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romancingromanoff · 5 years ago

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What Happens At Disney Part 3/3

I know that all of the details aren’t completely accurate to the parks but please enjoy the final installment

Part 1 here//Part 2 here

The Disney workers were so glad that Tony and Bruce fixed the ride that they gave you all free fast passes and you got to skip the line. “You are all welcome. You’re welcome!” Tony was waving and loudly calling out to the crowds. You rolled your eyes at how he always felt the need to fuel his ego but decided against giving him another one of your talks since he had indeed fixed the ride.

The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train was a two person seater ride so naturally you pulled Nat up to the very front to sit next to you. Steve and Clint sat behind you followed by Bruce and Thor, who was very adamant about not letting the workers touch him when they went to pull down the safety bars. Tony got pushed to the back because, truthfully, no one wanted to sit next to him because he wouldn’t shut up about the fact that he had repaired the ride and everyone apparently “owed him,” but he just took it as an opportunity to fill up the entire car by himself. As you were all getting on they called to see if there were any single riders that could sit next to Tony, to which he protested saying that he could sue anyone that accidentally touched his suit, but changed his mind when the first single rider that raised their hand to volunteer turned out to be a very tall, slim, and tan blonde woman wearing super tight booty shorts and a thread of fabric around her chest that you guessed was supposed to be her shirt. “I’ll allow it,” he stated and the bubbly blonde giggled as she sat down and Tony put his arm around her shoulder.

It was a kid’s ride so there weren’t exactly drops big enough to make those butterflies in your stomach fly around at that zero-gravity-like feeling, but you still smiled and laughed as the carts twisted and turned up and down the little hills. Soon you rode into a cave filled with glowing gems and those weird animatronic animals that probably hadn’t been updated since Steve’s time. You all began to slow down as the various forest animals and dwarfs came to life with the music. The creepy glowing eyes of the deer weren’t easy to look over though. Nat made a sour face seeing how robotic they all moved, but you were having an absolute blast.

CLINK! A high pitched ring sounded throughout the cave, echoing off of the walls. It made the poor blonde girl that got put next to Tony almost jump out of her seat. If it weren’t for the safety bars she probably would’ve gone off the side.

“WHAT THE HELL, THOR?!” you screamed at him when you turned around and saw him smashing his hammer into the fake gems and diamonds that were encrusted into the walls.

“You said this was a mine! I’m just trying to get points any way that I can!” he retorted while Bruce had his hands in his head from the headache all of the noise was giving him.

“No, this isn’t that kind of ride, Thor. It is not interactive,” he looked disappointed as you explained it to him and he was silent for the rest of the ride, which was pretty uneventful (meaning that no more property was damaged) except for Clint teasing Steve with questions about what it was like to watch the movie when it first premiered.

After the ride you thought that it would be fun to go visit attractions that the rest of your friends would be interested in. For Clint you headed over to the Toy Story Midway Mania interactive ride where you got spun around a giant toy room and got to shoot various targets and plates. You knew that you were no match for his marksmanship skills, but had fun with the target practice anyway. It wasn’t hard to enjoy yourself when Clint was so into it. He was screaming at Woody, Buzz, and Jessie as they were trying to explain how to work the shooters. “Let us shoot already, damnit!” he yelled in frustration before going on to break all of the high scores.

Steve’s request for a ride was very simple and sweet, much like the person he was. The only thing he really wanted to do at Disney was go on the carousel so you headed back to the Magic Kingdom. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy the other rides, but back in his time the only rollercoasters he got to ride were at Coney Island and were all made out of wood. He just didn’t really understand the concept of interactive rides or super scary thrill ones either. At the carousel you were glad to wind down the pace a little bit and go old school as you all got on your own horses and the ride stirred on with the classic amusement park music.

You had also snuck a bag of popcorn on with you and were going back and forth between throwing pieces up in the air at Thor, Steve, and Clint who tried to catch them in their mouths. It was a little difficult since you were all constantly moving up and down and at different levels, but in the end Clint ended up catching the most.

“Well gentlemen, it has been a pleasure,” he said upon the conclusion of the ride.

“Barton, you are lucky that most of the pieces simply ended up caught in my hair rather than my mouth,” Thor commented as he was picking those same pieces off from his head. “But on any other occasion, I would have bested you.”

“Sure, buddy,” Clint laughed.

You and Nat gave each other a meaningful look and you both laughed at how annoying the boys were being. “You know, I could make this thing go ten times faster if you just give me five minutes with it,” Tony pestered one of the workers trying to get him to let him touch the controls.

“Tony, please, not again,” Bruce moaned and pulled at his sleeve trying to get him away from the obviously intimidated cast members.

“C’mon! I could make it go in reverse too! At least let me change the lights and the music. It could be disco themed! Bruce, I know you love disco.”

“No disco, Tony.”

“YOU CAN’T KILL DISCO!”

“You already tricked out one ride which is enough for today, Handy Manny,” you kill his hopes of messing with anything else right then and there.

“IN THE NAME OF DISCO-”

“TONY, SHE SAID NO!”

“Hey, settle down,” Steve hushed the two squabbling scientist. “There’s a show going on.” In front of the carousel entrance where a fairly large but somewhat unnoticeable rock laid with what appeared to be the handle of a sword sticking out of it, a cast member in purple robes and a giant gray beard was twirling around and gathering all of the little children around him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, which one of you thinks that they are worthy enough to pull this sword out of its stone?” A little boy around the age of 6 wearing a Toy Story cap that looked like Rex the green dinosaur was just about to wrap his hands around the handle when he was suddenly pushed out of the way.

“I am worthy! I AM WORTHY!” Thor yelled which made a couple of babies in strollers automatically start crying. “Hah. Mortals watch and see how a god wields his weapon!”

“Dear Lord, not again,” Nat groaned.

“Hmmmmpffffff!” Thor began pulling but to no avail. “NO, I AM WORTHY,” he told himself and then tried shifting the sword back and forth to shimmy out.

“NO DON’T DO-” the wizard flinched.

“ARGHHH!” SLICE! You threw your head back seeing him break the sword in two right at the handle which almost made the poor wizard guy faint. Thor just stood their awkwardly with the tiny blunt little sword in his hand. “It’s fine I can just-” he tried jamming it back into the rock but was way too forceful so he ended up putting an even larger dent in what was left of it.

“Does anyone have some glue?” Tony casually yelled around while Bruce was trying to hide behind a dip n dots cart mumbling “I don’t know them,” and pretending to be completely oblivious to all of the scared screaming children that had just seen a part of their imagination torn apart.

“I can’t say that I’m not surprised,” Natasha mumbled with her head slightly cocked to one side as she studied the scene. “It could be a really good piece of modern art I guess.”

“Oh no,” Steve flinched in pain at those words. “Please, not again with the modern art,” he cringed just thinking about those strange, abstract sculptures of plain shapes or made of weird materials that people called art these days.

“Well, I need a beer,” Tony piped up trying to think of a solution to cure everyone’s sudden depression.

“Is there a tavern around here?” Thor questioned.

“Yeah, actually, there is a tavern,” you were surprised to remember that there did happen to be a place for them to drink around here. “I think you’ll like it, Thor. It’s very, er… manly.” You smiled only half-sarcastically as you thought back to the Disney villain that owned the place. He had been one of your favorites as a kid despite his tendency to boast about his buffness (which is why you believed you were able to tolerate Tony and Thor) and awfully misogynistic world view. But, that’s Disney for you.

Gaston’s Tavern was a very rustic looking place that sort of tried to be half hunting lodge and half shrine to its namesake Frenchman. Upon approaching an entrance, there was a Gaston actor leaned up against one of the windows and hitting on basically every mom that went in or out. God, it made you sick. It was like he was Tony but without any smarts whatsoever.

“Who the hell is this guy?” Bruce wondered at the sight of him flexing his completely-not-fake-and-made-of-padding biceps.

“Welcome, everyone! Don’t worry, you will all have the chance to meet me, Gaston: the strongest, most handsome, and brave man in all of town. You may applaud,” the airhead was motioning for people to clap and a couple of other employees (not dressed up) responded with some cheers as if to play along.

“You sure that’s not Tony?” Steve whispered to you under his breath which made you smile. You gave him a look and winked at him as if to say, “that was exactly what I was thinking” and rolled your eyes.

“So you claim to be the strongest man around here?” Thor stepped forward a little bit too menacingly with the seriousness of his voice which caused a couple of people around him to gasp just laying their eyes on the perfectly sculpted body of a god. Before it could go anymore out of hand you ran up to him and tried to get his attention.

“Nope, nuh uh, Thor, this is just a guy playing a character; he’s supposed to say those things but he doesn’t really mean them. C’mon, you will break this guy’s arm worse than that fake sword and everyone knows that, so it’s okay because you don’t have to prove anything.” The nervousness in your quivering voice could not have been worse as you saw Thor trying to measure up this poor dude with the fake biceps and wig.

“Character? Pffff,” Gaston played aloof to the danger in the form of a giant Scandinavian looking lumber jack that was right in front of him. “Gaston is the strongest man in town and he isn’t afraid to prove it.”

“Buddy, I’m trying to save your life,” you spit at him.

“How about an old fashioned arm wrestling match?” Natasha suggests and you lightly slap her for encouraging this awful testosterone measuring contest. Thor and Gaston, however, are immediately down for it though you can see the rules of arm-wrestling being a lot different on Asgard which may actually result in this guy’s arm being completely ripped off.

“HOWWWWWW about we let someone else go first, huh?” your voice cracks which makes Natasha smirk. “Weakest goes up against him first, you know? And then Thor is the championship match?”

“Hold on, are you saying that you think Thor is the strongest?” Tony rips of his sunglasses to look you straight in the eyes.

“This isn’t a contest guys; obviously I’m the strongest!” Bruce plays innocent and coy with his shoulders shrugged but you don’t take his hulking out joke too lightly.

“Not when you’re this color you’re not. You’re first,” you shove up towards Gaston who’s had a wooden table pulled out to the front of the tavern just for the occasion. Then Bruce gets a little sweaty realizing that he actually has to put on his best performance and goes to sit across from the smirking playboy villain who’s already got his right elbow up on the table. You can see all of the fake padding under his costume’s sleeve from where you are, but you still aren’t sure how much muscle this guy actually has on his own. He’s fairly broad and definitely looks like he’s the type to have always idolized body builders, yet you still aren’t sure if that means he has a definite win over Bruce.

“Alright gentlemen I want a fair match,” says Nat. “Elbows on the table at all times, and 3, 2, 1-”

It was a pretty evenly matched fight as both men’s fists seemed to keep a nice right angle for the first few moments and none of them had a visible advantage over the other. You could see Bruce’s veins in the side of his face which always made an appearance when he tried to Hulk out, but Gaston also had some pretty good form and was gritting his teeth together as they both tried to exert more and more force against the other. The it seemed like it was bobbling more towards Bruce’s direction and his focus completely shifted to Gaston himself who he showed his teeth like a primate and growled at with a deep Hulk-like rumble in the back of his throat. That must’ve been enough to intimidate the guy because he stumbled with his grip for a second and Bruce took the opportunity to ram his hand into the table and take the win.

“YES! YES! I AM VICTORIOUS!” he screamed going in for a chest bump with Thor who had been chanting Banner’s name the whole time. “What do you think about that, GASTON?!” he and Thor were backing him up into a corner which did not seem like a good idea.

“Gentlemen, please, if we could all just- okay, security!” his voice suddenly switched to that of a your typical New Jersey accent but in a slightly higher pitch as he called for help and all seven of you looked at one another before pushing your way through the crowds to get as far away as possible.

“You know running is just going to bring even more attention to us,” Natasha quipped but you didn’t care about being stealthy at the moment.

“Just go!” you pushed her forward. The last thing you wanted was to be banned from all Disney parks after your first time setting foot in one. Panicking with no ideas on how to cover your tracks, you desperately snapped your fingers together and all of a sudden a grey storm cloud appeared just above Gaston’s Tavern and poured down gallons of water over the immediate area of the crime scene, soaking all the workers and making them slip as you ran off rain-free.

Unfortunately, a little girl about 7 or 8 wearing the same Minnie Mouse ears as you had watched your little trick which left her mouth frozen wide open before she could have taken a bite of her dole whip. You laughed nervously and one shoulder came up to your ear as you played dumb, hoping that she wouldn’t remember any of what she just saw or would ever be taken seriously enough for adults to believe her. “Heh, uh, unpredictable Florida weather, right?” you offered but her expression remained the same.

“I’m sorry, but is she the child or are you?” Natasha grabbed your wrist and pulled you along behind her while she tried to forget that she just saw you trying to reason about your spontaneous weather-changing powers with a kid that probably still wet the bed. “Very smooth, y/l/n.”

“Don’t think I don’t have a cloud specially made for you, Romanoff,” she releases a huff and takes a double take when you stick out your tongue at her but then resumes pulling you along with an even tighter grip.

“Yup, my girlfriend is a complete child,” she mutters to herself.

“SO,” you put on a big wide smile as you turn to Tony and pretend like you didn’t hear her. “Tony, do you have anything you’d like to do that doesn’t involve tampering with Disney property?”

“Actually, yes, there is one guy I’d like to meet. Or, rather, have Banner meet.”

At first you were certain Tony planned to throw Bruce into the It’s A Small World Ride or try setting him up with one of the princesses, but his actual plan was surprisingly pleasant.

“FINALLY! Someone who gets it!” Bruce was over relieved and had threw up his hands.

“Well, yeah, it’s not easy being green, you know?” Kermit the Frog was out sitting on a bench just casually giving out life advice when Tony had ambushed the poor muppet talking all about how Bruce and him had a little green problem in common.

“No, no it isn’t. Thank you so much for saying that!”

“What are you doing?” Natasha leaned in to Tony who had pulled out his phone.

“Oh, I’m recording this for instagram.”

“I mean, first off it just blends into so many things. People always think I’m some sort of walking bush.”

“Wow, people always think I’m a giant tree!”

“What the heck is Tony doing?” you ask as Nat wraps her arm around your waist.

“He’s filming it for instagram,” you laugh before tugging at her shirt to seriously look her in the eyes. “Hey, it’s almost time for the fireworks show. You wanna go somewhere we can be alone?”

“After you,” she offers up her arm which you gladly take while you walk next to her with your head on her shoulder. Moments like these where you could act like a normal couple were what had you hanging onto life for so many years throughout all of the struggles. You had looked forward to, no, dreamed about having someone that loved you for years. And while your relationship with Natasha wasn’t normal as neither of you were normal people, you cherished sharing these simple moments with her.

Bribing the ride operator to stop the ferris wheel when you and Nat reached the very top was so unlike you, but definitely a great decision.

“Isn’t this a little bit unethical?” Natasha criticized your usual goody-two-shoes self. Pink, blue, and white fireworks began shooting off in the distant sky lighting up the cloudless view you had of the horizon and the stars coming into view.

“So are the things I want to do you,” you try to keep a serious face but can’t help but laugh at the raised eyebrow she gives you. Her magnetic pull brings you in closer and soon the fireworks going off are just background noise.

“I adore you,” she whispers just before your lips touch and the real fireworks start to go off, ending the perfect day at the most magical place on earth.

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motownguy61-blog · 7 years ago

Photo

Tiger pitcher Mickey Lolich poses with new teammate Frank Howard on September 1, 1972. Howard is wearing a Lolich jersey because a larger jersey could not be ordered in time for Detroit’s game against the Oakland A’s. Coach Charlie Silvera is in the middle.

Every once in a while, a photograph making the rounds on the Internet will catch my eye. One that I’ve found particularly fascinating is this photograph of Frank Howard, as seen with longtime Tigers ace Mickey Lolich and coach Charlie Silvera. You might do a double take upon noticing that Big Frank is not wearing a uniform with “HOWARD” written on the back of his jersey. Instead, it says “LOLICH.” So why in the world would “Hondo” wear another man’s uniform?

The photograph was taken on September 1, 1972, at the Oakland Coliseum, with the Tigers in the midst of a West Coast swing. The Tigers were playing the A’s shortly after the acquisition of Howard from the Texas Rangers. The Tigers had not yet been able to fit the six-foot, eight-inch, 275-pound Howard with a uniform (after all, how many triple-extra large uniforms does a team keep on hand?), so they were forced to improvise. The Tigers decided that Lolich, always known for his girth, was the Tiger whose bodily dimensions most closely approached that of the massive Howard.

In terms of width, Lolich and Howard had similar builds. (Baseball Reference lists Lolich as 170 pounds, but that is a canard. At his peak, Lolich weighed at least 220 to 240 pounds.) But Howard had him beat in terms of height, as he was seven inches taller than the six-foot, one-inch Lolich. That’s why the uniform looks like such an awkward fit. The Tigers likely had to stretch this polyester road uniform, which they debuted in the middle of the 1972 season, just to give Howard adequate coverage. I think it’s safe to say that this was not exactly the most comfortable fit for the king-sized Howard, who looked more like an offensive lineman than he did a first baseman or outfielder.

Let’s take a closer look at Howard’s transition from Texas to Detroit. The Rangers, hopelessly out of the American League West race, had decided to part ways with the aging Howard, selling him to the Tigers on August 31. Howard reported immediately to the Tigers, joining them for their game on Friday night, September 1, the first of a three-game weekend series against the A’s.

Even though Howard was wearing Lolich’s ill-fitting jersey and pants, Tigers manager Billy Martin put him in the starting lineup right away. With the A’s starting left-hander Ken Holtzman, Martin sat down Norm Cash and put Howard at first base, batting him cleanup. Howard came to bat four times, picking up a single and a walk. He also had a busy day at first base, registering 11 putouts but also making an error on a grounder hit by Matty Alou. The error proved inconsequential in a 4-1 loss to the eventual world champions.

Howard would appear in 13 more games for the Tigers that season. On the surface, he didn’t hit much, with just one home run and a .688 OPS. But a closer look reveals one enormous hit that paid huge dividends. Playing against the Orioles on September 13, Howard blasted a grand slam against veteran left-hander Dave McNally, helping the Tigers to a dramatic 6-5 win over Baltimore. Given that the Tigers would win the pennant by just a half-game over the Red Sox, the home run proved crucial, more than justifying the acquisition of Hondo in a straight-up cash deal.

With the designated hitter rule coming into effect in 1973, the Tigers decided to bring the aging Howard back for an encore. Martin created a platoon of Howard and Gates Brown. Splitting time with “Gator,” Howard showed reasonable power as a DH, hitting 12 home runs in 251 at-bats. But he was now 36 and clearly not the premier slugger he had once been with the Dodgers and Senators. After the 1973 season, the Tigers gave Howard his release. With none of the other American League teams showing much interest, Howard decided to continue his career with the Japanese Leagues, signing with the Taiheiyo Club Lions. But just before Opening Day, Howard hurt his back. Howard played one game in pain before coming to the realization that he could not continue to play. The injury eventually convinced him to call it quits, ending his Japanese career after only the one game.

Over the years, I have read many good things about Howard, about he loved baseball to the extreme, put in hours and hours as a coach and as a manager, and approached his work with an unusual passion. So when I first had a chance to meet Hondo in the 1990s, when he was a coach with the Mets, I was a little bit apprehensive about meeting a man I had come to idolize. I became a little more nerve-wracked standing next to him; although I am six feet, four inches tall, I felt like a lawn gnome standing next to the gargantuan Howard. I now fully understood why he had been called the “Washington Monument” during his years with the Senators.

In contrast, his glasses gave him a genteel look that belied his mammoth stature. More significantly, his gentlemanly, friendly demeanor washed away the intimidation I felt over his size. I became especially impressed with his energy and enthusiasm. It didn’t seem possible for someone so large to have such liveliness, but Howard had it in ample quality. I now had further proof that this man revered the game, loved being at the ballpark, and epitomized what it meant to be a baseball lifer.

Howard is now retired from baseball, which is clearly the game’s loss, but he still manages to do good work in other areas. He helps raise money for St. Jude’s Children Research Hospital, one of the most worthwhile charities in the country. The man who was once willing to wear a uniform that was three sizes too small is still finding a way to spread his enthusiasm and good cheer.

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