#Days Gone By-How It's Gotta Be

[fandomficsnstuff]

How It's Gotta Be

(Warnings: Aaaaaangst and some more angst and some angsty angst on top<3)

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Daisy was quiet as she watched herself in the mirror, the bite on her neck, the scratches along her upper arm, she could still feel it’s nails digging into her like claws… it’s teeth buried in her flesh and she closed her eyes, brows furrowed as she tried to think of something else, anything else, and somehow, in some way, it worked, she felt a soft hand on her waist and when she opened her eyes again, it was Carl, looking at her through the mirror in the bathroom. Her eyes began to tear up and she turned to face him, lower lip trembling as she looked down at him, her hand coming up to hover over where his own bite was, her breath shaky as she looked up at him. “Why me?... Why me?... Why not you?...” she asked quietly, on the verge of sobbing at the thought of losing him. Unlike him, she hadn’t shown any symptoms. No fever, no pain or aches besides the obvious, no nothing. “It’s just-... how it has to be-”

“No… no” she whispered, tears starting to run down her cheeks as she leaned in, resting her forehead against his as she gently shook her head. Why her? Why not him? It should have been him. She should be feeling the symptoms, not him. In what world was this okay? In what world was this fair or right or how it was meant to be?? This isn’t how it was meant to be. This isn’t how it should be. It was wrong. Why her? Why not him?

“Hey, it’s okay-”

“No, it’s not… how am I meant to-... how? How?” she asked in a whimper, Carl cupping her face in his hands, his forehead still resting against hers, burning up and sweaty, his skin pale and she wanted to sob when she felt how warm his forehead was. Too warm. “You have to… you just-... have to, alright? Not just for me… for Judith, for Michonne and my dad and your uncle and Maggie and her baby and everyone else” as he continued to list off the names she began to shake her head, shutting her eyes tightly as a sob began to build in her, her chest burning with a pain unlike anything she’d ever felt, much worse than the bite and scratches. “It’s just-... how it’s gotta be-”

“No! No… no no no no no no no-” she was shut up when she felt his lips on hers, soft and sweet and real, like always, and she kissed him back, their first real kiss, not just on the corner of the mouth but a real one, the kiss wet from her tears and his thumbs gently stroked her cheeks so tenderly, wiping away her tears. “It is… it’s just-... it just is…” he whispered and she let out a choked sob, tears freely running down her cheeks as she shook her head. “Why me?? Why not someone useful? Someone like you! Someone good! Someone who deserves this!”

“You do-”

“No! No, I don’t! If it wasn’t for you, I never would’ve even thought about going back for Siddiq, I never would have cared!”

“I don’t believe that… you hung up those squirrels and that rabbit for him. You did that. You deserve to live, and who knows? Maybe-... maybe one day-”

“‘One day’ is too late! You’ll be gone” she hissed with anger, lifting her forehead from his to look at him and he sighed, continuing to gently stroke away her tears, his touch gentle and featherlight and she let out a shaky breath, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch, brows still furrowed in mental anguish. “I can’t-.... I can’t, not without you, I just-”

“Yes, you can… For me? Please… for me” he almost begged and she let out another choked sob, wrapping her arms around him despite the pain she felt in her shoulder and upper arm, the bite right in the crook of her neck but she couldn’t care, not when she felt his arms wrap around her in return “you have to, okay? It’s how it’s gotta be… it just is” he whispered and she couldn’t help but cry into his shoulder, clinging to him, afraid he could drop at any moment, scared to watch those eyes turn pale and lifeless as he’d reach for her and snap at her, trying to rip into her flesh… she wouldn’t let it get that far. She wouldn’t.

She just wouldn’t.

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Daisy was grinning as she snapped the picture of Carl and Judith together, watching it slide out before taking it, shaking it as she moved to sit next to Carl, showing it to him, both of them waiting anxiously for it to show the picture, grinning as it slowly did. Carl had done everything to make her forget about his bite, trying to be as ordinary as possible, visiting Siddiq with her. She even set up a small bed for him in the sewers, ‘just for now’ she’d told him with a soft smile before leaving. Right now Carl had taken the camera from her, Judith still in his lap as he turned the camera around, intending to take a picture of her when she hid her face in the crook of his neck with a grin that she couldn’t wipe off, Carl snapping the moment anyway, both of them watching the picture pop up and Carl grinned at her as she snatched it, shaking it before looking at it, her cheeks burning red with embarrassment as the picture slowly formed and she saw herself.

“I look-”

“Beautiful… you look beautiful” Carl interrupted and she looked at him, a small smile forming on her lips as she looked away shyly, fiddling with the picture before looking back at him. “You need to shave” she stated softly, lifting her hand to run the tips of her fingers over the growing stubble for a brief second before grinning. She grabbed the camera and lifted it, intending to take a picture of the two of them together and Carl was smiling, looking at the camera but right before she took a picture, she spoke his name, making him look at her and when he did, she kissed him softly, snapping a picture when she felt him kiss her back and she withdrew from him to look at the picture and it slid up and out of the camera. Carl watched her with a smile as she shook the small picture and waited for the darkness to fade and give in to the light and shapes and colors. He knew how he looked, he’d seen himself in the mirror, but she looked as beautiful as ever in his opinion. She wasn’t pale, wasn’t sickly, her cheeks were red from slight embarrassment when she previously had her two pictures taken, embarrassed to be in front of a camera. Her auburn hair was recently washed, making it soft and wavy as it hung in a loose, long braid that almost reached her midsection, he enjoyed the sight of her. Hair washed and clean, giving way to it’s true color instead of being darkened by dirt and grime, her cheeks warm and rosy, her brown eyes sparkling and warm, a hint of something gold in them, reminding him of honey. He began to wonder how she’d look in a few years, how she’d look when she was his dad’s age… how she’d look when she was older… He wished he could see it.

He wished he could see all of it. But he couldn’t. He knew he wouldn’t. It just wasn’t in his cards.

It was just how it’s gotta be.

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God, it hurt. It hurt like hell as she carried the bags over her shoulder, she wore a new shirt she had found in a drawer that went up above her collarbone, hiding the bite and scratches as she fought to not give in and drop the bags. She could do this without the bite and scratches, that meant she could do it with them too. She caught Carl by his wrist as he passed by her, their gazes locked, her heart pounding in her chest “Carl-” his lips were on hers before she could finish the sentence, tears in her eyes as she eagerly kissed him back, her eyes shut tightly as she frowned, parting from him with shaky hands “don’t die…”

“Not yet” he responded softly and Daisy let out a breathy chuckle followed by a brief sob, nodding at him “I love you…”

“I love you too, Carl” she whispered, kissing him again before they had to go their separate ways. Two minutes remaining.

~~~~

Daisy was quiet as she moved through the sewers, being careful not to splash too much water about, trying to avoid it as much as possible as she made her way over to her uncle, forcing a smile at him, her hand itching to scratch at the bite marks that had begun to itch so terribly, but she refrained from it, her eyes moving to Siddiq, giving him a gentle shake of her head when his eyes moved to where her bite was and he quickly looked down again, Daisy looking at her uncle as he glared at Siddiq “it’s okay, Carl and I brought him back…” she whispered softly, sitting down across from him, her eyes on her hands as she fiddled with her fingers, twisting them and tugging at her nails.

“Why?” Daryl suddenly asked and Daisy lifted her head to look at him, studying him before sighing “because it was the right thing to do. And I don’t regret it one bit,” she said as she looked at Siddiq “and I know Carl doesn’t either” she added, making sure that Siddiq heard her before looking back at her uncle “it was the right thing to do” she muttered softly, glancing at Carl before looking back down.

~~~~~~

“He’s not here!” Carl yelled as he stood on top of the walls, Daisy next to him and Negan smirked at them “well well, hold your fire everyone! It’s Carl and little miss Daisy” he spoke into the microphone “look at you two! Answering the door like a big boy - and girl. Like some old married couple who just don’t give a shit. I am so proud. Daddy’s not home, huh? What about your uncle, princess?” Negan called and Daisy sighed and shook her head with a sigh “they’re not here, asshole” she muttered the last word quietly and although he didn’t hear it, Negan sure as hell knew she said something, his smirk widening at the idea. “Well, then. I guess they’re gonna come back to a big old smokey surprise!”

“There’s families in here” Carl spoke softly yet loud enough for Negan to hear him “kids. My little sister” he added. Even in the darkness Daisy could see his beads of sweat on his forehead, her hand reaching for his subtly and he kept his eyes on Negan, not changing one bit, but his hand locked with hers. “Well, that shit just breaks my heart. There’s kids at the Sanctuary, you must’ve seen ‘em. Both of you. I remember you talked with a little girl, didn’t you, Princess? She was over the moon to meet you, her big hero, ‘the girl who lived’” he joked, referencing something she didn’t even know, her brows furrowing and Negan’s smile fell “really? You don’t know Harry Potter? What kind of shitty upbringing did you have?”

“The kind where mom and dad dealt and did drugs in front of me” Daisy scoffed, making Negan smirk again, back to his usual good mood “about that. You broke mommy’s heart when you just took off-”

“She doesn’t have a heart.”

“That may be true, but that doesn’t make it any less wrong-”

“What’s wrong is that that woman was allowed to keep a child” Daisy spat, shaking her head with a scoff, turning to look at Carl before looking back at Negan “there’s children here, just like at the Sanctuary-”

“There was a little baby at one of the outposts… wonder what happened to her.”

“We’re not like you, Negan, we wouldn’t hurt a kid!”

“So… she’s alive, then?”

“Of course she’s alive! Not everyone is as fucking depraved as you are!”

“Well well! Look who’s found her bark!!”

“I always had it, you didn’t take that from me, not that” she hissed and Negan frowned “what the hell-”

“Is David with you? Maybe your creepy doctor who wanted to massage my thighs?! Or maybe David’s waiting to finally do all the things he said he would??”

“What the hell are you talking about-?”

“You know! You know what they did to me!!” she screamed and there was a long silence, a hint of genuine shock in Negan’s eyes as he just stared at her through the darkness. “Shit… listen, princess-”

“I’m not your princess! I’m not your daughter and I’m not your little pet project or your lab rat. You knew. In some way, you knew. You couldn’t not have known! It was right in front of your face. You knew. That makes you just as bad as them…” she hissed, turning to look at Carl before looking back at Negan, the flashlights aimed at her, showing off her wet cheeks from the tears “you knew” she spat before turning to Carl, crawling down the ladder only after he gave her a small nod.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daisy was quiet as she walked over to Carl, kneeling down next to him, moving to lean up against him on his right side, laying on her left, her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her, careful of her shoulder and arm. “Did you tell him?”

“Did you tell him?” she asked quietly, Carl scoffing with a soft smile, already giving away the answer and she sighed. “Are you okay?...”

“No… are you?”

“No…” her eyes moved to Dwight and Carl leaned a little closer to her, his lips near her hairline, just resting there “Daisy-”

“He should die.”

“Daisy-”

“He should.”

“No” Carl whispered softly and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to not cry. She’d cry in front of him. Not in front of a Savior, not in front of the others. Just him. At least she’d try not to.

As Rick and Michonne arrived, Daisy leaned off of Carl, her eyes filling with tears as she looked up at Carl. He was burning up, sweaty, pale, his eyes red, everything about him screamed sickness and she loathed it. More than anything. More than Dwight. More than the doctor, more than David. More than Negan. “I brought him here. It’s how it happened” Carl lifted his shirt up, exposing the bite under the bandage taped over it, Daisy’s lower lip trembling at the sight but she kept her composure, as much as possible, looking up at Rick and Michonne as they both fell to their knees, Daisy looking at Carl, leaning closer, her head resting on his shoulder, a silent attempt at comforting them both before she got up, leaving him with Michonne and his dad, walking over to her uncle instead, silent tears running down her cheeks despite not wanting to cry in front of the others.

“Daisy” Carl called weakly after a while and she looked up, walking over when he smiled softly at her, walking around Rick to kneel down next to Carl, his hand weak and slow as he lifted it up, gently and carefully pulling her shirt collar aside, showing off the matching bandage, gently lifting it to show them the matching bite. “She’s going to hate what I’m about to say next,” he stated as though it was something funny that brought him waves of comfort and warmth, his hand placing the bandage back down, readjusting the shirt collar before interlocking his hand with hers “keep her safe, dad… there has to be someone out there… someone who can make something… it’s why it’s her…” he stated weakly before looking back at her “she’s going to save the world…” he muttered and Daisy let out a weak whimper, tears continuing to roll down her cheeks as she leaned her forehead against the side of his head, clutching his hand even tighter as she shook her head before looking at Rick and Michonne “I’m sorry… I’m so so sorry, I thought I got the walker in time, before-... I’m sorry” she sobbed, Carl clutching her hand a little tighter, making her look at him “it’s how it’s gotta be” he whispered softly and she shook her head, leaning closer to him, her forehead against his warm, sweaty one, her eyes shut tightly “it just is” he whispered softly and she nodded, still clinging to him as she let out a shaky breath, feeling Rick’s hand on hers, giving it a squeeze, a silent reassurance that he didn’t blame her and neither did Michonne as she gently cupped Daisy’s cheek.

This was just how it’s gotta be.

[mokadevs]

day 15: haunting

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

[hplonesomeart]

Hey!! So turns out a video I made between a certain “well beloved but highly sensitive/emotionally reactive T.V” and an “orange haired inkling-turned-human” has managed to sweep my YouTube channel and accumulate 100k VIEWS!! THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY?? My most widely viewed video EVER to exist in this moment in time?? AAAAA?? Not even mentioning the various comments and staggering increase in subs! It’s so much more then what I expected or even prepared for—might even be the most impactful thing to happen for me this year <3

…aside from graduating high school + the social connections I’ve been fortunate to make lol

BUT THE POINT IS I’d been closely monitoring the YouTube growth through the entirety of October. It’s make me smile like a dork, gawk in astonishment, dance frantically in my room from the energy boosts, and grow courage to stop being so selective/self-conscious with what I wish to share with the world! It’s kept my ambitions going!

I needed to find some way to celebrate the occasion and express my thanks—because I can’t NOT acknowledge this milestone jksjskp. Typically I try to avoid getting tunnel visioned focusing on the metrics/numbers. Mr. Puzzles had already demonstrated how much those things can mess with the minds of creatives. Caring too much about chasing views or placing your artistic value in attention seeking gets damaging. But at same time…it’s hard to deny the sense of pride the 100k achievement has filled me with. I understand that reaching 100k views doesn’t immediately make me any “better” or “worse” then I was before. I’m still just me! It only helps me feel seen by others—and that’s all I really needed. To hear some nice words & receive reminders that my ideas are cared about. So thank you SMG4 fandom for that, seriously thank you.

Please accept this Mr. Puzzle drawing as a way of sharing the happiness around. He’s so entertaining. Love him for simply existing. So glad we can all collectively be super attached to him (and the rest of the SMG4 cast of course). Can’t wait to see more incredible artworks from the fandom :)

Just incase anyone is confused by my vague description over which “animated video” I’m referring to here—hopefully this photo will help clarify lol. It’s this one!! Sorry about not outright stating the title at the start, I got carried away with writing!!

I’ve been in an odd place mentally when thinking about it. Wondering to myself if any of the attention is deserved considering it’s not even fully colored and could be dismissed as “low effort” content (despite taking several days making it). It’s easy to get into a trap of comparing yourself to others and questioning how much of the videos success is based on your skills, sheer algorithm luck, or only because you used popular characters and catered to a specific fandom. And then judging yourself by looking at other peoples videos. I’ve seen several artists post higher quality works then my own but it somehow gets less views. So why did mine succeed when others (who should have gotten just as much attention if not more) didn’t? Sometimes you feel like you’ve unfairly robbed them of that chance to be seen. However I’ve realized that I can’t ever expect views to be consistent—and comparing is pointless. So why worry about it or feel inadequate? I mean it’s pretty common for funny cat videos to go viral, so who am I to question the system lol. “Popular” YouTube videos can range from a passion project which took 7+ artists…to a clip of Toad singing Chandelier or a nonsensical Vine sketch. Anything can happen when it’s the internet! And just-so-happened my video was chosen. I should stay glad about that and get rid of all the overanalyzing. So that’s what I’ve chosen to do :)

[martyryo]

hi fightclub followers, I still draw pokemon.

[deus-ex-mona]

when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~

[crowbrained]

HOW DO I GET FREAKS OFF MY ISLAND!!!!! I WANT THEM GONE!!!!!!

dont play for a few weeks and they should move out on their own

if not there’s always the explosion method

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[platypusisnotonfire]

well.

I'm 30.

[fisheito]

did you hear about yakumo's new rooms yet? or seen it?

sir i just got here please have mercy

[melit0n]

I made a little comic based on a convo a few friends and I had.

Time taken: 6 hours and 5 minutes.

What took the longest? Slide 7. Those book designs brought me to the brink of insanity (1 hour and 44 mins).

(Notes under the cut)

Before anyone asks, yes, I know Canus Major typically appears behind Orion, however, I was running out of space, so please forgive the inaccuracy.

For anybody wondering what on Earth the third drawing is, it's a interpretation of NASA's Voyager 1 spacecraft's Pale Blue Dot, which was taken on February 14th, 1990.

Slide 8 represents the red string theory. In most literature, the red string is attached to two people, typically romantic lovers, who are intertwined by fate to meet. However, it can also just be a string that connects a person and all the people they'll connect with in life. It's an embodiment of fate; everybody is interlinked.

Slide 10 is one of my own photos taken from my bedroom window. I originally planned on drawing it out, however, after two hours of fiddling about and trying to make it look right, I gave up and just put the photo there; I hope it fits in fine.

@moonchild-in-blue @tonguetyd @hookedhobbies @branches-in-a-flood thought you four might like this!

[hubba1892]

Nils Holgersson x Hansi und die Graugänse - Crossover

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"

[todayisafridaynight]

Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical

when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Like I said yesterday. Despite being on vacation the thoughts the Visions never cease. And I must say... I fuckin miss himmmmm 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺