#Derek Morgan incorrect quotes

[ssawhatthehell]

Penelope, gesturing to David Rossi: You are a dude

Penelope, referring to Derek Morgan: He. He is a MAN.

Penelope, pointing into the kitchen: THAT is a twink

Spencer, appearing from the kitchen: what’s a twink?

[patrickispinky]

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

[whoisspence]

kidnapper: i have your child

hotch: which one i have five

kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up

hotch:

hotch: which one i have five

[scarlettjemily]

The bau doing the trauma candy salad trend

JJ: hi i’m jj and i was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Emily: hi i’m emily and i was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Spencer: hi i’m spencer and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Hotch: hi i’m aaron and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Morgan: hi i’m derek and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Rossi: hi i’m david and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Garcia: hi i’m penelope and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Tara: … what the fuck

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Y/n: see how Garcia brought the shots back to the table?

Prentiss: very thoughtful.

JJ: very demure.

Morgan: what the fuck—

*hotch arrives*

Garcia: see how Hotch was late?

Prentiss: not very mindful.

Reid: not demure.

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

UNKNOWN NUMBER: We have your child.

HOTCH: Which one? Emily? Spencer? Derek? What are your demands?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: No, Jack. It’s the daycare. We’re closing soon. Please come get your son.

[annmaximoff18]

Spencer: did you know that pigs

Derek: no reid, no one wants to hear about pigs

Spencer: .....

Y/N: the pigs what?

Spencer: What?

Y/N: about the pigs, I want to listen to you

[spencestiel-michelle]

*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*

Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 

Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 

Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 

Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 

[starch1ldz]

Y/n: no one actually thinks me and Spencer are dating.

Emily: Raise your hand if you think Spencer and Y/n are dating

The entire team including Spencer raising their hands.

Y/n: Spencer Walter Reid put your hand down.

[incorrect-ralvez]

Derek, at Emily's funeral: I need a moment with her.

Everyone: Of course.

Derek, leaning over Emily′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Emily: No comment

[spncrluvr]

Emily: roll your sleeves down

Spencer:

Emily:

Spencer: i-

Emily: you look like a slut

[amybaulover]

Penelope: I sleep with a knife under my pillow

Derek: weak, I sleep with two.

JJ: you're both pathetic.

Derek: oh yeah? and what do you sleep with?

JJ: Emily.

[ralvezfanatic]

Y/N: I need someone to take me out already

Derek: Like on a date or with a sniper?

Y/N: Either works but at this point I rather a sniper

Hotch: Do I need to have you evaluated?

Elle, texting Penelope to ask how much a hitman costs:

Spencer, texting Penelope to ask her for tips on how to ask you out:

Penelope, very confused at the two types of text she got: ???

[whoisspence]

hotch: why is morgan crying in the corner?

prentiss: he did one of those "which bau profiler are you" quizzes

hotch: who did he get?

reid: ...me

[demonicbaby666]

Emily: [flips monopoly board over] Hotch: Prentiss! Emily: This is why your wife is dead Reid: Emily! Emily: This is why your girlfriend is dead Morgan: Emily: This is why you’re bald Morgan: I DIDNT SAY SHIT!

[youbutstupid]

Gideon: I’ve been unit chief

Hotch: so have I

Morgan: I’ve acted as unit chief

JJ: same here

Rossi: yeah same

Prentiss: I am currently unit chief

Reid: what, I’ve not been unit chief

The bureau: that’s because you’re the most unstable person we’ve ever met and you seem to have no respect for authority or the protocol but hide it under a meek demeanor

Reid: lmao fair