#Danny nearly killed Bane

[mkarchin713]

Alfred and Danny have been old fashioned/ghost courting for decades.

Alfred will find little tokens of affection around the mansion and in turn Danny will find Alfred’s gifts outside his bedroom in the attic.

Their romance has not been spoken in words but in tiny moments and actions that convey their feelings.

Danny has adored Alfred since he first stepped foot in Wayne Manor and has been secretly adding drops of his ectoplasm into Alfred’s tea in order to ensure his beloved becomes a ghost when he dies.

Danny decided long ago to wait for Alfred to die before taking their courtship to the next level and Danny is in no hurry to rush the process.

Hence why he tore Bane limb from limb for trying to hasten his beloved into his arms. He doesn’t expect Alfred and him to take the next step until Alfred dies of old age and nothing else.

"Danny was born a Wayne" AU except he's Bruce's grand uncle. The result of a one time drunken affair, shortly before Kenneth Wayne's death, to a young unmarried woman who gave the baby up for adoption.

(Whether the Fenton's, and therefore Amity, were just ahead of their times or the DC timeline is shifted a bit so that DP happens in its cannon era is up to you. Dealers choice, though now that i know about her i just love badass widowed prohibition leader Laura Elizabeth Wayne)

Danny grows up knowing hes adopted and loved by the Fentons but something (dealer's choice) happens and he loses his family and friends (maybe the whole town goes too?). In an attempt to avoid a Dan situation he flees into the Infinite Realm and doesn't stop.

He just wanders, time passes in its weird Realms way, not that Danny truly notices. A protector spirit thats lossed everything it protected. Its a wonder he doesn't fade and he actually might've if it wasn't for his human side.

But its a tug at his core that brings him from his near catatonic wandering. Gone before he can even understand it but enough to shake him back to himself. Enough to know that hes nowhere near ready to go anywhere familiar so he continues on, his wandering no less pointless but at least he's aware again.

What feels like a relatively short time later he gets another tug, and this time he manages to follow it.

He follows it invisibly through a natural portal that drops him somewhere in New Jersey and all the way to a fancy hospital room in the gloomiest city he's ever seen.

In there he sees his half brother Patrick Wayne, though he wont figure out their connection for a few more years, holding little Agatha. She's adorable in her little dress and pigtails and her sweet face causes that familiar tug he recognizes from what must have been six years ago given the girls age.

Then a nurse comes in and hands a little bundle to what must be the mother (whos name i cant find) and Danny takes one look at the little core tugger who brought him here and just melts. Even without knowing yet that this is his last remaining family, his instincts latch on and he vows to protect and care for the Waynes.

And he does.

He finds his forgetful brother's documents and keeps Aggy company when everyone else is busy and soothes baby Thomas so his poor sister-in-law can get some more sleep. He ices fevers and bruised knees and helps on later games of hide and seek.

He very rarely becomes visible and only to the children. His grief over the Fenton's convinces him its better to protect his new family from the shadows.

Danny explores every inch of the manor, including secret passages and an underground cave system. He claims a forgotten room in the back of the attic as his own, which over the years fill up with knickknacks, heirlooms, and pictures of the family. Even a gift or two from Agatha, who hadn't stopped believing in their shadowy guardian like her brother did when Danny felt they were too old to see him without drawing suspicion.

The manor becomes his haunt and he always knows where each family member is within it. And when any guests have some no good intentions.

And when baby Bruce is born tugging at his core and with the bluest little eyes, he welcomes the fussy little thing. And makes sure dear Martha never knows just how fussy baby Bruce really is, otherwise she might've never had a full nights sleep.

Danny blames himself for not being there when Thomas and Martha die, and promises to never leave Bruces side, practically becoming the boy's living shadow. Watching over him as he gets older, secretly aiding him in his training. Danny feels a bit of pride when Bruce takes some inspiration from the old stories Thomas told him of the shadowy Wayne family protector when creating his Batman identity, glad his nephew still remembers him even if he hasn't shown himself since the now young man was six.

Danny continues to protect and care for the family in a variety of ways over the years even as the family grows.

Lightening Alfred's workload, softening Dick's falls, calming Jason's temper both pre and post pit, hiding Tim's coffee when the boy hasn't slept in far too long, providing plenty of shadows and hiding nooks for Cass, helping Damian hide the litter of kittens he found.

And no one seems to know he's there, except maybe Cass and he's pretty sure Alfred has been know since he first started working for the family. No one knows, that is, until Duke Thomas moves in and lookes right at him watching invisibly from the sidelines.

(@omnicrafts @dcxdpdabbles @hdgnj @ailithnight @nelkcats i dont know, the main point of all this is that Danny's been protecting the Wayne family for decades and no one, except maybe Alfred, knew until Duke moved in)

[hypewinter]

HC/AU Prompt Thingy (7 I think?)

1). Ghost Batman

2). Halfa Jason

3). Ghost Joker

Considering the amount of times Batman has died (or come close to death) and the amount of things Joker has somehow survived, I'd believe it.

Let's say, Joker died many years ago, the day he first fell into the vat of acid. Too bad the clown had enough strong emotions to come back. And let's be honest, Batman also died a long time ago. Probably when Bane broke his back. At this point, he is purely living off of spite and vengeance.

With that out of the way, do you guys remember that one idea where while Jason's dead, he spends his time in the zone and becomes friends with Danny? Only for his to mysteriously disappear because he got resurrected? That's what I'm going with here.

Danny found Jason aimlessly floating and quickly took him under his wing. It only took a short time for the two to become inseparable. Which is why Danny is crushed when Jason up and vanishes. No one saw where he went. No one saw what happened to him. His disappearance was so sudden and so mysterious that Danny almost wanted to believe his best friend had his final death. But things just didn't add up. So he went searching.

Meanwhile, our ghosty boy has now become only a half ghosty boy due to his unique resurrection. Unfortunately for Jason though, halfas still need ectoplasm too and he is not getting nearly enough of it, leading to him being quite angry and destructive.

Oh! You what would be interesting? If instead of wanting Bruce to kill Joker to avenge him, Jason just goes for the kill himself. Except for Joker won't die. No matter what he does to him. Because of the whole already a ghost thing. But that doesn't stop Jason from trying. Nor does it stop Bruce from trying to talk him down.

So now there's this three-way stand off going on. It is at this point in time that Danny comes through a portal determined to find Jason. But that's not all! Because by time Danny has finally managed to track his bestest buddy down, he may or may not have acquired the title of Prince of the Infinite Realms. Which may or may not give him power over all dead and never living. Which includes Joker and Batman. Which makes it extra funny when said three-way stand off comes to an end by Phantom appearing and ordering two of the three to kneel.

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: Stuff about Alfred Pennyworth

Just some facts about our favorite butler, Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth.

-His full name is Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth

-He’s not as old as you probably think. He’s only 20 years older than Bruce, which would make him early 60′s at most currently. He was in his mid 40′s when batman started.

-He owns a shotgun. While Bruce doesn't like guns, Alfred doesn’t have such convictions, and is entirely ready to use it. 

-Former member of MI-5. Essentially, he was special ops, has serious military training and was part of the British counterintelligence agency that combats terrorism and espionage aka he was one of the guys that stopped spies. Some continuities had it where he was MI-6 instead.

-Has killed before. Special ops, remember?

-Former actor. He had a bit of an acting career after he left MI-5. This lasted until his father, Jarvis Pennyworth, requested he serve the Wayne family on his deathbed.

-He has a daughter, Julia Pennyworth, an agent of the Special Reconnaissance Regiment. She briefly took over his duties helping the Batclan, It was a whole thing involving her not respecting him because he went from MI-5 to working as a butler for Bruce Wayne before an Identity reveal. 

- He is also highly respected by those heroes who are aware of his existence, including Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and the original Teen Titans.

-Was romantically involved with Dr. Leslie Thompkins. Not much came from that aside from a few dates, but they dated.

-Proficient in emergency medical techniques, acting, mechanical and computer sciences, on top of being one hell of a butler

- While not as skilled at hand-to-hand combat as Bruce Wayne, Alfred is nearly as resourceful. Batman: Gotham Adventures 16 has him kidnapped, only to readily escape and overcome his captors without even mussing his suit. It is later mentioned that he has overcome 27 kidnapping attempts.

-Reads the Artimis Fowl novels

So yeah, Alfred is the best, he’s a hell of an actor, a resourceful former secret agent that has dated Dr. Thompkins and has a secret agent child with an unnamed woman

Why am I tagging this DP x DC? Simply fertilizing the soil. Not everyone is as familiar with the character, especially with how confusing continuity is. Me rambling on is simply an effort to both educate, and give creators in this crossover more things to work with. Maybe it inspires someone, maybe they use this information just to add a little something. Maybe they think, “huh, that’s interesting” and never have to use it

Also I’m just glad we collectively ignore the fact Alfred is dead in current continuity. If you didn’t know, Alfred is dead after Bane snapped his neck and killed off one of the best characters. So I guess we could tie it in with Danny meeting him as a ghost,

 Alfred haunting wayne manor just to get Bruce to take care of himself 

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Mickey’s Magical Christmas: Snowed In At the House of Mouse: A Rope of Sand Review (Patreon Review WeirdKev27)

Ho ho ho all you holly jolly people! We’ve come to the end of my christmas reviews for the year (i’m saving Danny Phantom for next year, don’t you worry), as I take time to spend with my love ones, relax, and bask in the warm glow of christmas. 

So with that it’s approriate to cap it off witht he final of the trilogy of house of mouse christmas specials: the DTV movie snowed in at the house of mouse. Like the last one it reuses wraparound material, shorts and what have you.  But also like the last one it has more theatrical shorts, and unlike that one the wraparound is actually charming this time instead of a waste of a REALLY great premise. SO a nice little bit of christmas. 

As with the last complation film, due to doing the other house of mouse christmas episode i’ve also done 2 1/2 of the shorts contained within. So like last time I did this with House of Villians i’ll be copy and pasting my reviews of those segments into this one, except for the christmas light fight as only a part of that segement made it over and frankly, most of it was spent on something they threw out, this monstrosity

 That way if your just coming in for snowed in at the house of mouse you don’t have to redo those segments. It’s also.. weird being this close to done with House of Mouse. As I said last time i’m not going away from it entirely, i’ll return for the right episode.. but it’s going to be weird NOT having this show on my monthly schedule. It won’t be quite the same when I go back so i’m going out on a high next time. As for this time see what I thought of this movie, it’s shorts, and it’s holiday cheer under the cut. 

Going segements first again since the wraparound ties things off more climactically again. Let’s a go.

Donald On Ice:

This one is pretty good but hampered by the ending. The boys build a snowman for a contest while donald skates with himself baby, and slides his way on over into some shenanigans. Again it works fine: the slapstick is pitch perfect, with mouseworks having really gotten what makes Donald work a lot of the time, and it goes a bit nuts in the best way possible as Donald gets chased by a mutant killer snow goon at one point.

Yup. No explination just a murder snowman. The boys snowman gets ruined in the process of the chase and.. donald gets chased off into the sunset.. because a snowman tried to kill him because he.. wanted to skate peacefully on his own? Yeah the ending sours what could’ve been a true classic, and thus weakens the whole short. Still might be worth a look just be wary of that.

Pluto’s Christmas Tree

One of only two shorts here that wasn’t recycled.. and it’s Chip N Dale.. and Pluto. Again

It’s what you��d expect from the title: Mickey finds a tree to chop down, dosen’t realize the two banes of my existance when their not two gumshoes who have our backs in it and they procede to torment pluto a bit who Mickey dosen’t seem to get has a reason for acting up. It’s still BETTER than a lot of these as Mickey dosen’t tourture the poor dog and Chip N Dale have a reasonable catalyst for their bullshit. Mickey chopped down their home and took it in his home. They just want revenge and to not get set on fire... oh yeah Mickey nearly sets Chip on fire because he imitated a santa candle. Or was it dale. Point is Mickey nearly set another rodent ablaze and angered his mousey god that’s the take away here. 

It’s.. fine. Obviously the fact I typed that like a man who just had his toe stepped on by an innocent child means i’m not the target audience for this short but it’s decent enough and Mickey sparing the two rodents because it’s christmas, while being saranaded by his friends doing carols is really sweet. TLDR, not for me, but not bad. And for a Chip N Dale short that’s the highest praise I can give it.  ood lord the one upside of not doing this is never having ot see those assholes outside of a trench coat or hawiaan shirt again unless I WANT TO. Hallejuah and holy shit where’s the tyllenol. 

The Nutcracker:

This is another one of those big, beautiful two part shorts they did, the kind that really stuck with me all these years. This is easily the best of the two parters i’ve rewatched and were it not for the two part Blot short, which we’ll get to soon enough.

It follows the basic plot of the nutcracker well enough: A vaugely aged girl is given a nutcracker by her eccentric uncle, said girl shrinks down, dances and romances with the nutcracker. Then she gets kidnapped by the rat king who wants to make her his bride because that’s all villians could think of back then, the nutcracker breaks his testicles with a silver baseball bat, everyone’s happy and then you loose 20 minutes of your life watching the dance of the sugarplum faries. And that’s without having seen the play in 20 years, it’s homaged and redone like this that much.

This short has fun with that by using the narrator, who interacts with the cast. THe best of this is at the start when Ludvig, playing the uncle (Minnie is naturally the girl, Mickey the nutcracker and Donald the rat king), gets increasingly pissed off at the narrator not letting him speak and narrating over all his lines. Ludvig is always a delight but here he’ sin top form with just the best expressions. Eventaully the narrator gets fed up with this and LITERALLY throws him out of the story uncle phil style. IT’s great stuff.

Donald meanwhile grumbles about his roll and only agrees when the narrator lies and says he’ll win in the end which only works due to Donald’s war on literacy.

Finally we have Goofy showing up and the narrator refusing to get in the middle of his whose on first shenanigans, and goofy simply putting a hat on to signify he’s the snow fairy. It’s truly fantastic and the ending, with Ludvig becoming the sugarplum fairy, is great and lampshades how utterly pointless that segment is. A true christmastime classic. Check it out.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol And now for the real meat of this movie. Clocking in at 28 minutes, this is the longest work featured on House of Mouse, with the HOM cut chopping it down only slightly. But frankly it’s the perfect showstopper to this movie, and i’m glad I finally saw it as this special, i’ts more of a special than a short really, is a true christmas feast.

Like some other shorts we’ve covered, this takes Mickey and Co and transplants them into classic literature. And given this came LONG before Mouseworks and this very show, I feel those shorts later on wouldn’t of existed without this for good reason. Out of them this is the best, a nicely crafted, short and sweet take on Dicken’s well worn tale. 

Like the other looks at classic literature, the beats are the same: Ebeneezer Scrooge, played here by Scrooge McDuck .of course, in Alan Young’s first time in his long career voicing scooge, is a wealthy old bastard who mistreats his only employee Bob Cratchet (Mickey Mouse), his nephew Fred (Donald Duck of course), and some guys coming to collect for the poor (Ratty and Moley from Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride), all while reveling in his greed. He’s then visited that night by the Ghost of his Partner, Jacob Marley (Goofy) who warns him of the grisly fate his past leaves him on bound by the chains of his sins and tells him three ghosts will be here to set him straight: The Ghost of Christmas Past, who shows Scrooge his past as he was a kind young man with a loving girlfriend and a nice boss who gave up love for greed, the ghost of christmas present (The Giant from Mickey’s take on Jack and the Bean Stalk) where he sees Bob Cratchet barely strugglyg to feed his family and support his sickly son tiny tim, and Future (played by pete ) where Tiny Tim and Scrooge is dead, the latter unloved. Scrooge turns things around, donates a bunch to the poor, offers to go to freds and makes Cratchet partner. It’s a story we all know and love evne if it’s been told so. many. times. 

So rather than go blow by blow, i’d rather go into why this special is so amazing.  For starters we have the main reason: Alan Young as Scrooge. This is his first time playing the character in an actual story (having done some records before this), and he nails it, steps into the roll like he was born for it and let’s be real, he totally was. Scrooge’s greed, selfishness and arrogance are all well on display, as is his vunerabliity as the ghosts strip away his ego and reveal the consequences of his actions. He truly and perfectly merges Ebeneezer Scrooge with Scrooge McDuck, a feat that isn’t easy to the point Muppets had a human just play the role outright instead of try to make one of their own step into it. Here though Scrooge, and not just ofr the name, is perfect for the role and is damn hilarous too, from the simletaniously heartbreaking scene where he fines his fiance for their honemoon cottage, to him shoing out the charity guys by using some roundabout logic to say they’d be out of work, to finally on christmas day saying he can’t go out like this (with his coat over his jam Jams).. and then simply grabbing his cane and deciding he can now. This is one of Young’s best performances at the character and steals the show. 

The rest though just works: each character is well represented but also has bits of their disney selves: Fred gets angry at one point (while still being mostly joyful) since he is donald, and Goofy gets some wonderfully awesome slapstick as ebineezer, while Pete has his signature sneer yet is somehow just as terrifying as the ghost of christmas future should be. It makes this feel wholly i’ts own depsite again the story having been told 80 dozen times before and after this. I also like all the clever animated canon character uses: Jiminy cricket as christmas past, the giant as christmas present, mr toad as fezziwig. It’s all inspired and wonderful stuff. 

Finally we have the animation: it’s beautiful even decades later, to the point I watched the Disney+ cut of this rather than house of mouse to get it in the best quality, and it was worth it. Gorgeous crisp and expressive animation. 

All in all easily one of disney’s standout works with the classic crew, and a holiday classic i’ll be revisiting every year after this. Truly a miracle. 

Snowed in At the House of Mouse:

Finally we have this wraparound and while like last time it reuses some bits (the what i’m thankful for bits from the thanksgiving ep and Ludvig’s display of how santa gets around which I feel I neglected to ention so I am now: it’s a fun one where Ludvig clones himself, steals his mom’s cookies and in general is just nice to watch) it has a more solid throughline and story, opting to go simplier. Given House of Villians wasted a far more ambitious premise this was the right call. 

This time around Mickey is finishing up his christmas show for the year, only to find out their snowed in. So Mickey decides to double down, and have a big christmas party with everyone to make their spirits bright.  Donald naturally is a humbug about everything, so Mickey makes it his goal to cheer his friend up with some shorts and cheer. It’s a nice, wonderful idea that uses both well.  The scene where Mickey, seeingly defeated talks to jiminy, realizing both the true meaning of christmas (making others feel good) and wishing for a way to make everyone feel it, thus getting a christmas star is great as is the ending: Mickey gives Donald the star, which geninely warms him with the gesture, to put on top of the tree, finally winning him over in time for christmas carol. 

Then.. it all ends in a way that melts my heart. All the disney cast get together.. and sing a warm and lovely christmas song. Seeing all these characters, including Belle and Aerial in solos of all characters, such a lovely little bit, and by their va’s too if i’m not mistaken, come together, good or bad to share in christmas and the warm glow.. it just warms my heart so hot it’s now replaced the sun. It’s a truly touching and joyous way to end this film. 

As you can probably tell.. I think this movie is great. LIke House of Villians it packs the best themed shorts in with a few nice bonuses, capping it off in one of Disney’s finest works. They even have a nice original bit of the man on the street segment from the other christmas special I loved and no mortimer sexual harassment! Huzzah! It’s a truly nice, breezy little film, full of great shorts, cheers and a wonderful lesson and song to play us out. Check this one out if you can, still not on Disney+ still have a grudge about that. 

I got one more bit of house of mouse to get to but for now.. i’m going to enjoy this christmas eve, enjoy my family, and my own warmth of cheer. And i’d like to thank kev for getting me to watch this wondreful film. I hope you have a merry christmas bud, as do all of you. Whatever you celebrate, I hope it’s making your spirit bright. Thanks for reading, I Love you all. 

[ghostgothgeek]

Blush. Chapter 5

Chapter written by @ecto-american!

Disclaimer: actual sex ed talk

FFN || AO3

---

God it felt like forever until he was finally leaving the bathroom again, even though the clock on the wall said it had only been about five minutes. He waited for Sam to leave and for his personal issues to figure themselves out before he swung the bathroom door open. Thankfully, nobody was there, and he sighed heavily. He was  not  looking forward to returning to the class. Maybe he should just skip.

Ugh, and risk having to do a one on one private sex education lesson with Mr. Lancer? No thanks. He’d rather get the talk from the Box Ghost. 

He dragged his feet towards the classroom. Elliot was obviously back in the class by now, probably already telling everybody what had just happened. Which was nothing, but once he spread the news to Paulina, that was all she wrote. Paulina could spread gossip so fast that it was honestly impressive. Almost a superpower. 

Danny stood in the doorframe of the class before immediately turning to leave. Fuck this.

“Hey!” Mike’s voice called out accusingly. “Come on. Can’t skip out.” God, why couldn’t the accident have fully killed him? Ghosts didn’t have to go to school. Or suffer through having to listen to the sex talk. 

Taking a deep breath, he turned to see the bane of his existence. Elliot, grinning like the cat that ate the canary, was sitting in the previously unoccupied seat that was to Danny’s left. That absolute fucker changed seats  again , and Danny avoided eye contact as he returned to his chair. Elliot watched him like a hawk. 

No sooner than he planted himself, Elliot scooted his chair closer to him. Danny refused to look at him. The other leaned into him.

“Couldn’t wait, aye?” he whispered, not even bothering to hold back a snicker. 

Danny’s eyes flickered to the front. Mike’s attention was on a student who had asked a question. He took the chance to punch Elliot in the shoulder. Hard. The exchange student’s seat jerked back a bit, and he winced as he rubbed his shoulder. Danny hoped it would bruise. Tucker nudged Danny, giving him a weird look. Danny shook his head, and he rubbed his face with his hands tiredly. He knew his face was bright red. 

“You know, girls with more experience tend to give you a better time,” Elliot’s voice refused to shut the fuck up. “So uh, ya know. You’re welcome.”

“For what?” Danny scowled. 

“Dude, Sam and I have done stuff. We’d go to her house and such, I’ve been to third base like, at least four times.”

Danny felt his hands shake with rage. God damn it, god  fucking damn it.  He knew that wasn’t true. He was there on every date, from beginning to end because he specifically didn’t trust him. And even when he stopped, Tucker was there. Nothing happened. He knew it. But how do you call a guy out like that? How do you prove that you know he’s full of shit?

“You’re full of shit,” was all Danny could find himself able to say. “And just shut the hell up about Sam already. You guys broke up. It’s over. Done. Let it go.”

Elliot gave a small hum.

“Eh, I dunno. I thought about asking her out again,” Elliot said slyly. 

Danny took a deep breath. He refused to fall into this guy’s petty crap. No, no, he wasn’t, he was just trying to test his patience.  He’s just trying to get a reaction out of you, Fenton. Don’t give him one. 

He made a point of ignoring Elliot, instead opening the Planned Parenthood booklet to the section related to Mike’s lecture. He zoned out though. None of this mattered, he wasn’t an idiot. Condoms and consent, basic stuff. Not like he planned on going out and getting wild. 

Well of course, there were some girls he wouldn’t mind getting wild with. Paulina instantly came to mind. She had an excellent body. One he had seen in a swimsuit before. And of course, it’s not like he didn’t think about it with Valerie when they were together. He liked her a lot. Plus Sam. Sam had such a nice gentle touch. And soft lips and hands. Why did he never realize that?

Danny spaced out, staring ahead at the front of the class. He wished Sam was here, next to him instead of fucking Elliot. By now, she’d likely have leaned into him, bored to tears herself. Sometimes she cuddled up into him if it was cold. It wasn’t now, but it wouldn’t be the first time he purposefully made the classroom a bit chilly for that very reason. Her hugs were always just comforting and calming. 

“Dude, taste this,” Tucker’s voice broke him from his thoughts. Danny glanced to see his friend. He had opened another condom packet, and he was holding it up to Danny. 

“...What?” 

“Dude, it tastes really good,” Tucker insisted. “It tastes just like mint.”

“I’m not licking any condoms that you’ve already been licking,” Danny scowled. 

“Just open yours and taste it,” Tucker encouraged. Danny sighed, giving a light shrug. Well, anything to pass the time. 

He opened the condom packet. It was greasy and felt gross, and he hesitantly pressed his tongue against it. Surprisingly, Tucker was right. Not too bad.

“Huh, that does taste like mint,” he hummed in surprise. 

He put the entire, still rolled condom in his mouth. He sucked on it for a bit before spitting it back out into his hand. Danny studied Mike until Mike turned his back and Lancer was still distracted before slapping it on Elliot’s cheek. The wet condom stuck there for a second before falling to the floor. Elliot immediately turned to glare at him. He glanced to make sure the teachers were still distracted before returning the punch from earlier, hitting Danny in the upper arm. 

Danny flinched. It definitely didn’t hurt nearly as much as a ghost, but it still ached for a moment. He refused to rub his shoulder to comfort himself. This was apparently a bad move. Elliot glared at him until the next available opportunity, and he hit him again. Danny let out an irritated groan from clenched teeth. That one hurt a bit more.

“Cut it out before I kick you so hard you can be assured that you’ll never have a kid,” Danny threatened. 

“Bold of you to even assume I want children, Fenton,” Elliot replied in a hushed tone. “The best birth control is having a one year old nephew that screams all the time and constantly shits himself out of excitement whenever he hears the ice cream truck. No fucking thanks. From the looks of things, you’re the one that needs to be neutered. I can gladly help.”

Elliot shifted a bit away from him, only to raise his foot to attempt to kick him. Obviously, he only hit Danny’s side. The halfa grabbed Elliot’s foot, yanking him hard. He fell out of the seat with a surprised yelp. 

“You guys okay?” Mike’s voice called out. Upon hearing the noises, Mr. Lancer had snapped to his feet.

“You two better not be messing around,” Mr. Lancer’s voice instantly caused a wave of complete silence to fall upon the classroom. “This is an important lesson you will carry for the rest of your lives. I expect you to pay attention, or else I will assign homework or give a pop quiz on this.”

Elliot put his elbow up on the table, pulling himself up and back onto his seat. 

“I’m fine, just tilted my chair back too much,” he lied. He flashed Lancer a fake smile. The teacher didn’t look amused.

“Watch yourself, Mr. Gregor,” he warned before sitting back down. 

Mike gave a friendly smile at the class before continuing his conversation. Danny sat up a bit straighter. Of all the days to get detention, this was not the day he wanted to have to deal with that. Sure, he wasn’t on the radar now, but it wouldn’t be long. 

He felt Elliot nudge him, and he pointedly ignored it. He focused on Mike, who was answering Kwan’s inquiry about a male birth control pill. Elliot poked him. Danny did nothing.

“Hey, you mad just because I know that Sam wears pink panties?” Elliot whispered. That was enough to instantly boil his blood.

“You don’t know shit,” Danny hissed at him. 

“Oh I know all about how Sam secretly has bright pink panties,” Elliot taunted. Danny rolled his eyes. He had done Sam’s laundry before. He’s done her emergency overnight packing. They’ve gotten a bit heavy during makeouts twice. She’s stayed over for sleepovers since they were like twelve. And even if none of that happened, he doubted Sam would secretly wear pink. She didn’t care what others thought, if she wanted to wear pink, she’d just openly wear pink.

“You’re so full of crap,” Danny scowled. “They’re almost all black or purple. At least one’s dark gray with black bats all over them. You really think Sam would wear pink like, ever? Dumbass.”

Elliot stared at him, mouth slightly open. Tucker was staring at him too, with wide eyes. Danny didn’t really notice them, focusing his attention once more on Mike. He had, at some point, began writing a list of pros and cons up on the board of various birth control methods. Danny studied it for a moment. Mike glanced at the clock. He patted the box set before him on the table.

“Okay, so we’re approaching lunch, so I’m going to take a pause right now to just say that this box has some condoms, sample-size lube bottles, and some short books about gender identity that you can take as you wish,” Mike explained, holding up the items as he spoke. “There’s just some fun stickers too, and we also have a card that has the number of a therapist office we partner with. We’ll be leaving the door unlocked, so you can come in and grab it discreetly during lunch if you don’t want to in the rush to leave. I won’t be in here, I’ll actually be with Mallory in Room 105, which I understand is the uh.” Mike paused. “Room just down the hall?” The class nodded at him. “Cool. So we’ll be there if you want to ask more personal questions.”

The bell finally rang, and Danny sighed in relief. Elliot was already out of his seat, mumbling something about needing to update Paulina asap on something, out the door before Mike could even continue.

“Alrighty folks, if you wanna take some bananas with you as part of lunch too, feel free!” Mike shot a teasing smile at Danny, and the teen sunk in his seat before quickly getting to his feet and making a fast-walk for the door. “We won’t be needing them later on, so take as many as you like. And of course, feel free to take whatever you want from the box.”

As he passed by, Danny glanced into the box, a blurred colorful assortment of condoms, stickers and the sample lube bottles. He refused to stop and take one, unlike a few brave souls behind him, including Tucker for some reason, who stopped to grab anywhere from one, to a handful. Or in Tucker’s case,  two  handfuls? What? Tucker wasn’t even dating anybody right now.

He quickly turned the corner out of the classroom, and a quick glance around, he noticed he was alone. He turned invisible, and he walked back in, intangibly going through his classmates to peak into the box. Danny paused before looking around as the contents were shifted as classmates hunted for what they wanted, and finally, he grabbed two purple colored condoms, Sam’s secret favorite color. She liked to act like it was black, but he knew deep down that it was purple. He walked out, seeing the hallway become crowded, though everybody seemed wrapped up in their own business. The normal.

The halfa slipped into a janitor’s closet, turning visible. He quickly left and shut the door behind him, walking until he spied his friend. Tucker was crouched on the floor next to the lockers near the classroom they had just exited, trying to carefully put his new condom collection into his open backpack without spilling them all over the floor.

“Do you really need that many?” Danny wondered. Tucker grinned. 

“Better safe than sorry!” he told him.

“What about when you get all your tech back, it’s not gonna all fit,” Danny pointed out. Tucker gave Danny an intense, serious look. 

“I’ll find a way,” he assured him before returning to his task. He was picking up fallen condoms to stuff into his bag. 

Danny chuckled. He glanced up and into the classroom, unintentionally locking eyes with Elliot. The other was talking with Mike. About what, Danny couldn’t tell, but Elliot had immediately shot him a light smirk. Danny scowled back, crossing his arms.

“Come on, Tuck, I’m starving, and I’m not really interested in having a condom for lunch,” Danny spoke up.  And I miss Sam.  He turned to begin walking, hearing Tucker scrambling to zip his backpack newly full of condoms and rush after him.

“So uh...do you wanna talk about how come you know what kind of underwear Sam wears?” Tucker questioned. Danny stared blankly at him before he flushed, scowling. 

“Tucker, you’ve seen her underwear. You did her laundry and helped me pack her stuff before.” 

Tucker blinked, thinking on this answer for a moment. Danny stood on his tiptoes, looking for a sign of Sam coming from the other classroom. None. She was probably at her locker, and he began to walk towards it, Tucker following.

“...Yeah but I’ve never like...kept track of the colors,” Tucker said slowly. Danny could feel his cheeks turning a bit redder, but he refused to reply. “Sooo...wanna expand a little on those three makeout times that I apparently didn’t know about?”

“No,” Danny said shortly before finally spotting Sam. He sighed happily, taking a few eager steps towards her.

[mercurygray]

I know I already did one today but I want to meet Harry and Kitty's kid.

I GET TO WRITE A WELSH. How much do I love this family, honestly.

Name: Daniel John Welsh Gender: male General Appearance: Like his mother, a blond in curls. Oh, you have never seen such curls. Women would kill for hair like this, either because they want it or they want to run their fingers through it. (He also has his father's sparkling blue eyes, though, sadly, also his father's height. Danny will be lucky if he cracks five seven. )

Personality: This kid came into the world at a mile a minute and damned if anyone's ever going to slow him down. Born nearly exactly nine months after his parents got married, Danny is Harry's son to his bones. If someone's going to make a joke, Danny's going to be the one to make it. Boisterous, mischievous, and with a huge heart, everyone loves this kid. (He's the bane of his mother's existence and the reason they nearly buy stock in a soap company, but what can you do? Kids are washable.) And he is the older brother par excellence.  The guy taking big tall shy Jack Winters around the party and making sure he feels at home? Danny.

Special Talents: It goes without saying that Danny was the recipient of much of his father's early attempts at little league coaching. Football? Done it. Baseball? Absolutely. The one that sticks, unsurprisingly, is one Dad never helped him with: wrestling. (Uncle Dick is secretly delighted.)

Who they like better: Danny wouldn't like anyone to know this, but it's a really special treat when he gets to wake up early and have a cup of coffee with Mom before biking off to practice. He admires his mom's quiet ability to put up with everything - especially him and his dad.

Who they take after more: Harry. No question.

Personal Head canon: Danny Welsh is 100% the guy trying to start something with Ellie Speirs at that reunion. (He knows it's not going to work, but a guy can dream, right?)

Face Claim: Jeremy Shada? (I know no curls, but the face just seems right.)

[trashyslashers]

Literally anything you want to write, involving Danny Johnson, I love how you write him!!!!!

Here you go!!! It was fun writing for Danny in a way that wasn’t him just tormenting tf out of reader.

———————————————————————————————————–

Click 

The sudden, soft sound from somewhere behind you caught your attention almost immediately, and instantaneously set you on edge. You were the only Survivor currently at the campfire as most others were in trials; the handful of those that weren’t were trying to steal some rare time for themselves by meandering through the surrounding woods, leaving you completely alone and isolated. 

It was incredibly rare for a Survivor to have the campfire all to themselves, and it was a constant toss up of how the time alone would be: either peaceful, considering that they didn’t have to deal with the arguments or sour moods that some of the others brought to the table, or absolutely nerve wracking as you had no one there to watch your back. An alone Survivor was not only a very uncommon occurrence, but also an incredibly dangerous one seeing how their solitude made them much more vulnerable to the leering eyes of any passing Killers, something you always feared whenever you found yourself alone for more than a minute.

You felt that that exact fear was becoming reality as the feeling of eyes boring into the back of your head became increasingly apparent as you sat, frozen on one of the many logs surrounding the campfire as you kept yourself focused on any distant sound your ears could pick up. 

It’s just your imagination, you told yourself. You aren’t used to the complete silence - your brain is making you hear stuff that isn’t there. Surely, you were just creeping yourself out - working yourself up over nothing as you were so unused to the silence and solitude. 

At least, that’s what you tried to convince yourself of.

Click

Click, click 

Again, this time from more to the left than last time. What was that? It was a vaguely familiar sound; one that you know you’ve heard before but were struggling to determine where exactly from. That by itself creeped you out, but not nearly as much as knowing that you - probably - weren’t alone out there anymore. 

Who could it be?“Jake? - Meg?” You called out tentatively, straining your ears to pick up on any sort of responding sound. Those two usually spent a fair amount of time out in the woods, right? Jake was a pretty solitary guy and admitted that he felt more at home in the woods than anywhere else, and Meg often went for runs to pass time. It had to be one of them.

No answer. Only another soft click, almost directly to your left now.

Your head snapped to the side, your eyes scanning along the dark wood line for any indicator of who else was out there. Despite not seeing anyone or anything, your anxiety didn’t relent in the slightest and you prepared yourself to run as it was starting to feel like you were in some sort of danger. A fair amount of Killers were able to sneak around undetected - the Wraith being the first one to come to mind, whose ability to cloak himself was often the bane of your existence. He was rarely seen outside of trials though, right? There’s no way it was him - he was probably the most solitary of all the Killers. The Pig? No - she wasn’t the type to really stalk Survivors outside of trials. Myers. Your heart froze in your chest once that thought crossed your mind. It has to be Myers.

A quick blur of white passed your peripheral vision, and right away you realized who it was. 

No, they were shorter than Myers. 

“Danny, you’re an asshole, you know that right?” 

Of course he knew it, and it wasn’t like he’d give a shit that you thought he was an asshole - he was well aware of the fact and had no intention of changing it. 

That’s also part of why you loved him. 

“Did you get any good ones?” You asked, the slight hint of a laugh on your voice though you were hardly amused. Danny’s pulled this kind of nonsense several times before, but you’ve yet to get used to it. He always managed to make it much more ominous than it needed to be by creeping around the foliage - he’s admitted in the past that you were his favorite out of all the Survivors to go after and scare, especially since you two became involved with each other.

Danny was a collector; everyone knew that by now, and his favorite thing to collect were photos of both dead victims and soon-to-be victims alike - with you being his favorite subject. He’d shown you his growing assortment of photos he’d taken of you, Polaroids upon Polaroids of you in various situations and scenes, and he seemed especially proud of the ones that were taken without your knowledge. At first you absolutely hated it, but you grew fonder of it as time went on.

It was endearing in a weird, creepy way. 

You stood up from your seat, making your way towards the treeline to meet him as he slunk out from the cover that the trees provided. His steps were much quicker than yours were, and once within arms reach you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching up and draping your arms around his neck and shoulders as best you could. 

“You never answered me, you know.” You said teasingly, your voice low as you tugged his mask up so you could see his face and press a kiss to his chapped lips. You briefly worried that one of the other Survivors would show up and see the two of you like you were - but it didn’t really matter if they did, did it? Sure, Survivor and Killer relationships were….. taboo, to say the least, but it’s not like they weren’t allowed. A handful of the others knew about your involvement with Danny and while they weren’t exactly too thrilled with it, they didn’t treat you any differently or scorn you for it. 

Your attention was brought down to Danny’s hands as he fiddled with his camera, watching as he clicked through about five recently taken photos of you. Most were from a distance and hard to make out, but one was a close up of you sitting, with your front turned towards the camera and your eyes wide, probably taken when you were looking out into the woods to try and see who was out there. The glow from the fire illuminated your skin warmly, and something about the juxtaposition of the darkness behind you with the brightness of the fire made the photo incredibly alluring. 

You looked nice, if you were being honest. 

“I think that one’s probably my favorite, out of every single one you’ve ever taken of me..” You laughed quietly, your arms still resting over his shoulders as he nodded in agreement. His reluctance to talk was unusual seeing as how usually it was the exact opposite and he’d refuse to shut up, but you didn’t want to pry and hurt his pride by asking what was wrong.

You had a feeling, though. In rare, tender moments with him in the past he’d admitted that he, to a degree, missed Roseville, that he missed his old life. Of course, he came to the Fog willingly and enjoyed the killing that the Entity let him do, but he absolutely hated playing by its rules and missed being able to just… run amok and go about his business as he pleased. You assumed that creeping on you and the occasional other Survivor outside of trials was his own way of reliving his old life, and you had no intent of interfering with that.

[seven-oomen]

First, I hope you’re enjoying your game.  One of my friends posted about how she’d just gotten her copy of it, and her husband’s response was basically “so, I’ll just bring you food occasionally and see you in a few days?"  Also, I hope you’re feeling better.  And man you are KILLING ME with these previews.  Oh god, Peter, what are you planning now?  How bad is this gonna hurt and for how long?  (Don’t answer that, I’m afraid to know. XD )

I think all those Hogwarts Houses are excellent choices.  I always think it’s fun to see how people sort various characters, because I rarely have any that I feel are firmly one House (maybe it’s because I’m a proud HuffleClaw, myself, doomed to waffle between Houses every time I take a quiz or read an analysis on the subject.)  Side not - can you imagine the furor that would have occurred about a Slytherin and a Gryffindor hooking up in Fourth Year (I think?), and then pulling an innocent little Hufflepuff transfer under their spell?  Would any of them have played Quidditch?  (Peter I feel definitely played, though I can’t decide what position.  Undecided on the other two.)

Poor Peter, having to behave himself.  Although debatably as long as he kept the fangs put away it wouldn’t necessarily be a risk, though I can see him being worried anyway.  That’s why he needs to find someone to spin his fur into yarn he can then make them scarves/gloves/sweaters/etc with.  And why he’s so into the clothes sharing.  Anything to get his scent on them as thoroughly as possible.

And I am so here for PTA Dad Peter.  Helping out at school functions so he can keep an eye on the younger kids.  Building new, supportive relationships with his older kids, helping them with college applications and essays, making up lists of stuff they’ll need for dorm rooms, finding apartments if any are going to the same or nearby schools and can share, making sure they all have pictures and mementos to help combat homesickness.  And now I’m thinking about the memory quilt again.  Goddammit I don’t want to make myself cry.  Again.  "Imagine Peter hearing their heartbeats for the first time."  Oh nevermind, I see you’ll do it for me.  Ugh, my feels.  Peter shifting to his wolf form and curling protectively around them all the time, head pressed up to their abdomen so that he can listen and scent at maximum effectiveness.  Them just gently stroking through his fur until one or both fall asleep.  (Also, how quickly do the other wolves in the family pick up on the changes in scent?  How do they react?  How do the older kids react to the idea of more siblings in general?)

And you know that whichever one wasn’t the one pregnant at the time would be super protective at the time, then turn around and insist they were fine and that the others were worrying unnecessarily when they were the one pregnant.  (Also, glad your brother was okay!)  I also like that it apparently took them nearly 20 years to learn about planning for this sort of thing.  I know you’ve mentioned Peter and Chris being the ones that do the stupid thing next chapter (or something to that effect), but really I feel the biggest moment of "what the hell, guys?” is Noah getting knocked up just two months after Chris.  It’s like, you guys had a huge, in your face, live example of why protection is important, and yet…  I’m also just going to assume that they have at least a king size bed to accommodate that many people, even if many of them are tiny people, and none of them mind piling.  That’s still a lot of bodies cramming into one bed.  (That much room would also come in very handy for…other reasons, which is why I feel certain Peter would insist upon it.) 

Also, omg, I was not expecting to be attacked by those pictures like that.  Tag your porn, dude XD .  But really, can you imagine the poor, unsuspecting college friends their kids bring home for visits getting a triple barrel of that with no warning?  Like they’ve just seen the goofy, weird pics that they have on their phone/on their walls.  They were not prepared for the sheer DILF power of that household live and in person.  But then, is anyone, really?

Loving all the names.  I actually know a guy named John who has a son named Jackson, so that one was particularly amusing to me.  I also noticed that none of the kids have been named after anyone in Noah’s family, at least so far.  And don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting to have those spoiled yet, though I’m happy to know you liked some of my suggestions :D .  Now if I could just remember which all ones I went with…  Didn’t really think to put it in anywhere, but for some reason I’ve always liked Alexander as a middle name for Peter, though I remain undecided on the other two.

And yes, loving the idea of more family cosplay.  Oh god, they would never get ANYWHERE at a con because they’d be getting stopped every 3 feet for pictures.  For Star Trek, I feel like they’d do groupings from assorted series and versions.  Chris, Peter, and Noah are totally OS Spock, Kirk, and Bones (Peter with strategically torn shirt, of course).  I think Melissa would be their Uhura, and Natalie would be Yeoman Rand (she wants to see if she can fake the hairstyle), because I dare anyone to tell them they can’t pull off dresses that short.  Since he has sword training from his hunter background, Melissa makes Julio be their Sulu.  Boyd, Derek, and Jordan would be Picard, Riker, and Data (Derek would totally figure out how to do that weird way Riker sits down, too.)  After much debate, I feel Stiles would be Kirk from the recent films (NuTrek, or whatever they call it), Jackson would be Spock, and Malia would be Bones.  I think Lydia would make an excellent Uhura for them, as well.  Scott would be Scotty because he can remember to answer to it, and it gives him an excuse to do a TERRIBLE fake accent.  I’m leaning towards Isaac for their Chekov, but beyond that can’t think what to do with everybody else, I’m not familiar enough with the different tv shows.

Marvel we’ve talked about some.  DC I have a few random ideas.  I always thought it would be funny to see Peter, Derek, Jackson, and Liam do the assorted Robins.  While I feel Peter is DEFINITELY more of a Jason personality wise, I think he’d be far more comfortable in Dick’s costume that Derek would be, and if Derek was Jason the heights would line up better.  Jackson would be Tim, and Liam would be Damian (because who else would play DC’s tiny and angry than TW’s tiny and angry?)  Also, don’t overlook the fun and variety of villains DC offers.  The last group costume I did was a cross between Bill & Ted and assorted Bat-villains.  We called it Bruce & Dick’s Excellent Adventure, and even photoshopped a sign to carry to help people get it.  Among our line-up was Cleo-Catra, Ivybeth the First, The Poison Queen, Harley Antoinette, Joker Napoleon, Freud Nygma, and Bane-thoven.  (I really need to do something with the various pieces of my costume someday.)  I know there are several girls in the Bat-fam now, too, depending on who all wants to be a part of it, or if they want to skew more Justice League/Teen Titans/Young Justice.

Oh man, Disney.  So many options.  I feel like Lydia and Allison as Ariel and Prince Eric is a given.  I also like the idea of Kira and Malia as Belle and the Beast, partially because of Malia’s issues about having to hide her nature, and also because I think she could absolutely rock that suit.  Ben could join them as Chip.  (Stiles would actually make an excellent Belle, but I feel that might just get weird.)  I can see Danny helping Erica rig up a Sleeping Beauty dress with strands of LEDs that keep shifting from pink to blue to green so the dress keeps appearing to change color (it’s a massive hit.)  I don’t know why, but I really want Stiles and Jackson as Elsa and Anna for some reason.  Scott can join them as either Kristoff or Olaf, depending on the mood he’s in.  Can’t quite decide for the other pack kids.  Since the theme is nominally just fairy tales, I think the dads could just opt for a classier, fancier version of their Red Riding Hood looks.  Maybe go for a steampunk edge or something (I would have included links here, but Google was not my friend today and I couldn’t find quite what I wanted.)  Rich velvets and wools in vivid scarlet and forest-y greens, black and deep brown leather and suede, lots of polished buttons and buckles, loose cotton shirts unlaced at the throat.  Mmm, yes.  And Peter could have one of those super fancy Victorian type nightgowns with the long sleeves and high necks made out of super soft and fine materials.  Instead of getting some kind of mask to wear, he’d just do his partial/beta/whatever you want to call it shift and let them add extra fur on with makeup to blend it in.  Everyone just thinks it’s amazing effects work.  He does opt for some cute wolf paw slippers since cons tend to get snotty about people going around barefoot.  (Applying and removing the fur is also how they learn his ears are particularly…sensitive…to a delicate touch in that form.)  

Lord of the Rings.  Yes.  Like, I can’t figure out who or any real details right now but.  Just.  Yes.

I feel like some years they enter the costume contest and some they don’t, just depending on their moods.  (They totally take the Jurassic Park group to a con and people adore it.  It makes for great skits.)

Random bonus thought for the day concerns dancing.  I was thinking about the whole drag queen thing, and whether Jungle was around in the 90s, and it sort of segued into what types of dancers they are.  I feel like Peter is a very good dancer.  Not quite competition level, maybe, but very skilled, nonetheless.  Like Malia, he’s just very comfortable in himself, in all forms, which helps with spatial and bodily awareness, in addition to his natural grace and balance.  I also feel he’s the most likely to have taken, like, ballroom lessons or similar as a kid, maybe at a parent or grandparent’s insistence.  With Noah I keep thinking about the various videos I’ve seen of Dylan dancing both outside of TW and as Stiles, and I feel his dad would have a very similar style of awkward disaster from the chest up, undulations worthy of a harem girl from the waist down (those Stilinski boys tend to leave a lot of confused boners in their wake.)  In Noah’s case, settling into his frame after that last growth spurt and learning self-defense/martial arts helped smooth most of the awkward out, but it resurfaces every so often.  Chris I think would be the least likely to dance, just because I feel his background would make him very self-conscious about it, whether he wants to feel that way or not.  He’ll dance if it’s just the three of them or just family, or for a slow dance, but that’s normally it.  However, if he’s drunk enough, or if Noah or Peter have dragged him into a dark corner to makeout for a while and gotten him all distracted and relaxed, he can be pursued out onto the floor to show off some actually pretty sweet moves once he lets go.

Anyway, gonna try and wrap this up, because I just realized it’s way later than I realized, and I should try and get some sleep at some point.  Enjoy your game, I hope it’s epic!

When this little paragraph made me realize I had a gaping plot hole in this chapter and I got to go back to fix it. My god my friend, you are a lifesaver!

I also like that it apparently took them nearly 20 years to learn about planning for this sort of thing.  I know you’ve mentioned Peter and Chris being the ones that do the stupid thing next chapter (or something to that effect), but really I feel the biggest moment of "what the hell, guys?” is Noah getting knocked up just two months after Chris.  It’s like, you guys had a huge, in your face, live example of why protection is important, and yet…

Because oh yeah I wanted to make it canon that wolves can detect a heartbeat of the embryo at 4-5 weeks. Which is about a week after the heart starts beating. And oh yeah, Chris is two months along by the time Noah gets pregnant... shit. I wrote something else in that flashback.

And now I got to fix that, so cheers!

I also finished writing my chapter today! Yay! All glorious 13K of it. And I’ll be editing and posting tomorrow (or technically later today as it is past midnight.) Oh, I’m so excited, I’m so excited to see what you think!

As for the game, my god it is awesome!!! I played a few hours today but my heart raced so much I had to pause after two hours because I was getting dizzy because of my heart. But it’s a great game so far, very accessible and it just draws me in completely. It’s so good.

Definitely what I needed after my day at work.

hehehe I’m happy to see my previews and writing and getting emotions, it sounds so bad, but that makes me smile because it’s getting the desired response and that’s awesome. 

“Cue Lego Movie music”

can you imagine the furor that would have occurred about a Slytherin and a Gryffindor hooking up in Fourth Year (I think?), and then pulling an innocent little Hufflepuff transfer under their spell?  Would any of them have played Quidditch?  (Peter I feel definitely played, though I can’t decide what position.  Undecided on the other two.)

I think Peter would’ve been a chaser or beater, somehow those seem to fit him well. Noah played but he was a keeper. (which would be funny if Peter was a chaser since they would get to battle lover’s disputes on the quidditch pitch) Chris I feel wouldn’t play quidditch, he’s too busy trying to keep track of his studies and really just likes to watch the sport but not participate. I think he’d be more into care of magical creatures and defends against the dark arts than any kind of sport. Though he does join and excel at the dueling club.

And the scandal of Peter and Noah dating from fourth year on would be massive, people can barely wrap their heads around it. But they’re happy and they’re just doing their own thing. And they don’t pay attention to anyone else but what they think and what Chris thinks of them.

Peter shifting to his wolf form and curling protectively around them all the time, head pressed up to their abdomen so that he can listen and scent at maximum effectiveness.  Them just gently stroking through his fur until one or both fall asleep.  (Also, how quickly do the other wolves in the family pick up on the changes in scent?  How do they react?  How do the older kids react to the idea of more siblings in general?)

<3 <3 it’s honestly an adorable image. The twins are very active when dad’s curled up around them, knowing just where to kick so Peter’s wakes up by a foot to the face. Though he doesn’t mind and just nudges back gently, letting out a low grumbling noise or whine that he knows the babies can hear in utero. As for how quickly, it depends on whether or not they smelled it before. Jackson, Ben, or Scott wouldn’t pick up on it. They weren’t wolves around pregnancies before. Malia and Derek catch on quickly though. They start noticing the scent change at around 5-6 weeks and hear the little heartbeats of the new family members.

Malia is moderately excited, she’s a little worried about her dad and how he will handle pregnancy at his age. (Although he’s like 35 when he gets pregnant, that counts as a geriatric pregnancy, dad... I’m worried.)

Stiles just flips between the two of extreme worry where he read up on pre-eclampsia and other pregnancy complications and birth complications and omg what if that happens. But he’s also so so excited because omg he’s finally gonna be an older brother!!

(He knows he’s Ben’s older brother, and he adores the tyke, but it’s different when you have a pregnancy close instead of a five-year-old sibling from one day to another.)

Jackson is pouty and a bit grumpy. He feels like he’s losing baby status in the family more and more and he doesn’t know how to deal. (Ben was a bit difficult to get used to for him but Chris handled it well by setting time aside for his baby Jackson. It helped. But now he’s a teen and there’s going to be two more babies and he’s- he doesn’t know how to feel. When Chris breaks the news he wants to have another baby he’s even more torn but he does come around, deciding that he will always be the baby of the family, even when he’s not.

It’s a good compromise. And the three parents set some time for each of their kids so everyone gets attention.

Allison handles it the best out of the teens, she’s very excited for all of them and immediately to volunteers helping with decorating the new nursery. She paints a few awesome looking murals of Winnie the Pooh or Bambi or some other cutesy Disney animals (Or maybe even a space/star wars or a fairy tale ala Fables theme?) and just goes all out. She also convinces Malia to quilt a blanket for the new baby and helps her knit a few cute hats. She’s just extremely excited and happy.

Ben is very happy too, he’s finally not the youngest anymore and he’s happy to be an older brother. He also finds it fascinating to learn how pregnancy works and how those babies got in there in the first place. They let him tell them how it works and explain some basic details, sperm, egg, you need both to have a baby and the baby grows in pops and papa’s belly. But they leave out any details that Ben doesn’t figure out or doesn’t ask about to keep it more age-appropriate for him. 

Though Ben’s smart and he figures out a lot on his own. Noah and Peter are honestly impressed by Ben’s deductive skills. They knew Jackson and Stiles had them, but they hadn’t expected Ben to show them too. He’s a quiet observer.

They were not prepared for the sheer DILF power of that household live and in person.  But then, is anyone, really?

Honestly, I don’t think anyone is. Nobody can resist the sheer DILF power.

Since the theme is nominally just fairy tales, I think the dads could just opt for a classier, fancier version of their Red Riding Hood looks.  Maybe go for a steampunk edge or something (I would have included links here, but Google was not my friend today and I couldn’t find quite what I wanted.)  Rich velvets and wools in vivid scarlet and forest-y greens, black and deep brown leather and suede, lots of polished buttons and buckles, loose cotton shirts unlaced at the throat.  Mmm, yes.  And Peter could have one of those super fancy Victorian type nightgowns with the long sleeves and high necks made out of super soft and fine materials.  Instead of getting some kind of mask to wear, he’d just do his partial/beta/whatever you want to call it shift and let them add extra fur on with makeup to blend it in.  Everyone just thinks it’s amazing effects work.  He does opt for some cute wolf paw slippers since cons tend to get snotty about people going around barefoot.  (Applying and removing the fur is also how they learn his ears are particularly…sensitive…to a delicate touch in that form.)  

I- this whole thing? yes. Headcanon accepted because it is that good. I can literally just see them going in steampunk hunter, red riding hood and the wolf. thank you for putting that image in my mind XD

I feel like Peter is a very good dancer.  Not quite competition level, maybe, but very skilled, nonetheless.  Like Malia, he’s just very comfortable in himself, in all forms, which helps with spatial and bodily awareness, in addition to his natural grace and balance.  I also feel he’s the most likely to have taken, like, ballroom lessons or similar as a kid, maybe at a parent or grandparent’s insistence.  With Noah I keep thinking about the various videos I’ve seen of Dylan dancing both outside of TW and as Stiles, and I feel his dad would have a very similar style of awkward disaster from the chest up, undulations worthy of a harem girl from the waist down (those Stilinski boys tend to leave a lot of confused boners in their wake.)  In Noah’s case, settling into his frame after that last growth spurt and learning self-defense/martial arts helped smooth most of the awkward out, but it resurfaces every so often.  Chris I think would be the least likely to dance, just because I feel his background would make him very self-conscious about it, whether he wants to feel that way or not.  He’ll dance if it’s just the three of them or just family, or for a slow dance, but that’s normally it.  However, if he’s drunk enough, or if Noah or Peter have dragged him into a dark corner to makeout for a while and gotten him all distracted and relaxed, he can be pursued out onto the floor to show off some actually pretty sweet moves once he lets go.

Malia definitely inherited Peter’s dancing skills, I like to think Jackson did as well. Those three are the best dancers in the family. They just move with natural ease. 

Allison is a decent dancer, her gymnastics training really helps but she’s not as fluent as her brother, sister, or dad.

I feel like Noah and Stiles have awkward flailing down to a T but every once in awhile there’s a hip movement worthy of a fucking professional dancer and it’s very confusing. But yeah, totally agree with that assessment of them.

Chris isn’t much of a dancer and neither is Ben. Both of them are very self-conscious. Chris gets better when he’s drunk because he let’s go of insecurity but even then it’s not great. He just doesn’t dance, it’s not his thing. Although he was a very good grinding and hip rotation move. He’s also pretty good at jump style once he lets himself go and just turns his mind off. but the rhythmic jumping just feels natural to him. He also likes to slow dance since he can just bury his face in Noah’s shoulder or nuzzle Peter’s cheek and just forget about everything else.

Also, I like to think they all love to sing. Chris’s voice is best suited for country I feel like. Noah’s more for singer-songwriter. And Peter just loves singing pop songs and he knows how to hit some high notes. 

And now I am going to bed because It’s almost three am XD And I need some sleeps. Thankfully I have the day off this sunday.

[mermaidsirennikita]

January 2019 Book Roundup

New year, new reading challenge, etc.  After a decidedly bad start, I found 1) a very fun, very Gothic thriller 2) a sad but well-written YA contemporary about toxic friendships and 3) a fun Holly Black sequel.  Not a total loss, then!  My favorite book of the month, all things considered, was really probably Holly Black’s The Wicked King--if largely because the ending was exactly what it should have been.  On to February!  I’ll try to read a bit more romance that month, juuust to rub my own single-ness in a bit more.

Lie to Me by J.T. Ellison.  1/5.  Ethan and Sutton seem like they have it all--he’s a famous author, even if he has been struggling with writer’s block for years; she’s a successful romance novelist, though her recent run-in with a nasty reviewer online has tarnished her reputation.  Though they were shaken by the loss of their baby, they seem to be getting it together.  Until Sutton goes missing, with a note to Ethan warning him to avoid looking for her.  I won’t say much more, because you can probably guess the plot here, save for some twists that weren’t really twists because they were only there to shock and made very little sense.  This book ripped off Gone Girl to a degree that wasn’t so much capitalizing on the domestic thriller craze as it was literally ripping off Gone Girl.  This was just kind of stupid.

Luna and the Lie by Mariana Zapata.  2/5.  Luna works at an auto shop, and has for years, while supporting her younger sisters.  One of her bosses has become a father figure to her; the other, Ripley (or “Rip”) is the bane of her existence.  However, when Luna is invited to her grandmother’s funeral, she is concerned about coming into contact with her estranged family again.  In a bid to stay protected, she asks Rip to accompany her--which leads to her keeping a secret for him.  Honestly, I don’t even feel like I can properly give this a review because it just kind of bounced off of me.  I don’t mind a simple, even kind of dumb plot as long as I’m enjoying myself, and I just wasn’t here.  But someone else might!  A Zapata book’s enjoyability, I’ve learned, lives and dies on whether or not you’re into the male lead.  Rip was like...................... the opposite of my type.  So it didn’t work for me.

The Au Pair by Emma Rous.  4/5.  On the day that Seraphine and her twin brother, Danny, were born, their mother Ruth flung herself from the cliffs outside their ancestral home of Summerbourne.  Shortly after the death of their father twenty-five years later, Seraphine discovers a photo taken on the day of her birth, before Ruth died--but in it, Ruth is holding only one baby.  Increasingly obsessed with the truth behind her past, Seraphine seeks out Laura, the au pair employed by her parents before the twins were born.  But the more Laura avoids her, the clearer it becomes that what happened that day at Summerbourne may be worse than Seraphine imagined.  This book is ALL about the atmosphere.  It’s got a Gothic vibe, with the characters’ obsession with family and Summerbourne adding this super creepy edge to everything.  I can’t say that the plot is especially fantastic--I did see the ending coming, and I can’t say that much here was super revolutionary.  But the tone?  A+.

The Wicked King by Holly Black.  4/5.  In the sequel to The Cruel Prince, Jude has now had control of Cardan, the new High King, for five months.  This makes her the true power behind the throne--but her relationship with Cardan is not an easy alliance.  Struggling with her attraction to Cardan, Jude is warned that someone close to her is a traitor; and in order to keep her power, she must uncover that person’s identity as soon as possible.  This book was so dependent on the love-hate dynamic between Jude and Cardan working.  And oh, it does.  The tension between them simmers.  Their dynamic is easily the most compelling part of the book.  And the rest is good, too--I’m not one of those people that thinks Black has reinvented the wheel regarding the fairy thing in YA... because she hasn’t.  But this was *fun*, and I enjoyed it.  I could do without some of the cringey aspects of Black’s fairies (I refuse to call them faeries).  Overall, however, I’m really excited for the next book--the ending really sealed this one.

White Stag by Kara Barbieri.  2/5.  Janneke has lived in servitude to the goblin Soren for nearly a century, given to him by his wicked uncle, Lydian.  Just as she realizes that her humanity is slowly eroding, the Erlking dies, leaving a power vacuum.  Determined to keep Lydian from ascending to the throne, Janneke joins Soren in the hunt for the White Stag--the future king’s source of power--and along the way struggles with coming to terms with both her past trauma and her uncertain future.  This book has a great premise, but is bogged down by a lack of worldbuilding and slow pacing.  It just couldn’t keep my attention, despite the fact that I am an admitted sucker for sexy goblin books (HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEE).  Furthermore, although I appreciated Janneke’s trauma and the fact that she still hadn’t come to terms with it, something about the way it was handled felt rather clumsy?  Well-intended and not exploitative, but... yes, clumsy.  I wouldn’t be against trying something else by Barbieri as I think she has potential, but the pacing ultimately killed a lot of my interest in this one.

Our Year of Maybe by Rachel Lynn Solomon.  4/5.  Sophie and Peter have been best friends since childhood; and Peter has been sick the whole time.  Now that she’s turned eighteen, Sophie is donating her kidney to Peter; and she secretly hopes that this will be the catalyst for the change in their relationship that she’s long wanted.  But after the transplant, Peter is different--he’s free for the first time in his life.  Free to pursue new interests, a life separate from Sophie--and Chase, a boy he likes.  As Sophie and Peter grow apart--both struggling with guilt and gratitude--they find themselves forced to define a relationship that may be growing toxic.  First off, I love the way that Solomon writes her characters.  They’re so real and flawed and sometime straight-up assholes.  I also love that Peter is bi and this is just kind of a part of him--but a part he’s never really been able to explore, due to his illness.  There’s a lot at play here, and neither Sophie nor Peter get a villain edit, which is refreshing.  They just... are incredibly codependent.  And there is a good deal of attraction going on there, which adds to the complexity of what they’re dealing with.  And really, neither of them have ever had anyone else to lean on outside of family.  This book is basically just digging in to Sophie and Peter’s relationship; outside of that, there isn’t too much plot.  But that?  Is really good.  Is it quite as good as Solomon’s debut, “You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone”?  Not really.  But God, she’s a breath of fresh air in YA contemporary.

Echo North by Joanna Ruth Meyer.  3/5.  After hardship debilitates his family, Echo’s father journeys out to sell his wares.  Echo finds him lost in the woods, at the mercy of the very same wolf that scarred her years before.  The wolf gives Echo an offer: if she spends a year in his home, her father will be set free.  Taking the deal, Echo finds herself in an ever-changing house full of living books and secret rooms, with the wolf as her constant companion.  He sleeps in her room at night, with only one rule: she must never light the candle to look at him in the dark.  As you can imagine, this is an “East of the Sun, West of the Moon” retelling.  And there were so many things I loved about it.  The writing style is super pretty, exactly what you’d want from a fairy tale.  Furthermore, Meyer plays with some really interesting concepts that I hadn’t seen before.  But... I never was as emotionally attached as I wanted to be.  Nothing really surprised me.  I’d like to see what she does next, but I do think she needs to work a bit on character development and emotional intensity.

[korean-tsundere]

26 Things About Me

A- Age:

625

B- Biggest fear:

Abandonment, being left behind by the ones I love most

C- Current Location:

Richmond-upon-Thames, London, England

D- Drink you last had:

Whiskey at Marcel's

E- Everyday need:

Sleep and quality time with my family

F- Favorite song:

I'm a music producer, I have many.

G- Ghosts, are they real?:

I've met enough warlocks with the ability to commune with spirits to know they are real. Besides if all other supernatural beings exist, why can't ghosts?

H- Hometown:

Daegu, South Korea

I- In love with:

My amazing soulmates Skylar Leif and Daniel Park

J- Jealous of:

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Why be envious of others when you may just have someone envious of you. I'd rather spend my life making the most of it than waste time being jealous of others.

K- Killed someone?:

Unfortunately, yes. While I am remorseful for causing their family pain by taking his life, he nearly killed my little brother and did kill my unborn niece or nephew before threatening my soulmates and then unborn children. I wanted to make sure he couldn't hurt anyone else I love. To his family, I am truly sorry for your loss but I had to protect my family.

L- Last time you cried?:

The day my children were born.

M- Middle name:

I don't have one.

N- Number of siblings:

Alot!

Technically 3 adopted siblings through David and Magnus (Atti, Ezra, and Raphael) and 2 in laws including their significant others (Kwan and Liam).

I have 1 platonic soulmate I consider a brother (David).

I share soulmates with 3 and consider them family (Joel, Alec, Ava), as well as their significant others (Gryffin who is married to Joel)

O- One wish:

For my family to always be happy, healthy, safe and have everything they want in this life.

P- Person whom you last called:

Liam and Isaac since they were watching the kids so that Skylar, Danny, Joel, Gryffin and I could have a night out.

Q- Question you’re always asked:

The most common: Soulmates, plural? Fiancées, plural?

Honorable mentions: What's it like being the adoptive son of Magnus Bane? Is it weird your platonic soulmate is marrying the man you consider your father figure?

R- Reason to smile:

My entire reason for living: Skylar, Danny, Hagen and Aera.

S- Song last sung:

I sang an old Korean lullaby to Hagen and Aera the other night to help them sleep but before that I was asked to rap on tracks I was producing for the singers Max, Halsey and IU. Occasionally I lend harmony vocals on tracks for artists I produce for.

T- Time you woke up:

This morning? 3 am because Hagen and Aera were hungry so Danny and I got up to change them and give them bottles so Skylar could get some sleep.

U- Underwear color:

Not that it's anyone's business but Danny and Skylar's but they are black. What kind of question is this?

V- Vacation destination:

I've visited nearly every corner of the world over the past 600 or so years but I have places I like going back to more than others. Brazil, Spain, Japan, Australia, Islands in the Caribbean.

W- Worst habit:

I have several. The worst would probably be trying to hide it when I am having issues with my anxiety and depression and forgetting to eat when I'm in producer mode. But I can never hide either from Skylar and Daniel or David.

I bite my nails when I'm nervous (though not as much anymore), I tend to scratch myself subconsciously when I'm anxious, I rub behind my ears and neck when I'm shy, I bite my bottom lip when I'm thinking about something, Danny says I tend to "purr" when I'm talking and stop to think about what I'm going to say next and do this little hissing inhale alot when I talk but I never noticed either.

X- X-Rays you’ve had:

Only a couple and that was because I went to the hospital so the mundanes who saw me hurt on the street when I was living on the streets in Daegu wouldn't know I was supernatural. Usually I just scan and heal myself or go to Magnus if I'm injured, the perks of being a warlock.

Y- Your favorite food:

Kimchi Stew and literally all meat

Z- Zodiac sign:

Pisces

[supercultshow]

Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz! I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Bat Nipples” with a minor in “Ice Puns”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!

This week winter has come at last to Supercult in the form of one of the greatest cinematic blunders in all of history: Batman and Robin!

Batman and Robin are back in the fourth film in the Batman superhero series and the second film in the series directed by Joel Schumacher. George Clooney stars as Bruce Wayne/Batman while Chris O’Donnell and Michael Gough return as Dick Grayson/Robin and Alfred Pennyworth, respectively. The dynamic duo are back to protect Gotham City from villainy, but when the cold-hearted Mr. Freeze and the enticingly toxic Poison Ivy attack tensions rise between the two heroes. Can the Dark Knight and the Boy Wonder resolve their differences and save the city from certain destruction? Strength Now. Courage Always. Family, Above All. Batman & Robin!

As of 2019, this is the first and only appearance of Batgirl in a live-action Batman feature film.

According to a makeup artist, Arnold had potentially deadly costume effects. The battery for the LED lights in his mouth would start to dissolve in his saliva and leak battery acid into his mouth.

“Curses!” -an actual line from this already silly film.

Michael Gough: one of the only person to survive all 4 original Batman films (the other being Pat Hingle who played Commissioner Gordon). What a bad ass.

Someone please tell me how all these diamonds somehow combine into a fuel source for a freeze laser.

George Clooney and his stunt doubles went through 50 rubber Batsuits.

After the film’s negative reception, plans for Tim Burton’s “Superman Lives” have been shut down. The movie would’ve been a first attempt to have a shared universe between Batman and Superman, with George Clooney reprising his role as Batman, and with Nicolas Cage as Superman.

Is this a miniature? Is this an overly indulgent set? Does the audience care?? Do the ACTORS??

You want to have plants take over the earth and I want to freeze the planet. Sounds like we should work together!

Two Words: Bat Nips.

This gang is apparently called the Golums, but we all know they’re really called the ‘We Love Neon and Blacklight Club’.

The Batman costume was a 50 lbs. (22.6 kg.) rubber body suit with a 40 lb. rubber cape attached to the headpiece. Batgirl’s and Robin’s costumes weighed 50 lbs each. Mr. Freeze’s weighed 75 lbs.

Oh Bane…it would take 15 years before films did you justice.

I mean, yeah, this movie is bad. But Arnold looks pretty snazzy in his polar bear slippers.

Did we mention that Coolio is in this film? Well…he is. It doesn’t make the film any better or worse. It’s just…a thing that is.

From the opening frames of this film you know it’s going to be a treat. The foam latex laden suit-up scene seems to linger just a bit too long on expertly modeled bird buttocks, bat nipples, and caped crusader cod pieces. The opening would fit just as well in a high-budget Batman burlesque show. Oh, how optimistic the 90s were. The original Batman directed by Tim Burton seemed like such a long shot and paid off spectacularly. Burton discarded the camp of the 1960s Adam West TV series and adapted the atmospheric gothic noir of the 1940s…which is apparently an era when Batman couldn’t turn his head and has no problem with just straight up murdering people. Tim Burton’s version of batman was so iconic that it defined the tone, color, music, and even dialogue choices for the entire character for the next 2 decades. The next three sequels, Batman Returns and Batman Forever, stuck to the formula of the 1989 original for the most part. In each the level of camp was slowly cranked up:

Batman Returns: Let’s take up half the Warner Brothers lot with expansive water-filled Gotham City sets! Let’s focus even more on the villains and really hammer home the tragedy and the childhood pain festering into megalomania! Not only that, let’s have TWO villains instead of just one! Let’s get a combination of real penguins, actors in fiberglass penguin suits, and puppets for the villain’s evil missile-toting penguin army! DID I MENTION THE PENGUIN ARMY??

Batman Forever: They liked the two-villain thing, so let’s do that again. We’ll get another two actors at the top of their game to play ridiculous, over-the-top, gothic cartoon characters! Let’s go with Tommy Lee Jones, still riding off the high of his starring role in the Fugitive, and then Jim Carrey at his comedic height just a year after the release of not one but three of his most iconic films: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask, and Dumb and Dumber! Oh yeah and let’s swap out the director, the lead, the love interest, and paint the whole film in neon. These things aren’t meant to be dark, gritty, adult films! They’re comic book films for god’s sakes! We gotta sell toys to kids!

But here’s the thing Supercultists: If you’re going to be this campy you have to be either funny or endearing. Carrey carried Batman Forever and killed it as a genuinely funny and threatening adaptation of the Riddler. Danny DeVito, in his own gruesome way, made us feel for a Batman villain in a way that the batman animated series later sought to emulate with their reimagining of Mr. Freeze and the creation of Harley Quinn.

So, what happened? Was it overindulgence? Sure, scenes are campier and there are now not 2 but 3 villains: Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, and a neutered version of Bane who serves as a glorified mook for Ivy. Perhaps the concept of pushing the art style even further strained the bounds of reality? Sure, Gotham was larger than life in 19889, but the 1997 version has gigantic futurist statues holding up the buildings as if Gotham was constructed on the corpses of a race of colossi. Perhaps the film lost some of the comedic charm of its predecessors. At last count Mr. Freeze utters something like 27 ice puns throughout the film and at times it can be difficult to discern whether or not the film is being ridiculous on purpose. The opening fight scene looks like Batman on Ice with the heroes literally clicking their heels together to activate ice skate boots.

Perhaps the problem is higher up than that… Was it the studio pressure to make the film more “toyetic”? The film’s design seems catered to the toy market with every character having a wacky light-up vehicle, set piece, or gadget that could function as an action figure. Batman’s new car features a transparent hood so that audiences can see the colorful spinning bat-engine as if hypnotizing children and adults alike into emptying their wallets at the nearest department store this Christmas. For crying out loud Poison Ivy even has a line “I’m a lover, not a fighter That’s why every Poison Ivy action figure comes complete with him!” *points to Bane* Perhaps it was simply cost? In their bid to get even more top-billed Hollywood names for the latest and greatest (read: only, unless you count things like Spawn) comic book film, Arnold Schwarzenegger was reputed to have earned $25 million for his approximate 25 minute on-screen role as Mr. Freeze, basically a million a minute. Not to mention Uma Thurman, the poster girl for Pulp Fiction, and the, at the time, up and coming George Clooney.

The whole film cost an estimated $125 million and was a modest commercial success but was a spectacular critical flop. With a 3.7 on IMDB and an 11% on Rotten Tomatoes, it’s no surprise that the film killed the batman film series and nearly killed the entire superhero film genre. The film was voted #1 in Empire magazine’s “50 Worst Movies Ever”, #5 in Entertainment Weekly’s Top 25 Worst Sequels Ever Made, and won a Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress for Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl (as well as 10 other Razzie nominations for everything from Worst Picture and Worst Director to Worst Screen Couple and Worst Original Song). Not Joel Schumacher or George Clooney defend the film anymore. When filming was over, George Clooney reportedly quipped, “I think we just killed the series.” He’s even been known to refund people who saw the film and has called the film a “waste of money” in spite of his admittance that it was the biggest break he ever had as a then TV star making the jump to Hollywood.

But we here at Supercult know it’s not the worst film (we’ve seen A LOT worse). At the very least it’s entertaining at times, hilarious at others, and always a feast for the eyes. Even now we can see the 90s superhero film influence on modern pop culture. The next few superhero films such as Sam Rami’s Spider-Man series still attempted to recreate the earnest wackiness of Tim Burton’s series while attempting to avoid the cautionary tale of Batman and Robin. Grittier remakes of batman still pay homage to Tim Burton’s Batman in their aesthetics, their music, and their tone.

Batman and Robin may be the worst batman film ever, but that makes it the best Supercult Batman film ever, bat nipples and all.

This is why Superman works alone! The Supercult show is proud to present Batman and Robin!

    Batman & Robin Howdy all you Supercultists out there on the interwebz! I’m Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Bat Nipples” with a minor in “Ice Puns”) and I’ll be posting my hype-tacular speeches every week along with some long lost speeches from past Supercult Shows!

[merlinistheredheadedstepchild]

9 Wolf’s Bane – July 25, 2011

Ugh Harris Prof. Adrian R. Harris

Laura Hale wrote out a list with a bunch of different Harris’ 

The Alpha can speak He wants Harris to see what he did 

Derek rescues him but he leads them on a really well done foot chase Scott and Stiles lead Kate on a merry chase in the Camaro 

Derek scares the police dogs away 

Scott’s maybe not so good at high speed chases

Incendiary arrows Nice Chris is not opposed to guns

Scott and Stiles show up and help Derek escape

Derek is very upset cause he almost had the Alpha when the cops showed up Also he calls Scott a dumbass Which is fair Cause he’s now the most wanted fugitive in the entire state

“Or just him. I’ll be back here.”

You’re eye rolls and glares are everything Derek

The last time he talked to Laura she was close to finding something She’d found a guy named Harris and a sketch of Allison’s necklace 

Jackson’s at the doctor getting his neck checked and talks to the doctor about how he’s been having these nightmares of a burning house and people screaming And as it turns out this is a nightmare and a little bit body horror cause the doctor pulls a vine out of his neck And then the doctor is suddenly Derek telling him to ‘hold still’ Jackson doesn’t know how but he recognizes that monkshood is also wolfsbane

Then he convinces Melissa (the only nurse in BHH) to let him look something up He figures it out Confronts Scott and tries to blackmail him into getting him the bite 

Scott and Stiles are actually dressed nice and normal

The game tonight is quarter finals 

Lydia is in a class with Scott and Allison English They’re discussing Othello Scott is trying to emotionally manipulate Allison by sending her photos of them She asks him not to talk to her. She needs more time to get to just friends

Jackson is being a creep in the lunchroom

“Your minds blank?” “Not under this kind of pressure.”

Jackson stop being a terrible person I was just starting to like you 

Jackson and Allison are at the school swimming pool He’s wearing a speedo which implies school sanctioned She’s wearing a string bikini which implies not school sanctioned But also he’s being really sweet with her And then he breaks up Lydia via text message and calls her dead weight 

Oh look, Derek’s just lurking in the corner of Stiles bedroom

Ugh The Sheriff is such a good dad He’s so awkward and proud And just fully accepting of his very weird son 

Derek shoves Stiles into the door to threaten him Stiles is not having it He’s cocky

“If you say one word.” “Like hey dad Derek Hales in my room bring your gun?” And Derek actually looks cowed “Yeah that’s right if I’m harboring your werewolf ass it’s my house, my rules.”

Is that blood on your shirt Derek? How long have you been wearing those clothes

Scott’s breaking into Allison’s room Which she has finally been organized and decorated

Stiles is trying to convince Danny to trace a text instead of doing lab work Derek is just sitting in the back of the room reading what looks like a dictionary but is probably a history text book 

My cousin Miguel He gets these horrible nose bleeds 

Oh that shirt is terrible and Derek is reasonably unhappy at having his body be put on display 

“You’re a horrible person.” “I know, it keeps me awake at night.”

Scott finds some stuff from their first date and Allison’s necklace and the bête book 

Danny finds out the text was sent from Melissa’s work computer

It’s a Saturday because they have a game to get to

Scott jumps off the roof and Chris is there Do you even look around Scott? Try to have some situational awareness 

And Chris gets his horrifying on Like I know he’s not actually being threatening but he is also clearly being threatening Derek has never once managed this level of control or intimidation But I believe Chris would kill Scott with that beer bottle 

“How do you know Derek Hale?” 

Cut to Allison running in the woods by the Hale House, and behind her we can clearly see an asphalt road So they must not have lived too far from town

Yes Ally Go in the burned down wreck of a house Find some claw marks on the floor

Oh She was trying to figure out Derek’s psyche That’s actually cool 

But then Kate’s there Following Allison and creepily stroking charred wood 

Allison just wants not to feel scared She wants to feel powerful And Kate full on circles her and touches her the way she does Derek 

Chris is concerned because Allison has seen Scott talking to Derek He’s just playing the concerned dad card Scott tells him that everything he did in the school was to keep Allison safe She overhears this 

Scott calls Stiles to ask if he got the pictures Stiles is in the jeep with Derek Derek has all the questions and is nearly breaking Stiles arm to ask them He really is so much more dynamic when someone he’s not afraid of is the only someone he’s with That’s what it is Derek is flat around most people Stiles is one of the people he’s three dimensional for

I’m pretty sure that sign is different than it was in Magic Bullet Beacon Hills Hospital Long Term Care I’m guessing they realized it would be easier to have Peter at the hospital

Stiles is gonna miss the game to try and keep Scott safe 

“By the way, one more thing.” Bam “Oh god, what the hell?” “You know what that was for.” 

Jackson knows it’s gotta be the bite He and Scott actually talk about the wolves and hunters Jackson immediately puts it together that the argent’s are hunters and their last name means silver

“Ask for the one named Jennifer. She’s the one who’s been looking after my Uncle.”

Cause Derek can’t go into a public building

Peter’s not in his room

Derek is just so smart

“Stiles get out of there right now it’s him he’s the alpha get out” 

And Peter is Peter 

Derek knocks the nurse out and tells Stiles to get out of the way And Dylan makes a choice to just crumple to the floor and I support that

“You think I killed Laura on purpose? A member of my own family. My mind. My personality were literally burned out of me. I was being driven by pure instinct.”

The fight choreography is pretty good I’m not sure if Derek’s heart isn’t in the fight or if its meant to show how much stronger peter is Like maybe peter really fucked him up throwing him into that wall 

“You want forgiveness.” “I want understanding. Do you have any idea what it was like for me all those years.”

Derek just looks so small punching Peter

“I tried to tell you what was happening. I tried to warn you.”

God him crawling away

Stilinski is talking to Harris about something that happened six years ago A girl in a bar who was interest in chemistry And a week later the Hale House burned downed Harris give him the drawing of the necklace

I do not like Derek in pain And Peter can just grow his face back in a few seconds

“Derek you have to give me the chance to explain. After all we’re family.”

Derek looks ready to die 

Jackson gives Scott seventy two hours to get him the bite

Aw Papa Stilinski shows up looking so proud and then worried 

“That one’s Jackson” “Holy hotness. If only I was in high school again. Or maybe just a substitute teacher” “You are sick.” 

Welp There’s the confirmation 

And then she notices the scratches and asks Chris if you can get turned by a scratch

I think until this moment I believed that Deaton was the Alpha. I don’t remember who I thought it was or if I had other theories. 

Why is that ‘you must be Stiles so fucking terrifying’

End episode

[korean-tsundere]

The Fae looked familiar, he had seen him around. Eric had no doubt he was a spy for the Queen, Danny had mentioned she had a few in the realm but out of respect for his Queen never said who they were. He was sure the information he was giving him would get back to the Queen and honestly Eric didn't mind. She should know considering one of her own was nearly killed by one of Marcus's henchmen. "You could say he's my little brother. Adopted by my platonic David and his fiancé and my adoptive father Magnus Bane so you can only imagine how angry they are this happened." He says before sighing "They haven't come for me yet but my fiancé has two platonics that are Nephilim. He said one of them was taken off the case because of his connection but they have started their investigation. It's only a matter of time before they come."

At Genius Lab

"He fucked my studio up." Eric grumbles to himself as pulls out his phone to take pictures for Kyle to see the damage and all the blood before he cleaned it up.