#Day In The Life Homeschool Mom
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icelynodette · 11 days ago
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Polk County Fair Oregon 2024
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lith-myathar · 1 year ago
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I genuinely grew up believing that society was going to collapse and that we would all be living in mad max wasteland future by now and like. Yes all of us grew up feeling like we didn't have a future but my upbringing actively told me over and over that The End was coming soon. It's literally doomsday cult shit, but instead of revelations I got peak oil and climate change. And like at the very least those things are real, but the world has not ended, society has not collapsed, and that narrative running through my entire childhood fucked me up bad and left me completely unprepared to function. Like why make any plans? Why have dreams? Why strive for anything in the society we have now when we knew this was coming? But at the same time my parents weren't DOING anything about it. We weren't preppers, we weren't moving to another country, we were just staying put and waiting and worrying, there was always an immediate reason we couldn't act but a long term view of the world that said disaster was coming soon. And at the same time extreme pressure to achieve, because there was this sense that time was running out, money was running out, that I would only ever be safe if I was able to get good grades and degrees and a career that paid well.
I have no point to this post exactly except that I'm still just sort of astounded that that's how I grew up
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endlessfuckup · 2 months ago
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*sigh*
another year of being stuck at home instead of having a normal life :(
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northbirdblog · 3 months ago
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A little mom rant and encouragement story! To read this and more family moments, recipes, natural living inspiration and homeschooling activities, check out the Northbird Blog!
www.thenorthbirdblog.com
Thanks for stopping by!
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itsalwaysdark · 5 months ago
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wed have 11 if we 1. assumed i did go to preschool and 2. count 9th (which could be argued. i was their at least halfsies but it got cut off) 10 (less arguable. i dont think this counts) and 11 (This does not count .)
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wisegirl25 · 22 days ago
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Arcane High School AU Headcannons
Jinx
-Shows up to class once a week (forced to by Silco)
-Somehow has the best grades in almost every class (100 in science, 99 in tech, etc.)
-All the teachers hate her because she constantly breaks the dress code and makes fun of teachers when they try to discipline her
-Just doesn’t show up for detention
-She and Ekko graffitied the back wall of the school and everyone knows it was them but nobody can prove it
-Ignores Vi whenever she tries to talk to her
-Has BEEF with Caitlyn and pulls pranks on her through her locker
-Says she hates kids but she’s always babysitting Isha
-She and Ekko constantly bicker in the hallways so people thought they hated each other until someone caught them making out under a stairwell
-Gives people piercings in the bathroom (it is NOT sanitary at all
-Blasts punk rock and metal music through her headphones so loud she can’t hear anyone
-Is on the Robotics Team, does drama (but she only helps make the sets), and refuses to join anything else
-Nobody knows that she and Viktor are secretly super close-they argue like siblings
-Sells drugs behind the school but doesn’t really take them herself
Vi
-Has dated half the female population of the high school
-Has okay grades (b’s and c’s) but has the best grades in phys ed
-Will scream at you in PE if you don’t pass her the ball
-Annoys Caitlyn all class
-Plays cod mobile or brawl stars instead of doing her work
-Gives Jayce HORRIBLE dating advice (he thinks that because she has a gf she would have good ideas)
-Gets into fights like every other day
-Will punch you if you say anything bad about Jinx
-Threatened to beat up Ekko when he and Jinx started dating (he knew she would never)
-On every sports team ever
-Somehow is the only girl on the male football team
-Failing the one class she has with Jayce
Ekko
-Soundcloud rapper//Jinx helps him produce his music
-Skateboards to school
-Always fighting with Jinx to have the highest grades
-Gets pissed that she doesn’t even put in the work and still excels
-Also on Robotics, plays basketball but nobody has the heart to tell him he’s too short
-Volunteers at a food bank and a homeless shelter every week
-Gaslit Scar into thinking he hated Jinx for the entirety of their freshmen year
-When Scar found out they were childhood besties he was like what
-Ditched prom with Jinx and got happy meals at mcdonalds
-Art club
-Draws Jinx in his sketchbook but won’t let her see it
-Ditches school with Claggor sometimes
-Pretends to hate Caitlyn because Jinx does (bf duties) but lowkey ends up having fun with it
-“Adopts” the weird kids from all the younger grades and forms a little Ekko fanclub indirectly
Caitlyn
-Her mom is on the school board
-Was homeschooled by tutors most of her life until she convinced her parents to let her go to public school
-Straight A’s
-Student Council Vice-President (going to be President after Mel graduates)
-Does track and archery club
-Hated Vi when they first met but warmed up to her
-Tried to get along with Jinx for Vi’s sake until Jinx blew up her locker with a huge project in it and now she has beef with her
-Tries and fails to break up fights
-Breaks the rules but gets away with it because she’s sneaky about it (I hate when ppl make her a goody-two shoes like she wasn’t constantly undermining authority in the show)
-Doesn’t understand why Ekko hates her
-She introduced Jayce (her childhood friend) to Vi and has regretted the decision ever since
-Gossips with Mel in the bathroom
Jayce
-Co-president of robotics team
-Has all a’s in every class except the one class he has with Vi which he is failing
-Will ditch class to go annoy Caitlyn
-The teacher either love him or hate him no in between
-Tried to get onto Student Council to impress Mel
-Plays sports
-He will constantly argue either Ekko, Viktor, and Jinx during robotics
-Bi king can’t decide if he’s madly in love with Viktor or with Mel (ends up with Viktor tho)
-Somehow super popular even though he was a loser in middle school
Viktor
-Has been hopelessly crushing on Jayce since middle school
-Hits people with his cane
-Mostly quiet unless something he’s passionate about comes up
-He and Caitlyn get along really well and ditch Jayce and Vi whenever they start to act stupid to go gossip with Mel
-Secretly has a Youtube account with 100k subscribers but all he does on it are video essays and random rants
-Gets asked “are you gay?” every other week
-He is but he won’t admit it
-Robotics Co-President, Debate team, student council
-People don’t make fun of him because he will literally find ur address and somehow get the police at your door
-The Robotics club becomes his cult and the younger kids worship him
Mel
-Super popular
-Good grades
-Student council president
-Everyone is lowkey scared of her
-Sprays her vanilla coconut body mist everywhere
-Everyone knows her because her mom is some super famous politician
-President of the Debate Team
-Model UN
-Gossips in the bathroom
-Manipulates the teachers into getting her the grades she wants when she doesn’t wanna do the work
-Only dated Jayce for the popularity points and to piss off her mom
-Is lowkey queer but doesn’t know how to label herself so she just ignores it
-She’s really sweet if you actually get to know her and is the friend that buys everyone super expensive gifts
-Buys kids toys to give people she doesn’t like as gag gifts
Sorry it’s so long but I have more…
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lunajay33 · 5 months ago
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Waiting🖤
Summary: After decades of being alone without a love of his own he finally finds her in a gloomy town of forks, his brother Edward isn’t the only lucky one
Pairing: Emmett Cullen x f! Swan reader
Warning: angsty, fluffy sunshine Emmett
•Masterlist•
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I never thought much about the future until suddenly the friends I adored most started relationships and left me in the past as if our friendship never even mattered, like their boyfriend was the most important thing
My sister and I use to be close as kids but when she moved away with our mom and rarely visited me and dad, who she regularly called Charlie, we grew apart leaving me feeling like I lost all my friends and my sister, after a while I grew depressed and I never wanted to leave the house, dad grew concerned and after many absent calls from school he allowed me to start home schooling myself and my grades have never been better
Most nights it was just me and Charlie some days I’d get the courage to go down to the reserve hang out on the beach with Leah, Seth and Jake, sometimes I’d go for hikes in the forest behind the house just to clear my head, but other than that I’d stay in my room listening to music, reading the books dad would bring home for me, and doing school work
That’s how life was for so many years, it was routine and it never bothered me and dad loved having me around, after Bella and mom left he was so broken and with my help, even as a little girl, I pulled him out of that deep dark hole and he became that Charlie that joked around and made me smile
But then dad got the call that Bella was moving back for the rest of highschool since mom would be traveling with Phil for baseball, hopeful that I could reconnect with my sister again
Dad and I picked out a new bed spread for her hoping she’d love it, and he even let me pick out a new book as a thank you for helping him out with getting everything ready for her arrival, after a few days it was time for dad to go pick Bella up from the airport in port angeles, I was a nervous wreck which was crazy I mean she’s my sister why should I be nervous
Finally the familiar sheriff cruiser pulled up in the drive way, I walked out the door with an umbrella quickly shuffling over to Bella to cover her from the rain knowing how she favoured the warm dry weather, complete opposite of me
“Welcome home Bella!” I smiled as we walked back inside as dad got her bags following closely behind
She shook off her coat and placed her little cactus down on the counter
“You’ve grown so much you’re a year younger but you’re already taller than me” she said as she hugged me
“Come on bells we’ll show you your room!” Dad said as he walked up the stairs with her bags
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She settled in for the rest of the day until it was supper time, I set out the table and dished up our meal, dads game playing in the background as we ate
“So are you excited for school on Monday?” I asked
“Not really but atleast I’ll have you there”
“What? No im homeschooled remember”
“Well…..” dad drawled out
“Dad what did you do?” My heart was racing now at the implication
“I thought since Bella’s back now it would be good for you to get out there again, you need some experiences honey”
“But you know I have no one there, no one wants to be friends with me we’ve been over this”
“You might make new friends honey, give give it a chance for your old man” I sighed slumping back in my chair trying to wrap my head around having to socialize again
“Atleast you’ll be with me, dad said since your grades are so good you got bumped up a grade and can have some certain classes together, depending on our courses” that settled my anxiety a little
Bella and dad cleaned up from dinner as I sat out on the porch, in desperate need for fresh air to do its magic, only 2 more days and I’ll be back in a school again, who knows maybe some new kids have arrived and aren’t too set in their groups yet
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Monday came quickly and I was a ball of nerves, I glanced in the mirror as made sure my hair was just the way I wanted, wearing a casual outfit, simple flared black leggings, a dark rich blue longsleeve with my old worn out dark brown carhartt jacket, quickly spraying my vanilla perfume
I walked down stairs to meet Bella in the kitchen, she grabbed an apple as she picked up her backpack from the table
“Are you ready to go?” She asked
“Almost can I make a tea quickly?” She nodded and I quickly wiped together a chai tea latte, grabbing my lunch from the fridge and meeting her in the truck dad had gotten for us but since I didn’t have my license, seeing as I never needed one before now, she would be driving us
The drive to school was calming, hearing the steady rain fall against the windshield, pulling into the parking lot everyone stared until we got out, I kept my eyes down as Bella led me to the schools main office
“Okay here’s your schedule, we have math together at the end of the day, the bells about to ring so I gotta head to world history are you good to find your way to chemistry?”
“Oh ummm yeah I’ll be fine”
“Okay see you at lunch” she smiled gently before she left down the hall
Looking at my schedule I memorized the room number hoping it wouldn’t be too hard to find, turning the corner I rammed into what felt like a brick wall, dropping my books I look infront of me to see the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen, his eyes a golden amber, hair as dark as night and his skin as pale as snow
“Sorry about that, I haven’t seen you around before” he said soothingly as he handed me the books that had momentarily scattered the floor, not even realizing he had picked them up, too busy oogling him I suppose
“Oh yeah I’m just re-enrolling here again, just trying to find my class” he looked down at my schedule a striking smile adorning his face
“Come this way gorgeous, got the same class” walking along the mostly bare hallways I noticed his gentle glide, I’ve never seen such a…..well such a perfect human, obviously I was way out of my league if I could think he’d ever be interested in me, I mean I’m plain and simple what would he ever see in me, best I stay in my lane, but dad did want me to make friends so that couldn’t hurt….right?
We got to the classroom and the teacher assigned us to sit together, the class went by pretty boring, every now and then I’d take glances at Emmett and I swear he did the same but he was probably just looking at someone else, moments like this made me wish I was a beautiful as my sister, she never had a problem with guys wanting her, they basically drooled over her, even if she never acted on any offers she was still wanted
It felt like I was a living ghost most days, no one noticed me anywhere I’d go, a big reason I wanted to be homeschooled, now I’m thrown back into this miserable place, I’ll bet by lunch time Bella with have a table full of new friends while I sit alone, not even a second glance from anyone
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Lunch time rolled around and as I entered the cafeteria I searched for Bella and just as I guessed she was surrounded with bright smiles, excited to get to know her, she glanced my way and I waved hoping she’d wave me over to sit but she just gave a half assed smile and got back to talking with her new friends, I felt my heart rip at that, thinking things would be different this time with her here but I guess I was wrong
I found an empty table near the windows and made myself comfortable for another lonely lunch, I pulled out my bag from my backpack but my appetite was lost and I had no desire to eat so I just pushed my lunch to the side and looked out the window just wanting to go home
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{Emmett’s POV}
I couldn’t get her out of my head, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and her blood sings to me, when she bumped into me in the hallway I felt my whole world shift, she didn’t talk much but just being near her felt right
Lunch came, my least favourite part of the day, having to pretend for an hour, I glanced around the cafeteria hoping to catch a glimpse of my mate again, my eyes landed on her sat alone looking glum a few tables down, the others followed my gaze and smiled knowingly
“Who’s she?” Rosalie asked
“I think she’s my mate”
“Her thoughts are overwhelming loud” Edward stated
“What do you mean?” I asked nervously
“She’s not the happiest girl, I can hear how depressed she is, how unwanted she feels”
“I can feel how broken her heart is” Jasper added
This has to be the worst feeling knowing the one I’m suppose to love unconditionally and she is quite perfect in my eyes, has been broken and feels unloved
I got up from the table and made my way to her sliding in the seat across from her, her eyes were so glazed over with sadness she didn’t even realize I sat down
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{Normal pov}
“So how’s your first day?” I jumped snapping out of my thoughts noticing Emmett is sat across from me
“Oh sorry I didn’t see you, ummm today has been fine I guess, thanks again for helping me earlier”
“It’s not problem, umm I was wondering maybe if you’re not too busy this weekend if you’d wanna hang out?” My heart raced at this
“Really? You wanna hang out with me?”
“Yeah of course, who would wanna spend time with the most beautiful girl in the school” his smile warmed my heart but quickly faded at a realization
“Is this a prank, because if it is it’s cruel” I said as my bottom lip wobbled
“No what? I would never do something like that I really wanna get to know you, so how about after school on Friday I’ll meet you in the parking lot and we can go do something?”
“Okay……sure id really like that” his face beamed with excitement
“Perfect it’s a date then gorgeous”
This felt surreal there’s no way there wasn’t a catch here, how could someone wanna spend their free time with me, but like Charlie said it doesn’t hurt to try, I just hope this doesn’t break my heart more
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Part 2
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hitomisuzuya · 2 months ago
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OMG- SUZU'S REQUESTS ARE OPENNNN-
Could I request Scaramouche and Wanderer as the reader's step brothers?? They're twins, their mom is engaged to our mom-
When the parents started dating, they both thought about introducing their children to each other if the date goes well- their 5th date, they both decided to bring their children! So we meet them, bla bla bla-
She's an innocent little shi- purely because she doesn't talk with people, and was homeschooled most of her life-
Scaramouche and Wanderer both thought she was so fucking stupid, and they find it cute(somehow😭🙏🏻)-
When their parents got engaged, they(our mom and us) moved in with them(Scara, Wanderer, and Ei)—
She wore revealing things around the house and she doesn't know how Scaramouche and Wanderer thought about that, she wasn't really used to being around guys, considering that she's only been with her mother and stuff like that-
They've been holding out for weeks- one day, they both just couldn't hold back anymore- they waited until their parents were gone for their date, then they took their chance.
(can we also fast forward to the wedding day?? After the wedding, our parents went to- uhm- screw eachother-🙏🏻
While our parents got on with that shit, they also screwed us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻) -exclude this if you want:>
(Something specificccc- can this include bondage?)
Have a wonderful and amazing day, Suzu!!🖤
Don't forget to take care of yourself!!🖤
Here, some flowers to my favorite writer 💐🌹🌷💐
🖤🖤🖤
stepcest, DNI if it makes you uncomfortable, please. scaramouche x fem! reader. wanderer x fem!reader. smut. threesome. bondage. degradation. scaramouche receiving. wanderer giving. sex toy for funsies.
thank you so much 🥺 it always makes my day hearing i am someone's favorite writer ❤️ this is kinda dirty.
scaramouche and wanderer certainly didn't expect for their mother to want to marry. or to gain a stepsister. a sweet, delicate stepsister they both wanted to devour.
you are so sweet and innocent. very naive having been homeschooled. dumb in an curious and quite frankly adorable way. quiet as a mouse. you didn't even like making noise at night if you knew other people were asleep.
you didn't have any idea what you did to them. you always wore things that highlighted every dip and curve of your body. tank tops and low cut shirts that your breasts spilled out of if you leaned over. short, pleated skirts with thigh highs. today in particular you'd woren a skirt wanderer in particular enjoyed seeing you in, with thigh highs that made him want to sink down underneath the table in the kitchen and fuck his tongue into your pussy.
tonight was the night. the moment the mom's left on their date, they were going to take you. they felt you were ready for them, and they couldn't hold back anymore.
you were also hiding a secret of your own. you had an enormous crush on both of your stepbrothers. you weren't supposed to have feelings like that. they were never supposed to know and honestly, it was no surprise that caved easily to them.
your cheeks flushed dark realizing the position you were in. you were laying on your bed, legs spread and naked. your wrists were handcuffed above your head, wanderer slotted between your thighs. his tongue is greedily enjoying devouring your hole.
had both of wanderer's hands not been busy holding your legs spread with one, the other wagging and teasing the vibrator they both knew you had on your clit, he would've reached down and stroked his straining cock feeling your body twitching in pleasure in his hand.
his tongue swept languidly over your pussy, drunk on your taste. he alternated between fucking his tongue into your whole and pumping the vibrator in and out of your creamy cunt. he moaned shakily, latching his lips around your throbbing clit.
scaramouche was kneeling at your head, his cock pulsing as he watched your face contort in pleasure. wanderer was pulling moans from you that quite frankly made him feel jealous. grasping the back of your head, he turned it so you were looking at him. he poked his leaking cockhead against your lips.
your cheeks flushed as he smeared precum on your lips. you opened your mouth, scooping his cock head into your mouth to suck on. "who knew our stepsister was such a slut," he groaned, gritted his teeth as your mouth sucked wet and eager. grasping a handful of your hair, he bobbed your mouth up and down on his cock.
wanderer's eyes rolled closed, tasting your pussy clench on his tongue. his thumb turned up the settling on the vibrator, drool pooling from the corner of your mouth as you muffled moans on scaramouche's cock. jolts of pleasure shot through your body, your clit throbbing harder from the increased vibrations. "fuck, she's so close to cumming," he moaned huskily, his mouth sucking and working your pussy over in ways you'd only fingered yourself at night thinking about.
you were helpless, wrists delicately cuffed above your head. you wanted so badly to reach down and tangle your fingers in wanderer's soft hair, pressing his mouth down onto your cunt while you grinded your clit shamelessly on the vibrator.
scoffing, scaramouche pulled his cock from your mouth. a string of salvia connected your tongue to his cock. "shaking like a leaf, what a whore," as good as your pretty mouth felt taking his cock, he was quite content to fist his cock watching your body twitched with your impending orgasm. it was a treat watching you struggle to keep it together.
"please, please..feels so good," you choked back a whimper bubbling up behind your moans. scaramouche was far more pent up than he thought he was. your plea made cum spill out onto your chest. the frustration of not fucking you caught up with him.
as much as wanderer wanted to taste you creaming on his tongue, it was intoxicating to keep you on the edge. you sure had been slowly edging them without doing anything when they first met you. he shut the vibrator off, smirking at your whimper of protest as he took his mouth off your cunt. "be a good girl, and take it, slut," he teased, delivering a wet tap to your clit.
your cheeks flushed with adoration, your back arching off the bed, moaning from the teasingly rough treatment. scaramouche moved away from your head, as wanderer moved to your head. pulling you down the bed some by your ankle, he hastily spread your legs, grinding his cock head on your clit.
your hips immediately rocked up to rub your clit on the tip, your breath hitching in your throat in anticipation. your pussy was puffy and aching to be stretched apart by scaramouche's cock.
"stroke, but don't make me cum," wanderer hissed, taking your hand and putting it on his cock. he wants so badly to cum inside of you, even though your breasts would look twice as good spattered with his cum mixing with scaramouche's.
you stroked and pumped your hand on wanderer's cock, massaging your thumb on the head. the blush on your cheeks darkened feeling his cock pulse in your hand. "good girl," he sighed shakily, rutting into your hand.
your moans rose to a shameless octave as scaramouche pushed his cock inside of you. you gasped in pleasure feeling him slowly stretch you apart,your body shaking as he bottomed out with a harsh but languid thrust. the chilly metal of the handcuffs rubbed against your wrists as your fingernails dug into the palms of your hands.
"slut was practically been begging to be fucked by us," scaramouche moaned huskily, firmly grasping and kneading his fingers into the soft flesh of your thighs. he didn't hold back anything in his thrusts, pumping his cock into you almost carelessly, all his frustration of holding himself back all this time releasing all at once.
you saw stars as his cock bullied into your sweet spot, bringing you even closer to the edge. your poor little body was wracked and nearly limp with pleasure. you struggled to form words to tell him how good his cock felt, but another burst of pleasure only caused them to fall away broken into moans.
wanderer's fingers dipped down to tease and pinch one of your hardened nipples, sending stronger shocks of pleasure to your clit. "fuck, i can feel you cumming," scaramouche hissed, letting out a satisfied, husky groan. his cock pulsed as your walls clutched tight while you creamed on his cock.
scaramouche's milky cum ribboned inside of you, your pathetic moans of pleasure fueling his thrusts as he chased his high. wanderer batted your hand away from his cock before his cum spilled into it. you hadn't even come down from your orgasm before wanderer was bullying his cock inside of you.
a softer part of scaramouche showed briefly for a moment, moving up to your head once he pulled out to rest your head in his lap. "you are all ours now, doll," he purred condescendingly down at you, taking hold of your cuffed wrists to keep them in place, the fingers of his free hand stroking through your hair.
"good girl," wanderer moaned, surrendering himself to the tight, warm feeling of your pussy, "keep crying for me just like that."
you were made for them, after all.
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seleneprince · 27 days ago
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The MC from my yandere!batfam au
Name: Lucia Wayne-Perez
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(This got too long, ops. And there's more coming)
-Her mother was a whore, living in a pretty shitty neighborhood and working for equally shitty people. She got pregnant after a one-night stand with Bruce Wayne. She was told to abort the baby, since not only it would be a burden to her job, but she wouldn't been able to give her a good life.
-However, she refused everytime. She briefly considered using the baby to get a hold of the Wayne's fortune, but as time passed, she decided to keep her precious babygirl to herself instead. The rich society wouldn't ever accept them anyway, and if they gave a shit, it'll be only to take Lucia away from her for being a Wayne.
-For the first time in her life, the woman had something worth living for. Something that was entirely hers, her own creation. And she refused to let anyone take it from her.
-Unfortunately, love itself isn't enough to raise a child, as she soon found out. With a new mouth to feed, she had to work more and leave little Lucia with other people more often than not. When she became old enough, her mother chose to leave her alone at home instead, drilling in her mind to never, ever, open the door to anyone that wasn't her.
-It made her feel better knowing her babygirl was waiting for her at their home, rather that in someone else's hands.
-Lucia's happiest memories from childhood are the time she spent with her mother when she wasn't working, doing things together at home. They cooked together, watched tv snuggled at the couch, chased each other all around their little apartment between laughs.
-From outside, it wasn't a safe or healthy life for a kid. But Lucia was loved, and she was happy even when they struggled. Her mother was her everything.
-Then her little brother was born, her mother once again deciding to keep the baby against all advice, and Lucia learnt to take care not only of herself, but now of another human being as well.
-It was fine, because she adored her little brother. She wasn't alone anymore when Mommy went out to work. She had her brother to play with.
-She was homeschooled, definitely. Her mother was smarter than people gave her credit for, so she had no problem teaching them what they needed. Plus, it gave for sweet family bonding time.
-The people her mother worked for were dangerous, ruling over the town with iron fists and fear. The woman had a somewhat privileged position compared to her co-workers, but it didn't mean she was safe.
-And she found out the worst way.
-You see, Lucia's mother earned her privileges with her charm and silver tongue, not only for her "work ethic". This allowed her to get a hold on certain secrets, information she shouldn't have had. The kind of secrets that, if she shared them with anyone, they would've mean serious trouble for her superiors.
-It didn't sit right with them, of course, so they decided to eliminate the risk permanently.
-One day, a man showed up to their apartment's door, banging it loudly and yelling. Her mother grabbed Lucia and her brother in a hurry, shoved them in a closet and locked it, telling them to not make a sound until she returned.
-Through the gaps of the closet, Lucia could only see the shadows of her mother and the stranger, and heard the screams. She cried, burying her face in her brother's head to muffle the sounds, covering his mouth with her hand to do the same for him.
-At last, she heard gunshots. Several. She saw traces of blood splashed on the wall, and then silence followed. Eery, terrible silence.
-There were voices of adults talking, all men. She could heard them walk through the apartment, and she closed her eyes tightly, begging silently that they left soon so Mom could return and comfort them.
-But Mom didn't return. Instead, heavy footsteps approached them, and the closer was opened slowly.
-A man stood in front of them. Big, scary looking, and with his clothes stained in red.
-He didn't say anything, didn't move, just stared at them. Lucia held his gaze with her teary eyes, her brother holding unto her.
-"Oi, you found anything?!"
-"Nah, there's nothing in here!"
-And he locked the closet again.
-The police arrived much later, ripping the closet open apart, as if they knew they were there. They were led out of the apartment, passing the living room, where there was blood everywhere...and Mommy's corpse laying there, with a giant pool of red underneath.
-Lucia shielded her brother's eyes, but no one did it for her. She just looked at her mother, unblinking, frozen in the spot. She couldn't hear anything or anyone besides her own heart and an intense ringing in her ears.
-She had to be dragged away from the scene.
-Commissary Gordon received them on the street, after they were covered in blankets and briefly interrogated. He was the nicest of the bunch, even when Lucia remained unresponsive. He didn't ask questions, leading them to his car with a gentle hand and taking them to the police station, where they soon figured out they had no relatives to care for them.
-Gordon himself took them to the orphanage, reminiscing of a certain event several years ago when he saw another child with the same haunted look in his eyes, right after losing his parents too.
-It was only after her brother fell asleep that Lucia finally broke down.
-In the orphanage, things weren't much better. Gotham doesn't care about orphans unless they're rich. The clothes weren't the best quality, the food wasn't always warm, and sometimes the punishments for misbehaving were a bit too harsh.
-Lucia found out she hates small, closed spaces. She was thrown in one as punishment for causing trouble and got such a panic attack she fainted there.
-However, she grew to like it there despite all. She played with other kids, her brother had other people to take care of him, and she was free. She cried every night for her Mom, but the rest of the day wasn't so bad.
-Until blood tests came. Lucia knew she and her brother came from different fathers, but she had no idea who they were. Afraid that they would be separated, Lucia went out of her way to avoid getting blood tests. Hiding when there was an appointment, pretending to be sick or injured. Anything.
-It worked for a year, surprisingly. Because again, no one cares about orphans.
-But then, one of the orphanage's rich sponsors dropped for a visit, to check their donations were used properly. That person happened to have known Martha Wayne from youth...and pointed out the strong resemblance little Lucia held with the woman.
-She couldn't evade the blood test this time. The results confirmed the suspicions: She was Bruce Wayne's daughter, and meant to go live with him.
-Everyone filled her ears with praises about Bruce, about how lucky she was, how great of a father he obviously is. That everything will be better from now on. And he'll definitely let her visit her brother as much as she wishes, maybe adopting him too.
-For the first time since her mother's death, Lucia felt hopeful. As she was dropped at the Wayne manor, being welcomed by the kind butler named Alfred, she believed great things awaited her.
-It wasn't the case.
-Her father doesn't seem happy to see her, barely concealing his indifference with a quick apology over the loss of her mother (which happened a year ago by then so what's the point?). He's distant and doesn't show interest in her, handling her over to Alfred while he goes on about his day. Alfred apologized on Bruce's behalf, holding her by the hand and leading her through the manor, helping her get established in her new room.
-Lucia might've been young, but she wasn't blind, and the circumstances she was raised in only made her more observant than most children. She knew she wasn't wanted there, that she was an unpleasant surprise for her father. Which, okay, it hurt a bit a lot but she could handle it. She only had to wait for him to get used to her presence and work hard to earn his love.
-She meets Dick Grayson next, her older brother, according to Alfred. Lucia is hopeful once again. Maybe if her father doesn't like her very much, at least she can get along with her big brother.
-Wrong again. Dick shows pity for her situation and ruffles her hair as a greeting, talking to her in a friendly manner, but Lucia can see he's disconnected from it. He leaves as soon as he can.
-The others aren't any better, making her feel more and more dissapointed by each meeting. Tim brushes her off before they can even talk, acting as if she didn't exist. Jason is scary as fuck, being so big and grumpy (it reminds her of the man that opened the closet). Cassandra and Barbara are polite enough, greeting her when they see each other around the manor, but that's all. Stephanie seems genuinely interested at first, sitting down with her and asking questions, only to ignore her completely after some weeks.
-Turns out she was just bored and Lucia was something "new" to distract herself.
-It becomes clear that she wasn't wanted there. She was an inconvenience, someone that was forced upon them without asking for it, especially for her father.
-The whole family disregard her, and she feels how she disturbs their mood when she enters the room. How their conversations grew quieter in her presence, letting clear she wasn't part of the group.
-They hang out a lot, but never made an effort to include her unless Alfred suggested them to. Lucia couldn't stand how uncomfortable they obviously were with her there, so she was the one to tell Alfred it wasn't necessary.
-Lucia thought she only had to try harder. She noticed how all the family were so talented. She had to keep up. Prove herself to them.
-She took gymnastics classes, judo, programming, painting, everything she could try. She read books Jason liked, studied hard to get good grades. Everything she could think of to impress them and have their approval.
-Nothing worked. In fact, they only seemed more annoyed when she tried to get their attention.
-Acting rebellious was out of the question, thanks to Alfred. He taught her etiquette and how to behave in social settings now she was a Wayne. That her actions could affect the Wayne's reputation. Besides, she respected the man too much to dissapoint him like that.
-The last straw was when Damian showed up, her other half-blood brother. She expected him to be received with the same coldness and indifference, and thought that she could bond with him. She already had a younger brother she loved, having another one would be great.
-Only to feel her heart break for the umpteenth time when he was treated with such kindness and warmness, despite him acting like an asshole all the time. She spent years running herself ragged to earn a spot in the family, to get just a tiny bit of their affection, all for nothing. And he gets it all and more without even trying. Why? What's the fucking difference? What does he have that she doesn't?
-Still, she tries to reach out to him anyway, just like with everyone. He's still her brother, after all. Her actual brother, not like the others. They have the same blood, surely that means something.
-She gets her answer when he sneaks into her room one night and tries to kill her, leaving a long scar across her neck.
-Damian gets a slap on the wrist and Lucia has to hear how he had such a rough upbringing, how he doesn't know better, that it wouldn't happen again. Please, forgive him.
-And that's exactly when she gives up. She realizes she'll never part of the family, not in a way that matters. She's nothing in that house. Her father doesn't want her, her supposed siblings treat her like shit. Well fuck them. She finally got the message. From now on, she'll stay out of everyone's way.
-She has her little brother and Alfred. She doesn't need anyone else. Alfred loves her enough to fill the gap of a father, and takes care of her with the utmost dedication, practically raising her as his own.
-With time, she decides this isn't so bad. At least she gets to live in a huge mansion with plenty of places to explore, and has a nice allowance. She can get used to this. Besides, with how often they're out of the manor, she's free to roam as much as she wants.
-Now, how she gets into her...slightly illegal hobby? Well, you see, that's the thing when you neglect a kid and ignore them all the time. They're left to their own devices without supervision. And they tend to wander into places they shouldn't be.
-Out of all the classes/activities she took, programming was her favourite, along with gimmnastics. She excelled at both, but there was something about technology that called to her. It was her preferred way to distract herself when loneliness hit too hard. She spent hours browsing through internet, playing with the settings, trying new things.
-She felt an addicting kind of satisfaction the first time she cracked a code, succesfully hacking someone's phone without them noticing. She realized she could to many, many things with this skill. And it was surprisingly entertaining. The thrill of it, the challenge it supposed to her. She found her passion.
-Soon enough, this hobby became her life. She went from phones to computers, from computers to security cameras. Not even electric vehicles were safe from her. If it had some sort of software, she could hack it.
-She began to build and develop her own arsenal. Programs, computers, tablets, drones. She modified her phone to be a weapon in her hands, capable of hacking and controlling anything remotely technologic with it. This gathers the interest of the wrong kind of crowd, pushing her into dangerous, very illegal bussiness.
-She uses the money she earns from it to provide for her little brother and save it for the future, in a separate account from Bruce. She intends to get them both out of Gotham at some point, and so her moral code gets more blurry as no one is there to tell her "Stop".
-Lucia grows up as an overachiever, unconsciously to fight her insecurities, and hyper-independent, believing fully she can only ever rely on herself.
-She's also naturally good at parkour, years of gimnastic classes serving her well to climb, jump and sneak into places gracefully. She spends a lot of time on rooftops to "work", since it's usually the best place.
-She also drives her own motorcycle, a gift from Alfred himself when she got her license. However, he'll have a heart attack if he saw how she tends to drive on it.
Part 2 definitely coming, 'cause I have more lore for this girl (she still has to meet Duke)
@nebulousmoon3990
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icelynodette · 4 months ago
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Homeschool Day Ankeny Hill Nature Center 2024
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rootspiral · 22 days ago
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 7 part 1
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])
ah yes, episode 7, a notoriously low stakes one that people are not emotionally invested in whatsoever. a mere 9.1 on IMDB, nothing to write home about.
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we start with lilia dying, because life and death are a never ending cycle. and also because the people who made this show are evil
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she's like a teardrop. good fucking shot.
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meanwhile billy is marching on, puffing his chest, all stone faced. agatha is pretending to be a nice little guy, to make friends.
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she's really TRYING, okay?
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rio's busy reaping alice's soul, but we don't reveal that until later. and LMAO agatha being all like, I'm gonna be OPEN and HONEST and a good ment- except for that I donwannatalkabouthat
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agatha after she babysits a little boy once, scares him shitless and tries to kill his mom: we CLEARLY had a connection there
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that poor little dash in the subtitles. fighting for its life to convey the chasm of time she leaves between ex and best friend
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LET'S HEAR IT FOR REBECCA WHO RAISED THIS BOY FOR FAR LONGER THAN WANDA OR AGATHA EVER DID
but the unfortunate fact is, wanda still is his mother. or rather, she's the witch who thoughtlessly created him and left a big scar in her wake. he has to deal with all that.
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marvel's powers that be: wanda maximoff is definitely dead-dead
jac schaeffer and co. every chance they get: she sure is!!! *big fat kathryn hahn wink at the camera*
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if they ever do a 'marvel most iconic line' poll we as a fandom are voting for this one. just to be clear.
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I saw some reactors going ooooh it's ho***rts. HOW DARE YOU SIR. that's the wicked witch castle. billy maximoff would never.
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I've been asking myself WHY agatha simply doesn't tell billy about the nature of the Road, not even now that everything else is out in the open. the only answer I can come up with is that the Road is real and it's here and deadly, it's not in any way an illusion. and since the Road is linked to billy's emotional state, we dont' want him to go ballistic one he realizes he's been killing witches. agatha has decided she can only soldier through at this point and get herself and billy's home, they can talk about the implications later. yes, she's really scared of what billy can do.
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I've also been trying to figure out the moon phases:
Full moon - water phase, blue, Jen.
Waning moon - fire phase, red, Alice.
Blood moon or lunar eclipse (still a full moon): spirit phase, purple, Agatha
Waxing moon: air phase, yellow, Lilia
New moon: earth phase, green, Rio
so we get full moon, waning, full moon again, waxing, new moon. they're completely out of order??
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this whole trial is the equivalent of billy calling lilia a slur. no fr it's billy repeatedly beating lilia over the head with a stick and going, reCLAIM IT RECLAIM THE DAMN SLUR YOU WITCH
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i find kathryn hahn as the wicked witch of the west alarmingly hot and i don't know what that says about me
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billy is like, i effin KNEW I'd look this good. oh god, the Road was just an excuse to cosplay as maleficent all along
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i love how these two find themselves alone for five minutes and immediately proceed to BUTCHER a trial. i'm overusing tumblr lingo these days and all, but I still gotta say it: there is one single braincell in this whole coven and lilia has it. it's like leaving two children in charge
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a cursory google search tells me the two sphinxes represent light and darkness, you need to learn how to control both for the chariot to move forward
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she always is!! sort of. kind of. mostly.
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agatha, who's about as spiritual as a q-tip: how hard caN THIS BE
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I can totally see her as a con artist counting cards in vegas
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somehow I cannot picture evanora homeschooling her. or sending her to school at all, for that matter. you know this bitch is self-taught.
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someone with more time than me should totally check if there's any rhyme or reason to the cards these two buffoons drew
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I'm gonna end this entry with lilia's eyes again so it's another nice circle. a fun little ouroboros!
damn patti has such big doe eyes
go to episode 7 part 2
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feminist-space · 10 months ago
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Article by Fortesa Latifi:
"Being the child of an influencer, Vanessa tells me, was the equivalent of having a full-time job—and then some. She remembers late nights in which the family recorded and rerecorded videos until her mother considered them perfect and days when creating content for the blog stretched into her homeschooling time. If she expressed her unease, she was told the family needed her. “It was like after this next campaign, maybe we could have more time to relax. And then it would never happen,” she says. She was around 10 years old when she realized her life was different from that of other children. When she went to other kids’ houses, she was surprised by how they lived. “I felt strange that they didn’t have to work on social media or blog posts, or constantly pose for pictures or videos,” she says. “I realized they didn’t have to worry about their family's financial situation or contribute to it.”
Vanessa, who requested anonymity to speak freely about her family dynamics, says she helped create content for huge companies like Huggies and Hasbro when her mom landed endorsement deals. When she reached puberty and began menstruating, her mother had her do sponsored posts for sanitary pads. “It was so mortifying,” she says. “I just felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.”
Being part of an influencer family changed everything about her life, Vanessa says. “Sometimes I didn’t know where the separation was between what was real and what was curated for social media.” And her mother’s online presence indelibly warped their relationship. “Being an influencer kid turned my relationship with my mom into more of an employer-employee relationship than a parent-child one,” she says. “Once you cross the line from being family to being coworkers, you can’t really go back.”
...
Khanbalinov has had zero new offers since he took his kids offline. “When we were showing our kids, brands were rolling in left and right—clothing companies, apps, paper towel companies, food brands. They all wanted us to work with them,” he says. “Once we stopped, we reached out to the brands we had lined up and 99 percent of them dropped out because they wanted kids to showcase their products. And I fought back, like, you guys are a paper towel company—why do you need a kid selling your stuff?”
The law has woefully lagged behind the culture here, but there’s signs that policymakers might finally be catching up. In 2023, in addition to Illinois, three other states—New York, Washington State, and New Jersey—proposed bills to protect influencer kids. Contrast that with the flurry of legislative activity in just the first two months of 2024. Seven more states—Maryland, Georgia, Ohio, Missouri, California, Arizona, Minnesota—have introduced similar legislation. Some of the bills are going one step further to protect the privacy of the kids featured in this content. In some states, proposed legislation would include a clause that borrows from a European legal doctrine known as the “right to be forgotten”—it would allow someone who was featured in content when they were a child to request that platforms permanently delete those posts. None of the current legislation introduced, however, would outright bar the practice of featuring minors in monetized content.
...
The movement on this issue was glacial for years, but it finally feels like the ice has thawed. Much of that progress is thanks to activists like Cam Barrett (she/they), a 25-year-old creator (@softscorpio) who uses TikTok to talk about her experience of being overshared in their childhood and adolescence. Barrett doesn’t go by her legal name anymore because of the online history it’s tied to. “I love my legal name,” Barrett tells me. “I just don’t love the digital footprint attached to it.” Last year, Barrett testified in front of the Washington State legislature as a proponent of a bill to protect influencer kids. This year, they testified again—this time, in front of the Maryland legislature.
“As a former content kid myself, I know what it’s like to grow up with a digital footprint I never asked for,” Barrett told the Maryland House of Delegates Economic Matters Committee in February. “As my mom posted to the world my first-ever menstrual cycle, as she posted to the world the intimate details about me being adopted, her platform grew and I had no say in what was posted.” And yet, Cam says her activism has been healing.
For Cam and other influencer children, getting a paycheck won’t give them back what they lost—a normal childhood unobstructed by the cameras pushed into their faces. But it could be the beginning of some version of restitution. “My friends say I’m fighting for little Cam,” she tells me. “It feels very healing because I didn’t have anyone to fight for me as a kid.”"
Read the full article here: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a60125272/sharenting-parenting-influencer-cost-children/
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probablyasocialecologist · 10 months ago
Text
Being the child of an influencer, Vanessa tells me, was the equivalent of having a full-time job—and then some. She remembers late nights in which the family recorded and rerecorded videos until her mother considered them perfect and days when creating content for the blog stretched into her homeschooling time. If she expressed her unease, she was told the family needed her. “It was like after this next campaign, maybe we could have more time to relax. And then it would never happen,” she says. She was around 10 years old when she realized her life was different from that of other children. When she went to other kids’ houses, she was surprised by how they lived. “I felt strange that they didn’t have to work on social media or blog posts, or constantly pose for pictures or videos,” she says. “I realized they didn’t have to worry about their family's financial situation or contribute to it.” Vanessa, who requested anonymity to speak freely about her family dynamics, says she helped create content for huge companies like Huggies and Hasbro when her mom landed endorsement deals. When she reached puberty and began menstruating, her mother had her do sponsored posts for sanitary pads. “It was so mortifying,” she says. “I just felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.” Being part of an influencer family changed everything about her life, Vanessa says. “Sometimes I didn’t know where the separation was between what was real and what was curated for social media.” And her mother’s online presence indelibly warped their relationship. “Being an influencer kid turned my relationship with my mom into more of an employer-employee relationship than a parent-child one,” she says. “Once you cross the line from being family to being coworkers, you can’t really go back.” Vanessa will never get back the childhood that she gave up for the family business—not getting any of the money she helped earn is just another disappointment, even if it was entirely unsurprising. “My mom never led me to think there would be anything. She would continually remind me that the money she was getting from the blog or sponsorships was going toward us anyway through basic needs and that should be enough.”
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thisgirlnamedblusy · 2 months ago
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Heey! I hope you're doing well! I would like to request a story about gp Donna having a daughter with a maid who abandoned her when the child was born. Donna raises her daughter alone and homeschool her for most of the part until her daughter tells her that she wants music lessons so Donna asks the duke a piano. The duke being all noisy gets the tea about Donna's daughter wanting music lessons and suggests Donna to hire reader as her teacher, an excellent pianist with good reputation. Both Donna and her daughter (like mother, like daughter) fall in love with reader with Donna's daughter wanting reader to become her other mom (and unlike Donna, her daughter is not that shy and is always complementing reader and dropping hints to her that Donna is very much single).
One afternoon after a lesson Donna listens to reader sing while she plays the piano and is mesmerized by her beautiful voice. Perhaps reader is singing a classical piece like Ave Maria by Schubert and that sort of reminds her of her family before the black gods faith and all that (I suppose it would make sense not to sing about other gods except for the black ones? So that's why gets more enamored with reader, for bringing her back those memories). Anywaysss, Donna with a little help from her daughter confesses to reader, who of course has fallen in love with Donna and her offspring.
welll, I hope that wasn't too much of a request 😅
Have a good day!
Yesss!!! I have to say I loved that request, thank you :D! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))
Rebuilding a broken life
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Fluff, a bit of angst, Donna being Donna and a single mother, that's curious :D, G!P Donna (implied), Donna's POV
Word count: 8,709
Summary: I only have my daughter...
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open, I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))
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Sometimes I try to live in the past, to remember what those times were like, when life was much easier. I would have given anything to go back to that moment, to reject Mother Miranda's offer to make me her daughter, a Lord.
But being named Lord, obtaining the divine grace of the Black Gods didn’t illuminate my path, rather, it darkened it. I always lived isolated. I was never interested in people. They were evil, they laughed at me, at my appearance, at my scar. I could consider my transition from villager to Lord a success, since those mocking laughs turned into cries and screams of terror, but, apart from that, nothing else changed.
At least nothing that had to do with my condition as a lonely and isolated woman. The reason for the mockery and for my behavior mutated in an unpleasant way; turning me into something like a deformed monster, as much as Miranda denied it.
The Gods' whim was just a moment of fun, and with me... they went too far. Not only did my eye disappear, not only did they turn me into an unpleasant being. They also played with my body.
I didn't care too much, I got used to it soon, but I didn't know how to get used to loneliness. My solitary life only ended partially. Angie, my doll since I was a child, came to life thanks to my efforts, to my desperation to hear another voice other than those in my head.
It might seem like a positive change, in part it was, but it wasn't what I was looking for by giving myself over to the black claws of the village. Getting out of that spiral of madness and loneliness was my true goal, but things never turn out the way you expect. Neither the new parts of my body, nor my powers, nor my appearance made it change. Madness continued to eat away my brain, the madness that came from an illness that had stalked my family for years.
If you put it all together, a deformed face, a different body, terrifying powers, madness and absolute loneliness, you get a legend, a character from a scary story, you get me: the last Lord, the doll maker, Donna Beneviento.
I stopped aging. I stopped being a baseless legend to become a woman to be feared, respected or even revered. My new siblings seemed to enjoy that change, to exercise power over the rest of the villagers, to inflict terror on them.
I was never interested in that kind of power, the power to get what I wanted when I wanted and the power to never be questioned. I had become so accustomed to my solitude that it became my refuge, a refuge for all eternity.
One day, after my sister Alcina convinced me, I decided to try out what it would be like to live with someone, to hear other different voices in the mansion, and I accepted one of her maids. She was a beautiful girl. Her name was Helga.
It could have been because of the lack of habit, because of my heart's longing to not feel alone, the reasons really didn't matter. It didn't take long for me to fall in love with her. I had never believed in love, I never had the chance to experience what my books talked about. I was eager to do it, to love, to be loved.
Looking back on the past, I now think that maybe I should have thought things better, understand that love is something that happens between two people, and not just for one of them.
Helga accepted my feelings and let herself be loved by a monster like me. In her eyes I could see the lie, the deception. I could see a false smile when she heard me say: I love you. I didn't give it any importance, she had to love me.
Of course I let myself be carried away by my clumsy feelings, by my erratic heart. I took that girl. I made her mine when I wanted, when I needed. I thought everything would change from that moment on, and I was right.
I wasn’t careful when I claimed her body as mine, and there were consequences. After a few months with the illusion of living a romance, it happened, I got her pregnant. I never thought about having a family, about starting one.
I had to get used to the idea of ​​having a baby with someone who, deep down, I knew didn’t love me, but seeing my child grow in her womb mesmerized me too much. After a few months, that child came into the world, a beautiful girl, Maria Beneviento.
I came to think that I couldn’t be happier. I had a beautiful girl, a young maid at my side, everything was perfect, but, again, it was just an illusion. I remember the blizzard of that night, that terrible night.
“Shh, ti prego non piangere, tesoro…” I whispered while cradling the newborn, who wouldn't stop crying. “Oh, hai fame, vero?” I said, getting up to look for Helga, who, she told me, needed to rest.
I couldn't blame her. It had only been a week since the girl was born and she was exhausted.
I walked through the house with the girl in my arms. Poor thing, she was crying inconsolably. I looked for Helga in her room, the one she never wanted to leave. I will never be able to get over what I found.
The room was empty, there was no one there. I looked for her, but she was gone. In the baby's crib there was a note, a damn note that I burned in the fire, and whose words still burn in my heart.
I can't stand it anymore.
Everything I did, I did because I was afraid, because you scared me.
I can't stand having given my life to a monster like you, having a baby who will soon become a monster too.
I can't stay with you. I can't look my daughter in the face, a daughter I never wanted.
I never loved you, and I never will.
I'm leaving, Donna, I'm leaving forever. I wish I could have taken that innocent baby with me, but you terrify me, I know what you'll do to me.
I screamed, I cried, I hit everything within my reach. I couldn't believe those words and at the same time it seemed like I had read them somewhere else, perhaps in her sad and complacent gaze.
Without thinking twice, furious, with my daughter in my arms, I went out to look for her. It was a dark night and the snow didn't stop falling. I called out to her, I threatened her, but it was too late.
On the snowy ground there were footprints, her footprints. Desperate, I followed them, followed them until... they disappeared, they disappeared at the edge of a cliff.
Surely that stupid girl didn't know how dangerous my land was, how dangerous it was to go out at night in the middle of a blizzard.
She would never come back, she abandoned me forever, she abandoned us.
I might have thought that I had the consolation of still having my daughter, that my baby hadn't fallen into the void with her mother, but I didn't see it that way. My soul was broken in two, my heart was crushed mercilessly. That girl left me alone with my daughter, that girl never loved me.
I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my daughter in my arms, I don't know what the consequences would have been. I spent days complaining, even though I barely had time. I was left alone, my daughter too. Helga abandoned me, but Maria was still with me. She was a newborn baby, she needed me.
Pain, suffering... at first that was what I felt when I had to take care of my daughter alone. I never knew how to do it well. I was overwhelmed several times, desperate. Then I realized what I had to do, my responsibility. I had to take care of my little girl; it didn't matter if I had to do it by myself. I had no other option.
Luckily, I managed to get used to the situation, and move on.
The years went by and my little Maria grew up, perhaps faster than I would have liked. She was a girl... well, a bit strange girl. Physically she was exactly like me, but... her personality was not similar at all.
Maria was intelligent, extremely intelligent. She was a happy, funny, outgoing and obedient child. I like to think that I was a good mother to her, although that wasn't the case.
From a very young age she had to put up with my madness. Dealing with a sick mother like me, without having anyone else (apart from Angie, of course), must have been hard for her, but she never showed it.
Eight years after that fateful night, my daughter and I lived peacefully. She knew me and understood me, and I loved her madly.
I knocked on the girl's bedroom door slowly, as it was a reasonable hour to sleep.
“Come in,” my daughter said, in a sweet voice, as always.
“Maria, it's time to sleep,” I said softly.
The girl, lying in bed, looked at me over the book she was reading with Angie, and made a gesture of silence. I couldn't help but smile and obeyed her request, slowly approaching and sitting on the mattress.
“Cinque minuti,” she whispered in an intriguing voice, turning a page. “Mamma, they've killed Dumbledore…”
“Oh,” I sighed with a tender smile, watching Maria devour the book.
“I told you Snape was a traitor from the start! I told you!” Angie shrieked, pointing at the book with her wooden hand.
“Angie, don't shout,” I told the doll, who relaxed her attitude.
“It's true, you were right, Angie,” Maria said, nodding to the doll, who laughed in satisfaction.
The little girl closed the book with a sigh of suspense and left it on the table, passing a hand over her forehead.
“Wow... it was interesting,” she said, letting me get a little closer and cover her with the sheets. “I can't wait to see what happens,” she said rubbing her hands.
“Mm,” I murmured with my eyebrow raised, arranging my daughter's hair, a gesture she liked less and less.
“Mamma…” she protested amused. “I'm not a child anymore.”
“Aren’t you? So, what are you?” I asked with the same mocking tone.
“Mm…” she murmured thoughtfully, looking at the ceiling. “An impending pre-teenager.”
I laughed, shaking my head at my daughter's bold responses. I definitely don't know where she got that audacity from. It couldn't be from me… maybe from Angie?
“Excuse me, my impending teenager,” I joked, making sure the girl was well protected from the cold.
“Um, mamma…” Maria murmured nervously, attracting my attention, when I was about to leave. “Can I talk to you?”
“Va bene,” I answered frowning and sitting back down. “What's wrong, tesoro?”
“I was just wondering…” she said, without looking at me directly, thoughtful. “Mamma… Who was my mother?”
The smile immediately faded from my face and memories appeared to haunt my wounded mind. I had to make a great effort to control my nerves. I didn't want to lose my mind in front of my daughter, not again.
“Maria, what's that question about?” I said nervously, with a cold tone.
“Well…” Maria said, sitting on the bed while scratching the back of her neck. “I have a good memory. I remember I asked you when I was… I think I was 4 years old. You told me I was too young to know.”
“Mm, certo,” I said blinking erratically.
“But I'm not so young anymore,” my daughter said, with an expectant look. “Per favore, mamma, tell me what she was like,”
I sighed, undecided, but motivated by her bright eyes, identical to mine.
“W-Well… y-you…” I stammered, trying hard not to let my voice get stuck, something complicated. “Your mother was… her name was Helga and… she was my maid.”
The girl nodded curiously, barely blinking.
“She was very beautiful,” I whispered, remembering that treacherous look.
“What happened to her?” she asked impatiently.
“Um… she left, she abandoned us shortly after you were born,” I said, knowing there was no point in lying to her. That girl was devilishly smart, she would find out sooner or later.
“She left you alone with a baby? Wow, she wasn't a good person then,” the girl whispered. “Do you think I'll ever get to meet her?”
“No, I'm afraid… she's gone,” I murmured, shaking my head and holding back a tear.
“Oh, well… thanks for telling me,” Maria said with an indifferent voice, opening the drawer of her nightstand and taking out a paper and a pen. “Yes, it’s progressing…”
“Mm?” I murmured curiously, trying to see what was on that sheet of paper, on which Maria seemed to cross something out. “Cos’è questo, Maria?” I asked, tilting my head to try to make out something.
“Questo?” she said, showing me the paper. I nodded slowly, studying those phrases that were written on it. “Oh, it’s nothing… just a wish list.”
“A wish list?” I asked curious and amused, trying to bury the memory of her mother, so her words wouldn’t penetrate my mind, and destroy it again.
“Well, I'm already 8,” she explained with that knowing tone I adored. “Soon I'll reach adolescence and lose my mind, you know, hormones…” she said with a passive voice and an amused gesture. “Before that happens and my head starts to think about stupid boys, I would like to do some things.”
“Mm, you're cautious,” I commented, surprised, as always, by her intelligence. “Can I take a look?” I asked, extending a hand towards the paper, paper that Maria handed me, nodding and shrugging.
Yes, it was a list, the wish list of an eight-year-old girl. Some things were crossed out, the most recent was:
Meet my mother
I sighed somewhat sadly knowing that she would never do it, but I continued reading, hoping to distract myself enough with the girl thoughts and ambitions.
“Maria…” I whispered, looking at the girl with a frown and pointing at one of the phrases. “To have a sibling?” I asked with a trembling voice.
“Yes,” my girl nodded, with an innocent smile. “I think it would be really cool to have one,” she said without caring about the impossibility that it entailed. “Don't be offended, Angie.”
“More minions? I like how it sounds,” the doll said, with an amused gesture.
“I'm afraid that wish is impossible, tesoro,” I said with a low voice, with a sad look.
I could never, ever fall in love again, not after what happened the first time I did.
“No, it's not impossible,” Maria protested, leaning towards me and reading her phrases. “Look, mamma, if this one here comes true, it would be possible.”
I looked at where her finger was pointing, and I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry in despair.
Mamma stops being alone
I read it several times, glancing at the girl and hiding the trembling in my hands.
“Maria…”  I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Y-You should think of another wish.”
“No, they are my wishes, you can't influence them,” the girl said, crossing her arms. “You just have to read them, not judge them.”
“Va bene, you're right,” I said, briefly pinching her cheek, something that made her laugh embarrassedly. “Mm, learn to play the piano?” I asked, reading more of her wishes. “Do you want to learn to play the piano?”
“Oh, yes, do you remember the day we went to see Aunt Alcina at the castle?” she asked, coming closer, she seemed excited.
“Yes, of course I remember,” I answered, looking at my daughter curiously. “You mean the maid who played you a birthday song, right?”
“Well…” the girl sighed, rolling her eyes. “The song was childish and squeaky, but the sound of that piano… it was beautiful, so I decided to learn… but… we don't have a piano,” she said in a much lower voice, looking away, as she always did when she wanted to ask me for something.
“Actually we have one in the basement,” I said. “You could learn on it.”
“Mamma, that's not exactly a piano,” my daughter said in an innocent tone, biting her lip. “I want a real one, a piano as cool as the one in the castle.”
“You want a piano,” I murmured, arching my eyebrow. “Do you want me to buy a piano, Maria? Is that what you're trying to ask me?”
“Well… I wouldn't say no if you do,” she said amused, with her eyes wide open. “I know my birthday has passed and…”
“Cut the crap,” I said amused, shaking my head. “Well… I guess it’s something much more feasible than some of your wishes.”
“Does that mean you’ll do it? Will you buy me a piano?” the girl asked, standing up on the bed, excited again.
I looked at her tenderly and thought for a moment. I could never deny my little girl anything, I never would.
“If you behave,” I said amused, pointing at her with my finger before she jumped into my arms.
“Great! Grazie di cuore, mamma, you’re the best, the best!” Maria yelled enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around me and giving me a tender hug that I always appreciated, that told me I would never be alone, I would always have my daughter.
“Okay, okay, tesoro,” I said, overwhelmed by her affectionate kisses, gently patting her back. “But you’ll have to be consistent and learn to play wonderfully, mm?”
“Certo, I have to read more books,” my daughter said, moving away and letting herself fall on the bed, with a hand on her chin, thoughtful. “Now go, I have to think,” she said with a concentrated expression. “Where could we put it, Angie?”
“Well, you better go to sleep,” I said, laughing tenderly, giving her a kiss on the forehead and looking at the doll coldly, telling Angie with my eyes not to bother Maria and let her rest, something almost impossible.
“Mamma,” Maria called me, before I went out the door. “Ti voglio bene”
“Anch’io, tesoro… Anch’io…” I whispered, closing the door slowly.
Maria was not a capricious child, even though I always did whatever she wants to see her happy. I will always be surprised by her ability to educate practically by herself, taking advantage of my absences, my crises, to fill her mind with knowledge.
Sometimes I regretted having had a maid, but I changed my mind when I saw my little girl. She was the most important thing to me, and that would always be the case.
If Maria wanted a piano, she would have a piano, without a doubt.
The next day I took advantage of the Duke's weekly visit to make the request. I still find it hard to believe how different Maria is, how little she resembles my withdrawn and shy personality…
“Hello, Duke,” Maria said, waving her hand politely with a mocking smile.
I was standing next to her, with my face covered with the veil and the Angie doll in my arms. No matter how well that horrible man treated my little girl, I never trusted him.
“Miss Beneviento, you look well,” the merchant murmured, handing me the things I needed for the week. “Lady Beneviento…”
“Hi, fatty,” Angie said, moving in my arms. “How are you?”
“Great,” he replied, counting the coins I threw at him in an unpleasant manner. “What do you say, Miss? Did you manage to solve last week's riddle?” he asked, looking at my daughter with a sinister smile.
“Of course,” the girl answered, with a smug smile. “The answer is the Sun,” she said, lifting her chin. “Although… there was something wrong with the riddle. Yes, normally the sun rises and sets, but… did you know that there are certain areas of the world where it doesn't rise or set for several months?”
“Oh, I guess I forgot that detail,” the man said, laughing amused at the girl's words. “You got it right again…”
“As always,” Maria said, making a gesture to play it down.
“Come on, we want to see that chocolate bar,” Angie demanded, climbing into Maria's arms while I watched in silence.
“Here you go, Miss…” the Duke sighed amusedly tossing a sweet to the girl, one that she caught gracefully. “I hope I don't make it so easy for you next time.”
“Grazie,” the kid said, kindly. “Mamma, tell him, tell him,” she said, tugging at my dress, somewhat impatiently.
I looked at her and gestured for Angie to come closer.
“That's it, Duke, we want a piano,” I said, speaking through the doll.
“A piano?” the man asked, taking out a small notebook.
“Yes, yes, a piano,” Maria said, jumping on the ground. “I'm going to learn to play it.”
“Oh, that's wonderful, Miss, music is the voice of the soul,” the Duke said, writing something down. “Is an upright piano okay?”
I looked at my daughter, who did the same, nodding.
“Yes, okay,” she said, smiling with satisfaction.
“For your sake, fatso, fatso, I hope you don't fool us,” Angie said, climbing up the carriage and looking at the merchant in a menacing manner. “A nice piano for Maria, is that clear?”
“Like water, Miss Angie,” he said, amused, gesturing for the doll to move away. “Tell me, how do you plan to learn?”
“Well... By myself, I guess, Donna doesn’t know to play it,” my daughter said, making me look at her embarrassed. “Don't be offended, mamma.”
“I see,” the Duke said, looking at me with a mocking smile. “It turns out that I know someone. There is a girl in the village who is an excellent pianist, perhaps, Lady Beneviento, it would be good for your daughter if she gave the little Miss some lessons.”
“A piano teacher?” Maria asked, while I pondered the offer. “That would be great, mamma, say yes, say yes…”
“I don't know, tesoro… I don't like people coming to the house,” I murmured, putting myself at the height of the girl, who made a sad gesture.
“Please…” my daughter begged, putting her hands together.
“Please, please…” Angie said, imitating her gesture.
“Ugh,” I sighed, looking at the Duke, who was impatiently waiting for my answer.
“Well? I promise you won't regret it, my lady,” the merchant said, studying my movements. “I'm convinced that she will get along very well with your offspring.”
“Oh, I…” I muttered, gesturing to Angie, giving up. “Okay,” the doll said, speaking in my voice.
After a few days, the piano arrived at the mansion and, with the unpleasant help of some lycans, I managed to find a suitable place for it. Maria was very excited, but I, not so much. The idea of ​​a gossipy villager entering my house… talking to my little girl… I didn't like it, but just seeing Maria's shining eyes, I got used to it.
“Here she is!” the girl shrieked, running towards the door, which someone had knocked on. It was that disgusting teacher, no doubt. “Vai, mamma!”
“I'm coming,” I said in a whisper, putting on my veil and approaching the door, opening it slowly.
I was expecting to find an old woman, a petulant old woman who was no longer in her prime, but I was petrified. Behind the door, there was a rather young woman, smiling and… beautiful, terribly beautiful.
“H-Hello,” the young woman said, waking me from a reverie. I wasn’t expecting someone like that. “It’s an honor to meet you, Lady Beneviento.”
“Are you the teacher?” Angie asked, speaking for me, uncomfortably studying the girl, who seemed scared by her presence. I don’t blame her.
“Yes, my name is (Y/N),” she said, extending her hand towards me, a hand that I briefly looked at, but didn’t shake, making her withdraw it awkwardly. “Um… well… so you want to learn to play the piano, right?”
“No,” I said with my hoarse voice, while my daughter came out from behind me, looking with the same surprise as me at that girl. “Not me.”
“Hello,” Maria said, with an elegant gesture. “I'm Maria Beneviento, and I'm your new student,” she said with an amused smile, shaking her hand, something I couldn't do.
“Oh, wow, I didn't know that... that it was you,” the young woman said, looking at me and then at the girl, making a small, friendly bow “I thought I was going to teach you, Lady Beneviento.”
“No, my mother doesn't have a clue about music, she only knows how to make dolls,” the girl said, amused, causing me to give her a gentle slap on the shoulder as a reprimand. “Oh, but she makes them very well, I promise.”
“Your mother? You mean...? Are you her daughter?” the pianist asked, looking at me with a frown and a bewildered expression.
“Yes, of course,” the little girl said, guiding the visitor through the house. “Don't you see how much we look alike?” she asked, pointing to the portrait on the stairs.
“Oh, um… is that you?” (Y/N) asked, looking at me and pointing at the portrait. I didn't move, nor did I say a single word, obviously. “W-Wow, your really look alike, you're like two peas in a pod.”
“Isn't that right?” Maria laughed, taking the stranger's hand and leading her into the living room. “This way, (Y/N)”
“I-It's funny. I didn’t know you had a daughter, my lady,” the young woman said, walking towards the piano next to my little girl, looking at me out of the corner of her eye, distrustful.
“Mm,” I murmured, not giving importance to her comment, approaching Maria. “Tesoro, I'm going to the workshop, Angie will stay with you, if something happens…”
“Mamma… non preocuparti,” Maria said, sitting on the stool in front of the piano, next to that unknown girl.
“Va bene,” I whispered, giving one last look to the young woman, who did the same quickly. I could see the fear in her eyes.
Reluctant, but with no other choice, I left them alone.
It must have been an entertaining afternoon, since Angie didn't warn me of any danger, but she did when that girl was about to leave.
“Grazie, (Y/N), see you tomorrow,” Maria said, waving her hand goodbye, while I, suspicious, walked with the young woman to the door.
“Your daughter is very talented, my lady,” (Y/N) commented, before leaving through the door.
“Mm,” I murmured in an impatient tone, wishing she would leave at once.
“Well, she has to practice, but I think she can be a great pianist if she puts her mind to it,” the young woman said, with no intention of leaving. “It's unbelievable that she's just eight years old, she's very intelligent.”
“I know that already,” I whispered impatiently, handing her a bag of coins.
“Oh, um, thanks,” she said, putting them in her purse. “I was surprised that you had a daughter… well, in the village we never…”
“I know,” I cut her words off abruptly, with a tired sigh. “No one has to know about my life.”
“Yes, well, I understand,” she said, scratching the back of her neck. “Forgive my indiscretion, I know it's none of my business but… What about her father?”
The Angie doll, who was listening next to me, began to laugh outrageously, drawing our attention.
“Stupid,” Angie said, pointing at the girl with her finger and pretending to laugh loudly. “You're so stupid… Donna is Maria's mother, get it? She's her mother, she impregnated a maid and…”
“Angie…” I hissed nervously.
“What?” the pianist asked, looking at me and speaking in a small voice when she realized her mistake.
I, nervous and embarrassed, clenched my fists tightly on both sides of my hips.
“Oh, shit, I mean… I understand, oh, I… w-well, I had heard rumors but they seemed… I mean, it's okay, well, there's a huge woman, a fish man… it's not that I find it strange or anything like that, I mean…” she said nervously, not knowing where to run.
I crossed my arms furiously, wanting to make her live the worst of her nightmares, but then I thought of Maria and I restrained myself.
“Shut up,” I demanded with a firm tone. “I advise you to stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong,” I threatened walking a step towards her, making the girl back off.
“I'm sorry. It's just that…” she said, visibly nervous, refusing to look at my face.
“Does my Donna's penis disgust you, silly?” Angie said, making me burn with rage.
“Angie! Taci, taci, taci!” I screamed furiously, kicking the floor. The piano played in the background, Maria was oblivious to the conversation, fortunately.
“What? Oh, no, no, not at all… I have no problem with that,” the pianist said, putting her hands in a position of surrender. “B-besides, I'm just your daughter's piano teacher, I have no intention of snooping in your… business. I was just… I was just curious.”
“Curiosity…” I began in a dark tone, making it clear to that stupid village girl what her place was.
“Killed the cat, I know,” she finished, with a nervous smile. “I just want to say that, well, that… your daughter is great.”
“Mm,” I growled, looking away and closing the door in her face. “Cazzo, Angie…”
The doll, realizing that she had given too much information, ran off towards Maria, who was playing the keys, surely putting into practice what she had learned.
“Look, mamma, I know the scale,” the girl said, gesturing for me to come closer as she softly played the piano.
“Meraviglioso, Maria,” I sighed, relaxing with the soft sound of the instrument.
“So… what do you think?” my daughter murmured, looking at the floor. “About (Y/N).”
“(Y/N)?” I asked annoyed, sighing as I took off my veil. “She's just some ordinary village girl.”
“No, not at all. She's great, she's super smart, and she plays really well, and she's also really beautiful, don't you think, mamma?” Maria said, following me through the mansion.
“Mm, maybe she is,” I commented distractedly. She was right, that girl was very beautiful… but a nuisance too. “Your lessons, Maria, don't forget them,” I said in a motherly tone, pointing to her study books.
The visits from that unpleasant girl continued. Maria learned a lot from (Y/N), although I didn't like to admit it. Little by little I got used to the presence of that nosy villager, maybe too much, since, from time to time, I came up from the workshop to see how she taught my daughter.
They seemed to get along really well, and every day her beauty was much more evident to me, but I didn't give it any importance, she was still an idiot.
“That's it, you learn very quickly Maria,” (Y/N) said as I approached slowly. “It's noticeable that you practice a lot.”
“Of course I do, so I don't forget,” the little girl said, swinging her legs on the stool.
“Um, Maria… I'd like to ask you something,” the teacher whispered, looking around, probably afraid that I would appear.
That made me back off and hide in the shadows. I wanted to hear what that stupid girl was saying about me, I was sure she would say something about me.
“Va bene,” my daughter said, distracted, touching the keys.
“Hey, your mother…” the young woman murmured, attracting my attention even more. “Your mother is a bit scary, isn't she?”
“Mamma Donna?” Maria asked and shook her head. “Not at all, are you scared of my mamma?”
“Um, well,” the girl said, with a nervous smile. “She's a Lord and… well, in the village everyone fears her.”
“Bah, nonsense,” my daughter said, gesturing with her hand. “That's because they don't know her. Donna is nice.”
“Really? Does she take good care of you?” she asked in a more confident tone, something that made me burn with rage.
How could that stupid woman question my way of taking care of my daughter?
“Oh, yes, she is very intelligent, she teaches me many things,” Maria said, making me sigh with relief.
“Um… what about your other mother? Don't you miss her?” (Y/N) asked, making me want to end her existence.
“Not really,” the girl said, lowering her head. “I never got to know her. Mamma Donna told me that she was her maid and that she… abandoned us.”
“Chiudi il becco…” I muttered in a whisper. “Maledizione…”
“Gods, that’s… horrible,” the young woman said, changing her expression.
“Well, it's the past. Donna took care of me and raised me by herself, and I assure you that it must not be easy to do that, and even more so with a daughter like me,” Maria said amused. “I don't usually give her any trouble, but… she has to put up with me.”
“Mm, I see,” (Y/N) said, tenderly stroking Maria's hair. “I see that I was wrong about her, I'm sorry for doubting your mother.”
“It doesn't matter,” Maria said, putting on a strange expression. “People say horrible things about her, but I know they're lies. My mamma is mentally ill, but that doesn't mean she's not a good person, she really is.”
“Yes, I see,” the pianist said, looking back, without seeing me. “If you say so, I believe you…”
“Forgive her if she was abrupt with you,” my daughter said, apologizing for my aggressive attitude. “She's just very lonely. I'm convinced that her character will improve when she meets someone.”
“Mm, maybe, but being alone isn't that bad, you know? I am too,” the young woman said.
“Oh, really?” the little girl asked. “That's interesting…” she murmured, with a tone that forced me to intervene. “Wouldn't you like to meet someone?”
“Well, I…”
“Ahem,” I cleared my throat, walking nervously towards them. (Y/N) looked at me briefly, immediately lowering her head. “It's time, isn't it?”
“Mm, sì, mamma,” Maria said, getting off the stool.
The young pianist stood up with a friendly gesture.
“Your daughter has been great, as always, my lady,” the young woman said, not daring to look at me. “It's a pleasure to teach her.”
“You don't have to be that formal. You can call her Donna, vero, mamma? Maria said, with a slightly strange voice.
“I guess,” I said reluctantly, making the girl laugh nervously.
“W-Well, Donna then,” (Y/N) whispered, with a shy laugh.
“Mamma, do you know that (Y/N) is also alone? What a coincidence, huh?” the girl asked, comically tugging at my dress, putting the stupid villager in a tight spot.
“Maria,” I said in a dark voice. I didn't know why, but that comment made me blush.
“Don't worry, Donna, your daughter is adorable, she just says what she thinks,” the young woman said, picking up the scores.
“Ma, mamma, are you going to let her go?” Maria insisted, making me very nervous. “You should be nice and invite her to tea. She’s been coming here for almost a month.”
“Maria…” I hissed nervously, while (Y/N) laughed again, shaking her head. “Stop annoying her, I’m sure she’ll have better things to do.”
“T-Truth be told,” the pianist said, arching her eyebrows. “I could use some tea, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“Ugh, okay,” I muttered, threatening with my daughter my gaze making her fled with Angie.
That was the beginning of a strange routine. After piano lessons, (Y/N) started to stay with us for a while, having tea, helping Maria with her homework…
Over time, I couldn't say that that stupid girl started to catch my attention, but I did stop thinking that she was... well, stupid. She was a kind, funny girl, who made Maria and Angie laugh, and she was kind to me, kinder than anyone ever was, no one, not even Helga.
I couldn't help but notice a certain conspiracy in my little girl's words and actions, hinting several times at how lonely her poor mother was when I wasn't around, or telling me directly that (Y/N) was single too.
I couldn't blame her for wanting to have what she never had, for wanting another mother, but... it was simply impossible, it would never be possible, although deep down, that pianist girl caught my attention more than I would like to admit.
“Well, I better go, thank you very much for the tea, Donna,” (Y/N) said, after an afternoon of games with Angie and the girl, something of which I was only a spectator. “See you tomorrow, huh, girls?” she said amused, high-fiving Maria and Angie.
“Hey, but it's really late,” my daughter commented, looking out the window. “Hey, (Y/N), why don't you stay for dinner?”
“Oh, for dinner?” the young woman asked blinking and looking for an answer in me. “W-well, I…”
“Don't listen to her,” I said quickly, putting a warning hand on Maria's shoulder.
“Mamma,” the little girl protested, breaking away from my grip while (Y/N) smiled, picking up her coat. “I'm trying to help you.”
“Who asked you for help, brat? Basta,” I hissed sternly but nervously.
“Well… it's true that it's late,” (Y/N) said, oblivious to my reprimands, looking at me shyly. “Maybe it's not a bad idea.”
“Of course it’s not,” Maria said, freeing from my reprimand and taking the young pianist by the hand. “Come, sit down, did you know that la mia mamma cooks like an angel? You'll see.”
“Maria!” I growled, clenching my fists. “What are you...?”
“Show her that what I say is true, vai, Donna,” my daughter said, pushing me by the legs.
I had no choice but to obey, going down to the kitchen to prepare that improvised dinner.
“Mm, where's Maria?” I asked dryly, leaving the food on the table, a table that was only occupied by (Y/N), who looked at me amused, shrugging.
“She told me that she wasn’t hungry and she wanted to leave us alone, you know, so that we could talk about adult stuff.”
“Oh, questa bambina…” I lamented, understanding her intentions.
“I think she's set us up, hasn't she?” the young woman joked, while I, exhausted, served her some wine.
“I'm sorry, I don't know what she was thinking,” I said, apologizing for Maria's behavior. Oh, yes, that girl would get a deserved scolding.
“It doesn't matter, it might be good to get to know each other a bit better,” (Y/N) commented. “Um…” she said, frowning as she saw how, clumsily, I handled my black veil to eat. “Um… Donna, that's not necessary. You don't need it, you can trust me.”
“You'll get scared,” I said nervously, paralyzed.
“No, I won't,” she said, with a lower voice, somewhat trembling.
It was absurd to continue with that nonsense, the best thing would be to scare that stupid girl away so she never came back and stopped… constantly sneaking into my thoughts. With a slow gesture I took off my veil, refusing to see her expression.
“Mm, wow…” the young woman sighed, with a smile that I couldn't interpret. “It's true, you two are exactly the same.”
“Don't pretend. You know I'm horrible,” I said, gripping the fork tightly.
“No, you're not… Let's see… what have you prepared for me?” the girl said, ignoring my hisses and taking a look at the dinner. “Everything looks great.”
“Pici all'amatriciana,” I murmured distrustfully.
“Oh, well, let's check if it's as good as it looks,” she said, rubbing her hands and starting to eat, without erasing that smile from her face.
At first it was a tense, silent dinner, only interrupted by (Y/N)'s praises. Everything seemed wonderful and perfect to her, even… even my face. Little by little, I suppose thanks to the wine, the conversation began to flow naturally. It seemed unlikely, but that girl and I had a lot in common and we even… we even laughed, laughed a lot.
I realized why Maria was so obsessed with her. She was a wonderful girl, kind, funny… and terribly beautiful too.
“I had a great time,” the young woman said with a tender smile as I walked with her to the door. “Really.”
“Yes, um… me too, (Y/N),” I said in a low voice, with a strange blush on my cheeks.
“You know what? I think I now understand your daughter’s insistence on me getting to know you,” she commented distractedly, looking at the floor, turning her ankle on it. “You are a very special woman, Donna.”
“Yes, special is the word,” I said suspiciously, crossing my arms.
The girl laughed, shaking her head and putting a hand on my arm.
“No, what I mean is that… well, I don't regret having gotten to know you,” she whispered in a low voice, leaving behind her words, an awkward moment of silence.
“M-Me neither,” I stammered unintentionally, smiling genuinely.
“See you,” the girl said, removing her hand from my arm with a tender smile, suddenly stepping back. “Oh, bye girls,” she said, waving her hand and looking upstairs, where Angie and Maria were discreetly spying.
“Ciao!” they said in unison when I closed the door, sighing and glancing sideways at my daughter and the doll.
“Cazzo…” I hissed, quickly climbing the stairs while those two mischievous girls fled to their room. “Hey, you two!”
“Oh, mamma, I was going to sleep,” Maria said, putting on her pajamas in a hurry.
“No, young lady, what were you thinking?” I asked, annoyed by the trick, with my hands on my hips. “Who taught you to conspire like that?”
“Um…” the girl murmured, looking unintentionally at Angie, who hid under the sheets. “I only did it for you, mamma, so that you are not alone anymore.”
“Oh, cavolo…” I lamented, with a hand on my forehead. “Maria, tesoro, you don't have to decide those things for me, do you hear me? They are adults’ matters.”
“I know but… I think you two get along wonderfully,” the girl said with an almost pleading voice. “And you two are alone…”
“Maria…”
“Besides, dinner was a complete success, you even took off your veil,” she said with an amused smile, climbing into bed while I reluctantly tucked her in. “Although you have to improve your conversation, you're very clumsy, mamma.”
“That I’m…?” I asked, feigning offense. “Well, it doesn't matter.”
“Don't you like (Y/N)? Not even a little?” Maria asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing her eyes.
“Um, I… W-Well I… yes, I like her,” I admitted embarrassed, with a sob. “But tesoro, that's not…”
“She likes you, she speaks very well of you,” she sighed, exhausted, closing her eyes. “Mamma.”
“Mm?”
“If I could go back in time and choose… I would like (Y/N) to be my other mother…” she said in a sleepy whisper, without really being aware she had said it.
I sighed, moved by her words and approached to kiss her on the forehead, thoughtful.
“Mm, I'm not surprised that you want it, tesoro... (Y/N) is... wonderful.”
Admitting that I had feelings for (Y/N) took me longer than I thought, but I couldn't help it. Without wanting to, knowing that there would never be another chance to feel love, to believe in it, I did it, I fell in love with her, madly.
Dinners were common, laughter, too. Sometimes we were alone and sometimes Angie and Maria accompanied us, making the laughter increase more and more. I began to wish for those visits, to get sad when that girl left. There was tension between us, I could notice it, I could notice her bright gaze in mine, silent pauses in which neither of us knew what to say.
Too much pressure and I was too much of a coward.
“You have to do it, mamma,” my little girl told me, while I waited for (Y/N) to arrive, walking around the living room and shaking my head.
“I can't do it…” I sighed, rejecting her proposition again.
“If you don't tell (Y/N) how you feel about her, she'll never know, imagine if she meets someone,” the girl said walking exactly like me.
“It's not that easy, Maria, you'll realize when you're older,” I said in a dark, nervous voice.
“I don't want to lose the opportunity to have another mom just because you're a coward!” the girl protested, nervous, impatient.
I turned around abruptly, gritting my teeth and crouching down next to my daughter, grabbing her by the collar of her dress.
“You think I don't know!? Huh?” I screamed furiously while my daughter, scared, covered herself with her hands.
“Mamma,” she said trembling, making me react.
“Gods… tesoro, I'm sorry,” I said, placing her dress and caressing her cheek.
Maria nodded slowly, comforting my nerves with a tender hug.
“I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to tell her that… that I love her,” I murmured, with the girl's warm hands in mine, controlling my madness.
“Calm down, mamma, I'll think of something,” she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek and going to the door, since (Y/N) had already arrived.
The smiles danced between us again. I had long since gotten used to staying in the living room while (Y/N) taught Maria, to watch her fingers caress the keys, to see her beautiful and tender face, the incredibly sweet way she treated my baby…
“Well, very well, mate,” (Y/N )said when Maria showed her what she had learned. “I think we can move on to something more complicated.”
“Yeah, hey, (Y/N),” Maria said, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. “I thought… I've never heard you play… you know, a whole song. I'm sure my mamma would really like to hear you.”
“Would her?” the young woman asked, looking at me with blushing cheeks.
I looked at her and nodded slowly, tilting my head.
“Mm, okay, well… let me see…” the girl said, searching through her folder of music. “Let's see… Oh, what do you think of this one? It has your name on it,” (Y/N) said, handing a sheet to my daughter, who looked at it carefully.
“Oh, yeah, this one is perfect,” Maria said with wide eyes, looking at me over the paper with a knowing smile.
“Ahem, well…” (Y/N) coughed as Maria stood up to sit next to me.
“Di niente,” my daughter whispered with a discreet clearing of the throat, making me frown.
“Cosa?” I asked, silenced by a nudge.
“Shh… ascolta, mamma.”
The music started to play, and I recognized it immediately.
“Ave Maria…”  (Y/N) began to sing, letting me discover her beautiful voice, the most beautiful I had ever heard. “Gratia plena… Ave, ave Dominus…”
My mind immediately transported itself to several decades ago, before Mother Miranda, before the Black Gods, when I was just a girl, a tormented girl. Yes, I remembered those times when villagers were allowed to profess the faith they chose as long as they lived with the dark deities.
They were difficult times, but nothing compared to my current life.
I remember my family singing that song at Christmas, on special occasions. My mother, my father, my little sister, my grandparents… all of us together, like a vision of what once was and never came back.
I couldn't help but let a tear run down my face as I remembered, as I imagined what would have become of me if Miranda had never been so ambitious, if my life hadn't changed, if my body hadn't changed and Maria had never been born.
No, Maria wasn't a mistake, she was the best thing that ever happened to me, my little laughing baby who wondered where her mother was, what had happened to her.
I regret many things, my little Maria, but not having you as a daughter.
I remembered those sleepless nights with inconsolable cries, I remember losing my nerves, my mind, and I remembered… I remembered how I rocked my little Maria, how I sang to her to make her fall asleep in my arms, how I sang that song to her, that Ave Maria, by Schubert…
Damn clever girl, she knew it, she knew that the melody, those words in Latin would touch my soul. I'm proud of you, tesoro.
Slowly, unable to move voluntarily, I got up from the couch while (Y/N) played and sang, approaching her, sitting next to her on the stool. She looked at me, still singing, but smiling.
I looked at the keys, bringing my hand closer to them and looking for a sign to continue. The young woman nodded, with a tender smile.
“Nunc et in hora mortis…” we sang at the same time while playing the keys. It had been a long time since I had done it. “Et in hora mortis nostrae… Ave… Maria…”
“Great!” Maria said, clapping enthusiastically along with Angie.
I paid no attention to her, my eye were fixed on (Y/N)'s and hers on mine.
“Wow, Maria told me you didn't know how to play it,” she whispered after a tense moment, without moving from my uncomfortable proximity.
“W-Well, I don't know as much as you… I'm quite rusty,” I said with a honeyed, but nervous voice.
“Angie, let's go,” Maria said, looking at me and winking, taking the doll's hand that was protesting in a childish way.
“I-I used to sing this to Maria as a lullaby,” I said, daring to break that silence. “It brings back memories to me.”
“It must have been very difficult to raise a girl on your own, right?” (Y/N) commented, playing nervously with her hands.
“Yes, it was but… it was worth it,” I said with a smile, looking at the corner where Maria ran off to.
“Yes, of course, she's an amazing girl, Donna,” the young woman said, looking away.
“Yes, I… (Y/N) I…” I stammered, with a cold sweat running down my forehead, hitting the keys unintentionally. “I'm sorry, I… I want to tell you that… when you're here I… I feel, I feel like smiling again, and seeing you leave… It makes me sad.”
The girl laughed embarrassed, lowering her gaze but letting me continue and gain enough courage to extend my trembling hand to hers, which she let me do, interlacing our fingers.
“I would understand if you said no but… I don't know, (Y/N), maybe… maybe you'd like… not to leave again.”
“Mamma! Don't tell her that! It's creepy!” Maria, who was, of course, spying, shrieked.
“Oddio… go to your room!” I shrieked nervously without taking my hand off (Y/N)'s.
“Donna,” the pianist said, putting a hand on my cheek, turning my face towards hers. “Do you want me to stay? With you?”
“I… yes…” I said looking down, something I couldn't really do, since her hand prevented me from doing so. “I want you to stay… with me, with us and…”
I couldn't continue speaking, since her lips collided with mine without warning, kissing me deeply, slowly, in a sweet and addictive way.
Without wanting to do so, I pulled away, blinking confused, looking at her sweet smile, her eyes shining as she looked at me.
“I'm in love with you, (Y/N),” I finally confessed, throwing myself back into her slow, wet kisses, into her laughter that bounced off my lips, tickling them.
“You're a wonderful woman, Donna Beneviento,” (Y/N) whispered. “I'm crazy about you… And… well, I wouldn't mind staying with you. Well, I would like that you and Maria… were my family…”
“Really?”
“Really”
“Great!” Maria shrieked, running into (Y/N)'s arms, catching her off guard. “See, mamma? It wasn't that hard.”
“Oh, taci,” I said amused, shaking my head.
“It's the happiest day of my life,” my daughter said, hugging us both. “I love you!”
“Hey, come on, stop bothering,” I said, lowering her to the floor lovingly.
“Certo... I have to talk to Angie... my little sibling is getting closer...”
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creepyclothdoll · 26 days ago
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I set Angel Free
All of this is gonna sound pretty mean but let me preface this by saying that this girl, Angel, thought she was God’s gift. And I mean that in the most literal sense. Like she’d literally introduce herself by saying, 
“My name is Angel, because I’m a gift from Heaven.”
She’d say it with this smile that was so fake and sickly-sweet you could taste your teeth rotting just looking at it. All her mannerisms were stolen from disney movies, like how she’d talk in this high-pitched little girl voice that she thought made her seem so cute. Like, yeah, yeah, you’re supposed to be nice to people like that, but it was so hard to tolerate her. 
So we messed with her. It wasn’t because she was in a wheelchair, I wanna make that clear. I don’t have a problem with people in wheelchairs. Just Angel. You’d feel the same way if you knew her. Honestly everyone did. 
She literally didn’t know where babies came from. Like one time my friends were joking about having Nick Jonas’s babies and Angel was like “how would you make the baby his?” And we had to literally explain to her where babies come from and ask where she thought they came from. She said, and I quote,
“When a mommy makes a very special wish, and gives it a special kiss and sends it to God, God cuts a piece of Heaven in the shape of a baby and wraps it in the wish and sends it back to the mommy, to grow up and be loved and kept safe on the earth forever.”
This was, by far, the stupidest thing I ever heard in my entire life. So of course I responded by telling her her mommy was lying to her, most likely because she was a whore. 
This made everyone at lunch laugh really hard because her mom, Ms CJ, was the school’s frumpiest old cat lady, and she literally had those 80’s coke-bottle glasses like that guy from Trailer Park Boys and the idea of her getting sexed up for dollar bills was enough to make you piss yourself laughing. 
Angel started crying and doing that annoying pouting thing. Frankly I doubt she even knew what a whore was, just that it was bad. I think she wanted to storm off, but it’s not like she could go very far. Which I pointed out as well, to uproarious laughter. 
Okay again, I don’t have an issue with people in wheelchairs. It was just really easy to mess with her. But this was the incident that, for some reason, made everyone think of me as the Designated Angel Watchman. Like, any time Angel did anything weird and cringey, everyone would look at me like they were Jim from the Office and I was the camera. And then if I didn’t say something funny about it, they’d get all disappointed. But when I did say something funny, it became the new Angel Thing Of The Week that everyone would be saying in the halls between classes, and I’d feel like a genius. Did it go too far sometimes? Sure. But that’s not my fault. All Angel ever had to do was act like a normal person for once and it all would have stopped. 
Angel was homeschooled her whole life until seventh grade, which is probably why she was so weird. 
I wanna be clear– she wasn’t like, mentally disabled or anything like that. That would make me look pretty bad. She was just weird. She was always singing by herself– pop songs, disney princess songs, sometimes songs in japanese from anime. She was convinced she had the best voice in the class, and flaunted it all the time like she thought we were gonna be impressed. She wore these huge ugly cat sweaters with glitter and frills every single day. 
And any time we watched a movie in class, she’d laugh this awful snickering long laugh at ANY joke and then bawl her goddamn eyes out if there was even a little bit of a sad part. It was so annoying!
She refused to do anything outside her comfort zone– no scary stories, no new foods, no games she’d never played before. She turned her nose up at anything unfamiliar.
So let me be clear: Angel deserved most of what we did to her. 
But she didn’t deserve what I did that last day.
Before I met Angel, I thought Ms CJ was okay. After, though, I realized she was batshit. She only let Angel come to our school for seventh grade because she knew she’d be Angel’s homeroom teacher and that she’d be able to flit in and coddle her throughout the day. Ms CJ was Angel’s constant guardian, which should be humiliating for anyone who has shame, but Angel loved the attention. She’d beg Ms CJ to stay with her longer every time she popped in during class. And that sucked, because I couldn’t say shit about anything cringe Angel did when Ms CJ was around, so I missed a lot of really good opportunities to mess with her. 
Ms CJ always sat with her daughter at lunch, which was honestly bad parenting because there was no way Angel would ever be able to make any friends like that. Ms CJ never let Angel join the rest of us for recess. Or for field trips. Once during a group project in French class, as a joke, I invited Angel to a made-up party in the woods. Angel replied by saying,
“I can’t go if it’s in the woods, silly! My mommy doesn’t let me outside!”
She said this like it was the most normal thing in the world for her, so I asked some clarifying questions. She explained, in her girly sing-song voice, that she’s not ever allowed to be outside for more than a few seconds at a time, and only when her mommy is there to hold her hand. 
“My mommy doesn’t want me to get lost,” she said.
“It’s not like you can run away,” I joked.
“I can run,” Angel replied, pouting. “Look.” She kicked her legs slightly. I heard the clack of chains. 
That was the first time I ever noticed that Angel was shackled around her ankles. 
“I run all the time at home,” Angel bragged. “I run alllll over, over all the rooms. I wish I could run here too, but it’s too dangerous. The windows,” she added, like that would clarify it. I was baffled. So she didn’t even need the wheelchair.
“Um, why are you chained? Are you like, under house arrest or something?” I asked.
“No. My mommy just doesn’t want me to get lost. She’s the only one with the key.”
“Your mommy sounds like a psycho. You should call the cops,” I replied.
The French teacher overheard her crying and she got me sent to the principal’s office again. But I swear this time I wasn’t being smart or anything, I was genuinely freaked out for her. I told my friends, who all agreed with me that it was weird. But I guess I hadn’t been the first one to notice the chains. The others who had assumed it was because Angel was like, prone to fits or something. That made sense for Angel, but it still made me feel weird and didn’t sit right.
My mommy doesn’t want me to get lost.
I started to feel sorry for her. She was still weird and annoying, but she was weird and annoying because her mom was out of her mind and wouldn’t let her be a normal kid. How was she supposed to learn to be normal if she couldn’t even go outside, for god’s sake? 
I still messed with Angel when she did weird stuff like quote anime characters in class and bring stuffed animals to school. But if it was ever just her and me, I was nice to her and asked her stuff about her life. 
Her favorite movie was The Little Mermaid. No, she had never been to summer camp. Her favorite time of the week was church. She disliked onions and wanted to be a vegetarian except that her mom was very insistent about her getting enough protein in her diet. She loved those Warrior cat books and wanted to be a veterinarian someday. She didn’t have a dad. Ms CJ took the shackles off her ankles only once they were inside their house and all the doors and windows were closed and locked. That was also when Ms CJ took the locked metal bar off of her chair so she could get up. The bar went over her waist and prevented her from standing. She wore those big ugly cat sweaters every day so we wouldn’t see it. Her mom didn’t want people to know about her special condition, which, as far as I could tell, was all made-up. Any time I asked about her “condition,” she’d just say some stuff about being a very special heaven baby or whatever.
“Do you ever think about running away?” I asked finally. “Why don’t you just… leave?”
She looked shocked.
“Of course not!” she said. “I love my mommy. Where would I even go?” She shuddered visibly. 
The shudder pissed me off. I blew up at her and called her a whiny scaredy baby until she cried, and I got sent to the principal again. 
 She didn’t even want to be normal. That’s what pissed me off the most. 
It was springtime, and the snow was finally mostly gone. I’d been in Mr Bevends’ science class before, so I knew what to expect that day– first real nice day of spring was always a “class outside” day. We’d go out and look at moss and leaf buds and stuff and he’d talk about natural changes during the season. It was all a big excuse for us to get outside– no one liked it more than Mr Bevends himself. He was so excited to announce we were taking class outside, he didn’t even notice Angel’s face go stark white as he led the rest of the class out the doors.
“I– I can’t–” she stuttered, but I interrupted her.
“It’s the most beautiful day in months,” I said. “It’s a perfect day. You’ll love it.”
“I’m not allowed,” she whispered, embarrassed. 
“You wanna be a baby forever?” I said. “Come on. You’ve never broken a single rule in your life. Live a little.”
After a long moment, Angel nodded. She followed me out the back doors of the school, onto the sidewalk. I walked next to her for awhile. She looked scared, but also fascinated by the dripping icicles from the roof gutter above us, and the ice-blue sky above, and the rows of black trees stretching up into the air. 
“It’s cold,” she said. 
“Yeah, that happens when you’re outside for more than a few seconds.”
“I think… I like the cold.”
We caught up to the rest of the science class, and listened to Mr Bevends talk about leaves and crap. Angel oscilated between this vibrating excitement and a frightened, hunted look, like her mom was gonna show up at any second and punish her for disobeying and doing one normal thing in her life. Angel touched the trees reverently. My friends made fun of her for “fondling the foliage.” I didn’t join in this time. I had bigger things planned.
When we broke off into groups of two, I went with Angel. My friends knew I was up to something great then, so they followed us, chuckling eagerly. I grinned back at them when Angel wasn’t looking.
We were supposed to identify different types of trees in the woods behind the school. I helped push Angel’s chair up the hill– it was insanely heavy. The wheels snagged on the muddy grass, but it didn’t matter. It’s not like she actually needed the thing.
“What are you doing?” Angel asked with rising terror as I leaned over her and produced the key. 
Everyone knew Mr Bevends always had class outside the first nice day of spring. It was really easy to slip the key from Ms CJ’s lanyard when she always left it out on her desk during homeroom. It was the one with little white wings on the chain. 
“I’m setting you free,” I said. I unlocked the shackles around her feet first, then the bar around her waist. She screamed at me to stop the entire time, but I knew I was doing the right thing. Someone had to teach her to be independent. Someone had to throw her out of her comfort zone. 
And that’s what I did. I set Angel free.
Angel rose from the chair. 
And rose. And rose.
Her shoes went over her head. She kicked her legs wildly as they drifted rapidly upwards. Angel shrieked and tried to grab onto the top of the chair– the handles, even trying to clutch a handful of my hair– desperate to stay anchored to the ground. But it was too late. She was already six feet in the air. 
Then twelve. 
Then thirty.
I couldn’t do anything other than watch on in shock as Angel shot up into the sky like a helium balloon. She twisted and clawed at the open air. 
It happened in seconds. One second, we were watching Angel make frantic grabbing motions at the ground, howling with terror, and the next second all we could see of her was the glint of the sunlight on her glittery pink cat sweater as she disappeared up into the vast emptiness above.
When Mr Bevends came to see what was the matter, all any of us could do was to point up. But by then, she was just a pinprick against the deep, endless blue sky. 
Then there was nothing.
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maddascanbe-blog · 9 months ago
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So if anyone is wondering why the next redesigns are taking so long. This is why...
I got distracted when I started planning a Miraculous Au where the characters lives were swapped but not their miraculous. I'm sure I'm not the first to think of this but it's the first time I've ever written it.
In this Au the Dupain-Cheng company either owns a large chain of bakeries or sells baked goods in stores across the world (like Hostess or Little Debbie) Tom and Sabine are still very happy, and good parents. Marinette chose to be homeschooled after repeated bullying from classmates (Not Chloe) when she was in primary school.
Adrien's mom passed away a few years earlier since they didn't have the funds for her to live longer with her illness. Afterwards Gabriel threw himself into running his tailoring business. Adrien tends to avoid being at home as much as possible, since he and his father can only seem to talk while fighting.
Since they didn't have the money to pay for a tutor and Gabriel didn't have time, Adrien has been attending public school for most of his life. He's been bullied for years, by one person in particular, and has very few friends since people fear having that attention turned on them.
For her last year of Middle School/Collège Marinette has decided to face her fears and go to public school again. Only to chicken out before even making it to the door on day one, much to the chagrin of Luka, her childhood best friend.
The next day, Adrien is in the process of trying to get gum off of his seat when Marinette comes in. She is told by Luka (Adrien's Bully) that Adrien put it there since Luka was saving the seat for her. Unwilling to face another bully at on the first day she buckles down to just try and make it through the day.
That's when she meets Ayla, who is calm and collected. Her unwavering chill helps balance out Marinette's frantic nature. Marinette's first new friend!
Later Adrien explains that he was only trying to get the gum off the seat, and that Luka had put it there to spite Adrien before they knew Marinette was coming.
Marinette decides to give him chance, and gives him her umbrella.
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