#Crowley can't win

[sunderwight]

Thinking about the weird camaraderie that exists between demons but not angels in GO.

Have we ever seen two angels who are actually friends? Or even friendly to one another? We have met angels with a capacity to be friendly in general, but I think the closest we've come to two angels actually getting along would be Gabriel making a point to laugh at Sandalphon's terrible "can't have a war without War" line in S1.

Most scenes between the angels actually seem to have an undercurrent of absolute hostility. Teeth-clenched teamwork. No wonder it took them so long to notice that Aziraphale wasn't on the same page as the rest of them! The rest of them are barely on the same page as one another, either! When Gabriel goes against the majority vote, no one bats an eye at demoting him and wiping his memory. Michael and Uriel immediately begin vying for his job. The only times we've seen angels team up is when they're working together to bully someone else, like when they're trying to intimidate Aziraphale in S1 or going to the aftermath of the bookshop raid in S2.

Saraqael's overall neutrality towards Muriel is the closest we get to two angels in Heaven getting along, and it's more a lack of hostility than any kind of friendliness. At least until Gabriel loses his memories and Muriel shows up to spy on Aziraphale, and Aziraphale decides to be kind to both of them.

Demons, on the other hand, actually seem to form alliances and even friendships among one another. Hastur and Ligur are awful, but Hastur seems genuinely distraught over Ligur's death, not just fearful of suffering the same fate. Shax and Furfur conspire together and even though the 1940's investigation into Crowley's fraternizing doesn't work out for Furfur, it's not due to any double-crossing on Shax's part. Unlike the angels, who stick almost exclusively to making threats until the Metatron decides to try dangling a carrot at the end of the season, demons actually offer rewards to other demons when trying to work together. Beelzebub offers Crowley a promotion if he can bring them Gabriel, Furfur offers to back Shax up politically if she goes for the Duke position opening, and Crowley successfully stalls Hastur in S1 by pretending everything was a test and he's going to be put in charge of a legion as a reward for passing. They're still not great at socializing, but they're significantly ahead of the angels.

Of course, it's a fact that demons are awful to one another (Eric's treatment is really bad, they throw that random demon into holy water just to test it, "it'd be a funny world if demons went around trusting one another", etc) but they still seem more capable of forming friendships than the angels do.

I think that's because Hell cramps and crowds everyone together to try and increase their suffering and hostility, whereas Heaven isolates angels to decrease the odds of questioning or rebellion. Hell's methods are unpleasant, but it still ends up putting demons together, and some of those demons inevitably forge alliances and make friendships. Because as Crowley and Beelzebub demonstrate, demons are still social creatures with the capacity for love and affection, even if it's strongly discouraged and buried under nine million layers of trauma and a cultural mandate against kindness.

Angels are the same, but isolation makes is harder to form connections than overcrowding. Muriel and Jimbriel are both so eager to make friends, but Muriel's spent the past millennia shut in an empty office, and Gabriel has been distanced from his peers both through his position and also through Heaven's culture of fear and surveillance. He only breaks away from it when he finds something that's stronger than "choosing sides" (stronger than the fear of being rejected by Heaven and Falling, in fact strong enough that Falling seems worth it if he gets to be with someone he loves). Both Muriel and Gabriel are only able to start forming connections when they're away from Heaven.

I just think it's interesting that demons, despite being supposedly devoid of love, have an advantage in forming relationships compared to angels. Angels are supposed to love, but have far fewer opportunities to actually do so. Demons aren't supposed to love, but they make connections anyway.

[fearandhatred]

C by fearandhatred (6k words, 1/1 chapters)

Crowley's time with Jesus dredges up an old wooden box of memories 3000 years past—a flood, a reckoning, and lives lost. And in the box are two other things, one of which is a braided lock of her own hair, straw-like from dried-up rainwater, and hacked off violently and unevenly at the edges.

*don cheadle voice* boom, you looking for this?

it is finally here... the mesopotamia–golgotha fic! this is intended as a sequel to my golgotha fic, via dolorosa. also if you see the very tiny stitches of colour on his clothes and on the C in this drawing... they're surprise tools that will help us later :)

please go check out the wonderful art my beloved @knifeforkspooncup made for me!! i have probably racked up five hours of screen time just looking at it if we're being honest here. thank you loml <3

also this idea came my way because of this post and the lovely (life ruining) additions by @idliketobeatree and @eybefioro. this fic is for u two <3 (i also eventually realised that my original post was factually incorrect but hey it birthed this fic so! happy accidents!)

[orth82]

Big love to all of you. Here's a picture of the husbands at home, loving on each other on a crisp autumn afternoon 🍁

Full image here 🪽

[idliketobeatree]

No more jokes. If S3 doesn't give me canon ineffable wives I'm gonna tell your kids they were fem!Aziraphale and Crowley

(God knows.)

[lenaellsi]

On archangels and Crowley's former rank in good omens 2:

Thought I'd do a brief post putting together my updated view on Heaven's archangel hierarchy, based on both this post by Neil and the lore drops in season 2.

"I wasn't the original concept designer, but I worked very closely with upstairs." "You know how God likes sevens." "The kind of miracle only the mightiest of archangels could have performed." "How do you know I didn't do it?" "That arch traitor Crowley--" "I am the only first order archangel in the room--or, you know, the universe--" (extended cut to Crowley) "You'd have to be a Throne, a Dominion, or above." "He always did want to go his own way. Always asking damn fool questions." "Let there be light."

Proposed hierarchy of good omens archangels:

First Order: Gabriel (former); Lucifer, now Satan (former); [REDACTED], now Crowley (former); Aziraphale (current, replacement)

Second Order: Michael; Uriel (higher than the others, but beneath the first order archangels)

Third Order: Saraqael (she defers to Michael and Uriel in her first scene, but is important enough to be present at Gabriel's trial); Sandalphon (Neil has referred to him as a 'lesser archangel')

Points of confusion:

"For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story. For it to happen twice makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem."

This quote is almost certainly referring to Lucifer. Obviously this cuts against the theory that Crowley was a first order archangel, though idk what was up with the editing in that scene if that's the case. They cut to him immediately after Gabriel says the line.

Baraqiel. Dominion. Angel of the Sky. Appearance: Hair an eye-burning jinnjer. Eyebrows with the appearance of a grisly slug. Often draped in red. Occashunly damp, most likely singed.

Lots of people have been talking about this page from Furfur's angel spotting guide:

I'm of the opinion that this probably (though it's possible) wouldn't be in the prop book and shown for so long on screen if it wasn't A Clue. The page would've looked fine with just Aziraphale's information. Entirely possible that it's just hinting at a new character for season 3, but the description sounds enough like Crowley that I'm suspicious. (Eye-burning ginger.)

Of course, this cuts against the archangel Crowley theory, but all we know for sure is that he was a Throne or Dominion or above. It's possible that I'm just reading too much into all the other hints that seem to point to him being an archangel. (Though for what it's worth, Baraqiel is known as an archangel outside of Good Omens canon, and is also known as "lightning of God," which is very interesting in a season where Crowley summons both a tempest and a bolt of lightning.)

Would love to hear what people think! I know a million people have been talking about this, I just wanted to organize my own thoughts.

[winepresswrath]

My dearest and most ardent hope for season three is for Gabriel to learn what a pick me is specifically so he can call Crowley a pick me. I like to imagine that Shax does not know what a pickme is but has watched Grey's Anatomy so she can chime in with a sarcastic "oooohhh pick me choose me love me" at the crucial moment.

[consulting-ghosts]

I just finished Good Omens 2 and it was amazing but for god sake Aziraphael WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY????? I kind of know, but still... Whyyy?

I mean Crowley really grow on me this season. He's such a big softie who get hurt badly do he puts on this demon face as a protection, but you can see it on all od this moments when he cares about people that he doesn't even knowing. He was such a softie as an angel.

I love them both but the ending broke me...

Waning for the spoilers in the tags.

[plumipal]

The Tattoo (part three)

After scarabias overblot, and seeing what Ace and Deuce were willing to do for you, you were so touched that you decided to get them tattooed on your body as a small heart and a spade. After that chaos ensues-

If you wanna read the whole prolouge, then it's here

Oh poor Idia, where do we even start for him?... poor guy is absolutely shattered as soon as he saw those two tattoos on you through the cameras. He felt his entire reason to live just shatter. He feels his entire world collapsing in on itself. He completely just, breaks down, sobbing to himself on the floor trying to rationalise how the tattoos were not real, to try to keep his sanity in tact.

The days after that disastrous breakdown, he has been stuck in bed, too depressed to frankly do anything but to sulk. He had not eaten, not drank enough, and his personal hygiene is downright awful.

Once Ortho has convinced him to get up because crowley demanded him to actually attend his classes or it's byebye NRC for Idia, his pity for himself has turned into rage. Whenever he sees the dumb duo he can't help but to want to do anything against them, he sure would LOVE to doxx them...

But after some reconciderence from Ortho (statistics show he would be one of the top suspects for it and therefore make the prefect hate him even more (he believes)) he instead chose to take care of himself, putting actual effort in how he looks as to win you over with that. He sure hope it works, please...

Don't think ortho is just hyping up his brother, cuz he is sure helping on the sidelines. Digging up info the students don't want anyone to know abour sure is easy when you have unlimited internet access (and some illegal ways to obtain the info)

That's the easy way of getting students away from you, but getting you trapped up with them is almost just as easy. He starts calling you his siblings as well, subtly telling you how you and idia would be the greatest siblings ever to him, even backing up and glorifying hos brother in your eyes, anything it takes to get you to chose idia.... you will all be a happy family....

Sebek, for once in his life, is stunned to silence. He cant quite grapple the thoughts and feelings swirling within him is making him feel quite sick, making him quiet for the rest of the day..

Once classes has ended, he bolts over to his dorm only to dramatically lock himself in his dorm room and let out the worst crying session ever. He is sobbing,

The whole ordeal and emotions results in him having the need to constantly watch over you, as a way to show that he too can protect you, he can be there for you, just like ace and Deuce, but better! Please, he needed you, he needs you to need him too, please...

Silver don't quite know what to think about this. He cant blame you, the heroic stunts of your friends sure are nice, but why with something so permanent? He could do what they did and so much more for you, give him an opportunity and he will show you.

After "the talk" the four of them had, he has had a hard time sleeping for the first time in his life. He feels exhausted yet can't close his eyes, pictures of you happily being with ace and Deuce clouding his poor exhausted brain. He will take this on the only way he knows, a duel for your love and your hand.

You're not dumb either, you see how tired he had been and the lack of sleep he has been getting, and feeling bad for him you let him sleep on tou if that would help him. He takes this opportunity and sure is greedy with it, wanting more and more sleep time with you. It's one way to claim you, and at the moment it's enough for him, but don't think he won't demand more in the soon future..

Lilia feels heartbroken. First that the prefect, his beloved, has shown this love that he would love to have for someone else (especially two people), it breaks his heart. What breaks his heart even more is how he needs to go against his own sons for his beloved too. But he will do whatever it takes to secure you for himself.

When he meets you after hearing about the tattoo, he tries act as normal as possible, not wanting to scare you away with his desperation. Despite that though, he will also try to advance, because he is NOT losing to all these youngsters, he's old enough to know exactly how to treat someone right. Let him treat your right, please, he begs of you....

Malleus feels like there's a storm inside him, getting worse by every second he thinks about that forsaken tattoo you have. He activately tries to think less about it, not wanting the whole school to be stuck in a storm for weeks, especially when you're situated in that poor awful old and decrepid building. He will try to smite ace and Deuce if he has the choise to though-

After the anger dies down, that's when the sadness flows in. The fact that he was not your favorite, that he was not worth his own tattoo, frankly brings him to tears. He has never been denied something in his life, especially something that he wants so badly. It's a foreign feeling, and a horrible one at that.

He is an attention hungry dragon, give him what he wants and he will give you the world without question. Just, please, give him the love and affection he both crave and deserves...

Chat, im tired. Let me sleep- FINALLY THIS SERIES IS FINISHED! or so I thought- o will focus on other comics/ideas before I come back for the endings tho, because I kinda wanna do other stuff and not just the tattoo shenanigans yknow :) one again huge thanks to @artdolliewishes for lots of support and help lmao

I hope yall enjoyed this shitshow of a series atleast, was lots of fun to create after all

[harunayuuka2060]

Grim: Oi, Hench-human! Crowley hasn’t handed over our monthly allowance yet!

MC: Yeah? So what?

Grim: We need money!

MC: ...Grim, *sigh* do we actually need it? I mean the allowance he's giving us?

Grim: Of course! We won't survive in this school without the money!

MC: Okay. Then let me ask you.

MC: You really think all the food you've been eating—this morning and for the past weeks—came from our allowance?

Grim: Yeah?

MC: Huh.

Grim: What?

MC: Nothing.

Crowley: You are gambling!

MC: ...

MC: So?

Crowley: A student of Night Raven College is expected to act responsibly at all times. Receiving news that someone from this institution is gambling away their allowance is entirely unacceptable!

MC: *raises an eyebrow* You done?

Crowley: *acts hurt* I provided you with a home and an allowance to cover your basic needs, and this is how you choose to repay my kindness?

MC: Yeah, sure. I could literally report you for exploitation and child endangerment, but hey, I don't count because I'm not from here, right?

Crowley: ...

Crowley: *clears throat* In any case, developing an addiction to casino games is unhealthy.

MC: Maybe, but I'm always winning, so I can't completely agree with you.

Crowley: ...Excuse me?

[wonderlandcrown]

𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑀𝑦 𝑃𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒

𝑉𝑖𝑙 𝑥 𝑌𝑢𝑢(𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟)

a/n : book 5 spoilers, also Vil didn't know Jamil overbloted until book 6. reader is gn and referred to as "Yuu, the prefect, you, they/them pronouns"

genre : light angst, romance(pining)

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛💜♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

Someday my prince will come Someday I'll find my love And how thrilling that moment will be When the prince of my dreams comes to me He'll whisper, "I love you" And steal a kiss or two Though he's far away I'll find my love someday Someday when my dreams come true

Vil was reluctant to stay in Ramshackle during VDC, "A messy room equals a messy mind", is what he tells his dorm mates. Though he understood that the prefect didn't choose to stay there, Vil Schoenheit was never a fan of unclean spaces.

But Vil had bigger problems at the moment, Neige will undoubtedly show up for the competition, and his dream- no, his goal will be in jeopardy.

The headmage did say that the prefect was quite talented in bringing people together...

Fine then, if staying in a dingy dorm means having a chance at winning against Neige, he'll do it.

"How thrilling, " Vil thought, "will my moment of victory be."

Someday I'll find my love Someone to call my own And I'll know him the moment we meet For my heart will start skipping a beat Some day we'll say, "I do" Things we've been longing to Though he's far away I'll find my love someday Someday when my dreams come true

Vil noticed the scars around the prefects hands, undoubtedly the result of going through no less than 3 overblots, not to mention all of them happened under a year!

Vil scoffs, Crowley must be more incompetent than he thought if he allowed a poor defenseless student to get caught up in so much trouble; or is it Yuu who is careless?

He originally saw you akin to something like a pathetic wet cat : lost, clueless, naive.

Though he'll admit he was quite wrong, your occasional sharp jabs towards the trio of potatoes(Ace, Deuce and Grim) didn't go unnoticed by Vil. He thinks you're quite funny, you act so brazenly and sarcastic around your friends but around strangers you suddenly become quiet and well spoken, you remind him of the difference of his personalities on camera and off.

Though that's the only thing he and you have in common.

Vil remembers perfectly well the glare Yuu shot at him when he cursed the delicacies Trey gifted the younger spudlings. It was a necessary measure! You're smarter than your friends, you should understand that they would've tried to break away from the diet Vil gave them.

Vil doesn't understand, he doesn't understand those potatoes, didn't they agree to this? Don't they want to win? If they do they should listen to him, he knows what's best, he's been trained for countless competitions since he was young, these diets, these restrictions have been imposed onto him ever since then and they will be forevermore.

For them, it'll only be a moment before they're back to their normal lives, so why can't they understand? Vil understood ever since he was young, so why can't they?

He's been longing for the chance to stay on stage until the very last moment, so why can't Yuu just do what he says and help those idiots cooperate with him.

Vil pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, he shouldn't dwell on unnecessary things for too long, lest he stray from his goal.

Somewhere waiting for me There is someone I'm longing to see Someone I simply can't help but adore Someone who'll thrill me forever

"Hey, uh, can we discuss something? "

It was already late afternoon, Epel had screamed at Vil and ran away from the dorm and one of your friends, Deuce, he remembers, ran after him. But they haven't been back.

He lets out a sigh, not bothering to hide his frustration.

"What is it?" Vil turns to face you, usually during the breaks between the VDC groups training, you pass around water bottles and some snacks(not cursed by Vil this time). Though this time you carry nothing, it's expected, the rest of the group only have a break because two of the members ran off to who knows where.

"I think you're being too harsh on them. " Vil scoffs, "Excuse me? They're the ones being too careless, they're not serious enough. " Vil glares at you, nose scrunched. You betray his expectations, really, he expected you to be more mature about this.

You only look at him in the eyes as a response, he notices your tense frame, you must've been planning to tell him this for a while now.

"..Epel ran away." Vil lifts an eyebrow, "And? Are you just here to state the obvious?" He hears you click your tongue, you're irritated with him? Why must you be so mean to him, prefect, all he wants is to win, is that so much to ask for?

"Look, I understand your efforts, what you do to achieve your dreams is commendable, really, "

Dreams? How dare you use such a childish word, the Vil Schoenheit doesn't dream, he has no time for that.

"but you need to realize that not everyone can handle, well, you. We want to win, obviously but uh, you're already so accustomed to this type of stuff but we're not.."

Hm? Oh, prefect, you're flattering him, so you're saying that he's so glamorous to the point that the normal spudlings can't even begin to compare?... Vil's kidding obviously, but the compliment has made him more inclined to listen to you.

"Dear prefect, I may see your point.. Though you must realize that diamonds are created under pressure, and the headmage has been far too lenient." You sigh, brows furrowed, "Tell me about it.. Again, you're not wrong, there are limits. Even the seemingly strong gems can crack if they have internal flaws."

My, isn't this new.. Prefect, it's been quite the long time since someone dared to question him, in such an interesting way no less.. Most people either agree with no objections or slander his views vehemently (Rook and Epel, Vil's looking at you) Congratulations are in order for managing to intrigue Vil of all people.

You're confused on why Vil's smiling, so.. fondly at you, did you do something wrong?

"Prefect, if you don't mind, how do you feel about joining my nightly routine tomorrow, I think you have many interesting topics to share with me."

Someday my prince will come Someday I will find the one Though he's far away he'll find my love someday Someday when my dreams come true Oh, please make my dreams come true

"The winner of VDC is.. ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY, LED BY THE ONE AND ONLY NEIGE LEBLANCHE!"

The crowd cheers endlessly, Vil feels his heart grow heavy with that same, twisting, horrendously ugly feeling of envy. His feet feel like they're on fire and Vil has to pretend the camera flashes are irritating him in order to blink back the tears.

It's ok, it's fine, the loser has to fall and Vil feels like he's been plummeting since then, now, and perhaps forevermore.(please don't let it be so)

It's even worse when Neige pulls him into an encore, his hand pressing on one of the bruises on his arm, a scar gained from his overblot. But Vil's heart only winces when he thinks of you, he thinks of your scars, you must have so many, you've been through so much..

Vil is so, so sorry, he wants to cry and beg for your forgiveness, for Rook's, for Epel's, for everyone's forgiveness. What he did was so stupidly immature, how could he just betray his own expectations, everyone expected Vil Schoenheit to be level headed, mature, and beautiful. So why? Why must he be everything except that?

Everything after his overblot was a blur, really. He thought his career would go up on smoke, everything he worked for would've been gone. Vil stared at his phone, waiting for a ping from his manager, informing him that his overblot, his weakest moment, was leaked for the whole world to see. Vil sits at the vanity, normally he would be staring into his reflection, but now he can't even bear the thought of looking at the mirror.

Suddenly he was met with a knock on his door.

"I'm not expecting visitors, if it's not urgent then go find Rook, or the prefect."

"Vil, I am the prefect."

Vil immediately sits up right, brushing away the few strands of stray hair, before inviting you in. "Come on in."

You quickly slip inside his room, closing the door behind you with a click, Vil tilts his head, usually he would never do this, unbefitting of the mature image of Vil Schoenheit, but since it's you, he finds himself at ease without putting on his performative mask. "I see you want privacy, is it personal?"

"Yeah, I.. wanted to see how you're doing. " Vil doesn't hold back the bittersweet smile, "You really are kind, don't worry about me, you should've ran away when you saw me overblot, why didn't you?"

Why didn't you? You should've ran away the moment you saw blot dripping from his lips and eyes, yet you stayed, you stayed during his overblot and all the others. Vil wants to know, how is one person so caring yet sarcastic, so plain yet so interesting, so normal yet.. Vil feels like he's never met someone like you before.

"Why didn't I? What kind of question is that, the better question is how could I leave a friend during his weakest moments?"

See? Caring yet sarcastic, Vil giggles at your response, "You should know when to stop helping people, dear. One day you'll get irreversibly wounded and there's nothing I could do to help you at that point." Vil's tone is light, though he feels an aching sensation when he imagines a fatally wounded Yuu.

You sigh, taking a step closer to Vil, "I'm not that weak, so don't think of stuff like that." The housewarden of Pomefiore only gives a tired smile, plain yet so interesting, he thinks. You're a magicless being somehow willed with such tenacity that befits the values of the Beautiful Queen, Vil might be inclined to take a few lessons from you.

It takes a while before Vil notices you're staring at him, you look at him as if you were looking at a poor, caged animal. "..Is there something else you want to tell me?" You don't respond, you only continue to look at him, at his clothes, at his hair, then you stare at him in the eye.

Vil feels a lump form in his throat, you're looking at him in such a humane way, not the lovesick expressions usually adorned on his fans, not the scowls of jealousy from the haters. You look at him as if you see something beyond the masks he wears.

Unlike what most people think, Vil Schoenheit actually has two masks, one he adorns when the camera rolls, which from there he has many others to choose from. The second he wears to retain the strict and regal image of Pomefiore, the one who rules this dorm with an iron fist, where he is both hated and loved.(not that much different from his career)

But you, you're looking at none of the two, he never saw anyone else other than his own father and Rook wear this expression. Someone who sees beyond what is presented to them.

"You're tired." Vil finally hears you say something, "I'll go draw you a bath." Your words were authoritative and left no room for arguement, it reminds Vil of himself. As the actor watches you walk into his bathroom he feels a warm sensation course through him, it's been quite the long time since he was the one on the receiving end of these affections.

No, affections is too intimate a word, but Vil can't think of any other way to describe it.

You can't see his expression now, prefect, but do know that you made Vil Schoenheit of all people cover his face to hide his blush and smile. So normal yet Vil's never met anyone else like you.

Vil hears the sound of water flowing coming from the bathroom, he hopes you finish your task soon, Vil has never felt what yearning for another's presence was like until now.

Vil already has his hunter and poison apple, so tell him what you'll be? What role will you take on to complete the Beautiful Queen's camaraderie? Will you be his raven, dutiful, working from the shadows; or his mirror : showing him what you see, beyond what Vil presents himself to be.

Vil shall wait for your answer, prefect.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬

a/n : someday my prefect will come - vil schoenheit. first fanfic tbh, there were pacing issues but I don't think it's that bad for a first timer. reblogs are appreciated

edit : chapter 2(not a continuation of this) is out now, go on my blog and search the tag "the songs of love", also you can tell me in the reblogs or comments if you wanna be tagged for chapter 3

[knifeforkspooncup]

Crowley and Aziraphale don't need a quiet retirement in the countryside.

What they really need is for their South Downs cottage to be part of an HOA and spend the rest of their existences facing a common enemy of powertripping geriatric citizens and nosy neighbours.

I want 10 seasons of Crowley's plans for a carnivorous garden being turned down and him going scorched earth on the head of the HOA comittees' award winning Dhalia patch. I want 10 seasons of Aziraphale sniffing out HOA policy loopholes like a truffle pig or maliciously complying when he can't get out of something.

[katfell]

Why is it okay

for Crowley to try and reason with God

But not for Aziraphale?

Why is it okay

(presumably) for Crowley to try and change things

But not for Aziraphale?

Why are people upset with Aziraphale for not responding to Crowley's confession and distress

But not care that Aziraphale looks terrified out of his wits and Crowley never asks what's wrong?

I couldn't find the exact gif I wanted, but anyway, he keeps looking out and looks like a deer in headlights, or whatever the saying is, absolutely manic with fear.

And anyways, why are both their 'break ups' always described as if they were entirely Aziraphale's doing and fault?

As if all his decisions were inherently wrong. Whatever he does is wrong, even if it brings a good result. He just can't win.

So, that's what I got from today's browsing. Just more Aziraphale hate and misunderstanding of how hard he loves and how hard he tries in a world set against him.

[twstwizard]

You may not have magic, but you do have these guns💪

You're a bodybuilder/deadlifter

Type: Headcanons, SFW, Platonic or Romantic (Vargas is platonic here)

Characters: Azul Ashengrotto; Epel Felmier; Idia Shroud; Ashton Vargas

AN: Yes, let me be delusional and pretend that I'm buffer then I really am.

Epel Felmier

-This wasn't fair! Well, technically it was since you couldn't do magic but still, it should've been him! Epel is jealous, there's no other way of putting this.

-While envious of your physic, he won't go out of his way to rub it in your face that at least he can do magic. In fact he'll ask about the training routines you do and will actively seek you out as a gym buddy. Felmier won't rest until he surpasses you!

- Sooner rather then later the two of you might also develop a "student-trainer" relationship in addition to the one you already have. While the young man must listen to Vil, he wants to learn from you. All the ways you can help muscles grow, not to mention exercises, some of which he never even heard of before!

- All gyms and muscle masses aside, your presence genuinely helps Epel to feel better not only about himself, but also reminds him that his dorm is still not the end. If you built yourself without magic and keep building yourself even now, when you basically have nothing, so can Epel.

Idia Shroud

-ECK!- NOT ANOTHER TANK!

-Idia is intimidated in a best way possible, the ShutIn must tip his metaphorical fedora to the amount of time it must've taken you to build up such mass.

- During PE classes he envies you the most, while simultaneously trying to use you as a meat shield against Vargas. The young man will actually partner up with you in the class just so you could pretend to do exercises together. You must understand, he is but a Shut In, he can't do those sit ups...

- If you offer to help him get in shape the Otaku will heavily decline, even being insulted by the notion. But Dance Dance Revolution is a whole different thing- Tricking Idia into doing cardio is easier then you might think, or rather he partially allows you to. After all not only do you spend time together and do things the two of you enjoy doing simultaneously, but he also gets to win once in a while.

Azul Ashengrotto

- At first he's indifferent. It's not like some other students in NRC don't have big muscle masses. He respects the dedication and the work you put into it nonetheless.

-PE Classes are a struggle though, much like for Idia. It is comforting however, that you also are incapable of flying on the broom, even if for a different reason. Azul will try and copy the stretches and warm-ups you do, but won't actually do the exercises. He's not weak but he's not you either.

- The merman will in fact help you with meals if needed. Balanced diet is something that Azul prides himself upon, it is only natural he helps you as well. All meals will be made by Azul personally.

-Will take notes on how much you lift and how much you consume, so that in the future he'll be exercising along side you to eat more fried foods. Your more carefree consumption of foodie goods helps him to indulge once in a while without feeling shame.

Ashton Vargas

- Congratulations, you're now adopted by a competent parent and not Crowley!

[ira-hydrangea]

OBSESSIVE FANS?! Savanaclaw Edition

Yuu: *Storming into Leona room and ended up breaking his door*

Leona: *looking at the door with one eye open* you paying for that

Yuu: Go to Crowley

Leona: *shrug* fair.

Yuu: I SWEAR YOUR DORM STUDENT ALWAYS HAVE SUCH A STRANGE REQUEST!

Leona: *raise his eyebrow* Aren't you used to it? Consider who your friends is?

Yuu: Quit being snarky about it, anyway handle your people before my pan find it's way to their face

Ruggie: *Pop out holding Leona Laundry* It can't be that bad, right?

Yuu: Yeah? Suddenly showing up in front of my door asking for a fight is not weird?

Ruggie: .... What did they say?

Yuu: if they win, i become their lover and if I win, they give me good money. That I can ignore but what with them holding out the weapon to me just before a fight

Leona: *snort* What kind of weapon that makes you come in here complain to me?

Yuu: .... a whip ...

Leona: ....

Ruggie: ....

Savanaclaw students suddenly found their training schedule changed as they are required to start extra early with twice the practice by Leona

Jack minding his own business but then found out that someone putting a box in Yuu table.

Jack: What are you doing?

Savanaclaw student: Huh?! Mind you own business! And don't you dare touch this got it?! *Leave while snickering*

Jack: .... *Looking at the box and towards the student before using a book and hit it like a baseball towards the box making it go out the windows*

Savanaclaw student: *Saw it and stun*

Jack: What? I didn't touch it. My book is.

Fans 2: Heya, Ruggie, my man. Just who i searched for!

Ruggie: Sup? Mind you, if you have a task for me it will cost you, shi shi

Fans 2: *give Ruggie the money* I give you 500 mandols if you can take Yuu-chan photo for me

Ruggie: Wh-?! You think I will do that kind of things?!

Fans 2: I give you 1.500 mandols

Ruggie: .... The answer still no-

Fans 2: *take out another 1.000*

Ruggie: ....

Later on, the fans get the photo that they want. A picture of the Prefect together with Leona. Actually it is more like Leona's picture with his middle finger out and the only thing visible about the perfect is her back

Leona: *suddenly appear* Enjoy it?

As Leona approaches while cracking his knuckle. Let's just say the fate of that student is... Unknown

Ruggie: Shishishi, he didn't say I can't add another person, right? *Counting the mandols happily*

[obeymeluv]

Food and Friends [Random TWST Boys]

You make food from your world and get the boys to try it. If you can't make it, Sam gets it to you.

Featuring: deviled eggs, fried pickles, and flaming hot cheetos

I haven't read all the vignettes on every card or watched all of the events so I don't know if these foods already exist in Twisted Wonderland but I thought of the food I'd miss. Or ones I think would be kind of hard to explain.

I guess this is like a "Southerner Edition" since I'm from the south lol. Any references to how things are made are just how my family makes them, not the ultimate way to make anything.

Not proofread. Might do that tomorrow.

I. Deviled Eggs

You've been trying to find a way to ease the homesick ache with little success. The school had great food (a surprise, given that Crowley was the headmaster) but nothing like what you were used to. There were things that came close to your favorite foods but nothing was exact. After scrounging up enough money, you stocked your pantry with staples and went to work recreating things.

Ace and Deuce let themselves in when you were in the middle of taking eggs out of an ice bath. Deuce's eyes sparkled as you expertly freed the eggs from their shell prison. He enjoyed basically every style of egg and was not above a plain boiled one. Honestly, he was silently wondering if he could slip you a few thaumarks to eat a few since they were right there and he was here now.

"What are you doing?" Ace squinted at you curiously as you deftly cleaved the egg and scooped the yellow yolk balls into a bowl.

"Making deviled eggs," you replied, arranging the pitted halves to make room for more.

"What's that? Spicy eggs?" he watches you add mayonnaise, yellow mustard, and paprika, mixing and fluffing until there's something creamy in the bowl. He can smell the mustard and it stings his nose just a little.

"No. It's deviled eggs." you laugh, grasping blindly for the nearby cup with a plastic sandwich bag already folded over it. Deuce and Ace look like children, peering at you with big eyes as you taste a bit with a second fork, sprinkling salt and pepper over it before plopping it into the bag. You push and twist the filling down into a corner of said bag before snipping it off.

No one says a word as you paint the hollows with the mix. Sometimes you swirl it into a little heap, sometimes you fan it back and forth so it's flat but no less full. Deuce thinks it's absolutely genius that one egg can make two of these things. He hasn't tried them yet but he's sure he'll like them.

"I can't really explain it. You just have to try it." you pop one in your mouth, pointing a thumb back at the plateful. Ace looks mildly skeptical but you can see the intrigue. Deuce makes the face you usually see when Crewel gives an essay question on an Alchemy test. He's debating on how to pick said egg up; the half is small in his big hand. And slippery.

And Ace's complaining about the filling getting on his finger is right in his ear.

Deuce takes his first bite and it's like heaven in his mouth. You have the tang of the mustard, the creaminess of the mayo, the complimentary fattiness of the yolk and he doesn't think he's tasted anything like it! He lets out an involuntary moan and has no shame, reaching around Ace for another one before he's even swallowed the first.

Ace is on his third and Deuce is gunning for a fourth. You've wisely stolen a few and stepped aside. Living in Twisted Wonderland has given you a sixth sense and something's about to go down.

There's one deviled egg left and they've both realized it.

A small fight ensues and you nearly choke to death when Deuce wins.

When did they even fall to the floor?!

He's jammed Ace against the cabinets, leaning back into him like a chair. You're ninety percent sure one of Ace's arms are pinned to his chest. Ace tries to hook his legs around and kick Deuce, or at the very least kick himself free, but that just makes Deuce push himself up to sit on Ace's shoulder so he can stretch and tangle their legs together. "Get off!" Ace hisses, Deuce's weight forcing him to roll forward.

Deuce ignores him, settling into the flat of his back. He swings his once-tangled leg out in front of him and hums happily, feet now crossed at the ankles.

"Get off!" Ace yells again, kicking his feet.

"Good, right?"

Deuce can't answer you. His cheeks are full.

Who else likes them: Epel, Ruggie, Trey

Who refuses to eat them: Vil, Idia, Leona

--------

II. Fried Pickles

You were glad Twisted Wonderland had pickles but were surprised none of the restaurants offered fried pickles. When you asked Azul if he'd ever put it on the menu he just looked at you like you were crazy. Not unusual for someone who came from the Coral Sea but if fried chicken made sense to him, why didn't fried pickles? Hell, he even knew what fried mozzarella sticks were!

"Because that doesn't seem like something you'd fry?" he adjusted his glasses. It was something he did when he didn't know how to fill the silence in a conversation. The silence was an honest one, too, because what in the sevens were you talking about?

"How can you fry it, anyways? It already comes in liquid." Floyd questioned, interested now. He couldn't quite picture what you were talking about.

"One can generally only fry something in batter and the pickle liquid is not thick enough for frying." Jade observed.

"No one's ever heard of it? Seriously? It can't just be from my world!" you looked between the three mermen. Their blank eyes stared back at you.

"Easy fix. C'mon!" you motioned for them to follow you into the Mostro Lounge kitchen. They abandon their midmorning tea to watch you grab little food gloves and set up your dredging station. You don't know how you did it or when it happened but the Lounge's kitchen became your second kitchen and your preferred seasonings are always at the front of the cabinet. Azul watches you season the flour with spices, adding splashes of buttermilk, pickle juice, and hot sauce until there's something dippable and smooth.

"This is a really common appetizer where I'm from." you explain. "And you can make a lot of it from one pickle. Or a jar of pickle slices."

"Ah. I see," Jade leans over the two plates you've set out beside the flour mix. One is for the handfuls of pickle slices covered in the juice, the other is for slices that have been blotted dry. "The frying is possible because there's no longer a juice film to compete with the batter."

"Pretty much." you shrug. You never imagined someone would want to scientifically analyze the fried pickle process. Then again, it's Jade.

You'd set up a sauce pan with a few inches of oil before they'd entered the kitchen. Once the thermometer went off, you started frying in batches. Azul's stomach turned a little at the sight of oil soaking into the napkins but not out of disgust. He was a sucker for fried chicken and the distinct smell of something fried was making him hungry.

Pickle chips were a blessing and a curse. Small and convenient but dangerous at times like these. A few handfuls made more than fifty fried pickles and you were afraid they'd go to waste. You'd like them, hell yeah, but you were also afraid to get sick from eating so many.

For all his curiosity, Jade was the last one to try it. He kept his eyes locked on Floyd, drinking in every twitch of the brow and crinkle on his face. Floyd munched away happily, sometimes tossing in two or three at a time. Azul tutted and huffed at his burnt lip, nibbling a pocket for the heat to escape so he didn't make the same mistake again.

They were crispy, flavorful, and a bit vinegary with a flash of heat at the end. Definitely something you could eat a lot of without realizing it. Azul wouldn't even let himself question the calories or how much exercise he'd have to do to break even. No, instead he asked you, "How much do people pay for these?"

Who else likes them: Rook, Jack, Ruggie, Cater

Who refuses to eat them: Jamil, Malleus, Sebek

--------

III. Flaming Hot Cheetos

Sam was, admittedly, intrigued by the packaging. Flames and some kind of spotted cat on the bag? Interesting. You told him stories about how kids would pay others to split bags of these at your school. At one point there was a ban on them because teachers got tired of finding red fingerprints on classwork after lunch. They were also tired of kids using them as an excuse to get up for water, trying to stay out of class as long as possible.

He watched you open the bag and briefly forgot you came from a world with no magic. With a name like 'Flaming Hot Cheetos' he thought the bag would give a little cloud of smoke or pop of fire when you opened it. An unusual blend of spices hit his nose and Sam didn't know what to think. Cater peered interestedly into the bag as you pulled out a chip; it was thin, long, and dusted an almost violent red.

Not quite Riddle red, but redder than any chip he'd seen!

His mission to bring Trey jugs of milk and sticks of butter was temporarily forgotten as you began to feast on your other-dimensional treat. You gave Sam one for his troubles--poor fella had to transport and disguise himself and everything--and Cater batted his lashes at you sweetly. He was a mega-lover of spicy things, after all!

Too bad he couldn't post about it on Magicam, though. It'd make for an interesting picture!

It made Sam cough and you thought you saw his eyes water. He thanked you for sharing but quickly refused another one. The shadows pawed at you and slithered up your side, begging, but Sam told you to ignore them. Cater made a happy noise as you passed him one, warning that his fingers would stain red. The boy shrugged, biting down.

Cater didn't know what to think at first. It wasn't a super dense chip but it wasn't airy nothingness, either. There was a crunch but not much substance. Once you bit it, though, your mouth tingled with a rush of heat. It's almost like it dissolved on his tongue! His nose felt like it wanted to run but he didn't care; these things were crunchy and delicious!

"I like these!" he accepted another one, ignoring the temptation to crack open some of the milk and take a swig as the heat lingered. He bought a drink to mellow the burn but didn't regret the taste. "My lips look hot, too," Cater checked his reflection in his phone when his lips started to feel a little funny. They looked plumper and tinted from the spices.

A sexy flushed, just-bitten kind of look!

"They're pretty good," you agree.

Who else likes them: Rook, Lilia, Malleus, Idia

Who refuses to eat them: Jack, Ruggie, Jade, Vil, Riddle, Leona

[colorlessjay]

Epic the musical and Supernatural mesh together so well, it's ridiculous -

Personally I've always imagined it as Cas trying to escape the empty to get back home to Dean, and he has to face a bunch of trials along the way, like confronting Circe (Rowena), finding the blind prophet (Pamela or Kevin), so on and so forth, meanwhile Dean and Jack are back on earth holding out hope he'll come back-

There's more but I don't wanna dump all this on ya' lol, I just saw you mention it in a post and saw an opportunity to give my 2 cents :p

-Jukebox 📼

Jukebox, look at me

I have a vision. I need to communicate telepathically

Remember the Demon Dean arc? Mark of Cain? All that carnage?

You know the Itheca Saga?

Imagine this:

Dean's been having his summer love with Crowley, when he hears word about demons going after Sam. Instead of being apathetic and dismissive, Dean looks into it only to find out that someone within Crowley's circle has somehow found an entrance to the bunker. A way to slip in.

And I want this to be at least two years since Dean disappeared.

He hears about what's happened to Sam, and his instincts to kill kick in. Like how he went after the Frankenstein family after they killed Charlie? Yeah, that energy, but with Sam, because that makes just as much sense. And honestly, if the show wanted more carnage, they should've started here, BUT ANYWAYS

Blah blah plot, that's too many details for me. Cut to the bunker, the demons are out hunting Sam, destroying the bunker room by room in the process

Cue the song "Hold Them Down" as the demons mock Crowley's fondness for the Winchesters and talk about how they will be the ones to take them down.

And just as it hits the last lyrics, the demons are in the library, absolutely desecrating ancient knowledge, an angel blade fucking launches into the back of one Demon's head and kills it

Cue the song "Odysseus" as Dean stands at the archway of the library, gun in one hand. The line "I have had enough" is said before Dean shoots at the ceiling, and the whole bunker goes dark for a second, the lights of the lamps flickering before it all goes out

Carnage

A full massacre happens as Dean hunts down every demon, closing off the bunker so no one can get in or out. Meanwhile, Sam tries to deal with the ones who were still after him. Even with a broken arm, he's holding his own, but they outnumber him

And I need Sam to watch as Dean lets the demon in his take over and protect his brother

After the chaos, we cue in "I Can't Help but Wonder" as Sam and Dean reunite. Fuck you, power of love and brotherhood WINS. I need Sam to just tell Dean how he never stopped trying to find him again, that he's not making the same mistake like when Dean got sent to purgatory. How he always hoped Dean would come home again.

Dean saying he's proud of Sam, that Sam grew into his own hunter, that he's been doing good, and that he did miss him, he just didn't want to come home a monster. But he's back now, and they hug, and it's sweet

And Sam says he has to go tell Cas

And then we cue to "Would You Fall in Love with Me Again"

Cas gets the call that Dean is back, as Cas was already driving back to the bunker when he got the SOS

The bunker door opens

Dean says Cas' name

And Cas can't help but stare as he walks down the stairs hesitantly. Cause he sees Dean's demon form, but he can still see remnants of his soul in there too

"Is it you? Have my prayers been answered?"

Cas is looking Dean over, trying to see past the demon while Dean gets a look at Cas' true form for the first time

Dean says he's not the righteous man Cas knew. That he's not the same man. That his sins run so much deeper now than ever before, and he's beyond who Cas can even consider a friend

Cas asks what he's done, and Dean just tells Cas about every regret and pain he's had. How he feels irredemable before he doesn't feel bad about everything he's done. How a part of him left and did it for his family's safety. And he asks Cas if he'd still take Dean back

words words that someone smarter and more literate than me will figure out

Cas tells (confesses) to Dean that he'll love him over and over again, no matter what. That he's still the same person. He'll always be Dean, and that Cas has been waiting for him to come home

Cinematic rotating shot of their POVs with Cas' true form and Dean's demon form wrapping around each other as their physical bodies hug, forehead to forehead

Dean "How long has it been?"

Cas "Too long"

And then Sam is waiting in the kitchen, waiting for them to finish

fuck this was badly written. No one read this