#DEFINITELY going to a two hour training on equal pay laws. have I had an equal pay case?? absolutely not

[melaan]

let’s see how many bullshit tasks to fill the time I can complete today before my four day weekend

[aliypop]

Invisible  (OC x The FLASH)

Word count : 1,468

Character Count : 7,942

Warning : Mentions of IV Drip. 

A/N: I really wanted to write something new for my Character Yonah and it seemed Justice League was the push for it.

"Just because you don't see something doesn't mean it isn't there. " Yonah mumbled, pouring a cup of tea water, first then the tea as not to scorch the leaves as Alfred had taught her. "Some of the best things in the world are invisible." she hummed: trying to get her father's attention was hard, especially after everything she had done. "You're not going..." He mumbled, looking up at her as he continued to try to fix the Kryptonian plane. "And why not..." she asked, taking the wrench that he had been looking for from under the table. In her arm was an IV drip that Alfred had made himself: after all, she had only been out of Belle Reve's prison for about a week and sober from any joker toxins and alcohol for six days. "Because I can't trust you..." he grumbled, 

"Oh sure, go by yourself to stalk a literal Speedster for your, Hey look Alfred; I can make friends, team." she sat next to him " I at least know how to talk speedster," she whispered, to say that Yonah was sassy was a weak outcry. Instead, she was stubborn as a mule, but so was Bruce.  "What makes you so sure you know what he is?" he mused, a wire in his mouth as a gust of wind blew past his face, an annoyed nod following. 

"So say you'll let me go with you?"

"You are just as persuasive as -" 

"Don't say don't you dare." She looked at Bruce.

"As your mother." 

"Can we just go visit this old hero guy..." she asked, trying to change the subject. Yonah had never liked bringing up her mother, unlike Bruce: who secretly clung to every memory he had left of her. For instance, her wedding ring, super suit, and a picture he kept in his bedroom. 

 Although the ride to Central City was long and mostly full of silence from Bruce, she still felt at peace with the midwest. "We're here." Bruce tapped her: he hadn't seen his daughter sleep so soundly since she was five, and it was disheartening. "Why train tracks..." she glared over at him, sleep still in her eyes.

 Bruce sighed as he opened her door, "Must you be difficult ..." 

"Must we sneak into a creepy old train shack like thieves?" Yonah laughed. Monitors decorated the place as both Yonah and Bruce ventured around. As the door creaked, Bruce sat down, trying his best to seem as natural as possible, which was usually hard for him to do. 

"Barry Allen, Bruce Wayne."  he nodded,

"You said that like it explains why there's a total stranger in place sitting in the dark in my second favorite chair. "

"Tell me about this?" Bruce asked, holding up a picture of the man before him, watching as he took it from him, "A man who looks exactly like me but is definitely not me..." he snarked back at the billionaire as Yonah only laughed. She could tell that he'd be a perfect fit for the so-called Justice League. Besides: he was brilliant and indeed attractive, "This suit is a work of art... If I had one made out of silica-based quartz, and fabric I'd be running everywhere..." 

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Barry turned back to face the young woman. 

"Oh, uhm, Yonah Shanel Wayne. " she smiled, 

"Look, whoever you're looking for, it's not m-" he paused, watching as Bruce threw a Batarang at him. Time had seemed to freeze as he stared at the black metal blade. "I'd suggest you catch it: one, of those to the face, is not fun..." Yonah whispered as she tapped him on the shoulder. 

"You're the batman..." He asked

"So you're fast."

"We're putting together a team of heroes, if you will, and I think you'd be perfect." she blushed. 

"I'm in." Barry smiled. 

Yonah looked back at Bruce as she only smirked, " Three points for me, zero points for you." she grinned as the trio walked back towards Bruce's car. 

"It's like this layer of dimensional reality ... I call it.."

" The speed force." Both Yonah and Barry said in unison as the two locked eyes, 

"You know about the speed force." 

"There's a lot of things I know about Mr. Allen." she gave him a small smile. "Can I get to know more about you," he asked, "Only if you're free to train me over a cup of tea back on the plane..." she suggested getting into the backseat. 

"Plane...wait, what are your superpowers again?" Barry asked, looking directly at Bruce.

"I'm rich."

"So, basically, my powers include fire, super speed, and celestial magic." Yonah smiled, sitting across from Barry as the two sipped coffee from their cups. "So, like, do you slay people and sacrifice them or what." his eyes still focused on her every word. "Incremindo Aviium..." she mumbled under her breath as butterfly appeared, "It's pretty simple." she giggled,

 "See, that was cool." he gasped catching, the butterfly. "So criminal justice major, what's that like..." taking notice of the books he left by his foot. Barry only sighed as if that told Yonah everything she needed to know.

 "It's uh exciting, I mean, it's what I want to do, I just..."

"Feel like you're failing at it... Like no matter how hard you try, you feel trapped." 

"How'd you know?" 

"I went to college to be a lawyer, graduated early, and I'm currently huge into detective work," she whispered, "But my dad wanted me to stick to law..." As the plane landed, Barry could only feel his heart skip a beat: after all, he was in love with a woman he shared a 2-hour flight with; 

Yonah had seemed to be this put-together woman as if her life was all figured out when she was alone in her own home living in the state of mind that she was invisible. 

"I don't need the IV ..." she looked back at Barry, who had a look of pity on his face. She knew that this was her fault, mixing into the wrong crowds and becoming a person she didn't want to be. However, it was the price she had to pay. " Your father finds it best if you used it." Alfred sighed, "You could relapse or worse..." 

"I could die, I get it... But maybe instead of just hiding me away like a monster, give me a chance," she asked as Alfred shook his placing the needle into her skin, 

"You should rest." 

It was late in Gotham as she sat in her bed listening to the commotion from the Batcave. She could hear the voices of Diana and her father. Nothing too spectacular, but she still wanted to be apart, "Hey uh... I wanted to know if maybe you'd want to talk or even learn Gorilla sign language ?" Barry joked from the other side of the door.

"Go away..." she sighed, her voice a bit raspy.

"See, I could go... but I can't let the first girl who talked to me slip away and..." he noticed that the door was wide open. "Look, I know we just met, but I'm worried about you..." he took her hand in his. "You're just saying that..." she responded, trying to walk away, "Everyone's worried about me, but they just push me aside." she took his hand away from his. 

"I'm not everyone ." he smirked, "I'm Barry Allen, the fastest man alive." 

"I bet you can't catch me then..." she teased, "You me one lap around Gotham first one back here has to kiss the winner." 

"Challenge accepted." 

Alfred hummed to himself as he dusted off the furniture. Seeing a streak of pink and yellow lightning, he knew all too well what was going on. Yonah had quite possibly found her equal, and he for once was happy about it: after all, almost having Roman Sionis as a dinner guest would have never worked in Alfred's book. 

"I won fair and square, Mr. Allen." Yonah laughed, watching as his cheeks puffed out. 

 "There's no way you're faster than me!"

"So you were just stretching back there then?" she asked, getting closer towards him. Barry could feel his palms sweat as his nerves took over him. "I... well... I.."

"Lo-" the very breath in her body halted as her hands wrapped around Barry's neck. The kiss wasn't something out of those corny romance movies that Bruce watched on his downtime, but to her, it brought life into her lungs and fire that burned brighter than the flames she could produce.

 "Would you ... do you want to be my girlfriend ..." he asked breathlessly.

"Take me on a date, and we'll see how it goes, Flash..."

"Flash... I like that."

[kanene-yaaay]

Vulnerable

Author’s note: 

Thank you all very much for all the support, reblogs, heart and kinds words that you give to me. I can’t call this a christmas gift, but I really hope that you like it and this small oneshot is able to light up your day! ‘w’)s2

Just like all the random ideias this came when I was doing chorus, because, of cooooourse my brain wouldn’t give me a plot when I’m free and with time to write. xDDD

Just a bunch of fluff with all the Light Sides atke caring of Virgil. I love to write these scenarios. sorrey words. No angst today. xP

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Virgil and Ler!Logan. However, tickling isn’t the main plot this time. xP

* Hmmm… This is a fluff fanfic with liking for tickling. If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of lovelys and fantastic arts in this site!! ‘u’).

* Something around 4000 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Fanfics em português brasileiro (Portuguese Version) ! Thank you so much for reading, my lollipops! Have a wooooonderful day regardless it’s festive or not! Take care of yourself and of your family, friends... Everyone who is dear for you!  Byeioo!~

                   [~*~]

Vulnerable.

 This was a bittersweet word. Maybe a little too much bittersweet. It was that set of letters that provoked a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. That kind of set that if he asked to Logan to define it, would receive a very different answer from the one that he really felt to be the real one.

 Weak.

 He remembers his first days living with the others on the Light Side: spending a lot of time in his room, crackled his fingers with worrying frequency every time he got out from his place and ended up interacting with someone; was always fearful and, when this fear became almost impossible to maintain or hides and someone addressed him a word, the purple lover showed his personality abruptly, with rough and sharp words. The feelings beating, counting the seconds to see how much time it would last until they expelled him from there, because one thing was extremely certain:

 “ – I-I can’t understand. – His voice came out in a mix of tiredness and anger, sparkling almost as hard as his sharp, frustrated look. – Why do all of you still doing this? Why are keeping me here? Why don’t you kick me out? Why pretend that I never did anything wrong?? – His voice stuck in his throat before he could release the main question, that one which made his heart hurt for keep it for so long.

 ‘Why do you treat me like family?’

 - You are an essential part for Thomas’ welfare. – The voice from the logic aspect echoed in the room occupied only by the two sides. In truth, initially it was only for Virgil to be there. However, Logan just settled down a few inches away from the first one, a book in hands and deaf ears for the growl that came from the mouth of the anxious aspect. – Your vigilant and awareness about the reality’s state helps him to keep his two feet on the ground. Something that I am grateful.

 And then he elevates his glare, taking by surprise the pair of brown eyes, which quickly deviated his attention to the wall, before hearing the phrase that let out from the other lips, in a definitely softer tune.

 - None of us is perfect. We never were.

 Virgil felt his body relaxes with relief. Absolutely against his desire.

  He was not like any of them.

 It took a few days for these first reactions to fade little by little. The urge to flee decreased and the frequency he went out increased. He stopped to throw out sharp and rough words to speak less often. He would let himself fall in the steps of the stair and stayed there watching his phone and listening music. Much because it was his favorite hobby, and part because as this he could easily observed (and mot of time unnoticed) the Light Sides interacting.

  “- Hey, easy there. – Warm, loving hands gently held his own, and Virgil controlled his first instinct to retreat and flight, quickly recognizing Patton’s voice and gestures. Was it weird that in such short time he already could recognize each of them? By their voice’s timbre, way to walk, the position they had around him… Would it be weird if some day they knew that he already was aware about of all this? – You will end hurting yourself, son. – As the one who wears glasses spoke, he untangled Virgil’s fingers, since the purple lover was crackling them in five different ways since the beginning of the movie, when he was called to join the Family Movie Night.

 The paternal side has a special skill to utter more than words said, and Virgil felt his ears burn with the blush that hit his face when he realized how deep, delicate and affectionate that phrase was.

 - I am not your son. – Complained in a mix of grumbled and growl that only could be researched and pronounced with a lot of training. Patton laughed and intertwined one of their hands, the other one being free to ruffle the hair strands of the anxious side, who falsely angry puffed, breaking free from the touch.

 - Sure you’re not, Hamilson! – Roman smiled brightly, extremely happy and proud for the reference utilized by the heart’s representation. Logan seemed be the only one who really was paying attention on the movie, and soon Virgil joined him.

 Partly because the plot was really interesting and part because he wanted to ignore the sense of comfort emanating from his hand, which would be totally separated from Patton’s one if it wasn’t for the two little fingers that still tangled. Again, absolutely against his desire.

  And, with the pass (a little more) of time (his own time) he changed from the stairs to the couch and started to do the chores by the morning and not just at dawn, when the others were away or asleep. He also began to smile more from Patton’s dad jokes and the little fights between a Logan without coffee and a sleep-drunk Roman, who didn’t stopped to summon the most eccentrics possible (and impossible) things in the kitchen.

 Virgil began to feel equally comfortable listening to his songs even when he forgot/lost/gave up to find his headphones, and, as a thank you, didn’t complained about the 150 stories and/or performances Roman created based in each one of the lyrics. Even if those didn’t have much of that bitter taste from angst that makes the whole climax even more interesting, in his opinion.

 Just as he felt free to lean against the back of Logan’s armchair, reading over his shoulders when realized that the one who wears tie enjoyed some book about astronomy, since the theories about of how the Universe and everything with it emerged, were too precious to leave the shame kept him from reading.

 The sporadic jumpscares from the logical side as he became suddenly aware about the other’s presence were equally appreciated.

 And, in the end, Virgil relaxed and lowered his guard enough to take a nap when Patton sat at besides him on the couch, either to try ‘just one more!’ of the thousands of handworks that he so much loved, or just to lay down his legs after a particularly hard day on the kitchen. Sometimes he would woke up when the paternal side softly pulled him to rest his head in his shoulder or lap (depending on how much both were sprawled out in the furniture), running his fingers through his purple hair from time to time. Sometimes humming something while working or sometimes let himself lean on Virgil for a small nap, too.

  “Thomas yawed and it might seem, to anyone who watched from the outside, that he covered the other’s mouth, due how suddenly his voice stopped to excitedly fulfill the air.

 - You are tired. – It wasn’t a question. Virgil could not detect the very tone of voice that stuffed his sentence. – You should go to sleep.

 The bed where both were resting shifted a little as the human turned to see the hours before undoing the action until he could stare the purple lover aspect.

 - It’s still early. Logan said that I should stay away from the cellphone for half an hour before bed.

 No answer.

 - Come on… - Thomas replied, his supplicant voice mingled with that puppy eyes that should have been considered a cheating so scandalous until the point to have laws to forbidden them. Virgil began to feel his barriers falling. Damn it. – You know you’re the only one who has enough persistence to keep me from picking up my phone and start to watch animals being cute.

 The one on the hoodie growled.

 - Logan also told me that the yawning is a sign that the body is attempting to stay awake, which means that your theories are so interesting that I am really trying hard to hear any and every bit o-

 - Okay, okay!! – He prevented the other from completing his phrase, covering his mouth and rolling his eyes to the laughter that hit its moments later. – Just, stop with this… sentimental stuff. Urg. – And then withdrew his hand, both turning to face the ceiling of the room, seeing more than could actually explain. – So, where were I? Oh, yes. And that is why, if the aliens remained in the area 51 and it really was in Earth, the time travel…

 …

 And for some time they slept, but, as always, Virgil found himself slightly waking up when he felt the other’s arms wrap him in a firm and affection mixture that had probably taken training and time to research; and, even more surprisingly, the side on hoodie didn’t felt himself pushing him away or sinking to his own room, and yes relaxing and sighing comfortably. Soon allowing his eyes to close and both fall back into the Dream World.

 It took a little longer to feel that he really could lower his guards. Talked more, without fear of being inconvenient, wander by the entire Mental Palace like a lost soul (he was really proud of the amount of jumpscares he manage to get from the family), sporadically visited the others sides  to chat (but only when he was sure that they were in their room and in rare moments, just as he wished it were visits to his own room); and, finally, starting to realize, step by step, memory by memory, fight to fight, discussion to discussion and intern joke to intern joke which Patton’s card, the debates with Logan, the pranks with Roman and the conversation with Thomas mean.

 Which meant being in a famILY.

 Which meant being able to be vulnerable, to be himself, to allow himself to be attacked at any time, by acts or words, just for the simple and liberating fact that none of them would do so, and vice versa. Perhaps happened to exists some bruises, however never really wanting to.

 “- You never showed me your room before. – Virgil uttered, part afraid to bring this subject up, but the other part, the most insistent, being too much curious to let the doubt arrested himself. His feet played, submerged in the water of the small river that crossed this part of the room belonging to the creative side.

- Maybe because you never seemed like a nature lover…? – The prince answered with a touch of doubt, as he wasn’t very sure about his own statement. In the end he shrugged, which was a little weird, since he was floating and keeping himself in the same place between the river flows by an only vine tangled in his wrist.

 - Fair. So, you’re the type that is carried away by the appearances, huh?

 - What!?? – With the fright, Roman almost lost his balance, trying to sit up before remembering that he was in the middle of water and not on a solid surface. For a moment everything became a mess of water being splashed to any and every possible direction, something that would worries the purple side, if it didn’t took more than a few seconds to the creativity side stabilize himself again, staring him as he has been slapped in the face.  – Pardon me?? I am the romantic side! Nothing to me is more important than the soul, the essence, the heart! ~

Virgil was almost sure that it was some flirt in this sentence, which wouldn’t be such a surprise, since it was almost countless all the times Roman flirted with every side who simply happened to pass for him.  The battle between him and Deceit remained as a historical mark in the Mind Palace.

 - Mh hm. – Virgil replied, the sarcasm flying from his tongue with an incredible facility, something that the member of royalty was plenty used to. – Just a sec that I’m gonna be right back after fake that I believe in you.

 - Take the chance and give me my cellphone to call and cancel that intimacy that you think you have with me. – The sharp look released by the one using eyelashes matched with his royal teasing smile. It took a while, as everything else in life, but both finally had researched a point where they knew the limits to play and teasing. Not everything was always clear as water (Ok. Maybe he needs to decrease his time with Patton.) however, one day the two would get there.

 Roman began to suspect when, instead to answer with acid words; the purple lover really got his phone and started to type something. He swam closer to the margin.

 - Hey, Roman. What does “Aqui esta mi numero” mean?

- … Heres my number. – Virgil gave what would have been one last click on the screen of his device, and then, from the prince’s pocket, a sound exploded echoing through all the room.

 - SO CALL ME BABY!!! HEY, I JUST MET YOU, AND IT’S CRAZY!

 The representation of creativity probably would jump something around five feet from the ground if he wasn’t in the river. With clumsy hands and several incoherent half-curses, even more inaudible amid the song and Virgil’s laugh, he took some great time before finally refuse the call, stopping 90% the sound, since the one on hoodie stilled laughing.

 - Ha! Jokes on you, Stormcloud! I do adore ‘Call Me Baby’!

 The purple lover pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, before staring at him with a smirk shining in his face.

 - So, why all the fuzz to hush i- WOW! HEY! – The currents protests was due the vines wrapped his sides, seconds before drop him the water. The prince knew about the other’s swimming skills, so, his only concern was just laughing at his mate.

 - ROMAN! – He emerged, a dangerous look glooming and leading a shiver rand down Roman’s spine and a nervous smile spread over his face. All his expression has an only message: - Run.

 Survive Advice: If the aspect of Fight and Flight tells you to run, you run. Even if you’re in the water.”

  It was about this same time he began to have these dreams, that sweet dreams, which, when you woke up, don’t feel a heavy feeling in the chest but a peace. Those dreams which he would wake up happy, refreshed, ready to open his eyes and feel joy for liking his reality. That kind of dream that was important enough to remember. Most of this kind of dreams involved the three light sides, along with Thomas.

 Due this, there was no way he would leave his room is if he was sleepy. Remus had once confirmed to him that he really did speak in he sleep, and Virgil didn’t wanted to risk the others obtained this knowledge in the most cliche and weird way possible.

 Which would be soooo much easier if Thomas wasn’t going back to the habit of sleeping at F I V E   AM in the days he considered himself on a break.

 Nevertheless, sure, nothing in his existence was easy, was it?

 So, the second the purple lover opened his heavy eyes, he was aware of four thing in the exactly same time:

 1º - He wasn’t in his room.

 2º - A blanket covered him.

 3º - His mouth was dry.

 4º - He had no idea about what time it was.

 Trying to remove the remnants from the nap rubbing his eyes, the representation of anxiety went into the kitchen, soon coming back with a glass of water and sat on the couch, thinking how pleasant his dream had been and that he should soon write down all the details to not forget the butterflies in tummy, which still persisted until now.

 - You talk in your sleep. – It was not a question. It was a statement. Virgil almost dropped his phone, his body paralyzing for a second, the memories running fast and clear through his brain. Soft touches, smiles, that unbearable and yet so good sensation in his skin…

 Laughter.

 His face automatically burned as if he was making a tomato cosplay. With little struggling a look, part relaxed and part nervous, took over his expression.

 - Is that so? Did I said something? – Took a sip of water. It wasn’t cold enough to soothe the heat that still covered his cheeks and not hot enough to dispel the cold in his belly.

 - Affirmative. – Logan adjusted his glasses; putting the bookmarker before close the book and delicacy sets its aside in the coffee table. – Interesting, indeed; and enlightening.

 Curse the day that the one who wears tie began to love mystery books and now liked to talk in codes. Who does he think he is? Yoda?? Virgil almost frowned for irritation, but wouldn’t let himself be carried away by the other’s, who carefully observed Virgil calmly lay in the couch with his phone (turned off, that’s true) in hands, game.

 - I wouldn’t define a dream like that. – Retaliated with a grin. – They aren’t the best example of logic, you know?

 - I do not believe it is more about the dream itself, and yes, what it represents. – It wasn’t his impression, Logan did approached some inches. Virgil’s muscles tensed. – Many times, due being from the human’s subconscious, the dreams can capture things that usually the own conscious mind don’t even realize. Unnoticed memories, ancient facts that seemed been forgotten… - Little break. The representation of Fight and Flight felt the blush increased. He knew. He knew, he knew he knewheknewheknewheknew!! And even worse, he knew that Virgil knew. The purple lover felt a smile starting to struggle to open in his mouth. – Unvoiced wishes.

 The aspect on hoodie jumped from the couch in a millisecond, his mind clouded by the nervousness and euphoria, which started to took over his being just for the unspoken words. Logan knew about his dream. His secret desire that, even being relaxed and adapted and feeling loved around them, he wasn’t told to anyone yet.

 Tickling.

 The aspect of ‘Fight or Flight’ does not trip, Virgil was sure, however, the quickly approaching ground questioned his belief and, when his body collapsed on it and he turned to prevent Logan, realized too late that the said already has sat on his legs, an atypical smile in his face.

 - Don’t. You. Dare. – Half smiling, half defensive. The one on hoodie attempted unsuccessfully to break free, until when those words came out from the other’s lips:

 - Only if you are comfortable with that.

 Maybe it was for the certainty with which this sentence was said, or the affection it represented, or the worry that showed, or even the dream he had before and the chase that made each one of his ticklish spots euphorically tingle with just the thought of fingers wriggling on them.

 Maybe it was even for the sincerity and calm in his glare, as if he had said nothing much. Virgil opened his mouth for some seconds, but no sound came out. His eyes met with the hand on his ribs, the sensation to feeling they still being more unbearable than imagining them moving. His entire face blushed, which he tried to hide on his shoulders.

 - Whatever.

 An amused puff was the only answer from the logic side before his fingers scratched Virgil’s neck, leading the purple lover released a light squeal and pulled his face out of the hiding place, trying to protect the attacked spot. The tickles stopped, which made him open his, almost frustrated, eyes just to find Logan simply wriggling his fingers meticulously in the air, right above his skin, going from a spot to another while spread amount of electrics shivers through his nerves

 - I wonder where I should start the experiment… Should I go up and down? Focus in just one spot? Maybe one per time should be the ideal, since you seem be too ticklish in everywhere… - Virgil began to squirm, stopping in the last second with as a frustrated grumble pushed from his mouth. Knowing the representation of the knowledge and curiosity, these wonders were true. However, the smirk growing in his expression make him doubt about that.

 After sometime, Virgil opened his mouth, ready to ask for him do something (anything!), which showed to be a bad choice, since in that very minute the fingers met his ribs and a quick giggle let out his mouth, didn’t finding any barrier to stop it. The struggle from the purple lover (and, as it seems, tickle lover, too) to escape becoming a little stronger.

 - Nahahahahaha!! Lohohohgan!! – The fingers were making circular motions in the upper ribs. First giving attention to just one, then two, then three then... This before his mind get completely messed and he felt the tem fingers hiking his ribs. – NAHAHAHAHA – Uuuuup. – Wahahahahahahahait! – Dooooown. – NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT– Up it goes. – TheheheheheHEHEHEheheHEHEHEheHEHE!! – And now he went up and down and in random patters, focusing in just one side before presenting the same treatment to the other. Virgil hugged himself as tightly as he could, seeking prevent his arms to stop the feeling.

 - This sounds like a good place. – The logical aspect continued, his calm and stable voice being betrayed by his playfully (and a little bit crazy, it’s important to mention) painted grin. His hands stopped, moving away from Virgil and giving him time to take some sips of air and struggle to not melt in giggles that escaped from his lips. Logan held one of his hands, delicately pushing it up. – Nevertheless I ask to myself how it going to be with this so well hidden spot.

 - Lohohohohohgan! Nohoho! W-wahahahahahahait! – His face was bright by how huge was his smile, almost as luminously as the sparkle in his glare. The one who (always)  wears tie (and sometimes a unicorn onesie) slightly ned his head, his free hand entering under the hoodie and giving small light squeezes in each one ribs where he slowly walked by, generating a series of laugh intercalated by squeaks and quick jumps. He tried to free his wrist from the other’s hold.

 - Yes, Virgil? Is there something that you want to tell? – The purple side, who had the blush spread to his neck, just shook his head, without being able (or not wanting to) pronounce anything. His nose winkled and his eyes were lightly shouted down, maybe having the conciseness that the dark made him even more sensitive. ~

 Logan began to trace with an only finger irregular patterns in his armpits, happily watching him curl up a little and put even more effort to lower his arm.

 -Plehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehahahahahahase!!

 - Do you want me to speed up? Alright.

 And then all the five tickler fingers attacked all at once. Scratching, poking, wriggling, drumming and exploring every little piece of researchable skin to tickle from the other.

 - LohohohoGAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahaHAHAhaha!!! – Now, the laughter danced more freely and in a higher flow. Logan keep the tickles for a few more minutes, switching between armpits and upper ribs. Since not know the next step seemed essential to get more shrieks and high-pitched laugh.

 The logic side retreated, letting the representation of ‘Fight or Flight’ finally lower his arm and curl up, the laugh coming back to little sporadic giggles. When he opened his eyes again, Virgil faced a long dark-blue feather millimeters away from his bellybutton. His glare met Logan’s, noticing how equally his expression was with that crazy scientists, and wondering, for that brief moment, how his own expression looked like.

 “Like a light.” Logan would answer if he had the ability to read the other’s mind. “Because it looks like capable to light the darkest night.”

 “And…”

 - NononononO!

 He wriggled the feather into Virgil’s navel, who practically jumped with the sensation that hit without any warning his body.

 “He certainly would be a warning to a thunder, or even the coming storm.”

 All his nerves and instincts were laughing. Virgil was absolutely sure about that while his mind became a messy cloudy of laugh and happy tears accumulating in his eye’s corner. His smile went ear to ear and it was really impressive that Logan haven’t been hurled by the strength which he squirmed. The laugh reverberated in his chest and filled him with enjoy.

  “An adorable storm, indeed.”

 He stopped, because the loud sound could attract the others and the most rational side doubted this was something that the one on hoodie would like to. Give him some more to breath.

 - My gohohohohohohohohohosh… - He still squirming slightly, wiping some small fallen tears. – Yohohohou arehehehehe ruthlehehehehehess, right?  

 - I believe that I was quite carried away by the experiment. – He lifted up the feather, unaware about the electric shivers running Virgil’s spine just by this movement. – I suppose that you enjoy light tickles as well, am I right? Would the neck be a good spot for this?

 Virgil didn’t answered for a few moments, ultimately agreeing with a quick nod, and feeling the other rise from his, now numbs, legs. Logan readjusted himself by his side, letting the feather softly dance on his neck, tracing his jaw, which trembled for the small chuckles that escaped from the said, until this spot behind his ear, which made him release gaps of laughter.

 In the end, Logan got up, going towards the coffee table to recall his book, before coming back together with the glass of water in hands, quickly handing over to the purple side, who still couldn’t erase the euphoric wobbly smile from his face. Seconds of comfort silent permeated between both. Virgil fight against which its representation before breaking it.

 - Thank you.

 Logan blinked, a bit surprised, before nodding, putting the feather in his pocket and letting a small smile took over his mouth.

 - I’m glad for we share this… bounding moment. It was quite pleasant.

 - Seriously?

 - Sure.

 - Well it was… pleasant for me, too.

 Quick smiles. Happy glares.

 - Don’t ever talk about this with anyone! Not even about the dream! – Sibilated.

  - I’m afraid to not know what you’re talking about. – And the one who wears tie left the room, his amusing sentence still floating in the air. Virgil couldn’t help but smile one more time, absolutely against his desire, sure.

 Vulnerable.

 Now he understood the sense that this word could assume when surrounded by the right people.

 Trust.

[faketextsfromlastmight]

Best of tags #13

A compilation of my favorite reactions to this blog.

A chat about Iida wanting to move to South America (Link):

@displacerlovesmyhero said:

I mean, some people just want to hide the bodies in South America.

@frankly-ludicrous said:

Toss 'em in the fucking Grand Canyon or something! We don't need your corpses stinking up the place, we have our own corpses to take care of!

I feel like I stumbled upon two rival crime bosses arguing about territories and now I’m terrified.

@theproxy066 on Shigaraki recruiting Bakugou and Tokoyami: (Link)

I like this, but wasn't Tokoyami picked out last-minute by Mr. Compress?

You know that shitty friend who only wants to hang out with you at the beginning of the month when your credit card is full? Well that’s how I treat the canon.

@hotonten on the D.E.K.U. method: (Link)

The U should be changed to "unconditional love"

LOVE?!!! Urgh! Are we even reading the same manga? Midoriya is a creeping black widow and he’s here to get the DOUGH. Watch out, Iida, Midoriya’s looking at your inheritance!

@abraxax-heart on Aizawa playing favorites: (Link)

This is a lie because Aizawa also dearly cares for Bakugou, Mirio and Eri (though she’s not her student… Yet). AND is also incapable of restraining himself when faced with problem children. He has to adopt them.

Forget the gender spectrum! The new way to illustrate your personality is: where do you fall on a scale from “Aizawa hates kids” to “Aizawa adopts every single kid he meets”. And now the weather.

Joke aside, I do think Eraserhead likes his students, he’s just terribly demanding of them because of his... troublesome history with the superhero system. Does he train Shinsou on his work hours, though? There might be an issue with that as he’s not part of Class 1-A (yet) so spending that much time on training a kid instead of his own students might get Aizawa in trouble. My personal headcanon is that Nezu doesn’t mind because Mineta is inevitably going to get expelled and they’ll need another student to replace him.

@nemon0416 on Kaminari and the lack of a Nobel maths prize: (Link)

Denki. I hate to break it to you...

I think Kaminari’s still correct. The Nobel prize does not reward mathematicians because that field does not directly and immediately help Humanity in a practical, applicable way (this policy has been criticized over the years and does not reflect my own views on the matter).

Although the Fields medal and the Abel prize are commonly nicknamed “the Nobel prizes of mathematics” by journalists because they’re of equal prestige, these two awards are not affiliated with the Swedish Academy which chooses the Nobel laureates.

@samqui801 on the short-lived Todoroki family sitcom: (Link)

#the fuck is todavia todos todoroki#i mean the real name of the show

The backstory I imagined for this is that Endeavor wanted to build up his image as a “family values” superhero because that was the one thing he could do that All Might couldn’t. So his plan was to coerce his wife and children into playing fictionalized versions of themselves in a family sitcom he produced, wrote and directed himself. An unholy mix of “Full House” and “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. He chose to film it in Bolivia because he heard that country had a special tax loophole which allowed him not to pay child actors (in that case, his own children). However Bolivian law required Endeavor to produce the TV series under a Castillian name rather than a Japanese one. Annoyed, Endeavor simply opened a dictionary and looked for words beginning with “Tod-”. Hence “¡Todavía todos Todoroki!” was born... and cancelled after only one episode. Endeavor considers one of the most shameful failures of his career and turns red at the mere mention of it. However the pilot episode did not fall into obscurity as Endeavor as hoped. Instead it has developed a cult following similar to Tommy Wiseau’s “The Room”. Fans post memes of the ridiculous TV pilot all over the Internet and perform reenactment during live viewings. Natsuo sometimes attends them to recount his miserable experience filming the pilot and to throw some shade at his father. Shouto is however too young to remember the shoot as it was produced during his enfancy (when Enji was still trying to “make the marriage work”).

Wow, that was longer than I expected.

@cjgryffindor714 on Shotuo taking soba baths: (Link)

Don’t forget he only likes soba cold so he’s in a cold soba bath

Oh my gods, you are right. This is even less sexy than I envisioned.

@inbrightshadows on Shouto helping Inko plan her husband’s murder: (Link)

#also Inko: What kind of laser are we talking about?#have any gun recomendations?

Well Endeavor’s still alive so obviously Shouto can only recommand which guns to avoid when purchasing online.

@chr0nosaur on Iida’s birthday gift: (Link)

#imagine getting an alarm clock for ur birthday..

Well some people don’t have to imagine it. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

@theodericc on Sero being an underdog: (Link)

#sero isn't an underdog#he's amazing

I mean he’s an underdog in the sense that he’s really overlooked. Then again not being a protagonist also has its perks... I guess he doesn’t have to worry about having a tragic backstory and stuff. My fear is Horikoshi kills him off for easy drama.

@eduarddragonpaw on Todoroki playing Minecraft: (Link)

Weirdly I feel like this is what todoroki would do or call creepers :bakugoes"

I don’t know, Bakugou doesn’t seem to like giving hugs. Creepers definitely do.

@haisley on Shigaraki’s big speech: (Link)

#hes doing his best

Or his worst, depending on your point of view.

@emkamereon-kaiba on Rei also being a conspiracy theorist: (Link)

*inhales* THEORY-ROKIS

Plot twist: Dabi is not a Todoroki but started believing he was one because he read conspiracy theories on the Internet. Shouto and Rei also subscribe to the theory which involves a complex plot of Enji/Endeavor hyponitizing them to make them forget what Touya actually look like, and hiring an actor to play Touya. Heroes and villains have to make an alliance of circumstances to sit Dabi and the Todorokis down for an intervention and help the real Touya explain he’s not an actor.

@yuuri-katsuki-nikiforov on Midoriya’s step-dad: (Link)

Who is it?? The stepdad

For the sake of the joke, the stepdad is just an original character. In my mind he’s a lover Inko took while Hisashi was abroad and who started taking on a fatherly role out of convenience. He’s now more of a father to Midoriya than Hisashi, hence him refering to him as his “step-dad”.

@ghostintheshale on Toga wanting to skin Spinner for a handbag: (Link)

#if toga so much as points a knife in spinner's general direction i will personally stomp her to death with my hooves

In this house we stan A+ scalies/centaurs solidarity representation in the media, haters don’t interact!

@samqui801 on Iida’s dietary habits: (Link)

#maybe this is the reason why im not tall i didnt wash my bananas before i eat it#and i was blaming the lack of exercises when i was young

I think I remember a paper implying that eating banana skins increased the risks of cancer, so who knows?

[bonduniversity]

Exchange Survival Guide: Lyon, France

Hello readers! My name is Brayden and I am studying a Bachelor of Laws at Bond University. For my final semester, I wanted to go out with a bang, so I spent the semester abroad at Universite Catholique de Lyon (UCLy) in Lyon, France. This blog will give you an idea of the highs and lows of the experience and provide you with a clear and concise outline in order to be prepared and make the most of your experience.

Preparing to go

Travelling to France on a student visa is very easy, especially as an Australian. The first thing I did (not including the Bond University Exchange application) to prepare for my travels was look into my visa. However, the process is quick and painless if you have all the right documentation and they will provide you with your visa within 2 weeks. The hardest part about getting a French student visa is travelling to the Sydney consulate to hand in all your information because they do not accept the application at the Brisbane consulate or by email (ridiculous, right?). However, once that is done, all you have to do is sit back, relax and wait for your passport to arrive with the visa. One last note about the visa; make sure you provide an envelope with your address etc. so that they send it back to you, otherwise they will wait for you to pick it up (I made this mistake).

Contacting your host university 

I got in contact with my host university rather early, to ensure the process went smoothly and I suggest you do the same. We corresponded by email which was difficult regarding the language difference, but they are very helpful and will answer any questions you may have. However, even if there is a question that is just not resonating with them, the Bond University Exchange office can get in touch with them as well and get the necessary answer.

If you are travelling in the last semester of your degree, I suggest that you plan in advance and only have your general electives to do. I had three general electives and one law elective to complete and it was a little bit harder because I had to study in two separate faculties. This may cause delays and issues with receiving the academic transcript in time for graduation.

Credit point conversion 

The French Universities use a system called ECTS. Essentially 30 ECTS equals your 40 credit points or full-time load in Australia. Specifically, at UCLy the subjects can be as little as two ECTS for a single subject; so, depending on which subjects you choose you could potentially be studying approx. eight subjects for one semester. However, do not worry because that is a full-time load at French universities, so it is not abnormal.

Staying with a family 

I chose to stay with a family on my semester abroad so that I could learn the language. This was my main reason for choosing France. The process with UCLy was simple: you get in touch with the lodgement department of the University via email (email is on the UCLy website) and they will find you a family based on a questionnaire. This questionnaire will pair you with a family with similar interests, hobbies and take into account any requests you may have. The family I stayed with were absolutely sensational. They were the stereotypical French family who looked after me as if I was there child. The food was amazing and I definitely recommend considering this option for accommodation. The only downfall was that I lived about 40 minutes away from the University. However, the public transport in Lyon is very good so it was not too bad. If you decide to stay with a family and their name is Grivot-Bruhnes, then you are in luck and will have an amazing experience!

The University 

UCLy was a great university for partying, socialising and it was in a great location. The program for exchange students was….interesting. The organisation of the program was not great. It was difficult for many students to get their subjects right and the timetable changes weekly, so you really have to pay attention to your emails. However, in saying this, the University organises some great activities for you to participate in every Thursday.

Furthermore, even though you are a foreign student you have the opportunity to participate in all University activities and clubs. For example, I played rugby for the University. If you are a sporty person, I definitely recommend joining a team because it is a great way to immerse yourself in the French culture and language.

The exchange program

As I said above, the program provides numerous activities throughout the semester. These activities include:

Tours to small French towns

 Dinner with a French family

Cooking classes

Parties

Pub Crawls

International Dinners

I highly recommend doing as much as you can while on the exchange. The more immersed you become, the more you will get from the experience. The study is secondary when you are on exchange *wink*.

The city of Lyon

Lyon is a very beautiful city, which prides itself as being the art centre of France. It has some of the most awesome churches and traditional structures. However, the best part of the city is definitely the food, being Bouchon Lyonnais. The food is unique to the area and is delicious. Further, the biggest benefit of living in Lyon is the location. It is 2.5 hours from the Italian and Swiss border and about 6 hours by bus from the Spanish border. Therefore, there is a lot to do and see while you are there, so I recommend making a plan for what you want to see because the time will fly by at a ridiculously quick rate.

The one thing you have to get used to while in Lyon is the difference in culture and attitudes. The streets outside the tourist areas are, for the lack of a better word, creepy. So I suggest always walking around with a group, especially late at night.

Destinations to visit

Annecy

Chamonix

Paris

Nice

Monaco (Monte Carlo)

Amalfi Coast (Italy)

Normandy (if you like WWII history)

Tips and tricks

Due to the exchange rate, travelling around Europe is quite expensive as an Australian. If you are on a budget, I suggest catching buses/trains everywhere as flights can be very expensive. The bus company that I highly recommend is ‘Flixbus’. Flixbus have great buses with good seats and at a very low price (23 Euro for a ticket to Paris). I travelled with them to Paris, Amsterdam, Annecy and Geneva.

It is also very easy to rent a car. I rented a car with my friends and travelled to Chamonix. I was nervous to drive on the other side of the road, but it does not take long for you to get used to the difference.

Final words 

I hope this guide is helpful for you in making your decision or preparing to go to France. If you are unsure about whether to go or not, GO! It is honestly an insane experience. At the start of my trip, I wanted to go home because it was overwhelming and I missed my girlfriend and family, but I stuck it out and I am so glad I got past that moment. I met the most amazing people from all around the world and it is true that you make lifelong friends on exchange. I have heard that exchange is not for everyone, but I disagree. You will learn so much about yourself and create great connections and memories. It is difficult at times but the difficulties are worth it for the experience.

If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to ask. You can look me up on Facebook (Brayden Williams). I wish I had someone to consult with beforehand so please contact me if you need any advice.

Find out more about going on Exchange as part of your studies at Bond University.

[phroyd]

Reading this article, you see the similarity between right-Wing Orthodox Jewry and Fundamentalist Islam; THIS is why Israel has become an Apartheid, Fascist State, Right-Wing Religious Extremism! - Phroyd

BEIT SHEMESH, Israel — The slaughter of 11 Jews in Pittsburgh elicited responses in Israel that echoed the reactions to anti-Semitic killings in Paris, Toulouse and Brussels: expressions of sympathy, reminders that hatred of Jews is as rampant as ever, reaffirmations of the need for a strong Israel.

But Saturday’s massacre also brought to the surface painful political and theological disagreements tearing at the fabric of Israeli society and driving a wedge between Israelis and American Jews.

Israel’s Sephardic chief rabbi took pains to avoid the word “synagogue” to describe the scene of the crime — because it is not Orthodox, but Conservative, one of the liberal branches of Judaism that, despite their numerous adherents in the United States, are rejected by the religious authorities who determine the Jewish state’s definitions of Jewishness.

And the attacker’s anti-refugee, anti-Muslim fulminations on social media prompted some on the Israeli left — like many American Jewish liberals — to draw angry comparisons to views espoused by the increasingly nationalistic leaders who now hold sway in their governments.

The result has been a striking and lightning-fast politicization of the sort of tragedy that until now had only galvanized Jews across the world — not set them at one another’s throats.

Here in Israel, the decades-old animosity between left and right has reached new levels of enmity in recent years. Ultra-Orthodox parties that play a kingmaker’s role in the right-wing government are pressing to increase their influence and that of Jewish law on daily life, sparking bitter fights over everything from who serves in the military to whether trains can run and stores can open on the Sabbath. Jews from liberal American denominations feel increasingly alienated from Israel’s state-run religious life.

With the Israeli government, like many across Europe, also taking a decidedly nationalistic turn, the election of President Trump has only compounded that strife, widening the rift between Israeli and American Jews. Politically liberal American Jews have been repelled by Mr. Trump’s solid support for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, and by Mr. Netanyahu’s effusive embrace of Mr. Trump and his granting of a wish-list’s worth of political gifts. They range from scrapping the Iran nuclear agreement to repeatedly punishing the Palestinians and recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capital.

All of that, and more, bubbled up when one of Israel’s most influential politicians, Naftali Bennett, leader of the right-wing Jewish Home party, jumped on a plane to Pittsburgh in his capacity as minister of diaspora affairs. Mr. Bennett gave voice only to unifying ideals: “Together we stand, Americans, Israelis — people who are, together, saying no to hatred,” he told a vigil there Sunday night. “The murderer’s bullet does not stop to ask, ‘Are you Conservative or Reform, are you Orthodox? Are you right-wing or left-wing?’ It has one goal, and that is to kill innocent people. Innocent Jews.”

No sooner had Mr. Bennett’s plane departed Ben-Gurion Airport than he was assailed by liberal Israeli critics, who among other things resurfaced a 2012 Facebook post in which he had accused leftists of promoting “crime and rape in Tel Aviv” because they wanted to allow African migrants who had entered the country illegally to stay.

“Is the Trump-supporting, African-migrant-bashing Naftali Bennett really the best person to represent Israel in Pittsburgh right now?” wrote Anshel Pfeffer in Haaretz, the liberal daily.

Others cited a pro-Jewish Home party text message sent to Haifa residents in advance of Tuesday’s municipal elections. It warned Jewish voters fearful of “the flight of young Jews” and a “takeover” by “the sector”— shorthand for Israeli Arabs — to vote for the Jewish Home slate.

“That’s almost word-for-word the spirit of ‘Jews will not replace us,’” said Dahlia Scheindlin, a left-wing political consultant in Tel Aviv, recalling the chant of neo-Nazi marchers in Charlottesville, Va., in 2017.

Even Michael Oren, the American-born deputy minister from the right-of-center Kulanu party, faulted Mr. Bennett for having sided with the ultra-Orthodox Israeli rabbinate, which refuses to recognize non-Orthodox denominations as sufficiently Jewish to participate fully in Israeli religious life.

“Liberal Jews were Jewish enough to be murdered, but their stream is not Jewish enough to be recognized by the Jewish State,” Mr. Oren wrote in Hebrew on Twitter, adding: “I call on Minister Bennett not to suffice with condolences, but to recognize liberal Jewish streams and unite the people.”

On the right, veteran activists in Likud, Mr. Netanyahu’s party, circulated an email on Sunday ��� which Mr. Netanyahu’s aides and party leaders disavowed within hours — noting that the Pittsburgh killer had denounced the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society, which “encouraged immigration” and “acted against Trump.”

“Did we or did we not say that the Left is guilty of encouraging anti-Semitism?,” wrote the email’s author, who responded to queries but declined to identify himself.

Many Israelis, of course, reacted with horror and grief as they tuned into coverage of the Pittsburgh massacre. In Beit Shemesh, a largely ultra-Orthodox city 20 minutes west of Jerusalem, Elisheva Gutman, 24, a social worker, said her parents had vacationed in Pittsburgh two weeks earlier and had attended Sabbath services down the street from the Tree of Life synagogue, the killing site. “When they go to Europe, my father takes off his kipa and puts on a hat,” for fear of attack, Ms. Gutman said. “It’s not supposed to be that way in the U.S.”

Chaim Zaid, 62, a paramedic from Kedumim, a West Bank settlement, said the shooting belied Israelis’ ideas of the United States as a “paradise” for Jews. “You think the big U.S., with the big F.B.I., will protect them, and nothing will change,” he said. “But that was a change point. My sister lives in Brooklyn and was afraid to come to my home. So Sunday morning I sent her a message: ‘Rivka, you were afraid to come to me?’”

If other Israelis were quick to score political points over the Pittsburgh killings, though, in a sense they had been preparing for this moment. The disagreements between American and Israeli Jews have been piling up.

Only last week, the Jewish Federations of North America’s yearly General Assembly drew hundreds of Americans to Tel Aviv for a three-day conference focused on the strains in the relationship, titled “We Need to Talk.”

In a provocative keynote, the head of Israel’s largest real estate company, Danna Azrieli, recited the litany of friction points. For Americans, she said, there are Mr. Netanyahu’s effusive embrace of Mr. Trump, whom most American Jews oppose; the Israeli occupation and Jewish settlements on the West Bank, which many American Jews believe block peace with the Palestinians; Mr. Netanyahu’s reneging on a deal last year to significantly upgrade and grant equal status to a mixed-gender, Reform and Conservative prayer space at the Western Wall; and Israel’s new nation-state law, which opponents call racist and anti-democratic because it enshrines the right of national self-determination in Israel as “unique to the Jewish people.”

For Israelis, Ms. Azrieli said, Americans don’t serve in the Israeli army, pay Israeli taxes or live under the threat of rockets, but also don’t let those realities stop them from trying to impose their views on Israelis.

Long as it was, that list had big omissions. Israelis on the left would add, at a minimum, the Netanyahu government’s warming up to increasingly authoritarian leaders in countries like Hungary and Poland, and its demonization of the Hungarian-born, liberal Jewish financier George Soros — who also is a frequent target of anti-Semitic attacks in the United States and Europe — for underwriting activist groups that oppose Mr. Netanyahu’s policies. Mr. Netanyahu’s own son even posted a meme attacking Mr. Soros with anti-Semitic imagery that drew praise from the likes of David Duke.

And Israelis on the right would add their lingering resentment of American Jews’ support for the Iran nuclear deal struck by President Obama, which Israelis saw as a matter of survival, according to the author Yossi Klein Halevi, a New York-born Jerusalemite.

Mr. Halevi, a senior fellow at the Shalom Hartman Institute, said the Pittsburgh shootings had exposed an even deeper and more worrisome divide between the two populations. “Each sees the other as in some sense threatening its most basic well-being,” he said. “American Jews don’t understand the depth of the Israeli sense of betrayal over the Iran deal. And Israelis don’t understand why American Jews regard Trump as a life-and-death threat to the liberal society that allowed American Jewry to become the most successful minority in Jewish history.”

How damaged is the relationship? In her keynote, Ms. Azrieli felt compelled to plead, “Don’t give up on our country,” adding: “Don’t walk away because your liberal sensibilities are insulted. Don’t assume that nothing can change. Things do change — just painfully, slowly, incrementally, and with all of our help.”

And yet among Israeli leaders, some already have given up on American Jews, said Mr. Oren, the deputy minister and a former Israeli ambassador in Washington, who also cited some American Jews’ opposition to President Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital.

“One school of thought is: ‘These are our people, we have to do everything possible to reach out.’ The second school says:, ‘It’s too late, they’re gone. After Iran, after Jerusalem, if we have limited resources we should invest in our base — evangelicals and the Orthodox.’”

“The first school, which is mine, is a beleaguered school,” Mr. Oren said. “The burden of doubt is on us; we have to prove that we’re still correct. It’s not easy.”

In Beit Shemesh, Zion Cohen, 66, a mall manager, lamented the acrimony. “I’m Likud, but what’s happened between Israel and America, I’m against it,” he said. “I know it’s painful to Jews in America how Israel acts toward them. The influence of the Orthodox and Haredim on the Israeli government is a catastrophe. And we need help from the Jews of the U.S., especially given how much anti-Semitism there is now in the world.”

He added: “We have to unite the whole Jewish people.”

Correction: October 30, 2018

An earlier version of a picture caption with this article misspelled the surname of man shown standing in front of a mall in Beit Shemesh. He is Eli Peretz, not Teretz.

Phroyd

[projectclockwurk]

Perfect Men

They always said that in the future, robots would replace people. They weren’t entirely wrong.

About ten years ago the robotics company FutureLight launched PerfectMen, a series of male androids that are so lifelike you can’t tell the difference between them and real men unless you find the barcode printed on the back of their neck. Or hit them hard enough you feel their endoskeleton but that is not advised unless you want to shatter the bones in your hand.

They were advertised like mad. There would be the standard floor models and then tailored models. Those were as one might expect, androids that people could ask the company to create for them to make their very own perfect guy. The guy of their wildest dreams.

The company also boasted how their androids were special. They had sentience. They had dreams and desires. Ambitions and the like and that they were allowed to develop their own personalities, as long as it was positive, anyway.

As one might expect of the human race, PerfectMen became a huge hit. Most everybody wanted one, a lot of people even replacing husbands and boyfriends they were dissatisfied with with the androids.

They were so kind and handsome, so accommodating, and best of all if you were a woman, as much unprotected sex as you wanted without the fear of getting pregnant.

But it wasn’t long before hate crimes against the androids started. Pissed off men took out their anger on them and then they’d end up being taken into police custody for their trouble because as far as the law was concerned, destroying somebody’s PerfectMen was destruction of property.

Along with the rise in crime came Android Rights Groups who advocated to stop the dehumanizing of the PerfectMen, claiming that because they were sentient, they were people.

Shockingly, it took two years before some States and countries began to pass bills stating that PerfectMen were indeed people.

Today, those groups are still advocating, hate crimes are at a decline, and PerfectMen are still popular…and perfect.

ALABAMA BECOMES FIRST SOUTHERN STATE TO PASS BILL FREEING PERFECTMEN ANDROIDS

That was the headline that greeted me one morning on the train to work. I was surprised by it. Alabama had beaten New York to such an action. We were still holding fast to the whole property thing even when Massachusetts and Connecticut had passed their bills over a year ago to free them.

I didn’t get it. Sure, I had thought of buying one myself when they had first launched but in the end I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

With a sigh, I opened the paper and began to read about something else, something about produce prices rising. Just a little thing to get my mind off of how New York was falling behind. It wasn’t a particularly interesting read but I kept on it until the door to my passenger room opened.

I glanced up to see a tall man entering. He was puffing on a cigarette and it was only then I noticed I hadn’t been placed into a no smoking room.

Damn, I thought.

The man was wearing a bespoke suit and his black hair was short and neat. He smiled at me around his cigarette before turning to put his suitcase under the seat. It gave me a quick view of his neck where I could see the unmistakable sight of a barcode printed on it.

A PerfectMen; I should have guessed when I saw his face. Not a single damn blemish on the alabaster skin. The way his smile was equal on both sides and his eyes were an almost unnatural blue. All android eyes seemed to be brighter than was normal.

They were all tall too. The shortest ones came in at 5’10” while the tallest were 6’8”. He was definitely at least 6’2”. Nearly a full foot taller than me.

When he took his seat, cigarette still in his mouth, he was holding a book, the title of which I only caught a glimpse of when he opened it to begin reading.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

The irony would not be lost on anyone and I wondered if the reason he was reading it was for the irony.

I must have been staring for a long time because at some point he looked up at me, eyebrow raised.

“I have my papers stating that I’m free if you want to see them.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been staring at me for awhile now. The only people who really do that are ones wondering if I have my papers.”

“Oh, no, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. I trust you’re free.”

“If my presence is troubling you, I can move to another room.”

“You’re not bothering me. I was just a little surprised. Don’t see many androids without a human with them. Free androids don’t come here much.”

“Can you blame us?”

“Not really,” I said just before a trail of smoke reached my nose, making it wrinkle in disgust.

“My cigarette seems to be bothering you, however.”

“Just a bit, yeah. I meant to go into a non-smoking room but I guess I wasn’t paying that much attention.”

“Not a problem,” he replied before putting it out.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” he responded, giving me another warm smile. I couldn’t help but return it.

“So…what brings you to New York?”

“Work,” he said.

“Wow, really? I mean, I heard some companies here were going to start offering jobs to free androids as well but I had no idea they had started.”

“The company that offered me the job is the first. I thought it might be a good business opportunity.”

I nodded. “Won’t it be strange working with androids that aren’t free?”

“Not at all,” he started. “It may be strange but they’re still essentially free. They can do as they wish; they simply cannot leave who they are with.”

“Yeah, androids must have a different view on what being essentially free is.”

He laughed at that. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Which brings me to another thought,” I voiced when his laughter had died down.

“Yes?”

“Why smoke? It doesn’t affect you guys like it does humans.”

“It is so we feel more human.”

I didn’t know what to say to that and so I fell quiet and so did he. Instead of going back to his book, his eyes glazed over and that got me to stare again. I had never actually seen an android tap into Wi-Fi before. I wondered if he’d register anything while he was doing so and got my answer when the train stopped and his eyes went back to normal.

As we stepped out onto the platform, I turned to him and extended my hand which he took in his.

“It was nice to meet you, by the way. I’m Rebecca Blaire. And you?”

“Pleasure is all mine, Ms. Blaire. My name is Matthew.”

Of course. PerfectMen tended to have nice names. He was no exception to the seemingly silent rule of android naming.

“Where are you going, Matthew?”

“AstroTech,” he replied.

“Macro Security,” I said, answering the question in his eyes. He nodded in satisfaction and then we parted ways with a soft goodbye.

There was something about Matthew that kept me thinking about him in the days that followed. He was charming. I guess that was the point. They were meant to be. They were meant to draw you in in moments. At least, I was pretty sure they were. Isn’t that why they were so popular?

The next time we met was in Times Square when I was heading to a little Thai food place. He was talking to another android, a dark skinned one with a deep laugh and glittering hazel eyes that I immediately recognized as being my friend Claudie’s boyfriend. He was a free android as well that had travelled with Claudie from Maine when she got a new job.

“Hi, Joshua,” I said, butting into their conversation during a lull in it.

“Hello, Rebecca.”

“How many times have I told you to call me Becca?”

“How many times have I told you to call me Josh?”

“Touché,” I said before glancing to the other android. “Matthew.”

“Ms. Blaire.”

“You know each other?”

“Ms. Blaire and I met on the train four days, eight hours, and six minutes ago.” I had forgotten how androids would give you a full time stamp like that and laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, that,” I said. “How did you two meet?”

“At work,” Josh replied. I gave him a surprised look. “Did you not get Claudie’s message?”

“Um,” I cleared my throat and rubbed the back of my neck. “In all honesty, I haven’t checked my phone messages in a few days. But…congratulations.”

“Thank you. Anyway, I should get home. I only came here to get dinner before Matthew stopped me to talk. I’ll see you two later.”

Matthew and I bid Josh farewell before Matthew turned fully towards me.

“It’s nice to see you again, Miss Blaire.”

“Becca, please,” I said. “It’s nice to see you too.”

“I hope this is not me being overly forward but I have not been able to stop thinking about you these last few days.”

“Honestly, same here.”

His face lit up at that. “Could I take you out to dinner sometime?”

“I’d like that.”

“Excellent.”

That dinner was the first of many and in a few short months, Matthew and I began to live together. He moved into my place, I being a little too attached to it and from what Matthew said, outside of people and their charging stations, androids don’t get attached to too much.

Life was good. I would wake up in the mornings and Matthew would already have breakfast and coffee out and the paper ready. We watched TV at night while we discussed our days. The sex was the best I’d ever had.

I was happy and Matthew was too but I felt bad about him cooking all the time and doing nice things for me. I felt like my small acts of kindness towards him were nothing in comparison and so one morning I decided to start to make up for it.

“How about I cook dinner tonight?”

“You know I don’t mind cooking.”

“I know that but you have to understand that while you may be part of the PerfectMen line, you can stop being a perfect man every so often. Please?”

“Okay, okay,” he laughed. “You can cook dinner tonight as long as I still get to cook breakfast in the morning.”

“Deal.”

Nothing out of the ordinary happened the rest of the day until I got back home from work with the groceries. Matthew was bent over the kitchen island like he was in pain.

“Matthew?” I said, concern evident in my voice. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, correcting his posture and moving away. He took five steps before his eyes went completely blank and he began to fall. I rushed forward to catch him, the weight of him practically bringing me down to the floor.

I managed to drag him into the bedroom and heave him up-one half at a time-onto the bed to put his charging visor on him and turn it on. The word ‘rebooting’ appeared and I didn’t like that. It didn’t make sense. He had just charged last night; he shouldn’t have failed like this.

My phone rang a minute later. Claudie was on the other end, hysterical.

“Josh just shut down! He collapsed right in our living room a second ago. I put his charging visor on but it says rebooting!?”

“Matthew collapsed too.”

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. It could be a glitch.”

“Do you think they’ll recall them?”

“No. At least, I hope not. Look, if this happened to our boys, it probably happened to others. Let’s keep an eye on the news, yeah?”

“Okay. I really don’t want to lose Josh, Becca.”

“I know. I don’t want to lose Matthew either.”

While he was left to boot up again, I turned on the news, waiting for something to come on and just as I was dozing off hours later, a story came on concerning the situation.

“Today, thousands of PerfectMen experienced a glitch, causing them to collapse and requiring them to be rebooted and charged. A panic quickly arose, all those with PerfectMen wanting an answer to such a widespread event. When asked about it, the CEO of FutureLight, Dr. Taylor Peters, said ‘there is nothing to be concerned about. It was a temporary failure in the system within the company that accidentally was transmitted to thousands of PerfectMen but we quickly found the problem and corrected it. We extend our deepest apologies to all PerfectMen and their loved ones.’ Dr. Peters has said that extra precautions will be taken to ensure another event like this does not happen again.”

I sighed with relief. Matthew was going to be okay. I guess I shouldn’t have been too worried. PerfectMen are androids. They are made up of electrical currents much like we are but theirs leave them open to things like this. At least their glitches could be worked on.

Matthew was fine by the morning. He was up and about, his usual chipper attitude in place and I was at ease. I let the worry from the previous night was away and I took Matthew out to the movies and dinner. I wanted to treat him after his shutdown even if he didn’t remember it.

That was the only day things were fine after the event.

It was subtle but over the course of the next few days, I noticed Matthew’s behavior began to change.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I just want to hold you.”

“You’re holding me a little tight,” I complained, his arms giving me barely any wiggle room. It was beginning to ache. He never held me this tight.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I replied. “Just…be careful, please. I’m not as sturdy as you,” I joked.

Something dark flashed in his eyes and his mouth turned into a frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said, his face suddenly changing again to a more happy expression. “Why would anything be wrong?”

“…No reason. Sometimes people just ask.”

“Oh.”

I tried to ignore it until I went out to a business dinner with a male colleague one day. Upon returning home, Matthew wrapped his arms around me tightly from behind, crushing my back to his front, one arm gripping me around my hips while the hand on his other one caressed my cheek.

“Where were you?”

“Out,” I responded, feeling uncomfortable. I was sure my hips were going to bruise.

“With whom?” he asked.

“Somebody from work,” I said.

“A woman?”

“No, a man.”

His hand stilled.

“What were you doing?”

“Just discussing business.”

“Do you want him?”

“No,” I scoffed.

“Good, because you’re mine,” he said.

“Let go of me.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“I thought you liked it when I held you.”

“Let go, Matthew.”

“No.”

“Let go!” I shouted, shoving away from him. He looked like a kicked puppy from the glimpse of his face I caught before stomping into the living room and laying down on the couch. I didn’t know what had gotten into him but I didn’t like it.

“Becca, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” he said, sitting down next to me. He didn’t put his hands on me for which I was grateful. “Do you forgive me?”

“…I guess.”

“I really am sorry. I promise I’ll go to one of those tech clinics and have them see what’s going on with me. I don’t want to scare you.”

“Okay,” I said. “I forgive you.” He smiled at that.

I should have known it was a lie.

He climbed over me the next night on the couch and I raised an eyebrow at him.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” he said, reaching for my waistband of my sleep shorts.

“Stop that. I’m not in the mood; I had a long day at work.”

“I’m sure I can put you in the mood.”

“I said stop, Matthew!”

He didn’t seem to listen and fight or flight took over me, resulting in me kicking him in the chest just hard enough to stun him that I would do such a thing but not enough where I’d injure myself. I darted out from under him but before I could go far, one of his hands wrapped around my wrist, gripping tight enough that I cried out in pain.

“What is wrong with you?” he hissed.

“What’s wrong with me!? What the fuck is wrong with you!? You didn’t go to that clinic, did you!?”

“Why would I?”

“Because there is something seriously fucked with you!”

“I’m fine, I don’t have flaws. I’m not designed to have any. Maybe there’s something wrong with you.” He let me go and I rushed for the bedroom but he was close behind and slammed me against the wall, his arms landing on either side of my head.

“Why are you being such a fucking bitch?” he asked with an unsettling calmness to his voice. I only stared at him, mouth agape and wide eyed. I had never heard him or any android swear before. I was almost positive they weren’t capable of it.

“Get out,” I said. “Get the hell out.”

“No.”

“Get out!” I screamed in his face. He punched a hole into the wall and I flinched.

“Scream at me again and you won’t have vocal cords much longer.”

I ducked down then, going under his arm and launching myself into the bedroom, locking the door behind me. I tore through my things in search of my phone while Matthew pounded at the door.

“Claudie,” I whispered harshly when she picked up. “I’m so scared. There’s something wrong with Matthew. He’s getting violent.”

“So is Josh,” she said, her voice choked up. “I tried to call the police but they’re all over taking care of other androids like this. I’m afraid he’s going to kill me.”

“Claudie, no, you’re not going to die. Neither of us is, I promise.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m going to get out of here and then I’m coming to get you, okay?”

“Becca, please, don’t. You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“I just have to be careful. Stay where you are, sweetie. I love you.”

“Love you too, Becca. Please hurry.”

It was only after I hung up that I realized the pounding at the door had stopped. Putting my phone away, I began to search for a weapon.

Of course nothing in the bedroom could act as one so I went into the en suite bathroom and managed to unscrew one of the pipes from under the sink. Water gushed out, soaking my legs before I could dodge it. I dried my legs off before going back into the bedroom and unlocking the door.

The apartment was pitch black.

Fuck, I thought. Matthew must have turned out the lights so I wouldn’t be able to see while he’d be able to as clear as day.

Swallowing, I slowly crept into the living room, pipe held tight in my hands, ready to strike. I kept my movements light and took long strides.

They say when you’re deprived of one of your senses the others enhance to make up for it. That must be true because while I had never noticed Matthew’s footsteps before, I did now. I heard movement from the kitchen and quickly and as quietly as possible hid behind the couch.

“Becca,” he said, voice low. “Where are you? Come on out, honey. Let’s talk.”

Fuck you, I thought.

“You know what my desire is? I want to make you like me. Doesn’t that sound lovely? Don’t you want that? We can be together forever. You won’t have to age. I just have to pull you apart first.”

I felt like I was going to be sick. I brought my hands over my mouth and held my breath as he passed by me. I became acutely aware of my own heartbeat in that moment and I was afraid he’d hear it too it sounded so loud but then he was gone and I waited just a few more seconds before I began to breathe again.

Slowly, I made my way out from my hiding spot only for a hand to grab my ankle. I screamed and swung the pipe outwards, the sound of steal hitting flesh and whatever the hell metal androids were made of ringing out through the apartment. His hand disappeared then and I scrambled away, running into the kitchen and hiding this time behind the island.

“Becca!” he yelled, the sound like a gunshot in the silence of the apartment. “Why do you have to be so fucking difficult!? I’ve done everything for you, you ungrateful whore. But I suppose I shouldn’t be too hard on you. It’s in your nature, after all. All you humans are the same. You’re all so selfish.”

Shut up.

I heard him getting closer again and I waited.

“When I find you, I swear, I’m going to-”

I moved out of my hiding space, swinging the pipe again and smashing him on the face, half of the synthetic skin ripping away and landing with a disgusting wet sound onto the floor. I did the same with his chest and then his knee, bringing him down momentarily while I darted for the control room in the apartment.

I flipped the light on and closed the door before hurrying to cut away one of the power lines to expose the wires.

I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to accomplish this before he got up and moving again but when the line was cut and protective casing drawn back some, I sat in wait for the door to open.

And I waited and I waited. My heart kept pounding, blood rushing through my ears as I just waited for Matthew to open that door.

I tried to compose myself and when I took in a deep breath and gripped the cable hard, something overtook me, some sort of determination I hadn’t felt before in my life and when that door finally did fly open, I did not hesitate to jam the cable into the exposed endoskeleton in Matthew’s chest, causing a huge electrical current to shoot through him.

I watched, unblinking as he convulsed violently before collapsing, smoke rolling off his body.

When I was sure he was down for good, I rushed back into the bedroom to call Claudie who informed me the police had arrived at her apartment and tazed Josh but not to the point of putting him down. No, it was a mild shock and he turned back to normal.

I didn’t tell her about Matthew, instead being happy for her and Josh and thankful she was safe. It was only after I hung up that I broke down, the shock of what had just happened that night finally catching up to me.

I stayed curled up on the floor till morning.

I’m convinced somebody tampered with the androids. Whatever that event was, I don’t think it was an accident at all. I’m determined to prove it.

In the weeks that followed that event, I managed to get a job at FutureLight. If I want to prove that somebody had caused such a change it would be easier to do it from the inside.

I’m keeping Matthew’s body in the control room for now. It’s locked up. Apparently not all the androids were brought back to normal via small shocks let alone big ones and an actual fix has yet to be found. So until then, he’s going to be out of commission.

I read over my journal entry with satisfaction before closing my computer and putting it away.

As I get up from the bed, I notice Matthew’s charging station has come on. A word in green flashes onto the screen.

Online.

And then I hear from the control room:

“Becca.”

[ezairick]

Unpopular opinions about NCIS

When NCIS first began, I loved the show. It had interesting characters and cases, and there was more focus on the interaction of the characters than with the other relatively new show, CSI. This didn’t mean I was blind to problems with the show, but they were relatively minor compared to the show just a few seasons later. The small problems became big problems and though the show can still be entertaining, though I must admit that I haven’t watched any of the newer episodes after Tony left, so can’t speak to anything after that.

The cases themselves changed. For the first two seasons, while they certainly dealt with terrorism, the cases of the first two season were mainly crimes committed by ordinary people because of grief, love, envy, money, stupidity and so on. However, ever since Ziva joined the team, it felt like every case was about terrorism. I know that is not entirely true, but it seemed like every episode started with a bomb going off, and then instead of an interesting episode of guessing who could have done the murder, and why, now you instead wondered which terrorist group was going to get mentioned this time, and for what ideology. And honestly, it got boring real fast.

Which brings me to the characters of the show.

Gibbs is probably the most iconic character on the show, but let’s be honest, if NCIS was real he would have been fired years ago. Comparing Gibbs of season 1 and 2 to the rest of the show, it is easy to see that Gibbs was changed, and not just because of the amnesia. He was always a bastard but in the first two seasons, he had more principles, he didn’t break the law, he certainly bent it but he didn’t break it, and he didn’t commit crimes or let others get away with it. The whole plot surrounding his Shannon and Kelly, and murdering the guy who killed them, was not thought up, before the change in the management, which happened between season 2 and 3.

There are many issues with Gibbs, some of which were there from the start. There is his behaviour towards his team. No one should be allowed to head slap a colleague, besides being abusive it shows disrespect. And I feel this is part of the reason that Kate, McGee, and Ziva did not take DiNozzo seriously. Another reason for this is that Gibbs set DiNozzo up for fail. Because he created a flat structure, McGee and Ziva saw themselves equal to DiNozzo in terms of rank, even though he was the Senior Field Agent. And as the SFA he was supposed to be in charge when Gibbs wasn’t there but because Gibbs didn’t respect the position, and treated all three as if they were of equal rank, DiNozzo was often undermined by the others, and therefore incapable of doing part of his job.

Though Gibbs took pride in being a bastard, he should never have been allowed to run his team, like that, nor should he have been allowed to keep them at work for so many hours as he did. After all agents who haven’t slept nor eaten are far more likely to commit serious mistakes. Another difference between the first two seasons and later is that in the first two seasons we often see Gibbs, helping with the collection of evidence, sketching, and taking photos, but now he just mainly stand around asking, Ducky for a time of death, and drink coffee.

Further, just why is it Gibbs is treated like a god at NCIS? The directors of NCIS, except for Tom Morrow, who kept Gibbs at his proper place as the team leader of MCRT, though if truly proper place he should just have fired him, Jenny and Vance seem to treat Gibbs as if he can do nothing wrong, even when he is causing more problems. Gibbs completely run over them and acts like he is the director of NCIS and everything must go his way, and what is worse the directors let him. He is constantly given access to things he should not, and make decisions way above his pay grade. He is treated more like a co-director than anything else. And this is the same guy, who killed the man who killed his family, way to start your law enforcement career, who helped Mike Franks smuggle in immigrants, again not necessarily bad but he works for a law enforcement agency, allowed Mike Franks to not only get away with assaulting his agent, DiNozzo, but also allowed him to get away with murder, seriously the only way you can tell Gibbs is supposed to be the good guy, is that he has a badge.

Gibbs also constantly live by the rule – Do as I say not as I do – and as seen requiem it nearly let to the death of himself and a civilian, but he didn’t seem to have learned anything from that.

The team might have the highest closing rates, because of Gibbs, but it will naturally also have the lowest conviction rates of any teams at NCIS. I know we don’t get to see the aftermath of a case after Gibbs have gotten his confession, but if we did it would be of a flustered prosecutor, trying to convince the jury that the guy at trial is a bad guy, because Gibbs said he is. And that would be what the prosecutor had to work with, when trying to get a conviction. Gibbs often don’t have the time to get a warrant, even seems to think he is above such things, but that means that everything they find in the houses or other privately owned places they enter without warrants Is inadmissible in court and so is everything else found based on those finds. And the same applies with McGee’s and Abby’s hacking. Further the confession can be tossed because of Gibbs threatening behaviour in the interrogation room.

Gibbs is mostly known for being a bastard and seems to take pride in it, but how can he be such a role model, and why don’t the show realise that there is something wrong with having a team leader, who treats his team with disrespect, especially DiNozzo, who has serious issues with control, as in throwing tantrums when not the person in control of things, a person who is willing to actively sabotage other people’s cases just so he can close his case, and a person who seems incapable of handling any form of competition, and always have to be the best, in his own definition of the word.

For Tony DiNozzo I would like to give a huge shout out to Michael Weatherly, who managed to make Tony a comprehensive and cohesive character despite his character either being a complete moron only there as the comic relief, or an extremely competent investigator, lightyears ahead of the others, depending on who wrote the script for that week, so props to that. Tony is my favourite character on the show, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand when people see him as annoying. He can be. He is constantly going through people’s things, and he wants to know everything he can about them and what they are doing. He also plays various pranks on his team mates, however he is not abusing nor bullying the others. Those descriptions fit Abby, Ziva, and McGee better.

Starting in season 3 DiNozzo has been dumbed down to, I suspect, make the other characters look that much more impressive. Despite this DiNozzo is still the best at investigating, also when you look at their educations. Phys. Ed. Isn’t just about sports, they are also required to know anatomy and psychology, add to that his many years in law enforcement as a detective. On the other hand, Ziva and McGee, who both had a few seasons where they seemed to think that they are so much better than DiNozzo, and were more suited to be the SFA, are actually less prepared to be investigators. McGee is a better fit for the Cyber Crime Unit as that is all his education qualifies him for, and though Ziva was trained by the Mossad, they are not an investigation agency, they do espionage. That is like saying because I ride horses, and horses are often on grass fields, I must be exceptional at golf, because it also takes place on grass. Besides as a liaison officer assigned to NCIS she would never have been made SFA, nor should she ever have been allowed on the team. I sort of like Ziva, but every time I start really liking her, the writers pulled a new stunt, that just worked against her. And unlike McGee and Abby we didn’t have those seasons and episodes to help us like her more.

I talked before about how Abby, McGee, and Ziva were bullies without explaining how. Now as before I stated that DiNozzo could be annoying and I can certainly see that and understand how that can be frustrating having to work with him, but DiNozzo has never questioned the qualifications of his fellow colleagues, which those three have done repeatedly, or said that the only reason they had the position they had was because of how long they had been there and not because they were qualified and competent, nor has he ever considered them incompetent and incapable of doing their jobs, Abby and her training stickers amongst general statements made by the others. He has never second guessed them in front of witnesses or argued with them about his work in front of other colleagues or witnesses. He has never pulled a gun on them and threatened to shoot them, and he has never ever left them without backup and then treated that significant breach in trust as a joke. If I had to choose I would rather work with someone who could be annoying than work with people who routinely questioned my ability to do my job and my position on the team.

I actually like Bishop, it took a while to settle her character, but she is not as antagonistic as Ziva and Kate, which makes for a nice change, and she seems to respect the chain of command. The show has settled down some between Tony, McGee, Ellie, as there aren’t as much in fighting and backstabbing as there was before with Ziva, and to some respect Kate, on the team. It’s nice that the team can be seen more like friends instead of colleagues who hate each other. 

Ziva and McGee broke the fundamental rule of law enforcement, you don’t leave your partner without backup, which they did in the episode Dead Air, and for the rest of the episode it was treated like the greatest joke ever, after all, leaving your partner unable to call for help should he need it, when looking for a terrorist who has already killed three people and are saying that more are to come, is just do damn funny. I will say I have read some fanfiction dealing with this episode, and though for the most part I like them, one thing that puzzles me about it, is that the authors of these stories often put the majority of the blame on Ziva and then redeem McGee. I think the reason for that is that as I stated before that we have episodes of naïve baby McGee who listened to Tony to fall back on, while Ziva started out as the sister of Ari, who killed Kate, and a short time later, was the new colleague who thought it a good idea to invite every person of the extended team except Tony, and then the woman who refused to give vital information to Tony, and instead decided that she would only tell Gibbs about Rivkin, and then as the grieving woman who pulled a gun on Tony, to the woman who paid Tony back for saving her from Somalia by leaving him without backup. Unless you’re a Ziva or Tiva fan it is easy to see why she gets the punishment while McGee who is just as guilty is given redemption.

Which brings me to the bane of NCIS: Tiva. I get it, both Tony and Ziva are played by attractive people, and the writers certainly ended up pushing it down our throats. Or at least for us who don’t like Tiva. Normally I get that people have different tastes and therefore ship different pairings, and I am fine with that. I am not the shipping police, but let’s be honest when it comes to Tiva, it’s just plain wrong. If Ziva was played by someone not attractive or it was Tony who had pulled all that shit on Ziva instead of the other way around, people would have been busy shouting about the obvious abusive relationship, but it is not so and instead the relationship seem to be a fan favourite.

I have never understood that and especially after Dead Air. How can you possible justify a loving and respectful relationship between them when Ziva was very much willing to let Tony die, when she left him without backup. How can there be a relationship between them, a good healthy and respectful relationship, when it is obvious from just watching a few episodes that Ziva does not in any way respect Tony nor respect his position on the team? If you are unable to respect your partner at work, then how can you possibly respect them at home? And why would they even be together? Why would Ziva be with Tony when she doesn’t respect Tony at work, and routinely disrespect him and questions his competence and orders? And why would Tony like someone who doesn’t respect him, has pulled a gun on him, have actually shot him, although by mistake, and someone who left him without backup and then laughed about it?

There are many more things that are bugging me about NCIS, but this is the end of this rant. Sorry for the ramblings.

[seventyfiveapples]

Shaken

Bright / Nick Jakoby x OFC

Chapter 7

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

Career Day was finally here!

Lucy watched Nick make his way toward the school's front doors, almost an hour before any of the other speakers. Because of course he was. As he walked up the sidewalk to the school, Lucy took a minute to appreciate his attractive build as he moved: a confident gait that was almost a swagger, his police uniform taut across his powerful form. She noticed that he was carrying a small wrapped gift in one hand. As she turned to go back to her desk, she saw that she wasn’t the only one paying attention: Half of her class were gathered around the windows, watching and making comments:“Oh wow… that's really him!”

“What a SNACK.”

“Look at his thighs, you guys. I mean just look at them.”

“OKAY guys!” Lucy called, grabbing their attention. “Officer Jakoby is our guest today. Be respectful. Have a seat, please.”

Today’s other speakers included a few parents who worked in real estate and business, an elf fashion designer, a Brezzik who was one of the current hosts of Antiques Road Show, and a few members of an up and coming band who had just had their first big hit song.

But Officer Jakoby was the one the school was really excited about. As the first orc policeman in the nation, he was seen among these students as a groundbreaker and kind of an icon for Orc equality. For those students who had misgivings about the police, his hiring was a sign of hope: maybe things would change with a more diverse police force. 

For the whole student body, his speech would be today's main attraction.

She couldn’t wait to see his face when he found that out

.***

Yesterday, Lucy had awoken at Nick's house to a breakfast of pancakes and scrambled eggs. She'd hoped to stay a bit longer, and maybe pick up where they had left off from the previous night, but she got a call from Billie that something was wrong at their house. Billie was trying to downplay it, but Lucy knew she should leave. She left Nick with a lingering kiss and told him she hoped to see him again very soon.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" he asked.

"Career Day - yes! Just check in at the front office a few minutes before 9:00am."

"I'm looking forward to it. Let me know if you need any help back at home."

She was a nervous wreck as she drove back. Had Dave broken into their home? She found her front door had been kicked in, and for a moment she swore she felt her heart stop in her chest. To her surprise, Billie looked more annoyed than anything else. 

"My dumbass brothers - they had a little party last night and one of their "guests" got confused - by which I mean plastered - and thought this was their place."

"Sorry, Billie!" called Sid, who was in the front yard, helping to clean up the broken glass.

"Don't be sorry, just don't be stupid! I don't want your knucklehead friends breaking my house!" Billie threw a roll of paper towels at him from inside. It missed Sid but rolled underneath Lucy's car.

She went to retrieve it and saw an odd blinking red light that she knew shouldn't be there: a tracking device.

Shit.

Ward and Jakoby would have told her if this was the work of the LAPD. It must be Dave... how long had it been there? She felt a chill as she got ready to call Nick.

***

On Monday morning, Nick walked into the school with a stomach full of butterflies, both nervous to speak to a group and excited to see Lucy. He thought the air smelled odd - it reminded him of something he'd sensed on the day of his smoothie date with Lucy - but he disregarded it for the moment.

As he entered the school, all other thoughts halted as he immediately felt dozens of pairs of eyes fall on him. He swallowed and tried to project an air of confidence, but suddenly he felt just like he did when he was a student himself: conspicuous, out of place, wrong.

Was this a mistake?

Then slowly, a sound started to spread through the halls. First once, then again, then. It was so disorienting that it took him a minute to register the sound of applause.

Applause?

The students were giving him a round of applause. He really couldn't believe it. There were a few shouts mixed in as well: "woo!" "Yeah, Officer Jakoby!" He tried to stifle a smile as he nodded here and there to the students he made eye contact with as he made his way to check in at the office.

***

Nick started a bit rocky due to nerves. He knocked over a stool placed on the stage in the auditorium and nearly knocked over the microphone stand while righting it.

Once he started speaking, however, his nerves melted away. He told them all about his decision to become an officer (not the full version he'd shared with Lucy on their date), the education and training that was needed, and what a typical day on duty was like. His honesty and earnest demeanor were magnetic and the students hung on every word. His genuine love for his work shined through all he said.

After his presentation he asked for questions. For a moment, silence hung in the air. He started to feel like a fool. Of course no one would have any.

But boy, did they...

”Officer Jakoby, have you ever shot anyone?”

”Do you have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend?”

”Is it hard when you have to arrest other orcs?”

”Are you ever concerned that you’re just a pawn in a system that promotes elf supremacy and systematically disenfranchises orcs and other races?”

He was pretty quick on his feet with his answers, admitting that some parts of his work were more complicated than others, and deftly avoiding the romance question. He passed out his business cards and encouraged the students to call him if they ever needed his help.

"Before I leave the presentation today," he started, "I wanted to thank a special person in this room." Nick fumbled with the small gift as he spoke. Lucy had no idea where he was going with this.

"Gilda, would you mind coming forward?"

Shocked and wide-eyed, the young orc who had first invited Nick to speak slowly rose to her feet and made her way up to the stage. Lucy held her breath, knowing well how anxious her student could be.

"Gilda, I wanted to thank you for coming to invite me to speak at your school. I was honored to come and spend some time with you all today. Also," he began, "I heard from your teachers here at the school that you have a special interest in studying law. I wanted to give you something to say thank you for your invitation, and hopefully to encourage your studies."

He held the box to her and she gingerly took it, eyebrows raised in a questioning expression, as if she couldn't quite believe this was happening.

She opened the package slowly and found a small necklace: a delicate silver chain with a dangling charm shaped like the scales of justice, and another charm that was a silver disc engraved with the words: "Justice is truth in action." It wasn't a terribly fancy or expensive gift, but Gilda thought she'd never seen anything more beautiful. She closed the box and held it to her chest for a second before raising her head to meet Officer Jakoby's eye in what she thought was a professional manner. She held a hand out for him to shake, and he took it, warmly smiling at her.

"Thank you very much, Officer Jakoby," she managed.

"No, Gilda, thank you for inviting me here today," he responded in a low voice, stepping away from the microphone stand. "Truly." She beamed with pride as she descended the stairs to leave the stage and go back to her seat.

Soon after, the bell rang, dismissing the students to lunch.

"Well, Officer, I think you were a hit!" said Lucy, approaching him after the room had mostly emptied. "Can I treat you to the finest lunch three dollars can buy?"

"Hey, guys! Great job on the event, Lucy," said Billie, who had made her way down to the front of the auditorium where Lucy and Nick stood. "Nick I think you just made Gilda's year. I just saw her taking three of my second graders to the library for tutoring... She's gonna have that goofy grin plastered on her face for the rest of the day."

Nick squinted a bit, but his expression was hard to interpret. He shook his head slowly before responding.

"The students... they really were excited to hear from me..." He said it like it was just sinking in.

"Yeah, Nick. They really really were." Lucy told him with a gentle grin.

"Are you guys going to lunch in the cafeteria?" Billie asked.

"Yeah, want to come with?" Lucy asked, and the trio headed towards lunch. The auditorium and the cafeteria were on opposite sides of the campus, so they had a short walk outside to get there. Along the way, Lucy and Billie laughed about her brother's friend breaking down their door in his drunken state. Nick was glad that Lucy had a friend like Billie. Orcs could hold grudges like you wouldn't believe, but they could also be incredibly loyal friends. He marveled that he'd had more positive interactions with orcs in this school building today than the rest of his life combined. Maybe there really is hope for the future, he thought, seeing an elf, a human, and two orcs playing Four Square on the school's blacktop.

They were walking just in front of the school's main doors, when the peculiar smell hit Nick's nose again. The smell he sensed after smoothies, and again this morning. He stopped in his tracks. It wasn't a smell, but... a vibration, from deep in the earth.

"Hey, do you guys-"

"Yep," interrupted Billie, not waiting for him to finish. Her posture was tense and still, her ears twitching and pupils wide. Something was wrong.

"What are you two-" Lucy didn't get the chance to finish her question, as a monster earthquake billowed up and rolled through, violently convulsing the ground.

It was definitely the strongest one Lucy had ever felt. It sounded like a freight train barreling down on them and it seemed to last forever. Classrooms full of frightened students poured out of the front doors, walking hand in hand the whole way, as they hurried to clear the building. Loose rocks and pebbles fell from the roof and teachers started shouting COVER YOUR HEADS. Lucy looked up at the bell tower and saw an enormous crack that she swore wasn't there before. Evacuating the building was an optional part of the earthquake drills they practiced twice a year, so Lucy knew that this quake was serious.

Several minutes passed, and everyone stayed frozen even after the shaking had eased, as if any slight disturbance would send the ground below back into awful spasms.

The principal stood toward the front of the building and counted off each grade level to make sure all students were accounted for:

"Kindergarten?"

"Here, all 22 are here," answered the Kindergarten teacher.

"Good, first grade?"

"Thirty-one, all accounted for."

"Second grade?" This was Billie's class, and her students had been at lunch in the cafeteria with the teacher's aide. The aide spoke up.

"Twenty-four... three students are missing."

Billie a panicked face. At the same time, the Library/Media Specialist ran outside, frantic.

"Help! Please! There are injured students in the library!"

Panic started to roll through the crowd, just as violently as the earthquake had. Some grabbed their phones, but services were overloaded and no one could call in or out. Some tried to head to the cars to drive for help and others tried to head back to the building. Amidst the chaos, Lucy heard a familiar, deep voice.

"Attention, please!" Nick called out over the crowd. "Teachers and students, please remain in the open field until phone lines reopen. Does anyone here have any emergency training?" Two people - a high school senior and the visual arts instructor - raised their hands. "You two, follow me. The rest of you, stay out of the building. There may be exposed power lines or falling items. Emergency crews will be stretched thin all over town and may not be able to get here quickly, so we need to stay safe." With that, he turned toward the building.

Lucy grabbed his arm. "Nick - the students in the library. Gilda was headed there with the second graders who needed tutoring help. What if she's..." Nick sharply inhaled and nodded solemnly before going back into the building. She wanted to go help but she knew she knew she should stay with her frightened students. She waited while the principal finished the headcount for each grade, her eyes fixed on the front door of the school.

Nick and the volunteers made their way carefully but quickly to the library. When they got there, Nick felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

There didn't seem to be structural damage, but entire shelves full of books had toppled over. Nick heard voices near what had been the tallest bookcase, and where now lay a wooden table, crushed to splinters. 

"Help!" cried a small voice, "We're stuck under here!"

"We're here and we will get you out!" Nick called back. Diligently, the three lifted piles and piles of books. Nick lifted the mostly-empty bookcase by himself and went back to the pile. Eventually, they were able to see the students. Three second-graders jumped up, thankfully unharmed. Nick instructed the volunteers to check for injuries before escorting the younger students outside. Meanwhile, he turned his attention to the other student.

Gilda was unconscious and unresponsive. Apparently, she had ushered the younger students underneath the wooden table when the books started falling, and had tried to shield them with her body as the table started to give way.

Nick felt tears spring to his eyes as he began CPR, unable to find a pulse or any sign of breathing.

***

This was an odd turn of events, thought Dave to himself, as he sat in his car outside of the school.

His initial plan that day was to incapacitate and abduct the orc, who he knew would be travelling to the school by himself. He was going to rear-end his car after he left and then inject him with a hypodermic needle full of orc-strength sedative. He'd then use him as bait to lure Lucy to the evidence she'd hidden away, and then eliminate them both. There were risks to this plan, of course: an abandoned police car would attract attention, and he wasn't sure what the best way would be to murder them without leaving any evidence. Guns were the easy option, of course, but Dave didn't have one and didn't want to let any of his underworld contacts know he was in town. It seemed that the officer wasn't carrying his piece either, so he'd have to come up with a Plan B.

Decisions, decisions.

Of course, it was all a moot point, now. The earthquake had really fucked up his kidnapping and murder plans, he chuckled to himself. No, now he'd have to go back to his original plan of somehow finding Lucy alone and "convincing" her to lead him to the evidence.

Now he'd have to stick closer to her and wait for the next time she was alone.

***

Nick walked to the school's front door with Gilda in his arms and heavy steps. She was alive - barely - but she needed medical attention now. He had no idea what the extent of her injuries may be and knew he shouldn't jostle her too much. As he walked outside and toward the light, he stopped for a minute to lay Gilda on a stretcher that had been brought out from the nurses' office.

In that moment, he was solely focused on the young child and didn't hear the ear-splitting CRACK sound from up above that startled the group.

He didn't think anything odd about Lucy running toward him at full speed. She would be concerned for her student.

He didn't see the large piece of plaster break free of the bell tower above and tumble down to earth - at least a 50 pound chunk heading straight for Nick's head.

He barely registered Lucy throwing herself into him and knocking him backward, to safety, as it fell.

He almost didn't even know what happened when he saw the plaster land squarely on top of Lucy... and when he saw her blood splattered on his hands.

@cinnamonroll-issues @fantasticauthoroafzonk @bonnietakesnosh-t @beastlybfs

[natureoftheforceastarwarsfanfic]

Ch.01.05

It was later that night, much later than Rajan thought, by the time he managed to peel himself away from the funeral, pay for his meal, say his goodbyes to his new friends the Devorian and the Human, and leave the cantina to head back to his ship.

As he left the cantina Rajan felt a chill as the cold nighttime air blew through the narrow streets of the cities entertainment district. Shivering he pulled his cloak tighter around himself and doubled his pace to the hangar.

A sudden alarm, a mere whisper at the back of his mind, made him duck left and spin around. Narrowly missing connecting his head with a stun bolt beam.

Blaster in hand Stone leveled the weapon at his assailant, a blue armored Trandoshian who snarled back at him in anger.

“Can I help you lizzardman?” Rajan asked, a snarl tugging at the corners of his mouth. He couldn’t stand trandoshians, never had been able to. The fact that this one had just fired at him, and missed, made him dislike this example of the species all the more.

“I am a bounty hunter!” The being hissed through sharp toothed snout.

“Are you a member of the guild?” Rajan asked keeping his blaster leveled squarely at a point between the creatures eyes. He noted with half a chuckle that his blaster was still switched the stun, with the other part of his mind he noted the crowd gathering along the street to watch what was going on.

“I am, and you have a bounty out on you from the Gotholia system!” The trandoshian thundered. “Lower your weapon and come with me now!”

“Amateur,” Rajan thought just as he adjusted his aim and shot the self-proclaimed bounty hunters rifle out of his hands. Three steps found him close the distance between them, though he kept to a safe distance.

“Tell me the truth now,” he said calmly, theatrically releveling his blaster to point at the trandoshians head.

Looking around he noted that the crowd had grown significantly now. Speaking much louder than he needed to so as to be heard by as many as possible.

“You claim to be a bounty hunter, that much may be true. But as far as you being a member of the bounty hunters guild I highly doubt it.” He noticed a commotion in the back of the crowd.

“The guild’s code requires a hunter to announce himself before any shot is fired, giving their target a chance to surrender themselves peacefully before violence is used. And this you did not do.” He looked the trandoshian squarely in the eye.

“That means you are either an independent bounty hunter, a member of the guild who does not follow the guild’s laws, or a fraud who just felt like shooting at a random old man.”

He smiled thinly, “its up to you to convince me either way.”

“Whats going on here?” A law enforcement officer wearing ill fitting body armor demanded, finally pushing his way past the crowd. He leveled a blaster in Rajan’s general direction. A blaster on its safe setting he noted.

“This fella just shot at the gentleman,” someone explained from behind the police man.

“Is this true?” The officer demanded speaking to no one in particular.

“He claims to be a bounty hunter with the guild,” Rajan explained. “But he failed to follow guild procedure and announce himself, and he fired upon me without warning.”

“And yet you have the blaster now buddy.” The officer pointed out, now seemingly realizing that his blaster was on safety corrected that, his blaster making an audible click as it primed itself.

“I am certain security footage will confirm my story, and you already have testimony from at least one eye witness confirming my story. And you have yet to ask my assailant for his side of the story.”

“That’s true!”

The officer seemed startled that yet another random observer spoke out, and equally perturbed that the man he was pointing a blaster at took no apparent notice. As a result it took him a few long moments to respond.

“That’s something for the boys at the station to ask him, I’m taking you both in.”

“Am I under arrest?” Rajan asked dropping his voice to a lower and less friendly tone than he had used prior. For what it was worth he also threw all the power and authority into his voice that he could muster, which was a significant amount thanks to his years of service in the navy.

The tones of authority seemed to make the officer shrink back, a natural reaction for someone who was in essence a rather low ranking beat cop likely used to being told how high to jump by his superiors.

“You are,” he finally said, putting some of his own authority into his reply, though it was clear to all that posture as he might he was not in any way in control of the situation. “Put down your weapon and get onto the ground or I will consider you as resisting lawful arrest.”

Rajan had no intention of allowing himself to be arrested. That would entail being processed, with DNA samples, fingerprints, and pictures being taken of him which would then be placed into the planets security database regardless of what happened. And by extension he would then be in the empires security database.

Alternatively he could shoot his way out of this situation, the trandoshan was no longer a threat, and the officer did not seem especially proficient with his own blaster. But that would almost be a worse outcome than simply allowing himself to be arrested, leading to him being a wanted criminal.

That left Rajan just one option. It wasn’t a very good option, but better than nothing.

Calming his mind and slowing his breathing he reached out. Not physically as his hands remained where they were, pointing his blaster at the trandoshan. Rather he reached out through the force.

His sensitivity to the force was perhaps his best kept secret. He had no idea how powerful he was, no one had ever told him, nor had he ever received any specific training to develop his connection to it. But from working with various Jedi, as well as other circumstances, he had managed to work out a few tricks.

He focused on the officer, touching his mind and prodding it.

“You don’t want to arrest me,” he suggested, his voice dropping to a whisper as a result of his concentration.

“I don’t?” The man stuttered suddenly confused. He blinked rapidly and Rajan could feel him slipping from his control.

Focusing harder he answered, “no you don’t.”

“But,” the other began, it seemed there was now nothing in the universe beside the two of them.

“No you don’t,” Rajan said with more force behind his words. “I did nothing wrong.”

“You didn’t.”

Rajan tried not to the fact he was pleased with himself for doing so well cloud his mind. “I did nothing wrong today, and you don’t have to arrest me,” he could feel the other mind slipping away as he fought against what he knew was wrong.

“I have to,” the officer answered, beginning to shake Rajan’s grip. But he didn’t have much more to do.

“I will go with you willingly though. So why would you arrest me?”

“Good.”

Rajan severed the spell, he had done enough. The officer seemed to snap back to his reality and suddenly became aware of his surroundings once more.

“Right you will have to come with me down to the station,” he announced. “Holster that blaster before I confiscate it and stand aside so that I can secure your friend.”

“My friend he most definitely is not,” Rajan answered sliding his blaster back into its secreted holster. However he did not thumb the safety on as he normally did.

“Jedi,” the trandoshan hissed silently beneath his breath. The rest of the crowd, who had been jostling one another for a look at the scene had seemed to have missed the mind trick, but with his much closer view of what had happened he had apparently managed to understand what had happened.

“Well that complicated things,” Rajan thought in dismay. With that one word the bounty hunter impersonator had sealed his, and likely the officers fate.

“I had hoped to walk off before reaching the station,” he thought with a sudden sadness.

 A half hour later, and certain he had not been followed Rajan returned to his ship and began powering it up. He was airborne and climbing for altitude by the time anyone discovered the two bodies he had left behind in an alley. And the police had determined the trandoshan and officer had killed eachother in an altercation just after his arrest by the time Rajan had calculated his hyperspace jump. The case was closed and half forgotten by the time he had made his jump. Such was the nature of frontier life.

[yakumtsaki]

There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just gonna come right out with it: welcome to the most morbid post in Union history. Half the family is getting wiped out in a single update and I don’t mean to point fingers, but it’s 100% Wyatt’s fault. I really need someone to blame so don’t dare try to take this away from me.

Back to the present and not the corpse-filled near future, we actually have some money to spend on our spawn for the first time ever, so Shajar gets a non-completely-depressing room. No more eating from the cat bowl for our kids!

..spoke too soon.

-Is it still there, is it still there??

-YES omg it just looked right at me! Vic! I’m scared!

-Don’t make eye contact with it you fool! Don’t you have any idea about how children work??

After not getting promoted for an eon, Jojo is suddenly killing it, two promotions in a row!

-I know, I was starting to fear I’d be one of those geniuses who are only recognized after death- UGH, what is that obnoxious sound?

That’s your infant child screaming because it was abandoned on the cold hard floor the entire night.

-Oh ok, so standard parenting. For a minute I thought something was wrong.

-There, there, you’re alright. Ok.. OK seriously, stop. God, have some dignity for once in your 12-hour life. Crying in public is so embarrassing.

-NEEEEEEO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yup. I’ve been so focused on feeding Victor and Alegra’s ancient asses from the bowl of life that I forgot Neo was an elder too, so he’s the first to go even though he’s way younger than them, great job @ me. Goodbye Neo 💔 You were such a good boy, our cat heir, and an integral part in achieving Komei’s life-ruining LTW. You will be sorely missed.

..Apparently by your archenemy Victor most of all. Vicky casually walked off the lot the minute Neo died with no notifications about running away, only to return on his own shortly after. Wtf is going on in this house.

-I had to contemplate the futility of hate.. All this time wasted trying to kill each other and for what.. It's a sunrise and a sunset from a cradle to a casket.

Yea or this lot is already glitched as fuck and it’s only generation 2. Good times.

I was very bummed out by Neo’s premature demise and not in the mood for another kid, but one peek at Jojo and Wyatt’s life bars convinced me to drop the mourning period and circle-of-life this bitch. They are extremely not getting any younger and who tf do I think I am? Someone who knows better than Mufasa?However since a) Jojo is nowhere near his 100k LTW and can’t be taking days off and b) and more importantly, I hate Wyatt, guess who’s carrying this time around!

OH COME ON

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT WYATT

-Huhu!

How the hell did this happen I DEMAND TO KNOW

-Check how your mods work in le futur, idiόt!

..well you got me there.

Jo you are ON FIRE, 3/3! Maybe we can actually complete this 100k bullshit before you’re on death’s doorstep. It’s gonna be close tho, but you know, you just HAD to get knocked up again, so that’s on you.

-No, it’s on YOU.

No, it’s ON WYATT. Let’s just not point fingers and move on, ok? Everyone is equally to blame.

-NO THEY’RE NOT

I’VE MOVED ON I CAN’T HEAR YOU

And now a section I like to call: What the entire fuck is happening. VICTORIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

-What?? I love babies :)

I legit went back and checked, can you guess how many times Victoria autonomously interacted with any of her kids when they were babies/toddlers? If you had EXACTLY ONE TIME you win..nothing. There are no winners here.

Oh. my. god. 

-Stop hogging her already, I wanna feed her too!

-WELL WAIT YOUR TURN DICK. No, not you, baby bobo booboo.. 

We’ve had our fair share of plot twists around here but this is truly some fucked up shit. In case you don’t get what the big deal is, enjoy this little trip down memory lane aka the Victoria-Komei-parenting-hall-of-fame. Either the ‘age mellows people out’ thing applies to sims too or they got personality transplants when I wasn’t looking. Disturbing.

Of course SOME THINGS never change, no matter how life-ruining for all involved.

-Is this about my LTW, STILL? It’s been like 20 years, GET OVER IT

NEVER

Whachu doing Vic?

-Updating my will to include Komei now that I suddenly love him. Of course someone has to get cut to make that happen..

Well goodbye Daniel I guess!

-..Who the fuck is Daniel?

-I too am making preparations for when I leave this cruel world.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume they’re cat-related.

-NO, not everything is about cats! I have plenty of other interests and concerns. 

Name one.

-My beloved son! I’m making sure he takes care of my cats.

Finally, this family’s excellence is starting to be recognized. It’s about time.

-Yea no, this is a recognition that you trainwrecks need all the help you can get.

UGH typical jealous hater bullshit, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Ok, I’ve some idea what you’re talking about. Honestly what else has to happen for me to just. stop fucking throwing kid’s birthday parties? I’m pretty sure we’ve had..one that wasn’t a straight up disaster? God knows those glory days aren’t returning any time soon.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m having a blast :D

Of course you are Gunther, you haven’t been sober since the third year of college.

AND SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT. ABSOLUTELY NOT. HALF ALIEN PROF ISTFG

-I’m legit fine with this :)

I legit don’t care, it’s not happening in our sacred home. Also BRIT IS RIGHT THERE JFC you’ve gotten stupid as shit.

You guys seriously, what sins am I paying for, why can’t we have ONE NORMAL NON-INCESTUOUS PARTY. JUST ONE. Daniel heartfarting over his ex, ok, not that weird. Komei heartfarting over his daughter-in-law..getting weird. Gunther heartfarting over Half Alien Prof..reaching for the chlorine to bleach my eyes and then immediately drink.

Nice, get in on that action Wyatt! We almost forgot about your long standing boner for your brother-in-law.

Happy birthday, Shajar! You’re welcome for this amazing party, pay me back by not being ugly.

..yea ok. You did your best with the tools you were given. And I mean the literal giant tools that are your parents. Hopefully Wyatt came through with his somewhat balanced personality???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN. 10 playful, 9 active and 1 nice? Literally sporting Jigsaw’s personality. I mean darling Jojo has 3 nice points and is..how he is, can’t even imagine what Shajar is gonna grow up to be like, but it’s good to know we’re moving in the exact opposite direction than intended.

-Enjoyed your kid’s birthday party, you cheating bastard? WELL PARTY’S OVER

-I may be a cheating bâtard-

-SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR SELECTIVE FRENCH ACCENT

AW Neo’s ghost making its first appearance and trying to kill Wyatt, what a sweetheart. Welcome to the party!

It was one for the history books! 

-How on earth did this party suck, I had an exceptional time.

Yea that’s because you weren’t there, it’s easy to have an exceptional time away from this family. Of course I have never personally experienced it but the mind does race.

-AH at last, my article is published! Oh, editor’s pick too, ha, of course. No, wait, editor’s warning.. As requested by the legal department? Drama queens. “Horrifying views expressed.. Widely discredited.. Not endorsed in any way by this publication.. DERIVATIVE??!!” Well, I know what I’m doing this weekend.

Is it.. rewriting your article?

-Oh, I’ll rewrite it alright. IN BLOOD

Great. Speaking of blood-

-Victor’s thirst for it is back with a vengeance. We went an entire 4 days without a cat fight and I was all like ‘woo new record’ but one thing has become clear since then:

Victor didn’t go away to contemplate shit. He was waiting..plotting..training..and now the time has come for Victor 2: Reign of Blood.

-WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW??

Seems about right. Honestly Sophie is the wisest one among us because she got tfo just in time to miss THIS:

Yea, unsurprisingly fucking Damien here is one vicious screamer. WHAT DO YOU WANT

-YOUR SOULS

Good luck finding any in this house.

-Who’s my cute little spawn of satan? Who is? Come to grandma baby.

-ONE SMALL STEP FOR ME, ONE GIANT LEAP TOWARDS THE ANNIHILATION OF MANKIND

Wyatt continues to do nothing of use all day and is not even getting promoted anymore due to his tragic lack of skill points. Somehow that led me to deciding he should be the one to get the genie wishes, I honestly dk wtf my problem is.

-Greetings, mortal etc etc. I’m gonna skip over the intro, you know the deal with the dealio, 3 wishes, let’s hit it.

-I was expectànt more of an Aladdin flair but c’est bien I guess..

-DON’T DARE MENTION THAT MOVIE TO ME YOU FRENCH ASSHOLE

-Um, oui, your désir c’est my command..Huhu! 

-Is one of your wishes the return of your brain, because you should throw that in there.

-Non, non. C’est but one wish in mon coeur, Genié. To nevér, evér have to interact with my bébés but still have beaucoup of them.. In case you can’t tell, I am sim de famille!

-Ugh yea, that much is obvious.

-Well, your wish is granted, mortal! Let me just flick your nose as hard as I can and we’re done here..

-Pourquoi?

-Oh no reason, just for my own pleasure. Buh-bye!

-And with that, he turned into la fumée, mon cheri! Incrediblé!

-I hate my life.

That makes two of us. As in I hate your life too, my life is pretty good.

KOMEI DO YOU MIND WITH YOUR DANGEROUS CURVES, Jojo has a grueling skilling schedule to keep up with.

-So this is it. Rock bottom. 

I mean, you wanted to be heir boo, you got it. It’s a dirty job.

Finally one of the Mortal Kombat cats lives up to its name! GET FUCKED VICTOR

-K.O

Well, we all saw that coming. Victor seriously, you’re like 50yo, don’t do this.

-I’m outta here for the fourth time bitches, and this time I’m not coming back! No man is an island but this cat is.

Ok, see you soon.

Wyatt’s wish is definitely coming true, he has not touched Shajar a single time yet, autonomously or otherwise! What a guy.

-I HAVE NO USE FOR EARTHLY FATHERS, THE ONE I NEED AWAITS US ALL IN HELL

It’s gonna be a long fucking generation.

-WYATT. WYATT YOU DAMN MORON WAKE UP

-Ugh Jojό, I told you, my magique protects me from all bébé interactiόn.

-DOES IT PROTECT YOUR TORSO FROM MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS

It’s a girl! I’m like why stray from a proven formula, so I name her Cyneswith after another Crusader Kings character, who did not exist irl like Shajar but was still a fire emoji empress of Britannia. Welcome to the shitshow Cyneswith! No offense, it was great to meet you, but we have some important shit to do so..have fun on the floor?

FUCKING FINALLY. It’s promotions only from now on boo! 

..Which is more than I can say for some people. Wyatt seriously, can you move your useless ass up the ladder already so we can avoid having this freak in our house EVERY SINGLE DAY.

-The boy’s just following his heart ;)

Half Alien Prof you are by far the biggest pervert I’ve ever had in this game and Jojo spent his entire teenagehood trying to start a bdsm relationship with Stephen Tinker.

Well, Victor predictably died off lot, which is so on brand for him I’m not even mad. An insufferable dick to the very end, he lived to eat and to start fights with every animal he ever came in contact with. He only ever really loved Victoria. I’m gonna miss him so much.

Victor may have died, but that’s not going to stop the police department from trying to return him to us. Just remember that that place is under Wyatt’s supervision and it all makes sense.

Can hardly wait, Professional Make-Up Cop.

-I want to play a game, Alegra.

Man is someone gunning to be put up for adoption!

-Papa’s birthday présent to you, Shajar, is us finally meeting! Breathe it in, mon favori, I’ll be seeing you again on your next anniversaire!

-Wyatt I swear to fucking god, I will stab you.

Can we get this going please, I’m in NO MOOD.

Not bad at all! A pretty even mix of Wyatt/Jojo and I see you def did not get the Komei jaw, which is pretty much angels singing.

-Angels singing makes my eyes roll in the back of my skull. 

You make my eyes roll in the back of my skull.

-What?

What. I didn’t say anything. Love you Shaj!

-One more for the road babe? After 50 years?

Yea. Just pretend everything that follows has a broken heart emoji before and after each word.

I dress Vic up and have her wait for Death in the living room like a lady, none of those ‘dying in the bathroom in my underwear’ deaths, befitting people like Wyatt. However ideal the circumstances as far as death goes, my heart still broke in more pieces than cats Komei has petted.

-VICTORIA UNION

-Marisa? Is that you?

-NO, IT’S-wow cool armchair, where did you get-no, sorry, you’re dying and all, let me start over..

-VICTORIA UNION, YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR WRETCHED SOUL

-What? My soul is not wretched jerkoff, the fuck you talking about?

-THAT’S JUST A THING WE SAY BECAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL, PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT

-HERE’S YOUR COMPLIMENTARY VIRGIN MARGARITA

-Virgin??? Oh god, I’m going to hell aren’t I?

-YOU WERE, BUT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER MADE SOME CALLS ON YOUR BEHALF. WELCOME TO HEAVEN

-Yes, I can taste the alcohol in this! GOING GONE, BITCHES. LATES

The stacks of simoleons DID NOT EASE MY PAIN. I do love that Daniel got the most final version of ‘and none for Gretchen Weiners, bye’ possible.

Jojo is fucking devastated and immediately rolls the want to resurrect Vic. It’s bummy af, I’m not even gonna go for the obvious oedipal jokes, he was just crying for days and days and days..

Komei, on the other hand, WAS NOT.

-Eh, I’ll be seeing her soon enough, why waste the tears.

Now that I think about it Komei has never cried about any of the cats either, I think he’s just the type of person who deals with grief by suppressing it. Whatever works.

Jojo and Wyatt are always having these fashion talks whenever they’re eating which are hilarious because I can see Wyatt being into it, I mean he’s french, but in what world is fucking nerd Jojo interested in clothing. Not even that can cheer him up now 💔

Fucking Florence, bringer of doom, returns Sophie to us and the moment she does:

Tell me how am supposed to live without you, now that I've been loving you so long, how am I supposed to live without you, how am I supposed to carry on, when all that I've been living for.. is gone 💔

FUCK YOU FLORENCE

Jfc the blows just won’t stop coming. LEAVE US ALONE WE’RE IN MOURNING

Time for Cyneswith’s depressing ass birthday which I can’t give less of a fuck about, and apparently neither can Wyatt but then again he wouldn’t even if we weren’t ~back to black.

Loving the hairstyle but it does look ridic on a toddler. Good for you for committing to your british aristocracy character tho, very Downton Abbey.

Well the Komei jaw always knocks twice and apparently we let it in this time. Are you beautiful on the inside Cyneswith?

OH. MY. FUCK. BYE. CYNESWITH YOU FUCKING FREAK

-Huhu! 

NO SHE GOT THE HUHU. GOD HELP US

Cyneswith dramatically enters the toddler stage by immediately going into aspiration failure.. You can all guess where this is going.

-KOMEI UNION YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR-

-Yea yea whatever, are my cats waiting for me? If you say no I will literally kill myself.

-I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GRASPING THE CORE CONCEPT OF DEATH, BUT YES THEY ARE WAITING.

-I’M OUT. TELL THE WOLF I LOVED HIM

KOMEI 💔 I’m sorry but we will not be delivering that message.

Apparently Jojo and Komei legit bonded at some point?? I was expecting like a half-hearted sigh but instead we got sobbing-

-and this sum that does not imply ‘least favorite kid’ AT ALL.

Well you know how the old saying goes: nothing will ever replace your parents but a helicopter will come close. 

Also in mourning: this breakdancer npc that randomly appeared on our lot and stayed stuck there for 2 days before I finally batboxed her into oblivion. This lot is fuuuucked y’all.

And generation 1 is officially over. Rest in peace Komei and Victoria, legacy founders, horrible spouses and somehow even worse parents. You stuck it out and were fun to play till the very end. I’ll really miss you guys 💔

[funnydove-blog]

Mergers and Acquisitions

Now, let’s talk about you: how to get you—and keep you—financially independent or wealthy, doing what you love to do, what you’re good at, and what you were put on this earth to do. (If you’re lucky, you know what they are and they’re the same thing.)

Your first step is to maximize the ‘merger’ of your education, credentials, experience, and skills in order to market yourself and your abilities. You merge these to the best of your ability in order to make the ‘acquisition’ of money easier and to make the possibility of making more money in the future more likely. Many times, at the start of this quest, you interview for and are offered a job. At this point, you may experience the pervasive gender gap that women around the world face every day. According to a 2017 report from the National Partnership for Women and Families, women of color earn 25-40% less than their white male counterparts. Caucasian women fair a little better, but the difference in pay for women when compared to men remains a serious problem.

The reality today is that women work longer hours to make the same pay as men. Women also do more ‘unpaid labor’: taking care of husbands, children, in-laws, and parents. I don’t know of any statistics that support this assertion. It’s just something I’ve seen my entire life, and it’s an experience that has never been denied by anyone— male or female—that I’ve spoken to in my entire life.

I’m uncertain about how to change family dynamics, but you as a woman can definitely change workplace dynamics. Go to your library, and your librarian, and find books and resources to help you negotiate more effectively for equal pay when you are offered a job or seek a promotion. You’ll also find resources online, but talk to other women (and men) when possible. Human interaction gives you the best chance to receive inside information that isn’t found in search results. It offers the opportunity to speak with someone who may become a mentor, ally, colleague, or friend. However, the truth is that the responsibility for earning and acquiring money rests mostly with you. To maximize your earning potential, consider the following:

Think like an entrepreneur, even if you work for a company;

Be willing to do the jobs your peers don’t want to do;

Search for a ‘niche market’, an under-serviced or specialty area within your chosen field that you can focus on, dominate, and be ‘the expert’ in;

Be willing to relocate—even to another country—if there are opportunities to earn more, do more, and be more;

Know your ‘pain centers’—points of dissatisfaction or discomfort—that motivate you and use them to find solutions that can be profitable to you and others;

Master the fundamentals of your chosen field and obtain any necessary certifications or training so you can always earn money and take care of yourself. In your current work position:

Be a problem solver for your company, as problem solvers are ‘golden nuggets’ for business owners who always face a myriad of daily challenges;

Come in a little early, leave a little later, and do a little more; Consistently go ‘above and beyond’ what your job requires as you look for opportunities to learn more;

As you do, keep a detailed list of the extra responsibilities you’ve voluntarily taken on, or have been given;

Consistently calendar your performance, so you can document—for yourself and your boss—that you’re doing these extra tasks on a regular basis;

After a period of time (6 months or so) of day in, day out competent performance of your assigned duties and handling of the ‘above and beyond’ responsibilities you’ve taken on, set at appointment to talk with your boss; Detail your performance modestly but evenly, and politely ask for a raise;

If you are given a raise, thank your boss and continue to do all of your work; If you are not, assess the reasons given for the refusal;

Begin a concerted effort to look for a new job;

Always be the hardest worker in the room;

Do not settle.

WILL POWER

Another way that you may acquire money or things of value is through a windfall or an inheritance. A windfall may be a winning lottery ticket (don’t bet on it), or a settlement from litigation in a civil case. An inheritance is far more likely.

I’ve discussed this important issue in The Old Money Book, and I suggest you read about it there. Nevertheless, I’ll cover it briefly here, as it presents an incredible opportunity to improve your life and move you toward financial independence.

Let’s say that you’re invited to a lawyer’s office for an important meeting. Dear me, what could this be about? Well, as it happens, your Uncle Chester has kicked the bucket. And? And…there’s the issue of the will. You throw on a respectable ensemble, give your hair a lick and a promise, and take the train into the city. Shortly thereafter, you’re sitting in a wood-paneled conference room that’s larger than your apartment. The courtly, aging lawyer is straight out of a Charles Dickens novel. In short order, he informs you that Uncle Chester, the old codger who lived in a two room cottage in Vermont, had actually socked away a tidy sum…and he’s left it all to you.

Gulp. As the blood returns to your head, Uncle Chester’s lawyer congratulates you in that very Great Expectations kind of way and asks you to sign on the dotted line. He then asks where you’d like to have the funds deposited, and wishes you the best of luck. At this point in time, you don’t need luck: you need to manage that money wisely. So, my suggestion would be to immediately contact a reputable certified public accountant (CPA) and assess any tax liability that the inheritance may present to you. (Pay your taxes fully and promptly. You want no issues with your Uncle Sam.)

The second thing you might want to do is buy a bottle of champagne and toast your good fortune. Alone. As I strongly suggest in The Old Money Book, I would keep the inheritance a secret. Note that a ‘secret’ is not something you tell one person at a time. You don’t need your inheritance affecting your relationships. Deal with the change privately. Then, later, decide how to share it with others, if at all.

Don’t do anything different with your daily routine or your life. Don’t quit your job, even if you don’t like your boss. Don’t purchase anything. Instead, make a list of everything you could purchase and do. Travel, paying off debt, new car, bigger apartment, fur coat, limousine rides for you and your friends, and shoes, shoes, shoes. Call that the Crazy List. The list with things on it that, once you hand over your money, you get nothing of value in return. That’s crazy, right?

Now make a Smart List. This is a list of everything you could invest in. This list is everything you could put money in that would, once you hand over your money, increase in value and pay you back over time. Start the list with income-producing real estate, dividend-paying stocks, annuities, tax-free bonds…things that produce that ‘passive income’ we spoke of earlier in the book. No, it’s not as much fun as renting a limousine, but it is more rewarding in the long run. You might also consider investing in yourself with education.

I’m not telling you what to invest in. I’m not telling you to invest. I am telling you not to spend. And only consider investing after a ‘cooling off period’ of 3 to 6 months after you inherit the money. Again: as the euphoria wears off, brew a cup of hot tea, curl up on the sofa, and assess how much this inheritance can help you achieve your goal of being financially independent. If you spend it all in a week, it doesn’t help you at all. If you spend it all in two years, it may help you a little. If you invest it and make it work for you—and pay you dividends or interest every month—it may benefit you for the rest of your life.

Consider the amount you’ve inherited, how you can best use it, and look at where you are. Is this going to give you Intermediate Independence? Optimum Independence? View this inheritance not as money, but as an opportunity. Then use it wisely. As you know, math has no opinion. Do the math when you get an inheritance. Make it work for you in the long term.

[grownwithrespect-blog1]

Business oriented Real Estate, A Career - How Do You Get Into It?

1 . WHAT IS IT AND HOW DO YOU GET INTO IT? Several years ago, I was marriage ceremony a Society of Industrial Realtors Annual Spring Office meeting in Maui. My wife had accompanied me on the getaway so that we could also do a lot of sightseeing. Colliers Foreign, a 241 office worldwide firm, sponsored its own enterprise cocktail party the night before the Conference officially began in addition to my wife and I attended the party. A short while into introductions, a fabulous fellow came in from the golf course and he kommet down at our table. Andrew Friedlander introduced by his own an we discussed our home in Philadelphia, his particular original home in Brooklyn and his new place in Honolulu. As to how he ended up in The hawaiian islands, Andrew told us that on R&R during his / her tours in the Army in Vietnam, he decided to make a break in Hawaii after he was finished his or her last duty tour. He rented an apartment, waited rooms, washed cars, etc . to have some extra cash. He believed that he paid his apartment rent to an older fella who came around once a month and he finally quizzed the man whether that was his business. Andrew said that she never thought about property management as a business, but the additional he spoke to the man the more that he realized ways diverse a business commercial real estate could be, particularly in Hawaiian. The rental agent began to show Andrew the basics belonging to the business and Andrew decided not to return to Brooklyn. Visit here : whistler grand Forty decades later, Andrew is the manager of approximately six Colliers World-wide offices in Hawaii with over 40 brokers along with salespeople as his responsibility. Aside from selling and leasing commercial real estate and traditional brokerage transactions through the of the islands, Andrew's team is involved in all of the other aspects of advertisement and industrial real estate. As one concierge person told my wife and I while we were touring there, "Yes, it is a amazing place, now where would you ever think of moving towards once you are here. " In the past year, a young Army Chief and friend called me from Hawaii. He and even his wife were taking in some R&R after the last duty tour and he called to consult me for some advice on commercial real estate firms. I gifted him Andrews phone number after I checked with Andrew in his availability. Andrew treated my friend to lunch not to mention introduced him to Colliers' business in the islands. Because turned out, my friend and his wife decided later in order to relocate to Florida to be closer to their parents. The Colliers office in Ft. Lauderdale was anxious to make sure you interview him and did so. He found an improved fit for a concentration in office brokerage with a second firm, but I think that it is clear that opportunities achieve exist with major firms for someone who has an interest, this type of demonstrate that they are self motivated and whose comportment (manners, speech, personal grooming, business attire) are all positive. Ages friend told me one night after we and the wives checked in, very late, at a hotel had by a well known hotel group, "That desk clerk will be person representing this hotel company to its buyers and I know the CEO. That clerk's slight disrespect toward us does not at all represent what their CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER wants his company to be known for in their business enterprise. He will need to learn that if he is going to be more than the late night clerk. " I mention this because a company for instance Colliers or any of its competitors must ensure that a proctor or broker first meeting a potential customer properly presents the company's image. So much money is spent defining which usually image to the business community that each person, including most of staff, must reflect that effort. Otherwise, a potential customer will choose to hire a competitor whose act will be together. My understanding is that customer relation instruction at Wal-Mart is quite strong for all personnel. I would think any major restaurant chain has in place a thorough plan for staff training and it may pay to observe if if the customer is not always right at an place how the staff person handles a customer who is being a piece particular. 2 . Entry I use Andrew's story as an example from the opportunity that commercial real estate offers. A senior enterprise mentor and good friend of mine told me in South carolina in 1971, just at the beginning of that recession, that professional real estate offered an opportunity to enter a business without having my own cash to invest other than my time and energy, and, with no limit about the size of transactions that could be put together. We discussed the in relation to my going back to law school. His judgment was that it was almost a "sky is the limit" approach, but with some basic sense to it. I did done a few financial reports on potential deals wanted to him. I also handed over that year, at my mentor's instruction, a $300k commission check to a broker what person he had employed to buy a property that he had settled within the year prior to that. The next year, at the same time, I paid the same check to that broker as the second half of which will commission to that broker. Please realize that in 1972 the fact that commission amount in the onset of that recession was a large amount of money for any transaction. Each state has its own limitations for licensure. Florida required a person to take a revenues licensing course, pass that, then work in a gain real estate broker's office for a minimum of two years before staying eligible to take a state broker's exam. The sales tutorial is offered by numerous private firms and colleges, nighttime courses in particular. The cost of the course is minimal. The fundamental skills for reading, writing and math portions usually are not difficult. Depending upon your educational qualifications, commercial real estate corporations may often offer to provide the course. Smaller, further generalized, brokerage firms may also do the same in order to develop a salesperson. There typically is a recognized "culture" as well as business reputation known for a real estate firm in any group, The community can be local, regional or national. It sends to do your homework as to which firm appears to satisfy your style. The internet is definitely one of the most productive sources for seeking out for a firm's history, its areas of expertise, personnel, and its success. Recognize that major metropolitan commercial firms often outsource purchaser needs in an outlying area to a smaller commercial organisation in that area rather than requiring one of their main home office brokers to commit to travel time. Consequently, if you are from a rural market outside or between major metropolitan trading markets, you should investigate which real estate firms have those interactions for the larger deals. Your time for success starting during commercial real estate (particularly without capital) will be the result of everything you put into it. I had the option in the early '70's regarding returning to law school and finishing. What I recognized most was that I liked being out of an clinic and "on the street. " My attorney friends throughout Ft. Lauderdale were spending innumerable hours, as expected, in their offices to write briefs, draft documents, etc ., that that profession requires. My decision was to put in an identical hours on commercial real estate that I would have to put in for just a law practice. If it worked, then fine, or I would go back to school. Considering that the early '70's recession through Florida hit every occupation with almost equal deterioration, many attorneys had practices with slim billings and also clients whose businesses were suffering economically. Several real estate agents who I met were having very difficult times because banks were not lending money for deals. Florida received a usury cap of 14% at that time. Deposits happen to be down and when interest rates in California started to go above 14% that is where the money went. Weekdays in those numerous years, I was knocking on the doors of businesses from the West Palm to Miami corridor. Weekends, I was basically often painting a house or captaining a motor sailer owned by a friend's corporation. Weekday evenings after supper, I was at the office reviewing property information, ownerships, place a burden on data, etc . for the next day's driving or calls. I found that it was possible to earn a living while getting towards the commercial real estate field. I later found out after shifting back to Philadelphia, that several of the commercial real estate vendors did not mind their starting salespeople to moonlight simply because bartenders, waiters, or whatever until they had enough expertise to close transactions. That has changed somewhat in the higher cities due to the financial strength of the larger firms plus their ability to either offer a base salary or obtain to new salespersons. Gender in today's commercial real estate universe is not an issue as it was in the '70's. At that time, individuals only eating clubs were often the norm and adult females were not often able to match that type of selling place. The number of women who have joined commercial real estate organizations which includes SIOR, CCIM, etc . (which I will discuss later) seems to have increased dramatically over the past 15 years. The commercial properties courses offered today provide an excellent means of obtaining understanding that once was taught generally "in house" by mature brokerage personnel responsible for a new salesperson's progress. Therefore , on considering commercial real estate the aspect of having minimal growth capital has not changed. Gender is not an issue and many women who may have chosen to specialize in industrial or office real estate did very well. You can choose your hours, choose your neighborhood of specialty(s), choose your market area(s), and decide who you want to approach as a firm to join. Most business oriented real estate involes the standard business week, not including late Saturday or Sunday hours (vs. residential Sunday open houses). These are several of the positive aspects of working in commercial realty. The competition is keen, your competitors respect a good work hard work and, most importantly, they respect a strong reputation for any man or women. You should investigate both larger commercial firms and little real estate brokerage firms. There are advantages and disadvantages to both. A). Larger firms may be willing to offer a base salary or even a draw against commissions. They may prefer prior business feel, but not necessarily prior real estate brokerage experience that may clash with what their "culture" is and what their in-house training entails. Typically, a new salesperson would be assigned towards a senior broker or brokers to do cold calling, selling materials, marketing reports for any existing client's property as well as probably handle property inspections by other competing providers with their prospects. A few points on Larger Firms: Foreseeable future ownership potential for you in the company may be limited or possibly nonexistent. Control over what market, territory or style that you work in may not be your choice. If you are hired first department, such as retail, that may change if they need staff members support in another department, such as office. You may find construct y prefer a new person to rotate through each agency and possible each regional office if they have a number of offices. Depending upon whether the firm is privately held or perhaps public company it could be sold or merged without you will being involved in the discussion. There is no real "safety blanket" for just about any position in a larger firm. If a primary, large, patron is lost to a competitor, cuts may be relatively swift to absorb the lack of revenues. Senior brokers who are successful once in a while leave to join another firm or to start their own competitions firm. Clients usually follow those brokers and that could quite possibly disrupt your potential income if you are in that department and then the rain makers leave. Deal volume can be significant while can be the size of the deals. If an institutional operator (bank, insurance company, pension fund, etc . ) has a appearance in an urban market, the leasing or sale assignment that they may award to a larger firm can be a "year maker" if the assignment is completed. Usually some time end bonus money flows down to the salespersons and also require participated in the marketing effort. Senior brokers should have high level corporate contacts through either a business association, place club, educational institutions, commercial lenders, or contacts called from other cities where a corporate headquarters may be placed. If the firm owners or top brokers are not building those contacts and relationships, but are relying on typically the mid-level brokers to do that you may want to look at another firm in whose top management is better involved. You want work to filtration down from the top instead of getting the crumbs leftover as a result of competing firms who have a solid community (business and nonbusiness ) presence. B). Smaller firms usually will have an important broker/owner running the operations with or without dealer partners in the firm. Quite often they will have a residential team and a separate commercial department in which a few of the brokers will probably work in residential and commercial properties. A few details about Smaller Firms: Future ownership shares may be proposed depending upon deal volume and commitment to the firm. Should the founding broker of the firm is nearing retirement age, the way may be better provided that they are maintaining an fully busy presence in the community. Commission percentages may be much more liberal after a minimum threshold of deal volume is met to the cost of your desk, phone, secretarial, etc .. A salary and / or draw is less likely to be offered. A senior agent may be more likely to have you work directly under him regarding any property. You will be accountable directly to him and, because should be the case, learn "on the job. " If there is the residential component to the firm, those brokers specializing in who area should be a source of commercial referrals and the very same for you referring any possible single family residential with them. Smaller multi-family buildings should be on the commercial side of your business, but motels may be on either side. This would vary in an area such as Ft. Lauderdale, Hilton Travel, or New Jersey resorts where a residential owner with a union to the firm may also own retail rentals. Most local areas have a Realtors Association, Chamber of Commerce or perhaps other organization that offers discounted insurance and other benefits for you to its members. Whereas a larger firm may have a good collaborative health plan and other bulk discounted benefits to the employees, you should look at the costs for each that are offered. I have not discovered that much of a saving on either side, but any time you leave a larger firm you will need to find the alternatives that are low-priced. Your business exposure may actually be more effective working out of a smaller sized firm and being a primary contact for that firm as an alternative for a secondary contact at a larger firm. Property databases as well as Internet have provided smaller firms with much better admittance to real estate information than in the mid-'90's and before once only larger firms could afford to maintain proprietary place information for a larger market. Launching a significant marketing campaign for just a property can be expensive even with the Internet and smaller providers will have a lack of cash resources to compete for big property listings. Deal size, therefore , will be smaller and you may have to strive for volume,

[nuttersincorporated]

Why the original Irene Adler is so much better than modern media would have you believe

Last month I got the Sherlock Holmes: The Definitive Collection from Audible and I’ve been slowly listening to all the Sherlock Holmes stories since then (I’m still not even a third of the way through yet because it’s 72 hours long). Last week, I listened to ‘A Scandal In Bohemia’ and since then, I’ve been annoyed by how Irene Adler has been treated in the recent adaptations of Sherlock Holmes.

Firstly, I sick of modern adaptions making it so that Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes are in love with each other.

Irene does not love Sherlock. Instead, she loves a lawyer called Godfrey Norton, who loves her back. In the story, she married him and was glad to does so. When Irene realised that Sherlock had been employed to steal from her, she and Godfrey actually fled England never to return.

Sherlock doesn’t love Irene either. He respects and admires her but he doesn’t love her. Sherlock is fascinated by Irene; she is The Woman, she is one of the few people who ever beat him and the only woman to do so. Irene changed Sherlock’s mind about women. Before her, he thought all women where predictable and easy to manipulate but she proved him wrong. Sherlock might see Irene as an equal and respect her but he doesn’t love her.

To Sherlock Holmes she is always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex. It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love for Irene Adler. All emotions, and that one particularly, were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind. He was, I take it, the most perfect reasoning and observing machine that the world has seen, but as a lover he would have placed himself in a false position. He never spoke of the softer passions, save with a gibe and a sneer. They were admirable things for the observer -- excellent for drawing the veil from men's motives and actions. But for the trained teasoner to admit such intrusions into his own delicate and finely adjusted temperament was to introduce a distracting factor which might throw a doubt upon all his mental results. Grit in a sensitive instrument, or a crack in one of his own high-power lenses, would not be more disturbing than a strong emotion in a nature such as his. And yet there was but one woman to him, and that woman was the late Irene Adler, of dubious and questionable memory.

Secondly, I’m not happy that modern adaptions keep making Irene Adler a villain. Normally, they make her work for Moriarty too which just… no! Stop that! Bad media!

Don’t tell me that Elementary (my fav modern adaption) is better. It is better and it was a nice twist but it still made her the villain.

Irene Adler is not a villain or even a criminal in‘A Scandal In Bohemia.’ She is actually the hero of the story. Sherlock Holmes might be the protagonist but he is a hired and willing minion for the bad guy.

Five years before the start of the story, the then prince of Bohemia, Wilhelm Gottsreich Sigismond von Ormstein, Grand Duke of Cassel-Felstein, had a romantic relationship with Irene. He told her he loved her, that she was the only woman for him and he promised her the moon and stars. He even sent her letters with these promises and declarations of love written down. However, Wilhelm had no intention of keeping those promises because she was a star of the opera and he was royalty. In his eyes, she was beneath him.

When Wilhelm became king of Bohemia, he started looking for a suitable wife and settled on Clotilde Lothman von Saxe-Meningen, second daughter of the King of Scandinavia. He was planning to propose to her but Irene threatened to send Clotilde the letters that the king had once sent her. She’d been hurt by his actions and if he wasn’t going to keep his promises to her, she could at least warn Clotilde about what sort of man he was.

The king wants the letters back because if Clotilde had any doubts about his past behaviour, she’d refuse to marry him. Before coming to Sherlock Holmes and employing him to steal the letters, the King of Bohemia had already made five attempts to retrieve the letters.

"Five attempts have been made. Twice burglars in my pay ransacked her house. Once we diverted her luggage when she travelled. Twice she has been waylaid. There has been no result."

"No sign of it?"

"Absolutely none."

Irene Adler hasn’t done anything wrong but because she has threatened to reviled the king’s true character, he has had her home ransacked. Since that failed, he employs Sherlock Holmes to retrieve the letters for him.

The king doesn’t even care if Clotilda finds out the truth as long as she remains ignorant until after they are married because then it will be too late for her to back out. He swears Sherlock and John Watson to secrecy for two years. After that, they can tell anyone they like because he won’t care who knows the truth.

Sherlock is happy to take on the case and even gets John to break the law in the attempt to get the letters. Luckily, Irene realises what Sherlock is doing and she outwits him. She escapes with her new husband and the letters. She does leave one letter though.

MY DEAR MR. SHERLOCK HOLMES,

    You really did it very well. You took me in completely. Until after the alarm of fire, I had not a suspicion. But then, when I found how I had betrayed myself, I began to think. I had been warned against you months ago. I had been told that if the King employed an agent it would certainly be you. And your address had been given me. Yet, with all this, you made me reveal what you wanted to know. Even after I became suspicious, I found it hard to think evil of such a dear, kind old clergyman. But, you know, I have been trained as an actress myself. Male costume is nothing new to me. I often take advantage of the freedom which it gives. I sent John, the coachman, to watch you, ran upstairs, got into my walking-clothes, as I call them, and came down just as you departed.

    Well, I followed you to your door, and so made sure that I was really an object of interest to the celebrated Mr. Sherlock Holmes. Then I, rather imprudently, wished you good-night, and started for the Temple to see my husband. We both thought the best resource was flight, when pursued by so formidable an antagonist; so you will find the nest empty when you call to-morrow. As to the photograph, your client may rest in peace. I love and am loved by a better man than he. The King may do what he will without hindrance from one whom he has cruelly wronged. I keep it only to safeguard myself, and to preserve a weapon which will always secure me from any steps which he might take in the future. I leave a photograph which he might care to possess; and I remain, dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes,

    Very truly yours,

    IRENE NORTON, nee ADLER.

Irene Adler is a frigging awesome character and she deserves so much better than her modern depictions! A woman marrying for love might not be revolutionary anymore but this story was when it first came out.

If modern adaptions really want to modernise Irene Adler, they are doing it the wrong way. Stop making her a lovesick villain who pines for Sherlock Holmes.

Here’s an idea; make Irene Adler a detective too and make her as good at it as Sherlock. She could learn about cases through her spouse as well as from clients who come directly to her. After all, her husband (who can be changed to her wife) is a barrister.

It would even work if the adaption was still set in Victorian times. There would be plenty of women who’d feel more comfortable coming to Irene than Sherlock. Plus, we know that she can pass for a man any time she wants.

I’ll leave you with the end of ‘A Scandal In Bohemia’

"What a woman -- oh, what a woman!" cried the King of Bohemia, when we had all three read this epistle. "Did I not tell you how quick and resolute she was? Would she not have made an admirable queen? Is it not a pity that she was not on my level?"

"From what I have seen of the lady she seems indeed to be on a very different level to your Majesty," said Holmes coldly. "I am sorry that I have not been able to bring your Majesty's business to a more successful conclusion."

"On the contrary, my dear sir," cried the King; "nothing could be more successful. I know that her word is inviolate. The photograph is now as safe as if it were in the fire."

"I am glad to hear your Majesty say so."

"I am immensely indebted to you. Pray tell me in what way I can reward you. This ring --" He slipped an emerald snake ring from his finger and held it out upon the palm of his hand.

"Your Majesty has something which I should value even more highly," said Holmes.

"You have but to name it."

"This photograph!"

The King stared at him in amazement.

"Irene's photograph!" he cried. "Certainly, if you wish it."

"I thank your Majesty. Then there is no more to be done in the matter. I have the honor to wish you a very good-morning." He bowed, and, turning away without observing the hand which the King had stretched out to him, he set off in my company for his chambers.

And that was how a great scandal threatened to affect the kingdom of Bohemia, and how the best plans of Mr. Sherlock Holmes were beaten by a woman's wit. He used to make merry over the cleverness of women, but I have not heard him do it of late. And when he speaks of Irene Adler, or when he refers to her photograph, it is always under the honorable title of the woman.