#DO YOU EVEN GET IT that I am TRYING to deal with healing or I’d avoid this entirely. effectively never see ANY of you again

[void-tiger]

…why am I even doing this. And am I feeling a distortion or reality.

[arctrooper69]

As Iron Sharpens Iron

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

Beta-read by @dragonrider9905

Chapter 1:

Previous // Next

Warnings: Jealousy. Brief mention of blood. Canon violence.

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You couldn't even look at her.

That thought alone made you sick to your stomach. The fact that you couldn't bear to look at a woman simply because she was interested in the same man that you were, made you want to cry.

Am I really that shallow? You thought bitterly as you slammed the hydrospanner into the damaged component of the landing gear you’d been trying to dislodge.

I can’t believe I was so stupid! You jammed the point of the tool violently into a crack, trying to pry it out. Of course he’d go for her. She was prettier than you - funnier too.

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath.

Hunter is his own man. He likes someone else. Not a big deal.

Except for some reason, judging by the heavy ache in your chest, it was a big deal, no matter how much you tried to fool yourself into thinking that everything was fine.

The landing gear piece was still stuck fast. You set down the hydrospanner and picked up the plasma cutter.

This better kriffing work or I’ll have Tech up my ass for a month about it. Not to mention having to tell Hunter that I broke the ship. Again.

You ran your fingers over the healing scar on your cheek and looked at the carbon scoring around the piece that stuck fast, fused in place by laser fire.

A smile made its way across your face as you remembered how it all happened. You were providing cover fire so they'd have time to escape - more exposed than you'd like to be, but it wasn't anything you couldn't handle - until a stray shot hit the ship at just the right angle.

Hunter had tackled you to the ground, shielding you from the blast with his own body.

Despite the chaos around you, being in his arms felt safe.

“Don’t ever do that again!” It was meant to be an order but it felt different than any of the others he’d given over the past year. The way he’d taken your face into his hands, carefully examining the small, insignificant wound on your cheek. His face was unreadable but as you’d looked closer, his eyes were a whirlwind of relief that you hadn’t been hurt worse. There was something else there too - something that fed the hope hidden away in your core that your feelings toward him were reciprocated. He’d kept his hand on your arm as you stood up. They were strong, steady hands that kept you warm and stayed on your arm seconds longer than the moment demanded.

But then you’d found him in a closet with Phee’s sister only hours later at Cid’s parlour.

I’m so stupid. How could I have read him so wrong? What made me think I’d ever have a chance with a man like Hunter? You shook your head, angry at yourself for letting your guard down. For the first time since the beginning of the Clone Wars, you’d felt alive in a way that didn’t involve throwing yourself into violently dangerous situations. You felt at home with this band of misfit clones. You had finally allowed yourself to feel and acknowledge the emotions that came with it. Now you remembered why you hadn’t done that before. It was stupid and you would make sure that it wouldn’t happen again.

Finishing with the plasma cutter, you brought a wrench down hard with a loud clang. The piece barely moved an inch and you threw the tool down with a frustrated groan.

“You okay over there?” Phee poked her head around the corner, eyebrow raised.

“I’m good!” You grinned, hoping the faux smile would keep her from asking anymore questions. “Just trying to get this stubborn kriffing piece out so Tech can replace it when he gets back.”

Phee chuckled as you glared at the offending part. She walked over to the side of the ship, looking up and down at the stripped landing gear.

“Damn… what’d you guys get into this time?”

It was your turn to chuckle, grateful for the distraction from your spiraling negativity.

“That is a very complicated story,” Tech answered for you as he rounded the corner, “However, I do not currently have the time to tell it. We have another mission from Cid and should be leaving as soon as we’ve made our repairs.”

Good, you thought. Another mission might be just what you needed to get out of your head and back into the groove of things. Back to normal.

Tech stopped next to Phee in front of the landing gear, surveying the mess of tools and ship components. He frowned. “Although, it seems as though that may take a bit longer than I originally thought.”

He grabbed the hydrospanner from the ground by your feet and began prying at the piece you’d been working on. “I will fix this. You pick up the tools and get that carbon scoring off of those panels.”

Phee grinned as she began helping you scrape. “I love it when you get all bossy like that, Brown-Eyes.”

Tech’s cheeks darkened, the only indicator that he’d heard her at all.

You smirked. Tech and Phee were so different from each other. Her carefree sense of adventure and aptitude for playing fast and loose with the rules seemed opposite to Tech’s academic personality and rigid structure. But despite their differences, they seemed to bond over an innate sense of curiosity and wonder. They belonged together.

Like Hunter and I should be, you thought bitterly.

The silence that fell on the group as you worked was deafening. Every so often you caught Phee pausing to watch as Tech worked his magic with the repairs.

Tech remained oblivious, but found himself sending subtle glances towards her as she worked. Every glance felt like daggers through your chest. A reminder of what could have been yours.

“How’s it looking, Tech?” Hunter walked around the corner, setting a crate of explosives down for Wrecker to load onto the ship.

The knife you’d been using to scrape the panel suddenly felt heavy and clumsy in your hand. It slipped through your fingers as you frantically tried to catch it but failed as it hit the ground with a dull thud.

You gasped as a thin line of blood blossomed across your pointer finger and the palm of your hand.

“Kriff!” you grumbled under your breath. Hunter stepped forward quickly only to be intercepted by Phee who grabbed your injured hand, inspecting it.

“Eh, you’re fine,” she pulled a bacta patch from her pocket, quickly wrapping the injury as though she’d done it more than her fair share of times. “Be more careful with that next time,” she chided. You looked up expecting to see Hunter but he was gone.

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@zoeykallus @ttzamara @nahoney22 @merkitty49 @viva-la-whump @agenteliix @dumpsters-little-matchbook @nekotaetae @ladykatakuri @loverofclones @heyitsaloy @padawancat97 @jambolska-grozdova @flyingkangaroo @melymigo @rain-on-kamino @jiabae @my-own-oracle @dragonrider9905 @queenofspades010 @ordinarylokix @jupitersaturnapollo @queencousland101 @vampire-rogue @southernbaguette @staycalmandhugaclone @dalu-grantkylo @dangraccoon @aconstructofamind @sev-on-kamino @kixs-husband @pb-jellybeans @atomickidsoul @caitnotfound @temmiegailg @skellymom @freesia-writes @trixie2023

If you want to be on my taglist, feel free to send me a message! Also, asks are open! Reblogging is very much encouraged and it makes me do a happy dance every time any of my writing gets reblogged 😂❤️

[moonlit-imagines]

Needles and Knives

Jason Todd x reader

warnings: um. needles and knives

a/n: i just wanted to do a tattoo artist au for jason im weak. also no this isnt an nsfw

prompt:

It took a bit of thorough deliberation to figure out just what you'd be getting permanently inked on your body, but eventually you'd been able to settle on a meaningful piece. Quite the piece according to your artist, Jason Todd.

You walked into the studio, a bit dark and dingy in an endearing way. Fortunately, Jason's setup was more clean and organized than the rest of the place. "Sorry for the mess, the other guys aren't as concerned about health code as I am." He chuckled as he walked over to the front desk. "Far as I know, there hasn't even been an inspector here in at least five years." You laughed with him as he got everything set up on his end.

"Thanks for taking me this late," you said, "I'm kind of a night owl."

"You're not the only one." Jason tapped the chair you'd be sitting on for the appointment. "Make yourself comfortable, it's gonna be a pretty long session." You'd picked a nicely sized thigh tattoo that would be roughly three hours long, but Jason said he was in no rush and would only charge for two. You didn't think he was in this for the money, he seemed to like what he did. Or maybe he just liked poking people with needles. Either way it was a good deal and you liked being in the studio late and alone, it was more peaceful this way.

He was as gentle as possible, checking in every few minutes no matter how much you assured him you could take a little pain. Judging by the looks of it, you could say the same about him. There were plenty of scars on his arms from what you could see past his t-shirt sleeves. You tried not to make it obvious as you started observing the rest of his exposed skin for other marks. There was definitely a faint bruise around his eye and a few healing cuts and scrapes under bandages. Maybe he was trying to fool you with the “new tattoo” look the way those bandages were wrapped, but you could tell he got roughed up. You wondered if his knuckles were just as bad under the gloves.

“You alright?” Jason asked once again, wiping away at the ink on your skin.

“Uh-huh.” You dully replied.

“Seem a little nervous.” He commented without looking back at you, dragging the needle across your skin again. “You can’t keep still.”

“Oh.” You mumbled. “Just a little restless. Not used to sitting in one spot this long.” You both chuckled lightly.

“I know the feeling.” Jason responded. “Tattooing is really just a side hustle, I don’t do it all that often.”

“Really? You seem pretty experienced.” You complimented him and took a peek at the work so far. “What’s the ‘main hustle’ then?” You pried and watched his lips curl upwards ever so slightly.

“That’s a secret.” He responds after a moment of hesitation. You thought he was joking—just a bit of a tease—but he never did give you a straight answer. You were forced to keep awkwardly staring at the injuries he’d sustained recently and further back and make your assumptions. Maybe he got in a fight with a bear. Maybe several bears.

“Late night tattooing, huh? Any particular reason?” You innocently asked. He laughed just a little—just enough to embarrass you a little bit—and stopped tattooing.

“Let’s take a break. Can I get you a water?” Jason offered and walked over to the mini fridge.

“Oh, uh, sure?” You accepted. “I didn’t offend you, did I?”

“No, not at all.” He assured, handing you a cool bottle and taking his seat once again. “You’re just full of curiosity. Remind me of my brother. Always asking questions.”

“Not always a bad thing.” You took a sip and checked the work in progress. “Looks promising so far.”

“I’d hope so.” Jason used a paper towel to pat it lightly with a gloved hand. “You’re a bleeder.”

“Needles do that.” You nodded playfully. He was charismatic, made you feel welcome and not like a burden for making him do the work. He liked your design, he helped bring it to life, and he made sure you were comfortable when the needle was in your skin. You were just so curious about who this guy was when he wasn’t in this dump of a tattoo shop. “You ever gonna tell me what the main gig is?”

“I’m a pastor.” Jason answered and you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, I bet.” You noticed your cheeks start to hurt from the smirk you couldn’t shake since you’d started conversation. “Boxing?”

“You could say that.” Jason agreed with that guess. “Why do you think that?”

“The bruise on your face and all your bandages.” You tilted your head to motion what you’d noticed in your short time together. “Is that not it?”

“Oh, no. Right on the nose.” Jason was either very good at lying or had a very dry sense of humor. Either way, you figured it was time to stop prying. He was, after all, just your tattoo artist.

After a few minutes of cooling down, Jason got back to work. He’d been more focused thaan before, brows furrowed as he lost himself in the detail. That could only benefit you, though. And by the end, the tattoo looked beautiful.

“Thank you, it really looks amazing.” You moved to check all angles in the mirror.

“It was a great piece, I’m glad I did it justice.” Jason started cleaning up as you paid, you said your goodbyes and left the building.

Gotham wasn’t exactly the safest of places and you were pushing 2AM as you walked down the street. Of course you knew walking was not the best mode of transportation, it was the one getting you home tonight. Especially after blowing all that money on your tattoo.

Halfway home, you realized that you were being followed by a group of people that definitely did not know you or have any positive intentions. You picked up the pace and upon realizing this, they began advancing. You thought that it was over for you before loud screams caused you to stop and spin around. There you saw a man in a red mask standing over several unconscious bodies, freshly beaten by himself. Red Hood. “Are you alright?” He asked you, which gave you deja-vu. Even with that mask on, the warped voice, the concern in the question could not thwart you.

“Jason Todd?” You asked in a whisper. The mask didn’t convey any emotions, but the pause in his answer did.

“…No.” He said.

“Yes.” You replied. “Boxing.”

“Let’s not talk here.” He requested, walking along with you to a safer location. It took some time, but you got home okay.

“Were you following me?” You finally got the chance to ask him.

“Yes.” Jason responded honestly. “I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. Luckily, I was there. You make it a habit walking alone in Gotham—at night?”

“I ought to do it more often if it means you’ll be watching.” You slyly flirted with him, adrenaline still pumping a bit from the tattoo and the fear of being attacked on your walk home.

“Oh, how hilarious.” Jason took off his helmet after you let him inside. “Don’t do dumb shit like that again. You’re gonna get that pretty face of yours roughed up if you’re not careful.” He warned in the same flirtatious tone.

“What, like yours?” You tapped the side of your facecthat mirrored his bruise and he nodded.

“This isn’t pretty. And I’ve been through much worse, believe me.” Jason put his helmet back on.

“Oh, I’m sure.” You sat down on your couch. “I’m sure you have other beautiful people to follow home and ensure their safety. Have fun out there.”

“Remember the care tips for that tattoo. That’s some of my best work there.” He pointed sternly as he approached the door.

“You’ll just have to check in and make sure. Maybe you can help me with that, too.” You smiled mischievously and wondered if he was blushing under that helmet.

“Maybe I will.” His mask distorted his voice still and he shook his head. “Make sure to lock this.” Jason reminded as he exited out the front door.

“How will you get back in, then?”

“I’ll knock.”

taglist: @captainshazamerica // @cipheress-to-k-pop // @the-did-i-ask // @azazel-nyx // @summersimmerus // @deanzboyfriend // @zoeyserpentluck // @mr-mxyzptlk-1940 //

[mrsmiagreer]

Favorite Redacted quotes but the list gets longer everytime I find a new one

“And the energizer bunny…Takes a tumble” -Milo

“Is this why you put up with my memes and shit? Because i gotta big dick and a great ass??” - Guy

“WHAT ECHO?!” — ALL OF REDACTED aka echo

“Do you love me?” — Imp!Damien

“Keep his name out of your FUCKING mouth” -Sam

“Laying in comfortable silence, hands roaming lazily betwixt our supine bodies, tracing gentle patterns across supple skin…Yes that was all about my eyes😂” — Guy

“This isn’t like a dog or something. Like normal wolves are big. Shifter wolves are even bigger…and i’m on the bigger end of that too” -David

“Is David being a total groomzilla about your side? Oop— Heard that-” Asher

“But I bet I’d lay down for it” — Vincent

“Make it two” —Sam

“Great deal on a large sausage” —Guy

“Will you marry me, Angel?” —David

“….Isn’t that right??” “Heyyy no tickling!!” — Gavin and Caelum

“No not just yes…say the words…say the whole thing” —Vincent

“Ohh— You are getting close! Hi! Hi baby….I love youuu” —Guy

“We are NOT matching. I am wearing my work clothes, YOU’RE wearing contraband” — David

“someone please get the gentleman a door prize”— Blake

“I was thinking a little less nature documentary and little more battle bots you know like i want you to just fucking SNAP me like a twig😭” -Guy

“No! You can’t tell me I taste good >:(” — Lasko

“Who are you and what have you done with my lover??” — Guy

“I know baby I know” — Milo

“Staaapppp you’re being rude… Yes RUDE you heard me!” —Guy

“…..do it— hmmmMmMmMmm okay okay….That had a little less finesse than i’m used to” —Milo

“You know what wordplay reminds me of? Tounge twisters!! And you know what tongue twisters remind me of? Tongue kissing!! Let’s explore that topic shall we?” —Guy

“The goal is healin me, you can’t be hittin me at the same time” —Milo

“Show me that wagon ya draggin sexy uehh” -Guy

“Who’s that bitch we hate?” — Asher

“Any hole is a goal” — Guy

“Just move your ass…..hmm i didn’t mean to move it quite like that but you’ll get no complaints outta me” —David

“My mouth is good for a lot more than just…talkin” —Milo

“It’s our bedroom….It’s our bed” —Geordi

“Hey Baaaaabyy” —Ollie

“I’ve sat with these feelings long enough to know how to manage them I promise” —Blake

“Call me that one more time and you won’t be able to walk tomorrow” —David

“I cant be another mistake…because it’ll break me” —Blake

“I’m sure seeing him is like….like those healing classes. A nice diversion😊” —President Moore

“Milo…play nice” — Imp!Asher

“You don’t have to order anyone to do it…Just take volunteers” — Imp!Milo

“I just set my fucking curtains on fire” -Damien

“Who taught you how to do healing magic?? A construction worker with a jackhammer?!” —Milo

“You’re taking me so fucking good” —Milo

“I’m trying to get off of you…I don’t wanna crush you” —David

“Awe yeah i often walk into work with shotgun shells in my fucking brief case” —Milo

“I cant read your mind baby” — Vincent

“Welcome home my love. How was your day?” -Gavin

“Park it on me Sweetheart” — Milo

“That does not feel like searching for a key Lovely” —Vincent

“Do i need to set this stuff down or are you gonna behave?” —Vincent

“Yeah, no thinking about work today. Or we’ll come over there and kick your ass” —Milo

“Hey…sorry i’m late” —Blake

“Do I look like i care??” —Blake

“I’m a grown ass man” —Milo

“I DON’T whimper…” —Damien

“You know what we do to…Bad Boyss around here—💀💀💀” —Guy

“Did I really just get drive by kink shamed??!” —Asher

“Awweee poor baby” —Asher

“Keep it in your pants you two. I already mopped this morning😒” —David

“…boop” —Sam

“I don’t want this for you baby” —Milo

“Boot Licker” —Milo

“I’ll always find you” —Avior

“Wexler, Greer is causing problems at the west entrance” — That One Guard😭

“That wasn’t rhetorical. Answer me” —Imp!Damien

“I love you more than human words can convey” —Gavin

“Yes baby” —Gavin

“Ruth Holland are you here? Hello? Hello?” —Milo

“Fuck, bounce on my fucking dick” — Guy

“Moan. They moaned. You moaned.” — Geordi

“Pfftttt hahaha- Okay— WuHwuhWwaA—” — Guy

“This isn’t happening!!” — Ivan

“I don’t like you, and I’m not going to” — Alexis

“Hold still i’ll grab you one of mine” — Milo

“Bad. Worse. Better.” — Vincent

“Go kick that ass….champ? Oh God-” — Lasko

“No can do baby” -Huxley

“I’m just fucking with you” — Sam Collins

“I needa stop saying fuck. Fuck. Sorry. And i needa stop saying sorry. fuck. sorry. FUCK i mean FUCK so— oh fuck😭 Oh my god i am such an idiot” — Lasko

“I wanna touch” — Stranger/Caller/John..?

“Fuck! Fuck me—” — Lasko Moore

“Can I cum on you?” — Milo Greer

“I am not gonna have ants runnin round my house cause of you😭” — Sam Collins

“It is not funny, you FUCK” — Milo Greer

“I’ll spank your ass brat. Not like it’d be the first time. Or the last.” — Milo Greer

“You’ll be safe” — Blake

“Well of course it’s gaudy. I made it” — Gavin

“Shit Darlin. You really weren’t gonna say anything about this?” — Sam Collins

“It’s all good” — Huxley

“I hate to make a guy lose his fuckin’ noodles” — Milo Greer

“Where do you want these fangs baby?” — Sam Collins

“Do you have any idea just how much energy is coming off of you right now?” — Fool!Gavin

“Sorry” —Fool!James

“I gotta go faster before i start…fucking…crying or something😭” — Asher

“Moan for me baby” — Milo Rebane

“I’m still so hard omg…I think I can cum again” —Asher

“Because we’re going on a hike, baby” — Damien

“You want my body, you want my cooperation, then you let me have this. you let me have them” — Blake

“Blink twice if you need help buddy” — Asher Talbot

(I will be updating this list when i find/remember new ones😊)

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 9

don’t look back. remember? this is all we need.

if we kiss, you’ll be healed.

it’s not real. you just need someone to save.

could you at least wait until i’m gone?

everyone’s scared of something.

words just kind of fall out of my mouth sometimes.

it’s hot, sexy, heroic.

i took the blame to protect you.

this whole time, i’ve been trying to prove myself. prove that i belong. that i’m tough enough, strong enough. 

i care about you so much, but it just doesn’t feel the same as it used to.

by the way, now would be an excellent time to have a reliable therapist.

if even one person sees you, you don’t count as invisible anymore.

i give, like, a huge fuck. i give the biggest fuck.

i know we’re family.

i’m actually dealing with life or death things right now.

do you think i wanna be like this?

i suffer from anxiety and dread.

you have no idea what i’ve given up to protect you.

i will never find a new you.

i’d give you anything, because i love you.

if you’re in that much of a hurry to fucking die, you should just go and do it.

the second we stop looking for answers, that’s when we lose. 

we could’ve died. there’s no way we could’ve survived that.

i don’t wanna find out who i am without you.

we could be anywhere, i mean we could be here, we could be there, we could be anywhere in the world, but it would not matter, because you are my home. and i would really like to be yours.

you’re pretty when you smile.

maybe nothing’s ever gone.

i have to remind myself to breathe sometimes.

who doesn’t want easy? who doesn’t want to just fucking be okay?

i’ve never been more scared before. i’ve also never felt more alive.

being ready and being nervous aren’t mutually exclusive.

i respect you. you don’t take shit from anyone, including me. which is very cool.

i didn’t think you’d be the type to be into sharing your feelings.

when we had sex, it didn’t mean anything. it was a mistake.

a final girl must have a high threshold for pain.

i lost my mind for a couple of days. it just felt good to have a distraction. 

whenever i see some filth, i think of you.

the universe decided to drop a reminder of my greatest failure on my doorstep.

always focusing on someone else’s problem makes it easier to ignore your own.

i always knew that there was a part of you that i could never touch.

the best that i could do was love you and hope that that was enough to keep you here.

i’ve only ever done my best to save lives.

do not talk to me about pain.

it’s broken. i’m broken. and i can’t fix it.

you said we were a family. you lied. 

i’d play the hero ten times over if it meant being here with all of you.

so, as it turns out, my life is wherever you are.

try to concentrate on everything you have waiting for you when you get out of here.

you have someone waiting for you. i do not.

yeah i fucked up, but i did it my way.

it’s real, and i’m fucking terrified.

i’m doing way worse than sending nudes.

i can just radically accept that my mom is a cunt.

i’m like obsessed with being cool and popular. it’s fucking pathetic.

i think shitty things keep happening because i’ve been a self-centered asshole.

she’s mean to me. am i into that?

you’re just jealous because someone actually loves me.

i’ve never been this close to someone i’m not hooking up with. i just have a fucked up sense of intimacy.

you always make loving me seem like the easiest thing in the world.

it’s exhausting to lose a loved one.

she’s really great. she’s so great it scares the shit out of me.

am i being shitty? i don’t wanna be shitty.

being back in that house just reminds me i’ve always felt really, really lonely here.

talking about you ain’t making it about you.

everyone stares at me. i’m famous.

we don’t really have a great relationship just ‘cause of the whole ‘dead’ thing.

i don’t wanna be here anymore. i wanna be where you are.

so you’re mad at me for pushing you to be better?

i wanted to be here with you, ‘cause you’re in my head.

your superpower is that you’re shameless.

it’s not the end of the world. it’s just the beginning.

i know you. you’re already making decisions out of fear.

you said you needed me.

i wanted to do it with you.

so you’re willing to lose me, too?

i uprooted my entire life for you. i put you first because i care about you. i can’t believe you won’t do that for me. you’ll never do that for me.

bullshit, you’re lonely all the fucking time. you’re gonna die that way, too.

i guess all the time i feel kind of trapped because i can’t describe how i’m feeling.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

What do you think M6’s answers would be to the question “is it better to feel all the pain or nothing at all?” I haven’t played all the routes so I can’t answer for everyone but I think

Julian -feel it all

Asra -nothing

Muriel -at the start of his route nothing but as he grows as a character it would shift slowly to feel it all

Portia -feel it all

I’d also love to hear your answer if you’re comfortable with that! As someone who’s felt both my answer is nothing bc in my experience the numbness allows you to still function. Even if the life you’re experiencing isn’t as full as it could be, you still get to experience it. When I become so overwhelmed by Everything I completely shut down and cease to be a person. I am my emotions. And I think in Asra’s route this kinda gets explored in that they choose to not feel as deeply ever again bc a muted life with MC is better than a full one without them. Anyway can you tell I recently reread The Giver lol

Woah, that's a good question friend!!

To be completely honest, I think all the M6 progress from the "numb" to the "willing to feel everything" point throughout their routes - as is the case for many people who are in the healing process! (essay below the cut)

Julian, while fully embracing the misery of his situation, is also running from the part of him that wants a happy ending. Meeting the MC is his slow journey of self-acceptance, realizing that his happiness is valuable and worth fighting for. He stops choosing one feeling to drown out all the others and starts feeling everything in a context of loving and being loved.

Asra's in a similar situation. They don't see giving up half their heart as something to regret, but they still talk about the reduced ability to be attached to people as a loss. Reconnecting with MC, being able to slowly bring down the walls that used to facilitate a drifting, untethered survival mode, allows him to start caring more about the people around him since he has a person to call home again.

When Nadia wakes up, she's lost. Seven years of memory have blipped out of view, she's responsible for a city she knows very little about, and the people who are supposed to help her are only getting in her way. She speaks of a similar numb state, being detached and uninvested in the world around her, until meeting MC and finding a way forward gives her what she needs to flourish again. We see a lot of that emotional progression in her reconnecting with her family.

Muriel is an almost textbook case of complex trauma and the myriad of coping mechanisms that arise from trying to escape it. I've written whole essays on the effects of his deal on that process before, but his journey with MC starts with him just wanting them to forget about him, and ends with him asking MC to help him collect the memories of himself and his people.

Portia isn't quite as much numb as she is stuck. From the moment her parents' ship wrecked, she's lived her life in the orbit of other people. First her older brother, then the children and grandmas of Nevivon, then her older brother again, now the Countess - it isn't until she begins to receive that same attention from MC that she starts to really own herself and discover the true depth of her capacity. While we never see her choosing to be numb, we do see her hesitating to come fully into her own. With MC's empowerment, that's exactly what she ends up being able to do.

And finally, Lucio - he's literally numb. He's spent the last three years trapped between realms in a ghostly form that won't let him feel anything at all beyond hunger. While MC is instrumental in returning him the capacity to feel, it's Lucio's own choice to take advantage of that as a fresh start.

[impactedfates]

Hello. I was wondering if you could you write a platonic angst story where the reader is Blade's child. I was thinking that because Blade barely spends any time with the reader unless it's during one of their extremely harsh training sessions the reader decides to run away especially after one particularly rough training session where the reader was injured after they accidentally talked back and that night the reader starts packing their stuff but they accidentally left behind their late mother's pendant and Blade found it the next morning. (I hope you're okay with writing this and I wish you a good morning, afternoon or good night ☺️)

A/N: Hihi!! Dw I'm okay with writing this, thanks for the request! I hope you're having a good morning/afternoon/night as well :) This is not how I personally interpreted Blade, however to fit in with this request, I tried my best to match it up based on said request. I hope this oneshot is too your liking, I tried my best to follow the prompt of your thing. Tbh I don't like what I've written much but I hope you can enjoy it anyways.

W.C: 1389

Warnings: Blade is a bad dad, small mentions of death (Readers Mom and some mara struck soldiers), small mentions of blood, angst ending (I think?), most definitely an ooc Blade honestly...,semi-proof read as always.

((Reader is a teen in this))

Blade's sword slashed through the mara struck beings. His eyes cautiously looking everywhere to ensure he wouldn’t get surprised attacked. Soon the surrounding mara struck enemies where no more. He was able to go back home and see his love.

He called out her name, expecting a reply back. But all that filled his ears was eerily silence…he didn’t walk too far away from her did he?

He paused a bit and called out again, still no response, he was quick to turn and speed walked in the direction he saw her last. Eyes slightly widening as he spotted who he was looking for on the ground, bleeding out. The mara struck soldier who was responsible, right beside them about to deal a final blow, Blade quickly moved and slashed it, it disappeared into dust. But he had no time to celebrate his victory as he quickly crouched down and lifted up his love.

All she could do was weakly turn to him.

“I managed to kill it the first time…b-but their revival state was much stronger than I first thought…how stupid am I huh?”

She spoke, her hands quickly lifted to her mouth as she coughed, blood coming out. Blade was beyond concerned.

“I’ll…I’ll get you to a healer…just hang on tight”

He had softly said, standing up slowly, trying his best to make his way to a nearby healer he could threaten to heal her or just go back to the Stellaron Hunters Base to get her treated.

“Bladie…there’s no need…I-I don’t think I’d make it anyways…”

“Don’t say that, I just have to be quick”

He answered her quickly, shaking his head before cursing under his breath about the whereabouts of Kafka.

“Bladie…me and you both know I won’t make it…so…can you make a promise to me?”

“Sweetheart, you aren’t going too…I won’t let it happen”

Blade's voice rang out once more, but he knew she was right but he just won’t accept it. He can’t.

“Promise me you’ll take care of our kid…make them have a happy life…even if it is in this awful world…even if I’m not there…make sure they’re able to protect themselves as well so they won’t suffer the same fate as me…promise me?”

“S-stop…y-you aren’t g-going too…” 

“Promise me”

Blade stood still from where he was, halting his actions. He stared at her for a bit before looking away. “I promise…”

.

.

.

“Dad p-please can we rest…f-for just a minute”

Your voice ran out tiredly in the training room, your hands on your knees as you attempted to catch your breath. Your eyes glance up to your father, Blade. His sword was still in hand as he looked at you. Showing no emotion like always. He slowly made his way to you, out of instinct you moved back, until your back hit a wall.

“How do you think you’ll be able to protect yourself if you cannot withstand this training?”

He spoke, his eyes narrowing a bit at your form, as he folded his arms. Your breathing slowed a bit as you looked to the ground.

“T-these training sessions…are getting too hard for me…c-can’t we for once just…go out to eat or s-something” “What do you mean by that?”

You took a deep breath in, lifting your head up, eyes meeting his.

“W-we used to go out a lot w-when mom was still here”

You start, not failing to notice the way he tightened his grip on his sword by the very mention of your mother.

“M-mom…s-she would’ve liked if I was resting…I-I don’t think she’d like it if you or I were overworking ourselves with training”

“Your mothers gone”

Blade speaks, inching forward, his arms to his side as his eyes glare at you. You knew that bringing your mother up would strike a nerve in Blade, you knew how much he loved her. But you felt like this was the only way he’d listen.

“Yes, I know b-but…she would’ve wanted us to be happy, to n-not always train too-”

“She’s gone.”

Your father repeated, his grip on the sword increasing with each word that passed through your lips. You shut your mouth for a second, breathing in. Trying to calm yourself and giving your father some time to calm himself as well. Soon your father spoke up again.

“I lost your mother…I’m not losing you just because you couldn’t protect yourself”

“You’re not even there for me anyways, why do you care!?”

“Because I promised your mother!”

“Well you’re not doing a very good job at keeping that promise are you!”

.

.

.

It was quick, maybe you went out of line with what you said, maybe you didn’t. But the next thing you knew was Blade's sword stabbed on the wall next to your head, but also the feeling of blood trickling down your cheek. Your hand had lifted slowly to check the cut, it wasn’t deep, but it wasn’t small either.

Blades heaving breathing filled the room, his eyes looking at the floor before slowly to your face. He slowly moved back a bit upon seeing the cut on your cheek. He hadn’t meant too…he just…snapped. He only intended to stab his sword on the wall, not to hurt you in any way but he failed anyway. He quickly moved away from you and looked to the side before speaking up in a quiet voice.

“…I’m-”

“I’m going to my room”

And now here you were, packing your bags. You had already patched up your wound, but you didn’t want to stay for any longer.

You double, triple checked you had everything before waiting until the dead of night to sneak out. You didn’t know where you’d be going but…anywhere away from your so-called father right?

And despite all your checking, you seemed to have missed the gift your mother wanted to give you before she died.

.

.

.

Blade couldn’t sleep, he lay in bed breathing slowly thinking about what happened…he was so concentrated on fulfilling the promise to ensure you could protect yourself that he forgot he also promised to make you happy. He knew he’d have a long way to go if he wanted to do that but…he’ll start.

The next morning comes along, and although Blade didn’t get as much sleep as he probably should’ve. He was thinking of ways to try and get your forgiveness.

Slowly he got off his bed and made his way to your room, he’ll check on you first. Hopefully you’ll be okay with listening to him.

He knocked once, twice, three times on the door. No response, the only thing was silence. He tried again.

And again.

And…again…

Each round of knocking grew louder and desperate as time went on. The same aching feeling he had in his heart when he realised his old love wasn’t responding…now it was his kid that wasn’t.

But they were just mad at him right?...That’s gotta be it.

“...I’m coming in”

He spoke, slowly opening the door to an empty room, he opened the door wider and looked around. Where were you? You’re hiding right? You gotta be hiding. He looked around.

“...[Name]...come out…this isn’t funny”

He spoke, looking around the room, hoping you’d jump out at him.

“If this is payback for what…happened…then I deserve it, but please come out”

He tried again. His eyes looked everywhere in the room, until it caught on something shining in the sunlight. He walked over, it was your mothers late pendant. His hand slowly reached for it, his thumb slowly running over the gem in the middle. He paused for a bit before clutching onto it. Making his way out of the room in silence.

Perhaps he was dumb to think you’d stick around after what happened and how he treated you. How he’d only really converse or hang out with you if it was training.

But he had hoped he would be able to fix it before you grew resentful of him…perhaps he was dumb on that part too. Somehow seeing the pendant in the empty room made him realise that not only did he lose his love, but also you. It made him finally accept that you ran away from home...from him.

And not only that, he couldn’t fulfil a part of the promise he made.

To make you have a happy life.

My friend who I asked to read through it said it was giving Endeavour vibes and I have no idea how to feel about that...maybe that's part of the reason why I don't like this fic...

[posionhaze]

Could you do a gale hawthorne x reader where they are dating and she takes the belt beating for him and he tries to help her heal after?

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scars

❥ summary: above ^^

pairing: gale hawthorne x reader

warnings: mentions of blood, needles, scars, whipping/torture (?)

genre: angst | fluff

❥ words: 1k

notes: I’m not sure if this is the greatest but I hope you enjoy :)

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You couldn’t believe it when it happened- peacekeepers everywhere destroying anything and everything.

You had ran to the circle of people after your friend told you Gale was being whipped- or was about to.

“Stop! No- stop!” You shout, running towards the peacekeeper who had Gale. “Don’t- don’t hurt him!”

“Please- just- just hurt me instead..”

Gale’s eyes widen in fear, his head immediately jolting up to look at you. What were you doing? He didn’t want you to get hurt.

“No- Y/n, please- don’t..” Gale says, being roughly shoved to the ground as the peacekeeper grabs you. “Sweetheart no- I can’t let you..”

You can feel your top being forcefully removed from your body, your pushed down onto your knees- hands tied around the pole.

And before you knew it you could feel the sting and pain from the whip on your bare skin.

Gale watched in horror as your back turned into a bloody mess, scars would be left no doubt.

Peacekeepers held him by his arms- forcing him to watch the scene in front of him.

Silent tears slipped down his face, eyes widened with pain and anger.

Before long the peacekeeper had stepped away from you, Gale immediately rushing over to untie you. He removed his shirt and covered your chest, holding you close as he sat by you on the ground.

“I am so sorry, sweetheart….” He whispered out, tears dropping onto your skin. “I never, ever wanted this to happen….”

“I need- I need to lay down..” You weakly muttered out, eyes heavy with pain and exhaustion.

You could feel Gale help you to your feet- carrying and guiding you back to Victors Village to be taken care of by Prim and her mom.

“Will she be alright?” You hear a muffled voice of Katniss say.

“She’ll be okay..she’s just exhausted and needs rest..” Another voice says, you couldn’t tell who it was that time.

You were too tired, despite the medicine and snow, everything still hurt- still burned.

Sounds and feelings were muffled, you were too tired to process much of anything, you could only focus on Gales hand intertwined with yours.

Gale sat by your side for hours, not uttering a singular word.

What was he supposed to say? He caused this. It was his fault for even trying anything with the peacekeepers.

He watched over you, gently cleaning your wounds and giving you medicine..but other than that, he was silent.

He couldn’t believe how much you have sacrificed for him, why did you even love him enough to do that?

“Need- need more snow..” You mutter out, those were the first words you had said in hours, “Please Gale..”

He carefully grabbed the bowl of snow next to you, gently placing a handful on your wounds.

“Does it hurt a lot, love?” He asked, gently wiping away some dried blood. “Do you need more?”

“No..thank you..” You mumble out, turning your head so you could look up at him.

“You’re an absolute idiot, you know that?” He said with a chuckle, running a gentle hand down your cheek.

“You should’ve just let me take the whipping. I could’ve dealt with it, but I don’t think I can deal with you getting hurt on me..” He murmured out.

“Yeah but I’m okay now..” You say with a small smile, “You have your family to take care of..”

“And you’re not a part of that family?” He asked with a frown, running his thumb against the side of your cheek.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re as much my responsibility as Vick or Rory. Besides…if the roles were reversed, I’d do the same you had done.”

You let his words soak in, taking a moment to respond, “Yeah I guess that is true..”

“Of course it is, sweetheart.” Gale said with a soft smile, leaning in to gently kiss your forehead.

“Now, rest up. The medicine has kicked in, so please…get some rest. I’m staying here with you, though. No way am I going anywhere.”

“Alright..” You mutter out, eyes fluttering shut as you drift off to sleep.

He stayed by your side for hours. Gale had helped you drink some water, and checked in to change any blood soaked cloths.

He hated the sight he saw.

He hated the angry red lines littering your back.

When you had finally woken up, he was still by your side. He didn’t move, or wasn’t moving from your bedside.

“Feeling any better, love?” He gently asked, gently taking a hold of your hand and intertwining your fingers.

“Not really..” You mutter out, your back still felt as if it was on fire- the pain medicine must have worn off.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart…” Gale said softly, gently kissing the back of your hand.

“Do you need more medicine to wear off the pain? I can go ask Prim for more.”

“Please..” You whisper out, barely audible.

He nodded, gently releasing your hand and standing up before quietly slipping away and leaving the room.

Moments later, he returned with Prim- who had a syringe with medicine.

You could feel the needle poke into your back, then the liquid moving throughout the muscle.

“It should start working in a few minutes, love.” Gale whispered out, carefully sitting down on the edge of your bed and taking your hand.

He kissed your knuckles, looking up at your face. “I’m so sorry again. This was my fault…all of it.”

“No it isn’t..” You mutter out, growing tired once more, “It’s not your fault.”

“I wish I could believe that, sweetheart…” He whispered out, running his thumb over the back of your hand.

“You got hurt because of me. Because I was stupid and was hunting…I shouldn’t have. I should’ve known there would be peacekeepers around…”

“It’s fine Gale..” You say softly, “It’ll just leave some scars”

“Those scars should’ve been on me…not on you…” He muttered out, gently stroking his knuckles down your cheek.

His words pull at your heart, something you had never felt before.

Why would he ever think that?

He hated the sight he was seeing. His eyes continuously followed the different lines of your body.

Everywhere he looked he was met, once again, with a fresh bloody red scar.

But the scars would fade, right?

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❥ notes: sorry if this wasn’t great or accurate!! please leave any comments or suggestions!! I do take requests :))

I’ll be getting to work on my Finnick series soon! so check that out!! 🫶

[a-polite-melody]

Doctors really do need to learn to actually listen to what their patients are saying instead of making assumptions.

I was reading through the notes on this post [x] and so much of people’s complaints boil down to doctors not actually listening to the patient about the pain they’re in or the things the patient can speak to by living in their body.

And like. I have a story which shows just how much doctors do not like to listen to what you’re saying and just assume what you’re saying which broadens the scope of the problem from just their diagnostics to and overall thing.

When I broke my ankle in 2018 both bones in the ankle broke, which meant I needed surgery to put a plate and pins in to stabilize the break.

I was scheduled in for surgery on a day, and I had to fast from dinner the night before. They had me come in at some point, but then sent me home in the evening because they ended up not having time for my surgery that day because of other things coming up and whatnot. This happens sometimes. It’s unfortunate, but it happens.

When they told me to go home, they said I could have a small meal, but then to fast again, and I’d be called in the next day. And so I did.

The next day the same thing happens: I come in on an empty stomach, and then in the evening I’m sent home because they did not have time for my surgery that day.

At this point I am suffering from not just the stress of being unable to walk or get around by myself, but extreme hunger because of two days of fasting. Because I know I’m a fat woman-looking person, I have my dad be the one to ask the doctor any questions which could get brushed off, and so I express to my dad when the doctor is out of the room that I can’t fast another day like this with no surgery—that either tomorrow needs to be the surgery day or that I need to be able to eat normally for a few days and we try again another time and hope it takes less than three days of fasting to get the surgery done.

When the doctor comes back in, my dad expresses to the doctor for me that I am absolutely starving from the fasting and that it is impacting my mental health at this point. My dad then asks how much longer it could take before the surgery is actually completed?

The doctor responds, “oh, we can wait for weeks to do this surgery.”

I burst into tears, because, with the context of my father explaining that the issue is that I’m too hungry to continue before having asked how many more days this might take, the doctor answering that it could take weeks meant that they would be trying to force me to keep fasting for weeks until they could do the surgery.

The doctor seemed puzzled and asked me what was wrong, and said that it would be fine to leave it that long, that it’s not dangerous for fixation surgery to take that long before it’s done and that it won’t mean my ankle is any worse off.

I damn near scream, “but I’m going to have to eat no more than one small meal a day potentially FOR WEEKS until you finally get around to me on your list!?”

And then the doctor is like, “oh! No! Of course not! I just thought you were worried about it healing wrong with how long it was taking to operate! No, we can give you a day off of fasting and coming in, no problem!”

I desperately wanted to put my fist through his face.

Like. A doctor can be told the exact problem that someone has, but they’re so wrapped up in what patients are ~always complaining about to no end and it’s so annoying to deal with problem patients~ that they don’t fucking pay a lick of attention to anything, hone in on a key word, and decide from there what the “real” complaint is.

[luminouslotuses]

i didn’t see this anywhere here so i figured i’d give a transcript of a portion of the beginning of shubble’s recent stream (apologies for not getting the entire thing but if you want to hear it yourself this is the video i watched);

shubble:

and if you think all of our mutual friends who knew us both intimately in private are supporting me blindly, you aren’t being honest. um, i don’t know how you wouldn’t assume people we spent every day with wouldn’t know more than you about this situation. you are not entitled to everything that everybody knows, not everybody is ready to share their stories and experiences, but they have all asked you to support me and that is not blind. what is blind is pretending that all they have to go off of is my word alone. let’s not ignore the boys who said themselves that they have witnessed him manipulate them and their friends; all of which who were eighteen at the time, by the way.

i am not the only one. give them time before you start calling me a lying whore, perhaps. um, i didn’t coordinate this because i didn’t know how many more people had experiences to share. i actually didn’t know biting was something that had happened before me until after i spoke about it, i didn’t know. um, that’s why i needed to do it. i’m sorry that everything couldn’t conveniently come out all at the same time, um… everyone who knew us both mutually have come together in solidarity and asked you to support me, and i am asking you to listen to all of them, too. it’s not just me. continuing to pretend that it is isn’t helpful.

um… and if all of that isn’t enough for you, then you’re just going to have to not believe me. and i didn’t expect everyone to. that doesn’t mean i owe anything to every person who calls me a liar, um– but if you are mad that more people are believing me and you don’t agree, that sounds like a you problem. they have made up their minds themselves just as you have, and i am not trying to change your mind.

what i endured was so much more than just slobbishness and disrespect, it’s offensive to downplay it that much. and in my opinion, the most obvious thing to me is that the apology is not genuine at all. if it was, i would have been referred to by name. simply. i believe at bare minimum a requirement for a sincere apology is to say the name of who you are speaking to. um, i think by not saying my name, that can only be done out of disrespect, that’s what i believe. to me it completely contradicts any claim to have changed. and i proved on steam that he’s lied. even if just that one time, i felt that was a big deal.

um, shubble support squad– you have been my rock through all of this. i am trying to do the right thing, um, and i do believe so deeply that this needed to happen to protect people. um– i’m only sorry that i couldn’t protect everyone else, because– there were more people hurt after me. um, and i am sickened– by what he did. i truly believe my soul is healed beyond him but unfortunately, my mind and my body are not, and that will take more time. your brain chemistry changes when you live through something like this. um, and– i’m going to try to play minecraft, and pretend my life has peace for a moment, um, because it won’t. for a while.

um– but it will. and i’m gonna try to find my way to happiness, and if you don’t like the way that that looks, then i’m sorry. um, i’m just going to have to disappoint you. i have to put my mental health first.

[campbell-rose]

Helluva Fucking Rant: S2 E6 

OKay I’m a big fat liar and my pants are burning my ass rn, I know I said I’d do Rwby designs next but then the whole leaked episode drama happened and now it’s out and I need to complain. 

*Off the bat, I’m not going to talk pacing mainly because I have little experience with dealing with pacing (having never written anything more than comic strips lol). The episode didn’t feel too fast but anyway 

I’m going to organize this based on gripes I have per character. 

Fizzarolli: He is my baby. He's like kind of babygirl if that makes any sense. “Maybe I could burn the milk this time” 

I adore Fizz as a character. He’s not babified or infantilized like a lot of Viv’s other gay men. So far. Who knows, the writers have proven how adept they are at contradicting and retconning characters. But uhhhh what the fuck was he doing in Greed? Am I stupid? Like, it’s never spelled out. Is it for pr? Is it a deal with Mammon type thing? Is he promoting something? If he had somewhere to be why did he let his dogs run him all over creation??? Like, bit of an issue there as it’s only vaguely mentioned that he was practicing something. 

His backstory is like... acceptable I suppose. Not what I was expecting. I was expecting like, what we got, and a combination of some other theories I had personally. See, my issue is the fire and how imps have been shown in previous episodes to be, ya know, IMMUNE TO FIRE. Imagine if, and bear with me here huge stretch I know, imps are immune to fire and hellfire – but not holy fire. Like, shit straight from the angel’s burning halo type fire. That would make sense, since hellfire is a thing in pop culture and biblically accurate angels are all gold and flames! 

I do like the idea that fizz’s entire body is white from scars, however I think his scars need texture for the idea to sell. Maybe in full costume it’s covered with makeup, but come on people he was lit on fire, you ever seen a healed burn? Fizz being scared of the flames legit made me sad, I love him so much. However they’re trying to show he’s got like ptsd (maybe not exactly but still) from it, but it feels inconsistent to me for some reason. On a final note, he never should’ve forgiven Blitzo in any way, shape or form tbh, I would’ve preferred what Barbie did just straight up, I don’t like you, I can’t forgive you please leave me alone.  

Asmodeus: This cemented for me how much I fucking hate his design. His stupid head is so tiny and his body is built like a brick shithouse like, it’s so unbalanced and weird looking. I like his character here I suppose. No noticeable inconsistencies from his first appearance. His va is killing it tbh, love him so much what a king. 

I’m fine with his character, what I’m not fine with is the weird consent angle their going with. Like... he is the SIN of LUST??? Valentino is more of what I’d expect as the sin of Lust compared to Asmodeus. Also, the WEAKEST and most NON THREATENING SIN??? KESHADOG IS RIGHT THERE 

Crimson: He should’ve been hired by Mammon to get back at Asmodeus. Maybe Asmodeus has an unpaid debt with Mammon and has been shirking him so Mammon is like ‘i have your fucktoy now, give me my money or you won’t get him back’ 

Like his little video chat could’ve been context, like “You don’t know me, but you may know my employer – Mammon?” 

The paperwork would make sense then, Mammon is sending over contracts and bullshit Asmodeus has to sign. The importance of reading the fine print would be even more present because Asmodeus is dealing with someone on his level who can actually fuck him up, not some nobody imp he could kill with a glance! Crimson’s motive could be that Mammon offered him a share of Ozzie’s stock and would let him run some shit because Crimson has become a prominent member of higher society despite being an imp, which is the only reason Striker is partnered with him. 

Striker: Striker baby doll, please just fucking kill Fizz. Like, stop fucking standing there, kill the fucker. Omg I was so annoyed with his lack of action this episode. Both Fizz and Striker are incredible agile and snake like characters, this whole distraction song should’ve been a mix of striker trying to kill Fizz/Fizz avoiding him and Crim’s gang being just flabbergasted by the bullshit they’re witnessing. It’s been shown before that Crimson ony ever sits on the sidelines while his goons get killed so like????  

Anyway, Viv can try as hard as she wants to paint Striker as in the wrong and a bigot, but it won’t work on me. He’s completely in the right because imps are literally the slave/working class in this caste system. Fizz is (to imps in the slums and less fortunate) probably the epitome of a pampered lapdog plaything of the upper class. ANd that could’ve been something interesting to explore. Why not show the perspective of other imps that think like Striker, maybe have them be antagonistic to Fizz because he’s Asmodeus and Mammon’s pet, or maybe Fizz finds out that’s what people think of him and he’s horrified and that’s why he’s mad Blitzo calls him a whore. But no, because Striker is an evil bigot who sides with the evil woman Stella so nobody else thinks like he does. 

Also, his new va has the sexiest voice i've heard since live action Buggy or sub Crocodile so I'm not complaining about him taking up screen time

Him all disheveled is straight up working for me

Blitzo: Once again he gets away with being shitty and stupid and awful because he’s a woobie. Why the fuck was the crux of their hatred based on a birthday cake and the miscommunication trope??? I hate this so much.  

Was Blitzo in love with Fizz? Is that what that blink and you’ll miss it letter was? I’m getting very tired of this show having blink and you’ll miss it plot beats. That isn’t showing not telling, it’s like sweeping shit under a rug. Its like they think just because it was on screen for a frame the audience will catch it and be like ‘omg it happened’ or feel smart for catching something. Stolitz making up through text shouldn’t be a pause the video and read moment for fuckssake. 

I’m finding it very ahrd to tolerate Blitzo. On the topic of him though, I saw the leaked episode. WHY was Barbie taken out of the final flashback???

What the actual fuck???? Like... once again the women in this show are just shoved away and forgotten this is like Naruto level female character writing guys. Naruto had one good female character and she was still sidelined half the damn time. 

Also i fucking hate how this show can't be serious for more than five seconds like when Fizz and Blitzo hug and Blitzo is like 'haha wanna make out' i hate this but it isn't as egregious as having dildos during an abuse scene

Conclusion: Animation was amazing (also one of my fav animators KittenSneeze is an animator for Spindlehorse now like i love them so good for them), plot was whatever, characters are where the story falls, this won and I can’t anymore. 

Actually no, not conclusion. You know what really makes me hate Helluva Boss? It isn’t fair. I know that sounds childish and stupid, but who cares I’m childish and I’m stupid. Why is it that someone like Viv, who consistently doesn’t take criticism and is just a shit person all around gets rewarded for doing dogshit all the time. Yeah it’s a bit step for indie animation or whatever but she literally has Alex Brightman in her fucking pocket I don’t wanna hear it. Lackadaisy has earned it’s time in the goddamn spotlight, not Viv and her stupid creations. It’s so unfair. She got popular off of happenstance for her kesha sparkledogs and now she’s off bastardizing demonology and writing borderline backwards gay and female characters and she’s getting praised as the patron saint of queer rep and indie animation. Like, she doesn’t deserve it. Genuinely. I wish I could just post my demon story and people would just flock to it like flies to shit and shower me in praise and protect me from any criticism. But that’s not how real life works, but for some reason it is for Viv. Its just... I hate it. 

Anyway, baby rant over. This episode was like 7/10 tbh. It wasn't amazing but for Helluva Boss it was good. Sarcastic Chorus made a video about it that I'm gonna watch because honestly his takes could convince me this show is on Arcane's level lmao. Bye bye <3 

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Pomegranate Ink: XIV

Series Synopsis: Unable to heal but willing to fight, with a fiancé in Kyoto and a last name that looms over everything you do, you accept an offer to study at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. What you did not know was that your salvation and your ruination alike would soon join you at the school, neatly wrapped in the form of a boy followed by death.

Chapter Synopsis: The beginning of the new school year leads to reunions with some familiar faces.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu × Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.1k

Content Warnings: angst, misogyny, naoya zenin, forbidden relationships, canon-typical violence, character death, original characters included

A/N: uhh rare pomegranate ink update ig

“You really don’t have to do this,” Yuta said, staring at the envelope in your hands so intensely you wondered if he thought he could burn it with his glare.

“How am I supposed to reach grade one status if I never go on any supervised missions? It’ll be fine. I doubt the higher ups or Gojo would let me be with someone as dumb and useless as Naoya, and worst comes to worst, there’s always Tullia Ex Machina,” you said, referring to how Tullia had drank your poisoned blood so that you could survive the attack from the cursed spirit you and Naoya had had to fight during your last supervised mission.

“Don’t rely on that!” Yuta said.

“I was just kidding. But, really, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” you said, patting him on the shoulder and then tearing the envelope open. You were surprised that the mission directions had come by mail instead of digitally, as they usually did, but maybe whoever you were reporting to was old fashioned.

“Who’s taking you?” he said. You actually gagged aloud as you read over the letter.

“Fucking Principal Gakuganji!” you said. Yuta made a similar face to yours.

“I’m sorry to hear it,” he said. The principal of the Kyoto school was nothing like Principal Yaga; in fact, Principal Gakuganji had been one of the ones pushing the hardest for Yuta’s execution, back when he still had Rika. You knew him very well as the representation of everything you hated about jujutsu society and the higher ups, and as you were trying to break free from that whole scene, it was all in all not the greatest match up.

“Whatever, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it,” you said. “Would you say this is better or worse than Naoya?”

“Hm, probably better, if only because Gakuganji respects the hierarchies of jujutsu society at least a bit. He probably won’t let you get hurt, because the Kamos and your own family would be furious. Naoya’s a Zenin, so he was at least able to get away with a little bit due to his family’s protection, but Gakuganji can’t claim the same. That said, both are annoying. Why don’t they just let you go with Principal Yaga or Gojo?” Yuta said.

“I actually don’t know,” you said. “I mean, Nanami and Kaito aren’t allowed to supervise me because they’re the ones that gave my recommendation, but there’s no reason why Gojo or Principal Yaga couldn’t. Even Kusakabe, who’s now our direct teacher, can technically take me along with him if he wants. Those three just aren’t able to recommend me for promotion, but since I’ve already gotten the recommendation…”

“Weird,” Yuta said. “I can ask them about it while you’re gone.”

“I’d appreciate it if you would, thanks,” you said. “Knowing my luck, it’s probably some political nonsense blocking them.”

“When will those dumb old men leave you alone?” Yuta sighed.

“Probably never,” you said. “It’s sad, but as long as I have the capability to heal others, they won’t let me go. I’m too valuable to their cause, and because my family is so entrenched in their power structure, they think I’ll eventually fold and join them.”

Something uncomfortable arose on Yuta’s face. “By the way, speaking of such things…”

“Hm? Is something the matter?” you said. He began to fiddle with the two rings on his finger, a nervous habit he had picked up in recent times.

“Y/N,” he said, and then suddenly he was gripping your hand so tightly it was a wonder it did not break. “If I had to go somewhere far away, would you break up with me?”

“Huh? Why are you asking me that?” you said, taken aback. “That’s not really related to what we were talking about earlier at all.”

“Just answer. Please,” he said.

“No, I don’t think so. I mean, if you went somewhere far away and stopped talking to me entirely, I guess it would happen naturally…but I would miss you very dearly, and I would not find a new man until I knew for certain that you did not want me anymore,” you said.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s a relief.”

“Is there a reason you’re asking me that, or are we just at the point in our relationship that we ask each other weird questions? Because if so, I have to know: would you still love me if I was a worm?” you said.

“Obviously,” he said. “And no, it’s not hypothetical. Gojo wants to send me to Africa.”

You paused, tilting your head so that you could really look at him and discern whether he was telling the truth or not. His expression was carefully neutral, only barely hinting at the despair broiling beneath the surface, and he was such a bad liar that you knew this was not a falsehood.

“Africa’s a big continent,” you said. “Did he specify a country? At least a region?”

“No,” Yuta said.

“He wouldn’t,” you said with a sigh. “How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t know. I’m supposed to train with some sorcerer contact he has in the area, don’t ask me which area, I don’t know, and I guess it’s until that sorcerer thinks I’ve learned all I can from him,” he said.

“I see,” you said. “And you’re worried I’ll find someone new while you’re in some as-of-yet-unknown-African country?”

“A little bit,” he admitted.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” you said with a frown.

“It’s not that I think you would, it’s just…I am afraid,” he said.

“You shouldn’t be,” you said. He gave you one of his looks, those wounded-deer ones that made you want to hold him tightly and tell him it would be alright, but since you had no idea when you would be interrupted by someone or another, you settled for squeezing his hand. “Really, Yuta, I’m being honest. I know you’re scared, but distance is the easiest opponent we’ve had to face by far. What is an ocean to Suguru Geto?”

He let out a surprised yet delighted laugh. “Well! I’d say it’s something.”

“But not more than we can face. We can video call every day, and you can tell me all about how much you’re learning and all of the sunshine you’re enjoying,” you said, using your other hand to poke him in the ribs. “You worry too much. It will be fun! Think of it positively.”

“What will you do while I’m away?” he said, though he was not nearly as morose anymore.

“I’ll train,” you said. “Exorcise curses. Spar with Maki. Complain about the higher ups. Get enough supervised missions in so that I can become an official grade 1 sorcerer.”

“Do you think I should go?” he said.

“Of course I think you should go. I will miss you, but you can’t pass up an opportunity like this,” you said. “Maybe I’ll be a grade 1 by the time we meet again!”

“I bet you will be,” he said. “You’re the coolest sorcerer ever.”

“Well, if that’s the case, then I probably shouldn’t keep Principal Gakuganji waiting for too long. There’s no sense in making him cranky — I doubt he’s pleased with my promotion as it is,” you said.

“Good luck,” he said, glancing at the door and then leaning over to press a kiss to your cheek. “Don’t let him bully you.”

“Of course not,” you said. “And you should get to packing. You don’t want to forget stuff, and I’m sure if you know about the trip, it means you have to go soon. Gojo…is not the type to give advance warning for just about anything.”

“You’re right,” Yuta said with a sour face. “See you later.”

“See you!” you said, humming to yourself as you headed towards the meet-up spot Principal Gakuganji had indicated in the letter. You still thought it was a little ridiculous that he insisted on communicating via letter for something so important, but you supposed it was just one of those idiosyncrasies that old people tended to have.

“Y/N L/N,” Principal Gakuganji said in that wheezing voice of his that you so detested. You fought back a frown, wishing that for once you could have someone supervising you that you actually liked, or at the least tolerated.

“Principal Gakuganji,” you said. He motioned for you to follow him, which you did your best to do without completely overtaking him. As expected, he moved at a sedate pace, and you had to purposefully shorten your stride so that he could keep up, which you would’ve rolled your eyes at if you hadn’t already made an enemy of your first supervisor.

“You’ve given that young man Naoya a lot of trouble,” he said.

“He’s the one who’s given me trouble!” you snapped. “I almost died because of him! I would’ve died, if it weren’t for Tullia. How can you say that I’m the troublesome one?”

“We both know he wouldn’t have let you actually die. Here you are, perfectly fine and going on your second mission, and his entire future’s been ruined. After all, he’s been suspended, and even once the suspension’s complete, it’ll take a while for him to regain people’s respect,” Principal Gakuganji said.

“He doesn’t deserve respect. He knowingly put a young sorcerer at risk, and for what? Personal amusement? He should be expelled from jujutsu society, if you ask me. Why is it that it would be a greater crime for me to cheat on Noritoshi than for Naoya to try and kill me?” you said as you entered the mission site and Principal Gakuganji put down a veil. It was a small school, reminiscent of the one where you had met Yuta, and the reminder only made you feel even more irritated with the principal and with the situation at large. How dare he demand that you feel sympathy for Naoya? It ought to be the other way around.

“You are weak,” Principal Gakuganji said. “You have relatively little to offer jujutsu society. That is to say, you are expendable — besides your massive aptitude for healing, which you refuse to tap into. It’s strange, you know, that you are so mediocre at fighting yet you insist on contributing in that way instead of giving in to your natural place in society. Then, to add insult to injury, you have taken one of the actually talented sorcerers out of commission in your desperate attempt to prove yourself. In truth, Miss L/N, I believe you should quit now before you get someone else killed. Maybe you don’t care about Naoya, or about me, but what about your precious friends? What if your incompetence leads to one of their deaths? That special-grade freak boy. The American girl. The panda or the Inumaki heir. What about Maki Zenin? If it was her who died, would you care?”

“Dissection,” you said coldly, hurling the needle towards Principal Gakuganji. His eyes widened, but it flew harmlessly above him and into the heart of the curse which had arisen behind him. The curse exploded, and the veil shattered as the being it had been made to contain was exorcised. “Principal Gakuganji, you should pay more attention to your surroundings. Have you been checked for dementia recently? Perhaps you should be. After all, anyone in their right mind would know that I was promoted for a reason.”

“Miss L/N!” Principal Gakuganji said. “You would do well to revere your elders.”

“And you would do well to know not to talk about them like that. I don’t want to hear it,” you said. “The next time you mention my friends — the next time you even dare to say Maki’s name — I will aim my needle a little lower, and I will not miss.” You turned to leave before pausing and looking back at him, bowing slightly. “Thank you for accompanying me on this mission. I am sure that my act of saving your life and exorcising the curse alone will be enough to earn your recommendation, and I look forward to serving alongside you as a grade one sorcerer one day.”

That summer was busy. Yuta left, but it was such a non-event that you almost did not comprehend it. You wanted to miss him, but you did not have the time to, not when the higher-ups were working you to the bone in an attempt to delay your promotion. The same was happening to Todo — you both were far too young to be traditionally considered Grade 1 sorcerers, so they were doing everything they could to stop you from advancing in the ranks before you promised to be compliant.

But compliance was not in Todo’s nature, and it was no longer the cloak you wished to don. Whether by luck or skill or particularly understanding mentors, you and Todo continued to grow closer and closer to that one final goal of yours, the one where you finally joined the upper echelons of jujutsu society. Recommendation after recommendation, they began to stack up, and it became something like a game for those inclined to betting. Who would be promoted first? You or him?

Maybe that was why you were called together to jujutsu headquarters, a joke by the higher ups, just another attempt in their long history at pissing sorcerers off. Or maybe it was like a kind of poetry, that you had been recommended together and thus would be promoted together. Either way, two weeks before the term began, you and Todo became official first grade sorcerers, making you the youngest in recent history.

“It seems our competition has come to a close,” Todo said as you walked together, you casually sipping on the drink he had bought for you.

“I guess that’s true,” you said.

“There’s no goal for us anymore. What do we do with ourselves? I don’t want our rivalry to end!” he said. You tossed your empty cup in the trash can and frowned when you saw he was furiously wiping away tears.

“Aw, Todo, there’s always goals. Just because we’re Grade 1 sorcerers doesn’t mean we’re at our peaks yet, which means we still have a long way to go before we can put our rivalry to rest,” you said. He burst into sobs, so you reached up and hugged him, patting his back.

“Y/N, I am so proud to — to call a woman like you my counterpart!” he wailed, picking you up and holding you tightly.

“I’m proud to call you my counterpart, too,” you said, unfortunately well-used to his antics by now and even more well-used to the strange looks you always garnered from passersby.

Todo was a little strange, but at the end of the day, he was the kind of person you knew you could rely on. You had learned very quickly that such people were few and far in between, and so you had resolved to cling on to him with all of your might. For his part, he was delighted to have someone who entertained his antics, so he was fiercely loyal to you, and his affection was only outweighed by his zeal in trying to defeat you.

“How has Okkotsu been, anyways?” he said. You smiled slightly.

“He’s been very good,” you said. Todo elbowed you in the side; coming from him, it all but bowled you over, or at least it would’ve if you hadn’t expected it and braced yourself for the impact.

“He’ll be back to compete in the exchange event, won’t he? I need to redeem myself for last year,” he said.

“You don’t want to redeem yourself for your loss against me?” you said. He grinned.

“Of course I’ll do that as well, but since you’re my rival, it only makes sense that you’ll beat me every now and then. There’s no shame in losing to you,” he said.

“There’s not really any shame in losing to Yuta, either, I mean he is a special grade sorcerer,” you said. Todo shook his head.

“That’s exactly it. If I can defeat him, then I will truly have proven myself in a way that no one can argue with,” he said.

“I think you’re out of luck, unfortunately,” you said. “He’s not going to be back for a while, I’m afraid.”

“Make him return. Use your special love powers or something to bring him back!” Todo said. You gave him a dull look and wished Yuta had never named you as his type of woman back during the last exchange event. Recently, Todo had figured out that it was not just that you were Yuta’s type but that you were actually together, and ever since then, he had been relentless in teasing you about it.

“I don’t have special love powers, so you’re just going to have to be content with fighting me and the rest of the first and second years,” you said.

“Not even the third years?” Todo said, aghast. You shook your head.

“Nope, they were all suspended, remember? I have no idea what they’re up to now, but whatever it is, they won’t be at the event,” you said. “That’s why we’re going to have to drag the first years into it. Whoever they are.”

“You’re going to be at such a disadvantage,” Todo said with a disapproving scowl. “Fighting with people you barely know! Normally, you get at least a year to become acquainted with your classmates and team members, so you understand their strengths and weaknesses intimately, but this year, you’ll be fighting with first years! Not only will you not know their skills, they themselves won’t!”

“It worked well enough for Yuta and I last year,” you said. “Don’t forget that a couple of first years beat you back then.”

“Yeah, true,” Todo said, and then he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “But I’m sure the two of you knew each other more than intimately by that point.”

“Shut up,” you muttered, smacking his bicep, which had all the effect of slapping a rock wall in that it probably hurt you more than it hurt him. “That’s not true. We were just the better team then, and we’ll be the better team again this year. Even without Yuta, you all are going to have to contend with Maki.”

“Maki Zenin?” Todo said. “I’m told she’s a weakling.”

“Whoever told you that was wrong,” you said, though without the typical anger you felt when people spoke about Maki in that way. Todo was, if anything, a fair man, and you knew he wouldn’t make such assumptions about Maki if he actually knew her. He could only parrot what he had heard until this point, and it wasn’t his fault that the only people in Kyoto who knew about her hated her.

“I’ll take your word for it,” he said. “And I will be prepared to fight this woman that you think so highly of.”

“As if you’ll get a chance,” you said with a grin. “Remember, I’ll be there, too. Who cares about the rest of the participants? They’ll duke it out as they do every year. The fight to watch, the fight that’ll determine the match — that’ll be ours.”

Todo nodded. “True. It’s been far too long since we’ve faced off. The thought of our next battle will carry me through the days until we meet again.”

“We can still meet, idiot,” you said, rolling your eyes affectionately. “I expect you to visit when you can and buy me dinner.”

“My, my,” Todo said. “Demanding!”

“It’s the price you pay for having lost to me at the exchange event. If you win the next one, I’ll pay for you for the rest of the year,” you said, offering him your hand. He took it and shook it firmly.

“Very well! And if you win again, things will continue as they have?” he said, referring to your habit of making him buy you something every time the two of you hung out.

“It sounds like a deal to me,” you said.

“Then to me as well,” he said.

“Since we just made that deal, I would like for you to know that I’m hungry,” you said.

“I just bought you a drink!” Todo said. You batted your eyelashes.

“It’s the price which a loser must pay,” you said.

“Fine,” he grumbled out. “But only because I’m hungry, too.”

“Yay!” you cheered.

“I’m going to drain your bank account once you lose the next event, by the way!”

“As if I’d ever lose to you!”

Returning to the school after the summer break was more like coming home than leaving it in the first place had ever been. The instant you saw your room, still exactly the same as it had been when you had last shut the door on it, you almost burst into tears. Tossing the curtains open, you closed your eyes, allowing the sunshine to warm your skin, the pleasant scent of the candles you always lit filling your nose again for the first time in a while.

“Someone’s happy to be back,” a familiar voice said. You opened your eyes and spun on your heel, beaming when you saw who it was.

“Tullia!” you said, racing over and throwing your arms around her, an embrace which she reciprocated just as tightly. Shortly after the entire debacle with Naoya and Elakshi, Tullia had gone back to America to spend time with her family. She had only flown back into Tokyo yesterday, so this was your first time seeing her since her departure, and a knot in your stomach that you had not even known existed unraveled at the reunion.

“Hey, Y/N,” she said. “I saw you walk into your room, but I wanted to give you a minute to settle in before I stopped by. Maki and the others just went to eat, but I told them I’d wait for you.”

“Thanks,” you said. “Should we go meet up with them, then?”

“Sounds good to me,” she said.

“So, how was your summer, Miss Beach Body?” you said. She grinned, subconsciously running a hand through hair highlighted by the sun’s rays and the salt of the ocean.

“It was great,” she said. “I just spent the entire time relaxing. You’d be jealous of the amount of books I read while lying in the sand.”

“I’m quite sure I would be,” you said with a frown, thinking back to the utter lack of relaxation you had had this summer before internally shrugging. Next summer, you would take time off for sure. And by then Yuta would be back — maybe you both could go on a vacation together.

“At least you’re finally a grade 1 sorcerer!” she said. “That’s so official sounding. I can’t believe one of my best friends is a grade 1 sorcerer.”

“And one of the others is a semi-grade 1,” you said. Tullia’s face lit up.

“Toge! I forgot about that! I’ll have to congratulate him on the promotion,” she said. “That’s so awesome. Maybe he’ll be official, soon, too.”

“It’s likely,” you said. “He’s a really talented sorcerer.”

The corners of her lips curved up slightly as she stared at the ground. “He is, isn’t he?”

“You aren’t far behind,” you said, making a mental note of the development. “As long as you perform as well at the next exchange event as you did last Christmas, you’ll definitely get enough recommendations to be promoted.”

“You can count on it,” she said, clenching her fist. “You know, I talked a lot with my parents while I was at home. I was so hurt when they made me come here, but now — now I understand why they did it. I’m not so angry at them anymore. I just want to make them proud, and if becoming a first grade sorcerer is how I can prove that I’m not a waste, then that’s what I’ll do.”

“You’re not a waste either way,” you said, wondering how productive her conversation with her parents had actually been, based on what she was saying, “But I’ll support you in whatever you do.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” she said. You paused as you reached the wing of the school where the teachers’ offices were, and then you turned to Tullia.

“Do you mind if I duck in here really quickly?” you said. She let out a laugh, likely knowing exactly what your business was in the part of the school that you rarely visited.

“Not at all. Do you want me to wait?” she said. You shook your head.

“No, go ahead without me,” you said. “You have someone to congratulate, after all.”

Her cheeks turned pink, and she opened her mouth to protest before shutting it again and nodding firmly, giving you a thumbs up.

“I’ll do that,” she said.

“See you soon!” you said, waving at her before turning and heading in the opposite direction, first walking and then running towards the office you knew would have its door slightly ajar, music wafting into the hallway as its owner worked — maybe it would be Taylor Swift, he had really been getting into her the last you had heard.

“You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt! And I got that — Y/N?” Gojo stopped singing and yelped in surprise when you burst into his office, his stack of papers falling to the ground and fluttering about everywhere. You took no heed of them, leaping over the ones that seemed particularly important and crashing into him in excitement.

“Gojo!” you said. “I’m a grade 1 sorcerer now!”

“Yes, you are!” he said, ruffling your hair as you leaned against his chest, cognizant of the fact that he had turned his Infinity off at the last moment to catch you and feeling a burst of affection towards him for the fact. “However, you know I knew that already, right?”

“But this is the first time I’ve gotten to see you in person since it happened,” you explained. “I wanted to tell you myself.”

“Of course,” he said. “I’m very proud of you.”

It was nice to hear that from him. Even though Gojo wasn’t directly your teacher anymore, he was still the man who had helped you become a sorcerer, the one who had rescued you from your destiny as nothing more than Noritoshi’s wife. He was like your older brother, so for him to say that he was proud of you made you feel uncharacteristically pleased.

“It’s been so long since I've seen you last,” you said. “I wish the higher ups wouldn’t always send you and Yuta away so far. It doesn’t seem fair.”

“That’s what happens when you’re the strongest,” he said with a long-suffering sigh, stooping over to gather up the papers he had dropped and pressing the pause button on his phone. “Have the two of you stayed in touch?”

“Yes, naturally,” you said, sitting down in the extra seat across from him. “We talk on the phone almost every day. But it’s not the same. I miss him. It’s nice to be seeing everyone else again, but it also feels wrong, because he should be here too.”

“You’ll get to see him again soon,” Gojo assured him. “He’s not in Africa forever.”

“Speaking of,” you said with a frown. “You know Africa isn’t a monolith, right? There’s, like, so many countries and regions in the continent. Do you even know which one he’s in?”

“Obviously I do. Miguel told me to be as vague as possible when referring to his location, though, to avoid leading curse users to his village,” he said. “That’s why I just say he’s in Africa.”

“Oh, that…actually makes sense,” you allowed. You supposed even Gojo had his intelligent and considerate moments every now and then.

“Thank you,” he said dryly, obviously not at all grateful for your lack of faith in him. Despite this, he slid a cup of tea across his desk, nodding at it before settling back in his own chair, pushing his papers neatly aside and resting his chin in his hands. You picked it up and blew on the surface, the steam billowing away from you until the tea was cool enough for you to take a sip.

“It’s good,” you said when it was obvious that he was waiting for your approval. He smiled slightly.

“That’s good,” he said. “How have you been, Y/N?”

“I've been well enough,” you said. He hummed in thought.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “Still friends with Maki?”

“Maki? Of course I am,” you said. “I’ll always be friends with her.”

He swallowed. “I hope that’s the case.”

“Do you think we won’t be?” you said, put out by his response. To your further chagrin, he did not correct you immediately, mulling your question over for a moment.

“The future is unpredictable,” he said. “That said, I think it will take a lot for the two of you to break apart. I don’t see it happening anytime soon.”

“It won’t happen at all,” you said stubbornly. “Yuta and Maki and Tullia and Toge and Panda and I are going to be friends for the rest of our lives.”

“You’re right,” he said, and then he exhaled heavily. “Ignore me. Sometimes I say things without really meaning them. This is one of those times; I’m just reminiscing, that's all.”

“Alright,” you said. Then, tentatively, you set down your cup and reached out your hands so that you could place them atop his own, half-thinking that he’d keep his Infinity on and you’d be stopped in the process. But he did not. “You always turn your Infinity off for me, don’t you? Why is that?”

“I don’t see you as a threat,” he said. “Maybe it’s not that I turn it off for you but that I turn it on for everything else.”

“I see,” you said. A moment passed before you spoke again. “Do you miss —?”

“No,” he said instantly. “That’s a foolish thing to think, much less say aloud. Why would I?”

“He was your best friend,” you said. “Principal Yaga mentioned it during one of the missions he supervised me on. It’s not foolish to believe you’d miss him. If I lost Maki like that, I’d still miss her.”

“I’m fine,” Gojo said, and then he pulled his hands away from you and stood up. “Enough talking about me. There’s someone I’d like for you to meet.”

“Really?” you said, mirroring his actions and following him out the door. “Who?”

His expression morphed into a devilish grin. “The boy I’ve been telling you about since the day I met you, of course!”

“Oh no,” you said, dread creeping up your spine. “Don’t tell me you’re taking me to meet who I think you’re taking me to meet!”

“I think I am taking you to meet who you think I’m taking you to meet!” he said cheerfully. “That’s right, after all of this time, I’m finally introducing you to Megumi Fushiguro!”

[iforgotwhaticalledthis]

Imposter by Ratwyfe is THE Sophie Foster song

specifically, its book 1-4 sophie. this song was written for her. And heres my line by line analysis:

“So i finally reached heaven but the door was pretty hot” Sophie finds a place where she should be accepted, where she should finally be accepted but she Isn’t  hence heaven i.e a perfect place, and hot door i.e something is still uncomfortable

“And I’m tired of being liked for someone that i'm not” Sophie being the moonlark, having all these people look up to her, have expectations for her, even though she barely knows who she is

“I feel like I’m a poser” Refer to above “I’m scared and I’m alone, I’m in a new place, I’m too far from home” this is especially sophie like RIGHT when she arrived, she has maybe one person who she actually knows before making three other friends( Dex, jensi, marella) she doesn’t know anything she has to relearn everything and AHHH

“I don’t belong here it's clear to see” She has brown eyes, a constant reminder that she’s not like everyone else.

“I’m disappointing everyone who believes in me” Book 2, knowing that she was modified to heal minds, that's her purpose, but she's broken.

“I’m not who you think i am, you think i’m so amazing” I feel like this is in relation to fitz in book 4, he sees her as someone insanely talented, and good, but she feels like such a messy person, with so many secrets

“I don’t deserve the life that I am chasing” Her thinking she’s not good enough for fitz, and also being constantly worried, in book 3, that by the Vackers being friends with her she's bringing down their reputation

“I’m an imposter, i’m a monster. Why am I here? I don’t belong here.” Being a genetic experiment, not knowing the black swans motives, being so different from  everyone both human and elf.

“I feel like nobody likes me and i keep messing up. ” Book 2, fitz anger at her and her reaction, as well as book 3 after kenric died

“It’s obvious to me that everyone has had enough” councilors giving her the restrictor

“I feel like im a nuisance, im a burden, im a pain” Sophie to everyone after losing her abilities, but also like, in her relationship to Edaline and Grady in the first book, and after losing her abilities.

“And its all my fault, im the one to blame” She read king dimitars mind, she broke the rules. But also her guilt towards Dex being hurt because he was with her when she was kidnapped

“Yeah, do i belong here I just can’t see, I’m disappointing everyone who believed in me” Book 4 after she couldn't heal prentice.

“Why am I here? Why am I here?”  Jumping back in time a bit, Book 1, when she didn't realise why she was brought up with humans

“Why do I wallow here in my pity and self doubt” Honestly i feel like this is kinda self explanatory? Like she doubts herself SO much

“And why do i hurt the people i cant live without”  Literally all of her friends/ anyone associated with her getting injured really badly throughout the series

“I try to change, i try to do better, but i dont know if i can keep it all together” ok so this can apply like generally, but i think specifically how she stopped tugging her eyelashes in book 2 but returned to that habit in book 3 and hasnt stopped since(at least  in my memory, i haven’t read the later books in a bit, thats why im mainly citing the first 4)

“I don’t belong here I just don’t fit, But i’d be worse off if i chose to quit” She may be different in the lost cities, but it's better than being different amongst the humans

“It means so much to me that you think im so amazing” i feel like this line fits mainly with her relationship to calla, Calla admired her, trusted her,  etc “I can hardly deal with all the obstacles im facing” self explanatory. Like. Hello??

And the rest of the song is mainly just lines that ive already dissected/discussed so im not going to past them again.

[writingwell]

20 13 fanfic questions

Thanks to @randomfoggytiger for the tag. I didn’t do all of them, just the pertinent ones, and I modified those just to include ffnet as well. 

1. How many works do you have? 26 on AO3 (for my mature rated Spy Castle stuff); fanfiction.net has 278 Castle fics;and about 300ish archived at Gossamer for X-Files.

4. What are your top fics by kudos/reviews? The Return of Vulcan Simmons, Tempest (not a spy work!) on AO3; ffnet would be One Hundred Days of Summer (co-authored with SandianeCarter) and Dash It All.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yeah, I think if you take the time to contact me, you deserve the respect of hearing from me. It might not be a full-blown conversation, but I’ll do what I can with a full-time profession and a writing one as well. Also, suuuuper sorry, just discovered AO3 has an inbox. 300 days ago, some of you messaged me and I am just now seeing those. Lol. 

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I have a spy fic where the two of them are just so at odds, so grieving with and over each other… okay that’s most of them. But I try not to end on angst, as it’s supposed to be the journey not the destination. (Angst is a twisting of the heart, not a place where you stay. According to me.)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Dash series has the ‘happiest’ endings. Not because life is happy, but because they figured out how to create contentment within what they’d been given/dealt in life. And in ways other versions of the Castle characters hadn’t accomplished. They did the work.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Oh definitely. A while back, I turned off comments on tumblr for about a year as I processed and healed from some targeted attacks, and I can say that I came out more certain of myself and my writing. But I was also an adult who had not been forced to weather these attacks as a vulnerable 13 y-o on social media (as so many of you are unfortunately dealing with). I was able to detach, center myself once more, and rise above because I’d grown up IRL, so to speak. I have a faith in something bigger than me which, while it doesn’t look like what it did, has sustained me and given me the confidence to know my worth even as it spurs me to be/do better. 

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? Oh definitely, lol. It’s on AO3. Usually I like to explore M/F with a third in there for kicks, as the concept of generosity and giving within the sexual relationship/experience is intriguing to me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I objected to the term ‘stolen.’ I’ve had my fics, without my knowledge, posted elsewhere, translated without my knowledge, and changed to other fandom characters to be posted elsewhere. However! I’ve had loads of people ask me too, and I really appreciate being able to go visit them. (Stolen would indicate I somehow own these fanfictions, and I do not, as that would be a legally difficult hill to stand on. I also do not perceive collective fan art in this manner, because the world is all of ours.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Oh there’s a co-written story that me, carto, and muppet47 started and have NEVER finished. We all know Castle has to go to jail, but we can’t write it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Writing it the first time. Correctly. As in, it comes out the way it should or ought to or how I am seeing it in the moment. I have the right rhythm, I can spell and I have the grammar skills. My first draft is fast and good enough for submission. Of course, I go back and edit, and I have to, but I’m very blessed in not ever going through anything like writer’s block.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Secondary characters. I have a tendency for tunnel vision, where all I want to do is talk about and to and for the main characters. If they have friends or family, I barely include them. I can’t manage to care that they exist. But all of us live in a complex web of relationships and community; no one is alone. My last novel, Taste of Salt, was an concentrated effort to include as many other perspectives as possible, so it was told through the POVs of the two main characters and interspersed with flashback chapters from the POVs of their friends, family, coworkers, chance encounters, medical personnel, kids, support networks… there you go.You have to do the thing that’s hard. Write it out, over and over, keep practicing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Yeah, sometimes it becomes necessary for the character. But please keep it to a minimum (imo) as it detracts from the reader’s understanding and experience of reading. It ought to be rather easy to understand what the person is saying due to context or just the flow of the scene. If you’re writing in English, and you have a character visiting France, then obviously some of that ought to be in French, but after a while, you can indicate that the language is being used while writing it in English. I say this because most of you are fandom writers who are not writing for literary audiences; therefore, don’t ruin everyone’s fun my making it incomprehensible or inaccessible. Please.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? Don’t ask me to choose between my children! I can tell you that Dash holds a special place in my heart due to the amount of readers who said it gave them understanding of their own sensory issues or their child’s autism, etc. Spy gave me one of my greatest friends, carto, who continues to love and support me and my writing. 

I won't tag anyone, because I deleted so many of these questions, but feel free to answer or share or talk with me about them!

[thetarttfuldickhead]

I'm torn between wanting Jamie to stand up to his dad and tell him to stay out of his life (although the Wembley ep was sort of that and I think that no matter how much he has come on as a person, I think it would be too hard for Jamie to actually face his dad down and say that too him), and wanting James Tartt Sr to try something to hurt his son again and a vengeful Roy Kent come swinging out of nowhere to turn his face to jam.

Hiya, sweet nonny!

Though I certainly get the desire to have Jaime stand up to his dad in a more comprehensive and verbal kind of way, and in a moment when he’s no longer cowed by his father but faces him head held high, I think I’d rather not have another full on confrontation between the two of them. Partly because we’ve (sort of) been there, done that, partly because I just really think Jamie deserves never to have to deal with that prick ever again.

Then again, Jamie is clearly haunted by his old man still, not here but still kind of there, and perhaps the catharsis he needs is to let his dad know once and for all what he thinks of him, and that they’re done.

Only…

Only, most of the time, in most of our lives, there is no catharsis; not one single moment of great release than leaves us cleansed and ready to tackle the world anew without the burden of what came before and hurt us. Most of the time, I think, we just learn to live with the pain; blunt it, too, with time or experience or forgetfulness.

And love.

See, I don’t think that James Tartt, as we’ve seen him, will ever be able to give Jamie what he needs. There’ll be no reasoning, no realization of guilt, apologies, or amends. A confrontation will only ever lead to spluttering defiance and challenges. So what then if Jamie dismisses him with one hell of a zinger? Does that soothe the ache of a young boy who just wanted a father? Does that lessen the trauma of a fourteen year old brought to a brothel? Does it in any way make up for the times he was met with scorn when he should have been cherished?

(This is not an argument that you should never forgive because harm done cannot be undone; it’s an argument that James Tartt Sr. is unable and/or unwilling to participate in any attempts of reconciliation and is therefor best ignored.)

To me, the way Jamie gets over his father – slowly, painfully, and probably never completey – is by… just not giving it any more time that he absolutely has to (those ghosts in his brain, they’re still there). There’ll be times when he needs to grieve or rage or fall apart, and that’s fine; the rest of the time, his father is best forgotten and ignored in favour of the people that love Jamie, and that he loves in turn.

This doesn’t heal all aches either, of course. The damage done by his dad lingers. We do all of us learn to live with the scars.

I get that this is not as dramatic and immediately satisfying resolution as Jamie asking his dad to fuck off (even if they’re not actually mutually exclusive), but to me it just seems truer and in keeping with a series that had Jamie punching his dad be a heartbreaking moment rather than a triumphant one.

Roy now… Well, Roy really needs to learn to solve his and everybody else’s problem with something other than his fists and shouting so I can’t fully get behind him physically assaulting Tartt Sr. (sexy a thought as it might be), but I am exceedingly keen on the notion of him being protective over Jamie when it comes to this. Like, I dream about him stomping into Ted’s office and going what are you going to do about Jamie’s fucking dad?

“Well, Roy,” Ted begins, but Roy cuts him right off:

“Man City match is coming up and you know the piece of shit is going to be there.”

“Jamie told you he’s worried?”

And Roy hesitates. “No, but… “

He doesn’t say: No, but I watch him.

No, but I see the look on his face when he doesn’t know anyone’s looking.

No, but I know him, and I know the way he hunches his shoulders when he’s feeling down, I know that wide smirk flashing by when he doesn’t want you to notice his eyes.

I know his sharp tongue twisting round his mouth as it shies away from the words he’d rather not say.

Roy says, “He shouldn’t have to deal with that shit.” And he adds, as if needing to add justification (for himself, for the other coaches), “It won’t be good for his play if he’s distracted.”

“Mhm.” Ted nods, but nods in that carefully friendly neutral way that makes it damned clear he’s not fooled. “Well, what do you think we should do, Roy?”

Bring the paint, I’ll bring the ropes, Roy doesn’t say. “Can you make sure he’s not allowed into the stadium?” he asks Higgins.

And Higgins nods, yes, of course, and he’s off to make the phone calls, and Ted’s still looking at Roy with that infuriating understanding in his eyes.

“You think he might try something outside?” Ted asks, and it’s so matter-of-fact, such a straight fucking question for a situation as tangled as they come.  

“Maybe.” Roy’s face is a mask, is stone. He is already moving towards the door. “I’ll fucking sort it.”

Jamie might not have a father worth shit but he’s got a team and he’s got Roy, and that will be plenty.

[memphisflash]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑

Pairing: Evelyn Harper (OC) x Elvis Presley

Word count: 2,1K

Chapter summary: Elvis knows he can't drop the truth on Evelyn like a bomb, and he lets her walk away. Not wanting to force her into anything but not wanting to be without her for longer either, he impulsively accepts Red's offer to bring in the help of a witch.

Chapter warnings: Elvis' pov! (not a warning but y'know), strong language, blood consumption.

Main m.list | Series m.list

➺ ELVIS' POV

Shit, shit, shit.

Me and my big damn mouth. This wasn’t supposed to happen – hell, Evelyn Harper should not be standing in front of me right now.

I knew this day would come eventually, though. She was the daughter of Christian Harper, once the nation’s best hunter, and I was… well, me. Christian didn’t like me and never had, so I wasn’t surprised he’d send one of his little minions after me, but I didn’t think he’d stoop that low to send his own daughter.

Especially considering our past together, but then again, Christian Harper wasn’t the saint he portrayed himself to be.

The fucker probably set me up with the murders too.

Sure, I killed people, but not to the extent one might think.

I was a predator, unfortunately for me it was imbedded into my DNA after I was turned into a vampire, but I wasn’t a young fledgling anymore. I learned from my mistakes in the past where I’d go out hunting unsuspecting humans just for the heck of it. Nowadays, I only killed when it was absolutely necessary – whether I, or my people, were in danger for example.

I didn’t murder the girls I’d take into my room in cold blood.

I didn’t even sleep with them most of the time.

I fed and healed them, and then compelled them to forget what they’ve seen and that they’ve been to my room in the first place. I had too many people depending on me, too many eyes on me at all times to be reckless. Leaving mutilated bodies behind in the alley of the International to let them rot by the trash cans? Not my style.

Either it was the job of another vampire in town that wanted to fuck up my reputation, or Christian Harper was behind it.

My gut told me it was the latter.

“H-How… How do you.. How do you know my name?”

I widened my eyes a little as I looked at the brunette in front of me, panic tingling my bones as I saw the look on her face. She was confused, and I could sense she was trying to hide the fact that she was growing nervous. I was the same, and I masked my feelings before she could pinpoint them.

Taking a step back to create space between us, I fought the urge to run a frustrated hand through my hair because they were still covered in Richard’s blood.

A death I’d have to grief and beat myself up for later.

“You should go,” I told her, opting to place my hands on my hips as I avoided eye contact.

I couldn’t just blurt out the truth to her. Not now.

I couldn’t tell her that she was being lied to by the people she loved and that her and I had a past together. It wasn’t something that one would just throw out there, as if it was no big deal.

“No,” Evelyn stood her ground as she pushed herself off the wall and stood straight, her eyes boring into me. “I’m not leaving before you tell me how you who I am.”

She’d always been stubborn. Something I liked about her but sometimes it got on my nerves because it would get her in trouble. Now was one of those cases.

Looking up at her with a serious expression, no more smug grins, I shook my head.

“You’re staying at the hotel I got plenty of connections in. Besides, it ain’t like the VHA is some secret operation vampires don’t know about. Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart,”

The words came out more harsh than I intended to. But I needed to create distance between us, keep her at bay… at least, for now. It’s been three years since I’ve seen her and talked to her, and I needed to get my head straight. Despite not showing it, I’d been going through inner turmoil the second I saw her in the crowd tonight.

Once upon a time she looked at me with love and admiration in those beautiful chocolate eyes of hers, and now there was nothing but indifference, hatred for the creature I was.

They’d brainwashed her, the way I do to the girls that I feed from.

“I don’t buy that,”

Goddamnit, Evelyn.

“You know something and because of that, you think you’re already one step ahead,” she continued, taking a step closer to me. My jaw clenched as I looked down at her, forcing myself not to look at her lips. “I’d be careful making your next victim if I were you, Elvis, because I’m-“

My eyes lowered to the jewelry around her neck, silver pendant with a small ruby stone resting over her collarbone. “Ask your father where you got that necklace.”

She shut up at my interruption and frowned, her dainty fingers touching her necklace for a second. She slowly looked back up at me and it caused a shiver to run down my spine, but I managed not to show it. “M-My… father?” She whispered.

“If he truly cares about you, he will tell you the truth and it will set you free,” I told her pointedly, my voice dropping to a whisper too. I slowly brought my hand to her necklace, groaning softly at the feeling of the vervain laced jewelry underneath the pad of my index finger as I caressed it. I could hear her breath stammering slightly and as we looked at each other, my fingertip ghosting along her clavicle.

I wanted to grab her and kiss her, make love to her until the sun would rise again and drag us back to reality. But I couldn’t. We couldn’t.

“You need to go,” I told her once more as I pulled my hand back, veins crawling underneath my eyes as my vampiric face threatened to come through my human one. Not because I wanted to sink my teeth into her soft skin, but because it was hard to control myself this close to her, in all senses of the word. “Please leave, Eva,”

I cursed myself at the pet name that was only used by me for her, but a sprinkle of hope sparked at my heart as she looked at me with slightly widened eyes.

Could it be...?

But then she took a step back and turned, walking to the door and that spark of hope was killed as fast as it had grown.

She looked at me once more as she stood in the door opening and I mentally begged her to speak, to say something, but instead we just looked at each other for what both felt like an eternity and a split second. And then she was gone, taking what was left of my undead heart with her.

The Memphis Mafia was used to my raving and ranting whenever the opportunity called for it. They’ve been around me long enough to know what I was like.

I was the one who turned most of them into vampires.

Some willingly, some not.

I now realize how selfish I’d been in the past, but I couldn’t stand to face an eternity all alone. I needed companionship around me and I gave them everything they wanted and needed…

Protection, money, status, luxury things.

It made them stay and now that the person I needed most wasn't by my side anymore, I couldn't stand the thought of my guys not being in my life either.

But I knew they were unhappy with me killing Richard.

The vampire that had fallen into Evelyn’s trap had been with me since the early sixties. I liked the guy and regretted taking his heart, but the guys also knew who Evelyn was and what she meant to me. I would kill for her, no questions asked.

And they didn’t ask any questions. They simply got rid of the body, grieving their friend silently and didn’t mention a word to me.

All but one were afraid to speak to me about the situation.

“Breakfast, boss?”

I looked up as the door to my bedroom in the penthouse opened and Red appeared into view.

It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon, the usual time I’d come out of my cocoon and get ready for the night’s show. I hadn’t rested or even slept a wink because my mind had been racing with thoughts.

Consumed by one person.

Evelyn Harper.

“Yeah. Come in.” I told Red as I waved him over, sitting up straight against the headboard of my bed. The curtains of the canopy of my bed were drawn at the window’s side, engulfing me in my own dark shelter. I turned on the light on the bedside table and cleared my throat a little, thanking Red for the tray he put on my bed.

Fruits, bacon, coffee and blood.

The usual.

I reached for the crimson liquid that had been poured into a mug, taking a sip of it as my eyes followed Red’s figure around the room. He sat on a chair near the bed and leaned his arms on his knees, looking at me knowingly.

“How do you feel?”

An uncomfortable question I didn’t know if I was able to answer. I felt a lot of things and even after thinking things over for the entire night, I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel.

Hurt, angry, frustrated, heartbroken.

“She don’t remember me, Red. I knew she wouldn’t, but goddamnit, seein’ her like that.. it.. it’s hell, man.”

Red nodded his head a little, rubbing his hands together. He’d been there when everything went down – he knew the reason why she didn’t remember anything and he knew how much it broke me.

Back then, and now all over again.

“You know how easily this can be reversed, right? We get her here alone and undo the compulsion.”

“And then what? We’d have to fight off hunters for the next ten, twenty years.. Take her whole life away from her. I can’t do that, Red.”

Red sighs deeply and looks down at his daylight ring, twirling it around his finger. “You’ve done it before..”

His words were low and maybe he didn’t mean for me to hear them, but I did.

I was aware he didn’t mean it in a malicious way and his intention wasn’t to hurt me, but the words made something inside of me snap.

I threw the mug of blood against the nearest wall, shoving the tray off my bed, not caring about the mess it made.

“I did not take her life away from her,” I gritted through my teeth, standing at the side of my bed as I pointed my finger at the other vampire. “We loved… we love each other.”

Evelyn might not remember me, but that wasn’t her fault. It was the fault of the people she called friends, of the people she called family. In my heart, I knew she still loved me.

And I wanted her to remember, more than anything in the world, but I’d never experienced someone being uncompelled.

I didn’t know what the aftermath would be.

Would it even work? Would she remember everything or just small snippets of the past? Would it hurt her?

Would she even want anything to do with me?

Hell, who knows. It could possibly even kill her and I'd rather step into the scorching Vegas sun without my ring rather than for that to happen.

At least now I had her nearby and she felt something, hatred of all things, but that was better than nothing.

By uncompelling her, I’d turn her whole life around.

Red got up and raised his hands as if he was surrendering, knowing not to anger me further. I groaned and sat down on the edge of my bed, my head in my hands. I felt Red patting my shoulder twice, releasing a low sigh through his nose.

“I know you did. She loved you once, Elvis, and she can do it again. There’s plenty of witches running around Vegas, just say the word…”

I stayed silent, listening to Red’s soft footsteps walking to the door. I wasn’t sure what the best way to handle all of this was yet, but I had to have at least a back up plan.

Raising my head, I spoke up before Red could leave the room.

“Red..”

“Yeah, boss?”

He looked back at me as I got back into the bed, grabbing onto open curtain of my bed. “Make the call.”

With that, I pulled the black velvet curtain closed, drowning myself in darkness before the show tonight.