#Did he go the wrong way already?
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Hallan's picture was created using Portrait Works.
Part Two I hurry through the knee-high heather until I clear the ridge behind our farm and on down the slope a bit into the next dale. Then I pause to catch my breath and consider my next move.
Chipping Over is the nearest village. I could be there by midmorning. There might be work available of a sort, but not much until the market at the end of the week. Also, this is the first place my mother will look for me, and it would be supremely embarrassing to be dragged through the streets by the ears by a screeching little old lady. I love by mum, but she does do that at times.
There's Fraymere House, too, Ser Bardach's seat. He'd likely have something for a brawny lad with a sharp ax. Of course, my mum is just as likely to show up there and scream until Ser Bardach laughs himself silly and sends me home.
Or, a day's journey up beyond the hills, there's the Barleymoor. I don't know why they call it that, since there's not a single ear of barley growing anywhere up there. There are meant to be ruins here and there, though, as well as hideouts of quite a few malefactors. Rich malefactors, they are, rich enough to have attracted lads from farm and village before.
None of those lads has actually come back to give an account of themselves, though.
Still, that's one place Mum's not going to come looking for me. And hey, maybe the malefactors are hiring.
I turn up the little valley and stride toward the source of its rivulet and the wide empty moorland beyond.
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I think that Dr. Christina "I was an excellent soldier" Raynor needs to deal with some personal things before she's anyone's therapist, because she strong-armed more of Bucky's autonomy away from him than Zemo did within the series.
#yeah man make amends for the shit that happened when you didn't even have control over your own thoughts#so she was giving him a way to “fix things” but that wasn't on him to do so#all she did was doubly reinforce what he already thinks - which is a justified but false and guilt-laden perception - about the situation#idk much about therapy but i don't think that they're sposed to do that. correct me if i'm wrong and then i'll go fight all therapists#bucky barnes#tfaws#alpine#my art
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Stillborn? No, still born au -- Dani Phantom! Clone girl herself. :]
She can't exist in this au. And it's not that I don't want to add her -- although I'll be blunt, I don't, I'll be the first to admit that I think she's more often than not nothing more than a narrative deadweight used to prop up Danny and I don't like adding characters as props -- but her existence quite literally goes against and muddies the Vlad and Danny dynamic I have for this au. Ellie's existence in canon itself states that she was created -- and Danny's other clones too -- because Vlad gave up on trying to convert him to his side and decided to just make a son instead.
Something that just, doesn't happen in the stillborn-still born au. See, for folks who are only just hearing about this au or didn't see my post about Vlad in this au, he and Danny have a complicated love-hate relationship where they mutually want to adopt each other, but their morals and way of doing things -- mainly Vlad's insistence on getting revenge against the Fentons -- gets in the way of them being able to do that in full.
Vlad knows Danny wants him to adopt him, and is only fighting him on it because he refuses to let Vlad kill the Fentons for essentially killing the both of them. He's succeed in 50% of his goal. Canon Vlad never even made it to 1%. With that in mind, stillborn Vlad has no reason and sees no reason to clone Danny, he has his son. He just needs to convince him to let him avenge them both.
Dani simply has no place in the stillborn-still born au. And in fact, if Vlad did decide to clone Danny -- for whatever reason, -- it would damage his relationship with Danny damn near beyond repair. That's because Danny would view it the same way he views Damian's existence; as a replacement for himself. He would become beyond furious and hurt, and not for the typical 'I can't believe you cloned me, you creep!' reason, but for a 'I can't believe you cloned me, you said I was your son!' reason.
I am not pulling any punches here when I say Danny wants Vlad to be his dad just as much as Vlad wants Danny to be his son, there's just a lot of factors getting in the way. They are, as the french say, ✨mentally unwell.✨ Danny has a ton of abandonment and trust issues due to his experiences in foster care. He would immediately become jealous, insecure, and incredibly furious and hurt. He'd despise her on principal and want nothing to do with her, or Vlad for that matter. He'd just fucking haaate her. It's not her fault she was made but Danny doesn't really care, he's lashing out and pushing people away because he's been betrayed yet again.
The only way they could get along or for Danny to actually like her in any capacity would be if it was his idea to clone himself. Which is like, kinda obvious but considering most clone plots tend to be non-consensual it's kinda gotta be said. He has to have a hand in creating her, that's the only way I can see him liking her in any way. Or if someone other than Vlad created her. If Vlad clones him though, all bets are off the table and he'll despise her.
TL;DR: Dani can't exist in this au because she goes against the narrative I've got for the two most fucked up half-dead could-be-father-son duo in existence, but if she did exist Danny would despise her.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul au#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny#danyal al ghul#dpxdc au#vlad masters#dani phantom#he's what the french like to call 'emotionally unstable' <3. vlad is a possessive parent thats obvi but DANNY is a possessive son#he is SO not mentally okay. he's a good kid! but he's also mentally unwell and incredibly traumatized <3#he doesnt play nice with his biological siblings unfortunately :((#danny as a default pushes his people away from him and flinches away from most conventional affection bc he thinks its insincere#and it takes a while to convince him that yes you do actually care about his well being and you're not going to hurt him.#he really is just a traumatized cat that you have to coax into letting you pet it. he clings onto the people he trusts like a terrified cat#have you ever tried pulling a cat down from something when their claws are dug into it and the only way you can get them down is by hurting#them a little because you have to yank them off? yeah that's danny.#if dani DID exist and Danny and her DID get along she'd spend a lot of time also convincing him to let vlad kill the fentons. danny keeps#trying to tell her murder is wrong. dani just says 'but they got you and dad killed' and unfortunately she is as stubborn as her brother an#dad. she gets to be a little evil. as a treat <3. she also doesnt like damian but that's because she too is a possessive sister#who doesnt like to share and damian already *has* a bunch of older brothers. he doesn't *need* danny. and also he's a replacement#we love complicated family dynamics <33 THE most dysfunctional half-dead not-family ever.
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There's a small moment in the Hunter x Hunter 2011 anime that I thought was pretty cute. It's close to the beginning, during the Hunter Exam, when they're looking for pigs in the forest. Gon slides down a hill, and Killua follows him, only for him to crash because Gon had stopped at the bottom of the hill. This scene!
It's one of those rare little bits added by an adaptation that really add to the characters - because yeah, this was not in the manga.
I find this anime is really good at adding little moments that either
are just cute or endearing
are fun extra interactions that show off the character dynamics more
actually highlight something about the characters in question
This one, I feel, does all three. First of all, I just love seeing Killua a bit more involved in their group before the eventual reveal of "he just wanted to be friends". It's really sweet.
But mostly, I think it's interesting that Killua assumed Gon was just messing around, when Gon was actually focusing his efforts on beating the challenge. Because, sure, Killua finds Gon somewhat intriguing, and he really wants to stick around him due to his desire for a friend - but Killua still sees himself as a class above pretty much everyone else there, and also as an assassin in a category so firmly removed from "regular kid".
So, Killua totally misreads Gon here. He assumes Gon is just doing a regular kid thing and attempts to mimic it so he can join in. It doesn't actually occur to him that Gon was tracking the pigs, or focusing on the task at hand.
It's a far cry from later on, where Killua and Gon are primarily a team effort - in sync, aware of the others' strengths, and taking each other quite seriously.
And part of it, of course, is that they just don't know each other very well at this point. But I think another thing is that Killua, during most of the Hunter Exam, is more invested in what Gon represents than who he is, necessarily.
His first friend represents rebellion against his family, childish enjoyment, and the desire for connection and understanding that he is not receiving. And even though, as time goes on, he grows more and more impressed with Gon, I really don't think it fully clicked that he wanted that friend he wished for to be specifically Gon until he was confronted by Illumi.
I also think Killua takes Gon a lot more seriously after the fight with Hanzo, and especially after Gon went all the way to the Zoldyck estate to save him. Before the Hanzo fight, Killua was outright irritated by Gon being ranked higher than him overall, and was even a little bitter at the beginning of the fight ("I could've dodged that easily" comes to mind).
By Heavens Arena, I feel they both have a much firmer grasp on, and appreciation for, who the other is as a person. Killua is more consciously aware of his investment in Gon as an individual rather than an abstract, and Gon is aware of Killua's crappy upbringing and is quick to be very supportive of him as he figures things out for himself.
During the Hunter Exam though, a lot of the interactions between them feel a lot like Killua is either mimicking or acting out "regular kid" behaviours, either because that's what he thinks Gon is already doing, or he wants to see if Gon will respond in kind.
Aaaaand... he does. :)
So, while they do not have what I feel is a true depth of bond here yet, the foundation is already being laid down for their powerful friendship - Gon and Killua both show an immediate willingness and enjoyment to go along with what the other wants to do and to try out what the other is good at, and they wind up having a whole lot of fun together right off the bat.
#obviously a lot a lot a lot i did not touch on#but this was already longer than i meant it to be lmao#just a few observations#actually i just want you to look at how cute these scenes are. that's actually the whole reason i wrote this#look!!! at him!!! oughhghgh he's so happy#storyrambles#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective#<-my beloved analysis tag it's been too long...#hxh#hxh meta#killua zoldyck#hope this actually makes sense... i have this irrational fear every time i go to write a meta for a fandom i've never written for before#that i'm going to be jumped in a dark alley by the fans because i totally read things wrong dhjgbnsof#hunter exam gon and killua is basically just killua roundabout asking if gon wants to play with him and if he will accept him#and gon responding with an enthusiastic yes
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Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.
When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?
Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?
I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.
I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.
An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.
So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.
Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡
#bungou stray dogs#seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want#but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this#either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it#if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol#maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk#also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing#like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost#not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise#i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with#and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story#I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen#BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga#like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible#so I at least am still perfectly happy lol#(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already#please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda#Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
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he still has his tonsils. by the way if you even care
#sorry this is fucking UNINTELLIGIBLE but unfortunately i’m still on my bullshit about dr. daddyissues. yeah it’s gonna be all month#i am rotating episode 2.8 ‘the mistake’ in my head at breakneck speed. i am gnawing on it i want to swallow it#oh he’s such a lying liar who lies. charming little bastard. would rather die/lose his license than express one wholly unaffected emotion#‘he thinks not giving a crap makes him like house. like it’s something to aspire to’ quick question HOW serious do the daddy issues have to#be before you start latching on to fucking GREGORY HOUSE as a paternal figure and role model. really#even cameron is not down this bad. even WILSON is not down this bad.#the daddy issues of it all are very understandable though because even setting aside whatever went down back in childhood that shit his#father did to him in seasons 1-2 is SO messed up. jesus#imagine traveling all the way across the world to the hospital your son works in for a consult which confirms what you already knew: you’re#going to die of cancer in like 2 months. making a whole point out of stopping by to visit your son. not telling him what’s going on.#letting him spend a whole episode’s worth of time gradually coming to terms with his complicated feelings towards you (complicated on#account of a whole childhood of objectively awful parenting). the kid finally is able to try reaching back out to you. after YOU initiated#the contact in the first place. how do you react? well obviously by telling him ‘oh sorry i actually have to get in a taxi right now’ and#fucking back off to the other side of the world without giving him a chance to actually talk to you at all and resolve any of the emotions#you just dredged up. oh by the way you still haven’t fucking told him you’re about to die and in fact actively mislead him into thinking#he’s going to have the chance to try meeting with you again next time he visits your home country.#especially fucked up given that the whole reason it DID take your son so long to come around THIS time is that he feels like every time#he’s tried reaching out to you in the past you’ve just disappointed him by refusing to put in the effort to meet him there.#And Now Here We Are Again.#rowan what the FUCK is wrong with you. i want to dig you up and kill you again#house md#robert chase#caseyposting
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I'm gonna be honest with you guys, the urge to do the same thing I did with the oitd silhouettes, aka slap text posts onto the art with no knowledge of their canon personality other than what they did in the trailer and pulling from the fandom's perceived personality for them, for the new oxventure characters revealed in that trailer is so real
#and there was only reactions in the trailer#willowfine seems sweet and nice#robin kinda gives off pathetic boyfail to me (in a similar way to dob's pathetic boyfail energy) while also hiding something#lug's character art makes me think he's kinda cautious fsr#but Mike just smiling in the trailer makes me think he's pretty happy-go-lucky like Egbert#tho that could just be him talking with the team about a silly thing he's doing or during his character introduction in the actual episode#I have a similar situation with cressida#cressida's character art seems kinda annoyed and thinks she's above people like Prudence did#however Ellen seems scared or at least shocked or worried so cressida might actually be caring and kind like Ellen's other characters#then we have our new resident goth: happen#I kinda get the vibe that he's a more silent character that gets the job done quickly#like ice bear#but also maybe struggles with emotional connections#even if I'm wrong in my vibe guessing I'm sure I'll like them#I'm already slapping aroace headcanons on some of them#them being happen lug and willowfine#maybe cressida too#actually if I think too much about it I'm just gonna slap aroace headcanons on all of them#so they're all aroace unless I'm proven otherwise aka if I think another headcanon fits better#not a text post#this was gonna be a delete later but a lot of my thoughts are in the tags now#oxventure
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"IENZO WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE LIGHT ARE YOU DOING" Ansem the Wise cries, bursting into the computer room just after Ienzo (age 8) ordered Tron to broadcast "10 hours of placid forest sounds occasionally interspersed by the call of a cuckoo" across all of Radiant Garden
..
...
actually. hey. shitpost cancelled. do you ever think about how it is Tron finding a buried file within the computer that miraculously caused the entire world to remember Hollow Bastion's true name through pillars of light and sparkles? until then, none of the citizens remembered that it was called anything other than Hollow Bastion. like. the computer is not only a massive city-wide defense system that can be twisted to instead summon Heartless within the city, it can wipe an entire world's memory and replace it with false ones, and it did. all controlled from the castle. easily. what else might they- Xehanort obviously, but also potentially Ansem the Wise- have done with that power? it can get so unbelievably dark so quickly
#kingdom hearts#radiant garden#ansem the wise#ienzo#me post#me: I need to write a fucked up fic about it now#the specter of the violet room putting its hand on my shoulder because it already did it in a way that's as fucked up as you can get:#which for the record was imbuing the citizens with an illusion of safety to prevent rebellion :) nothing is wrong in radiant garden :)#I wish I could just say go read the violet room but the ienzo backstory chapters are just a small fraction of it#it's really not about this at all. I could talk about it for hours but it's not about this except for the relevancy of the themes#but if you want to go find it anyway it's the violet room by sarehptar on ff.net chapters 10 “storm” to 12 “dissonance”#starting from the first “teloiv” scene break line with “he cuts dark shapes through the frost...”#that's his whooooole backstory though not just the part with the spell and iirc it's like novella length so bhjskdfhsjk#anyway. I could still write something fucked up. I'll just have to be careful not to accidentally copy something else#the nature of the bluejay is every so often they just start thinking about violet room again
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I've seen some meta posts and fanart about Blitz giving Stolas those "gud job" stickers he gave the little goat, and I just love all of them for so many reasons. It's such a good concept, especially in the context of a future where Stolas works for I.M.P., because I think it'd ultimately be very good for both Stolas in general and for his and Blitz's relationship.
Bear with me for a second as I go on a little tangent, but I remember seeing a post awhile back about this dnd group who had a kindergarten teacher for a DM, and she would give out stickers when the players did a good job in the game. After a little while she started to encourage them to do better outside of the game too, like showering/doing laundry more often or learning how to cook so they could take turns with her to provide the weekly meal for their group, and she would praise them when they did, which made them want to do it more often. She'd also do stuff like tell them, “we don't use autistic as an insult here, I'm very disappointed in you”, and they'd stop. And all of that worked, because they were so unused to having someone be proud of them or getting praised for good behavior.
Good job stickers are such a small reward, but both children and adults alike tend to cherish getting them and are more motivated to do well when they have tangible proof that their efforts are noticed and appreciated. If you consistently give people praise for what they do right while they're still learning, they usually take the inevitable course corrections that come with any learning curve a lot better. And when they get something really wrong and cross a line, a simple “I'm very disappointed in you” or "hey, that's really fucked up, don't say shit like that" hits much harder, and prompts them to both want to do better and to be more conscientious of their words/actions going forward in order to be told they did a good job again and get another sticker for their accomplishment of unlearning the unwanted behavior.
And literally I think that'd work so well on Stolas - and probably Blitz too, let's be real. He's starved for approval from people whose opinion he cares about and he's likely desperate to be told whether or not he's doing the right things, because he's been trying so hard to be a better person, but he's been having to do it basically entirely alone without much direction. Positive reinforcement would work so much better for people like him and Blitz than getting a tongue lashing every time they got something wrong. And I genuinely think Blitz and Stolas would want to use this method of positive reinforcement once they got started. They don't like hurting each other outside of a BDSM context, and honestly doling out praise for doing well is probably something they already used to do during/after scenes, so once Blitz gets them started with the stickers I think they'd probably fall back into it pretty naturally. Whether the others follow suit is up for debate though lol.
#helluva boss#stolas goetia#blitzo#text post#meta#my post#stolitz#Stolas' mental health is so bad that I think getting harshly reprimanded would fuck him up even if it did get him to stop his bad habits#especially if he's working for I.M.P as a result of becoming homeless after his sentencing#sure snapping and snarling at him whenever he fucks up and says the wrong thing might be more satisfying in the short-term#but continuously kicking him while he's already down is just gonna leave them with an overly anxious owl who's terrified to mess up#if their goal is to feel powerful by making someone who was once in power scared of them then that's certainly the way to go#but if their goal is to help him become a productive and well adjusted member of society as he unlearns his bigotry then it's doom to fail
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doctor confirmed that 👉 this guy 👈 got pcos and i just got an implant to at the very least get my whacky periods under control and hopefully get them to stop entirely
#i also have thought about how i was cared for today#i go to a free place that has rotating doctors so i didnt see the same one that told me to get a ultrasound of my ovaries + blood test#previous one was a cis woman and she insisted me having multiple cysts on my ovary (that was double in size to the other one) wasnt enough#(for a pcos diagnosis) so she insisted i redo my blood test on the 2nd day of my period#which i didnt realise at the time is dumb as hell cause my periods are so chaotic im not even sure when they start and when they stop#the doc i saw today was a trans doctor (using iel in french! love to see it) and after i explained my situation was like#well theres no point to check your hormones here since we dont have a point of reference#and your ultrasound shows you have multiple cysts in your ovary so thats pcos#then explained to me what that does to your body & all that its not dangerous per say but its good to monitor and take hormones to help#and i said i was already considering the implant to stop my periods and they said that can be arranged today#told me the other alternatives and the risks associated with the implant but tbh my choice was already made#i mean of course idk how much cisness and transness has anything to do with this#but i had seen another cis doctor about my periods being whack when they started being whack#and he did an ultrasound saw nothing and was like “well nothing wrong with you” and that was the end of it#i definitely felt more comfortable and better cared for in the hands of a peer#(also i had to try three pharmacy to get the implant cause the other ones were out of it#walked way more today than planned but good day regardless!)
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its been so long since human content/new content with no book relevancy even the youtubers and theorists like dawko and john are getting restless😭
#dawko going its not gonna happen steel wool right over glamfred and rhe humans not coming back#and john going 'im... totally okay with that happening 😐' about mimics story being spoiled in the books 2 years before sotm#like dude even theyre feeling it#dawko would love a fnaf game about absolutely nothing so his excitment about sotm makes sense#but its refreshing seeing john actually criticize it bc it deserves to be even if it was really tame and not really explicitly said#we understand and its just. so nice seeing someone like john actually aware of how stupid it id#instead of everyone being okay with it and not criticizing it for some reason#even tho it kind of sucks#like john is one of the last surviving theorists and a big figure in the community#seeing him actually not shy away from at least implying he thinks its bad and dumb in a video is just.#soo refreshing#like so many times i felt like i was insane for disliking all the mimic theories before ruin came out#i thought it was boring. mimic is a book villain#its so sad seeing john try to actually theorize about mimic in an interesting way with a satisfuing narrative that isnt just c&p#but it just turns out that actually yeah. its game is a rerun of its book lore that came out years ago#and we spent three entire years foreshadowing and teasing 'carnival' in games to hype this game up and its just c&p book lore nothing new#except the new shit being like. stuff about OG freddys and og characters which. are not explaining the mimics backstory#its just like whyy did they do it like this. and they shafted basically every single thing else to do it for years#no wonder dawko is starting to actually joke about them never bringing them back and john is implying his distaste#pandas.txt#discourse#sorryyyyy#its just like i think about sotm and im like i dont need to be that hard on it. theres nothing inherently wrong with a game explaining#mimics backstory#and then i remember how it was spoiled 2 years earlier in the books and everybody already knows its story and theres nothing#new about the mimic in this game save for a random new form#and im like yeah nevermind its okay to be critical about it they somehow handled the mimics story in the worst way possible#up to this point#like if youre a fan of literally anything else in the story youll resent mimic at least a little bit for how much it hijacked everything#even all mimic fans are getting are reruns of shit they already know
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I'm starting the think Emhyr's plans are just bs. Right I was thinking last night about it all and pretty sure we can all agree both Emhyr and Vilgefortz plans for Ciri are like the worse out of any of the factions that want her (the lodge and elves are both shitty too but I feel like are not as bad compared to these two twits, not by much still bad) But Emhyr says he'll '...beget her a son who will beget a son.' which would not work for his plans of making Nilfgaard a powerful empire since the elder blood can only remain active in the female line, so Vilgefortz must have omitted some details there. However his plans for marrying Ciri will only speed up this process by one generation. Like if he was normal about this and was like 'this is my long lost daughter' (easy to tell cos they look near identical and Ciri has the obvious looks of her mother and grandmother so anyone who met those two women (like Queen Meve of Lyria and Rivia, Calanthes relative) could verify that) then it would either be his foretold grandchild or great-grandchild who would be the actual prophecy child who would inherit his grand empire. However if he got his way then his son and grandson would have half of the gene because they aren't women and wouldn't be able to carry the full elder blood gene, so unless it was a family of controlled incest then the power he wants would just cease to exist. (I doubt getting the Nilfgaardians behind his whole Targaryen family would go down well).
Another thing, if the plan went accordingly and Ciri was on the ship with them then he'd would of sent away Pavetta anyway, which would make it all sooo much worse because Ciri would know he was then (even in the books she notes something familiar about him which would make sense since she was 5 when he 'died' so a part of her could have some recognition). Though admittedly that probably wouldn't happen since I think Vilgefortz would've gotten rid of him and then had both Pavetta and Ciri for his own sick plans. Essentially Emhyr has justified this incest by speeding up the process by a generation because he's impatient. If he hadn't attacked Cintra and instead sent some messengers to Calanthe being like 'hey it's me, your son-in-law I'm actually an emperor and Ciri will be my heir and as such Cintra will join Nilfgaard' then there's Cintra secured. Presumedly he had the whole incest plan the whole time looking for Ciri (I assume so anyway) and only changed his mind after Geralt tore into him, Yennefer didn't want her daughter to cry, said daughter cries so he lets her go. Like he only saw reason after having it pointed out to him? Also the fact it's obvious Ciri is practically identical minus the hair and probably eyes (are his eyes described?) If the incest plot didn't exist then he could just be like 'i've searched for you my long lost daughter you're an empress' then things could've gone a little better, only thing is now Ciri may actually want to go with him (I can see Geralt and Yennefer being able to accompany here or at least allowed to live), but no and I fail to see why at least a version of this couldn't happened.
#witcher#witcher books#cirilla fiona elen riannon#please let me know if im just spouting bs or am actually somewhat right about this#theres no denying he's horrible for considering the incest but like is there literally no other way he could've done his plan???#emhyr var emreis#idk if someone has already gone over this or not#its been a while since ive read the series#i did re-read some pages last night from the final book tho and I'm still lost on his reasons#these are my thoughts from 2 am so bear with me please#even if there was a different version of him getting ciri back#was there no other way to avoid his main plan? again with Vilgeforzt as well I feel like that could've been handled a bit differently#please let me know if im completely wrong and am just going on about nonsense and have completely failed to understand anything about this
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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roleplay idea: barton's trying to say this BS that he's 'good at processing grief' when your muse was a witness to the absolute rage-filled and deranged rampage that barton went on after julien was killed by the joker in which he brutally hurt all but one of his henchmen (he killed the last one because he told him he was 'crazy' and that he 'better kill him, or he was going to tell his boss that barton had been there' and he literally just snapped, went 'you know what, i think i will kill you AND also let the joker know i killed you so he knows to never come near my family again' then killed him. like HUHHH?) at the time with your muse being like this
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#yeahhh 💀 man i wish i was joking about this you all but he really did put like three men in the hospital and killed one of them so...#he is NOT good at processing grief at all SKSKS and yeah the fact that they chose to ally themselves with the joker probably does say-#something about their own character but i don't condone violence or murder so it's still wrong even if they were... terrible 🫠#no but barton was honestly looking for someone else to blame besides himself for julien's death so he basically went to all of these-#henchmen and grilled them + asked them all whether they knew anything about how the joker was planning to kill his son#anddd when they all answered him with a 'no' was when thing's uhhh. Got violent 😬 like just imagine being one of barton's kids-#and mourning the loss of your brother in a normal albeit sad way on your own but then barton comes back home covered in blood-#+ it's obviously not his... like i don't even know if i'd want to ask him what the hell he just did because while barton is in mourning-#or grieving you do NOT want to be near him if you are the one that caused the death in question because you will get your-#shit rocked let me tell you ☠️ like the only reason why barton didn't kill the joker himself is BC he knew that that would attract-#batman's ire like nothing else and he does NOT want that smoke as much as barton hates him LMAO but DC muses... just to let you know-#or really any type of muse that interacts with him but those who are close to him in particular i would not touch a hair on any of his#family members head unless you want to have someone after you + i swear i'm not saying that to be edgy or anything BC ever since i#first mentioned that barton is always this 🤏 close to going off of the deep end even more than he already is i was not joking at all ASDFGH#tw: mentions of violence#tw: mentions of murder#tw: mentions of child death
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what if who did this to you part 4 is tinged in the pale blue of max klinger’s l‘heure bleu and what if it’s so liminal it doesn’t feel real because the after never does when you don’t even know the before, and what if robin turns into a caspar david friedrich painting and what if steve becomes the blue that depressed robin but she loves him anyway and what if i just lose my mind about them
#seriously just. man the world is ending. and there are monsters. and eddie doesn’t know shit about any of that. but he feels this fear that#is palpable and he sees the way robin looks at steve and he sees the way steve lets himself be held#despite the broken ribs despite the bruises like he’s used to bone crushing hugs when his body is already crushed#he should flinch he should wince and eddie’s witnessing and telling a story he’s not even a part of#so what if it all goes blue but it’s the wrong shade it’s the sad shade it’s the liminal shade that traps eddie in this moment#so what if i go insane about how far removed eddie is from everything and still he sees it all but he has no way to come to the right#conclusions and tell the correct story. so what if the narrator is not part of the story he tells. so what so what so what#who did this to you#who did this to you part 4#also everyone look at the paintings: l‘heure bleu and wanderer above the sea of fog#these paintings are what my soul looks like (when i dissociate) (which is often)
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