#Dave's watching lame movies again. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alfiely-art · 5 months ago

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Finished act 4!!!!

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Act 3 reaction here

Intermission reaction here

Act 4 reaction:

“Next image” or “end game” What. What we just started ???

Ohhh I like this music tho

YAY JOHN AND HIS SWAGGY CLOTHES!!!!

This looks like an rpg lol

HI??? FROG??? SALAMANDER???? Whatever you are you're adorable

Hi adhd amphibian

These guys are great I love then

Ohhh they're salamanders

This section would be a lot more fun if I could. Play Homestuck. Curse my computer for not allowing me to read homestuck

This section is also taking a very long time to load. It is pictures you're fine phone

YAY BACK TO FUN STUFF!!! HI RENEGADE

DONT KILL WV DONT KILL WV

Did he lift thr pumpkin off wv's head. Gay

HELP don't kill him he's turned gay it's okay

Yay hi Jade!!!!

???? There IS a pumpkin there what the fuck

FUCK YEAH GLASSES PESTERING!!! LIKE HAL!!! BUT SQUARE!!!!!

Love the difference between John and Dave's reactions to Jade's dog

hi karkat!!!!!! You're being so mean… be nice to john or I'm Gonna bite you

Man I can like. Feel John's frustration karkat you're being so annoying I'm gonna bite you

Dave schizo arc … no I know he's being silly about the psychosis thing

Slur count: 9

“I love him” Dave why are you so random. Good for you though beeeee who you aaaaaare for your priiiiiide

ROSE IS IN PAN LAND!!!! They're putting chemicals in the water to turn the Rose's pan

Okay so we're going through the game thing again

???? Dave why do you want john to drink your piss,

YAYAYAYAYA THE SPRITE !!!! YOI WILL BE SO ANGSTY LATER

Well that's one way to wake Jade up

I think WV, PM, and AR could be a poly

GO JOHN WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

Hello?????

GRANDPA???????????

JOHN NO BAD CHOICE

Oh :( Rose's mom left…

Egg

Slur count: 10

Okay which troll is this. Don't be rude about Rose's mom!!!! Bad troll

Best hatefriends forever <33 who are you

“Shit the bed” KARKAT TALKS LIKE ME!!!!

I understand why i was told i am karkat-coded

Slur count: 11

Laughing at a blind girl? Not cool egbert

OHH it's that one. The. Vriskas girlfriend!!!!

Guy with cat ears <4333

Hello???

Awooga

Oh. Oh that map is. Not great

GO ROSE GO ROSE !!!!

Yo that shot looks sickkkk…

Yo rose is metal af

“TG: i command her alright i am like the pimpmaster hustledaddy of all snippy bookshrews” Dave what

Okay my font changed here. Easier to read tbh. Idk if it'll translate to tumblr but oh well

Omg… yuri?????

Help why do trolls sound so gay

Oh green troll is pretty… what's her name….

Honktraband

I KNOW THIS ONE!!! Great rap Tavros

Whatever video they linked to for “I got a present for you casey” is unavailable… rip

Trolls watch movies with modern manga titles. Will keep in mind

Terezi is so right. John is a stupidly adorable little guy

OMG PM IS A QUEEN!!! SLAY

Meow

Awww… jaspersprite kinda types like my buddy. Meow meow

John's blasting off again

Did I miss something. When did Dave get a suit. When did Cal get added to the sprite. Wha

Yo what. John and Jade died??? Terezi noooo why did you ruin their session…

Slur count: 12

FUCK YEAH DAVESPRITE!!!! THERES THE GUY!!!!! I LOVE YOU DAVESPRITE

That didn't happen the way I thought it would. I think it's sweet that Dave chose to become a sprite to protect his friends. If they don't treat him nicely I'm killing all of them

But dang… doomed timeline…

OH MY GOD CAPRAIN PLANET

Dave and Davesprite are so chill. Love them

AWWW. John remembered Dave's note….

Ohhh sick… jack is a queen(?) Now!!!! The guardian people are fighting!!! Yayyyyyy

Oh thank God Hussie will explain what's been going on

CAL IS REAL!!!!!

My reaction to Hussies's joke ._. That was. Lame

Aww. Terezi just wants to be his friend :> this better not be a trick my baby boy is so gullible

ROSE'S PLACE!!!

Dr Meowgon Spengler

John :( he's real Dave. John don't be ungrateful… honestly it's fair of Davesprite to be mad. Like John died in his timeline. He went back and chose to help the other Dave and all his friends and. Ourghh. Be nice to him

Yooo cal gets a cute little outfit !!! He's zipping around <333

HELP HE PASSED OUT

Awwww… more bunnies!!!

IS THIS SOLLUX. I've heard of this one. Eridan lover

They are jamming!!

CAL NO

Maplehoof Maplehoof

JADES GRANDPA!!!

Haha get pranked

I love the differences in how Rose and John name things

John you're So stupid why would you just stand on it

FUCK YEAH CAL IS HERE

Fuck yeah ride the pony

AR so swaggy

Okay so. I swear. These guys are the midnight crew. That is literally Deuce. I'm not crazy right. They look the same. Maybe this is their sleepy selves… godtier… do they get godtier. Hmm

FUCK YEAH JADE

NO NOT GRANDPA FUCK WAIT

Idk what just happened in that animation but yay WV

Needlewands!!!!

Omg that's such a cute outfit for Rose I love it

Welcome to the party motherfuckers

Okay I'm really excited to see what Jade’s sprite is

I don't remember Dave getting thay suit. Did he steal it from future Dave. I mean future Dave doesn't really need clothes anymore but…

Oh okay yeah it's future Dave's. but cool!! Not a bad suit at all

Beautiful sword actually

Dave you're scaring the hoes

Dave looks like the autism creature in that selfie he took

Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow

Wizard fanfic!!!!

Dave is so real here. Rose and her mom could've talked :(

DAVE THERES A GUY IN UR HOUSE

Uhhhh. Dave ded :( that's not good. Present Dave you gotta fix this

Man what if that Dave was still alive

BETTY CROCKER

Nanna!!!!

I'm gonna bet 10$ that the goo John's getting is gonna be the alpha kids

FUCK YEAH I KNEW IT!!!!

Oh there are more beta kids as well okay

They are holding hands !

karkar you can't say that. Wait that's not his name. Whatever. Karkat bad!!! Unless you're like me as I am like you. Schizophrenic I mean.

Awww.. Lil dirk loves Lil cal… that's so sweet

Babysitter au!!! John be careful with all these babies

These babies are uglJAKE PUT THE GUNS DOWN!!!!

Karkat never say daddy again thank you

J???? JAKE??? YOU KILLED HER GRANDPA

Harley… like Jade Harley…

Jack Noir…

That was the best ending of an act. Oh my fucking god. I am crying

#homestuck #homestuck reaction #live reaction #textpost #first time reading homestuck

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scumscuttlers · 8 months ago

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Random Trivia

Just some stuff that's been on my brain about what Inezra likes / has picked up since she started interacting with aliens.

Human Topics

Inezra has been exposed these things to one way or the other, either through conversations with humans, aliens somewhat familiar with them, or as a result of consuming and asking questions about human media. If she remembers anything at all, if only comes out if she can connect it to something relevant in the moment and/or can use that knowledge to make fun of someone.

Christianity, which spiraled into a search that ended up in a deep dive into Christian Fundamentalism and assorted topics. She doesn't care about that part, but she does like the murder and violence in the old testament. Jesus getting nailed to the cross is pretty cool. No clue why humans act so weird about it.

Santa Claus. Why does an old bearded guy go around giving wrigglers presents? Funny that bad kids get coal though.

Pigments. You mean they don't use blood? Like at all? They're out here using artificial sources entirely? Okay, kind of lame but whatever.

Human family structures and relationships. She doesn't really care about the complexities involved in human family trees, and has trouble differentiating between them. It doesn't matter much to her, considering most if not all of the humans she interacts with have dead lusii, families, or both. It does make watching human media suck sometimes. Who is who? Why are they acting like that? Are they related?

The confederate flag. This was briefly explained to her as something humans carry when they're stupid. Why would you fly a flag when you lost that badly?

Crime. For the most part it seems like humans are awfully worried about shit that doesn't matter, like murder, or dismemberment, or maiming to the point where they have insurance for this very thing. Seems weird.

Countries. The fact that there's so many different countries on Earth makes her mad. You guys couldn't figure your shit out and put one person in charge?

American States. Again with the multiple municipalities and boundaries. Why is America not just one big country, or a handful of territories ruled over by the same entity properly. Why do the states have such stupid names? What the fuck is an Arkansas?

Science Fiction. Humans' idea of the future in their past media reads as very silly to Inezra. Though she thinks franchises like Alien are interesting enough, when viewed from the standpoint that systems humans knew that were somewhat simple would be easier to repair (re: CRT monitors and whatnot). At least they had robots.

Human Expansionism. Humans dreamed big, didn't know shit, and then also didn't manage to go any further than their moon before they blew their whole planet up. They couldn't even conquer all the land on their own planet and use it effectively. Kind of funny, not gonna lie!

Human Phrases

Y'all, die badly (Dave's fault), you do you, other assorted pieces of slang and references that are actually difficult to keep track of. Maybe I'll update this section later.

Human Media

She isn't a fan of most human media! She doesn't think they effectively use their screen time at all. This is mostly a complaint about shows like Why Women Kill. They already spent 3 hours showing you reasons why. Go ahead and get to the part where the husbands get murdered, thank you.

She dislikes unrealistic violence in movies because it takes the fun out of it. Realistic fear and fighting are better. She especially likes when humans use tools in their environment to beat monsters. Go human. Sorry you're weak, but at least you can put your neurons to use.

She does like:

Pearl (2022)

Alien (1979)

Gone Girl (2014)

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Xena: Warrior Princess

Miscellaneous

Owns a cat. She hasn't given it a name.

She has spent a couple days in jail, but she hasn't been to prison.

Likes

Alternian Wrestling. She has an account on the official forums and regularly uses it to start flame wars and wish death on troll's favorite wrestlers.

Meat buns. She's a regular patron of a combination food truck / restaurant hub called GastroGrub where they're readily available.

Chocolate Ice Cream.

#OOC #[Meta Post]#[Character Info]#// It's a little crazy under the cut.#// Will probably do another one of these later or add onto it in the future.

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charlotterenaissance · 1 year ago

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it's been a couple weeks and i still haven't emotionally recovered from watching what i thought would be a lame low-budget family road trip movie that i was only watching for lea thompson and dave foley being a married couple and having my heart ripped out by the two of them having a quiet breakdown of lea thompson and dave foley acting their asses off at each other with the wife trying to recapture a perfect moment she can never have again and the husband just tired of everything because why recapture that moment when he wasn't a part of it to begin with and he's just come to the realization that maybe she doesn't love him after all, but then they reconcile and have a vacation at home instead because sometimes all you can do is make more perfect memories

#california dreaming #it's on youtube #my girlfriend and i were goofing on it being a little lame and off the wall #but we were sobbing by the end #honestly it was a lot better than it had right to #it was like being transported right back to my shouty home #dave foley #lea thompson

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callmearcturus · 2 years ago

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Hi arc! Same anon that didnt realize ktowl had john wick influences until i saw the john wick 4 trailer. Just wanted to tell you that you were right and John Wick is very fun! I've been watching it with my mom and brother little by little whenever we have a little free time. We are starting the 3rd and i just wanted to tell you that now i have an even greater appreciation for ktowl. That scene where Santino is dining at the continental and implies he would be ok staying there forever bc he can have a different plate everyday... it reminded me of ktowl's Dave and how Santino would’ve definitely lost it had he been confined to the continental forever. Just thank you again for writing ktowl! (Also the actual name for the currency sounds kinda lame when werewild was already ingrained in my brain)

wait what are the coins called in john wick, i honestly have no fucking idea........

glad you like the movies! John Wick functions as such a specific mood piece, I'm a fan.

#Anonymous

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tilbageidanmark · 3 months ago

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Movies I watched this week (#188):

In 1948 Edith Piaf gave Charles Aznavour a portable camera, and for 35 years he recorded his extraordinary life constantly. Le regard de Charles (2019) is a little compilation of these home movies.

The Aznavour sound is one of the most evocative memories for me and it always wraps me with unbearable sense of nostalgia and mortality. (I even saw him around 2010 in a live concert at Universal Studio together with Stella :( ....)

🍿

Evening Classes, (1967) the only Jacques Tati film I haven't seen before. A lesson in physical comedy. Mime school teacher Monsieur Hulot demonstrates to a group of business types how to be funny without words. From smoking, to tennis, fishing and horse-riding, to how to stumble when walking up the stairs. (Screenshot Above).

Bonus: As I prepare myself to re-watch all of Tati's movies again, I enjoyed the Accident from his 'Trafic' and Terry Jones talking about 'Playtime' again.

🍿

Anders Thomas Jensen is my favorite Danish screenwriter, and Susanne Bier directed 6 of his scripts. Brothers (2004) is the 5th one I've seen (and I'm going to find 'Open Hearts' next). But it's only a second-tier drama about a good brother and a "bad" one. The good one is married to Connie Nielsen, but after he goes MIA in Afghanistan, as part of the Danish rescue forces, his brother steps in to console his family. There are two little girls who play her daughters, and one of them is really good. I am not surprised to see that she is now becoming an established actress. [*Female Director*]

🍿

"Today I learnt" about French film-making duo Jean-Marie Straub and Danièle Huillet, noted for their intellectual style and communist politics. I'm surprised that I never even heard of them before. Artemide’s Knee (2008) was the first cinematic poem made by the husband after the death of his wife. 2 strangers carry a stilted discourse in a small clearing in the forest, while birds are twitting. It's philosophical and "different", but quiet absorbing. (And I need to listen to much more Mahler, obviously!)

🍿

"Where is Homer? Where is Kazantzakis? Where is Jack London?!"

Invasion of the body snatchers, the 1978 remake, the ultimate "replacement" conspiracy plot. With Robert Duvall as an uncredited priest on a swing, and poor Brooke Adams who could do this unforgettable thing by fluttering her pupils. Great atmospheric build-up in a very dark San Francisco. And the creepy mud bath spa... A great re-watch. ♻️. 7/10.

🍿

The Pizza Triangle, my 3rd by Ettore Scola, and the worst example of Commedia all'italiana I've seen so far. A working class ménage à trois with Monica Vitti, Marcello Mastroianni, and young Giancarlo Giannini, so it had a lot going for it. But the comedy was unfocused and muddled, and all three did so much better elsewhere. 2/10.

🍿

2 Gene Hackman comedies:

🍿 With Clinton and 'The West Wing', 90's Hollywood developed a light sub-genre of liberal president romance-comedy, the best of which were 'Dave' and 'The American President'. Most other comedies from that period however dated badly and stale since. Welcome to Mooseport (2004) is one of these. It employs the same cliches, the presidential dog on a leash, the mistresses, the smarmy young aide, the secret service allays, but it's not very good. Plumber Ray Romano duels with retired President Hackman for the affection of Maura Tierney, but he's just not funny. Sadly, this was Gene Hackman's last film. He could be great in a good comedy ('Young Frankenstein', 'Get Shorty', 'The birdcage'), but this was weak. 3/10.

🍿 Heartbreakers was also the last film of a great star, Ann Bancroft. But the machinations of the female 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' mother and daughter con artists team, working to scam old billionaire Hackman out of his fortune was so badly-made, I could barely stay for 30 minutes. We need much better stories of women conning men.

🍿

A lame low-low-budget horror parody from 2001, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Wikipedia sums it up as "Jesus Christ's modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Ontario, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo". Unbelievable schlock presented un-ironically on a community college B-level. I used to like reading Joe Bob Briggs's 1980's drive-in reviews, and he could have given it 3 stars, but not me: Maybe not the absolute worst movie I ever saw, but close to it.

🍿

3 by Canadian cartoonist Richard Condie:

🍿 The big snit was nominated for the Oscars in 1985. It a 'Laugh-Out-Loud' ride about an older couple whose Scrabble game is being interrupted by a worldwide nuclear attack (which they don't notice). The style is 'Blue Meanies' from 'Yellow Submarine' + Beaker from 'The Muppet Show'. Highly recommended! 10/10.

🍿 Relatable! For anybody who ever suffered from procrastination, Getting Started is a perfect way not to do what they have to do for 12 additional minutes. A pianist finds all kinds of excellent excuses to not practice for his upcoming Debussy concert. 9/10.

🍿 John Law and the Mississippi Bubble (1978) was an unexpected lesson in economic theory, illustrating a chapter from French history. It was about the Scottish economist who advised the French regent to ditch gold and substituting it with paper currency. High school level explanation, drawn in Condie's irreverent style.

🍿

Pink Floyd Live in Venice is a concert film, performed on July 15 1989. It was staged free of charge on a floating barge on the Grand Canal, in front of 200,000 spectators. The live experience must have been amazing, and it was transmitted worldwide for 100 million viewers, but as a concert film it was ordinary.

🍿

A bunch of shorts:

🍿 Black Slide (2021), a surprisingly beautiful story by an Israeli animator about a timid boy at a water park. Recommended! 8/10.

🍿 Détour (2017), my 7th by Michel Gondry. A young girl’s tricycle gets lost as a French family leaves home for their 'vacance', so it miraculously rides all the way to the beach, to reunite with its little owner. Cute and inventive, as always, and shot on an iPhone. 8/10.

🍿 "I need Space!" Comfort Creatures (1989), the original Aardman mockumentary with 'man on the street' interviews of zoo animals. Nick Parks first Oscar win. Very sad. Re-watch ♻️.

🍿 Amazing Maize, a fascinating British Pathé educational explainer about how corn grows. Using pretty amazing time-lapse and mgnification for its time (1933). [*Female Director*]

🍿 The 2010 Brazilian The tenant is about a large soap bubble traveling through the many rooms in a house which is being renovated. It explores the space looking for an open window. Surprisingly, it's quite suspenseful.

🍿 Much better now, a cute Portuguese short about a surfing bookmark found in an old book.

🍿 Spacy (1981), an acclaimed experimental short by avant-garde artist Takashi Ito. The camera jumps and whirls uncontrollably inside an empty gymnasium, creating an epileptic-psychedelic effect. M'eh.

🍿 Charlie Chaplin tries to ride a penny-farthing bicycle is a short behind-the-scene archival clip from 1919.

🍿 Meanwhile, I'm waiting for the new series Common Side Effects, from the creator of 'Office Space', 'Idiocracy' and 'Silicon Valley'...

🍿

(My complete movie list is here).

#movies #Jacques Tati #tati #monsieur hulot

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the-firebird69 · 3 months ago

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It would be very easy to assemble and produce these. This design is very simple and our son and daughter wanted us to use it and use the frame for all sorts of different bikes and you don't have to modify it much it's good for a dirt bike and Enduro a street bike a cruiser you can use it for anything if you were changing a little but really it's pretty damn good. And it was accommodate a smaller motor or bigger motor and the frame would be ally so try to look at doing this and we found out that people are saying they don't like it what they mean is that they just don't want us to make something useful like that and we're coming around proper that are within everyone's missed to try to fix it to talk about it to squeeze it in use backwards code hateful words for it all sorts of dumb things don't work you need to beat them up and take their information and we've been doing it for a while and nobody could seem to figure it out so we are going to have to take over even for us are pretty lame so we were putting an effort in right now it is a solid effort and it is big it's really big we don't have forever to do it but we have to put an effort in and out people in the midwest are starting to see it they're impossible and don't want them to do anything and took them having a personal experience for that to happen. A lot of stuff we are rolling on getting things going building up businesses getting factories up and we are finding them in the way every single time they are obstructing everything some cases more than others but in every case it is Mac proper. We're now struggling for our lives to get things like car factories operational is a very difficult thing we're going to have to try and work with people on this we did it last time it didn't work but we see that you're going after them a lot harder all over the place to get information so we're saying in the Midwest they're trying to shut down all the factories that are opened but you're not that many but it's the Mac proper doing it they don't need you trying to shut them down morlok

Thor Freya

We are aware of what's going on out there I want to see it happening everyday but with John Deere it kind of struck a nerve with our friend and he started to try and help and figure out who it was now he got regular people up and going and he got them out there and he says it wasn't me it was your friend from the factory I have to talk to that guy he just said it was him and he was kind of trying to help them and sitting her overwhelmed and they are regular people but they're doing it. He hasn't seen this change into cops or military or anything if you like being at the movie theater and watching me tackle a Mac who's trying to do something that'd be a hero forever you don't understand it but he just looked normal life when I'm sitting there near him.

Brad

We got this s*** our people need us and we have to do something other than bother him and he said I'm doing the job and like don't break the window and get the lizard out so we're doing that and we're checking on the lawn too and there he was just losing up in the screen and his captured I already got him out of there and the guys little wise ass and that's what he was doing he he put him down and he's staring at him like what was that for you you can poop I'll tell you why he develops this and people stick to him but Trump's not doing anything he's just sticking to him we have to move it out

Lily

Going to tell you something that's what we're doing and we're not helping much I'll get to talk to this guy cuz he says that he didn't raise those people up and there are a lot of them I'm moving out right now

Dave

We don't want you too close to them so we're going out there too we have to talk to him and see what he was doing

Bja

I have a story and I'm a guy in the news I know what he's saying he's gone through this he knows what they're doing now and it's starting to horrify him again

John Deere employee Mac morlock Olympus

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ladyscroogeblr · 1 year ago

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Thor: Love and Thunder, Watched it yesterday. It was good but it definitely was not the best Thor movie! I loved the goats! I loved Thor “Naked” in front of Zeus! Love that Thor and Jane got back together and finally admitted, their love for each other! It was sad Jane died, thou! The movie did well at the box office. It had mixed reviews. In a recent interview with British GQ Chris Hemsworth mentioned that Love and Thunder could of been better and kind of blamed Marvel and director Taika Waititi for the film not being as good as it could of been! When entertainment critics heard that, it was it over YouTube! Not just critical of Thor: Love and Thunder, but how Marvel seems to have lost its way. Chris Evans is gone. Robert Downey Jr. is gone from Marvel. So is Scarlet Johanson. Dave Bautista has said he won’t play, Draz, again. On top of that we lost Chadwick Boseman in 2020 to cancer! It sounds like Chris Hemsworth is not under contract with Marvel, at this time. We don’t know if Thor will be back! We’ll see! I just wished Love and Thunder was better! Taika Waititi, as Korg, was, at times, overdone! I know Waititi, helped write the story. They tried too hard to be funny, at times. At times, with the Guardians of the Galaxy, Chris Pratt’s Star Lord, was, lame! I did love the technology, they used in the movie! I loved Thor and Janes’s costumes! The fight scenes were, good. I loved that Thor became Gorr’s daughter step-father! I loved the last scene! I know Love was played by his daughter India! They scene was so cute! I loved she shot lasers out of her eyes at him and painted up Thor’s hammer! Yes, Thor: Love and Thunder sucked, compared to the other ones! Disappointed in Marvel!

#thor love and tunder marvel chris hemsworth could of been better

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aubreyprc · 3 years ago

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voicemail

summary - emily gets in a plane crash. she leaves hotch a voicemail. season 7. after hit and run.

dialogue prompt given - ‘i was happier with you’ (this fic/idea was already in the works but i thought that line worked so well in it that i had to add it!)

word count - 4.4k

He watches the phone ring, her name flashing up brightly. There’s a twist in his gut, a tight pain in his chest as he chooses to ignore it, to hold Beth closer to him as he turns away from phone, can see in the corner of his eye as it stops ringing and he forces himself to relax. The voicemail signal pops up not three minutes later and he frowns, reaching for it, but then Beth holds her hand out, a smirk on her face as she reminds him off his promise of one more dance before it inevitably gets too late to keep Jack up and the voicemail is forgotten, his phone pinging with a second voicemail just as he walks off with another woman in his arms.

It’s the first and only time he’ll ever ignore a call from her again, not only because of the guilt that follows, but because she will never call again, he’ll never have the option to take her call, to hear her voice, they will never have that final conversation they both deserved because she is dead. The last thing remaining of her being the two voicemails on his phone, his only remaining emotions guilt, regret and complete devastation.

Emily Prentiss died, and he ignored her final call.

It’s not that she expected things to be the same when she returned from Paris, she knew she hurt him, all of them, but him… him she knew she hurt the most. Because it was him who she cut off, it was him who she cancelled dinner with on numerous occasions, a string of lame excuses she knew he would never believe and it was him who she had loved, it was him who had loved her and it was them that she knew would be the biggest obstacle in her return, it was him she would struggle the most to gain back any sort of relationship with and she knew this from the moment she stepped foot back in the BAU, back into her family, prepared herself for the cold shoulder or harsh words, ready for the arguments and she was willing to fight for them, to fight for what they were just eight months ago.

She didn’t expect things to be the same.

Bu what she also didn’t expect was for him to completely switch, the cold shoulder she was ready for feeling more like ice than a heavy breeze, his harsh words more brutal than everything she ever thought he would direct at her or anyone, and his reluctance to engage with her in any form leaving her hopes for a slow but steady return to what they had been building snapping in half, the arguments she was ready to have to fight for him seeming pointless as he continues to pull away from her and when she overhears his conversation with Dave about a certain brunette he had lunch with, her heart cracks in half and she curses herself for even thinking he would want her back, would want to fight for them, for her and any she realises any hopes she had for them died along side her in that cold hospital room in Bethesda… she thinks maybe things would have worked out better for all of them if she had.

She decides to leave the moment Clyde calls her. Takes the opportunity the second it’s handed to her and the feeling of relief that washes over her when the plane ticket is forwarded to her, is when she accepts that this is her new chapter, that coming back to DC and staying was a mistake, that what was broken when she took herself off to Boston to save them will never mend. It didn’t matter that she did it to keep them safe, the bond they all shared was severed and she never truly felt like she belonged.

She took it upon herself to decline team nights after never feeling a part of it and smiling to herself sadly when it was obvious they did, as she assumed, have a better time without her there, she accepted that her and Aaron were never going to be the same and knew that it had to be her that built that distance, accepting the burden that came with it. The pain in her chest that lingers when she watches him and Beth one that she lives with, one that she knows she has to get away from and as she watches the team at JJ’s wedding, each of them in their own little circle, their laughs echoing around the garden, their smiles bright, her absence unnoticed, she takes herself inside, and confirms her flight, wiping her tears as she reads Clyde’s message.

‘I will pick you up from the airport. Welcome home.’

It’s with a sick feeling that she discovers her home was with them, her home once again somewhere she felt unwelcome, unwanted and alone, and holds back her tears, preparing herself for once again needing to rebuild her life elsewhere because she had ruined the only home she ever had.

The goodbyes felt bittersweet, her need to be somewhere new clashing with her heartbreak over leaving.

She wipes Penelope’s tears as she wishes her good luck, makes promises to visit her as soon as she settles and Emily simply smiles, not allowing herself to believe them.

She holds JJ close as the blonde woman whispers words of love, wishing her the best before smiling, her own tears being held back as she says her goodbyes.

Derek holds her so tight she wonders for a moment if this is the right thing, that if leaving them is what she needs, but then he nods, a small smile on his face and she understands that he agrees with her, that this is good, for her and for them, and she swallows the lump in her throat before smiling back.

Dave kisses both of her cheeks and holds her face, telling her she will do great things and makes her promise to call him once a week, she agrees, all while wondering how long it would be before he simply stopped answering.

Reid cries, his head buried in her neck as he tells her he’ll miss her, that he’ll call her all the time and that he’ll send her books and movies he enjoys, wanting her to enjoy them to. She cups his face, wipes his tears and tells him she can’t wait, that he can call anytime, she knows he won’t.

Aaron simply stands, watching as she says her goodbyes and as she pulls away from Reid, their eyes meet over his shoulder and he looks away, making no attempt to say his farewells and she looks down, clearing her throat before she smiles, looking back at the team.

She can see them watching the car drive down the road, watches as they disburse, each of them moving on from her and she smiles, their family a unit once again.

She boards the plane with a heavy heart, a dull ache in her chest and a feeling in her gut that she tells herself is just nerves, just upset. Her gut tightens as she takes her seat and she has to force herself to breathe, has to close her eyes as fear and some unknown feeling washes over her and she almost stands, almost gets off the plane, but then the doors shut and the lights dim and she forces herself to relax, leaning her head back on the seat as she taps her phone on her leg, pushing down the unknown feeling she’s left with as the plane starts to roll forward on the path. She looks out of the window, watching as the plane speeds down the runaway and as the plane heads off, she closes the shutter, refusing to watch as she leaves D.C behind for the second and final time.

It nags at him for hours, how he didn't say goodbye to her, how he let her leave without so much as a small acknowledgement, how he allowed his love for her to be brought out with hate, with dismissiveness, with anger and betrayal and he hates even more that it didn't even work, that he is still as much in love with her now as he was last year, maybe more so, and that watching her leave again was far too painful, feeling that letting her go without a goodbye would save them the heartache and the inevitable argument they'd been avoiding since her return.

He regrets it the moment the car drives away from Dave's house, regrets it the moment she is gone, it's his regret that has him watch the phone as it rings, her name flashing up along with the picture he'd never had the heart to change, a picture of them just last year, one Jack had taken (albeit badly) of the two of them as they sat on the couch in his apartment, her smile so bright he remembers staring at it for day's, mesmerised by the sight of it, can still here their laughs as the picture was taken. Can still feel the touch of her hand in his and he hates it, hates how close they were to having everything, hates how quickly it was broken... he hates that he hates her almost as much as he loves her, hates that he blames her for ruining them... he hates himself too.

It's easier to ignore the call, than to hear her voice, knowing how heartbroken they both are, knowing that the conversation wont make them feel better, not over the phone. Its easier to hold Beth closer, a woman with no past, with no complications, someone easy and nice. Its easier to be led away by her than to listen to the voicemail, to hear just how hurt she is knowing its his fault, knowing that their goodbye will for now be unsaid, but knowing he will call her, he has to, he loves her, that can not be ignored.

It happens pretty quickly, but also not quick enough.

It's barley been two hours, can still see most of the views even from their height and they're not even out of America when the plane starts to jump. Turbulence, the pilot had said, but it does not relax her at all, not when the flight attendants look at each other with horror, not when the seatbelt sign pings on, and certainly not when the plane jolts so badly it drops almost two feet, and then the oxygen masks fall. It's not even five minuets later when the turbulence turns to complications, that its announced that the pilots can not control the plane, that they are dropping, that this is it, and she laughs, she has to, because of course it ends like this. Of course it does.

There's a woman behind her on the phone to her parents, another on the phone to their wife, one is telling his children he loves them and another is silently saying a prayer, gripping onto the seats for dear life hoping maybe, it will save her.

She stares at her phone in her hand, her contact list full of names, but no one who she thinks she could call right now, no one who she has to say goodbye to, no one who will answer, no one who will care.

His name is the first one that pops into her head, her need to tell him everything overwhelming when she accepts that she is going to die here. now. and she refuses to die with regrets again, refuses to die with the three words she wants him to know more than anything dying with her for the second time and she refuses to regret him, she can’t. she won’t.

The ring tone feels like its screaming down her ear, her stomach in knots as the plane continues to jolt violently, the shouts, screams and cries of those around her almost deafening and she knows he won’t answer, (all of her wishes he would).

Her first voice mail is made out of fear, her voice shaky and soft as she tries to block out the screams of the young girls behind her, the cries of the women who sob for their children.

She runs out of time, and she laughs at herself because, everything she just said was pointless, her heart still filled with regret as it’s not until the plane drops so violently that the sound of the wing falling off sounds like a siren, the he plane starting to drop quickly and sideways that she calls again, this time determined to tell him what she has been meaning to for months, even though she knows how unfair it is.

By the time the voicemail runs out of time, she’s crying, tears falling from her eyes, her last breath more of a whisper as she drops the phone to the ground, places her ID badge in her back pocket, knowing if by some miracle, their bodies are found, someone will find comfort in knowing it’s her. Maybe her mother, maybe her friends she left behind, someone will, she knows that.

A woman grabs her hand and she looks to her left.

“Two women alone, neither of us should die that way.” she says to her and Emily smiles, taking the woman’s hand in her own. “see you on the other side.” she whispers, and it’s the last thing she hears before she’s gone.

It happened pretty quickly. But not quickly enough.

A plane crash is big news on any day, a plane crash with the theory of insider terrorism is even bigger.

It’s reported eighteen minutes after it happened.

The FBI is called twenty two minutes after it happened.

The BAU and Counter Terrorism are brought in twenty eight minutes after it happened.

JJ’s phone rings thirty two minutes after it happens.

Her heart snaps in half thirty four minutes after it happens.

“What was Emily’s flight number?” she asks walking back into the garden, the entire team sat around the table frown at her.

“4403 to London, why?” Reid asks, the woman drops her head, sure she would have dropped to the floor is Will hadn’t been standing next to her.

“Her plane went down. No survivors. The theory is insider terrorism.” she explains sadly.

They find out Emily died thirty seven minutes after it happened.

Aarons heart breaks thirty eight minutes after it happens. His world stops spinning thirty nine minutes after it happened. He remembers her calling him forty minutes after it happened.

“We’re on the case?” Dave asks, already standing when JJ nods. The team following behind him.

“I’ll take Jack home, okay?” Beth says to him, bringing him out of his thoughts and he simply nods, standing, running on auto pilot.

He forgets about the voicemails as soon as he enters the building, fifty four minutes after it happened.

“These are the pictures of all passengers. One of them was in on it. We need to find out who. BAU you’re not here to investigate.. you’re here to rule out one of your own.” a man says as they enter the room, her picture flashes up on the screen and Aaron feels sick, his mind running back to Ian Doyle and Boston and that horrible hospital in Bethesda and … yet this time it’s real. This time she truly is gone.

“Emily Prentiss,” they say, “ex CIA, ex FBI, on her way to run a Interpol office in London.”

“She wasn’t in on this,” Reid says as he stares at her picture.

“That’s what you’re here to rule out.” they say, “Agent Hotchner,” the man looks up, once again snapped from this memories of her, of them. “We’ll talk to you first.”

They rule her out all but immediately, no sign of anything found on the devices of hers they had access to, and the team find themselves more involved with the case as they had thought, access to all files of the passengers, building profiles. Yet all Aaron can stare at is hers, her picture staring right back it him, her eyes so full of life, a picture taken just a year ago when they renewed their badges, there is a look of love in her eyes that he knows was meant for him and it has his stomach turning, with just how quickly everything changed, with so much regret for not fighting for her when he had the change, with so much pain that he once again lost the woman he loved, the woman he once saw forever with, and it was once again his fault.

She was only on the plane because of him.

Only moving to London because of him.

She is only dead because of him.

Just like his mother. Just like Haley. Emily now victim number three of the curse of loving him, of being loved by him, of being hurt because of him.

“Hotch,” Dave says as he taps the man on the shoulder and he clears his throat.

“Yes?” he says, turning to face the older man and the look on his face makes him nauseous, the pain, the heartache, the pity

“We’re done here.” he tells him, “we need to go home. We need to grieve.”

“We need to—”

“Emily is dead, Aaron.” he tells him, “she’s dead.” he says again, finality in his tone, as if he is trying to make him understand. “They’re actively searching for bodies, no luck yet. She’s dead, and we need to go home and we need to accept that. We need to grieve.”

“She… I—”

“I know,” he says sadly, “go home.” the older man tells him and he nods, clearing his throat as he looks to the team, each one of them wiping their tears as they pack their bags, Reid held closely into Morgan’s arms, the genius once again grieving for his friend, his sister, the older man once again grieving his best friend, his partner. JJ takes hold of Garcia’s hand as they head out, the women a duo once again, a space in the middle of them where the love of his life used to stand.

The love of his life he realises sadly as he looks down, because that’s what she was, never a love like it before, never one since. He doesn’t see how their could be.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Agents” a man says as he looks at Aaron, a sad smile on his face before he walks away.

“Go,” Dave says, “I’ll drive.”

“No,” he declines, “I need to be alone.” he tells his oldest friend, and he nods, watching him walk out.

He stares at the nothing as he parks in front of his house, his mind playing moments with her over and over again. He can still hear her laugh, can see her smile, can feel her touch on his skin and he wonders just how long it will be until he forgets.

He never wants to forget.

He walks into his apartment aimlessly, throwing his suit jacket onto the couch as he sighs, his whole body heavy as he grieves for her, not allowing himself to cry, he has no right.. this is his fault.

He remembers how he’d treated her, how cold and hostile he’d been, how cruel… and he wants to be sick, wishes he could take it back, hold her in his arms one more time and tell her he loved her.

It hits him like a harsh slap, when he remembers that he’d not even said goodbye to her, had let her leave without so much as a smile in her direction, had let her go thinking he hated her and he knows that will follow him forever, knows he’ll regret a lot of things, but her, how he’d treated her, he knows is something he’ll never forgive himself for.

The sound of his phone grabs his attention and he sighs, pulling it from his pocket. Beth’s name popping up and he swallows, taking a deep breath before accepting the call.

“Hey,” her voice is soft, light… he wonders why he doesn’t find it soothing. “I took Jack back to my place. Thought you could use the time alone…”

“Thank you,” he tells her, his voice hoarse.

“Do you want to talk?” she asks delicately.

“Tomorrow…” he tells her, “Not now… I can’t right now.”

“Okay,” she says gently, “try and get some rest.”

“I will, bye.” he says and ends the call before she says anymore, unable to even hear the words fall from her mouth.

It’s as he stares at the four notifications on his phone that he remembers.

He remembers watching her name pop up, her picture behind it, he remembers ignoring it, holding another woman closer, he remembers the confusion when she left a voicemail, remembers going to grab it before he was whisked away by Beth.

He remembers she left him a voicemail four hours and eight minutes after it happened.

He listens to them four hours and ten minutes after it happened.

*Hey, its me.” she says, she sounds calm, he notes, and his heart hammers in his chest as he drops to the couch. “I erm..” she pauses, the sound of her taking a breath hitting his ear and he closes his eyes, clenching his jaw. “I… I don’t know why I’m calling…” she laughs and he rolls his lips, the sound of her laughter something he used to love… used to crave. “I guess I was hoping you would answer? I’m not sure what I even would have said if you did.” hatred for himself builds up as he remembers ignoring her call, knowing now why she wanted to talk to him. Knowing now it was his last chance. “I guess I just wanted to tell you that I get it. I understand why you hate me… I understand why you’re distant and I don’t blame you. If the roles were reversed, I don’t know.. maybe I would have acted the same way.” she tells him, but they both know she wouldn’t have. Her actions after Foyet proved that. There’s a loud crash down the phone and he jumps, her heavy breathing sending shivers down her spine and he’s overtaken by horror as he wonders if her death was painful, if she was hurt, he hopes it was instant. That she didn’t feel it. “Funny thing, turns out I got on the wrong plane,” she laughs, finding humour in her situation, and he laughs too, because she always did make him laugh, no mater what was happening. “I… guess I just wanted to talk to you .. but you’re not here so.. Yeah.” she pauses, “don’t let the team grief for too long, okay? Tell them I wouldn’t want that, because I don’t. They grieved for me once, they shouldn’t have to again.” she’s holding back tears now, he knows, can hear it in her voice and it has his chest tightening. “Aaron.. I—” she says, before there’s a loud scream, not from her, but from someone near her, and she gasps a breath, then it’s over, silence on the other end, her voice gone, and he pulls the phone from his ear.

There’s another one, he realises, and he swallows before he clicks it.

“I always thought we were it, you know?” she starts, and he swears his heart stops, his body lunging forward as his eyes widen. “That everything would work out and that we would be.. us, again.” She takes a breath, one of her last, “I understand why we couldn’t be, I understand why you acted the way you did, I do… but I can’t say that it didn’t hurt, it did. I told myself when I got back from Paris, that I would tell you, that I would lay it all on the table and let you decide and I would know, even if it wasn’t the answer I wanted, that you knew, that I told you and that I could get rid of that regret… but I didn’t. And I can’t.. I cant die with this on my chest again. It’s selfish, and it’s cruel and I know you’re with Beth and i know you're happy but,” she takes another breath and he closes his eyes, “I was happier with you.” she says, her voice cracking, “ And it’s not fair, I know, but…” she pauses, he can imagine her closing her eyes, can hear the breath she takes, “Aaron, I love you.” she tells him and he feels his heart crumble to pieces in his chest, can feel the world stop. “I have loved you for… years, I think,” she laughs. “It’s not fair that I’m telling you this now, I know. I get that you hate me and I understand and I’m sorry, I'm sorry that I'm telling you now and not before and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you deserve and I’m sorry for… for everything. But I’m not sorry for loving you, I’m not sorry for that year we had together, and I hope you’re not either. I hope that that’s what you remember about me, about us. I hope that’s what you carry with you. I was happier with you, happier than I’ve ever been.” she says, and she’s crying, he knows she is, he is too. “I love you. And I’m sorry.” she tells him once again, and then again, there’s nothing. It’s over.

No more voicemails.

No more her.

No more anything.

He throws his phone at the wall, anger coming out his veins as he shouts, shaking as he stands, grabbing his glass of whiskey, before he throws that too, overwhelmed as he hears her saying I love you again and again.

He drops to the floor with a sob, heartbroken, grief ridden.. broken.

If he’d of answered the phone, he’d of been able to tell her he loves her too. She’d of not died thinking he hated her, she would have died knowing she was loved, by him, by everyone.

If he had been honest with her from the start, she’d still be here, wrapped in his arms.

Emily Prentiss died, and he ignored her final call, and he will never be given the option to tell her that he loves her too.

#hotchniss fic #hotchniss #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fic

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autumnblogs · 3 years ago

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Readthrough 2, Day 1: John Homestuck

Here we are again, April 13th.

I’m going to try, as much as I can, not to repeat myself in this liveblog, so if you haven’t already read my first liveblog, you’ll still likely be able to get something out of it if you are picking up with me on my second liveblog!

Time in Homestuck is extremely flexible, in keeping with the demands of a Narrative-first reality, and of course, the very first idea that we’re introduced to in the setting is this sort of reverse-causality situation, where John is not named until his 13th birthday, but has paradoxically always been John, much in the same way that Prospit and Derse and the Medium are all created at the moment a session begins, but have paradoxically always existed.

I have said this before, I’ll say it again: I really like this format for introductions, and I love the way that these introductions are structured. A big part of the reason Homestuck characters end up feeling kind of like real people, is that they are interested in lame stuff.

Abstract Behavioral Medium, now there’s a humdinger of a phrase. Abstraction is a recurring motif in Homestuck, what with the different levels of detail in drawing. Sprite Mode, which we’ve got here, is the base level of abstraction for people who exist in Homestuck, it seems. Hero Mode, which becomes prominent in Act 5 and Act 6, is a level of abstraction up from that, and “Hussnasty” I think is the term for the level of abstraction up from that.

Being abstracted in Homestuck is associated with being dominated, under someone else’s thumb, subject to their will - Doc Scratch dominates Damara by abstracting her away from Hero Mode, and into Sprite Mode for example - and is also associated with a lower level of fidelity, authenticity, and “realness” - Hero Mode often becomes more prominent as the story becomes more serious, with more abstracted drawing styles associated with more comical, and less serious moments in general.

Sprite Mode as the base layer of abstraction suggests a level of cognitive distance between John and his reality, a feeling of haplessness, unseriousness, and lack of control. He is an abstraction of himself, layers removed from the Real Thing. It takes adventures that render him in Hero Mode and higher levels of fidelity to render him “More Authentic” - so maybe John’s idea of the real life is one of high stakes conflict. That fits with the cultural expectations of masculinity that HS is generally kind of interested in.

I told myself I was going to watch some of the Homestuck Reference Movies in between my last reread and this one, and I did not do so. Maybe I should watch the movies PARALLEL to my Homestuck Readings, see what’s up with them.

Homestuck has some interesting things to say about Race, but I’m not the most qualified to talk about it. I’ll talk when I think I actually have some interesting things to say, but I’m not as educated on it as I would like to be, and/or educating myself as much as I can, so I’m not going to talk about it at length unless I have something really interesting to say.

That said, I can also provide references: @mmmmalo’s stuff about race is really good, and I might reblog some of it later. For now, if you want to peruse what they have to say about blackness, here is the link to the tag: https://mmmmalo.tumblr.com/tagged/race%20mapping/page/2

In any case, it’s interesting to see that the first Black President is referenced so early within Homestuck, especially considering its weird relationship with Obama, and in particular, Dave’s fascination with Obama. I think I’ll revisit my thoughts about Black People in Homestuck when we get to Her Imperious Condescension.

A monocle is a signifier that points to someone being a proper gentleman - wearing a monocle is part of the performance of gentlemanliness (much like cologne and aftershave are signifiers of dadliness, and part of the performance of dadliness).

The keyword abstraction appears again, ersatz, in the phrase Kind Abstratus. These kinds suggest that a big part of Abstraction is in Definition - in labeling things, watering them down to a set of easily identifiable characteristics so that they can be sorted into categories, distinct from each other.

American Cool Culture is really interesting to me, because like, if you look at the history of cool, it’s almost all African-American in origin, which is appropriate, since apparently the history of the concept begins in Africa, and only enters European culture with the Trans-atlantic Slave Trade.

In my last liveblog, I talked a little about how Dave Strider is kind of a poser, and I interpret him as a white-coded character who is adopting black mannerisms - peppering his dialogue with out of date AAVE, for example, which is probably reflective of Andrew’s understanding of it as well. As long as I’m thinking about Race in Homestuck though, it’s interesting to think of the Bros of Homestuck as white guys knowingly or unknowingly appropriating blackness.

I am almost certainly not the first person to note the resemblance between the present and the perfectly generic object, or rather that the Perfectly Generic Object is like the present - containing we know not what, but certainly something incredibly desirable, absent of features until it is opened.

I wonder if that tags Roxy, whose introduction to John is being buried under a pile of PGOs as being the Bunny - the gift inside the box. But John is also the bunny.

Makes me think of the Theosophic Notion that God created androgynous souls, which were then split into male and female, such that soulmates are people whose souls are the masculine and feminine halves of the original androgynous soul, such that the Bunny is a symbol of John, but also a symbol of John’s love interest - he names her Liv, after all, because of his celebrity crush on the disaster movie female romantic lead from Armageddon - so John and Roxy are As One.

Odd place to bring this up, but the use of the word Artifact to describe all the sundries that can be picked up and put in cards is interesting to me, and seems tied to the theme of abstraction we’ve got going here in the first act. Artifacts are the leftovers of bygone things - and since Homestuck is an end of the world story, of course, all of these items are artifacts in that sense.

But it also reminds me of the word artifact as in Compression Artifacts - the infidelities and ugliness produced by the compression of a picture into a smaller format for easier storage.

While John isn’t into Chick Flicks, the adventure movies that he’s into almost all have the romantic dynamic in them anyway. Karkat replicates and exaggerates John’s sublimated interest in Romcoms. What’s interesting about chick flicks, rom coms, is that while they’re nominally for women, almost all of them are written by men, men’s idea of what women are interested in, men’s idea of women, and their relationships with men.

The Strider’s relationship with the concept of ironic enjoyment recalls something I read recently, I can’t remember the reference, but it was about how Irony is inherently destructive, or at least, non-constructive, it can only criticize non-constructively.

While the Striders, and more to the point, Bro, may get enjoyment out of derogating things, even in a multi-layered way, this derogation ultimately doesn’t produce anything new, and the ironic enjoyment is usually just a cloak to mask genuine enjoyment.

While only ~ath gets any user throughout the comic, the other books also have cheeky pun titles that I only caught on literally this readthrough, because I glossed over them every other time. Dis* (Disasterisk), ^Cake (Carat/Carrot Cake).

Homestuck’s meteors are of course, couched in reference to Armageddon and Deep Impact specifically, but to American Disaster Movies more generally. Disaster Movies seem to be kind of a phenomenon tied to both Anthopogenic Natural Disaster - Climate Change, and pollution of the environment - and in some ways emerged because of the world status quo in which America was the global hegemon with no real contenders. There stopped being a lot of new disaster movies as soon as 9/11 happened. Strangely Homestuck, is almost completely uninterested in the War on Terror though, in spite of the ways in which it’s otherwise aggressively contemporary, and the preoccupation with the apocalypse, and disaster movies, might give a hint that, at least in this one respect, Homestuck is actually stuck about ten years in the past - a strange and achronistic blend of the late 90s, just a moment before that world DID end and the late thousands, with all the early Obama-Era stuff that implies.

That’s about all I got in me for tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll pick up at Rose’s introduction.

#homestuck #john egbert #abstraction #her imperious condescension #race #theosophy #war on terror #disaster movies

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d-criss-news · 3 years ago

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20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10. How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11. What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12. If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19. What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

#darren criss #billboard #masquerade ep #press #sept 2021

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bellebridgerton · 4 years ago

Text

Late Night Talks: Chpt 3 (Dave Lizewski x reader)

Dave's POV

Lost in thought, reminiscing about this past weekend, I sipped my water.

A pair of snapping fingers pulled me out of my trance, Todd looks at me, "Dave, what's up?"

I give him a small smile, "Nothing, nothing."

Todd nods, "Okay, so what did you do this weekend?"

I shrug, playing with my food, "(Y/N) and I hung out, watched movies, played video games. Nothing special." I couldn't tell Todd that I had also done some patrolling.

(Y/n) sits down at our table in the cafeteria, next to me. She opens the lunch she brought with her, "Hey guys."

I look over at her and smile, "Hey." I wrap my arm around her back, pulling her closer.

She lays her head on my shoulder, she whispers to me, "If you go patrolling tonight, be careful, please."

I nod and gently rub her back, whispering to her, "Yeah, I'll check in with you later tonight."

(Y/N)'s POV

I wake up after tossing and turning for hours, Dave hasn't come to check in yet, and I'm worried. I pick up my phone and call his phone, hoping he'll pick up. No answer.

I grab my tv remote and turn on the news, a reporter just happened to be talking about Kick-Ass and a fight that got nasty.

Without a second thought, I leap out of bed, put sweatpants on, grab a hoodie Dave left on my couch and throw it on. Running out the door, I put my hair up in a ponytail and get in my car, driving as fast as I legally can to get to the hospital.

Running into the emergency room, I stop at the front desk, "My boyfriend got into a fight, I was told he's here. I need to see him!"

The nurse looks at me, then types on her computer, "What's his name?"

I nod, "David Lizewski."

She looks at her computer, "He's in room 349, he just got out of surgery, so he might be asleep."

I smile, "Thank you!" I walk as fast as I can to his room. Upon finding the door, I walk in and close the door behind me. Dave's got stitches on his chest and face, he's out cold.

I gently touch his face, then I start crying, "You idiot!" I sit on the edge of his bed, gently playing with his curls, "I know you're asleep, but you're such an ass hole, I told you not to scare me like this again." I kiss his forehead, gently touch my forehead to his and sigh, "Please wake up Davie."

I move to a chair and sit next to the end of his bed, taking his hand in mine. With extra care, I rest my head on his thigh, closing my eyes to get some rest.

Dave's POV

Feeling something on my leg, I jolt awake. I notice it's (Y/N), I smile but I also feel horrible, because I promised her I wouldn't get hurt, and because my whole body hurts. I stroke her hair, happy that she's resting. I notice the tear stains on her cheeks, I made her cry.

I gently stroke her hair and her cheek, just admiring her. Her eyes open and she sees me, she sits up, "What the fuck were you thinking?!? You could have died!"

I don't care that she's yelling, I'm just glad she's here. I take her hand in mine and pull her into the hospital bed with me, moving onto my side so I can hold her.

(Y/N) looks me in the eyes, "I was so scared, Davie."

Despite the stitches in my top lip, I kiss her forehead a few times while gently rubbing her back, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I feel her body relax a little, she sighs, "I don't want to be that friend, but you need to stop being Kick-Ass. I know you love it, but it's going to get you killed."

It's my turn to sigh, "(Y/n/n), what if I get some training in how to fight? Would that give you some peace of mind?"

(Y/N)'s POV

Dave rubs my back, "(Y/n/n), what if I get some training in how to fight? Would that give you some peace of mind?"

I know he doesn't want to give it up, and I can't actually make him. I look at his chest and his face, "I don't think you understand how scared I've been for you since I found out, I'm always worried it's the last time I'll see you, or the last time I'll see you alive. Davie, please just consider quitting, for your own safety. I know it's cool to be a superhero, and I'm proud of you for being so brave and kind to people who do need help, but what about you?"

His facial expression softens, "It's important to me, who else will fight the bad guys?"

I scoff a little, "The police take care of the bad guys. And you know what's important to me? You being healthy, happy, and alive. We can do fun stuff, be active, that's not a problem, make a difference by volunteering, without being in mortal danger."

He chuckles, "You don't get it, it gives me a purpose! Without Kick-Ass, I'd just be some lame teenager who hangs out at the comic book store with his friends."

I gently move some curls from his face, "You want something to give you purpose? Fine." I kiss him softly, feeling him take a moment before he responds, pulling me in closer.

Dave's POV

(Y/N) softly moves my hair from my face, "You want something to give you purpose? Fine."

Before I can fully register what's happening, she's kissing me, of course I kiss her back, my hand moving to her lower back to pull her closer. She deepens the kiss, causing me to involuntarily moan into the kiss.

Just as I was getting into it, she pulls back, "Think about that the next time you want to go risking your life." She kisses my cheek, then whispers in my ear, "Goodnight Davie."

Before I can do anything about it, she's standing next to my hospital bed, grabbing her bag. I prop myself up on my elbow to sit up a little more, "Where are you going?"

She smiles sadly, "I'm going home. I hope you think about quitting, not for me, but for you." She walks out of the room and out of my sight.

I lay back in the hospital bed and groan, fuck, can I really give up being Kick-Ass?

Taglist: @theonlyprincessoftheworld

#aaron taylor johnson #kickass #dave lizewski #dave lizewski x reader #late night talks

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happyandticklish · 4 years ago

Text

Grub Scars

Dave discovers something knew about Karkat and Karkat doesn’t entirely hate him for it.

The roar of the TV was muffled in the ears of the two teenagers sprawled on the tiny couch, their limbs entangled in messy disarray. Karkat grunted as two hands slid up his back, pulling him in tighter against Dave. His lips murmured breathily against Dave’s neck.

“You’re missing the movie.” He gently bit at the tender skin of his throat, a tiny thrill coursing through him at the noise Dave made.

“Fuck the movie,” was the casual reply and Dave pulled back momentarily to grin at him, shades askew from the impromptu make out session. He ran his hands contemplatively over Karkat’s torso, deciding a new target for his affections. He tugged at the hem of his shirt, silently asking permission. Karkat didn’t reply, turning to face the TV though it was obvious he wasn’t taking in anything the show was saying. Dave rolled his eyes at his stubbornness and slipped his hands under his sweater anyway.

Karkat hissed sharply at cold fingers but didn’t move away. Dave traced his hands over the soft skin of his abdomen, noticing something odd as he did.

“Karkat?” he asked.

“Mmm?”

“What are these lines on your ribs?”

Karkat’s eyes opened briefly, annoyed at being interrupted. “They’re my grub scars. All trolls have them.”

Dave sat back, all thoughts of making out momentarily flung from his brain as he studied this new anomaly. “Grub scars… like from when you were a baby? Or a larvae, I guess. I always forgot you guys are part insect too. Dude, that’s so weird.”

Karkat attempted to sit up, glaring at Dave, but was stopped by a hand pushing him back down. “We are not, part insect, as you say. If anything your insects are half-troll as they came second. And grub scars are a completely normal thing. They are no different than your ‘bellybuttons’ or whatever the fuck you call them.”

Dave wasn’t listening, poking the lines experimentally. They were raised in slight bumps atop the troll’s ribs and were of a ruddy complexion. There were three on either side and Dave traced his thumb over one curiously.

He didn’t miss the way Karkat jumped, nor the faint shade of red his face had turned. “Dude, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, you useless excuse for a human being, and I would appreciate it if you would remove your filthy human appendages from my—ah!”

Karkat was cut off mid-rant as Dave curled his fingers, watching his boyfriend’s reaction. A knowing grin was forming on Dave’s face and Karkat winced in preparation for the coming attack. But instead of launching into a vicious, one-sided tickle fight, Dave continued to gently trace over the scars, his fingers ghosting the skin and sending shudders scurrying down Karkat’s spine. He watched Karkat all the while, checking for a reaction, and that was when Karkat knew he was trapped.

“You okay there, Karkat?” Dave asked, stone-faced as usual. Karkat gripped his hands tight in the cushions of the couch, trying to focus on the TV and failing miserably. “You seem kind of tense.”

“I’m f-fine,” Karkat replied snarkily, ignoring the stutter in his voice. “Now will you shut your incessant blabbering and let me enjoy the show we were originally watching before you decided it was time to board the train to make-out station.”

Dave snorted at the word usage, digging his nails in gently at the very edges of the scars and grinning as Karkat choked back a whine. “Like you weren’t enjoying yourself. And I believe it’s called make-out central.”

“I thought I told you to be quiet, so how is it I can still see your mouth moving and hear the irritating tenor of your hormonal voice cracks?”

“Point taken. I guess we’ll just continue in silence then.”

Karkat grunted.

The movie displayed two men shouting passionately at each other while another one nervously tried to console the both of them. It was inevitably leading to either homicide or filthy love making, either one disgustingly graphic in nature; it was difficult to tell with troll romance. However, neither of the two boys were paying any attention to the movie, nor had they been paying any attention since the moment the title screen rolled across the TV.

Dave was having a field day with the new discovery of grub scars, much to Karkat’s chagrin. At first it was just tracing, light and easy to deal with. After a while it almost began to feel good, and Karkat felt his eyelids fluttering sleepily and his breathing evening out into a relaxed hum of contentment.

At first.

Karkat jerked awake again as nails suddenly dug into his sides, a surprised squeak of laughter betraying him. Dave smirked triumphantly, having gotten the reaction he’s wanted.

“What the fuck Strider?” Karkat growled, his hands now clamped around Dave’s wrists in a vise-like grip. Dave’s fingers were still touching his skin, unfortunately, and they continued to wiggle gently which was succeeding at slowly driving the troll insane.

“I didn’t know you were ticklish.” He curled his fingers in a devastating claw motion and Karkat’s eyes snapped shut again, hissing anxiously. “How come I didn’t know this?”

“I’m not ticklish,” Karkat denied immediately, but stuttered giggles were slipping past his lips as he squirmed under Dave’s touch. “You’re ticklish.”

It was a moronic comeback, but Karkat couldn’t think while his body was racked with the tortuous sensations. Dave’s cheeks flushed a gentle shade of pink and he rolled his eyes. “Dude, lame. You totally are. You’re laughing right now.”

He was and he hated it. “S-Shut uhup. Just st-stohop.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Dahave, I s-swehear to gog—”

“Do the grub scars make it more ticklish or less ticklish?” Dave asked, ignoring him completely. His eyes gleamed with genuine interest while he waited for an answer.

“Y-Yehehes, you fuhuhucktard!” Karkat threw his head back as Dave’s gentle scratches turned into rough poking and prodding. “Gahaha, whahahat the fuhuhuck?”

“This is great. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh before. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile before.” His fingers moved up just slightly, teasing at the barest edges of underarms, and Karkat lost it, kicking the back of the couch in frantic pleas. “I’m barely even touching you. This is kind of sad actually.”

“Fuhuhuck y-y-yohou, ehehe, nohoho, gog!” Karkat’s laughter had transformed into a storm of hiccupy giggles, an odd change from his usual gravelly grumbling. He had released Dave’s wrists and was now flailing his hands around uselessly, occasionally shoving at Dave’s arms to no avail. He jumped as the fingers found their destination in his armpits, slamming his arms down and subsequently trapping Dave’s hands there.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, nohohohoho!” Karkat curled up into the couch, trying to dislodge the hands and only getting them more stuck in the process. “Stohohohop!”

“I can’t. You’ve got to lift your arms dude.”

“I hahahate y-yohohou!”

“Careful Karkat, I might start thinking you’re feeling black for me.”

“Fuhuhuck yohohou!”

After another valiant attempt to get away without lifting his arms, Karkat decided he had no choice but to retaliate. Having no plan of action aside from getting those damn fingers off of him, he reached out blindly and clamped his hands around Dave’s sides, squeezing harshly.

Dave let out an uncharacteristic bark of laughter, jerking back immediately. Having accomplished his goal, Karkat decided revenge was due. He quickly tackled Dave, pinning his hands above his head with one hand and raising the other one in a menacing gesture over his stomach.

“So Dave…” he panted, sweat glistening on his forehead as he grinned. “Now that you’ve had your fun I think it’s time you face a taste of your own medicine.”

Dave squirmed underneath him, eyeing the hovering hand apprehensively. “Look, I’m sorry man, but think about what you’re doing.”

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “Why? Are you ticklish?”

Dave flushed, an odd look to see on the normally stoic Strider. Karkat decided he liked the look. “No. I mean, a little. But so is everyone else. Look, the point is I’m sorry. Can we please just go back to making out?”

“Maybe later,” Karkat promised, lowering his hand. “But right now I think I have some well-earned revenge to dish out.”

The second his hand made contact Dave burst into laughter. His laugh was boisterous and carefree, nothing like the boy who it came from. He giggled uncontrollably as Karkat scribbled fingers all over his stomach, the sensitive skin jumping under the touch.

“Ahahaha! Fuhhuhuck, yohohour w-weird troholl nahails tickle, gohohod!” He arched up against the bed, arms tugging uselessly against Karkat’s hold, squealing when Karkat pinched his hips. “Gah! Nohoho, nohohot thehehere!”

“What’s wrong Strider? You can dish it out but you can’t take it?”

Karkat was ecstatic. Here was Dave, master of cool, giggling like a wriggler under him at a little tickling. He tried not to focus on the fact that just seconds ago he too had been the dumb wriggler helpless to Dave’s fingers, and decided to move up to the ribs, seeing as that had been the start of all this trouble.

Dave jerked away, tugging desperately at his trapped arms. “Duhuhude, sohoho nohohot cohohohool!”

“You know, while we’re here I think it would be a good time to learn more about your species. Tell me Dave, how many ribs does a human have?”

Dave spluttered incredulously, struggling to focus. “Whahahat? Ihihi dohohon’t knohohow! twehehenty-fohohour?”

Karkat tapped his nails against the blond boy’s sides, shaking his head. “You don’t sound too sure, Dave. I think I may have to figure out for myself.”

“Whahahat—gahaha!”

Dave snorted as Karkat dug his nails in-between his upper ribs, counting as he went. “Let’s see. One, two, three, four—quit moving, asshole. Now I have to start over.”

“Karkahahahat!” Dave whined and fell back into squeaky giggles as the process repeated.

This was surprisingly fun. Karkat had never seen Dave laugh with such abandon before. He was always so obsessed with being cool or ironic or whatever dumb concept he was into at the time, and it felt nice to break him out of his shell.

As it turned out, Dave was even more ticklish than Karkat. Every spot produced more of that squeaky, high-pitched laughter, and Dave seemed unable to control himself as he squirmed helplessly underneath him, protests and pleas spilling out amidst the laughter. Finally Karkat decided to give him a break and backed off, releasing his grip on Dave’s wrists.

Dave was a mess. His shirt was mussed up all the way to his chest and he was breathing heavily, cheeks bright red from laughing. Somewhere in the process his shades had been knocked askew and they lay haphazardly on one side of his head, held on by one ear. Karkat’s own eyes widened as he took in the other boy’s eyes.

Red, bright red from mirth and accusations as they turned a betrayed glare on Karkat.

“Rude. I did not tickle you for that long.”

“Your shades.”

Dave blinked, realizing their absence. “Fuck.” He quickly grabbed them, shoving them firmly back over his eyes. “You didn’t see anything.”

Karkat grinned, already missing their presence. “You looked adorable.”

“Shut the fuck up man.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

Dave tried to get up but found that Karkat was still firmly planted on his waist. He frowned, trying again. Nothing.

“Uh, you mind moving?”

Karkat shook his head. “I’m good. I quite like where I am right now.”

Dave raised an eyebrow. “Do you now?”

“Yeah.” Karkat crossed his arms, taking in the sight of the helpless Strider before him. “I think I’ll have to have you like this more often.”

Dave snorted at the corniness of it, ignoring the flush of his cheeks. “Okay, whatever. Get down here and kiss me already.”

Karkat did, but mere minutes later his fingers found themselves tracing up the boy’s sides yet again and they found themselves emerged in a second round of ridiculousness that neither was entirely angry about.

#karkat strider #tickling #dave strider #homestuck #tickle fic #fanfic #davekat

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valwrite · 4 years ago

Text

leap frog; daveed diggs

masterlist.

summary: rafael casal can’t keep a secret. (read the sequels: hopscotch, hide & seek.)

warnings: possible second hand embarrassment, fluff, mentions of murder, cursing

fic type: drabble

word count: 2366

author’s note: ahaha, i hate myself for writing this but i also love it, gn. feedback is appreciated! oh, and if i don’t reply to a comment or something, it’s just cause i’m dumb as shit and haven’t figured out how tf to do that yet 🥰

It was official. Y/N L/N was going to murder Rafael Casal.

And, boy, would she make sure it looked like an accident.

The man was a nuisance, a mad man, a big mouthed buffoon. And the reason she now had to avoid one Daveed Diggs at all costs from here on out. Considering Rafael lived just one door down from her made this a challenge, as Daveed had a habit of treating the other man's apartment as a second home.

The trouble began two weeks prior, when, after a miserable night out, Y/N had stumbled into the building elevator, feet aching to get out of her heels and breasts desperate to be freed from their confinement. Before she'd had the chance to press her floor button, a hand slid between the closing doors and in stepped Rafael Casal. The two exchanged glances and greetings before riding up to their shared floor in a comfortable and welcomed silence. Had this exchange taken place three months before, perhaps Y/N would have felt a lot more awkward and intimidated by her attractive neighbor. However, things had changed between them ever since they'd become friends. She'd tag along on nights out with his friends (who'd seamlessly welcomed her in as one of their own) and he'd come round for dinner every time he so much as smelt her cooking from next door. The elevator had reopened and the hallway they shared came into view. That was when Rafa made the proposal she'd end up regretting: “Do you wanna come in for a few drinks?”

She'd accepted because, well, it was free alcohol. The fact that his company was anything but bad was just an added bonus. A few drinks turned into many, even some shots finding their way into the mix of things, as she and Rafa talked the night away: she shared details of the horrible blind date she'd been set up on that evening while he ranted about how insufferably boring Daveed had been, claiming the man hadn't brightened up the whole night after hearing Y/N would not be in attendance at their get-together. She was sure her cheeks had turned as red as they'd felt when Rafa made that revelation.

The real mistake came towards the end of their drinking session and, really, neither of them knew how to explain how or why they wound up locking lips. What they did know was the following: it was a meaningless kiss, both of them laughed right after and it had been the most uncomfortable kiss either of the two had shared in their adult lives. Kissing him, Y/N would later realize, wasn't the problem though. It was what the kiss had unearthed.

“Oh my god, you have the hots for Diggs?!”

In three months of friendship, Y/N had learned three fundamental things about Rafael Casal: he preferred pancakes over waffles, friendship with him was a package deal that included Daveed Diggs and, lastly, Rafael Casal was the biggest gossip in town.

Any secret, any hook up, any scandal. You name it and it was almost a guarantee that, not only did Rafa know about it but he was the source of it all. So, having him become aware on the fact she had a massive crush on his best friend? Yeah, there was no chance in hell Y/N could ever speak to Daveed again without self-combusting in embarrassment.

Now, back to present times, where Y/N finds herself tiptoeing around her own apartment, anything capable of making noise switched off and her own breathing being the only sound in the living space. Five minutes had passed since Daveed had last knocked at her door, saying nothing but her name yet still managing to put her on edge.

The logical part of her brain told her to open the door, because the poor guy was probably just confused as to why she had suddenly started ignoring his texts and stopped hanging with him and Rafa while they watched the Warriors play. The rest of her brain told her to stay put, wait it out and, once she was sure Diggs had left the building, grab the participation trophy she'd been given back in elementary school and use it to go beat Rafael's ass.

Operation: Avoid Double D was working, much to her own surprise, and she'd even started to feel a little impressed with herself when- thud! - a noise came from her balcony. The door of it lay wide open, much like the book she'd been reading out there before Daveed had come knocking, but the curtains were drawn shut, gently moving with the breeze from outside. Like a scene from a cheesy horror movie, she approached the balcony with caution, reached out to draw the curtain aside and gasped at the sight of Daveed comfortably sat in her chair, skimming through her book- a very, very worn out copy of Emma by Jane Austen - and sipping on her iced tea.

“I... How... What...” There wasn't a coherent sentence to be found in Y/N's brain. “Why are you on my balcony?”

“Well,” Daveed snapped her book shut and discarded it on to the small table next to him, all the while smiling innocently up at her. “I knocked on the door and you didn't answer.”

“So you figured breaking and entering was the only solution?!”

“Hey, hey, there was no breaking involved. Just, y'know, entering.” He stood up, reminding her of how much taller he was. “You're the one that left your balcony door open to the world, I just took advantage of that and jumped over from Rafa's.”

Y/N couldn't help but turn her back on him to gaze over at Rafael's own balcony. A fresh batch of laundry had been sat out to dry on it and Y/N noticed how the only plant Rafa owned had now died, nothing left but a dried up mess in it's place. She then thought of the space between the two balconies and, more importantly, the space beneath them both. Granted, she wasn't living in some top floor luxury apartment but she imagined a seven story drop was nothing short of unpleasant. Yet there was Daveed, all smiles and charms, having just jumped over the space as if it were nothing but some innocent, childish game of leap frog. She both wanted to scold him for being so reckless and praise him for being so brave.

Until she remembered the fact she was supposed to be avoiding him and this, clearly, was ruining any of her attempts.

“What do you need so badly from me that it compelled you to do something as stupid as that?” It seemed to be that scolding was the option she'd chosen.

“Answers.” Oh god no. That's it, time to eBay a body bag and a fake passport.

“Answers to what exactly?” When she was a child, Y/N had always tried to play coy to avoid confrontation. It appeared to be she hadn't changed much with age.

“Do you have any of those blueberry muffins left?” Okay, that was not where she thought this conversation was going. “Rafa ran out of the batch you made him and he's too afraid to ask you for more, since you demanded payment last time, so he sent me over here to charm two muffins out of your pantry.”

“You're in luck. I made some last night.” They could have every last piece of food in her kitchen for all she cared, so long as that were the only thing Daveed wanted from her. Though, she was still contemplating manslaughter when it came to Rafa considering he'd sent over Daveed, knowing fine well why she was steering clear of the man. He was shameless in his meddling.

“So,” Daveed's voice and footsteps followed behind her into the apartment as she desperately aimed for the kitchen area. “how come you didn't answer the door earlier?”

“I was, uh,” I was trying to avoid you because I want nothing more than to bake muffins with you and have you nakedly recite poetry to me and that's an issue because we're friends and you don't even think about me that way. “Shower. I was showering.”

“You hair's not wet.”

“Never heard of a hair dryer? Jeez old man, catch up.” At this point, her hands were clammy from her own nervous sweat but she'd pulled out the tray of muffins and shoved the lot of them over to him. All she had to do was get him out of her apartment, then things would be fine. “Here you go, thanks for stopping by. See you later.”

“Wow, wow, wow! Calm down, girl!” Did he have to smile at her like that? “Why're you trying to get rid of me? I asked for two muffins, Y/N, not the whole batch.”

“Just take them, I forgot that I don't really like blueberries anyways.” If there was an Olympic sport for colossal idiots, she'd have won gold, silver and bronze.

“You didn't answer my question,” Daveed took one step forward and she took one step back, internally screaming as she felt her back bump against the counter. “why're you trying to get rid of me?”

“I'm not!”

“Okay then, why haven't you been answering my texts or calls?”

“Because I lost my phone.”

“The same phone that I saw on your coffee table?”

“You found it! My hero!” The body bag was no longer going to be used on Rafa, she was pretty sure she was one more comment away from dying of embarrassment.

“Y/N.” When had Daveed gotten so close to her? And why did he have to say her name like that? Her hand gripped on to the surface behind her and she gulped, struggling to maintain eye contact with him.

“Daveed.” She replied lamely, just begging that he'd turn around, grab the tray of muffins and leave.

“What's really up?” His words were softer and more serious, much like the look in his eyes. “You won't answer your phone, you haven't watched the recent games with us, you won't answer the door to me. I just... Look, if I done something or said something that made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I really miss you though, so does Rafa. So if there's anything I can do to fix whatever I did, just tell me. I'll do it. Anything.”

And now, ladies and gentleman, please buckle your seat-belts and get ready for take off, destination: Guilt Trip.

“No. Fuck, Daveed, no. You didn't do anything. Trust me, it's all my fault. I'm really sorry.” The words tumbled out of her quickly whilst her eyes fixated themselves with staring down at her nervous hands. “I know that Rafa told you and, just, I'm really sorry. I promise, I'm trying to get rid of them, it's why I've sort of been avoiding you. I don't want to ruin our friendship.”

“Rafa told me... what? Who are you trying to get rid of?”

“Wait,” Oh sweet hypothetical baby Jesus, had Rafael Casal not spilled the beans? Did he really not know? “he didn't tell you?”

“I'm confused.” Daveed said, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he continued to gaze down at her. “Was he supposed to tell me something? Wait, did he make a move on you or something? Cause I'll put him in his place if I have to.”

“Technically we made a move on each other.” The words flew out of her before she could stop it and she noticed immediately how his face contorted into a frown. “Not in that way! It was just a drunk kiss that we both regretted.”

“And he was supposed to tell me about it?”

“Huh? No! Ugh, look Daveed,” She'd already made a fool of herself enough, she may as well just round it all off with the mother of all embarrassments. Go big or go home, right? And, well, she was technically already home and with nowhere else to go. “I like you. Like, the way a bee likes honey or the way a dog likes a bone. A lot. But I get it, you don't like me and that's chill but would you please just give me the time and space to sort myself out and get over it so we can go back to being friends?”

“But I don't wanna be friends with you, Y/N.” Well done, idiot. So much for honesty being the best policy. “I mean, I don't know how I feel about being compared to honey or a bone but I do know how I feel about you. I think you're smart and beautiful, and stubborn and kind of a dork. And I really like it, you. I really like you.”

“Oh.” Oh? Oh?! Fucking oh!? That's all you can say to that. She couldn't stand living in her own head-space.

“I'm gonna ignore the fact that you and Rafa made out or whatever and just get straight to the point of asking you on a date. Tomorrow night, seven pm. Wear something easy to move around in.” Gentle fingers tilted Y/N's head up by her chin, forcing her to stare into his eyes. They were warm and welcoming, like chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven and melting with love. “Who knows, maybe by the end of the night you'll finally get a good kiss from a Bay Boy.”

“Why would Rafa kiss me at the end of our date?” At least she could still joke among the shock. “And you more or less just demanded I go on a date with you. No questions were made.”

“If demanding is what it takes,” He leaned down, his mouth hovering dangerously close to hers. “then so be it.”

Where she'd expected a kiss, she found nothing but empty space and the sight of Daveed picking two muffins out of the tray. Wide eyed and honestly a little confused about what events had just transpired in her kitchen, she watched as he finally headed for her door, suddenly not enjoying the thought of him leaving as much as before.

“Oh, and Y/N?” He was halfway out of her apartment, grinning back at her. “Rafa did tell me, I just wanted to hear you say it yourself.”

He slammed the door shut on the sound of Y/N cursing out the very man that was Rafael Casal.

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