#Diana thinks it’s funny
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Arsenal discovers this. Arsenal should not have discovered this.
Now Captain Marvel and Arsenal and juggling their limbs. They play baseball, but the bat is Caps arm, and the ball is Arsenals arm.
During Halloween they do joint costume of Frankenstein’s monster, and litterally swap limbs. How they swapped two perfectly functioning legs as well as the arms is beyond everyone.
The trans community discovered this. Now trans men and trans women are pairing up to ask Cap to switch certain limbs. Cap says there’s an easier spell for that. They say how do you know that. Cap says he uses it on himself every now and then (he got trans and gender fluid champions in the past) (could also imply trans or fluid Billy Batson).
Cap becomes a gender icon. Cap destroys transphobia. World peace ensues.
It’s cannon. Trust.
Marvel Freaking People Out
Since Marvel isn’t human, he can do a lot of things a human can’t. As a result, Billy takes advantage of this anytime he can.
Gods: “CHUG CHUG CHUG”
Marvel: *consecutively chugging monster energy after monster energy*
Supes: “What is he doing…?”
Flash: “He told me the gods in his head are trying to see how many monster energies he can drink until his heart fails.”
Supes: “What?!” *sounds alarmed and starts counting the bunch of cans on the counter* “How many has he drank?! Why haven’t you stopped him?!”
Flash: *shrugs* “I didn’t even think he had a heart. Do you hear one?”
Supes: *tunes his hearing to hear his heart* “No???” *sounds horrified*
By the way, Billy thought all of them were tasty and that was the only reason he did it.
Batman and Marvel: *staring down at a henchman*
Marvel: “Hey, Mr. Batman, wanna see something cool?”
Batman: “Hn.” (translated: Go ahead. We already got the information anyways)
Marvel: *casts a little spell on the henchman and makes them hit themselves over and over* “Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.”
Batman: *stares for a little bit* “You can just do that?”
Marvel: *dissolves the spell* “Yeah?”
Batman: “How interesting.” *freaking out inside*
Bruce was thinking about how easy he could do that to Clark or literally anyone else.
Then there was the time he and got offended by another leaguer.
Marvel: *gasp* “How dare you!” *detaches his arm and smacks them with it*
Leaguer: *horrified he just took off his arm*
Speaking of detaching limbs, this man will let his hands run around like Frankie Stein from Monster High. He also bends his body in weird ways when Nightwing challenges him. He always wins because he doesn’t think Nightwing can bend backwards till the point it should realistically snap his back.
#well that escalated quickly#I did not see that coming#sometimes I don’t know what the ending is when I start writing it just goes#ciao anyways#billy batson#dc captain marvel#shazam#captain marvel dc#arsenal#roy harper#they be throwing limbs besties#they litterally throw hands#trans icon#gender fluid#there’s been lgbt champions I just know it#this could also imply trans Billy Batson and I’m here for it#JL#they are horrified#at least most are#Diana thinks it’s funny#world peace#how it’s achieved#trust
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Diana Wynne Jones wins big once again for understanding that the funniest way to write an isekai/portal fantasy is from the point of view of the people living in the fantasy world who look at the character who got isekai’d from our world and are like ‘WHAT is that guy’s deal???’
Howl/Howell stumbling back into his moving castle drunk after a night with his rugby bros is like the second funniest scene in that book, closely followed by poor Sophie getting reverse isekai’d and taking a day trip to Wales and suffering the terrible ordeal of a ride in a car.
#the scene of the day trip to wales was so fucking funny in the musical….still thinking about it…..#also the first funniest scene in the book is the weed killer scene. of course#hmc#howl’s moving castle#diana wynne jones#Caitie speaks
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Starving and wasting away etc etc
bonus:
Hes tall and huge and HEAVY and he is so overly active that he has to maintain an insanely high caloric intake to make sure his body doesnt collapse from the strain of everything. He will eat virtually anything but he is spoiled from the best takeout Gotham has to offer: 11$ shrimp and broccoli from the chinese food spot that closes at 4am- among other things.
#batman#bruce wayne#superman#wonder woman#dc#my art#mine#bruce#clark#diana#i will not make him a sugar fiend but. he is a donut guy. also#it is funny to think of him stopping in some random late night cafe in the full getup#and watching him chow down on donuts he ordered while he waits for drinks#the powdered sugar ruins his vibe so he waits until after patrol to get them#u just KNOW there was one time where he had an alert as soon as he got his food#and he and dick had to grapple walls w munchkins in their mouth#i dont want to write him as food motivated....but he can be bargained with if you have a favorite meal or snack of his#virtually every team member and robin knows this#and he doesnt even pretend to scold them bc he gets good takeout every time
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Charles getting cancer is actually comical to me.
Imagine the only purpose you have in this life, the only reason you were born is to be king. That’s it, that’s all you have. IS TO BE KING. You were told from childhood that you one day would rule England after your mother. So you wait and wait. You wait for 59 YEARS. Because your 96 year old mother hasn’t carked it yet. THEN she finally kicks the bucket, you’re finally king at 73 years old. Congratulations. Your life purpose has finally happened. But not even two years in ASS CANCER beats you. What a life huh?
It’s a our princess coming through for the win.
#funny#joking#self depreciating memes#meme#memes#self depreaction#jokes#i think im funny#humor#i’m funny#self depreacting#England#prince charles#king#british royal family#princess diana#King Charles
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My Wonder Woman and friends
#my art#the last drawing is from a panel in the legend of Wonder Woman that I find really funny#I’m so sorry to the public. if I had free reign I’d change so much about Diana’s supporting cast#especially barbara and Steve I think there’s so much missing potential with both of them to be interesting antagonists/friends to Diana#maybe if I read more comics I’ll find them in the narrative roles I seek.. alas#wonder woman#diana of themyscira#dc#dc comics#etta candy#steve trevor#barbara ann minerva#barbara minerva
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i think cassie sandsmark should get into fullmetal alchemist and naruto and stuff because then she could literally have the power of gods and anime on her side. and post
#rimi talks#i think she'd be more of a shonen fan (just based on how thrilled she is every time diana starts whacking people in front of her)#girl who fucking loves to watch animated robots punch each other or whatever#and i just think it'd be really funny for her to become the vine. she has the power of god and anime on her side.#and she will make that someone else's problem!!!!#cassie
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Arthur Curry: "You seriously don't remember why you got turned into a statue?"
Reader: "No, I don't! But come on, what could I have possibly done that would justify--"
Reader: *flashbacks to riding Zeus like a bull, a murderous looking Hera looming overhead*
Reader: "....okay, maybe a little my fault--"
"A little?" Arthur raised his brow, curious to understand the circumstances.
"Ok, maybe a lot," you replied, remembering how greatly you enjoyed being flaunted around Olympus by Zeus; with no womb to plant his progeny, he could enjoy you without the threat of Hera killing you, or so he hoped. As did you.
#shiteanswers#dc zeus x reader#dc zeus x male reader#i know the greek myths about reader and zeus are the raunchiest nastiest thing in the world lmfao 😭#wouldn't it be funny if reader and Zeus did kinda get back together but reader is having a hard time adjusting to the modern world and also#the more i think about it the more i realize that Diana now has a stepfather who is like decades younger technically but also older ??#lol#shitequeue#zeus lover/pretty statue boy ⚡️
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Howl would make callout posts about himself from fake accounts
#is it a convoluted scheme to get people to stop following him or does he want attention? yes#howl's moving castle#howl pendragon#howell jenkins#shitpost#peevesie speaks#hmc#hmc book#diana wynne jones#i think im funny
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I wanna write a oneshot where--the Batkids give their various reactions to Bruce fondly grumpily informing them that after 20+ years of "friendship," he's finally "considering" an official relationship with Clark and Diana and wants to know their opinions before committing--so fucking badly, but the only reaction my brain will focus on is Jason giving Bruce a dead-eyed look and saying:
"You don't deserve either of them."
Bruce--now nearly fluent in Jason-speak--takes that as him approving the relationship and promptly moves on to ask his other kids for their thoughts.
Alternatively, my brain also won't stop fixating on Jason going up to Diana and/or Clark later and saying:
"You can do better."
#batfam#batfamily#superwonderbat#bruce wayne#batman#clark kent#superman#diana prince#wonder woman#jason todd#i just think it's funny#when the batkids roast bruce#and i definitely feel like jason#would have some pretty BIG opinions#about bruce dating his favorite superhero#lmao#dc shit post#batman shit post#dc trinity#dreamer queue
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So I'm currently taking an intro to Criminal Justice class
Apparently the guy who invented the polygraph also invented Wonder woman?
You know. The woman with a lasso that forces you to tell the truth?
#idk i keep thinking about how fucking funny this is#like was this guy so obsessed with truth that creating a machine lie detector wasnt enough#or did he come up with the lasso if truth and went#what if we had that in real life#either way its hilarious#dc#wonder woman#diana prince#diana of themyscira#wonder woman dc#dc facts#fun fact#lasso of truth#dc comics#dc lore#lena speaks
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support group for nerds who were rejected by their peers because of their hyper-energetic and reckless nature and, among other factors, this lead to a habit of escapism through fiction. only for them to eventually find themselves in a fantasy world, except that this world isn't anything like the story they envisioned. it's is far crueler and won't let them be the hero they always dreamed of, crushing their idealized fantasy. and because of shenanigans involving different forms of time travel they end up taking on massive burdens that weaken their mental state even further, and driving them into far worse depression than their former happy-go-lucky selves (even if part of that was a facade). this compounded with the guilt of leaving their parents behind, and the idea that they hurt all the friends they made along the way, they start to believe that the entire world would have been better off if they were never born to begin with. so they begin to feel that they can't be loved for who they really are, despite how much the people around them care. and at the end their arcs basically center around this idea of moving on from fantasy, growing up, and both understanding and being understood by others. and also have purple girlfriends with cats and a cute new non-human little sibling with parental abandonment issues
#i didnt know their reference sheets even had the same pose when i started making this post. i know its a common one ofc but#its funny#re:zero#the owl house#do i even have a tag for the owl house idr#i like the show a lot i just dont post abt it much lol#biggest difference ofc is that the owl house is about a million times more kid friendly than rezero#can you fucking IMAGINE if the rabbit scene was on disney channel holy shit#couldve also added ''rivalry w someone who has purple hair is kind of gay'' but amity still had green hair when they were like. rivals#i think the owl house is what happens when you combine rezero and little witch academia actually#diana...........................
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you totally should do an oc relationship web!! id love to see that i find your ocs fascinating :] also it's a good way to quickly introduce newcomers to oc dynamics hehe
hello. i am psychologically unwell and so i want to remind you that you ASKED for this
if some of the text is too small to read IM SORRY. it should be ok if u click to see it bigger. i also had to design nadia for this and she actually turned out spot on. and i decided shes missing an arm
i am thinking of them all crazy style always. anyone wants me to elaborate shoot me an ask or a fuckin dm idc. i will always talk about my fucking guys <3
#oc#ocs#ask#I AM UNWELL ABOUT THEM#u can call this 1: the sisters kil (+ diana). 2: the siren's song (hatred and malice). 3: the serpent's tail (messy bitches)#did not connect diana/heiti or julian/nadia because. they dont rlly know each other#diana and heiti never meet and julian only meets nadia like. once. and it does not last long!#also nadia and heiti. they never meet#but the rest of them. oh boy. they have GOT to get normaller#fucking. julian and warren is so funny. BITE EACH OTHERS DICKS OFF#also also. kinda of paragraphs for julian and naomi. they have. a complicated relationship to say the least#also also ALSO. nadias arm is literally nothing. i might change it in the future if i think of something cool but for now like.#it's literally just a birth defect. when i drew her i didn't draw the rest of her arm and then it looked like it was on purpose and i was.#well. no reason for her to NOT be missing an arm. missing an arm be upon ye#ONE MROE THING AND THEN ILL BE DONE. the reason julian and diana's change is bcause the one with the sisters is more early on/in ereform#it's pre-plot. or like. most of it at least.#after (messy bitches) is more later on and then. haha well. unhappy reunion be upon ye#ALSO THANKS FOR SENDING ME THIS. I LOVE BEING ENABLED MWAH MWAH MWAH
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Should I ignore Man or should I hear him out
#he sent me some song rec on spotify and i dont even use spotify. so to entertain him id have to pull it up#completely independently... and THEN go through the labor of entertaining him by formulating a response to whatever the hell it is#what is with him lately? doesn't he know i have a silly work crush that i only talk about passively in tumblr posts#it's funny bc with Man i had the same exact sorta silly crush on him like 5 years ago#when he seemed completely unattainable to me but he hasn't been that for a long time#he's so disgustingly human! admittedly rather pretty though#this guy if you follow the Man saga on britneyshakespeare dot tumblr dot com used to be a model like 10 years ago#he retired years before i knew him#i met him through poetry and he's written some good stuff but he's really rather silly#perhaps i reject him solely on the grounds that he genuinely admires me#to some extent. and not entirely incorrectly but often a little bit incorrectly.#i think he idealizes women. not just me#also he used to talk to me about other girls!!!!!!! lmao#stupid Man#tales from diana#all this instead of opening up the link he sent me. wow im funny#maybe i should tell him about work crush and pay him back for hearing about those dalliances he had when i was 21#nah i wont do that. im more of a gentleman than him lol
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Adam tries to surprise Lawrence at work(GONE WRONG! NOT CLICKBAIT!!)
#// suggestive#kinda#adam faulkner stanheight#logan nelson#chainshipping#implied at least#ik Logan probably works at a different hospital than Larry but let me have headcanons okay#also i added some silly details#like Adam has on two friendship bracelets i imagine Diana gave him#and he has on hello kitty socks#and he has a scar on his bicep from being stabbed by Scott with a rusty nail#and a scar on his shoulder from getting shot by Larry#because he totally lived and they lived happily ever after#oh and he has top surgery scars cus im a WOKE LEFTIST who has to project my trans agenda on every character i like#doodle#comic sorta#fanart#i think im very funny
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I love Wonder Woman very much and I love her potential to explore themes of truth’s different meanings and violence against women and what it means for trauma to be passed on or processed in different circumstances but unfortunately all this potential is snubbed by her support of the military vis a vis her solider boyfriend and her origins as a character designed to encourage women to join the war effort. I think if you wanted to give her story real impact and meaning this would have to be completely removed and as such I long for a universe where Etta and the Holliday Girls are an internationally touring band and Steve is their loser friend who manages the finance and Diana follows them all around as the friend who can’t hold an apartment
#dc#my new story Wonder Woman goes couch surfing#which iirc already happened in the 80s but still#the internationally touring aspect would still give her stories a reason to be global instead of connected to a particular city#and would place Etta more centrally in the story I feel like a lot of WW comics aren’t sure what to do with her#and I think it would be fun and whimsical.. imagine Diana sneaking around to prevent#some sort of sinister sabotage at a music festival while Etta is performing onstage and trying to give her clues as to#where to go next and what to do.. classic funny#I have many ideas for this sort of WW rewrite but a lot of them are so divorced from the source material via#the ground up wiping of Steve’s backstory and character so I get nervous about sharing them LOL#Wonder Woman
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reposting this from my twt bc its funny but olike. im still thinking about this. sigma with glasses could be real methinks... mostly because it would be really funny but also I Love giving characters stuff like that actually
#also. i made a typo in the original tweet but yes. i have glasses and so do BOTH my parents and sister. and like all of my grandparents#i was the first one to need them then my mom found out she needed them because of me. and so on#but enough about me. the prospect of sigma having glasses is so funny. phi should bully him for it. but it would be kind of cool also#even if his vision WAS shit in vlr which it likely could be over 45~ years it would make sense if him as zero sr put a contact in his intac#eye to prevent his younger self from Knowing too early. but also LOL#diana would rock them too i think. like it would be silly. but#MAN sigma having glasses is just. so funny to me#not what the post is about but i do also think it's funny that phi has glasses in ztd but not vlr. What happened. could she just not see#girl who has to squint really hard at the AB game results to read who allied and betrayed LMAOO#anywyas. i will stop rambling. but if anyone does end up drawing sigma in glasses or has any further commentary. i would Like to hear/see..#see. get it. like eyes. bc glasses. OKAY thats enough#zero escape#virtue's last reward#zero time dilemma#vlr#ztd#sigma klim#zero escape spoilers#vlr spoilers#ztd spoilers#just. tagging all of those just in case#trevor.txt
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