#DEFINE WESTERN ENGLISH

[mayday396]

Some Asians need to Understand that just like variants of speaking Chinese or Japanese.

ENGLISH HAS MANY VARIETIES, SCOTTISH ENGLISH, COCKNEY, TEXAN, ETC.

[yellowocaballero]

So fucking glad to see someone talk about SSS Class revival hunter 😭 I lived it so much and I feel like no one ever mentions it against more popular titles like ORV or even The Lout of the counts family, so I'm so glad to come here and see your amazing takes :>

Thank you for the ask which lets me talk about SSSCRH (the version I read was titled 'Suicide Hunter', which tbh I like more - no beating around the bush).

It's hard to draw an accurate comparison since I'm going off just the webtoon for SSSCRH, while I'm going off both the webtoon and the webnovel for ORV. And I love ORV, ORV is my media blorbo right now, it hydraulic presses my brain, I am writing ORV fanfic - it's, like, funner to enjoy. But SSSRH is just better. In the vast majority of ways it is is better. It's better than the holy trinity by a wide margin. TW talk of suicide obviously.

I can't believe I'm saying this but you need a basic understanding of Buddhism in order to understand SSSCRH. It's not about Gongja's suicides - he doesn't suicide from depression or lack of self-esteem. SSSCRH is about suffering in the Buddhist sense - dukkha. I don't want to make this an essay, so I might reblog this with more information, but extremely shortly:

The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism is the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. You've heard that Buddhists say 'life is suffering'. To put it one way that doesn't require defining a lot of words: the cause of suffering is experiencing the world as we percieve it instead of how it truly is. Suffering isn't just being miserable and in pain, and life isn't suffering because life sucks and global warming exists and people voted for Trump. Life is suffering because we can experience beautiful and joyful moments in this world, but we do not exist in the moment of that happiness or place our ego/'self' between us and that happiness. Living in that moment, accepting the moment as it is unconditionally, is freedom from suffering. The Buddha tries to free people from suffering through teaching Buddhism.

"What does this have to do with the webnovel and manwha about a guy murdering himself thousands of times" it has everything to do with it. Because SSSCRH is about suffering, and it is about using suffering as a tool in order to experience a world unfiltered by ego and break down the artificial boundaries between human beings. Suffering in SSSCRH is not a bad thing. Gongja has the unique capability to (reincarnate.) experience a person's suffering in unity with them, which dissolves the delusion of separation between people and puts us in touch with the reality of oneness.

The Murim arc was fucking insane because Gongja pulls a Big Bodhisattva Move and walks through the suffering of the world in order to achieve full understanding of the human experience. He takes all of the suffering of the world into himself and is liberated. You can tell it's Buddhist because death was not presented as a bad thing - death was an aspect of a happy ending for the Heavenly Demon lady, because she was finishing her life according to her own joy, and because her teachings were passed on she did not truly die.

But the purpose of embracing suffering is to discover the ability to fully embrace life, and that's where Heavenly Demon's teachings were incomplete - as the ghost dude said, Gongja hasn't even experienced his own full life and the infinite capability for his own happiness. You can only feel the depths of sadness when you've felt the depths of happiness. Sadness deserves its place in the world and it can strengthen you, but so does happiness.

Gongja is attention-seeking, envious, and unbelievably petty. When he drills down into his own desires and why he wants the things he wants, you see that he has a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong - he realizes he doesn't want to be famous, he wants to be acknowledged, but on an even deeper level he is desperate for love and to be loved. Everything he does is to experience love, and as such he learns to love others. His love for the Flamey Asshole was purely parasocial and ego-filled, with no concern for who he was as a human. Throughout the manwha, he grows to care for people as they truly are and pierce through any delusions or misleading outward appearances. He has released all attachment to life and death, and as such does not fear death, and as such has taken a step on the road towards becoming a Boddhisatva who frees others from the cycle of samsara, and as a result has learned sick sword techniques and is sooo good at beating people up.

I think the only other thing I want to mention here because otherwise this is an essay: in almost every time loop/regression story, only the final regression matters. In stories with dungeon monsters and NPCs, only the humans matter. The regressor exists in a space where there are no consequences for their actions, so they act terribly and do whatever because none of it matters. In Groundhog Day Bill Murray acts like an asshole because he can. That's not the case here. Everything Gongja does matters. The NPCs are fake, but Gongja never treats them as anything less than real people who deserve life. Once he understands a person's life he never treats them as unimportant. No loop is thrown away and no person or life is disregarded. His choices matter, the way he treats others matters, and Gongja never treats anybody as if they don't matter except for himself.

That was not short. There is a lot more. The female characters are so good and so rich. From a craft perspective it is excellently paced and has a wonderful sense of set-up/payoff and balances tone and maintains a lot of momentum, which is really hard in a time loop story. You have to do a few very specific things to write OP characters well and SSSCRH does it very well. There's more to say from a craft perspective and it's hard to judge accurately from a webtoon but it's good. I was so strangely struck the entire time about how sincere and genuine it was, how it said what it said with no trace of irony of confusion, and I think that's what stuck with me the most.

TL;DR: SSS Class Revival Hunter is good for a lot of very normal reasons, such as excellent pacing and set-up/pay off and characters, but it's also so sincerely and genuinely Buddhist that it blew my tits clean off.

[monsterenergypunk]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

[zan0tix]

Hi tumblr user Zan0tix, I have to say that I love that you draw Jake as big and hairy AND fem. It's such a rare combination outside of mean-spirited caricatures, every time I see your Jake I get a big smile on my face. :)

Hi tumblr user HermitCyclop ^u^ here is a jake drawing for you 🫶

The transmisogynistic demonisation of these features is so maddening!!! I agree! Im glad that the intent (appreciating these features) of my jake design reaches you c:

GOING TO PUT IT UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. But jake english gender meta because i think about it Too Much and am taking this as an excuse to infodump abt it. 😁

The alpha kids and their specific defiance of both homestucks gendered narrative AND real life societal expectations are so fun to think about to me!! but since we are talking about jake, his specific defiance of both homestucks models of masculinity and femininity in the context of his queerness is like the reason he is my fav character.

He props himself up that he wants to be the adventure "hero" in the homestuck sense (the hardheaded blue femme fatale) and the western media sense (the hardheaded action man) yet whenever pressed to actually act on what he says he always refuses or obfuscates. Because really what he wants is to just be himself! I really love the alpha kids because they all just want to be Themselves, not be restricted and defined by what is expected of them, (all the characters have this but the alphas particularly really hammer this home for me)

The heavy emphasis on their beta selves, the heteronormative archetypes they embodied and what went wrong in their lives that manifest as fears in their alpha selves... im always thinking about it. How differently society affects queer ppls choices in life and then the fact that they all get a second chance and getting to watch them live out that second chance and realize their queerness and them all caring so much abt eachother and wanting to aspire to be better FOR the ones they love!!!!!! it always tugs at my heart strings to ponder😢😢

IM SO GOOD AT GOING ON TANGENTS MY BAD but basically. The alpha kids explicit queerness and how despite the comic itself protesting, they are all shown to be deserving of love (of all kinds) And as a person who super heavily relates to jake, his experience with his own identity (and dirks unending adoration and love for him and likewise jakes belief and admiration of dirk) serves to me as a reminder that yknow! We are all worthy of love!! Even if we dont think ourselves to be (this is just the message of shrek.) and there is always hope to be found in things improving!!!!

But in a text thats explicitly queer and not shy about letting its queer characters do wrong in realistic ways i think this message is incredibly powerful and certainly one of the best things about the comic in my eyes. And i love embracing that in my art of the characters! Drawing queer (but here specifically trans) characters all getting to be proud of themselves and their appearances makes me feel proud of myself alongside them and I think its wonderful to be able appreciate other trans peoples experiences and looks through it too!!

I specifically in homestuck fandom dont really see anybody but twinks (usually dirk or eridan LMFAO) portrayed to be fem in any manner 😢 when jake is the most explicitly feminine man in the comic. (I think the transmisogyny thats kind of rampant in this fandom means people dont want to consider those outside conventional attractiveness being feminine or transfem identities outside binary transwomen if even that😭😭) I am being the change i wana see in the world 🙏 The amount of transfem fat gay bear jake in the world increases by one every time i post

[libertineangel]

Principles of Communism

It's pretty clear, looking at the situation in many parts of the world, that Western liberal capitalist government as we have known it for the last several decades is collapsing, that its contradictions are coming to the fore and people no longer have faith or interest in it as a provider of safety, stability or survival.

This is inevitable, and as it collapses it can go one of two ways: either it reaches its natural endpoint in fascism, or it is swept away in revolution. As we are seeing, from the US to Europe to Aotearoa, only one of those forces is currently ready to take power. While there are many existing communist parties, in my experience most of them seem to focus their efforts - if indeed they do anything - on attracting existing communists who either aren't organised or organise with their rivals, which I think is a far less helpful task than simply making more communists.

To that end, I - with proof-reading and advice from the dependable @/mesetacadre - have tried to edit Engels' foundational Principles of Communism into a form easier for a new reader to engage with in the 21st century, as I still believe it is the ideal starting point, but it must be said that with a great deal of propaganda telling us that communism fell 30 years ago it doesn't help us seem especially relevant if we recommend a document that refers to 1847 as the present day.

I encourage all and any to read through it, especially anyone who defines themselves as a nonspecific "leftist" or who still trust the established political systems to liberate us. Read, share, distribute however you wish, if it brings just one person to accept communism it will have done its job.

[rainbow-crane]

In-Depth Character Analysis On All The DR Characters Because What, Are You Gonna Try And Stop Me? Who Are You, My Mom? Yeah, I Didn't Think So- Part 1: Kiyotaka Ishimaru

Yes, I'm aware the title is ungodly long, it's called comedy. Behold, a series inspired by my overwhelming hubris! Despite my better judgement, I love this series and (almost) every single one of its characters, so I decided to do this little series of posts on the side, just cuz!

So part 1 of like, 88 I think?, going through the characters from THH, DR 0, SDR2, UDG, DR3, and DRV3 with as much objectivity as possible, analyzing their character using only canon material from the games/anime/novel/canon adaptation they're present in. So sit back and enjoy while I go feral! Or just scroll, if you aren't interested. Whatever works for you.

Part 1- Character Design

Kiyotaka Ishimaru is depicted as a very aggressive honors student, and is shown as such through his very expressive facial features and his choice of clothing. He has large eyebrows and big eyes, and is given a uniform meant to make him look more like a soldier, reflecting his rigid dedication to the rules and his ethics. This uniform also includes an armband meant to signify his authority within the class as Hall Monitor and as the unofficial class rep. His sprites are very animated, with big gestures using his arm(s) and his mouth often wide open, whether in a wide smile or while yelling. This makes him one of the more expressive characters in THH specifically, as most of those characters are pretty restrained on a day-to-day basis and only become more exaggerated when put under high levels of stress.

Something interesting about Taka is that his talent changes from the original Japanese to the English translation. His official talent is the SHSL Public Morals Committee Member, meaning his original talent was that of discipline and social order. This was translated to Ultimate Moral Compass in English, as most western schools don't have a Public Morals Committee. This change in translation unintentionally shifted the perception of his talent from discipline to morality. This change in distinction has had a bit of a negative impact on the Western perception of his character, as rather than appearing to impose order on the other students, it instead appears at the beginning as though we, the audience, are supposed to view him as a beacon of morality. We're not.

Part 2- Character Introduction

Taka is one of the first characters to actually speak to Makoto directly, berating him for being late on the first day of school, despite the fact that he and everyone else had experienced a strange warping of memory. He also goes on to interrupt your first conversation with Sayaka, stating that their time is being wasted by 'ridiculous back-and-forth'. Despite this, when it's his turn to introduce himself to Makoto, he goes off on a tangent about how cool Makoto's name is. He's described by Makoto as a 'flawless honors student' and is most publicly known for his work on his local Public Morals Committee. He believes in putting 'every ounce of effort' into living, and imposes this belief on those he interacts with, something Makoto finds irritating(This guy is... kind annoying.").

So in short, Taka's first impression on the player is that he's a mildly obsessive honors kid, and a bit of a hypocrite that isn't fully aware of his own presence or the effect it has on the rest of the cast. The game goes on to use this lack of social awareness as a source of comedy, as he takes Monokuma's initial greeting as Headmaster fully at face value. He struggles to grasp the concept of the killing game at first, opening the discussion upon Monokuma's departure from the welcome ceremony with dialogue that sounds like it was pulled from a customer feedback survey("So guys, how would you define what we just experienced?"). He's not a malicious or hateful figure; he wants to work with the class but isn't quite sure how to.

Part 3- Early-Game Events

The game spends the early-game establishing Taka's more negative traits. He's shown to be inobservant and wrapped up in his own ideals and need to command authority to even notice Kyoko is missing and, upon being informed of her disappearance, cares more about her punctuality than her safety. "Not only is she late, she didn't tell anyone she would be late! A most unbecoming personality trait..."

He's also established as hypocritical once again, and a bit egotistical, as he has trouble fathoming the others' lack of discoveries but overinflates the importance of his own.

He then goes on to agree to Celeste's suggested nighttime rule for all the boys in the class, without letting them speak for themselves. While ultimately, no one has a problem with the rule, this is the first real instance of him doing something that, on paper, is beneficial to the group, but without considering how the others actually feel about it.

Taka doesn't show up in-story again until the day of the motive, when he goes around to the entire class demanding that they will now all have breakfast together every morning after the morning announcement. Although this is a good idea, allowing for everyone to bond and creating a morning headcount, he makes this decision for the entirety of the group. Leon and Makoto both complain about this if you speak to Leon outside the cafeteria, but ultimately go along with it because they don't want Taka to continue bugging them about it. So we can see that his efforts are perceived negatively by his classmates and go unappreciated.

Already we've seen Taka act overbearing and commanding over and over, inadvertently separating himself from the majority of his peers. He's direct and to the point, forming the breakfast meetings expressly to 'become friends and build trust' with the rest of the class. So we can see in no uncertain terms that he wants to befriend his classmates, but that his lack of social skills leads him to fail at every turn. He doesn't ask the class to join him for breakfast, he tells them. The strategy he employs doesn't leave room for choice, and ends up building resentment from his classmates.

It's not until the first body is discovered and the rules of the class trial are revealed that reality fully seems to set in for Taka. He, along with everyone else, are given the rules of a game they don't really want to play- that should they fail in the trial, all of them will be killed. And it sends Taka to a breakthrough- that some regulations can be harmful to those they're imposed upon.

There's now a shift in his actions- he's still trying to push for the class to follow the rules he's set, yes, but there's a newfound urgency to them. When Byakuya disappears in chapter 2, his concern has shifted from punctuality to his classmate's safety. He's the one to lead the search for Byakuya when he doesn't answer. Despite all his harshness, we can see that his strictness now comes from a place of genuine concern for the people around him, a direct parallel to earlier in the game when Kyoko went missing- "I'd like to think so. But I'm worried something might have happened to him."

This growth of character, though not focused on, is undoubtedly present. The dedication he has to his discipline and his ego are still fully intact, but now that dedication has moved beyond just order. It's an act of protection, for him and everyone else. The invisible threat of death has become all too visible with Sayaka's absence from their last breakfast meeting. If he can keep track of everyone, then he'll know they're still alive. He can prevent another murder. It imposes upon him the responsibility of the leadership he craves.

Part 4- Relationship(s)

Unincluding if the player actively seeks him out through FTEs, Taka only ever develops a real relationship with one character of the other fourteen in-game, though he does have some important dynamics with others. We'll continue moving in chronological order.

4.1- Ishimondo (these bitches gay?)

Throughout the game, whenever Taka is saying or doing something stupid, Mondo is typically the one to call him out on it or shut him down. While this doesn't start to take real shape until chapter 2, it is visible here and there in the early game.

But their connection doesn't really start to take focus until chapter 2, as Taka's failings as leader and Mondo's constant correcting him puts them at odds. Mondo's attitude is the antithesis of Taka's, living a life of complete risk and impulsiveness, yet has a matching level of energy, and despite being more intimidating on a surface level, he's able to actually befriend characters like Chihiro, Hina, and Sakura, while Taka's left on the out. One of the best examples of this is found not in the game, but in the stageplay adaptation, where both characters attempt to help Chihiro feel better about her weakness in the daily life segment.

When Byakuya starts mocking Chihiro for her fear, Mondo threatens him, and insists that Chihiro's weakness doesn't matter because she's a woman. But when this makes her upset and Sakuraoi call him out on it, he offers to help Chihiro train as an apology, acknowledging that his behavior was irrational. But when Taka tries to give her advice by telling her not to be weak anymore and is told to be reasonable, he can only insist that Mondo's words don't matter anyway.

In the game itself, Taka's barely present for this exchange, as it chooses instead to focus on Chimondo's relationship. Regardless, the animosity between Mondo and Taka is still made very clear in-game.

Mondo and Taka are both demonstrating the desire to protect their classmates here, but in different ways. Taka is the more logical of the two, focusing on keeping track of resources and devising a system of check for everyone to keep watch over each other in the breakfast promise. Mondo, meanwhile, wants to push the importance of actually getting everyone the fuck out of there. While their endgoal is the same, they disagree on how to go about it, and both their stubbornness drives them to butt heads as time continues to pass, leading to the sauna scene.

After being slowly built up in the background, Ishimondo's mutual anger finally comes to a head, with both not understanding the position that the other is in. Taka still believes Mondo's value to be what he provides to society, and as a biker gang leader, that's not much to a man that lives by lawful discipline. Meanwhile, Mondo can only see Taka as an egomaniac with a stick up his ass and doesn't know the background to why(and neither does the player without actively seeking out his FTEs). They each follow a different code of ethics, and view themself as the protector of the class, leading them to see each other as rivals. Yet, despite that, both of them still share their core value of total dedication, and so when finding a way to prove themself the better man, they end up with an endurance competition. For Taka, this reflects his belief that men connect by baring their souls, and do so by baring their bodies(something only learned in-game by approaching him for FTEs).

(This also leads to the implication that, while Mondo insisted on entering the sauna with all his clothes on, at some point, he was, in fact, naked while with Taka that night.)

The information as to what happened in that sauna is intentionally left unanswered, remaining fully private between both men in-game. The only thing either of them will say is that a brotherhood was formed between them, and that who won their initial contest no longer matters. Finally, Taka has found someone. Someone he can confide in and lean on, someone who'll support him and that he can support in turn("And if you can't do it alone, just find someone to support you, and you can support them back! That's how you can overcome any storm!" -Taka ch 1).

And then Chihiro's case happens.

At first, when the motives are introduced, Taka is one of the few to vocally insist no murder will take place. He has newfound confidence in the willpower of his classmates, and puts faith into everyone else for the first and only time. Even when presented with his own unknown secret, he finds it ridiculous that anyone would kill over the embarrassing memories and secrets. It's here that we truly see the highest high of this character- when he comes up with the idea to share secrets. When he presents this idea, he moves forward as usual, preparing to be the first one to reveal their secret and take the pressure off. But when his classmates insist they can't (Toko & Celeste) he doesn't keep chugging along, and he doesn't completely shut down, either. He looks around at his classmates, and he asks Chihiro. He actually steps back and asks for someone else's opinion.

And when she isn't yet comfortable, he backs off. He respect her wishes, and he stands with the class, ready to help them face their secrets the following day. Finding a friend in Mondo has softened his rigid exterior a little bit, enough to actually consider the opinions of the others. He's gotten comfortable. All that comes crashing down with the discovery of Chihiro's body the next morning. After finally taking a step back and letting his classmates- his friends- make their own choices, it directly leads to the murder of one of them("Dammit! I'm sorry, Chihiro... It's all because I wasn't strong enough!").

Taka fully blames himself for allowing Chihiro to be murdered, and as the guilt of failure starts to set in on him, he looks to his ethics and order to solve it. Chihiro may be dead, but the murderer will be condemned through the class trial("Justice always prevails! Right, bro!?"). A solution, a path forward, still exists for him. He still has Mondo by his side, and he and the rest of the class can surely prevent this from happening again, right?

The trial only validates him at first, revealing the existence of a serial killer among the group, someone so clearly immoral for her killing obsession. But it's not her. Why isn't it her? "Could such a heinous villain really be innocent!?" But his confusion is quickly stamped out- of course, it's Byakuya, the guy that's been threatening everyone and refusing to cooperate, the guy that has no regard for the rest of their classmates. "He kept calling this a game, right? So he'd totally be willing to do whatever it takes to 'win'!" But no, wrong again- he didn't know that the murder was in the boys' locker room, and was taken aback by Chihiro being AMAB. It should be him, someone so clearly antagonistic, that's how it's supposed to go, right?? But no, it's wrong! Why? And, who could kill someone like Chihiro at their most vulnerable?

He's failed. Taka's failed in every way conceivable. Mondo, the first person he's ever truly felt connected to, a murderer? Chihiro's murderer? That can't be it. Even long after Mondo's stopped arguing, Taka continues to push back against Makoto and Kyoko's accusations. It's a coincidence, that's not actually proof, anything to get them to stop, to save his brother, to save himself from the reality he's about to have to face. When sent into the BTB, it's Taka we fight in his despair, not Mondo. Until the very end, Taka won't acknowledge it. He can't. He can't bring himself to vote his Mondo a murderer, a killer. How could the man who gave him the chance no one else would, ever be so cruel? "I- I refuse to believe it... There's no way... no way he would kill someone! Why!? Why why why why why!? WHYYY!? Why did you do it!?"

He learns the truth of Mondo's story alongside the rest of the class, unable to process it all. It makes no sense. They were friends who trusted each other, who helped each other. And what about the man's promise? Doesn't that count for anything!? This doesn't sound right. This isn't Mondo, not his Mondo, not the man from the sauna. How could he have been so wrong about him?! It just can't be, but it is; the truth is but a slap to the face.

He was wrong. He stood by Chihiro's killer and defended him. He let his brother become the monster he saw himself as. He didn't stop it when he could have. He was blinded by his own beliefs, and as he watches Mondo's death, his spirit dies with him, the game cutting out all music as Taka screams, filling a deafening silence. "As Taka's sad screams invaded our skulls, we were each forced to realize once again..."

4.2- Kiyondo Ishida

Taka enters chapter 3 as a hollowed out shell of himself. He's gone near comatose, staring at nothing and saying nothing. He won't eat, won't speak, won't sleep, and although there are a couple weak attempts to get him back in action from Hiro("It's times like this where the committee chairman needs to get things going with a BANG!"), he's mostly left to grieve by himself, as the rest of cast is more concerned with the expanded school than the bossy guy they didn't like that much.

Monokuma even goes out of his way to torture Taka, to punish him for his grief, lying about the existence of a time machine just to fuck with his head and give him false hope, sending him further into despair- "Hmm... You sound disappointed. But actually, I was lying about the whole thing anyway. There's no such thing as time machines!" He's forced to become Monokuma's most successful project from the class, completely and utterly destroyed.

When he learns of Alter Ego, something in his head clicks. He can still talk to Chihiro. He can repent. He can apologize directly to him. So, with Makoto's help, he's brought to the laptop. His guilt finishes totally consuming him as he asks: "Do you... hate Mondo? And since I couldn't stop him... do you hate me?" His own self-hatred stemming from his failure is projected onto Alter Ego in one last attempt to come to terms with what's happened. The response he receives, unfortunately, is the culmination of all the toxic and unhealthy ideas of manhood the other boys carried with them via an attempted simulation of Mondo.

"You're not letting yourself get crushed under the weight of that responsibility, are you!? A man's only worth as much as the load he can carry! You get it, right bro!? Hell, what am I saying? Of course ya do!"

"So you're just gonna stand there, huh? Just wait for things to get better? Just take your time and get all depressed... Take the time to indulge your regrets... You might even start walking again without realizing it. Sure, that kind of mediocre thing might work for some people."

This speech, while attempting to inspire Taka to keep living for Chihiro's and Mondo's sakes, encapsulates the desperate need to be perceived as strong and untouchable that Mondo himself carried, and that Chihiro admired so much. It sinks its way into Taka, convincing him that the way to respond to his guilt is simple- pretend it isn't there! Mondo has clearly returned to him, and he's never letting him go ever again. He fully deludes himself, and he's fused with this idealized version of his bro. He permanently ties himself to Mondo's memory, and goes from the SHSL Public Morals Committee Member to something else entirely- Kiyondo Ishida, the unholy mixture of both men.

This revelation also leads him to an obsession with Alter Ego, viewing it as the vessel in which his bro was returned to him. He views it as another chance to protect his bro from ever being hurt again, as some divine second-chance he's been granted. All desire to be around the rest of his class is gone, replaced with this obsession. He's put at odds with Hifumi, who's also connected with the AI, and separates himself from the group that much more. When Alter Ego disappears, he can't handle it. He panics. He won't let his bro die, not again. And so he dooms himself, refusing to let go of the shadows of the past enough to see his own death looming before him, and he's killed in the early hours of the morning, led by desperation to his demise. And even so, the class can only worry about the semantics of when he died, barely mourning him.

5- Isolation (What's the point of this guy, anyway?)

Rather than learning from the mistakes both Chihiro and Mondo made by subscribing to the societal expectations of what makes a man, Taka ends up doubling down, burning away the optimism and more reasonable logic Taka used to have. Taka's story is that of a doomed fate to become the symbol of manhood and its self-destructing nature, leeching off of his first and only friend's unhealthy behaviors and sending him spiraling. And it's allowed to happen because of his social isolation.

From the very beginning of the game, Taka is singled out as annoying to be around. He's put in a negative light and viewed as unpleasant to spend time with. Every attempt to befriend or connect with a classmate is written off as a nuisance, a hindrance. Taka doesn't know how to make friends. He doesn't know how to do anything besides follow the rules and regulations he's been taught. He sticks to his regimen, because it's comfortable, and doesn't understand why others can't conform in the way that he does. He's very thoroughly isolated mentally and emotionally from his classmates at every turn, to the point where even in the very first trial he's standing with no one but the dead by his side(as Sayaka and "Junko" were positioned on either side of his podium).

All this is done with the deliberate intention to showcase his solitude, and more importantly, the loneliness that comes from it. It's to the point that when he finally does make a friend, he thoroughly idealizes him in his subconscious, coming to view him as some perfect person who'd even support him. It's inherently contradictory from his established beliefs going into the game, that a delinquent could be kind, but he accepts it wholeheartedly. He gets to know Mondo on some deeper level while in that sauna, and it's enough to rapidly develop a massive codependency on him. So when Mondo self-destructs and dies, so too does Taka.

Taka's purpose as a character is to suffer. He wraps himself in his moral beliefs, remaining steadfast in what he views as right and wrong, making judgement calls he's 100% sure of, and when they're challenged/disproven, he's thrown wholly out of whack. He exists to serve a purpose- what would've happened if Makoto didn't accept the truth about Sayaka? What happens when you let your idealism blind you to the truth? What happens when you blind yourself to the reality of the people around you, of the darkness in the people you care about? You self-destruct. He's tossed aside, killed as an accessory to the plot of someone who does nothing but manipulate the truth. He dies, and that's just it. His story is cut short; he doesn't get to heal or grow or come to terms with the truth. Such is the fate of the failed.

6- Afterword

...I didn't even touch his FTEs for this. Holy shit.

I'm gonna be honest, as much as I love Taka, I never expected this post would become as long as it did, or that I'd uncover such a dark fucking reason for why he gets as totally fucked over as he does. Don't get me wrong, I still really wish he'd lived and gotten to grow after this, but maybe his death was more well-written than I used to think. Good god.

[a-casual-kpopfan]

It's a Date. - Karina

Shoutout to @capslocked for the little beta read. <3

I'm starting to get back into the writing groove, dropping small fics here and there. This was fairly short and sweet, I hope you all enjoy as usual. :)

~~~~~

You were one of the hosts to take Aespa around New York while they’re on tour; today was an off day and you were with the group and their managers going out to several shopping districts and trying desserts throughout the day. 

“Oppa, how come you’re not looking around for things?” Little Winter walking along next to you like a puppy, if a puppy can carry like 5 shopping bags with their paws.

“I live in the city Winter; this is my lifestyle.” You look around the shopping centre, it’s bustling and hustling as NYC would be normally. “Oh, come on oppa, there’s got to be something for you to do too, what about a girlfriend?” You had to think about it, it’s been a while since you were out with someone, let alone had a long-term relationship. “Ah, the last time I dated someone was back in college.” You gave a little smile to Winter as the two of you walked just behind the main group of members and managers.

Karina who’s walking along the main group takes a glance behind, seeing you and Winter laughing through your conversation. She excuses herself from the main group and slows down to the pace of you and Winter. “Ahh, what’s so funny?” Karina may be one of the most visually appealing idols and one of the most captivating people to ever walk this planet. But her looks don’t define who she is; Karina is actually a walking toddler.

Her cheeks are puffed up and lips in a pout. “Winter here is calling me a fossil, calling me old because I haven’t dated since college!” You were playing along with the act, acting a little whiny and childish which was alright, you’ve been with the girls a couple days already, they’re really playful and outgoing which is something you really appreciate seeing in Korean idols compared to a lot of Western stars you’ve hosted around every once in awhile.

Winter laughs uncontrollably on your left side, and is holding onto your arm, Karina is happy to see that there’s someone to trust outside of their group. “How old are you then oppa?” Karina tilts her head like a puppy, it really seems like Aespa as a group is a bunch of little puppies. “I’m 26 years old.” Winter pretends to be super shocked, exaggerating a dropped jaw. “Oh, my goodness, you’re a grandpa!”

“Yah, I’m only 3 years older than Karina.” Trying to defend yourself from Winter, but on the other side Karina is laughing at Winter’s reaction. “Oh, you’re not that old oppa, I just see the little white hairs appearing on your head.” Karina jokes around but catches you off guard making your jaw genuinely drop. “Ms. Karina!” Your jaw stays open but with a smile, you are putting your hand over your heart as if you got shot, but what really shot you is Karina’s smile and laughter.

Your walk through the mall was fun, it was all smooth going until…

“Oppa! Let’s go get you some clothes!” Giselle, the most fluent in English, pulls you into a local clothing shop. “Giselle!” The idol continued pulling your arm, you really didn’t have a choice. “Please, just call me Aeri.” With a reassuring smile that it’s okay to be on a first name basis at this point. “I feel like we’ll know each other a lot more after today.” Aeri with an excited smile, confuses you but you just go with the vibe.

“Oo, you'd be good with this… And this… We should try this too…” Aeri is picking out several pieces of clothing, going through different kinds of pants, looking at the blazers and some tops. “Giselle.” Aeri looks at you with a glare. “Aeri…” The glare changed to a smile, relieving you of possible stress. “Oppa, just try these on, okay?” Dumping a small pile of clothes into your arms, all you could do is sigh and accept it.

You went through multiple variations of outfits from all the clothes that Aeri has chosen for you. After spending about a half hour trying on clothes, there was a set that both you and Aeri found fond of. “Wah, oppa! You look so handsome!” You were wearing a short sleeve dark blue blazer, though worn open and on the inside, a nice grey, almost a salt & pepper style t-shirt, a black jean, complemented with a very dark brown leather shoe. “Wow, I have to hand it to you; you have great style Aeri.”

“Perks of being an idol~” You look through the mirror and watch Aeri pose with a V sign, making you laugh.

“That decides it, let’s go buy them!” You shook your head and looked at Aeri through the mirror. “I may be making decent money but buying all this is too expensive for me.” Your little shopping companion comes up to the mirror and looks you in the eye. “Oppa, who said you were going to pay?” And out of her pocket is her credit card from the company. “Yah, wouldn’t they be mad if you bought something not for you with this card?”

“This is the least that I can do being such a great host for us the last couple days.” You turn around to see a sincere smile and it doesn’t seem like she would take ‘No’ as an answer. “Okay, you win this round.” Aeri clapping her hands and you shrug in defeat as you make yourself to a change room with your original clothing.

Aeri kept to her word, now you’re walking along with Ningning and holding quite a lot of clothing. “Are you having fun with us, oppa?” It’s almost like each member is having their turn with you throughout the day. “Sure, I am Ningning, I get to spend time with very famous idols.” Ningning wasn’t satisfied with that answer. “What do you really like to do for fun?” You were confused as to why the idols are being really personal with you lately.

“Hmm, I’m originally from South Korea, but after moving here I really grew into North American culture. Watching basketball games, going out for bar food like wings and burgers with friends late at night. I do enjoy playing billiards, I’m always open to trying new activities.” Ningning now seems to be happy with that answer. “It seems that you’re very active.” You and Ningning kept the conversation going with each other, more and more you’re finding out the girls like to drink and eat a lot in the dorm, yet they seem so fit for the amount of food they consume and more Ningning is finding out your habits here in New York.

Once finding a restaurant to have a late lunch, you and the group were seated but you offered to sit separately as you would like to give the girls and managers their privacy.

“Nonsense! You’re sitting with us!” Karina was not happy with your suggestion. “You’re a part of us and you’re sitting with us.” The leader was standing firm, and wouldn't budge for anything. “Because you’re trying to bail on us, I’m making you sit next to me to keep an eye on you.” Karina poking your chest with her finger, you were given no choice. You couldn’t help but smile about it and shrugged. “Good, let’s go.” Karina grabbed your hand and dragged you in.

You were led to a large table fitting for 8 near the back of the restaurant, not completely private but obscure enough to eat comfortably. Karina sat on a bench with Winter and a manager beside her, one seat was left, and you were going to offer it to Ningning or Giselle, but you watch them already sit on the other side of the table with their other managers. “Nope, with me oppa.” Karina was sitting down, looking up to you with a smile.

“I really can’t get away from you, can I?” You finally gave up and sat down to the group’s leader. “Looks like someone has a liking for him.” Winter nudges Karina, shortly getting a slap to the leg to deny the teasing. “Yah…” You couldn’t hear the little whispers, you tried to ignore everything so the members can have a sense of comfortability and privacy, but then Karina can easily notice that you’re feeling uncomfortable.

“Hey… It’s okay.” Karina lays her palm on top of your hand and pats it. “Just be yourself, that’s all I ask for.” Her head is on a tilt, her smile, sincere. You nod your head and try your best to follow Karina’s asking. She’s always tried to make sure that her members were comfortable, that her manager was okay, but you being an outsider only have been with them for a short amount of time, Karina had always made sure that everyone was alright, she’s a great leader.

Lunch went smoothly, you and the managers had some good laughs, the members were having a good time, but alas all things must come to an end. The shopping is done, lunch is over, now you’re walking the girls and managers back to the hotel.

You bid your farewells, but Karina comes running back to you before you have the chance to leave the premises. “Oppa, I have a favour to ask you.” Karina's demeanour is off, hands behind her back, one foot balance on her toes, her eyes facing the ground, avoiding your gaze. “What is it, Karina?” You were curious, it’s not everyday you have a beautiful woman in front of you acting like a fool.

“I... Uh… Have this friend who’s coming to the city later tonight… I was hoping you could tour her around, like you did with us?”

“Oh… What could I have hoped for?”

“Sure, what time should I meet her?” You accepted without an issue, you wanted to be a good guy, you just spent a few days with the group and why should you decline? It’s not like you have a date to attend to.

“Yay! Thank you oppa, here’s her number, meet her here at 8pm!” Karina hands you a paper with an unusual phone number, not an area code you’re familiar with but you took in anyways. “Thank you oppa.” Karina bowed in respect before running back inside the hotel.

You would be a little disappointed, but this is a favour.

~~~~~

You make it back to the hotel at the time Karina told you to be there by, you texted the phone number that you arrived in the front. Good thing Aeri took you to go shopping for new clothes, you must dress up a little for the New York nightlife.

You: Hey, I’m in front of the lobby.

Unknown: I’ll be right there!

That reply came quickly, you were on a look out for someone outside the hotel, but the results would surprise you.

“Good evening oppa.”

You spin around to Karina, a different outfit from this afternoon. Instead of a white sweater and a long skirt, the Aespa leader is changed into a thin back long sleeve, mesh-like material being near fully see-through, a black bandeau underneath, complimenting her large bust and curves, paired with blue jeans and to finish with black boots.

“K-Karina?!”

Shocked to see the leader alone, no supervision, not even anyone watching from the entrance. “I hope you don’t mind me taking off my extensions, I felt like the short hair for our date.” Karina plays with her hair then smiles at you, she has somewhat of a gummy smile.

“Wait, I’m sorry, our date?” You were extremely caught off guard, Karina? Aespa’s leader? A kpop idol? A date? With you? “You could have better options than this old man.” The idol slowly walked towards you, grabbing your hand with both of hers, it’s now you really took the time to see, Karina has baby hands. “Why not? You treated us well, made sure we were comfortable, this is the least I could do… And I want to get to know you more.”

“But I live here, you need to go back to South Korea soon.” The idol was only giggling, she probably has already thought about it, otherwise you wouldn’t think she would go through the trouble of setting up a date with you. “We can cross that bridge when we get to it. There is a lot of tour guides in South Korea that would like a bilingual tour guide.”

With Karina’s amazing smile looking at you the way it is, how could you deny her?

“Okay Karina.”

“Please, my name is Yu Jimin.”

You smile and chuckle.

“Okay Jimin, what would you like to do tonight?”

She pulled away one hand, but still held yours with one. “Hmmm…” Her facial expression turned to a pout, playfully laying a finger on her chin, exaggerating the fact she’s thinking. “How about we go to a bar, get some wings and maybe watch a basketball game if there’s any?” Your jaw was left open, how could she have known?

“Ningning?”

“Mhmm.” With a cute nod.

How would you survive spending the night with Kar- Jimin?

The two of you walked off in a direction where you heard was a good restaurant that had some of the best wings and flavours, Jimin couldn’t let go of your hand, she was basically latched on your arm at this point.

“Oppa, are the New York Knicks any good?”

“Oh man… Don’t get me started…”

[thehealingsystem]

for those who want to see where the link if referencing ^^

I am literally fucking BEGGING you all to also acknowledge the racism behind the terms "non-man" and "non-woman" and how they're used in queer definitions.

Black and Indigenous queer people have literally been talking about this since the definition was COINED but there's literally NO acknowledgement of this when pointing out why "non-men loving non-men" and "non-women loving non-women" are shitty fucking definitions to force on a whole community.

"Nonman" and "nonwoman" are terms that have been historically used to describe the degendering of black people in society. And words can obviously be used to mean different things- we don't have to stop using these terms altogether. But forcing these terms on a whole community of queer people is really fucking antiblack.

Not to mention that it blatantly degenders a lot of 2S lesbians and gays as well. It basically tells them that they can't be 2S and as a lesbian or gay at the same time, because then they would be "contradictory." I seriously hope I don't have to explain how racist it is to exclude a large portion of Two-Spirit people from your queer label because they don't fit into your neat little white gender binary.

Like these definitions aren't bad to use for yourself personally- but stop forcing them on all lesbians/gays. And if you're advocating for why these shouldn't be used as the most prominent definition, PLEASE acknowledge the racism aspect of it.

[notfreetoday]

The Importance of Amae in My Personal Weatherman

Masterlist || Language Analysis Part 1

I have seen a lot of discourse in the English-speaking fandom surrounding Segasaki's apparent dismissal or trivializing of Yoh's desire to pursue his manga, and most of it is negative. His comments about wanting Yoh to remain dependent on him, or that Yoh does not need to earn money are seen as patronizing or controlling at best and oppressive at worst. It appears that Segasaki does not understand nor respect Yoh's need for independence, and that is what strains their relationship.

But what if I asked you to consider that Segasaki's behaviour is actually an invitation to Yoh to reinforce their relationship? And what if I told you that Yoh's withdrawal from Segasaki constitutes a rejection of that invitation, and it is that rejection that strains their relationship instead?

Of course, the end result is the same - a strained relationship - and in reality there is never one side wholly responsible for this. The point of this is to simply challenge the cultural notion that a successful relationship is the coming together of two equally independent individuals, as opposed to the co-creation of a relationship formed by two interdependent individuals.

"If only you could stay drunk forever..." "It's okay to feel down again for me too you know" - Segasaki, Ep 4, Ep 5

This isn't about Segasaki wanting to keep Yoh is helpless and dependent on him, but about wanting Yoh to be able to be true to his feelings and express his own desire for affection honestly, without having to hide behind "I hate you" or rejection.

Or, let's try and talk about how Segasaki and Yoh reinforce their relationship through the use of amae (featuring a brief mention of tatemae/honne) who am I kidding this is not brief at all

First: Cultural Context

The way people conceptualize and make meaning of the Self differs between Western and East Asian cultures, and this plays into the differences we see in the basis for our self-esteem, the personal attributes that we value, and even what constitutes the behavior of a mature individual. Broadly speaking, Western cultures tend towards the Independent Self Construal (whereby the Self is a distinct entity separate from others) whereas East Asian cultures tend towards Interdependent Self-Construal (whereby the Self is connected to and defined by relationships with others). Thus, in the West, expressing one's individuality is very important for one's self-esteem, and being able to communicate clearly and confidently is valued and a sign of maturity. Conversely, in the East, one's ability to integrate and become a member of the group is prized, and contributes significantly to one's self esteem. In order to be seen as a mature individual, one must learn not only to read a social situation but also how to modify one's behavior in order to respond to the changing demands of that situation, with the ultimate goal being to maintain group harmony.

tl;dr - In East Asian culture, behaviors and attitudes that emphasize interdependence and promote group harmony actually play a big role in reinforcing relationships and one's membership towards the group.

Segasaki is an expert at this - his "public mode" that Yoh refers to actually shows us how good he is at social interactions. This is the Japanese concept of tatemae/honne (crudely translated as public self/private feelings) - which I could link to a bunch of articles for you, but I'm going to suggest you check out this 9 min street interview instead. At 6:41, one of the interviewees comments that another is sunao, or "honest" (we'll cover this later too) and at 6:49 specifically talks about how reading situations is important as an adult. Segasaki reads the room well, but most importantly, he reads Yoh well.

Yoh is not good at this, at all. In Ep 6, we see that he does not integrate well with the group, and he doesn't realize how he might appear to others when he stares and sketches from afar. Yoh does not read the room well because he doesn't pick up on social cues and does not adhere to social norms (I'll point these out in Ep 6's corrections). He cannot read Segasaki, and especially cannot read Segasaki's amae, or his attempts at reinforcing their relationship. Part of this is because his low self-esteem causes him to withdraw from Segasaki's affection as a means of self-protection, and so he valiantly tries to deny his feelings for Segasaki. As Man-san commented in Ep 4, Yoh is not sunao - he has difficulty with being true/honest about his feelings, even to himself.

Sunao is another term that usually pops up when talking about feelings/relationships. It can be used to describe one's relationship with oneself, as well as the relationship with another/group. With oneself, it is usually used to mean "being honest/truthful/straightforward/frank/open-minded about one's feelings". With another person/group, it is usually used to mean "to cooperate/listen/be obedient, or "to be humble/open-minded". In essence, the word encompasses an ideal virtue that is often taught from early childhood - that we should treat both ourselves and others with humility and honesty, because that is how we accept ourselves and stay in harmony with other. This is what becoming an adult, or gaining maturity, means (not gaining independence, as adulthood is often equated to in the West - do you see a running theme here 😂). Of course, that's actually really hard to do, so you'll often hear children (and immature adults too) chided for "not being sunao" (this can therefore sound patronizing if you're not careful). We'll revisit this in a little bit.

Second: What is Amae?

Amae is a key component in Japanese relationships, both intimate and non-intimate. It happens every day, in a variety of different interactions, between a variety of different people. But it is often seen as strange or weird, and those unfamiliar with the concept can feel uncomfortable with it. This stems from the difference in self-construal - because independence is tied so strongly to an individual's self-image in the West, it is very hard to fathom why behavior that emphasizes interdependence could be looked upon favorably. It is telling that every possible English translation of the word "amae" carries a negative connotation, when in Japanese it can be both negative or positive. The original subtitles translated it as "clingy", for example. Other common translations include "dependence", "to act like a child/infant", "to act helpless", "to act spoiled", "coquettish", "seeking indulgence", "being naive" etc.

From A Multifaceted View of the Concept of Amae: Reconsidering the Indigenous Japanese Concept of Relatedness by Kazuko Y Behrens

*Note - the word "presumed" or "presumption" or "expectation" or "assumption" used in the above definition and in the rest of this post, can give the impression that all of amae is premeditated, which adds a calculative component to this concept. Whilst amae can indeed be used in a manipulative manner (benign or otherwise), it is not the case for every single situation, and often amae that seeks affection is often spontaneous and without thought, precisely because the situation allows for it to appear organically. This is the amae that Segasaki and Yoh most often exchange - so think of these assumptions and expectations as "unconscious/subconscious" thought processes.

Third: Amae Between Segasaki and Yoh

Yoh shows a lot of amae when he is drunk:

He whines, buries himself into Segasaki's embrace, refuses to move or let go of him, and keeps repeating "no". In these interactions, Yoh wants Segasaki's affection, but instead of asking, he does, well, this, and he presumes that Segasaki will indulge his behavior. Leaving to get some fresh air might not be as obvious - but it is a form of amae as well, because Man-san is his guest, not Segasaki's, and he shouldn't be leaving Segasaki to entertain her. The expectation that this is okay, and that neither of them will fault him for it, is what makes it amae.

Segasaki obviously enjoys indulging Yoh when Yoh does amae, because he recognises this as Yoh's request for affection from him. It's not that Segasaki enjoys Yoh in this drunk, helpless state; it's not even that Segasaki feels reassured by Yoh's requests for affection. Segasaki knows Yoh likes him, and recognizes that Yoh is struggling with those feelings. That Yoh is actually able to do amae to Segasaki is what delights him the most, because it is something that requires a lot of trust in Segasaki and a willingness to be vulnerable in front of him. This is how amae reinforces relationships - when a request for amae is granted, both the giver and the receiver experience pleasant feelings.

That said, an amae request can also be perceived negatively - if amae is excessive, or if the person responding feels they are obligated to do so. In Ep 5, Man-san chides Yoh for his amae - the fact that he expected to do well from the beginning, and became upset when he failed. He told her about his unemployment, presuming that she would comfort him, but alas.

Segasaki also does amae - but unfortunately Yoh misses many of his cues, and so neither of them really gain pleasant feelings from the interaction (ok so maybe Segasaki does, but I will argue that is more because Segasaki also enjoys it when Yoh obeys him - see @lutawolf's posts for the D/s perspective on this!).

Did you catch it? Segasaki wants Yoh to pass him the Soy Sauce, which, clearly, he is capable of getting himself. He tells Yoh to feed him, because he wants Yoh's affection. And the real kicker - he asked for curry, and expected Yoh to know he wanted pork. In all these interactions, Segasaki presumes that Yoh will indulge him and do for him things he can do himself perfectly well (and even better at that) - this is what makes this amae. But look at Yoh's reactions:

Yoh just stares between the Soy Sauce and Segasaki, between Segasaki and his food, and then just at Segasaki himself. He doesn't recognise any of this as amae, and in the case of feeding Segasaki makes the conclusion that this is somehow a new slave duty he's acquired. And therefore, he does not gain pleasant feelings from it.

In Ep 3 we see a turning point in Yoh's behaviour - his first (sober) attempt at amae (the argument in Ep 2 is debatable - it's not amae from Yoh's POV, but Segasaki responds as if it were, with a head pat and a "when you get drunk, you talk a lot don't you?").

Here, Yoh wants to express his desire for Segasaki's affection, but he can't bring himself to say it aloud. Instead, he dumps bedsheets on Segasaki's lap, as if the bigger the scene he makes the greater the intensity of his desire he can convey. It is the presumption that Segasaki will understand him that makes this amae. And then, we get this:

Not only a happy Segasaki and a sweetly shy Yoh, but also a Yoh who's emboldened by Segasaki's response, and who finally, for the first time, reciprocates touch, and considers the possibility that Segasaki might actually like him.

With every episode, Yoh gets more and more comfortable with doing amae towards Segasaki, because Segasaki picks up on his cues and always responds to them. In Ep 5, Yoh's amae comes out naturally, triggered by the stress of his unemployment, and we see it in all those moments he sounds and acts like a child, and as I mentioned, Segasaki spends the whole episode reassuring Yoh that his amae is welcomed, and that Segasaki likes responding to it. If you've been wondering why the relationship between Segasaki and Yoh can, at times, feel somewhat parental in nature - this is it. It's because Segasaki sees the contradiction between Yoh's childlike insistence that he does not like Segasaki and his desire for Segasaki's attention and affection, for what it really is - Yoh's struggle with accepting himself. When Yoh is able to be sunao, he does amae naturally, and Segasaki responds to him in kind.

Now, all we need is for Yoh to recognize when Segasaki does amae, which will likely happen soon, given that Yoh has grown with every episode.

As always, thank you for reading :))

[dontforgetukraine]

TIFF: And so it continues...5 to ZFF

Aaand "Russians at War" is going to be at the Zurich Flim Festival. Because of course.

The Russian Canadian director Anastasia Trofimova met a soldier on home leave in Moscow's subway, accompanying him to the front lines, where she spent over a year filming unauthorized footage in a battalion near the Ukrainian border. In her film, she gives voice to soldiers who have no understanding of the war's causes and soon find themselves mourning comrades who have become Putin's cannon fodder. This harrowing and unique war documentary captures images you would never see in the news media. 'Who are the Russian soldiers who are fighting against Ukraine? What do they think of Putin? The documentary has them speak their minds. A film that revealed more to me about this conflict than 100 newspaper articles.' – Christian Jungen Anastasia Trofimova Anastasia Trofimova was born in Moscow and is a Russian-Canadian filmmaker. She first studied communications and political science and then international relations. Trofimova is a renowned filmmaker who has made a name for herself through her work in conflict zones such as Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Russia and the Democratic Republic of Congo. In her films, she addresses social inequality and injustice. She has been honoured with the Canada Screen Award and has participated as a jury member at the News and Documentary Emmy Awards five times. RUSSIANS AT WAR (2024) / CONGO, MY PRECIOUS (2017) / VICTIMS OF ISIS (2015) / HER WAR: WOMEN VS. ISIS (2015)

No mention of RT in the director's bio of course. Same shit, different film festival.

Also, if this propaganda film reveals more to you about the war than 100 news articles, that's not shining praise for the film, but rather an indictment of the sorry state of our collective media landscape in Ukraine and the West.

The West obviously has a problem of not reporting on Ukraine as often anymore. It's not "fashionable". A lot of the reporting I've come across is superficial and there is rarely a deep dive into the Ukrainian civilian aspect of the war. It seems there always has to be either a grotesque catastrophic event due to Russian aggression (like the Okhmatdyt children's cancer hospital), or an interesting enough topic in order for something to be considered (like the Mykola Hryshko national botanical garden being in danger of losing its tropical plants due to the war causing electricity cuts.) There is a dearth of human interest stories, which is the core of understanding this war and the effects it has on Ukrainians.

When there is such a story, it falls into the situation of the "box-ticking approach", as described by Dr. Olesya Khromeychuk:

It is not enough to simply ‘do Ukraine’ by reviewing one book on the war, especially if it’s by a Western journalist rather than a Ukraine-based author. It’s not enough to host one exhibition, particularly if it is by an artist or photographer who only spent a few weeks in the country. Quickly putting together a panel on Russia’s war in response to a major development at the front and adding a sole Ukrainian voice at the last minute doesn’t cut it either. This box-ticking approach is unhelpful and insulting.

Most if not all of the quotes I pull from human-interest stories are from Ukrainian journalism. If you've been following me for the short time I've had this blog up, you'll notice I read a lot. At this point I've given up on looking up Western based English media, because the core stories that define the war are just not there. If there is an interesting article from the West, I'll usually see it pop up on my Twitter feed (like the botanical garden story) and I'll take a look then because its been recommended and has what I'm looking for.

And finally, Western media can't let go of having some Russian expert talk about Ukraine, instead of actually talking to Ukrainians.

Kate from Kharkiv: Ukrainian media, both in Ukrainian and English, must improve their regional reporting. They are increasingly resembling local Kyiv media, which limits global awareness of events across Ukraine. Consequently, international media rarely cover these regions unless we die en mass. But not too often, because if often it is not news anymore.

Like Kate from Kharkiv points out, mass-casualty events are no longer "fashionable". She further indicates the lack of essential reporting in specific regions where conditions are different from Kyiv. One such example is the Russians turning Kherson into a "human safari". Initially, only Zarina Zabrisky was reporting on how Russian drones pilots were deliberately targeting civilians, and she shouldn't have to be the only one reporting on this. While there are some Western news outlets that have reported on this situation now, it's still not enough. Zarina Zabrisky is still diligently doing the bulk of the work in reporting on this. I can only imagine what other stories in other regions are going untold because there is little to no coverage.

The other obstacle I've noticed is accessibility to news in Ukraine from a language perspective. There isn't enough English language coverage from Ukrainian media outlets. While I would love to be able to read Ukrainian confidently, I'm nowhere near there yet, and the West is collectively even further away. Google translate isn't a great substitute either for obvious reasons. The number of times I wanted to read/watch a news report, and there was no English supplement is a lot. It happens frequently with the English language Ukrainian news accounts I follow. They'll post a clip from a news report with no translated subtitles and say, "look at this!", but I can't extract the information they want to show because of this problem.

This is why I hold volunteer translators as some of the most valuable contributors in the information space, and I will always credit them.

It's a vicious cycle. If a large proportion of Ukrainian news media is inaccessible to Western media due to the language barrier, information has even less of a chance of being noticed and spreading. This is, in my opinion, the other side of the coin on issues in the information war.

[dresshistorynerd]

European history is not white

Someone commented this to a post I reblogged, which message is basically "we shouldn't venerate the Dead White Man HistoryTM and we should elevate other history too, but we still need to learn Dead White Man HistoryTM to understand the world today". It's basically a response to the attitude you sometimes come across in the internet that sees learning about those Dead White MenTM as not worth our time. And this person, who seems to be following this blog because they responded to my reblog, takes it as a personal attack against all white Europeans. For some reason. Well I take these comments as a personal attack against historical understanding.

Firstly, the post clearly didn't say you shouldn't venerate any European history, because not all European history is Dead White Man HistoryTM. Obviously this person thinks European history is white, which is not true, but surely, surely, they know it's not all men? Secondly, what is "west culture"? When did it start? There is not one western culture, not one European culture. The first concept of some shared Europeanness was the Christendom in Middle Ages, but it was not exactly the same as we think of Europe today, because it did not include the pagan areas, but it included a lot of Levant and parts of Central Asia, where there were large Christian areas. And Europe was not "very white" nor was the Christendom. The more modern concept of West was cooked in tandem with race and whiteness during colonial era and Enlightenment, around 17th to 18th centuries. And Europe was certainly not very white then. The western world also includes a lot of colonized areas, so that's obviously not white history. Thirdly, implying that asking white people to apologize for European history (which no one did ask) is as ridiculous as asking black people for African history is... a choice. Black people do exist in a lot of other places than Africa, which white people should be the ones apologizing for, and really white people also have a lot to answer for about African history. Lastly, if you think the quote "anyone who thinks those dead white guys are aspirational is a white supremacist" means you as an European are demanded to apologize for your existence, maybe - as we say in Finland - that dog yelps, which the stick clanks. (I'm sorry I think I'm the funniest person in the world when I poorly translate Finnish sayings into English.)

The thing is, there is no point in European history, when Europe was white, for three reasons. 1) Whiteness was invented in 17th century and is an arbitrary concept that has changed it's meaning through time. 2) Whichever standard you use, historical or current, Europe still has never been all or overwhelmingly white, because whiteness is defined as the in-group of colonialists, and there has always been the internal Other too. In fact the racial hierarchy requires an internal Other. 3) People have always moved around a lot. The Eurasian steppe and the Mediterranean Sea have always been very important routes of migration and trade. I've been meaning to make a post proving exactly that to people like this, since as I've gathered my collection of primary images of clothing, I've also gathered quite a lot of European primary images showing non-white people, so I will use this opportunity to write that post.

So let's start from the beginning. Were the original inhabitants of Europe white? Of course not. The original humans had dark skin so obviously first Europeans had dark skin. Whenever new DNA evidence of dark skinned early Europeans come out (like this study), the inevitable right-wing backlash that follows is so interesting to me. Like what did you think? Do you still believe the racist 17th century theories that white people and people of colour are literally different species? I'm sure these people will implode when they learn that studies (e.g. this) suggest in fact only 10 000 years ago Europeans had dark skin, and even just 5 000 years ago, when Egypt (an many others) was already doing it's civilization thing, Europeans had brown skin (another source). According to the widely accepted theory, around that time 5 000 years ago the Proto-Indo-European language developed in the Pontic-Caspian steppe, which extends from Eastern Europe to Central Asia. These Proto-Indo-Europeans first migrated to Anatolia and then to Europe and Asia. Were they white? Well, they were probably not light skinned (probably had brown skin like the other people living in Europe around that time), the Asian branch of Indo-European peoples (Persians, most Afghans, Bengalis, most Indians, etc.) are certainly not considered white today and a lot of the people today living in that area are Turkic and Mongolic people, who are also not considered white. I think this highlights how nonsensical the concept of race is, but I don't think Proto-Indo-Europeans would have been considered white with any standard.

Around Bronze Age light skin became common among the people in Europe, while in East Asia it had become wide spread earlier. This does not however mark the point when "Europe became white". During the Bronze Age there was a lot of migration back and forth in the Eurasian steppe, and the early civilizations around Mediterranean did a lot of trade between Europe, Africa and Asia, which always means also people settling in different places to establish trading posts and intermarrying. There were several imperial powers that also stretched to multiple continents, like the briefly lived Macedonian Empire that stretched from Greece to Himalayas and Phoenicians from Levant, who didn't built an empire but settled in North Africa, Sicily and Iberia. In Iron Age the Carthaginian Empire, descendants of Phoenician settlers in current Tunisia, build an Empire that spanned most of the western Mediterranean coast. Their army occupying that area included among others Italic people, Gauls, Britons, Greeks and Amazigh people.

Iron Age also of course saw the rise of the Roman Republic, and later empire, but it was preceded by Etruscans, who populated Tuscan, and possibly preceded the Indo-European presence. However, weather through trade and migration with other Mediterraneans or the continuing presence of darker skin tones of the early Europeans, their art quite often depicts darker skin tones too, like seen below in first two images. Roman Empire at it's height spanned from Babylonia to the British Isles. They recruited soldiers from all provinces and intentionally used stationed them in different areas so they wouldn't be too sympathetic to possible rebels or neighboring enemies. Historical sources mention black Nubian soldiers in British Isles for example. They also built a lot of infrastructure around the empire to ensure protection and easy transportation through trade routes inside the empire. During this time Jewish groups also migrated from Levant to both North-Africa and Europe. Rome even had non-European emperors, like Septimius Severus who originated from Levant and was Punic (descendants of Phoenicians) from his father's side, and who was depicted with darker skin (third picture below). Various ethnicities with differing skin tones are represented all over Roman art, like in the fourth picture below from hunting lodge in Sicily.

Eurasian steppe continued to be important source of migration and trade between Europe and Asia. Scythians, Iranic nomadic people, were important for facilitating the trade between East Asia and Europe through the silk road during the Iron Age. They controlled large parts of Eastern Europe ruling over Slavic people and later assimilating to the various Slavic groups after loosing their political standing. Other Iranic steppe nomads, connected to Scythian culture also populated the Eurasian steppe during and after Scythia. During the Migration Period, which happened around and after the time of Western Rome, even more different groups migrated to Europe through the steppe. Huns arrived from east to the Volga region by mid-4th century, and they likely came from the eastern parts of the steppe from Mongolian area. Their origins are unclear and they were either Mongolic, Turkic or Iranic origin, possibly some mix of them. Primary descriptions of them suggests facial features common in East Asia. They were possibly the nomadic steppe people known as Xiongnu in China, which was significant in East and Central Asia from 3rd century BCE to 2nd century CE until they moved towards west. Between 4th and 6th centuries they dominated Eastern and Central Europe and raided Roman Empire contributing to the fall of Western Rome.

After disintegration of the Hun Empire, the Huns assimilated likely to the Turkic arrivals of the second wave of the Migration Period. Turkic people originate likely in southern Siberia and in later Migration period they controlled much of the Eurasian steppe and migrated to Eastern Europe too. A Turkic Avar Khagenate (nation led by a khan) controlled much of Eastern Europe from 6th to 8th century until they were assimilated to the conquering Franks and Bulgars (another Turkic people). The Bulgars established the Bulgarian Empire, which lasted from 7th to 11th in the Balkans. The Bulgars eventually adopted the language and culture of the local Southern Slavic people. The second wave of Migration Period also saw the Moor conquest of Iberia and Sicily. Moors were not a single ethnic group but Arab and various Amazigh Muslims. Their presence in the Iberian peninsula lasted from 8th to 15th century and they controlled Sicily from 9th to 11th century until the Norman conquest. During the Norman rule though, the various religious and ethnic groups (which also included Greeks and Italic people) continued to live in relative harmony and the North-African Muslim presence continued till 13th century. Let's be clear that the Northern Europe was also not white. Vikings also got their hands into the second wave migration action and traveled widely to east and west. Viking crews were not exclusively Scandinavians, but recruited along their travels various other people, as DNA evidence proves. They also traded with Byzantium (when they weren't raiding it) and Turkic people, intermarried and bought slaves, some of which were not white or European. A Muslim traveler even wrote one of the most important accounts of Vikings when encountering them in Volga.

By this point it should already be clear that Medieval Europe was neither white, but there's more. Romani people, who originate from India and speak Indo-Aryan language, arrived around 12th century to Balkans. They continued to migrate through Europe, by 14th century they were in Italy, by 15th century in Germany and by 16h century in Britain and Sweden. Another wave of Romani migration from Persia through North-Africa, arrived in Europe around 15th century. Then there's the Mongol Empire. In 13th century they ruled very briefly a massive portion of the whole Eurasian continent, including the Eastern Europe. After reaching it's largest extent, it quickly disintegrated. The Eurasian Steppe became the Golden Horde, but lost most of the Eastern-Europe, except Pontic-Caspian Steppe. They ruled over Slavs, Circissians, Turkic groups and Finno-Ugric groups till early 15th century. The Mongolian rulers assimilated to the Turkic people, who had been the previous rulers in most of the steppe. These Turkic people of the Golden Horde came to be known as Tatars. Golden Horde eventually split into several Tatar khagenates in 15th century, when the khagenates, except the Crimean Khagenate, were conquered by the Tsardom of Moscovy. Crimean Khagenate was annexed by the Russian Empire in 1783. Crusades were a movement from Europe to Levant, but they also meant intermarriage in the the Crusader kingdoms especially between the European and Levant Christians, and some movement back and froth between these kingdoms and Europe, trade and a lot of movement back after the Crusader kingdoms were defeated in 13th century. Generally too trade across the Mediterranean sea was extensive and led to migration and intermarriage.

And here's some example of people of colour in Medieval European art, shown as part of the majority white European societies. First is from a 15th century French manuscript depicting Burgundy court with dark skin courtier and lady in waiting. Second one is from a Flemish manuscript from 15th century of courtiers, including a black courtier, going for a hunt. Third is a 15th century Venetian gondolier with dark skin.

In Renaissance Era Europe was only increasing it's trade and therefore had even more connections outside Europe. The first picture below is Lisbon, which had strong trade relationship with Africa, depicted in late 16th century. People with darker skin tones were part all classes. Second image is an Italian portrait of probably a seamstress from 16th century. Third one is a portrait of one of the personal guards of the Holy Roman Emperor. Fourth image is a portrait of Alessandro de' Medici, duke of Florence, who was noted for his brown complexion, and the modern scholarly theory is that his mother was a (likely brown) Italian peasant woman.

Colonialism begun in the Renaissance Era, but the wide spread colonial extraction and slavery really got going in the 17th century. Racial hierarchy was developed initially to justify the trans-Atlantic slave trade specifically. That's why the early racial essentialism was mostly focused on establishing differences between white Europeans and black Africans. Whiteness was the default, many theories believed humans were originally white and non-whites "degenerated" either through their lives (some believed dark skin was basically a tan or a desease and that everyone was born white) or through history. Originally white people included West-Asians, some Central-Asians, some North-Africans and even sometimes Indigenous Americans in addition to Europeans. The category of white inevitably shrank as more justifications for atrocities of the ever expanding colonial exploitation were required. The colonial exploitation facilitated development of capitalism and the industrial revolution, which led to extreme class inequality and worsening poverty in the European colonial powers. This eventually became an issue for the beneficiaries of colonialism as worker movements and socialism were suddenly very appealing to the working class.

So what did the ruling classes do? Shrink whiteness and give white working classes and middle classes justifications to oppress others. Jews and Roma people had long been common scapegoats and targets of oppression. Their oppression was updated to the modern era and racial categories were built for that purpose. The colonial powers had practiced in their own neighborhoods before starting their colonial projects in earnest and many of those European proto-colonies were developed to the modern colonial model and justified the same way. In 19th century, when racial pseudoscience was reaching it's peak, Slavs, others in Balkan, the Irish (more broadly Celts), Sámi (who had lost their white card very early), Finns, Southern Italians, the Spanish, the Southern French and Greeks all were considered at least not fully white. The Southern Europeans and many Slavs were not even colonized (at least in the modern sense, though with some cases like Greeks it's more complicated than that), but they looked too much and were culturally too similar to other non-white Mediterraneans, and they were generally quite poor. In many of these cases, like Italians, the French and Slavs, it was primarily others belonging in the same group, who were making them into second class citizens. All this is to highlight how very malleable the concept of race is and that it's not at all easy to define the race of historical people.

However, even if we would go with the racial categories of today, Europe was still far from being all white in this period. You had Roma, who certainly are not included in whiteness today, and European Jews, whose whiteness is very conditional, descendants of Moors in Southern Europe and Tatars and Turks in Eastern Europe and Turkey, which today is often not thought of as part of Europe, but historically certainly was. And then colonialism brought even more people into Europe forcibly, in search of work because their home was destroyed or for diplomatic and business reasons. There were then even more people of colour, but they were more segregated from the white society. Black slaves and servants are very much represented in European art from 17th century onward, but these were not the only roles non-white people in Europe were in, which I will use these examples to show. First is a Flemish portrait of Congo's Emissary, Dom Miguel de Castro, 1643. Second is a 1650 portrait of a Moorish Spanish man Juan de Pareja, who was enslaved by the artist as artisanal assistant, but was freed and became a successful artist himself. Third is a 1768 portrait of Ignatius Sancho, a British-African writer and abolitionist, who had escaped slavery as a 20-year-old. Fourth painting is from 1778 of Dido Elizabeth Belle, a British gentlewoman born to a slave mother who was recognized as a legitimate daughter by her father, and her cousin. The fifth portrait is of an unknown woman by (probably) a Swiss painter from late 18th century. Sixth is a 1760s Italian portrait of a young black man.

In late 18th century England abolished slavery in British Isles first, then in early 19th century in the whole British Empire, thanks to the continuous campaign of free Black people and some white allies, notably Quakers. Around the same time slavery was abolished in France (briefly till Napoleon got to power) after the French revolution. This meant there were a lot more free black people in Europe after that. In 18th century the Europeans, British especially, were colonizing Asia as much they could, which meant that in 19th century there started to also be a lot more Asian, especially Indian people in Europe. First picture below is of Thomas Alexander Dumas, who was son of a black slave woman and a white noble French man and became a general in the French revolutionary army. His son was one of the most well-known French authors, Alexander Dumas, who wrote The Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers. Second portrait is of Jean-Baptiste Belley, a Senegalese former slave, who became French revolutionary politician. Third portrait is from 1810 of Dean Mahomed, an Indian-British entrepreneur, who established the first Indian restaurant in London. Forth is Arab-Javanese Romantic painter Saleh Syarif Bustaman, who spend years in Europe. Fifth is a 1862 photo of Sara Forbes Bonnetta, originally named Aina, princess of Edbago clan of Yoruba, who was captured into slavery as a child, but later freed and made Queen Victoria's ward and goddaughter. She married a Nigerian businessman, naval officer and statesman, James Pinson Labulo Davies (sixth picture).

So any guesses on at what point was that "very white Europe" when the "west culture" begun? It kinda seems to me that it never actually existed.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

A while ago I read The Flame Imperishable: Tolkien, St. Thomas, and the Metaphysics of Faerie, which was a very good read (though confusing and I probably missed a lot, as I have no background in philosophy). It’s focused largely on the Ainulindalë and how it relates to Christian (specifically Thomistic) theology on the nature of God, creation, angels, amd the problem of evil.

One of the things that’s odd to me, though, is that while it comares and contrasts Tolkien’s (implicit) philosophy with Aquinas’ and also with various schools of Greek philosophy, Zoroastrian-derived Manichaeism, etc., and makes a case that Tolkien’s metaphysics is overally more in line with Aquinas than the other ones, it seems to never mention Norse/Old English beliefs about creation and evil.

Amd I don’t think is is about a disregard for non-Christian philosophies from the author – like I said, it brings in Greek and Zoroastrian philosophies. And additionally, I’ve got a big textbook (never managed to finish reading it) that’s a summary of the various schools of Western Philosophy over time, and it mentions nothing abput these either – so I think The Flame Imperishable leaving them out is not about religion but about what is defined as philosophy by philosophers.

And sure, maybe the Norse and Old English weren’t calling themselves metaphysicians, but they still had a worldview and a cosmology, they still had thoughts and ideas about creation and evil. And if your book is asking “what were the principle inspirations for how Tolkien wrote about the nature of Eru and creation and angelic beings and the nature of evil in his legendarium,” it seems like inspirations deriving from the culture that Tolkien spent most of his life studying deserve at least a mention.

Just. There seems to be a bit of a divide between “the study of philosophy as a scholarly discipline” and “the study of different ways that humans have thought about fundamental aspects of the world over the years”, and that seems to leading to a pretty important omission here. I get that there are other books on that topic and you’re allowed to have other focuses, but some kind of mention of the scholarship around that seems warranted as context.

[hanzajesthanza]

New Witcher video essay!

Unraveling The Witcher Books' Biggest Problem

In this new mini-series of essays, I will explore the successes and challenges of how The Witcher was brought into English.

This first episode will tackle the complicated intertwining of the Witcher books and games as they were marketed towards the Western market:

How has the market perception of the Witcher books been fundamentally defined by their joint arrival alongside the games? Why have so many been misled to believe that the books were written after the games, or "based on the games"? What is the fate of the Witcher books in English, when the majority perception of what "Witcher" is has been defined by the third game and the Netflix series? In this essay, we will begin to examine these questions and more.

Oh, and as "brevity is the soul of wit" ...

It's only an hour long this time around :)

[lunarubra]

Hey guys, is someone still here? :) sorry for taking so long to finally wrap my head around and write this chapter. Let's say I had a couple of hectic and intense months. I leave you with this fluffy chapter, I finally have some of my creativity back and many ideas about later chapters floating around. Can wait to put them down! Hope you enjoy this and see you at the next one :) comments really make me happy...

Pairing: Cillian x OC (Jiyan Fabris)

Summary: A cute evening spent together with something always happening.

Warning: English not my First Language, Fluff.

Words: 3850

Previous ◼︎ Next | Masterlist

Part 8 - A Ray of Light in the Waves

Jiyan let out a deep moan of satisfaction before she could control herself, causing Cillian, seated across from her, to arch an eyebrow with an amused grin.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Jiyan didn’t even care that she was being ridiculous; she was in heaven, and not even his teasing could distract her from the dessert in front of her.

“I’m so in love with this bread pudding that nothing you say could taint our love. It’s official, Murphy, whatever we had is over. My new lover is whoever created this delicious art. You have to go, unfortunately,” she said with serious resolution.

They were in Cork for a long weekend since Jiyan had concluded and submitted her research to her department a few days before, immediately freeing up her schedule. After assisting a professor and completing necessary paperwork for the publication, she found herself with ample free time. While the initial days were dedicated to the ongoing renovation of her living studio, Cillian had plans for his sister's birthday celebration in Cork, so he proposed a long weekend in the western part of Ireland, where she had never been.

They left Thursday morning for a quiet day at the beach, savouring a long walk along the coast under the warmer weather and a rare sunny day in Ireland. Jiyan brought her old analog camera and had fun experimenting with it, capturing moments despite a reluctant Cillian being her primary subject. As the day turned to evening, they went to their booked cosy room at a B&B closer to Cork city, opting for a quiet night in.

Jiyan had heard that Cillian's parents were lovely people, but given that they were still in the early stages of their ‘whatever they had going on’, they chose to prioritise their own dynamic before introducing others into the mix. They hadn’t explicitly discussed their status, finding themselves so immersed in the moment that they didn’t think about how to present their relationship outside their little bubble. For now, this approach allowed them to enjoy each other's company without the pressures of defining or explaining their connection to the outside world, even if Cillian was feeling a bit uneasy about it.

The day that began with an unexpected visit from Cillian's sister and ended with them spending the entire day in bed marked the onset of a phase where they were practically inseparable, constantly wrapped up in each other. They seemed to exist in a bubble of their own making. Meeting the Murphy family that weekend promised to be an interesting experience; she really didn’t know what to expect. Unlike with Kareem, she never had to meet the family. She was his sister’s best friend, and his parents already preferred her, at least then. However, with Samyah’s death, they were enduring unimaginable pain, making it understandably difficult to be as warm with her as they were before. Jiyan couldn't really blame them, given the circumstances.

“Whatever we had?” Cillian asked her, amused, drawing her attention back to him.

Jiyan looked at him and then teased him, “Are you asking me what my intentions are? Shouldn’t that be my role? To ask your goals through my fragile and feminine person?”

He shook his head, a faint smile forming as he glanced around at the other tables. The restaurant he'd chosen was a step up from her usual spots, his favorite vegetarian place in Ireland. Being the thoughtful man he was, he'd called ahead to arrange a vegan menu just for her. To her surprise, the restaurant went above and beyond, offering a six-course vegan menu that left her rethinking her perceptions of Irish cuisine and their skills in the kitchen. It wasn’t just the land of potatoes.

"I don’t think any stereotypical role could define you, Jiyan," he said, a smirk tugging at his lips. "And you're anything but fragile. As for being feminine, well, I have many recent memories to prove that some parts of you are indeed feminine," he added, his tone teasing.

She made a face, cringing a little at his attempt at a joke. “If this is your attempt at flirting, Cill, you might want to step up your game, that was bad. You're not exactly convincing me to ditch you for the chef of this restaurant,” she said, smiling.

“No one is stopping you,” he replied, softening his tone, “but well… we really never talked about it,” a hint of red tinged his cheeks as if he struggled to articulate his thoughts.

“Talked about running away with the chef of this restaurant?” she joked.

“Jiyan...” he breathed out, a little exasperated.

Jiyan set aside her dessert momentarily, meeting his gaze. He wore a light blue shirt, its sleeves rolled up to reveal his forearms. The colour accentuated the blue of his eyes, while his tousled dark hair added to his allure. It was amusing how unaware he was of his appearance, how heads turned whenever he entered a room and he couldn’t be more obvious. She couldn't be certain if it was due to his acting career or simply his presence—likely a combination of both. But now, he looked at her expectantly, a touch nervous.

“Talking about your intentions regarding me?” she asked, her tone light but her expression serious, conveying more gravity to the conversation than their usual banter.

“You're meeting my family tomorrow and…”

“I don’t need to come if you feel it’s too early, Cill. Really, I completely understand. It’s your sister's birthday and this,” she gestured between them, taking his hand on the table in hers “well, this is quite new,” she finished.

“No, no…” he interjected, squeezing gently her hand back, thankful for the contact. “I wouldn't have asked you to come for these days if I didn’t want you to meet them. I'm happy you're here. I'm just wondering, are we in a relationship?”

“I think so, at least I feel we are, right? It feels…”

“Right, it feels right,” he concluded for her.

“Yeah,” she said with a soft smile, intertwining her fingers with his. “And, well, we didn’t become a couple in the most conventional way, but it’s only up to us. And I'm happy to share this with you.”

“So tomorrow, can I call you—gosh, I feel like I'm in high school again—my girlfriend?” he asked, blushing and briefly avoiding her gaze.

She laughed at his awkwardness before looking at him tenderly. “Yeah, I would be happy if you called me your girlfriend, Mr. Murphy.”

“Well, that wasn’t awkward at all,” he joked.

“You are a very awkward person, Murphy,” she teased, “Now, can I go back to enjoying the first real affair I’m going to have in our relationship? This bread pudding deserves my complete attention.”

He snorted at her antics, releasing her hand and resting his on her thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as he enjoyed the sight of his girlfriend perhaps enjoying her dessert a little too much.

Their bubble was interrupted by a new voice. “Have you eaten your greens this time, Cillian?”

An older woman, dressed in a kitchen uniform, appeared at their table, wearing a gentle smile.

“As always, as always.” he replied looking up at her, “Everything was delicious, thank you. Jiyan is in love with your bread pudding, Ava,” he said with a grin.

Jiyan, who had finished her dessert by the time Ava arrived and was still looking at her empty bowl with sorrow, now shared a smile with him before addressing the newcomer.

“Really, everything was amazing and delicious. Thank you for adapting your menu and making it vegan for tonight. I think I’ve never had this kind of experience.”

“It was no issue, dear. I am always happy to challenge myself, especially for this one, so really no problem. I’ll leave you two to it. Hope to see you both again,” she said kindly, giving Cillian's shoulder a pat. 

Cillian smiled again, watching the older woman walking to another table, greeting other guests. “Still sure you want to leave me here and run away with your new lover?” he teased her.

“If only she would have me…” she said with fake sadness. “I’m already in love with her cooking; it would not take long to completely fall in love with her.”

Cillian looked at her curiously, an unasked question written on his face.

“Yeah Cillian, it would not be a problem if my new affair was with a woman,” she explained.

“So…” he asked uncertainty.

“I never put a label on it, but I am attracted to both men and women. Always have,” she continued, observing his interested expression. “Come on, ask the question every man asks when he meets a woman attracted to other women.”

“Nope, thanks. We are in a public place and my imagination is already going places I should not think of in a public restaurant,” he replied, a slight blush colouring his cheeks.

“I still don’t understand why men are attracted to lesbian sex,” she pondered without preamble, as if she weren't talking about sex in a public restaurant in a very Catholic country. At a table close to them, an older woman side-eyed Jiyan, outraged. Jiyan either didn't notice or chose to ignore her and continued, “It’s the only sex where there is a strict rule of no penises involved. Shouldn't it be a turn-off since no man can participate?” she pondered.

Ignoring the older lady who was sending glares at them, he just looked at Jiyan with a shocked expression, as if she weren’t grasping some obvious fact, like the Earth circling around the sun or the rainy weather in Ireland.

“Nope, not gonna explain that. There would be no right answer,” he replied, then changed the topic to distract her with food, always a winning point. “Have you finished mourning the loss of your pudding?”

“Yup, even if we need to come back here. Maybe we should make it a weekly appearance; I have to cultivate this affair of mine,” she said in a mock-mourning tone. “I am ready to go if you are. And this dinner is my treat; thank you for bringing me here. It was an amazing evening,” she smiled, getting her wallet from her bag.

“What? No way…” he tried to resist.

“Ah, don’t argue, Murphy; I won’t change my mind, and it would not go well for you. I am much more convincing than you are. You invited me to this relaxing weekend, something that I really needed, showing me another part of Ireland, so this is my way to thank you too and try to give you back some of it. Thank you, Cill,” she said calmly, taking out her credit card and ending the discussion. Cillian looked flustered; it made her smile how difficult it was to thank and compliment Irish people.

“There was really no need, but thank you,” he started uncertainly, then added with more conviction. His eyes softened, remembering her last words, a tender smile gracing his lips as he took her hands again in his. “I am happy to be here with you too," he replied softly, his voice carrying a warmth that matched the glow of the restaurant.

A waiter swiftly approached to handle the bill, and after settling it, they stepped back outside into the crisp evening air, their denim jackets providing a cosy barrier against the chill. They walked hand in hand for a few steps until Jiyan turned to slip her hands into his pockets, drawing closer to him for a kiss. What began as a simple gesture of affection quickly deepened into something slightly more passionate than either of them were comfortable with in a public space, with Cillian pulling her close, his hands finding their place on her waist.

As they parted, breathless and smiling, Jiyan looked up at him with bright eyes. “Thank you again for this long weekend and for being here. I really needed it,” she said, her voice filled with genuine gratitude.

Cillian's gaze softened even further as he brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, his touch gentle and comforting. “I am happy to be here with you too,” he replied, his words carrying a depth of sincerity that mirrored the affection in his eyes. Lost in their bubble of shared intimacy, they exchanged another sweet smile, oblivious to the world around them as they basked in the warmth of their connection.

“Wait, is that Cillian Murphy?!?” a young voice, with a strong American accent startled them. Cillian stopped gazing deeply at Jiyan to turn around and position himself between her and two teenage girls heading their way.

“Are you?! Are you Cillian Murphy? From Batman? The scarecrow?” one of them asked him, her energy palpable as she practically bounced with excitement. Jiyan, initially startled by the sudden interruption, now struggled to contain her amusement, stifling giggles behind her hand while Cillian tensed, his back muscles stiffening.

“Ehmm.. yeah, it’s me,” he responded somewhat awkwardly, still keeping his focus on shielding Jiyan from the girls.

“Can we take a photo with you, please? My sister would never believe I met you!” the other girl chimed in, her enthusiasm tempered by a touch of shyness.

“Oh, no, sorry. I don’t take pictures, but thank you for watching the movie, it’s nice to meet you both” he replied kindly.

“Oh, please? We loved you as Scarecrow; we have your poster at home!” The girl's compliment caused Cillian to subtly fight off a blush, a task made all the more challenging with Jiyan standing beside him.

“Yeah, sorry, I never let people take pictures but thank you for the support, I really appreciate it.” His polite refusal delivered, Cillian attempted to gracefully extricate them from the situation, though he couldn't shake the slight discomfort of being recognized in public, especially with Jiyan by his side.

As they turned to leave, one of the girls shyly held out a postcard featuring the coast of Cork. “Could you sign this for us, then?” she asked, a hopeful smile on her face.

Cillian's expression softened, and he nodded, taking the proffered postcard and quickly scrawling his signature across the front. “Of course, here you go. Have a wonderful evening,” he said warmly, handing it back to them before turning to Jiyan with a sheepish grin, relieved to have navigated the encounter with minimal awkwardness.

The two teenagers, wearing big smiles, said their goodbyes and then turned around, though Jiyan could swear she heard one of them whisper, “Do you think she was his girlfriend?”

As soon as she felt they were at a safe distance, Jiyan stopped biting her cheek, trying to repress her laughter but ultimately letting out a series of giggles. Cillian turned to her with a defeated expression, sighing.

“Come on, let’s hear it,” he said, looking at her amused expression.

“Can I have one of those posters, Mr. Murphy?” she teased.

“Oh, shut up…”

“I've been a fan for so long, please take a picture with me.”

“You're just jealous,” he retorted, amusement evident in his voice.

“Of course, I also want to be adored by teenagers with my poster in their room,” she replied, taking his hand as they continued walking.

“I am not…”

“Oh, it looks like you really are. I really have to watch those Batman movies, then I’m going to buy a poster too.”

He groaned, hoping to divert her attention. “Now I’m curious, what did little Jiyan have as posters growing up? Some old crush from movies?” he asked, then noticed her avoidance of eye contact and the slight stiffening of her posture. “Oh, you did. What did small Jiyan have in her room?”

“I remind you that the first ten years I grew up on a boat. Really not a lot of movies or telly in the middle of the sea. But yeah, my father brought me to a lot of concerts. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” she countered.

“Let’s hear it,” he said with curiosity, imagining a young Jiyan getting her first crush at a concert.

“Okay, well. It was one of the first concerts I had seen. For a period after my parents’ separation, my father worked as a carpenter in a company that built concert stages, and while he was working could let me come to some concerts without paying for a ticket. He was such a fan of Pearl Jam, and in '92 they came to Italy for the first time. So, luckily, his team was the one building up and dismantling the stage, so he could let me come too."

Jiyan paused, smiling at the memory. "I think at the time it was the only way he could think to interact with me; my brother was still too young and it wasn't really easy for him to spend time with us. He was often away.” she said more softly, “So, anyway, I went to the concert, I was in the front row, having the time of my life with my dad. At the end of the show, my dad had to go around the stage, to dismantle the setup and he managed to get a poster of the concert from somewhere, I don’t remember."

She continued, her eyes shining in the night, remembering the old memory. "Just as we were leaving, my dad saw their guitarist around and asked him in a super broken English if he could sign the poster for me. The guitarist was super nice and, when he saw little ten-year-old me, he called the whole band over and they all signed the poster. Eddie Vedder even gave me the signed setlist of the concert, writing ‘to the youngest fan, hope to see you grow with our songs.’ Let’s just say I became a super Pearl Jam fan from that moment.”

She finished with a smile, then quickly added, “They’re playing in Venice this summer, and I'm trying to get my hands on a couple of tickets, there will also be Ben Harper” attempting to change the subject.

“Wait a moment, you were ten, you went to a Pearl Jam concert, and you even had the chance to meet the band?!” he said, raising his voice slightly.

“Well meeting is a big word, they stayed a couple of minutes, but were all really nice”

“Fuck off…”

“Jealous, Murphy?”

“Of meeting an international rock band at 10? Yeah! Of you having a crush on Eddie Vedder? No. Not sure I wouldn’t have had one if I was in your place.” He added, “But it’s super cute imagining small, sweet you having a crush on a bad-boy lead singer.” He teased her.

“Shut up! Eddie Vedder wasn’t a bad boy. He is an incredible musician, really incredible singer. You should know, Mr. I-was-in-a-band. He was very active in social movements and an incredible writer too,” she defended. “Now that I've told you mine, it’s only fair; what was yours?” she inquired.

“Nothing as exciting as your story. When I was 10, my parents didn’t bring me to rock concerts. It was church on Sunday and eventually traditional Irish live music at the pub, with me sleeping under the table. But I was a Beatles and Frank Zappa fanatic, sharing the room with my brother, so we had a couple of posters of them, that’s all,” he told her without skipping a beat.

“Oh, come on, you are cheating. I’m sure you had other kinds of posters hidden somewhere and at least a celebrity crush!” she protested.

“I lived in a very Catholic family. Those kinds of posters you are thinking about would never have been found on the wall in my room,” he responded, amused. “And you said nothing about crushes, only about posters,” he replied, chuckling.

“So there were no crushes, no posters, and you prayed to Jesus every night like a good Catholic boy,” she said, taking a break. “Sorry but I hardly believe that…”

“Well…”

“Come on, I know there is something,” she said again.

“Okay,” he sighed, relenting, “Well, it wasn’t when I was 10, but when I was 15 or 16. It was one of the first concerts I went to, the Cranberries. In secret because I wanted to be a hardcore musician, and pop was for losers. I was a stupid teenager at the time, but I still managed to go in secret without all my mates knowing. Just my brother knew I went to their concert in Cork, covering for me. The concert was amazing, and from that moment, I had a huge crush on Dolores O'Riordan. I listened to all their albums in secret until I matured enough to share it with my pals. Apparently I wasn’t the only one listening to the Cranberries in secret.”

Jiyan smiled, “That’s super cute. Your crush could even be possible and happen, even if you were hiding it because it was threatening your macho ego.”

“I assure you, at the time she wouldn't have been interested in a scrawny teenager from Cork. I was super shy,” he chuckled.

“Well, at least she was in Ireland, much more approachable than Seattle for me. But I get it, she would have broken the hardcore musician mask,” she joked.

“You are ridiculous,” he remarked, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, kissing her hair, and breathing in her spicy, sea-salty perfume.

“Yes, we are,” she agreed, looking at him with a smile and kissing him softly.

She felt serene and light, almost like when she floated on the surface of the sea, feeling the waves cradle her. But then that gnawing feeling crept in, the one that always struck when everything seemed perfect. What’s going to happen now? When will the other shoe drop? A surge of panic struck her, making her body go rigid and clench her jaw. She did not want to lose this; she couldn't go through any of it again. Why did her mind always fixate on what could go wrong instead of enjoying the moment?

“All good?” Cillian asked, a hint of worry and surprise in his voice.

“Yeah, sorry,” she nodded, trying to hide her uncertainty as her heartbeat quickened. “Just tired but happy. Come on, let’s go. You still have to show me the pub where you almost got arrested,” she teased him, hoping to distract both herself and him from a conversation she wasn't ready to have. A conversation buried deep within her, sealed off from the world, yet always there, reminding her that all her doubts, hurt, and pain were just below the surface, ignored but not gone.

“I still need to get back at Pad for telling you that…” he grumbled, taking her hand and guiding her through the alleys of Dublin’s centre. He could tell she was just trying to distract him and wasn't sharing everything, but he believed pressing her would be worse than letting things be, for now. He was always ready to be there for her, but he hoped a nice night out would help her enjoy the moment.

Hopefully.

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter. Your feedback, in any form helps me to continue write this story; and comments makes me happy. See you at the next one :)

[rggtattoos]

Are there any that could be used by husband and wife for example dragon and phoenix? Also are spiders ever used? Or wolves?

The dragon and the vermillion bird are associated with masculine and feminine, so they make an excellent pairing for a couple! They complement one another in a lot of ways. I go into detail about the celestial symbols, including Dragon and Vermillion Bird HERE

(note that while some sources will translate the vermillion bird as a pheonix or "chinese pheonix", they are different creatures. Phoenixes are Greecian, and while both are associated with fire, and the cycles of life and death, the vermillion bird lacks the power of rebirth that defines a pheonix. This could just be me being pendantic, since the same could be said of the Ryuu/Long vs the western europian "dragon." It's just as a mythology buff I think it's an important distinction, especially if we are talking about depicting creatures in art.)

You can also look into the many myths and folk tales about love from Japan. There are many. One with a lot of symbolism and imagery is the story of Orihime (the weaver princess) and Hikoboshi (a cow hearder), two lovers that were seperated by their godly parents after they neglected their jobs, distracted by their love. They were placed as stars on opposite sides of the Milky Way. Once a year they reunite when a flock of magpies forms a bridge for them to cross and reunite on the 7th day of the 7th month.

As for spiders and wolves: yes and yes! Both crop up in Japanese folklore quite a bit. Spiders are often associated with seductive women, though there are a few straightforward spider monsters, like the Ushi-oni.

Japanese wolves are near extiction today, but they were once worshiped like many other animals. Japanese wolf species are much smaller than American and European species, and so were less of a threat and more helpful pest control. Some myths still depict them as potentially viscious, like the Senbiki Okami, a pack of 100 intellegent wolves that will form a ladder to catch prey from the trees. Like foxes, cats, and tanuki, wolves could be shape-shifters. They could be protectors or attackers; good luck or harbingers of death.

As always I recomend yokai.com and ukiyo-e.org for researching creatures and designs. They are fantastic, searchable resources that are very accessible to an english-speaking researcher. (not all my resources are! it's a pain!)

[rlyehtaxidermist]

On the topic of fantasy pet peeves, or rather fantasy criticism pet peeves, I see a lot of people make a big deal about "lazy worldbuilding" when a kingdom shares the name of either its ruling dynasty. This isn't exclusively a charge levied against media of East Asian origin, but it certainly shows up there a lot.

Now this was very unusual in medieval Europe. Most European countries are derived from tribal names: the Franks became France, the Danes became Denmark, the Angles became England, the Poles became Poland, et cetera. (Though often with a fair bit of migration.) Many others come from their provincial designations under the rule of larger states: Roman Hispania became España; Habsburg-era "pays d'embas", "lands down there", was translated literally into Dutch as Nederlanden.

Pre-medieval kingdoms - most notably the Merovingian and Carolingian Empires - were referred to by their ruling dynasties, but this came to a pretty significant end because of the Germanic tradition of partitive succession. Lands were divided between the heirs instead of passed to a singular successor, leading to a single dynasty ruling multiple different realms - most notably for Carolingians, who in two generations went from controlling most of Western Europe as a unified Frankish Empire to five kingdoms who were often at war with each other.

Needless to say, the rule of several hostile kingdoms by the same nominal dynasty quickly put the kibosh on any sense of dynastic naming in Europe, and tribal names came to dominate as things were formalised in the medieval period. Not so for much of the rest of the world. (Or Liechtenstein.)

Almost every major Arab state took its name from the ruling dynasty, which spread to many non-Arab Muslim realms such as the Ottoman Empire (named for the ruling House of Osman, also called the Ottomans), the Ghaznavid Empire (ruled by the Ghaznavid dynasty), the Timurid Empire (ruled by, surprising no one, the Timurid dynasty)...

Likewise, China is pretty much exclusively described historically in terms of its dynasties, who traditionally picked a new name for their state and government when they came to power. While there was a general idea of a territorial "China" (Chinese Zhongguo, often translated as "Middle Kingdom"), it was only rarely used compared to the dynastic titles. (As far as I'm aware, only the Qing ever really used it in an official context to refer to themselves, and even then the official name was still "(Great) Qing".)

Indian historiography is a bit split; the Maurya and Gupta Empires are referred to by their dynasty, but also as dynasties of a territorial/tribal Magadha Kingdom. The Pala Empire is solely named for its dynasty, but was the successor state of the Gauda Kingdom, named for its territory.

The Aztecs were primarily defined in terms of their city-states, but the Mayans were split between city names and dynastic ones at the time of the Spanish invasion. (Or at least they seem to be; it's hard to find good sources on the etymology of Mayan principalities in English.)

(I'd put in a note about the Incan Empire as well; "Inca" in Quechua essentially means "king" or "nobleman", so a literal English interpretation of "Incan Empire" would be "Emperor's Empire". The endonym for the Incan Empire translates to something like "union of four provinces", with two of the provinces being ethnonyms and two being directional. One of the directional ones might be both, and it's unclear which came first. Honestly, you could do another post about this just for directional names...)

So yes, "King X of the Kingdom of X" is a completely normal thing. Hell, we have two countries that do it today - Liechtenstein (ruled by the House of Liechtenstein) and Saudi Arabia (ruled by the House of Saud). (Both of them are absolute monarchies.)