#DEFINITELY DID NOT REMEMBER TO DO THIS 2 HOURS AFTER MY QUEUE POST TIME...in my defense I had like 2 things to do today | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cheesy09 · 3 years ago

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[CN] Kiro’s Crossing Together Date

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

[Note: This date was translated with the help of google translate :>]

[PART 1]

The white light of the car lights drew arcs in the rain, illuminating the dark gray morning.

I went against the flow of people and walked into the studio after work. My shoes were soaked in water, but my footsteps became brisk.

As I put the umbrella in the plastic bag, a faint voice came from the lounge.

Savin: Kiro, should we cancel this event? Even if it's postponed, it will be difficult for you to make time for these two months.

Savin said hesitatingly. His tone sounded a little awkward. Kiro seemed to hesitate for a moment before responding to him.

Kiro: But the audience will be disappointed if we cancelled so hastily. Let me think of something.

Kiro: It's past six o'clock. Give me two hours. Before the staff on the set get to work, I'll definitely give you an answer.

I knocked on the door, and Savin appeared behind the door crack with a slightly perplexed expression.

Kiro: Savin, is the director looking for me?

MC: Good morning, Savin.

As soon as I finished speaking, a hand hurriedly pulled Savin aside.

Kiro: MC? This isn't just in my head and I'm having hallucinations...

While he was still a little dazed, I walked into the lounge and handed the bag stained with a little water droplets over to him.

MC: A hallucination wouldn't bring you breakfast!

Kiro consciously handed the red bean bread to Savin, leaving himself a rye toast sandwich.

Savin: MC, you came just in time, thank you! I have something to do with the producer. You two should go back early and rest.

Kiro: Mm. You've worked hard, Savin. You should also go home early!

After sending Savin away, Kiro took a long breath and turned his head to look at me.

Kiro: Miss Chips, why did you come here so early in the morning? Are you here to record a show nearby?

MC: Wouldn't I tell you if I came to record a show?

MC: Of course I am here—to take you home! Surprised?

Kiro: Take me home?

Kiro's eyes lit up for a moment, but the next second, he put on a serious expression.

Kiro: It's early morning and it's raining outside again. Why didn't you tell me...

MC: When I happened to work all night in the past, didn’t you often show up suddenly? I wanted to give you this kind of surprise too...

He was obviously very happy but deliberately put on a stern expression. I couldn't help but smile and rub his face.

MC: I brought you soy milk from the corner store. I went early today, so there was no queue at all. I was so happy!

The thermal bag in my hand was put in front of him as a shield. I only showed a pair of eyes from behind it and blinked at him.

Kiro took it helplessly, and kneaded my face in return. Seeing my face being rubbed into a funny expression, he finally smiled.

Kiro: Miss Chips should just rely on me to take you. In the future, you are not allowed to go out in the middle of the night without telling me. It's better for me to create such a surprise.

MC: Mm, I know Teacher Kiro. But it was still bright when I went out...

Kiro: [drinking] Mm... This soy milk is as delicious as always!

Kiro: Okay, I will accept your bribe this time.

[PART 2]

Kiro and I sat side by side in the back seat of the car, the warm wind making people a little sleepy.

Kiro: Miss Chips, It's so tiring to shoot night scenes...

He prolonged his tone and spoke in my ear. He leaned closer and the ends of his hair which had been dampened by the rain, rubbed against my cheek.

I straightened up and patted my shoulder.

MC: Sleep with me for a while!

Soft and slightly cold hair was pressed against my neck by a very light weight, bringing with it a slight itch.

I reached out and touched the top of his furry head.

MC: I remember one time after I was done working the entire night, I fell asleep while leaning on you in the car, just like this.

Kiro: Mm. I also touched your head like this at that time.

MC: Go to sleep. I'll call you when we’re about to get home.

Kiro leaned on me and nodded lightly.

The breathing near my ear was even and steady, but the weight on my shoulder was still light. He was not asleep.

MC: What's wrong? Are you thinking about what you discussed with Savin just now? I accidentally heard a little from outside the door...

Kiro: Yeah. Something went wrong with the live broadcast this afternoon.

MC: Was it the live broadcast of "Worry-Free Harbor"?

I, too, was following this new drama recently. In the show, Kiro played the role of a dessert chef. He would offer special refreshments and listen to the troubles of the guests.

Kiro: Yes, that's it. The original arrangement was for me and the dessert instructor to make the desserts in the drama during the live broadcast.

Kiro: But this morning, my shooting was ended. Savin told me that the instructor had a very severe acute asthma yesterday and couldn't come.

Kiro: If it's postponed, it will be indefinitely. My schedule for the most recent period of time has expired, and the live broadcast... may have to be cancelled.

Kiro looked a little distressed. He sighed and rubbed my neck.

Kiro: Although it’s okay to appear alone, I can’t make those desserts without an instructor.

MC: Hmm... how about making some simple desserts instead?

Kiro: Well, I actually thought about that. However, in the original live broadcast process, it is necessary to appropriately elicit some topics related to the plot according to the set of deserts that are made.

Kiro: If we switch to other deserts, it would greatly reduce the promotional effect.

It seemed that all the methods we came up with were difficult to use as temporary substitutes. Kiro and I fell into silence.

I saw the faint dark circles under Kiro's eyes and felt a little distressed.

I knew better than anyone that he certainly didn't want to disappoint the audience. I had to help him think of a solution quickly.

MC: Maybe there are other guests who could come here temporarily?

Kiro: I don't know if we can just change a guest...

After speaking in unison, we both laughed again. Kiro immediately picked up the phone and turned it over.

Kiro: If we're changing the guest... Let me first see if other actors in this show can come.

MC: I’ve worked with some artists with good improvisation skills before. There might be a suitable candidate!

[PART 3]

MC: Huh... no, the level of stalking is too bad. Hmm... this is not appropriate either.

I scratched my phone while thinking about it and suddenly heard a chuckle in my ear.

I raised my head when I heard the sound. Kiro was looking at me, and the exhaustion from the entire night couldn't conceal the full smile in those eyes.

Kiro: My Miss Chips is worthy of being a Gold Medal Producer. She has a lot of contacts.

MC: Even now, you still have the heart to tease me...

Kiro: I'm not teasing. I was just thinking... it feels good to rely on Miss Chips like this.

MC: You have solved so many emergencies for me, so you should rely on me more.

Kiro leaned into the back of the seat, stretched his body, and took advantage of the situation to encircle my shoulders.

Kiro: I feels like... I've encountered a difficulty in playing a game, but I'm so tired that I can't help but use a cheat.

I lowered my head and continued to search, whispering in a voice that only we could hear.

MC: It would be a great honor to be the cheat of The Great Master Key.

MC: I'm just an ordinary little fan of the superhero.

The hands around my shoulders pressed slightly harder, and my body was led to lean towards him.

Kiro: No, you’re the superhero's family.

A soft touch fell on my face, and his naughty hair brushed against the base of my ears, bringing a burst of warmth.

MC: Kiro...! I'm busy right now.

He smiled and drew a little distance, his chin still lightly resting on my shoulder.

Kiro: Okay— Eh? Miss Chips! Stop your hand.

MC: Ah! It's her, she's very suitable!

I flipped back through the address book, and Lin Mengmeng's name appeared on my fingertips.

Kiro: Do you remember? After the broadcast of "Worry-Free Harbor", you shared with me the video of her re-creation of the same dessert in the show!

MC: I remember! I've worked with her many times and her baking skills are really good.

MC: If she is willing to come, maybe there won't be a need to change the process of the live broadcast. I'll ask!

Kiro: Say... it’ll be more sincere if I contacted her directly.

MC: Then I'll say hello to her. We'll form a group and wait for Savin to join in with the partner.

Since Kiro asked in person, and because Lin Mengmeng was already very enthusiastic about the show, she agreed very readily.

Kiro: Mm, don't worry, Savin, leave it to me in the afternoon! The partner and Lin Mengmeng have worked very hard to follow up with you. And as for the contract and quotation, I think...

I listened to him as he advanced his work in an orderly manner, unconsciously being attracted to his eyes.

After a while, Kiro hung up the phone, let out a long sigh of relief, and found that I was looking at him with my chin supported.

MC: I didn't see it before, but it turns out that Superstar Kiro also has the potential to be a producer!

Kiro: I can't do the job of a producer like MC. I already found doing this difficult just now!

MC: But according to my observation, you are very thoughtful at every step, and you don't feel awkward at all.

Kiro: After all, since I'm asking others to make a temporary appearance, I have to let them feel at ease. Actually, my head is faint...

The street scene outside the window gradually became familiar. Kiro stretched out beside me and put down his phone.

Kiro: However, after returning home, I should be able to sleep well.

Before the live broadcast, Kiro and I went to the café reserved by the production team.

He only rested for more than three hours. He looked a little sleepy and moved his shoulders uncomfortably.

I stretched out my hand and squeezed him a few times, helping him relax his muscles. Kiro grabbed my hand and gently stroked my palm with his thumb.

MC: What do you want to eat at home today? I'll make it!

Kiro: Then I'm going to eat the luxurious ramen you ate during our video chat last time, the kind with pork luncheon meat, fish balls and green vegetables!

MC: Okay~ Seeing that you can still recite my dinner from a few days ago without any wrong ingredients, I'm relieved. Now live stream!

Kiro: Then I will go in first. Miss Chips, go find a place to rest!

He walked to the camera, and the surrounding staff rushed to find their own positions around him. Each was making the final confirmations.

As the photography light came on with a "pop", Kiro immediately entered his working state, and there was no trace of fatigue on his face.

Sure enough, as long as he was under the camera, he would always be radiant and full of energy.

Lin Mengmeng lived up to expectations. She not only successfully cooperated with Kiro to make the desserts from the show, but was also very knowledgeable of the plot.

While watching the scene, I watched the audience's interaction on the scrolling screen on my phone. Two hours passed by quickly.

At the end of the live broadcast, the audience asked Kiro to do the classic pose of the Worry-Free Harbor boss.

Kiro: Then I will satisfy everyone's urgent wishes. I hope you'll be happy every day!

He turned his body sideways and leaned over on the sofa. His right leg was casually cocked, and casually placed on his left leg.

The staff handed the matching hat of the boss's, and he turned it in a circle in his palm, like flowing water, and then lightly placed it on the top of his head.

Looking at the camera with clear eyes like the warm autumn sun, he seemed to be looking at me specifically.

There was a soft light in his azure blue eyes, and the worries in my heart seemed to be swept away.

Someone was whispering on the side, and they were full of praise and compliments for him.

Seeing that many people had picked up their phones, I couldn't help turning on my camera and quickly saved this moment.

Kiro: If you also have troubles that no one listens to, you're welcome to Worry-Free Harbor.

After saying that line, he smiled and winked.

On the screen on the side, comments of the same color boiled and gushed out in layers.

Every time we worked together, I found that he illuminated more people than I thought he did. But this Kiro belonged to me.

Our eyes met through the gap between the machine and the crowd, silently telling the sweetness in our hearts.

[PART 4]

The event finally came to a perfect end. Everyone withdrew from the stressful work situation and happily shared the desserts that were just made.

Staff Member: MC, thank you so much for introducing new guests this time! Here is the biggest cake for you!

MC: Thank you! Kiro invites you to drink coffee and tea. It's at the bar. You guys can help yourselves!

Everyone happily went to the bar to fetch the drinks, and I walked up to Kiro, showing a small amount of pride.

MC: How about it, Boss Kiro, aren't I very reliable?

Kiro stroked his chin thoughtfully.

Kiro: Of course Miss Chips is very reliable... but I found a major problem!

Kiro: In the "Kiro, please have coffee and tea" list, he himself isn't on it. What's going on?

I stuffed the white paper cup in my hand into his hand.

MC: This sleep-deprived guy isn't allowed to drink coffee, only this glass of milk!

Kiro took it with a smile, and took my hand along the way.

Kiro: Let's go, Miss Chips, there's no one over there. Let's sit and eat cake. [nervously] Ahem, I mean — I’ll eat with you.

We sat side by side in an empty corner, tasting the cake.

MC: Mm... Master Kiro's craftsmanship isn't bad, the cream is very well squeezed.

Kiro: Haha, that's because I squeezed it so many times during the shooting.

Kiro: By the way, I almost forgot the most important thing—

Kiro picked up his cell phone and called the original guest dessert chef. The two talked for a long time before Kiro hung up the phone with peace of mind.

Kiro: The instructor said he was fine, so he could just rest in the hospital for a while.

Kiro: I will send someone with some flowers and fruit baskets later, and when work is over, I'll go see him.

I nodded and glanced at the new message on my phone.

MC: Savin said that the driver is coming soon. We'll go home after eating the cake~

Kiro: Mm, okay.

Kiro raised his head slightly and took a sip of milk, but his eyes kept looking at me, hesitant to speak.

MC: What's wrong, is there something annoying this Worry-Free Harbor boss?

Kiro: Cough, it's not an annoyance, it's... this.

Kiro took my hand, and I didn't know when, but there was a small dessert bag placed there. Inside it, were some bear biscuits.

Through the transparent laser paper bag, I saw the strange shapes and expressions of those little bears, the kind that would make people laugh.

MC: Pfft— Well, very much like Master Kiro's style.

Kiro: I knew you would laugh!

Kiro: Actually... this is what I asked my instructor to teach me privately when I was filming "Worry-Free Harbor". I wanted to make something that wasn't in the show - something only for you.

I untied the bow of the bag, took out a piece and tasted it.

MC: The taste isn't bad!

Kiro: Really? That's good! Although it's a bit ugly, this is the only work I have done by myself today!

Kiro: In fact, I get a little frustrated in making desserts live, after all, you also know my true level...

Kiro: The more I'm praised, the more I think I must do a good job, and then I get nervous.

Kiro: Those sparkling desserts, like Kiro in front of the camera, not only carry my efforts, but also carry everyone behind the scenes.

His gaze shifted to the cookie that wasn’t delicate enough, and then to me.

Kiro: But what's inside here is Kiro's efforts alone. There is his guilty conscience and timidity, as well as his hard work and seriousness. I just want to leave these to you.

Kiro: If you are here today, you can give me more confidence than all those compliments.

Iridescent lights flowed over the laser paper bag in my hand, like a priceless treasure was wrapped in it. I held it gently.

MC: In fact, I've experienced this many times.

MC: But then I remember that I can tell another person about my troubles. He would give me the best encouragement in the world, and I would relax a lot.

MC: So in the future, you have to be like today — tell me your difficulties and rely on me.

MC: Even a superhero can have a guilty conscience and be afraid. Of course, he can also be distressed.

Probably because I looked a little serious, Kiro stretched out his hand and pinched my face into a smile.

Kiro: Miss Chips, when I have you by my side, it seems that no matter where I am, I feel like I'm back home.

Kiro: I can be less powerful, can secretly share food, and can confide in you all the little troubles.

MC: Ordinary Kiro is also very handsome and cute. For me, he is also my... family.

MC: So in the future, I will always be by your side, sharing all the happiness with you, and also helping you with your little troubles.

The setting sun dropped its remaining warmth on his lips. He lowered his head, and the warmth lightly fell on my forehead.

Kiro: Mm, we have a deal.

Call + Moments: here

Masterlist: here

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc kiro #SOBBING #😭💕

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absurdthirst · 3 years ago

Note

To the anon struggling with writing and feeling like they aren't getting results back:

I'm new to writing (just started in November!) And new to Tumblr. I did a little research on how Tumblr works (it doesn't lmao) and I've tried out these techniques and it's what works for me. I saw a definite uptick in interactions and reblogs since then (I am by no means an expert):

Only the first 5 tags show up in search. Add more of you want, but save your tag comments until after those 5

Consequently, make sure those tags are what people are looking for or are more popular. Character name or character name x reader, x you, etc.

Post at the right time of day. When I started, I was posting at noon my time (I'm in EST). Which I think is why I got minimal interaction coupled with being new. I saw others talking about posting between 4pm - 7pm est because they're catching the other time zones here at at a good times (just before or after dinner, getting out of work, etc). I personally do 7pm est.

Then reblog every 2-3 hours or so. After the post goes live, I reschedule with my tags that I've picked and have it go out every 3 hours for about 24 hours or so. This way international time zones have a chance to see it, whether they're on my taglist or not.

Check your analytics. It will show you when people are interacting most with your blog so you can figure out when the best time to post would be.

Back on the tags, sometimes I'll reorganize them on a reblog to see what works and what doesn't. Just because I search for a term a lot doesn't mean it's searched a lot. Play around and see what works.

Reblog your old stuff, especially with the news tags as I said above. I'm guilty of not doing that but when I share my masterlists of a series, especially if it's still active and in about to release a new chapter, I do see a little interaction from it!

I made a masterlist for all of my characters individually. And then once I figured out the tag thing, I went back and added tags. I got a bunch of reblogs and followers just from that and some of them I see interacting with my stuff still!

I'm TERRIBLE at self promotion. Always have been. BUT I make sure to try an interact with other blogs, reblog, network, etc. There's probably a discord or 2 in your fandom if that's your jam. You can promote your works there (just remember that you'll want to vibe with the discord too. Not every channel is for everyone and that's ok!)

Seriously, interaction. When your name is seen more, people tend to go look at your stuff. I'm behind on my reading, but I know I go for those that I know or interact with me the most and check out their stuff simply because I remember the name. Plus it allows me to give back (I known its not required but I like to)

I also try to keep my blog active by using my queue. I'm not sure if that helps but I do it anyway lol

I can't guarantee this will work, but it's worth a try if you haven't! I hope this is ok to address this here, but I just want to pass on what I've learned in case it helps others!

Writing anon!!!!

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beignetbenny · 4 years ago

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If you're comfortable would you share more you projecting your relationship onto Zukka? I originally followed you from the grocery trip post and i honestly love that sort of thing

You... you want me to project my relationship onto Zuko and Sokka more? My relationship? The one where my GF texted me “if i cosplay zuko and you cosplay sokka and we kiss would that be crazy or what?” that relationship?

I have literally been DYING to do this

Zuko and Sokka met in their junior year of college (performing arts college because if we’re projecting we’re projecting) and the first time Sokka sees him he’s already like: I’m in love

Since Zuko is an arts student, his style is a little more on the quirky side i’m not gonna lie. It’s usually a mix of grunge and goth stuff with the occasional surprise like “oh you have a turtleduck pin on your backpack. Are those pride flag socks?”

Sokka already had a pretty established friend group, but Zuko had transferred back in that semester after taking a leave of absence for family reasons. So, immediately sokka takes him in.

Zuko becomes really good friends with Aang and Katara and Suki and Toph of course, as they spend most of their time together. With rehearsing, running to get food at obscene times of the night still in their dance gear because rehearsals ran long. They food hop and get boba at 2 am, coffee at 3 am, McDonalds at 4 and so on. They go out and get pasta at midnight and refer to it as pasta time. Only one of them has to drop that phrase alone in the groupchat and everyone agrees on a time. Pajamas be damned. They get away with it because technically they are student athletes

A joke by Sokka that is run into the ground by the time they sneak ben and jerrys into a Tap level 5 placement. Zuko is the only other one out of the friend group that gets the highest dance placement as Sokka. It’s understandable, tap dancing is very hard, its’ a difficult skill, and not everyone can do a winged time step into navy time steps it’s rightfully difficult and the timing is off

So... the two of them start rehearsing together more. It wasn’t that they didn’t a lot before, but the class was mostly split and sure they were definitely friends outside of classes too but Sokka felt like his super mega crush on the hot belter who came in with Aftershocks from Next to Normal was something he could get over. So he kinda stuffed it away the more they worked together.

Then they get assigned a scene. An acting scene. An acting scene that ended in a passionate kiss. An acting scene the teacher said they were both capable of

So they rehearse it. They’re both dead letter perfect by the first night because they have expectations to live up too and both of their siblings just get things so much easier and suddenly they’re talking instead of rehearsing.

Three hours pass before they remember “holy shit we’re running this with blocking in class tomorrow we should probably get this right”

So they go through the scene, the emotions are pretty high, and they both lean in for a stage kiss before Sokka stops

Sokka: Wait... Zuko: What? Sokka: This is okay right? I can touch you? I mean we didn’t talk about it first and- Zuko: Sokka Sokka: And I know this is both of our first scenes with a kiss and i really respect you as an actor and i don’t want to make you uncomfortable Zuko: ...Sokka Sokka: And I just want to say that- Zuko: You can kiss me Sokka: What? Zuko: It’s not a big deal. We’re both trying to be professionals right? It doesn’t need to mean anything. Sokka: ... yeah...

So they kinda uh... kiss... and they don’t really stop... kissing

They do it in class and the kiss maybe plays off a little too well. The other classmates clap, the teacher gives feedback. His main point is that you’re supposed to be in love but you’re acting like it hurts.

And sokka makes some bullshit excuse about how he saw the character differently and Zuko tags along to that idea giving more validity to the statement and the teacher is like “alright, bet. You’ve proved your point. It’s probably not what the playwright wanted but this is about expression so i’m glad you feel expressed”

They don’t rehearse together anymore because both of them feel like they’ve gotten it and don’t want to ruin anything. They still hang out. They still have pasta nights. But things are kinda weird. But more than anything, Sokka really misses his friend

In the end, they end up having to do the scene for a showcase. Meaning that during rehearsals they have to do it again and again and again and again until it sort of just becomes normal

Good luck kisses back stage turns into kissing in greeting when they’re visiting each others dorm rooms turns to picking up food orders for each other. Never in front of people, because you can make it platonic. And realistically it’s only done so both of you can make the stage kiss feel more comfortable.

But that doesn’t stop Sokka from being like “woah man i’m getting mad butterflies when we kissed even though I immediately called you dude after the kiss broke"

So sokka comes up with a plan because as much as he likes whatever they’ve got going on, which he does because friend and kissing and cuddling is GREAT for someone who is scared of commitment because the chance of something happening to that person would literally destroy him and that doesn’t feel great.

Instead, the night of the showcase he gets all of his friends to hype him up to ask Zuko out with his favorite candy, a coupon to get pasta, and well... the obvious question

But Sokka waits until they’re in places like an asshole but also because he’s kinda terrified and if something goes wrong it could change the whole dynamic of the scene and they’d both flunk out of fucking THEATER SCHOOL AND-

And he shoves the snack and the coupon and a note he hastily wrote into Zuko’s hands before running to his own entrance to do the scene because he’s stage left while Zuko’s stage right.

And they do the scene, but somethings a little off. Zuko seems distracted but he’s also happy? like super happy? Like did the laugh queue and made it sound genuine instead of spiteful happy? And he smiled into the kiss? That wasn’t... something they did. But Sokka went along with it because the scene SEEMED to be working fine

And then they go off stage and the second the theater darkens, Zuko shoves the prop pillows into Sokka’s chest

Zuko: Fuck you Sokka: What? What did I- Zuko: I mean, yes, obviously yes. The hot tamales were a great choice but fuck you. Sokka: Yes? Zuko: Yeah!

And that’s the only conversation they get in because they have to help with the other prop changes but the moment they are finally backstage and their mics are off they kiss in the little hallways backstage that goes from one entrance or another

(at least they think they’re mics are off but uh... that was embarrassing and i don’t want to put that on them carrying on)

When the show ends and they’re both wiping they’re stage makeup off about to leave their director approaches them and obviously they both think they’re in trouble because they just did a 180 to what they had practiced for the last month but the director loved it. And then he asks them why it was different and Zuko admits that something finally clicked. And the director chalks it up to opening night vibes and that now they should keep it that way for the rest of the performances

The night the show closes they do a Gaang pasta night and the rest of them don’t even realize anything is different until Sokka reaches over and takes something from Zuko’s plate (which was usually off the table and would result in getting fussed at) that they noticed something was up.

#zukka #eli tries to write #theater kid au #Anonymous

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trash-but-respectable-trash · 4 years ago

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No time to die (angst one shot, Diavolo x F!MC)

Based on Billie Eilish song “No time to die”

(So I deleted the first version I posted by accident and like I dumbass I hadn’t saved it anywhere, so I tried for like 2 hours to find it somehow, but to no use. I was really sad because it took me hours to write it and I really liked how it turned out, but I don’t want this story to go to waste, because I really liked it and I have ideas for a continuation with Diavolo’s POV. So sorry if you already read it, but this version will be a bit different since I’m starting from scratch and I have no reference to how I wrote the first version. I hope you all enjoy anyway!)

Part 2 is up!

You should’ve known something wasn’t right. You should’ve known that this was too good to be true. You knew of his title and what he was, a demon, but you still decided to ignore it.

You should’ve known something was up when Diavolo started spending a lot more time with you than any other exchange student. He would always asked questions about you and your life in the human world. You should’ve known there was more to it than politness when Diavolo suggested for you to stay at his castle one night, when a friendly tea afternoon turned out to end much later than you anticipated. It wasn’t the first time it happened, but usually Barbatos would walk you home when it was too dangerous for you to walk back home alone.

You definitely should’ve known when you had your first time together. Diavolo had kissed you like you were an animated object. It felt animalistic, almost robotic, he wasn’t making love to you, that’s for sure. Right after he was done, he left pretending that he had paperwork to do and he did the same thing every other time after that.

You thought it was because of his nature, demons do not know how to love, at least that’s what you were telling yourself.

Diavolo would bring you everywhere and acted like a perfect gentleman in public. He would show you the most beautiful places in the Devildom and would present you to the most influential people in the Devildom even calling you his princess in front of everyone. That was how he made you feel in public, like a princess. But once you were both being closed doors he would act like he didn’t care about you. Sure, he would ask you questions about the human world from time to time, but you never felt like he truly wanted to get to know you past the basic information about yourself.

Everyone tried to warn you in one way or another. Solomon once told you to be careful around demons, that they cannot be trusted: “We humans, have to look out for each other.” As for the angels, Simeon simply told you that: “Demons aren’t made to love humans, they’re made to hate them.” You thought you would be the one to change that fact, how foolish of you.

You remembered the way the brothers would look at each other every time you said you were spending the day or night at Diavolo’s castle. They wanted to warned you, but they knew they couldn’t or else they would all be in danger. So they would simply told you to be careful. You thought they were simply jealous, but now you know better.

When you finally learned the truth, you couldn’t help but think about all the warnings and red flags you got during the last few months.

It’s not like Diavolo wanted to torture you or make you his concubine, not it wasn’t anything like that.

You learned of Diavolo’s true intentions by accident. You were waiting for him in his office because you knew this would be the first place he would go to once he got home. His desk was a mess, so you decided to clean it a bit before his return. Most of the papers scattered across his desk were student reports, but one letter in particular caught your attention. It was handwritten and started with: “Dear father”. Your curiosity got the better of you and you started to read the letter.

“Dear father,

Everything is going as planned. The exchange program is going wonderfully. The last time I wrote to you, I mentioned one of the exchange student, MC. She is a human like Solomon but she does not have the same magical power as him. I think she is in love with me, but I am only acting like I am in love with her too so she can trust me.

She is the key of my plan to rule over the three realms. With the information I am getting from her about the human world, it will be easier for me to take it over, especially with her on my side. I also needed her to trust me so she can tell the future exchange students of how wonderful her year was here with us, demons. I will put my plan into action once I get the trust of the Celestial Realm as well. She will be of great use for this as well, since the angels will see how happy she is here and how protected she is.

Do not worry father, as I will continue your legacy and make you proud of me. Nothing will stop me and as for now, everything is going as I planned. The next step for me will be to marry her, like you told me once, marriage and love are two different things. I need to think of what is best for our kind.

Your son,

Diavolo.”

A single tear fell onto the letter before you heard Diavolo’s footsteps approaching his office doors. You quickly put the letter back to his original place on his desk and sat on his office chair like nothing happened.

There were only three weeks left to the exchange program when you found the letter, so you acted like nothing was wrong for the remaining of the exchange program. You faked smiles and made it seemed like you were still madly in love with Diavolo. Two can play that game. You spent so little time alone with him that he didn’t notice anything.

You were finally on your last day of the student exchange program.

You told Diavolo earlier that morning that you had found the letter to his father on his desk and that you knew of his true intentions now. You thought he would lock you in his castle to prevent you from leaving the Devildom or maybe even kill you, but he did nothing of the sort. To your surprise, he had let you go without a fight. After all, you were of no use to him if you didn’t trust him.

You decided to sing one last song before you left the Devildom forever. Not for Diavolo, but for yourself.

You took your place on the stage. You were now in front of all of your friends, the brothers, your classmates, the other exchange students, Barbatos and Diavolo.

You were wearing an elegant black dress that Asmodeus bought you a couple months ago. He spent all afternoon doing your hair and makeup. You barely talked, which was very unusual for the both of you, but Asmo knew what you just went through and what this day and this song in particular meant to you so he didn’t talk, focusing on his task instead.

You had told the brothers about Diavolo’s plan that same morning. They all knew something was wrong in some way, but they never could’ve guessed what was Diavolo’s true plan. They all apologized to you for not being there to protect you.

The music started to play as you waited for you queue to start singing.

I should've known

I'd leave alone

You should’ve known you would leave the Devildom alone. You should’ve known that this was just all a dream that you would have to wake up from one day to face the truth. That you were nothing more than a pawn in Diavolo’s game of chess and that the only outcome possible was for you to leave the Devildom alone with your broken heart.

We were a pair

But I saw you there

Too much to bear

You were my life

But life is far away from fair

You dedicated yourself to a man who didn’t care for you, who didn’t love you. It was truly painful to accept the truth. He may have hurt you once, but you promised yourself this would be the last time he would ever hurt you.

Was I stupid to love you?

Was I reckless to help?

Was it obvious to everybody else

That I'd fallen for a lie?

You couldn’t help but think of how stupid you’d been. So naive to think that the prince of hell himself would actually fall in love with you. At first you were mad at yourself but also at the brothers. Why did they let you live in this fantasy filled with lies? Especially Lucifer, you thought you guys were close after what you had done to help his family get closer.

But then you remembered that Lucifer was bound to Diavolo and even if he knew what was Diavolo’s plan all along, he couldn’t tell you or you, his brothers and himself would all be in danger.

So, while you were now singing in front of your formal classmates, the brothers, Solomon, Simeon, Luke, Barbatos and Diavolo particularly, you never felt so hurt, but so powerful.

This was your swan song, the last time most of them would ever saw you again, would ever heard your voice again. You wish it would’ve gone completely differently, but you weren’t safe anymore in the Devildom. No one could protect you here, not the brothers or even the angels.

You could tell some of them were crying, knowing full well they let you down, but this was your own decision for once. You weren’t blinded by lies and by the glamorous life Diavolo offered you outside of his castle, anymore.

You were never on my side

Fool me once, fool me twice

Are you death or paradise?

Diavolo may had fooled you once, but you knew the truth now and you would never be fooled again. You would prove to him that you were more than a fragile human he could play with and use to his own advantage.

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die

You wanted to cry so badly, but you didn’t want to give Diavolo the satisfaction of seeing what he had done to you. So, you swallowed your tears and put on a strong face.

I let it burn

You're no longer my concern

Faces from my past return

Another lesson yet to learn

“You’re no longer my concern” this was a hard one for you, because at this exact moment, you realized that you didn’t care for Diavolo anymore. Sure, he had broken your heart and hurt you pride, but you were stronger than that now, stronger than ever before. You looked at him while singing these words and you could tell that he was uncomfortable by the look on his face and the way he was squirming in his seat.

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die

No time to die

You were almost at the end of the song when you realized you weren’t looking at Diavolo anymore. You were now looking at your true friends, the brothers, Solomon, Simeon and Luke. Your experience in the Devildom might not have ended the way you expected but you wanted to leave it with a good memory.

Fool me once, fool me twice

Are you death or paradise?

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die

The song had ended and now Diavolo was nothing more than the past. At the last second before you left the stage to find your true friends, you turned to Diavolo once last time and said: "I would’ve told you to burn in hell but fortunately, that’s already where you are.” You immediately turned around again, without letting him enough time to speak or to react to what you just said.

After that, everyone returned to the House of Lamentation, everyone expect for Diavolo who went back to his castle alone.

You all said your goodbyes while Barbatos was standing awkwardly in a corner of the room.

After a while, Barbatos told all of you that it was now time to leave.

The first one to leave were the angels. You thanked them for what they did for you during the exchange program and made them swear they would come see you in the human world. You could tell that Barbatos was growing impatient, but you didn’t care.

You finally let the angels go when Barbatos opened a portal leading to the Celestial Realm and with one last goodbye, the two angels stepped into it.

Next was you and Solomon. Barbatos opened another portal, this one leading to the human world. You took Solomon’s hand before turning your head towards the brothers. They were now all crying, which also made you cried. You told them one last time that you loved them all, before turning back towards Solomon and said: “Let’s go home.” as you both walked into the portal.

You’ve been back to the human world for about a month now. It wasn’t easy at first adjusting to your old life. It would be a lie to say you didn’t think about him once in a while, but it didn’t hurt as much anymore. The main reason for that was that you had the help of Solomon who you’d spent a lot of time with.

You were also grateful for the brothers who all took turns to come see you in the human world. You got closer to them and it made you think about what would’ve happened if you didn’t fell for Diavolo. Would you have fallen for one of the brothers instead?

Oh well, you can’t rewrite history and you might still be a foolish human, but you were now a foolish human surrounded by people who truly loved you.

Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

There will be a part 2 to this with Diavolo’s perspective after MC’s gone. It will probably be dark, I just don’t know how dark I want it to be yet.

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cosmiclatte28 · 4 years ago

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Radio Romance (Doyoung x reader, Jaehyun)

This was on my wattpad too! Do check them out, I am working on my SuperM fanfiction.

Warning : Fluff, Doyoung and Jaehyun are radio DJs! Sweet ones obviously

fluff and safe for work ;)

enjoy !!!

A great hit by Adele fades out as the familiar prelude to my beloved radio segment chimes in. The catchy yet simple jingle makes me perks my ears.

"Good evening citizens! This is DJ Doyoung"

"And this is DJ Jaehyun. You are now listening to Night Paradise of One Two Seven Regular Radio"

"Where you can relax and sleep with sweet dreams." Said Doyoung.

"The time now is nine o'clock. It is Wednesday May 8 and tonight we will receive your song requests and of course the favorite Radio Romance program is still available." Jaehyunexplains their rundown.

I go to turn up the music louder, well the channel I am tuning in right now is our Campus' radio station and since freshman days, this radio station really helps me during the stress nights before finals until the lonely nights when I miss mother's home cook meal. I really love the program, listening to music, witnessing a guy confess to a girl he likes, sometimes I just like to listen to the bickering of the DJs, and mostly I just like having sounds in my silent room. I share an apartment with a foreigner from the same country but he is currently busy. And during these nights, the radio really entertains me.

"As we collect your messages and requests, first composition tonight will be from the latest hit by NCT. As the night is still early, we think a lot of our listeners are still sticking their nose to books and papers. To energize you, we present you Highway to Heaven." Jaehyun's deep voice echoes.

I smiled; this song is currently my mood booster. Picking up my pen, I can return to read my textbook and try my best to study more; Though it is challenging for me to keep on reading, instead of singing on top of my lungs while dancing wildly. As much as I want to do those two badly, I know that my parents sent me here to the United States from the Country of Ginseng and Kimchi to learn something and be someone. Halfway through the song, I can't hold back my feelings and grab my phone.

I quickly text a private message to someone,

"Seriously.. I can't focus. Finals are around the corner. Mum will kill me if A is not present."

I Hit the send button and locked my phone. I must not get carried away into chatting. That will end my life.

After calming my excited nerves with water, the radio DJs return with different love confessions and questions.

Ranging from

"What should I do to get this girl's attention? I'm super shy while she's the total opposite." The two each suggested dating advices. Which I believe were not from their experiences. It's definitely a google answer.

"I just broke up with my boy friend, and I need more comfort songs. Can you two please fulfil my request. Thanks, and DJ Jaehyun you're the best." To which Doyoung replies jokingly "Noted. More love songs. DJ Doyoung is in charge of songs tonight. You pick the wrong guy."

"I can't sleep tonight. I need to finish 3 works by 7 a.m. tomorrow. Please tune up the bpm." Jaehyun's cheeky remarks was "I think coffee will help you better than us. Our program ended at 10.. anyways, we hope you for the best! Fighting!"

Those are messages coming into their homepage

"Now moving on to the tweets, I have.." Doyoung laughs a bit

"To @osaka_prince I really miss you, let's meet for Takoyaki this week. Call me asap. From @nct_is_life"

"You heard that @osaka_prince, someone misses you! And next we have.."

tHis time Jaehyun's soothing voice exits the stereo

"To @ice_yongie how are you doing? I heard you tune into this channel regularly. Wish you all the best for your finals. From @fire_jung"

"Right... to every students, please stay healthy, have enough sleep, and prepare for your finals." Jaehyun said and continue with two more mentions.

After that they play another hit song, this time as the atmosphere starts to go bittersweet. Their choice was Because of You by Taeil.

The sweet voice and words I understands, made a good company for me. I finish reading my books as the last beat of the song drops and Doyoung'strademark voice comes in.

"We have one more hour to accompanyyour night. Now for the news, we have one from the school's Baseball team, one from the hospital and another from the cafeteria. After the news we'll head on to the Call Me Maybe segment. Please wait for it."

Jaehyun reads the news about the upcoming grand Baseball match this Thursday, it's Trojans vs Eagles. Don't forget to come with all your Trojans attire and merchandises we all know how the season will end. Winning is our middle name.

The next news was only about reminding students to take care of their health during finals and a new boba stall will open this Monday. Discount 50% for first 100 cups.

No matter how cheap that will be, I know I can't skip class just to queue for a boba. Not if I want to have my ass bloody red.

The Call Me Baby segment comes after 2 other compositions and oddly I love this segment. Though it may be weird to some people, listening someone making a voice note on air to their special ones and getting no reply.. still there is something in my heart that likes hearing those.

Apparently a lot of calls were desperate. From 5 voice message, 2 are clearly in a phase of knowing someone and trying to win their heart, the other 3 are asking how someone has been.. clearly they broke up one misses the other one, but have no choice other than to use the radio to ask his or her condition. Ego always wins right?

I feel bad for those three who cannot directly ask how the people who used to be special to them is feeling right now. Lucky I'm not in that condition.

Then they take a break with several advertisements and music.

I leave my room to wash my face and clean my books. Well I am sleepy, but I am waiting for someone to return home.

The radio DJs are currently online with the twitter. Since it is impossible to read every tweet on air, they take time answering some lucky listener's tweets. I scroll my twitter and smiles a little when my tweet got replied.

"Have strength! You can do it~" – DJ Doyoung

I retweeted it and afterwards continue scrolling and reading a lot of replies and stories. Apparently there's much more than love and broken heart problems. Some are posting questions of which food to eat, some are just saying hi, several others requested songs; others even post thank-you letters for the two DJ who work hard to make their nights enjoyable and fun.

I glance at the clock. It is 30 minutes to their closing. Turns out two hours is not a long time. Hufht if only every two hours lectures can be this quick and enjoyable.

The last segment was the story sharing time. Basically everyone can submit their inspiring stories to the channel's email and then the team will choose which one is good to share. Tonight the speaker was none other the school's favorite baseball captain. Lee Taeyong... he shares his baseball career path. He shares his hard works, his passion, and what keeps him moving forward. His 10 minutes talk is inspiring. I wiped a tear that falls from my eye, his story is really touching.

Jaehyun and Doyoung also seem to honor the man talking on air right now. They salute his never ending passion and hard work. Taeyong gets to greet some of his fans and cheer them up. The segment ends after 15 minutes and Both DJ wraps his visit by telling all listeners to support Taeyong and his team on field this Thursday.

More tweets are read and replied directly on air, soothing songs for sleeping also fills the room.

"We did not realize time is running. It was fun listening to your feeling. The stars are starting to shine on the clear sky. You might want to take a peek out of your window for a moment.And as the night deepens,our segment must end after this." Doyoung shares his regret.

"Right, we are sad Paradise Night is over, but worry not for we will see you again this Friday. Please keep on tuning into One Two Seven Regular Radio. I am DJ Jaehyun"

"and I am DJ Doyoung"

"We present you the last composition, UN Village by Baekhyun. Sweet Dreams and Good night." The two host harmonize and the calm upbeat prelude from UN Village takes over their voice.

My phone lights up as the song almost reach its chorus.

"I'm done. Going home now.. wait for me!"

I typed a reply and turn the volume louder.

I know that, I know that, I know Yes we are now

Hannam-dong UN Village hill Looking up at the moon from the hill

I walk from my room to the small balcony. The radio song fluently escapes my opened room. Isomehow remembered that Jaehyun or Doyoung earlier said the sky is bright. Turns out I can see sea of stars tonight. It's relaxing and pretty.

The front door of my apartment opens and closes. I turn around and see someone returning home with a tired face but a smile is still there.

"Thank you for waiting me... the stars are dancing tonight and the moon is big!" His attention distracted by the picturesque sky in front of our eyes. He stands beside me, one hand over my waist to bring me close to his warm body.

You and me, umm yeah

UN Village hill, eh

Side by side we look at the moon

We sway to the rhythm and the song ends not long after it. It was a nice closing song!

"I should be the one to say thank you!" I turn my head to face him.

He looks puzzled but a hint of smugness can't escape his lips which form a smile.

"Me? Why?"

"Because you did a great job hosting Paradise Night! I don't feel lonely and I can study better. Thanks to you and Jaehyun." I hug him and bury my face on his chest.

Doyoung softens at my words and returns my hug "Anything for my girl! Now, let me shower from the sweat of walking home.. and maybe I need some ramen tonight. I'm always hungry after hosting the radio." He walks to his room and after collecting his clothes and towel, he enters the toilet.

I make my way to the kitchen. Taking a pot to boil water and choosing our favorite night snack. While he clean himself under the shower, I prepare the dish and the side dishes.

"Hmmm it smells amazing! Thanks for cooking it for me." Doyoung greets me with a fresh smell of mint shampoo and he takes the sit across of me.

"Saranghae~" he sincerely gives me a heart with his fingers and digs into the food.

After a stifled laugh, I also begin eating mine.

Once again a beautiful night spent with the best radio DJ, who is luckily mine. Doyoung... na do saranghae💛

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shatterthefragments · 3 years ago

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Questions Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me @catholicnicky!

Hmm I'm supposed to tag 20 but I'll tag:

@kiaya, @caffeinatedbraincell, @randofando-spoonie, @cowgaykermit, @boutiquetraveltravelboutique @rhubarbdreams

If you want to play :)

1. Name/Nickname: Shatters <3

2. Gender: *shrugs noncommitedly*/nonbinary fits best

3. Star sign: okay so I took a thing and I'm going to assume that "Sun in Pisces" is this? bc i have no clue any time i look at that :eek:

4. Height: it is to my delight that I can definitely say 5'3" and not actually 5'2"! Bc I'm only a couple inches shorter than a friend and that would mean I'm taller than 5'2"!

5. Time: at the time of this Q: 12:20... ah I should get ready for bed soon... (longer by the time I post this at a little past 1 am)

6. Birthday: Feb. 26

7. Favourite Band: Currently? Maybe Polyphia? Most played currently at least. I've been vibing with Nothing But Thieves, Daughtry (again), 3OH!3 (i know), Florence + The Machine (though I have yet to do a discography playthrough yet), (ok so I'm scrolling through my saved artists for this one), The Neighbourhood, some local bands, and The Pretty Reckless lately.

8. Favourite solo artist: oh dear god. Um. Loving and/or getting back into: Rina Sawayama, Toby Fox, Ichika Nito, Tim Henson, Lil Nas X, King Princess, Hayley Kiyoko? idk it could be a lot more. But for Reasons it currently has to be Lil Nas X <3

9. song stuck in my head: because I caved and got TikTok (derogatory) because of the Chocolate Potato Cake (from 1912!) [and if you didn't just hear that in Dylan's voice you should find it on Youtube it's great] it's Maneskin's Beggin. When that's not recently heard, it varies between many other songs. If I whistle, it's usually a simple march we played in band. Maybe Soda. Maybe the hook from The Worst. Who knows~ not me!

10. last movie: either Waves or Wolf it's been so long since I've watched something. But soon hopefully Hartenstraat!

11. last show: Leverage! When I rewatched it last year or something!

12. when I created this blog: perhaps 2012 or 2013? I deleted most of my blog and started over though at around 15k posts so it may have been before that? But I don't think it was much before 2012 if so.

13. what I post: please tell me fuck if i know aaaaah whatever I see when I pop on when I have the capacity to actually reblog or queue it i guess? mostly related to whatver i'm fixated on <3 (speaking of - draining my queue for the tumblr post+ strike so that'll suck to get filled again afterwards :P)

14. last thing I googled: "Sugar and spice makes everything nice quote"

15. other blogs: theoldguardinshatters is my tog sideblog! I have some other... rather inactive blogs... not really sure I want to share them. Some are straight up empty.

16. do i get asks? not often

17. why I chose my URL: I'm a poet! jk jk (or am I?) but I wrote a poem back in middle school... actually a few versions based off the same premise/line (i was going to see if I could find it but looking back That Far in my blog is like "yeah, there's no way I'm faking my mental illness even when I fear I might be" so I'm just. not. going there. like holy shit maybe i should purge my old posts again...) But if I remember maybe I'll put what I can remember under a cut?

18. following: after swearing I'd never follow more than 100: 304. But many aren't active anymore :( (also literally me 5 yrs ago: 'oh god I follow more than 30 people I'm freaking out, it's too many!')

19. followers: 234, but who knows how many are porn bots I never really kept up back in the day

20. average hours of sleep: ...that is a good question... idk. maybe 5ish when I work and maybe 9ish when I am just me on my own?

21. lucky number: culturally: 8, personally, also: 3,7,13,17,19,23

22. instruments: formerly flute and tenor sax. I haven't exactly kept up oops >.< (so i guess rn I just whistle or hum or sometimes sing)

23. what am I wearing: shorts and a t-shirt

24. dream job: bookbinder, or some other creative pursuit that allows me to work with my hands - cake decorator? other arts? idk. maybe secretary? maybe fancy ass barista/pastry decorator? editor? illustrator? i have no clue please send suggestions <3

25. dream trip: with friends. Not having to drive the entire time. Longer than what I'm currently able to do... maybe a couple months... maybe in europe or asia? maybe just road tripping across canada. idk. It sure would be nice to see them again <3 hopefully camping with one (maybe two?) mid august-ish though! :D

26. favourite food: dim sum (bc I really miss going out with family!), sushi, desserts, pies, quiche, eggs benny, Popcorn, I'm not sure. those are also safe foods texturally usually too though.

27. nationality: canadian, half chinese.

28. favourite song: *shrugs* right now perhaps Soda or The Worst

29. last book I read: ...i don't know... maybe a reread I did of What They Always Tell Us or Martin Wilson's other book We Now Return To Regular Life last year?

30. top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: ...fuck. I don't know. Most of the fantasy universes I read are fanfic... Maybe.... Waves Cinematic Universe - now that Gabriele has a boat, we could boat! Some universe with wings! A universe with UBI *sideeyes gvmt* Stardew Valley universe! :D

from what I can remember maybe (again - Several Versions of this were written... back in middle school...)

Shatter the fragments to see what's left Release the weight That's on your chest

There's nothing left For you to see Nothing left But apathy

#tag game #tag games #this was fun but hard!#poem snippet under the cut #long post #kinda yeah

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calumrose · 4 years ago

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Trigger [Police/Gang!AU] Chapter 7 || C.H

A//N: I feel like I haven’t updated in so long when in reality it’s only been 3 days. I’ve got so many WIPs right now, and I am so excited to post more! So keep an eye out for those! But yes, here is chapter 7 for all you lovely people! Thank you to everyone who has been reading this so far, I really appreciate it!

Word Count: 11.6k

Summary: Eloise Gray and Calum Hood, not two people you would ever think to put together. What started as a ploy for power turned into a romance, resulting in the realisation that loving your enemy may not be such a bad thing after all.

Previous Chapters: Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6

12 Days Left

The constant honking of traffic, the incoherent chatter of bystanders, and the smell of excess petrol had become comforting to Eloise over the years. It was the natural scent of the city she resided in; the smell always so unbearably strong that it practically embedded itself in the noses of the visitors the city welcomed every day. And as much as Eloise wanted to escape and explore new places, she knew it would be a smell she would miss, even if only a little.

Central Park had only ever been a place she visited with friends, typically because the likes of Paige and Jackson lived in that side of New York, it being quite literally on their doorstep, unlike the rest of them who had to travel in order to visit the well-known location.

“Fancy a trip to the zoo?” Calum’s question caused her eyes to break from the sight of the busker to her left as they entered the park. She looked in the direction of where his eyes fell, looking towards the zoo entrance in all its glory along with the crowded queue that was almost painful to think about.

“Maybe another time,” She chuckled, not really in the mood to stand in a queue for god knows how long and pay a ridiculous price just to look at animals for a few hours, “Why don’t we just find a place to sit and have a conversation like normal people?”

“Normal people?” Calum’s tone held fake surprise, “You mean to tell me that you, Eloise, want to have an actual conversation with me?”

“Shocking stuff I know, now c’mon,” She responded with the same joking attitude, nudging the back of his arm as they continued to walk through the park. It was a sight that never failed to relax her, the greenery and gentle atmosphere being enough to temporarily transport her to a state of believing she had no worries, like she had nothing to be afraid of.

The past week with Calum had been nothing like she had experienced before. It felt good to know she had a safe space other than her own apartment although she had begun to feel unsafe in her own home, fearing that an unwelcome individual would burst through her door at any given moment after discovering her little secret. But in Calum’s home, she felt like she could live, breathe, and embrace every moment that she felt her heartbeat in her chest.

Seven days felt like seven months when they would lay together in his bed, fingers interlaced as she would trace his tattoos that were painted on his brown skin. She’d ask a million questions about them, wanting to know every story behind each individual piece of art that littered his body. She had learnt the story of how the initials on each hand were for his parents, the name on his left forearm was his sister, how the thistle on his bicep was a homage to his Scottish heritage, and how the Roman numerals on his collarbone represented a year that his life changed. There were so many stories he had shared that she felt as though she wouldn’t remember them, but she found herself being able to recall every single one each time her eyes caught sight of the ink.

Late night conversations were full of questions about their pasts, asking about their childhoods and about stupid things they could recall from simpler times. Calum was a lot more open about his own memories than Eloise was, many of her own recollections being forgotten with purpose. She didn’t know if she was ready to dig them all back up just yet, and Calum respected that.

Early morning rises would be filled with the smell of coffee and fruity essences from the yoghurt Calum had added to his shopping list after learning of Eloise’s love for the strawberry flavour. He learnt of her tendencies of waking up in the unsociable hours of the morning, her body clock naturally seeming to have shifted since she started staying at his place on a more regular occasion. Before, she was lucky if she could sleep past 10am, now it was 7am. Calum often woke up and found her in the kitchen, legs crossed as she sat up on the countertop by the window, staring out into the city as the sun rose up, a bowl of yoghurt and chopped fruit in her lap as she enjoyed the peaceful silence of the morning. He never disturbed her when she was in that state, his body just standing in opening of the hallway, dark eyes on her that were filled with nothing but admiration.

He had come to learn that she was very appreciative of the small moments that she got to experience, figuring that a lot of that was due to the great deal of loss she had suffered over the years; wanting to absorb everything she felt as though she took for granted, like the sunrise; a beautiful sight that only a lucky few got a chance to see in all its glory.

An open patch of grass caught Eloise’s attention, her fingers gripping onto the fabric of the sleeve of his empathy hoodie, subtly dragging him along so she could claim the empty space before any other civilian who was found at the park.

“El, babe, slow down,” The nickname fell from Calum’s lips like butter, as if it were always supposed to. He had dropped pet names like those a few times throughout their time together, and she wondered if he truly noticed how often he let them slip. They were natural to him, feeling as though there was no other name that he knew for her other than what he felt suited her so perfectly. Eloise could swear her stomach flipped every time a simple nickname fell from his soft lips, assuring her that she wanted nothing else than to hear them a thousand times over.

“You’re the one who dragged me outside, so we’ll do things at my pace, that’s the deal,” She smirked to herself as she adjusted her jeans slightly before sitting down at the dry grass.

“Since when did I agree to that?” He raised a questioning brow, the slight upturn of his lip’s inkling on a borderline smirk. That smirk would get him in trouble one day, Eloise could sense it.

The sun beat down on the city of New York, speckles of gold seeping through the gaps in the tree branches as it painted the park with strips of yellow. It created a sight that Eloise could only wish she could see every day; the sight of Calum sat there with the sun beating down, the bright rays only bringing out how golden he truly was, as if gold met gold in the moment the sun connected with him.

Brown eyes cascaded over the park around them, Eloise’s gaze settling on a young girl who sat a few metres from them. She watched as the young blonde’s hand worked against the sketchpad in her lap, eyes flickering up to glance at the grand building that towered over the park. Eloise felt her back straighten almost inquisitively, her head tilting slightly to side as if to try and get a better view of the pad.

“What’s she drawing?” Calum asked, leaning back against his hands to keep himself up, eyes watching Eloise’s curiosity get the better of her. He had noted that she was a curious person, always watching what people were doing, always noticing people who were so submerged in their own world, especially those of the artistic mind. She seemed to have an eye for it.

Eloise watched as the pencil in her hand glided along the paper, imagining she could hear the soft strokes of graphite against the white paper as if she were sitting right next to her. She had a lot of respect for art, it always blowing her mind how someone could create something so beautiful with their own hands. She let her brown eyes look back to Calum, noticing how his eyes were sat on her own, admiring the interest she had shown in the stranger’s talent, before she responded with a smile, “I think she’s drawing the top of The Plaza, because if you look just over there,” She pointed in the direction of where the girl had been looking, “You can see the top of the hotel over the trees.”

“You seem to notice a lot of artistic people in the city for someone who doesn’t hold an artistic bone in her body,” Calum chuckled, remembering how they had discussed previously Eloise’s admiration for art but never having the ability to create any herself. He pulled his arm close to his chest in attempt to avoid her hand as it tried to smack him, his nose scrunching just a little as the smile on his face grew. “Did you ever have any hobbies when you were a teenager? Or anything that stuck and grew into a passion?”

Eloise shook her head, wrapping an arm around her right knee as it bent so she could keep it close to her chest as she responded, “I was that kid who always tried to find a hobby but gave up within a few minutes because it wasn’t as straight forward as I wanted it to be, and I also had zero patience.” Her free hand reached up to pull down the sunglasses that were resting on her head, setting them against the bridge of her nose so they shielded her eyes from the sun as the bright glare shifted direction in the sky.

“Ah, so you were one of those kids,” Calum spoke as if it all suddenly made sense, resulting in another playful smack against his arm from Eloise. She had definitely met her match when it came to teasing people, “And yet there’s still so much for me to learn,”

“About?” Eloise quirked a brow, reaching around her back to pull down the back of her shirt, the cool breeze against her spine signalling that the shirt had begun to ride up.

“You,” Calum sat upright, reaching down between his legs as he plucked a few blades of grass from the ground, eyes watching his hands before he reconnected them with Eloise’s own dark ones, “I’ve got an idea; quick-fire quiz with random questions about you, you have one pass and you’ve got to answer everything, got it?”

“Why do I feel like I’m going to regret agreeing to this stupid game?” A playful roll of her eyes were given as she shifted her body weight, turning to her left so she could face him head on, “Right, go ahead then if you must.”

Calum parted his lips slightly as he looked up in thought. He hadn’t even considered making up any questions to ask, not quite expecting her to give in that easily. Who was he kidding? She gave into almost anything he asked, he knew that, so he should have been more prepared. The hamster wheel in his brain seemed to run for a few seconds before a thought came into his head. Thank god for that.

“First question, your favourite subject in school?” He raised an eyebrow, throwing a finger in her direction as he pointed at her, awaiting her answer.

Eloise pursed her lips as she thought for a moment. Come on El, this whole point of quick-fire questions is that it’s supposed to be quick. She tapped her fingers against her thigh for a few seconds before giving an unsure answer of, “I’d probably say English even though I was awful at it, Maths was more of my strong suit but I wouldn’t say I loved it,” She threw a shrug of her shoulders at Calum, “Next question.”

“Favourite colour?”

“Easy, it’s probably red.”

“I have never seen you wear the colour red,” Calum commented, his teeth brushing against his bottom lip as he highlighted the third word, “You barely wear anything other than black or grey, babe. So, for that reason I am calling bullshit.”

“And how would you know? What if I’m wearing red underwear?” Eloise couldn’t stop teasing smirk, a coy pout playing on her lips as she saw his eyebrows raise at her remark. She knew that he was fully aware of what colour her underwear was, as he was the one who had enjoyed the task of removing it from her hands before she had the chance to get dressed this morning, before pulling her into the bathroom for a morning of strenuous activities.

She swore she could see the events of their morning playing in his mind, watching as his jaw worked while her comment echoed in his ears. She loved watching how flustered he got in moments like that; moments where a certain tone, or a sudden string of words had him silenced.

“Favourite artist?” His voice sounded raspy; he hadn’t cleared his throat before he spoke. Eloise’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek, noting how he tried to brush over what she had said, fighting the urge to poke fun at the avoidance, knowing full well that what she had said had taken its effect on him.

“Oh that’s a tough choice,” She pursed her lips, a little smug due to knowing what he focusing on right then, she swore she could hear the little voice in his head as it shouted at him to think of something else, “It’s got to be either Mayday Parade or The Maine.”

“Good choice,” He nodded, coughing into his fist as a way of attempting to rid the scratch in his throat. Calum could barely hold himself together and Eloise knew what hold she had over him.

Both knees were pulled to Eloise’s chest, her arms resting on top before she placed her chin down to settle against her forearms, brown eyes looking up at the handsome man she found herself with. She always thought about what they were, if they had a specific title for what they had going on. Did she even want to put a label on what they had? Was there a point in labelling it? It was still something she was trying to figure out; how quickly she felt so normal with Calum, how suddenly everything just seemed like it fit into place as if it had always been that way.

Calum and Eloise had talked briefly about what they were. Calum never rushed her into deciding what she wanted, assuring that he would go with what she felt comfortable with and what she felt ready for. Calum knew he wanted no one else, only having eyes for the girl who had his heart in her hands. He felt vulnerable around her, as if she could shatter his heart within seconds. And unfortunately, there was truth in that concern, as was there with Eloise’s matching one in regard to him. They both held such a strong connection that could be turned and used against them in the press of a button.

The only thing Eloise was sure of was that Calum was everything she had been looking for without even knowing it. He was all she could have wanted in someone; gentle, caring, understanding, forgiving, and so much more that she couldn’t put into words. She had admitted that to him a few mornings ago when they were lying in his bed together, limbs tangled within the sheets, her fingers combing through his hair as they stared at one another. Calum voiced his understanding over her concern for how she felt, suggesting they just say that they’re exclusive with one another, keeping it private, but known to each other that there was no one else in the picture, only the two of them who had eyes for the other.

The little pet names seemed to fall into habit rather quickly after that conversation, the next morning being the first time Calum dropped one in the moment, yawning before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek before climbing out of the entangled sheets to make his way into the bathroom to get himself ready for work. Eloise had let it slide at first, assuming it was just a slip of the tongue, but then they grew to be more regular, and she couldn’t deny that they didn’t not get her heart going.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Calum spoke up after a few minutes, “My ass is getting numb sitting here.” Eloise looked up to find him standing already, hand reached out for her to grab onto.

“We’ve been sitting for barely twenty minutes and you’re already complaining,” She scoffed, a gently chuckle being sounded as she reached up and grabbed onto his hand. She couldn’t hold back the soft grunt she let out as she let him pull her to her feet, focusing on the warmth of his hand that held onto hers. She noted how he didn’t let go, adjusting his fingers so they slipped in between her own, his hand practically enveloping hers in warmth as they moved back onto the path that led through Central Park.

Calum’s hand was so much larger than hers, she couldn’t help but notice the difference every time he held her hand, the size almost laughable. Eloise cursed at herself at the way butterflies erupted in her stomach at his touch, the smooth skin of his palm against hers being enough to make her feel like she was walking on sunshine. It was almost sickening how much she had grown to love the feeling of his skin on hers in more ways than one.

“What time’s your shift tomorrow?” Eloise spoke softly as they walked, eyes glancing down at their hands swinging gently between their bodies meanwhile their feet walked at different times, her long legs surprisingly unable to keep up with his timely long strides. For a taller girl, she could never walk quickly, not with Calum anyway.

“I start at eight tomorrow,” He responded, eyes catching the small family picnic that was going on just to their right, the corners of his mouth turning up at the thought of that possibility in his future. He had always been a family man, it only setting him up to be ready to eventually have one of his own with someone he loved, someone he could settle down and have a life with. “So, I was thinking, I’d give you a lift home tomorrow morning before I go to work if you need to grab some clean clothes and stuff, and then I could pick you up once I’m finished, take you back to my place and we could do something,”

Eloise’s eyes followed in the direction of where he had turned his head briefly, eyes falling on the young couple who sat with a child, he looked to be around four, as they laughed and smiled together. The open picnic basket was self-explanatory to Eloise, causing a cold shiver to run up her spine at the inkling of a memory she didn’t even know existed. She pulled her attention back up to Calum, hoping he didn’t notice her subtle shudder. “I was thinking I might stay at my place tonight for a change, my neighbours are gonna start being suspicious if they don’t hear me stumbling up my stairs at the crack of dawn soon,” She chuckled, squeezing his hand reassuringly, “It also means Duke can actually get some space in the bed for first time in a while, but I’ll come and see you tomorrow after your shift,”

“Duke’s gonna be upset that you’re leaving him in the house alone,” Calum pointed out, “I think he’s gotten quite fond of you sticking around during the day while I’m workin’, means he’s not on his own all day.” Eloise knew what he was doing; trying to subtly use Duke as a way of persuading – guilt tripping – her into staying at his place for another night. But Eloise knew she had to play this right, she had to go home at some point, she would have to submit herself to the clutches of the Gypsy Kings once again soon enough.

“And you can tell him that I’m very sorry but I have to,” She pouted her lips, leaning into Calum a little as they walked, “Or to make it up to him, I’ll make sure I bring a treat with me when I come back.”

“So, you’re going to bribe my dog?” He furrowed his brows down at her, glaring playfully at the brunette. Eloise puffed her cheeks briefly, eyes shifting out of Calum’s gaze as she focused on the floor for a second.

“Well, it’s the only way I can make sure that he’ll forgive me when I come back,”

“And what about me?” Calum tugged on her hand and pulled her to a stop, moving them out of the way on the path so they weren’t in anyone’s way. His eyebrows raised questioningly, a knowing smirk on his face as his spare hand found her waist, slipping beneath her jacket so he could feel the fabric of her oversized t-shirt beneath his fingers, voice barely above a gravelled whisper when he spoke, “How’re you gonna make sure that I forgive you for leaving me?”

“I’m sure a grown man like yourself can work out a few ways I can ask for your forgiveness,” She winked, giggling softly at the expression that sank onto Calum’s face, his head falling onto her shoulder as he let out a barely audible groan, although it was loud and clear in Eloise’s ears.

“I swear for the love of god,” Calum groaned out, grip tightening around Eloise’s waist as the hand that held hers awkwardly bent as he attempted to raise it. Eloise’s giggle echoed in his ears, the sound highlighting her awareness of how her words had affected him in public yet again. He was weak when it came to that girl, and it was as if she knew exactly how to play to his weakness, using it against him in a poorly timed place. “You’re cruel, and the fact that you’re not even coming back to my place tonight only proves my point,”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to amuse yourself without me,” She whispered, leaning her head so it rested against his on her shoulder, a soft smile creasing her lips as she stood like that for a minute. She wished she could pause time right there and take a picture from someone else’s point of view, to see them together. She tilted her head slightly, pressing a feather like kiss to the side of his head before she softly spoke, “Now c’mon, I’ll buy you a- Scott?”

Calum’s head shot up at her words, forehead creased as his brows furrowed, “You’ll buy me a Scott?”

Eloise didn’t even register his response, eyes looking over in the distance to where a scattering of people walked through the park. Her dark eyes spotted the familiar man in the distance, able to pick out his soft curls from anywhere as well as his particular walk.

“Wait here,” She told Calum, softly releasing his hand from hers and before she could even hear him respond she was running down the path towards the familiar body who had his back to her.

Calum stood there in place, watching as Eloise’s figure shrunk as she ran further into the distance, arms crossing against his chest as he moved along the path a little bit and found a tree to lean against. He pulled out his phone, trying to occupy himself as he waited for Eloise to come back, eyes shifting every few seconds between the screen in his hand to the pretty brunette as she attempted to catch up to her friend. He couldn’t help but feel protective, wanting to make sure she was alright at all times.

Eloise felt her chest get heavy as she ran down the path, a few eyes watching her as she ran past numerous runners; their eyes obviously judging her choice of attire for what they most likely assumed to be an afternoon run. Her eyes closed in on the familiar golden locks of her best friend, his leather jacket shining against the sun.

She reached her hand out as she caught up with him, panting lightly as she called out, “Oi Erikson, do I not even get a hello anymore?” Scott’s expression seemed almost dumbfounded when he turned around, his face relaxing when he registered her voice and saw the one and only Eloise stood behind him, hands resting on the caps of her knees as she caught her breath, bending slightly as she felt her heart hammer faintly against her chest before she could bring herself to stand upright, breath returning to normal after a few seconds passed.

“You’re seriously out of shape,” Scott scoffed, laughing at his best friend’s poor attempt at hiding her heavy breaths as she stood up. Eloise reached out and shoved his shoulder lightly, sending him a warning glare as she straightened up, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets, and stood comfortably.

“Shut up, I’m in better shape than most of that lot,” She laughed, jutting her chin out in the direction of the park, directing her comment towards the others within the gang. Both of them knew which members she was silently talking about, a joint laugh escaping them both at the inside knowledge. “What’re you doing here anyway, last time I checked Central Park is a bit far out of Brooklyn, especially for the likes of you, Scott?”

Scott chuckled at her comment, almost nervously, as he raised his shoulders in a half-shrug, “Suppose I could say the same for you, you’re a bit far out of Brooklyn yourself,” Eloise couldn’t help but notice how his eyes were shifting, as if he were searching for someone or keeping an eye out. He seemed antsy, not an unusual occurrence when it came to Scott being this far out Brooklyn. “How’ve you been anyway? How’re things comin’ along with your cop friend?”

Eloise let out a quiet sigh, shifting her weight to her other foot as she answered, “I should be asking you how you are, you’ve hardly answered your phone and you seem to be ignoring my texts. Am I too lame to talk to now?” She scoffs jokingly at him, chewing the inside of her cheek as she continues, “I’m working on him, I’ve got some information that’ll be useful for Jay to know. I’ve also set up a few decoy details for him to take back to his precinct, so give me a few more days and we’ll be ready to go,”

Scott nods, taking in the words that Eloise had practically spoon fed him. She prayed he couldn’t see through it, praying that for a man she believed to know her so well, that he couldn’t see right through the lies she had just fed to him. She knew he would take her words back to Jay, informing him of the ‘work’ she had done. Scott’s eyes travelled behind Eloise, she had noticed he had done that a few times already, wondering what he was looking at.

“Take it, that’s him?” He jutted out his chin in the direction of the park behind her, eyes finding the dark ones of Calum who kept his gaze firmly planted on Eloise’s back, “Either that’s your copper or some big creepy dude has been staring at your ass for the past five minutes, and my money is the former.”

Eloise rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she glanced behind her, brown eyes finding Calum’s. She smiled softly at him, offering him a small wave as a silent act of reassurance that she was alright. She noted how his shoulders seemed to relax a little at her action, the muscles sinking as his eyes never left her, “Yeah, that’s Calum.”

“So, you gonna let me meet the guy who you’ve been spending all of your time with or are you going to keep me in suspense?” Scott raised an eyebrow, lips parting briefly as he glanced in Calum’s direction. Eloise thanked the sun for her helping her hide her flushed cheeks, making her cheeks and nose almost rosy at the thought of Calum and Scott meeting, the thought making her feel like someone had just dropped a lead weight in her stomach. Eloise couldn’t help but feel as though she was in a catch 22; stuck between her best friend who believed she was acting one way, and Calum who knew her to be acting in the opposite.

But that didn’t stop her from nodding, feeling Scott’s arm slip around her shoulders as they began to make their way to where Calum stood. “Be nice,” Eloise warned through gritted teeth as they closed in on the tree that Calum stood under. The air felt as though it thickened with the closer that they got, Eloise’s chest tightening as she tried to fight the feeling of anxiety that she could feel bubbling up inside of her.

Calum straightened up, sliding his phone back into the pocket of his jeans and walked over and met them halfway, a friendly smile on his face as he met Eloise’s uneasy eyes, noting how uncomfortable she must have been at the thought of Calum meeting her brother by association.

Eloise forced the discomfort in her stomach down, trying to ignore it as she stood with Scott by her side, arm still around her shoulders as he looked towards Calum, a rather unimpressed look on his face. She let out a small cough, clearing her throat, as she introduced them, “Scott, this is Calum, Calum, this is my best friend Scott,” She felt as though she wanted the world to swallow her whole as she felt Scott’s grip tighten ever so slightly around her, a natural tension he had around those he didn’t know and didn’t trust.

“It’s nice to meet you, mate,” Calum sent him a gentle singular nod of his head, a warm smile on his face as he reached out his hand for Scott to shake, “El’s told me a lot about you, you sound like a very important man.”

Eloise sent him a glance, silently thanking him for trying to play it cool, for being nice towards Scott even though the reaction he was receiving from the blond was anything but. Her eyes fell to Scott, sending a subtle kick to the back of his ankle as if to silently say, ‘Just shake his hand.’

Scott sighed as he reached out his hand, grasping Calum’s in his grip as they shook, a dry laugh coming from his throat as he tried not to roll his eyes. “That’s quite a strong grip you’ve got there,” Eloise couldn’t help it as she rolled her eyes at Scott’s remark, silently praying he would drop the act and just be like the Scott she knew, that he would act like her best friend.

“Comes with the territory.” The response was quick to come from Calum, it being instant much like the forced smile on his lips. Eloise knew he would be silently making his job known to Scott, even though he wasn’t trying to rupture Scott, she couldn’t help but want to move things along, trying to cut the interaction as short as possible to spare any unnecessary tension.

It’s not like there wasn’t plenty of it already.

“I was gonna suggest to Calum that we go and grab a hot dog if you wanted to join us?” Eloise offered, head nodding towards the exit of the park, the memory of the brightly coloured food cart outside the gates making her mouth water at the thought. “It’ll be my treat.”

Scott shook his head practically as soon as Eloise let the words slip from her mouth, hand coming up and shaking alongside his head, “I can’t stay long, I’ve got somewhere to be. I just wanted to come by and say hi,”

The awkward silence is almost painful. Cursing herself, Eloise wished she never agreed to letting Scott come over. She wished she had just said something along of the lines of how she’d rather keep them separate to save questions but of course she didn’t think this through. Nice one, Eloise.

She was about to open her mouth to speak, her brain scrambling as it attempted to create a sentence for her to use in order to break the silence before Calum beat her to it.

“So, how long have you known Eloise?” Calum asked, adjusting his stance as an attempt to be perceived as more friendly, trying to cut the clear tension that clouded them, hand resting over the outline of his phone in his pocket.

Eloise didn’t need to see the shift in Scott’s eyes as they fell to her, she could feel the burn in the side of her head along with the way his arm moved, it dropping from around her and returning back to his side, hand sliding back into its home inside his pocket. Eloise wanted to curse herself, knowing she should’ve warned Calum about one thing, but of course she didn’t think. She could only hope this helped her out, that Scott took it as a sign that things were working, that she was invested in the way she needed them to believe, that she was capturing Calum’s attention like they had intended. She just hoped that it wasn’t seen for what it really was.

She needed to slow down; she knew that she was getting too far ahead of herself. Scott was smart, but he wasn’t that smart.

“Too long,” Her voice muttered, a gentle smirk playing her lips as she glanced at Scott, playfully nudging him with her hip to try and go along with the friendly interaction.

“Uh yeah, we’ve been best mates since we were kids. The both of us went through some rough stuff growing up and we’ve stuck together ever since,” Scott nodded, throwing a casual shrug of shoulders into the mix with his response, “I just can’t seem to shake her off.”

“Fuck off,” Eloise laughed, raising a knowing brow, “You’d be lost with me or dead even. I have saved your life more times than you can count.”

It was true. There was more truth in that statement than what Scott wanted to admit. Eloise had helped him out a lot throughout their time together; throughout school, starting off in the gang, and just about every other occasion where things didn’t go to plan for the blond boy.

Eloise had been the one to help him talk his way out of situations he found himself in when he thought he was clever. She had also been the one to cover for him when he would get himself into messes and need a friend to pull him out. Eloise had always been there for him over the years and he couldn’t deny that.

Scott shot her a warning glance before letting a small laugh laced with nostalgia leave him, unable to hide the truth in the statement, “I was a bit of a klutz back in the day, and this one here helped me out a lot. I guess you could say I never quite understood what public embarrassment truly meant,”

“A klutz with a big mouth and shocking taste in women,” Eloise couldn’t stop the mutter before it was too late, eyes watching as Scott scoffed at her and he amusingly jabbed her with his elbow.

“On that note, I’m gonna take my leave,” Scott excused himself, taking a step back as he attempted to extract himself from the gathering rather quickly, “It was nice to meet you, Calum. Suppose I might see you ‘round if she keeps you for longer than usual,” A dry laugh escaped him as he made the remark, eyes catching Eloise’s glaring ones.

Eloise shook her head, the nod barely noticeable as she clenched her jaw and grit her teeth, a warning glare being shot at Scott, “I was gonna ask if you wanted to come by my place tonight and we could hang out, but just for that you can fuck off,” She sighed, raising her hand as she threw a middle finger in his direction.

Scott hummed, knowing she would still want him to come by her apartment. She never didn’t want him to come over when she had offered. “I’ve got plans tonight, some business I need to take care of for work. How about tomorrow night instead? I’ll call you when I’m on my way,”

Eloise sent Scott a nod, “Sure, see you tomorrow then,”

Eventually they bid Scott a goodbye, watching as his silhouette disappeared into the distance, vanishing out of the park as it merged into the crowds that were usually thought of when it came to New York. Eloise released a relieved sigh, the departure of her best friend making her feel as though she could breathe again, feeling the tension deplete with the great distance between them that grew as he was out of sight.

She turned in place, catching Calum’s eyes watching as she seemed to relax. God, she felt horrible for making him suffer through that. Scott wasn’t usually so… not Scott. She swore he was a nice guy but this just highlighted the arrogance that she tried to ignore every day, almost if she forced herself to be blinded to it, not wanting to believe he had it in him to act like that.

“I’m really sorry about him, he’s not usually like that,” Eloise apologised, figuring she owed Calum some form of an explanation as to why she shot off earlier without a second thought, “Scott’s been giving me the silent treatment for the past few days and I didn’t know why; he was avoiding my calls and ignoring my texts and it was bugging me because we used to never go a single day without talking to one another,” She was rambling now, “So when I saw him, I guessed it was a perfect opportunity to ask him about it and then he spotted you staring, asked if he could come and say hi, then he- “

“Eloise, it’s alright,” Calum cut her off with a laugh, stopping her in the middle of a ramble that not even she knew how long it would continue for, his hands placing themselves on her shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly, “He’s your friend, you’re allowed to go and speak to him,”

“Something’s not right with him though,” She sighed, feeling rather defeated, “He’s not himself and I can’t tell what it is. It’s almost like he’s changing, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“You can’t do anything,” Calum told her, slipping a comforting arm around her shoulder as they turned and began to make their way through the park, heading towards the exit, walking the opposite direction to where Scott had departed, “It’s probably whatever Jay’s planning just getting to his head. It’s a big scheme and a lot is on the line for them,”

“Thanks for reminding me,” She rolled her eyes, sighing heavily as they walked.

The colours of the food cart soon came into sight, Eloise’s stomach practically growling at the thought of some food. The two of them made their way over to the queue, standing in line and began to wait.

“Scott’ll be meeting with some the guys tonight,” She spoke out, “That’s what he meant by ‘work’, so he’ll be filling them in on our little run-in today,”

“And that’s a good thing, right?” Calum sent a questioning look.

“I think so, it’ll make them think that their plan is working,” She nodded, silently trying to convince herself of her uncertain response, “The fact that you called me Eloise will go a long way in convincing them, it’ll make them see that I’ve ‘wormed’ my way in,” She raised her fingers to use as quotation marks at the word wormed.

The confusion is Calum’s face couldn’t be missed, the crease in his forehead and furrow of his brows only solidifying the questioning look he continued to give her, “How is me calling you by your name helping?”

Eloise sighed, knowing she would need to explain. She cleared her throat as she looked ahead of the line, making a note of the few people in front of them that were still waiting to be served.

“Back when I lost my dad, it was quite hard to hear my name. People had been calling me ‘El’ for a while since I was a kid, but my parents almost always called me Eloise, and when I didn’t have them around anymore, my name just reminded me of them and how much I was hurting,” She explained, sighing as she threw a hand in her pocket, feeling Calum’s arm drop from her shoulder as it found her free one, his fingers lightly grasping hers as an attempt to comfort her, “So I started telling people to just call me ‘El’ so it felt like I wasn’t me, so I could pretend like it didn’t happen,”

Calum just nodded, brushing her knuckles with his thumb as he listened. Every time she mentioned her parents, he couldn’t stop his heart from hurting, almost as if he was feeling her own pain when she spoke of them.

“But certain people still call me by my full name, but it became sort of public knowledge with those I associated myself with that only certain people got to call me Eloise; like Scott, Han, my friends: Paige, Roman, and the rest of that group. And now you,” She smiled up at him, squeezing his hand as they took a step forward in the queue, “So, since Scott heard you use my full name, it’s gonna intentionally take this whole thing a lot further, almost securing their perception of what it is that they think I’m doing,”

The mention of Paige and Roman reminded Eloise that she still needed to introduce Calum to them, thinking of the endless stream of text messages she had received from Paige with requests of organising a double date ever since she found out about Eloise and Calum’s mutual agreement of being ‘secretly exclusive’.

She had tried to fight with the idea of Calum meeting her friends, trying to convince herself that it was a bad idea as it just made what they had feel even more real; like it was going last and they were going to be going places after the deal was done. Eloise wasn’t sure if she could bring herself to ignore the harsh reality and let herself fall into the self-made trap of pretending that she lived in a world where she and Calum would walk away from this with no repercussions, where they would be able to live as a normal couple.

Calum was about to speak, a voice laced with a thick accent stopping him as it called out, “Next! ‘iya sweetheart, what can I get ya?”

Eloise’s eyes turned to meet the rather large man in front of them, face a little red and shining an almighty mole in the right side of his chin. He smelled like hot dogs; Eloise noted. Although she wasn’t sure if it were him or the fact that they were at a hot dog stand, but she could be sure that the smell was rather overpowering.

They gave him their orders, standing next to one another as they waited for him to prepare the carb loaded items. Calum’s hand never dropped hers, his fingers finding the spaces between hers before slipping into them, her hand fitting in his like a glove. He felt the need to always be touching her, feeling an uneasy sensation settle in his gut if he was around her and didn’t have his skin touching hers in some way. It wasn’t like Eloise minded; she embraced any physical connection she could get with Calum when she could, silently reminding herself that it most likely wasn’t going to last forever.

Hotdogs in hand, they made their way down the streets of New York, the steam from the slabs of meat in their breaded buns travelling up into the air as they walked together.

“So, you don’t mind that I call you Eloise?” Calum’s question could only just be heard over the sound of a yellow taxi honking it’s horn next to where they waited to cross the street, “I can call you El if that- “

Eloise slapped his shoulder gently, holding her finger up as she silently asked him to wait while she chewed the bite of her hotdog she had just taken. Once swallowed, she smiled at him, wiping the slaver of grease she swore she felt just below her lip with edge of her palm, before she said, “I actually prefer it when you call me Eloise, it sounds better coming from you unlike some people.”

“Good,” Calum speaks through a mouthful of hotdog, hand coming up to cover the sight of half-chewed food, “I like saying your name; it’s pretty, much like the girl it belongs to.”

Eloise couldn’t stop herself from faking a gag, laughing at Calum as she rolled her eyes, amused, “Do you have an off switch, or do you just permanently ruin moments with cheesy lines?”

Calum playfully nudged her as they turned a corner, careful not to knock her into anyone as he leaned over and pressed a quick chaste kiss to her cheek once he had freed his mouth of the remnants of his snack, “Only speaking the truth, doll,”

“Security!” Eloise jokingly calls out, “Can someone please come and remove Mr Smooth from my presence?” She’s unable to stop her laugh as Calum’s hand reaches out, attempting to nip at her sides, “Get off!” She squealed, trying to push his hand away, quickly apologising to the bystander who she accidently bumped into in her attempt to move out Calum’s reach.

Let’s just say that Calum got a friendly smack on the back of the head for that one.

They eventually discovered a bin to discard of their wrappers, tossing them away before they continued their walk back to where Calum had parked his car just a few blocks south of Central Park. The sun continued to shine down on New York, a gentle cooling breeze warranting through the city, adding a refreshing chill to contrast against the heat. They walked down the streets side by side, Calum’s arm draped over her shoulders, meanwhile Eloise’s wound its way around his waist, hips lightly brushing against one another, her small fingers gently gripping onto the fabric of his hoodie as an attempt to keep close to him, head resting on his shoulder as they walked through the city.

“You want me to drop you off at your place?” Calum asked, arm around her shoulders, fingers lightly brushing against the cool material of her jacket, “Or can I convince you to stay at my place for another night?”

Eloise shook her head, her stomach vibrating with her silent closed-mouthed laugh, “I need to go back to my place like I told you. I need time to think about what I’m gonna say to Scott tomorrow,”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to talk to him about some stuff; nothing about the plan or the shipment, nothing to do with the gang whatsoever,” She sighed as they stopped in front of Calum’s car, her arm dropping from around his waist as her back rested against the hood of the black vehicle, Calum’s arm being removed her shoulder as he moved to stand in front of her, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and taking her hand in his for what felt like the hundredth time that day, “I want to talk to him as friends, as the best friends that we’re supposed to be. I’m worried about him because he used to talk to me about everything and I did the same with him when my life fell apart, but now it feels like we’re more strangers than best friends,”

Calum sent her a reassuring smile, squeezing her hand gently as he reached into his pocket to find his car keys, sending her an assured, “I’m sure he’ll be okay, Eloise.”

“He’s going to hate me when this is over.” Eloise couldn’t stop the tears brimming in her eyes, her throat quivering at the thought of how this was going to affect Scott; the guilt of it seeming as though it would eat her alive.

Calum shook his head, more to himself than to her, raising his hands to her face, cupping her cheeks, his thumbs gently gliding across the apples of her sweet skin as he said, “Let him. Eloise, if he’s really your best friend then he’ll realise why you’ve done this and he’ll forgive you,”

“And what if he never does?” She asked painfully, her voice sounding almost as defeated as she felt.

“Then he clearly isn’t the kind of man you want to believe he is,” Calum spoke truthfully, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, holding his lips there for a few seconds before he took a small step back, opening the car for them to get in, “C’mon, we’ll get ice cream on our way back to your place, my treat,”

“Thank you, Calum,” She smiled, wiping away the packed tears before they had a chance to fall, taking in a deep shaky breath as she attempted to pull herself together, “For everything,”

“Anything for you, Eloise,” He whispered, afraid that if he spoke any louder she would float away with the light breeze, gently reaching down and reconnecting their hands, lifting hers to his lips as he placed a soft kiss to her knuckles, “Absolutely anything.”

*****

11 Days Left

Eloise felt as though she was suffocating, the air around her thick with tension as she watched Scott from the corner of her eye. He had arrived just less than an hour ago, walking in with a pizza in his hand, claiming to be splashing the cash as an early celebration for her hard work.

Every time she looked at Scott, she was reminded of the lies she was living, the lies she was trapping him with, and the guilt was eating her alive, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. As much as her natural instinct would be to warn him of an upcoming ambush, she knew this time it had gone too far, and she couldn’t save him like she so desperately wanted to.

“I had a dream last night,” Eloise spoke quietly, almost sounding as if she was talking to herself, head leaning back as her eyes met with the ceiling briefly, “We were kids again, we must have been six or seven, and we were sitting in a field, just the two of us,” The corners of her mouth upturned, her teeth gently nipping on the inside of her lip, her voice continuing, “I was freaking out, panicking about what we were doing and you kept telling me to calm down, assuring me that we would be alright, you said that you’d make sure they would take care of us,”

Scott’s eyes caught Eloise’s as she looked in his direction, her back resting against the armrest of the couch, “Who were ‘they’?” Scott queried; eyebrows furrowed in question.

“I’ve got no idea,” She said with a breathy chuckle, shaking her head lightly as she reached forward to close over the empty pizza box that lay spread out on the coffee table, the cold stench of tomato and cheese making Eloise feel slightly queasy, before she added, “A monster? Or maybe someone we knew?”

“There’s plenty of monsters around this city,” Scott’s voice almost went unheard, the comment barely audible over the low volume of the TV. But fortunately for Eloise, she heard it loud and clear.

Scott’s words held a lot of truth in them; more truth than most would like to admit, the truth that fell deaf at many people’s ears. They had always been told as kids that monsters weren’t real, that they were figments of their own imaginations, a simple phase they would grow out of. But Eloise never grew out of it, her eyes finding them everywhere she turned. And now, to her own terror, she waited for her best friend to take that final form.

“Can I ask you something?” Eloise rolled her lips into her mouth, taking Scott’s hum as a response, taking a small breath before she continued, hoping he wouldn’t mind her bringing up past events, “Have you spoken to Seth recently? It’s just that you’ve been quiet the past few days, and I know what yesterday was, and I also know he usually crawls out of his hole around this time of year, so I just wanted to- “

“He’s not reached out to me if that’s what you’re wondering,” Scott pursed his lips, shaking his head slowly as he stared straight ahead at the scene playing on the TV screen. It wasn’t until earlier that day that Eloise had pieced together why Scott had been so distant lately, cursing herself for nearly forgetting what had happened all those years ago.

How could she nearly forget? She had a reminder of what happened on that day nearly four years ago permanently etched on her leg; the scar on her thigh never having properly healed, the textured skin serving as a reminder to not only her, but to Scott about what happened that day. And it was all down to a stupid idea made by him and someone he thought to be his friend.

They were 17; young, juvenile, and eager.

They all wanted to be recognised as key members of the Gypsy Kings; fed up and tired of being treated like the kids they didn’t believe themselves to be. They wanted to establish to the older men of the gang that they were ready to take their places in their society.

Eloise, Scott, Ben, Seth, and Gabriel had all piled themselves in Seth’s car one night, driving into the southside of Brooklyn, heading for Wiley’s mattress factory after hearing rumours of illegal liquor being stored in the basement. Scott and Seth had been talking to snitches across the city, pretending to be working for the higher members of the gang to retrieve information on any activity they could attempt to ransack. And boy, when they heard about the Moonshine, it was like they had just woken up on Christmas Day.

They had planned to sneak into the factory, having worked out their entry route as well as their exact strategy: fill a few bags with some bottles of the Moonshine, sell it off to clients that Ben had sniffed out with Eloise’s help, and prove themselves to those who doubted them.

But they had one flaw in their plan; they didn’t take into consideration that there would be any security. Their inexperienced minds had assumed that the factory would be empty, as if they could walk straight in and straight out with bags full of the strong liquor without any struggle. As genius as they thought their plan was, it was only proven to be the complete opposite from the minute they got inside that factory.

Their venture into the factory had gone smoothly, remaining undetected as they snuck into the basement, discovering the underground distillery along with the crates packed with bottles and jars of the spirit. They thought had hit the jackpot, obnoxiously throwing high-fives around as they crammed as much Moonshine into their bags as they could fit and still be able to carry.

Seth was smugger than any of them, claiming that he knew they’d win big with his idea to break into the factory, although they all knew it was him and Scott combined who discovered the rumours of the illegal distillery. Seth was the reason why it all went wrong, getting too ahead of himself and getting too excited, his voice was too loud in the quiet building, and no matter how many times they all told him to be quiet, he didn’t listen.

They had managed to sneak back up into the main foyer of the factory, spotting the door they had entered through, the heavy panel still open ajar so the glint of orange from the streetlamp outside could be seen in the distance. Ben had sent everyone out in front of him, his natural polite nature being what got him killed.

No – them being there is what got Ben killed.

They were nearly out of the factory, Scott’s hands just centimetres from the door before a shout broke their attention, eyes darting across the room to see a tall, thin, wrinkly man pacing towards them, gun in hand with their young bodies as targets. Ben had pushed Eloise forward, telling them to run, but it was too late for him.

Scott thrust the door open and practically threw himself out of it, feet moving out of the doorway as Seth followed hot on his tail, but Eloise had remained frozen in place as she watched Ben’s body fall to the ground as the sound of a gunshot echoed within the factory. Her eyes burned into the hole that branded itself into his back, the dark crimson colour painting his back almost unnoticeable due to the lack of light in the room.

Eloise could still make out Wiley’s eyes in the darkness, she swore she could see red in his irises as nothing, but rage and pure animalistic tendencies coursed through them. Scott had shouted for Eloise to run but she couldn’t hear him, the murderous gunshot echoing in her ears as her eyes became scarred with the sight of the body of the young boy who she had grown fond of.

She hadn’t realised she was moving until Scott grabbed her hand, almost ripping her arm out of the socket as he hauled her out of the building, a second gunshot being heard before a piercing yell from Eloise as her hand reached down for her leg as she tried to run. The pain of the piercing bullet in her thigh was nothing like she had ever felt before, it momentarily distracting her from the death she had just witnessed.

Scott had ended up carrying her back to Seth’s car, her mind not even registering Gabriel who had taken Scott’s place in the front seat as Seth started the car and raced back to their hideout, breaking every red light and stop sign that he came across in the early hours of the morning.

“What about Ben?” Her voice was quiet, throat dry as she blinked rapidly, trying to keep her eyes open although the urge to sleep was becoming too strong.

Scott had removed his belt from his jeans, tying it around her leg as an attempt to the try and stop the bleeding, using his hoodie as a gauze to keep pressure on the world, panicked and with a shake of his head, he said, “It’s too late, El. He’s gone,”

The last thing she remembered before she passed out was the heartache in Scott’s voice; at his words in regard to Ben but also to Eloise as he tried to call out to her, telling her to keep her eyes open and stay awake for him.

She woke up a while later, unsure of how long she had been out for, the tapestry pinned the ceiling above her head capturing her attention when she first opened her eyes, silently telling her who’s home she was in. Of course, she had been brought there.

“She’s awake,” A voice called out; older, yet familiar.

Brown eyes looked to her right, to which she found Han stood by her side, his eyes looking towards the doorway of the bedroom she was laying in. Faint footsteps got louder before two familiar bodies were stood in the doorway; faces etched with guilt and grief as they prepared themselves for the verbal abuse they would receive because of their actions, as if they hadn’t suffered enough.

“I agreed I wouldn’t ask what happened until she was awake,” Han’s voice spoke, arms crossing against his chest as he stood firmly, shoulders tense as he frowned at the two boys, “So, now you better start talkin’,”

Eloise’s eyes met with Scott’s golden ones, a gentle smile spreading across her face at the sight of her best friend, unable to ignore the way her heart hurt at the emotional turmoil he appeared to be in. She remembered almost instantly what had happened, the memories of the factory unfolding in her mind like a movie scene; the sight of Ben’s body collapsing and the gunshot prominent in her vision. She noted of Gabriel seemed to share a similar expression, except he looked to be more uncomfortable rather than upset. It’s not like it was his idea to go and hit that factory, Seth had pressured him into it. Speaking of Seth, where was he?

Gabriel looked as if he was about to speak, about to tell Han what had happened before Scott cut in, “It was all my idea; I thought it would be really cool if we were to try and prove ourselves to you guys by cashing in. I wanted to prove that we weren’t just kids and that we were ready for the big stuff like you guys were at our age,” Scott looked to be embarrassed, almost irritated actually as he claimed the blame for why they were in their current position, “So, we snuck into Wiley’s, tried to steal a couple of bottles of the Moonshine I heard he had been cooking up in his basement. I figured we could sell it on and bring the profits to the hideout… But all I managed to do was get two of my friends shot,”

Han’s sigh was nothing but full of disappointment, his exhale was heavy as he rubbed a hand over his face and looked at Scott, who’s eyes were planted firmly on his feet, unable to keep eye contact with anyone within the room.

It wasn’t the first time Han had been woken up at four in the morning, being asked if he can help someone who was injured. He just never expected for the victim of his next bullet extraction to be the girl who he had promised her dad he would look out for if anything were to happen.

Han’s throat worked, slowly swallowing a frustrated lump as he shook his head, pointing to Scott with an accusing finger, “Just be thankful it was only one life you lost last night. The bullet was only in her leg, and thankfully for your own sake, it didn’t hit anything critical, so she’s gonna be fine as long as it doesn’t get infected,” Han practically cursed himself at the thought of this being any worse than what it was, unsure of what he would do if it had been a wound to her chest or worse, “It’s just gonna take her a few days to be up and walking again, it’s gonna be a bitch of a recovery to get through,”

“I’ll stay with her until she’s ready to move,” Scott stepped forward, nodding his head at Han.

“She’ll be staying here until then, I’ll be keeping an eye on her and making sure it stays clean,” Han packed away the bloody rags that were on the floor, tossing them into his slow burner that sat in the corner of his living room, his eyes watching the sight of the rags beginning to catch the flames as they burned vigorously.

“That’s fine, but like I said, I’m staying with her. It’s my fault this happened, so it’s my responsibility.”

“You never left my side the entire time I was stuck at Han’s place,” She scoffed with a smile at the memory, “It doesn’t surprise me that Han stopped calling in sick for us with the school,”

And it was true, Scott never once went home the entire time that Eloise’s leg was healing. He practically lived at Han’s with her during that time. He felt guilty for what had happened, and he nominated himself to take full responsibility for the factory incident since Seth ran off the minute that he dropped them outside Han’s front door, driving off down the road to never been seen again.

They still didn’t know where he had gone or if he was even alive. Seth had chosen to run away from the gang after Ben died, walking away from any sole responsibility for the death of a teenager and the injury that left Eloise physically scarred. Scott had taken the blame for what happened because at the time he still felt like Seth was his friend, and he didn’t realise that when Seth drove away that night it would be the last time they saw or spoke to each other.

Eventually the truth had come out about how the plan to raid Wiley’s was a joint effort, but it didn’t make things any easier for Scott to cope with.

They never got a chance to bury Ben’s body, nor did his own parents have a chance to say their goodbyes. They received the news of their son’s death via the Gypsy Kings, something that Scott will never be able to erase; never forgetting the sight of his mother breaking down as she heard the news that her son wouldn’t be coming home.

Scott had decided from that day on to pay homage to Ben, wanting to show that he was being remembered by those who cared about him. So, every year on the day of Ben’s death, Scott would travel to Manhattan, to Ben’s parents’ house where he would lay a single red rose on their doorstep and walk away, paying a silent tribute to the boy who had a secret love for flowers and everything nature related; a small secret that only those close to him knew.

It was the death of Ben that sparked Scott’s ignorance when it came to people’s feelings, why he never let himself get attached to anyone new. After he experienced the pain of when Ben left him, only being accompanied by the abandonment his parents left him with – though they thought they were protecting him – once his mother got caught up in her own scandals, Scott decided to distance himself from people, allowing himself to use them for his piece of fun and nothing more.

Throughout everything, Scott and Eloise only ever had each other for long enough. They both had no real family to take care of them; both having left them although in different circumstances. It was from day Eloise had started walking again, leg slowly healing, that they decided they were in it together for the long haul. They had sworn to be brother and sister to each other until they died, always being there for one another when needed.

The memories of how they were before hurt Eloise to think about; looking back and seeing how quickly he was willing to sell himself out to protect someone who he thought was a friend, and how determined he was to sleep by her side while her leg healed, never hesitating or complaining when she woke up in the middle of the night and needed help getting to the bathroom or if she needed something as small as a drink of water.

But when she looked at Scott as she sat opposite him, his floppy curls pointed in all directions, face solemn as he stared out of the window, dark bags beneath his eyes, she couldn’t help but feel as though that something had changed. As much as she did genuinely enjoy his company; she could see their connection had a crack in it. Typical nights in where they would be clutching their stomachs in laughter or racing through the apartment as they play-fought like they were kids again were nothing but a distant memory being replaced with the latest reality of less smiles between them and added tension as Scott’s focus seemed to be elsewhere, as if he had better things to do other than spend time with the girl who had he practically grown up with.

The promise they made to each other is one she’d never be able to forget, no matter how hard she tried. It was a stupid pinkie promise they made on that day that had unintentionally become the glue between them and sadly she felt as though it was drying out and they were breaking off. It pained her to know what was silently happening between them, knowing it would only become clearer when she broke that promise, betraying one of the most important men in her life – or at least that’s what he used to be. It was painful, immensely, but she knew she had to follow through with it. It was for the sake of the city they called home, as well as his own good, and like Calum said, if he were truly her best friend then he would come to forgive her, surely not?

It was a risk she had to take. She had to break everything she had grown to know, unable to stand aside and watch as those around her destroyed themselves as well as innocent people.

“Brother and sister until we die. Bullets, friends, and relationships will never separate us. We’ll always have each other, we’ll always fight for each other, we’ll always love each other no matter what.”

---

Tag List: @steviemae @elsysoza @treatallwithkindness @oopsiedoopsie23

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jebentnietalleen · 6 years ago

Text

By now most people have read and seen a lot about the convention already, but since I said I would write about it (and because I like to be able to look back on my own experiences later), I'll ramble on for a bit...

First and foremost, it was a pleasure to meet and see other Tumblr users and fans of skam in general, I loved being in a room with so many like minded people 💖🙏🥰 . I've never been to a convention before so it was truly special. I wanna give a special mention to

@chelouelou

, meeting her was one of my personal highlights and I am so glad we hit it off just as well as we did online. She is the sweetest person and a ray of sunshine, and we had multiple laughing fits for no good reason. All lovely things imo 🧡😍🙌✨

Some random facts:

I almost drew a braincell at La Petite Ceinture so I could write 'the skam france galaxy braincell' but I chickened out last moment because it felt like sacrilege

Every time we saw one of those step scooters we felt triggered

Every time we saw someone carrying a baguette we laughed

Elise brought everybody clown noses

La Petite Ceinture is absolutely calming and just a great experience to visit

About the convention:

We arrived around 9:00, and because we already got our passes the night before (the organization for that was also shitty, we arrived at 17:30, which was suppose to be the time that they would open up for the passes, and left at 21:00. They were not prepared, everything arrived in boxes through out the night, we had to wait a long long time) we didn't have to wait in line and sat on the floor for a bit while we waited for everything to start. We sat next to a large glass window, and suddenly we heard some fans shrieking in excitement. We looked up and saw Maxence walk past us, and let me tell you, that alone was quite an experience. Mannequin elite, indeed. There is just something so alluring about him, it's even more apparent in real life. We were all very nervous and also excited about the whole day, and this hyped us up even more ngl. We saw more cast members come in, Coline, Paul, Robin, Leo, and probably more that I can't remember. We got called into the big room where the panels were held, at around 10:00.

After a short speech by the host, and a video introduction of all the casts (which was lovely and I might post later, I don't know if anybody posted it yet? I haven't seen it) the cast of skam france came on stage. The crowd went wild, naturally. They got a standing ovation. The energy was buzzing. Axel was joking around from the first second, he was talking with Maxence and with the boys and with Zoe, making jokes the whole time, even gave the host what looked like a slap on the ass hahah. He looked very hyped up. The whole cast looked very happy to be there.

The duo photoshoot was suppose to start 10:15 but started around 10:45 instead. So the day already started with a delay, and because a lot of events had some overlap (for example they couldn't start the group photo shoot if a few cast members were still busy with their duo's) it had a sort of domino effect throughout the whole day. There was a lot of waiting and a lot of standing around. When I was in line for the duo photoshoot, Axel and Maxence were both hugging fans they met before (even though it wasn’t allowed, which I still don’t understand tbh) and one girl wanted to do the Polaris hand holding bit with Axel and he went with it and looked at her so softly it was a lot okay, I hope that girl is still alive. I saw Maxence do the same thing with another girl during the same shoot, so they stood back to back with the girls in question (the picture later became famous because of the manip smh) And just before it was my turn, Maxence draped himself over Axel and they hugged with Maxence standing behind Axel and Axel reached up to touch Maxence's arm. This wasn't for a photo they weren't even facing a camera, this was just them being their caring selves. They were really sweet together the whole day, as everyone has seen by now.

We had to wait a long time for the panel to start, and they started way later than planned. Maxence was still busy with his duo with Rocco and Assa and Lais also came in later. Everything was in French and the host translated. I considered going up to ask a question (tell us more about the 90% social media content that Axel wanted to do that went too far lmao) but the queue filled up so quickly and I knew there was a limited time for the cast, so I didn't. In the end it's probably for the best seeing as they went on for a half hour longer because Axel is the literal best and I will not hear anyone say anything different. I thought the host did a good job, but I still think a lot of details got lost in translation because he obviously couldn't translate every single thing word for word. I cackled because when he talked in English he pronounced Axel and Maxence's names very Englishy. I thought it was cute that Axel kept shouting for Maxence to come join them when they started, and that when Maxence came in he sat in front of him. I sat pretty close to the stage at that point and saw that Axel explained to Maxence that he yelled his name hahah. That whole panel was golden, loved hearing about their fave lines and upcoming projects, plus they were all so sweet to each other, ugh, name me a better cast istg. Some of the other highlights for me were how adorable Axel and Leo were together and how Moussa and Lais are integrated into the whole cast and got along with everyone. Seeing Lais and Maxence interact got me thinking about seeing Sofiane and Eliott together on screen and now I want it even more tbh. Of course everyone knows that Axel ignored the rules and insisted on talking to everyone who had a question, went off stage and talked to the people who were left, tried to include everyone, in general he had a really big role yesterday. I got an ask saying he is a true born entertainer and that's true, he really is (I will answer that ask later I promise, I am just way behind tbh sorryyy).

After the panel was the group photo with the skam france cast. The chaotic energy was off the chart. Especially Axel and Maxence, I saw Maxence bite some girls tag that was around her neck for the picture lmao. They kept cheering the people on who came for their picture, it was adorable. When it was my turn I stood between Axel and Maxence and ugh, just, it was great okay. I said thank you when I got my picture, and Maxence went: nooo, thank yOuUuU (you know the voice he sometimes uses? Yeah) what a sweetheart tbh.

After this there was a looooot of waiting for me. The only thing I had left was the autographs and selfies (this was one event) and that could not start before all the group photos were done, and they went on for way too long. That just means the organization sold too many or didn't calculate the right amount of time it would take. I managed to catch some of the skam og panel and italia, but not all of it, and tbh it's all a blurr because I was busy with processing everything haha.

Finally it was time for the autographs, and the line was looong. I had the pleasure of seeing Axel carry Lais to the tables up close and personal, what a legend. The times I fondly shook my head with a grin on my face yesterday because of that chaotic king are countless. Just before I was almost at the end of the line, they cut us off because they needed to start the closing ceremony (for lack of a better description). Luckily they wrote numbers on our hands so we didn't have to wait all the way back in line again, because after the ceremony they would get back to it. This wasn't in the schedule, it was suppose to be over, hence closing ceremony, so the skam france cast stayed behind way longer than planned. The closing ceremony was very emotional, most of the cast got tears in their eyes as people shared their stories. Not everything was translated but you could still tell it meant a lot to them. Not to mention the amount of money they managed to raise with the convention. Truly amazing. Of course we all saw the cast go absolutely nuts to one direction lmao, that was a treat to see after such a long day. Idk how they kept up their energy, especially Axel who seems to be inhuman tbh. He never seemed very tired, you could see it a bit in his face but he powered on and I love him for that. The rest of the cast was definitely more visibly tired, some more than others of course. Finally we got back to the autographs, and still it was a long wait. I think we were there for nearly 2 hours and I only got to Marilyn, Lais, Axel and Maxence. By then it was 21:00 and I could barely stand. I only ate two mini croissants for breakfast and had a few handful of nuts during the day. I wasn't hungry but that still probably wasn't very smart of me. I kind of regret not staying to get the other autographs as well, but I was truly spend. Lais is as much a ray of sunshine as he is on TV, he is super nice and thankful, as is Marilyn. They were kind to everyone. That's something that I can say about the whole cast: everywhere I looked, I saw happy cast members who were touched by every single person who come up to them. Amazing really.

I'm not gonna lie, I was looking forward to getting to Axel the most. Anybody who follows me will not be surprised by this. So let me tell you a little bit about it. Axel gives the best hugs, is kind, is soft, calls you by your name, explains to you that he will read your letter later and carefully because he reads every one of them (I assured him that I am aware of that and very thankful) and that he wants to take his time with it to be able respond to it (which is not something I expect or even want, I just wanted to thank him and tell him how great he is, no response necessary). When I said it's been a long day he said no no no no, it's been a cool day, and I think he really means it. He was so full of energy after that long a day. He is so happy whenever he sees someone he remembers. And when I asked for a hug he said pffff of course!!! Did I mention he winked at me? Yeah. I really thought I could not love him more than I did but I do. I'm so grateful to have been able to meet him and talk to him and ugh ugh just, I can die happy now.

Maxence was really tired and stressed by the time I got to him and he took a smoke break just before. They warned us to keep it short because it was taking too long, so I did. I gave him the letter I wrote and he thanked me and we took some selfies. He was very nice but you could tell it was a lot for him, and that's very understandable.

After that we went back to the hotel and I literally could not even form proper sentences anymore. We didn't get any dinner, we just talked for a bit to let it all sink in and then we went to bed.

Tbh, it's still a bit like a dream when I think back on it. It's a good thing I have pictures because otherwise I wouldn't believe it myself. I love this cast and this show and the crew too of course, I am so happy I went and the next time I get the slightest change to see them again I will take it without a doubt. They are all amazing. 10/10 would recommend.

PS: if anybody has any questions don’t hesitate to ask, although I might not know the answer or remember haha.

#tara at eli3 #eli3 recap

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sippin-on-red-wine · 5 years ago

Text

No. 6 Collaborations Project: A review!

It’s been a week since this fabulous album has dropped into our hands. Click “Keep reading to hear my thoughts on each track!

Track 1. Beautiful People Khalid ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You look stunning dear/So don’t ask that question here

Thoughts/Reflection: Ed keeps referring to this song as ‘cozy’ and I completely agree. The vibe is cool. I love the tone of his voice here and I think it meshes really nicely with Khalid’s. The content isn’t super relatable, but I think we can all take something away from this one. It’s a good note on self-awareness and being able to see the reality in things that may look glamorous on the surface.

Track 2. South of the Border feat. Camila Cabello, Cardi B ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So join me in this bed that I’m in/Push up on me and sweat darlin’/So I’m gonna put my time in/Won’t stop until the angels sing

Thoughts/Reflection: This track is literally freaking scorching hot fire. TBH I’m surprised that they led the album with IDC and not this one. It feels like big radio potential to me. Regardless, this song is an absolute BOP - so catchy and so fucking sexy.

I know Ed’s Spanish leaves something to be desired ☺ But I feel like we can cut him some slack after singing (yet another) song dedicated to going down on a woman. The ginger is forgiven! Five stars for him! And I’m going to have SOTB on repeat all summer (or for the rest of my life).

Oh, I also really like Cardi on this song. IDK if she’s problematic or w/e, I don’t really follow her in the media at all. But her verse is fun. (I think Ed got a lil jungle fever AY) bahahahah

Track 3. Cross Me feat. Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit/Keep a lil blade in her fuckin’ lip gloss kit

Thoughts/Reflection: Love love love LOVE this one. It just makes you want to get up and DANCE the damn thing! I have to laugh a little at the thought of Ed being hard & tough, lol, but it’s a cool concept nonetheless. Like he said in his Charlemagne interview, it’s kind of a love song…. but a different tempo. It’s catchy as all hell and Chance’s verse is fucking cool.

Full points.

Track 4. Take Me Back to London feat. Stormzy ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Coz you can win BRITS (it don’t stop)/And you can do Glasto (headline slot)

Thoughts/Reflection: Fuck. This song, though. IIt’s the first one that jumped out at me when I did my first full album listen. And I haven’t stopped listening since. The chorus is so syncopated. Stormzy is sick on this track, I love his voice so much. And it just feels like the two of them really play off each other nicely and probably had a blast making this song.

Also, Ed flexing “Grossed half a billi on the Divide tour/No I’m not kidding what would I lie for” is BDE and I’m personally really here for it.

This song is a banger and you should dance in your kitchen to it while baking pastries. FIve stars for you, Big Mike and Teddy.

(Dear God please let Stormzy guest live in Ipswich)

Track 5. Best Part of Me feat. YEBBA ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: it’s not a lyric but that part when Ed & YEBBA are harmonizing perfectly in the whoooaaAAaaaA

Thoughts/Reflection: I love the sound on this song! His voice is so raw and tender here. It reminds me of Plus era, but grown up. I think it may be how delicately he approaches the syllables in his verse and the chorus. YEBBA’s tone is super rich and lovely, and they sound great together.

I’m taking a “star” off here because I don’t love the lyrics. I get that he’s being vulnerable and showing insecurities in verse 1, but then YEBBA follows that up with lamenting about misplacing things and being late for the train? It doesn’t seem to match up with admitting physical/bodily insecurities. Also, it could just be that I hate that Ed thinks of himself this way.

DUDE IS HOT AF

Track 6. I Don’t Care feat. Justin Bieber ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: I don’t like nobody but you/I hate everyone here

Thoughts/Reflection: Oh god. When did this song come out? I’m trying to think back to my first impressions of it, LOL. It’s bright and poppy and of course it went and stayed #1 all summer (thus far). I remember thinking it was so cool that the melody is super mainstream and upbeat, but the underlying theme is around social anxiety. “Crippled with anxiety/But I’m told I’m where I’m sposed to be”

I mostly skip this one now that the full album is out, but I think I listened to it for a full 48 hours on repeat when it first dropped. Bieber is problematic and shit, and honestly I don’t think he adds much to the song. I really like Ed’s acoustic version where he does the whole thing solo.

The bridge slaps. Literally. I love that clapping bit behind it. I wish that Ed hadn’t fucked up the lyrics to the bridge in the acoustic version lolololol

Four stars, will bop along for many moons to come

Track 7. Antisocial feat. Travis Scott ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So antisocial but I don’t care/Don’t give a damn I’m gonna smoke here/Got a bottle in my hand bring more tho

Thoughts/Reflection: DID YOU SEE HIM GUEST AT TRAVIS’ SHOW LAST NIGHT? This song was already one of my faves but holy shit. In interviews, Ed talks a lot about feeling awkward on stage without a guitar - but it didn’t look like that last night. He was bouncy as all hell, sounded great, looked great. Looked like he was loving the crowd’s energy too.

And the music video? That deserves a post all on it’s own.

This track is pretty short but it’s packed with good stuff. Ed’s intro is really strong here, the chorus is interesting despite the repetition. I physically can’t help but groove along to this tune. I’m sorry. I have no say in the matter

Track 8. Remember the Name feat. Eminem, 50 Cent ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: 20 years old is when I came in the game/And now it's eight years on and you remember the name/And if you thought I was good, well, then I'm better today

Thoughts/Reflection: YES. YES. YES. The song intros with a reference to Ipswich, bitch. I love how Ed makes those connections back to his upbringing.

It’s a little unreal that these three iconic voices/styles can flow so well on a song and still sound so balanced.

I’ve got this one on repeat too. I’m determined to learn all of the words damnit!!

Five stars for a tune that I would love to see performed live someday.

Track 9. Feels feat. Young Thug, J Hus ★★★

Favorite Lyric: See you wigglin’, jigglin/If I have a bite will it taste like cinnamon?

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is fine. I like the feature verses. The song just doesn’t stick out that much for me.

Track 10. Put It All on Me feat. Ella Mai ★★★

Favorite Lyric: I try to be strong but I got demons/So can I lean on you?/I need a strong heart and a soft touch

Thoughts/Reflection: Falsetto. Falsetto everywhere. I love that! Ella Mai’s voice is so rich. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot more to say on this one. It’s not a song I’m playing on repeat, but I don’t skip it either.

Track 11. Nothing On You feat. Paulo Londra, Dave ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You and I/Whisky on ice/Maybe later we can turn down all the lights

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is SEXY and cool…. ‘smoke clouds and the scent of perfume’.... the imagery. Man. More falsetto here. Also, please go look up the translation of Paulo Londra’s verse. Thanks. I’m sweating. Is it hot in here? This album is *sexual*

ALSO THE ‘BRRRP’ AFTER “they keep ringing my phone” bahahahahah

Track 12. I Don’t Want Your Money feat. H.E.R. ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I need you here for the good times and the bad times/Yeah the pullin’ out my hair gettin’ mad times/Not just the when I’m in your bed on my back times

Thoughts/Reflection: THIS IS SUCH A GODDAMN TUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love this song so much. 10/10 jamming out to this in the car at every opportunity. Finger snappin’ cool r&b vibe. I love the super quick tempo (but not quite rap?) in Ed’s verses. And I always appreciate the little double-meaning-references in Ed’s songs - like ‘diamonds, silver or gold’ means $$$ of course, but also just success in terms of album sales performance.

TBH when I saw the title on Ed’s tracklist reveal, I totally thought this would be a slow mushy love song about how Ed’s lucky to have found someone who wasn’t into him for his money. This was a pleasant surprise!! I love that it’s a little angsty.

Five STARS bitch I love this song and y’all are sleeping on it

Track 13. 1000 Nights feat. Meek Mill, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Birds eye view/Pay my dues/For a two-mile queue

Thoughts/Reflection: i been ON for a thousAND NIGHTSSSSS NEW YORK TO LONDONNN DIFFERENT CITY EVERY DAYAYYY

1000 Nights: a flexy bop and I love it

This song is about the Divide tour which has been going for approximately 572 years. Not that I’m complaining.

But it’s cool (how many times have I said ‘cool’ in this post? don’t answer that). Ed loves touring and that comes out in this song. And Meek’s verse is so fun to rap along to!

Four stars.

Track 14. Way To Break My Heart feat. Skrillex ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I can’t stop thinkin’ bout her/And her lips on mine, so soft/Feelings I don’t know the name of

Thoughts/Reflection: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

This song is NOSTALGIC and I simply adore it. It has that same… “cozy” feel that Beautiful People does. Which is strange, considering it’s a song about heartbreak. But it’s just so. Soft. And warm.

We’re back to super soft placement of words and such pure tone.

It’s hauntingly beautiful. And yet uptempo! Bless, Skrillex. I especially love the drums that come in during the chorus, after “you’re still gone, and i’ll say”

PS, the soft sound of mouth smacking at :13. Use headphones.

Some of my favorite Ed songs are ones about heartbreak, and I appreciate that he included one here. About an imaginary heartbreak 👀

Take another five stars from me, bud

- Track 15. BLOW feat. Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Hot damn/Pop it like a pistol mama/You got me down on my knees/Baby please?

Thoughts/Reflection: *laughing nervously*

Again, definitely not what I expected out of this track when the titles were all revealed. I LOVED release day on this one. The world collectively lost their shit. I need nothing more in this world than to see this song performed live, especially with a full band and Ed on an electric guitar.

I’m still not over this loud, full, energetic song full of men bellowing about wanting to, well, fuck.

Bye

(five stars from me and also my 62 year old coworker Jan)

:::OVERALL:::

This album is SO GOOD MATE and I already cannot wait until the next collabs project! Ed blessed us with 15 amazing tracks to tide us over until Subtract comes out. They’re so different from his normal album stuff and I really love to see him try new sounds and get to create/collaborate with artists he admires so much.

it also has me real hot and bothered lmao

Thanks for coming to my tEd talk.

#ed sheeran #no 6 collaborations project #album review #surprise bitches i love every song #what did you think would happen

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bipercabeth · 5 years ago

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So, can we hear your thoughts on TS7? I remember your breakdown for the Ben Platt album and wanted to hear what you have to say about Lover

oh man, i already know this has to go under the cut. i have,,, so many feelings

i forgot that you existed - this song is such a good opener for the album. both the lyrics and production are so light and carefree, which makes it the perfect transition from the intensity of reputation to the softness of lover. she’s not reinventing herself, she’s growing. i love the way she plays with harmonies in the chorus! and i adore how the last line of the verses swells ominously before releasing into the playful staccato of the chorus, i think it’s really indicative of the anxiety surrounding the situation vs the simple and relative ease with which it was all forgotten

cruel summer - tbh i’m glad this wasn’t a single in the place of ME! or yntcd because listening to this was literally a full body experience. it would’ve killed as a lead single, but it definitely hit harder for me hearing for the first time in the context of the album. i read the lyrics of the first five songs when they leaked and genuinely thought i wasn’t going to like this song, but i went absolutely feral at the bridge. (also upon listening i adored the lyrics, so i will no longer be trusting my opinions based on lyrics alone.) if i wasn’t sold on the rest of it, the bridge is what solidified this as one of my favorites on the album. the way the synths build and then cut out for HE LOOKS UP GRINNIN LIKE A DEVIL,,, i lost my shit. astral projected. if this song is playing, i will not turn it off before i get to scream that line. also “i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” is incredible.

lover - words cannot describe my love for this song. my friend veronica described it as the love song of our generation and honestly? she’s not wrong. lover’s lyrics are simple, but hit like a ton of bricks regardless. the key to simple lyricism is finding the words that everyone has always wanted to say (lean on me is a really good example of this but i’m not going to get into songwriting theory on this post) and lover does exactly that. simple descriptions of simple acts are her window to how all-encompassing this love is. the 6/8 timing (a fucking WALTZ y’all) gives it the 2 in the morning kitchen dance feel. it’s a love song in every aspect. i’m never gonna be over it.

the man - a bop. the low notes in this song? incredible, especially in the bridge. those low harmonies took me OUT! the first line of the chorus is so killer as well. and she says bitch twice! taylor said i am 29 i curse and have sex, get over it. there’s less to analyze in this song, but that doesn’t mean i’m not in love with it.

the archer - i am telling you i heard the first goddamn synth note and KNEW jack antonoff was all over this song. i really needed this song to come out when it did, because after those two singles,, i needed some hope for this album. it did not disappoint. the slow build of the synths into one massive crescendo at the bridge instead of the usual rise and fall of most pop music. every single note builds to the bridge, to the anxiety of that repeated they see right through me, to the cause all of my enemies started out friends / help me hold on to you. it swells like the slow draw of a knocked arrow, like an archer taking aim. and then all at once, it fades like the string was released. i adore every single aspect of this song.

i think he knows - my percabeth loving ass needs to take a second to talk about the line i am an architect, i’m drawing up the plans and how it sent me to the fucking moon. but anyway. different post. it is physically impossible for me to stay still when this song plays. the harmonies on that AH in the chorus made me lose it. i want you, bless my soul is so southern and absolutely beautiful. she’s straight up pining in this song, and she knows it. that way she closes the song with that line on loop? sets the tone so well.

miss americana and the heartbreak prince - i have no idea why i didn’t like this song upon first listen, but now i like it! still not my favorite on the album, but the bar is high.

paper rings - god i cannot believe that she said his friends were high at the met gala i’m fucking dead. this whole song is peak old taylor, just grown up. it’s got the same catchiness as stay stay stay, but with a more grown (but still fun) outlook. this one is real experience talking, and it shows. she’s got the love she always wanted to write about! i’m not okay!

cornelia street - her delivery really makes the song for me. you can physically feel how much she loves joe and how real that fear of losing him. that stripped down chorus after the bridge where her voice breaks? she’s so in love. i’m so in love.

death by a thousand cuts - GOD i love this song with everything in me, even more since watching Someone Great. it’s the perfect narrative song for that movie. it also contains the single most Taylor Swift^tm lyric of all time: but if the story’s over, why am i still writing pages? ALSO? WE WANNA TALK ABOUT BRIDGE CITY?? this bridge goes so hard. i can’t convey my love for it unless we’re in the car together so i can scream it properly. ultimate car song.

london boy - so fun! people who are upset over this song gotta calm down, it’s a fun, catchy song. i don’t have much to say about it, but i enjoy it! i won’t go out of my way to queue it, but it’s cute and cheeky and i like it.

soon you’ll get better - i knew from the first goddamn guitar lick that this was going to wreck me, but once i realized what it was about,,, i didn’t stand a chance. i literally went back after my first listen through the whole album and listened to this song on loop for at least half an hour and just. sobbed. it hits home way too hard for me. again with that devastatingly simple songwriting. you’ll get better soon / cause you have to absolutely destroyed me. also, this is a really small detail, but that breath at 2:41 really does me in. it’s so defeated, i can’t. her delivery in this one is an absolute gut punch.

false god - jack antonoff is all over this one and i love it for that. taylor swift said i fuck and i respect that. the sax? get out of here. it’s so perfect. it’s horny, but like,,, emotionally horny. perfect fit for this album. i adore it.

you need to calm down - okay ngl i don’t like this song or ME!, but i’m really glad they were singles because if i heard them on this album for the first time i would’ve been :/ about it. instead we got that right out of the way and now i can appreciate the good parts of them. the oh’s in the chorus are really pretty! i don’t actively dislike this song, but i don’t actively like it either.

afterglow - i love that taylor put a song about fighting on this album. i think this made the album feel so much more real. it’s about love, and fighting is a part of that! we break a little from the picture perfect aspect of songs like paper rings and get a little grittier. people make mistakes, but the love guides the choice to stay, to ask for forgiveness and promise to do better. this makes the entire narrative of lover so much stronger.

ME! - same sentiment as yntcd in terms of it being the lead single, except i’m really not a fan of this song. i can handle it up until the spelling is fun part. i cannot believe “can’t spell awesome without me” is so close to daylight. i appreciate the point of the song and what she sets out to do with it, but i just. can’t get over that damn bridge.

it’s nice to have a friend - i really didn’t like this song at first and i’m still warming up to it, but i definitely am! it’s such a percabeth song. i’m not sure why i didn’t like it, probably because it doesn’t escalate or go anywhere, but i think that steadiness contributes to the meaning of it

daylight - i could literally write an entire essay on this song alone. it’s the perfect closing song for this album. i don’t want to see anything else now that i saw you / i don’t want to think of anything else now that i’ve thought of you are literally the most tender lines i have heard in my whole life. the comparison between this and her notes from red make me openly weep. the bridge of this song literally feels light daylight, it shines and feels warm and god i love love! i once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden made me cry when i heard it. i can’t stop thinking about that quote that says “lover is the sound of a songwriter getting to write the album she’s always wanted to write”. i could literally cry just thinking about that. she got to write the album about golden love! her whole career is based around singing and writing about love, and now she has exactly what she’s been grasping at all this time. it’s downright poetic. the monologue/outro only did me in more. she’s spent so long being defined by other people, and here she makes that definition for herself on an album that she owns every part of. it’s perfect.

#please do not ask me how long i spent on this #ts #music #anon #iris messages #bless u anon i would die for u #it makes me so happy to know that people want to hear my thoughts on music okay this is my love language #i mean i'm gonna give em either way but its nice to know they're wanted

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guylty · 6 years ago

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It’s time to come to a proper run-through of last month’s Red Dragon Con 5 in London. Kate already wrote at length about the decision process and the run-up to the con on her blog last week. I’m afraid, I didn’t have that many qualms. When the news came through that Richard was going to attend the con, I was on those tickets as fast as you can say “Dolarhyde”. Not because of Hannibal, the fannibals or any previous con experience. In fact I had never been to a con before – and if truth be told, I never really wanted to go to a con before. But after checking the con ticket prices and making sure that flights to London in February are generally slow sellers, I reckoned that it was worth investing in it – even if only to witness the potentially one and only ever con attendance of Mr Armitage. Who knew whether this kind of event would ever happen again – with RA, that is? He had been rather shy about attending cons in the past, so this could easily be a once-off. Enough reason for me to see for myself, especially as I had experienced the fannibals as a very welcoming, nice fandom back in 2015 when Hannibal was on air. However, I was rather relieved that not only one but two of my fandom friends agreed to join me in London – Kate and Hariclea.

RA is definitely my Waterloo…

What more or less passed me by was Kate’s long battle in January with a very persistent cold that almost had her cancel her participation. We did, however, lose Hariclea as a co-con companion, as sadly, Hariclea’s mum passed away a couple of days before the event and she understandably had to cancel her attendance to go home. Nevertheless, on Friday morning, I took the early morning flight to LCR to get a few hours of exhibition hopping in before I was going to meet Kate. I made my way out to Heathrow to meet Kate in the hotel she had kindly booked. Sharing a hotel room with a stranger I had only known online and barely seen a photograph of? Of course – I have only ever met nice people through my fangirling activities. Plus, she was taking the same risk *grins*. I took the Piccadilly Line out towards Heathrow, got off at Hatton Cross, hopped on a bus, got off at the edge of the Heathrow runway, walked through a rather cold, grey, wet London day and kind of chuckled when I saw the hotel was right next to a bowling alley. Well, just in case that whole con malarkey didn’t work out we at least had some alternative entertainment…

Fuck it, Dude. Let’s go bowling!

I can tell you, there was a certain amount of excitement as I made my way to room 156 where my conspirator was already waiting for me, having checked in an hour earlier. If I hadn’t stopped smoking last November, I would’ve had a couple of rollies to calm down the nerves. (cf. a previous meeting also involving a hotel way back in 2014. I see a theme developing here…) As it was, I didn’t need any rollies. Kate opened the door, I said hi, we hugged – and we launched into a very comfortable friendship right there and then. Let me tell you, the woman is tolerant, witty and easy-going, ignoring my moody nonsense and providing the funniest comparisons from here to the Antipodes and back. We seemed to be pretty much on the same wave-length with everything over the weekend – from party attendance to fannibal defending to beddie times. Kate had me in stitches with her quips, and that alone made for three of the happiest, most carefree days of my life.

N/C

Registration

So, with the basics basically out of the way, we were looking forward to the weekend, con novices that we were. The con was billed to start at 4pm on Friday with registration. Since we had opted to stay in a hotel about 15 minutes away from the con venue, we decided to head over to the Renaissance hotel for a bit of re-con – and a bite to eat – in advance of the 4pm registration. Much to our surprise, a queue had already formed when we entered the lobby of the Renaissance hotel at about 3pm. We joined the queue – an exercise that would prove to be event-defining for the rest of the weekend… At the end of the queue we registered and received our dog tags badges for the event.

Totally reconciled with the fact that Gold tickets were sold out: Regular tickets were adorned with the Armitage. ‘A beautiful rear can also endear’ etc.

Thanks to some prior research we had also a) brought lanyards (so didn’t have to buy any) and b) signed up for stewarding at the con. Except that while Kate’s application as a volunteer had been accepted, I had never heard back from them. Kate encouraged me to try and get into stewarding nonetheless – which I did and was also “ennobled” as a con steward. This proved very useful later on. In various respects.

But first of all Kate and I finally got something to eat in the bar – and had our first *real* encounter with a fannibal, a lovely woman from Germany called Johanna, who really and totally set the tone and the bar for all subsequent interactions with the Hannibal fandom. There is next to no chance that she is ever going to see this, but if you know her, please let her know: Johanna, if you are reading this – thank you for being so kind, so funny, so encouraging. You really make a fantastic figurehead for your fandom. I enjoyed meeting you, and I regret not having bumped into you again! – You would think that you can’t lose your companions in a hotel – but you can. A lot of the communication and arranging of meetings was conducted via text message and/or Twitter DM that weekend. And that includes my roomie Kate and I. Yep, there were various instances where we had to call each other on the phone to locate each other in the hotel. Mad! Luckily fellow fan armidreamer and I had also exchanged phone numbers, and so I was able to hook up with her on Friday, too, and we ended up meeting all through the weekend. The more the merrier, right?

Anyway, the queuing continued, this time for the various extras one could splash out on. Photo ops and autographs are the big draw at cons, and I suspect it is where a lot of extra money is actually being made. Coming to RDC5, I had no intention of getting anything beyond the one autograph that was included in my ticket already. When Kate said that she was going to get a photo done, I was still undecided. However, you can’t just rock up at the photo (or autograph) sessions at these cons. Rather, you buy a voucher that entitles you to a photo shoot or an autograph. And so I decided to play it safe and bought a photo voucher – just in case. More about the whole photo saga later. And believe me, it’s a saga. If I knew it would be, I wouldn’t have bothered. I am still embarrassed. Like many other people I also had huge reservations about paying hefty prices for an autograph. Especially as autographs actually do not mean that much to me *personally*. I own a few already (personalised and unpersonalised, on photos, programmes and tickets – heck, I even have a silver “RA” on my beloved Pop!Thorin – see picture right), and I never had to pay for any of them. But then I thought I’d better use the opportunity and get a couple of autographs signed for future auctions – my donation, so to speak. And I also wanted to get a souvenir for Hariclea as a tiny little consolation for missing the con… So, whoa, 85 GBP went out the window there… (1 photo + 2 autographs). Seriously, I do hope that Richard also got a cut of that! Yep, I am still reeling myself. Don’t tell Mr Guylty, or this marriage is over! However, I’d ask you all to not be judgmental about this. Not that I mind if you were judgmental to *me* about this – I used to be the same for a long time. So, serves me right. But the other fans do not deserve any derision. There is much some to be said for and about these paid photo ops and autographs, the people who provide them and the people who buy them. And I will get to that in due course. Suffice to say that, with all that queuing done, it was already time to gather in the main hall for the big event of the day – the Opening Ceremony. Were we going to get our first glimpse of Richard?

Opening Ceremony

Remember I said it would prove useful to sign up as a volunteer at the con? Well, we realised that when we walked into the main hall for the opening ceremony. Not sure how many rows there were in total, but the first ten rows or so of the auditorium were completely occupied already, as were the last ten. No coincidence: The first few rows were reserved for Gold ticket holders! (If you were admiring those fabulous photos of Richard taken at the con – those came from Gold ticket holders who were really quite close up to him and the other guests.) Regular ticket holders had to sit at the back. There was only a small number of rows in between that still had empty seats – and they turned out to be reserved for the stewards!! So we quickly brandished our steward badges and bagged some seats half way back the auditorium. Definitely worth while volunteering – not least because it looked as if there were not enough seats for the regular ticket holders for whom extra chairs were added at the back of the hall. Anyway, this was our view:

The red and black dot on the stage is Jeremy Davies (played a character called Peter Bernadone in Hannibal). He was the first guest to be called onto the stage, and you get an idea how many people were there and how far back we were sitting – despite our privileged steward seats… After Davies, two more guests were announced, namely Aaron Abrams and Scott Thompson. They were the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of Hannibal (playing a bit of a comedic duo, crime scene investigators Brian Zeller and Jimmy Price) and absolute fan favourites. (You may also remember Scott Thompson from the Hannibal aftershows “Post Mortem”.) I very much warmed to them, too. (More about that in a later post.)

And finally, finally… Look at the picture above again. See the screen on the right? And further right to that, the double doors? That’s where the guests were ushered in, and wow, like at every other event I have ever seen RA live at, it gave me a total jolt to the stomach when I spotted RA there, beside the stage, waiting to be called… He couldn’t help but mess around before he was introduced and made funny shadow shapes behind the screen… Don’t you just have to love him…? I really dislike the word dork, but he really is a messer! You’ve already seen some of my pictures of the event, so I’ll put a slide show in here with the whole, unedited shebang – sorry, really not great, but just for the record.

The Complete and Unedited Pictures of RA at the Opening Ceremony

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This whole solo appearance lasted for the tiny eternity of 2 minutes, btw! As the second billed guest RA received a lot of cheering and clapping – he was the eponymous Red Dragon, after all – but not as much as Mads Mikkelsen, understandably. He looked absolutely gorgeous on stage though, not least because he was casually dressed all in black with tighty black jeans, a comfy hoodie and a leather jacket. All of the guests had directed a few words at the audience, but RA really made a nice little welcome speech that seemed a bit longer. “Some of you travelled far and braved the weather, congratulations. I didn’t have to because this is my home.” etc. He also could not resist a comment about the flower crowns referring to them as “flower heads” (although one of the previous guests – Aaron? – had used the term before), no comment 😁. His toned down facial shrubbery that was more like a slightly neglected lawn of wild flowers than a full-blown hayfield, looked rather good from far away. And from closer up, even more so, I suppose…

(See the edited pics of the opening ceremony in bigger version in part 2 of my RDC5 series.)

I have to say that I thought RA looked and sounded like a complete pro in those two minutes he had on stage. His ex tempore speech was just perfect for the occasion – welcoming people, referring to the actual day (by way of weather – so English *haha*), throwing in a little personal admission (“I’m at home”) and spreading a bit of fun with his gentle teasing re. flower heads. So yeah, I thought he came across as a confident and self-assured, a bit curious and wide-eyed about the whole event he was finding himself at, but willing to go on the journey. Again, I felt as if he really set the tone there, opening up and signalling that he was here to experience this and that he was willing to have fun. Thumbs up. Finding out that his appearance on stage only lasted 2 minutes, really surprised me. At the time, it felt much longer. But yeah, maybe time stands still whenever the master himself turns up in RL *hehe*…

Anyway, RA was then followed by the star of the con, Mads Mikkelsen. Again, he also made a lovely little intro speech, and I have to say I was very much impressed by the resounding and warm applause that he was welcomed with. You could tell that the fannibals were absolutely ecstatic to have Mads at the con. They didn’t hold back, and those kind of open admissions of love and admiration were something I really, really loved seeing all through the weekend. – After Mads had been introduced, all guests returned to the stage again. As part of the whole group, Richard looked slightly shy and awkward on stage, I thought. Not quite in his element. He was definitely the tallest of all guests, yet even as it was happening and I hadn’t even yet seen any photos of the event, it occurred to me that he looked as if he wanted to blend into the background. Up to his usual modesty, I guess, he was kind of standing one step behind all the others, kind of slouching a bit, with his hands in his pockets and his head all the way down to his shoulders. I haven’t really got any pictures of my own showing all of the guests standing there on stage, but yeah, my heart broke a little bit there – whether it was for a gorgeous guy making himself small and invisible, or for a gorgeous guy being modest and humble, it definitely added to his attraction. However, it also added to the danger of succumbing to APM…

Anyway, believe it or not, it was all a good start to the whole experience. Nice fannibals, nice fellow fans, nice roomie, nice guests, nice RA. The opening ceremony was just half an hour long or so, then the guests were all whisked away and the room emptied. We were basically done for the day. For the Gold ticket holders, it was only just getting interested though: They actually had a meet & greet with the guests – which Richard apparently was a great hit at, according to the tweets that I saw. Ourselves, Kate and I kind of hung around, thinking we might have a look at the promised party. But then we both kind of folded at about 9pm and decided to go back to our hotel instead. It had been a long, exhausting day – with both of us travelling from a different country, finding our way to our hotel, meeting each other, negotiating our way around the event – and dealing with the accelerated heart rate of being in the vicinity of the OOA… No wonder we thought we needed to lie down.

In the end, we actually ended up chatting until after midnight. The amount of processing to be done when seeing RA in the flesh *haha*… And that was only after half a day of con life… We had no idea what was going to hit us the next day…

An Armitage Fan at #RDC5 – FRIDAY [part 7 of the whole saga otherwise] It's time to come to a proper run-through of last month's Red Dragon Con 5 in London.

#Francis Dolarhyde #Hannibal #rdc5 #Red Dragon #Richard Armitage

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