#Crunchbite

[rvbshipbrackets]

There's so many Tucker ships, lets narrow them down:

Because there's so many, more than one will probably make it through, unless the skew of votes is especially devastating

[correctrvbquotes]

Cut to a swamp where Tucker, Caboose, Andy, and Crunchbite are

Andy: Alright. This, is the Great Swamp. We can rest here a while before we move on.

Tucker: Yeah, let's rest in a swamp, that makes sense.

Andy: Save your energy Tucker, you're gonna need it.

Tucker: Aw screw that. So far this quest is a fuckin' breeze. I've already killed a dead monster. What's next, we gonna open an unlocked door? Rescue a Princess from herself?

Andy: Hey, Caboose. What's wrong?

Caboose: I think something is following us.

Andy: Yeah. It's been on us since we left. Part of the prophecy talks about something evil that tries to take the Great Weapon.

Tucker: You mean my awesome dead monster killing weapon? It can have it.

Andy: It's attracted to it. It can't live without it.

Tucker: That doesn't sound good. Hey Caboose, come here and hold my sword.

Andy: It's okay, we got a plan. We can make camp, and then we'll tell ya about it.

Caboose: I love camping!

Fade out, then back in. Tucker is asleep and snoring.

Tucker: (snore) ...twins... hm, huh? Hey, guys? Andy? ...Caboose? Alien thing? ... ...Guys? Anybody?

The whatever it is that's following them slowly sneaks up on Tucker as he says this.

Andy: Now Caboose!

The Alien: WHARRRRRG!

Crunchbite jumps on it and starts pummeling it.

Andy: We got it!

Caboose: Is it safe to come out yet?

Andy: Caboose, you were supposed to help.

Caboose: I was helping watch.

Andy: What if somethin' had happened?

Caboose: I'm sure I would have seen it.

Tucker: Hey what the hell, where did you guys go?

Andy: We laid a trap.

Tucker: A trap? You left me all alone!

Andy: Heh heh heh, you can't have a trap without bait!

Tucker: I was the bait?

Caboose: I thought you did a very good job.

Tex: Get off of me you stinky idiot!

Tucker: Tex?

Tex: This is some greeting. I come to help you guys and ya ambush me.

Andy: You weren't comin' to help, you were comin' to steal the sword!

Tex: No I wasn't. I was coming to steal your reward.

Andy: There is no reward. The reward is the sword.

Tex: Oh. Thennn yeah, I guess I'm here to steal the sword.

The Alien: Hurn, blarrr.

Andy: Oh yeah yeah, and also the salvation and emancipation of his species for all eternity.

Tex: Tell you what. I'll go fifty fifty. You keep the emancipation, and I'll keep the sword.

The Alien: Hurhonk?

Andy: Deal.

Tucker: What do I get?

Tex: You get to live, but no guarantees.

Tucker: That's not a reward for me, that's a reward for all the fine ladies in the universe.

Tex: I'm a woman, and somehow... I don't feel any luckier.

Tucker: I said fine ladies.

Andy: What do you want, Caboose?

Caboose: (deep, serious voice) I want a pony.

[glitterdragonthegreatprotector]

Finally finished it

[leonardalphachurch]

I was reading through your Tucker tag (because I really like your Tucker takes) and I saw in one of your writings that you have Junior's sangheili name be Jaen ‘Kelossai. And I was just really curious about where the name came from? I don't remember there being a Kelos Sangheili keep (though I haven't checked in a while)?

I'd love to know your thought process behind why you picked the name if you're interested in sharing.

so fun fact: we have memory problems and i cannot find where we would have written it down LMAO. let me look through my discord message history and see if i might’ve talked about it while doing it…

okay okay the wiki says

A Sangheili's first name is a given name that is attained at birth and persists throughout their life. After reaching adulthood, they are given a badge name. During the time of the Covenant, this was often composed of two core parts: an adjective describing the individual, and a family name. Ado 'Mortumee was one practitioner of this system, where 'Mor' was his personal descriptor, and 'Tum' identified his lineage.[124] Alternatively, some may have their badge name drawn from their State of origin, which could be tied to a specific Keep or family. For example: Thel 'Vadam, (formerly 'Vadamee when he served the Covenant,) was from the Vadam lineage.

okay so i said “buhhhh if the baby is a fucking. prophecy baby they can give this to a baby too” in reference to them giving badge names to adults…

the suffix "-ai" denotes swordsmanship

this explains the “ai” part of kelossai…

right okay reading more i remember i decided that the prophecy baby would probably have a unique state of origin/lineage/keep name, so i’m pretty sure keloss wasn’t meant to be a descriptor and a lineage but to be more like vadam and just the whole thing is a lineage. okay. but why keloss….

i’m PRETTY sure jaen was picked bc i wanted it to be close to junior. there aren’t a lot of words in sangheili that actually have translations so i had the reigns to make something up.

WAIT OKAY LOOKING AT THE LANGUAGE PAGE

Kel - Light (that dances on the waves)[13]

Jeeneh - Soul[Note 2] This is a phonetic spelling. The proper rendering has not been confirmed in canon.

okay and i translated his name as “The soul who lights the prophecy of the sword.” okay i should have just looked at the language page in the first place LOL well at least we went on a journey together.

tl;dr i used the translations off the wiki to use “Keloss” to mean “to light” based on “Kel” and “Jaen” to mean “soul” based on “Jeeneh” and then “-ai” is just the suffix for swordsman.

ALSO THANK YOU for the compliment i wish my tag system was more organized for you so it was easier to find all my writing about him LMAO

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

My hobby is making hyperspecific memes about things i cannot figure out how to format into a better post

[asphodeldreams]

something i love about engaging rvb fans on tumblr/through the survey is that now i have people confessing their rvb sins to me. like your favorite antagonist in the show is crunchbite (the alien that got tucker pregnant)? fuck yeah dude, that rules. you think the chorus trilogy is the worst story arc of the show? i am SEATED pls tell me more!!! your favorite season of the WHOLE show is season 19, the finale? WHO ARE YOU I WANNA KNOW YOUR REASONSSSS

[rvb-relationship-royale]

RvB Friendship Fray- Round One, Part One, Poll Twenty-Two

[uglybumbo]

Okay, so, um, Tucker is a fighter. Uh, Crunchbite is the healer, and I am the powerful.... and intelligent.... wizard....

Morphu-max.

[peachybutch]

they call me nonsense edits arizona

[ancient-romes]

Finding the panel where Miles acknowledges that Tucker was taken advantage of by Crunchbite and Burnie refuting it by saying Tucker "can't be taken advantage of" and then seeing how Tucker was treated in restoration like......i am connecting the dots and i do not like it

[slyvester101]

After everything that happened with Crunchbite (the bastard) and Junior’s probably horrific and painful birth, I imagine Tucker is more than a little wary about letting strangers near him.

He gets this hollow feeling in his gut when he’s around people he doesn’t know, gets an itch in his skin if he’s touched by someone he doesn’t trust. His throat tightens and his heart squeezes and his hands shake. He’s not able to sleep well around strangers, has to keep his back to the wall or else he’s waking every five minutes to make sure no one’s snuck up behind him.

He spends his whole diplomacy curled up in a ball in the corner of his room with Junior tucked under his chin, keeps his distance from the soldiers stuck on his missions and keeps them away with sharp smiles and horrible flirting that would make anyone cringe away.

At the desert temple, when he’s all alone with nothing but hostiles banging on the door, Tucker laments in how much he misses touch, misses the freedom of being able to hug someone without fear of harm, of being able to know if a touch was friendly or manipulative. He misses Blood Gulch. He misses blue team. He misses his son.

Even after Sidewinder, Tucker still isn’t in the clear, isn’t allowed some respite with his team because the latest member is yet another Freelancer who was chasing to kill them not even less than twenty-four hours ago.

His skin is buzzing the whole time they’re being shown around their new base by Caboose, his heart not settling despite the action being long over, his brain screams as someone grabs his shoulder. He screams out loud too, it seems, because the hand is pulling back quickly and a soft apologetic voice is echoing through his head.

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t fucking touch me, asshole.” Tucker all but hissed before he stormed away, unwilling to let this new prick see the way his hands shake and the way his face has gone pale.

He hates it. He hates it. He hates how he can’t even stand close to the fucker without feeling ill, can’t help but track his every movement and every word for some kind of malice or cruel intent.

He finds none.

He’s kind to Caboose, politely nodding along to whatever he rants about and keeping him out of trouble with much kinder words that Church was probably physically incapable of speaking. He’s kind to Tucker even though he’s been nothing but a paranoid asshole the whole time they’ve been at Valhalla, never taking offense to the distance Tucker puts between them and respecting whatever lines Tucker draws.

It takes a long time for him to feel comfortable enough to let Washington touch him, not quite as long to start giving him shit like he would’ve with Church. Slowly and cautiously, they fall into a groove that’s uniquely theirs and Tucker feels like he can finally breathe in his own goddamn house.

His trust in Wash is cemented when Carolina comes into the picture and constantly steps in as a barrier between the two, Washington knowing that Carolina would try to scruff or yank Tucker around for his big mouth and that Tucker would probably rip her hand off if she tried. He’s the only reason the two aqua soldiers don’t kill each other. That fact becomes undoubtedly true when Wash choses Tucker over Carolina, pointing his gun at her as she threatens Tucker.

Caboose was always a steady presence to the chaos in his head, the gentle giant sometimes being the only reason Tucker didn’t fall apart at the seams while he cried his fears into his chest, but Wash is a different kind of support that Tucker didn’t know he needed, one he doesn’t think he’s ever had.

It doesn’t stop him from getting that itch in his skin when he’s surrounded by strangers, it doesn’t stop the sick feeling he gets when he wakes up from a nightmare, it doesn’t make everything better.

But Tucker thinks, kind of incredulously, that maybe he can finally be safe with these two by his side. Maybe, just maybe, he can really let his guard down and have someone else watch his back.

Maybe he can finally let someone in.

[correctrvbquotes]

Cut back to the Blues... except for Simmons

Tucker: Oh-hohohoh, man. I'm gonna die.

Alien: Blargh arg-honk, largh, lwargh.

Caboose: What's he saying now Andy?

Andy: Look guy, if you want me to translate for ya, you can't keep asking me every four seconds, what's he sayin' now Andy, what's he sayin' now? I'm gonna tell you what he's sayin', that's my freakin' job!

Caboose: That's what he said? That's a weird thing to say. Uh, tell him I said okay, I will not ask any, more of uh... that and also, no.

Church: I think I need a translator just for Caboose.

Alien: Wuarrrrgh!

Andy: Okay basically he's uh, he says he's pissed off.

Church: Oh rea- yea- no kidding. Tex, are we paying for this service?

Tex: Just give him a chance.

Alien: Blargh, largh, wahublargh.

Andy: He says he came to claim some type of thing, and that the teal one took the thing...

Alien: Blarg blaargh.

Andy: And that now the thing is gone.

Tucker: Who's the teal one?

Tex: You are, idiot.

Tucker: No way, I'm aqua. Teal's out.

Church: That thing that he's talkin' about must be that sword, and it's not broken it's right there.

Alien: Argh blargh!

Andy: He says it only works with the hero who passes the trial of the windmill, and retrieves it from his resting place. For everyone else, it might as well be broken.

Tex: Uh oh.

Tucker: Trial? Please, I fell in a hole, that's not a trial. I'm startin' to like this culture though, any dude who trips is a hero. I'm pretty sure that makes Caboose God.

Church: This all sounds like bullshit to me.

Tex: No he's right. It didn't work for me, remember?

Church: Of course it didn't work for you, you're a girl. Means you can't even work the entertainment center back at the base. Doesn't mean the remote control is mythically attached to us.

Tex: Alright then you little smartass, you pick it up and try it.

Church looks at the sword, then at the alien.

Alien: (silently chuckling) Hur hur hur hur.

Church: Nah, I'll take his word for it.

Alien: Blargh blurg blabu blarg.

Andy: And now you gotta go with him, to fulfill the prophecy.

Tucker: Fuck you.

Alien: Blar blarg blargh, hnnk hnnk!

Andy: Heh heh heh, good one. Uh oh yeah, he... he's not too thrilled about it either.

Tucker: See I knew this was a bad idea. Sorry to fuck up your quest, dude, but I'm not goin'.

Andy: Aaand if you don't go, he'll destroy the base, and kill everybody here.

Church: ...Alright well have fun guys.

Tex: Hey a quest sounds fun, come on Tucker!

Andy: Aheh, I think he should stay here, 'cause, I like that killin' everybody option.

[glitterdragonthegreatprotector]

Another wip, just need the wisemen

[leonardalphachurch]

this is the main cast of kids:

Theodore Theta Dakota - child of Leonard L. Church and Oliver “North” Dakota [seperated]

Junior Tucker - child of Lavernius Tucker and CB (dead)

Charles Palomo - child of— haha what does that matter? he’s living it up at the tucker’s place he’s fiiiiine

James Biff Jr. - child of Georgina Biff and James Biff (dead), nephew of Mark Temple

these are supporting/characters im less sure of:

Lopez Brown II - child of Sheila Brown and Lopez Brown (i might give them a better last name later lol i just needed a placeholder for now)

Katie Jensen - niece of Dick Simmons (who is the parents? maaaaybe she’s just his way younger sister? why would she have a different last name… actually nonsense question simmons dad definitely walked out on him and he was raised by a step father what am i talking about. theoretically simmons is so trans to me i could have him also just be her father but uh. uhh. simmons is not being pregnant lmao. the idea of church lasting a full pregnancy is already a fuckin stretch here okay. WAIT OKAY. jensen is his half sibling but it’s not with his mother and step dad it’s with his father and step mother. sorry he got a new family he like a better than youuuu. so is his fathers name simmons or jensen……. i don’t know lol)

Antoine Bitters - child of Kaikaina Grif, nephew of Dexter Grif (theoretically i could give grif some random woman that he knocked up but that feels. icky idk why. kai going through on her decision not to get an abortion and grif having to step into help raise sometimes makes sense to me… idk why he has his fathers last name tho. i guess his father is chill and in the picture? i guess he could also be their younger brother. i feel like i can only do that with one of them tho lol)

Eta and Iota Church - child of Carolina Church and York Church [divorced] (those wouldn’t be their final names obviously lol. i think york takes her last name tho)

Matthews - i don’t care about his parents but he’s dating bitters maybe kimball? i guess? or she can be volleyballs mom. actually.

Valerie “Volley” Grey-Kimball - child of Dr. Emily Grey and Vanessa Kimball (why not. let’s go crazy let’s go stupid. i don’t actually have any opinions about this ship i just think she should get cool lesbian moms.)

do doc and donut get children. i don’t think so i think they’re like. the cool gay uncles. caboose also doesn’t have a child but he does have a dog. i guess smith can be his nephew also. he has a lot of sisters

the main four are set in stone and basically but if you’ve got ideas for any other characters or better ideas for the ones i have here i’m all ears