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The world is challenging right now. I’m not sure what is happening but the kiddos needs have shifted so drastically. There are 7-8 year olds who have the needs that our 13-14 year olds used to have. And 13-14 year olds are tearing up our city, stealing every Kia and Hyundai they can find. I am quite happy with my 16+ crowd, who seem to have the most sense at the moment. I’m thankful that they are focusing on their next steps and doing the hard work so they can have a more stable future. Our kids are doing big thing- graduating high school, getting their GEDs, enrolling in trade programs, applying to college, working on their mental health, maintaining employment, budgeting, saving, increasing their independent living skills, and building relationships. They are amazing.
We’ve all shed a lot of tears, and battled through the hard times, and we ride the ups and downs, but everyone is making forward progress.
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I am thankful I live in a liberal state. I am thankful that I can continue to have conversations with the youth I work with regarding safe sex, birth control, and the choice they have if they are pregnant. I am thankful that I can continue to provide all the support that they need to obtain birth control and to make choices regarding their bodies. I am thankful that my state will continue to support LGTBQ rights and that I can continue to affirm my youth and advocate for medical treatment for my transgender youth. I am thankful that our governing agency expects and requires this from us and that it is not just a segment of us who are rogue.
It is terrifying to see what is happening in our country. It is terrifying to see neighboring states where these rights are being stripped from women and the potential dominos that will fall that will impact LGTBQ friends. It is terrifying to see 4 men and one women make a decision that impacts millions of people. How have we relegated so much power to so few people?
I can boot one of my kids to the couch if anyone needs to get themselves to a safe state to get the care they need and to have a space to recuperate.
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One of my kiddos graduated from college! I was so excited to be there to support her. It was a loooong four years. I am proud of all the hard work that she put in to earn her degree.
I am proud of her because she persevered through difficult times. I am proud of her because she set a goal and accomplished her goal. I am proud of her because she took space and breaks when she needed space and breaks. I am proud of her that she built long lasting relationships during her four years.
I am also so proud of our youth who: will graduate high school this year, completed their vocational programs, worked, and completed their associates. I am proud of our youth who are prioritizing their mental health.
Getting the college degree is awesome but it isn’t everything. The journey and all that goes into the journey is worth the celebration.
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7 more years of parenting teenagers. How am I going to survive?!?
I might need to go work with foster babies for the next 7 years. I don’t know if I can handle teens all day at work and teens in my house…which, guess what, the teens in my house text/call me the entire time I am at work and the teens at work text/call me all evening/night. Too many teens!!!!
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It isn’t about babies. It is about control.
If it was about babies, the foster care system would be fully funded and we would have enough money to pay enough people to keep babies safe.
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The worst of work days are ones that are both emotionally and physically taxing. Yesterday was a 15 hour day, with a far drive in a 12 passenger van, packing up a dorm room (how do kids fit so much in a dorm room!), and trying to support a kiddo who I’ve met once. She was struggling hard. And it rained all day. I’m spent but I need to drag myself out of bed to get to the office because there are too many staff on vacation for spring break.
This really should have taken far less time but the kiddo was having a rough time and needed space and time. I am so thankful for the foster parent at the end of our trip who put up with my multiple text messages notifying her that our arrival would be delayed and then helped us move items at 10 pm, was so very kind, and then thanked me! She also came outside in her socks to make sure I left safely. Since there is like a 50/50 chance of being car jacked (most likely by a 13-15 year old) or shot right now in our city.
On my drive last night from our office building back home one of my former kiddos sent me a text inviting me to her college graduation ceremony. 🎉 I am so proud of her! She overcame , overcame, and overcame some more to get this degree. Especially, with COVID flipping everything upside down.
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Texas continues to be a shit box of a state. The governor has overstepped his authority in ordering that child welfare agencies consider parents who affirm their transgender children as abusive. The legislature previously considered this matter and declined to make it law. He does not have the authority to make a unilateral decision and to order that child welfare agencies comply.
I am proud to work in a state and for a governing child welfare body that affirms transgender youth and expects that we as child welfare professionals will do everything possible to affirm the transgender youth that we serve. We ensure that they receive appropriate services, supports, and medical care.
Let’s also remember that TX is a state in which they are not capable of safely placing children in foster homes and with frequency have children sleeping in offices.
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Some days we are reminded that we make 50 small decisions in carrying out a task. Many of them seem inconsequential at the time but can have significant impact. We can’t be lax with our safety-we need to be intentional in those 50 small decisions in attempt to decrease negative outcomes.
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Almost two years of this pandemic and I am just exhausted. Several people on my unit have COVID, many other units are down workers as well. I’ve been trying to figure out for the last two days if this scratchiness in the back of my throat is an actual symptom or paranoia. I tested several times due to my exposure at work and I’m negative…so I must just be paranoid.
A ton of our kids have Covid, so we are trying to be creative in providing support and keeping track of how they are doing, etc. I had one kiddo on FaceTime almost the entire day while I was working on a million other things. Mostly she was just sick and lonely. Fortunately, just bad cold miserable type symptoms. I did a handful of instacart orders to have supplies dropped off to different kids. My credit card company panicked and locked my card. I had to call them to have them unlock my card. Next time I need to spread out the orders because I was having a hard time keeping track of the various text threads and requests regarding replacement items from the shoppers.
I think tomorrow I am going to work on little ‘covid sucks’ bags for all our kids while I am on 5 hours of zoom meetings. I need to go scour the stores tonight to see if I can get some more at home Covid tests (I got some the other night!), masks, some treats, and happy items.
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I was giving discharge information to our clerk on one of my youth who aged out of foster care when the moratorium ended on 9/30/21. We provide all of the basic demographic information in addition to other data. I give the birthdate and the social work intern sitting close by says “oh! I have the same DOB!” Now I feel ancient. And my mind is blown that interns and foster kids are the same age. Whaaaat?!
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I just cannot with Texas. By far one of the most horrific states when it comes to foster care-with foster children sleeping in CPS offices due to a lack of foster homes. But, please, let’s make abortion illegal so there can be more foster children sleeping in CPS offices. Just brilliant.
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How is it that I can call anyone for work and meet with extreme higher ups and be completely fine. Yet, in my home life I give myself a panic attack calling a nail salon to schedule my kid an appointment and another panic attack actually taking her to the appointment. Jeeeeez the social anxiety.
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We have 10 youth in college! College, when you are a foster kid is a miracle. It isn’t the same as all of these other kids who just go to college because it’s expected that you go to college. These kids are doing hard things under hard circumstances. And that is absent of the layer of Covid, which makes things 100x harder. I am so proud of each of them.
Because they are doing hard things and have no one to call when they get in a jam, I become the problem solver. Saturday morning and I’m running to Walmart to get a phone card because one of my gals is out of data on her phone. Generally, not an emergency for most kids-even most of our kids. For her-it’s a lifeline to communicating, getting meals, and everything else. My only disappointment is that I went to Target and they did not have them so I had to go into the dreaded Walmart.
I’ve put text books, dorm deposits, phone cards, and groceries on my credit card. (All later reimbursed by my county)
I’ve spent so many hours sorting financial aid packages over the last few weeks. We keep working the problems until we have a solution.
I respond to kids in the evening and on the weekend. I send check in texts so they know someone is thinking about them.
This turned down a different direction than I had intended-but since I’m here. Older teens, teens who are going to college, teens who are living in independent living programs, all of them, need a reliable, supportive adult. They need you. You can be that for a teen/young adult in foster care. Be the place they go on Christmas or Thanksgiving. It can be formal or it can be informal. I’m sure these kids would love to be calling and texting someone else besides me-because as I’ve been told many times, I’m just not that cool. 🤣
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A friend’s father died of COVID yesterday after being in the hospital for months. And a dear family friend was hospitalized today. His unvaccinated adult daughter passed COVID to him. He is vaccinated but has other risk factors. I am so sad…and worried. I wear my mask 100% of the time at work, and in public places. But, at this point, I want to start ordering groceries, etc online.
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The circles….
I have a kiddo who sent me a screen shot of a document that she received via email, that she wanted assistance with. It came through blurry, so I asked that she resend it or forward me the email. She told me I was old and blind and everyone else could read the screenshot. Ok, possible, but doesn’t change the fact I cannot see it, so resend it. She then responded that I was just nosy. YOU SENT ME THE DOCUMENT! Send it again, don’t send it….whatever. 10 seconds later I get the email with the document. Okkkkkkk.
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Eviction moratoriums have made it impossible for us to find post foster care housing for our youth. I called 36 apartment complexes today. Of those, one complex had an available one bedroom apartment. Rent is 850, complex requires income to be 3x the rent, income has to be 2550. Even working full time, our youth do not make that much per month. Tomorrow will be many calls to private landlords. Fingers crossed that I find something that isn’t a crack house…..
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20% of our positions are currently vacant. I’m guessing that 50% has quit/retired since the pandemic started. They keep hiring but we can only retain a small portion of new hires through the long training process and experienced workers are like ✌🏻 Oh, and probably 10% are on some sort of long term medical leave.
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