#Death Match: Mario Kart!

[unshackled-instinct]

@thekingofmuses

"Before I kill you, Kyo, you will experience the ultimate humiliation!"

[smoshyourheadin]

Can you do smut w Isaac where you guys are home alone in the house and idk getting at it ig🤷‍♀️ and then the rest of the guys get home and are scarred for the rest of their lives???

on our couch

pairing: isaacwhy x f!reader

a/n: FIRST SMUT FIC ALERT NEENOR NEENOR but fr i’m sorry if this sucks lmaooo // 18+ please thank youuuuu <3

warnings: smut!! oral sex, submissive reader, isaac is a meanie, orgasm denial/edging, praise, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it guys!!), general smut things, yumi is a negative nancy

what started as a friendly game of mario kart whilst the boys were out, very quickly devolved into an insult-throwing, competitive game of life and death. had isaac known you were so adept at the game maybe he would have prepared himself, or even suggested a completely different game.

"wow, what a bitch you are," he grumbled monotonously, gone past the point of anger as he watched another green shell appear on his screen and overturn his digital avatar. isaac pinched at the bridge of his nose with an exasperated huff, "this isn't even fun anymore, you're just being an annoying little fuckwit." throwing his controller down out of spite and onto the couch completely abandoning the match, he stood himself up with a groan. hastily pausing the match with an agape mouth, slightly disappointed that he didn't want to play all the way through, "come on, you still have a chance to win," you claimed as you stifled your laughter, trying to entice him to sit back down and be throttled with another shell you had loaded in your arsenal.

"no, i've had enough," the overgrown child retorted before sipping down the remnants of whatever flavour of gamersupps that had been sitting on the coffee table undisturbed for a few hours due to sheer concentration and determination to win a match on his behalf. letting out a displeased grumble, you turned off the game and relaxed back into the couch as he turned to look down at you with an aggravated still expression. "oh stop being such a sore loser," you scolded him with a raised eyebrow. admittedly his immature outbursts over the past few games had become grating as opposed to the amusing back-and-forth jabbing at each other that took place beforehand.

"i'm not being a sore loser, i just don't want to play with someone who is being such a fucking asshole." he stated adamantly, his anger refusing to settle and he refusing to admit that he was wrong, which was usually the case anyway.

"you're just being a whiny little bitch because you didn't get what you wanted," you admitted with a pause, "you just wanted to win so you could rub it in my face." in all honesty, you were really expecting him to retort back with another childish accusatory insult before he stormed off to calm himself down, but his expression remained and he stared vacantly at you as you could almost see the cogs turning inside of his head, and possibly cartoon-like steam expelling from his ears. "is that right?" he asked calmly, though you could still see his eyes burning with annoyance.

gently nodding your head with a simple hum, not knowing what you were getting yourself in for as he had never really had this demeanour before, but you had a feeling it was worth the risk. isaac silently mouthed the word wow, raising his eyebrows and emulating the shock and disapproval you were expecting but realistically he had you hook, line, and sinker. he wanted you to bite back.

hee lowered himself down onto the couch, his gaze shifting from your top to bottom as he took you all in. despite the silence, it was unbelievably tense in the room in the best way possible. the unpredictability of his next move was kind of pulse-raising, yet alluring. overstated, almost as if you were flirting with death.

his fingers ardently dug into the waistband of your pj pants as he tugged them fervently down past your knees, along with your underwear, past your ankles before aimlessly discarding them to the floor. a light shiver consumed your entire body as the cold air hit your bare skin. still, without saying an entire word, he sank himself fully. his large hands grasped eagerly at your thighs, pulling you effortlessly in one motion so you were as close as he needed you to be. isaac’s soft lips pressed against your pulsing clit, and as he did so you could feel his light stubble grazing the inside of your thighs. his tongue was gentle at first, his lips did most of the work. pursing his lips on your clit as he excitedly sucked and occasionally used his teeth to delicately brush against it.

isaac’s fingers would occasionally tighten around your thighs, his fingers and cold rings pressing into your tender skin only indicating his arousal. eventually, his tongue hesitantly caressed your sensitive node, making laps around it before skimming it once more. satisfied hums left your mouth, hands buried in his long brown curls. you could feel him smile as he spurted out his hot breath amused by his actions and how you were now like putty in his hands. he continued to suck and lick as if he was parched and on the brink of death. his eyes would remain shut but he would periodically look up at you to see your flushed face, tightly shut eyes and pursed lips. you were only getting more vocal by the minute as he continued to hit all the right spots before abruptly pulling away without warning. lustfully, he licked his lips and revelled in the contorted expression you attempted to conceal.

"fuck, m’close," you uttered as you attempted to regulate your breathing. isaac nodded proudly with a wicked and playful smile, "yeah i know," he added cockily. his hands caressed your legs and everywhere but where you wanted him to be touching; tingles shooting through every part of your nervous system as his gentle fingertips glided against your skin. "please," you weakly attempted to beg for him which you only knew was going to fail. and you were right.

"no, i’m not going to let you cum," he continued to smile devilishly, "you are however going to be a good little girl and shut up, and take my cock." doe-eyed, you obediently nodded as he began to undress. impatiently, he removed his top half and neglected it just as quickly as he did with your sweatpants. isaac’s erection wasn't concealed very well; the grey sweatpants only amplified its outline and whenever he would move you could see it slightly move beneath the fabric as you now realise he wasn't wearing any underwear. he noticed that you were looking and only wanted to tease you further. grabbing his stiff cock over his shorts, he began to rub it up and down leisurely so you could get a clear visualisation of his entire length.

swiftly pulling down his sweatpants, his erection bounced up and tapped up against his abdomen before bobbing for a short amount of time. using his hand, he caressed his cock again, using his thumb to wipe the pre-cum that was beginning to dribble from his tip. “now come and put your whore mouth to good use,” he demanded, continuing to massage his length.

adjusting yourself with your knees on the floor and his lap in front of you, his cock twitched as you held it up to your face - its span was almost equal the size of your head. looking down at you through his brows, his eyes burned with desire. he couldn’t wait to hear you choking on his cock.

wrapping your lips over the tip, you grabbed his shaft. delicate kisses and timid licks to ease him into it. lowering your mouth onto his hard dick, you let your tongue do most of the work, hands gripping onto his muscular thighs

isaac used one hand to twirl your hair into his grasp and would occasionally push it down to hear you gag on his cock. “what a good little slut, taking it all just like i asked,” he cooed. continuing to let out low and breathy groans, you came up to give your jaw a bit of a break. a string of saliva attached the head of his cock to your pursed and drenched lips.

after giving you a few generous seconds to recompose yourself, isaac pushed your head down onto his cock once more, thrusting his length into your mouth as he facefucked you. the occasional gag would cause him to let out a more satisfied groan. “mmhmm, i just love using your mouth baby,” he lulled, pulling your head back to look at your face. now, his face was more of a crimson tinge than it was prior, his hair sodden with sweat and his intense lustrous stare more piercing than before.

isaac stood himself up and bent you over the arm of the couch, slapping his now very erect cock on your ass. his hands couldn’t get enough of your curves as he squeezed and grasped your hips and waist. “behave and don’t make a noise, otherwise i’m going to stop,” he demanded, “and i know how much you want me inside of you so i suggest you listen,” he continued, peering down at your entrance which was practically dripping at this point. he used one hand to grasp your waist and the other to aid him in guiding himself towards your entrance.

he wasn’t being gentle this time, he drove himself inside of you knowing you were bound to squeal or make any sort of noise but your hand was firmly placed over your mouth which managed to mute most of it, he would give you the benefit of the doubt this time. “you’re such a good little slut letting me use you like a toy,” he murmured, continuing to go deep at a slow pace. he was cupping your ass in his hands as he watched himself slide inside you, cock glistening with your wetness. gaining speed and momentum, he was only making it harder for you to contain your moans.

slipping up as you were getting closer to your climax, you let an audible whimper leave your mouth before isaac tutted and retracted his length from you. “i thought i told you to behave, hmm?” he murmured. a long chain of apologies left your lips before you pleaded and begged for him to let you cum all over his shaft and how much you wanted his cock inside of you.

“now who’s being the whiny little bitch who’s not getting what she wanted hmm?” he amusedly hummed to himself, stroking his cock as he pressed his tip up to your entrance, painfully teasing you. “does my little princess not like being edged?” he softly ribbed in your ear as he leaned over and rested his defined chest on your back, using one hand to snake up your shirt and play with your nipples.

“if you apologise for earlier i’ll reconsider letting you finish, you just have to be a good girl for me,” he offered, his hands groping at your chest before unhurriedly entering you as he couldn’t resist himself.

“m’sorry,” you managed to apologise breathily, “didn’t mean to misbehave,” you feel him squeeze your ass. “please let me cum for you isaac.”

he was now planting delicate kisses all along your neck, “i didn’t hear that baby can you say that again,” he whispered, his hot breath hitting the side of your face before presenting you with more tender kisses. isaac liked being dominant but at the same time he couldn’t keep up the persona because the moment you became a begging little mess, tears staining your face and utterly aching for him, he couldn’t help but cave in. he was a very soft and generous lover and pleasing you turned him on just as much, if not more than dominating you would.

“please,” you were practically whining at this point “i didn’t mean to misbehave, i know better, just fuckin’ fill me with your cock, need it s’bad,” you pleaded with him, eyes shut as you tried to relish the painfully slow strokes. “i know you are princess, i just wanted to hear you say it again,” he smirked, as he began to pick up the pace once more. your pleased moans were music to his ears as he grabbed your waist, thrusting himself as deeply as possible so he could hit your sweet spot, and only within a few minutes were you about to reach your climax again. “mhmm that’s it, cum for me baby, you’ve been a good girl you deserve it,” he affirmed you. tightening around his cock, your body rid itself of all tension and began to slump into the cushions of the couch, all energy drained.

not too long after could you feel him twitch, his grasp on your waist tightened and his momentum and speed erratic as breathy moans escaped his lips. there was a brief pause as you both regained your breath. you were still recovering from the intensity of the orgasm before you joked “you’re more than welcome to lose another game of mario kart whenever you want, holy fuck.”

just then, the front door creaked open. panic set in, but it was too late to re-dress yourself. the sound of voices echoed through the hallway, growing louder as the approached the living room.

the next moments were a blur. shocked gasps, muttered curses, and the sound of footsteps scrambling away filled the room. you and isaac froze, faces burning with embarrassment as the realization of what had just happened sunk in.

for a moment, silence hung in the air, thick and heavy. then, a voice broke through the tension, tinged with a mixture of horror and amusement.

"oh my god, dude! seriously? on our couch?" yumi yelled, covering his eyes.

you quickly grabbed whatever clothing you could find, hastily covering yourselves up as the guys' groans echoed through the house. isaac's face was a deep shade of red, but you couldn't help but giggle despite the situation.

"guess we gave them a show," he murmured, his eyes twinkling with a mix of embarrassment and amusement.

you nodded, still trying to catch you breath. "one they won't forget anytime soon."

as we finished getting dressed, we could hear the guys still talking about what they'd just witnessed, their voices carrying a mix of teasing and genuine shock. you exchanged a look, a silent agreement to never live this down, but also a shared understanding that, despite the embarrassment, it was a moment neither of you would trade for anything.

isaac smiled a bit as he walked you to the downstairs bathroom, hand on the small of your back. “let’s clean you up then princess.”

[intothedysphoria]

Carol making Steve a profile on a dating app was nothing new. What was new was her matching him up with a fucking werewolf.

After his last particularly nasty breakup, Steve had mostly thrown himself into eating an unhealthy amount of Lucky Charms, dancing to what Carol called her “music to slutdrop to” playlist and losing at Mario Kart. It wasn’t a particularly fulfilling lifestyle but it stopped Steve from lying on the floor and thinking about the inevitable death of the universe.

Carol was not having any of it.

Her, Steve’s other best friend Robin, and Robin’s girlfriend Heather had apparently signed him up to Tinder. And Grindr. And some fucking foot fetish website that Steve just knew was Heather’s revenge for that one time he broke her stiletto during drag brunch.

“Steve Harrington. 24. USA. Queer. Failing witch. Interested in anyone who will have me. And is compatible with a Taurus.”

The last bit was so incredibly rude. Steve absolutely had standards, he wasn’t even that into astrology and he was not a failing witch. He’d only set the kitchen on fire twice and both times were Eddie fucking Munson’s fault.

Scrolling through profiles, there were a lot of incredibly hot people who all seemed like total dicks. Or were showing their dick. Neither of which Steve particularly had time for.

The occasional genuinely kind looking people either never added him back or had already found their person. Damnit.

Steve changed his setting preferences to only show other supernatural beings. That showed a little more promise, even if all the vampires Steve talked to came across way strong. Committing to be turned in like two weeks was a strong nope.

There was one guy who matched Steve who genuinely made him stop in his tracks. His name was Billy and he was a werewolf. Steve would have added potential Calvin Klein model to that list.

Billy was wonderful. He lived on the west coast, had an extensive collection of 1930s fantasy novels and was the alpha of a small but strong pack. Steve gleaned all of this information from half an hour of scanning his profile.

Actually messaging was less easy, even with emotional support from WHAM. Apparently Steve had gained the ability to use magic at the expense of being able to turn on King Steve at seventeen.

Luckily, Billy messaged him first. Direct but not too forward. Seeming clearly interested but nothing so basic as to be a line. It was enchanting. Steve was absolutely hooked.

He was a surfer. Steve wasn’t so gifted at the art of staying upright even on a board that wasn’t moving but he was determined to learn.

For Billy.

Being in a coven, Steve had less time to spend glued to his phone than he would have liked. There was always a fire to put out in Hawkins. Eddie was the only vampire in a ten mile radius and seemed to delight in trolling middle aged evangelicals. Dustin’s powers were so unpredictable that Steve constantly found himself rebuilding their house. And that wasn’t even touching on the demon problem they’d had since that creep Brenner had opened a portal seven years ago.

It was tiring. Steve was always dragged into the centre of it. At least Billy seemed to understand. He told Steve that he’d spent the last three nights trying to get Max, his younger sister, to stop shifting in public. Which made Steve feel slightly better.

Billy would always compliment him. Telling him he was adorable, he looked fantastic, he was doing so well. Steve found himself and his fully off the leash praise kink falling fast.

At least he didn’t seem to be alone in that sentiment as Billy declared that he loved Steve after about three weeks then retracted it, embarrassed. Steve told him it was ok, he felt the same.

As their relationship got more serious and Steve felt they’d moved from just chatting to proper couple shit, the one question weighing on Steve’s mind was how in the fuck they were ever going to meet up.

Billy’s pack in California depended on him completely for stability. Steve’s coven in Hawkins was much the same. It felt like the universe was forcing them apart, which fucking sucked.

He wasn’t much of a long distance guy but he was willing to try.

He’d try anything for Billy.

In the end, the way they met was a complete coincidence.

Steve was visiting Lucas’s girlfriend, who yes lived in California, but California was absolutely massive. The statistics were not in Steve’s favour.

Yet, from the pictures Steve had seen this was Max. Without a shadow of a doubt.

And then there was Billy. Beautiful and spectacular Billy. Who dropped his coffee cup when Steve walked out.

Steve was pretty sure he accidentally wolfed out a little by mistake. It was adorable.

They shared a first kiss on the beach while the sunset. Not bad for an internet relationship between a werewolf and a witch.

[nvmadic]

SORE LOSER - SCHLATT

prompt: after losing a game of mario kart, schlatt wants to teach the reader a lesson. words: 2,223 warnings: explicit content / 18+ notes: f!reader

What started as a friendly game of Mario Kart, very quickly devolved into an insult-throwing, competitive game of life and death. Had Schlatt known you were so adept at the game maybe he would have prepared himself, or even suggested a completely different game.

"Wow, what a fucking bitch you are," He grumbled monotonously, gone past the point of anger as he watched another green shell appear on his screen and overturn his digital avatar. Schlatt pinched at the bridge of his nose with an exasperated huff, "this isn't even fun anymore, you're just being an annoying little fuckwit." Throwing his controller down out of spite and onto the couch completely abandoning the match, he stood himself up with a groan. Hastily pausing the match with an agape mouth, slightly disappointed that he didn't want to play all the way through, "come on, you still have a chance to win," you claimed as you stifled your laughter, trying to entice him to sit back down and be throttled with another shell you had loaded in your arsenal.

"No, I've had enough," The overgrown child retorted before sipping down the remnants of water that had been sitting on the coffee table undisturbed for a few hours due to sheer concentration and determination to win a match on his behalf. Letting out a displeased grumble, you turned off the game and relaxed back into the couch as he turned to look down at you with an aggravated still expression. "Oh stop being such a sore loser," you lambasted him with a raised eyebrow. Admittedly his immature outbursts over the past few games had become grating as opposed to the amusing back-and-forth jabbing at each other that took place beforehand.

"I'm not being a sore loser, I just don't want to play with someone who is being such a fuckin' asshole." He stated adamantly, his anger refusing to settle and he refusing to admit that he was wrong, which was usually the case anyway.

"You're just being a whiny little bitch because you didn't get what you wanted," you admitted with a pause, "you just wanted to win so you could rub it in my face." In all honesty, you were really expecting him to retort back with another childish accusatory insult before he stormed off to calm himself down, but his expression remained and he stared vacantly at you as you could almost see the cogs turning inside of his head, and possibly cartoon-like steam expelling from his ears. "Is that right?" He asked with equanimity, though you could still see his brown eyes burning with annoyance.

Unhurriedly nodding your head with a simple hum, not knowing what you were getting yourself in for as he had never really had this demeanour before, but you had a feeling it was worth the risk. Schlatt silently mouthed the word wow , raising his eyebrows and emulating the shock and disapproval you were expecting but realistically he had you hook, line, and sinker. He wanted you to bite back.

He lowered himself down onto the couch, his gaze shifting from your top to bottom as he took you all in. Despite the silence, it was unbelievably tense in the room in the best way possible. The unpredictability of his next move was kind of pulse-raising, yet alluring. Overstated, almost as if you were flirting with death.

His fingers ardently dug into the waistband of your sweatpants as he tugged them fervently down past your knees, along with your underwear, past your ankles before aimlessly discarding them to the floor. A light shiver consumes your entire body as the cold air hit your bare skin. Still, without saying an entire word, he sank himself fully. His large hands grasped eagerly at your thighs, pulling you effortlessly in one motion so you were as close as he needed you to be. Schlatt's soft lips pressed against your pulsing clit, and as he did so you could feel his facial hair grazing the inside of your thighs. His tongue was timorous at first, his lips did most of the work. Pursing his lips on your clit as he excitedly sucked and occasionally used his teeth to delicately brush against it.

Schlatt's fingers would occasionally tighten around your thighs, his fingers pressing into your tender skin only indicating his arousal. Eventually, his tongue hesitantly caressed your sensitive node, making laps around it before skimming it once more. Satisfied hums left your mouth, hands buried in his long brown curls. You could feel him smile as he spurted out his hot breath amused by his actions and how you were now like putty in his hands. He continued to suck and lick as if he was parched and on the brink of death. His eyes would remain shut but he would periodically look up at you to see your flushed face, tightly shut eyes and pursed lips. You were only getting more vocal by the minute as he continued to hit all the right spots before abruptly pulling away without warning. Lustfully, he licked his lips and revelled in the contorted expression you attempted to conceal.

"I'm really close," you uttered as you attempted to regulate your breathing. Schlatt nodded proudly with a wicked and playful smile, "yeah I know," he added cockily. His hands caressed your legs and everywhere but where you wanted him to be touching; tingles shooting through every part of your nervous system as his gentle fingertips glided against your skin. "Please," you weakly attempted to beg for him which you only knew was going to fail. And you were right.

"No, I'm not going to let you cum," he continued to smile devilishly, "you are however going to be a good little girl and shut up, and take my cock." Doe-eyed, you obediently nodded as he began to undress. Impatiently, he removed his top half and neglected it just as quickly as he did with your sweatpants. Schlatt's erection wasn't concealed very well; the grey cotton shorts only amplified its outline and whenever he would move you could see it slightly bounce beneath the fabric as you now realise he wasn't wearing any underwear. He noticed that you were looking and only wanted to tease you further. Grabbing his stiff cock over his shorts, he began to rub it up and down leisurely so you could get a clear visualisation of his entire length.

Swiftly pulling down his shorts, his erection bounced up and tapped up against his abdomen before bobbing for a short amount of time. Using his hand, he caressed his cock again, using his thumb to wipe the pre-cum that was beginning to dribble from his tip. “Now come and put your whore mouth to good use,” he demanded, continuing to massage his length.

Adjusting yourself with your knees on the floor and his lap in front of you, his cock twitched as you held it up to your face - its span was almost equal the size of your head. Looking down at you through his brows, his eyes burned with desire. He couldn’t wait to hear you choking on his cock.

Pursing your lips over the tip, you grabbed his shaft. Delicate kisses and timid licks to ease him into it. Your supple lips found their way to his balls, caressing them with your fingers and cupping them before gingerly sucking on his balls and boy did this drive him crazy. Schlatt’s head flung back out of pure pleasure and gagged on the pleasurable groan that tried to escape his throat. Lowering your mouth onto his hard shaft, you let your tongue do most of the work but still utilised both of your hands: one on his cock and the other caressing his balls.

Schlatt used one hand to twirl your hair into his grasp and would occasionally push it down to hear you gag on his cock. Going so far down you could feel his trimmed pubes tickle your nose as he shoved your head down. “What a good little slut, taking it all just like I asked,” he crooned. Continuing to let out low and breathy groans as you massaged his balls, you came up to give your jaw a bit of a break. A string of saliva attached the head of his cock to your pursed and drenched lips.

After giving you a few generous seconds to recompose yourself, Schlatt pushed your head down onto his cock once more, thrusting his length into your mouth as he facefucked you. The occasional gag would cause him to let out a more satisfied groan, the momentary tapping of his balls on your chin as he forced himself inside of you. “Mmhmm, I just love using your mouth,” he lulled, pulling your head back to look at your face. Now, his face was more of a crimson tinge than it was prior, his hair sodden with sweat and his intense lustrous stare more piercing than before.

Schlatt stood himself up and bent you over the arm of the couch, slapping his now very erect cock on your ass. His hands couldn’t get enough of your curves as he squeezed and grasped your hips and waist. “Behave and don’t make a noise, otherwise I’m going to stop,” he demanded, “and I know how much you want me inside of you so I suggest you listen,” he continued, peering down at your entrance which was practically dripping at this point. He used one hand to grasp your waist and the other to aid him in guiding himself towards your entrance.

He wasn’t being gentle this time, he drove himself inside of you knowing you were bound to squeal or make any sort of noise but your hand was firmly placed over your mouth which managed to mute most of it, he would give you the benefit of the doubt this time. “You’re such a good little slut letting me use you like a toy,” he murmured, continuing to go deep at a slow pace. He was cupping your ass in his hands as he watched himself slide inside you, his cock glistening with your wetness. Gaining speed and momentum, he was only making it harder for you to contain your moans.

Slipping up as you were getting closer to your climax, you let an audible whimper leave your mouth before Schlatt tutted and retracted his length from you. “I thought I told you to behave, hmm?” He murmured. A long chain of apologies left your lips before you pleaded and begged for him to let you cum all over his shaft and how much you wanted his cock inside of you.

“Now who’s being the whiny little bitch who’s not getting what she wanted hmm?” He amusedly hummed to himself, stroking his cock as he pressed his tip up to your entrance, painfully teasing you. “Does my little princess not like being edged?” He softly ribbed in your ear as he leaned over and rested his chest on your back, using one hand to snake up your shirt and play with your nipples.

“If you apologise for earlier I’ll reconsider letting you finish, you just have to be a good girl for me,” he offered, his hands groping at your chest before unhurriedly entering you as he couldn’t resist himself.

“I- I’m sorry,” you managed to apologise breathily, “I didn’t mean to misbehave please let me cum for you.”

He was now planting delicate kisses all along your neck, “I didn’t hear that baby can you say that again,” he whispered, his hot breath hitting the side of your face before presenting you with more tender kisses. Schlatt liked being dominant but at the same time he couldn’t keep up the persona because the moment you became a begging little mess, tears staining your face and utterly aching for him, he couldn’t help but cave in. He was a very soft and generous lover and pleasing you turned him on just as much, if not more than dominating you would.

“Please,” you were practically whining at this point “I didn’t mean to misbehave I know better, just fuckin’ fill me with your cock I need it,” you pleaded with him, eyes shut as you tried to relish the painfully slow strokes. “I know you are princess, I just wanted to hear you say it again,” he smirked, as he began to pick up the pace once more. Your pleased moans were music to his ears as he grabbed your waist, thrusting himself as deeply as possible so he could hit your sweet spot, and only within a few minutes were you about to reach your climax again. “Mhmm that’s it, cum for me baby, you’ve been a good girl you deserve it,” he affirmed you. Tightening around his cock, your body rid itself of all tension and began to slump into the cushions of the couch, all energy drained.

Not too long after could you feel him twitch, his grasp on your waist tightened and his momentum and speed erratic as breathy moans escaped his lips. There was a brief pause as you both regained your breath. You were still recovering from the intensity of the orgasm before you joked “you’re more than welcome to lose another game of Mario Kart whenever you want, holy fuck.”

link to the rest of my work [x]

[kedsandtubesocks]

Here are some Jack Daniels headcanons I have and I am shaking my fist at the sky because I never thought’d I’d get lassoed in by this cowboy yet HERE I AM!!!!

Also this is for Laura @lowlights for being the best/worst influence yeehaw ♡

I have a feeling he is a Scorpio - intense, loyal, literally can hold a grudge forever but also loves deeply

This man is a dork and I stand by that because yes he’s gorgeous and suave and yeah can take down a small army but the minute you answer a trivia question wrong about the empire strikes back he is correcting you, polite as ever because he’s an gentleman, but he still knows the right answer and even talks about how the scene where r2d2 is in the mud water was shot in George Lucas’ unfinished swimming pool

This makes sense when you see his rare and signed Han Solo vintage card in his home office

Also probably has a rare stamp collection he prides himself in and it’s adorable and you giggle so much because he is dorky and you are honored to see this side of him!!

Likes butter pecan ice cream because it’s a southern staple and his grandma loved it too so it reminds him of her

When he wanders away from you at the supermarket he comes back to your side and pretends he doesn’t know you, still tries to flirt with you and be playful while you are there smiling so big the entire time just trying to ask him what type of cereal he wants

Loves a good elegant wine dinner but when you decided to order in take out late one evening instead of going out Jack gets hit with those deep domestic feelings HARD

Once he comes to terms with his first wife’s death I like to believe he has this little dream where she kind of reassures him that their love is forever but he is allowed to heal and let love surround him again and it’s then that he really understands that yes she is and forever will be his first love but you are his forever love and after that he feels reborn

This is even more intensified when he stays over at your place and you have a self care night with relaxing face masks and your favorite treats and the minute you offer to put a face mask on him he’s done for, literally in the bathroom when you’re not looking he’s already browsing his phone for matching robes for you and him

Gets hooked into any series you are watching, he is immediately asking questions about who is who and very sincerely gasps when a big plot twist comes (also is an absolute sucker for a good rom com)

Has no ability to play any type of video game except Mario kart which he takes seriously too and he always picks Mario because “he’s a classic honey, can’t got wrong with a classic” and you joke about how boring that pick is until he kicks your ass on rainbow road

Loves to help people on airplanes move their luggage up into the overhead bins, he’s also that guy who can make conversation in line with almost anyone even at the DMV

You learn he almost domesticated a raccoon when he was a boy

Jack also loves a good museum date and can be super insightful but also a bit silly and he makes funny faces at paintings or statues to make you laugh

Big fan of 90’s country and specifically I see him as a Brooks & Dunn man cause he for SURE serenades you with their song ‘Brand New Man’ multiple times

also is probably a Willie Nelson fan and has a framed photo of when he met the country singer himself and Jack proudly tells the story of how they met any time someone comes over and the moment he decides he’s gonna marry you is when you jokingly prove you can repeat the story word for word

His dream is to one day meet Dolly Parton

LOVES to cuddle!!!

Loves dogs of course but when you care for a scared kitten you find under his truck on a rainy night Jack becomes a complete cat dad and even gets the cat a small little cowboy hat that makes him bust out laughing every time the cat wears it

Is a sucker for candles

Isn’t much of a beach guy but would sit in a lazy river for hours

Once you say yes to his proposal he carves your initials with his into a tree on his family’s property and on the day you get married of course shows it to you (you can’t help but cry of course and he does too)

He finds a left over empty bag or wrapper of your favorite snack in his suitcase when he’s on an away mission and calls you crying a bit drunk because he misses you and thinks you left that for him as a reminder that you’re always with him and you’re like ‘no baby that just means we need to clean our suitcases better’

Gets his wedding ring with your birthstone in it

[riiceghost]

um no one asked but here’s some Val hcs I have:

killjoy knits and crochets, I like to think she learned this from a coworker at kingdom cause I think she’s a very creative person but can’t take a break for the life of her so crocheting and knitting is her way to be like all technical and stuff but take a nice break bc those activities (CAN BE) very relaxing

Raze can cook an amazing meal! I think she’s great at cooking and makes these beautifully looking and tasting meal however I think she struggles with baking since with cooking she does what I call the Asian way of cook; she just goes with the vibes of the meal and gets the right ratios every time but baking is like a fine delicate art so like as much as she tries she just cannot bake.

Sova bakes like a fucking master this man will and can bake anything he’s like “oh you want this really intricate baked good? I gotchu” and makes it. like wtf

He’s also not a natural blonde he actually has black brownish hair (it’s either a brownish black or a very very dark brown that looks black sometimes) and on this note he helps all the agents dye their hair when asked like he normally helps jett but sometimes gekko is lazy and asks for help, neon asks for help with the underdye she has, sometimes he helps yoru and fade too!

Phoenix gifts people cologne and perfume I have no reasoning for this other than I think it’s funny but he means it very well and gets the most fitting scents for everyone

sage cannot keep a plant alive for the life of her. She tries to hard but they all keep on dying some how. she gets distraught about it because everyone assumes she can and gets her plants but she can’t.

Skye regularly holds wood carving lessons at the protocol, all agents have stopped by at least once and she keeps everyone’s first attempt. Breach, Gekko, Killjoy, Raze, and Omen are the most frequent.

Yoru is very good at styling hair and will always give a hand to his fellow agents if needed, albeit reluctantly and constantly complaining. Sage and Skye don’t hear his complaints though.

Astra is pretty much the protocols 2nd mother. As much as everyone jokes sage is the mom, Astra does her part in watching over everyone! She helps out with minimal tasks, offers help to everyone, checks up on people and makes sure they’re doing alright, yells at people to take breaks (cypher, killjoy, sage, brimstone), keeps up a positive and lovely atmosphere and keeps everyone in line when needed!

K/AYO holds a game night every thursday night for everyone! Usually board games, sometimes video games. He has written very specific rules including: no playing Mario kart, Uno, and sorry. Monopoly is fine as long as no one gets into a fight. (He def has more, but these are the ones in BOLD)

Sova, Skye, and breach go on morning jogs together regularly! Others are free to join them! Fade and Deadlock tend to join them every now and then.

Deadlock and Sova r very much sibling energy but on a more chill level.

Gekko’s crew helps around the base a BUNCH. Wingman helps sage a lot, dizzy helps in the kitchen, thrash helps at the range, and mosh is very much emotional support.

On that note Jett and Neon ask jokingly for a therapist to be hired, Brimstone actually considers it every time because some people here are concerning then turns it down due to it being a security hazard.

Brimstone has a little box for people to put requests into: these requests can be about anything. Raze has asked for a free for all or team death match style of paintball! Viper, kj, cypher, and breach always ask for more equipment. Some agents ask for hobby stuff, trips, or group bonding. He goes through them every week and if it’s urgent like fixing something, they normally tell him or sage straight up.

Everyone in the protocol don’t really talk about their past, like ever. However, if the moment is right, they’ll drop a bomb to make a story or lesson really stick. Sova dropped the fact he has 5 sisters when Jett and Phoenix got into a fight and he had to tell them to quit it or else he’d make them hand write apologies together and stick them into a shirt like his sisters did to him and his younger sister. silly stuff like that nothing serious yk.

Also on the note of Sova (can you tell hes on of my favs) I don’t think he HATES cypher, just dislikes the fact he’s so secretive yet will through out information about others. He feels as if it’s hypocritical and dislikes this. idk if I explained this very well and can go more into detail it’s kinda fun I like cyberowl a lot !!

Harbor also realllyyy likes pottery, he’s a historian yk and sees a bunch of artifacts and pots that are from decades ago. He’s learned how to replicate and learned how respective periods made their pots/anything else clay related!! he’s very much into historical accuracy of how artistic things are made (ie paintings, clothes, pottery, and more)

Im half awake so the harbor one is a little wild but yeah if u want more lmk I got plenty.

[mollyrolls]

okay more triple date game night headcanons bc im not well and this is my lifeline now. ft. @eggyrocks and @nectardaddy

☆ its drunk mario kart. at least to start, but this feels the most right.

☆ the mains: eggy- toad / iwa - mario dodger - peach / omi - shy guy molly - lakitu / keiji - waluigi (try hard)

☆ people do clown on keiji for picking waluigi but he just smiles and waits bc he knows what's gonna happen

☆ OH MY GOD KEIJI IS SUCH A LITTLE SHIT HE PICKS WALUIGI WITH THE WIGGLER CART JUST TO GET UNDER MY SKIN. it works

☆ we're def all drunk before we start playing. akaashi insists that we all do the random selection for the maps, but no one listens to him

☆ gotta be 200cc. frantic items. hard cpus. the more chaos the better and we all feed into it

☆ no matter what the race we're all going balls to the walls. death threats are flying, relationships being tested, 'suck my dick' most common phrase of the night

☆ the second rainbow road comes up though? its dead silent. you could hear a pin drop.

☆ if a red shell gets dropped on rainbow road? your bloodline is ended

☆ and then as soon as that match is over its back to depravity

☆ "i think we would all be screaming and yelling and trying to sabotage each other with red shells and blue bombs and akaashi would somehow always come in first" - eggy

☆ this is why he's all shitty at the start bc he knows that he can keep a level head and he'll always win.

☆ it is a personal attack on me molly

☆ once he keeps winning though he gets bored and starts intentionally fucking with me just to make me more mad. like he'll bump my shoulder to mess up a drift or just knock the controller out of my hands

☆ i hate him so much

☆ AND THAT IS ALSO WHERE THE OMI AND MOLLY BEEF STARTS.

☆ we hate each other for real. its tangible. he beats me in one race: "just get better" and i am climbing over everyone on the couch to strangle him.

☆ "omi is def the type to be so fucking passive aggressive even if he's dead last I'm so dead" - dodger

☆ "i can see omi getting hit with a blue shell (sent by molly) and getting knocked into last place and then he turns around and just starts going backwards out of spite"- eggy

☆ WHICH IS EVEN FUNNER BC I MAIN LAKITU

☆ so when he gets turned around by the cpu he sees me. haha!!! eat rocks loser

☆ meanwhile eggy and iwa are having their own little personal match going on

☆ they dont care abt winning over all, its 'im going to do everything in my power to beat YOU'

☆ no one else tries to get in with that, bc it would quickly become a 2 v 1 which is scary

☆ idk what dodgers doing tbh

☆ vibing i guess. laughing at me and omi

☆ we have to stop after like 2 hours because its just too much

☆ once the tv turns off we all sit there in silence like 'wtf just happened'

☆ game nights become a staple for us. monopoly is next week and i will have omis head on a platter

[girlymatsu]

Is Erina competitive? How chill would she be in a bowling tournament

ERINA IS COMPETITIVE like she doesn’t start off super competitive because she’s not super confident in any of her abilities, but she secretly really wants to win when she starts to play… when she’s losing she gets pouty and embarrassed and turns up the intensity in whatever game she plays!!

She literally malds in Mario kart so desperate to catch up when she’s in 8th place.. and is a dirty player in Mario party steals stars steals stars ⭐️ and when she ends up winning she’s all cheery happy yay this is so funs yatta!!

For bowling omg she would be soo excited to join a team for the cute matching outfits and team name <3 but she is Very bad at playing all sports.. she does the granny bowl with throwing the ball between her wide stance legs to avoid immediate gutter ball , but still gets it or gets very little pins… she is dramatic and would be like IM dragging down the team… someone has to take me out back and shoot me… boohoohoo.. <— treats as life or death situation that she is bad at things but it’s moe actually

[ragecndybars]

Keeping the sees train rolling; what kind of video games is each member's favorite you think?

ohohoho >:3 thank you for asking because i have Opinions on this matter

minato: hm once again a slight cop out answer because of the hermit social link, but i do think he's an MMO player. despite having fully convinced himself that he's antisocial, he in fact loves playing with other people, but like, for long periods of time not just in short online matches yknow? though he would run his party like he runs his team in tartarus and would probably scare off some players who are a little less intense than he is ahsflkjhsdf, but once he found his People they would love this funky little guy who treats the game like its a real life fight to the death

kotone: open world adventure games!! particularly the ones that have lots going on in their worlds, rather than just, yknow. large maps without much going on. i think she'd love running around just collecting sidequests and weird items and getting super attached to various unimportant side characters who have like 5 lines of dialogue total and 3 of them are just "howdy there", "what's up?" and "until next time."

yukari: i don't see her as one to sit down and play for a really long period of time or play religiously every day, so i think more ""casual"" games that she can play with friends are her faves. not just party games but games like minecraft that she can just hang out and mess around in with her buddies (disclaimer i havent played minecraft for more than like an hour sorry if its actually super hard and i just dont know)

junpei: i think he plays pretty widely but has a particular fondness for RPGs. he definitely likes a game that's not too hard or demanding, but makes him feel super cool and gives him a big dopamine hit. probably not a huge fan of most multiplayer games because he's a bit of a sore loser? but he likes super casual party-type games like mario kart and stuff bc its hard to get mad playing them.

akihiko: soulsborne-like games. i know many many games get compared to soulsborne games but what i mean here is: games with a very high skill ceiling that reward your practice and composure by making you feel like the bossest bitch alive when you finally succeed. i think he'd get really sucked into them. but i think he would prefer singleplayer games like dark souls over, say, fighting games

mitsuru: the game needs to have some kind of tangible measure of success because she is going to fucking Succeed in it. she is going to get One Million Billion points. she is going to rack up All The Gold. she is going to get Every Item. i actually think she likes "casual" style games like yukari does, but she does not play them in a casual manner At Fucking All. if she's playing minecraft she has fifty chests full of diamonds while everyone else is still building dirt houses

fuuka: rhythm game fan spotted. someone walks in while she's about to full combo a hard song on sadistic difficulty and she makes the absolute most angry sound anyone has ever heard her make (an insistent "SHHHH!") and then ten seconds later after she's won the song she doesn't even apologize, she was so in the zone she didn't even realize she was acting in a way that would usually mortify her. its the autism btw

aigis: i wanna say she likes visual novels and strategy games. i think she would be absolutely enraptured by a good enough visual novel (although she would be a bit perplexed by them at first), and a strategy game i think would tickle her brain in the right way to make her feel satisfied without becoming monotonous or a slog (which i think would be her experience with action games--they would be very rote and unfun to her because fighting is like Baked Into Her Code so they don't really feel like recreation).

ken: call of duty player. KIDDING i see him as a fan of older arcade style games. he probably unironically says he was born in the wrong generation bc he prefers galaga to cod or whatever. he likes games where you can rack up a big high score. kind of similar to mitsuru in that regard.

shinjiro: probably not a huge player but kotone introduces him to simulation games (farming sims and animal crossing in particular) and he gets obsessed with them. but he absolutely refuses to admit it to most people because he has a reputation to uphold dammit. the only people who get to know are the protags (they're nosy af), akihiko (also nosy and also they're kind of attached at the hip so it was inevitable), ken (shinji can't lie to him), and aigis (koromaru is a snitch)

[jullinh4x]

A Funny Halloween Night

The characters' names have been changed to match their costumes, also, enjoy!

It was a dark night, Cursed Ice Vampire and Chauncy Scissorhands were outside a house, trying to break down the door to steal Chao Witch and Cursed Elecman Afton's candies

"ELECMAN! CHAOQUITE! OPEN THE DOOR!"

"No, go steal candies somewhere else!"

"No! We're not leaving until you give us the candies!"

"Oh, but it won't happen!"

Cursed Elecman Afton approaches the door and then, using his socket, shocks Cursed Ice Vampire and Chauncy Scissorhands!

"Augh! That hurt!"

"Okay, you two! We're going to steal all candies from the convenience store"

Meanwhile, Cursed Hatsune Mini was talking to Spider Namamini about what they would do that night, even though they are both tiny

"Let's go see Hatsune Miku's show!"

"No, let's play tricks on others"

"Are you sure? We're too tiny to play tricks"

"Calm down, it won't be that difficult, I'll tell you..."

Spider Namamini whispers in Cursed Hatsune Mini's ear, who gives a mischievous smile

On the other hand, Colonel Kitty was with Sgt.Demon, Cursed Mega Mummy, Cursed Regonku Man and Scythe Reaper were in a room, watching trashy horror movies

"DM 001, why did you choose to see this?"

"Because trashy horror movies are the best"

"The worst part is that I can't disagree..."

They continue watching until the movie ends and Colonel Kitty recommends that everyone watch Sharknado

"Sharknado? It's a good choice, good actors, great special effects and a amazing narrative!"

"I agree, let's go watch it"

"Yes! Let's go!"

They start the movie, until Cursed Hypno Dalhia enters the room with Miss Brittany Angel, holding a bucket of popcorn and candies

"Oh, hello there, ladies, sit down, because the movie has started!"

"Oh, thank you for being so kind!"

Cursed Hypno Dalhia and Miss Brittany Angel came over and sat down, and watched the movie, but on the other hand...

Cursed Splash Alice, Cursed Bendy Man and Cursed Fire Boris played FNAF while they really just wanted to get Jumpscared

"Go on, Splash! Stay still"

"I'm trying, but I'm scared!"

"Miss, it's Halloween-"

Circle The Killer, Chain Fisher, Banshee Blady and Velive Mildenhall played Thriller in Just Dance

"VELIVE! Dance right! You're getting it all wrong!"

"I'm trying! This is hard!"

Akaza Blacky, Cursed NamaSans, Cursed Proto Tomoe and Shadow Zombie Wood played Super Mario Kart while eating popcorn and marshmallows

"Blacky! Stop throwing bananas at me!"

Zero (Rull) and Bess Skeleton played Roblox horror games while doing a challenge of "whoever died the most, lost!"

"Ahh!"

"I warned you, now you've earned another death point, hahah!"

"Of course, you are smart in practically everything"

A while later, everyone gathered (with the exception of Skeleton Bess, Zero and Miss Brittany Angel) in a cinema, since Cursed Hatsune Mini and Spider Namamini had invited everyone to see something "cool"

"Okay, you guys... Tell us what you want to show us"

"That's it! We want it now"

Spider Namamini chuckled and turned on the screen, where everyone witnessed the scariest scene of their entire lives

On screen, 3RR0R was in a pink lolita dress, having tea with Madoka Geishinx, Dino Pumpkin, Slender Oxnix and L. Flower the Explorer

(everybody):

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Everyone was terrified by what they saw, in complete shock and fear...

"AHHH!!! 3RROR IN A LOLITA DRESS HAVING TEA WITH THE MX'S!"

"What?! How dare you interfere with my tea party with my subjects?!"

"It wasn't even us!"

"So, who was...?!"

"It was us!"

Everyone looked at Cursed Hatsune Mini and Spider Namamini with anger

"I just don't kill you two because you're useful to DM 001 and DM 002..."

Spider Namamini and Cursed Hatsune Mini laughed a little, as did Madoka Geishinx

"You're lucky we're not in a bad mood, but it won't be like that again!"

Dino Pumpkin grumbled, and then the screen turned off, but before that, Cursed Mega Mummy and Cursed NamaSans scolded Spider Namamini and Cursed Hatsune Mini

But on the other hand, 3RR0R continued his tea party with MX's, while the others continued to have fun in A Funny Halloween Night!

[aidenpriceless]

What AIs would best suit Mario and Luigi

Greetings, anon. I am glad you asked, as being open to possibilities is perhaps the most important trait that a scientist must possess. While dogma looks to provide a certain stabilty, curiosity is what is more likely to lead to expansion. With that in mind, I thank you for your question, and now I am going to jump into it immediately.

I am assuming the AI sample you are referring to is the one assigned to the top group: Omega (rage), Eta (fear) , Iota (happiness) , Delta (logic) , Gamma (deceit) , Theta (trust) , Epsilon (memory) , and Sigma (ambition) - in order of leaderboard position. These are EIGHT (8) possible matches for each character.

We could also consider the eventuality of assigning Eta and Iota as a pair like we did for Agent Carolina, but given that neither Mario nor Luigi need a suit of armour to use their powers and enhancements this could be wasteful. Besides, Agent Carolina's situation was a…Particular one, without going into detail.

Let us set the bases for this experiment, first and foremost.

PRELIMINARY DATA

Mario:

Shows a positive and optimistic demeanour, often cheerful and playful.

Very attached to the value of fairness, shows kindness and courage, but sometimes can be overbearing, especially towards his younger twin brother Luigi.

Can be headstrong and cocky.

Is more impulsive than his brother and more prone to enter dangerous situations alone.

Good sportsmanship, compliments his opponents most of the time, although he has been observed reacting negatively in a few occasions. (ie wiping a tear in Mario Kart 64)

Interested in animals, including unusual ones.

Is musically inclined as listens to vastly different genres (classic opera and new-wave Europop) and plays multiple instruments: piano, guitar, synth, saxophone, trumpet and a few percussion instruments.

Dysfunctional when it comes to sexual matters, namely responding with stomping and murder, in that order, upon learning that Toad and Princess Peach have had oral sex. He is also seen urinating on Yoshi and farting towards his opponents to show confidence and dominance.

Fixation with food and smoking may hint an addictive personality, likely to cover up for the frustrations noted in the point above.

Despite these points, Mario is described to possess an indomitable will 'completely free of evil or temptation'.

Superhuman strength.

Superhuman durability and stamina, with the added ability to cheat death and respawn to return where he left.

Enhanced agility, capability to leap and jump, and overall speed.

Proficient with weapons.

Can drive karts and motorbikes.

Has pyrokinesis.

Can switch to 3D form for a limited time, although this will affect his health.

While in Dr Mario form (which can be found as both an alter ego and a separate character depending on installment), he is able to heal patients and defeat severe viruses.

He also happens to be a skilled plumber.

Luigi:

Luigi is often described as 'living in his brother's shadow' due to his more demure personality.

Timid and emotional, can be prone to over worrying and cowering. Despite this, he is described as 'Mario's fearless brother'. Mostly due to his ability to overcome his fears. Namely he has overcome his phasmophobia.

Is frequently overlooked and feels the weigh of it, sometimes showing signs of being tired of being 'the eternal understudy', feelings of unworthiness.

Displays childish behaviour during taunts and physical attacks.

Has been shown embelleshing stories about his adventures depicting himself as a more heroic, more corageous figure.

Clean and well groomed, he presents in a few occasion as a refined person, likely in order to make a good impression on others to obtain external validation, given that he is particularly sensitive to criticism.

Very vocal against animal cruelty.

Luigi thinks his brother his better than him and shows support and adoration rather than envy.

He is extremely cautious.

Has displayed clumsiness in that instance where he accidentally locked himself out of the air balloon.

Superhuman strength.

Superhuman durability and stamina.

Speed.

Can manipulate both fire and lightning.

Super Luigi form (through consumption of a Super Mushroom).

Can create a field of negative energy. This field can: put opponents to sleep, cause them to move in slow motion, and deal damage. It is fueled by his sadness for being in Mario's shadow, and it is activated through an exotic dance number.

He too, like Mario, has an indomitable will free of evil and temptation.

Can drive karts and motorbikes.

He too happens to be a skilled plumber.

CONSIDERATIONS

The key difference between these two characters, specifics aside, seems to be a lack of restraint in Mario as opposed to an excess of it in Luigi. An AI implant can easily influence these traits for the better or worse, but this leads us to the core question: what is the result we are after? What hypothesis are we aiming to verify in this setting?

Due to the fact that anon has not provided this key information, I am going to start speculating by considering multiple scenarios.

MARIO AND LUIGI WORKING TOGETHER, THE AI ENHANCE THE PERFORMANCE OF BOTH CHARACTERS

Delta's rationality is bound to keep Mario's poor impulse control in check, while Iota would boost Luigi's self esteem and all around happiness. While that would impair the usage of his Negative Energy field, he could rely on his other attacks and use them more efficiently, which would make up for this issue.

MARIO AND LUIGI WORKING TOGETHER, THE AI ENHANCE MARIO'S PERFORMANCE AND WORSEN LUIGI'S

Let's say Mario is assigned with Delta again, but Luigi is assigned with Theta this time. Theta represents trust and despite its enthusiasm, it has to be kept under careful observation as its behavioural patterns can be childish at times. For this reason, Luigi might be overly cautious about preserving Theta's emotional well being, to a perhaps exaggerated extent which will have him hold back as always while Mario is in a more stabilized position.

MARIO AND LUIGI WORKING TOGETHER, THE AI ENHANCE LUIGI'S PERFORMANCE AND WORSEN MARIO'S

Luigi, due to having self concept issues, might experience short term benefits from being able to deceive the enemy and give a desired impression through illusion of trickery. That being said, if we were to assign Gamma to it, we would have to take into account that Mario would have to be able to keep track of those schemes, which he will most definitely not do if Mario is paired with Omega which will intensify his aggression and poor impulse control.

MARIO AND LUIGI WORKING TOGETHER, THE AI WORSEN THE PERFORMANCE OF BOTH CHARACTERS

The answer to this one is very easy. Eta, which is associated with fear, will be assigned to Luigi. Theta, which is associated with trust, will be assigned to Mario instead, effectively boosting the quality of his big brother instinct. This will create an imbalance in terms of responsibility, forcing Mario to take care of Theta and also of his brother and his newly enhanced fear. Due to the fact that they love each other, the brothers will be easily locked in a codependent dynamic. This type of dynamic is one that, by nature, doesn't involve much open discussion, as both parts want to perpetuate the problem, and more importantly it will play on the fact that Mario has more of a harder shell in comparison to his brother and is less expressive in terms of fear as he is the stronger and braver of the two. If Mario were to get angry, Luigi would grow more fearful and he would try harder to overcompensate. This will lead to mistakes on both sides.

MARIO AND LUIGI BEING ENEMIES, THE AI ENHANCE THE PERFORMANCE OF BOTH CHARACTERS

If anon's aim was to pit Mario and Luigi against each other, it would be wise to give Sigma to Luigi. It would highly likely intensify the Negative Energy field as it is fueled by the sadness that Luigi feels for being in Mario's shadow, and of course a representation of ambition will ensure that there will be a constant supply Luigi's suffering on the matter. For Mario to be a worthy opponent, Gamma is a good choice. Now that the brothers are against each other, which they never have been, the dynamic spawns several unknowns which can be easily exploited through Gamma's cunning nature.

MARIO AND LUIGI BEING ENEMIES, THE AI ENHANCE MARIO'S PERFORMANCE AND WORSEN LUIGI'S

See for the scenario with the same conclusion and different premise, Delta and Theta would accentuate their already preexisting characteristics, further widening the gap in how they exploit their own potential.

MARIO AND LUIGI BEING ENEMIES, THE AI ENHANCE LUIGI'S PERFORMANCE AND WORSEN MARIO'S

This is what in the psychoanalysis field is commonly referred to as as a juicy scenario. The key point to focus on is, like in the Luigi gets Sigma scenario, making sure that Luigi's sadness about being overshadowed by his brother never ends. For this reason, we shall assign him with Omega, which is associated with rage. Anger and rage often function as cover up emotions, usually covering up for disgust (also known as 'the moral emotion') and pain, meaning they are often considered easier and more convenient to feel as opposed to the ones that are underlying. Hence this newfound aggression and strengthened Negative Energy Field are highly to win against a Mario who not only would naturally be surprised, concerned, and scared by this side of his brother that he had seen before, but is also paired with Eta that enhances this fear.

MARIO AND LUIGI BEING ENEMIES, THE AI WORSEN THE PERFORMANCE OF BOTH CHARACTERS

Epsilon is a fragment which needs further study and examination and, in my humble opinion, should not be assigned to anyone as it is…Malfunctioning, compared to other fragments. Hence its presence is almost guaranteed to worsen the host's emotional state without being able to compensate in any way in terms of physical ability. Therefore keeping the previous Eta and Mario match and have it confront a newly unstable Luigi who has been assigned with Epsilon seems to be the most suitable scenario for this outcome.

Thank you for asking, Anon, it is an honour for me to participate in these vital studies. If you or anyone else reading this post would like to comment or expand further, you are welcome to do so.

[love-lee107]

hero headcanons because i'm as normal about him as i am about spaceboy🫶🏾

°tall and flaunts it, he's proud of how much he grew ever since high school (probably 6'4")

°talented in almost every field but fitness, and works to make up for that by jogging every morning

°did concert band in high school, marching band was too busy to fit it in with his schedule, and he also couldn't play an instrument and march at the same time (probably the first to drop out of a parade)

°he could cover any instrument, but his favorites were french horn, trumpet, and clarinet

°thought about going for student council his freshman year of high school, but decided against it once mari died. he figured he wouldn't be in the right headspace (teehee) to represent his class once he was a senior

°relatively involved when it came to college activities, despite how taxing his classes are

°went to a couple college parties his freshman year, got wasted once or twice n never wanted to do it again (he's a lightweight)

°can't do horror- movies, games, BOOKS, even. you could try to drag him to a 1-star haunted house n he'd still cry abt it

°hates spiders but likes spiderman

°although a lot of the passion was lost after mari's death, he's still phenomenal at baking and cooking. he enjoys seeing the smiles he brings to people's faces.

°constant heartthrob, in high school he was, in college he is- since his academic achievements aren't unknown to the public; he's pretty popular

°would get you home on time, like right on the dot, to your house or to your dorm, whichever it is

°always asks if you need someone to walk home with or if you need a ride, he doesn't mind at all and refuses any gas money you try to give him

°fashion icon when he wants to be. he's definitely modeled before and is open to trying new styles, but leans more towards to preppy attire

°not too fond of video games, but he's a BEAST at smash bros and mario kart. he probably mains peach to match with mari when they'd play- she mained daisy, but thought sephiroth was cool too. mari was a natural.

°study dates. basic but they prove to be nice, even if your brain feels like it's gonna explode

°walks around campus usually work out too, he avoids taking you to one of the cafés..

°oh yeah he also works as a barista for when school is in but he also used to work at hobbeez

°thrill rides aren't his fav at amusement parks, but he's willing go on them. otherwise, he holds everyone's bags

°closed off when it came to romantic relationships in fear of "getting over" or replacing his love for mari. although she would want him to move forward head-on. for his sake.

°bakes you a birthday cake!! cooking and baking is a love language of his, but he doesn't mind buying you a gift or two

°usually buys you things that are catered to your interests, but not like the cringy $5 shirts on amazon (maybe a sticker bundle but that's AT MOST, he's trying🙏🏾)

that's all i got rn..

[dandelionsprout42]

Nintendo Switch hasn't used its touchscreen well enough

Sure it'd be impossible according to the laws of physics to get touch controls in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Fall Guys anytime soon. But what was stopping the various game studios from adding touch support to games like Captain Toad Treasure Tracker, Tetris 99, or Paper Mario Origami King?

The thing is, I've got a private secretary who is 49 by now, and she cannot comprehend such a concept as an "analogue stick" if it was a matter of life and death. So instead she plays abominations on her Android pad, like parking space puzzle things, and match-3 games, to my absolute horror.

Had Nintendo been extra serious in appealing to old people who just barely know what Instagram and routers are, touchscreen-only input for games would've been a lifesaver for them.

[birder-of-remnant]

RWBY VTuber Personalities

I heard that yang is going to be joining Ruby soon as a VTuber!!!! And suddenly, the world feels a bit brighter! But, I would like to imagine how other RWBY characters would be like if they began Vtubing.

Weiss: Complains about how childish video games are. Gets obsessively over-invested and restarts after every mistake.

Blake: Also complains about how they are a waste of time. Leaves after 10 minutes but just leaves the stream going (after depositing a shadowclone stand-in).

Yang: BONZAI!!!

Pyrhha: Has never played a video game before in her life. Smashes the Dark Souls II speedrun world record on her first try while apologizing to every monster.

Juane: Nervously tries to act cool, begins to freak out, and just starts talking in his ASMR voice because he has no idea what else to do.

Nora: BRING! IT! ONNNNNNNN! HIYYAAAAAAAA!!!

Ren: Politely says hello. Finishes the Stardew Valley stream without saying anything else. Politely says goodbye.

Cinder: Leads other players to their deaths to loot their bodies, abusively manipulates other players to turn on each other, somehow manages to burn down the villagers in Animal Crossing, and tricks Finland into delcaring war on the Island of Mauritius on livestream.

Neo: Ren + Cinder.

Neon Cat: Most annoying anime reviewer ever. And yet I would be surprisingly open to it.

Watts: Pretends to play a video game while actually hacking the computers of all his viewers (all three of them) and stealing their credit card numbers. Hacks the game to make his skills appear amazing and talks about his own achievements. Because, you know, his ego.

Fox: Literally fighting blind in Smash Bros yet manages to win every match while cracking jokes.

Coco: Queen of Sims. Supersonic princess of Mario Karts. Influencer paragon of VTubers. Scarlet's rival.

Scarlet: King of Sims. Supersonic prince of Sonic Racing. Influencer paragon of VTubers. Coco's rival.

Velvet: Best teammate ever.

Qrow: Worst teammate ever. Livestreams a DnD game. His companions only roll nat 1s. Qrow is abandoned and is yet somehow able to beat the campaign by himself while drunk.

Yatsu: Ren + Juane.

Sun: Abandons all of his teammates in the middle of a quest to go chase after something shiny. All of his teammates die.

Neptune: Acts cool except on water levels.

Ooblek: Speedruns games based on historical events while spouting off how they are all inaccurate.

Port: Somehow manages to make Monster Hunter boring (although truthfully, I don't like violent games like Monster Hunter).

Oscar: Awkward, yet deeply profound, commentaries on anime. Surprisingly knowledable about farming games.

Penny: Lovable goofball capable of breaking speed run records and everyone's hearts.

I realized while writing this that I based most of these on their earlier character traits. Probably because RWBY characters are easier to stereotype earlier in their stories before they gain complexity and development (an intentional decision by CRWBY and a reason why RWBY has such phenomenal character arcs). Idk, what do you all think?

[merpiko]

bmc mcga au!!

inspired by this pjo au i saw i propose the mcga au starting with how they all died

also heads up that i haven't read mcga in a few years so my details might be iffy lmk if there's anything wrong

no squip au + strangers au besides chloe and brooke

jeremy - tried to save someone from being mugged but died (his skinny ass can't do anything), the person they saved survives tho and is invited to his funeral

WEAPON: pocket knife

^ yes he has to die in the most pathetic way i think it's funny

michael - saved a little girl from a car about to run over her (drunk driver), was technically not supposed to end up in valhalla but had a "weapon" in his hoodie and ended up having to discuss it with the thanes, they gave up trying to negotiate with him after he beat them at mario kart

WEAPON: nerf gun (don't ask why it was in his hoodie im not so sure either but it's michael)

christine (ft actress!christine) - the theatre she was performing in caught on fire and she made sure everyone was safe and outside before burning to death inside the building

WEAPON: prop sword (do fake weapons count?)

rich - got into a street fight with a guy that coincidentally was not a good person, both of them ended up dying but rich was sent to valhalla for his deeds. explaining the weapon was awkward though, at least he's super strong. and probably a son of thor or smth ngl (idk the restrictions for demigods that well in mcga)

WEAPON: stop sign

jake - was substituting at a school to make ends meet after his parents took all the money after he turned 18, protected a group of students from a school shooter with his own (secret) weapon, was able to stall the shooter until the police came but died in the process

WEAPON: pistol

chloe & brooke - caught someone attempting to r/pe a child and were able to kill the person but at the cost of their own lives. the child grows up traumatized but grateful for the sacrifice chloe and brooke gave

WEAPONS: chloe - lipstick knife, brooke - comb knife (chloe wanted them to have matching self defense gear that looked functional and girly)

jenna (ft journalist!jenna) - worked in countries that censored media with death penalty, discovered that a tyrannical leader was going to launch a nuclear weapon to the united states and reported it to the world before being locked up and killed. she attempted to escape capture with her weapon but was unable to resist and flee quickly enough. after her death, the once dangerous country was liberated and the former dictator was assassinated

WEAPON: pen knife

most of these were impulsive ideas so they're probably ooc but yeah 🫡 also i didnt rlly have any weapon ideas for chloe and brooke so suggest better ones pls?? but i would love contributions to this

[xxghost-zombie-jesus]

A/N: I decided that I'll be doing prompt fills/writing requests in between my longer fics! If you have any prompts or requests you'd like to see, shoot me an ask with the prompt, character(s) and/or ship you'd like! They'll probably be between 3k-5k but with my track record, who knows.

Anyway, onto the fic!

Prompt: "What if Beej has a really bad nightmare (wake up in cold sweat, shaking, absolutely terrified kind of nightmare) and Lydia comforts him. Just some good old sibling hurt/comfort and fluff." Requester: attack_choppa01 on AO3 Warnings: nightmares, panic attacks, vomiting, the following within a nightmare: child abuse, child death, verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, Juno (she needs her own warning), violence Word Count: 7,563 Read on AO3

Friday nights were reserved for Lydia and Beetlejuice to hang out. Sure, they had the weekends where they went out and did stuff, and family movie night was Thursdays, and she sometimes snuck him into school, but Fridays were 'chill nights'. Nights where Lydia forewent doing her homework, and as soon as dinner was finished the two of them headed upstairs or claimed the living room for their own use until the wee hours of the night when one or both of them got too tired to continue.

This particular Friday they took the living room, a pile of snacks spread out across the coffee table. Charles and Delia had headed upstairs a few hours ago, the Maitlands before that, so the two of them basically had run of the house as long as they kept the noise to a dull roar. Currently Lydia was sprawled across the couch, Beetlejuice perched on the back like a cat, or perhaps a bird. Her Switch was plugged into the TV, and she was wiping the floor with Beej in Super Smash Bros.

"Come on, you're so bad at this," she heckled, hitting Beej's character off the map as he made a strangled noise of anger. He managed to double-jump back to safety only for her to hit him off again, this time he wasn't so lucky, and his character lost a life. "I thought demons were supposed to be good at everything. What happened, Mr. 'Ghost with the Most?' Lost your touch in your old age?"

"Shut up." She could feel his leg bouncing against the back of the couch, could hear him aggressively smashing buttons as he tried to no avail to gain the upperhand. Instead he dashed right off the edge and she hit him back when he tried to recover. "Goddamn it! If this was Mario Kart I'd be kicking your ass hardcore!" Lydia knew this was true, hence why they weren't currently playing it. He grit his teeth and leaned forward, nearly falling off his perch as he glared daggers at the screen.

And of course Lydia got her final smash and destroyed him. The match ended and he threw his hands in the air. "Fuck it, I'm done with this. Put a different game on." Lydia grinned meanly at him and started readying up another match, and he 'accidentally' dropped his controller onto her head. "Oops, my hands aren't working anymore," he deadpanned, holding out his arms which he spaghetti-fied, them hanging loosely in her face. "Can't play any more Smash, oh noooooo. Whatever shall we do?"

"Ew, get your noodle-ass arms out of my face, BJ," Lydia shoved them, and they swung limply. "Ugh, stop being a baby. Fine, what about Mario Party?" She hit the home button, blindly throwing the controller back at him. He hurriedly grabbed it out of the air to make sure it didn't fly across the room and ended up toppling backwards off the couch and landed on his head with a cartoonish bell noise. Lydia sat up to look at him, laughing so hard her face screwed up. "What the fuck happened to you, Beej?"

"Well," he grouched as he flopped over before sitting up. "You'd've ripped my balls off if I let the controller break." He said it matter-of-factly, giving her a dirty look and rubbing the top of his head despite the fall not hurting all that much, in reality. Lydia only continued to laugh at him. "I sacrificed myself to save you sixty bucks and you're laughing at me."

"You're so stupid. You could have just used your powers, or not fallen off the couch, or, and this is groundbreaking I know, not have dropped it on my head in the first place."

He mocked her, making a hand puppet and going "mleh mleh mleh mleh," in a high-pitched, whiny voice before he hopped over the back of the couch to sit properly. Lydia barely moved her legs out of the way before he sat on them, and she stretched back out and used him as a footrest. She just gave him a sweet smile when he turned a raised eyebrow in her direction, and he rolled his eyes and propped his own legs up on the table. 

The two end up gaming for a few more hours, working their way through the snacks–Beetlejuice, mostly–before Lydia's ass starts to hurt from the couch. They had just finished the level they were fucking around in, neither really taking it seriously any longer, and she quit the game. "What? Why'd you close it?" Beetlejuice asked her, tilting his head as she held her hand out for the controller. 

"I'm done, I got bored," she told him, shaking her hand for emphasis until Beej handed it over. She swung her legs off his lap and stood up, stretching and feeling her back crack. She attached the controllers back onto the Switch and grabbed it from where it was docked, before turning off the TV. 

"Aw come on, going to bed already? The night's still young," Beetle whined, flopping onto his side dramatically. He stared at her from the darkness that fell over the room, eyes glowing from the couch. He'd look scary if not for the fact he was practically giving her puppy-dog eyes. 

"I was going to go watch some true crime on my laptop, if you want to come. I'm gonna put on Nick Crowley," she offered, knowing he liked that particular Youtuber. He scrambled upwards and waved away their trash before falling in step–or, rather, started floating a step behind her. "Do you remember where we left off, BJ?"

"Uuuuh," Beetlejuice hummed, wracking his brain as he tried to remember. Oh, right! "Last one we watched was about the Dyatlov Pass." 

He followed Lydia into her room. He leapt onto the bed as she headed to her desk and exchanged the Switch for her laptop, grinning at her as she turned and stared at him. She shoved him out of her spot and opened her laptop. He peered over her shoulder to see if she had any tabs she forgot to close he could tease her about, but it was all school-related except Twitter and Tumblr. Weirdo, but not teasing-worthy. Boo.

She pulled up Youtube and quickly navigated to the correct channel, scrolling through the videos until they found where they had left off. Clicking the next video, something about Smiley Face killings. Lydia got under the covers, handing Beej the laptop to prop up on his legs. He did so only after wrapping himself in her black fuzzy blanket, not needing the heat but liking how it felt. He had a matching one in his room but he couldn't be bothered getting up to get it, nor teleporting it either. She let him borrow it, only saying she'd send him back to the Netherworld if it stank. 

They both fell quiet as he pressed play on the video, though they did pause it occasionally to talk about what was happening or crack a morbid, most definitely inappropriate joke. Three videos in, Beetlejuice felt the telltale tug of sleep trying to drag him under. He was comfy enough with the blanket around his shoulders and Lydia against his side that he didn't have the intense urge to fight it. He did half-heartedly attempt to stay awake, however. Lydia would fall asleep first, probably, and he could head onto the roof or his own room after that. 

Except she was as awake as possible and put on the next video when it took Beetlejuice too long to do so. She glanced up at him and saw him bite back a yawn before focusing on the screen. Heh, she should make a joke about him being tired. It's not like he did anything all day. She at least had an excuse to be tired. By the time she came up with a suitable quip, which took less than a minute, and paused the video, he had his head slumped forward, eyes shut and mouth parted slightly. 

She was lucky he didn't snore, or, thank Christ, drool. She elbowed him and he jerked awake, glaring at her. "Aww, is the baby tired? Is it beddy bye for the big bad demon?" She cooed at him, laying the baby-talk on thick. 

"I'm awake," he grumbled, leaning back and crossing his arms. He stared pointedly at the video, before conjuring a third arm to flick her ear when she didn't unpause it. "C'mon I ain't getting any deadder here, Witchy."

"Are you sure you can stay awake? You look reeaal tired there, Beebleboose." He flicked her again and she snickered. 

"I'm fine, put on the damn video before I eat your laptop," he threatened, and she slapped his arm before leaning forward to unpause it. He got through the rest of the video and lasted a whole 4 minutes of the next video before his head tipped backwards and he was out again, arms still crossed. 

She'd finish the video and then kick him out, she supposed. Except she didn't make it through, either, eyes drooping before she, too, fell asleep. Her head hit his chest, the video droning on, unaware and forgotten, in the background.

- - - -

When he woke up, the room was dark, the laptop nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Lydia had grabbed it when he had fallen asleep to make sure it didn't fall to the ground? Yeah, that made sense. Beetlejuice blinked and rubbed his eyes, wondering why it was so dark, he could usually see pretty damn well in the dark, almost perfectly, in fact. Whatever, probably a side-effect of his half-awake state. He stood up and headed towards the door, intent on heading to his own room or something, but paused when he heard voices coming from downstairs. 

Well, he couldn't ever pass up eavesdropping! He quietly made his way down the steps, avoiding the one that always creaked when stepped on, and hid just above the landing, peeking out to see who was talking. He didn't see anything, not at first, and he frowned. He could have sworn that there had been voices–

Lydia yelled from the kitchen and Beetlejuice didn't think before he was leaping down the stairs and charging towards where he had heard her yell. She yelled again, "No! Stop, why are you doing this, leave me alone!" He begged himself to go faster, why was he so slow right now, but something wrapped around his ankles and tripped him. He hit the ground, hard, and turned with a snarl.

Whatever was around his ankles was invisible, but he could feel it sticking to him. He reached down to rip it off but it just tangled around his hands as well. No, fuck this! He conjured fire in his hands and felt whatever it was begin to burn away, leaving him free enough to spring to his feet and charge into the kitchen. It was empty.

He looked wildly around, growling under his breath before calling, "Lydia! I'm coming!" There was a commotion from the living room and he leapt over the island in the kitchen and into the living room. Lydia was holding onto the wall with both her hands, kicking out against whatever was trying to drag her through a door, green mist billowing out behind her. "Lydia!"

"Beetlejuice, help!" Lydia cried, kicking again. He ran forward, hand outstretched to grab her, but it suddenly felt like something physical slammed into him, filling his head with ice. He froze stock still as a gnarled hand appeared from behind Lydia, a long, clawed finger pointing at him. Lydia was put down, a matching grizzled hand on her shoulder to keep her in place as Juno's glare met Beetlejuice's stare.

"Not today, Lawrence, I can't have you messing everything up for once," She barked, waving her hand and making him slam backwards against the wall. He struggled against the possession, baring his teeth at the older demon, but a phantom sensation tightened against his throat and kept him pinned. "Do as you're told for once in your not-life and stay put."

He opened his mouth to make a retort, to tell her to get her wrinkled hands off Lydia, to fuck off, to go eat shit and jump into the void, something, but he choked instead, the pressure against his throat worsening. He managed to free one of his hands from her possession to claw at his throat, but all he did was seemingly rip away layer after layer of… spiderwebs? He shook his hand to try and rid the sticky webs from it, but they clung to his skin and wound around his fingers.

"You! I told you before, no one leaves the Netherworld. You're coming with me, I have a special place for you." Juno grabbed Lydia again, her fighting doing nothing against the surprisingly sturdy demon, who conjured up a lit cigarette in her mouth. She took a deep drag, the smoke escaping through the gash in her throat, and Lydia coughed as it plumed in her face. "Don't make this harder on yourself."

Beetlejuice struggled again, trying desperately to get off the wall and do something, to help Lydia instead of just watching, but he couldn't. Damn it, he was stronger than this, why couldn't he just break this! 

"No! Beetlejuice, help me!" Lydia screamed, and his eyes snapped up to watch as she was dragged through the door, her grip slipping from the wall. Suddenly the pressure keeping him stuck to the wall faded and he stumbled forward.

"Lydia, wait!" He bolted forward as the door closed, trying to hook his claws in the gap between it and the wall but he wasn't quick enough. The door slammed shut in his face and he beat his fist against it, heart pounding in his chest. No. No! No! Shit! "Lydia!" He cried in anguish, banging on the wall again three times. Nothing happened and he howled wordlessly. No, no, he couldn't lose Lyds. He couldn't let her get stuck in Juno's clutches. 

He yelled again, kicking the wall this time before pacing in front of it. No one came downstairs, which surprised him, but he cursed them in his head silently. Fine, fuck them, who needs them? He could get Lydia back all by himself. He conjured a piece of chalk and drew a haphazard door onto the wall, knocking three times in quick succession. When it didn't open he grabbed the edge and forced it to. He was a fucking demon, he could bend reality if he really wanted.

He stepped through before it could be closed and found himself in the offices where Newly-Deads ended up, and didn't even spare a glance around before shoving his way through the staff door, slamming it open with a frame-rattling bang. "Where is she?" He snarled, but no one was around to take his anger out on. Fine. No one could stop him, then. Good. He stalked out into the hall and glared around, daring anyone to come from the woodworks to stop him. No one did, and he headed down the never-ending hallway.

The twists and turns and spinning made him dizzy in a way it didn't usually, but he chalked it up to his fear for Lydia messing with his perception. What felt like fifteen years and also only twenty seconds passed and he found himself in front of Juno's office, the only thing announcing this being a tiny plaque on the wall that read uoJn hgtoShog.

He took a deep breath to try and force some of his anxiety away and instead replace it with anger. Teeth on full display, lips peeled back in a snarl, he opened the door. Lydia was cowering against Juno's desk, said demon standing over her with her hand raised. Beetlejuice moved before his mind could think and he darted forward to grab Lydia and push her behind him.

"I thought I told you to keep out of this," Juno sneered, staring impassively down at him. Beetlejuice couldn't make his mouth move, and she laughed at him. "What's the matter, Lawrence? Finally learn how to hold your tongue?" He grit his teeth and tried to glare at her. "Aw, look at you, so scary. What a big, scary demon, glaring down his own mother. You're pathetic, nothing but a mistake."

He tightened his hold on Lydia and pushed her further behind him. Lydia glared hatefully at Juno and he begged her to keep her mouth shut, let her focus on him. "You're pathetic," she hissed, and Beetlejuice cursed in his brain, since he still couldn't make himself speak. "Nothing but a big bully."

Juno's eyes snapped to Lydia, and she took a step forward. Beetlejuice was rooted to the spot but he still squared his shoulders and stood protectively in front of Lydia. "Did you say something, pest? I don't remember inviting you to speak? What, are you Lawrence's protector or something?" She threw her head back and laughed, it grated against Beetlejuice's ears and he'd have winced if he could move. "He's really such a pathetic, fucked up excuse for a demon that he has to have a little human girl stand up for him."

Juno reached out and easily batted Beetlejuice away from Lydia, sending him crashing against her desk. She then grabbed Lydia by the arm and hefted her into the air, somehow larger than life itself as she glared at the girl. "Do you know what we demons do to weaklings here?"

Stop, put her down! Leave her alone, is what he wanted to yell. He tried to force himself to his feet, but he remained powerless and stuck in his spot as he watched Juno shake Lydia around like a rag-doll. He felt something crack in his own brain when Lydia spat, "You don't scare me," and got slapped across the face. He wanted to scream, he wanted to rip his mother from limb to limb, he wanted to grab Lydia and hug her and tell her not to backtalk to a demon older than magic itself. He wanted to do a lot and all he could do was watch in muted horror.

"How about we show her, Lawrence? You love putting on shows, don't you? For the attention it brings. What is your stupid little catchphrase again?" Juno put a hand to her chin in mocking thought, twirling Lydia around like she was nothing, ignoring his cries. Lydia was now held between two fingers, Juno the size of a building and the room growing to accommodate for her size. "Oh, right, how could I forget, it's so fucking stupid, just like you."

She stopped swinging Lydia and instead held her up at eye-level. Lydia clawed at Juno's fingers and kicked her feet in the open air. "It's showtime, isn't it, Lawrence?" 

Something shattered behind him, he could feel it, but he couldn't bring himself to move. The room went pitch black, a spiderweb spreading across the floor and creeping up the walls, blood-red light shining from nowhere and everywhere at once. Beetlejuice found himself standing, now, at the end of a web-lined tunnel, Juno and Lydia at the far end. Clawed hands gripped his arms, his legs, his neck, his hair and forced him to his knees, ripping his head up to make sure he watched whatever was going to happen next. Terror bubbled in his veins, both cold as ice and burning him like flames, leaving him shaking and struggling desperately against the hands. 

"I want you to watch, Lawrence, what happens when you mess with things you shouldn't have," his mother's voice echoed in his ear, in his brain, railroad spikes of fear and adrenaline that stabbed through his body. He managed to get his feet under him and started to stand when he froze again, eyes nearly bulging out of his head.

Lydia was now chained to the wall, gag shoved into her mouth. Black shapes emerged from the shadows. Spiders, or something close to that. They approached Lydia, chittering, their feet scraping against the floor oddly. Lydia stared at him, begging him to help her, stop this, do something, but the hands held fast, claws digging in painfully to keep him at a heel.

The first spider-like creature approached her, bobbing and weaving strangely, skittering around her feet. She flinched when it touched her, and it jerked backwards, spitting a glob of something at her. It hit her in the leg and instantly the scent of burning flesh filled the area. Lydia screamed behind the gag, the muscles in her leg jumping, and Beetlejuice couldn't let this go on. He couldn't let her get hurt. He lunged forward but the claws shoved him to the ground, bashing his head against the floor until he saw stars. Now, dizzy and woozy, they pulled him back upright, holding his head at an uncomfortable angle. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision, while also trying to focus on his powers which were refusing to work for him. Another one of the spider-things crawled up the wall and shivered next to Lydia's neck, glowing and crackling oddly. It stepped onto her arm and she jerked back against the wall, a scream tearing from her throat as she was electrocuted. Again, Beetlejuice tried to fight the claws holding him, and again they merely shoved him to the ground. This time they didn't pick him up, instead they just wrenched his head back until his neck snapped out of place.

The third and final creature bristled from the floor, swinging its two tails as it rattled threateningly. Lydia hung limply, tears pouring from her eyes as she caught Beetlejuice's stare again. And again she silently begged for him to stop it. He grit his teeth and slowly, slowly, shifted his legs. The spider-creature darted forward, one of its two tails stabbing forward. It missed Lydia by mere inches, imbedding into the wall and melting the surrounding area like it was butter in a microwave.

The other tail swung forward and Beetlejuice pulled against the hands, digging his feet into the ground and ripping himself from their grip. He hit the ground and scrambled onto his hands and knees, before stumbling to his feet with a scream. He dashed forward, but it felt like he was fighting molasses, the ground itself fighting every step and keeping him mostly in place. 

He watched as the tail stabbed Lydia in the chest, and felt a third and final crack as her scream cut off into nothing, the room going 20 degrees colder as the feeling of death washed over him. "No!" He shrieked, falling forward and down into an inky abyss, drowning in the too-cold, too-hot darkness.

- - - - -

Lydia was almost thrown completely from the bed, waking up as her shoulders hit the floor. She blinked up at her ceiling for a moment, brain struggling to figure out what happened and why she was down there instead of in her bed. Her angle was too wrong to have simply rolled out of bed, so why was she…

She pulled herself up, legs hitting the floor too, and stood in one motion. Beej. He was thrashing where he was half-laying down, sweat beading against his brow and face screwed up in terror. Even his hair had gone white and orange, and she dodged a flailing hand as she crept closer. "Hey, Beej," she whispered, trying to wake him up without touching him. She wasn't sure if touching him would make things worse or help, but she didn't want to chance anything. That, and she was lowkey afraid he'd bite her, like a scared dog.

"Beej, wake up," she tried again, a little louder. She got a slightly closer, hands hovering over his shoulders. Should she… slap him like they did in the movies? No, that was stupid, he'd probably just think she was being mean on purpose and fucking leave. "BJ." Again, he just turned his head and kicked his legs, a choked noise warbling from his throat. She hated to do this, but she knew it would probably work. "Beetlejuice, wake up!" She hissed.

Suddenly his eyes snapped open and he shot upright, his forehead connecting against hers with a crack. She stumbled away and raised her hands to her face with a muffled curse, prodding at the area. It stung but it didn't seem to have broken the skin, or like it would really bruise. Jesus fuck. Lydia opened her eyes to see Beetlejuice shoving no less than half his fist into his mouth to unsuccessfully muffle a scream. 

Oh, God, he was crying. To her horror, tears bubbled up from his eyes and dripped down his face as he bit down further on his fist, now just whimpering pathetically. Lydia moved back to his side and crouched down, hand hovering over his knee. "Beej, hello?" He didn't look at her, which was unexpected, and she hesitated before waving her hand in front of his face.

He flinched away from the movement but didn't seem to actually register her, and she wracked her brain for what to do. What did she do when she had a nightmare? Quick, Lydia, think. When she was younger she'd go wake up her parents to comfort her, but once she got old enough that she thought that was childish she'd stopped. Now she usually just waited out the panic until she got tired enough to sleep again, wrote it down in her dumb sleep-journal, or barring those, got Beej to come distract her.

She had no idea what to do. He obviously wasn't going to stop panicking any time soon on his own, and he was getting louder, risking waking the rest of the house. She doubted he had a dream journal. That left trying to distract him, but first she had to get him to focus on her.

"Hey, hey, B-man," she tried to get his attention, shaking his shoulder slightly. This time his eyes slid over to her, slowly, and met hers. She watched as his pupils widened, then shrunk to pinpricks, and could physically see the moment something clicked in his head.

"Lydia?" he whispered in a cracking voice, and she winced at how rough it sounded. Yikes. He reached out and grabbed the sides of her face, and she tried not to flinch away from them because one had just been crammed into his mouth and was now bleeding slightly. He squished her cheeks for a moment before one of his hands lowered to press against her throat.

He was checking her pulse, she realized, and tilted her head slightly to make it easier on him. "I promise you I am alive, you can't get rid of me that easily," she weakly joked, giving him a small smile which he didn't return. She could feel his hands shaking against her face and neck. "And even if I did die I'd haunt your ass."

After a moment he pulled his hands off of her and covered his face, mutterting, "Jesus fucking Christ shitting on a stick," in what she could only describe as a very strained voice. He didn't move after that, except to lean back against the headboard. She took this chance to crawl back into the bed beside him and sit facing him.

"Are you… no that's stupid, you're obviously not okay. Um, did you have a nightmare?" She scratched the back of her head, trying to figure out what her therapist would tell her to do in this situation. Maybe she'd ask next time she went. Beej didn't move, just grunted listlessly. She'd take that as a yes. "Do you… want to talk about it?"

He shook his head slightly, hair shifting rapidly through a motley of colors, before it settled on the gross yellow-green she associated with him not feeling well, with a few streaks of white that made him look like he was going gray. Normally she'd tease him about it, lightly rib him and poke fun at him because it was the best way to distract him, but that made something churn in her gut at the moment, so she refrained. 

You know, for someone who claimed to not need to breathe, he did it a lot. And right now it was picking up to a rather unhealthy speed. Cool, great, he was hyperventilating now. She needed to get him to stop thinking about it, at least until he wanted to talk about it, or he looked less like he was going to vomit all over her bed due to anxiety. Actually, her first step was to get her wastebasket from next to her desk because she wasn't exaggerating, he looked like he was going to be sick.

"Okay, okay, okay, okay," she chanted, scurrying off her bed and across the room. She snagged the small trash can and barely made it back to her bed before Beetlejuice jerked forward. "Here!" She shoved the waste basket into his hands just in time for him to wretch into it. "Gross," she muttered, curling her lip at the sound of her resident demon spilling his guts into a trash can.

Rather bravely despite her disgust, she climbed back onto the bed and patted his shoulder in sympathy. While she had never actually thrown up from her own panic attacks, she had gotten close once or twice, so the fact that the normally rather iron-stomached demon was currently crying and puking into her plastic trash can because of his? Fucked up in her opinion. 

"Sorry," his voice wavered, muffled strangely from where his head was still in the trash can. He swallowed and breathed slowly from his mouth, trying to do the breathing thing that Lydia and Adam had taught him. It didn't quite work, he still felt like shit, and his breath kept getting caught in his throat and making him choke, but he didn't feel quite as sick as before. He chanced lifting his head and felt even better now that he wasn't breathing trash can air. Who'd've thought?

He felt dizzy, though, now, and his heart was still pounding against his ribs, and his brain kept replaying the scene over and over and over again, which only made his breathing pick up again despite his best efforts.

He vaguely heard Lydia ask if he was done, and assuming she meant vomiting like a kid after a roller coaster he nodded. She took the waste basket and he felt her leave the bed for a moment and open her door, dropping it outside to be dealt with later before shutting it again. "Suck on this," she told him, pressing something into his hand. 

He opened his eyes and looked down, squinting at the yellow-wrapped candy. She probably knew what she was doing and he unwrapped it and put it in his mouth before wincing at the sourness made him flinch. "What the fuck," he mumbled around the piece of candy, a tiny part of his mind noting that she hadn't said to eat it, so he didn't immediately crush it between his teeth to stop the sourness. "I'm having a mental breakdown and you give me candy. What am I, five?"

"It worked, didn't it?" Lydia asked, for the umpteenth time that night getting back into her bed. "Lemons are good for when you're having a panic attack because the sourness forces your brain to focus on that instead of your panic. I don't have any whole lemons laying around but I did have some Warheads in my bag from school."

That made… no sense to Beetlejuice, but it worked apparently because it did shock his brain out of his panic. Now he just felt the dull lingering fight-or-flight vibrating in his bones, leaving him exhausted and shaky. "Weird…" 

"I know, right? I learned that from Tiktok, believe it or not." He gave her a disbelieving look, and she pulled out her phone, typing something into it before shoving it under his nose. Yep, that was a bald dude in glasses saying a lot of words biting into a whole-ass lemon. She pulled her phone back when the video ended, smiling at him. "See, the app isn't all garbage."

"Whatever, I still think it's stupid," he grumbled around the candy in his mouth. It wasn't sour anymore, and so he bit it, chewing it quickly before swallowing. He ran his tongue over his teeth as he thought, before he sighed. "Sorry."

"Why? For what?" Lydia looked genuinely confused and his eyebrow twitched. Uh? For freaking out? For ruining their night? For throwing up in her dumb little trash can? For having a stupid fucking nightmare right where she could see him? For being stupid enough to fall asleep in the first place?

"For making you deal with my bullshit," he said wearily instead of yelling the rest of it. It was too late (early?) for yelling, the last thing he wanted was Chuck to come in and berate them for being too loud. He could have an ounce of self-control every once in a while, surprisingly. 

Lydia squinted at him, before muttering, "we really need to get you to therapy."

"No thank you. I won't go see a shrink. My brain is an enigma that I don't even get to understand." He grinned at her but it fell short of his eyes, and it quickly dropped. He looked down at his hands which were clenched into fists on his lap, and he flexed them. He could still feel the phantom claws pinning him to the floor, could smell the burning flesh, could feel the sudden freezing cloud of death

"You look like you need a hug, come here," Lydia's only slightly awkward voice cut through his thoughts and he glanced up to see her holding her arms open. "I don't know what you dreamed about but you're okay. We're okay," she told him in a strange tone of voice that told him that she had totally noticed him check her pulse earlier.

He leaned forward and pressed his face against her shoulder, and he felt her wrap her arms around him. He focused on the steady pounding of her heartbeat he could hear for a long couple of seconds before he wrapped his own arms around her and hugged back. He was bent a little awkwardly but… the hug was nice. It wasn't one of their usual quick, one-armed, sibling hugs, but something more grounding, more substantial. It melted some of the tension in his shoulders and he tightened his hold on her.

"I won't make you talk about it," she spoke into his hair, leaning her chin on top of his head. "But it might help. It always helped me, how many times have I dragged your ass in here to complain about whatever stupid dream woke me up?" She laughed slightly, and she felt him huff out an amused breath against her collarbone. "I doubt yours was about going to school with no pants on, though. God, that was a stupid nightmare, I don't even remember why it worked me up so much."

"Cause you care too much what people think, Night Terror. 'S a problem," He snorted, twisting his hand into her PJ top. He was avoiding the topic, not something she could really begrudge him for. "But you're right, this wasn't a 'oh no my teeth are falling out!' kind of nightmare, kid." Something about hearing him call her 'kid' while she hugged him made her have to fight a smile. This was serious, they were being serious, she couldn't actually laugh at him right now, otherwise he'd leave and then where would they be?

"Well, what happened, then?" The hug was getting a little much for Lydia, but she didn't let go because she could acutely tell that the touch was helping. She wasn't much for physical touch, but Beetlejuice tried to have contact with people as much as he possibly could. "If it wasn't your teeth falling out, then what? Were you falling forever until you finally hit the ground and bounced?"

"Haha, really funny, tease the fat guy," Beej snorted dryly, finally pulling back from the hug and giving her a flat stare. His lips shook in that particular way they did when he was trying as hard as he could to not smile. Good, it was better than him crying. "You're difficult, did you know that?"

"I try to be. Sooooo…"

He rubbed his face and brought his knees up to lay his head on top of, staring at her from the corner of his eyes. "I woke up and was gonna go back to my room to let you sleep, and I heard voices from downstairs, thinking it was Chuck and Delia, I went down to eavesdrop, as one does–" Lydia nodded because, yeah, obviously "–but there was no one there, and then I heard you yell from the kitchen. I ran in but again there was no one there, and I heard you again in the living room and that's when I saw that… she had you."

Lydia didn't need to ask who 'she' was, she could make a spot on guess based entirely off the way Beetlejuice had spat out the word like it burned him. Juno. So, Juno grabbed her, and then what? Lydia stared expectantly and Beetlejuice averted his eyes.

"I tried to stop her but I wasn't strong enough and she held me back and dragged you to the Netherworld. I couldn't get to the door before it closed and no one would wake up to come help so I drew my own door. It wouldn't open for me so I forced my way in, and got to Juno's office where she was standing over you as if she had hit you."

His voice grew detached, oddly stilted, as if he was reading an academic paper instead of regaling something that terrified him, and he stared blankly across the room. Lydia put her hand on his arm and felt him shiver.

"I was mad, really mad, how dare she lay a hand on you? So I stepped in front of you and she thought it was so funny. She berated me, which I mean, what's new? And then I couldn't move and she grabbed you. And she grew, or we became tiny I don't know, and she shook you around and then she said she was going to show you what demons did to weaklings and forced me to watch."

She shifted until she could lean her head against his arm and felt him shudder again, muscles in his jaw tensing. "You can stop if you want," she offered him an out, but he either didn't hear her or flat out ignored her. She was suspecting the former, though, by the way he stared forward.

"Something held me in place, hands, or claws, or something, and she chained you to the wall where these spider-things took turns hurting you. The… the first one burned you with some kind of acid. I tried to get over to you but I was pushed to the ground until I couldn't see straight. The second electrocuted you and again I was shoved to the ground but this time they snapped my neck to make me watch. The third…"

He finally turned his face towards her and looked so genuinely distraught that she felt her heart sink. "I got you killed, Lyds. Because I was too weak and slow to stop it." He finally moved for the first time since he started speaking, leaning back and violently running his hands through his hair. "If I can't even protect you in a dream, how-how the fuck am I supposed to–" His voice broke, face screwing up. He let out a frustrated growl and tightened his grip on his hair.

"Do you know what I think?" She smiled at him and he opened a single eye to stare at her quizzically. "Dreams aren't fair. They aren't supposed to be. They don't make sense, your brain just makes up exactly what'll hurt you most. I think if, and that's a big if, anything ever did happen you'd stop it. You wouldn't let me get hurt."

"But what if–" he started but she shook her head, cutting him off.

"No 'what ifs' here. I know you wouldn't let anything happen to any of us. I know you're a big ol' softy, but you are still a really powerful demon, and no one messes with a demon's stuff, right?" He gave her a calculating look, both eyes staring unblinkingly at her, and she just grinned at him. "Besides, we beat Juno once, we can do it again. Even if it's a super-buffed up, hacked, perfect IV dream version of her. Super Saiyan Juno."

He laughed at that, dropping his hands to push her shoulder. "Super Saiyan Juno," he quoted, shaking his head at the sheer stupidity of it. "I'd hate to see what she'd look like as a Super Saiyan."

"She'd look real scary with muscles," Lydia giggled. "All old and wrinkled but with wicked huge muscles. Like an old body-builder."

"Ugh, gross, don't make me think of that," Beetlejuice pushed her head lightly to the bed, where she laughed and kicked his leg. "Now it's in my head you freak, what's wrong with you? Do you hate me that much, Lyds?"

"Oh yeah, I just hate you soooo much that I have to resort to psychological warfare," She agreed with a shit-eating grin that Beej matched. She kicked his thigh again with both feet before sitting up. "Hey, where'd my laptop go?" She was wide awake now, and it wasn't worth going back to sleep.

Beetlejuice looked around, before peering over the side of the bed. It wasn't there. Lydia crawled to the foot of the bed and looked, but it wasn't there either. "Where the fuck," she heard Beej mumble, and the two of them spent the next 20 minutes looking for her stupid laptop.

Beej even fished around his pocket dimension and came up with nothing, the only laptops he had were one of the oldest clunkers she'd ever seen and then a hot-pink monstrosity with Barbie all over it. 

"How do we lose an entire laptop?" She asked the room, checking under her bed again in case it mysteriously appeared there. "Are we both fucking stupid or?"

"I mean, we are," Beej grinned from across the room, "but this is beyond our usual idiocy. It's literally just gone, Scarecrow."

"There is no way it's just gone. Things don't just disappear, BJ. You didn't Thanos-snap it out of existence, did you?"

He gave her an offended look, hand on his chest. "Ow, my heart! You wound me! I'd know if I poofed it into oblivion. That isn't something that can just happen on accident."

"Sure, sure. Then where is it?"

It ended up being in the very last place either of them looked: the bed itself. Wrapped up in the back fuzzy blanket Beej had been using, it had gotten kicked to the bottom corner of the bed, only showing itself when Beetlejuice ripped the blanket off and it went sailing across the room. He froze it midair before it slammed into the wall and shared a look with Lydia before the two of them began to cackle, barely remembering to keep it down.

"We're so stupid, Beej," Lydia cried, flopping onto the bed and clutching her stomach as she laughed. "Why didn't we look there first?"

"We share one (1) braincell and neither of us had it in that moment," he wheezed, dropping heavily next to her and making her bounce. "It's almost as if the author forgot about the laptop until the last moment."

"What?"

"What?"

"Nevermind, give it to me, we're going to watch something stupid," she made grabby hands for her laptop and he handed it over. She glanced down at the time, 4:37 AM, and groaned. Well, she definitely wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon, oh well. She'd just chug a bunch of coffee to make up for it. Sleep was for the weak anyway, she had plenty of time to sleep when she was dead. "You ever watch Smosh's TNTL?"

"Tee En Tee El? What?" He looked at her like she had just had a stroke, and she flipped him off.

"Try not to laugh, idiot. Have you?"

"No."

She clicked the most recent episode and handed him the laptop to hold. "Whoever laughs the most loses and has to do something the winner picks."

"Deal," Beetlejuice grinned, holding his hand out to shake. She grabbed his and sealed the deal, before starting the video, grinning because she knew she had this in the bag. She had already watched it, so she knew all the jokes. At one point, close to 7 AM her dad peaked in at them, surprised to hear them awake so early, and worried about the trash can outside her room, only to close the door when he heard, "I'm your mental illness! Okay, have a good bad day!"

Beetlejuice lost in the end, though surprisingly only by one laugh.