. Trump's goal is to force a re-shoring of the American industrial capacity that was shipped to low-wage, low-regulation corporate havens around the world after the Reagan revolution. The pandemic provided a vivid lesson about the problems with long, brittle supply chains where all the slack has been extracted and converted to dividends and stock buybacks. That kind of system may work well – at least to the extent that it keeps Walmart's shelves full of cheap goods – but holy shit did it ever fail badly. Re-shoring is a good idea, as are other forms of pro-resiliency industrial policy.
But re-shoring doesn't happen overnight. As we saw during China's covid lockdowns, when one supplier ceases to ship goods, other suppliers can't spring up overnight to take up the slack. China itself became a manufacturing powerhouse thanks to extensive state support and planning, and it took decades. That kind of patient, long-run, planned process is the best-case scenario (and it still caused wrenching dislocations to Chinese society). Simply throwing up tariff walls and demanding that industry figure it out – amid the resulting economic chaos and the political instability it brings – isn't a plan, it's a disaster.
Redistributing the means of production around the world is a necessary and urgent project, but it won't be advanced through Trump's rapid, unscheduled mid-air disassembly of the global system of trade. Tariffs will cause breakdowns in neoliberalism's fragile supply chains, and the ensuing chaos – mass unemployment, shortages, political rage – will make it even harder for countries (including the USA) to rebuild the productive capacity vaporized by 40 years of neoliberalism.
This is our oil crisis, in other worlds: a moment in which a belligerent superpower's ill-considered monkeying with the underpinnings of global production will cause chaos, the crisis in which "ideas can move from the periphery to the center" in an eyeblink. If Steve Bannon can call himself a Leninist, then leftists can call themselves Friedmanites. This is our opportunity.
Or rather, it's our opportunity to seize – or lose. Governments are defaulting to retaliatory tariffs as the best response to Trump's tariffs. This is political poison: making everything your country imports from the USA more expensive is a very weird way to punish America for its trade war. Remember the glaring lesson of pandemic inflation: a government that presides over rising prices will be destroyed by the electorate.
There's a much better alternative, one that strikes at the very roots of American oligarchy, whose extreme wealth and corrosive political influence comes from its holdings in rent-extracting monopolies, especially Big Tech monopolies.
Tech giants are the major factor in US economic health. Take Big Tech stocks out of the S&P 500 and you've got a stagnant market punctuated by periods of decline. Superficially, US tech companies have different sources of extraordinary profit, but a closer look reveals that they all share the same foundation: Big Tech makes the bulk of its money in the form of monopoly rents, backstopped by global IP treaties.
Apple and Google take a 30% cut of every dollar spent in an app, and it's a felony to jailbreak a phone to make a new app store with the industry standard 1-3% transaction fees. Google and Meta take 51% out of every ad dollar, and publishers and advertisers are locked into their ecosystems by abusive contracts and technological countermeasures. HP charges $10,000/gallon for the colored water you put in your printer, and third-party ink and refills violate the anti-circumvention laws the US has crammed down the throats of every country's legislature. Tesla makes its fattest margins by renting you features that are installed in your car at the factory, from autopilot to the ability to use your battery's whole charge, raking in monthly fees from you and anyone you sell your car to – and the reason your mechanic can't just permanently unlock all that DLC for $50 is the IP laws that your country agreed to enforce in order to trade with the USA. Mechanics pay $10k/year per manufacturer for the tools to interpret the error codes generated by your car, and the only reason no one is selling a $50/month universal diagnostic service is – once again – US-originated IP laws that came in a parcel with trade agreements that gave your country's exporters access to US markets. Farmers pay John Deere $200 every time they fix their own tractors, because the repairs won't work until a technician comes out and types an unlock code into the tractor's keyboard – and bypassing that unlock code is a crime under the laws passed to comply with international treaties.
These aren't profits – they're rents. It's money Big Tech gets from owning a factor of production, not money it gets from actually making something. The app maker takes all the risks, but Apple and Google cream off 30% of their gross income. Big Tech's profits are almost an afterthought when compared to its rents, the junk-fee platform fees and farcically expensive consumables. For tech firms, capitalism was a transitional phase between feudalism…and technofeudalism:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital
America's robust GDP figures are a mirage, artificially buoyed up by the monopoly rents extracted by US Big Tech, who prey on Americans and foreigners:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/18/pikettys-productivity/#reaganomics-revenge
But foreigners don't have to tolerate this nonsense. Governments around the world signed up to protect giant American companies from small domestic competitors (from local app stores – for phones, games consoles, and IoT gadgets – to local printer cartridge remanufacturers) on the promise of tariff-free access to US markets. With Trump imposing tariffs will-ye or nill-ye on America's trading partners large and small, there is no reason to go on delivering rents to US Big Tech.
The first country or bloc (hi there, EU!) to do this will have a giant first-mover advantage, and could become a global export powerhouse, dominating the lucrative markets for tools that strike at the highest-margin lines of business of the most profitable companies in the history of the human race. Like Jeff Bezos told the publishers: "your margin is my opportunity":
https://www.marketplacepulse.com/articles/the-cost-of-your-margin-is-my-opportunity
In times of crisis, ideas can move from the periphery to the center in an eyeblink. Many of us have spent decades organizing and mobilizing against these extractive, dangerous, destabilizing abuses of technology, where the computer-powered devices we rely on for everything are designed to serve their manufacturers' shareholders, at our expense. And yet, these technologies have only proliferated, infecting everything from insulin pumps and ventilators to coffee makers and "smart" TVs.
It's time for a global race to the top – for countries to compete with one another to see who will capture US Big Tech's margins the fastest and most aggressively. Not only will this make things cheaper for everyone else in the world – it'll also make things cheaper for Americans, because once there is a global, profitable trade in software that jailbreaks your Big Tech devices and services, it will surely leak across the US border. Canada doesn't have to confine itself to selling reasonably priced pharmaceuticals to beleaguered Americans – it can also set up a brisk trade in the tools of technological self-determination and liberation from Big Tech bondage.
Taking the margins for Big Tech's most profitable enterprises to zero, globally, will strike at the very heart of American oligarchy, and the hundreds of millions tech giants flushed into the political system to put Trump into office again. A race to the top for technological liberation benefits everyone – including Americans.
Truly, it would be a rising tide that lifted all boats (except for oligarchs' superyachts - those, it will swamp and sink).
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/03/03/friedmanite/#oil-crisis-two-point-oh
#pluralistic#ideas lying around#milton friedman#global trade#trade#tariffs#oil crisis#theories of change#trumpism#anticircumvention#dmca 1201#gatt#wto#isds#investor state dispute settlement
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i literally spend at least 2 hours a week just looking at various pictures of the terracotta army. utterly entranced. look at the details in the hair. you'd never see ANY of this when they're lined up in formation, but they're there.
theres about 8000 of these guys down there, no two faces are alike. they're works of art. they're the manifestation of a cruel despot's delusions of grandeur. a talisman against the terrible inevitability of death, both pathetic and strangely pitiful. like watching a child clinging to his blanket, begging you not to turn off the light. they were a bunch of insignificant clay statues from a side chamber that was so small and unremarkable, no one bothered to write down the location. they were modelled after real people. their only purpose was to serve qin shi huang in the afterlife, so he could reign in heaven as he did on earth. now the emperor is just a ghost and his pawns are immortal. my dad and i visited them in the dead of winter, on a weekday, just so we wouldn't have to deal with tourists like us. the place had easily 500 people--not including the ones below ground. we traveled to xian via the old "green skin" diesel train. there are faster means, like highspeed rail but dad insisted i try the authentic way, the same way he would have traveled when he was my age it was also like, a quarter of the price but im sure that had nothing to do with it! back in the 80s carriages would get so packed people had to have their luggage passed in via the windows. as we chugged along, i read my book and my dad made us cup noodles. car is just a shortened version of "carriage", the word is the same but the mechanism is different. it's the same in chinese. i think if i told someone from the warring states period i could travel from the Kingdom of Qi to Qin in just four hours with my metal carriage, i'd be laughed out of town--or accused of being a spy and sentenced to 'death by carriage.' we hopped off the train at 4am and took a different "carriage." the taxi driver joked; "basically every dynasty put their capital in xian, stick a shovel anywhere and you'll turn up some national treasure or another." i wonder what it would have felt like to be a farmer digging a well and then out pops a remarkably realistic human head. statistical analysis show the soldier's faces bear a strong similarity to people living in the region today. the taxi stopped in front of a jewellery-hawking tourist trap and refused budge an inch until we went inside. did you know the terracotta soldiers were originally multi-coloured and painfully gaudy, just like the greek marbles? they were made assembly-line style. the arms and legs were made from the same workshops that made clay plumbing pipes and roof tiles. for quality control, the artisans were required to stamp their names. the workers who built these tombs were executed shortly afterwards, because only dead men can be trusted with secrets. qin shi huang's mausoleum is unlikely to be excavated in my father's lifetime, or mine, not unless i'm willing to take a BIG ONE for the team... instead of the tomb, they built some kind of qin shi huang-themed theme park next to it. not only was it tacky as hell the entrance fee was like $50. we went to the museum and i looked at bronze tools and pottery shards for three hours. look why can't we just crack the thing open i can't be the only one here whos dying from curiosity what if we all just took turns digging
#qin shi huangs terracotta army#warring states#qin dynasty#thinking about Her...<3 bronze tools and pottery shards <3#my writing
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Hey everyone seems real sad for some reason. Could not imagine why.
Anyways if you squint real hard you may notice a similarity to Thomas and the Jet Engine. That is intentional.
You can also squint and notice some similarity to several Traintober prompts. That is intentional.
Also, if you notice any similarity to any of SiF's character names... that's right! That is intentional. I did that and it's on purpose and I'm making fun of them. If you're from SiF either recognize that it was a dumb name or die mad about it.
Pip and Emma at The Top
2021 - The Summer
It was the longest summer since the last one. There weren’t any tourists - obviously - but even the inter-island traffic had died down considerably. The government on the mainland was skittishly enacting and then subsequently revoking plans to allow gatherings again, and the people of Sodor were prudently trying to keep the Island’s activities out of London’s sphere of notice.
As events were curtailed and people limited their own travel, the railway cut back on services, as they’d done several times before. Pip and Emma were the first to be relegated to the yards; while they could run a much shorter train - and often did - a shortage-related spike in the price of diesel fuel meant that it was more economical for James or Henry to take the two diesels' trains instead.
Henry had tried to make sense of how the economics on that worked out, but numbers were not his strong suit, and so he instead passed along his sympathies every time he passed the twins in the yard.
James (and no-one else) thought that he was being rather magnanimous by not endlessly laughing about how he was cheaper to run than a diesel. Several cutting responses had been prepared if he ever got too full of himself, but shockingly he’d kept the snickering to a bare minimum.
As the days stretched on into a week, and then two, a bigger problem soon began to present itself:
“I’m bored, Pip!”
“Me too!”
Pip and Emma were getting restless.
“WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT DOWN?! IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING!”
And they were more than willing to make that everyone else’s problem.
-
A few days later, and the diesels were overjoyed when an inspector came to them with instructions to report to the works.
Equally overjoyed were the engines in the big shed.
-
Pip and Emma arrived at the works in a right state, having been held up by trackwork along the main line.
“Two hours! Can you believe it Emma?”
“I don’t like running light engine, they can push us around too much.”
“Right? We’re express engines, not a train of old rubbish!” “I think they prioritized the rubbish train over us, if that smell at Kellsthorpe Road was anything to go by.”
“Ugh!”
-
Mr. Tedfield, the Works Manager, eventually arrived, bringing an end to their complaining. “Right you two. Seems like we’ve got some work for you.”
“Here?” They chorused.
“No,” he said quickly. “But the work is going to be a lot different from your usual job, and we’re gonna have to do some modifications.”
“Oh no,” Pip cried. “It’s going to be buffers, isn’t it?”
“How did you know?” The man was baffled.
“It’s the only thing it could be, sir.” Emma explained. “That’s what they said on the Eastern Region, back in the 1980’s. ‘Just some little modifications!’ and they came back from Derby with the ugliest buffers ever!”
“It was a hatchet job!” Pip agreed. “All their lower valances, gone!”
“Easy, easy!” Mr. Tedfield yelped, not expecting that sort of response. “I’m sure that we can do a better job than that!”
“Promise?” they said in worried unison.
“Promise.”
-
A few days later, and the twins were relieved to discover that the works were as good as their word. Unlike the Eastern Region “hatchet jobs,” they still sported all their bodywork. Holes had been drilled through the lower valances, and buffers, couplings, and air hoses now poked through. The fibreglass was a little rough around the edges, but everyone agreed that it could also look a great deal worse. (Apparently, custom fibreglass was one of the only things the works staff couldn’t do in-house, and there was a concerning amount of murmuring from the staff about how they’d change that.)
Rolling out into the sun for the first time since they were “slightly modified,” they blinked the light from their eyes to find Mr. Tedfield, the Fat Controller, and another man who they didn’t know waiting for them.
“Well,” Started Mr. Tedfield. “I’m glad to see that our concerns were unfounded.”
The twins knew he was being diplomatic in front of the Fat Controller. He’d already said “I told you so!” several times earlier in the day.
He continued. “So now we should probably tell you what we would like you to do!”
“Because somebody forgot to mention it earlier…” The other man muttered under his breath.
The Fat Controller looked from one man to the other, and shook his head slightly. “Pip, Emma, as I’m sure you’re already aware, we are not going to be running the Express to London anytime soon. So, with that in mind, you two are going to be assigned to mixed traffic work until passenger numbers allow us to put you back into normal service.”
“Mixed traffic work?” They said as one.
“Oh yes!” The Fat Controller looked quite pleased with himself. “We have quite a lot of cargo traffic coming in through the ports right now, and you two will help take the strain off everyone else.”
The man they didn’t know coughed slightly.
“Of course, how foolish of me,” The Fat Controller rolled his eyes. “I also recognize that you two have some… special abilities that the other engines lack, namely your high-speed capabilities. With that in mind, Mr. Hargrave, from the coach and wagon department here at the works, has had an idea.”
“Yes, right.” Mr. Hargrave said with pride. “So, back when we first started coming back to work after the lockdowns, the government gave us a whole pile of Levelling-Up money, to “get us back on our feet.”” He paused, bouncing on his heels. “Thing is, we’d already fixed up everything beforehand, because we didn’t want anyone locked away in the works during the end of days with their bits in pieces, so we didn’t have anything to spend it on, but we had to spend it, otherwise they’d take it back!”
“Government logic at its finest…” Mr. Tedfield said under his breath.
“Ain’t that the truth.” Mr. Hargrave agreed. “So anyways, we decided to just make everything as perfect as we could make it.”
He stopped for a moment, long enough for the Fat Controller to look at him. “Such as…?”
“Hm? Oh! Yes, the container wagons!” He said all at once. “We took all the container wagons that were sitting around idle - and some other stuff besides - and we took them and fitted high speed bogies and bearings to them.”
Pip blinked slowly. “High speed bogies?”
“That’s right! They ride like coaches now.” He said with childlike joy. “And they won’t weigh much more than them either, so it shouldn’t be much trouble for you two. High speed containers, all the way to the mainland!”
Pip looked at him, then at the Fat Controller. “Sir, why are we doing this?”
The Fat Controller looked much more reasoned. “Quite a few companies are willing to pay a premium for their shipments to arrive as quickly as possible. There’s a lot of congestion at the bigger ports in the south, and Liverpool is operating almost at capacity, so we have an opportunity to get some very lucrative traffic.” He smiled knowingly. “And if we play our cards right, some of the companies, like Amazon, might build a few warehouses just across the channel on the mainland, and then we can serve those in perpetuity.”
The twins slowly digested this. “But sir, will it matter if we can go that fast?” Pip asked. “Once we cross the bridge, we’ve got to deal with Network Rail, and they don’t know anything.”
The Fat Controller looked as pleased as punch. “But you’re not dealing with Network rail.” He said with a satisfied smile. “Our contract for this ‘express freight’ is to get it as far as Barrow-in-Furness. If Freightliner or Colas Rail happen to be tardy after that…” he made a gesture with his hands. “That’s of no importance to us.”
Pip and Emma blinked slowly. “So, you want us to go as fast as we can?” Pip said with an expression that was rapidly passing “gleeful.”
“I do.” The Fat Controller agreed, before walking away.
---
Across the Island, the trucks and wagons shuddered.
--
A few weeks later
Pip and Emma fit in surprisingly well on goods trains, and could soon be found on everything from trundling pickup goods to the Flying Kipper. The Works really had made every truck as “perfect” as they could make them, and so every train, regardless of what it was or who was pulling it, was rolling on new bearings and freshly-trued wheels. Bear, BoCo, James, and Henry claimed it was some of the easiest work they’d ever had, and even the trucks agreed with them!
Pip and Emma, however, were mostly focused on one thing: speed. They’d been promised the ability to go as fast as they liked, but there was a significant obstacle to it:
“Oh come on! How long can it take to re-lay one set of points!”
The Permanent Way and Signaling departments had also received a great deal of this “use it or lose it” government funding, and were furiously working to replace, re-lay, and re-wire seemingly the entire island.
Fortunately for the twins, the work was almost at an end, and as the summer began to wane, they soon found that more and more of the line was back up to full capacity. Shortly thereafter, the “Container Express” was a regularly scheduled train on the main line, running twice a day between Tidmouth Harbour and the yard in Barrow. Keen-eyed observers of the timetable would note that it was the exact same pair of slots previously occupied by the Wild Nor’Wester, which had last run in March of 2020.
The Fat Controller promised anyone who asked him that it was absolutely a temporary measure, and most believed him, save for one group in particular…
“Lads,” A voice murmured in the container yard one morning. “I think this is forever… ‘s our purgatory for whatever it is we’ve done to the engines.”
“Nah, this ain’t purgatory,” whispered another, as a two-toned horn blasted in the distance.
“Hi everyone!” “Ready for the trip?”
“This is hell. We’re in hell.”
-
A few days later - Barrow
The lift bridge over the Walney Channel operated very differently than it did pre-COVID. A train would arrive at the Vicarstown side of the bridge, then it would lower. It would stay down while the engines were turned round, or were uncoupled from their train and connected to a new one. Then the train would leave, and the bridge would go back up.
This happened two to four times a day, now that the lockdowns had lessened, but there was one constant - the same train that left the island would be the one to return to it.
Then, one evening in the late summer, the bridge rolled down for a train coming from the mainland.
There was a very familiar two-toned honk-honk as it rolled over the bridge and onto the Island, wheels click-clacking across the bridge joints in great numbers.
The rear power car vanished with a roar of sound and a whoosh of diesel exhaust, and then the train was gone into the distance.
The bridge slowly cycled back up. There was a new train on the Island of Sodor.
-
The next morning
Pip and Emma woke up much later than usual - the main line was undergoing its final “track geometry inspection”, and freight services had been curtailed for most of the day to allow the inspection to be done as quickly as possible.
Eventually, they were rolled out of the diesel shed mostly on BoCo’s urging, (“You two are not allowed to get bored in here.”) and made their way to the platforms of the big station.
“Oh, this is weird!” Pip exclaimed as she backed down onto a set of coaches. She and Emma had been coupled back-to-back for over a month now, and it seemed like nobody was in a hurry to position them “normally” for a short run down to Suddery and back.
“Not as weird as your- oh my goodness it’s you two.” James started his sentence with a considerable amount of venom, but squeaked halfway through his sentence before stopping altogether.
“What was that?” They both looked at him funny.
“Nothing!” He said quickly. “Nothing at all. I, um, I thought that you were somebody else!”
He vanished as though by magic, and neither Pip, Emma, nor the coaches had any idea of what to say until the guard waved his flag.
-
Making their way down the line, they encountered several other engines, each of whom gave them some kind of funny look. As they headed down Edward’s branch line, it was all they could talk about.
“Maybe it’s just how strange we look back-to-back?”
“It can’t be, Pip! You saw how Edward looked! I think he was actually upset!”
“Goodness, I hope it wasn’t anything we did.”
“I don’t think so. They all seemed to stop once they saw us.”
“...”
“What?”
“I just had a thought.”
“What?”
“Who looks like us, but can make everyone hate them in no time flat?”
“Oh no!”
-
Later, they arrived back at Wellsworth station with the return service. The train terminated here, instead of returning to the big station, so once the passengers had disembarked, they had to shunt the coaches out of the way. It was somewhat novel for them, and Pip took great joy in being shown how a shunter’s pole worked. Emma, on the other buffer, was busy eavesdropping; Edward was getting ready to bank Bear’s goods train up Gordon’s Hill, and he was fuming about something to the stationmaster.
“-that damn banana shows its face here again I will show them what for!” he hissed sternly, before puffing away in a huff.
The stationmaster didn’t say anything that Emma could hear, but he seemed to look very intently at the signals outside the station. There was one signal set for an arriving train.
Emma didn’t like that, it felt very ominous. “Pip, look sharp. I think we’re going to have trouble soon.”
Pip didn’t have time to respond, because at that instant, the two-tone horn of an HST rang out in the near distance. The rails hummed with the noise of an approaching train, and a 5-coach HST set pulled into the station.
The train was safety-yellow, and bristled with cameras, sensors, lasers, and measurement equipment of all kinds. Large “NETWORK RAIL” logos were plastered on every coach and both power cars, right next to the words “NEW MEASUREMENT TRAIN.”
It was glossy. It was shiny. It was freshly washed.
“Oh, must we dawdle around this dump? I know what sort of conditions this lot keeps!”
It was rude.
“Will you stop already? I would like to not be thrown off this island, thanks.”
Well, half of it was.
Pip closed her eyes to steady herself. Emma ground her teeth audibly. Of course it was them.
Quickly, quietly, they tried to reverse out of sight, but the camera-studded train saw all, and criticised everything.
“Oh I say!” The lead power car laughed mockingly. “I thought those rumours were wrong but look at that! You two really have been demoted to common shunters!”
“Hi Pip. Hi Emma.” The rear power car said, utterly defeated.
“Hi John,” They chorused, equally displeased. “Hi, Obs-”
“Do not use that name!” The lead power car snapped brusquely. On his side there was a big brass nameplate that read “The Railway Observer.” “Use my real name.”
“Not this again…” The rear power car moaned. He had “John Armitt” bolted to his side. “I know that you think it sounds better but I promise you it isn’t-”
“I’m sorry,” The lead power car snapped. “But are you undermining me in front of outsiders?”
“They’re our sisters, you numpty.”
“And they shall refer to me by the name of my choice!”
“It’s a stupid name!”
“It’s a regal name!”
Pip and Emma observed the bickering train with muted resignation. “Why couldn’t he have been at Ladbroke Grove?” Pip said to nobody in particular. “Would’ve done the world a favour.”
Emma just wanted to get this over with. The coaches had been safely shunted away, so it was just a matter of getting out of the yard - then they could go down to Tidmouth and get their next train. “And what name would you like us to call you?” She said eventually.
The lead power car puffed himself up like a self-important cockatoo. “I,” He proclaimed regally. “Am Murgatroyd. It is a noble name, with a rich history, and-”
Pip almost swallowed her own tongue from the sudden outburst of laughter, while Emma couldn’t even bring herself to look at him. “Oh my god, that is the worst name I have ever heard of,” She said, barely audible over Pip’s gale-force guffaws. “Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you do that to us?”
Murgatroyd turned red with indignation (which, thanks to his yellow paint, was actually a shade of orange) and started shouting. “How dare you, you- you- you low-class harlot! This is a regal name, chosen to signify-”
“How much of a pretentious twat you are?” John scoffed from the other end of the NMT. “Usually people can tell when you talk.”
The retort that followed was unprintable, and a vicious three-way argument soon struck up, lasting until Pip and Emma left Wellsworth for the harbour at Tidmouth.
The New Measurement Train left a few minutes after that, an argument trailing in its wake. The yard was silent after that.
BoCo, who had been trying to nap in the shed, looked around the yard. “I don’t think anyone will believe me…” he said to himself.
-----
At the harbour’s intermodal yard, Pip and Emma found their train already waiting for them… although it was slightly different from usual.
Fifteen container trucks sat mostly empty, with just a few loaded ones up at the front. Ahead of those were two low-loaders, one empty, the other… not.
“Finally!” Thomas the Tank Engine groused from atop the front low-loader. “It’s been ages!”
“It’s been two hours.” The low-loader rolled his eyes. “We left at 11:00. It’s barely past one.”
“Well, who asked you?!”
Pip and Emma were surprised, to say the least. “What’s he doing here?” They asked the yard supervisor. “Can we take him on this train?”
“As a matter of fact,” He consulted his clipboard. “You can. I spoke to the works, and they’ve “improved” some of the flatcars with the high speed bogies they had left over. Should be fine.”
“Should be?”
“That’s what they said.” He shrugged, flipping through the clipboard to a printout of an email. “They put it in writing.”
Pip had to squint to see the small text. “I don’t like that they put “It should be fine!” on an official email…”
Behind her, Emma rolled her eyes, in the process noticing something above them. “Wait, what’s that?”
The supervisor looked up. “Oh, that’s a jet engine for an airplane. Rolls Royce rebuilds them down in Derby.”
“Why is it here? This isn’t the airport.”
“Airport’s closed for a few days because they lost their electric transformer - surprised you didn’t ‘ear about it. Rolls didn’t wanna wait, and we’re quicker than a lorry it seems.” The man smiled at the last part. Everyone in the freight division was very pleased that this “hare-brained, half-baked, absolutely ridiculous” concept (as some “industry observers” had remarked) was proving successful.
Emma watched as the jet engine was craned onto a flatcar behind Thomas. “Oh great!” He scoffed as it was chained down to the car. “Not only am I getting shuttled around this Island like a piece of lost mail, but now it’s air mail at that?”
“Oh shush!” Pip said, somewhat bemused by the whole situation. “We’ll get you to Barrow double quick!”
“Barrow?! I’m going to the works!” Thomas was irate.
“If you ever listened,” The low-loader started. “You’d know that they don’t stop there, so we’re going to Barrow, and then back to Crovan’s on the pick-up goods.”
“Oh! Wonderful! I am a lost parcel! This is all Toby’s fault, the square-”
“Thomas,” Emma cut him off kindly. “It’ll be fine. Think about it this way - you can say that you went there on the Express! Won’t that be fun?”
“I’ve been on the express before…” Thomas said darkly.
“See? Then you know how fun it is!”
Thomas looked like he wanted to say something else, but before he could, the shunters allowed Pip and Emma to back down onto the train, and connected the coupling chains and air hoses.
Emma winked at him reassuringly, something which he felt was only unintentionally patronizing.
And then the train set off for the mainland.
-
Leaving the port was a slow affair - the container yard was off to one side, and they had to dodge Marina and Salty as they shunted cars into the bulk terminals by the yard throat. There were a lot of low-speed switches to navigate as well, and the train rocked from side to side as they crossed over. Thomas thought about saying he was getting seasick, but chose not to tempt fate after the seventh such switch made him actually feel a little nauseous.
After reaching the end of the harbour tracks, they came to a complete stop, and waited for several trains to leave the big station.
First came Gordon, who stormed out of the station canopy with the mid-day semi-fast behind him. His expression was thunderous, as were his clouds of smoke and steam. He passed by with a roar and a clatter and vanished into the tunnel towards Knapford.
Edward was a few minutes behind, with a train of ballast from the Little Western. The expression on his face was neutral, almost intentionally so - a clear sign to anyone that knew him that he was blisteringly furious.
“Oh no…” Emma sighed.
“What?” Thomas asked, watching Edward’s brake van disappear into the tunnel.
“Not what, who.” She said, resigned. “And you’ll find out soon enough.”
Up front, Pip grit her teeth and waited.
She didn’t have to wait long - another minute, and an unusual signal dropped into place: an up-bound train cleared for the down slow line. A very familiar two-note honk-honk sounded from inside the station, and then Murgatroyd appeared, a self-satisfied sneer on his face.
He roared out of the station, New Measurement Train shining brightly behind him, John on the tail end calling apologies to someone. It would have been a rather splendid sight, had there not been a massive cloud of sooty clag hovering over the station entrance, and trailing in his wake.
Pip smirked with a hint of schadenfreude - John wasn’t trailing any sooty exhaust smoke, and five empty coaches were not that heavy, so somebody was ignoring his fitters it seemed…
She would have been content to sit there smugly, her well-tuned engine firing cleanly on all cylinders saying more than she ever could with words, but naturally Murgatroyd had to make things worse.
“Oh good god!” He bellowed in mean-spirited mirth, his mouth twisting into a cheshire-cat smile. “Look at that! They really are Valenta freighters now! And they’re slumming it with a tea kettle! I thought that I had seen it all!”
He vanished out of sight before he could say anything else, the coaches streaming by in a yellow blur.
Pip could just see her reflection in the passing windows - they moved so fast it looked like a solid mirror - and it was not a pretty sight.
Emma, who’d heard everything, reckoned that if he’d gone on for one more sentence, her sister would be spitting fire and roaring loud enough to be heard in Cornwall.
Thomas, who had said worse to Toby and Daisy just this morning, suddenly felt a great sense of unease…
-
A few tense minutes later, and the signal finally raised, giving the train access to the main line. Pip set off with a roar, Emma reluctantly following her lead through the multiple unit connection. Thomas choked and spluttered from the wave of hot exhaust gases going right into his face, and barely noticed as the train rocked and rolled onto the Up Fast line.
Blinking and tearing up, his vision finally cleared just in time to see Pip’s cab roof disappear into the darkness of the tunnel to Knapford. It was much closer than it usually was, and with the train rapidly increasing in speed, Thomas yelped as it cleared his funnel by mere inches. “YIKES!”
Emma laughed, eyes shining in the darkness, and Thomas knew that the sooner he got off this train, the better!
-
After that, for a little while, the trip continued smoothly. Knapford, Crosby, and Wellsworth stations all slid past without issue. Traffic was extremely light, and they didn’t pass any down-bound trains in the entire period. In fact, if it weren’t for the occasional blot of Gordon’s smoke on the horizon, it would have seemed that they had the entire main line to themselves.
-
It was just past Maron station when the trouble began.
As they crested Gordon’s hill, the first signal past the summit had fallen to “approach” almost as they passed it, and some quick shouting at “control” on the radio had revealed that the last of the permanent way crews were taking longer than usual to clear the main line near Kellsthorpe Road station.
This meant that Pip and Emma were practically at a crawl as they reached Maron, and the train eased to a stop at the signal bridge just past the platforms.
Pip, still hot under the buffers from her encounter with Murgatroyd, was not exactly thrilled at the idea of “dawdling” in stations, and audibly fussed as they came to a halt.
Her poor temper didn’t help her train handling skills any, and the train lurched inelegantly to a halt, causing the slack in the couplings to run in, and the entire train banged against her and Emma.
There was much shouting and complaining from the trucks and Thomas at this, and Pip growled menacingly.
“Oh, well.” Emma said quickly, trying to put a positive spin on things. “At least it’s a nice day out-”
CLONK
Before she could even say anything, the signals rose to the “approach slow, expect stop” aspect. This meant that they were getting moved forward exactly one signal block, to the Cronk home signals near the Hawin Ab Viaduct.
“Oh come on!” Emma cried in frustration.
It was abundantly clear what was happening now: they were going to be yo-yo-ed up and down the main line. Yo-yo-ing was what happened when a fast train was stuck behind a slow one, and had to constantly stop at each signal and wait for it to clear. It was hard on an engine’s brakes, worse on their buffers and couplings, and worst of all, was annoying as sin. This was exactly the sort of constant, low-grade irritation that she (and Pip) did not need right now.
Pip’s driver was entirely unaware of this, though, and so he increased the throttle and watched with some bemusement as Pip let her engine furiously rev all the way to the top of the tachometer right from the jump.
She and Emma lurched forwards, and the entire train crashed into motion, each car yanking the one behind it as they all set off.
Thomas rocked back and forth against his tie-down chains. “Careful!” he shouted.
“Shut up!” Pip and Emma scowled.
Thomas frowned, ready to give them a piece of his mind.
“It’s no use,” tThe low-loader sighed. “They’re in a strop right now - best you can do is make them forget that you’re here, til they calm down.”
“When will that happen?”
“That, lad, is something that the smartest trucks in all the land have been searching for an answer to for many years.”
-
To add insult to perceived injury, Pip’s driver didn’t bother accelerating to any real speed, since they were only going one signal down the line. Pip and Emma stewed in their own irritation at twenty-five miles an hour as they rolled up the line towards the next signal. There was very little that could be done to make them more upset, but of course when there’s a will, (and a Murgatroyd) there’s a way.
-
“Oh, no…” John murmured to himself.
The New Measurement Train had been caught at a signal for almost thirty minutes, as the Island’s P-Way team cleared out in front of them. The positioning of this particular signal was not ideal, as it left the tail of the train caught on the exposed tracks of a windy viaduct. Furthermore, the signal, like all signals on Sodor, was a relatively vintage semaphore design that still used colored filters over a white light. He knew this from experience, having been all over this island for the last day, however he was hearing all of it now because his royal Murgitude had been griping and whinging about it literally since the moment they stopped.
And now, look at who was coming up to the signals on the fast line…
“Hi Pip, Hi Emma,.” he said weakly.
He almost wanted to tell them to stop further back, and be near him - away from the irritating mass at the front of the train - but looking at Pip’s enraged visage gave him pause. He stilled his tongue, and let them roll up to the signal mast next to Murg.
Judging from the way that the train screeched and bashed to a halt, Emma wasn’t happy either. A smart engine (or one with a functioning self-preservation instinct) would have kept quiet at that stage, however Murgatroyd was neither self-preserving nor intelligent, and John could hear his mocking tone from five coaches back.
Pip said nothing, and at first neither did Emma, but as Moron-a-troyd went on and on and on, John could feel a shift in the container wagons next to him. It was almost like they were cringing, trying to keep themselves as far away from whatever was about to happen next.
Finally, he could take the suspense no more. “Is it bad?” he asked the nearest truck.
“SHUT UP. I AM TIRED OF HEARING YOU SPEAK,” Emma bellowed, loud enough to be heard clearly at the other end of the train.
“It’s awful bad,” the truck whispered. “You can tell he’s never dealt with real engines before. One of us acts like that and we’d be the next Scruffey within a month!”
John didn’t know who “Scruffey” was, but he understood the sentiment regardless.
Silence reigned after that… for all of ten seconds, before Murgatroyd said something about “decorum” that set off a screaming row between all three of them.
It was bad enough that the Network Rail crew inside the coaches started making a fuss on the radio, and within a minute, the container train roared away, leaving the New Measurement Train in windy silence yet again.
After a few short seconds, John felt a “poke” over the multiple unit connection. Clearly Murgatroyd wanted to say something.
“Well,” he said, voice warbling from some damage in the connection that John hadn’t ever told anyone about. “I think they said their piece didn’t they? I tell you what John-old-boy, but this island produces some of the worst examples of engine-kind that I have ever seen. I think that one was breathing fire!”
-
At Cronk station, Pip and Emma were idling so loud and so roughly that the stationmaster radioed the crew to ask if something was wrong.
“That damned flying banana got them in a state, that’s what’s wrong,” The driver snapped over the radio. That awful measurement train had been nothing but problems since it showed up on the island, and he was willing to do anything to see them gone. Heck, if it wasn’t likely to make his engines even angrier, he’d give that train his path to the mainland, just so it’d be gone faster.
What they really needed was a good fast run, to get them back into their usual state, but with the P-Way team taking their sweet bloody time of it, it didn’t seem likely.
“If they keep going like this, they’re going to burst a manifold somewhere,” the guard poked his head into the cab. “We’ve got to calm them down.”
“I would love to see you try!” the driver retorted. “They’re not gonna stop until they’re good and ready.”
“I can hear you, you know!” Pip huffed.
“And? Are you going to calm down?”
A slow growl that shook the entire cab was his only answer.
“Go put the radio on,” he said to the wide-eyed guard. “They need something to keep their minds occupied.”
“Radio? Like, to control?”
“No, you nit! Like the radio radio! With music! There’s a circuit breaker on the electrical panel. Bottom row.”
Confused, the guard retreated from the cab and made his way to Pip’s electrical cabinet. Opening up the “low voltage” door, he traced his finger down the rows of breakers until he found what should have been immediately obvious: a handwritten label on some sellotape next to the last of the breakers. It said “TUNES” in shaky handwriting, and was one of the only ones not turned on. Hesitantly, he reached out and switched it on.
“-and that was “No Diggity,” by Blackstreet, here on ManxPirate, the eternally annoying voice of the Sudrian Sea. Catch our sound wherever you are, on 107.9 FM, 927 AM, 13.68 Shortwave, DAB, DAB+, and online at ManxPirate.co.im.
“Oh come on!” Pip groused. “Now they’re gonna do the adverts! This isn’t any better than listening to the moron!”
“And now that brings us up to about five minutes til’ the top of the hour, so we’re gonna run some adverts so we can keep the lights on. We’ll see ya on the flipside with DJ Geordie Poppers, who’s gonna run a very special block of music for us, right here on ManxPirate.”
“How often do they listen to this?” the guard asked with some astonishment.
“Too much, if I had any say in it…” the driver mumbled.
“Are you tired of your washing up smelling like mildew? Are you sick of having to pull down the drying lines at the first sign of rain? Then the new automatic clothes dryers at B&Q are just for you…”
The radio continued on with an inane advertisement about tumble dryers, and the driver put his head in his hands. “We’ve just got to make it to a song… I hope.”
Pip and Emma continued to stew in their own irritation.
-----
Far away, at Kellsthorpe Road station, the last of the P-Way Gang hauled their equipment off of the line, sharing a celebratory high-five as they did so. There was due cause for celebration: once the NMT traveled over this section of line, their yearslong work of relaying the entire main line would be finally over. In the station’s car park, a champagne bottle was popped, and the foreman revealed that he’d brought real crystal stemware for the occasion, instead of plastic.
Presently, a radio handset buzzed. “Is that the lot of you off, then?”
It was Control, sounding less than pleased with the delay…
----
At Cronk, the signals for the down slow line rose into the “all clear” position, while the up fast signals remained red.
Pip ground her teeth noisily.
“HI, I’M BARRY SCOTT, AND I’M HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE ALL NEW CILLIT BANG UNIVERSAL DEGREASER! NOW WITH NEW FORMULATION! SAY GOODBYE TO LIMESCALE AND RUST STAINS…”
The radio continued to play adverts.
Thomas was growing increasingly fearful of the look on Emma’s face.
--
A few minutes later, as an insufferably bad advertisement about comparing your car insurance provider finally faded out, a two tone honk-honk sounded behind them, and the New Measurement Train roared past in a cloud of exhaust and dust. Pip and Emma didn’t say anything, or even look in the general direction, but the raucous laughter that trailed in its wake said enough.
Mercifully, the radio had begun playing something else. “All right then, got those ads out of the way. So what’s up listeners? It’s DJ Geordie Poppers in the hooo-use, coming to you LIVE from our studios on the ever so beautiful radio ship Tharos out here in the Sudrian Sea. We’ve got a very special bit of music for you coming up now in the upcoming hour - it’s a rare daylight sighting of our After-Dark Eurobeat Power Hour! I’m gonna be spinning some CDs and MP3s with the most pulse-pounding beats this side of Mount Akina - so if you’re driving right now, sorry about this.”
As John got smaller and smaller in the distance, the music began to fade in, very gradually.
“And a bit of housekeeping here - we’ve heard from the artist and they’ve had a bit of a name change. Out goes Ken, and in comes Kendra. This is the extended version of “The Top,” by Ken (short for Kendra) Blast.”
Slowly, a piano track began to fill in.
Pip raised an eyebrow, irritation momentarily sidetracked. “Is this really the Eurobeat block, Emma?”
“I think it is,” she said, starting to go along with the intro.
Thomas, who couldn’t hear Pip or the radio, had no idea what she was talking about. He didn’t like the look on her face.
The trucks didn’t either.
“Lads,” the lead container wagon said with gravitas. “We may not make it through today unchanged. It has been an honor serving with you.”
“What?” The low loader that carried the jet engine coughed as the container wagons murmured about honor. He was relatively new, and this was not how he expected his day to be going.
“Laddie,” Thomas’ low loader said gravely, understanding at once what was about to happen. “You’re about to experience something that you’ve never been through before. I’d recommend preparing yourself.”
“What?!” Thomas yelped.
---
Back in Tidmouth, the people in “Control” were staring at the “big board.” For weeks now, the section of line near Kellsthorpe road had been a mess of green, yellow, and red lights, as the P-Way gang slowly finished the banked curve on the station’s east end. Trains, represented by little markers on the computer screen, waited for a free path, oftentimes with large delays, which showed up in flashing red and white boxes.
Now, though, their frustration was finally at an end. The last of the yellow was disappearing, section by section, as the P-Way gang reported that they were clear. Three of the four lines were bright red - clear but with no train signaled through - while the down slow line was a green and yellow stripe. It was getting shorter and shorter, as the little marker labeled 1Q01 moved steadily eastward. That was the New Measurement Train, finishing its final pass of the system.
Behind it, with the box flashing red and white from the delay, was 1B07 - the “Container Express,” already twenty minutes late. More trains were lined up behind it and the NMT, and others were queuing in a line that started at Kellsthorpe Road and went all the way to the mainland.
The yellow segments were almost entirely gone, with just one signal block outside of Kellsthorpe Road left.
There was a five minute safety delay coded into the signal control computers, specifically for when crews were working on the line.
It had been four minutes and fifty six seconds since they’d reported that they were clear.
Four minutes and fifty seven seconds.
Four minutes and fifty eight.
Four minutes and fifty nine.
---
The signal in front of Pip raised with a clonk.
There was still a slight haze to the air from Murgatroyd’s exhaust. In the distance, the plume of sooty white smoke he was making stood out against the clear blue sky like a signal fire.
“Emma?” Anyone with sense would recognize the danger in her tone.
“Yeah?” Unfortunately for everyone else on the train, they couldn’t do anything about it.
“I think we should catch him.”
“I think you’re right.”
--
In the cab, the driver looked nervously at the rev counter, which had started to climb rapidly.
“Here goes nuthin’,” he said quietly to himself, before advancing the throttle.
--
The music, which had been slowly building over the last twenty seconds or so, abruptly kicked into a high gear, with a frenetic electronic beat that belted along at 160 beats per minute.
White exhaust belched from the twins’ exhaust, before quickly turning black under the load. Their engines ramped up to an ear-piercing howl, obliterating any sense of quiet at Cronk station.
Thomas once again got a face full of noxious choking clag, and his eyes watered while his hearing was momentarily deafened by the noise of it all.
The train began to pick up speed, and the container wagons groaned in fatalistic anticipation. “It’s all downhill from here!” one of them shouted.
“What?” Thomas hacked from inside the cloud. He couldn’t see anything, and his hearing was ringing like a church bell.
In front, Pip could feel the unrelenting wave of horsepower and diesel surging through her system. She laughed joyously, with Emma soon joining in.
To everyone else, it seemed somewhat maniacal.
🎶 Final lap I'm on top of the world
And I will never rest for second again!
One more time I have beaten them out
The scent of gasoline announces the end! 🎶
--
The train vanished from sight, on its way towards Killdane. The stationmaster poked his head out of the station door.
“There goes trouble…”
--
The New Measurement Train rolled through Killdane with fleetfooted ease. The rails were clear and the light train was aided by the downhill gradient. From his position on the rear, John felt like the entire consist was weightless, with barely any effort required to keep the train at speed.
“You think we should go any faster?” he called up the multiple unit connection to Murg. They usually ran at well over 120, but today they’d barely crested 90.
There was a cough over the connection. “Oh, not today. We’re still the fastest train on this backwards island!”
Ah yes. A sudden excuse. Surely that was completely unrelated to the plume of smoke trailing in their wake.
“So, how’s cylinder four feeling today?”
“Shut up.”
John smiled pettily to himself.
In the distance, Killdane got smaller and smaller. A small dot of yellow could just be seen…
---
🎶 They all said I'd best give it up
What a fool to believe their lies!
Now they've fallen and I'm at the top
Are you ready now to die-ie-ie?! 🎶
---
At Killdane, the sounds of the NMT had scarcely faded before the sound of howling diesel engines filled the air. Heads turned to the east just in time to see Pip and Emma hammering around the curve into the station at full throttle.
The curve was banked, but not nearly as steeply as the ones to the west, and there was a piercing screeeeeech of steel on steel as the train whipped past.
“Slowdownslowdownslowdownslowdownslowdown!” There was also a piercing screech coming from the train’s cargo, as Thomas the Tank Engine felt himself rock back and forth atop the low loader. It really did feel like he was going to fall off!
Pip had a very determined look on her face, eyes focused well into the distance, but those who saw Emma in the brief moment she was in view noted an almost demented smile on her face. She was laughing.
All this happened in just a moment, and then the train was gone, roaring off into the distance at just below the line speed limit. The wind from the train’s passage rattled a lineside sign. It was a white circle with several thin diagonal slashes through it.
It was an “end of speed limit” sign.
--
🎶 I came up from the bottom
And into the top
For the first time I feel alive
I can fly like an eagle
And strike like a hawk
Do you think you can survive... the top?🎶
--
John noticed that the small yellow dot in the distance was getting bigger. Squinting, he couldn’t quite see what it was.
Whatever it was, it was slowly gaining on them.
Hang on…He thought.
The cameras that were blanketing his sides were supposed to be recording the lineside for defects, but nobody ever cared about the “going away” view. Very quietly, he “looked” through the lens mounted just above his eyes. It had a nice zoom, and could see much further than he could.
What he saw made him blink and look again. Then a third time. Then a fourth. After looking for a fifth and final time. He finally wrapped his mind around what exactly he was seeing.
“Hey Murg?” he said innocently.
“Yes? What is it?” Murg sounded far more irritated than he should be.
“Think you can get us into the triple digits? Some of the boffins are worried about their readings not being calibrated right.”
“Oh damn them all.” Murg cut the connection with a pained cough. John had a distinct feeling that the Infallible and Most Invulnerable King Murgatroyd was hiding exactly how bad cylinder four really was from everyone, lest he be seen as “weak” or “mortal” by his inferiors.
Well, he thought to himself with a hint of smugness as the train slowly began to increase speed. If he wants to play the perfect king, he’ll have to deal with the locals.
Behind them, Pip and Emma continued to get closer and closer…
---
James and his coaches had been waiting on the dratted P-Way gangers for over half an hour at Kellsthorpe Road, and set off with a will when the signal changed.
Of course, the signaling was all out of sorts, and he was running “wrong main” on the Up Slow line, but he didn’t much care. There wasn’t anyone in front of him, and was making “good” time on his way to Killdane. “Maybe we’ll still make it to Tidmouth before tomorrow!” he joked to his driver, who had long since given up on making light of the situation.
They leaned into the curve heading towards Killdane, and that awful banana of a measurement train streaked by in the other direction. James whistled derisively at it out of reflex more than anything else, and was quietly grateful that the unpleasant train had nothing to say in return.
In the distance, a giddy-sounding honk-honk drew his attention back to the line ahead, and he had just enough time to make out something streaking on the next line over before something-
Honk-Honk! Honk-Honk!
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
-ripped past them with a honk, a roar, and a scream.
“What was that?!” He yelped as the wind buffeted him.
“I think that was Pip and Emma!” his driver said, looking backward. “With a container train!”
“What?!”
---
🎶 One more turn and I'll settle the score
A rubber fire screams into the night
Crash and burn is what you're gonna do
I am the master of the asphalt fight 🎶
---
John watched as Pip and Emma got closer and closer. In a macabre way, he felt giddy about it. At their current speed, they were going to eat Murgatroyd for lunch and still have room for tea afterwards.
He had been paying such close attention to the rapidly-closing distance between the two trains that he completely missed the start of the banked curve until he was leaning into it. The rails bent underneath him and the ties whipped past at an odd angle as the whole world tilted a few degrees. They weren’t going slow, by any means, but the sensitive equipment in the coaches (and his years of experience) told him that they could have been going much faster.
“Oh Murg… you might want to speed up…” he sing-songed. “They’re gaining on us…”
“Who’s gaining on us? What?!” Murgatroyd was oblivious, as was his wont.
John wanted to say something else, but his voice failed him as he watched the container train, with low-loaders on the front, rocket through the curve at speeds that he didn’t even want to contemplate.
A train passed on one of the other lines, and he watched the smoke from its stack get whipped and roiled by air currents of the two trains passing each other.
Seconds later, Pip and Emma passed the train, streaking through the remaining smoke, and the force of their passage tore the cloud to ribbons.
---
🎶They all said I'd best give it up
What a fool, to believe their lie-ie-ies!
Now they've fallen, I'm at the top
Are you ready now to die-ie-ie?🎶
---
Pip was high on speed, and she was loving every second of it.
Emma was right behind her, literally and metaphorically; the sensation of pure motion and velocity was coursing through their systems like a drug.
In front of them, so close one could almost reach out and touch it, was the New Measurement Train. John was watching with restrained giddiness as they started to draw abreast of him. He said something, but the wind whipping by erased all sound. There was just speed, and that was more than enough.
Slowly, they pulled even with the coaches, and with each window they passed, another Network Rail employee could be seen looking up in astonishment.
In Pip’s cab, the driver was holding onto the controls with a white knuckle grip. Officially, he was the driver, he was in control of the train. Realistically, he was nothing more than a rider on a bucking bronco. He surveyed the line ahead, and gulped.
Behind Pip and Emma, Thomas’s eyes were right in the most turbulent part of the wake that followed the diesels. Air, superheated and filled with grit and soot from twin exhausts, poured into his eyes and swirled around his face. He couldn’t hear, he could barely see.
Behind him, the wind whipped through the turbine blades of the jet engine on the next low-loader. It had been secured for transport, so the blades didn’t move, but the wind rushing through it created a high-pitched howling noise that simply added to the cacophony.
Lost in the chaos of the wind and the noise and the exhaust, the container wagons and the low-loaders were holding onto each other for dear life.
“I’m not designed for thiiiiis!” one of them shrieked.
“None of us are!” the wagon ahead of him bellowed. “Just keep holding on a little longer!”
--
At the head of the NMT, Murgatroyd was trying very hard to ignore the slight off-beat throbbing coming from cylinder four. Something was amiss with it - what it was, he didn’t know for certain. Driver didn’t know either - blasted man hadn’t turned a wrench a day in his life; wouldn’t know the difference between an allen key and the keys to a house!
Of course there weren’t any fitters on board - “economic savings” kept them at home base - so he just had to deal with it.
Just so long as the underlings didn’t notice, everything would be fine-
“Oh Murgatroyd…”
“Yes, John?”
“You might want to look around...”
He looked off towards the Up lines, and was rendered momentarily speechless by the sight of Pip smiling wickedly at him.
“T-that’s not possible,” he said once he found his tongue. “That isn’t possible!”
---
🎶 I came up from the bottom
And into the top
For the first time I feel alive!
I can fly like an eagle
And strike like a hawk
Do you think you can survive...
I came up from the bottom
And into the top
For the first time I feel alive!
I can fly like an eagle
And strike like a hawk
Do you think you can survive... the top?🎶
----
Moments earlier
“So how late do you think we’re going to be?” Percy asked as the train rumbled through Kellsthorpe Road station.
“Oh,” Henry pondered. “We’re only allowed to do 45, and we’ve got to drop off the aluminium at Killdane, so probably two or three hours if we lose our path at all. Which we will.”
“Thomas is going to be absolutely livid when I get back.” Percy said from atop his low loader. “He was supposed to go in for his new cylinder block today, so if I’m not back, they’re going to have him stay in steam all day.”
“Oh, he won’t be thrilled about that.” Henry chortled. “I swear, he’s the only engine who likes going to the works.”
“They treat him the same way James treats himself. Of course he likes going there!”
“Hah! I hadn't considered that-oh dear…” Henry trailed off mid-sentence.
“What?”
“It appears that we’re about to go down the middle between Pip and Emma, and their favorite siblings.”
“What? The banana? Oh great.”
“Yes, they- oh goodness they’re quick-”
Anything else Henry said was lost to the deafening thunderclap made as the New Measurement Train and the Container Express roared past on the opposing lines. The wind felt like it was going to knock him clean off the rails, and Percy yelped in surprise as debris and exhaust fumes swirled around him like a hurricane. His boiler, a stout construction that could hold hundreds of pounds of pressure, felt like it was flexing and bowing from the vibrations in the air. He watched in open-mouthed shock as Henry’s cab windows were sucked out of their frames from the differential pressure, and were hurled through the air followed by every loose object in the cab, from hats and coats, to papers and even a coal shovel!
Behind and in front of Percy, open wagons of stone, and the coal from Henry’s tender sent huge plumes of dust and debris into the air, swirling and mixing into a funnel cloud that wrapped around the rear of the train. It danced in the tornadic airflow for a few seconds, before dissipating as the trains parted once more.
The silence afterwards was deafening.
“DID I LOSE A WINDOW?” Henry asked, almost unable to hear himself speak, as his driver applied the brakes and stopped the train.
Percy tried to make the ringing in his smokebox cease. Closing his eyes, he suddenly remembered seeing something in the fraction of a second before the world went topsy-turvy. “Wait a tic. Was that Thomas?”
“WHAT?”
---
🎶 What were you thinking, telling me to change my game?
This style wasn't going anywhere; it was kaput!
You want to see what I've done with this place; this whole thing?
You want to see that I changed the game?
No, I AM the game!
Before I knew where this was going, I would've listened to you
Right now, I distance myself from what you have to say!
I made this something way bigger than you're ever gonna be
I made it this far; and I'm taking it to the top 🎶
----
Pip and Emma laughed gaily as they overtook the NMT, and powered on towards Kellsthorpe Road like they weren’t towing several hundred tonnes of freight train behind them.
Murgatroyd gaped in shock as he was passed by the steam engine they were carrying as cargo.
The shock quickly turned into outrage, and he felt the red-hot sting of being one-upped surge through his system. His engine began to rev higher, urging the train to move faster damn it.
“Whoa there,” his driver exclaimed, laying a firm hand on the controls. “We want to make it to the mainland, right?”
“I don’t care!” Murgatroyd ground his teeth, watching as the container wagons slipped past him. “They can’t win!”
But no matter how he tried, his driver wouldn’t let him speed up.
He howled and roared impotently as Pip and Emma got further and further ahead.
---
On the platforms of Kellsthorpe Road station, several surveyors were getting measurements of the newly-relaid line.
Looking down the magnified optics of a theodolite, the true character of the railway could be seen. What appeared to be a straight and flat section of line was actually a ribbon of steel that undulated and flowed over the terrain. While certain sections had just been flattened and graded, it was impossible to fully eliminate the contours of the earth without starting from scratch, and so the line rolled with the small hills and invisible valleys instead of cutting right through them.
“Hey, look at that.” One of the other surveyors said from behind an optical level. “You can see the NMT from here.”
“Can you?” asked his coworker, who quickly pointed his theodolite down the line. “I don’t see it.”
“It’s just gone behind the dip. Should be back in a moment.”
He fixed his eyes on the dip in the terrain. It was actually visible to the naked eye, but its height differential - deemed to be “within acceptable limits” - and its presence directly under a road bridge - meant that it had survived the recent track relaying unscathed.
The surveyors waited for the train to reappear, the optics of their measurement devices making things appear much larger than they really were.
With that in mind, it was something of a surprise to see an HST appear two tracks over from where the NMT had been. They both looked to that line just in time for the train to crest the hill.
There was a brief moment, no longer than a breath, where both men could see daylight shine underneath the train as all the wheels left the ground.
----
Pip and Emma hooted and hollered with glee as they roared through the approach to Kellsthorpe Road station. High speed crossovers and the new banked curve meant they didn’t have to check their speed in the slightest as they charged onwards.
The station came and went in a flash, and they leaned into the new corner at unprecedented speeds. Behind them, Thomas wailed loud enough to be heard over their motors, but they paid him little mind; they didn’t realize - or understand - exactly what he was experiencing.
Behind them, now far into the distance, the New Measurement Train was just rolling into the station.
They had won.
---
🎶 I came up from the bottom
And into the top
For the first time I feel alive!
I can fly like an eagle
And strike like a hawk
Do you think you can survive...
I came up from the bottom
And into the top
For the first time I feel alive!
I can fly like an eagle
And strike like a hawk
Do you think you can survive... the top? 🎶
----
Further up the line, Bertie the bus was pulling up to a level crossing, just as the gates went down.
“That was a great song on the radio, wasn’t it?” he said to his driver, who was thoroughly regretting turning on ManxPirate, thanks very much. “I feel like I should be racing something! Ooh! I know! The next train that comes by, we’ll try and chase it, huh? Just like the old times with Thomas!”
Honk-Honk
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
Whooooooooooooooooooooosh
The train passed in just a few seconds.
“Nevermind.”
-----
The song wound down to a stop, but Pip and Emma continued charging on.
The guard went so far as to pull the fuse on the radio, hoping that it would calm them down, but they were too far gone to consider dropping their speed until they reached Crovan’s Gate station. There, the speed limit dropped to 90; normally a mild inconvenience, but today it felt like they’d dropped an anchor behind them.
Still, they continued merrily along through the station as fast as was allowed (much to Thomas’s dismay) and continued east along the line.
As they cleared the station and began to speed up again, they noticed a cloud of smoke on the horizon.
There was still one more train they could catch…
-----
Compared to everyone else in this story, Gordon was having a blissfully uneventful day. He’d managed to put that vulgar measurement train almost totally out of his mind, and was making excellent time to the mainland when one considered the workmen-caused delay at Kellsthorpe Road.
There was a farm lane that crossed the tracks near Henry’s tunnel, and he whistled for it.
Honk-Honk
He was most surprised to hear a horn respond to him, and was flabbergasted to see Pip, then Emma, and then Thomas pass him like he was standing still!
“HiGordonByeGordon!” “HiGordonByeGordon!” “GORDON HELP ME!”
The train raced into the tunnel and vanished from sight.
Gordon could not believe what he had seen!
----
Eventually, the speed limits dropped, and the four track main line merged into two just after Vicarstown. Rolling over the lift bridge at a sedate twenty miles an hour Pip and Emma finally began to come down off their “runner’s really high.”
“That was great!” Pip gushed. “Just the sort of run we needed to clear everything out, am I right?”
“Uh, Pip?” Emma began to notice the state of Thomas. “I think we miiiiight have overdone this a little.”
Thomas could only whimper in agreement!
----
By the time the New Measurement Train rolled into Barrow station some thirty minutes later, Pip, Emma, and Gordon were all trying to console Thomas, to limited success.
“...Ahem!” Murgatroyd tried to slink into the station totally unnoticed, but John had no compunctions about making sure they were seen. “So, I assume that you two will be conducting all of this railway’s freight services from now on?”
“Oh,” Pip’s smile was very guilty looking as she turned away from the still shell-shocked Thomas. “Yeah. About that…” She swallowed deeply. “I’m… sorry about… y’know. All of that. The overtake.”
“What, me? Overtaken?” Murgatroyd tried and failed to play dumb. Well, a different kind of dumb from usual. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Pip’s smile grew much harder edged, and Gordon took the moment to intercede. “Look, Pip. You don’t owe that any apology of any form.”
Murgatroyd looked aggrieved. Gordon turned on him next. “And you. You are an uncouth abomination who have done nothing useful at all. Take the apology, cause no more trouble, and find yourself a better attitude elsewhere.”
Murgatroyd puffed himself up with self-righteous fury, and John regretted being an instigator.
“WELL, I-” He started.
“Oh shut up!” Thomas bellowed. “Stop talking before I come down there and peel you, you great useless banana! Everything that’s happened to me today is all your fault!”
Murgatroyd quailed under the impressive amount of vitriol Thomas was spewing, and he left in a chastised burst of soot and clag. John followed in his wake, not sure what, if anything to say. “Bye Pip. Bye Emma.”
Once the NMT had vanished from sight, Pip, Emma, and Gordon turned their attention back to Thomas.
“Great useless banana?” Gordon raised an eyebrow.
Thomas didn’t have the energy for a proper comeback, and simply stared at him knowingly.
“Fine, fine,” Gordon acknowledged the unsaid. “For an off-the-buffer moment after the day you’ve had, it was a fine jab. I’m just glad that you’re beginning to feel more like yourself.” He began to steam off towards the shed. “As such, I’ll be off.”
“Wait!” Thomas called. “Where are you going? Who’s taking me on the pick-up goods?”
“Thomas, I don’t take the pick-up goods,” Gordon called regally. “That’s what we have diesels for. I believe there’s two of them right in front of you!”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”
---------------------------------------------------------------
Post script: Low-loaders were subsequently banned from Pip and Emma's trains
#ttte#sodor#sodor shenangians#fic#trains#traintober#ttte gordon#ttte james#ttte boco#ttte henry#ttte edward#ttte thomas#ttte pip&emma#music#eurobeat#ttte percy#and just to make something clear#every aspect of this story has some kind of IRL basis#even that one
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On Trump cutting help to everyone but Israel and Egypt... He fucked up. As in, he literally just caused one of the things he said he would prevent, and I actually expected him to keep his word on this because doing otherwise would be immensely STUPID and successfully unite a large chunk of world, INCLUDING Israel, to be pissed at him. What I'm referring top is the impending increase in oil and fuel prices.
When Russia started its full scale invasion of Ukraine in 2022, a regime of sanctions was put in place with a precise goal: to keep Russia from making money out of its refined oil exports without removing said products from the market, thus increasing immensely the oil products worldwide including the US (a state with abundant exports, but the global market means that if oil prices go up they go up EVERYWHERE). This scheme worked, but had a very clear weak spot, namely Ukraine's increasing ability to forcibly stop the exports by targeting the pipelines, refineries (mostly on the Black Sea coast, as most of the exports were historically aimed to Europe and the initial oil fields were closer), and the so-called "shadow fleet" of poorly maintained tankers that allows the buyers to import Russian oil products and gas at higher prices than the price cap established by the sanctions (but still well below the market price).
Ukraine so far hadn't seriously tackled the Russia energy export ability because the US and Europe had a deal with them, weapons and help in exchange for not skyrocketing oil prices worldwide, a deal Ukraine mostly kept to... And then THIS IDIOT decided to give a "show of force" by cutting off help to Ukraine for ninety days. To which Ukraine, to whom defeat would mean genocide and knows better than stop fighting without solid guarantees, has already answered via an ACTUAL show of force by hitting the Ryazan Oil Refinery (the largest oil refinery in Russia, 196 km from Moscow thus making it a visible target). Twice. And at least the second attack caused secondary fires, with consequent "bonus" damage.
I don't have a car so I don't really notice this stuff unless I look at the oil pumps... But I expect gasoline and diesel prices to spike soon if they already haven't, leading a large chunk of America's allies, including Israel (oil IMPORTER nation, as they have no oil deposit) to tell this idiot to make a waiver for Ukraine YESTERDAY, all the while OPEC laughs and makes money after this long term decrease of the offer of oil products around the world.
He decided to show the world he had it by the balls, but it was the world that squeezed.
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Mike Luckovich
* * * *
LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
April 4, 2025
Heather Cox Richardson
Apr 05, 2025
The stock market rout continued today. As expected, China announced retaliatory tariffs in response to those President Donald Trump announced on Wednesday. Chinese leaders say they will impose a 34% tariff on all U.S. goods imported into China next Thursday. Apparently, Trump did not think China would respond to his tariffs, and tried to sound as if he was still in control of the situation.
Trump is spending a long weekend in Florida, where he is attending the LIV golf tournament at his Doral club. But at 8:25 this morning, he reposted on his social media channel a video in which the narrator claimed that Trump is crashing the markets on purpose. The video claimed that legendary investor Warren Buffet “just said Trump is making the best economic moves he’s seen in over fifty years.” It went on to explain how “the secret game he’s playing” “could make you rich.” Buffett’s conglomerate Berkshire Hathaway quickly denied Buffett had said any such thing as the video claimed. “All such reports are false,” it said. In March, Buffett called tariffs “an act of war, to some degree.”
Then, about an hour before the U.S. markets opened, Trump posted on his social media channel: “CHINA PLAYED IT WRONG, THEY PANICKED—THE ONE THING THEY CANNOT AFFORD TO DO!” About twenty minutes later, he posted: “TO THE MANY INVESTORS COMING INTO THE UNITED STATES AND INVESTING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MONEY, MY POLICIES WILL NEVER CHANGE. THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO GET RICH, RICHER THAN EVER BEFORE!!!”
When the markets opened, they plummeted again. During trading today, the Dow Jones Industrial Average fell 2,231 points, or 5.5%, on top of the 1,679 points it fell yesterday. The S&P 500 fell 5.97% following the 4.84% it lost yesterday. The Nasdaq Composite dropped a further 5.8% after yesterday’s drop of nearly 6%. Oil prices also fell sharply despite the fact that Trump had exempted the U.S. energy industry from tariffs, as traders anticipate lower economic growth and thus less demand for gasoline, diesel, and jet fuel.
Twenty-five minutes before the market closed, Trump posted: “ONLY THE WEAK WILL FAIL!”
After-market trading continued downward.
Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell said today that Trump’s tariffs are “highly likely” to increase inflation and risk throwing people out of work. Economists at JPMorgan now place the odds of global recession at 60% unless the tariffs are ended.
Natalie Allison, Jeff Stein, Cat Zakrzewski, and Michael Birnbaum of the Washington Post reported how Trump came to impose the tariffs. After aides from a number of different government agencies came up with options for Trump to review, he decided instead on a different option, one that has drawn ridicule because it is crude and has nothing to do with tariffs at all. He reached the amounts of tariff levies by dividing the trade deficit of each nation (not including services) by the value of its imports and then dividing the final number by 2.
The reporters note that Trump didn’t land on a plan until less than three hours before he announced it, and made his choice with little input from business or foreign leaders. Neither Republican lawmakers nor the president’s team knew what Trump would do. “He’s at the peak of just not giving a f*ck anymore,” a White House official told the reporters. “Bad news stories? Doesn’t give a f*ck. He’s going to do what he’s going to do. He’s going to do what he promised to do on the campaign trail.”
While right-wing media and Republican lawmakers have worked hard to spin the economic crisis sparked by Trump’s tariffs, Financial Times chief data reporter John Burn-Murdoch used charts on social media to show that Americans are not happy. Consumers give Trump’s economic plan the worst ratings of any administration’s economic policy since records began. He has had the same impact on economic uncertainty as the global coronavirus pandemic did. Almost 60% of Americans expect the economy to deteriorate over the next year, and they are very worried about job losses.
Burn-Murdoch noted that despite the attempt of right-wing media to hide the crisis, more than half of Americans have heard unfavorable business news coverage of the government’s policies. While MAGA continues to approve of Trump, he’s rapidly losing support among the rest of the coalition that put him into office.
The administration apparently doesn’t care much more about the law than it does about the reactions to the tariffs that are crashing the economy. Today, U.S. District Court judge Paula Xinis ordered the government to bring back to the United States no later than 11:59 p.m. on April 7 a legal resident it mistakenly sent to a notorious prison for terrorists in El Salvador. On Monday, administration lawyers told the court that the government had swept up Kilmar Abrego Garcia because of an “administrative error” but that it could not bring him back because he was outside the reach of American laws.
Priscilla Alvarez and Emily R. Condon of CNN note that in a hearing about the case, Xinis said that Abrego Garcia, who was in the U.S. legally and was not charged with any crimes, was arrested last month “without legal basis” and was deported “without justification of legal basis.” “This was an illegal act,” Xinis said. “Congress said you can’t do it, and you did it anyway.”
Trump’s deputy chief of staff, Stephen Miller, responded to the judge’s order by calling Xinis a “Marxist judge” who “thinks she’s president of El Salvador.” The White House responded to the judge’s order by saying, “We suggest the Judge contact President Bukele [of El Salvador] because we are unaware of the judge having jurisdiction or authority over the country of El Salvador.”
Legal analyst Steve Vladeck responded that while a U.S. federal court cannot order the Salvadoran government to release Abrego Garcia, the U.S. government should be able to secure his release. If it can—and in this case it should be able to—the court can order it to do so.
If that were not the case, the administration could simply get rid of anyone it wanted to by sending them to a prison outside the jurisdiction of the United States and then claiming it had no way to get them back.
Tonight, as the economy is in turmoil, Trump is speaking at a $1 million-per-person candlelight fundraising dinner at the Trump Organization's Mar-a-Lago property for the super PAC, MAGA Inc., that supports Trump. By law, MAGA Inc. can’t coordinate with Trump’s campaign organization, so the invitations for the dinner say that Trump is simply a guest speaker and is not asking for donations.
The terrible storms in the middle of the country continue. Authorities have issued flash flood emergencies in parts of Missouri, Texas, and Arkansas, and heavy rains are also expected in Kentucky.
Finally, four soldiers who died when their military vehicle sank in a deep swamp in Lithuania during a training exercise came home to Dover Air Force Base, in Dover, Delaware, today. Their recovery took about 200 U.S., Polish, Estonian, and Lithuanian personnel a week and required drones, search dogs, Navy divers, and ground-penetrating radar, as well as 70 tons of sand and gravel.
“We consider US soldiers in Lithuania as our own,” the Lithuanian Defense Ministry said after thousands of people joined Lithuanian president Gitanas Nausėda and other dignitaries in a dignified departure ceremony of the soldiers from Lithuania. “The farewell ceremony once again demonstrated our society's solidarity, respect, and gratitude to the Americans.”
—
LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
HEATHER COX RICHARDSON
#Heather Cox Richardson#Letters From An American#the mad king#tariffs#the stock market#soldiers#Lithuania#economic politcy
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1977 Pontiac Grand Prix
A complete reworking of the front header and bumper highlighted the 1977 Grand Prix, which was the final year for the 1973-vintage bodyshell that was set to be replaced by a downsized GP for 1978. The parking lamps were now positioned between the quad headlamps (same setup as a 1967 or 1968 Oldsmobile Cutlass), and the previous year's 'waterfall' grille was replaced by a narrower one that extended into the lower portion of the bumper. Behind the bumper were new reinforcements (mounting panels) made from aluminum rather than steel to reduce weight. In back the taillights were simplified to eliminate the weighty pot metal bezels that created the horizontal stripe effect in 1976. The same three models (J, LJ, and SJ) were carried over with engine revisions. The base Model J got Pontiac's new 135 hp (101 kW) 301 cu in (4.9 L) V8 as standard equipment, which was much too small and underpowered to propel a 4,000-pound car. Optional engines included a 160 hp (119 kW) 350 cu in (5.7 L) V8 or 180 hp (130 kW) 400 cu in (6.6 L); those two engines standard on the LJ and SJ models, respectively. The original thinking on the 301 CID engine was that the weight savings from using a significantly lighter engine would cancel out the horsepower loss from the smaller displacement. This turned out to be a major miscalculation and 301 equipped cars became much less desirable among Grand Prix enthusiasts and collectors in later years. The 301 also had a knocking (pre-ignition) problem that was later determined to be caused by the shape of the combustion chamber.
Each of those engines were Pontiac-built units as in previous years, but offered in 49 of the 50 states. Because Pontiac's own V8 engines could not meet the more stringent California emission standards set for 1977, all Grand Prixs (and other Pontiac models) sold in California were powered by Oldsmobile-built engines including Lansing's 350 cu in (5.7 L) "Rocket V8" for J and LJ, and the 403 cu in (6.6 L) Rocket V8 standard on the SJ and optional on the other two GPs in California. Due to a shortage of Olds 350 engines resulting from record sales of Cutlasses and reduced production of that engine due to a plant conversion to build a Diesel V8 beginning in 1978, a few 1977 Grand Prixs destined for California reportedly came off the line with a Chevrolet-built 350 cu in (5.7 L) V8.
Grand Prix sales increased to an all-time high of over 270,000 units for 1977, the last year for this bodystyle, despite competition from a newly downsized and lower-priced Ford Thunderbird introduced this year and a restyled Mercury Cougar XR-7 whose bodyshell switched to the T-Bird this year from the discontinued Ford Torino/Mercury Montego.
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A short note on your ability to help fight climate change
I've noticed a trend in some liberal spaces to laugh at the idea of personal responsibility in trying to prevent catastrophic climate change. The story goes, "The government has been telling us for years to recycle and bike to work and use reusable water bottles and that we can make a difference! But really 100 companies are responsible for 71% of global emissions, so this is all bunk actually, and putting the responsibility on all our shoulders when it's those guys who need to change! Me putting up string lights doesn't make a difference actually in the big picture." I want to push back on this a little as a scientist and climate advocate, and I want to give you some things to be aware of. First, those 100 companies are all energy companies, not companies like Amazon. They are the big producers of coal, oil, and gas worldwide. And that coal and natural gas are what are burned to provide the electricity that powers all our lives. The demand for that is every single thing you do that uses electricity. It is a massive collective phenomenon. That natural gas is what you likely burn to heat your house in the winter, and possibly how you cook your food. You might be doing so right now. Unless you have an electric car or scooter etc, gasoline is what powers your car. Many of your purchases are shipped across oceans with diesel. The demand for energy is from all of us. Many cities, at least in the US have CO2 budgets you can look up. If you do, you will see plots like this:
These are from a report prepared by the US National Energy Technology Lab about the nearby city of Pittsburgh PA, one of the two largest cities in the state of Pennsylvania. These are really simple plots, so take a minute to look at them, and actually note the y-axis. MMBtu is a unit of energy. One average single family home in the US uses about 50 MMBtu. The y-axis here is in millions of MMBtu. First, I want you to note that the greenhouse gas emissions are about an even 3-way split in if they come from electricity, natural gas, or transportation. All the renewable energy in the world would only impact one of those three categories. If all 100 of those energy companies replaced all their coal and oil with solar panels this year, that would only cut a third of these emissions. Only things that use electricity can be made lower emissions by switching to renewables and nuclear. For example, 1/3rd of the CO2 in this city comes from transportation and most of that is cars. Some of it is trucks, some of it is buses, but most of it is people driving around. This is why community organizers and climate activists want you to bike, take the bus, or get an electric or hybrid car. The total effect of everyone driving is actually massive! "But" I hear you say. "American infrastructure is car-centric! There are no buses where I live or I can't use them! And I can't afford to buy a new electric car." Yeah. I know. It sucks. But cities don't actually have enough money to rebuild the city to fix this, or to buy everyone new cars. But you can look up if your city has any sort of bond measure or sales tax to support public transit, or community feedback about it and try to support those things. But think about this. If the next time everyone in the city went to buy a new car, if they just checked if there was a hybrid in their price range and got that, then that would shift the composition towards being more electricity and less burning gasoline. This is what everyone calls "Electrification" and only by electrifying things can you reduce emissions in those sectors. Otherwise they stay totally flat and we just can't afford that. Let's look at the second plot, the city's monthly consumption broken down by electricity and natural gas. We see that the electricity is very flat over the year. Looking at the third plot, this is dominated by commercial use. Think like, big hospitals. This is not dominated by industry. It might be, depending on your city! But this electricity can come from renewable energy with grid scale and distributed storage. And there are programs in place now to try to bring these down. What about natural gas? Looking at the final plot we see that that is mostly residential. This is from heating and gas stoves. This is why you have heard your local city leaders talking about replacing your gas stove with electric or your gas furnace with a heat pump. These residential uses, summed over the whole population, contribute very significantly to the greenhouse gas emissions. [Note, check here if your electricity is still primarily from Coal. If so, natural gas has significantly less emissions than coal and you should wait to electrify until your electricity is itself mostly natural gas, renewables, and nuclear.] This is why you keep seeing programs offering tax rebates and other tools to give you benefits for switching from natural gas. This means your city or county leaders have assessed that it would be beneficial now to do this to start reducing that huge residential natural gas emissions source. If anyone you know owns a home, they could check and see if they could pay the same to replace old appliances with electric versions vs new natural gas ones, possibly with the help of government incentives. See the DOE page on heat pumps. If they did, it would help because again, the government can't come in and change your appliances for you.
But what about those 100 companies and their fossil fuels? None of this stops that, or lowers the carbon emissions from the electricity that makes everything run. True! But there are genuinely people working on that and you can too. Note that many of the easy actions your government could take to address this would cost you a lot of money and be deeply inequitable. For example, tripling the price of gas. The reason for all these government incentives is to try to get people to make these changes without doing that. So see if community solar is legal in your area, or if you can choose your electricity provider, or take other action to demonstrate interest in renewables. Email your elected officials and demand a cap-and-trade (or invest) program. Vote yes for these programs. If you work for a large company or institution, talk to someone about if the company could negotiate a Power Purchase Agreement. Look into stand-alone-battery storage even if solar isn't in your budget or wouldn't be efficient where you live because there being distributed battery storage helps reduce the peaking needs of the Grid and reduces demand for fossil fuels (and helps you save money and get through power outages). Learn about nuclear power and understand that it has to stay for us to get off fossil fuels. Keep protesting pipelines. Finally, most city greenhouse gas emissions budgets like the above don't include the emissions from consumption and shipping. Aka, the full supply chain emissions to get things delivered to cities (and it is, primarily, TO cities). Thus they are mostly under-estimates of the aggregate day to day impacts of the general populace. Moral or the story: Buy local, ride your bike, recycle your glass and do it properly, genuinely look into electrifying your transport and appliances as you are able, and then get involved in your community to do more. Don't kid yourself that you aren't part of the collective action problem. If you live in a major city in a developed country you are. You can't fix it yourself, but also it can't be fixed without your engagement, and all those PSAs and tax rebates and community organizing are the hard work of doing just that.
Note: This post is US-centric and the situation is very different in different countries. If you have anything to add that is more relevant to your country feel free to!
#ramblings#climate change#climate action#environmentalism#Seriously like check if you could save money long term with any of these things
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Ukraine has sufficient fuel and lubricant reserves for the heating season, ensuring stability and preventing price fluctuations, Deputy Energy Minister Mykola Kolisnyk announced on national television on Oct. 25.
"As of today, the reserves have been formed at the appropriate level. They help to balance the energy system, using various resources for generation," Kolisnyk said during a broadcast on the United News telethon.
Ukraine has imported a significant number of generators that run on diesel fuel, gasoline, or gas as backup power sources.
"For all these consumer groups, sufficient reserves have been formed to ensure that prices do not fluctuate during the winter and that we have clear confidence in the ability to have a stable heating season," the deputy minister added.
Situation in Ukraine's energy system
Then-CEO of NPC Ukrenergo Volodymyr Kudrytskyi stated on Aug. 29 that an apocalyptic scenario like a blackout this winter would not occur. Ukraine is much better prepared for the winter of 2024-2025 in terms of Ukrenergo's transport network than it was in 2022-2023.
Meanwhile, Ukrainian Prime Minister Denys Shmyhal noted on Sept. 10 that the upcoming winter could be the toughest yet. According to the Ministry of Energy, Ukraine has lost more than 9 GW due to Russian strikes in 2024, which could have supplied electricity to four EU countries.
Politico reported that the winter could be a turning point for Ukraine in the energy war, as Russia targets key substations that supply Ukrainian nuclear power plants.
The UN Human Rights Monitoring Mission in Ukraine said in its report on Sept. 19 that the electricity deficit in Ukraine could lead to power outages ranging from 4 to 18 hours per day this winter. Energy Minister German Halushchenko stated that Ukraine subsequently held talks with the UN and clarified that the organization did not have arguments for such calculations.
Energy workers completed the planned repair and put another reactor of a Ukrainian nuclear power plant into operation on Oct. 10, 11 days ahead of schedule. Thus, the state NPP operator Energoatom completed the 2024 repair campaign and prepared all nine power units located on Ukrainian-controlled territory for winter operation.
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Trains Down South, 10/23/24: The Score (part 3)
Okay, no more distractions. On to my actual goal.

This was my first target. GSSX 604 is an ALCo HH660 dating back to 1940. Right next to it is GSSX 9004, an ALCo S4 from '53, and hiding in the weeds behind that is a teeny tiny Plymouth switcher. All three were previously used at nearby Gopher State Scrap & Metal and gradually retired throughout the 2000s in favor of more modern locomotives which are easier to service. The scrapyard currently uses a SW-type diesel switcher.

9004 has a pretty funny story: after a fire in the cab, it was sold to GSS&M for scrap. Rather than cutting it up, they repaired the locomotive and used it for another decade until it got sidelined. This type of thing just doesn't happen anymore!

After my business in Mankato was over with, I drove west to New Ulm. My target here was NUQX 2004, an ALCo S2 which worked for the New Ulm Quartzite Quarry. Very little information on this locomotive is available online. It arrived there in 2004 and was used to load hoppers with ballast & rock for other uses until rail service was discontinued, maybe around 2010. The quarry is isolated from the national rail grid, only accessible via a historic swing bridge which is also out of service. I sent the quarry an email asking if they would let me in to get some ground-level pictures, but I haven't heard back. :(

When most people think of vintage locomotives in New Ulm, they think of the twin GP9s that served a defunct co-op on the edge of town. I visited them earlier in the summer, and that adventure will get its own post eventually. Since I was in the area, I couldn't just not stop by again. Both are being sold for the ludicrous price of $80,000: a locomotive like this in perfect condition averages about a third of that, but these have been sitting around for a while and need some work. There's a reason nobody's bought them yet...

I found this Kansas City Southern geep idling in the New Ulm yard while leaving town. KCS power seems rather out of place in south-central Minnesota, but it's not entirely unexpected after CP took them over. Right next the yard is a big, beautiful, antique grain elevator, and the golden hour sunlight made for some wonderful photography!


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Hey just wanted to suggest that you could also get a used school bus for the mobile home. They can be quiet expensive but if you know where to look you can get some for under 1000 (granted I don't know what state you live in so the price could vary on that front). Plus they look perty cool :)
oops im so sorry this ask got buried for a while. anyway yeah, i've been looking at short busses along with box vans and cargo vans. a full sized bus is going to be waaay too much for me even if it's cheap. the gas mileage on diesel is great, but it doesn't compensate for the raised price, and the size would limit my parking range. i'm not even sure about a short bus for the same reason, but it would be the ideal amount of space. i think a box van that runs on gas would be the compromise. lucky for me, all of these cost about the same amount on the online marketplaces, so i can take my pick when the time comes.
for my area, the cheapest of the vehicles ive been seeing start at 3k, but a good vehicle that i can drive away and start the conversion immediately will probably be around 5-7k. i'm still looking every week to see what's new. i really need to find a vehicle cheaper than 6k or the rest of my fundraiswr money won't cover the conversion, but i can't just get a cheap broken down vehicle bc i don't know what the repair costs would be like.
you know what would be really cool tho... there's a pub around here that's using a double decker bus straight out of london as a sort of patio seating. that would make a great home, a mansion even
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With Great Power Came No Responsibility

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me in NYC TONIGHT (26 Feb) with JOHN HODGMAN and at PENN STATE TOMORROW (Feb 27). More tour dates here. Mail-order signed copies from LA's Diesel Books.
Last night, I traveled to Toronto to deliver the annual Ursula Franklin Lecture at the University of Toronto's Innis College:
The lecture was called "With Great Power Came No Responsibility: How Enshittification Conquered the 21st Century and How We Can Overthrow It." It's the latest major speech in my series of talks on the subject, which started with last year's McLuhan Lecture in Berlin:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel
And continued with a summer Defcon keynote:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/17/hack-the-planet/#how-about-a-nice-game-of-chess
This speech specifically addresses the unique opportunities for disenshittification created by Trump's rapid unscheduled midair disassembly of the international free trade system. The US used trade deals to force nearly every country in the world to adopt the IP laws that make enshittification possible, and maybe even inevitable. As Trump burns these trade deals to the ground, the rest of the world has an unprecedented opportunity to retaliate against American bullying by getting rid of these laws and producing the tools, devices and services that can protect every tech user (including Americans) from being ripped off by US Big Tech companies.
I'm so grateful for the chance to give this talk. I was hosted for the day by the Centre for Culture and Technology, which was founded by Marshall McLuhan, and is housed in the coach house he used for his office. The talk itself took place in Innis College, named for Harold Innis, who is definitely the thinking person's Marshall McLuhan. What's more, I was mentored by Innis's daughter, Anne Innis Dagg, a radical, brilliant feminist biologist who pretty much invented the field of giraffology:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/02/19/pluralist-19-feb-2020/#annedagg
But with all respect due to Anne and her dad, Ursula Franklin is the thinking person's Harold Innis. A brilliant scientist, activist and communicator who dedicated her life to the idea that the most important fact about a technology wasn't what it did, but who it did it for and who it did it to. Getting to work out of McLuhan's office to present a talk in Innis's theater that was named after Franklin? Swoon!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ursula_Franklin
Here's the text of the talk, lightly edited:
I know tonight’s talk is supposed to be about decaying tech platforms, but I want to start by talking about nurses.
A January 2025 report from Groundwork Collective documents how increasingly nurses in the USA are hired through gig apps – "Uber for nurses” – so nurses never know from one day to the next whether they're going to work, or how much they'll get paid.
There's something high-tech going on here with those nurses' wages. These nursing apps – a cartel of three companies, Shiftkey, Shiftmed and Carerev – can play all kinds of games with labor pricing.
Before Shiftkey offers a nurse a shift, it purchases that worker's credit history from a data-broker. Specifically, it pays to find out how much credit-card debt the nurse is carrying, and whether it is overdue.
The more desperate the nurse's financial straits are, the lower the wage on offer. Because the more desperate you are, the less you'll accept to come and do the gruntwork of caring for the sick, the elderly, and the dying.
Now, there are lots of things going on here, and they're all terrible. What's more, they are emblematic of “enshittification,” the word I coined to describe the decay of online platforms.
When I first started writing about this, I focused on the external symptology of enshittification, a three stage process:
First, the platform is good to its end users, while finding a way to lock them in.
Like Google, which minimized ads and maximized spending on engineering for search results, even as they bought their way to dominance, bribing every service or product with a search box to make it a Google search box.
So no matter what browser you used, what mobile OS you used, what carrier you had, you would always be searching on Google by default. This got so batshit that by the early 2020s, Google was spending enough money to buy a whole-ass Twitter, every year or two, just to make sure that no one ever tried a search engine that wasn't Google.
That's stage one: be good to end users, lock in end users.
Stage two is when the platform starts to abuse end users to tempt in and enrich business customers. For Google, that’s advertisers and web publishers. An ever-larger fraction of a Google results page is given over to ads, which are marked with ever-subtler, ever smaller, ever grayer labels. Google uses its commercial surveillance data to target ads to us.
So that's stage two: things get worse for end users and get better for business customers.
But those business customers also get locked into the platform, dependent on those customers. Once businesses are getting as little as 10% of their revenue from Google, leaving Google becomes an existential risk. We talk a lot about Google's "monopoly" power, which is derived from its dominance as a seller. But Google is also a monopsony, a powerful buyer.
So now you have Google acting as a monopolist to its users (stage one), and a monoposonist for its business customers (stage two) and here comes stage three: where Google claws back all the value in the platform, save a homeopathic residue calculated to keep end users locked in, and business customers locked to those end users.
Google becomes enshittified.
In 2019, Google had a turning point. Search had grown as much as it possibly could. More than 90% of us used Google for search, and we searched for everything. Any thought or idle question that crossed our minds, we typed into Google.
How could Google grow? There were no more users left to switch to Google. We weren't going to search for more things. What could Google do?
Well, thanks to internal memos published during last year's monopoly trial against Google, we know what they did. They made search worse. They reduced the system's accuracy it so you had to search twice or more to get to the answer, thus doubling the number of queries, and doubling the number of ads.
Meanwhile, Google entered into a secret, illegal collusive arrangement with Facebook, codenamed Jedi Blue, to rig the ad market, fixing prices so advertisers paid more and publishers got less.
And that's how we get to the enshittified Google of today, where every query serves back a blob of AI slop, over five paid results tagged with the word AD in 8-point, 10% grey on white type, which is, in turn, over ten spammy links from SEO shovelware sites filled with more AI slop.
And yet, we still keep using Google, because we're locked into it. That's enshittification, from the outside. A company that's good to end users, while locking them in. Then it makes things worse for end users, to make things better for business customers, while locking them in. Then it takes all the value for itself and turns into a giant pile of shit.
Enshittification, a tragedy in three acts.
I started off focused on the outward signs of enshittification, but I think it's time we start thinking about what's going in inside the companies to make enshittification possible.
What is the technical mechanism for enshittification? I call it twiddling. Digital businesses have infinite flexibility, bequeathed to them by the marvellously flexible digital computers they run on. That means that firms can twiddle the knobs that control the fundamental aspects of their business. Every time you interact with a firm, everything is different: prices, costs, search rankings, recommendations.
Which takes me back to our nurses. This scam, where you look up the nurse's debt load and titer down the wage you offer based on it in realtime? That's twiddling. It's something you can only do with a computer. The bosses who are doing this aren't more evil than bosses of yore, they just have better tools.
Note that these aren't even tech bosses. These are health-care bosses, who happen to have tech.
Digitalization – weaving networked computers through a firm or a sector – enables this kind of twiddling that allows firms to shift value around, from end users to business customers, from business customers back to end users, and eventually, inevitably, to themselves.
And digitalization is coming to every sector – like nursing. Which means enshittification is coming to every sector – like nursing.
The legal scholar Veena Dubal coined a term to describe the twiddling that suppresses the wages of debt-burdened nurses. It's called "Algorithmic Wage Discrimination," and it follows the gig economy.
The gig economy is a major locus of enshittification, and it’s the largest tear in the membrane separating the virtual world from the real world. Gig work, where your shitty boss is a shitty app, and you aren't even allowed to call yourself an employee.
Uber invented this trick. Drivers who are picky about the jobs the app puts in front of them start to get higher wage offers. But if they yield to temptation and take some of those higher-waged option, then the wage starts to go down again, in random intervals, by small increments, designed to be below the threshold for human perception. Not so much boiling the frog as poaching it, until the Uber driver has gone into debt to buy a new car, and given up the side hustles that let them be picky about the rides they accepted. Then their wage goes down, and down, and down.
Twiddling is a crude trick done quickly. Any task that's simple but time consuming is a prime candidate for automation, and this kind of wage-theft would be unbearably tedious, labor-intensive and expensive to perform manually. No 19th century warehouse full of guys with green eyeshades slaving over ledgers could do this. You need digitalization.
Twiddling nurses' hourly wages is a perfect example of the role digitization pays in enshittification. Because this kind of thing isn't just bad for nurses – it's bad for patients, too. Do we really think that paying nurses based on how desperate they are, at a rate calculated to increase that desperation, and thus decrease the wage they are likely to work for, is going to result in nurses delivering the best care?
Do you want to your catheter inserted by a nurse on food stamps, who drove an Uber until midnight the night before, and skipped breakfast this morning in order to make rent?
This is why it’s so foolish to say "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." “If you’re not paying for the product” ascribes a mystical power to advertising-driven services: the power to bypass our critical faculties by surveilling us, and data-mining the resulting dossiers to locate our mental bind-spots, and weaponize them to get us to buy anything an advertiser is selling.
In this formulation, we are complicit in our own exploitation. By choosing to use "free" services, we invite our own exploitation by surveillance capitalists who have perfected a mind-control ray powered by the surveillance data we're voluntarily handing over by choosing ad-driven services.
The moral is that if we only went back to paying for things, instead of unrealistically demanding that everything be free, we would restore capitalism to its functional, non-surveillant state, and companies would start treating us better, because we'd be the customers, not the products.
That's why the surveillance capitalism hypothesis elevates companies like Apple as virtuous alternatives. Because Apple charges us money, rather than attention, it can focus on giving us better service, rather than exploiting us.
There's a superficially plausible logic to this. After all, in 2022, Apple updated its iOS operating system, which runs on iPhones and other mobile devices, introducing a tick box that allowed you to opt out of third-party surveillance, most notably Facebook’s.
96% of Apple customers ticked that box. The other 4% were, presumably drunk, or Facebook employees, or Facebook employees who were drunk. Which makes sense, because if I worked for Facebook, I'd be drunk all the time.
So on the face of it, it seems like Apple isn't treating its customers like "the product." But simultaneously with this privacy measure, Apple was secretly turning on its own surveillance system for iPhone owners, which would spy on them in exactly the way Facebook had, for exactly the same purpose: to target ads to you based on the places you'd been, the things you'd searched for, the communications you'd had, the links you'd clicked.
Apple didn't ask its customers for permission to spy on them. It didn't let opt out of this spying. It didn’t even tell them about it, and when it was caught, Apple lied about it.
It goes without saying that the $1000 Apple distraction rectangle in your pocket is something you paid for. The fact that you've paid for it doesn't stop Apple from treating you as the product. Apple treats its business customers – app vendors – like the product, screwing them out of 30 cents on every dollar they bring in, with mandatory payment processing fees that are 1,000% higher than the already extortionate industry norm.
Apple treats its end users – people who shell out a grand for a phone – like the product, spying on them to help target ads to them.
Apple treats everyone like the product.
This is what's going on with our gig-app nurses: the nurses are the product. The patients are the product. The hospitals are the product. In enshittification, "the product" is anyone who can be productized.
Fair and dignified treatment is not something you get as a customer loyalty perk, in exchange for parting with your money, rather than your attention. How do you get fair and dignified treatment? Well, I'm gonna get to that, but let's stay with our nurses for a while first.
The nurses are the product, and they're being twiddled, because they've been conscripted into the tech industry, via the digitalization of their own industry.
It's tempting to blame digitalization for this. But tech companies were not born enshittified. They spent years – decades – making pleasing products. If you're old enough to remember the launch of Google, you'll recall that, at the outset, Google was magic.
You could Ask Jeeves questions for a million years, you could load up Altavista with ten trillion boolean search operators meant to screen out low-grade results, and never come up with answers as crisp, as useful, as helpful, as the ones you'd get from a few vaguely descriptive words in a Google search-bar.
There's a reason we all switched to Google. Why so many of us bought iPhones. Why we joined our friends on Facebook. All of these services were born digital. They could have enshittified at any time. But they didn't – until they did. And they did it all at once.
If you were a nurse, and every patient that staggered into the ER had the same dreadful symptoms, you'd call the public health department and report a suspected outbreak of a new and dangerous epidemic.
Ursula Franklin held that technology's outcomes were not preordained. They are the result of deliberate choices. I like that very much, it's a very science fictional way of thinking about technology. Good science fiction isn't merely about what the technology does, but who it does it for, and who it does it to.
Those social factors are far more important than the mere technical specifications of a gadget. They're the difference between a system that warns you when you're about to drift out of your lane, and a system that tells your insurer that you nearly drifted out of your lane, so they can add $10 to your monthly premium.
They’re the difference between a spell checker that lets you know you've made a typo, and bossware that lets your manager use the number of typos you made this quarter so he can deny your bonus.
They’re the difference between an app that remembers where you parked your car, and an app that uses the location of your car as a criteria for including you in a reverse warrant for the identities of everyone in the vicinity of an anti-government protest.
I believe that enshittification is caused by changes not to technology, but to the policy environment. These are changes to the rules of the game, undertaken in living memory, by named parties, who were warned at the time about the likely outcomes of their actions, who are today very rich and respected, and face no consequences or accountability for their role in ushering in the enshittocene. They venture out into polite society without ever once wondering if someone is sizing them up for a pitchfork.
In other words: I think we created a crimogenic environment, a perfect breeding pool for the most pathogenic practices in our society, that have therefore multiplied, dominating decision-making in our firms and states, leading to a vast enshittening of everything.
And I think there's good news there, because if enshittification isn't the result a new kind of evil person, or the great forces of history bearing down on the moment to turn everything to shit, but rather the result of specific policy choices, then we can reverse those policies, make better ones and emerge from the enshittocene, consigning the enshitternet to the scrapheap of history, a mere transitional state between the old, good internet, and a new, good internet.
I'm not going to talk about AI today, because oh my god is AI a boring, overhyped subject. But I will use a metaphor about AI, about the limited liability company, which is a kind of immortal, artificial colony organism in which human beings serve as a kind of gut flora. My colleague Charlie Stross calls corporations "slow AI.”
So you've got these slow AIs whose guts are teeming with people, and the AI's imperative, the paperclip it wants to maximize, is profit. To maximize profits, you charge as much as you can, you pay your workers and suppliers as little as you can, you spend as little as possible on safety and quality.
Every dollar you don't spend on suppliers, workers, quality or safety is a dollar that can go to executives and shareholders. So there's a simple model of the corporation that could maximize its profits by charging infinity dollars, while paying nothing to its workers or suppliers, and ignoring quality and safety.
But that corporation wouldn't make any money, for the obvious reasons that none of us would buy what it was selling, and no one would work for it or supply it with goods. These constraints act as disciplining forces that tamp down the AI's impulse to charge infinity and pay nothing.
In tech, we have four of these constraints, anti-enshittificatory sources of discipline that make products and services better, pay workers more, and keep executives’ and shareholders' wealth from growing at the expense of customers, suppliers and labor.
The first of these constraints is markets. All other things being equal, a business that charges more and delivers less will lose customers to firms that are more generous about sharing value with workers, customers and suppliers.
This is the bedrock of capitalist theory, and it's the ideological basis for competition law, what our American cousins call "antitrust law."
The first antitrust law was 1890's Sherman Act, whose sponsor, Senator John Sherman, stumped for it from the senate floor, saying:
If we will not endure a King as a political power we should not endure a King over the production, transportation, and sale of the necessaries of life. If we would not submit to an emperor we should not submit to an autocrat of trade with power to prevent competition and to fix the price of any commodity.
Senator Sherman was reflecting the outrage of the anitmonopolist movement of the day, when proprietors of monopolistic firms assumed the role of dictators, with the power to decide who would work, who would starve, what could be sold, and what it cost.
Lacking competitors, they were too big to fail, too big to jail, and too big to care. As Lily Tomlin used to put it in her spoof AT&T ads on SNL: "We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.”
So what happened to the disciplining force of competition? We killed it. Starting 40-some years ago, the Reagaonomic views of the Chicago School economists transformed antitrust. They threw out John Sherman's idea that we need to keep companies competitive to prevent the emergence of "autocrats of trade,"and installed the idea that monopolies are efficient.
In other words, if Google has a 90% search market share, which it does, then we must infer that Google is the best search engine ever, and the best search engine possible. The only reason a better search engine hasn't stepped in is that Google is so skilled, so efficient, that there is no conceivable way to improve upon it.
We can tell that Google is the best because it has a monopoly, and we can tell that the monopoly is good because Google is the best.
So 40 years ago, the US – and its major trading partners – adopted an explicitly pro-monopoly competition policy.
Now, you'll be glad to hear that this isn't what happened to Canada. The US Trade Rep didn't come here and force us to neuter our competition laws. But don't get smug! The reason that didn't happen is that it didn't have to. Because Canada had no competition law to speak of, and never has.
In its entire history, the Competition Bureau has challenged three mergers, and it has halted precisely zero mergers, which is how we've ended up with a country that is beholden to the most mediocre plutocrats imaginable like the Irvings, the Westons, the Stronachs, the McCains and the Rogerses.
The only reason these chinless wonders were able to conquer this country Is that the Americans had been crushing their monopolists before they could conquer the US and move on to us. But 40 years ago, the rest of the world adopted the Chicago School's pro-monopoly "consumer welfare standard,” and we got…monopolies.
Monopolies in pharma, beer, glass bottles, vitamin C, athletic shoes, microchips, cars, mattresses, eyeglasses, and, of course, professional wrestling.
Remember: these are specific policies adopted in living memory, by named individuals, who were warned, and got rich, and never faced consequences. The economists who conceived of these policies are still around today, polishing their fake Nobel prizes, teaching at elite schools, making millions consulting for blue-chip firms.
When we confront them with the wreckage their policies created, they protest their innocence, maintaining – with a straight face – that there's no way to affirmatively connect pro-monopoly policies with the rise of monopolies.
It's like we used to put down rat poison and we didn't have a rat problem. Then these guys made us stop, and now rats are chewing our faces off, and they're making wide innocent eyes, saying, "How can you be sure that our anti-rat-poison policies are connected to global rat conquest? Maybe this is simply the Time of the Rat! Maybe sunspots caused rats to become more fecund than at any time in history! And if they bought the rat poison factories and shut them all down, well, so what of it? Shutting down rat poison factories after you've decided to stop putting down rat poison is an economically rational, Pareto-optimal decision."
Markets don't discipline tech companies because they don't compete with rivals, they buy them. That's a quote, from Mark Zuckerberg: “It is better to buy than to compete.”
Which is why Mark Zuckerberg bought Instagram for a billion dollars, even though it only had 12 employees and 25m users. As he wrote in a spectacularly ill-advised middle-of-the-night email to his CFO, he had to buy Instagram, because Facebook users were leaving Facebook for Instagram. By buying Instagram, Zuck ensured that anyone who left Facebook – the platform – would still be a prisoner of Facebook – the company.
Despite the fact that Zuckerberg put this confession in writing, the Obama administration let him go ahead with the merger, because every government, of every political stripe, for 40 years, adopted the posture that monopolies were efficient.
Now, think about our twiddled, immiserated nurses. Hospitals are among the most consolidated sectors in the US. First, we deregulated pharma mergers, and the pharma companies gobbled each other up at the rate of naughts, and they jacked up the price of drugs. So hospitals also merged to monopoly, a defensive maneuver that let a single hospital chain corner the majority of a region or city and say to the pharma companies, "either you make your products cheaper, or you can't sell them to any of our hospitals."
Of course, once this mission was accomplished, the hospitals started screwing the insurers, who staged their own incestuous orgy, buying and merging until most Americans have just three or two insurance options. This let the insurers fight back against the hospitals, but left patients and health care workers defenseless against the consolidated power of hospitals, pharma companies, pharmacy benefit managers, group purchasing organizations, and other health industry cartels, duopolies and monopolies.
Which is why nurses end up signing on to work for hospitals that use these ghastly apps. Remember, there's just three of these apps, replacing dozens of staffing agencies that once competed for nurses' labor.
Meanwhile, on the patient side, competition has never exercised discipline. No one ever shopped around for a cheaper ambulance or a better ER while they were having a heart attack. The price that people are willing to pay to not die is “everything they have.”
So you have this sector that has no business being a commercial enterprise in the first place, losing what little discipline they faced from competition, paving the way for enshittification.
But I said there are four forces that discipline companies. The second one of these forces is regulation, discipline imposed by states.
It’s a mistake to see market discipline and state discipline as two isolated realms. They are intimately connected. Because competition is a necessary condition for effective regulation.
Let me put this in terms that even the most ideological libertarians can understand. Say you think there should be precisely one regulation that governments should enforce: honoring contracts. For the government to serve as referee in that game, it must have the power to compel the players to honor their contracts. Which means that the smallest government you can have is determined by the largest corporation you're willing to permit.
So even if you're the kind of Musk-addled libertarian who can no longer open your copy of Atlas Shrugged because the pages are all stuck together, who pines for markets for human kidneys, and demands the right to sell yourself into slavery, you should still want a robust antitrust regime, so that these contracts can be enforced.
When a sector cartelizes, when it collapses into oligarchy, when the internet turns into "five giant websites, each filled with screenshots of the other four," then it captures its regulators.
After all, a sector with 100 competing companies is a rabble, at each others' throats. They can't agree on anything, especially how they're going to lobby.
While a sector of five companies – or four – or three – or two – or one – is a cartel, a racket, a conspiracy in waiting. A sector that has been boiled down to a mere handful of firms can agree on a common lobbying position.
What's more, they are so insulated from "wasteful competition" that they are aslosh in cash that they can mobilize to make their regulatory preferences into regulations. In other words, they can capture their regulators.
“Regulatory capture" may sound abstract and complicated, so let me put it in concrete terms. In the UK, the antitrust regulator is called the Competition and Markets Authority, run – until recently – by Marcus Bokkerink. The CMA has been one of the world's most effective investigators and regulators of Big Tech fuckery.
Last month, UK PM Keir Starmer fired Bokkerink and replaced him with Doug Gurr, the former head of Amazon UK. Hey, Starmer, the henhouse is on the line, they want their fox back.
But back to our nurses: there are plenty of examples of regulatory capture lurking in that example, but I'm going to pick the most egregious one, the fact that there are data brokers who will sell you information about the credit card debts of random Americans.
This is because the US Congress hasn't passed a new consumer privacy law since 1988, when Ronald Reagan signed a law called the Video Privacy Protection Act that bans video store clerks from telling newspapers which VHS cassettes you took home. The fact that Congress hasn't updated Americans' privacy protections since Die Hard was in theaters isn't a coincidence or an oversight. It is the expensively purchased inaction of a heavily concentrated – and thus wildly profitable – privacy-invasion industry that has monetized the abuse of human rights at unimaginable scale.
The coalition in favor of keeping privacy law frozen since the season finale of St Elsewhere keeps growing, because there is an unbounded set of way to transform the systematic invasion of our human rights into cash. There's a direct line from this phenomenon to nurses whose paychecks go down when they can't pay their credit-card bills.
So competition is dead, regulation is dead, and companies aren't disciplined by markets or by states.
But there are four forces that discipline firms, contributing to an inhospitable environment for the reproduction of sociopathic. enshittifying monsters.
So let's talk about those other two forces. The first is interoperability, the principle of two or more things working together. Like, you can put anyone's shoelaces in your shoes, anyone's gas in your gas tank, and anyone's lightbulbs in your light-socket. In the non-digital world, interop takes a lot of work, you have to agree on the direction, pitch, diameter, voltage, amperage and wattage for that light socket, or someone's gonna get their hand blown off.
But in the digital world, interop is built in, because there's only one kind of computer we know how to make, the Turing-complete, universal, von Neumann machine, a computing machine capable of executing every valid program.
Which means that for any enshittifying program, there's a counterenshittificatory program waiting to be run. When HP writes a program to ensure that its printers reject third-party ink, someone else can write a program to disable that checking.
For gig workers, antienshittificatory apps can do yeoman duty. For example, Indonesian gig drivers formed co-ops, that commission hackers to write modifications for their dispatch apps. For example, the taxi app won't book a driver to pick someone up at a train station, unless they're right outside, but when the big trains pull in that's a nightmare scene of total, lethal chaos.
So drivers have an app that lets them spoof their GPS, which lets them park up around the corner, but have the app tell their bosses that they're right out front of the station. When a fare arrives, they can zip around and pick them up, without contributing to the stationside mishegas.
In the USA, a company called Para shipped an app to help Doordash drivers get paid more. You see, Doordash drivers make most of their money on tips, and the Doordash driver app hides the tip amount until you accept a job, meaning you don't know whether you're accepting a job that pays $1.50 or $11.50 with tip, until you agree to take it. So Para made an app that extracted the tip amount and showed it to drivers before they clocked on.
But Doordash shut it down, because in America, apps like Para are illegal. In 1998, Bill Clinton signed a law called the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, and section 1201 of the DMCA makes is a felony to "bypass an access control for a copyrighted work," with penalties of $500k and a 5-year prison sentence for a first offense. So just the act of reverse-engineering an app like the Doordash app is a potential felony, which is why companies are so desperately horny to get you to use their apps rather than their websites.
The web is open, apps are closed. The majority of web users have installed an ad blocker (which is also a privacy blocker). But no one installs an ad blocker for an app, because it's a felony to distribute that tool, because you have to reverse-engineer the app to make it. An app is just a website wrapped in enough IP so that the company that made it can send you to prison if you dare to modify it so that it serves your interests rather than theirs.
Around the world, we have enacted a thicket of laws, we call “IP laws,” that make it illegal to modify services, products, and devices, so that they serve your interests, rather than the interests of the shareholders.
Like I said, these laws were enacted in living memory, by people who are among us, who were warned about the obvious, eminently foreseeable consequences of their reckless plans, who did it anyway.
Back in 2010, two ministers from Stephen Harper's government decided to copy-paste America's Digital Millennium Copyright Act into Canadian law. They consulted on the proposal to make it illegal to reverse engineer and modify services, products and devices, and they got an earful! 6,138 Canadians sent in negative comments on the consultation. They warned that making it illegal to bypass digital locks would interfere with repair of devices as diverse as tractors, cars, and medical equipment, from ventilators to insulin pumps.
These Canadians warned that laws banning tampering with digital locks would let American tech giants corner digital markets, forcing us to buy our apps and games from American app stores, that could cream off any commission they chose to levy. They warned that these laws were a gift to monopolists who wanted to jack up the price of ink; that these copyright laws, far from serving Canadian artists would lock us to American platforms. Because every time someone in our audience bought a book, a song, a game, a video, that was locked to an American app, it could never be unlocked.
So if we, the creative workers of Canada, tried to migrate to a Canadian store, our audience couldn't come with us. They couldn't move their purchases from the US app to a Canadian one.
6,138 Canadians told them this, while just 54 respondents sided with Heritage Minister James Moore and Industry Minister Tony Clement. Then, James Moore gave a speech, at the International Chamber of Commerce meeting here in Toronto, where he said he would only be listening to the 54 cranks who supported his terrible ideas, on the grounds that the 6,138 people who disagreed with him were "babyish…radical extremists."
So in 2012, we copied America's terrible digital locks law into the Canadian statute book, and now we live in James Moore and Tony Clement's world, where it is illegal to tamper with a digital lock. So if a company puts a digital lock on its product they can do anything behind that lock, and it's a crime to undo it.
For example, if HP puts a digital lock on its printers that verifies that you're not using third party ink cartridges, or refilling an HP cartridge, it's a crime to bypass that lock and use third party ink. Which is how HP has gotten away with ratcheting the price of ink up, and up, and up.
Printer ink is now the most expensive fluid that a civilian can purchase without a special permit. It's colored water that costs $10k/gallon, which means that you print out your grocery lists with liquid that costs more than the semen of a Kentucky Derby-winning stallion.
That's the world we got from Clement and Moore, in living memory, after they were warned, and did it anyway. The world where farmers can't fix their tractors, where independent mechanics can't fix your car, where hospitals during the pandemic lockdowns couldn't service their failing ventilators, where every time a Canadian iPhone user buys an app from a Canadian software author, every dollar they spend takes a round trip through Apple HQ in Cupertino, California and comes back 30 cents lighter.
Let me remind you this is the world where a nurse can't get a counter-app, a plug-in, for the “Uber for nurses” app they have to use to get work, that lets them coordinate with other nurses to refuse shifts until the wages on offer rise to a common level or to block surveillance of their movements and activity.
Interoperability was a major disciplining force on tech firms. After all, if you make the ads on your website sufficiently obnoxious, some fraction of your users will install an ad-blocker, and you will never earn another penny from them. Because no one in the history of ad-blockers has ever uninstalled an ad-blocker. But once it's illegal to make an ad-blocker, there's no reason not to make the ads as disgusting, invasive, obnoxious as you can, to shift all the value from the end user to shareholders and executives.
So we get monopolies and monopolies capture their regulators, and they can ignore the laws they don't like, and prevent laws that might interfere with their predatory conduct – like privacy laws – from being passed. They get new laws passed, laws that let them wield governmental power to prevent other companies from entering the market.
So three of the four forces are neutralized: competition, regulation, and interoperability. That left just one disciplining force holding enshittification at bay: labor.
Tech workers are a strange sort of workforce, because they have historically been very powerful, able to command high wages and respect, but they did it without joining unions. Union density in tech is abysmal, almost undetectable. Tech workers' power didn't come from solidarity, it came from scarcity. There weren't enough workers to fill the jobs going begging, and tech workers are unfathomnably productive. Even with the sky-high salaries tech workers commanded, every hour of labor they put in generated far more value for their employers.
Faced with a tight labor market, and the ability to turn every hour of tech worker overtime into gold, tech bosses pulled out all the stops to motivate that workforce. They appealed to workers' sense of mission, convinced them they were holy warriors, ushering in a new digital age. Google promised them they would "organize the world's information and make it useful.” Facebook promised them they would “make the world more open and connected."
There's a name for this tactic: the librarian Fobazi Ettarh calls it "vocational awe." That’s where an appeal to a sense of mission and pride is used to motivate workers to work for longer hours and worse pay.
There are all kinds of professions that run on vocational awe: teaching, daycares and eldercare, and, of course, nursing.
Techies are different from those other workers though, because they've historically been incredibly scarce, which meant that while bosses could motivate them to work on projects they believed in, for endless hours, the minute bosses ordered them to enshittify the projects they'd missed their mothers' funerals to ship on deadline these workers would tell their bosses to fuck off.
If their bosses persisted in these demands, the techies would walk off the job, cross the street, and get a better job the same day.
So for many years, tech workers were the fourth and final constraint, holding the line after the constraints of competition, regulation and interop slipped away. But then came the mass tech layoffs. 260,000 in 2023; 150,000 in 2024; tens of thousands this year, with Facebook planning a 5% headcount massacre while doubling its executive bonuses.
Tech workers can't tell their bosses to go fuck themselves anymore, because there's ten other workers waiting to take their jobs.
Now, I promised I wouldn't talk about AI, but I have to break that promise a little, just to point out that the reason tech bosses are so horny for AI Is because they think it'll let them fire tech workers and replace them with pliant chatbots who'll never tell them to fuck off.
So that's where enshittification comes from: multiple changes to the environment. The fourfold collapse of competition, regulation, interoperability and worker power creates an enshittogenic environment, where the greediest, most sociopathic elements in the body corporate thrive at the expense of those elements that act as moderators of their enshittificatory impulses.
We can try to cure these corporations. We can use antitrust law to break them up, fine them, force strictures upon them. But until we fix the environment, other the contagion will spread to other firms.
So let's talk about how we create a hostile environment for enshittifiers, so the population and importance of enshittifying agents in companies dwindles to 1990s levels. We won't get rid of these elements. So long as the profit motive is intact, there will be people whose pursuit of profit is pathological, unmoderated by shame or decency. But we can change the environment so that these don't dominate our lives.
Let's talk about antitrust. After 40 years of antitrust decline, this decade has seen a massive, global resurgence of antitrust vigor, one that comes in both left- and right-wing flavors.
Over the past four years, the Biden administration’s trustbusters at the Federal Trade Commission, Department of Justice and Consumer Finance Protection Bureau did more antitrust enforcement than all their predecessors for the past 40 years combined.
There's certainly factions of the Trump administration that are hostile to this agenda but Trump's antitrust enforcers at the DoJ and FTC now say that they'll preserve and enforce Biden's new merger guidelines, which stop companies from buying each other up, and they've already filed suit to block a giant tech merger.
Of course, last summer a judge found Google guilty of monopolization, and now they're facing a breakup, which explains why they've been so generous and friendly to the Trump administration.
Meanwhile, in Canada, our toothless Competition Bureau's got fitted for a set of titanium dentures last June, when Bill C59 passed Parliament, granting sweeping new powers to our antitrust regulator.
It's true that UK PM Keir Starmer just fired the head of the UK Competition and Markets Authority and replaced him with the ex-boss of Amazon UK boss.But the thing that makes that so tragic is that the UK CMA had been doing astonishingly great work under various conservative governments.
In the EU, they've passed the Digital Markets Act and the Digital Services Act, and they're going after Big Tech with both barrels. Other countries around the world – Australia, Germany, France, Japan, South Korea and China (yes, China!) – have passed new antitrust laws, and launched major antitrust enforcement actions, often collaborating with each other.
So you have the UK Competition and Markets Authority using its investigatory powers to research and publish a deep market study on Apple's abusive 30% app tax, and then the EU uses that report as a roadmap for fining Apple, and then banning Apple's payments monopoly under new regulations.Then South Korea and Japan trustbusters translate the EU's case and win nearly identical cases in their courts
What about regulatory capture? Well, we're starting to see regulators get smarter about reining in Big Tech. For example, the EU's Digital Markets Act and Digital Services Act were designed to bypass the national courts of EU member states, especially Ireland, the tax-haven where US tech companies pretend to have their EU headquarters.
The thing about tax havens is that they always turn into crime havens, because if Apple can pretend to be Irish this week, it can pretend to be Maltese or Cypriot or Luxembourgeois next week. So Ireland has to let US Big Tech companies ignore EU privacy laws and other regulations, or it'll lose them to sleazier, more biddable competitor nations.
So from now on, EU tech regulation is getting enforced in the EU's federal courts, not in national courts, treating the captured Irish courts as damage and routing around them.
Canada needs to strengthen its own tech regulation enforcement, unwinding monopolistic mergers from the likes of Bell and Rogers, but most of all, Canada needs to pursue an interoperability agenda.
Last year, Canada passed two very exciting bills: Bill C244, a national Right to Repair law; and Bill C294, an interoperability law. Nominally, both of these laws allow Canadians to fix everything from tractors to insulin pumps, and to modify the software in their devices from games consoles to printers, so they will work with third party app stores, consumables and add-ons.
However, these bills are essentially useless, because these bills don’t permit Canadians to acquire tools to break digital locks. So you can modify your printer to accept third party ink, or interpret a car's diagnostic codes so any mechanic can fix it, but only if there isn't a digital lock stopping you from doing so, because giving someone a tool to break a digital lock remains illegal thanks to the law that James Moore and Tony Clement shoved down the nation's throat in 2012.
And every single printer, smart speaker, car, tractor, appliance, medical implant and hospital medical device has a digital lock that stops you from fixing it, modifying it, or using third party parts, software, or consumables in it.
Which means that these two landmark laws on repair and interop are useless. So why not get rid of the 2012 law that bans breaking digital locks? Because these laws are part of our trade agreement with the USA. This is a law needed to maintain tariff-free access to US markets.
I don’t know if you've heard, but Donald Trump is going to impose a 25%, across-the-board tariff against Canadian exports. Trudeau's response is to impose retaliatory tariffs, which will make every American product that Canadians buy 25% more expensive. This is a very weird way to punish America!
You know what would be better? Abolish the Canadian laws that protect US Big Tech companies from Canadian competition. Make it legal to reverse-engineer, jailbreak and modify American technology products and services. Don't ask Facebook to pay a link tax to Canadian newspapers, make it legal to jailbreak all of Meta's apps and block all the ads in them, so Mark Zuckerberg doesn't make a dime off of us.
Make it legal for Canadian mechanics to jailbreak your Tesla and unlock every subscription feature, like autopilot and full access to your battery, for one price, forever. So you get more out of your car, and when you sell it, then next owner continues to enjoy those features, meaning they'll pay more for your used car.
That's how you hurt Elon Musk: not by being performatively appalled at his Nazi salutes. That doesn't cost him a dime. He loves the attention. No! Strike at the rent-extracting, insanely high-margin aftermarket subscriptions he relies on for his Swastikar business. Kick that guy right in the dongle!
Let Canadians stand up a Canadian app store for Apple devices, one that charges 3% to process transactions, not 30%. Then, every Canadian news outlet that sells subscriptions through an app, and every Canadian software author, musician and writer who sells through a mobile platform gets a 25% increase in revenues overnight, without signing up a single new customer.
But we can sign up new customers, by selling jailbreaking software and access to Canadian app stores, for every mobile device and games console to everyone in the world, and by pitching every games publisher and app maker on selling in the Canadian app store to customers anywhere without paying a 30% vig to American big tech companies.
We could sell every mechanic in the world a $100/month subscription to a universal diagnostic tool. Every farmer in the world could buy a kit that would let them fix their own John Deere tractors without paying a $200 callout charge for a Deere technician who inspects the repair the farmer is expected to perform.
They'd beat a path to our door. Canada could become a tech export powerhouse, while making everything cheaper for Canadian tech users, while making everything more profitable for anyone who sells media or software in an online store. And – this is the best part – it’s a frontal assault on the largest, most profitable US companies, the companies that are single-handedly keeping the S&P 500 in the black, striking directly at their most profitable lines of business, taking the revenues from those ripoff scams from hundreds of billions to zero, overnight, globally.
We don't have to stop at exporting reasonably priced pharmaceuticals to Americans! We could export the extremely lucrative tools of technological liberation to our American friends, too.
That's how you win a trade-war.
What about workers? Here we have good news and bad news.
The good news is that public approval for unions is at a high mark last seen in the early 1970s, and more workers want to join a union than at any time in generations, and unions themselves are sitting on record-breaking cash reserves they could be using to organize those workers.
But here's the bad news. The unions spent the Biden years, when they had the most favorable regulatory environment since the Carter administration, when public support for unions was at an all-time high, when more workers than ever wanted to join a union, when they had more money than ever to spend on unionizing those workers, doing fuck all. They allocatid mere pittances to union organizing efforts with the result that we finished the Biden years with fewer unionized workers than we started them with.
Then we got Trump, who illegally fired National Labor Relations Board member Gwynne Wilcox, leaving the NLRB without a quorum and thus unable to act on unfair labor practices or to certify union elections.
This is terrible. But it’s not game over. Trump fired the referees, and he thinks that this means the game has ended. But here's the thing: firing the referee doesn't end the game, it just means we're throwing out the rules. Trump thinks that labor law creates unions, but he's wrong. Unions are why we have labor law. Long before unions were legal, we had unions, who fought goons and ginks and company finks in` pitched battles in the streets.
That illegal solidarity resulted in the passage of labor law, which legalized unions. Labor law is passed because workers build power through solidarity. Law doesn't create that solidarity, it merely gives it a formal basis in law. Strip away that formal basis, and the worker power remains.
Worker power is the answer to vocational awe. After all, it's good for you and your fellow workers to feel a sense of mission about your jobs. If you feel that sense of mission, if you feel the duty to protect your users, your patients, your patrons, your students, a union lets you fulfill that duty.
We saw that in 2023 when Doug Ford promised to destroy the power of Ontario's public workers. Workers across the province rose up, promising a general strike, and Doug Ford folded like one of his cheap suits. Workers kicked the shit out of him, and we'll do it again. Promises made, promises kept.
The unscheduled midair disassembly of American labor law means that workers can have each others' backs again. Tech workers need other workers' help, because tech workers aren't scarce anymore, not after a half-million layoffs. Which means tech bosses aren't afraid of them anymore.
We know how tech bosses treat workers they aren't afraid of. Look at Jeff Bezos: the workers in his warehouses are injured on the job at 3 times the national rate, his delivery drivers have to pee in bottles, and they are monitored by AI cameras that snitch on them if their eyeballs aren't in the proscribed orientation or if their mouth is open too often while they drive, because policy forbids singing along to the radio.
By contrast, Amazon coders get to show up for work with pink mohawks, facial piercings, and black t-shirts that say things their bosses don't understand. They get to pee whenever they want. Jeff Bezos isn't sentimental about tech workers, nor does he harbor a particularized hatred of warehouse workers and delivery drivers. He treats his workers as terribly as he can get away with. That means that the pee bottles are coming for the coders, too.
It's not just Amazon, of course. Take Apple. Tim Cook was elevated to CEO in 2011. Apple's board chose him to succeed founder Steve Jobs because he is the guy who figured out how to shift Apple's production to contract manufacturers in China, without skimping on quality assurance, or suffering leaks of product specifications ahead of the company's legendary showy launches.
Today, Apple's products are made in a gigantic Foxconn factory in Zhengzhou nicknamed "iPhone City.” Indeed, these devices arrive in shipping containers at the Port of Los Angeles in a state of pristine perfection, manufactured to the finest tolerances, and free of any PR leaks.
To achieve this miraculous supply chain, all Tim Cook had to do was to make iPhone City a living hell, a place that is so horrific to work that they had to install suicide nets around the worker dorms to catch the plummeting bodies of workers who were so brutalized by Tim Cook's sweatshop that they attempted to take their own lives.
Tim Cook is also not sentimentally attached to tech workers, nor is he hostile to Chinese assembly line workers. He just treats his workers as badly as he can get away with, and with mass layoffs in the tech sector he can treat his coders much, much worse
How do tech workers get unions? Well, there are tech-specific organizations like Tech Solidarity and the Tech Workers Coalition. But tech workers will only get unions by having solidarity with other workers and receiving solidarity back from them. We all need to support every union. All workers need to have each other's backs.
We are entering a period of omnishambolic polycrisis.The ominous rumble of climate change, authoritarianism, genocide, xenophobia and transphobia has turned into an avalanche. The perpetrators of these crimes against humanity have weaponized the internet, colonizing the 21st century's digital nervous system, using it to attack its host, threatening civilization itself.
The enshitternet was purpose-built for this kind of apocalyptic co-option, organized around giant corporations who will trade a habitable planet and human rights for a three percent tax cut, who default us all into twiddle-friendly algorithmic feed, and block the interoperability that would let us escape their clutches with the backing of powerful governments whom they can call upon to "protect their IP rights."
It didn't have to be this way. The enshitternet was not inevitable. It was the product of specific policy choices, made in living memory, by named individuals.
No one came down off a mountain with two stone tablets, intoning Tony Clement, James Moore: Thou shalt make it a crime for Canadians to jailbreak their phones. Those guys chose enshittification, throwing away thousands of comments from Canadians who warned them what would come of it.
We don't have to be eternal prisoners of the catastrophic policy blunders of mediocre Tory ministers. As the omnicrisis polyshambles unfolds around us, we have the means, motive and opportunity to craft Canadian policies that bolster our sovereignty, protect our rights, and help us to set every technology user, in every country (including the USA) free.
The Trump presidency is an existential crisis but it also presents opportunities. When life gives you SARS, you make sarsaparilla. We once had an old, good internet, whose major defect was that it required too much technical expertise to use, so all our normie friends were excluded from that wondrous playground.
Web 2.0's online services had greased slides that made it easy for anyone to get online, but escaping from those Web 2.0 walled gardens meant was like climbing out of a greased pit. A new, good internet is possible, and necessary. We can build it, with all the technological self-determination of the old, good internet, and the ease of use of Web 2.0.
A place where we can find each other, coordinate and mobilize to resist and survive climate collapse, fascism, genocide and authoritarianism. We can build that new, good internet, and we must.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/26/ursula-franklin/#enshittification-eh
#pluralistic#bill c-11#canada#cdnpoli#Centre for Culture and Technology#enshittification#groundwork collective#innis college#jailbreak all the things#james moore#nurses#nursing#speeches#tariff wars#tariffs#technological self-determination#tony clement#toronto#u of t#university of toronto#ursula franklin#ursula franklin lecture
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RV Sales To Be Banned Across Six States As California Climate Rules Take Effect
Diesel motorhome sales are set to be halted in several states at the start of next year due to a new climate rule from California being enacted, according to RVtravel.
Motorhome sales are being prevented in California, Washington, Oregon, New York, Massachusetts and New Jersey if the vehicles do not meet certain emission requirements based on regulations from the California Air Resources Board (CARB), according to RVtravel. CARB amended its Advanced Clean Truck regulations on Oct. 24, which require all vehicles over 8,500 pounds to produce zero emissions.
Motorhome owners in the six states will not be allowed to register a recreational vehicle (RV) that is not in compliance with the climate regulation, according to RVtravel.
California has enacted various green energy policies in recent years, including filing a major lawsuit against Chevron and other oil companies seeking climate change damages in September 2023 and enacting a landmark corporate emissions disclosure requirement in October 2023. The state has seen drastically higher gas prices amid its policies and regulations aimed at cracking down on fuel refiners.
The Biden-Harris administration has rolled out various electric vehicle (EV) policies as part of President Joe Biden’s climate agenda, including introducing a strict tailpipe emissions rule in March that would require about 67% of all light-duty vehicles sold after 2032 to be EVs or hybrids. The president has been leading a push to build 500,000 public EV chargers nationwide by 2030, but the initiative has so far been majorly delayed.
Various American automakers have scaled back EV-related plans amid a lack of consumer demand. Toyota’s North American Chief Operating Officer Jack Hollis recently criticized policies promoting EV adoption, citing “impossible” standards.
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Electric Vehicle Market Key Players, Competition Tracking, Applications & Forecast 2034
Global revenue from the electric vehicle (EV) market is projected to reach US$ 442.34 billion in 2024, with expectations to grow at a robust CAGR of 14%, hitting US$ 1,639.84 billion by 2034.
This significant growth is largely fueled by increasing government and regulatory support for EV manufacturers. Incentives, subsidies, and policy initiatives aimed at reducing carbon emissions are playing a crucial role in driving adoption. Additionally, rising public awareness about the environmental impact of traditional internal combustion vehicles is prompting a shift toward cleaner transportation alternatives. The growing emphasis on electrifying public transportation systems further supports this transition and is expected to play a key role in shaping the EV market’s future trajectory.
For More Insights into the Market, Request a Sample of this Report: https://www.factmr.com/connectus/sample?flag=S&rep_id=10320
What are the Main Reasons Driving Sales of Electric Vehicles Worldwide?
“EV Battery Prices Witness Sharp Decline”
Over the past decade, the cost of EV batteries has dropped significantly, contributing to a notable reduction in the overall price of electric vehicles. As batteries are one of the most expensive components in an EV, advancements in battery technology, reductions in cathode material costs, and increased production efficiency have all played key roles in driving prices down. This trend is expected to continue, especially with the anticipated introduction of solid-state batteries, which promise higher energy density and improved safety at a lower cost per kWh by the end of the decade.
“Growing EV Demand Unlocks Opportunities in Transportation”
The surge in electric vehicle adoption is creating vast opportunities across the transportation sector. Key markets like China, the United States, and Germany are ramping up investments not only in EV production but also in expanding charging infrastructure. These countries are also pushing research and development efforts to enhance fast-charging capabilities, extend driving ranges, and develop more cost-effective battery technologies. To keep pace with rising demand, automakers are expected to continue investing heavily in innovation, infrastructure, and production capacity, setting the stage for sustained growth in the EV ecosystem.
Country-wise Analysis
As competition over fossil fuels intensifies among Middle Eastern nations, other countries are accelerating efforts to adopt electric vehicles to reduce reliance on oil and fuel imports. This shift has fueled a global race toward electrification. Major contributors to this transition include the United States, Canada, China, Japan, and South Korea, which collectively hold a significant share of the global electric vehicle market.
The U.S. has consistently led in technological innovation, with companies like Tesla championing sustainability and addressing the scarcity of fossil fuels to boost EV adoption. Growing awareness of climate change and the environmental damage caused by coal and other traditional fuels is driving consumers to transition from petrol and diesel vehicles to electric alternatives that are more eco-friendly and sustainable.
Category-wise Evaluation
Battery Electric Vehicle (BEV) propulsion has seen a surge in global popularity, especially among electric vehicle enthusiasts. Thanks to continuous advancements in battery technology and a growing emphasis on environmental sustainability, BEVs are gaining widespread attention for their zero-emission performance and transformative potential in the transportation sector.
As charging infrastructure becomes more accessible and widespread, consumer interest in BEVs continues to grow. Their appeal lies not only in their eco-friendly operation but also in the promise of lower maintenance and long-term operating costs, making them an increasingly attractive option for modern drivers.
Market Developments
Key players in the electric vehicle (EV) market are actively expanding their portfolios, including the introduction of electric trucks, to enhance profitability and market presence.
In March 2023, Moscow signed an agreement with KAMAZ to procure 1,000 electric buses, with plans to acquire an additional 200 units from GAZ Group. Currently, the city operates 1,055 electric buses across 79 routes. Looking ahead, Moscow aims to expand its electric bus network by adding 29 new routes, constructing over 200 ultra-fast charging stations, and establishing a second electric bus depot in the Mitino district.
Meanwhile, in February 2023, Chinese EV manufacturer BYD continued its strategic expansion in the European Union. The company appointed Motor Distributors Ltd. (MDL) as a new dealer in Ireland, covering key regions such as Dublin and Cork. Additionally, BYD strengthened its collaboration with RSA, its existing partner in Norway, to distribute its electric vehicles in Finland and Iceland. These developments highlight BYD’s growing commitment to increasing its footprint in the European EV market.
Read More: https://www.factmr.com/report/electric-vehicle-market
Segmentation of Electric Vehicle Market Research
By Technology :
Hybrid
Plug-in Hybrid
Battery
By Power Source :
Stored Electricity
On Board Electric Generators
By Vehicle Type :
Passenger Cars
Commercial Cars
Two Wheelers
Others
By Power Train :
Series
Parallel
Combined
By Region :
North America
Western Europe
Eastern Europe
Latin America
East Asia
South Asia & Pacific
Middle East & Africa
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭:
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Bulgarian state railways BDZ is offering trips on a retro train every Saturday in August from Sofia to Bankya and back, BDZ said on July 25.
The multiple unit train was produced in Austria in 1960, with technical specifications and furnishings that were very modern for its time.
Until 1994, it was used for trips by government officials.
It is currently used for hire by clients for private travel as well as for film productions and video shoots.
There will be two trips every Saturday.
The first will depart from Sofia at 8.30am and arrive in Bankya at 8.55am. The departure time for the return journey is 4.20pm, arriving in Sofia at 4.45pm.
The second will depart from Sofia at 9.40am and arrive in Bankya at 10.05am, with departure from Bankya at 6.15pm, arriving in Sofia at 6.39pm.
BDZ said that diesel engine #19 001.7 was manufactured in 1960 in SGP – Wien, Austria.
It consists of one first-class and one second-class department.
The first class compartment has nine luxuriously comfortable headrests and additional individual adjustable reading lights.
The second class compartment is made up of 28 soft seats distributed according to the 2+2 scheme.
The seats in both passenger compartments can be rotated depending on the direction of travel and adjusted to a semi-reclining position. The unit has a luxurious and precisely furnished bar with a coffee machine, a refrigerator and all the facilities for preparing cold and hot food. The price of a ticket for adult travel in both directions 30 leva, including a reserved seat. For children up to 10 years of age, the ticket is half price.
Tickets and reserved seats may be purchased online at https://bileti.bdz.bg/ and from ticket offices and railway desks in all stations in the country.
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youtube
You have probably not heard of the new Toyota HiLux Champ pickup. Probably because they don’t want you to know about it. “They” being the people who control the federal regulatory apparat, who don’t want you to know that people in other countries can buy a brand-new pick-up for $13,000 or so to start – something no American has been allowed to do (in America, at any rate) for more than 20 years.
And it’s more than just that. The ’24 HiLux Champ is a mid-sized pickup – not a compact. The latter was the last kind of truck you could buy here for around $13k or so brand-new, about 20 years ago.
You can guess why not – and it has nothing to do with “emissions.”
But hang on for just a second while we take a look at the truck you won’t be allowed to buy, if you’re stuck living in America.
The HiLux Champ is everything a truck used to be, beginning with affordable. It costs about half what you’d spend to buy the least-expensive new truck you’re allowed to buy in America – the Ford Maverick – which stickers for $23,920 to start. And unlike the Maverick – which looks like a truck – the Champ is a truck. Put another way, it isn’t based on a FWD/AWD layout (as the Maverick is) and it features body-on-frame construction rather than unibody construction, which is how almost all new cars are put together.
That means it’s tougher and simpler. Easier to fix – and less likely to break.
And it is affordable because it’s basic as it comes – which is how trucks used to come before a tag-team combo of government-mandated “safety” features that don’t make a vehicle less likely to crash (and in some cases, arguably, make them more likely to end up crashing) and a culture of living-beyond-our-means turned even “base” trim trucks into what would have been considered loaded trucks back when trucks were still trucks.
The HilLux Champ is like those trucks – the ones we used to be able to buy in America, some of them made by American companies. But that was a long time ago.
It is available in standard and long-wheelbase versions and with a diesel or either of two gas-burning four cylinder engines and a standard manual transmission – the latter once-upon-a-time being the standard transmission in pretty much every truck sold in America.
Ditto the regular cab – which has all but disappeared from the American truck market.
It even comes standard with AC – something that used to be optional in pretty much every truck sold in America back when trucks were still trucks and cost less rather than much more than cars, as they do now.
Just not climate-controlled, three-zone AC.
And just one air bag.
It also comes standard with configurability. Toyota designed it with pre-drilled attachment points to easily mount various types of beds, state kits, boxes – pretty much whatever the buyer would like to add to the truck. And Toyota will help the customer do that, by putting them in touch with aftermarket companies and suppliers that can help with that.
Instead of one-size-fits-all (and take-it-or-leave-it) and the price tag that comes along with it, here’s a truck that anyone who can afford a new motorcycle can afford to buy.
“Our ultimate goal,” says a Toyota spokesman, ” was to make this (vehicle) affordable and accessible. If people can afford their first car, which they can use to run a business and generate income, it will enhance their quality of life and provide new economic opportunities.“
It is unimaginable in America – what has become of America – because the American government is not interested in enhancing the quality of life of Americans – much less providing them with new economic opportunities made possible by their being able to afford a truck like the HiLux Champ. The government that rules Americans wants Americans to be endlessly struggling just to make ends meet, a goal that is achieved by making everything cost more than they can afford. Picture a gerbil wheel and you will have a sense of the plan.
The object being to prevent the accumulation of capital by average people, so that they never become capitalists. That being a threat to state capitalism – i.e., the ownership of essentially everything that matters by the government and the corporate lampreys that feed off of it.
This is achieved by arranging things in such a way that most people spend whatever they earn just to keep up with their debts. This serves the corollary interests of the government and the financial system that bought the government more than 100 years ago (if you’re interested in learning more about that, Edward Griffin’s Creature from Jekyll Island is an excellent primer).
And that is why Americans aren’t allowed to buy a $13k pick-up like the HiLux Champ.
Not because of “emissions” – which are just another bogey. The Champ’s engines do not pollute. But they aren’t compliant – with the very latest American emissions standards, which is not the same thing (or even in the same ballpark) as “polluting.” The Champ meets “Euro5” emissions standards, which allow for almost no emissions. But that is not good enough for the American regulatory apparat, which uses the pretext of “emissions” and the lie that trucks such as the HiLux Champ “pollute” to keep them out of the hands of American buyers.
So as to assure that American buyers aren’t able to buy – as opposed to endlessly make payments on – a truck like the Champ that they might be able to pay for in cash. Or pay off in a year or two.
And so be able to accumulate capital (wealth) rather than live hand-to-mouth.
And there you have it.
Or – rather – there you can’t have it. And now you know what – and why.
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Petrobras' new CEO upholds current pricing policy

The new CEO of Brazil's State-run oil company Petrobras Monday defended during a press conference the company's current pricing policies to preserve domestic market stability, Agência Brasil reported. Magda Chambriard had been on her post three days after a reshuffle ordered by President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva.
“Petrobras has always worked in line with international price trends. Sometimes a little higher, sometimes a little lower. What is highly undesirable is that you bring price instability to Brazilian society every day. Petrobras has always ensured this stability,” Chambriard said.
“Recently, we had a scenario in which the prices of gasoline, diesel, and derivatives in general were extremely high. President Lula, in his election campaign, promised to lower prices. And how has this been done? Now, is it fair to charge the same price for a product that I don't import as for a product on the international market that pays for freight, insurance, import risk, and importer earnings? All of this is present in a great formulation that has made the price of fuel more Brazilian,” she added.
Petrobras' current fuel pricing policy was adopted in May last year and represented the end of the International Parity Price (PPI), which had been in place for more than six years. Since 2016, prices charged domestically were linked to the international market based on the price of a barrel of Brent crude oil, which is calculated in US dollars. This practice led to the distribution of record dividends to the company's shareholders. In the current model, Petrobras does not stop taking the international market into account but incorporates references from the domestic market, it was explained.
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#brazil#brazilian politics#politics#economy#petrobras#magda chambriard#mod nise da silveira#image description in alt
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