#Derek Morgan incorrect quotes
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ssawhatthehell · 4 months ago
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Penelope, gesturing to David Rossi: You are a dude
Penelope, referring to Derek Morgan: He. He is a MAN.
Penelope, pointing into the kitchen: THAT is a twink
Spencer, appearing from the kitchen: what’s a twink?
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patrickispinky · 1 year ago
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Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Emily: i'm the knife
Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon
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whoisspence · 11 months ago
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kidnapper: i have your child
hotch: which one i have five
kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up
hotch:
hotch: which one i have five
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scarlettjemily · 6 months ago
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The bau doing the trauma candy salad trend
JJ: hi i’m jj and i was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms
Emily: hi i’m emily and i was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms
Spencer: hi i’m spencer and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms
Hotch: hi i’m aaron and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms
Morgan: hi i’m derek and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms
Rossi: hi i’m david and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms
Garcia: hi i’m penelope and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms
Tara: … what the fuck
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sweatervest-obsessed · 5 months ago
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Y/n: see how Garcia brought the shots back to the table?
Prentiss: very thoughtful.
JJ: very demure.
Morgan: what the fuck—
*hotch arrives*
Garcia: see how Hotch was late?
Prentiss: not very mindful.
Reid: not demure.
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UNKNOWN NUMBER: We have your child.
HOTCH: Which one? Emily? Spencer? Derek? What are your demands?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: No, Jack. It’s the daycare. We’re closing soon. Please come get your son.
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ralvezfanatic · 1 year ago
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Y/N: I need someone to take me out already
Derek: Like on a date or with a sniper?
Y/N: Either works but at this point I rather a sniper
Hotch: Do I need to have you evaluated?
Elle, texting Penelope to ask how much a hitman costs:
Spencer, texting Penelope to ask her for tips on how to ask you out:
Penelope, very confused at the two types of text she got: ???
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annmaximoff18 · 5 months ago
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Spencer: did you know that pigs
Derek: no reid, no one wants to hear about pigs
Spencer: .....
Y/N: the pigs what?
Spencer: What?
Y/N: about the pigs, I want to listen to you
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lazyclumzycat-blog · 1 month ago
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lilliejareau · 28 days ago
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morgan: *accidentally hits reid in the face*
morgan: *trying to decide on ‘are you okay’ and ‘i’m fucking sorry’*
morgan: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
spencer, sobbing: WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!
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spencestiel-michelle · 9 months ago
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*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*
Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 
Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 
Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 
Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 
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starch1ldz · 10 months ago
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Y/n: no one actually thinks me and Spencer are dating.
Emily: Raise your hand if you think Spencer and Y/n are dating
The entire team including Spencer raising their hands.
Y/n: Spencer Walter Reid put your hand down.
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incorrect-ralvez · 9 months ago
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Derek, at Emily's funeral: I need a moment with her.
Everyone: Of course.
Derek, leaning over Emily′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Emily: No comment
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whoisspence · 5 months ago
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hotch: why is morgan crying in the corner?
prentiss: he did one of those "which bau profiler are you" quizzes
hotch: who did he get?
reid: ...me
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spncrluvr · 9 months ago
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Emily: roll your sleeves down
Spencer:
Emily:
Spencer: i-
Emily: you look like a slut
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criminalmindsfanantic · 2 months ago
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Rossi: The task was to “Steal the Most Impressive Thing Possible”
Penelope: Emily, what did you bring in?
Emily: I stole Hotch’s wife. Come on in Haley.
*Haley enters the room and gives Emily a hug*
Emily: We went on a date. We had a magical time. I stole her heart.
*Everyone laughs*
Emily: Do you find that amusing, Derek?
Derek: I think that’s impressive.
Emily: You know what else is impressive? I also stole your girl.
*Savannah enters and gives Emily a kiss on the cheek and everyone laughs again*
Emily: Will, were you laughing?
Will: No, I don’t laugh
Emily: Oh, okay. Well it’s probably good that you weren’t laughing because I also took your wife.
*JJ enters and kisses Emily on the lips*
Will: *shocked pikachu face*
Emily: Oh and I’m not actually giving her back, JJ’s mine now. You should have taken better care of her I guess 🤷‍♀️
Emily: Reid and Garcia, I didn’t have the heart to do that to you guys
Reid: I’d like to see you try to steal my non-existent girlfriend
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