#DD 42

[dashboarddiaries]

This month, we travel back in time ten years to the halcyon days of 2014. What makes us so nostalgic for this time? Was this really the peak of the internet? All that is old is new again, so in many ways, it's STILL 2014. Except now, we're in the CORB-it.

Credits and transcript in our reblog. You can find transcripts for this, and every other episode, here.

Find the posts discussed in this episode in this tag!

[akasanata]

Cute Jonathan exploring

And Jonathan invoking the spirits of ladies past, by writing in their desk

[goldenpinof]

Louise teaches Dan to be a Daddy

[ncmra]

ryu namra asiste la misión #003 con estilo años veinte

[lonestarbattleship]

The Combined Atlantic and Pacific Fleets in Panama Bay

In the first photo, the ships present in this image are (from left to right): "USS PAUL HAMILTON (DD-307), USS FARQUHAR (DD-304), USS SIMPSON (DD-221), USS THOMPSON (DD-305), USS PARROTT (DD-218), USS RENO (DD-303), USS DORSEY (DD-117), USS DENT (DD-116) and USS WATERS (DD-115). Chilean destroyers are in the center distance."

In the second photo, the ships present in this image are (from left to right): "USS STODDERT (DD-302), USS MELVILLE (AD-2), USS TEXAS (BB-35), USS PARTRIDGE (AM-16), USS BIRMINGHAM (CL-2), USS ARKANSAS (BB-33), USS IDAHO (BB-42), USS MISSISSIPPI (BB-41), USS WYOMING (BB-32), USS NEW YORK (BB-34), USS NEW MEXICO (BB-40) and USS PENNSYLVANIA (BB-38)."

In the third photo, the ships present in this image are (from left to right): "USS SICARD (DD-346), USS HATFIELD (DD-231), USS NORTH DAKOTA (BB-29), USS DELAWARE (BB-28), USS BRAZOS (AO-4), USS PROMETHEUS (AR-3), USS UTAH (BB-31), USS OKLAHOMA (BB-37), USS BRIDGE (AF-1), USS NEVADA (BB-36), USS SCHENCK (DD-159), USS ARIZONA (BB-39), USS BLACK HAWK (AD-9), USS DICKERSON (DD-157), USS DAHLGREN (DD-187), USS HERBERT (DD-160), USS COLUMBIA (CA-16), USS CLEVELAND (PG-33), USS TACOMA (PG-32), USS SEMMES (DD-189) and one other destroyer.

Panoramic photograph taken by M.C. Mayberry, of Mayberry and Smith, Shreveport, Louisiana.

U.S. Naval History and Heritage Command: NH 86082-A, NH 86082-B, NH 86082-C

Date: January 21, 1921

[ask-mrxmts]

What size bra you wear?

Why do YOU wanna know? Sicko...

[alienated-idiot]

I didn't know how life changing it would be to like, figure out the bras you've been wearing your whole adult life don't fit right not because of how your body is, but because you just need to go up in size. I've like spent the last five years of my life thinking I was stuck with arm pit fat, and last week I was like "what if I just went up a cup size and see what happens" DUDE I've never been so comfortable. I still need to go up in band size too but it holds ALL the titty, including the hit I thought was arm pit fat. I don't get stabbed in the arms, I'm not falling out the top, it's wonderful.

[sonnwave]

We're 42 days away from summer, yay!! :DD

[love-anddeepression]

Father Mine- 2. Miguel O’Hara x teen!spider!reader

Just note- this and father mine aren’t in the canon of Miguel’s and mini Miguel’s story line<3 also this is absolute crap and I’m so sorry it has a lot more plot and less of Miguel and mini Miguel interaction. Though whatever they do have is pain. (ALSO THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE I LOVE ALL OF YOU) please comment and reblog if you liked it :DD

Warnings: angst. FATHER MINE PART 1 Part 3

“Where is she?” He asks Jess.

“She didn’t follow.” Is what the woman replies and that’s that.

A spark of worry shoots through him but he ignores it. Now is not the time to worry about anything but the anomaly.

He scans his surroundings and tries to look for wherever the kid may be.

A part of his mind still screams he’s just a kid.

That weak thinking, letting things slide mindset was ahat got Gabriella killed. It was what killed an entire universe. He couldn’t let more people be killed for the sake of the life of one man.

“Split up. Look for him.” He orders Ben and Jess and they leave promptly.

Not now. Not now. He’d check up on you after.

——————

“Miles!” You whisper-shout at the boy.

He almost shouts but you cover his mouth with your hand, “you’re in the wrong universe, you’re on earth-42.” His eyes widen, “I’m here to help you.”

“Why should I trust you?” His eyes narrow at you.

“I don’t know.” You look down, “But I’m asking you to trust me anyways.”

After a beat of silence he talks, “how did you know I was in the wrong universe?”

“You were bit by a spider that was from here. It’s venom altered your dna to this universe. And the go home machine scanned your dna, which was this universes and sent you here, I’m running out of breath and I can hear your mom from this univers walking here so let’s please just go.” You pull him out through the window just as the door opens and Rio steps in.

You and Miles drop down into an abandoned alleyway, and you hide a wince because of the pain in your leg. He turns invisible and you open a portal. Just as he walks through, Ben comes into view and sees you.

“Mini Miguel! You’re here! You know your dad was pretty worried you didn’t show! I’ll tell him you’re here wait- I” you web his mouth and eyes and as he flails about you launch yourself upwards and unhook his watch.

“I’m sorry, Ben.” You apologise to his mumbling form as his hands thrash around to remove the webs.

You jump into the portal and it closes.

“We’re in Miguel’s APARTMENT?” Miles’s all but shrieks and you wince.

“Jeez, bro. Don’t worry. He won’t look here.” You hand him a bottle of water from the minibar.

He drinks it all in one go and breathes deeply. You calm him down, “this is just for a few hours. Then I’ll shift you to your own universe.”

“Why not now?” He asks.

“You need to eat, and you’ll be fine. No one’s going to be named Captain tonight right? You can’t help anyone if you’re half dead.”

He clenches his jaw and sits down as you go to the kitchen and get a leftover pizza from the fridge. It was from that family night you had with Miguel and Lyla the day before Miles’s arrival.

You head to the living room after heating his food and his eyes are transfixed on a photo frame in his hand.

It’s a photo of you and him that Lyla had managed to sneak and Jess had printed for your birthday.

“He seems nice. When he’s not trying to kill me.” The boy scoffs.

You don’t answer, just handing him his food.

He eats in silence and you take the time to clean the house. Even if you did hate him just a bit, it didn’t mean he deserved to live in a messy house because he was too busy working.

“You really love him, huh?” Miles piped up and you look up from fluffing a cushion.

“Hmm.” You hum in response, “I don’t know.”

“If you didn’t you wouldn’t be here fluffing up his cushions and cleaning his home. Or should I say your home as well.” He raises an eyebrow.

You throw the cushion, “his home. Come on, we need to get to his office so I know what universe you’re from.”

He follows you to the window and has to swallow a gasp when you walk through it and float like you’re walking on air.

You chuckle, “it’s an illusion, sort of like that Indiana Jones movie.”

“The thing with the grail?” His voice is shaky as his foot comes to rest onto the platform connecting the window to the opposite balcony.

“Yeah, I got it made to fuck with Miguel.”

He huffs out a laugh, “I bet he would have freaked out?”

“You have no idea.” You smile a little at the memory as you jump of the platform and land lightly on the terrace.

Every few minutes you usher Miles into the few dark alleyways in the futuristic city of Nueva York to use the hidden pathways that are used by the underground thug gangs that you had managed to sniff out.

It takes about half an hour to reach the tower, and Miles turns invisible, “you couldn’t have done that before?” You raise an eyebrow.

He just looks sheepish and you try not to roll your eyes, “come on.”

He follows you through the entire area, sees them all wave and smile at you as you walk to where spider-byte may be.

——-

“Ben, come in.” Miguel speaks, “Ben!”

With a groan, he phones Lyla. She picks up immediately and her voice is frantic, “you need to get back. Now.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s Miles.” She informs him, “mini you is with him.”

His eyes widen under the mask and without a word he opens a portal to go home, “Jess. We’re going back to base.”

————————

“1610. Earth 1610.” You recite as you make a portal.

As soon as it opens, the door to the room swings open.

It’s a sort of déjà vu if you think about it.

The same room, the same scenario. But this time it’s you he’s after.

Your blood runs cold and you push Miles inside, “save your dad.” Are the last words you say to him as the portal closes in time just as Miguel pounces through air.

He looks at you and you freeze. His eyes are red and his fangs are out.

As he stands to his feet, your breathing becomes uneven.

Fuck you’re panicking. And it’s weird, because you’ve faced evil villains before. You’ve fought people that make Miguel look like a shortie.

So.. why the fuck are you so scared? Or were you always just a coward?

“You’re hurt.” He says in an eerily calm voice.

“Why-why do you care?” You huff out and his eyebrows furrow.

“What do you mean?” He raises his hand and you flinch. You notice the way his eyes widen and the hurt that floods the pools of his eyes.

He takes another step forward and you back away, “Stay the fuck away from me.” Your hand shoots forward. Only widening the chasm between the both of you.

“What. Happened? Who hurt you? Was it Miles? Did he force you to help him?” He snarls.

You stare at him dumbfounded, “Who hurt me? Are you serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

You scoff, “I helped him of my own accord.”

It’s then that he takes a deep breath and a step back.

“That’s right. I helped him get away!”

“….how could you do this to us? To me?” He points to himself.

“What are you going to do now? Try and kill me like you did him?”

“I would never. I am your father-”

“You are a selfish monster.” You say and his breath hitches. The look on his face breaks your own heart and all you want to do is hug him.

“Don’t say that.” He points at you, “you don’t mean it.”

“I meant every damn word.” You scowl and reply, “you are not my father. I am not your daughter.”

He schools the hurt on his face, “So be it.” He webs your watch and breaks it into tiny pieces in a matter of moments, “it’s cute that you thought you could one up me. Really.” He chuckles, “You are relieved of your duties effective immediately. You will never be allowed into Earth-928 or any other dimension hereafter.”

He webs you closer to him as he opens a portal into some obscure universe, one you’ve never heard of, and just before he pushes you in, you glimpse the tears in his eyes, your own running down your cheek as you scream profanities at him.

The last thing you see is his face before you’re thrown into complete darkness.

[petermorwood]

Flammkuchen / Tarte Flambeé / "German pizza"

This evening I found a slab of Speck (strong-smoked bacon) in the freezer that I didn't know we had, there was half an onion and a tub of Lithuanian sour cream in the fridge, so @dduane decided to try Flammkuchen.

Originally, so the story goes, it was made by bakers as a pre-thermometer way to check the temperature of their wood-fired ovens (and provide a quick snack at the same time).

Tarte flambée is the French name, but "German Pizza" or indeed any sort of pizza it certainly isn't; there's neither tomato sauce nor cheese, and no yeast in the dough.

Whether it's German or French depends on who you ask, since it originates from the province of Alsace, an area which has changed hands a lot in the past couple of centuries and whose ownership has been A Source Of Friction Between Guess Who for almost as long.

To stay neutral, the recipe DD used is Swiss. ;->

Here's the translation:

*****

Alsatian tarte flambée

This delicious speciality from Alsace is also ideal for an aperitif. Thinly rolled bread dough with sour cream, onions and bacon cubes!

350g flour (12½ oz) 1.25 tsp salt 2 dl water (6.7 US fl oz / .42 US pt) 2 tbsp olive oil 200 g crème fraîche / sour cream (7 oz) 2 onions (we had less, so used less...) 120 g farmer's (thick, well-smoked) bacon in slices (4¼ oz) a small grind of pepper

And this is how it's done:

Mix flour and salt in a bowl. Pour in water and oil, mix and knead into a soft, smooth dough. Form the dough into a ball, cover and let it rest at room temperature for about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 240 degrees (464 F). Halve the dough and roll it out into an oval shape about 3 mm thick (1/10 inch) on a lightly floured surface. Place the dough on two baking sheets lined with baking paper.

Spread the crème fraîche / sour cream over the dough, leaving a border of approx. 1 cm (½ inch) free all around. Peel the onions, cut them into fine rings, cut the bacon into strips, spread both over the crème fraîche / sour cream and season.

Baking per tray: approx. 12 minutes each on the bottom shelf of the oven.

*****

Since this was our first time making Flammkuchen, we baked them one at a time to check for errors. There were none (Swiss recipe!) and 12 minutes was exactly right to produce this result both times:

DD needs to be careful because of IBS so they were made with mostly bacon on one side, mostly onion on the other, and with a glass of cool white wine they made an excellent Sunday supper.

Next time, now we know how well this recipe works, we'll be more generous with the toppings. :->

Incidentally, rather than baking-trays or the pizza stone we need to replace (ceramic utensils, tile floors and gravity Do Not Mix Well) we used the cast-iron griddle which in summer often goes on the BBQ...

... and gave the oven a thorough pre-heating, then transferred the Flammkuchen in and out with a peel, all of which worked splendidly.

That tip about using baking paper is excellent, BTW: no sticking, no spillage, no washing up. I bet it'll work with other things as well.

Like, for instance, more Flammkuchen... ;->

[kairiscorner]

Could you write a 42 miles x reader where the reader is on the cheer team and miles is on the football team and it’s game night and when the game is done the reader confesses her feelings for miles?

OOOOO sure thing anon !! i hope ya like this :DD

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

i'm his biggest fan. — miles 42 x cheerleader!reader

summary: you've always admired him from a distance, always smiled at him, not knowing if he liked you back–not knowing if you wanted to know if he did indeed like you back, either. but you were through with hiding your feelings, you made up your mind. win or lose, you're gonna admit to him once and for all how you feel, wanting to be more than just his biggest fan. pairing: miles 42 x cheerleader!reader genre: pure fluff !! word count: 1,180

as the football players were lining up on the field, you had your gaze on one of the players by the side. he wasn't the biggest nor tallest player, he wasn't even the quarterback or anyone too important to the game--he was just another player, another student in another extracurricular school activity, but not to you. while the other cheerleaders were calling out to their partners and friends, cheering on them, you were silently rooting for the boy who didn't even notice all your attention was on him, and him alone.

you were hoping he wouldn't look your way, though you were also wishing he could at least show bits his face through that helmet covering his head. you were constantly conflicting your wants at every turn when it came to him, and it confused you sometimes, but... in a good way. he made you feel so warm and buzzing, yet frozen in place when you'd see him during joint practices and compliment him, and hearing him compliment you back in an awkward yet sincere way, the way he always is around you when you call out to him... it made you feel a lot of things. it made you feel a lot of things you hadn't understood fully, but wanted to feel more of because he makes you feel good about yourself; he makes you feel like you're more than just a cheerleader, more than just another face on the team, even though you two hardly speak outside of practice.

you were the sole person on the cheer squad who remembered his name and wanted to cheer him on from the sides; you were always thinking of his name, it was like an involuntary reflex, an instinct, if you will. you took in a deep breath and from the bottom of your lungs, you shouted his name with a bright cheer. "miles! miles morales! go miles, give them hell!" you cheered, which took miles by surprise. he whipped his head around and looked for the voice who cheered for him, and there you were, smiling and cheering for him all the while as every other cheerleader kept calling for the quarterback and center, you were only focused on him, and he didn't... oh, he did not know how to feel about that.

the player next to him nudged him to get his focus back in the game, and he tried to, but knowing there was someone out there who bothered to call his name when he was no football star or legend on the team, it motivated him to do better than he ever had before. fast forward to the end of the game, your school's team had won by a landslide, with miles getting more recognition tonight as he played more vigorously and tactical than all the other players on the field, with you cheering harder and louder with more passion than you ever have before in your whole time as a cheerleader. a few of the other cheerleaders teased you, asking you in between the breaks if you had your eye on any one of the players, with you immediately laughing that notion off and giving them vague 'maybe's for answers.

as the players shook hands from both teams and went their own ways, they were bombarded by praise from the cheer squad, the coach and the assistant coach, the teachers, their family and friends. though you didn't join the commotion until you saw an older man with a goatee hug miles, telling him he did amazing. the boy hugged the older man back and thanked him as he pulled away, his mind elsewhere as his eyes wandered, searching for the cheerleader who lifted his spirits before the game began.

this was it, your chance, your chance to finally tell him how you've felt all this time, no more admiring him from a distance when your chance to be up close and personal with him is right here, right now. "um, excuse me, miles morales?" you asked in a small voice as both miles and his uncle looked your way. his uncle smiled and nodded, taking the hint as he placed his hand on miles' shoulder and wished him luck in a whisper, with miles trying to hide his embarrassment and removing his uncle's hand from his shoulder as the older man walked away. "ah, yeah. i am... and you're...?" he asked you as you gave him his name, with him involuntarily nodding as he snapped his fingers. "you're the cheerleader i keep meeting in joint practices, aren't you?" "i am...!" you exclaimed a little too excitedly with a smile, then soon reeled it back and hid behind your pompoms.

he chuckled as he saw your widened eyes and bashful expression being hidden behind your pompoms. "hey, no sweat, you don't have to get all embarrassed. i'm just a player, not the most valuable one, though." he said with a small smirk as he felt more flustered talking to you, soaking in all the pretty details and quirks about you that he never noticed until now, feeling a warmth and heat creep up his cheeks just like you. "well, for what it's worth, i believe you're extraordinary." you complimented him with a dorky smile as miles' smile went away and was replaced with a look of sheepishness. he toyed with his braid and chuckled. "that's... that's sweet of you, thanks." he said with a small smile.

"um, would you--" "um, would you--" you both began in unison, and soon stuttered to a stop, feeling more embarrassed. "no, no, you go ahead--" "no, no, you go ahead--" you both repeated, now feeling more flustered than ever. you decided to take that leap of faith and moved closer to him, boldly asking him: "do you wanna maybe... go out on a date sometime?" "i'dreallylovetoyes." he said in one breath as he looked at you with the most bashful expression ever, with so much heat filling his cheeks, he felt he might collapse. you felt even more flustered than before at his agreement, not expecting him to give you the time of day, but this was way better than any of your expectations or wildest dreams.

"great!" you exclaimed, breathlessly as miles stared down at his cleats, extremely sheepish at how dorky he must've sounded. "really great..." he muttered as he tried to hide the growing smile on his face with the cool poker face his uncle taught him, but the smile was too strong to keep hidden, and so it showed and broke through his facade, making you giggle a little seeing him be all happy about it. you gave him your number, which he hastily added to his contacts, and you promised to text him when you got home, with him telling you he's looking forward to that, to you, to this date you two were going to have. he's never been happier to know he's had a number one fan all this time, and now, he's thinking of making you more than just his number one fan.

a/n: rio called when you left, and his uncle kept yelling in the bg "YOUR BABY BOY HAS A DATE" with her reminding miles she told him he can't ever date until he's 25 😭😭😭

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @fiannee @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya

[wombywoo]

how did you come up with good names for your original characters? it's something I struggle with, especially the last names :'DD

I honestly love coming up with character names, it's one of my fave parts of character creation 🥰 As for my own boys, I think Vincent's name came to me immediately, while I struggled with Quinn a bit--I actually had his last name first so that helped; I kept the name Lacey in the back of my mind and wanted to pair it with something monosyllabic. And for Vince's last name, I think I considered Croft but went with Craft instead because it corresponds with aircraft and witchcraft, etc, and I liked the vibe~ For some of my other characters, I came up with given names first then did some research for last names...

Suggested research: everyone and their mother knows about fantasy name generator (which I do highly recommend) They have so many categories which can be great for just picking one at random if you're not too fussy, and it can be fun to browse all the options; great time-waster if you're bored 👍

My other option is a site I've become obsessed with called forebears, which is a database for real names across the globe. It's a really neat site that allows you to see how common names are and where they're most prevalent! (fun fact--only 42 people share my married surname!) I honestly spend way too much time on here looking up trivial info, it's addicting 🤫

They even have a feature where you can click specific areas on the map. Here's me googling my own fictional boy to see how common his name is in England:

Turns out there are only 4 Quinns born in South Yorkshire as of 2014....what will I do with this data??? (nothing)

Some more useless insight into which countries have the most Vincents

Tragic news...the french have claimed him 😔🥖

Anyway! if I'm looking for a good surname for an English character, I might peruse this list here and find a suitable choice~ And they have this for every country !!!!! Seriously, it's addicting!

I like to be somewhat ~authentic~ in naming characters from specific countries/cultures, so a bit of side research into naming practices in different regions doesn't hurt. You also don't want to go the jkrowling route and just pick stupidly stereotypical names for your characters either 😅

I would say your best bet is to peruse sites like this, or wait for a sudden moment of clarity where the perfect name is bequeathed to your subconscious (I also rely on this method sometimes)

Also just... let your character's vibe guide you~ Sometimes the best name is one that simply feels like them 👍

[randomfoggytiger]

If you had to put a number on it how many times do you think Mulder and Scully slept together in season 7? And, if you are so inclined what episodes would they have slept together in? Asking for a friend (me) 😊

The answer is probably "frequently." XDDD My reading of canon points to post-Millennium shenanigans.

But I believe we can pick up purposefully placed clues from Scully: she is late (or last to arrive) in Rush and The Goldberg Variation and The Great Maleeni-- which is a marked change from their routine; meaning, imo, she had to drive back to her apartment, get properly dressed, then catch a flight later-- and she's often shown crashing wherever Mulder lands-- all things's opening sequence, Hollywood A.D.'s ending, Requiem's motel room scene, etc.

Furthermore, I believe that Mulder and Scully spent more nights at his apartment than hers due to to his isolatory and her level of comfortability there. (And it's just brimming with MSR memories and moments, which makes it thematically more important.) As mentioned above, we see her gravitate to his apartment more than her own, particularly in all things (which was the first on-screen confirmation); and Scully is the type to go to him rather than call up and ask him to come to her. Gravitating of her own accord to his place would be a measure of half-admittance-- effectively appeasing her own sense of independence (and shame at fessing up to weakness.)

But post all things, all bets are off; and we see that increased level of "who honestly cares about hiding anymore" when they arrive at the office, late, together, and when they shack up shamelessly in the same motel room because Scully feels sick and knows Mulder's a bed warmer. (The latter's script even notes that they arrived with extra hurry to the next morning's crime scene; meaning, they had to rush to get there on time. Which could point to them either having sex that morning or choosing to sleep in-- or Mulder sneakily letting her sleep in-- because Scully was still a little unwell.)

I will note: I'm further bolstered in my assertion by their behavior in Season 8 (gasp, horror.) Wrote a post about it here, but the first time we see Mulder using a key to Scully's place is at the end of Existence (now that they have a family) while Scully is shown openly crashing at his apartment, heartsick, from day one (Within.) Season 8, out of necessity (the baby's arrival and DD's looming second absence), began the transition away from Mulder's place to Scully's (Three Words is the last time we see his apartment, if I recall correctly.) We watched him always dropping by her apartment (Empedocles, Alone) and eagle-eyed his toothbrushes and shirts (Essence)-- which subtly pointed to that transition-- yet, the important part of their history at Hegel's Place was never truly resolved. It's a shame that canon dismissed it out of hand without a proper goodbye. ...But, again, that might be selling the writers and actors short: Mulder himself was detached from apartment 42 in Three Words (only noting "It's clean" and standing or sitting everywhere as compactly and insecurely as possible); and trekked from Alexandria to Georgetown constantly of his own free will. There just... wasn't enough on-screen to justify that write-off. (Add it to the list of micro-changes that weren't allowed to be explored. >:////)

I hope this satisfies~. But if not, I open the floor: does anyone want to take a crack at anon's question?

[cur-vy]

[vikinglanguage]

9 number things you might not know as a foreign speaker of Danish

This is a mishmash of both cultural things and linguistic things. The idea for this post appeared in my head at 3 am so bear with me. As for the lack of links, I am adding them in a reblog to try to avoid tumblr nerfing my post.

1) Quarters – how to measure time In Denmark, we love measuring time in quarters of an hour. We love it so much we don't care about specifying the kind of quarter, it's just kvarter (itk.). Generally, we tend to use kvarter mostly just when speaking about 15 or 45 minutes, but it does go further than that. So here's a quick guide on how to tell time other than just doing as you would in English:

15 minutes – et kvarter 30 minutes – en halv time 45 minutes – tre kvarter 75 minutes/1h 15m – en time og et kvarter · fem kvarter 90 minutes/1h 30m – halvanden time (see 2) 105 minutes/1h 45m – en time og tre kvarter

and so forth, if you care to. Using fem kvarter is uncommon but acceptable, but never go further than that using just quarters of an hour. I would say that once you pass 2 hrs, I most commonly hear people starting to just count hours and minutes as you would in English.

2) Halvanden – half second An archaic way of saying 'one and a half' that just stuck for some reason. This is the preferred way to say 'one and a half ' for most people. No, this is not a joke.

Halvanden, 'half second' means halfway between one and two. Until quite recently (we're talking less than a century) halvtredje (2.5), halvfjerde (3.5), etc. were also in common use, but they have disappeared so rapidly that most current speakers will have absolutely no idea what the hell you're talking about. However, the ghosts of this way of counting live on in the numbers halvtreds (50), halvfjerds (70), and halvfems (90). You can read more about that in my old post about Danish numbers (see reblogs).

3) Week 42 We use week numbers! Week 1 is the first week in the new year to contain a Thursday, as we count weeks as Monday through Sunday. You don't necessarily need to know what week it is all the time, but a lot of adults use weeks in place of specific dates. I am forever thankful to ugenr.dk (you just type in a date and it tells you what week it is in or vice versa).

Important weeks are:

Week 7/8 – winter break for kids in primary and secondary school (not to be confused with Christmas break). It varies depending on municipality whether it's week 7 or 8. Lots of people go skiing these weeks.

Week 26 through 31 – summer break is usually during these weeks. All students in primary and secondary school, as well as university students and students doing professional bachelor's degrees and the like have these weeks off from school.

Week 42 – arguably the most important week. All students mentioned above have this week off from school. It's autumn break and it's ALWAYS week 42 and JUST week 42. Originally, it was to allow students in rural areas help their parents harvest potatoes (a nickname for autumn break is kartoffelferien 'the potato break'), and we just kept it.

4) DD-MM-(YY)YY If you write dates as MM-DD people will think you're a lunatic. Don't, unless you're specifically talking about 9/11, colloquially referred to as just 9/11 (nine-eleven, as you would say it in English).

5) 00:00 Denmark, like a lot of other European countries, uses 24hr clocks. Obviously, analogue clocks and watches are common, and it's perfectly ok to say stuff like klokken fire om eftermiddagen 'four o'clock in the afternoon' or klokken otte om aftenen 'eight o'clock in the evening', but you are expected to just know that 21:00 is the same as 9 PM. You can also say klokken toogtyve 'twenty-two o'clock', and it's quite normal to ask for clarification of whether people are talking AM or PM by saying stuff like klokken elleve eller klokken treogtyve? 'eleven o'clock or twenty-three o'clock?'. You cannot use AM and PM when speaking or writing Danish. The day begins at midnight; 00:00.

Don't worry yourself too much over this. Everyone occasionally forgets that 19:00 is in fact 7 o'clock and not 9 o'clock.

6) Halv to – half one When you're measuring half hours in Danish, you're always measuring towards the next whole number. It's never half past, it's always half to. As such, half (past) one is halv to 'half two' in Danish.

7) Grades (years) This is an ultra quick rundown of the Danish school system. School is mandatory for 10 years and homeschooling is allowed. This covers primary and lower secondary school.

Most people start school the year they turn 6. My birthday is in April, so I was 6 when I stated school, my sister's birthday is in September, so she was 5.

The mandatory grades are as follows. The ages are all possibly ages of a child attending that grade (not accounting for starting school early or late):

Indskolingen, grades 0-3 0. klasse/børnehaveklasse - 5-7 yo 1. klasse – 6-8 yo 2. klasse – 7-9 yo 3. klasse – 8-10 yo

Mellemtrinnet, grades 4-6 4. klasse – 9-11 yo 5. klasse – 10-12 yo 6. klasse – 11-13 yo

Overbygningen/udskolingen, grades 7-9 7. klasse – 12-14 yo 8. klasse - 13-15 yo 9. klasse - 14-16 yo

Some may choose to do 10. klasse, if they feel like they need more schooling or maybe if they're attending an efterskole.

Once they've finished their mandatory schooling, a lot of Danes choose to attend upper secondary school. You can do it in 3 years (stx, hhx, htx, and eux) or 2 years (hf, 2-årigt studenterkursus). Special circumstances like being an elite level athlete or attending MGK (preparation for attending a music conservatoire) may lead to people spending 4 years in upper secondary. Hf often sees a lot of adult students.

Gymnasium/HF, the grades are said as [ordinal number, letter(s)] 1.g (15-17 yo)/1.hf 2.g (16-18 yo)/2.hf 3.g (17-19 yo)

8) Grades (performance)

Danish schools have a 7-grade system. It's called 7-trinskalaen, and each grade corresponds to an ECTS grade (in fact, it's specifically designed for compatibility, and a lot of people above the age of 30 miss the old scale). Generally, students don't get grades until 7th grade. The grades are:

12 – A 10 – B 7 – C 4 – D 02 – E 00 – Fx -3 – F

If you are not familiar with the ECTS system, E, Danish 02, is the lowest passing grade. The intention behind the 0's in 02 and 00 is to make it impossible for the students to "change" their grade by just adding 1 in front of the grade, but the 0's are in fact also said out loud.

9) Ordinal numbers

Ordinal numbers are written as a number followed by a full stop. You do not capitalise the first letter of any word following the full stop (see 7) even though MS Word will try to convince you it's the right thing to do.

You can read a lot more about numbers on the Danish numbers post (again, in a reblog), but the basics that might not be covered by formal learning materials are:

nulte zeroth. This literally only exists for 0. klasse and for numbers to the zeroth power. fyrretyvende/fyrrende* – fortieth halvtredsindstyvende/halvtredsende* – fiftieth tresindstyvende/tressende* – sixtieth halvfjerdsindstyvende/halvfjerdsende* – seventieth firsindstyvende/firsende* – eightieth halvfemsindstyvende/halvfemsende* – ninetieth

The forms marked with an asterisk are largely informal spoken language to the degree that they are even considered wrong by some. Generally, they are accepted as the standard forms among the younger generations, but be careful when talking to people above the age of ~45.

[birthfan]

Pregnant with twins. Your absolutely massive and a couple days overdue. Your doctor told you it would be a good idea if you went walking to help get them out. You decide to give it a try and go to your favorite hiking trail cause it’s always empty. It’s incredibly hot out so you figure you should be comfortable so you put on this loose but super short almost sheer top sun dress no bra even though your breasts are huge almost up a cup size from your normal DD. Your waddling down the trail listening to music not paying attention when you realize your miles from your car.

I always loved to go out in relaxing hikes in nature and figured this was my last chance before I'd be too busy taking care of my babies, so there I was 42 weeks pregnant on a lonely hiking trail.

Since I guessed no-one would be hiking and it was ridiculously hot this time of the year, I just had my lightest sundress on with nothing else, not even panties so I could feel what little breeze there was all over my body.

I had been feeling my belly contract during the hike but decided to not give it much thought, I was going to have a C-section in a few days since my babies had been taking so long, so I just thought it was Braxton Hicks as I'd been having them since my original due date.

As I kept walking and eventually reached the woods I felt a contraction much stronger than any previous ones, which made me bend over and clutch my belly "ooooofff hmm" I grunted.

I kept going and as I reached my favourite spot in the woods I took out my headphones and stretched a bit, as I was about to sit down I was suddenly hit by an incredibly strong contraction with a wave of pressure, soon followed by a wet sensation on the inside of my thighs and a loud splash.

"mmmnnnaa ooh god! T-this can't be happening!" I exclaimed panicked as I realized that my water had just broke, the pressure was constant and as I panted I slowly put my fingers inside me to measure my dilation.

As my finger tips were about to reach my cervix they were interrupted by my first baby's head "oh f-fuck hmmmm" I yelled as I felt another contraction, while I didn't push voluntarily my contracting womb made my first child slip lower into my birth canal.

"hnnng shit I need to get back" I saif I leaned on a tree clutching my contracting belly, as I tried walking I felt my legs being spread apart, unable to be closed as my baby's head started pressing on my vulva.

At this point I realized that no matter what I couldn't make it back in time, my car was three hours away and this deep in the wilderness there was no cell service, I'd have to push my babies out right there.

I felt another contraction and pushed with it causing my lips to open up under my sundress "huuuuu mmmnn" I moaned as I felt a burning sensation slowly but steadily building up as my labias stretched.

The sound of the birds singing offered a little bit of calmness in this terrifying situation as moved towards a tree stump. I lifted my dress' skirt up as I sat on the log with my legs spread open exposing my soon to crown baby's head.

I pushed with the next contraction causing my first child's head to reach it's widest point, stretching my vulva beyond belief "haaaaa nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggh haaaaa" I breathed out as my lips burned, feeling like they would snap like an overstretched rubber band.

As tears of pain fell down my cheeks my hand made it's way downwards to my labias, my fingers slowly massaging them hoping to help them stretch around the head, I felt my dress clinging to me from the sweat as my nipples were now visible, not that I cared as I was alone.

A contraction hit me and I pushed with it as best I could "hmmmmgggooooooAAAH Haaa haaa" I shrieked and panted as the head popped out of me spraying fluids all over as it dangled out.

I breathed and rested to prepare for the next push which would hopefully be enough to take this first baby out of me. I slowly lowered myself putting my elbows on the tree stump and resting my back on it as I could feel the leaves on the ground tickling my butt.

I prepared myself and pushed as I felt the next contraction "nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggh hoooo" I groaned as the baby slipped out of me with a small wet thud onto the forest floor.

I picked up my baby as she cried, I cuddled her and cleaned her up while I exposed my sweaty breasts to feed her. I could feel her sibling already making its way down my birth canal.

"hmmm it seems your little brother or sister is excited to come out" I said as the baby felt smaller then its sister luckily. The second baby was already bulging out my vulva, though it didn't feel as bad as before.

As I nursed my daughter I got up to have gravity help with the second baby so that I could come out faster. It seemed to work as without even needing to push yet I felt myself slowly open up.

I pushed lightly bending my legs as a contraction hit me, I could feel my lips stretching, and as my free hand reached for the baby's head I felt that it had almost reached it's widest point.

As this baby seemed to not be as much of a problem as it's sister I decided to start walking back to my car. As I reached the perimeter of the woods I hadn't pushed again yet but I could feel my second baby crowning, the burn being much more manageable than the previous one.

While I kept walking, the main dirt road now in sight, I felt my second kid's head slowly come out about halfway as my firstborn suckled on my milky breast. Then suddenly the head came out with a wet pop, unfortunately soaking my dress' skirt which I had managed to keep clean up until now.

As I went down the main dirt road I could feel the head dangling in-between my fat wet thighs, I knew I'd still need to push for my baby to come out when the next contraction would hit.

As I felt my womb tightening one last time I squatted down, my free hand holding my baby's head to catch it "hmmmmmm huuuu" I panted as with this last push my second baby came out of me, I caught my son and held him up to my other breast as the remaining fluids spilled out of me making a puddle in-between my feet.

As both my babies were now quietly suckling on my breasts I kept walking back "thank you for being easier than your sister I said to my son as I kissed the top of his head and made my way back to the car.