#Did you guys take this stuff literally and not- oh we are not on the same page then hmmmm

[legalandnotease]

Lol, thanks @buckydeservesthebest

@sammywilson logic here is ridiculous. "oh its totally fine to work with Ross because he said he was wrong about the Accords so he's completely trustworthy now!"

Ross also said the Avengers would have some freedom to act under the Accords too. He lied. Its what he does. He was lying to Sam as well: Ross history makes it clear that he does not share power.

Ross actions throughout the movie prove he's not trustworthy in any way. Then, on top locking people up who he knows to be innocent Sam even finds evidence Ross rigged the election. or rather Sterns did to get Ross into power- but Ross agreed to it.

That's years of electoral interference which is utterly illegal. Instead of reporting it immediately and getting Ross out, Sam ignores it, focusing more of his attention on getting Isaiah out of prison.

Look I get it. Isaiah is important to you- but you've just discovered an mad scientist with a speciality in mind control has been puppeteering Ross for *years*. This is matter of national interest. Get your bloody priorities right Sam.

14 months later "anything could have happened". Who is funding them, fam? Who owns the tower, fam?

Yeah, yeah. Tony Stark owned the Tower before Val, but we all know he didn't run the Avengers. Come on. This is reaching. He funded their operations for a while, but he wasn't in charge.

Isn't it weird that you can tell the difference between paying for stuff and *running everything* in Tony's case but not in Thunderbolts.

We won't even go into the source of Tony's money- actually we wil. All his money was inherited from his father. Who made it from manufacturing weapons. Its literally blood money.

So you're fine with Sam using Tony's money gained from selling arms used to commit literal genocides... but not Bucky using government money. Gotcha.

Why did Yelena say "they don't tell us anything" heavily implying they are taking orders and being told where to go.

None of this proves Val is in charge. The US government doesn't consist entirely of Val. There's fucking thousands of people in the government.

This could refer to literally *anyone*. "They" could easily be that Congresman Gary guy Bucky was shown working with or even Mel Gold.

Literally all Yelena means their unnamed contacts aren't keeping them in the loop.

If they were doing their own thing, a) they wouldn't make a direct call to the govt

As above: I literally just said Val isn't the entire government. Are they directly calling *her*? No, they're calling their contacts whoever they are.

b) they would know what they were doing without waiting around for instructions after 14 months.

Again, lack of communication doesn't prove Val is running everything. This is all just desperate reaching. You still have literally *zero* evidence.

They were bastardized, especially with the articles and the photoshoots, meaning VAL is making them do that shit, meaning VAL is running the shots. Because no way in hell would Bucky Barnes and Yelena sign up to pose for fucking photos for the NYT or the New Yorker. C'mon.

This is the best one of all. "Bucky wouldn't pose for photos! This proves Val is making them do it!" Bucky is a Congressman. How in the name of fuck do you think people get elected to Congress? By magic incantanations? They go on the public campaign trial. They appear in the press and on televised interviews.

To get into Congress Bucky would have got used to public attention. He gets surrounded by journalists to answer questions in literally his first scene in the movie. Where do you think they published those questions? Use some critical thinking.

He wouldn't have any problem being in the news. He'd been in it for years. And Yelana is now a celebrity. Celebrities pose for photos. Yelena even said she wanted a "public facing" role earlier in the movie.

Not run by anyone, certainly not a team that spits on EVERYTHING his bffs Steve and Nat have worked tirelessly for.

And what was that? Is this the recently formulated Sam fan headcanon that the Avengers were never run by the government?

Kid, your lies are so transparent its not even funny. In Avengers 1, Nick Fury who literally *works for a government organization* forms the Avengers. SHIELD were a government organization. SHIELD operatives were government workers.

For the first 2 years of their existence the Avengers operated under SHIELD and had government funding, until Steve had to bring them down in Captain America: The Winter Soldier because they were infiltrated by HYDRA.

You also seem to be unaware that Natasha was on Team Tony until right at the end of Civil War. As is the Pro-Accords side who were actively co-operating with Ross. She signed the Accords, ffs. So what was that she stood for again? The only reason she became a fugitive was because T'Challa told Ross she helped Steve and Bucky escape during the airport fight. Not because she was opposed to government control.

Did you actually watch Civil War? or Avengers- because you don't seem to have done. You seem to just be relying on the secondhand version promoted by your friends.

Natasha would, however have been totally thrilled at her beloved sister becoming an Avenger. She'd have been proud of her. She was proud of her in the movies we already have.

And you seriously expect us to think Steve, who literally gave up his shield and his title of Captain America to save Bucky, would have been opposed to him being an Avenger? Certainly not as opposed as Sam fans are.

Bucky was written abborrantly in this film, and it's not because he has agency... I would've loved it if they took back the press conference, formed their own group at the end, and did everything their own way.

Yeah right kid. You gave yourself away when you started ranting about Walker who we never mentioned in any capacity and nobody I know remotely care about. You people are LIVID that Bucky DARED to step out of Sam's shadow and work with people who weren't him.

You consistently act like he needs Sam's permission to so much as breathe, let alone choose who he wants to work with. And God help him if its somebody Sam doesn't like or doesn't approve of.

(But its fine for Sam to work with the man who directly tried to kill Bucky not once but twice.. and notice neither Bucky nor his fans scream about that for days).

There wasn't time at the end of the 2 hour movie to show what happened after the press junket: they already had to cut a lot of material because it was too long.

The only thing we can be sure of is Sam fans would be screeching no matter what Bucky did because he's not Sam's accessory/pet anymore. And you cannot stand that.

t's because he forgot the entire reason he put together a team.

He put together a team to stop forces of evil hurting the innocent. First Val, then Sentry, then The Void. When he realized Bob wasn't a bad guy though he accepted him and helped him. Then they decided to keep on doing it.

Also, Bucky has always had a penchant for adopting losers since he first rescued the skinny little Steve Rogers from an alleyway. Ditching the Thunderbolts would have been far more ooc then sticking with them as a big brother/protector figure.

Becoming a Congresman shows Bucky was willing to work with people he hated and do something he hated if necessary to combat evil. You think he kiled schmoozing with the kind of people who used to order him to be tortured? At times, you have to operate within a flawed system, and if necessary, use that system to your advantage.

That's why he may have *repeat may have* allowed Val to bankroll things for a time- because his team needed the protection that an official role afforded them because like Steve found out, you can't do a lot of superhero work as a criminal or fugitive. At the same time, he's best positioned to ensure his team aren't made to do anything they disagree with or don't want to.

So I am gonna wade in on the controversy surrounding the Thunderbolts PC scene.

A lot of people are angry about Bucky and Sam's apparent fallout over the use of The Avengers name- and inevitiably the blame falls on Bucky.

Honestly? I think the real issue is that some fans think Bucky and Sam's relationship is still the same as it was The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, when Sam was basically Bucky's only friend and Bucky was dependent on him.

4-5 years have passed in universe since then, and Bucky now has other friends, connections and his own team. Which means he can't just go around making decisions without consulting them (he's not Tony Stark after all). He has to take account of what his teammates actually want: its not just about Sam anymore.

Its kind of interesting in a way: fans have said that Bucky needs to have his own life and make his own choices and yet the moment he does something which Sam disapproves of, he's lambasted for it.

Which is why I think the real issue isn't that Bucky and Sam have apparently had a falling out: its that Bucky has stepped out of Sam's shadow and is doing his own thing. He's not just Same's sidekick anymore. He's making his own choices, forming his own team, in the public eye as his own man.

Its not just Sam though: we've been so used to Bucky being the supporting role and playing second fiddle to someone else for so long that now he's acting independently its jarring, even shocking.

Bucky doesn't have to have Sam (or anyone else's) approval or permission anymore. Nobody has exclusive rights to tell Bucky what he can do, who he can associate with and who he can work for. That makes people mad.

And don't even get me started about the people loudly complaining about Bucky/The Thunderbolts "working for Val" because that's not what's happening even in the movie.

The Post-Credit scene is set 14 months after the movie: anything could have happened in that time. Val might not even still be alive at that point. Even if she is, it seems the Thunderbolts are only using her for money but she definately doesn't control them (they have the knowledge to bring her down after all).

If your issue is government control then you clearly have a short memory. In Brave New World Ross was asking Sam to form his own Avengers team. Meaning they would have been subject to the government and Ross: who was as bad as if not worse than Val.

Nobody raised objection to that. So, apparently, Sam creating an Avengers team at the behest of a politician and subject to the government isn't a problem.

But Bucky leading a team which pay lip service to the government but are really autonomous and under nobody's control except their own is obectionable.

Yeah that's called a double standard.

[cyclogenesis]

life update i'm leaving for france in approx eight hours but we still managed to fit in some fucking family drama nonsense last night and this morning like my life is RIDICULOUS

the thing is there's still so much stuff i didn't even talk about here during the Worst Four Months of My Life and that includes one insane thing which was both of my biological parents being in the same room with me for the first time in my entire life.

god, okay, let me summarize the lore. never knew my bio dad, mom didn't even know who he was bc she was 20 and fucking around (fine) and she didn't want to talk about it and got mad when i brought it up. i eventually decide to do an ancestry dna test at age 36 and with the help of my half-first cousin and a lot of googling i find him and reach out. it goes amazing. he's fantastic, he's thrilled to find out about me, we eventually meet in person and get along super well and it completely rules. i tell my mom and she's clearly resentful that i'm making her think about it but ultimately manages to peek over the precipice of her own selfishness and accept it.

so while i'm getting to know bio dad chris these are also covid times and my mom and stepdad are going insane bc they're entitled boomers who genuinely resent the idea that they might have to care about other people ever and they get facebooked into believing all sorts of dumb shit. i'm like, 'what??' and my stepdad yells at me and hangs up on me and my mom texts me and says 'don't respond to this message but you need to apologize to him' oh my god this is making me angry all over again. okay.

ultimately: i try to have a grown-up conversation with them in person thanksgiving 2021. stepdad yells at me, grabs my mom and they zoom away in his jeep. literally. grammy is pissed at me because i told my parents they hurt my feelings, which is so much worse than the fact that they hurt my feelings that our relationship is never the same. neither my mom nor my stepdad directly contact me again for TWO YEARS until my mom asks me to come for christmas and i tell her we need to have a serious talk first and then she ghosts me. for another year.

but then of course my stepdad who she chose over me divorces her, and i'm forced to interact with her again bc grammy's dying, and we never talk about it, and she never apologizes, bc she's an unbelievable fucking asshole. i have to shove all this down to my own detriment to help take care of grammy, who has also been an asshole to me, and i think we can all agree that not only am i a saint, but i should be crowned the next pope.

so while i'm in fresno, bio dad chris says he wants to come down and see grammy bc we'd all met up a few times and she really liked him (everyone does, he's great). i tell my mom, who has not seen him since they worked at sizzler together and fucked around one crazy autumn and conceived me, and she's like 'oh, great!' and i'm like good bc i wasn't asking.

so this is how, at age 41, i end up in the same room with both of my parents for the first time ever. chris and my mom hug and my mom starts crying, bc she did have fond memories of this guy she hadn't seen since she was 20 and everyone's emotions are running high. grammy's happy to see chris. we sit at grammy's dining room table and eat burger king and i'm like whooooa i'm having dinner with my parents for the first time ever. bro that is crazy. it was crazy!!!!

my mom pulls me aside and is like, wow, it's really great to see him, he's as nice as i remembered, and she's clearly beating around the bush so i'm like he's hot, right? and she's relieved like YES, he's hot, and i'm like lol. and then later she's like 'i think i kind of have a crush on him' and my life flashes before my eyes and i'm like haha but in my head i'm living the anti-parent trap. i would rather die than see my parents get (back) together. bitch leave him alone. i would not inflict my mother on him in a thousand years. he's great and she sucks. the best thing they ever did and will do is create me.

the next morning she gets a mildly upsetting text from my ex-stepdad and tags chris and is like 'can i talk to you for a second?' and from the other room i hear her say 'i know sara doesn't care about this' because she is a manipulative fucking asshole trying to get him on her side by making me look bad because there is something deeply and profoundly wrong with her and then she tells him she's upset bc ex-stepdad wants them to do their taxes separately and she thought they were going to do them together. wow.

i escape fresno. after a little more communication things trickle down into her barely contacting me bc, as we know, this was already a relationship she felt fine abandoning for three years, lmao. in a moment of weakness i text her about how i talked to amber benson and it was neat and she doesn't even text me back until the following morning. cool, fuck you too.

in april she asks me to come visit though! well, actually, she asks if i want to see if chris can come down too and we can all go together to see her high school best friend's cover band play at the table mountain casino. she suggests we look into getting a room at the hotel there and it's $289 a night to stay in a standard room at this casino in rural fresno county, which is more money than i spent for a ticket to fucking paris and also i don't want to go. i decline. from then on she doesn't text me and i have to text her in order to find out details about grammy's house selling, a thing she is present for and i am not. thanks.

so this morning i get this text:

oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. 'i don't want to put you on the spot' puts me on the spot. 'sad and lonely' damn that's crazy you're feeling alone bc the man you chose over me left you? what's it like to feel sad and lonely, tell me about it, you abandoned me for three fucking years so maybe i can relate. oh my god. i am just like i am fucking INCANDESCENT with rage. the audacity. the sheer fucking NERVE, can you imagine, as if i'm supposed to be sympathetic to HER, as if she has any right to ask me for a favor, after every fucking thing she's done, the abominable way that she has treated me, her only child, over the last several years, as if i would ever feed him into the gaping fucking narcissistic black hole of a maw that is her whiny, thoughtless, selfish, bitchy, NIGHTMARE OF A SELF...oh my god.

i left her ass on read. yeah i hope she feels stupid asking. i hope she feels sad and lonely and pathetic and not worth loving and so fucking easy to leave behind the way that she made me feel for three fucking years after she walked out on me. god i am so fucking ANGRY!!! every person i've told this whole story to has gotten the requisite joke about how i'm out here making the anti-parent trap happen bc lmao girl stay away from him but i still would not have imagined she would just straight up ask me to set her up with him. fuck off. FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

anyway this also follows last night when cousin leahmann the failure of an estate executor who nevertheless gets a third of everything called me and was like 'donnie doesn't have a headstone, it's $1600, i'll pay most of it but you can contribute' and then waited in silence for me to be like 'oh sure! i already shelled out $1481 for my share of the burial costs that she lied to me about pre-paying and insisted go toward her wishes of being put in a coffin and then into the ground with no funeral so there was no point and also she is dead so it doesn't matter what she wanted, to be honest, i think we should have just cremated her, and i'm never going to visit the gravesite, bc she's not in there, the thing that made her her is gone so i would not even be giving you money for an expensive rock for her, it would be for you, bc this is meaningful to you, not me, and it would feel to me like setting hundreds of dollars on fire in addition to the $1481 i already set on fire for you who insisted on getting the box and the hole in the ground,' but instead i was like well, let's see if the house sale goes through, bc that's presumably going to happen this week, i fucking hope.

and what's also insane is that he said to me repeatedly, after i gave up my only source of income and a month of my life to move in with grammy and take care of her at the end, that he would give me part of his share of the proceeds from the house for helping out so much, so why not just subtract whatever he wanted from me for the rock from however much he's going to give me as a thank you, right, like why are we even talking about this unless he's also a huge liar like grammy was and isn't going to follow through on his word, like my god, these FUCKING PEOPLE!!!!

so, neither he nor my mother know that i'm leaving the country tonight and will not be back for two and a half months lol. mom will find out from facebook when i post photos from paris the same way i used to find out things about her life from facebook bc she never told me shit either. here's hoping i just get to come back home to a check and then never have to deal with these people ever again!!!!!

[musubiki]

Alr, so you said that Goldwoods are like one of the prettiest people you would ever see--

Then i need to know if EVERY Goldwood is ginger.

Cuz i remember you once posted a picture of Limes sister, and im wondering from what part of the family are they ginger, like: their mother or their father?? Are their grandparents they live with also ginger? Will Limes and Mochi daughter also be one of them ginger? XDD

Also if we're (rather i am, but whatever) talking about family traits, CAN WE LEARN MORE PLS AB MOCHIS FATHER???? U also mentioned him before, but you havent shared a lot of info ab him 👉👈🥺

Only if you want to ofc🕊️

Also have a nice day!🌱

yeah (almost) every goldwood is a ginger!!! i lime and his sister are both gingers, i think they get it from their....dad..??? i havent decided that yet, but in any case their mom is also beautiful...upholding the goldwood reputation....and YES mochi and limes child is eventually a ginger as well hehe

i havent really talked about mochis dad..i dont even have a name for him yet (though dango is a strong name contender bc its a cute name and i havent used it on anyone yet but we'll see) but the best comparison i could make of him is that hes very gallagher-esq from hsr...that kinda gruffy laid back dilf energy. imagine a middle-aged battle hardened guy with mochis hair color (and also maybe the mochi hair fluff??)

as far as occupation its also up in the air bc i havent fleshed him out yet but i see him as the kind of person who has a lot of responsibility/people to take care of and also has to move around a lot, like the leader of the northern merchant caravans or something, and is also potentially related to/in the guild of another witch, which is why tiramisu didnt stay with him in the first place.. the kind of thing where you cant have too many powerful witches in one place and he actually did love her but had obligations to the other witch already... previous crow witch maybe???

[cannimumsable]

The pattern is that people straight up do not read™. or they read a 3-5 tweet summary of what happened and treat it as if they did. or because shonen expectations based on "the classics" is bullshit and significantly rotted people's brains when deciding wether an ending is good or not.

Which could be nothing right

yeahhh. i will forever regret reading the last chapter through leaks because it was a dreadful experience, and watching everyone ever shit on it for like a week after genuinely made me want to just get off the internet forever or something because i felt like an idiot for liking the ending (all this is my fault for getting too invested in both tumblr and mha etc etc).

All the "it's rushed" and pacing complaints barely matter to me at this point because you just cannot feel the pacing of something correctly when you're reading it exclusively through leaks. you can't absorb info like that. And don't get me started on the number of complaints and criticisms I've seen of the last chapter that are just provably bullshit (I saw someone say Izuku didn't get a statue lmao. yes he did, you just read the fucking leaks and watched twitter drama unfold instead of reading the actual chapter i fear).

[exopelagic]

this election feels so hollow even though it’s likely ostensibly gonna be a good outcome. labour really just sucks fucking ass rn huh

[bootycallin]

B(W)ETTER THAN ME !?

꩜ .ᐟ basically: vi hears from you that it's practically impossible for you to cum without having your clit played with, and guys never seem to find it to begin with. she takes that as a challenge.

cw: female reader with female anatomy. close friend vi. you can read this as modern au if you want, idfk. strap usage. doggy and then into another position idk the name of. manhandling. mentions of edging. petnames (doll, baby, etc.). overstimulation? squirting. very self indulgent if you couldn't tell. no plot just pôrn.

a/n; shoutout to my girls who are literally impossible to please without playing w they clit, we fightin for our lives over here. don’t expect a lot of pretty looking posts like this, i got excited. again, if any stuffs missing, pls tell me!! hope u like it…

NSFW UTC

"oh, really, doll?" it was an innocent conversation at first, you swore it was. you really don't know how it wound up with you bent over, face down ass up in your bed. your dearest friend, vi, right behind you. pounding into you. "it's frustrating," you said. "i can never cum from somebody just fucking me. no guy even knows that the clit exists either." you had been around vi enough to confide in her, even with your most intimate stories and complaints. what you didn't know is that by saying that, you inadvertantly challenged her.

"fuck, vi, wait--" you gasp, hand clumsily reaching behind you, feeling up her hipbone to her hard abs, glistened with sweat. "break. break. break." she had been plowing into you for what felt like hours now. realistically, it might only be a few minutes, but it's far longer than any other dude you had a fling with. for a second you wonder what the fuck she's eating to have this sort of stamina, because it sure as hell isn't human. "hurts?" she asked you, tone way too kind and sweet for the position she had you in. "no," you pant. "just... just gimme a sec--" it didn't hurt. quite the opposite-- it felt amazing. like nirvana except maybe ten times filthier. she was pounding you to cloud nine and back and gods, it felt good, but you still hadn't cum. right, she didn't play with your clit once. because she has to prove a point! she doesn't care how long shes gonna spend plowing into you with this goddamn strap, she wants to give you the best orgasm of your life, clit untouched. right now, for somebody that had never done this-- it was torture. a constant build-up, her tip repeatedly kissing the deepest places inside you until you felt like she was in your guts, rubbing against your slick walls, filling you up so good. it was too much, but not enough at the same time.

you didn't know, but she was being tortured too. she silently vowed to herself the moment she manhandled you onto your bed that she would not cum until you did. so, she's just sorta been edging herself for the past, like, seven minutes. may the higher lords of sex bless doggy, because were you to see her face right now, her ego would be destroyed. sweaty, red, nearly teary-eyed.

"want me to sto-"

"no," you answer just a tad too quickly. she cracks an amused huff at that, hands trailing up and down the curve of your ass, squeezing the plump flesh.

"fuck- just- gh!-"

you didn't have to finish the goddamn sentence, because when you were about to, vi has your wrists in her hands, pulling back and slamming forward into you with a guttural growl. it’s harsher, it’s meaner, and it feels so goddamn good.

you don't even realize what's happening until your back presses against her chest. she pulled you up against her, hands still wrapped tightly together as she rut into you. with the closer proximity, her face buried into the crook of your neck. you could hear her panting, groaning, growling with every smack of her hips against yours. oh, and she could hear every little cry that came from you when she rut into that little spot you always found hard to reach.

oh, vi. shit, fuck, fuck me, yes. oh, she's gonna be dreaming about you for a while after this.

"viii!--" you whine, throwing your head back. there it was again, that heat bubbling in your stomach like a boiling pot, ready to boil over. it was stronger. far stronger. your head was fuzzy with the feeling.

"shit, vi-- fuck, fuck, fuck, i think i-"

"close, doll?" she growled. she just barely gives you the time to respond, shuffling a bit so she could angle her hips up, and oh-

"vi!" found it. head first (literally) ramming into that gooey, sensitive and swollen bundle of nerves, the good old g. bet none of those guys were able to find it, huh, baby?

she growls into your shoulder when she feels your stubby little nails scratch at her lower abdomen, where she held your wrists back tight. you were close, she was close, she could feel it. perfect.

"vi, wait, shiiit!--" you cry out, but she's not stopping. it's too much to process, unlike anything you've ever felt before. you can feel the pressure building exponentially, your abused little cunt spasming around her cock, clenching so tight she nearly finds it hard to move if it weren't for the drippy slick running down your folds. it's strange, and for a second you're worried with the pressure building in your bladder, only to send shocks up to your clit.

"fuck, shit, it's weird, vi--" your head lolls back against her shoulder, jaw hanging open as you let out wanton cries and babbles.

"it's 'right, baby. jus' let go, come on..." she doesn't know if shes talking to you or herself. but she knows it works--

you finally cum with a dragged out whine of her name (that almost sounded like a scream, to be fair. she's surprised your throat isn't hoarse). you swear you black out for a second, vision going white as you feel like you explode into pleasured little pieces. and--

oh. oh.

the splashing of that milky, yet watery liquid, gushing all over her cock. damn, that's fucking hot. you should see yourself from her point of view. not only does she make you cum, she makes you squirt. vi takes that as enough victory to rut into you until she reaches her own orgasm-- which, to be fair, doesn't take too long since she's been on the edge of cumming for the past few minutes. she buries her face into your shoulder, eyes screwed shut. it still steals a few more whimpers and whines from you--and from her too, but she manages to hide them by biting your shoulder with a grunt.

too weak by both of your highs to keep upright, she ends up sitting back down onto the mattress, letting go of your arms only to wrap her own around your waist, cinching you two closer from behind. her strap has long since slipped out of you, leaving you dripping and empty, but ultimately satisfied.

"enjoy yourself?" you need a few minutes to come to and fro, blinking a few times before you see where vi is looking and look towards the direction, only to see the darkened, wet spot of your own making on you sheets. fuck.

"oh shit, that's--" you sound embarrassed, and she's quick to cut you off.

"it's fine, baby. just glad you enjoyed yourself." she chuckled. gods, she's so sweet when she wants to be. she runs her hands over your sides, kissing your nape.

"but you owe it to me, was that not the best orgasm of your life?" she whispers into your ear, her hand trailing down and down and down, until her ring and middle finger press against your twitchy clit, earning a sharp gasp from you.

"imagine what i could do playing with this pretty thing, though?"

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 © bootycallin on tumblr. do not copy, translate or cross post without permission. ᛝ

[strawbuddy-luv]

Trans Tim off handedly mentioning random things that just confuse people more and more because he never told them he was trans (only Bruce and Alfred know)

Tim: "For the mission I'm thinking I'll go undercover, but it'll take some work to hide the bruises I got earlier. They're everywhere"

Dick: "Oh I think Steph is free right now!"

Tim: "...Ok?"

Dick: "Don't worry I'm sure she'll help you out with this! "

Tim: "That's awesome but I don't think I'll need help. I know how to use makeup."

Dick: "Really-? Ohhh, yeah your public image is like, way more public than ours. That must be tiring, having to hide the bruises all the time."

Tim: "Well yeah but I knew how to use makeup before that. For like, galas as a kid and stuff"

Dick: "...yeah..."

-----

Steph: -Complaining about a man- "And then he said "Oh you should smile more" like "you look like you don't want to be here" like what- what the fuck-??? Maybe I fucking don't dude."

Tim: "Oh yeah I hate when they do that. Like you've spent the entire time bitching about the consistency of snails, I can close my mouth for a few seconds."

Steph: "..."

Tim: "...What-?"

Steph: "Well- I mean yeah but- you know I have to deal with it like...way more, and it's just a bit weird that like, you as a guy are, I dunno, trying to relate? I mean you don't have to deal with it litreally everyday"

Tim: "Well yeah not anymore, but, you know...I still did."

Steph: :...What-"

-----

Tim: -Resting against one of the rooftop ledges-

Jason: "Woah, I can't believe it, Red Robin, slacking. What would Bruce do if he saw this!"

Tim: "Fuck off, it's just period cramps." -Jumps off the edge of the building-

Jason: "Yeah whatever Timblina...

Your fucking what-"

-----

Bruce: "And for this mission, we'll be needing someone for the Caroline disguise, but we already know who that is so-"

Dick: "Wait does Steph actually know how to fight in heels-??"

Bruce: "...N-"

Steph: "Yeah Bruce, I mean, you could at least actually ask me before volunteering me to go fight crime in that dress."

Bruce: "You-"

Jason: "I mean no offense, but literally who else would do it? Cass isn't here right now and I don't think any of us are willing to get a boob job for the mission"

Bruce: "No one's getting a boob job-"

Steph: "Yeah! This is bat tech, Bruce probably has ultra realistic titties in everyone's color and size! Jason you wouldn't even need an attachment."

Jason: "I don't think Caroline Hills has fifty gun shot wounds and muscles the size of most those guys heads."

Steph: "Yeah bu-"

Bruce: "None of that will be necessary because none of you" -Pointing at the right side of the table- "Will be going. No one at this table will be needing any prosthetics...Or boob jobs."

Steph: "...Ok but who the fuck is going then-"

Bruce: "Tim."

The entire table: "..."

Steph: "Tim are you really willing to put on boobs for this-"

Dick: "I don't think that's the best idea-"

Jason: "You just said no prosthetics- Oh this'll be fucking rich"

Tim: "...

I...wouldn't need a boob job?? Or prosthetics?"

Jason: "Timbo, that dress is a pretty low cut, and, no offense, your training hasn't given you that many enhancements."

Tim: "...Thank you for the binding compliment?"

Dick: "The what-"

Tim: "Guys I- I already have boobs-"

The Table: "..."

Steph: "WHAT-"

Dick: "You do-?!"

Jason: "Bruce if you made Tim get boobs for some weird mission-"

Tim: "What- No! No one made me get boobs??? Besides, I don't know, biology I guess??? Genetics maybe???"

Dick: "...I'm extremely confused"

Steph: "WHO GAVE YOU BOOBS-???"

Tim: "I'm not really sure seeing as I was born with them"

Dick: "...

OHHHHHH-"

Steph: "What- is this like a birth defect or something???"

Dick: "Tim- Tim I think you're just gonna have to-"

Tim: "I'm trans."

Jason: "...That's-

Yeah

Ok yeah no that- that explains...a lot."

Steph: "..." -Head in hands- "I am such a fucking idiot"

[that-house]

Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to ���story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.

Remember that song from the beginning?

The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?

We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?

Let me off, let me in

Let others battle

We don’t need to battle

And we both shall win

Pressed in my palm

Was a stone from the beach

The perfect circle

Gave a moment of peace

Now I’m lying on the floor

Like I’m not worth a chair

I close my eyes and imagine

I’m not there.

[oikarma]

we keep this love in a photograph

pairing: lando norris x wolff!reader

summary: toto wolff's daughter and his golden boy, kimi antonelli. match in heaven, right? despite all the cute pics taken of you and kimi over the years, it turns out you might like boys behind the cameras more.

a/n: thank you sm for being my first request!! this was really cute and fun to write and i hope you like it.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by kimi.antonelli, francolapinto and 770,341 others

y/nwolff: found a new photographer

view all 12,097 comments

olliebearman: idk what you're talking about p1 is nice but whoever was holding the camera in p3 did a horrible job

y/nwolff: yeah idk who that rat is 🤷‍♀️ must've snuck into the frame kimi.antonelli: why do you insist on hurting me

user1: soft launch??

user2: girl she's been posting him for years now we need real confirmation user3: but they'd look so cute together 🥺 user2: @/user2 that's what we've all been sayinggg

francolapinto: pfft what photographer i could do better

y/nwolff: take me out to dinner and we'll see user4: uh oh someone's never getting a mercedes seat user5: @/user4 PLEASE toto probably gave kimi his seat to make sure he'd treat y/n well franco might be getting a little something sent his way

user6: mother and the guy she's dating

user7: i literally love you y/n

lando: where's the "thank you lando for inviting me to this lovely dinner"

y/nwolff: i literally already repaid you 😒 lando: i guess i like calling in favors user8: they're so sibling coded

y/nscloset: immaculate style as always * liked by y/nwolff

totowolff_original: No drinking and driving.

y/nwolff: tell that to kimi i still don't have my license

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by username1 and 530,192 others

f1gossipofficial: 5 years of kimiyn! our fav bestfriend duo - or maybe something more?

tagged: kimi.antonelli, y/nwolff

view all 7,006 comments

user1: confirmation whennn

user2: so basically they've been teasing us since the last decade??

user3: maybe they don't want it to affect kimi's public view? they might think toto has a preference for him cause of him and y/n user4: @/user3 well the two of them certainly aren't private about their friendship

user5: i need what they have 😭

user6: if only i was pretty and rich and toto wolff's daughter and my boyfriend was pretty and rich and a formula one driver who drove for my dad

user7: they never hard launched but the cutest couple on the grid frfr

user8: guys! my friend and i were passing by this paddle place near where she lives and she saw y/n and kimi going inside. he was carrying her stuff (bags, drink) for her while she was yapping at 3000 miles an hour and she was blushing so hard

user9: what a gentleman user10: drop the loc please i'll be signing up for a yearly membership

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by lando and 701,328 others

y/nwolff: guess who got his ass whooped

tagged: kimi.antonelli, lando

view all 9,125 comments

totowolff_original: No cursing, Y/N.

y/nwolff: sorry dad i just had to rub it in ☹️ y/nwolff: promise i won't do it next time

kimi.antonelli: i swear you hate me

y/nwolff: it's a hate love thing kimi kimi.antonelli: where is the love???? user1: IS THIS KIMIYN CONFIRMED

lando: guess who got her ass whooped

y/nwolff: idk not me lando: 🤨 ru sure about that user2: not them bickering again lmaoo

user2: yes girl get your man

user3: kimi trying to help y/n against lando was so cute

user4: RIGHT he was all heart eyes

user5: ofc the photographer she was talking ab last post was him

user6: kimi serving romcom tortured boy love interest

user7: the way i understood this immediately is concerning

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by y/nwolff and 901,339 others

lando: nothing like a friendly match

view all 21,483 comments

user1: the way i thought that was his 🫣

user2: same girl same

user3: whoever took this photo needs a raise we're getting all the offseason lando content we need

user4: lando were you making sure kimi and y/n weren't getting too handsy

user5: poor guy having to thirdwheel

y/nwolff: nothing like a big ego

lando: you like it user6: hello?? why is it getting hot in here user7: @/user6 dont be weird they're like siblings user8: idk that was not a sibling comment...toto what are your thoughts on this

user9: hes so fine oh my god

mclaren: staying in shape during off-season i see

lando: aren't you proud of me admin

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by y/nwolff, totowolff_official and 870,193 others

kimi.antonelli: bit of a downgrade

tagged: lando, y/nwolff

view all 7,034 comments

user1: lando what are you doing in the tags 😭

user2: check his stories, he was having dinner w y/n and kimi maybe they wanted to bike around the city together

user3: he looks so fine on that bike

mercedesamgf1: looking sharp today, kimi

kimi.antonelli: thanks! user4: it's the girlfriend effect

y/nwolff: yeah you had hair in the first pic

kimi.antonelli: why do i put up with you y/nwolff: because i'm fun 🫶 much love user5: y/n be nice to your man he's balding from the stress

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by olliebearman and 270,145 others

f1gossipofficial: SPOTTED! kimi antonelli, y/n wolff, and lando norris spending time together during the off-season

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user1: barbie and two kens

user2: i love how kimi is just in the background

user3: am i crazy or is this giving landoyn...like i can't unsee it

user4: and she's been posting him a lot recently.. user5: you're all crazy there's no way

user6: why is ollie in the likes

user7: she's so stunning

user8: giving mom, dad, and angsty teenager

user9: nono it's mother and son bonding while dad is on the phone user10: wtf is this family

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by totowolff_official and 1,039,472 others

y/nwolff: we kiss a lot, hope this helps ❤️

tagged: lando

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user1: my kimiyn heart...

user2: absolutely RADIANT

totowolff_official: You better not be in the McLaren paddock or start wearing orange all the time.

y/nwolff: but i have to show my boy support!! totowolff_official: You can do it in private. lando: i promise she will sir user3: DID HE JUST- user4: freaky ahh user5: toto's comments backfiring LMAOO

user6: oml that one girl on twt was right

supermaxmaxmax: I WAS!!! im not crazy!!!

user7: is this what kimi meant by being downgraded lolol

kimi.antonelli: yes i went from friend to furniture y/nwolff: stfu you're still my best friend he's just more than that lando: yeah i'm a lot to take in at once 😉 user8: ????????

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

lando has added to their stories

[caption: too busy to be holding the camera this time]

replies:

user1: lando why you gripping onto her like that

y/nwolff: woah i look so hot

lando: you are very hot

user2: mother and fatherr 🛐

user3: poor kimi 😭 having to thirdwheel and having to be photographer

kimi.antonelli: i'm doing god's work here

lando: either you're improving, or maybe you just have great subjects 😊

[wonderjanga]

Can I Please be Your Friend?

Billy doesn’t have friends. Between being Marvel and working odd jobs, he hasn’t really had the time some. So when he got invited to join the newly formed Justice League. He was ecstatic! Sure, these people were at least a very minimum of 20 years older than him and sure they would probably talk about taxes and stuff, but superhero friends! Meanwhile, the Justice League is like, “wow this guy is so social. I like it!”

Marvel: “You have a lighthouse…?” *sounds so amazed*

Aquaman: “Yeah. My dad was a lighthouse keeper so I got it when he passed.”

Marvel: “That’s so awesome! Can I come over?”

Aquaman: “Oh, okay? Sure?” *a little surprised he asked but eh whatever*

That was how Arthur spent the day showing Cap around the lighthouse. The man was a really good listener and was surprisingly very interested in listening to Arthur talk about how to use the light. You couldn’t even ask Arthur how they both ended up jumping off the railings of the lighthouse of dive into the water. You also couldn’t ask him how they ended up having a water fight, with the Atlantean calling for some sea creatures as back up. You also also couldn’t ask him how shocked a hotdog vendor was when he saw Captain Marvel and Aquaman, both of which who are supposed to be revered heroes, soaked, looking like wet dogs, asking for a couple of hotdogs after they nearly caused a tidal wave.

They got scolded by Batman a little while later for acting like children and almost causing the previously mentioned tidal wave. It was a little funny to see Batman scolding a man a solid two feet taller than him.

Soon after that whole incident, Marvel went to befriend Martian Manhunter next.

Marvel: *staring at J’onn while holding a box of cookies*

MM: *can hear him thinking about how to approach him and looks over to Marvel*

Marvel: *thinks a little too loudly and J’onn hears a nearly deafening “FRIEND”*

MM: *flinches and clutches his head* “Captain. Is something the matter.”

Marvel: “Oh uh…” *walks over and looks between the cookies and J’onn* “I was uh- wondering if you wanted to eat these with me.”

And that’s how J’onn spent the rest of the afternoon eating cookies with Marvel. J’onn had at first thought Marvel was quiet because he was something humans called awkward. But no, every now and then, when J’onn forgot that humans preferred to keep their thoughts private, he’d hear how happy Marvel was that he accepted. He’d also heard a couple other voices which was slightly concerning. He didn’t know if that was normal for humans or not.

Then, the next was Batman. Bruce honestly didn’t even know how they had started talking about this. All he knows is that they were talking about the team’s performance in the field, then that somehow transitioned into talking about superheroes in general, which then somehow led to fictional superheroes, which led to now:

Marvel: “Oh, you like Gray Ghost?”

Batman: “I was… a fan of him when I was a child.” *doesn’t know why he’s telling Marvel this*

Marvel: “Cool! Did you see the movies?”

From there on was a forty minute yapping session about Gray Ghost, his lore, the movies, the comics, the action figures, and so on.

Marvel: “I even had his comics as a kid too.”

Batman: “Really? Reprints or originals?”

Marvel: “I wanna say originals? What do you mean by reprints though?”

Batman: “Reprinting is when they take a comic, and remake it to look a little better, such as brighter colors or slightly tweaked dialogue, so they can sell it again.”

Marvel: “Oh. Then I’d say I probably have originals then.”

Batman: “Interesting. Those are collectors items now. They go for thousands.”

Marvel; “Really?!” *eyes nearly bug out of his skull* “Huh. I had no idea. Which ones did you have?”

Batman: “Mostly reprints. But I do have a couple originals on display.”

So yeah. The two were geeking out and stuff. Bruce honestly has literally no one to talk about this with so he’ll admit he was a little (a lot) happy.

We can’t forget the other JL heroes though.

Flash: “Like, he is so nice, and for what?”

GL: “I know right he let me ramble for like 45 minutes about planes! He was asking questions too!”

Supes: “And he’s always willing to help with anything. I didn’t even get to finish asking if he could cover my monitor shifts before he said yes.” *sounds slightly guiltily (he still feels bad for asking)*

In conclusion, Billy really wants to be friends with these guys, and his methods are definitely working.

[sooniebby]

ఌ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

꧁ 𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙪 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂

w.c. › 3.8k

Plot › you end up winning a call to a camboy/sex worker, you watch a lot!! Though it’s a bit embarrassing learning you’re one of the few men in his usual audience. Based off this.

Warnings › gojo a bit cocky sometimes—this takes place in a normal world. Reader is 19, gojo is 25. Some… straight stuff mentioned cuz gojo fucks a girl during his streams, bi gojo agenda!!

Kinks › praise, size kink, (attempts at) dirty talk…

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

: ̗̀➛

𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜

𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝

𝗦𝗶𝘅𝗲𝘆𝗲!

↳ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇ

: ̗̀➛

No way. You just gasped in your coffee shop, literally as your coworker was calling for you to serve a cake to someone.

You were never a lucky person. Most and every thing you ever entered in a prize to win something, being money or an item, you never won. Never, not once. You had assumed you just was an unlucky guy in those type of things.

So when you applied for the giveaway for the chat, you did it just cause.

And you won!

You fucking won.

“(Name) if you don’t hurry up and serve this poor lady her cake!” Your coworker, Nobara screamed.

You rushed out with the cake and quickly gave the girl it, ignoring the glare she gave you for being so rushed. That didn’t matter! You had to tell Nobara. You practically sprinted to her and dragged her to the employee lounge.

“What is your problem?” She asked, pulling her arm away from your tight grip. “It’s like you were trying to rip my arm off…”

“Look, look!” You shoved your phone in her face, earning a tight glare as she snatched it out of your hands. Her eyes glanced over the screen as she mumbled to herself, reading the message. It took about thirty seconds before she seemed to understand what the fuck she was reading.

“Seriously? You got a free call with your favorite pornstar?” She placed your phone on the countertop and shuffled over to the fridge.

“You don’t understand! I hardly ever win giveaways!”

Nobara glanced back at you. “Okay, same here. Are you alright, (Name)? Are the toys not enough?” She asked with a fake sense of pity.

You glared at her. “The toys are just fine!”

“Sure, sure. Well, what do you get from the win?”

“Uh, a free thirty minute private chat.”

“She’s also a camgirl?”

“No… it’s a camboy.”

Nobara blinked. “Oh. So it’s a gay camboy.”

“Also.. no… he’s only fucked women on the videos he posted on Twitter..”

Nobara sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Let’s hope he’s not going to be upset a dude just won his giveaway.”

You panicked slightly, “wait, you think he’ll be upset?”

“Maybe not. But if I were you, I’d make sure to not show my face on camera or speak on the mic.” She said, patting you on the back before leaving the lounge.

Any sort of happiness basically dwindled. She was right. You didn’t know this guy and while realistically, he can’t do anything to hurt you… He could end up getting angry and disgusted you won his call when the majority of his fan base has always been women.

Reaching over, you grabbed your phone and looked at the email, wondering if it’d be worth it. Just as you were about to email back that you couldn’t do it—you got a text message on your Twitter.

𝙎𝙞𝙭𝙚𝙮𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚 :

↳ Did you get the email?

You fainted.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“You boys are so overdramatic.”

You can hear Nobara judging you. You feel the soft winds of someone fanning you, your head resting gently on their legs. With hesitance, you open your eyes, the harsh fluorescent lights blinding you.

Oh, it’s just Inumaki and Megumi.

Inumaki was the one holding your head on his lap while Megumi lazily fanned you with a makeshift paper fan. Megumi rolled his eyes once he noticed you were awake, moving to get up from the floor.

“Good?” Megumi asked, holding his hand out as he helped you get up.

‘We found you on the floor,’ Inumaki signed, getting up as well. ‘What happened?’

You pursed your lips, unsure if you wanted to tell them that you got shocked that a pornstar you’ve been following for over a year now messaged you. Nobara was heard stifling with laughter in the corner.

You quickly, and messily, signed that you were fine back to Inumaki. “Uh, just felt lightheaded. Y’know how the AC isn’t working well anymore.”

“Like those toys.” Nobara suddenly said.

‘Toys?’ Inumaki signed.

“You know what I mean, that emo boy of yours must use them too,” she said, ignoring the sudden blush on Inumkai’s face. Megumi groaned and moved to get his apron to begin his shift.

“Shut it, Nobara.” You whispered, glaring at her. She simply shrugged, smirking gleefully at the embarrassment she was bringing to you. You slipped out of your apron and placed it back, grabbing your bag as you began to clock out.

Inumaki and Megumi usually took over once you and Nobara were finished.

As you and Nobara left the cafe, she grinned mischievously at you. You looked straight ahead, not wanting to entertain her teasing.

“So, it couldn’t have been the email that you made you pass out like that. What was it?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullcrap!”

With a swiftness, your phone in your back pocket was gone. She easily dodged you as she began checking your phone, trying to see what had caused your fainting spell. Once she checked your notifications, she barked out a laugh.

“Oh he practically wants you! ‘Did you get the email?’ So desperate already,” she snickered, beginning to type something on your phone.

“Nobara?!”

After hitting send, she pushed your phone to your face, showing what she had just sent him.

𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙚𝙗𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙚

↳ yes!!! <333

↳ Sorry, I was just so shocked I won!!!

What time are you thinking about?

“Mooniebunnie? What type of username…”

“I made it when I was like fourteen! Don’t judge.”

“Jeez, you’ve been on Twitter that long?”

“Nobara!!”

“Oh he responded.”

“Hah?!”

𝙎𝙞𝙭𝙚𝙮𝙚

↳ took you long enough.

↳ Saturday, 9 pm. I’ll only wait 5 minutes

↳ after the 30 minutes, you’re paying.

“Dick. The fucks his problem?”

“What’d he say?”

“You’d think he’s the one taking the dick up his ass.”

“Nobara..!”

“What? You can’t tell me this doesn’t come across as rude?”

She began typing for you again.

𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙚𝙗𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙚

↳ just don’t disappoint me, 4 inch

↳ kisses <3

“Nobara?! What the hell?!”

“Hey, he started it. Anyway, your date is in two days. Good thing you don’t have a roommate anymore.”

You glared at her as she handed you back your phone. He didn’t seem to text back after that—only having a note that he certainly did read Nobara’s text. But to him, it was your text.

Gosh, you really didn’t want him to hate you.

But Nobara was right, he did seem a bit rude over text. Maybe he just texts a bit harsh but in person is nice.

Though it honestly felt you were creating excuses in your head at this point.

After splitting ways, you made it home to your small apartment. It was comfortable enough so you didn’t complain. Especially since it was in a good area. Nobara and her roommate, Maki, weren’t so lucky in the area they lived in.

Though it seemed like the burglaries that were happening there had finally slowed down.

Decorated in second hand items and anything you stole from your ex boyfriend and mother, your apartment was homey enough. The good thing was that you got an amazing view of the sunset in your room every afternoon.

The kitchen, dining, and living room was essentially just one full room. You had a foldable table to bring out whenever you ate dinner. Your tv was taken from your ex boyfriend, which was why it was so brand new compared to everything else.

You only have two other rooms. The master bedroom with an attached bathroom, and a small, small bedroom. You practically just made it an extra closet space because it was just too cramped to be in there for long period of times.

Especially with the fact it only had a small tiny square window all the way close to the ceiling.

It was after 8 p.m. when you plopped down onto your bed, finishing your daily home tasks. Washing the dishes, warming up dinner, watching a BL drama while crying in loneliness, and now—masturbation time.

You scrolled your phone, wondering if you should wank it out to some random twitter videos or go to the cam website.

Just as you were about to pull up your list of comfort gay videos, a notification rang on your phone.

𝙎𝙞𝙭𝙚𝙮𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 ➤ ❝a creamy fill❞

Your fingers moved lightning speed. A bit embarrassing, really. Slipping off your boxers, you reached over and grabbed your lube, squirting a good amount on your fingers.

Despite him constantly fucking girls—you always watched. Something about him was captivating, even though you never saw his face. The girls face was almost always shown. But like always, the comments are filled with girls saying they love him.

The video started out with the girl in his lap, withering as his fingers spread her pussy open, his other hand resting comfortably on her throat. The only sliver of emotion you could see from him, was the small angle of his lips in frame.

Like always, he was smirking.

You never really enjoyed the beginning of his videos, since it focused heavily on getting the girl to cum from oral sex. Which was good for the girls—but not for you.

So, you usually focused on getting yourself ready for your dildo.

It was one you bought on a whim. But you had never meant for it to be so large, a length of seven, more so eight, inches. You would’ve thrown the thing out if it wasn’t the only dildo you had.

And there was no way you were going to go back to that sex store and get a new one.

You tuned them out for a few minutes, focusing on stretching yourself. It was always tedious, wishing it was someone else doing it for you. Just as you felt ready enough for your dildo, you finally glanced back at your phone.

The girl was now screaming, in pleasure, as he slammed his hips against her ass. It harsh and unforgiving—leaving the girl no chance to stay still. They were in a doggy style position, her face right up to the camera as she mewled and cried.

His grip was on her waist, pulling her back whenever she tried to pull away a bit in a way to slow it down.

“That’s a good girl.”

Boner gone.

You groaned. You loved hearing his voice, he sounded hot. But you hated it whenever he used that fucking word. Any type of “girl” or even more feminine terms always made you lose your boner.

There was nothing else you could really do at that point.

That’s why you mainly watched his solo streams.

With a huff, you placed your dildo back in its drawer and turned off your phone just as the girl reached her climax.

This guy was obviously straight…

You were really wondering if it’d be worth it.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“Ready for your big day, (Name)?”

‘What big day?’

You quickly glared at Nobara, hoping she wouldn’t tell Inumaki anything. Inumaki looked a bit confused—mostly in why you were so angry.

Isn’t today supposed to be special?

“Oh, nothing. It’s just… Saturday, who doesn’t love a Saturday?”

Inumaki raised an eyebrow. ‘It’s a normal Saturday.’

“Mhm, not for our (L.Name) (Name) here.” She winked, obviously enjoying the flushed look on your face.

The entire shift was spent with Nobara making innuendos and Inumaki looking confused by the minute. It wasn’t until your shift was over, and Megumi and Itadori came, that Nobara seemed to just blurt it out to Inumaki.

“He won a call with his favorite pornstar!”

‘You have a favorite pornstar..?’

“Nobara!” You screamed, slapping your hand against her lips as she stared at you in triumph.

Looking back at Inumaki who didn’t seem to be judging you, just a bit perplexed. Which isn’t shocking. He has a fucking boyfriend—you doubted he needed to watch pornstars religiously to get his socks off.

You shrieked as Nobara licked your hand, forcing you to pull away and quickly wipe them off on your pants.

“Yeah! That’s what I said! Who has a favorite pornstar?!”

“Shut it!!”

Inumaki gave you a shrug, ‘no need to be embarrassed. We all have weird habits.’

Somehow that felt less comforting.

You signed back a thanks to Inumaki before turning your anger to Nobara. She willfully began whistling as she walked down the street, not paying you any mind.

In all honesty, you just hoped the call wouldn’t end up with you in tears.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

𝙎𝙞𝙭𝙚𝙮𝙚

↳ here’s the link.

↳ join in twenty minutes

Dick.

Nobara was right. With a huff, you set your busted laptop on the bed in front of you. It was a miracle this laptop could even come to life. As you were deep in thought, wondering if you were feeling brave enough to really join, you heard the sound of a ping.

It took a moment, but then you accepted the link, joining a private call with Sixeye.

It was his usual set up for his live streams. The sight of a wall decorated with bookshelves. You always just assumed it was an office room he had. He was dressed in a compression shirt and grey sweatpants.

Huh, he usually dressed nice for his cams because his fan girls loved seeing him in suits.

Something something daddy issues.

Guess you weren’t special enough for that.

“Guess you aren’t putting on your camera?”

You quickly typed a simple no. No way in hell were you showing this guy your face—no matter how many times you had cummed to his videos. A simple chuckle was heard. His camera was pointed solely at his chest and bottom half, his face no where in sight.

Which was natural, the most he ever showed was his lips.

Girls just went wild for a cool smirk or something.

“No requests? Usually you girls are quick to give me a whole script.” His laugh filled the room.

↳ Just act natural

You type, hoping that was enough to make him get straight into it. He was quiet for a moment, as if he was reading your text. It seemed he took your words to heart as he pulled down his sweatpants and his cock plopped out, resting against his stomach.

“Alright, just want a quick fap then.”

He reached down and rubbed his tip, teasing the slit as he slowly began jacking himself off. His cock was large, maybe around seven inches? It was similar to your dildo. His hands were big too. Gosh, everything about him was big.

He was definitely the one who helped you figure out your size kink.

The only sound by now was his soft grunts and his hand jerking off his cock. You slipped off your boxers and easily slipped in three fingers inside of yourself, having stretched it out a bit earlier. Now, you were just trying to get yourself excited.

You reached down to your laptop, moving it a bit further so you could get comfortable on the bed with more leg room. Your fingers rubbed against your prostate, teasing it just the way you wanted.

Your moans were always on the more high pitched side, almost sounding similar to a girl when you reached your orgasm. So it was something you were a bit self conscious of. But being alone in your own home, you didn’t hold back.

Rubbing against your prostate, your toes curled as you whimpered and bucked into your own hand. You tried to push back any feeling of disappointment that it wasn’t someone else making you feel this way.

“Changed your…mind, baby?”

“Ngh..?”

You opened your eyes and glanced back down at your laptop.

Oh god.

Your fucking mic was on!!!!

You screamed out, quickly clasping your mouth shut as you stared at the screen in horror. He heard you. He heard every little gasp and whimper you had made. How long had he heard you?

Why didn’t he fucking say anything?

“Screamer, huh? Noted.”

He teased. Even without seeing his face, you knew he was smirking.

“You….why didn’t you tell me?” You muttered, glaring at the screen.

But he didn’t answer. He seemed quiet for a moment. You watched as his hand stuttered on his cock. What? Did your voice sound that terrible?

“Speak.”

“Wha..?” You whispered, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Speak now. Loud and clear.”

You hated how authoritative he sounded. It felt like you couldn’t just no respond to his command.

“Uhm… why didn’t you tell me…?” You spoke louder, allowing your mic to pick up your voice this time. You thought maybe he just didn’t hear you.

“Shit. You’re a guy?”

With a brave face, you huffed. “Judging me?”

“No. Fucking finally.”

You felt yourself blush. He was… excited? He began stroking his cock again but this time, with more vulgarity. It was like he was actually turned on by you. You felt your own cock twitch.

Someone… interested… in you?

You grabbed your dildo that rested beside you on the bed, rubbing it against your hole. Any sort of self consciousness you felt with your moaning was thrown out the window as you didn’t hold anything back. Fuck it if you regretted it later.

Right now, you’re going to enjoy it.

As your dildo began stretching you full, you glanced at the button that would turn your camera on. This was a one time thing…

He’d never see you again…

Fuck it.

“Well aren’t you adorable..? Fuck, how big is it?”

“Seven… inches.” You whispered, feeling embarrassed about showing yourself. Your sweating body, flushed face, watery eyes, and your cock leaking on your tummy. You were glad you didn’t see his face…

So you didn’t have to know if he actually found you cute.

“Always the cute ones.” His laugh sounded strained, a soft huff following it as he continued teasing his tip. “Like it big, huh? Stretching you until you can’t take it anymore.”

“Didn’t.. mean to… get it so big.” You moaned, slowly teasing the dildo inside. Your camera was angled right between your legs, showing him the entire picture of the dildo slowly inching inside your puckered hole.

You arched your back, gasping once it finally reached its hilt, stuffing you full.

“Keep looking at the camera.”

You hadn’t even noticed you couldn’t be seen anymore. Moving around a bit, your face finally showed back on the camera. And you got a good sight of just how fucked out you looked just from a damn dildo.

“Good boy.” He whispered. “Y’know… I always put on a show for you guys—it’s time you do the same, hm?”

If you weren’t already itching for an orgasm, you would’ve ended the call immediately out of embarrassment. But you couldn’t back down now.

So, you moved to rest against your headboard, bringing in your laptop to get a good view of your face and ass. Tightening your grip on your dildo, you began thrusting it in and out, keeping a fast pace.

Your hips moved against the pace, your thoughts filled with the desire of a real cock fucking you. His hand gripping your waist, bouncing you on his cock like a toy just for his pleasure. But you had to deal with this pisspoor dildo.

The sound of squelching, your moans, and his grunts filled the room. You were so close, wishing to moan his name but no way in hell were you going to moan his fucking username.

“W…wan..na…moan..name..” you barely sputtered out, your moans betraying you whenever you tried to speak a full sentence. A cry left your throat when the dildo brushed against your prostate. You quickly made sure to continuously hit that area, your moans reaching higher in pitch.

Your orgasm was close.

You suddenly heard him grunt loudly. When you glanced at the camera, you saw his grip tighten as cum spurted onto his shirt. Did your moans…?

Not wanting to feel any misplaced confidence, you pushed the thought away. No way did your moans make him cum.

The sound of shuffling caught your attention as you saw him reach for his camera.

And then—

The camera was on his fucking face.

His lips turned up into a smirk, his eyes staring straight into yours. Blue eyes and white hair. It looked soft even though the camera.

You came.

You fucking came.

Man, maybe those girls were right about smirks being sexy…

Your toes curled as you arched your back, gripping the bedsheets as your cock came all over your stomach. The only sound left was the sound of your heavy breathing as you tried to calm down—having never orgasmed that intensely before.

“Did you… cum from seeing my face?”

He sounded so fucking cocky.

“Bye!” You yelled, slamming your laptop shut.

You totally did.

You sat in your room for about two minutes before screaming in embarrassment. No way in hell could you ever watch his streams again!!! You came!! You came from seeing his face!!

God….

That was embarrassing…

At least you would never interact with him again.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“No way! From his face?!”

Nobara screamed laughing, her cackling echoing in the empty cafe. You could only focus on putting the cakes on display, trying to ignore the embarrassment in your heart.

“Gosh! Megumi! You heard about—”

“Don’t bring me into this.” He answered bluntly.

It had been a few days now since the… incident. You had blocked Sixeye’s account and haven’t watched any of his streams or videos ever since. It was just too embarrassing to watch them without thinking on how you came just from seeing his face.

But you kept thinking, why did he show his face?

It wasn’t like you were anything special. As the three of you continued getting the cafe ready for opening, Nobara continued making fun of you at any given chance. Megumi seemed to be in his own mind.

You had went to the back to grab some cups for the lattes and when you came back to the front, Megumi and Nobara were already speaking to some guy. He looked pretty tall, practically towering over Nobara.

But his back was facing you so you didn’t know who it was.

“Why are you even here?” Megumi asked, glaring at the stranger.

“Oh! Aren’t you Megumi’s friend?” Nobara questioned.

“Don’t insult me like that,” Megumi rolled his eyes before grunting as the stranger wrapped his arm around his neck.

“Aah~ Megumi~~ don’t be like that! I heard the cakes here were good. Can’t I try them??? Hm~?” The stranger teased, laughing slightly.

“Get off, you’re not getting a discount.”

“I didn’t say I wanted one… but now that you mentioned it~”

Nobara laughed, “no wonder you called him a blue eyed freak! He’s so annoying.”

“Megumi?!”

Megumi shrugged. “I’ve called you worse in my head. (Name), take Gojo’s order before I kick him out.”

Gojo huffed before finally turning over to face you. Your eyes widened once you finally got a good look of him. It…

Sixeye?!

The cup you were holding were slipping out of your hands as Gojo tilted his head, eyes narrowing at your face before widening in recognition. A grin appeared on his lips.

“Today’s my lucky day, huh?”

It definitely wasn’t yours.

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

Oop? Yall want a part 2? It’s so hard writing phone/facetime sex… I praise those who write it constantly lmao

Tag list: @chill-guy-but-cooler @tomoeroi @remdayz @tehyunnie @flurrina @rhetorical-conscience @kiiyoooo @iwishtobeacrow @love-kha1 @star-3214 @smellwell @ofclyde @the-ultimate-librarian @teyvat-writer

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, welcome to Anna writes a framing meta for the first time in who knows how long. This got long as hell, so strap in.

Okay, first up, first buddie scene of the episode, the locker room, at no point you can see both of their faces clearly at the same time, either one of the faces is out of focus or they have their backs to the camera (tiny images for me to stay within the image limit, but you should be able to zoom in).

And if we get a wide shot, they have something separating them in the frame.

The not allowing the camera to focus on both of them really works to highlight how they're not seeing eye to eye, and helps the scene feel awkward because they are obscuring their real feelings, Buck doesn't Eddie to move and Eddie doesn't want to move, but they are both trying to act excited about it. And the physical divider between them highlights the way the move is getting between them. Literally. The show did this the other 2 times they fought. If something really is getting between them, we end up getting a physical display of it.

And before you get all "oh but the show is not that deep" on me.

Okay, moving on, something very interesting that I've seem a bunch of people point out is this shot specifically, they are very close, some would say within kissing distance *wink*, but the glass is between them, but the lafd logo is only obscuring Buck's face.

Since the logo is backward when we look at if from inside the locker room, it almost makes it seem like the only thing stopping them is Eddie not being in LA with Buck.

At the house showing, there's always a few steps between them, at least, but the way Buck starts the sabotage by peaking over Eddie's shoulder, to fully stepping in front of him to the point that the camera stops focusing on Eddie is the fun part here for me.

Because that's when Buck fully takes over, the meth lab story is the most intentional part of the sabotage, at least in my opinion, and the way Buck takes over when he sees someone he thought would actually go for it, the little "man, I thought we had her" before Eddie calls him out gives that impression, it really shows the way Buck escalates inside his own feelings. It also highlights the way the scene is in Buck's pov. It's pretty obvious when we consider the way we see Buck talking to the potential renters alone, but we only hear Eddie talking to them alone.

Not really relevant here but love that Buck is the only person we ever saw in that back door. New angle of the Diaz kitchen too.

Love that painting of waves behind Buck, both for the symbolism of the way this is about to crash into him and his relationship with water and life-changing stuff, the tsunami, the well, the lightning, y'all know what I mean.

Okay, before I move on I need to take a detour to fully explain why these next two scenes had me going fucking insane.

Oliver is a pretty big guy, right? He's the tallest main, he is built like a fridge, he is a person who will usually be the biggest person in the room. That ends up giving Buck the power. So when Buck is emotionally distressed, they usually exaggerate that. Like when he is yelling at his parents and everyone is sitting down but him, or when he's standing up when telling everyone about Daniel, when he's sitting on the stairs talking to Maddie about being the one who's always left behind, or how they gave Buck the literal high ground when he's waiting for Taylor so they can breakup.

There's also the way that Buck likes to sit on top of stuff that will make him taller, the counter, the top the firetruck.

They play with that a lot, Maddie conversations when she's actually getting through to him tend to have both of them sitting down, since Jennifer is that much smaller, or talks with Bobby have them both standing up since Peter is the closest in height to Oliver.

But since Oliver is really tall, Buck doesn't look up at people a lot. It usually happens with love interests in emotionally heavy scenes that, like the breakup with Ali, when he tells Taylor he cheated, the breakup with Tommy. There are a few scenes with Bobby and Maddie.

And then there's Eddie.

The gym scene and the 204 scene, well, 201 Buck is about to get up and puff out his chest, try to look as big as possible, so it doesn't count in this, and 204 is being there for Eddie, but the rest he's looking for guidance. Something I used to talk about a lot is that Buck's admiration of Eddie clouds his judgment, it forces him to this space of following Eddie's lead, it put him in a position where he was literally looking up at Eddie when he needs reassurance or validation. Which is not really good for healthy relationship, it would make Buck bend to what Eddie thinks it's best and that's not good in the long run in a romantic relationship. The conversations they had about Buck's feelings, they were on different levels in the frame, and Eddie was always higher, and Buck is putting Eddie in a space where he needs reassure him. Funny enough, if they are talking about Eddie's feelings, they are usually both sitting down, so they are equalized there.

They broke that pattern with the coming out scene. In fact they broke it so hard they have Eddie looking up at Buck while wanting Buck to reassure him that hes not being unreasonable and he can hide in the loft.

But they are both sitting down for the part of the conversation that is about Buck, and Buck needs reassurance from Eddie there, but he is not looking at Eddie for guidance, he’s looking at Eddie for acceptance. And he would only get that if they were on the same level. So monumental moment. (read more about my freakout about the coming out scene here)

Now that we are all caught up, the station scenes, they're unleveled again.

In fact, Buck is so low he's on the fucking floor. But he's not looking up because he needs guidance or reassurance or because he thinks Eddie has the answers, he's on the floor because he's about to throw a low blow. He's being unfair and he knows it.

It is about Eddie having power over Buck, but it is also about how at that moment Buck doesn't want to accept that, he wants to land a punch that's gonna put Eddie on the floor with him.

He doesn't start the first scene on the floor, but he is on the floor once he tells everyone about the move.

And he is sitting on the floor when he says the "I don't need you either" so he is physically as low as he can be as he goes for the hit that's gonna hurt Eddie as much as he's hurting.

That had me SALIVATING. Buddie will never work if they keep assuming they can read each other's minds, it is why I was so adamant about the need of another divorce era, why that's the core of half the fics I write, they need to talk when they are hurting. And this was messy, they're being intentionally hurtfull but it all ends up equalizing in the biggest show of how they have the it's you and me vs the problem not you vs me down to an art if you just let them talk.

But moving on, at the end, when he realizes that he is succeeding in hurting Eddie but it's not gonna make feel any better, they're on the same level.

Side note, they tend to be on the same level when they are talking about them. (Yes, I'm counting the cemetery scene, this convoluted breakup that went nowhere is about their relationship, I don't care).

And that obviously leads up to the final buddie scene of the episode.

Just to get this out of the way, they are positioned the same way they were when Eddie tells Buck to leave the showing, but from the other side, because now we're on Eddie's pov.

The giveaways from that for me is the fact that the house is back to the usual warm lighting, and we are learning the information with Eddie, in contrast to the cold lighting and the way we learn the information with Buck in 808.

So our running joke to put a light on Buck if we ever got a scene from Eddie's pov? Yeah.

The 2 lamps almost give Buck a glowy aura.

Anyway, the thing with this scene is the way there's a lot of space between them at first, at some point Eddie is even holding onto the door and Buck even starts adding more space, the couch between them is a nice touch too.

And Eddie keeps his distance while they're fighting, up until when the crew arives and he steps back closer to Buck. It's not really necessary, they could walk around him the same way Buck did to get in the house.

Through the whole thing, Buck is in the same place he in the center of the room.

And then Eddie is the one to close the space, because even when Eddie is going in for the hug, Buck is not moving. Eddie has full control of the movement with them even though he was the only one who didn't have the full information.

And it's fun because there are 2 other scenes like that, where one of them is stationary and the other is doing all the movement, but while here Buck is letting Eddie make the choice to come to him, the other one Buck is forcing Eddie to let him in. Coincidentally (read absolutely intentionally), it's the other times they are clearing the air, 306 talk at the station and 309 kitchen talk. In both scenes Eddie is in a spot and Buck is doing all the moving closer.

And I think that indicates a lot of the way their relationship grew since s3, it's almost exemplifying the way Buck knows he doesn't need to force his way in anymore, that that door is already open and he can let Eddie come to him.

Well, I guess he already did in season 5 breaking the door down, but like Eddie says, Buck doesn't to break the door down, he wants to let Eddie open it. If he lets Eddie know he's there, Eddie will make the choice to let him in. And it is what happened. Eddie was upset because he thought he couldn't count on Buck and not being able to count on him always get Eddie off balance, it's why Buck fully disarms him telling him about renting the house, he was ready for anger but Buck just reminded him that he's got him. And I think that's beautiful.

This adds nothing to nothing but I need to say that "if you need to be pissed off at me to make it easier for you then be pissed off" most romantic thing I've ever seen. "Be mad at me if you have to, but stop faking it", you don't need to pretend with me on crack, had me screaming crying throwing up.

Some random things to point out, with the 2 fist bumps and the hug this is the episode they touched intentionally and without of them being mortal danger the most.

Also, the last scene has the same color pallete of the coming out scene.

In the still, the blue of Buck's jacket looked a bit too light, but when I put them side by side, that's Buck's blue. But the fit is a bit too big and the black shirt and the black color offset that. There's also the way that in 809 both of them are in the warm background. The yellow elements aren't that intense, but Buck mismatching is making me 👀 because while Buck is pulling the ultimate grand gesture as a clinger can do by doing that thing that will allow Eddie to leave him, I don't think living in that house alone is going to be easy for Buck. And Eddie stays in the warm background with a black shirt. So yeah, that's fun. Buck is in his color but in the wrong fit, Eddie is just no color at all yet but it keeps looming behind him.

This is long as fuck already and I just hit the image limit so I will shut up now, but I'll be back at some point about colors. As always, if you read this I love you.

[mintyys-blog]

Hello!!♥️ I really enjoyed all other invincible stories and writing for each mark i find em such a spot on. I was wondering if it would alright to request invincible (any mark) with reader having powers like Danny phantom? :0 i thought it could be cool idea in invincible world to have someoke with supernatural powers as in like ghost powers and stuff in way and would be useful when the power of possessing bodies comes in play and be helpful too? lol imagine reader spooking mark once a while ptff

MY BOO | mark grayson x danny phantom! reader

INVINCIBLE MASTERLIST | WARNINGS:

You’ve made it your life’s mission to scare the absolute hell out of Mark at least once a week. Whether it’s floating above his bed while he’s mid-sleep, your glowing eyes flickering in the dark like some demonic entity, or phasing through the wall with a blood-curdling whisper, it never gets old. The way he jumps, fists ready, eyes wide—it’s a masterpiece every time. And while he plays it off like he’s “used to it,” the haunted look in his eyes says otherwise.

There was one particular morning you phased through the ceiling right as he stepped out of the shower. He screamed and almost flew through the damn wall. “You can’t keep doing that!” he shouted, wrapping a towel around himself while still trying to act tough. You just floated upside down, smirking, saying, “If you didn’t look so cute when scared, maybe I’d stop.” He blushed. You called that a win.

When it comes to fighting, though, you’re a dream teammate. Mark’s all power and speed, but your ghost powers make you unpredictable. He flies in with brute force, and you phase through the ground, possess a villain’s body, and start using them as a puppet. Once, during a mission, you made a mercenary punch himself in the face so hard he knocked out cold. Mark stared, jaw slack. “Did you just—” “Yeah. Possessed him. Also made him twerk a little before I left. Hope that’s okay.” He couldn’t stop laughing… until you told him the next person you planned on possessing was him.

He didn’t take it seriously until one day you actually did. It was a light possession, nothing permanent—just enough to feel what flying felt like from his perspective. He freaked out the moment he felt his body moving without input. “Babe, this is NOT funny—oh my god why am I doing flips?! STOP DOING FLIPS.” You eventually let go and floated beside him, smug as hell. “So this is what it’s like to have pecs. Wild.”

You have a habit of turning invisible when you’re mad. Mid-argument, Mark would blink and realize you’ve vanished into thin air. “Seriously? You ghosted me? LITERALLY?” he’d yell, arms thrown up. You’d pop back in through the floor, say something dramatic like, “I rise from the dead… only to hear more of your bullshit,” and disappear again. It was infuriatingly effective.

Late nights were the worst for him. You’d wait until he’s half-asleep, then whisper his name like some haunted movie villain. “Maaaark…” and he’d jolt awake, looking around like he’s in a horror film. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack,” he mumbles, face buried in the pillow. “That’s the point,” you reply sweetly, curling up beside him.

Mark actually loves the deep parts of your powers too—the way you can feel shifts in the spiritual world, how your ghost sense picks up emotions, memories, and even lost souls. It’s not just creepy—it’s beautiful. You bring perspective to his strength, make him think about more than just punching the bad guy. He loves listening to you talk about the strange energy of being stuck between two worlds—living, but not completely. You once told him, “You were born to destroy planets. I was born already half-dead. We both carry things we didn’t ask for.” He kissed you so hard that night, holding you like you were the most real thing in the universe.

People definitely fear you more than him sometimes. You don’t just knock people out—you break them down psychologically, force them to confront guilt, possess their bodies and make them apologize to their teammates before walking off in your glowing form. Mark’s tried to act like the more intimidating one, but even he knows—when villains see you, they run.

He has a collection of ghost puns for you. “Boo-thang,” “my spooky girl,” “hauntie,” and even “Casper, but hot.” You pretend to hate it, but you secretly live for it.

And when he talks about the future, about maybe having a home or kids one day, he always says, “Would they be half-Viltrumite, half-ghost? Because that sounds terrifying, and I’m into it.” You grin, saying, “They’d be invisible until they want juice. Then they’d phase through the fridge.” Mark laughs but lowkey hopes it really happens.

You’re his chaos. His phantom menace. His mischievous, glowy-eyed, haunting little piece of home. And even if he never quite gets used to you floating through walls or making the TV talk back to him, he knows one thing for certain—life has never been more fun, more weird, or more perfect.

[st7rnioioss]

✧ ﾟ୨ৎ* the elevator game

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: matt sturniolo x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: matt calms you down while you're both filming with sam and colby at a haunted hotel

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: fluff, kissing, swearing, mentions of ghost and paranormal stuff like that

a/n: hi lovelies💕 CAN WE TALK AB MATT IN SAM AND COLBYS NEW VIDEO, HELLO?? took inspo from that to write this😇😇. anyways, it’s currently 1:58am and i am BORED. still sick as fuck😪 ILY ALL SM🤍

───────── 🐇

“I’ll go with Matt,” you say, throwing a hand up.

“Oh, let’s go!” Sam and Colby exclaims in unison, dragging out the o’s, making you smile shyly.

“Okay, now calm down. Let’s go Matt,” you say calmly, pushing Matt inside the elevator.

You and Matt were going to different floors in the hotel, the one before the last, supposedly being the one where a “ghost/spirit lady” should step in and join you guys. Matt was going to do it alone, but you decided to join him.

“Guys please don’t make out on camera,” Nick shrugs, making everyone laugh.

“Yeah yeah, whatever Nick,” Matt rolls his eyes at him, waving bye as the elevator slowly shuts.

“Goodbye everyone! Please remember me if I pass!” you wave with a giggle.

“Say the thing, Matt,” Sam added quickly before the doors shut.

“Please take me to another world. I may regret saying that, but hey. See you guys later!” Matt said as the elevator shut fully, smiling at you. He watched you tap on the button “4”, the first floor you were going to.

“Alright guys, first floor is the 4th one. You nervous?” he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

“Yeah. A bit, this is not like anything I’ve ever done before,” you chuckled nervously. Matt then reached a hand out to hold yours.

“It’ll be fine, I promise you,” he smiled as he turned the camera to show you push “2”, slowly intertwining his fingers with yours.

“Fuck, it scares me that the elevator door chooses a pace to go. Like, sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it’s slow,” he smiled as the door closed from the second floor.

“Yeah me too, it freaks me the fuck out,” you laughed.

“Okay, sixth floor now!” you added, pressing the button in front of you.

As you guys reached the 5th floor where a “lady” was supposed to walk in, Matt felt you tense up a bit. He reached out for you to wrap an arm around your shoulder, hitting the “1” button.

“You’ll be fine, okay? I’m right here,” he whispered for only you to hear, reassuringly rubbing your shoulder. You just shot him a quick smile as you felt the elevator slowly drop.

“Okay so, that thing has not been going off this entire time,” Matt said, pointing the camera to the device on the floor of the elevator.

“I’m literally shaking, this elevator is freaking me out,” you laughed nervously, referring to the loud creaking from the old lift. Matt looked down at you to press a kiss to the top of your head while giggled.

“We’ll be fine, don’t worry,”

The elevator finally reached the first floor where the rest of the group were, Matt dropping his arm from your shoulder to hold your hand instead.

“That’s all!” he smiled, pulling you out of the elevator.

“How was it? Did that thing go off?” Nick asked excitedly. You turned to look Matt for a second, before turning back to the group.

“No, not really. And we didn’t smell any flowers or roses either. But the elevator itself is scary as fuck,” you laughed, everyone joining you.

“Alright, we’re heading to the stinky room 525, to do the estes method!” Colby declared, turning back to face the elevator. He took the camera from Matt, who then handed it to Sam.

“You alright?” Matt whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek, following the others into the elevator.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks,” you smiled at him, pulling his hand up to kiss it. He giggled in response, Chris and Nick rolling their eyes at you both.

“I really do not hope you guys just made out in this elevator. On camera, for FIFTEEN minutes straight,” Chris laughed, earning a chuckled from the rest of you.

“Chill out dude, we didn’t. But, oh trust me, I tried to behave, I was holding back,” Matt teased, poking your cheek making you blush like crazy. This made him smile, pressing a gently kiss to your forehead.

“You guys should be glad we aren’t recording,” Nick laughed loudly, talking to Sam and Colby, who were both laughing.

a/n: kinda rushed if you couldn’t tell🤡

[checkeredflagggs]

The Story of Us: Chapter 1

pairing: logan sargeant x famous!fem!singer

summary: logan and you have been keeping a secret from everyone but it might be time for it to come out

a/n: while I do my best on most of my works to be race neutral, this one is very very very self indulgent 🤷🏻‍♀️

a/n2: this is part 1 of 4/5, which will be released when they’re finished and I’m using pretty much everything from Taylor Swift

a/n3: I still don’t understand instagram so - no one but those that follow you can see a private accounts comments (even on a public post). Also I still hate twitter so I’ve replaced it with Bluesky

y/n_fanpage

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 10,293,833 others

y/n_fanpage: y/n_nation has been busy this past week with hints of what’s to come. Obviously midnight has something to do with her announcement! Thoughts?

view all comments

user1: NO. SHUT UP!!!

↳user2: NEW STUFF??? NEW MATERIAL??

↳user1: MOTHER IS BACKKK!!!

↳user2: I forgot that it’s y/n_nation that posts the announcements now 😭😭 I feel like I’ve missed so much stuff

↳user1: girl you better go back and check it out

charles_leclerc: cannot wait! Will definitely be on repeat in the garage

↳carlossainz55: yes!!

↳scuderiaferrari: already making room for it in the playlist!

↳user3: ok but this just makes sense to me!!

↳user4: right? Of course Carlos and Charles are y/n fans!

user5: another banger album on the way!

↳user6: album of the year!!

user7: 🤞🤞 fingers crossed it’s a love album

↳user8: oh my god same?

↳user7: like I love her other stuff so much but her love albums??? Next. Level.

↳user8: right?? Oh imagine being loved by someone who writes literal love songs for you

↳user7: not just love songs tho…Thee love songs!

alex_albon: new race day anthem loading!

↳logansargeant: 😂

↳alex_albon: I can’t be teammates with you if you’re not a y/n fan

↳logansargeant: biggest fan there is

↳alex_albon: well that’s not possible

↳lilymhe: no one is taking that title from us!

↳logansargeant: if you say so…

↳oscarpiastri: 🤣🤣

user9: tour tour tour tour!

↳user10: she’s hasn’t even released the album yet? Like Jesus…

y/n

liked by user, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, alex_albom, logansargeant, and 11,283,012 others

y/n: this is a no judgement zone, right? Right? Meet the newest members of the family — Snowball and Snowflake, Marshmallow, and Croissant!

view all comments

user11: I’m in love?

↳user12: you’re in love? I’m in love!!!

↳user13: they’re so cute!

maxverstappen1: You’re a cat mom too?

↳user14: still not over the thought that vroom vroom guys are in mothers comment section

logansargeant: good looking pups there!

charles_leclerc: it must be the season for new pets!

↳user15: ok but this seems desperate?

↳user16: oh I’m glad I’m not the only one to sense this

↳charles_leclerc: non! It is called shooting your shot!

↳user15: reads like desperation tbh

↳maxverstappen1: ha

↳charles_leclerc: I don’t think I like you anymore

↳user15: I’m not sure who you’re talking too or who should be more offended

↳charles_leclerc: yes

y/n

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, estebanocon and 13,297,934 others

y/n: We lie awake in love and in fear, in turmoil and in tears. We stare at walls and drink until they speak back. We twist in our self-made cages and pray that we aren’t — right this minute — about to make some fateful life-altering mistake.

This is a collection of music written in the middle of the night, a journey through terrors and sweet dreams. The floors we pace and the demons we face. For all of us who have tossed and turned and decided to keep the lanterns lit and go searching — hoping that just maybe, when the clocks strike twelve…we’ll meet ourselves.

Midnights, the story of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life, is yours now. Meet me at midnight

view all comments

user16: what??? Like what??

user17: did she seriously just drop a surprise album on us?????

↳user18: miss ma’am mother i know that the album is called midnight but that does NOt mean you have to drop it at midnight! I have classes tomorrow!

maxverstappen1: vigilante shit is on repeat!

↳redbullracing: we can confirm this ✅

↳charles_leclerc: bejeweled is where it’s at actually

↳scuderiaferrari: excuse us while we grab our rhinestones

↳maxverstappen1: it’s ok to admit you’re wrong.

↳charles_leclerc: I’m glad you’re being truthful!

↳maxverstappen1: 😑😑😑

user19: ok but mastermind??? What kind of groundwork are you laying girl??

↳user20: right??? She’s been writing love songs for years and there’s still nothing about who they’re for

↳user21: for real!!! She’s come out about a lot of her songs — illicit affair about yourbff and back to December being about yoursister — but she’s Never! Said anything about who the love songs are about!

↳user19: I’m convinced she’s in a long term relationship and they’re all about her partner!

↳user20: user53 your help is needed rn!

↳user53: oh god not again

↳user19: when im right im gonna laugh in your face

↳user53: uh huh sure you will

alex_albon: do we have to pick a favorite?? Can’t we just play it on repeat in it’s entirety?

↳lilymhe: we absolutely will be doing that

↳logansargeant: really? The entirety??

↳alex_albon: for someone who tried to say you were her biggest fan, this is disappointing behavior

↳lilymhe: it really is

↳logansargeant: 🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

↳logansargeant: 🤣

oscarpiastri: my sisters have been screaming at me since it dropped

↳logansargeant: oops. Sorry about that man — know how that feels

↳hattiepiastri: we! need! a! signed! copy!

↳oscarpiastri: I thought you were just into kpop?

↳hattiepiastri: mom! nicolepiastri Oscar is being mean!

↳oscarpiastri: low blow.

↳hattiepiastri: 🤨🥺

↳oscarpiastri: …I’ll see what I can do

↳user19: 🧐🧐🧐

landonorris: I don’t know which one to choose as a favorite…

↳oscarpiastri: oh no

↳landonorris: which means all of them are!

↳oscarpiastri: does this mean…

↳carlossainz55: he will be singing the entire album at the top of his lungs, yes

↳danielricciardo: it won’t be good singing but it will be consistent

↳oscarpiastri: no

↳carlossainz55: yes

↳danielricciardo: yup

↳landonorris: go away muppets! Leave me and y/n and her album alone

↳oscarpiastri: 🤣🤣

logansargeant

liked by not_y/n, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 1,294,278 others

logansargeant: always a great feeling being back home — even better with new friends

view all comments

user22: new puppy??? Winter break did Logan good this year!

alex_albon: you didn’t tell me you got a new dog!

↳logansargeant: haha it’s technically not mine but sorry!

↳alex_albon: you got a new dog and didn’t tell me!! Me!!

↳logansargeant: 😂😂

↳lilymhe: he’s pacing right now, he’s in distress

↳logansargeant: sorry not sorry

↳logansargeant: would a visit with him help?

↳alex_albon: it is literally the least you could do

↳logansargeant: 😂 he’ll be at Miami

↳alex_albon: good!

user23: ummm?? Could I take the place of the puppy???

user24: I’m?? Jealous? Of a dog…

↳user25: big mood

↳used24: this is not where I predicted my life would be 10 years ago…

↳user25: no one ever does.

user19: am I gonna be attacked if I say something?

↳user53: potentially

↳user19: do you just have me on notifications??

↳user26: we alert them every time we see you post

↳user26: you scare us

↳user19: just because I’m always right doesn’t mean I’m scary

↳user53: ok let’s take it to dms.

↳user19: buckle up then buddy cause I’ve got it all printed out

↳user26: user53 is a real one 🫡 taking it for team

↳user19: 😡😡😡

↳user53: user19 come on. Explain your newest conspiracy

not_y/n: what a cutie! And he looks so well behaved

↳not_logan: why thank you!

↳not_oscar: gross guys. Keep it to yourselves please and thank you

↳not_y/n: why?? Want me to call you a good boy too??

↳not_logan: absolutely not!

↳not_oscar: eww 🤢 you’re solidly in the sister category and this is not game of thrones

↳not_y/n: 😜

↳not_y/n: speaking of — hotd season 1 binge before Miami?

↳not_logan: yes!

↳not_oscar: yes! — L

↳not_oscar: i guess that it’s a yes from us

y/n

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 16,294,923 others

y/n:

What keeps you up at night?

It’s a momentary glimmer of distraction. The tiniest notion of reminiscent thought that wanders off into wondering, the spark that lights a tinderbox of fixation. And now it is irreversible. The flame has caught. You’re wide awake.

3am is different from midnight — the sky is ever darker and the thoughts even more haunting. Things that would keep you up at one don’t at the other.

Midnights: the 3am edition is yours now

view all comments

user27: why? Would? You? Do? This? To? Me?? I just barely got over midnights?? And now I have to listen to 3am??

oscarpiastri: again? Didn’t we just go through this 2 weeks ago?

↳landonorris: WOOOO!

↳oscarpiastri: oh no 😥

↳logansargeant: you could show some enthusiasm? You’ve definitely said she’s one of your favorite artists before

↳oscarpiastri: she is. Lando’s version of her? Not so much

↳landonorris: so rude!

↳carlossainz55: I think it might be a self defense mechanism

↳danielricciardo: gotta save those eardrums somehow

↳landonorris: 😡😡

danielricciardo: Paris baby!

↳user28: I knew you were a man of taste!

↳yukitsunoda0511: he’s really not. The Great War is superior

↳danielricciardo: you wish

user29: ok but would’ve, could’ve, should’ve??

↳lilymhe: karma is still the superior song

↳alex_albon: bigger than the whole sky? Did you miss that song?

↳lilymhe: we’re breaking up. I can’t be with someone who’s top song isn’t karma

↳user29: sorry but you’re both wrong 🤷🏼‍♂️

user19: Paris???? Are you kidding me!??!? And The Great War?!??

↳user53: I’m gonna need you to take a deep breath

↳user19: I told you!

↳user53: yes you did. And, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I’m starting to believe you

↳user30: who are you and what happened to user53?

↳user53: I don’t know man. I don’t know

↳user53: however user19 might be on to something here…

↳user19: MIGHT?!?

↳user19: just you wait!

y/n_nation

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 19,294,923 others

y/n_nation: pack your backs and get your tickets! Coming to a city near you, the Eras Tour is a journey through y/n’s decade long music career!

Starting in Miami, Opening Night is Monday, May 6…more

view all comments

user30: YES!!!

↳user31: omg omg omg omg!!!!

danielricciardo: already planning on it!

↳maxverstappen1: so lucky that opening day is immediately after the Miami GP!

↳danielricciardo: exactly! It’ll be nice to spend a few extra days in Florida!

↳user19: yes so lucky…

oscarpiastri: on the one hand I think my sisters would kill me if we didn’t go for opening night…on the other hand I don’t know if I can do a live show with Lando…

↳logansargeant: maybe you’ll get lucky and have separate seating?

↳oscarpiastri: one could only hope…

↳landonorris: you frickin muppets

↳hattiepiastri: seriously???

↳oscarpiastri: will work on it

↳hattiepiastri: yes!!

alex_albon: suddenly i feel like the garages will have a lot of extra guests…

↳lilymhe: what do you mean? I always planned on going to Miami!

↳alex_albon: does always mean 20 minutes?

↳carmenmmundt: it does actually!

↳georgerussell63: since when?

↳francisca.cgomes: for about the last 20 minutes!

↳pierregasly: hint received

↳francisca.cgomes: 🤭

user32: ok i need to be at opening night now…

↳user33: right? The chance to see all these drivers in person?

↳user32: AND to see y/n perform live?!? Dream come true

charles_leclerc: I am ready to fight the Ticketmaster

↳alexandrasaintmleux: yay!

↳user34: oh to have Charles leclerc fight Ticketmaster for you…

logansargeant

liked by not_y/n, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 1,214,223 others

logansargeant: last minute dates before the season starts

view all comments

user35: who? What? Where? When?

↳user36: A GIRLFRIEND?!??!!? SINCE WHEN????

alex_albon: first you get a dog and don’t tell me and now you have a whole ass GIRLFRIEND AND DIDNT TELL ME???? Where is the team loyalty?

↳logansargeant: …we’ve been together longer then I’ve been your teammate?

↳user37: what?? HOW LONG?

↳alex_albon: exactly! HOW LONG???

↳logansargeant: just over 10 years now

↳alex_albon: you were a baby?

↳logansargeant: I was nearly 14?

↳alex_albon: a baby!!

oscarpiastri: tell her to answer her texts

↳logansargeant: she said she’s on a strict no phone policy

↳oscarpiastri: I can see her on her phone right now

↳logansargeant: “oh it’s exclusively against Australians who mocked my cooking attempts”

↳oscarpiastri: 😑😑😑

↳oscarpiastri: whatever she made IT WAS NOT BANANA BREAD

↳logansargeant: “but you didn’t have to laugh at me!”

↳alex_albon: the Australian knows???

↳oscarpiastri: there are levels here albon. Gotta get on my level — childhood best friends

jensonbutton: you’ve never mentioned you had a girl, kid

↳logansargeant: ok but to be fair you’ve never asked?

↳jensonbutton: and you’ve never introduced us?

↳logansargeant: she supports from a distance — she also travels a lot for work

↳jensonbutton: kid…

↳alex_albon: DOES ANYONE BUT THE AUSTRALIAN KNOW??

↳oscarpiastri: my family knows

↳alex_albon: Logan…

↳logansargeant:😂

user38: that Florida sun does something amazing for Logan!

↳user39: is it the sun or is it the girl??

↳logansargeant: it’s not the girl

↳logansargeant: it’s my girl

↳user39: I am literally swooning right now good lord

user19: user53! I told you

↳user53: …yeah ok

↳user40: user19 I need the timeline I need the proof I need the receipts

↳user19: I’ve got you!

Bluesky

f1

liked by logansargeant, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 8,923,924 others

tagged: y/n, y/n_nation

f1: it’s time to be fearless! Miss Americana will be performing the National Anthem at the Miami GP the day before the start of her Eras tour!

view all comments

user41: oh my god!!! I get to see her twice???

↳user42: seriously??? I’m so jealous

↳user41: I don’t know which gods blessed me but I managed to get tickets to both!!

↳user42: you know I heard it’s good to sleep with your windows open…

maxverstappen1: y/n the Redbull Garage would gladly welcome you!

↳redbullracing: absolutely! You Belong With Us!

↳user43: …is the redbull admin playing wingman for max?

↳redbullracing: the grind never stops

↳maxverstappen1: thanks admin

↳user43: gotta respect that I guess

landonorris: I think papaya is more your color y/n!

↳user44: I think she might prefer a winner actually

↳user44: you know to match her 3 album of the year’s

↳landonorris: ok i let stand the bullying from my friends and teammates

↳landonorris: but im not gonna stand for it from you

williamsracing: i think we could have The Best Day with you and your fellow American y/n!

↳logansargeant: hey what?

↳alex_albon: that’s it? Gonna need more enthusiasm from the guy who “claims” he’s the biggest fan

↳lilymhe: yeah! Show off your American spirit

↳logansargeant: caw caw 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅

↳y/n: stunning show

↳lilymhe: 🤯🤯

user49: did…did she just…

↳user50: respond to Logan Sargeant? Yeah

↳user49: ohmygod

scuderiaferrari: I do believe Red is your color y/n

↳charles_leclerc: we look best in Red here!

↳carlossainz55: and we have ice cream!

↳charles_leclerc: yes! Custom ice cream just for you

↳alexandrasaintmleux: and we’ll even have a puppy if you’d like a puppy play date!

↳charles_leclerc: yes leo is very well behaved

↳user51: the desperation stinks all up in here

user52: i am living for all the garages trying to get y/n to join them for the weekend

↳user54: my favorite part is the desperation coming from the drivers

↳user54: silly vroom vroom guys and gals thinking they could shoot their shot with y/n… liked by not_y/n

Private Messages

y/n_gossip

Be the first to like

y/n_gossip: breaking! Coming from unknown sources are apparently leaked photos from y/n’s private phone.

My questions are how was she hacked and who is the guy!

Be the first to comment

Private Messages

Part 2

[hs-is-loml]

Married to Who. (cl16)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Famous!Wolff!Reader

Summary: y/n and her husband have been so private that fans would've never thought she was married to an F1 driver of all people or when fans are starting to make connections and figure out who y/n's husband is

Type: Social Media AU! face claim is Alycia Debnam-Carey

Warnings: like 4 grammar mistakes in the twitter threads + some comments accusations/insinuations of cheating but that's because they don't know charles and reader are married...

a/n: this took longer than i expected but hope you all enjoy!

all translations of french/spanish come from google! english translations are in parentheses!!

masterlist

twitter

instagram

yourusername has posted

liked by danielricciardo, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 1,621,936 others

yourusername all of these pictures were from before summer break, and you can tell why they need a mid-season break from each other...

tagged carlossainz55, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and charles_leclerc

view all 146,571 comments

carlossainz55 great picture of charles and i, chica (girl)

→ yourusername yeah sure, great...

→ y/nstan i love her

protectthewags y/n and her husband always takes the best soft launch pictures

→ thef1wags soft launch? they've been doing this for the past 3 years 😭 they need to hard launch.

→ y/nforlifeee her husband is the strongest soldier out there when she's around all these hot men

lewishamilton roscoe and i didn't make the cut this time...

→ yourusername my past two posts have been literally about you and dad at the last race😀

→ roscoelovescoco we's can'ts beelieve you's

→ mercedes8time not lewis using roscoe's account to come after y/n for not including him in the post

danielricciardo didn't know max was into that kind of stuff

→ maxverstappen1 you enjoyed it, don't lie

→ yourusername maxie, sweetie, look at his face. the man was in pain

→ liked by danielricciardo and 309 others

charles_leclerc mon ange... what is this (my angel)

→ yourusername it's an appreciation post, cha

→ carlosconfusion the nicknames>>

→ f1circuittrack how is her husband okay? more importantly is y/n doing okay? because i would leave my partner too if charles leclerc ever called me, mon ange

yourusername has posted a story

twitter

instagram

yourusername has posted a story

instagram

charles_leclerc has posted

liked by landonorris, arthurleclerc, carlossainz55, and 1,791,938 others

charles_leclerc she's real, guys😅 well, i hope she's real or i've been with casper for the last 5 years...

view all 201,963 comments

arthurleclerc maman said she doesn't know how your wife is real either or more so how you managed to convince her to marry your ass

→ charles_leclerc maman did not say that.

→ arthurleclerc you're right, she said she doesn't know how such an amazing girl got with a buffoon.

→ ferraritearss WIFE???

→ partytotheafterparty HIS WIFE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WIFE?

→ paddoook no way this man has not only a girl but is MARRIED to her😀

worldchampionsisaid man is fighting for break on and off track after the imaginary girlfriend rumors on twitter💀

→ thatonebakucorner he was quick to correct them too

→ f1propstand he's over people thinking he's that delulu after the resigning of his Ferrari contract...

carlossainz55 i will never understand how she deals with you 24/7 or your cooking. oh, wait, she cooks when you guys are home

→ liked by arthurleclerc and 410 others

danielricciardo nope. she's totally a ghost.

→ f1memes not daniel gaslighting him😭

lilymhe aww! tell her i miss her and love the nails!!

→ 16crying55laughing lily, tell us what you know

twitter

instagram

yourusername has posted

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, susie_wolff, and 1,361,590 others

yourusername perfect timing for our summer break photo dump

tagged charles_leclerc

view all 201,319 comments

charles_leclerc mon amour, je t'aimais alors, je t'aime maintenant et je t'aimerai pour toujours ❤️(my love, I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you forever)

→ yourusername i have loved you since the first time our eyes met

y/nforlifeee i've never seen two people that compliment each other so well

→ y/nsidelove their kids are going to be so beautiful

susie_wolff safe travels, sweethearts!

→ yourusername see you, dad, and jack soon🤍

landonorris honestly, i don't know how people didn't figure it out sooner

→ maxverstappen1 yeah, these two are like rabbits

→ carlossainz55 i share a hotel room wall with them half the season. i'm forever scared

danielricciardo no, you're definitely casper the ghost

→ yourusername i will block you💀

→ danielricciardo i wonder why that reply was invisible?

leclerc_pascale tout mon amour pour vous deux❤️ (all my love for you both)

→ liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 651 others

scuderiaferrari our favourite girl with whoever that guy is!

mercedesamgf1 mini boss with lightning mcqueen🙈

→ charles_leclerc we're not starting this again.