asphodeldreams

[asphodeldreams]

[asphodeldreams]

How to befriend (and keep) your favorite internet stars 🥰

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Today I encountered an especially pathetic Italian greyhound. His owner told me that a gust of wind once blew him into a lake.

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Here's a fun story of malicious compliance to brighten your day:

Until recently, a few people in my office had these desk shades to combat the obnoxious fluorescent lights, which is very helpful for people (like me) with migraines or other light-sensitivity issues.

A few days ago, everyone who has them was told to take them down. Different people were given different reasons - It violates fire code (it doesn't) / It blocks line of sight (sort of?). Since this goes against the existing status quo, the union reps (my beloved) jumped on it. Someone jokingly suggested using umbrella hats instead, since hats are allowed in the dress code. Today, the union reps are passing out these ridiculous things in protest:

If the rules are absurd, the resistance should match.

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Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.

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"He held me, Chara. He held me with tears in his eyes saying 'There, there. Everything is going to be alright.'"

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my thing i haven’t made is so good 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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My sister: If you could go back in time and participate in any historical event, what would it be?

Me, not even blinking and knowing damn sure she has no idea what I'm talking about: The Ides of March

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Birds building nests in unconventional locations, unknowingly generating breathtaking symbolism and visual art > literally anything hollywood can hope to achieve

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doodles from last night. I hate him he's the worst

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And if we're gonna talk about the hiatus and why Dan left… I mean sure I was a bit burnt out, I wanted some time to do some other stuff, but for a minute there I genuinely felt like I would almost rather stop doing this forever than keep being in that situation.

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not all ships are For wanting them to be in a happy healthy relationship together. sometimes shipping two characters means you want them to be erotically obsessed with each other and become entwined in a mutually toxic love affair for a few months and then horrifically break each other's hearts and never speak again. sometimes you want them to be codependent best friends with enough repression to explode a submarine who only make out/have sex when they're at their worst. sometimes you want them to pine after each other for years, never say anything, and then die. sometimes you want them to kill each other. this, too, is shipping

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Parks patron: hey what are you gonna do about that graffiti?

Me: it's on the side of a business building, so the business owner has to take initiative

Patron: but it's visible from the trails!

Me: it is not on our property, so it falls on the owner of the business.

Patron: don't you have a graffiti task force?

Me: no, sir.

Patron: when I lived in Georgia we had a graffiti task force that would take care of that.

Me: we do not have that here.

Patron: you'd think the parks and rec people would take care of graffiti in their parks.

Me: we do. This is not on a park. It is on a business.

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congrats @danielhowell & @amazingphil on an epic world tour!! i got to see the show twice IRL (you signed my gamingmas poster at the London matinee show and I'll always be greatful) and made a lot of good memories <3

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i think people get so used to their own creative work that they forget how amazing it is so i’m making this post as a reminder You are the only person capable of making art the exact way you make it. nobody else on earth can do that. there are always going to be those little habits and intricacies and details that simply cannot be replicated whether it’s in writing or painting or textiles and you make life all the better for it i love my friends’ art i love art from strangers im trying to love my own art I LOVE YOU!!! THE PERSON READING THIS!!!!!!! YOU ARE A PART OF THIS WORLD NEVER EVER STOP MAKING THINGS THAT CAN IMPACT IT