#Diana thinks it’s funny
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moonlightcycle571 · 3 months ago
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Arsenal discovers this. Arsenal should not have discovered this.
Now Captain Marvel and Arsenal and juggling their limbs. They play baseball, but the bat is Caps arm, and the ball is Arsenals arm.
During Halloween they do joint costume of Frankenstein’s monster, and litterally swap limbs. How they swapped two perfectly functioning legs as well as the arms is beyond everyone.
The trans community discovered this. Now trans men and trans women are pairing up to ask Cap to switch certain limbs. Cap says there’s an easier spell for that. They say how do you know that. Cap says he uses it on himself every now and then (he got trans and gender fluid champions in the past) (could also imply trans or fluid Billy Batson).
Cap becomes a gender icon. Cap destroys transphobia. World peace ensues.
It’s cannon. Trust.
Marvel Freaking People Out
Since Marvel isn’t human, he can do a lot of things a human can’t. As a result, Billy takes advantage of this anytime he can.
Gods: “CHUG CHUG CHUG”
Marvel: *consecutively chugging monster energy after monster energy*
Supes: “What is he doing…?”
Flash: “He told me the gods in his head are trying to see how many monster energies he can drink until his heart fails.”
Supes: “What?!” *sounds alarmed and starts counting the bunch of cans on the counter* “How many has he drank?! Why haven’t you stopped him?!”
Flash: *shrugs* “I didn’t even think he had a heart. Do you hear one?”
Supes: *tunes his hearing to hear his heart* “No???” *sounds horrified*
By the way, Billy thought all of them were tasty and that was the only reason he did it.
Batman and Marvel: *staring down at a henchman*
Marvel: “Hey, Mr. Batman, wanna see something cool?”
Batman: “Hn.” (translated: Go ahead. We already got the information anyways)
Marvel: *casts a little spell on the henchman and makes them hit themselves over and over* “Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.”
Batman: *stares for a little bit* “You can just do that?”
Marvel: *dissolves the spell* “Yeah?”
Batman: “How interesting.” *freaking out inside*
Bruce was thinking about how easy he could do that to Clark or literally anyone else.
Then there was the time he and got offended by another leaguer.
Marvel: *gasp* “How dare you!” *detaches his arm and smacks them with it*
Leaguer: *horrified he just took off his arm*
Speaking of detaching limbs, this man will let his hands run around like Frankie Stein from Monster High. He also bends his body in weird ways when Nightwing challenges him. He always wins because he doesn’t think Nightwing can bend backwards till the point it should realistically snap his back.
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Diana Wynne Jones wins big once again for understanding that the funniest way to write an isekai/portal fantasy is from the point of view of the people living in the fantasy world who look at the character who got isekai’d from our world and are like ‘WHAT is that guy’s deal???’
Howl/Howell stumbling back into his moving castle drunk after a night with his rugby bros is like the second funniest scene in that book, closely followed by poor Sophie getting reverse isekai’d and taking a day trip to Wales and suffering the terrible ordeal of a ride in a car.
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monkesupreme · 3 months ago
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Starving and wasting away etc etc
bonus:
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Hes tall and huge and HEAVY and he is so overly active that he has to maintain an insanely high caloric intake to make sure his body doesnt collapse from the strain of everything. He will eat virtually anything but he is spoiled from the best takeout Gotham has to offer: 11$ shrimp and broccoli from the chinese food spot that closes at 4am- among other things.
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dumbest-of-cunts · 1 year ago
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Charles getting cancer is actually comical to me.
Imagine the only purpose you have in this life, the only reason you were born is to be king. That’s it, that’s all you have. IS TO BE KING. You were told from childhood that you one day would rule England after your mother. So you wait and wait. You wait for 59 YEARS. Because your 96 year old mother hasn’t carked it yet. THEN she finally kicks the bucket, you’re finally king at 73 years old. Congratulations. Your life purpose has finally happened. But not even two years in ASS CANCER beats you. What a life huh?
It’s a our princess coming through for the win.
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cyanbeetle · 1 year ago
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My Wonder Woman and friends
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mamawasatesttube · 5 months ago
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i think cassie sandsmark should get into fullmetal alchemist and naruto and stuff because then she could literally have the power of gods and anime on her side. and post
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writeshite · 4 months ago
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Arthur Curry: "You seriously don't remember why you got turned into a statue?"
Reader: "No, I don't! But come on, what could I have possibly done that would justify--"
Reader: *flashbacks to riding Zeus like a bull, a murderous looking Hera looming overhead*
Reader: "....okay, maybe a little my fault--"
"A little?" Arthur raised his brow, curious to understand the circumstances.
"Ok, maybe a lot," you replied, remembering how greatly you enjoyed being flaunted around Olympus by Zeus; with no womb to plant his progeny, he could enjoy you without the threat of Hera killing you, or so he hoped. As did you.
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callonpeevesie · 8 months ago
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Howl would make callout posts about himself from fake accounts
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daydreamerwonderkid · 2 years ago
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I wanna write a oneshot where--the Batkids give their various reactions to Bruce fondly grumpily informing them that after 20+ years of "friendship," he's finally "considering" an official relationship with Clark and Diana and wants to know their opinions before committing--so fucking badly, but the only reaction my brain will focus on is Jason giving Bruce a dead-eyed look and saying:
"You don't deserve either of them."
Bruce--now nearly fluent in Jason-speak--takes that as him approving the relationship and promptly moves on to ask his other kids for their thoughts.
Alternatively, my brain also won't stop fixating on Jason going up to Diana and/or Clark later and saying:
"You can do better."
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lena-thinks-too-much · 9 days ago
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So I'm currently taking an intro to Criminal Justice class
Apparently the guy who invented the polygraph also invented Wonder woman?
You know. The woman with a lasso that forces you to tell the truth?
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liquidstar · 2 years ago
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support group for nerds who were rejected by their peers because of their hyper-energetic and reckless nature and, among other factors, this lead to a habit of escapism through fiction. only for them to eventually find themselves in a fantasy world, except that this world isn't anything like the story they envisioned. it's is far crueler and won't let them be the hero they always dreamed of, crushing their idealized fantasy. and because of shenanigans involving different forms of time travel they end up taking on massive burdens that weaken their mental state even further, and driving them into far worse depression than their former happy-go-lucky selves (even if part of that was a facade). this compounded with the guilt of leaving their parents behind, and the idea that they hurt all the friends they made along the way, they start to believe that the entire world would have been better off if they were never born to begin with. so they begin to feel that they can't be loved for who they really are, despite how much the people around them care. and at the end their arcs basically center around this idea of moving on from fantasy, growing up, and both understanding and being understood by others. and also have purple girlfriends with cats and a cute new non-human little sibling with parental abandonment issues
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springcatalyst · 2 months ago
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you totally should do an oc relationship web!! id love to see that i find your ocs fascinating :] also it's a good way to quickly introduce newcomers to oc dynamics hehe
hello. i am psychologically unwell and so i want to remind you that you ASKED for this
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if some of the text is too small to read IM SORRY. it should be ok if u click to see it bigger. i also had to design nadia for this and she actually turned out spot on. and i decided shes missing an arm
i am thinking of them all crazy style always. anyone wants me to elaborate shoot me an ask or a fuckin dm idc. i will always talk about my fucking guys <3
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britneyshakespeare · 2 months ago
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Should I ignore Man or should I hear him out
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littlesapphicraccoonguy · 4 months ago
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Adam tries to surprise Lawrence at work(GONE WRONG! NOT CLICKBAIT!!)
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cyanbeetle · 7 months ago
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I love Wonder Woman very much and I love her potential to explore themes of truth’s different meanings and violence against women and what it means for trauma to be passed on or processed in different circumstances but unfortunately all this potential is snubbed by her support of the military vis a vis her solider boyfriend and her origins as a character designed to encourage women to join the war effort. I think if you wanted to give her story real impact and meaning this would have to be completely removed and as such I long for a universe where Etta and the Holliday Girls are an internationally touring band and Steve is their loser friend who manages the finance and Diana follows them all around as the friend who can’t hold an apartment
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meowsticmarvels · 6 months ago
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reposting this from my twt bc its funny but olike. im still thinking about this. sigma with glasses could be real methinks... mostly because it would be really funny but also I Love giving characters stuff like that actually
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