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curlycow01 · 11 months ago

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Only you

Pairing: Winter Soldier x Reader

Summary: You and the Winter soldier escape hydra together, and feelings for each other are revealed along the way

Meanings: солдат - soldier

Series Masterlist

Read part 2 here

Out of all the test subjects Hydra gave the serum to, only you survive. You and Soldat were the perfect soldiers of Hydra, their greatest weapons. They brainwash you both, but they overdo yours, and break your mind, making you forget all the memories pre serum, the life you previously had.

Hydra sends you both on missions to assassinate high level targets and you both end up saving each other's lives a lot of times, creating this weird dynamic. Even through the fragments of your mind, you seek the Soldat's presence, his powerful stance and intimidating silence, drawing you to him as your only sense of comfort.

No matter how many times Hydra wipes his memories, his feelings for you don't go away. When he realizes he cares about you, he's determined to find a way to save you.

Decades pass and one day Soldat returns from a mission. Looks like he didn't complete it as his metal arm had sustained heavy internal damage. He seems a bit off as you observe him from a corner. Alexander Pierce enters the room and asks him for the mission report.

The soldat doesn't reply, lost in thought. Pierce hits him on the face, the sound echoing through the room. You feel a flash of anger. "The man on the bridge" he says quietly to pierce, his face having a genuine expression of curiosity. "Who was he?"

"You met him earlier this week on another assignment." Pierce answers. "I knew him" Soldst's voice had a hint of faraway recognition. Pierce is clearly not happy. "Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped the century, and I need you to do it one more time." he takes a small pause. "If you don't do your part I can't do mine, and Hydra can't give the world the freedom it deserves.

The Soldat's face was sad, he pressed his lips for a second before speaking in a defeated tone "But I knew him" Pierce sighs in frustration and gets up from the chair. He looks at him for a moment before turning to the scientists "Prep him" One of them spoke up "But he's been out of cryo freeze too long." "Then wipe him and start over" Pierce answers.

Your heart skips a beat as you hear those words. Pierce leaves. the scientist push Soldat back in the chair. Machines attach themselves onto his head, cackling with electricity.

You grip the railing tightly as his horrific screams echoed through the room, his naked chest heaving with heavy breathing. Guards come and escort you elsewhere, but his screams were still ringing through your ears.

Hours later

You opened your eyes and stepped out of the cryo freeze, to see the scientists panicking and few armed guards shuffling around uncomfortably.

The head Doctor spoke up "This doesn't change anything. We still have one supersoldier left. The Asset's failure, though frustrating, is not a complete disaster. Captain America is dead. The collision of the helicarriers killed both of them."

Your blood runs cold as the sentence sinks in. A small gasp escapes your lips at the fact that he's gone. He couldn't be, you didn't want to believe it. The Doctor notices your gasp and turns to you with a darkened expression. "Look at this" he says in a mocking tone "You've grown feelings for him, have you?" he scoffs " Having emotions makes you weak. We've lost the Soldat, but we can still use you, make you the next perfect soldier"

You're frozen in place as the Doctor reveals the truth. "Wipe her" he commands the guards in an emotionless voice. You're still rooted to the ground as the guards approach you. They roughly push you into the chair and lock restraints around your wrists.

Your heart is thundering in your chest as the electrocuting machines on either side of your head are switched on with a small hum of electricity. Adrenaline courses through your veins as the contraption starts coming close to you. You shut your eyes tightly, bracing for the pain.

You feel the cool metal closing around your head for a second, then a huge wave of blinding pain shoots through you, it's like the voltage of an electric chair dialed up to 11. Your cries of pain fall on deaf ears, and you barely survive the first wave. Tears streak down your cheeks as you waited for the second wave. But it never comes.

You slowly open your eyes, still blurry with tears. You can't hear much due to the ringing in your ears, but you can make out that the machine's stopped. A loud crash breaks through the ringing, and you try to blink away the tears to see what's going on.

You see the soldat plowing through the guards and the terrified scientists. The way he was landing his punches was in pure rage, nothing like you've ever seen him before. You try to move, but you were tightly bound by the restraints. Your breathing was still ragged, the first wave left you with little energy.

Gentle fingers brush against your cheek, you snap your head from the restraints to see your savior. "солдат?" your voice is low and hoarse as you gaze into his piercing blue eyes, which were laced with concern. "Bucky" he says as he starts freeing you from the restraints.

You try to stand, but your knees were wobbly, Bucky swiftly grabs your arm to steady you. His eyes scan you for any other injuries. "I should have gotten here sooner" he says grimly, his hand wrapped around yours protectively. "They said that you died" you say slowly, looking up at him "They said the crash killed you, but you survived. Why didn't you run?"

"I couldn't leave" Bucky answers, his gaze softening as he continues "Not without you. Not when you were still trapped." His metal arm reached up and brushed some hair that had fallen over your face, this action made your stomach flip. The atmosphere between you two changed.

"So, uh" you say awkwardly, breaking the silence "Where do we go now?" "I have a place in Romania. We should be safe there." He answers.

"Great" You're trying to sound like you're okay, even though you were anything but okay on the inside, all of these emotions swirling inside of you. He could never know you think he'll never feel the same

You started walking to the exit, but Bucky caught your arm. You turned to him "Aren't we leaving?" He took a deep breath before speaking "Before I killed the Doctor, he said that you had grown attached to me and" he paused for a moment and blinked slowly "that you had feelings for me"

Your breath slightly hitched as he finally learnt your secret. "He also tried to insult you, but I snapped his neck before he could finish the sentence" Bucky takes a step closer to you. "Is that true? That- that you have feelings for me?" he asks slowly. You only nodded, not knowing what to say.

"How long?" As you're thinking what to say, you suddenly realize that he's standing close to you, his lips only inches away. how you would love to- woah. Wait a minute. You snap out of your thoughts and rasp out "A while"

His flesh hand reached out and lightly traced your jaw with his fingers "Why didn't you say anything? he asks softly. You hesitated for a moment "I- I thought you didn't feel the same, because hydra removed emotions-" "Hydra couldn't take away this." He interrupted. His hand stilled and pulled away from your jaw. "They couldn't take you away from me. They didn't change the way I feel about you."

His metal arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Before you could realize what's happening. his lips were on yours. Your lips perfectly molded his, moving in sync. His other hand moved to the back of your head, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss.

His muscular frame covered you completely as his tongue brushed against your lip, silently asking for entry. You parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside. His tongue danced against yours as his hand moved through your hair.

You both pulled away after a few moments for air. Bucky's metal arm was tracing circles on your hip. "I'll never let them hurt you again" He whispers "I'll always keep you safe." He looks at you with utmost love and affection in his sky-blue eyes.

"Do you think we can make this work?" You whisper back, taking his hand in your own "The world won't accept this. They won't accept us. "Screw the world" Bucky replies firmly and squeezes your hand in reassurance "I don't care about the world, what they say or want, I don't." He intertwines his fingers with yours.

"I only care about you"

#winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #winter soldier fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic

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luigilore · 21 days ago

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scott street- l.m

It's been four years since you've last seen Luigi. You run into him and things have changed...

(a/n: huge thank you to this anon for changing lives with this idea! this is a part two to my fic lovefool <3 i wrote this in one sitting so... lmk if u want another happier ending lol... also ofc the title is from the phoebe bridgers song, 1.2k wc)

At first, you don't recognize him.

But it's hard not to. Luigi doesn't look that different. Older, more mature, hair a bit shorter and face a bit thinner— but he still looks like himself. He still looks like your Luigi.

You don't know what to do. It would be easiest to duck through the isles of the quaint bookstore you're in. A hole in the wall that you discovered with Luigi years ago. Strolling the streets hand and hand and wandering into different stores. You would spend hours here together, laughing at niche books you discovered together. He would always look at you with so much love that it was obvious and it almost embarrassed you, you knew he always loved when you let yourself have a break like this.

You always loved this bookstore— that’s why you’re here now; desperate for a reprieve from real life, from your sterile apartment and the infinite grind of rehearsals.

But this is no reprieve, Luigi is in front of you, years after you broke up for the final time, since the last time you've seen him; wearing a gold wedding band and gently bouncing a baby against his chest.

Even though you knew he was still in the city, you never expected to see Luigi again. You lived entirely different lives and that’s why it didn’t work in the first place. After months and months of letting him fuck you, hold you, even though you weren't together anymore, you knew you finally had to end whatever you had with Luigi.

It was eating away at you jeopardizing your career, hurting you. When you pushed him away for the last time, you always secretly hoped he would contact you somehow, show up at your apartment, and fight for your love and relationship like he always so fervently had. But Luigi respected your decision, your tear stained cheeks and heaving chest as you tell him We have to stop.

And so he does.

And you do too. You throw yourself back into ballet entirely and Luigi becomes a distant memory, something, someone, you felt lucky to experience but you knew you never truly deserved or could preserve.

Now, you internally debate speaking to him or pretending you didn't see him but Luigi makes the decision for you, meeting your eyes as recognition and love flashing across his face with a smile; calling your name in a way you haven't heard in years.

You're both not that much older now, not even four years had passed but it felt like an entirely different lifetime.

“Wow, it’s great to see you,” Luigi says with a smile and you try to find the right words and can’t. "You look great," he continues as his attention is drawn away from you to his child, gurgling and making Luigi smile and shift him in his strong arms.

"Who's this?" You ask weakly and he grins proudly, "Nicholas, he’s seven months.”

The baby looks like Luigi in a very unfair way, dark eyes and tufts of hair. Actually, the entire interaction feels unfair. You feel like you've had the wind knocked out of you. You try to smile at his baby's sweet laugh and chubby arm leaving his father's chest to reach out to you.

“We’re trying to read to him early,” Luigi explains, like he has to defend why he’s here of all places.

The offhanded mention of We, the implication of his wife, makes you swallow thickly and try to think of any excuse to get out of the conversation. It feels like every lingering doubt, every insecurity you've felt since you broke up for good, is bubbling to the surface in an overwhelming and consuming and devastating way.

"He's precious," you manage to get out, because it's true. "He looks like you," you finish, partly fishing for any small talk you can muster and also because Nicholas truly does. Luigi just smiles proudly, "Yeah, that’s what everyone says."

He asks how you’ve been and you feel embarrassed even though you can list accomplishment after accomplishment in your career. He asks about the current performance, and says he saw something about the Swan Lake show online. It makes you wonder if he ever thinks about you, if you ever randomly cross his mind.

You say you’re okay- because that’s the truth and he smiles a bit sadly and you both stand there a bit in silence. Like there's something to say but neither of you can quite grasp. You feel like an intruder, intruding on Luigi and his baby- his family. You wonder where his wife is, who she is.

“I’m glad you’re doing well, ___,” He says eventually. “Really.”

“Thanks,” you say meekly and feel entirely overwhelmed.

"Don't be a stranger," he says suddenly, breaking the thick the silence that seems to inherently envelope the two of you. You just smile and nod, knowing that neither of you actually expect to stay in touch. You only say goodbye and wonder if Luigi felt similarly affected.

You can't help but turn around one last time to watch him leave. But you only catch his eye again as he turns your way too. Luigi looks a bit embarrassed, like he was caught and turns away for the final time.

When you get back to your dark apartment, you can't find the energy to make dinner or even start the dishwasher. You dazedly curl into yourself in bed, thinking about what could have, should have, been. You never find yourself missing what you don't have but Luigi was always able to instill in you something you'd never felt before.

Maybe it's a bit self assured to think that if you hadn't finally cut him off, you would eventually have a family. Or maybe that was never possible between the two of you.

But then you think about the way you and Luigi would so often talk about children when you were together, filling your head with thoughts of an incredibly wholesome future together and making your heart unfairly twist in excitement and want. He’d always inevitably ask you in a quieter voice if you think he’d be a good dad. And you always told him yes between sweet kisses to his jaw.

You don't remember falling asleep and wake up to your daily 5 am alarm for rehearsal; still in your clothes from yesterday, mascara smeared underneath your eyes from silent tears. You wipe your face a bit roughly, staring at your tired, bleary eyes in the mirror and start getting ready for the day.

#luigi mangione x reader #luigi thoughts #luigi mangione fanfic

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loveemagicpeace · 6 months ago

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🦋Chiron & Healing🦋

Chiron in Aries-brings up themes around identity, self-worth, courage, and individuality. This placement often indicates a wound or challenge related to feeling fully confident in oneself, asserting one's needs, or establishing a sense of personal power. Chiron in Aries feel a deep-seated wound around self-worth. They may struggle with self-doubt, a sense of being "not enough," or even feel that they’re not worthy of love and success. U can havw fear of taking actions. A big part of the healing process is accepting and valuing yourself as you are. Instead of suppressing weaknesses or being overly critical, acknowledge your struggles with compassion.

Chiron in Taurus- brings up themes around security, self-worth, stability, and material abundance. This placement suggests a wound related to feeling safe, worthy, and comfortable in the physical and material world. U can feel an internal wound around self-worth, which may manifest as doubts about deserving love, success, or material comfort. There may be a fear of loss, abandonment, or scarcity that drives a need for constant reassurance or control over one’s environment. Taurus is very sensual, so healing can come through practices that ground you in your body, such as yoga, mindfulness, or spending time in nature.

Chiron in Gemini- with this placement may feel that they have struggled to be understood, heard, or able to express their thoughts clearly. They may carry insecurities around their intelligence, learning, or social interactions. Chiron here may create wounds in relationships or group dynamics. Those with this placement might feel socially awkward or self-conscious, finding it hard to connect with others comfortably. Recognizing that your words, thoughts, and ideas are valuable is central to healing.

Chiron in Cancer- is connected to wounds surrounding home, family, emotional security, and nurturing. Those with this placement may feel that they lack emotional safety or fear vulnerability in relationships, often due to experiences from early family dynamics. Chiron in Cancer often feel a deep need for emotional safety, yet they may fear that showing vulnerability will lead to rejection or hurt. People with this placement may feel that they’re not worthy of unconditional love and care. Chiron in Cancer often brings a feeling of “not belonging,” even with family or loved ones. Healing Chiron in Cancer is about learning to find emotional safety within yourself, creating nurturing environments, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with trusted others.

Chiron in Leo- is associated with wounds related to self-expression, creativity, recognition, and personal worth. Individuals with this placement often feel a deep sense of vulnerability around their ability to be seen, appreciated, or valued for who they truly are. This wound can stem from early experiences where they felt overshadowed, ignored, or made to feel unworthy of attention, often by authority figures or family. They may feel uncertain about expressing themselves creatively or worry that their gifts won’t be accepted. Allow yourself to express your true thoughts, feelings, and creativity, even if it feels vulnerable. A major part of healing for Chiron in Leo is learning that self-worth isn’t dependent on outside validation.

Chiron in Virgo- is associated with wounds related to perfectionism, self-criticism, and a sense of inadequacy in service or usefulness. People with this placement may have an inner wound tied to feeling "never good enough," often stemming from high standards placed on themselves or by others. Virgo is associated with being of service and helping others. Individuals with Chiron in Virgo may feel a profound sense of inadequacy or failure around their ability to help or make a difference. Sometimes, this placement manifests as a sensitivity or wound around physical health or body image. The lesson for Chiron in Virgo is learning to accept imperfection as a natural part of life. Healing involves releasing the need to be flawless and instead appreciating the beauty of growth and learning through mistakes.

Chiron in Libra- This placement often points to past or early-life experiences where there may have been rejection, betrayal, or challenges in forming harmonious connections. People with this placement often seek approval from others to feel worthy. Part of healing involves realizing that they are enough on their own. Learning to set healthy boundaries and recognize personal needs is essential for healing. This also allows for a healthier give-and-take in relationships. Healing can involve working through discomfort around conflict and allowing space for disagreements without it threatening their sense of peace or identity. Chiron in Libra individuals often have a strong ideal of what love and relationships “should” be, which can lead to disappointment. Chiron in Libra's ultimate lesson is that wholeness doesn’t come from external relationships but from within. By healing themselves, individuals with this placement can finally approach relationships from a place of harmony and mutual respect, finding joy in genuine connection.

Chiron in Scorpio-Those with this placement often experience a profound fear of betrayal or abandonment, which may lead them to struggle with vulnerability and opening up to others. Scorpio's energy is about facing the dark, hidden parts of ourselves, so Chiron in Scorpio individuals often deal with issues around power, sexuality, and emotional intensity. This wound can make them guarded in relationships and wary of opening up fully. Due to past experiences of betrayal or abandonment, they may have difficulty fully sharing themselves with others. These individuals might struggle with either taking too much control or feeling powerless. They might avoid situations where they feel vulnerable, or they may attempt to control others to prevent getting hurt. This wound can affect their sense of worth and comfort with their own sexuality. Healing involves recognizing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Learning to open up, even if it feels risky, allows them to experience true intimacy and trust in relationships. Part of healing is diving into the subconscious fears and traumas that keep them from embracing life fully. Therapy, journaling, or shadow work can help them bring these fears to the surface and release them.

Chiron in Sagittarius- People with this placement may struggle with feeling disconnected from their own ideals, doubting their life path, or feeling misunderstood in their quest for meaning. This wound often originates from experiences where they felt suppressed or invalidated for their worldview, whether in family, culture, or education. This can lead to self-doubt, making them hesitant to openly express their ideas or beliefs. This could show up in fears around being “tied down” or in a reluctance to commit fully to one path or belief system.Sometimes, they may swing to the opposite extreme and feel an intense need to prove their knowledge or beliefs. This can stem from a subconscious fear of being invalidated, and part of healing involves letting go of this need to be “right.” Part of healing involves learning to trust their own intuition and inner guidance without seeking constant external validation. They are often wiser than they realize, and trusting their own voice is key. Chiron in Sagittarius individuals heal by understanding that purpose is a feeling that comes from within.

Chiron in Aquarius-They may experience feelings of alienation, misunderstanding, or being “different” from others, especially in terms of their ideals or unique personality traits. Chiron in Aquarius individuals often have unconventional ideas or unique ways of seeing the world, which may have been criticized or misunderstood. This creates a wound around expressing their true selves, leading them to feel like they must hide their uniqueness to avoid judgment. They may feel like outsiders, struggling to find groups that truly resonate with them. They may feel deeply disturbed by social issues, but this can also trigger feelings of helplessness or guilt for not being able to “fix” these problems. Healing involves learning to love and embrace what makes them different. Rather than conforming to gain approval, they heal by understanding that their uniqueness is their gift to the world.

Chiron in Pisces- Those with this placement often experience deep emotional pain or feel connected to the suffering of others, which can lead to confusion about where their feelings end and others' feelings begin. This can make it difficult for them to feel grounded, especially if they don’t have strong boundaries. This placement may indicate early-life experiences where one’s faith or connection to a higher power was challenged. They may carry a deep sense of existential sadness or feel disconnected from the divine, leading to a sense of purposelessness. Because of their intense sensitivity, people with Chiron in Pisces may turn to escapist tendencies—whether through daydreaming, fantasy, or substance use—to avoid emotional pain. Healing involves learning to set boundaries while still remaining compassionate. This placement’s journey often involves distinguishing between their emotions and others’ and learning to say “no” without feeling guilty. Learning to see their sensitivity as a gift, rather than a burden, is an important step in healing. Once they accept their compassionate nature, they can use it to support others in a balanced, healthy way.

-Rebekah🧸🦋💫

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #planets #chiron

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justanotherabbystan · 19 days ago

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I want to clarify that this isn’t any criticism of Kaitlyn Dever, she’s a fantastic actress. My concerns are solely about the character of Abby in the TV show. I feel that her character has been misrepresented.

I have so much to express, and I’m not sure where to start. Abby was treated so unfairly; her character was grossly misrepresented in the TV show. Abby is the type of person who acts quietly, so her entire monologue felt unnecessary to me because the true Abby would never say such things. I can’t wrap my mind around her calling Joel handsome, what relevance does that have to the story? Part of me wonders if she said it to challenge our preconceived notions of what a killer looks like, as they can be ordinary and even attractive people. Still, it feels pointless to me.

The way she caressed his face was completely out of character. It’s hard to believe Abby would ever do something like that. What frustrates me the most is that TV show Abby didn’t convey the same deep remorse and confusion after killing Joel that she did in the game. In the game, you could see her internal conflict; she processed the weight of her actions and realised that killing him didn’t bring her the closure she had hoped for. It was clear that she felt confused and disheartened, questioning why this act didn’t make her feel better after all those years of believing it would.

See what I mean? In the game, she was clearly trying to process what she had just done, realising that this did not make her feel any better. Notice her internal conflict? There was none of that in the tv show.

In the show, Abby smiled a few times while interacting with Joel, which I found unsettling because I know that critics will take that opportunity to argue that she took pleasure in killing him, which is far from the truth. Although her smile was likely a mask for her pain, I fear it will be misinterpreted, suggesting she found joy in the act. I’m genuinely disappointed. Abby already faces so much unnecessary hate, and I worry that after episode 2, it will only escalate. When will they finally do justice to her character? Will she ever receive the recognition and respect she deserves?

“You stupid, old man. You don’t get to rush this.” I’m pleased that they kept that specific dialogue in the show true to the game though.

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jasmi-n · 7 months ago

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Pedestal Mentality

Taking Your Desires off the Pedestal

We often place our desires on a pedestal, treating them as if they're unreachable, as something beyond our grasp, something we desperately need to be happy. But we forget that it's the opposite. Your desires are part of you, not something separate or distant. They're possible and natural realities, just like the blue sky you see every day.

When you recognize that your desires are an extension of your own capability, you become the creator of your reality. This gives you a sense of control and power.

Put Yourself on the Pedestal

Putting yourself on the pedestal means recognizing your own value and power. It's an act of self-affirmation that allows you to see your qualities. It's a vital practice for building a healthy self-concept and ensuring that you don't depend on external validation.

So, rewrite your internal narrative: We often compare ourselves to others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. For example, instead of thinking, "But it's so hard for this to happen, it makes no sense," switch to "What I want wants me even more, effortlessly." It's just a shift in perspective, but it changes everything, trust me.

By taking your desires off the pedestal, you free yourself from the limitations imposed by idealization. This shift not only makes manifestation easier but also improves your quality of life because you become the architect of your reality. Adopt this mindset and start living more fully, allowing your desires to flow into your life.

Placing yourself on the pedestal and taking your desires off the pedestal are complementary practices. By recognizing your own power and seeing your desires as accessible, you create a space of self-confidence.

Affirmations that reflect the pedestal mindset:

"I am worthy of love and respect."

"What I want wants me even more."

"I have the power to shape my reality."

"I am unique and special, with talents that deserve recognition."

"I deserve to take care of myself and prioritize my needs."

"I attract people and experiences that value me."

"I am enough exactly as I am."

#affirm and persist #affirmations #manifesting #robotic affirming #neville goddard #loassumption #law of assumption #manifestationscience #subliminals #pedestalmentality

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memesmadefullmetal · 1 year ago

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In honour of International Women’s Day, vote for your fave down below! 💜

To commemorate International Women’s Day, we’re asking you to vote for your favourite! 💜

FMA has so many badass women — we really struggled to narrow it down to just 10! 💪🏻

You have ONE WEEK to vote! 🗳️

Don’t forget to send us propaganda for your fave or let us know who else deserves some recognition in the comments and tags!

- Mod Mustang & Mod Hawkeye 🔥🦅

#fma #fmab #fullmetal alchemist #metal meme #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #international women's day #riza hawkeye #winry rockbell #izumi curtis #chris mustang #mei chang #rebecca catalina #maria ross #fma lust #olivier armstrong #lan fan #fave female fma character poll #happy international women’s day

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chelseachilly · 1 year ago

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tired of loving from afar

pairing: mason mount x reader warnings: none, mostly fluff with a tiny bit of angst! word count: 5.3k

a/n: not me writing for someone other than ben lmao?? been really in my mase feels lately so here's a fluffy little long distance relationship fic (also was very happy to read this morning that he's likely going to be back after the international break! my heart has been hurting for him this season 🥺) have a great weekend loves 💓

Of the three years you’ve been with Mason, the past six months have been the hardest by far.

You’d overcome other hurdles in your relationship, like adjusting to the exposure and demanding schedule of a professional footballer, learning to cope with your life being somewhat public and thousands of girls being in love with your boyfriend. None of this was nearly as challenging as having to adjust to him living 200 miles away from you.

His move to Manchester was bittersweet - you were so proud of him for getting a spot at such a massive club and finally receiving the appreciation and recognition he deserves. You knew he was happy to have a fresh start and a chance to prove himself as a player.

At the same time, it was incredibly emotional for him to leave his boyhood club, his friends, his family, and you all at the same time. You would’ve given anything to go with him, even if it meant leaving your own friends and family in London, but you were about to start your final year of uni there. You couldn’t just pack up and go, no matter how much you wanted to do so.

You’re passionate about your studies, and you knew it would all be worth it when you graduate and get a job in your chosen field - and in the same city as the man you love. You knew it was only a year.

That didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.

You’ve both made a massive effort to see each other as much as humanly possible, going up to Manchester every time you have a break from classes or a weekend without an exam or assignment due. Mason has also come back to London any time he gets the chance, sometimes flying out just to see you for the day. You’ve been making it work, but it’s not nearly the same as living in the same house as him. Even when you were both super busy, you at least got to see each other when you woke up and before bed, and now all you have are texts and FaceTime calls.

On a night like tonight, when you’re exhausted from the week and you just want to be wrapped in his arms watching a film, FaceTime really feels like a poor replacement for the real thing.

“Hi, gorgeous,” Mason says, a sleepy smile on his face as he answers your call. “How was your day?”

“Hey, Mase,” you say, curling up with a blanket and admiring his face in the soft glow of his bedroom lamp. Judging by the fact that he’s in bed by quarter to nine, you figure he’s as worn out as you are. “It was okay, felt long. I finally turned in my essay, though.”

“Good work, babe, I’m sure you aced it like always.”

You blush a little, never growing tired of how he takes every opportunity to praise your intelligence. Any time someone asks about your studies, he does a full spiel about how smart you are.

“We’ll see,” you say. “How was your day, love? Any updates at physio?”

The way his smile instantly fades makes your heart drop to your stomach, fearing the worst.

“Yeah, um-it’s looking like a bit longer,” Mason says, and you can tell he’s trying to keep his voice steady so you don’t worry too much. “Maybe another few weeks. They’re not sure.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” you sigh. “I’m sorry. I know how frustrating this is.”

The hardest part about being away from Mason has unquestionably been watching him struggle from afar without being able to properly support him. From the rocky start to the season, to being out due to injuries basically ever since, it’s been torture not being there for him.

You went up straight away when he first injured his calf in November, needing to both emotionally and physically care for him, but you couldn’t stay long before your exams started. Since then, you’ve done your best to help from London - sending him care packages, calling him as much as your schedule allows, asking Luke and Anouska to keep an eye on him and let you know how he’s holding up.

In moments like these, though, what you really need is to hug him and tell him everything is going to be alright.

“Yeah, it’s a bit tough,” Mason admits, fiddling with his hoodie string. “But at least I’m back in partial training, it could be worse. I could’ve done my ACL or something, you know? I’ve been pretty lucky in my career so far.”

One of the many things you love about him is his infectious optimism, how he always sees the best in situations and in people.

Right now, though, you’re not sure you fully believe the words leaving his mouth. He looks so disheartened and downtrodden.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” you ask, frowning. “I know it’s not the news you’re expecting, you’re allowed to be disappointed.”

“I’ll be fine, angel, don’t worry about me,” Mason reassures you. “Just missing you a little extra today.”

“Me too,” you murmur, touching the screen and wishing it were his face. “I’m sorry I can’t make it up this weekend, but this group assignment-“

“Don’t apologize, baby, I know how busy you are this term,” Mason cuts you off, just as he always does when you try to apologize for being so far away.

You do the same to him when he tries to say he’s sorry for uprooting your life together, for not being there when you’re stressed about school or just having a bad day. Truthfully, neither of you are at fault, it’s just life. But it still sucks sometimes.

“We’ll see each other in a few weeks when I have my reading break,” you remind him. “Just a while longer.”

“I know, I’m counting down the minutes,” Mason smiles.

You talk for a little while longer before you reluctantly have to go so you can get ready for bed, and you promise to call him again tomorrow night.

The sad look on his face when you say goodnight lingers in your mind as you shower and do your skincare routine, and by the time you climb into bed, you’ve made a decision.

First, you message your group for the assignment you’re working on and ask if you can push your planned meeting to Monday rather than Saturday. Next, you text Luke and ask him to make sure Mason doesn’t have plans tomorrow night.

Lastly, you book a train to Manchester, because you’ll be damned if you don’t go cheer up your man when he needs you.

The moment you arrive at the train station in Manchester the next day, you hop in an Uber and make your way straight to Mason’s.

You know that he’s still at training and will be for at least another hour or so, as you’ve been texting Luke for updates so Mason doesn’t get suspicious. It’s not unusual for you to ask how his day is going, but you don’t typically ask for the exact time he plans on leaving Carrington or instruct him to go straight home after training.

Using the key that Mason gave you when he moved in, insisting that it was still your home even if you don’t live there the majority of the time, you let yourself into his house.

You drop your bags and immediately get to work on creating the perfect cozy, romantic Friday night in.

By the time you get the text from Luke that he’s on his way back with Mason, having devised a fake plan of coming over to play FIFA after training to ensure Mason didn’t make other plans, you’re just finishing up.

You’ve successfully transformed his house, which he bought furnished and has put very little effort into making homey, into a much more welcoming environment.

You ordered flowers for the kitchen table, as well as enough groceries to make dinner for him tonight and to replenish his far too empty fridge. You did a bit of tidying, deciding to do a few loads of laundry for him when you noticed there was quite a pile forming, and it must have been a week or so since the cleaning service he pays for came.

You put some soft music on his speakers and lit a few candles in the kitchen as well, popping a bottle of white wine into the fridge so it’s ready for your dinner.

You’ve just started chopping a few veggies to get a head start on dinner when you hear the sound of the front door opening followed by distant voices, one of which you immediately recognize as Mason.

“Do you hear that music?”

The sound of your boyfriend’s voice after weeks apart fills your stomach with butterflies - you’re just as giddy to see him as you were in your early days of dating.

“Probably the neighbours, mate,” Luke responds, still playing along with your ruse.

“I don’t think-“

Finally, the guys turn the corner into the kitchen, and you see Mason come into view with Luke trailing behind him. His eyes widen in surprise for a moment, slightly startled by there being someone in his house, and then he realizes it’s you and his mouth falls open in shock.

“Surprise,” you say shyly, while Mason is still at a loss for words.

He immediately drops his training bag to the floor and makes a beeline for you, pulling you into a tight hug and lifting you off your feet before you can even hug him back properly.

You relax into his arms right away, squeezing him just as tightly as he’s squeezing you and breathing in the familiar scent of his soap and aftershave, freshly showered after training. It’s the same scent that lingers on the t-shirts and hoodies that you steal from him every time you come up, wearing them until you regrettably have to put them through the wash.

“Baby,” Mason mumbles into your neck, pressing little kisses there. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I’m here,” you confirm, wrapping your legs around his waist as he refuses to set you down or let you go. “I missed you way too much to wait another three weeks.”

He pulls back far enough to capture your lips in a sweet kiss, his hands sliding down to your thighs to support your weight as you kiss him back. You can feel the pieces of your world shifting back into place, your heart settling in your chest as you sink into his warmth.

Mason presses a few more quick pecks to your lips before reluctantly setting you down, arms still wrapped around you. It’s only then that you realize Luke is still here, shuffling awkwardly in the corner.

“Thanks for your help, Luke,” you say with a shy smile, moving to Mason’s side.

“Of course, the man never shuts up about how much he misses you, so it’s really a favour for me as well,” Luke jokes. “I’ll leave you guys. Enjoy your evening.”

“Thanks, mate,” Mason says with an eye roll and a grin before turning his attention back to you, pressing kisses to your head.

“Night, Luke! Give my love to Anouska and the kids,” you call out, though you’ve also turned back to face Mason and bury your face in his chest.

You remain in each other’s arms, just holding one another and breathing in and out for a minute or two.

You knew you missed him, but you don’t think you realized quite how much until right now. It’s taken such a toll on both of you being apart for so long.

“How long are you staying?” Mason asks quietly, almost like he’s afraid of the answer, as he lightly rubs your lower back.

“Until Monday morning,” you say. You wish it were longer, but three nights together is the best you’ve gotten in a long time.

“Really?” Mason asks, pulling back and looking at you with bright eyes. “I thought you had to do your group assignment tomorrow?”

“I pushed it to Monday, I had to come see you after we spoke last night.”

You reach up to cup Mason’s face with one hand, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb. Judging by the way he’s avoiding eye contact with you, you know you were right to come. He’s obviously been struggling with the disappointment of the never-ending injuries, all the uncertainty it’s brought.

“I’m okay,” he says softly, turning his face to press a kiss to your palm. “Now that you’re here, everything’s okay.”

You melt at his gentle words, but they don’t do much to ease your worries about his emotional wellbeing.

Mason gives you a quick peck on the forehead before looking around the room, noticing the food you’re preparing and the cozy, romantic vibe you created for your evening.

“What’s all this?” he asks, a small smile on his face.

You’re not keen to drop the subject, but you don’t want to ruin your rare weekend together by bombarding him with questions either. You know he’ll talk about it when he’s ready.

“I just ordered some food for dinner and restocked your fridge a bit,” you explain. “I figured you would be happy to stay in tonight, so I got stuff to make your favourite pasta.”

Before he can respond, the dryer beeps, signalling that the load is done. He raises an eyebrow at you.

“Are you doing laundry?”

“I just threw a couple loads of your clothes in, I noticed you were running behind,” you shrug.

Mason looks at you with complete awe, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You didn’t have to do all this,” he says softly. “You being here is enough. It’s more than enough.”

You smile, wrapping your arms around his neck once more.

“I know, but I wanted tonight to be perfect and relaxing,” you explain, pecking his lips. “No stressing about football or school or anything else. Just you and me.”

“You’re amazing, Y/N,” Mason sighs, squeezing your waist. “Can I help you cook?”

“No, but you can pour us both a glass of wine from the bottle in the fridge and sit down and tell me about your day,” you smile, kissing him one more time before pulling away to return to your meal preparations.

Mason does as told, sneaking another few kisses when he brings you over your glass, then sitting at one of the stools at the kitchen island.

You treasure this domesticity more than almost anything with him - the simple act of chatting about your days while making dinner is something you’ve missed terribly.

When the pasta is ready, you dish it out into two bowls and bring them over to the table.

“God, I missed your cooking,” Mason grins as he dives into his portion, obviously starving after a day of training. “It’s delicious, babe.”

“Thanks, Mase,” you reply, pouring yourself a little bit more wine. “You want some more?”

“Might as well, it’s not like I’m playing tomorrow,” Mason says, the offhand comment hurting your heart much more than he intended.

He’s still smiling at you as you pour his drink, but you don’t believe for a second that it’s real.

“Do you want to go tomorrow?” you ask after a minute of silence while you both eat. “I know you usually go to the home games, right?”

Mason shrugs. “Yeah, we can if you want.”

Once again, you don’t press him further, listening as he changes the subject and starts updating you on Ben’s latest girl troubles.

After you’ve finished and cleaned up, you head into the living room to catch up on the new episodes of Drive to Survive. You always save your favourite shows for when you’re together, sometimes dodging spoilers for weeks just so you can enjoy it properly with Mason.

The moment you sit down on the couch, Mason pulls you into his arms for the first real cuddle you’ve had in weeks. You very contently lean into him, resting your head on his chest and humming in delight as Mason slides his hand under your hoodie and begins to gently stroke your lower back. It’s not with the intention of anything sexual, though you’re sure that will come later, it’s just an innate need to be as close to you as possible.

It’s the most relaxed you’ve felt since he left your flat in London three weeks ago, your body and mind decompressing with every moment spent in his arms.

A few hours pass, and you can feel yourself growing tired, but you’re enjoying Mason’s commentary on the Alpine rivalry far too much to interrupt and suggest you go to bed. Your yawns are betraying you, though, and Mason begins to gently run his hand through your hair.

“You ready for bed, sweetheart?” he asks softly, kissing your forehead.

“It’s so early,” you murmur as you glance at the time on your phone, barely past 9PM, yet you can’t contain another small yawn which makes Mason chuckle. “Sorry, I guess I’m tired out from the week.”

“No worries, we have the whole weekend,” Mason smiles. “Honestly, I’m a bit worn out too. Wanna go upstairs and I’ll get us some water?”

You nod as he stands and helps you to your feet, pressing one more gentle kiss to your forehead before heading into the kitchen. You make your way up the stairs to his bedroom and head into his ensuite bathroom.

It occurs to you as you’re flicking the light on that you forgot to grab your toiletry bag from your suitcase in his room, and you’re just about to turn back for it when something catches your eye. On one of the shelves above the toilet, there’s an array of products that wasn’t here last time you visited. More specifically, there’s a version of just about every hair and skincare product you use on a regular basis, and you really doubt that Mason has taken up doing hair treatments or using Drunk Elephant serums.

Maybe it shouldn’t mean as much to you as it does - he’s always been thoughtful, and you know the expense of buying all this is nothing to him - but for some reason, the simple gesture nearly brings you to tears.

Mason appears in the doorway a moment later, smiling softly at you.

“You okay, love?”

“When did you buy all this stuff?” you ask, gesturing to the shelf.

“Oh, uh, a couple days after the last time I came to London,” Mason says casually. “I took pictures of everything in your bathroom to make sure I got the right stuff, I just wanted to make it easier for you when you visit.”

As you look into his soft, sincere gaze, your love for him feels more overwhelming than ever.

Which means your guilt does, too.

“Mase, I’m so sorry I haven’t been up to visit more lately,” you say, your voice unsteady. “I know you’ve been struggling, and I know you’ve been keeping a lot of it from me because I’m busy with uni, but you’re my priority and I should’ve-“

“Hey,” Mason says gently, interrupting you with a hand reaching up to cup your cheek. “Don’t ever apologize for focusing on your studies. I know how hard you’ve been working, and I’m so proud of you. You don’t need to worry about me, I’m gonna be fine.”

“It’s not fine,” you shake your head, tears now streaming down your face. “You’ve always been there for me, and now you’re in a new city and a new club and you’ve been dealing with injuries and I’m all the way across the country.”

“Y/N, we knew this would be hard, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t,” Mason says, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. “But it’s not your fault I moved clubs while you still had a degree to finish, or that I’ve had a tough season. Some things are out of our control.”

You know he’s right, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Hearing his sad, defeated voice on the phone after a disappointing medical assessment or bad game and not being able to hold him has been one of the hardest things you’ve ever done.

“I just worry about you being here all alone,” you say quietly. “I know you have your teammates and you spend a lot of time with Luke, but in London you had me and all your friends and your family was closer and - I just hate that I’m not with you.”

“You’re here right now,” Mason says, pressing his forehead to yours for a moment. “You dropped everything to come see me today, babe. You have no idea how much that meant.”

“I would do it every weekend if I could.”

“I know,” he says with a sad smile. “And I would leave all of this and spend my time helping you study and supporting you if I could, but this is our reality for a little while longer, angel.”

You sigh, nodding in agreement and staring into his big brown eyes that bring you so much comfort.

“I’ve just missed you so much,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a tight hug.

His own arms circle your waist and tug you impossibly closer, his nose buried in your hair so he can breathe you in.

“I know, baby, I’ve missed you too,” he exhales. “So, so much.”

You hold him for a while longer, cherishing every brush of his hand against your back and every kiss he presses to your temple. You want to memorize the feeling of his touch, so when you’re back in your bed in London a few days from now you can close your eyes and try to imagine you’re still in his arms.

After a few minutes, you break apart to finish preparing for bed. You brush your teeth together then go through your skincare routine while Mason watches fondly, letting you put some moisturizer on him when you’re done with it. Then he strips down to just his boxers, teasing you lovingly when you obviously check him out, and passes you a comfy t-shirt from his drawer to change into. You make a mental note to fill up your suitcase with a few of his hoodies before you leave - the ones you have at home no longer smell like him.

You climb into the bed together, noticing that the side you usually sleep on has all of its pillows in place and that the nightstand is almost empty except for the glass of water he set down for you. Like he’s still been leaving that space for you even when you’re not there to fill it.

“C’mere,” Mason says immediately, tugging you into his chest.

You relax against him, laying your head over his heartbeat and tracing his tattoos with your finger.

“Will you tell me how you’ve really been feeling lately?” you ask in a gentle voice. He immediately tenses, and you know he still doesn’t want to discuss it, but you’re not leaving Manchester without talking to him about this. “I saw the look on your face when I asked about the game tomorrow, babe. Please just talk to me.”

“I don’t want to burden you with all this,” Mason says, refusing to meet your gaze. “I know how busy you are-“

“I told you, you’re my priority, Mase,” you insist. “And it’s actually more concerning when I don’t know what’s going on with you. If you talk to me, then maybe I can help.”

Mason sighs and moves into a more upright position, still holding your hand and playing with your fingers as a way of grounding himself as he gathers his thoughts.

“I just never thought it would be like this, you know?” he mutters. “I thought that coming here would solve everything I was going through at Chelsea, but in a lot of ways it’s been even harder.”

You nod for him to continue, gently squeezing his hand.

“I thought when all the contract stuff was resolved and I was at a new club everything would be fine, but then it’s just been constant injuries and trying to adjust to a whole new life without actually being able to do the thing I love most,” he goes on, making your heart splinter even more. “Fifty-five million pounds and I don’t have a single goal to show for it.”

“You can’t help that you’ve been injured, baby,” you say softly, though you know he already knows that. “If you were in top form, you’d be scoring goals all over the place. I know it.”

He smiles slightly, always grateful for your neverending confidence in him. You’ve been his biggest fan from the moment you met, cheering him on through every high and low of his career.

“Maybe, but I haven’t had the chance to try,” he mutters. “I’m just stuck here, being useless to the club and hours away from you. I basically upended our lives just to end up not playing for months.”

“Mase, if I’m not allowed to feel guilty for us being apart, neither are you,” you say firmly. “Coming to United was the right decision. It may not feel like it now, but I promise it will in the long run. And if not, we’ll find a new place for you to show everyone how amazing of a footballer you are. Even if it’s in a different city or another country, we’ll figure it out.”

“Babe, I feel bad enough that you’re moving away from London to be here next year, I’m not gonna ask you to move again,” Mason says, still fiddling with your fingers. “I have to make it work here.”

“And I’m sure you will as soon as you’re better,” you tell him, bringing your joined hands to your lips. “But if it ends up not being a good fit, I will happily follow you anywhere you want to go.”

“Even the States?” Mason jokes, making you roll your eyes and poke him the ribs. “It would be cool to play with Messi.”

“You are not going to the MLS any time soon,” you reprimand him. “But yes, I would go to Florida for you, babe. That is how much I love you.”

Mason laughs, moving your joined hands so it’s his turn to lay kisses on your knuckles.

“Wouldn’t be so bad. The weather’s good, and we could hang out with the Beckhams,” he says, smiling against your skin. “We could take our kids to the beach-“

“Oh, our kids, huh?” you remark, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, by the time I’m actually ready to play in the MLS…”

“Alright, we’ll move to Florida with our hypothetical children in ten years,” you say decisively. “Then you can retire and stay home with them while I work.”

“I could take them to Disney World every day,” Mason sighs happily. “Oh, and the Harry Potter thing! Our kids would love that.”

As much as you’re both joking, the thought of a time in the future when you’re settled with a family and not having to deal with all the separation and uncertainty makes your heart feel warm and fuzzy. You can’t wait to have a family with him someday.

“In all seriousness, babe, you’ve already accomplished so much in your career and I know you’re going to do so many more amazing things,” you tell him, reaching out to cup his cheek. “And even more importantly, you are such an incredible person off the pitch.“

Mason blushes, leaning into your palm and holding it to his face so you don’t withdraw your touch. You know he struggles to take compliments sometimes, but you also know that this is something he needs to hear.

“Which is why I refuse to listen to you call yourself useless when you do so much for your family, the community, for me - you make everything better, Mase,” you say softly. “That’s why are so loved. It’s why I fell in love with you, not because of your job.”

He takes a moment to soak up what you’re saying, still holding your hand to his face and pressing a few kisses to your palm.

“You mean you’re not in it for the money?” he says after a minute, eliciting an eye roll from you.

“It’s mostly for the money, but the abs don’t hurt either,” you tease, poking his stomach and making him laugh out loud for the first time in as long as you can remember.

Mason pulls you into his arms again, leaning back and tucking you into his chest so your nose is pressed to his neck. You give him another tight squeeze, unable to get enough of his cuddles.

“Thank you so much, baby,” he mumbles into your hair as he slowly rubs his hand over your back. “For coming and for making me talk about this stuff. You always know exactly what I need.”

“Of course, my love,” you murmur. “Just promise me you’ll keep talking to me, okay? I don’t care how busy I am, I want to know what’s going on with you.”

“I promise,” Mason swears, squeezing your hand that rests over his heart. “And the same goes for you. I know how stressful this term has been, but I’m always here even if I can’t physically be there to help.”

“I know you are,” you smile. “And I know you’re the reason Ben or Woody brought me dinner or care packages before every midterm. They wouldn’t admit it, but I suspected they were under orders to check in on me.”

Mason chuckles. “Yeah, well, gotta send in the subs when I can’t do it myself.”

You hug him even tighter, throwing a leg over his and letting him shift you back into a more comfortable position for sleep. You’re yawning again, the exhaustion finally catching up to you now that the worry gnawing at your mind over Mason has been relieved.

“So, for tomorrow,” you say, your voice lower now that you’re both getting sleepy. “I think we should go to the game with Luke and Anouska, she already texted me and asked us to come over for dinner afterward. That way you and Luke can show your faces at Old Trafford and we can spend some time with them and the kids. Then, you and I can come back home and have a bit of a romantic night in.”

Mason doesn’t respond right away, and you give him a moment before you look up at him to see if something’s wrong. But when you do, you see only an adoring gaze and gentle smile on his face.

“Is that plan good with you?” you ask, “we don’t have to do any of it, I just thought-“

“No, no, it sounds perfect,” Mason cuts you off. “You’re perfect. I was just thinking about how much I love you.”

Your heart melts even more for him, if that’s possible, and you can’t resist leaning in to press another lingering kiss to his lips.

“I love you too,” you say, pressing a few more kisses to his cheeks and nose for good measure. “Now, let’s get a good night’s sleep so I can show you how much I love you in the morning, yeah?”

Mason nods with childlike enthusiasm, making you giggle again as you lay your head back on his chest.

You can’t wait for the time to come that all of your nights end like this, curled up next to the love of your life, but for now, you’re grateful for this one.

No matter how many miles are between you, your heart is always gonna be wherever Mason is. He’s your home, whether you’re on opposite ends of the globe or in the same bed.

You sleep better than you have in months.

please leave me a comment if you enjoyed this or send me an ask just to chat, love hearing from all of you xx

#mason mount x reader #mason mount x y/n #mason mount imagine #mason mount #manchester united imagine #my fics

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