#Danny speakin

[this-wildchild-writes]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“John Constantine?”

Fuckin’ hell. This was why anyone with even the slightest talent for the arcane or occult covered their ears and legged it at the barest mention of the Realms. Just the being’s fucking voice had power to it.

“That’s me spooky.” Well it wasn’t like John saw himself surviving this encounter, may as well go out as unapologetically as he’d lived. “Though you seem to have me at the disadvantage, just who may I be speakin’ with?”

“You clearly recognised my Knight here,” The spirit sounded incredibly unimpressed as they gestured towards the towering armoured figure that had taken up a guard position beside them, “I believe you know exactly who I am. We are here to discuss my ownership of your soul.”

“You and everyone else I’m afraid bud.” If he tried hard enough, he could pretend his hands weren’t shaking as he pulled out a cig. “Even if I was stupid enough to sell my soul to the Sleeping Tyrant, I know for a fact that you ain’t Pariah Dark.”

Nope, nuh uh. Fuck all kinds of right off. Smiles weren’t meant to be that wide and they definitely weren’t supposed to have that many teeth. Some apparently suicidal part of his mind vaguely wondered if the being naturally induced fear because he barely raised an eyebrow at literal demons nowadays. The rest of him was too busy screaming to care.

“Luckily for your continued existence, you would indeed be correct.” The child shaped eldritch horror agreed, flashing a pair of fangs that managed to be the least distressing thing about that smile. “I am not Pariah Dark.”

John almost sighed in relief. He would have if he wasn’t pretty certain his heart had given out about twelve seconds into the meeting. Maybe, he might just be able to salvage-

“By Rite of Conquest, I am his Successor.”

Oh so he was Fucked fucked.

[poke-me-with-a-stick]

Chapter 26 of 'Artificial Wingman!'

For the full story on Ao3, click Here!

Enjoy!

---

Danny hissed as the wire he was soldering zapped him. His fingers healed almost immediately, just the lightest pink any indication that he had been hurt, but the electricity flowed up his arm, making his litchenberg ache. He rubbed his arm before tuning it out, turning back to the gun with an annoyed grumble.

Seconds later the same thing happened again, making the halfa hiss again. His core stuttered at the feeling, making an uneasy warbling sound as the current spread slightly further up his arm. The teen brought his fingers to his mouth, blowing cool air on the tingling appendages. Once they were sufficiently numb, he went back to work.

The wire he was soldering buzzed threateningly as he melded it to it's proper circuit. Finally, the darned thing stopped, it's excess electricity funneling into the board. New wires lit up, popping small sparks as energy flowed through. One such wire right under Danny's wrist, hitting directly on the edge of his death scar.

The teen couldn't stop himself from jerking away with a loud yelp, practically falling out of his seat as he cursed under his breath. "Fuck!" He muttered, rubbing his wrist. His arm tensed and twitched as he tried to massage the pain from it, fingers spasming as his scar buzzed. It took a few minutes for the feeling to pass, and a few longer to flex the soreness out of his fingers. When he could comfortably make a fist again, he turned and leveled a glare at the damned scientific abomination.

His glare faltered after a second, his shoulders drooping in exhausted defeat. "Why couldn't Mom and Dad have been, like, dentists or something?" He questioned quietly. Danny would rather have lectures on proper dental hygiene than have to deal with this. Sighing, he sat back down and pulled the gun towards him again. 'Better just to get it fixed.'

From across the room, Robin stood up from where he had been leaning against the wall. The teen stalk across the space separating them, coming to a stop just in front of Danny. The halfa took his eyes off of his work to look up at him, being careful to rest his hands decidedly away from the live wires. ". . .You good?" Danny asked after a minute of nothing but Robin's intense, searching stare.

Robin stayed silent, giving Danny no warning as he carefully pushed the gun away. Before Danny could ask what he was doing, the teen grabbed his wrist and pulled him up, all but dragging him from the room. It was Danny's turn to be quiet, though his silence was more because of shock and less because of... whatever was up with Robin.

Danny decides that it's too much trouble to try and form a coherent question. Instead, he just lets Robin lead him down the hall, turning and coming to a stop at a closed door. Robin knocks, then takes a step back and waits. Jason opens the door moments later, leaning against the frame as his eyes rake over the two of them.

"What's up, brat?" He asks, his gaze meeting Danny's over Robin's shoulder, conveying a silent question of 'What's this about?'. In response, the teen shrugs, sending back an 'I have no clue,' look. Jason rolls his eyes slightly before focusing his attention back on Robin. "Did you need something?"

"Danny needs to take a break." Robin states bluntly. Danny lets out a protesting "Hey!", but is ignored by the brothers in front of him. "I merely intended to let you know that we are going out. So that you do not worry needlessly about us being gone." With his piece said, Robin began to turn away.

"Hold it, Hell spawn." Jason stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "You just gonna run around in your suit?" When Robin didn't immediately respond, the man shook his head. "Come on, demon brat. I'll give you a change of clothes. It's a miracle that the bat brigade hasn't already tracked us down yet." He dipped back into the room, leaving the door open as he searched around for something for Robin to wear. "Speakin' of which, did you turn off all the trackers in your suit or something?"

"No, I haven't touched any of the trackers." Robin told him through the door. He tugged Danny closer, his thumb feathering over the pulse point of his wrist. Danny let out a sigh at the action, the rhythmic motions chasing the last bit of pain away. "In fact, I had a rather odd experience with my comms earlier this week. They were filled with static when I attempted to use them to contact Oracle. When I was unable to get through to her, I had to retrieve one of the spares from the safe-house." Jason hummed as he returned, clothes in hand.

"You think the same might have happened to your tracker?" He asked as he handed the clothes over. Robin had to drop Danny's hand to take them, and Danny tried not to pay attention to the sad whirring noise his core made in response.

Instead, he turned his attention back to the conversation. "Oh, that? It was probably me." He admitted a bit sheepishly. They both stopped and turned to look at him. When they didn't say anything, he began to ramble. "So, uh. It's kinda a ghost thing? Ecto beings and extremely contaminated liminals tend to radiate ecotplasm, which messes with electronics and, well, technology in general. So, it might be my fault that some things aren't working right?" He let out a nervous laugh, his hand coming up to massage the back of his neck.

Robin was the first to break the silence. "That does make sense." He admitted. "It would explain why we had such a difficult time tracking the Joker's location when you were taken, and why your sister had such an easy time of it finding you when she gave it a try." Behind him, Jason gave a nod, accepting the explanation given, before letting out a laugh.

"Ah, no one in this family ever dates a normal person, do they?" He snorts again before stepping out into the hall and letting Robin into the room.

"Hey!" Danny groaned in fake indignation. "You already knew that I was Spook-tacularly abnormal before this!" Both brothers froze for a minute before groaning themselves at his amazing (horrible) pun.

Reaching out, Jason plants a heavy hand on Danny's head to violently ruffle his already messy hair, electing a yelp from the teen. He laughed as Danny swatted his hand away, pushing the teen slightly so that he stumbled back a step. "We need to keep you and Dick-face as far apart as possible. If you two meet, we're all doomed."

Danny opened his mouth to retort, planning on saying something about this Dick guy having great taste in wit, but was cut off as Robin swung the door open again and stepped out. Turning, he gave the teen's new outfit a look. An old band tee that was slightly too big, a pair of worn jeans that bunched slightly around his calves, a pair of sneakers, and the sunglasses that Danny had gotten for him. All in all, it fits perfectly with the 'average teenager' theme that they're going for.

"Where did you get the sunglasses?" Jason asked, looking the teen over as well. Robin didn't respond to him, instead grabbing Danny's wrist again and leading him to the stairwell. "Be safe you two!" He called after them, "I'm serious! If you get into any trouble, bat related or otherwise, give me a damn call!" Danny glanced back at Jason as he was pulled along, waving at the man as he rounded the corner. The teen couldn't help but smirk at the exasperated look on the man's face as they disappeared from view.

Danny didn't speak as Robin led him down the stairs and through the parking garage. He was content to follow the teen as they continued on, coming out of a maintenance tunnel and stepping into the street. Weak sunlight broke through the ever-present smog, warming the two of them as they walked. It was only when they were about half a mile into this walk that Danny finally broke the silence.

"So, where are we headed?" He asked. Robin stopped abruptly at his question, causing him to bump into the teen's back. "Oof- Robin? Hey, what's-" Danny looked around for what could have made the teen freeze, until something gave him a pause. He looked back at the teen, who was now staring pensively at the ground. A bashful yet thoughtful look on his face. "Oh, I know that look." Of course he knew that look. It was the one Jazz, Sam, Tucker and Dani always described when he did something impulsively. "You didn't plan that far ahead, did you?"

When Robin didn't respond right away, Danny couldn't help but to chuckle. "Glad I'm not the only one who makes split-second decisions." He jokes, smiling at the teen. His smile slowly falls when all Robin does is flinch and frown. "Hey," Danny starts, his playful tone dropping into something more gentle. "It's fine, Robin. I wouldn't mind just wandering around for a few hours." He felt a blush threaten his face as he let a small, mischievous smile tug at his lips. "Especially when I'm wandering around with such amazing company as you."

The cheesy line did the trick, just as Danny was hoping it would. Robin's frown evened out, his expression going back to that look of resting apathy that it usually was, but Danny had spent the past week with him. He could see the slight blush, the way the corners of his lips twitched ever so slightly. He didn't say anything, but Danny could tell that he was pleased, at the very least.

They started walking again, though at a more sedate pace than before. They passed stores, apartments, small vendors, not stopping once but enjoying the calm atmosphere of the city during mid-day. The pair kept away from any alleyway's, though. Just because the city seemed peaceful out in the open, that didn't mean that there weren't crooks and robbers hiding out in the shadow-y, secluded places.

Sometime during their stroll, Robin had loosened his grip on Danny's wrist, his hand trailing down the halfa's arm until their palms were touching. This time, Danny didn't ignore the way his core buzzed and purred at the contact, instead basking in the warm feeling it sent resonating through his chest when their fingers intertwined.

Eventually the two had to come to a stop, their stomachs demanding they find somewhere to eat. The solution to that problem was relatively easy, as they only had to backtrack a little bit to find someplace decent. A Bat Burger seemed to be calling them from across the street, the smell of fast food wafting from the door as it swung closed behind a couple.

Ordering and settling at a booth was a relatively simple affair, and soon they were sitting across from each other once again. Neither of them spoke, neither of them really needed to. Both of them were just relaxed, reveling in each other's presences. They hadn't really left each other's sides since the love potion took effect, excluding certain pesky clowns of course, but something about this time was different than all the time they had spent together before. 'It might be that I'm finally not ignoring everything I feel now,' Danny thought, a smile crossing his face again as he stared at Robing from the corner of his eye.

"Thank you." He said it quietly, but Robin heard him nonetheless.

"For what?" Robin asked, his head tilting to the side.

'Cute,' Danny couldn't help the thought. "For pulling me out of my own head. I can kinda take after my parents when it comes to projects. Especially important ones. My friends and Jazz usually have a hard time convincing me to take a break, so it's kinda nice to have someone not afraid to yank me out by my foot." He chuckles, his hand raising to rub his neck again.

Robin catches it before it makes contact. Bringing it across the table, he places a gentle kiss on the knuckles before setting their interlaced hands down on the tabletop. Danny fights his blush as Robin smirks at him. "You'll find that I am more than capable of interrupting, should it be necessary for you to take a break." Quieter, he mumbled "I's not like I haven't had plenty of practice with Drake and his horrible habits."

Danny perked up, his blush fading as he focused on something else. "Who's Drake?" He asked.

Robin froze for only a second before responding. "Drake is one of my adopted brothers." He admits. "He has the same habit of delving deep into a topic and completely forgetting about the world around him. It takes the whole family to keep him from dying of his own ignorance to his body's demands." The irritation in his tone is tempered by a small amount of fondness, and Danny can't help but to smile knowingly at him.

"Is he really that bad?"

"Yes. Out of all of my siblings, the most self-care rules have been put in place because of Drake. Not that they're followed half the time, but the evidence does speak for itself." He huffed, letting his chin lower to rest on his arm. "If not for our family, Drake would have long since worked himself into the grave."

Danny smirked, sitting up straighter. "You just made a pun!" He accused, his smirk widening into a smile at the look that crossed the other teen's face.

"I did no such thing." He denied, sitting up as well.

"You so did!" Danny giggled, rubbing his thumb across Robin's knuckle. "Don't worry, I won't tell." He winked at Robin, before looking away. "But, back to your brother. That sounds tough."

Robin sighed, but let it go. "Yes, forcing Drake to take proper care of himself can be a very demanding job at times. But, sadly, he's family. And as such, it is my 'moral' obligation to make sure he doesn't perish."

"Yikes. That sounds like a soul-sucking job." Danny tried to tease.

It fell flat when Robin looked him dead in the eye and nodded. "That statement is more true that any of my family would care to admit." Danny choked, his mind wildly trying to think of how to backtrack. Then Robin cracked a small smile, a light and airy laugh leaving him, and Danny knew he had been played.

"Your evil," He grumbles half-heartedly at the vigilante, fighting back a small smirk of his own.

"Trust me," Robin's smile turned slightly devious. "I can be a Lot worse."

Their order was called before Danny could even try to snark back, 'Flirt back? Was Robin flirting with him?', and Robin disentangled his hand from Danny's quickly, hurrying off to get their food before Danny could protest. Leaving said teen to deal with the blush that now encompassed his entire face.

By the time the teen made it back with their food, Danny had managed to wrestle his blush from a full cherry red to a warm pink. Thankfully, Robin didn't mention it, instead just pushing Danny's meal towards him and digging into his own. Danny followed in suite, pulling the wrapper from his burger taking a bite.

They two teens ate in silence, content with the cozy, comfortable atmosphere that surrounded them. But they were only half-way through their meal when the quiet was broken, but not by either of them. A hand slammed down on the table between them, startling both teens. Pausing mid-bite, Danny turned and looked at the hand, before following it up to it's owner's face. Unsurprisingly, it was someone Danny didn't recognize. But a quick glance at Robin made Danny certain that he knew who this was.

"What are you doing here?" The teen growled. 'Yep,' Danny looked between the two, growing wary at how tense Robin had become as he glared at the... Man? He looked a bit young, but he wasn't exactly a teenager, either. Danny was gonna go with guy, then. 'He definitely knows him.'

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Why haven't you come home in the past week, or checked in with us at all? Do you know how stressed everyone has been, searching for you?" The guy crossed his arms, glaring down at Robin with that 'Your doing something stupid and annoying' look. Honestly, it was kinda eerie to see that look on someone besides a teacher. "You need to come home, and at least explain what the hell is going on with you."

Robin didn't respond, which seemed to annoy the guy. He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Seriously?" He asked, one hand falling to rest on his hip. "You're just going to ignore me?" Danny glanced at Robin from the corner of his eye and, sure enough, the teen was staring resolutely at the table as he munched on a fry. By all accounts, it seemed like the teen was ignoring the dude.

Danny knew it was an act when Robin caught his eye, tilting his head ever so slightly down. Danny followed, looking down at his hand. The vigilante lifted three fingers briefly, before letting his hand rest on the table, all his fingers flattening out except for one, which he scrunched up almost like he was pointing. But why was he pointing at the table? Was he pointing at the table? Or maybe...

A small tap, so quiet that for a moment Danny thought that he had imagined it. A few seconds later, another tap. It was only when he heard the third tap that he put it all together. Thinking fast, Danny ducked under the table just as Robin surged up from his seat, is fist making contact with the guy's solar plexus with a meaty thump. Danny couldn't help but wince in sympathy as the dude dropped to the floor with a wheezy gasp, but he didn't bother to check on the guy either. Instead, he slid out from under the table, snagging his burger as Robin grabbed his wrist. In seconds they were out the door and across the street, sprinting around the corner.

From behind them, Danny could hear the man stumble out of the Bat Burger, calling after them. "Wait! Damn it, come back!" He yelled. Danny was forced to bring his attention away from the man as Robin took a hard left. The teen yelped as he was pulled into the alleyway and behind a dumpster. His nose wrinkled at the awful smell, but before he could complain, Robin slapped a hand across his mouth. Danny glared grumpily at the teen, but Robin merely pointed towards the mouth of the alley.

Danny watched as the man ran past them, a strange sort of pride bubbling in his core when he heard the wheezy breaths of the dude ass he passed them. Secretly, he wondered if he could get Robin to use that move on him, one day. Immediately, Danny shook the thought from his head. 'This is no time for those kinds of thoughts,' he told himself.

Both of them stayed crouched down there for a bit, just until they were sure that the guy wasn't coming back. Only when the guy's footsteps had faded from Danny's enhanced hearing, did they deem it safe to venture back out. The halfa couldn't stop his sigh of relief to be away from the trash, taking a deep breath to clear his nose.

The walk back to the parking garage was just as quiet as before, but defiantly more tense. Robin kept to side streets, ducking away from lights and sidewalks that seemed crowded. Honestly, after the last time they were out and about, Danny couldn't really blame him for that one. It took way longer to get back, But Danny didn't complain.

In turn Robin didn't protest the way Danny kept close to him, practically back to chest. Occasionally, their shoulders would bump, or their arms would brush, and it took every bit of self-control he had not to grab Robin's hand. Not that the teen would have minded, with the state he was in, but Danny knew this wasn't the right time for that kind of thing. Not when they were trying to get back without being followed, and defiantly not when he was still trying to sort through his own feelings himself.

By the time they made it back, the sun was casting it's last rays on the city's clouded horizon, turning them various shades of purple and red. Once back at the top of the stairwell, Robin split from him, probably to tell Jaosn about what had happened. Danny stood there for a moment, before heading towards the living room. Settling back down, he gazed at the portal gun's tangled wires with a fresh set of eyes.

His gaze flittered over the circuits and plating, freezing on something he hadn't noticed before. There, hidden by a mass of tangled cables, was a little button. An OFF button. Groaning, he slapped his forehead before reaching out and pressing it. With a click and a beep, the wires made one last spluttering spark before falling dormant. "Of course," he scoffed, half bitter and half exasperated. "Why do my parents have the bad habit of putting an off switch in the worst possible place?" He asked the space around him. Only the silence answered him back.

Shaking himself, Danny sighed and focused on the now safe wires, getting back to work. Now that they weren't zapping him every five seconds, he might actually be able to make better progress with it.

- - -

Tim hissed as he shifted the ice pack on his chest, his breath wheezing just slightly. He had been expecting to deflect a knife, or some sort of thrown projectile. He had been braced and prepared for it, too. He hadn't expected the brat to actually punch him. And, like a complete newbie, he had left his torso unguarded.

He was glad that he was alone in the cave for the moment. Dick was back in Buldehaven, negotiating for time off so that he could better lend a hand, both in searching for Damian and covering for him while the kid was still AWOL. Duke was out dealing with the last of Joker's goons wandering around, Jason was back to ignoring all messages that were left for him, so either he had found something and wasn't in the sharing mood, or he was just being his usual, non-helpful self. Bruce had been called away to deal with a League matter, however reluctant he was to go, and was set to get back just before patrol. And Steph was upstairs with Cass, doing 'Girl Stuff' that they refused to talk about.

Part of Tim wondered if Girl Stuff included whatever Cass and Alfred had been working on. He was incredibly curious about what she and Alfred were up to in there, but had left it alone, more focused on their current predicament. He could investigate Cass's... whatever is in there, later.

Readjusting the ice pack again, Tim pulled away from his thoughts and looked over the security footage that Oracle had sent over again. The video played, just a corner of a busy Gotham street, but then it glitched slightly. Static overlays the clip for a few seconds, before clearing up again, revealing two figures on the opposite side of the street. One was obviously Damian, wearing clothes slightly too big for him, and the other was a teenager. Around the same age as the missing vigilante, and just shorter by an inch or two, there was no mistaking the fact that they were walking together. Tucked close to each other's sides, heads tilted close and holding hands, the two looked like a couple. It had been such an unexpected thing that Tim had questioned if Babs had sent him the right clip. But there was no denying that it was Damian in the video. So the question remained, who was the other guy?

When Tim had first received the video, he had posed that same question to Babs. Both Dick and Duke had seen him before, when they had confronted Damian at the mall, but there was no other real record of him. Running face recognition of the fuzzy, distorted images had brought up nothing, not even a slight match. It was almost if the teen didn't exist, which was not all that astounding in their line of work, but usually meant a lot of trouble.

Sighing, Tim leaned back in his chair, letting the video loop again. 'Just who are you, mysterious Snow-White?', he asked himself, rubbing his eyes. Groaning, he stretched as much as he was able with his new bruise before standing, shaking out the purposefully baggy shirt he had slid on to keep the ice from melting on it. He was trying his best to keep his new injury on the down-low, at least until he could figure out how to explain how their usually predictable, unpredictable wildcard of a little brother got the drop on him in the most unpredictable way possible.

Was it kind of hopeless to hope that Alfred wouldn't notice the odd attire? Yes. Did that mean the teen wasn't going to try at all? No, no it didn't. If Tim had his timing right, he might be able to slip right on up to his room, with no one any the wiser about his current physical condition. And with the abnormal amount of sleep he had been getting for the past few days, it probably wouldn't raise any alarms if he didn't come back out for a while.

Of course, Tim's perfect plan was shattered almost the minute he stepped out of the elevator, to find none other than Alfred himself re-arranging a stack of papers on Bruce's desk. The butler looked to him as he stepped out into the office, his sharp gaze raking over Tim with an intensity most hero's, and maybe even some villains, wish they had. The teen fought the urge to squirm under the man's gaze, and almost drooped alarmingly the minute he looked away.

Hope flared in Tim's chest when Alfred didn't immediately scold him with some witty quip, but it's embers were extinguished just as fast as they appeared when the man simply gestured to the chairs in front of the desk. Cursing mentally, he took a seat, careful of his now aching ribs.

"I would like to assume that you were not attempting to hide an injury from me, were you Master Timothy?" The butler asked, his tone not giving anything away.

Tim shook his head mutely, keeping his gaze fixed on the Superman paper weight they had gotten Bruce for Christmas one year.

"Good. Then I suppose you will have no trouble pulling up your shirt and letting me treat it properly, then?" Tim knew it wasn't a request, complying immediately. The butler let out a "Tsk," before getting to work, poking and probing the afflicted area to make sure nothing was broken before applying a layer of bandaged, then the ice pack, and one last layer of bandages. The cold was now pressed firmly against the bruise, dulling the ache with the cold that it radiated. Tim couldn't really help the sigh of relief that escaped him as the pain eased up.

"Thanks, Alfred." Tim sighed, leaning back in the comfortable chair for a minute before standing again.

"It was no problem, Master Timothy. But please, if you injure yourself, get it treated properly. A poorly placed bandaid will do a broken bone no good." With that, the man turned back to the desk, wiping some dust off one corner.Shaking his head, Tim sighed and left the room, headed for the kitchen. Despite all the sleep he had gotten, and the excess energy now in him, he really just wanted a cup of coffee.

---

(I know that there are some spelling/grammar mistakes, but it's okay because I tried my best!)

For the amazing person who made the prompt for this story, as well as all the lovely people who follow along!

@halfblackwolfdemon @manapeer @xxwintrynightzxx @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 @blu-lilac @academicpurposes @secretdestinywerewolf @passivedecept @naluforever3 @postit-nope @spiteismymiddlename @2t-productions @plague-daisy @feet-achy @bubblecookies16 @thesapphiredragon13 @justwannabecat @magicalcollecter @adeniumdream @amuseofminds @lupagrim @readerkayden @dr-syko-pharm-4 @ladythugs @angelheartgamer @markthespot68 @kyrianclawraith @michikoy-yuki @servasvictoria02 @your-emo-nightmare @vala-dreams @scarlett-green-rose @t1dwarrior-of-earth @charlie-the-frogie @akikoyuii @mysticalcomputerdetective @roseuniverse999 @im-totally-not-an-alien @thefearfullone @weird-droplet-309 @jaytriesstuff @raventao @jacquelynwinchester @dragongoblet @tlise21 @longlivethefallen @the-archer-goddess @temple-of-jalebi @adepresseddwightsblogofjunk @plainly-colorful @the-legalHe-shipper @49saltpeppershakers @igotafewbadideas @tumbling-darkling @sparklygardenbouquet @sarcastic-yami @blueneko9314 @starscreamlover @liedboutmurder @do3y @roze-realm @some-mildly-happy-human @yinari-uchiha @azuera @chaoticmistake @altairsarts @kawaiikenna @heartsong18 @thetoyboxs @tricksovertreats @mnemovoid @lim4b3ans @horribly-lost-and-gay @keimiwolf @dryeraseslime @joey394

[cishetlessfashion]

you will always be a woman 🫶 but you go keep being delusional pooner, in the end you will always be a cis girl with a female brain

That pussy better stank, otherwise I don't want it

Popped a Perc 30, got straight to fuckin'

That pussy dulce, smokin' fentanyl-laced cereal milk, I see God

This shit ain't nothin' to me, man

That pussy got me screamin', cryin', pissin', shittin', shootin' ropes

Yeah, we gettin' that Pirate Bay, alien shish kabob, cordyceps money

I hope them aliens are real, so that I have more things to fuck

Smokin' the Qui-Gon Jinn, Vietnamese, Phillips-head runtz

She suck me, like a cordless Dyson V8

I'm in a k-hole lickin' balloon knot

When I got the meat cannon, I bе shootin' straight rope

This shit ain't nothin' to me, man

Chanel optics got mе seein' shit

I need fentanyl, slime

I just popped a whole garbanzo bean, fuck you mean?

I smoke real Emrānī, rapscallion ghost nuggets

Y'all can't fuck with me

I'm him, I been him, I will continue to be him

Yellow rubies glistenin', like piss

Gulpin' sea monkeys by the gallon, my tummy feel crazy

That coochie yummy, slime

That coochie doin' it for me, slime

They thought they could stop a demon, I'm back

The zaza got me speakin' Esperanto

This shit ain't nothin' to me, man

We out here cloud seedin', the scope gleamin'

You can't trust me, I don't even trust myself

I don't even know who I am anymore, I'm gettin' too much money

Ass so fat, I'm peakin' off this Danny Phantom, slime

Can you remind me who I am?

Get the president on the phone now

I fronted him a brick, I need my money

[faggotmox]

11. Neighbors, and 26. Coming Out!! bryan/yuta!!

mash up! || @di0brando

11. neighbors + 26 coming out

Bryan is frustrated when his new neighbor tries to become his friend.

It started innocently enough with Bryan's new neighbor Wheeler. They both went on runs at the same time in the morning, eventually they started to run together. Then it was about food. Wheeler would leave vegan soy-free food for Bryan so Bryan paid back in kind. After a month of that Wheeler started inviting Bryan over to watch whatever game or MMA match was on. Sometimes other people would be over at Wheeler's place. Some young guy named Danny that always flirted with him and made fun of Wheeler. Two guys just named Mox and Eddie, they always seemed to be around too. There was also the guy Lee, a dude named Orange that never spoke to Bryan and Orange's friends Chuck and Trent. So on and so on.

Thing was Bryan couldn't figure out why. It seemed like Wheeler had plenty of friends in his life, apparently he and Mox worked out so Bryan's nutrition and physical health advice wasn't special. But Wheeler was always finding a reason to be around Bryan. Even going to far as to get Bryan a few plants for his collection. Perhaps it crossed his mind once or twice that this fine young man was maybe into him, maybe this was flirting and courting, but Bryan was pretty sure Wheeler wasn't gay. Danny had pointedly teased him about a girlfriend once or twice.

It was a little frustraing to say the least. Bryan lived a quiet life, not completely isolated but he didn't have people over all the time. He didn't have places to be. Not the way Wheeler did. So, Bryan changed his running time half the days of the week. A lame excuse to Wheeler about being up earlier at the vet clinic. Answering Wheeler's text was less frequent. The exchange of food had nearly stopped, and Bryan hadn't been inside of Wheeler's apartment in three months. Wheeler had expressed concern that was mostly ignored. And Bryan noticed Mox and Eddie would glare at him very pointedly whenever they crossed paths between townhouses.

It was Bryan's choice to start distancing himself from Wheeler, but it also made him feel horrible. Most of his time was taken up thinking about Wheeler. If he was eating right, eating enough, if the Phillies won or the Eagles. There was a wrestling DVD on Bryan's coffee table that had meant to go to Wheeler ages ago, but he kept it there, staring at it daily to remind himself of his own distance.

"Okay, so like what's your god damn problem?" Eddie finally snapped at Bryan as they passed by each other. It was early, Mox was nowhere to be seen which was who normally kept Eddie at bay.

"Nothing." Bryan answered as he kept automatically walking towards his car, trying to fish his keys out of his scrubs pocket.

"Nothing." Bryan said blandly as he automatically kept waling towards his car, trying to he fish the keys to his car out of the pocket of his scrubs.

"Don't walk away from me while I'm speakin' to you." Eddie spat, as he spun around on the heels of his Tims.

"I don't have a problem, Eddie." Bryan stopped the nearly ten feet away.

"Like hell ya don't." Eddie grunted, his hand waving dismissively.

"I have to go or I'll be late for work." Bryan lied. He always made sure he had a half hour before work by the time he left in the morning.

"I can see right through your pathetic ass, Danielson." Eddie made the motion with two figures towards his eyes then at Bryan, to say he was watching the other man.

Later that night Bryan carried his tired body home, walking up the short walkway seemed like a marathon after the day he had at the clinic. As he turned the corner he saw Wheeler sitting on the little porch under a greening light. It looked like he was smoking?

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Bryan accused as he walked straight up to the just above waist high fence that made the outdoor space a patio.

"Uh...?" Wheeler blinked dumbly.

"Did Eddie and Mox get you to start smoking cigarettes?" Bryan asked in disbelief. "Those pricks. I can't believe they would press--"

"It's weed, Bryan." Wheeler looked utterly confused as he stared up at his older neighbor. "And it's a tobacco free wrap."

"O...Oh." Bryan cleared his throat, a small blush spread over his face.

"Yeah." Wheeler leaned forward. "Want some? Maybe then you won't be such a prick."

"Guess I deserve that." Bryan sighed but shook his hand at the blunt. "No. I don't smoke."

A long silence stretched between them. It made Bryan's skin itch. Why had he even approached Wheeler? The kid's habit weren't his crosses to bear. Just when Bryan was thinking about saying good night Wheeler reached down to grab something then plopped it down in front of Bryan. Take out boxes. From Bryan's favorite place.

"I know it's your long day at the clinic. You don't want to cook." Wheeler pointed out, and he was right on both accounts.

"Where you waiting for me?" Bryan's face scrunched up, not knowing if that was weird or endearing.

"Kinda. Not like I'll see you regularly anymore." Wheeler huffed. The weed apparently made him mouthy. "You know, if you didn't want to date me you could have just said so or said you weren't gay if that were the case. Didn't have to be a dick about it."

Bryan felt like his expression was just a loading screen. His brain flipping and flopping back and forth in its tiny space. Had Wheeler really just said that? The heavy beats of Bryan's heart against his chest brought him out of thought. Or maybe it was Wheeler saying something that brought him back.

"It's whatever. It's fine." Wheeler went on with a sigh. "It just sucked. All my friends heard about this amazing guy next door and then you were a prick.

"...I didn't know." Bryan said quietly, still in some shock.

"Didn't know what?" Wheeler's face screwed up in a pout.

"That you were gay." Bryan admitted and it was like every lightbulb went off for Wheeler.

"Are you?" Wheeler's tone sounded so hopeful yet dripping in annoyance.

"Yes, actually." Bryan swallowed around the lump in his throat as Wheeler's eyes got huge.

"Then, I don't know, you want to go on a date?" Wheeler stood up as he asked, a dopey grin on his face as he left behind the blunt.

"Sure. It could be nice." Bryan grinned back at the beautiful look on Wheeler's face. "Let's go on a date, Wheeler."

[televinita]

That 90s Show - thoughts after 1 episode

But first, background re: me and That 70s Show --

I watched it when it aired, and I’m pretty sure I even started with season 1, as an actual teenager. It was one of the first and few primetime shows I latched onto before age 16, and I watched it all the way to the bitter end*. Have also rewatched it countless times in syndication and on DVD; it has infinite replay value to me and I love everyone and quote random lines to this day.

(*although honestly, I didn’t hate season 8! As much as I missed Eric, I loved Randy and thought he was a fine alternative option; my qualms were limited mainly to the Jackie/Hyde breakup and the even worse switch to Jackie/Fez)

So I went into this very scared of how this might tarnish the original. I came out...so relieved and happy!

The Actual Thoughts, In Three Acts

Part 1: Adult Formans

I DEEPLY UNDERESTIMATED THE PURE JOY I WOULD FEEL AT SEEING RED/KITTY/ERIC/DONNA/THE FORMANS’ HOUSE IN A NEW AGE

Topher Grace has not aged in the last 15 years, amazing.

ERIC/DONNA ERIC/DONNA ERIC/DONNA

(I have always shipped them at least by default, because obviously, but their married dynamic takes it to a whole new plane of joy I didn’t know existed)

Eric as a dad is the other kind of joy I didn’t know my life needed. I love the idea of her being his “little buddy” all her life. If I cared more about the daughter we would rapidly be approaching Jurassic World levels of family squee here.

who am I kidding, his final blessing and their hug (and my relief that she didn’t actually get a hole poked in her perfect face) gave me EXACTLY that.

P.S. PROFESSOR ERIC WHO GETS TO TEACH A CLASS ON HIS MOST BELOVED HEART’S JOY! and PUBLISHED AUTHOR DONNA! I love these journeys for them.

I love that Red is clearly a softie where his granddaughter is concerned (the request for a cheek kiss!!), but also still has an edge. That’s exactly what I wanted.

Kitty serving up those “the nights are the hardest...but then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night...and then the night comes again!...” guilt vibes. 😍 😍

and the “I wish you’d call me Mom” / “feels forced” war

and her joy in going out to shop for “all the -itos!” to feed the newest batch of stray-cat teens

basically everything this Core Four did or said was glorious

also loved Eric’s tiny meltdown as first Donna and then his own mother betray him by supporting Leia’s wish to ditch father/daughter space camp, followed by Baby(skin)’s First Foot-In-Ass Threat.

I didn’t write down most of the quotes because there were too many good ones, but I absolutely love “Leia staying here isn’t the craziest idea. Your parents can watch her.” / “Were you not here with me in the 70s??”

And also Red’s “you’re Upstairs People now.” Hehehehehe.  

Part 2: Other Nostalgia-Based Feelings

I am so sad that Danny Masterson turned out gross and awful because I miss Hyde and this world feels off-kilter without him.

But I am grateful that the show is going to simply ignore him instead of stamping down some awful canon reason like "hyde can’t come to the screen right now because he’s DEAD” (or in prison)

I’ll allow Jackie/Kelso for the sheer meta-cuteness of them having eventually ended up together in real life, even though really, it would have been nice if she had ended up with someone rich and successful and not from Point Place.

I will not allow this rude, shallow, worst-of-season-1 Jackie who gets married and divorced to the same old idiot on a whim. what is this. where is the GROWTH. Did Fez use some sort of FDA-banned hair treatment on her that leached memory-destroying poison into her brain??

maybe she gets better later. I will hope.

love that I can’t be sad about Donna’s childhood home being sold because let’s face it, that is an ugly house. Looking forward to finding out where Bob went. I assume he’s a millionaire now, given his life’s impossible success trajectory to date.

(also, I really liked seeing her old room updated for the 90s!)

speaking of houses, I love SO MUCH that the set decorators knew what they were doing and kept fair bit the same while updating some key pieces like the living room sofa, i.e. how real people live. At least, that’s the fleeting impression I got; will have to study it more (or read other posts from people who have) to know for sure.

My single biggest fear starting That 90s Show was that they’d go buck-wild with swearing, but they.....held themselves to the same FCC standards as the original???? I am afraid to ask if it stays this way but I hope.

Part 3: The Kids

First impressions (while watching): oh, yeah, they’re a vapid school-of-fish nothing to me so far.

Second impressions, upon reflection: Leia has some potential to be likeable, and maybe Gwen if she softens a bit? Also, I went into this ep like “please don’t make them be into each other just to increase your diversity quota,” but then all the boys turned out unappealing of face or personality and more importantly, from the very first second Creeper Leia peeked in through Gwen’s window there was chemistry, so. Notes and expectations for season 2!!

(side note: I remind you that I am the woman who 9 times out of 10 cannot come up with a single f/f couple she actually ships; also will normally choose “best friends” over gals being more than pals 999 times out of 1000; also if there is an option for the opposite-sex offspring of two couples who are friends to be into each other that is ALWAYS where I align. Until now, apparently. That’s how strong this chemistry is.)

As for the other kids... Ozzie’s voice is currently intolerable to me and I don’t care about the rest or even know the dating couple’s names, although the non-Kelso guy is serving up some decent Original Kelso vibes that could grow on me.

tl;dr you can lead me to a show ostensibly about teenagers but you can’t make me emotionally invest

In Conclusion: I only remember the highlights, so, A+ start! Looking forward to more random what-year-even-is-it, anachronism-is-fine 90s trends/references in future episodes; I am not even going to bother worrying about how the chronology works since it was the late 70s for eight years straight last time and we can’t even all agree on whether season 8 counts. :p

[itwas50yearsagotoday]

8/26/23: It was 50 years ago today, August 26th, 1973, the majority of what would become Neil Young's sixth studio album Tonight's the Night was recorded. Yep... unusual that I talk only about recorded dates as opposed to release dates, as this record would not be released until almost two years later in June of '75. Since that's outside of the parameters of this blog I thought it would be a good time to address it now. Along with perhaps a couple earlier albums, Rust Never Sleeps in '79, and maybe Freedom in '89, this is often cited as Mr. Young's greatest creative document... definitely not commercial, as this record is perceived as Young's very negative reaction to the stardom that the Harvest album and prior successes had so recently brought him. As a semi-anonymous Wikipedia author notes, this record is an immediate expression of grief, as within the previous several months both Crazy Horse guitarist Danny Whiten and roadie Bruce Berry had both died of drug overdoses; the latter is stated in the opening title track while Whiten shares the lead singing duties with Neil in an earlier live version of the Crazy Horse tune 'Come on Baby Let's Go Downtown' as his representation on the record. This is not a record to listen to at 11 AM on a Saturday... I read that somewhere, and it's totally fucking true. This is either the best or worst record to listen to when you're in a drunken depression. I got this as a cassette after reading about the record in the Rolling Stone Record Guide, as I was just getting into his solo tunes 'Old Man' and 'Southern Man' (although I first heard Young in an MTV video for his retro-rockabilly tune 'Wonderin''... Neil in the '80s was weird)... well this record ain't nothing like those hit tunes, but the directness and despair of the songs are almost awe-inspiring. Note that when I say these songs are 'great' almost none of them are songs you could really singalong to, and certainly are not meant for any Top 40 list. The opening track about Berry is great, as is the second track 'Speakin' Out'... I mean you really feel like you're watching a midnight flick with Neil sharing popcorn with him... and then his mini-duet with Nils Lofgren on piano while he shreds the guitar is just something to behold. I like the perfunctory 'World on a String' too... it's kind of a repulsive reaction to a song with a similar name by Sinatra... if any song gets Neil's state of mind on this record, this one does. I used to not like 'Borrowed Tune'... just Neil and a piano... but hearing it again for the first time in decades gave me some goosebumps... it was the latest song recorded for the record (Dec. '73)... this leads into a sonic blast of 'Downtown' as mentioned above, certainly the first song I liked on the record because it fucking rocks... now I think I might like the original Crazy Horse version better (sans Young), but I'm not sure anymore. 'Mellow My Mind' stretches Young's vocal chords to an extreme you rarely hear... it's kinda rough but not as much as I used to think. The second side opens with two serious mellow songs that almost should go together: 'Roll Another Number' and 'Albuquerque', both desert-driving songs, probably while very stoned. Songs that I definitely did not appreciate at the age of 16 but definitely do now, especially the latter... it's got more great piano from Lofgren, and some sweet harmonies, Neil's harmonica and guitar, everything... just great. I think the best song on the second side is 'Lookout Joe' which was recorded with the Stray Gators, the same group he toured with for the Harvest tour (oh we'll get there with Time Fades Away!)... it is moderately paced but man it rocks. Bookending the record we have a reprise of the title track... there are a couple other decent songs but Tumblr apparently now has a text limit (booo!). Anyway, get it (from YouTube, not Spotify).

[ghostbxsted]

"Uh, yeah." Danny says, as if the subject of fighting ghosts was the most obvious thing in the world. "You got transported to a whole 'nother dimension and you're questioning the fact I've had to wrestle ghosts? Which, by the way, is super hard to do if you don't have the right equipment. Which I don't, because I just got here, and they took all my gadgets and powers. So, honestly, angry ghosts coming back for revenge is the last thing anyone should want. It'd be such a pain,"

He's not going to grace that last comment with an answer. He was PLENTY tough, thank you. Well, Phantom was, and even though he can't transform right now -- he was totally all Phantom right now.

His stomach does decide then to rumble loudly. Louder than one would think capable of coming from a scrawny ass kid. He blinks, barking out a surprised laugh despite himself.

"Betcha I could eat 13 burgers. Speakin' of which -- last one there is a rotten egg!" With that, he's bolting ahead like someone who's got experience running for his life. He may not be physically enhanced at the moment, but he was still a pretty fast kid. Maybe in another life, he could've joined the track team.

ghostbxsted​:

Danny stares off into an unoccupied space for a moment. In his head, there’s a miniature narrator voice experiencing a classical record-scratch moment as he addresses a non-existent audience: Now, you’re probably wondering how the heck I ended up in this situation. The answer is I have no effin’ clue.

Anyways, he does not need to be told twice that they need to skedaddle. He’s the one who said it first.

“Uh, there’s a burger-joint open 24/7 down the block,” he says after a moment, legs moving on auto-pilot, voice a little faint. He is not going to think about the blood. The authorities will come with paramedics and they’ll be fine and there won’t be any ghost-thugs to haunt the streets.

A beat passes. The kid does not lose momentum. Unfortunately, his legs are kinda short, so he can only walk so fast without an enhanced physiology. “And, uh, thanks for the save? Gee. Sorry. Back home I was usually the one kickin’ butts and takin’ names but they’re usually, like, not human and already, uh, dead–”

"What, ghosts?" He asks skeptically-- see, ghosts are something you ignore, the victims of your past, until this place manifests them quite literally. Razlo does slow his roll just a little bit, his legs are rather long, aren't they, and make for fast-walking. He won't pick Danny up by the shirt like a naughty puppy just yet.

"I could eat about 12 burgers at this rate..."

And he just might. He doesn't seem concerned about the trouble, and his soul certainly isn't weighed down by the violence he just took out on these thugs.

"You gotta toughen up, kid."

[devildumbasses]

Luke: God give me patience.

Solomon: Isn’t the saying “God give me strength”?

Luke: if he gave me strength, you’d all be dead by now.

[mudstoneabyss]

not finished with deltarune ch 2 yet but daniel can an must have the same energy as queen

[swampghouls]

lowkey am feelin like writing fic for the first time in forever bc my boy bev's relationship with his dad just hits in some kinda way

[danaera-of-clanciorba]

"Ha! Kit-kat's already speakin' our language!" Bernard chuckled.

Danny rolled her eyes. He was so damn annoying...

"Some are smart" Daemon said, "they feed off animals instead of humans, but they have to feed more often in that case"

Lilith had been running for hours, trying to outrun the hunters that had been chasing her. She had found her way to a clearing that had a long fall at the end of it and she knew that her luck may have ran out, she turned and looked at wherever the hunters would come, standing her ground.

(Made an oc, that’s a Werecat!)

The wolves were out tonight and they smelled someone or something new in their territory. Daemon had smelled something similar before, but not in a long time. Werecats were, in fact, rare, especially of the smaller variety.

But humans had also come. Daemon being the alpha of the pack, had no desire to put the rest of his family in danger. He told the others to stay close to the pack house while he dealt with the humans coming too close.

The hunters became the hunted, and soon all were taken out by the largest lycanthrope one could ever see. A giant, black furred wolf the size of a war horse, with eyes that gleamed like rubies. Daemon was a sight to behold, typical of a Giru lycanthrope, as rare as they were. Knowing the werecat most likely wouldn't talk willingly, the Giru had to use the alpha voice.

"State your business here, child".

The Alpha Voice had the power to control any lycanthrope, no matter the type. Daemon only used it sparingly, not wanting to interfere with the free will of others. But werecats and werewolves had a very hostile relationship to say the least. They were rivals by nature, so it made sense. Even now Daemon was resisting the urge to tear the young one apart.

[muselived]

DANNY’S BIRTHDAY IS IN TWO DAYS DANNY’S BIRTHDAY IS IN TWO DAYS D

[thelastspeecher]

Here's an idea! It's one of the hottest summer days in Gravity Falls and Danny and Daisy leave to do some business at the golf course, taking a wagon full of supplies. Stan and Angie just assume they're off to collect golf balls. But when they go to bring them home for lunch, they find their daughters conning rich people out of their money selling expensive "homemade lemonade and cookies" to customers. Hiding the store packaging in a bag. Stan looks on with pride, while Angie is flabbergasted!

Sorry it took me a hot minute, but here it is! Hope it's to your specifications! And I'm now officially done with the prompts in my inbox!

———————————————————————————————————–

              The bell over the Gift Shop door jingled.  Without looking up from the money he was counting at the register, Stan spoke.

              “Gift Shop’s closed fer lunch.”

              “It ain’t closed fer yer wife now, is it?”  Stan looked up.  Angie stood in the doorway.  “If it is, we might have to have a chat or two ‘bout shared property.”

              “The Gift Shop’s never closed fer you,” Stan confirmed.  Angie stepped inside and let the door close behind her.

              “Good.”

              “I mean, you’ve got a key.”

              “Stan.”

              “Of course, if ya let me teach you how to pick a lock, ya wouldn’t need one.”

              “Stan.”  Angie rolled her eyes.  “Enough with the lock pickin’.  And don’t think I ain’t aware that you’ve already taught not just the girls, but the boys, too, how to do it.”

              “Who snitched?” Stan asked.  Angie crossed her arms.

              “No one.  I caught Emmett tryin’ to get into the gun safe.  I figured if ya taught him, ya had to teach the others, too.”  Angie sighed.  “I didn’t ground him, but I did tell him to spread word to his siblin’s that they’re not s’pposed to use those lock pickin’ skills to get around our house rules.”

              “It’s not like groundin’ would do anything,” Stan muttered under his breath.  He put the cash back into the register.  “Kid barely leaves the house.”  Angie walked over and punched his arm.  “Ow.”

              “Oh, pish posh, that didn’t hurt ya.”

              “Physically, no.  Emotionally…” Stan said slowly.  Angie snickered quietly.  Seizing the opportunity, Stan flung his arm across his face dramatically.  “Punched in my best arm by my own wife!  I don’t think I’ll ever recover!”  Angie’s snickering became full-on laughter.

              “Dork,” she said, once she was finished laughing.  Stan winked at her.

              “Yer dork.”

              “Yes, yes, yer my dork.”  Angie kissed Stan on the cheek.  “But seriously, try to be a bit more supportive of Emmett, okay?  I know he’s a bit odd and anxious, but he’s a good kid.  And he’s been tryin’ to be more outgoin’ lately.  Or did ya forget that he and Emory are out at another kid’s house?”

              “I know.  That’s why I had to put Soos on register this mornin’.”  Stan frowned.  “Where are the girls, again?”

              “The golf course.”

              “Why?  I thought we raised ‘em better than to spend time ‘round rich people,” Stan said.  Angie shrugged.

              “They’re collectin’ golf balls.  There’s good money in resellin’ ‘em if ya retrieve ‘em from sand traps ‘n ponds ‘n whatnot.”

              “Huh.”  Stan nodded slowly.  “Good.  I knew those two were smart.”

              “All the kids are smart.”  Angie checked her watch.  “Speakin’ of the girls, I figured we’d drop some lunch off fer ‘em.  Don’t want ‘em to use their hard-earned money on junk food or somethin’.”

              “It’s their money, they can spend it on what they want.”

              “We have perfectly fine food at home.  They shouldn’t spend money to buy ice cream from the lil shop across the street,” Angie said firmly.  Stan raised an eyebrow.

              “There’s an ice cream shop across the street from the golf course?”

              “Yes.”

              “Let’s get goin’.”  Stan grabbed his car keys.  Angie sighed.  “Ang, we’ve been over this.  I can be immature as long as I’m technically still more mature than the kids.”

              “I hate when ya nickel ‘n dime stuff like this,” Angie muttered.  Stan kissed her forehead.

              “Don’t act like yer not in the mood fer ice cream, too.”

              “…Maybe,” Angie conceded.  Stan waggled his eyebrows at her.  “All right, we can get ice cream.”

-----

              When the Stanleymobile turned onto the street the golf course was on, they immediately saw the line.

              “What the hell?” Stan muttered.  “Is golf really that popular here?”

              “Given how long we’ve lived in Gravity Falls, I think we’d know if golf was the most popular pastime fer folks,” Angie said.  “There’s got to be some other reason folks are lined up like that.”  She leaned forward.  “Looks like the crowd’s in the parkin’ lot.  Ya best park at the ice cream shop.”

              “Gladly.”  Stan turned into the ice cream shop’s parking lot, came to a stop, and turned off the car.  He looked at a poster on the outside of the shop, advertising a new flavor.  “They’ve got yer favorite flavor, Ang.”

              “Really?!”  Angie looked over.  She gasped.  “Places almost never have peaches ‘n cream!”

              “So we’re definitely stoppin’ after we give the girls their lunch?”

              “Oh, definitely,” Angie said firmly.  She and Stan got out of the car.  Angie grabbed the bag lunches before closing the passenger side door.  Stan looked across the street.  Now that they were closer, he could see the cause of the crowd.  There was some sort of stand set up in the parking lot.

              “What’s that stand sellin’ and where do I get some cheap?” he asked idly.  Angie rolled her eyes.

              “You sell more ‘n enough as is.”

              “We’ve got smart kids that need to go to college.”

              “Yes, and ‘cause they’re smart, they’ll get scholarships.  Like I did.”  Angie began to walk away.  “Or did ya forget?” she called over her shoulder.  Stan jogged briefly to catch up with her.

              “I know they’ll get scholarships, but you gotta be prepared for everything,” he said.  “The kids sometimes have issues in school.  What if they lose their scholarships over that?”

              “By the time college comes ‘round, they’ll be better equipped to handle what causes issues fer ‘em,” Angie said.

              “Yeah, but-”  Stan came to a sudden stop.  He’d heard a familiar voice.  He looked at Angie.  Judging by her expression, she’d heard the same thing.  “Are ya sure the girls wanted to come here to collect golf balls?”

              “They didn’t actually tell me what they were doin’.  I assumed.”

              “Ya know what they say about assumin’,” Stan muttered.  The familiar voice from before carried above the chatter of the crowd.

              “That’ll be five dollars, thank you, sir.”

              “They’re not collectin’ golf balls,” Angie said quietly.

              “Not unless somethin’ stole Daisy’s voice like when I got my face stolen that one time.”

              “Ugh.  Don’t remind me.”  Angie sighed.  “Should we get in line?”

              “What?  No!  We’re their parents.  That makes us VIPs,” Stan said firmly.  He grabbed Angie’s free hand and pulled her through the crowd, ignoring people scolding them for cutting ahead.  When they got to the stand, they could see it was surprisingly well-made.  A sign at the top read “D&D’s Homestyle Treats”.  And behind the stand stood their thirteen-year-old twin daughters, Danny and Daisy.

              “Uh-oh,” Danny mumbled quietly.  Daisy, however, grinned toothily.

              “Hi Ma!  Hi Dad!  Do you want some homemade stuff?” she asked.  Angie crossed her arms.

              “Homemade?”

              “Yep!”

              “I don’t recall ya makin’ lemonade ‘n cookies at home ‘fore ya left.”

              “You’re getting older, maybe you’re forgetting,” Daisy suggested.  Danny gasped.  She punched her twin’s shoulder.

              “Daisy don’t say somethin’ so rude!”

              “What?  It’s true.  Anyways, Ma and Dad, could we have this conversation a bit away from our customers?”

              “Smart,” Stan said with a nod.  He and Angie walked a few feet away.  Danny carefully placed a sign that said “Back in ten minutes” on the stand, then she and Daisy joined their parents.  “All right you two.  Spill.”

              “We’re just bein’ entrepreneurs like you raised us,” Danny said.  Angie frowned at her.  “What?”

              “Are ya actually sellin’ homemade goods?”

              “Uh, no,” Daisy said.  “They’re store-bought.”

              “Then why are ya claimin’ it’s homemade?”

              “There’s better money in it,” Daisy said simply.  Stan nodded again.

              “Smart,” he repeated.  Angie gave him a look.  “What?  It is!  I think we should be proud of the girls fer bein’ so savvy.”

              “I-”  Angie kneaded her forehead.  “I didn’t raise y’all to lie.”

              “Too bad,” Daisy said with a shrug.  “Dad did.”

              “We’re not completely lying,” Danny put in.  “There’s an asterisk on the sign after the word ‘homemade’ and if anyone asks we’ll tell ‘em the truth.  We’re also saying the asterisk out loud, but since asterisks don’t make sounds, they can’t hear it.”

              “Heh!”  Stan grabbed his daughters and gave them affectionate noogies.  “That’s my girl!  Havin’ a way out on a technicality!  I’m so proud of you two!”

              “It…is very clever,” Angie said slowly.  She sighed.  “Did yer Uncle Fidds help ya set up the stand?”

              “Yep!” Daisy chirped.

              “Where is he?”

              “The ice cream shop across the street.  Don’t worry, he’s been keepin’ an eye on us,” Danny said.  Angie nodded.

              “Good.  Good.  I’m fine with the two of ya doin’ things unsupervised, but even in Gravity Falls, I feel more comfortable knowin’ yer sellin’ stuff to strangers if’n ya have someone we trust nearby to watch ya.”

              “Especially in Gravity Falls,” Stan corrected his wife.  “Or did you forget when the gnomes tried to kidnap Danny?”  Danny shuddered.

              “Stupid weird little men,” she muttered.  Angie sighed again.

              “All right, all right.  I’ll let this slide.  You two can go back to makin’ money by lyin’.”

              “We did learn it from Dad,” Daisy pointed out.

              “That’s precisely why I’m lettin’ it slide.”  Angie smiled fondly.  “Ya best get back ‘fore yer customers get impatient.”  Stan let Danny and Daisy loose.  “First, take yer lunches.”  Angie handed over the lunch bags.  The girls quickly gave each parent a hug before scurrying back to their stand.  Stan looked at Angie.

              “Yer proud of ‘em.  I can tell.”

              “I can’t deny that you were right ‘bout this bein’ savvy behavior,” Angie said.  “Thinkin’ things through like this will help get ‘em far in life.”  Stan put his arm around Angie’s shoulders.

              “Yep.”  He grinned.  “So…ice cream?”

              “Yes.  Ice cream.”

[ectonurites]

Okay, so I kinda wanna know your thoughts about how weird the fandom portrays the bat characters. Canon is ... not my favorite, but it actually offers a lot of nuance to the characters that I think makes them all interesting. Unlikable, but interesting. I noticed fanon tends to boil the batkids all into these superflat caricatures. Like, cereal obsessed manchild Dick Grayson or bad boy who's literal crimes are only because of the lazarus pit Jason Todd. Its not really a major problem, just weird

Oh I have a LOT of thoughts about this. I try so hard not to shit on how other people interact with content because like, it’s comic books! We’re all just here trying to make the best out of a mess of stuff and have fun, but admittedly a lot of fanon stuff drives me fuckin’ nuts as someone who reads a ton of comics.

Like, I like memes, obviously, I draw tons of memes with the batfam (+ yj) characters and make lighthearted jokes etc etc, and honestly if it’s just for jokes then I don’t mind people having whack interpretations of the characters quite as much. The thing that drives me up a wall though is like... when serious works and analysis and discussion are very clearly based on just the fanon interpretations without any bearing on canon aside from what you could skim from a wiki page, and it’s spoken like it’s fact! There’s ‘having fun with jokes that aren’t taking things that seriously’ and then there’s ‘blatantly mischaracterizing based on misinformation’. Way too often I see things fall into that second category.

Now, a lot of people in the batfam fandom don’t... actually read comics (or at least not frequently) and that’s not even a bad thing necessarily, like you’re 100% allowed to enjoy content however you want to! (I don’t wanna be gatekeepey, especially since comics are confusing to get into)

But the problem is that when a lot of people aren’t reading the comics, then the people who do’s opinions have a lot more influence if they’re loud enough. All it takes is one person who read something and interpreted it a specific way that might not even be correct, and then it can echo chamber and suddenly half the fandom thinks it’s 100% canon that way because ‘oh so and so said that and they actually read it’.

I also think that’s a problem with the popularity of out of context panels/blogs, while they are super funny sometimes, when people make assumptions about characters based on just a few things without context... it can lead to problems. If enough people say something enough times people just... start to think it’s true, even if it exists entirely devoid of context which changes the meaning.

Like, for example, according to canon there’s no actual confirmation Tim stalked Batman on foot for an extended period of time! We know from Lonely Place of Dying that he followed him once to get a picture to convince DIck that he still needed a Robin. Otherwise his ‘stalking’ & how he figured out Batman’s identity was more through media appearances (like newspapers and tv). This is wildly different from the common fanon idea that little Timmy was sneaking out regularly to follow Batman & Robin around with his camera.

I primarily blame Geoff Johns for this misconception because of these panels in in tt 2003 (from issue 29)

But like, think about it for a second, literally how would Jason know that? This is one of the first times he’s ever interacting with Tim, and he was dead/catatonic when that would have been happening! He is either making a wild assumption or perhaps Talia told him this when she told him about Tim, whichever of those it was it’s secondhand information not something he witnessed. Taking his word as fact here makes no sense, he was just trying to get under Tim’s skin while fighting him. But seeing those panels out of context if you haven’t actually read Lonely Place of Dying/only read a vague summary of it, and don’t necessarily know the details of the Jason situation, it could absolutely lead you to believe otherwise!

Dick as a cereal manchild is a weird one because like... okay yeah sure he likes cereal, I can think of like two panels I’m too lazy to find right now off the top of my head of him having it, but... that’s not something we see all the time! Its not like Ollie & his chili (which IS a running joke- seriously I have not read that many Green Arrow comics but the amount of times I’ve seen that man bring up chili in just in the few things I have read is wild. there’s even an official recipe. his chili has it’s own dc wiki page). Then, because Dick isn’t quite as emotionally closed off in the same way the rest of the batfam tends to be, people project literally all the pent up feelings onto him, making him this hug-crazy crybaby manchild... again it’s just very clear people who perpetuate those ideas (outside of like, maybe as jokes) haven’t actually fully read that many comics with him. I’d also even blame the Young Justice cartoon version of Dick for some other traits fanon Dick has, bc that version of him is def a bit of a Hot Mess™️ once he’s Nightwing 

Jason I understand misconceptions about probably the most because of how wildly inconsistent his writing was before the new 52 and how consistently Not Great it was once Lobdell took over. Jason’s one of the few characters I have read like, 90% of appearances for so I’m speakin’ from experience here. But still... acting like Jason as Red Hood is just a ‘bad boy rebel’ that could have a relatively happy connection with the whole Batfam is fun but unrealistic. You can not blame everything on the lazarus pit... he still has killed people! Lots of people! Willingly! Yes he has reasons and when he’s being written well it’s clear that he’s not just ‘random murder happy’ but rather ‘I kill when I feel they deserve it and that it’s necessary’ which is what keeps him an anti-hero rather than a full fledged villain most of the time, but that still keeps him so at odds with the rest of the Batfamily! Writers in more current continuity have had him compromise by only using rubber bullets in Gotham so they can have him interact with the family, but he’s still killed and will do it when he deems it necessary.

Also like... at the time of Under The Red Hood in the comics... theoretically... he hadn’t even been in the lazarus pit for well over a year. Go read Lost Days (it’s short! And except for the thing with him & Talia towards the end of the last issue it’s pretty good!), he spends a lot of time traveling the world and learning things/training before the events of UtRH. Yes you could interpret there still being some Lazarus influence going on there but I think the movie version of UtRH especially leads people to believe there’s a lot less time between his dunk in the pit and his first actions as Red Hood.

Fanon also has a lot of ideas about pit madness that vary wildly from what we have seen in canon, like yeah it’s been said to be a thing to some extent, but there’s not really the Danny Phantom Glowing Green Eyes™️ or anything like that... it’s fun to explore cool new ideas for sure but I just think it’s important to recognize the distinction between things that are actually canon and things that are popular fanon. (Also there are things that fall somewhere in between, there’s definitely stuff that isn’t 100% confirmed canon but could still be plausible/has been hinted at by some writers/is only canon in some settings)

Other things that drive me nuts are ‘quiet does-no-wrong angel Cass’ and ‘the Normal One™️ Duke’ because those just make literally no sense if you’ve read any comics with either of them... but fan content either does those versions or just completely ignores their existence a lot of the time! So! That’s a whole bigger problem!

In general though, this is fandom it’s not like this... matters that much on the grand scheme of things in life, we’re just people on social media talkin’ about comics. And this kind of misconception/flattening of characters does happen in literally every fandom ever. But it still does suck to see characters that have a lot of nuance and interesting history to play around with get reduced to a few traits that aren’t even actually that relevant to who they are.

[toseektoknoww]

evvery time i think about grease i wwant to punch someone

[thevoilinauttheory]

Ink Long Dry: Remember Me

MAHI Prompt Words Used: Guide, Gyr Abania Figured I’d lump this in with my Ink Long Dry prompts, seeing as a lot of it was word vomit to push me into writing again - since I’ve been neglecting it. And it’s rather lackluster (in my opinion) Characters: Maximiloix Voilinaut, Danny Harold What: Young Danny gets a visitor - one he’s really happy to see. Content Notes: Mentions of bullying, f o o d

The home was lively when he stepped in, greeted by his old friend with much gladness in his voice.

“Maxim! Came all the way out here just for us?” Maximiloix offered a bright smile, patting him on the shoulder firmly. “Seems I have! Caro n’I just returned from Gyr Abania - reminded me of ya’.” “Is that right? C’mon in, make yourself at home. I’ll let Tyaka know you’re here.”

It wasn’t uncommon for him to drop by Jeramias’s house, especially after long excursions - the excuse was to visit his friend, to see how he was doing. In truth, he didn’t care much. He came to see another. He watched as three children ran into view, chasing each other around the spaces between chairs and tables, through the halls. One halted upon seeing him, a boy with spun gold hair and the brightest green eyes - the most sunshine smile anyone could have. “Uncle Maxim!”

Maximiloix only grinned in return, kneeling down to boy’s height opening his arms to catch the child as he near tackled him over with a hug. “Danny, my boy! Look how much you’ve grown! Gonna be taller than your Da soon, ain’t ya’?” “Doubt it.” Danny placed a hand on top of his own head - he was shorter than other kids his age, but he did grow a little since Maximiloix had seen him last. Barely thirteen summers old, now, if he recalled correctly. “Where’d ya’ go this time! Got any stories- did you bring anything!” Excitement came back to him, fists shaking in anticipation. “Sorry, kiddo, nothin’ today.” He waited for the eventual pout before ruffling his hair. “Kiddin’, ‘course I’ve got somethin’ for ya’!” Perhaps he spoiled him too much - someone had to. He was often ignored for the affections of his parents. “Gotta take a walk for it first, though, yeah? Ask your Da.”

Danny wasted no time tearing over the carpet, stumbling over his feet to find his father. “Da! Can I go outside with Uncle Maxim!” His father had just returned, tilting his head in confusion. “Leavin’ already, friend?” “Not quite, I’ll be back shortly - just a quick errand.” Jeramias nodded, placing a hand on his hip as he pat his son on the back. “Be good, Danny - I’m serious. Don’t cause any trouble.” “I won’t!”

When they had stepped outside, Maximiloix led Danny through the maze of trees called the Shroud. He had no particular location in mind, simple meandering with the boy who found him more a father than his own. “How’s everything going, kid? They bein’ nice to ya’?” “As much as they can be.” Danny huffed. “Don’t mind it none. ‘Least Tyaka’to ain’t hittin’ me no more, but when it comes to trainin’, he don’t take it lightly. ‘Spite bein’ much bigger ‘an me.” “If you want my opinion, you don’t seem the sword n’shield type.” “No?” “You’re quick on your feet, ever thought ‘bout fisticuffs?” “Nah, Da says it’s too dangerous t’not have a weapon.” “Well, your Da’s wrong. You’d think he’d know otherwise, being from the home of Monks. Speakin’ of. Just got back from there, Gyr Abania.” “What’s it like? I wanna see the world like you do!”

Maximiloix let out a laugh. “You will one day, guarantee.” He spoke of his trip through the Fringes, the Peaks, the Lochs - describing the land, the people, the culture, the history. He offered what wealth of knowledge he gathered on his foray. “What’d you bring this time!” “Got ya’ a couple things.”

It was tradition, he’d bring something back for Danny every so often - but never was it some traditional souvenir, one that’d never be used, or gathered dust. He’d bring parts of nature back. This time was no different. “Got several things for ya’, this time.” He stopped in a clearing, finding a good place to sit - where the boy joined him with a flop into the grass. “Salt rocks from the Lochs, got some for keepin’ and some for cookin’ if you want to give them to your Ma. Then we got branches of th’boughs from the Fringes. Looks like the leaves’re dyin’ already, though.” He passed over each item as he spoke.

Once the branches were passed to Danny’s hands, the leaves slowly regained their color - bark twisting with life. Maximiloix blinked, but said nothing of it. The boy acted as if it were a normal occurrence, and so he too would do so. “Got a couple snacks for ya’ too.” A bag of jerky and a jar of orange-colored juice were pulled from the man’s bag, to which he gladly shared with Danny. To which Danny gladly dug into without a second thought as to what it was. “Ahck! Spicy!” Maximiloix choked on a laugh, passing the drink over to soothe the pain. “Sorry, forgot ‘bout that. Take it slow, yeah?” Danny coughed from the unexpected spice, nodding. “Tastes good, though! S’from Da’s home?” “Aye, he wasn’t partial to it, but I found it good for long trips.” He inhaled sharply, laying back into the grass to stare at the leaves and branches above him. “What else’s goin’ on?” “Mm? Nothin’ much.” “Schooling goin’ well?” “Eh. Kids ain’t that nice. Keep gettin’ pushed around. Erm… now that I think ‘bout it… teachers ain’t that nice either. Say I’m too disruptive, even when I ain’t doin’ anything.” “Are you able to learn anything?” “Not much… only retain whatever y’come back with.” “Then maybe I should talk to your Da ‘bout letting y’come to Ishgard with me. Caro n’I’ve opened a school there - if you’re only retainin’ what I say!” He barked out a laugh. “...I think I’d like that.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”

--

Maximiloix let out a heavy sigh as he entered the apartment, only half expecting Danny to have been home. He ran his fingers through his hair when he realized that he was - lazing about on his couch with a book. “Seem stressed.” “Not any more than usual, I assure you.” “That right?” He shook his head, offering him a weak smile. “Regardless, I just returned from a meeting in Rhalgr’s Reach - picked up some things for you, that you might like.” Danny sat up, eyes bright for a moment - it was rare to see them like that again. “Yeah? What’d y’get?” “Salt rocks from the Lochs, and some jhammel jerky. Careful,” he remembered to warn him, this time, “it might be a fair bit spicy for your tastes.”

Danny tilted his head, brows furrowed in some recognition. “Huh… I think I’ve had those ‘fore. I think Da got them fer me when he was out one day.” The split second of realization - that he might have remembered - Maximiloix got his hopes up. Only to be squashed in an instant. “Aye… that sounds about right.”