#DTC

[imnotditzy]

Captain Marvel doesn’t know what a normal death is

(TW: mentions of death, brief mentions of murder gang violence)

No but really if you ask a street rat, literal living lighting, a bunch of ancient immortal people and a really wise king from a bajillion years ago, why would a reasonable answer be an option?

Like Billy thinks that if you’re 60 one of your feet are in the grave. Why? Because that was the life expectancy in the 50s. He's also homeless so he’s already more exposed to crime anyway, I wouldn’t doubt he thinks death by “minding someone else’s business” is common enough to be recorded as such in its own category and not murder. Also, he literally fights supervillains who try to kill him everyday? His view is skewed so much, that the damage might be irreversible. 😭

Moving on, Marvel is literally sentient magic. They can’t die, and if they can it’s not a thing that’s very easy to come by. The amount of work it takes to even do the equivalent of a paper cut is excessive, the concept of them dying would take a lot to set in. And they are a lost cause when it comes to knowing what a normal death is. The only “normal” deaths they’ve really paid attention to are the deaths of the Champions…and none of them had anything close to a normal death. (One of them literally gets hacked in two 💀)

The acronym; do I even have to explain? All of them besides Solomon, Heracles and Achilles literally haven’t died. And literally no hero in Greek mythology dies normally. Solomon is the only one who’s died of natural and normal causes, but he was alive in the BCE. That is a long time ago.

Now, Combine all of them together and what do you get? Captain Marvel: someone who does not have a correct interpretation of typical death!

This would probably concern others around them. Especially the JL, because I feel like Captain would mention this randomly.

—

(Green Lantern [Hal] and Captain Marvel were sent to investigate a crime scene together and they stumble upon the body.)

Captain Marvel: Aw…seems like their time came. (Captain’s got a sympathetic but large smile.)

Green Lantern (looking down at the stabbed body): Um, Cap?

Captain: It’s a shame. But I guess nothing could be done…

Lantern: Captain, they were stabbed???

Captain: Oh, I know. Happens to the best of people, right?

Lantern: Uh —No? Captain this is…worrying??

Captain: They’re in a better place now. Maybe.. ☺️

—

(They’re now back at the watchtower for a debrief, but it somehow turned into Batman questioning Captain Marvel.)

Batman: Captain can you explain why the body was not concerning to you?

(Batman’s staring at Captain intensely.)

Captain (confused smiling): …because there was nothing to worry about?

Batman (raising an eyebrow): Why?

Captain (hesitant): Because there’s probably not a serial killer or whatever running around? They killed an insider, it was gang violence.

Batman: How were you sure?

(Captain looks up to the side like their remembering before shrugging)

Captain: …Oh, I’ve seen similar bodies like that before.

—

(This occurrence is reason #5738 on why Captain Marvel cannot interact with civilians. But in Captain’s defense, how was Billy supposed to know lifespans updated?)

Captain Marvel (pointing at an “old” lady): Oh, she’s 62?

Citizen: Yeah?

Captain (sympathetic): Oh. It’s good she’s still on her feet though.

Citizen: What?

Captain: She’s thriving for her age, right?

Citizen: C—Captain Marvel, she’s 60 not 99. She just retired.

Captain (confused): Really? Why would they have her working so long if she’s nearing the end? (The lady turns around with this expression on her face: 😟)

Citizen: Because she wanted to?? Captain are you ageist?

Captain (never heard that word a day in his life): Uh, I don’t think so? What does that even mean??

(The media later somehow gets ahold of the footage and it becomes such a scandal it reaches the JL; Captain Marvel is then forced to have a public statement. At the giant press conference, Mary and Freddy are there standing next to him and laughing.)

Captain Marvel (whispering): Shut up, it’s not like you thought any different.

Miss Marvel (also whispering): Yeah but we’re not stupid enough to say it to their face, Captain.

Captain Marvel (still whispering): It’s not like you guys would have any less scandals than I do if you were in the media as much as I am.

Reporter (impatiently): Ahem. Marvels?

(Both siblings look like deer in headlights while Freddy laughs at them. They both apologize in unison.)

(Captain then clears their throat, they look like they’re dreading this.)

Captain Marvel: I am terribly sorry for what I said about [62yo citizen]. I hadn’t intended to be rude, but I seemed as such because I had a gap in my…

Solomon (telling him what to say): …Knowledge. I was under the assumption that the average lifespan wasn’t much longer than a person’s 60s…

Captain (repeating what Solomon’s saying): I now know that, while once true, that information is outdated.

(Billy went on for three more minutes, only stopping because the DTC got too bored and people were starting to give him funny looks.)

[corehopeart]

pov your trying to focus but you can only think about the history of mass communication media and nothing is processing

[helps-the-writing-brain-go]

Divine Twitch Chat but make it horror.

The Patrons are always watching but now one of their characters is Aware.

Billy is their favourite little scrumbly. He has his powers, but Marvel or not, there are always eyes upon eyes upon eyes on him now.

Even worse, ever cursed at your TV show? The Patrons can change it, they're viewers but they're also directors now- if they don't like the plot, they can make Billy / Marvel different.

On the one hand, the aspects that are helping him, due to the strict choice of having a Pure of Heart Chamion, are their kinder, gentler aspects. For a given value of kinder.

Their first resort is simple verbal instructions. Gentle encouragements on the way they want things to go and in general this works out because aren't they supposed to guide him anyway?

Slightly more pressure in persuasion is them bribing him, giving him powers when he's Billy, toying with the weather, with luck, with strength and cantrips on bullies to give him a good day.

Harder still, shouting directly in his brain, he can't ignore. A body made of Living Lightning, so powerful, so invincible and yet-

Crafted by Their hands, it is thus so so easy for Them to back-seat drive, to puppet.

Billy goes along with it. He has no choice.

He has to be good, so the ones helping him to do good must be good as well, yes?

"And as always, the Young are sacrificed at the altars of the Powerful."

[hyugaruma]

H&L: Drunk Texting HCs

☆

re: in which they’re drunk texting you…

“woman” used

☆

Masaki

• Alright, so he’s about what you’d expect him to be… If you’re thinking cheery and flirtatious, you’re right. Almost obnoxiously so. If you don’t respond quick enough, he’ll be blowing your phone up with every little thought that he has. “Do yuo remmember when we first met? Did yup think I was cool?” “Doyou think birds get sad?” “Wish food was opne…hungry.”

• His texting isn’t atrocious, but there’s definitely some word-deciphering to be done here and there. Seems to consistently type “you” wrong.

• Sends a blurry selfie or two. You save them, obviously, because his adorable smile is to die for. Yeah, go ahead and make that his contact picture too. Oh, but he expects a selfie in return, obviously. “Let me see yup beaotiful, send yuor beautful face.”

Hyuga

• This guy doesn’t text. He just doesn’t. What’s an emoji? He has no idea. However, on the occasion when drinking, if you aren’t around, he may whip his phone out and start texting you. Though, it’s mostly just him telling you to come to wherever he is. “Come over” “It’s 1 in the morning…” “Fine I’m coming to you” And don’t doubt him, because he will. Because he’d much rather actually be with you than just texting you.

• If he can’t see you, he’ll probably opt to calling you at some point as his vision grows blurry and texting becomes increasingly more difficult. Will accidentally call someone else though, because he can’t figure that damn phone out. Old man Hyuga. “Hah? Who’s this? Why’re you with my woman? …Ah, sorry Ukyo, wrong number.”

• Will most definitely pass out at some point, but not without saying goodnight first. He’s a gentleman, after all. Rolls eyes. “Night see you tomorrow” “Wait, Nori, did we have plans tomorrow? Nori?” Aaaand he’s out.

Hirai

• One word: needy. Something akin to a puppy, but maybe even worse than that. At least puppies eventually wear themselves out, but Hirai seems to be on an endless timer when drunk. Remind him that you love him, he’s begging you. Call him cute, that’d make him really happy. “You still love me, right? You seemed like you were mad at me the other day and I just wanted to say that—“ cue very long paragraph with a bunch of nonsense. Sigh.

• Lots of heart emojis. Like, almost at the end of every text. Always pink hearts too, like the one he has next to your contact name. “Just watching some show, what’re you up to ♡”

• Really just wants to remind you how much you mean to him, how cute you are, how much he needs you… Please don’t leave him on read, even if he gets a tad annoying. He gets his feelings hurt really easily when drunk, especially if it’s by his beloved. Also, he’s a bit embarrassed by it all the next day… Don’t use it against him, he really can’t bare it.

Dan

• Incoherent. That’s it. Like, you have to wonder if he’s typing with his eyes closed. “Covet said smthhg I can remembrance” “Covet” “COBRA DAMSIT” “Want smoe chzzy Roman” …Yeah, good luck figuring that all out.

• At some point he’s practically typing while asleep, but is still so adamant about texting you that his fingers seem to have a mind of their own. You can ignore his illegible texts, he really won’t blame you. In fact, it’s probably for the better. That way he can eventually forget about his phone and actually go to sleep.

• If out in public, will probably end up losing his phone somewhere throughout the night. It wouldn’t be the first time. He also dropped it in a toilet once. Yeah, maybe he needs to stop drunk texting you…

Brown

• If one thing is consistent about his phone drunk self and his real life drunk self, it’s how flirty is. Like, borderline inappropriate. If the two of you weren’t already dating, you definitely would have blocked him. He really can’t help himself though, he just thinks you’re so sexy. What’s a man to do? “Send some pics, doll” “Pics of what?” “Everything” Unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately?) you can probably expect him to send a few pictures himself… I’ll leave that up to your imagination.

• Pretty sporadic and inconsistent texts, especially if he’s out drinking instead of at home. Sometimes it’ll be seconds between replies, and sometimes hours. There’s really no telling, so don’t bother trying to have some sort of consistent conversation with him. “Miss you, doll” “I just saw you earlier this afternoon” [2 hours later] “Sorry, was trying to find your point” “-_-“

• This man has no shame. He will not feel any regrets for anything he says or does the following sober morning. In fact, expect this sort of drunk behavior pretty often. No matter what choice of scenery he’s chosen to drink in, he’ll always end up texting you. Well, at least you know his focus is always on you.

[a-s-levynn]

So i just got an email. (text below) DTC is doing a thing, so anyone who ever thought about getting one of the sticks and haven't done it, you might want to consider it now:

An offering from the hands of II.

DTC present a chance to receive a pair of ii’s signed drumsticks—imbued with the ritual that flows through every beat. These sacred tools cannot be purchased, only granted, and each signed pair will arrive with a certificate of authenticity.

From today, every order of ii’s sticks will enter the draw, and for those who pledged since September 13th, you too have been brought into the fold. Pre orders are blessed with twice the chance.

Step forward, and let the ritual continue. Only the chosen shall hold what cannot be claimed.

Act with haste

[graystreet003]

"he never leaves the disco alone"

[delhi-transport-corporation]

and BREAKING NEWS just in, I got offered a pink pass by the ticket person without asking, I am not even dressed that androgynous, holy shit, my enby want to confuse people is fulfilled.

[jiwasaissappy]

Them😔❤️

[amalikas-art]

My boy (TM) finally has a ref sheet 🥳

Sinistra is a big flirt and seems like a bit of a jerk, but if you look beneath the surface you'll actually find a caring friend. He is part of @articaartes Dream Team Cafe in which he tries to figure out life with "just a roommate" Solar 🦝🐰

[briselegeredansletemps]

La creme anti-age de Caudalie contient du collagène vegan.

Ahahaaaaaaaa

... voilà comment une équipe marketing rajeunit le concept du baume miracle à l'urine de cheval du XVeme siècle, pour l'adapter à du communautarisme alimentaire et à l'imbécile consommateur de messages publicitaires

[imnotditzy]

Imagine if Billy didn’t know Shazam died?

(This is actually apart of my AU lol)

But what if Billy didn’t know Shazam, the Wizard, was actually dead? Like maybe he did see Shazam get crushed by rocks but he just thinks a Wizard could survive that, Or he doesn’t remember meeting Shazam for whatever reason. (Like he knows it happened because his pantheon told him so, and he remembers like a tiny bit of being at the RoE, but maybe he doesn’t remember Shazam dying)

This would be kinda funny to think about, especially if the pantheon’s trying desperately not to let Billy know Shazam died. But they occasionally slip up, and each time they do Billy gets slightly more suspicious. Also, in my AU since Billy and Marvel and separate entities, I think it would be funny aswell if Marvel didn’t know either. (—which I do have an AU explanation to make it work, but I fear I may be getting too off track already.)

—

Heracles: Shazam was a good wizard.

Marvel: Was?

Heracles: IS, is. I simply misspoke—Shazam is a good wizard.

Marvel: Oh… 🧐

Billy: 🤨

—

Imagine if literally every other magic being knows Shazam’s dead, but Captain’s just none the wiser and tries to talk to them about the Wizard.

—

Zatanna: So…how’d you get your powers?

Billy (as Cap): Oh, by this Wizard, his name’s, uh…

grabs a piece of paper and scribbles the name down

Zatanna: Shazam?

Billy: Yup! Gave me my powers, have you heard of him? I think he’s very well known. I haven’t seen him in a while. Hope he’s still doing alright.

Zatanna (Going pale at the mention of a very much dead Wizard being referred to in present tense): Mhm….yeah…

—

(the league in the cafeteria, listening to one of the rare times they got Captain to talk about themself. —Billy’s just procrastinating going outside in the midwestern November cold.)

Billy: So I got my powers from this Wizard, his names…um. I think I told Zatanna? Captain looks over at her.

Zatanna (going pale): Really. I don’t remember.

Billy: Oh, okay, that’s fine! Here.

Grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down the name.

Superman: Shazam?

Every magic user in the cafeteria freezes.

Billy: Yeah! He’s the wizard who gave me my powers. I haven’t seen him since I became Captain Marvel, though. I should really go talk to him, maybe I’ll do that later.

****

Achilles: But what if we didn’t…

Hercules: How about we don’t…

Solomon: That wouldn’t be a good choice, Billy.

Zeus: I agree, you’d be just of a fool as Atlas to go.

Atlas (offended): Wow.

****

Zatanna (uncomfortable): I don’t think you should…

[zorailys]

Dashy The Cheetah 🐆✨💛🌟

She is her name is Daphne Cheetah, she was born in Africa, Tanzania, clearly for her own good, that birthplace, East Africa, which was basically the African culture, that I dedicated one of the fastest terrestrial animals in the world, it is a cheetah, it is the favorite feline, she is a young African woman who can run at full speed for more than 80 to 130 kilometers, her reference is Mach 2 in between. An anthropomorphic cheetah that searches for peace and injustice

[faultcodes]

What is a DTC Code?

A DTC, short for Diagnostic Trouble Code, is a code used to diagnose malfunctions in a vehicle or heavy equipment. While the malfunction indicator lamp (MIL)—also known as the check engine light—simply alerts drivers that there is an issue, a DTC identifies what and where the issue is. DTCs are also called engine vehicle fault codes codes, and can be read with a scanner that plugs directly into the port of a vehicle.

[karenlynnfangirling]

I just binged all 13 episodes of the series Awake (2012). Fascinating concept, really well carried out. Kept me guessing and wondering. It got super meta and surrealistic especially in the last episode, but the suspense was amazing.

That aside, though. Am I the only one who just sees Kerry Weaver every time Laura Innes is on the screen? I was having ER flashbacks galore. (And enjoying every second of it, if there was any doubt. 🥰)

[canajunfinances]

Time to Re-apply for the Disability Tax Credit Certificate For many folks, their DTC has a lifespan and will expire, so check to see when you must re-apply for the disability tax credit. This was back before my son got a DTC with no end date.#Disability #DTC #Canada https://www.canajunfinances.com/2015/11/12/time-to-re-apply-for-the-disability-tax-credit-certificate/ 

 (via Time to Re-apply for the Disability Tax Credit Certificate)

[graystreet003]

Disco days Dr. Trousers

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Two close ups to compensate for the quality loss on the entire image