#Craig doesn’t wear much because he ‘doesn’t care enough’

[starowe]

I wonder what he said to make him laugh?

[princessconsuela120]

Chapter Nine: The Best Day —✧

Series masterlist

Chapter Warnings: cursing, pregnancy, the usual

Authors Note: a little glimpse into Juno’s relationships with others. I love her dynamics so much. Enjoy guys, don’t forget to like comment and repost!!

Chapter art by @silvell & @clownfacepancakes120

—✧

I HAD DECIDED AFTER A LONG A GRUELING DAY OF BEING PREGNANT, that I needed to spend some time with Tweek. Of all of my friends, besides maybe Butters, Tweek was the only one who was the most refreshing to hang out with. Oddly enough considering he was scared of everything, but he was the most girl like when there were no girls around to see. But of course with Tweek came Craig, because if Craig wasn’t there that would mean that Tweek was cheating on him, and being the wonderful boyfriend he is Craig begged Tweek to bring him along.

“This pretzel tastes like a frigging doughnut.” I said happily, stuffing my mouth full of the giant pretzel in my hands as the boys and I walked through the mall. We stopped at a few stores, Tweek helping me pick out new clothes for once my stomach got even bigger and my stubborn to wearing my current clothes.

“Share the love, Sweet cheeks.” Craig held out his hand, hoping I would hand him my pretzel but I pulled it away from him, flipping him off.

“No, you can't have any.”

“She's assaulting me! She's denying me fresh-baked goods. Tweek!” He shouted, flipping me off back and turning to look at Tweek with an angry look.

“Go buy your own doughnut!” I shouted at him, and Tweek sighed that he had to deal with our crap again.

“Craig, just get your own.” He argued, making Craig whine in response.

“But! But that’s not fair!” He shouted, and I laughed at him.

“I’m eating for two, this pretzel is only made for one. I can’t be risking my baby of the nutrients it deserves.” I explained, holding my stomach in defense.

“It’s not even gonna be your kid.” Craig argued back, and Tweek groaned finally tired of our bullshit.

“It doesn’t matter, she needs it more than you.” He lectured, and Craig sighed, hiding his face into Tweek’s shoulder. Tweek rolled his eyes, running his hands through Craig’s hair to comfort him as he rambled angrily, his hat now in his hands.

“So rude, I can’t even believe you right now, we’re family. I’m blood related to that baby, we share blood…”

Craig continued to whine about his damn pretzel, causing me to roll my eyes as I walked up to the edge looking down at the mall. As my eyes scanned the room, I noticed someone familiar.

“Oh, my God.” I whispered, Tweek being the only one who seemed to care.

“What?” He asked, moving closer to me which knocked Craig off his shoulder, causing the brunette to groan angrily.

“Yeah exactly, oh my god Craig, I’m sorry sorry, here eat my doughnut pretzel.” Craig mocked me, earning a light shove from Tweek.

“That's her. That's Vanessa Loring.” I said, pointing on the glass as best I could to the girl downstairs. She looked lovely, she looked like a mom. I assumed she came with her friends, because there was a girl beside her with their baby who she wouldn’t let go of. She looked just like a mom.

“Of the PennySaver Lorings?” Craig asked.

“The adoptive mom?” Tweek asked right after, and Craig shamelessly bent down, pressing his face against the glass to get a better look.

“Dude, she's, really pretty.” He said, as Tweek pulled him back up by the hair, giving him a dirty look at the fact he would smoosh his face against a dirty glass.

“You sound, like, totally shocked or something.”

“She's totally gonna steal that little kid for her collection.” Craig teased, making me nod in response.

“Right? Seriously.”

“Really?!” Tweek asked nervously, starting to shake slightly as he felt himself filled with nerves. Craig grabbed his hand, squeezing it lightly as we continued our walk downstairs.

“It was a joke honey, don’t stress yourself.” He reassured him, kissing his cheek. I have to admit, Craig and Tweek may just be the one thing that makes me believe love exists. They have been together since 4th grade and besides maybe a few mishaps here and there, they still had never broken up.

“I could so go for, like, a huge cookie right now… With, like, a lamb kebab simultaneously.” I explained, my mouth seeming to water at the thought.

“God, Spermy. Must you always feed? It's, like, never-ending for you.” Craig complained. I was about to argue with him some more, before Vanessa appeared in front of me, smiling widely at my arrival.

“Juno.” She greeted me, surprised yet happy to see me.

“Hi, Vanessa.” I said back. “What brings you to the mall today?”

“I was just shopping with my girlfriends and…”

“You're gay?” Craig asked, interrupting Vanessa. She looked back at him with a confused look.

“Oh, just ignore him.” I said to her, about to start talking before Craig interrupted again.

“Cause I am.” He said, making me roll my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose angrily.

“We know Craig.” I grumbled back in response.

“No, no I’m not.”

“Darn.” He whispered, shaking his head slightly as I rolled my eyes.

“Well, how are you feeling?”

“Great. Everything's stupendous, you know? Oh, God.” I said, stopping to hold my stomach as my face scrunched up in pain. As if he knew, Craig grabbing onto my arm, letting my hold myself up on him slightly as he rubbed soothing patterns on my arm. I smiled up at him, and he smiled back softly, helping hold me up. He took a few deep breaths while looking at me, trying to get me to mimick him. I did, and soon enough took a last deep breath before steadying myself.

“What?” Vanessa asked.

“Kicking. Kicking away.” I said with a light chuckle. This had been happening a lot recently, and everytime it was like my little body couldn’t handle it. They must have Kyle’s strength because I swear they could have broken my rib by now. The first time it happened was with Butters. It scared the absolute shit out of him, he had no idea what to do and panicked and just hugged me. On all honesty it actually helped a lot, I was able to steady myself to his heart beat, and since that day Butters had talked to the rest of the boys about being “prepared” with me. It was honestly really sweet.

“Does it hurt!?” Tweek asked nervously, coming up to me on my other side, Craig still holding my arm just in case. He’d never say it out loud but he may be just as protective over me as Stan is.

“Not entirely, I mean I get used to it.” I explained, making Tweek sigh.

“Don’t worry Mrs Loring, your child is in very good hands under the care of my anxiety ridden boyfriend.” Craig explained, making Tweek slap the back of his head.

“Shut up! You’re embarrassing me!” Tweek shouted at him, about to continue yelling at Craig before Vanessa interrupted.

“Could I feel it?” She asked softly. She acted as if she was nervous. I just smiled, taking her hand and placing it on my bump.

“Are you kidding? Come on. At school everyone's just grabbing my belly all the time. It's crazy. But I'm a legend.”

“They call her the Cautionary Whale.” Craig added, having me as we both chuckled at the name.

“I can't feel anything. It's not moving for me.” She said sadly. I just frowned at her.

“You should try talking to it, supposedly they can hear you. Even though it's like 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea.”

“Hi, baby. It's me. It's Vanessa. I can't wait to meet you. Can you hear me, baby? Sweet angel?” Her face lit up with joy, and her eyes never once moved from her hand over my stomach. “I felt it. Oh, God. That was magical. Thank you. Thank you.”

—✧

“Oh, a little trip down Mexico way. And Greece and China, apparently. How many months has it been? You're getting huge.” Kenny asked, raising an eyebrow at me as I sat down beside him at lunch. After my glorious mall trip I met Kenny for lunch, at the buffet, to fuel my vicious appetite.

“Well, it's honing in on 6. You should see how weird I look naked.” I said shaking my head, making Kenny raise his eyebrows at me.

“I’m really okay, tempting offer though. I wish my fun bags would get bigger.” He whined, sighing as he began eating.

“You’re a man.” I said to him, but he just shrugged.

“So? I’m a man not a boy, which means I should totally have some fun bags.” He explained, making me shove him.

“God, trust me, you don't. I have to wear a fricking bra now… And rub all this nasty cocoa-butter stuff on myself so, like… I don't know, my skin won't explode.” I explained making Kenny nod along.

“Hot.”

“Why is everyone always staring at me?” I scoffed, glaring at the couple who walked by, glaring daggers into my shirt.

“Well, you are kind of convex, you know.” Kenny explained, surprising me he even knew that word existed.

“Who's been doing their geometry homework for once?”

“I have no choice. Beth has been grading me, like, so hard lately.” My face scrunched up in disgust.

“Do not call Mrs. Conner Beth.”

“Why?”

“Because my barf reflex is really heightened these days.”

“But Beth’s hot.”

“And you’re a horny man whore Ken, I don’t see your point.” I teased, causing Kenny to roll his eyes.

“Did you hear that Kyle is going to prom with Rebecca Cotswolds?”

I swear I could’ve chocked on my food.

“Rebecca? No way. He doesn't like Rebecca. Must be, like, a pity date or something.” I explained, remembering that Kyle did in fact not like Rebecca. Or atleast he told me he didn’t. Maybe it was just me who hated Rebecca because he asked Kyle to prom. Or maybe cause she smells like soup and I hate her stupid curly brown hair.

“I heard he asked her. And that they're going to Casa Bonita…And then prom and then Cartman’s cousins cabin. I know cause they asked me to go to. I said no, obviously, my baby’s gonna be born around then I need to prepare.” Kenny wiggled his eyebrows, leaning back in his chair, but I chose to ignore the last bit he said.

“He told me that Rebecca’s house smells like soup.” I said, making Kenny burst into laughter.

“Oh, my God, it totally does. I think their family is one of those families that buys thousands of cans of Campbell’s soups to donate the poor every year. They always give my family these cans in the mail that are half empty and all goey and old. He house is like Lipton landing. But, you know, boys have endured way worse things for nookie.” Kenny laughed at himself, and I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

“Oh, please. There is no way that they're having sex. They wouldn't even be holding hands.” I shook my head, and Kenny shrugged.

“Wouldn't be so sure. He did it with you.”

“Yeah, because Kyle trusts me, you know? And we're best friends.”

“Are you jealous? I thought you said you didn't care what he did.”

I wasn’t jealous, really I wasn’t. I just hated the idea of Kyle and Rebecca together. I wasn’t jealous, I don’t get jealous, especially not with Kyle. He hates her, he does. God why did my chest hurt.

“Not jealous. Don't care. It's just I know Kyle doesn't like Rebecca. He shouldn't toy with her emotions because she seems pretty nice.” I took a long swig of my drink, before continuing to down it, causing Kenny to look at me with widened eyes.

“I'm really convinced.”

“Prom is for wenises anyway.” I said, slamming my empty glass back on the table. “As soon as you're old enough to go, it's so not cool anymore.”

—✧

[schrodingers-tits]

Ok! I’m gonna mainly discuss the mental disorders he has and explain how they affect him

So first, we know about Tweek’s addiction from his parents. In my canon, they decided on Tweek’s seventh birthday that their son is old enough to help out with their business. This includes taste testing coffee, which is canonized in TFBW. Eventually, Tweek started to REALLY want to drink the coffee a lot because he gets a weird, tingly, funny feeling when he drinks it. Drinking so much coffee for someone so little caused some big problems, like the obvious anxiety/paranoia, acne, restlessness, and ✨ psychosis ✨

Anxiety disorder: the most obvious disorder. Any distressing event can cause a lot of pressure on tweek and make it hard for him to function. Because of this, Tweek has to constantly live in a state of fear and has multiple panic attacks a day. Luckily, Craig tries to comfort him and seems to work wonders on Tweek’s anxiety.

Paranoid personality disorder: the other obvious one. It’s very, very hard for tweek to perform some tasks because he worries he’ll get hurt. Tweek does research on some of these disasters to see what he can do to prevent it or stay safe. Chances are you’ll need to reassure him that he’s likely to be okay during these.

Adhd: in Gnomes, Mrs tweak claims the reason her son is so hyper is because of ADHD. It’s heavily implied that she said this as a cover up, but I still headcanon tweek to have this because I have it too and I like to self project. Tweek canonically has trouble focusing, so this could mean he might just have ADHD. The hyperactivy isn’t something to care about because of the coffee.

And now, disorders tweek doesn’t canonically have but does have in my canon:

Autism: more self projection. Tweek stims a lot mostly to let anxiety out. His special interests are Pokémon, Lego’s and animals. Funnily enough the first and third are mine too. Tweek is sensitive to loud noises, so he sometimes wears noise cancelling headphones. In my rehab AU, Tweek enters a large burnout, sleeps often, acts more soft (trying not to fanonize him, he’s just been through a lot) and is often semiverbal. He also has many meltdowns instead of anxiety attacks in this AU.

Depression: yes, even tweek gets depressed often. If Tweek loses someone or does something that makes him “hate (his) brain”, chances are hell lie in his bed all do and do barely anything. Unfortunately, he (as a teenager) has hurt himself on purpose (usually burning himself his coffee or repeatedly hitting his head on a wall) and attempted a few times. Pro tip: bring Stripe to Tweek during a depressive episode. You won’t regret it.

Epilepsy: so. Meth can cause seizures. Autism is often comorbid with epilepsy. So, if an autistic kid drinks coffee repeatedly ever since he was seven, it’s likely something bad will happen to your brainwaves. If Tweek gets very, VERY stressed, he might seize. His epilepsy seemed to have formed when he was eleven, and it got bad a year later and he almost died from a long seizure.

There’s probably more I headcanon him to have but I can’t seem to remember them well on the top of my tongue. So, in conclusion, Tweek needs a hug.

oooo! I love these so much. Personally, I also headcanon (well, semi-canon) him to have Tourette’s, due to his tics. I, myself, suffer from tics, and his ‘tweaking’ is very reminiscent of these. The way he just moves past them when talking like they didn’t happen at all is very tic-disorder-behavior.

Another one (this one definitely more headcanon-y) is cognitive/motor disinhibition. Tweek obviously suffers from paranoia, however, from the description of cognitive disinhibition, it could tie in as well. The unwanted thoughts that keep a person from focusing sounds very Tweek-like.

Next: mania. This is tied into his coffee/meth addiction, however he shows signs of it when he doesn’t have coffee. This is clearly withdrawal of sorts, but it leads to a manic-like state.

The last one is OCD. Tweek’s paranoia is a part of the reason why I believe this, though I’m not sure how canon it is. It’s more of a headcanon, as his anxiety is almost parallel to that of people I know with OCD and anxiety. Again, there isn’t much proof that I have stored in my brain, but it is more a headcanon.

Good talk!! :) /gen

[falloutjay]

The boys, Animal Crossing New Horizon and you! (Head canons in regards to ACNH) 🌴

I've been intensely playing Animal Crossing the past few days and so I thought of this, hope you enjoy! 💐

-----------------------------

Cartman:

Is really strict with his island. He got his mother to buy loads of the amiibo cards so he can only have villagers he likes.

The ones he didn't like got a net to their head everytime they dared to leave the house.

He proudly shows it off to you whenever he can.

He also let's you borrow his cards so you can have villagers you like. You're still not allowed to have his favorites though.

Stan:

Only got into it because you forced him to try it.

He enjoys it like hell.

Island's a bit chaotic, he doesn't really care about making it pretty or tidying up, but he talkes to his villagers a lot.

He's more keen on filling the museum and it brings him joy

It's nice to see him so enthusiastic about something so small.

Anything he already has he donates to your museum.

Kyle:

Really tidy town. Like. Woah. It's so neat and organized.

Wants to fill the museum like Stan, but is rather chill about it.

He's into breeding flowers.

He has all hybrids and gifts them to you when he has enough, so you can have some too.

He made a little seating area just for you guys and he is really a sucker for the holidays and always spends them together with you.

Kenny:

He doesn't have his own switch, but you let him have yours.

Sometimes even overnight so he can do his little surprises and play with Karen for a bit. You don't mind that, since you know he protects the switch with his life.

His surprises often entail drawing a penis with the path tool somewhere.

Otherwise he sends you cute letters from time to time with furniture or something similar attached.

His house is close to yours and you made him his parka in-game with the design tool. He refuses to wear anything else.

Butters:

The most adorable island you will ever see.

Everything is incredibly cute and he takes it serious. He plays every day.

He makes lists to he keeps track of the villagers he needs to talk to, what flowers he needs etc.

When you get cute DIYs or furniture you gift it to him and he adores it.

The centerpiece of his island is a pink rose heart for you.

You got him the new Hello Kitty furniture as soon as it came out.

Clyde:

Messy. Island. He doesn't really pick up sticks or weed and it's funny to him how much it annoys you.

He doesn't really care about his villagers either. If he hates them, he won't talk to them and wait til they move out.

The ones he likes he keeps track of, like making sure he talked to them and sometimes gifts them stuff he doesn't need anymore.

Since he doesn't care too much, he happily gifts you anything you want if he has it.

Token:

A clean and neat island.

He makes these beautiful decorated places for your characters to sit down at while you talk over discord.

He's happy with any villager and is friendly to all.

Also happily gifts you furniture and always let's you have any villager you're interested in.

He loves the holidays and enjoys fishing a lot. Catching bugs, digging up fossils and the other stuff not so much.

Craig:

Animal Farm.

He builds anything Space or Animals related and that's the overall theme for is island.

His favorite thing is crafting the celestial/zodiac furniture and the cherry blossom DIYs.

Made it big with turnips and decorates his house a lot. One room is a special place for you.

His island is neatly decorated but not as stunningly as the other guys.

Tweek:

He's the person who constantly forgets about his turnips.

He will buy a lot, store them in his house and only remember them when he walks into the room a week later.

You gifted him money though because you felt so bad. You don't mind doing that, because he's just so forgetful.

He build a cute little coffeeshop where you two can sit down at.

He's also into flowers and also has every single one. They are neatly organized and are a beautiful addition to his otherwise sparely decorated island.

[nightingaelic]

Companions (DLC included) respond to the Courier getting drunk at their wedding.

Arcade Gannon: "What is wrong with you? You couldn't pick any other day to act like a brahmin who got into the broc patch?"

Super apologetic toward his new husband, he should've known the courier was going to make a scene, honestly, it's about the only thing they're good at, and gets so flustered he starts blushing and his newly-minted spouse has to reassure him that the courier isn't even the most inebriated person there. That award goes to Cass, who is pickling herself in a mixture of wedding joy and despair that the nerdy gay scientist of the friend group found love before she did. Arcade stops the courier from being a bad influence and forbids the bartender from pouring the pair of them any more shots. Will not hold the courier's hair if they throw up, but will slip them some Rebound for the inevitable hangover.

Craig Boone: "Take it easy. Here, I'll finish that one for you."

Ignores the courier's antics completely until they make their way up to congratulate him and his new partner personally, at which point his usual stony façade will crack a bit. He's well-acquainted with the courier's drunk personality by now, but hasn't let himself loosen up out of a strong sense of duty. Now, on this happy day, he's willing to relax an inch and share some extra drinks with them and the rest of the Lucky 38 crew. This is the one time the courier will be able to steal his beret and be able to hang onto it until after the festivities.

Lily Bowen: "Go sit in the corner until you can behave yourself, dearie!"

Embarrassed by her surrogate grandchild's actions, Lily would attempt to scold the courier back into sobriety. Eventually she would realize her efforts are fruitless and take a few minutes to sulk, before the whirlwind happiness of the day and the flounce of her dress win out and she lets her spouse, the courier and her Lucky 38 and Jacobstown friends lead her out to the middle of the dance floor. After that, well, there aren't many spectacles that can top seeing a bunch of super mutants dancing.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: "Hey, hey, slow down boss! Tenemos muchos años más to act like fools together, eh?"

As soon as the courier jumps up on a table to give an impromptu toast, Raul will unleash his best grito and toast them back with the nearest bottle of tequila. Once deep enough into the alcohol himself, Raul would get a little weepy and start thanking them profusely for their role in his recent years of life, leaning on them as much as they're leaning on him. Largely forgiving of messes caused by clumsiness or turned stomachs, unless any of them threaten to ruin his suit or his partner's outfit.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: "Well if this ain't an excuse to get wasted in the wastes, I don't know what is."

Cass lives up to her nickname "Whiskey Rose" and is probably just as deep into her cups as the courier. Through the laughter, stumbles, bumps and curse words, however, Cass is careful not to go past her point of no return, and cuts the courier off before they also slip over the edge. She's spent much of her later life trying to get blackout drunk, but today is not a day she wants either of them to forget. As such, she has a low tolerance for anyone who messes up something important in her eyes, and will toss them out on their ass. God help anyone who rips her dress.

Veronica Santangelo: "That's the first time I've seen anyone mix Jake Juice and ant nectar together. This should be interesting."

Rather than confront a drunken courier about their bad behavior, Veronica settles for blushing deeper and deeper shades of pink, until her new wife tells her to go outside and get some air. Like Cass, she is very protective of her dress, but mostly because she loves wearing it in general and wants to feel like a princess for as long as she can. Will definitely get lost in the bathroom with Cass and the courier at some point, complimenting everyone who walks in. Will hold the courier's hair back if they throw up.

BONUS!

Dean Domino: "Don't leave me out if you have plans for some grand finale. Marriage might've caught me, but this snake can still rattle."

As long as the courier doesn't start singing, Dean regards their drunken stunts with a charming smile and a wink or two. If the courier tries to start some impromptu karaoke, however, Dean will start heckling them and get the rest of the guests to join in. This is less about being offended by their singing and more about putting himself back in the center of the spotlight. If the song is a duet, though, he'll probably join in on the second part with some pre-war choreography.

Christine Royce: [scowls]

The Brotherhood assassin is quite good at piercing glares, which is exactly what the courier will get if they don't put the centerpiece down and melt back into the crowd around the bar. Christine is also unafraid of a confrontation, and if the courier's behavior doesn't improve after their first warning, they'll be kicked to the outskirts of the reception, or kicked out altogether. Veronica will take pity on them if this happens and sneak them some food, but Christine doesn't let her guard down easily anymore and removal from the party is permanent.

Dog/God: "Hrrrrrrn..."

Watching the courier overindulge is too much for the nightkin, who is painfully reminded of his own split personality. Still too polite to ask the courier to tone it down or leave though, he instead disappears until the courier leaves or until someone else deals with them.

Follows-Chalk: "Let's share a cup or two, then get back to things, neh?"

Though he's personally fine with the courier's lack of decorum, Follows-Chalk meets the disapproving glances from the rest of the Dead Horses with sheepish grins and hustles them to the back of the celebration if they get too loud. He'll share a few drinks with them though, and the alcohol will warm him up significantly toward letting them back into the center of things. Ultimately, he and the courier will wind up swaying together over a bonfire, singing songs off-key and reminiscing about their time together in Zion.

Waking Cloud: "Muddy your water if you must, but do not forget to let it run clean beneath the morning."

The tall, stately bride is polite and tolerant of the courier's drunken outbursts, but chooses not to partake herself when offered drinks. The Sorrows view mind-altering substances as something for serious, sacred purposes, and weddings are focused on celebration rather than ritual. Still, Waking Cloud can't help but smile when the courier tries their hand at the intricate, unending dances on the banks of the Virgin River. They might look foolish, and watching members of the tribe might wince, but the smile on their face is pure ecstasy.

Joshua Graham: "There is a fire that burns within the righteous, but that fire cannot prosper if you insist on quenching it."

As a Mormon, Joshua Graham doesn't drink, and he's very judgmental of those who overindulge. Seeing as it's the courier, his disdain is tempered into something more akin to disappointment, but he'll still take every opportunity to pull them aside and try to explain their faux pas in between their hiccups. Most likely to have a dry wedding in the first place, but we all know the courier has a trusty Vault 13 canteen and is great at breaking the rules.

Ulysses: "The Twin Mothers knew how to cure a wound with bitters, one drink at a time... some wounds need more. More bitters, and more drinks. There's enough bitterness already in our history."

Ulysses also doesn't drink, but he knows better than to try to separate the courier from a good time. He'll simply avoid them until they simmer down, grabbing his partner and ducking out of conversations right before the courier crashes them. He's so successful in this that the courier might start loudly complaining about how they "didn't know we were back in the Divide," and enlist ED-E to bob around the party in pursuit.

[bigskydreaming]

Doing some writing today off and on between errands and work, and jumping around various Kings of the Sky installments, specifically Dick, Jason and Cass stuff, so probably gonna post snippets from a bunch of them as I go. 

(Kings of the Sky is an AU that goes canon divergent from the point of Jason calling Dick for advice for dealing with Bruce after the Garzonas case and where things end up going dramatically different from that point on. Including Jason not dying, being part of his own lineup of Titans between Dick and Tim’s, Dick being adopted not long after the Church of Blood incident, Cass being the third Wayne kid to be taken in and adopted and with Tim and Duke being next and then Damian coming along later once they find out about him. This is basically my ‘the family’s alright’ AU with largely ‘Good Dad Bruce’ except for Dick and then Jason yelling some sense into him about the other, respectively, in the first two installments, just FYI).

Anyway, this bit is from a story called “In Their Shadows Grow Trees Of Good and Evil,” set about a year after Cass has been adopted, when she and Jason are both sixteen and Dick’s twenty-one. Also just FYI, because canon has never been specific about what ways Cass is neurodivergent due to the comic-book style ‘rewiring’ of her brain so that she could learn to speak later in life, I tend to go with her being dyslexic and having aphasia. She sticks exclusively to sign language and being a silent presence in her costumed personas, so that there’s no chance of people connecting the dots between Black Bat and Cassandra Wayne, as she mostly speaks verbally in her civilian persona and doesn’t hide her aphasia. The reason there’s not likely to be any obvious signs of aphasia in the snippets of her I post is because I wait until I complete something to choose words at random to replace with aphasia-born mixups, so its more realistic and I’m not gearing her dialogue towards deliberately placed moments. Just in case you were wondering.

In Their Shadows Grow Trees of Good and Evil

“Hey Todd,” sneered an exquisitely obnoxious voice. “Why’s your sister so fucking weird?”

Jason sighed the sigh of a soul a mere century into its eternity of damnation as he rose from the lunch table he’d been studying at and crammed the rest of his books into his backpack. Then he pasted a cheerfully bland smile on his face and turned around, geared for academia warfare (teenage prep school edition).

“Hey Craig,” he said brightly. “Why’d you come out of the womb so ugly your parents had to tie a piece of steak around your neck just to get the family dog to go near you? Mysteries abound.”

The advancing junior slowed a step, momentarily rocked by his truly impressive return volley. The grimace Craig’s already gargoyle-esque features twisted into made his face even more unpleasant to look at than usual, which was quite the feat. Jason would have applauded if just looking at it hadn’t already turned him to stone.

But the bargain basement basilisk kept on towards him rather than turn tail and skulk off to pop his emotional blisters, so Jason sighed a sequel to his first one. Looked like it was one of those days where Craig felt up to powering through. Guess someone had eaten their self-esteem Wheaties that morning. Joy.

“You think you’re pretty hot shit, don’t you, Todd?”

Jason shrugged. “I mean, to be honest I kinda have a one track mind, so right now I’m mostly just thinking about punching you in your mistake.”

“My what?”

“Your face,” Jason elaborated with exaggerated patience.

“Huh?”

“Oh my god, I’m saying your face is a mistake. See, its not as fun when I have to stop and explain it to you. Ugh, you ruin everything.”

He neatly sidestepped the older boy as R2-Dumbass stayed frozen, smoke coming off of his internal CPU while trying to catch up. For a second Jason thought he was home free, but then he remembered the universe fucking hated him so haha, sucks to suck. Also, a small crowd had gathered to witness the verbal jousting match, and nothing invigorated an asshole like Craig more than an audience of like-minded peers. So there was that too.

“Whatever. Laugh it up all you want, you little shit,” the junior rallied. “But just remember, mocking your betters will never change the fact that you were born street trash and you’ll be street trash until the day you die.”

Honestly? Not his best effort. Jason almost felt bad using any of his good material. Seemed like overkill at this point. But he did have a strict Scorched Earth policy to maintain, so.....

“Yeah but my dad could buy out and ruin your dad so that means I still win, right?”

He smirked as the barb landed and Craig’s face set into a sunset vista of strangled purple and furious red. Bam. Direct hit.

“Listen, you - “

“Oh for fuck’s sake, it was rhetorical,” Jason interrupted. “I don’t actually care what you think even a little bit. Nobody does. You don’t matter. Please go be irrelevant elsewhere, you’re fucking dismissed, you loser.”

“Speak for yourself, charity case.” Oh goodie, Craig’s backup singers had finally arrived. Now if only he could remember to care enough to learn their names in the first place. Seriously, who told the extras they could have lines? “All the jokes in the world can’t change who and what you are.”

Jason shrugged and continued nonchalantly up the hill to where his sister was standing with arms crossed, staring down at something on the other side.

“True genius is never appreciated in its own time,” he tossed back over his shoulder. “I’m sure I’ll be immortalized in song eventually.”

The mob of morons deigned to let him go without further incident. Though he suspected that had less to do with his scathing wit and more to do with him being headed towards Cass. She was immaculately presented as always, wearing the Gotham Academy uniform like she was born to it despite hating its uncomfortable stiffness every bit as much as he did. But that was just Cass for you. 

For all that she still struggled at times to engage verbally or speak up in social settings, her mastery of body language remained without peer. She could chameleon-camouflage her way into matching poise and posture with anyone - a skill that had allowed her to walk into school on her very first day with her head held high as though she owned everything in her sight. Exuding so much Queen Bee Intimidation Factor even the other hive queens were afraid to approach her  themselves. Sending forth their drones to try and woo her into an alliance, only to see her remain oh-so-casually above it all, a slightly contemptuous smile adorning her lips.

Basically, she scared the shit out of their classmates without them having anywhere close to a true understanding of why, and Jason was outrageously jealous. Rude. Unfair. Why did his siblings always get all the cool toys when all he had was his rakish charm, scintillating intellect and debonair.....nah, who was he kidding. He was fucking awesome. 

“Sup, sis,” he said, cresting the hill to stand beside Cass. “Just FYI, I just took a popularity bullet for you, which means you owe me your dessert tonight. Its a family rule that’s totally a real thing and definitely not something I just made up right now because Alf is making chocolate soufflé.”

She made no acknowledgment and remained stock still, a Colossus at Rhodes peering down into the shifting shadows of the parking lot below.

He peered down as well, though with absolutely no idea what they were looking at. Solidarity, yo.

“So are we staring fixedly at anything in particular, or should I just pick my own spot and commit?”

His humor was totally wasted on her as always. Instead of laughing and telling him what a lovable goof he was, she just inclined her head in the direction of a blonde girl where she was standing next to the driver’s side door of a Mercedes-Benz, dictating final commandments to her peons before departing. Well, probably. Jason was just guessing, based on his own body language reads, and like, general disdain for literally everyone at this school that wasn’t related to him.

He made a face. An extra special one reserved just for this classmate in particular. “Ugh, Madison Dunleavy? She’s the worst.”

Cass raised a cool eyebrow. “I thought Craig Hendricks was the worst.”

“He is. They’re both the worst. Its a hotly contested position here at Gotham Academy.”

She rolled her eyes and nodded back down at the Queen of Air and Darkness. “So. You know her?”

“Nope,” Jason said. “Come to think of it, I’ve actually never seen her in my life. No idea who that is. Can’t help you, sorry. Shall we go home?”

The Eyebrow of Inquisition speared him with clear intent. Who the fuck needed words when you could pack the Encyclopedia Britannica into a single facial expression?

Jason sighed gustily. 

“I had a slight altercation with her freshman year that led to her declaring her undying enmity for me until the end of time. The word nemesis may or may not have been thrown around once or twice. I can’t recall.”

The Eyebrow of Inquisition lowered nary an inch. Ugh, she wanted more? Why did everyone in his family hate privacy, with the obvious exclusion of himself when snooping through Cass and Dick’s rooms for blackmail material, which was actually intel-gathering and thus another matter entirely.

“Okay so basically what happened was my first week here I overheard her talking shit about me and not even twenty minutes later she was pretending to kiss my ass in homeroom, like probably because of Bruce, y’know? So I just busted out laughing and told her to fuck off and die and she has inexplicably loathed me ever since.”

Avoiding further Eyebrow Inquisition-ing, he made a show of peering around aimlessly. When the silence extended and it was clear Cass was absolutely not going to break first, Jason waved a hand in dismissal and took to peering oh so casually at his fingernails. "I suppose I was less tactful back in those days.”

He chanced a look up, finally, and saw his sister’s eyebrow had somehow managed to mighty morphin power ranger its way into a configuration evoking both judgment and disbelief, with the latter perhaps aimed at the idea he was significantly differing in the tact department these days either.

“I don’t love the implications your face is making right now,” he told her.

She ignored him, because of course she did. 

“Does she know Dick?” She asked instead. Jason shrugged.

“I mean, maybe? She’s probably seen him around at one of those stupid galas we have to go to, and actually I think maybe she has an older brother who was either in Dick’s grade or like, one above or below it? I don’t know.”

Now both eyebrows were doing the dance of disbelief. Okay, so maybe that was poor situational awareness on his part, since it wasn’t like Gotham Academy was a big school with a ton of other kids and also he’d only been in the same class as Madison for like over two whole years, but whatever. There were extingent circumstances.

“Look, she’s a total snob who’s always looked down on me and in return I willfully ignore both her existence and that of everyone and everything even tangentially related to her. Its called equality, Cass.”

She pursed her lips and went back to the peering, because of course in the mind of Cass it made total sense that the Grand Inquisition didn’t need to be followed up by any explanation on her part, what the hell. Like was he supposed to have inferred it?

“What’s this all about anyway?”

“I heard her talking about Dick earlier,” she said without peeling her eyes away from her personal recon mission. “I don’t know what she said though, I just heard her say Grayson, and then I was busy looking at what her body was saying. I know it was about Dick because she shut down when she saw me. And I didn’t like the way she....looked....before that happened. The way she was talking. It was.....”

Jason frowned but held back any follow-up questions while he waited - with total patience because he wasn’t an absolute cad, thank you very much - for his sister to find the word she was hunting for. It was a major source of frustration for her, that whatever neural map her brain followed put body language and spoken language in totally different regions of her brain, separated by a fairly great divide. Meaning she usually had to make a conscious choice to focus on body language or conventional languages - whether verbal or sign. But it tended to be one or the other; she’d yet to master taking in and comprehending both forms of ‘language’ at the same time. And none of them had quite figured out how to convince her that she wasn’t actually missing anything when she chose to focus on one specific form of communication - that she was still observing far more than most people ever would.

“Proprietary,” Cass settled on at last. She nodded her satisfaction with her choice of word, and Jason waited a whole two point five seconds before sticking  his whole foot in his mouth.

“Proprietary?” He asked with a scrunched nose as he weighed that for possible context and implications. “You sure?”

She glared. He winced. It was a whole thing.

“Yeah, I know, sorry, sorry, I heard it the second it was out of my mouth. We don’t actually have to experiment with the legitimacy of if looks could kill.”

Cass rolled her eyes, but eh. That could’ve gone worse.

Jason swiftly redirected attention anyway. Discretion is the better part of valor, after all.

“So. The Queen of Air and Darkness was talking about our big bro, and her mood was.....proprietary, huh?” He recapped while digesting the info like a boss. “Well. Definitely not loving that, I gotta say. Hold please.”

Pulling out his phone and pulling up his most recent texts, he began typing furiously.

“What are you doing?” Cass asked.

“Texting Tom,” he replied, because duh. Hah, now it was his chance to have the answers that should be patently obvious and thus make with the ‘are you kidding me’ when she asked obvious questions she should know the answer to! How do you like them apples, sis?

“Why are you texting your boyfriend right now?”

Jason rolled his eyes, because fair is fair, but never ceased texting for a moment. Time was of the essence here, probably. Well, maybe. Okay probably not. But it’d still been like half an hour since he and Tom had last texted and that’s a very fucking long time in teenage years.

“To be our getaway driver tonight, obviously.”

She stared at him. He didn’t look up, but he could feel it anyway. He was very intuitive like that.

“What?”

Jason heaved another sigh, one keyed to tones of ‘oh my god, do I really have to spell this out,” exasperation. He was just racking up the bonus points here. It was really too bad this wasn’t an actual competition he could actually win and this was all just pettiness taking place wholly in his own head. Lame. 

“Well, clearly we now have to go snoop in Madison’s house aka lair to see if its actually a house or a full on lair. Because she’s either a creeper or like, legit evil, and its important to know which one before we proceed, because obviously we can only bust her for being a weird creeper about our brother as Jason and Cass, whereas if she’s legit evil, that’s gotta go down as Robin and Black Bat. I’ll handle the snooping, you’ll take look-out, but we still need a wheelman and that’s why I’m texting Tom. This is all very mission-oriented, okay. I’m a professional.”

“Right,” she affirmed, while sounding anything but convinced. “Why don’t we just tell Bruce?”

Without looking up or breaking stride, he said: “I’m going to give you til I finish typing this sentence to figure out what was wrong with what you just said. Remember that we are talking about hypothetical danger to our brother, and also Bruce’s idea of a proportionate response to any of his children being in even hypothetical danger. And also our brother’s idea of a proportionate response to Bruce’s idea of a proportionate response. Look, you’re still new so I’m gonna need you to just trust me on this one. Its gonna be a no on telling Bruce without further intel.”

Cass said nothing in response to that, which meant that she was conceding the point and recognized the wisdom of his words. Or maybe that she was just gonna go ahead and do what she wanted anyway and just wasn’t bothering to fight about it, but it was probably that first thing.

“Well you better not just make out with your boyfriend all night,” is what she said at last, and that got his attention reeeeeal quick like.

“Umm. Wow. Okay. So, first off, you’re not the boss of me and who I make out with and when, so jot that down. And second, now I’m definitely going to make out with my boyfriend extra hard, with the exception of when we are actually on our recon mission because as previously established, I am a professional. And also, again, you’re not the boss of me.”

Jason ignored her Eye Roll With Extra Emphasis, and instead just held up his phone to Text With Extra Emphasis, as he read along with what he was typing.

“By the way babe, we have to make out extra hard tonight,” he said, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth while he dragged out his dictation with the kind of focus that usually led to Bruce asking why he couldn’t apply as much intensity to training as he did to pettiness. “Cass has suddenly decided she can dictate terms to me and I need to shut that shit down ASAP, so thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter. Smoochies and other gay stuff to the best boyfriend ever.”

Jason frowned as a response pinged back seconds later. 

TheCatsMeow: ....the things I put up with for the sake of your weird family dynamics.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Yeah, yeah. You’re a saint among were-panthers. Must you mock? Why can’t you just tell me I’m pretty instead?

TheCatsMeow: Sorry. Let me try again. OMG you’re so pretty Jase how did I get so lucky xoxo.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: No. Its too late. It feels forced and unbelievable now. You’ve ruined it forever.

TheCatsMeow: Got it. From now on I will only tell you that you’re repulsive and hideous.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: I’m breaking up with you.

TheCatsMeow: But after I help you with your mission tonight.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Obvsly. I’m a professional. Why do people keep forgetting this?

TheCatsMeow: And also the making out to spite your sister.

TheOnlyRobinThatRocks: Yeah we should do that first too. I mean we already penciled it in.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Introducing My Fallout OCs!

OMGGGG y’all, I can’t. I’ve apparently reached over 200 of you fantabulous followers and I am so ecstatic! I honestly don’t even know if this is considered a milestone or anything, but I was super psyched, so I'm doing something about it, dang it!

Also, just a heads up on me right now, I just started school again, so my posting miiiiiiight be a bit sporadic every now and then, but I’m determined to still try and get a few posts out every week, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m also pretty backed up on requests at the moment, I’m still accepting them for the time being, but I may turn off my asks if I’m finding difficulty getting to everyone.  

Anyways, I know I don’t ever really talk about my Fallout Original Characters, but I’m thinking of doing some stuff with them in the future, so this seemed like a good place to start  🤷‍♀️ So, here they are! One from each of the 3 FO games I write for. If ya’ll want to send in any asks about these folks, please feel free to do so! 

(Art for these peeps is pending potentially as well).

My Lone Wanderer: Hope

Appearance: 

- Basically like a black-haired, blue eyed Sarah Connor (y’know, from Terminator), she’s got a small frame, but is an absolute beast. She loves to change up her hair, but prefers the iron maiden, unladylike, or rude ridge styles and will often dye it bright-ass colors, cuz why not? She’s pretty pale considering the vault background and the fact she is constantly wearing full body combat or leather armor when she’s outdoors, and she has a few piercings she actually got before leaving the vault. 

What’s in a Name: 

- “Hope” was the name that her parents chose for her before she was even born, but she can’t stand it, she just tends to see it as a cruel joke in the world they live in. She instead goes by Effie (short for Ephialtes, cuz she’s edgy and dramatic and read too much in school). Hope tends not to tell anyone her real name, and if she does, you’d best not use it to refer to her, unless you like being enslaved. The only one who could ever get away with it is Jericho and a select few people from the vault (Stanley, and her father, but she’s still not happy about it.)

Sexuality: 

- Pansexual

Main Companion: 

- Jericho

Relationship(s): 

- She has a sort of “friends with benefits” type situation going with Jericho, but it ends up getting... complicated, and turning somewhat into a relationship.

Bestie(s):

- Even though he’s her boss, Hope likes to hang out with Eulogy when she’s in Paradise Falls. When she was in the vault, she spent a lot of time with Stanley, and was pretty close with Butch, Wally, and Paul as well. 

Fam Dam: 

- James and Catherine are/were her parents (obviously). But she also considered Stanley to be a sort of uncle to her. 

Karma: 

- Oh, the worst. She’s honestly awful. She steals, she murders, she enslaves, she blows up settlements, all of it. She’s got a lot of things she needs to work out...

Faction of Choice: 

- The Slavers of Paradise Falls. (Yeah... she sucks.) The Brotherhood and the Outcasts just never really struck her fancy, and her and Jericho found it was easy to make bank with the slavers. Hope also is a friend to Allistair Tenpenny and Mister Burke... and not the folks in Megaton. Cuz they’re all not really alive.

Vault Occupation: 

- Engineer

Fun Fact!:  

- Hope is really bad with empathy, and absolutely needs to experience something for herself before she can make any sort of judgement on it, or other people who have had that same experience.

My Courier Six: Sage

Appearence: 

- Sage doesn’t really consider herself very “flashy” in comparison to most folks in NV. She’s got shoulder length brown hair (blast back or clean cut style) and brownish-hazel eyes. She’s pretty damn tan (Mojave, you know) and doesn’t have many scars, but the ones on the right side of her forehead clearly indicate where she was shot in the head (thanks, Benny). She and Boone tend to twin quite a bit, with matching red berets and sunglasses.

What’s in a Name: 

- The poor girl has no clue what her real name was before she was shot, but she saw a box of labelled herbs in Doc Mitchell’s house when she was recovering from her headwounds and decided she liked the name “Sage.”

Sexuality: 

- Bisexual

Main Companion: 

- Craig Boone

Relationship: 

- Also Boone :) it’s a pretty darn slow-burn romance with lots of bumps along the way, but their love always seems to prevail. (Gross and sappy, I know)

Bestie(s): 

- Arcade, plus Rex, and ED-E. Also Victor and Doc Mitchell.

Fam Dam: 

- No clue, unfortunately. She eventually tries to find out something about her past and her family, if she has any, but she’s got a few things to deal with first (hint, one rhymes with pleaser’s fleegion).

Karma: 

- She may make mistakes along the way, but Sage really does try her best to be as good as possible. 

Faction of Choice: 

- Mr. House and the Followers of the Apocalypse. Would like to get rid of House, but can't bring herself to become responsible for everything once he's gone. She considers herself his personal empathy and tries to assist with the goings on of the Mojave even after the battle of hoover dam. Fucking wiped out everyone in the Legion. Her and Boone are a force to be reckoned with. And she never really cared much for the Brotherhood since she had such little interaction with them. She has a good relationship with Freeside and most of the settlements/other towns as well.

Previous Occupation: 

- Courier? She has no idea what else. But she’s oddly really good with medicine 🤔

Fun Fact!: 

- She supports Mr. House for a number of reasons, but one of the biggest is that she doesn't want to lose Victor. He saved her, and she considers the securitron to be her oldest friend (besides Doc Mitchell). She knows it's a little selfish, but she can't bring herself to put an end to him after he pulled her from her own grave and helped bring her back from the brink of death.

My Sole Survivor: Jolene Arvanidis-Ryan

Appearence: 

- She’s got auburn hair she usually keeps cut short (clean cut) or in a bun, green eyes, pale skin with a good amount of freckles and has exceptionally straight teeth (braces suck, but you know.) When traveling with Cait, people tend to think they’re related. Jolene tends to wear a black beret and, if she has the time and resources, she likes cat eye style eyeliner. 

What’s in a Name: 

- Her first name runs in the family... plus her dad really liked Dolly Parton, so that helped cement the first name for him. Nate’s last name was Arvanidis, and she tends to use that as her last name exclusively, she rarely reveals her maiden name (Ryan) to anyone. 

Sexuality: 

- Straight

Main Companion: 

- Paladin Danse

Relationship: 

- It takes a long time (post BB), but she ends up being with Danse. 

Bestie(s): 

- MacCready and Cait

Fam Dam:  

- Pre-war, her father was a carpenter and her mother was a major in the US military, she had no siblings and was very close with her father since her mom was often away on deployment. 

Karma: 

- Decent. Tries her best to do what’s “right,” but she sometimes has a hard time determining what that is. Is good at following orders, even if she doesn’t always agree with them (BB is the exception in this case).

Faction of Choice: 

- Brotherhood of Steel, at least until BB, then she tends to focus more on the Minutemen, but still stays by the BOS’s side when it comes to taking down the Institute. Despite her loyalty to the BOS, she always regrets what she did to the Railroad, and how she ended things with the Institute, and she holds quite a bit of resentment towards Elder Maxson for ordering her to pull the trigger that ended her son’s life, and the other lives within the Institute. 

Previous Occupation (Pre-War): 

- She was a Gunnery Sergeant in the US Military. (Trying to follow in her mother’s footsteps).

Fun Fact!: 

- She hates killing feral ghouls, but keeps it under wraps since she tends to travel with MacCready and Danse the most. After that random encounter where she found herself murdering her own neighbors, she can’t bring herself to look into the eyes of any feral ghouls she has to kill. 

Bonus! Fun Fact!:  

- She started out as my sort of "throw away" playthrough where I wanted to do a BOS run, just out of curiosity, but she ended up being my main playthrough… probably because Danse is just the best and I can't get enough of that tin can thesaur-ass.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About “Separate Tides” from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

...>A-hem< F**KING CALLED IT!

I said that the earliest that The Owl House would return would be late June and early July. And some of YYYOOOUUU sons of witches doubted me by saying it would be fall or winter. Well, guess what! "Separate Tides'' has come and gone, the show is back and better than ever, and we are all happy about it! You see how it pays to be optimistic, you persistent PACK OF PESSIMISTS!

...Sorry. Got a little hot there. I'm just so happy it's BACK!

10 MONTHS! It's been nearly 10 months since this show began its hiatus, large in part because of the pandemic. It was painful. BOY, was it painful. But I can already tell that the new season is going to be well worth the wait just by this episode alone.

But beware you mangey sea dogs! Thar be spoilers ahead when discussing such a premier.

And I swear to you that it's only spoilers for "Separate Tides." I haven't seen "Escaping Expulsion" either, and I promise you will be safe from anybody ruining it for you. But maybe don't read any responses from this post. Thar may be d**ks in these waters. So let's review, shall we!

WHAT I LIKE

Mirroring Season One’s Opening Scene: First off, this is a neat callback to what is the perfect first impression of the series. That scene perfectly introduces us to the type of show The Owl House is, while this one acts as a reintroduction to the world we left for way too long.

Second, this is also a well-hidden character moment. Luz is finally living the life she dreamed of, but it isn't exactly all that she expected. It's a great showcase that despite literally running away to a fantasy world, Luz is still getting a regular dose of reality. And I still love the irony in all of that.

(Plus, King eating the bounty is just funny).

The Recap Recording: This is a smart way to recap events from the season finale. It might be weird that Luz says things that the audience already knows, but she's not talking to us. She's talking to her mom. So she's going to explain all that she can in a way for Camila to fully understand. Besides, not every fan had repeatedly watched The Owl House Season One over and over again like a bunch of frickin' lunatics...You know who you are.

Plus, as an upside, Luz gets to explain new events and concepts for how she and the rest of the Owl House are making a living. In no way does it feel like forced exposition because, again, she's trying to describe as much as she can to her mother. It's a reasonable and natural way to talk to the audience in order to catch them up while also showing what's been happening since we've last left this show.

Luz Can’t Send Texts to Her Mom: ...Well, Texts to Home, it was fun while it lasted, but the current canon has decided that you're done. I'll miss you and appreciate all that you've done for me, but, yeah, this is the end. Sorry.

Alright, now that I got my jokes out of the way, allow me to explain how this is really a heartbreaking moment. Because the fact that Luz is forever cut off from her mother, even through texts, is an idea that just twists the knife in your heart when you really sit down to think about it. Luz's little goodbye at the end of her video does nothing but makes it worse.

On the upside, we get some solid character development as Luz doesn't even hesitate to send the video to Camila, learning her lesson from "Enchanted Grom Fright" about being more honest. She finally faced her fear, even if it was a fruitless effort.

They’re Doing Odd Jobs Now: This is a smart workaround for how the Owl House residents are making money. Some fans guessed that maybe Eda had so much junk piled up that they wouldn’t worry, but this seems more of a logical direction. Even if Eda had enough garbage to sell, she’ll can and will eventually run out at some point, meaning that they will all have to take the odd jobs anyway. So I appreciate the writers used that plot point sooner rather than later, as a fun romp as bounty hunters is something you want to do early in the season instead of later on. Especially with how Dana Terrace confirmed that s**t’s gonna go down in the future.

Lilith: ...I'm still willing to hold off--What the f**k did I say his name was? *looks up past review* Frederick Ulis--Frederick Ulisinsburg!

I am willing to hold off Frederick Ulisinsburg, for now, because Lilith is...sort of on the right track. I mean, I don't like how quick she was to playfully mock Eda or rudely yell at Hooty. But I do think that there is potential for her character. She feels genuine guilt for what she's done, and there's a chance that the new season will explore that further if the writers are smart (which they are). On top of that, there's a possibility that every time Lilith tries to act cocky or full of herself, she will be treated as a proverbial punching bag because of it. Like how her poster got burned down after boasting how impressive she looks. Or how Golden Guard's poster magically sealed itself to her face when Lilith tried to throw it away. It's the latter that primarily got me cackling like a madman due to how deservingly hilarious it was.

And, well...she happily clapped like a schoolgirl! Which was adorable! I can't hate characters who have the potential to be adorable! It's not in my nature!

So, while I am a little hesitant in liking her, I think there's a chance for improvement in her character in the future that I look forward to. We just have to wait and see if the writers pull it off.

(By the way, to the person that came up with Lilith wearing a "battery low" shirt...you're a genius in visual gags/storytelling.)

Greg’s List: Have I ever mentioned that this show is funny?

Who's Greg? Why does he organize a list of perfect bounties?

I don't know, but the idea of some random person in the Boiling Isles is putting it on himself to set up a list to make bounties...I'm sorry, but that's funny to me. It's also probably for how Craig's List was made, but when you really think about it, Craig's List is a funny idea as well.

Eda Isn’t Feared Anymore: I sort of guessed that this would happen, but seeing it is a whole different level of sympathy to feel for the character. Eda's main schtick was being the most powerful witch on the Isles, and that's gone now. She's forced to adapt to this new normal, which she's quick to do, but still. Tt's got to be a rough kick to the ego now that no one even cares about who she is anymore.

It's a low moment for her character that hopefully sets up her own arc for the rest of the season.

Luz Feels Like She’s a Burden: I will demolish her with love and kindness if she even CONSIDERS talking so poorly about herself again! Because Luz is not a burden. She is a beam of light that literally brightens up the lives of nearly everyone she meets. Eda already explains how her life is better because of Luz (through a heart-tugging speech that almost got to me, by the way), but it's not just Eda.

King now has his first real friend who admires him and treats him like the king he wants to be.

Willow has become much more confident and cheerful because Luz was always in her corner.

Gus learns more about the humans he appreciates with his whole heart while also having a friend that treats him like an equal rather than a kid.

And do I even have to say ANYTHING about Amity?

The Boiling Isles wouldn't be better off without Luz. It's better because of her. And shame on this girl for thinking otherwise...even though I fully understand where she's coming from.

I'm about to get personal for a second, so strap in. Because I am a twenty-somthing-year-old who is currently living with his mom. It's as pathetic as it sounds. But it's because I'm still attending college, and she says school comes first and jobs and apartments come second. Despite that, I feel like trash for just...living here as she still takes care of me and pays for the food I can't afford. She says that I shouldn't worry about it, but I still wait for the day I can finally pay her back for everything. Not some things, but everything. And that's Luz's mentality in this episode. The overwhelming guilt she's feeling for thinking she's inconveniencing Eda's life is something that hits really hard for me. It doesn't matter if it's true, but that she believes it's true. It's a heartbreaking character arc she's forced into for this episode that also adds more to why she's one of the many characters I heavily relate to.

Lulu and Hootstipher: Whoever thought of this idea...I f**king love you.

This is similar to when Noah and Owen became friends in Total Drama World Tour. Seemingly one-sided at first, you see a cute friendship that you would have never expected, but it works! Hooty is this happy and naive character who hardly understands what's going on half the time, and Lilith is...Lilith. Their chemistry is instantly fun as their dynamic is quick to understand.

This also shines with potential for character growth, for it could give Lilith a chance to be more caring and Hooty a chance to be more than just the comic relief. If you were to tell me that this is what was going to happen when the season premiered, I would have thought you were crazy. But now, after seeing it in action, I'm genuinely excited to see where this cute friendship between these two goes.

(As long as it doesn't involve fans shipping them. Because Hooty can do better)

Luz Getting Better with Her Magic: Our little bisexual princess is growing up! And, man, is it awesome to see. Luz going from just barely knowing how to do magic to full-on using her spells like second nature just warms my heart with all the character growth it presents. Now, some people might want an explanation for how she's able to do said spells, to which I say: "Who the f**k cares?"

If you ask me, Luz's magic is one of those things that doesn't need a direct answer because it doesn't matter as much. But if you're going to be a baby about it, here's what I can offer: As far as I can tell, it's equal parts having the glyph and mentally picturing what the spell should do. It's much like how Willow draws a spell circle and can either make giant jungle vines or a patch of flowers to land on. Luz's glyphs are her own spell circles. As long as she concentrates hard enough, she can make the glyph do whatever she wants it to.

There. You have your explanation. Now let's just all appreciate the fact that Luz can now throw fireballs and make vine whips like the superpowered teenager she most likely fantasized of being. Ok? Ok.

A Pirate Losing His Head...Literally: ...And I'm gonna go ahead and add that to the list.

I mean, for f**k's sake, WE SEE BONE! He puts his head back on, but we still see the bone!

Eda in a Pirate Outfit: ...That is all.

The Golden Guard: This guy shows up for only a few minutes, and I'm already beginning to like him. He seems just as threatening as Belos while also coming across as a guy who loves his job and being a ton of fun to watch because of it. I adore villains that find that balance of being funny and terrifying. The result is a character who makes me laugh on top of making me scared of what they could do to our protagonists. So far, that's the Golden Guard in a nutshell, and I can't wait to see what the rest of the season has in store with him. Whether it involves seeing him play with food as he did with Eda and Luz in this episode or seeing him getting kicked in the crotch like a little punk like him deserves, I am all for it.

(Bonus points if it's Amity who does the crotch kicking if he ever makes an advancement on Luz)

Eda Wanting to Protect the Selkidomus: I love this. It plays into the idea that Eda cares about things being wild and free and despises how Emperor Belos would want to control everything, including the most insignificant of animals. It shows just how kind Eda really is rather than someone motivated by greed...even if she does end up filthy rich in the end.

Emperor Belos’ Brief Cameo: Yup, still terrifying!

And if it turns out that Belos can see the Scrying Potion that Lilith made...we're going to have some problems.

Much like the actual problems that I have with this episode!

(Like that transition?)

WHAT I DISLIKE

King Being Stupid: King has two different personalities in this series. Either he's a pathetic wannabe ruler who seems intelligent or an idiotic Disney comedic sidekick. That latter version of King is what we get in "Separate Tides," and I don't like it (obviously). I don't care how cute it is to see him cling onto Luz's leg and exclaim how he won't let her leave. The same character who helped Luz break into a prison to save Eda shouldn't be the same one who falls asleep when a sheet covers him like a dumbass parrot! King's at his best when he's as intelligent as the rest of the characters. And not as dumb as someone like Hooty.

Eda Being Too Nice Around Lilith: This one bothers me the most. After being cursed for thirty years and having her life ruined by the person she thought she could trust the most, Eda is still all smiley and jokey when talking to Lilith. Yeah, sorry, but I don't buy that. No one in their right mind would be that cool with a person who did all of what Lilith did. It's a major misstep that squanders what could have been a fantastic overarching story of Eda learning to forgive her sister and Lilith trying to earn it. We'll at least get Lilith's guilt, but as is, I feel Eda showing genuine anger towards her would elevate that story by a lot.

IN CONCLUSION

But that's about all the bad things I have to say about "Separate Tides." As is, it is a well-earned, solid A of a season premiere. It introduces new concepts and characters I can't wait to see more of, continues old storylines and character development instead of ignoring them, and still proves that The Owl House is as charming and funny as it always was. Maybe the rest of the season could continue to be great, or maybe things might get worse. Time can only tell. For now, all I can tell you is that "Separate Tides" is a great and fun episode that makes me excited as we set sail to this new season.

(And Scared. Mostly scared)

[9worldstales]

MCU: Loki and Midgardian clothes

So, I’ve seen some fans wondering how could Loki fix Mobius’ tie since Asgardians clearly do not wear ties…

…and it made me wonder ‘is this a mistake or Loki was actually familiar with Midgardians clothes?’

So let’s start with the sources at our disposition to answer this question.

SOURCES MENTIONED:

Movies: “Thor” (2011), “The Avengers” (2012), “Thor – Ragnark” (2017)

Series: “Loki” [More exactly a scene from: “Marvel Studios' Loki | Official Trailer | Disney+”] (2021)

Comics: None mentioned

Direct-to-video animated film: None mentioned

Motion comics: None mentioned

Books: “The Art of Thor” (2011), “The art of The Avengers” (2012), “The Art of Thor: Ragnarok” (2017), “Marvel Studios: All your questions answered” (2018)

Novels: “Thor: Ragnarok - The Junior novel” by Jim McCann (2017)

Webs: None mentioned

Others: “Thor” old movie script

Okay, now we can start.

So, as weird as it might seem at first, the second answer, which is that Loki is familiar with Midgardian modern attires, might be the intended one, right from “Thor”.

Let’s go back to that movie.

Thor is clearly unfamiliar with present day Midgard as a whole, and so are his friends.

We’ve various moments in which Thor shows he’s unaware of present day Midgardians customs, like when he can’t realize he’s in doctors’ care and thinks they’re attacking him (in a deleted bit, when they tell him they’re trying to help him, he demands they bring him healing stones, showing he has no idea how Earth’s healing system work), or when he breaks a glass asking another believing he’s showing appreciation for the drink, or when he enters in a pet shop, demands a horse and when they tell him they’ve only dogs, cats, birds, demands one of them big enough to ride.

It doesn’t mean he never went to Midgard, in the movie there’s the implication he had been on Midgard before...

Thor: We're going to Jotunheim. Fandral: What? This isn't like a journey to Earth where you summon a little lightning and thunder, and the mortals worship you as a god. This is Jotunheim.

...and there was a cut scene in which he recognized being on Midgard and even calling it ‘Earth’.

Thor: Blue sky... one sun... This is Earth, isn't it?

And there’s another cut scene that says that yes, Sif and the Warriors Three had been on Earth… but a thousand years ago.

Volstagg: Is it just me, or does Earth look a little different to you? Sif: It has been a thousand years... Volstagg: Things change so fast here. You leave for a millennium, and it's like the whole neighborhood's gone.

Now, Loki was a babe in 965 AD and “Thor” takes place in 2011. Sif likely doesn’t mean exactly 1000 years but, what’s more, we don’t know how exactly Asgardians age in the MCU.

Does their childhood last as much as ours and then their aging process slow down so as to allow them to live 5000 years? Or their aging process is proportionately all slowed down and they remains babes for years?

I tend to think their childhood is fast and then they have a slower aging process once they reach a certain age, but anyway this is irrelevant. Even if Loki visited Midgard 1000 years before and was familiar with its customs back then, well, things, as Volstagg points out, are changed a lot.

So… where do we can get an idea if Loki is familiar with Midgard or not?

When Loki goes to see Thor, he shows up dressed up in 21st century Midgardian attire.

In “The Art of Thor” is said:

Said Craig Kyle, “Loki wants to look good, he’s a man of style… Loki actually has three looks, Thor has one.” In addition to the three costumes he wears in the otherworldy realm of Asgard, Loki also makes a brief appearance in a suit and tie. Said Tom Hiddleston, “When he turns up on Earth in the movie, [he’s] very GQ.”

(For who, like me, is not familiar with the term GQ, it is used to describe a guy who is dressed nicely, very sleek, or very sexy to the ladies, The term comes from the men's fashion magazine named GQ (=Gentlemen's Quarterly).)

They don’t really explains why Loki decided to dress up like that, but the fact he chose to is meaningful.

Loki was going to see Thor, and he only let Thor see him.

He appears in the room Thor was, presumably after waiting for a while inside it but invisible since he complains about how he thought Coulson would never leave. When Coulson is back, Loki has magically disappeared again.

People doesn’t see Loki, not even when he tries to lift up Mjolnir.

Long story short, Loki’s attire is not to disguise himself as a human among humans and walk among them unnoticed, as he just doesn’t let them see him at all, and if he were, his very fashionable outfit would likely draw more gazes than anything else (compare it with Coulson’s plain suit), especially when he tries to lift Mjolnir while all around it there are scientists dresses in scientist garbs and guards dressed in guard uniforms.

So we can see Loki didn’t need to dress as a human to see Thor, he could have very well gone there in his normal Asgardians clothes, like he does when he goes to visit Laufey...

...though he could have forsaken the armour when visiting Thor, and just show up in his normal attire.

Instead Loki picked up a stylish Midgardian outfit to go meet his brother. Be it an illusion (more likely) or real clothes, Loki knew how a fashionable 21st century Midgardian would dress and decided to dress as such even though there was no need for it. This implies a familiarity with Midgard, or at least with its dressing style, which I genuinely doubt could have been a topic of study for Asgardians... even though Odin too was familiar with Midgardians attires as, when he bans Thor to Earth, he changes his clothes into modern, ordinary, definitely not fashionable Midgardian ones.

Loki knows the secret paths between words, it can be he travelled to Midgard and, once there, grew to like the elegant style we have.

But yes, this doesn’t necessarily mean he could learn how to fix a tie, as his clothes might be an illusion.

The final bit of “Thor” is a bit of a confusing thing as it shows Loki (dressed in Asgardian clothes) invisible to other people’s eyes controlling Selvig...

...which is confirmed by “Marvel Studios: All your questions answered” which describes that scene as:

Loki controls Selvig as he examines the Tesseract.

If Loki had controlled Selvig for an extensive period he might have learnt to tie ties as Selvig wears one.

However, although this scene was created and directed by Joss Whedon, this scene is kind of forgotten when “The Avengers” rolls around.

In it Selvig is free from Loki’s control until Loki uses the sceptre with the mind stone to turn him into his servant.

Now… “The Avengers”.

The story starts by night, with Loki arriving in the S.H.I.E.L.D. research center in which Selvig is studying the Tesseract.

Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner, Steve Roger and Tony Stark are all warned during night. It’s possible it’s the same night, maybe it’s the night after.

It’s full day when Steve Roger travels with Coulson. The following scene shows Loki remembering his talk with the Other and then we’ve Steve reaching the Helicarrier and meeting up with Natasha and Bruce.

Then Loki shows up at Stuttgart Museum again dressed up in 21st Century attire with his sceptre disguised as a cane. This time Loki is sort of disguising himself, as he’s actually planning to draw attention on himself but, at first, in a subtle manner so it makes sense he dressed up as a Midgardian to move among Midgardians so as not to alert common people but end up being tracked by SHIELD because they can see him on monitors and recognize him… something they wouldn’t be able to do had he been invisible.

Loki drops his disguise only later, after he has sent a holographic image of Dr. Heinrich Schafer’s eye to Barton. He confront with Steve and Tony and vanish his armour… remaining in Asgardian clothes. He’s short after taken by Thor, who then argues with Steve and Tony until Thor decides to get along with them and Loki is carried on the Helicarrier all in the same night.

Natasha takes care to inform us Loki killed 80 people in 2 days. This should mean Loki is on Midgard by two days.

Why all this is relevant?

Again Loki dressed up as a stylish Midgardian,

...his clothes similar to the ones he had in “Thor” yet vaguely different (in “Thor” the coat is green, in “The Avengers” black and the scarf motive is slightly different) and even knew that, in order to disguise the sceptre, he can’t mask it as, let’s say, a pitchfork but a cane. It’s true, since he’s been on Earth by 2 days, this time he could have gotten that knowledge by Barton or Selvig.

“The art of The Avengers” again doesn’t tell us much apart that:

“Joss and Kevin both wanted a different look for Loki in The Avengers, in part for the fans and in part to serve the story,” Visual Development Supervisor Charlie Wen said.” For Loki, his costumes evolved from the super-clean look of the Asgard from Thor to a much grittier and more lived-in look to show the changes he’s gone through since then.” “For Thor and Loki, much of our inspiration came from Jack Kirby’s original character designs,” Wen said. “Loki represent mischief. He is a cultured traveller.”

But, if we put clothes aside, Loki is also aware of how:

Loki: The humans slaughter each other in droves, while you idly threat. I mean to rule them. And why should I not?

It’s something Thor didn’t seem to know/realize.

This seems to imply Loki knows about Earth’s history or, at least, of its present situation. Yes, he might have had a crash course in history of Earth courtesy by Clint or Selvig, but he might have also learnt it by himself in trips on Earth since Odin didn’t seem interested in Earth beyond protecting it from some attacks from creatures from other realms (he helps against the Frost Giants, however he doesn’t seem aware of the Skrulls and Krees walking on its surface nor he cares to check what humans do with the Tesseract doing nothing when Red Skull uses it to produce weapons) so he might not have bothered having his son learning about Midgard’s history and situation.

The last time we see Loki dressed as a human is in “Thor: Ragnarok”.

In it his clothes are much more simple than usual as he only wears a black suit, no scarf, no coat.

In “The Art of Thor: Ragnarok” there’s actually not one but 2 arts for more elaborate suits with coat but they were clearly discharged as Loki never wears them in the movie.

“Thor: Ragnarok The Junior novel” which is based on an earlier script says:

They were dressed in regular Earth street wear – shirt and slacks – and Thor carried an umbrella. His hair was swept back into a ponytail. Loki’s magic was projecting an illusion onto the duo.

...which seems to imply the scriptwriter originally didn’t even think dressing Loki stylish… and anyway mostly focused on Thor... so it’s possible Loki’s attire in the movie is a compromise between the scriptwriter, who though to dress Loki in shirt and slacks, and "Thor: Ragnarok” Visual Development Supervisor Andy Park who wanted to put him in an elegant and stylish suit as the other Visual Development Supervisors had done.

Still, the scriptwriter too thinks Loki is aware of how, if Thor wants to keep an object in his hands, it has to look like something ordinary and how an umbrella can fit the bill. As it didn’t rain during Loki’s short permanence on Earth, the fact he knows umbrellas exist and is acceptable to carry them around seems to imply Loki has an idea of how Earth works.

So all this to say… yes, Loki might be more familiar with Earth than it looked like and he might have learnt how to make a tie or, at least, how to fix it since this is more what he seems to do in that scene in “Marvel Studios' Loki | Official Trailer | Disney+”

We can only wait and see if “Loki” will give us more explanations about this scene or it will just toss it in and not bother to explain it at all.

Meanwhile I’ll have fun thinking before things went wrong Loki used to come on Earth and look up on fashion magazines and love the idea of how good he would look in such clothes that he began to dress up according to Midgard fashion style each time he got to set a feet on it.

[hellpark]

GREGORY: I don’t quite like the wording of these questions I’m reading in Craig’s little virtual post box.

GREGORY: But lest he tries to foolishly answer questions not best suited for him, I will step in I suppose.

GREGORY: It’s clear he’s made a fine job of telling you all about my friends and I.

GREGORY: Or, quite possibly the very narrow light of which he’s seen us in at least.

GREGORY: Which is to say, he’s probably described us all rather poorly.

GREGORY: It is true, both Pip and Thomas both are nothing but kindhearted individuals.

GREGORY: Both have had their share of bullying, misfortune, and untimely deaths.

GREGORY: I’d say Pip’s I can relate to more, but Thomas’ just upsets me a great deal.

GREGORY: Not to rank either of their tribulations, I just believe I have a better grasp of exactly why Pip didn’t end up in heaven.

GREGORY: He’s had eight years to explain it to me, after all.

GREGORY: And so I will attempt to explain it to you all though what he has told me over the years.

GREGORY: They both deserve to have their stories told the correct way, and not however it would have been explained by the doltish owner of this weblog.

GREGORY: To start, I believe Pip started up in heaven.

GREGORY: Though, he never made it through the pearly gates, which is what truly grants you a pleasant and bright eternal afterlife.

GREGORY: Once you make it through that barrier, the only way you’re doomed is if you cause religious mishap, or truly gain some sort of evil intent.

GREGORY: Of course, this is only the Christian afterlife we’re speaking of.

GREGORY: And seeing that I’m possibly talking to possibly a baker’s dozen of strangers over the internet right now, I’d like to state that I have no outer knowledge of the afterlives of any religion other than my own.

GREGORY: I can say with certainty that a Christian hell is not the greatest source of outside knowledge, as much as it has progressed down there.

GREGORY: I feel as though these stories would be entirely different if the two had been risen under different minded households, so please spare some judgement on my part if this seems rather one sided of me to speak of.

GREGORY: So again, I am sharing only what I’ve been told of, and under a Christian mindset.

GREGORY: My intent is not to nullify any other afterlife, only to elaborate on my friends and I’s.

GREGORY: ...

GREGORY: I honestly forgot where I was.

GREGORY: ...Ah, yes.

GREGORY: Pip’s hellish status.

GREGORY: As I stated, once you make it through those heavenly gates, you’re officially a resident of the eternal life in the sky.

GREGORY: Normally, unless you are turned away for sneaky wrongdoings not seen through the watchful eyes of heaven, there is no issue getting in.

GREGORY: And for someone like Pip, the prior shouldn’t ever have been an issue.

GREGORY: All the time I’ve ever known of him-- through life and death-- is that he is kind, generous, and rarely wears a frown.

GREGORY: He gives his pleases and thanks, and he rarely acts unjust.

GREGORY: From the times he’s told me that he has, even those instances sound rather just.

GREGORY: My time knowing him alive wasn’t all too long, but a year or so before he had gone missing, never to be seen again.

GREGORY: He doesn’t like to talk about his own death very much, but from what I can tell it was certainly during a time of travesty.

GREGORY: And during such times, the gates can get overwhelmed and swollen with other unfortunate cases.

GREGORY: Certainly, everybody at their untimely death could not wait to see their afterlife.

GREGORY: Some sorrowful, some full of hope that the worst of it all was over.

GREGORY: From how he described it, Pip was more on the latter side of the crowd.

GREGORY: And so imagine...

GREGORY: When you think it’s all over.

GREGORY: When you think life has finally given you a break, and you’re able to move onto a better one...

GREGORY: That even up in heaven, there’s still nobody that cares enough about you.

GREGORY: A simple break in the clouds due to deceased overpopulation.

GREGORY: Nobody turns their heads.

GREGORY: Nobody thinks to look behind them and see what they’ve been ever so gently pushing back over their greed of a happy afterlife.

GREGORY: And greed is a sin, mind you.

GREGORY: So they just continue to shuffle their feet and wait for their now undeserved turn into heaven.

GREGORY: And the wings you sprout after death are there for your tiring travel upwards.

GREGORY: It’s an exhausting journey to heaven, your new wings wont fly you a second time until you’ve reached your destination completely.

GREGORY: So if you’re denied entry before you can make it through, there’s no real way to fly back up until it’s far too late.

GREGORY: In life, Pip was never destined to go to hell.

GREGORY: In death, he still was not destined to go to hell.

GREGORY: But look at where the carelessness of others have brought him.

GREGORY: Where life can be cruel, death can be just as much so.

GREGORY: ...Though...

GREGORY: Sometimes, while life and death may both sow their unjust seeds... a lot of what normally decides where you end up is your own actions in life, of course.

GREGORY: Thomas of course was nothing but a sweetheart.

GREGORY: From what he’s told me, though he couldn’t go to a church publicly due to his developed anxiety over his Tourette’s, he always made up for it by watching church service with his mother at home. 

GREGORY: Every single Sunday, he told me.

GREGORY: Though like some people, especially in more depressing periods of their life, he began to question his faith.

GREGORY: There came a point where he didn’t know what he should truly believe in.

GREGORY: He never did anything wrong, as he always listened and obeyed the strict followings of Catholicism.

GREGORY: And though he was many things most extreme Christians would call sinful, he still would choose to believe, all that time.

GREGORY: In the end, none of what he was would have ever sent him to hell.

GREGORY: He truly is just too innocent and nice of a person.

GREGORY: Though sometimes, after traumatic experiences in life, it can kick your belief system like a switch.

GREGORY: After loss, it can be hard to believe.

GREGORY: And apparently loss for Thomas meant cutting out an entire part of his life that he had believed for fifteen years beforehand.

GREGORY: “How can you believe in a god if it feels like you’re only on Earth to suffer?”

GREGORY: It truly hurt my heart to hear him tell me the way he felt.

GREGORY: But in the end, it made sense why he was in hell.

GREGORY: Attaching yourself to faith for so long, believing in a god, then ditching a life worth’s of devotion in an instant.

GREGORY: That’s what truly damned him to hell.

GREGORY: In the end it was only that loss of faith that flipped his destiny upside down.

GREGORY: For a while, he was in such a state of grieving, you knew you were still in hell.

GREGORY: Hell isn’t what he believed it to be anymore, of course.

GREGORY: Most of us had grown used to it, and even enjoyed the new era we were living in.

GREGORY: But it still stung for him.

GREGORY: Only in hell could you still hear the wallowing of the afterlife.

GREGORY: And of course, he only blamed himself.

GREGORY: He did two things that society said would damn him to hell.

GREGORY: But only one of them was what really did it.

GREGORY: Of course he didn’t realise this.

GREGORY: He sobbed for what felt like weeks, because he thought that the way he died... was what sent him here.

GREGORY: We would constantly reassure him that the means of his death did not attribute to his afterlife.

GREGORY: We even had him talk to the Devil himself-- of which we’re fortunate friends of.

GREGORY: He, too, could only assure Thomas that it was not the way he died, but the way he chose to squander his faith.

GREGORY: It’s a harsh reality, and it’s unclear if he grasps it fully, even after a full year and a half.

GREGORY: I’ve always thought that if he had someone in life to help steer him in a better direction, he wouldn’t have gone out the way he did, nor would he have been sent to hell.

GREGORY: His ex certainly never did any good for him.

GREGORY: Even if Thomas claims his ex was the best thing in his life.

GREGORY: How could someone like that be the best thing in your life if they let you fall this far down a rabbit hole?

GREGORY: Thomas truly is as ignorant as he is pitiful.

GREGORY: We’re full of experiences that Stan and his friends would never, ever grasp.

GREGORY: I can’t believe this is a question that needed to be elaborated upon.

GREGORY: But if I’m not answering them, that fool of a man Craig would be instead.

GREGORY: I’m sure he’d paint Pip and Thomas both as monsters here.

GREGORY: But I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.

[sleepysailorghost]

Tonight Tonight at the Ultra Luxe

Arcade had once joked about how Antietam nearly had an army to their name. All crowded together in the Lucky 38, it seemed like they had found that army.

They never spoke about how the Courier had been permitted to enter the casino and claim it as their castle. The Courier had just returned with the keys one day, saying they had found a place if the Atomic Wrangler felt too crowded.

Veronica didn't know the Courier well, something which she subscribed to some design of the Courier's. A desire to remain anonymous, seeing as Veronica didn't even know their real name.

But Christine did. Christine knew them well-made saved their life and been saved in return. They had dragged Christine from the red-cloud hell Veronica only knew as the Sierra Madre.

It feels weird coming to the Courier to ask a favor. Truthfully, the Courier had never even Veronica a name to go off of-she only knew the Courier's name to be Antietam because they had told Christine. But Antietam got stuff done and they had enough sway to get into places Veronica could only ever dream about.

She asks the Courier if they can speak privately. The Courier smiles, and tells her that yeah, they can talk in another room.

They walk into the Courier's room. None of Antietam's are lounging around for once. It reminds her of the last time they spoke in private,

"Sorry I didn't give this to you earlier. I should have, but I didn't." The courier prompted, and then scrabbled for something in their desk drawer. "I didn't know you when I got it, and then I didn't put it together until you told me about Christine, and then I didn't have it on me, and then I-well, I just didn't see you."

Having found whatever they were looking for, Antietam straightened and took a step towards Veronica.

"Uhh, you might want to open this later. It might be upsetting?" They said. "It's uhh...from Father Elijah."

"How did you get this?" Veronica gasped.

"Madre. Probably should have told you about it before. " They brushed the back of their neck sheepishly, but Veronica was too focused on the tape to care. "Sorry, again."

"And you just had this?"

"Yeah...Sorry. I didn't know it was for you at first, and I didn't know how to open it." And then they changed the topic. "Sorry, what did you want?"

Veronica still didn't know how to feel about this. She felt sort of betrayed, actually.

"Well, Christine and I-I'm sorry can we go back to the Elijah thing?" Veronica stuttered.

"It was before I met you." Antietam started. "I was a nameless courier with no past, just two lead slugs in my skull. I heard a broadcast that led to a bunker. When I entered the bunker, there was something-a gas -that knocked me out. They separated me from my friend, and when I woke up, there was a bomb collar around my neck and a man who called himself Elijah."

They paused for a second, either to let Veronica ask a question or to catch their breath.

"I'm sure you've heard a lot of this from Christine, so I'll just sum up. We ended up in the casino's vault, right? And then I killed Elijah-promised I would. He had this on him. I shoved it in a drawer when I got home."

This was the part where Veronica could have used a question break, but Antietam continued.

"Then I met you. I didn't put it together that you were the same Veronica that Elijah knew, not at first. Even if I had thought to ask, I wouldn't have had any idea on what to say. Then you mention Christine and I knew. And I should have brought you his tape, but again, at home in a drawer."

"And then we stopped traveling together." Veronica filled in.

"Yeah. And I ran off to the Madre and then the Divide and I had stuff to do." They grimaced for a second before remarking. "Bad form for a Courier."

Veronica put the tape in her pocket. She didn't know what to feel about the tape.

"Anyway, what did you want? Something for Christine?" The Courier's question jolts her back to the present, and she focuses on them.

"Yeah. Since Christine and I-well we've gotten close and I want to go on a date with her."

"Yeah? Good for y'all."

"And I was wondering if you could set up a date for us?"

"I don't know about that? I've never been on a date. So I wouldn't know what to do?"

"Really?" Veronica said, wondering what kind of a boyfriend Craig must be.

"Not one I remember, anyway." They responded defensively. "But I can try and help?"

"You will?"

"Y'know I actually have been meaning to check out the Ultra-Luxe..."

"Oh that'd be perfect-and I want a dress! A pretty one!"

"The prettiest." Antietam said, digging around in their dresser and producing a dress. "And I might have just that dress. It doesn't fit me right, but it might fit you."

It was nicer than anything she had ever seen. The material of the dress was shiny and dark, with a red satiny trim.

"I'll stand in the hall. You try it on."

"Where did you find this-what is this? No, Antietam, I can't take this!"

Antietam lowered their eyes and looked at Veronica.

"Try it on. I'll be in the hall."

The dress fit-she didn't think it would for a second, a moment where the ancient zipper stuck on the silky material-but it did. After a few minutes, there was a noise at the door, and someone softly called her name.

Her reverie broke and she scrambled to let the Courier back in.

The silky material moved against her skin as she walked to the door. There was a long slit up the skirt's side, but it must have been made that way because the edges were machine-sewn.

Antietam's eyes were wide, reverent as they looked at Veronica.

"Why, miss Veronica, aren't you a sight?" They said, and Veronica felt herself blush in response.

"Aw, stop. You're going to make me melt." She jokes.

"And it fits ok?"

"Fits better than okay!"

"Alright! Go woo Christine, I'll settle things at the Ultra Luxe! Head on over in say, fifteen minutes?"

"Okay!" Veronica left the Courier, but they returned much earlier than Veronica thought.

"Sorry," They said, sheepishly. "They wouldn't let me in. Even though it was pretty empty...And there was this guy looking for his son...I might go help him."

"Oh, can I go with you? If I wear the dress?" Veronica asked. "Sounds like you might need another set of eyes."

"I'll go too." Christine chimed in.

"Sure, why not. Always glad to travel with you."

It was a short walk to the Ultra Luxe. Veronica had never been in the building-most people hadn't and would never.

She looked over at Christine and her cheeks flushed a little. She liked Christine, despite everything and she was helpless to pretend otherwise.

The luxury casino was grand, but empty. Not as empty as the Lucky '38 had been, but it was empty nonetheless. Shame, no one would get to see her pretty dress.

"Let's speak to the manager," Antietam said, "They should know something."

"Good enough place to start." Veronica agreed. Although Christine said nothing, she nodded along.

The manager turned out to be a woman named Marjorie. Although she was cooperative, she did not have a lot to say that was helpful. Mainly, she just pointed them over to her boss, Mortimer.

Veronica got the feeling that this was going to be one of those wild-goose chase sort of nights, and she bemoaned her attire for a moment. Sure, she looked elegant as hell, but she didn't want to get it dirty.

"A missing bride, huh? Maybe she ran off with the son...No, that's probably not it." Veronica said as they hunted for Mortimer. "Maybe she just got cold feet."

"Or maybe something happened to her." Christine chimed in, running a hand gently over Veronica's shoulder and back. It's a simple, protective gesture.

For such a casual move, Veronica's face burns a bright red.

Antietam agreed, and they tracked down Mortimer.

Mortimer sure was a character. He had a deranged look about him, and he looked extremely distrustful of them, especially when the courier mentioned the investigator. Still, he handed over the key to the investigator's room.

"Maybe he'll have a clue about missing son. Maybe the cases are related." Veronica said, putting her hand in Christine's. Christine blushed and then entwined her hand with Veronica's.

They opened the door using the key Mortimer had given them.

"Oh." Antietam said. "He's dead."

"Shit." Veronica agreed. "Check his pockets?"

"Couldn't hurt."

There was a note in his pockets, saying to meet at four.

"That's not long from now. You wanna see what this meeting's about?' Antietam asked.

"Why not? Not like we've got any other leads."

Then the guys with canes showed up.

Veronica swore. She had turned over her weapons at the counter-she was unnarmed. Pushing one of the assailants out of their way, she made eye contact with Christine, understanding with a glance that they were both in the same situation.

Antietam wasn't. A little pop-pop of a silenced .22 handgun, and their attackers lay dead on the floor.

"What? I don't like to be unnarmed." Nothing good ever happened to Antietam when their things were taken from them.

"Nice holdout. Would have been handy back in the Madre." Christine commented.

"Not headshots. They'd get back up if this were the Madre."

The conversation drops after that, and they walk down to the sauna room.

"Might be a little cramped in there." Antietam says casually. "Wait out here?"

"Sure." Christine agrees, and Veronica wonders if maybe she shouldn't have her casino-traumatized bestie set her up for a date with her casino-traumatized crush. Then she reminds herself that Antietam could have said no, right?

After a few minutes, a man walks past them into the steam room. Although she can't hear it, presumably the man speaks to the courier. Then there's a gunshot and then another.

She and Christine look at each other, but the courier exits in a second.

"Well, I found out what happened to the kid, but the contact's dead. Not me, but I got the attacker." Sheepishly, they rub at their neck. "Remember how there were rumors about this being a restuarante for cannibals?"

"Oh shit." Christine says. Veronica gags a little.

"He's still alive though. We can get him out. Just need to do something about the White Gloves...Chauncey said we could maybe drug them, but I don't like that. Or serve them something that's not people meat."

Even though Marjorie hadn't been much help earlier, she offers the courier a pretty dress-not as pretty as Veronica's though-and a member's key. The courier changes into the dress, shoving their long duster and pants into their backpack.

"If I were a cannibal hiding my future meal...where would I put it?" the courier muses.

"The freezer probably." Veronica says, mainly as a joke, but then it makes sense. The freezer would be out of the way and hard to escape from.

Lo and behold, the boy's in the freezer. It's been a weird day, Veronica thinks.

"We have to make the fake dinner first so they don't try this with another guy." Antietam added, pulling a slip of paper that read "Philippe's Recipes" from a pocket of their backpack.

In the end, the son was reunited with his father. Mortimer was killed, but Veronica thought that might be for the best.

Veronic cuddled into her girlfriend.

"I guess it's good that the Ultra-Luxe only catered to the rich." She said, "Who knows what we might have ended up eating?"

"Besides," Christine chimed in, "I like being here with you more than anything there."

[sparkles-and-trash]

South Park Main 5, Headcanons Masterpost  ~

Stan Marsh 

Looks: 

hair is actually nice and somewhat floppy naturally, but because he wears a hat most of the time, it’s usually flat and a little greasy kshdhsd

hair is that blue-ish black color

eyes is piercing ice blue 

skin is light, kind porcelain like, but he also tans really fast?

soft sweaters are the only thing he’ll wear from early autumn to late spring

in summer he’ll literally only wear band shirts and flannels lol 

Personality and General Trivia:

totally cares more for animals than most people let’s be real 

sometimes he struggles with seeing things from others point of view and ha can come across as a little self centered 

he is aware of it tho and tries to be better at it 

his instagram is filled with Sparky haha 

let’s Sparky sleep in his bed every single night even tho Sharon tells him not to 

likes reading and writing, has a tiny obsession with dark themes and Lovecraftian stuff 

he and Kenny volunteers at the local pet shelter and homeless shelter together 

the pet shelter was Stan’s idea, and the homeless shelter was Kenny’s 

wants to be edgy but is really just very soft

“Kyle said...” 

believes everything Kyle tells him lol 

enjoys video games a lot, prefers single player, story based ones tho 

also still enjoys boardgames a lot, and when the big group isn’t up for hit, he, Tweek, Jimmy, Butters and Cartman groups together to nerd it out 

has clinical depression, but is managing it with help of a therapist, his mom and friends

sometimes things gets pretty dark, but he is getting better at reaching out and asking for help in those times 

Friendships:

like I mentioned above, he struggles a bit with seeing things for other’s point of view 

but he is aware of his flaws and is trying to be better

can get a little bit caught up in his own drama, but listens when his friends tells him he needs to get over himself 

will always stand up for his friends, especially if they’re not there to do it themselves 

when he starts getting closer with Butters in early high school he gets really upset when he realizes how much he gets shit-talked 

enjoys spending time with his friends individually, probably the most of the group, and takes initiative to do so a lot 

which is very important to Kenny, since he tends to feel a little overlooked sometimes, and it makes their friendship really strong 

same with Butters, except Butters doesn’t usually doesn’t mind mainly being in a group, but the first few times and Stan hangs out alone it’s obvious he really appreciates it 

Family:

daddy issues 

sorry I don’t make the rules lol 

has a decent relationship with Sharon tho

she’s a good mom 

and he wants to be a good son 

Shelly is still kinda angry and scary

she keeps the “only I can beat you up bro” attitude and there is secretly mutual respect there

but we don’t talk about that!!! 

Ships and relationships:

okay so my main ships for him are stutters (Butters), stenny (Kenny) and Style (Kyle) 

my fav is stutters tho 

I usually head canon him as bi or pan, but as with everyone in SP, I’m open to different interpretations if different Au’s and stories! 

I just really like the idea of them learning to balance facing their issues AND celebrate the good things in life together 

I def think he can be a bit insecure in relationships, struggling with feeling like he’s not enough, and would need a partner that naturally will be affirming and positive 

that’s not to say he’s super needy or clingy, he’s just a bit insecure 

but I really think he would truly be a good partner 

he’s caring, kind and very appreciative 

which is again why I really like him with Butters offh 

Kenny McCormick 

Looks:

sandy blonde hair that’s always messy and floppy/softly curled 

teeth is kind of crooked due to lack of funds for braces 

his front teeth are kinda big and has a significant gap 

lots and lots of freckles man 

all over his face, shoulders, back, hands and arms 

tans fast 

I actually really like him with brown eyes? like, soulful deep brown eyes 

but also very, very clear blue ones, like almost unnatural (yes that’s a mysterious thing) 

medium tall 

wears his hoodies, usually with the hood up, no matter if it’s freezing or a heatwave

not conventionally attractive, but charming looking lol 

likes to wear some eyeliner every now and then

and nail polish, but it’s like super clumsily put on and always chipped

Personality and General Trivia:

falls asleep in class a lot, but always seems to know the answer if the teacher asks him something

also has decent grades

I think he’s way smarter than he gives himself credit for, both socially and school wise 

the therapist of the groups 

actually, the therapist of the whole school 

knows a lot of secrets due to this, but he always, ALWAYS keeps them 

I see him as very friendly and approachable, but terribly hard to get close with

lots and lots of walls, man

very much an observer type? 

quietly stays in the background if that’s an option

but if he is talked too, or feels like he has something to really contribute to in a conversation he’ll jump in and be comfortable talking and taking up space if he is with friends or people he knows 

if not, he’ll just stay in the background with that.... look on his face that just makes you know he knows more than he says 

works at Tweek’s parents coffee shop, is kinda close with Tweek because of this 

zones out a lot 

“…what?” 

can fall asleep anywhere

Friendships:

is pretty close friends with Butters! 

Butters used to have a little crush on him, but Kenny didn’t find out until years later lol 

he also has a lot of patience with Cartman compared to the others

which is why Cartman actually cares when Kenny sets him in his place 

likes learning new things, and does that with Kyle a lot! 

both school and homework stuff, and things like cooking and other homey stuff, the two of them really bond with this 

him and Stan volunteer together, and I already mentioned, and that time means a lot to Kenny 

since he works with Tweek, the two of them are pretty close and good friends 

is the one of the main boys who gets along the best with Craig and those guys

actually hangs out with them from time to time, so does Butters

it low-key drives the others crazy

Family:

I often like to think his parents would keep having these bursts where they try to get their shit together? 

and it’s slow, and one step back and two backwards, but the fact that they’re trying at all means a lot to the kids after years of them... not 

I can also see Kevin stepping up and taking more charge, Kevin get’s way too little love in this fandom! 

Kenny usually never fights with his sibs

but when he does it’s with Karen, usually because he’s worried about her and it’s nor pretty

none of them can stay mad at each other for long tho

Kevin trying to be all “big brother” and kinda failing because he is chaotic, but he really wants to do right and Karen and Kenny knows that and appreciates it 

Ships and relationships:

ohhh kay here we go, unpopular opinions ahead! 

first, my main Kenny ships are Tokenny (Token x Kenny) and Stenny 

rn Tokenny is my main, I love the potential dynamics, both with their personalties and backgrounds and families 

I tend to head canon him as pan or bisexual, and demiromatic 

I know the demiromantic part is... controversial, at best 

but hear me out! 

I see him being very comfortable with discussing sexual stuff, and being attracted to someone physically is never something he feels awkward or bad about 

but when it comes to more emotional connections, he is way more awkward and fumbling 

for those who doesn’t know, a demiromatic person (like myself! surprise!) won’t have crushes or romantic feelings for someone they don’t already have some form of emotional bond with! We can still feel sexual attraction tho, and some of us are comfortable with casual sexual encounters (like me!) and others are not, and both are very valid! 

I usually have two ways of writing him 

either him being comfortable having casual sexual interactions, but struggling with the romantic aspect and having to figure out how this works for him 

OR 

him having some trauma related to debating sexually very early, thinking he was all ready and it was just sex, but getting his emotions caught up in it and being very heartbroken and confused, and therefore having issues with being intimate with people for a while 

I mix them up depending on the story, but the first one is usually my go-to! 

Kyle Broflovski 

Looks:

he still covers his hair a lot, either with hats or hoods? 

because I really see him being insecure about it 

it’s a medium sort of red, and like, really curly and fluffy 

not frizzy, big like... big 

I usually give him green eyes, but I also could see him with a light brown or hazel! 

some light freckles on his face that only really shows up if he’s spent time in the sun 

pretty tall, kind of lanky 

d i m p l e s 

Personality and General Trivia:

big nerd energy

in every way, board games, video games, loves school, like genuinely, enjoys studying for tests, loves fantasy books, the longer and more complicated the better 

co-captain of the debate team with Wendy 

is good with arguments unless he gets too passionate on the subject, or if someone knows his weak points and uses them to tick him off

it’s usually Cartman  

his mom wants him to go to an Ivy League but honestly he just wants to go to the same one in Denver as Stan, Butters and Cartman are planning on, and now that Kenny is also considering it he seriously think he’ll die if all his friends go to the same college without him

he struggles with FOMO, which is kind of an issue since he’s a busy guy, and some of his friends are not lol 

if any one of these kids become a jock, it’s def Kyle with his basketball change my mind- 

but not like, a letterman wearing fuckboy type of jock, but like, is obsessed with his sport and his team and works really hard to do well type of jock

Friendships:

very loyal 

he and Stan walks Sparky together at least twice a week, just to be sure they’re always caught up with each other even when they’re busy with school, sports and dating

yeah they’re still super best friends 

when they started high school he got closer to Wendy as she’s also on the debate team, in all of his AP classes and they share a lot of the same interests  

they’re still good friends, but nothing more

the first time Cartman got really drunk was at a party freshman year, and at the time everyone was pretty fed up with him, and he ended up crying and Kyle found him, and Cartman thinks Kyle doesn’t remember, but he does 

that was the first night Kyle really kinda understood why Cartman was the way he was, and even though he still thinks he’s a dick at times, he tries to remember everyone have a story, and to give people time 

but he often gets too riled up to remember that lol 

good pals with Jimmy, they share a lot of interests in fantasy stuff and have the same humor 

he also start to go along well with Craig when they are around middle school age, but they’re both kinda too stubborn to admit they’re friends until a year later lol  

Family:

even tho Sheila is pretty overbearing and can be too much, he is a mommy’s boy deep down 

tense relationship with his dad 

enjoys cooking, so that’s where he spends a lot of time with his mom! 

tries his best to keep up with Ike and his life

sometimes he is a tad cringy when doing so, but Ike appreciates the gesture 

Ike is pretty confident and strong in himself so he doesn’t care if Kyle is a bit awkward lol 

the type of brothers who genuinely enjoys spending time together 

Ships and relationships:

I like Style, Kyman, K2 and Kyvid! 

I think he’d be a late bloomer when it comes to love and dating

struggles with opening up and letting himself feel these things 

I often think of him as biromantic asexual, but I’m not always set on it! 

he’d enjoy traditional dinner and a movie type of dates a lot, such a nerd 

Eric Cartman 

Looks:

keeps his hair cut pretty short and styled

has heterochromia iridium (different colored eyes), one blue and one brown

also he has a real nice smile when it’s a genuine one

which is rare but like 

it happens 

is kinda insecure about his weight and tries to compensate with always having the newest stuff and pretending not to care

sometimes tries to diet in secret

he isn’t huge anymore, but is still sort of broad, and isn’t skinny, but like..

kinda bulky, if he wears the right type of clothes it’s hard to see if he’s chubby or buff

but he is def chubby 

Personality and General Trivia:

spends way to much time on reddit arguing with randoms

angry gamer, will call you a slur on voice chat 

after almost getting dropped by his friends in middle school he tries a little harder to be a more decent person

still an asshole at heart, but like, an asshole who sometimes cares about some people 

always tells people that’s he’s seen that meme before, even when he hasn’t 

nothing is ever his fault and the only ones who can get him to admit he’s wrong are Kenny and, very, very rarely, Kyle

he wears supreme hoodies for a full year of High School and stands in line all night for the new ones and never shuts up about how he is the first in South Park to have the new stuff 

Kenny finds it hilarious to buy the fake supreme stickers and put then on his own worn out hoodies

Kyle makes it his main goal in life to put things (everything from used gym socks to old food he finds in his locker) in Cartmans hoods and see how long it takes for him to notice 

can’t handle alcohol, is constantly being teased for it

sloppy drunk lol 

one of the main reasons the other bothers with Cartman trough middle school, when he is at his worst, is because of his big basement, the old Coon Lair, who got a big renovation around 7th grade and is an awesome, private hangout spot with a big TV and wifi and gaming systems

Friendships:

constantly says he hates his friends but would die if everyone left him 

is secretly terribly jealous of Kyle, both his closeness to Stan, his basketball skills, his grades and his family

but they had that thing in Freshman year when Kyle found him drunk, alone and sad, and Cartman himself barely remembers it, and doesn’t think Kyle does because he never mentioned it 

but he does

so much tension there, but also co-dependency 

sees Kenny and Butters as his best friends, and knows deep down neither of them feel that way about him and it secretly kills him 

is in the same board game group with Stan 

is low-key terrified of Tweek lol 

Family:

big mommy issues 

but also very protective of her

I really enjoy the AU/headcanon that Liane marries Clyde’s dad 

it’s not like, the only version I like, but I put it in as many au’s and works of mine as I can 

I def think both boys would be mortified right away 

but Clyde comes around first, because he really wants a brother, even if that brother have to be Cartman 

Cartman would never admit it, but after some time he really starts to see Clyde as a brother and genuinely cares for him 

Ships and relationships:

I mainly see Cartman as gay 

sometimes I start of AU’s and stories with him not being out to himself or anyone else tho, I think that whole journey for him will be very interesting and help him grow as a person 

I def think he’d have a few girlfriends before he comes out tho? 

he can be very charming when he wants too yanno 

my only Cartman ship is kyman atm, but I’m def open to explore more of

Leopold Butters Stotch 

Looks:

I really really really like T A L L Butters??? 

like tall and gangly and adorable 

I know it’s very popular to head canon that he bleaches his hair, but I like to think he has very light blond air naturally! 

keeps it short on the sides and longer on top, with cute ass curls 

soft sky blue eyes 

also dyes his bangs light blue in high school!! 

Pete the goth helps him because he is a pro of dying bangs 

I like to think he’d be into pastel grunge, and keep his love for Hello Kitty and Sanrio etc, but still be a bit more... edgy? 

Personality and General Trivia:

one of those people who’s friendly with almost everyone

but that doesn’t mean he’s friends with them, yanno? 

gets drunk from one wine cooler 

loves the theater and is in the drama club, but likes to be behind the stage, not on it 

wants to be a director one day 

watches Netflix on his phone every single time he has any time to spare, because he’s always binging a show

is usually pretty positive and kind, gives people the benefit of the doubt 

but can be very stubborn, and if he has decided he dislikes or doesn’t trust someone, it’s almost impossible to change his mind 

Friendships:

Butters put up with Cartman for so long because he genuinely thinks he can be fun when he’s not horrible, and he really tries his best to believe in people

he was also the first one to forgive him after the others cut him off 

a very loyal and fun friend

takes a lot of initiative to do stuff, and loves hosting movie nights 

thinks of these boys as his closest friends, but is also real close to Wendy, Bebe, Jimmy and Tweek

Family:

I just hate Stephen so much you guys

so tbh I usually like to just... have Linda leave him, or straight up kill him off oops 

I know Linda is terrible too, I do, but I think she could possibly have a moment of realization if something happens like Butters potentially being taken away? 

idk I’m not gonna go too deep into this, I know it’s such a heavy topic and I don’t wanna seem like I just ignore it, but I personally don’t usually include Stephen directly in my stories, and this is why, I hope y’all understand and respect that! 

Ships and relationships:

my main Butters ship is Stutters (Stan x Butters) 

I mentioned a lot why in Stan’s headcanons? 

but idk, I just really think they’d balance each other well, and could have a very interesting and cute relationship! 

I usually headcanons him as pan or gay, and genderqueer, but I’m open for other interpretations too! 

he does date a little bit, but have never been in a real relationship and isn’t stressing about it! 

he did have a pretty huge crush on (a very unaware) Kenny during middle school, but then they started hanging out a lot more and became really close and Butters didn’t really bring it much thought?

that’s until Cartman gets jealous and throws out a “what are you guys dating and fucking and being gay huh???” and Butters mind immediately goes to “omg ew no he’s like my brother!” 

aaand that’s how Butters realized he was over his crush 

they two of them stay close friends tho, Kenny makes Butters laugh and helps him be more sure of himself and Butters helps Kenny remember that they’re still just kids and should have fun and be good

[my-sterion]

Rescued

Featuring Princess!Kenny and Thief!Craig in somewhat of a Stick of Truth AU. But it’s not correlated to the game’s story. I just wanted to write whump.

Words: 1628

“Tell me!”

The familiar sound of sharp leather cutting through the air stings in Craig’s ears, moments before he even feels the whip connecting with his vulnerable skin and a deep groan escapes his lips.

“Tell me where that little whore is hiding out, tell me now!”

Craig is just lucid enough to recognize the impatience that creeps into the elven warriors voice. He knows they expected him to crack sooner, knows they probably hoped to pay him off to get the information they needed. And had it been anything else, Craig probably would have too- but he’d rather die than sell out the one person in this forsaken world he actually cared about.

“Never!” he stubbornly spits, teeth gritted through the burning pain. It takes all his strength not to imagine the mangled sight of his back, soft skin now surely covered with gashing wounds.

Another lash. The pain is getting so overwhelmingly intense that Craig feels close to passing out and his knees buckle, letting him fall forward, cheek colliding with the cold, damp floor. The guard steps closer, clawing his hands into Craig’s matted hair to pull him upright again.

He leans down so, stinking breath filling up the thief’s nostrils and hisses: “Listen Feldspar. Make this easy for both of us- because while it would be a terrible inconvenience to kill you, I will if you don’t cooperate.”

“Kill me, if you must.” Craig weakly mutters, eyes only half open. “I don’t care.”

At this point, he might actually prefer death over another day in this torture chamber of a cell. Obviously frustrated, his captor abruptly lets go, allowing Craig to sink back onto the plastered floor while he paces around the room, kicking against the door in anger.

“Fool! We are going to find the princess with or without your help. Your resistance is pointless!”

Even if Craig wanted to give another response, his strength is at its limit, drained to the point where he can hardly keep his head, let alone speak. But the silence only seems to rile the guard up even more. His hard leather boot flies into his stomach with such force, he feels the urge to throw up, but thanks to the fact that his stomach hasn’t seen any food in days, all he can manage is some painful dry heaving.

“Get some sleep while you still can.” the elf speaks coldly, staring down at Craig squirming. “Tomorrow won’t be a pleasant day for you.”

A moment later Craig can hear the door fall into its lock. Panting heavily, he finally manages to let some of the tension bleed out of his tensed up muscles and presses his forehead against the cool stone.

The prospect of dying in this filthy cell seems more and more likely with every second that passes. In a way, Craig has already made his peace with that. He hadn’t ever imagined dying a death this noble, but that’s what love did to even a selfish man like himself.

If there’s only one thing he might regret, it’s not getting the chance to look into Kenny’s shining blue eyes one last time.

“Craig!” right on cue, a voice that is painfully familiar whispers in a hushed tone.

As much as his heart aches, Craig doesn’t lift his eyes to look at what most likely is nothing but a pain induced hallucination. He has been tortured enough tonight, he doesn’t need to torture himself with the inevitable disappointment as well.

But then the same voice urges again, louder and more real this time: “Craig! Fucking wake up!”

His muscles are trembling from overexertion, but he props himself up just enough to raise his glare. Even through black spots and a few greasy hair strands in his eyes, the person standing in front of him is a picture crystal clear and the desperate whimper of relief falls from his lips.

Kenny is pressed close to the gate, hands tightly gripping the iron bars. Her long blonde hair that is usually carefully braided is now tucked away into a ponytail and her dress is replaced by something armor-like, but the expression coloring her face is just as fierce and determined as Craig remembers.

Worriedly, her eyes seem to roam over his body. “Holy fuck, you look like crap.”

An amused snort quickly turns into hacked up coughing while he sputters out: “It wasn’t the most comfortable stay.”

She ignores him and instead starts working on the door lock. While Kenny might not be as skilled as a lock picker as he is, her witch-like powers are widely known across the country and so it barely takes a minute until the door snaps open. It’s not the most elegant option, but it’s effective. As soon as it does, she hurries in, crouching down by his side in merely a second. Her hands gently clasp around his waist and she pulls him into her arms, careful not to worsen the already angry wounds.

Craig weakly looks up at her face. Her eyes are soft but the brows furrowed in deep concern. It’s so relieving and he all but melts into the comforting touch.

“I didn’t-“ he starts, only for his voice to break a mere moment later. Craig gathers himself, swallowing dryly while he tries to blink the blurriness away- everything under her gentle caress.

“I didn’t tell them anything.”

Why those are the words his hazed mind chooses to say, he’s not sure. It’s rather pointless too, because if he had said a word about Kenny’s whereabouts, she definitely wouldn’t be standing in front of him, but somehow he still needed her to know.

Needed her to know how much she meant to him- that she had his unending loyalty.

Kenny’s ocean eyes widen only slightly before her face shifts into an expression full of emotion, affection and love. With a gaze that might be a little more teary eyed than she’d normally let on, the princess moves her hand to cup Craig’s cheek and gently strokes the burning skin.

“I know.” she assures him, voice not entirely steady, “I know you didn’t, darling.”

There’s guilt and sadness in those words and in every corner of her face. Craig wants to chase it away, wants to reassure her of everything that wasn’t her fault, but his body won’t let him.

Her touch is like cool rain on scorching flesh. Craig stares up into the soft features of her face, sees the tears pool at the corners of her eyes and barely manages to nod tiredly, warmth flooding through his limbs. Silently he makes an oath to himself, that if they make it out of here, to tell her every disgustingly sappy thought that has crossed his mind for the last few days.

The distant noise of keys jingling tears both of them away from the blissful moment of intimacy and a cold wave of dread washes over Craig. Frantically he pushes away his lovers hands, trying to get out of her hold with what little power he has left.

“No, no. Get out, or they’ll take you too.” he whispers, failing to keep the panic out of the words.

Kenny carefully retracts her hands from his hips, the look on her face suddenly cold and determined as she stares down the dungeons corridor.

“Like hell I will. I’m going to make them pay for ever laying a god damned hand on you!”

Craig’s feral instincts of survival as well as wanting to protect Kenny don’t allow him to appreciate her fierce attempts of defending his honor for more than a split second. Before she can even get up, he grabs her wrist as tightly as he can and squeezes, hard enough so that she is forced to turn her head back to him.

Their eyes meet- Craig silently shakes his head and the crashing storm of rage in her bright blue eyes seems to quiet down.

Sighing, the tension that has built up between her shoulder blades, dissipates.

“Alright, fine.” she relents, casting a last careful outside the cell. “I’ll let them live, for now. Let’s just get you out of here.”

Craig is still seated on the floor, but even staying upright is becoming harder and harder every second. The adrenaline of seeing Kenny here is slowly wearing off so that the pain sets back in and the edges of his eyesight become blurry again.

Blinking once, twice, he breathes deeply. “Do you have a plan?”

Despite the threatening situation, the blonde princess shoots him a smitten look over her shoulder. “Don’t I always, darling?”

He’s too exhausted- and in all honesty, scared, to even go in on her playful banter but at least manages a weak smile at the admittedly truthful words. In the years they’ve known each other he had learned to never underestimate her capability.

So, as he trusts his life into her hands, Craig carefully crawls to back up against the cool wall, palms scraping on rough stone, and breathes deeply. Only for a moment the thief allows himself to close his eyes and relax- until her sweet scent intensifies once more.

Tiredly blinking, Craig stares at her expectantly. Kenny just smiles and leans down to gently help him get up on his aching feet. Instantaneously, her arm wraps tightly around his waist, keeping him from toppling over with doting determination.

“Ready to get out of here, Feldspar?” she asks, voice low and yet loud enough to make his whole body tremble lightly.

Now that he’s standing up, his sight is worsening again. With a sigh Craig leans into her support just a little bit more and brings himself to a shaky, but content nod

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

[dreamofragtime]

S5e06 “First dance” (aka *me: sighing disconsolately* Lucien this time you really made a mess of things)

The scenes of Lucien and Jean’s domestic life are always my favourite. She’s knitting (one day I’d like to see one of her creations because she knits all the time, but we don’t get to see the final result of all her work, unless they are all the cardigans she makes for Lucien for which I’m so very grateful that I’d like to start a campaign “more cardigans for Lucien!” Thank you very much) Matthew is reading and the good doctor is trying so very hard to concentrate on playing the piano, but it doesn’t take much to see he’s totally annoyed at being stuck in his home convalescing. As soon as the perfect occasion presents itself he jumps on his feet and is ready to spring back into action, only to be stopped by his fiancée and his friend. He wants to help....he must help! Alice, being such a wonderful friend and knowing Lucien repulsion at feeling useless gladly accepts his help. But the phone call and Alice delivering the autopsy report herself into his hands (“Lucien go back to bed!”...but then some time later she says she’s not his mother 🤣) is not enough. Alice is so proud for having followed his instructions and for having used the dark room at the Courier to develop the pictures...she just lights up like a Christmas tree when she tells Jean, who answers absentmindedly because she’s drawn to the pictures on her table...visibly distressed. She doesn’t even hesitate, though, when Lucien suggests he could be more helpful from the morgue...she wants to go with him, she can’t leave him out of sight.

Finally she can see how he works in there with Alice ( I loved that she could see what he does, how he respects his job and the deceased and how he keeps searching until he finds the truth) but when tortures and abuse are mentioned, it becomes too much for Jean and she has to leave the room. When they come home it doesn’t get any better, she tries to distract herself with Lucien’s breakfast, but she can’t fool him. He knows how overwhelmed she is and he so gently lets her say it, out loud, what it is that is bothering her and then once again she helps with the case and the burns on the victim’s body. Together they discover that the burns were self inflicted ( careful there Lucien, we need those thighs in one piece for the honeymoon 😉)

The day after we are faced with Lucien’s first not very bright idea to go and investigate with Rose. She even tells him, but he doesn’t listen and at the end of the day he ends up with ruptured stitches and tries to sneak back inside the house...as if Jean didn’t know him! For being such a smart man, sometimes he’s totally clueless...or probably not really clueless just impulsive. I mean...he’s just promised to be more careful and now he goes and comes home bleeding again. She’s right, she’s not his mother, he can do whatever needs to be done....she just wants to know the truth. It’s no more Lucien or Jean, it’s “them” now (I’m going to be your wife....she underlines it) but again he promises not to lie to her and then after he has solved the case, he can’t keep his promise, in good faith, I’m sure he really wants to do the right thing and spare her the heartache but he keeps the truth from her nonetheless.

This case involving a young girl who could have easily been a younger version of Li, really touches Lucien and when he talks with the girl’s father well...I think Lucien would have gladly walked through fire to have the chance to see his daughter grow and experience all the usual teenage daughter-father issues

Seeing Jean revealing once again a bit of her past and Lucien telling Robert of his struggle when he thought he lost his family, how he had tried to kill himself well...Craig was superb there!

All the pain he had to endure for years, but now he has found something to live for and he wants to be a better man, he wants to make things better as he says in the kitchen to his Jean. The heartfelt, overwhelming line Nadine delivers “you do make things better, Lucien” well... I have no words for it! Just perfect!

But it’s too late, he’s already sent his affidavit and he hasn’t got the courage to tell her and the kiss that ensues is proof enough. For what I can see, usually Lucien is the one who embraces and touches her more. When they kiss usually Jean’s hands and arms are around his neck (even during the cocoa kiss her arms are on his neck, though she manages to find the skin that’s not covered with his shirt, but still they are there) while Lucien’s hands wander on her back, her arms, her face. Well...in this kiss he doesn’t even touch her and when they part she’s the first to smile, he smiles back but a couple of seconds later, she’s already smiling at him and he doesn’t wear that smug, love struck expression he always has when he looks at her. He’s trying to distance himself from her because he can’t bear to know he has failed her again by not keeping his word. This is not going to be easy, right?

[kindred-is-obsessed]

Reasons you should be watching Craig of the Creek

Not enough people are watching this wonderful show, so I thought I’d do my best to introduce people to it. It’s made by former Steven Universe crew Ben Levin and Matt Burnett, so if you’re missing Steven Universe while it’s on hiatus this is a great way to keep away the hiatus blues, or if you just enjoy in cartoons. It’s great for a whole list of reasons, which broadly fall into the two categories of great representation and great storytelling:

Canonical queer representation

-       The witches premiere in the episode The Curse. If you aren’t sure if you want to watch this whole show definitely watch this one at least! It’s my absolute favourite not least of all because it’s about teen goth girls in love. It has a sequel The Last Kid in The Creek which is also wonderful, and the witches cameo throughout the series. I don’t want to spoil too much but The Curse is essentially about the two not wanting to be separated and struggling to admit their feelings for each other. (Spoilers: they do and walk off alone, blushing, staring at each other lovingly, while the kids aww at them)

-       Bernard and his girlfriend watch a cooking show hosted by a gay couple.

-       Other cameos, hints and coded queer kids such as JP’s sister (who has fancy dinner reservations with Kat, a woman with a shaved head who compliments Kelsey’s fake sword). There’s also Raj and Shaun (two very close friends), as well as several very boyish tomboys, including Handlebarb and Turner.

-       All public bathrooms I’ve spotted in the show have gender neutral signs on them which is nice.

POC representation

-       Craig, the main character, is black and has a loving family explored in depth, including an activist grandmother working for the council, a wise and fun grandfather, a supportive fun dad who loves his amazing wife, an adorable assertive little sister, and an angsty overachieving older brother who just wants to be a good grownup who loves his family and girlfriend.  

-       There are MANY characters of colour. There are black and brown characters, Raj is Indian, Stacks is Hispanic (and it’s implied she is an immigrant), there are several Asian characters, Kelsey is Hungarian and Jewish, a persistent background character wears a hijab (I’m pretty sure she was named at some point but I can’t find her name anywhere. She definitely has lines at one point). I’m sure there are others I have missed. No one is a stereotype as far as I am aware.

Subtle neurodivergent representation

-       JP is possibly on the autism spectrum. I’d love neurodivergent people’s opinions on this, but while the representation isn’t canonical or obvious I think it’s good that while JP is represented as having different thought processes from his friends, he isn’t made fun of for it, at least not by them. It’s noteworthy I think that he’s the eldest of the core trio, probably because he finds it easier to relate to younger people who still share his imagination and care less about his unique way of thinking. His neurodivergence is explored most explicitly in the episode Jextra Perrestrial, so if you’re interested in this kind of representation definitely check that episode out.

Non-nuclear family representation

-       While the main character is a member of the typical nuclear family you see on TV (except black, and actually interesting) most of the other families we see are not.

-       JP is raised by his mother and older sister. His father is never mentioned and their house is definitely in worse condition than the others we see. His family works hard to take care of each other. His sister is a nurse and both her and her mother are away a lot of the time, but they both love JP very much. JP’s sister also happens to be really openly body positive. I love them a lot.

-       Kelsey’s father is an only parent. There’s still a lot of mystery surrounding how Kelsey’s mother passed away. It’s a very subtle but important part of Kelsey’s character and comes through in really bittersweet adorable ways (not limited to Kelsey using her “half-orphan”ness to guilt trip a man into giving her money)

-       Other kinds of families are scattered throughout the show, including families that move around a lot, a home-school kid with a strict mother, and more.

Unique approach to fantasy and sci-fi

-       You know how most kids show will take a kid’s fantasy and bring it to reality? Well Craig of the Creek keeps the fantastical and nostalgic element of that line of thinking but never confirms or denies whether the kids fantasies are real or in their heads. And not in a Scooby Doo way where the fantastical elements are explained away, but are hinted as a possibility right at the very end. Instead, two perspectives (the fantastical perspective and the realistic perspective) are woven into every episode.

-       This means there are two ways to interpret every episode. You can view the witches as real witches, or as goth teenagers. You can view Helen as a kid from another dimension, or a home-school kid who is never at the creek at the same time as the other kids. You can view Deltron as a cyborg from the future, or as an imaginative kid from a big city.

-       This is super unique and fun to watch. They come up with so many new ideas and its always fun to figure out what’s actually happening, while still getting to relive childhood fantastical nostalgia.

-       Almost all of these episodes use this to talk about an issue, but these issues can get quite complex and are definitely not shoved down your throat.

Overarching mystery plot about a colonialist kingdom / cult

-       Love the slow burn storytelling of Steven Universe’s Diamond Authority? Love putting together the mysteries of Gravity Falls? Then you’ll love this plot about colonialism, classism, bullying, peer pressure and more and its mysterious build up including cryptic graffiti art and flower symbolism.

-       Even before this arc properly begins, Craig of The Creek primarily centers around the microcosm of the Creek. Many of the episodes have a lot of commentary on society, politics and how different factions of people form and interact.

-       The show is over 50 episodes in and this arc is only just starting to kick off so now is the time to catch up and watch.

-       Fun complex villain(s)

Complex relatable characters

-       Want commentary and nostalgia about horse girls, children’s tea parties, weird kids, angsty teens, young weebs, dweebs and more!? Every childhood obsession is represented in this show.

-       Adults! All the parents and older teens in this show are just as rich and complex as the kids. They are all so interesting and fun.  

-       Want characters with arcs, aims, fun relationships and complexity!? Look no further! Redemption arcs! Revelations! Found family! It’s all here!

Great art and soundtrack

-       Cute background and character designs that make you nostalgic as hell and are also beautiful and well thought out.

-       Sometimes the art design is changed up for a particular episode to portray a certain fantastical / sci fi element. It’s very fun and engaging. 

-       An opening song that’s fun to sing along to, bittersweet ending song that makes me want to cry, a couple of musical episodes including a super fun rap musical episode, and a great OST

Queer headcanons

-       There are tons of ways to interpret the show but here’s some of my head canons just to get an idea.

-       (Note that despite my headcanons I use the pronouns for the kids that they use in the show cause I’m not certain about any of it and they’re kids who haven’t come out yet and also for clarity and consistency’s sake – I’m not saying trans people are not their genders. Don’t worry I’m nonbinary)

-       I headcanon that all the main trio grow up to realise they are queer. They strike me as that weird group of friends that doesn’t fit in with the other kids and aren’t quite sure how they all came to be friends, only to later realise they all showed early signs of breaking gender roles and that’s why they stuck together.

-       Craig definitely grows up to realise he’s gay, bisexual or queer. His admiration for characters like Deltron and Green Poncho are definitely crushes that he mistakes for a strong sudden and eager desire for friendship.

-       Kelsey probably grows up to realise she is nonbinary, a trans boy or a WLW. I mostly headcanon this because I relate to her a lot and I’m nonbinary and queer so I said so. She reminds me a lot of myself as a kid. She throws herself into books, mostly fantasy for escapism. She fantasises and writes a lot for the same reasons. She dresses like a tomboy (She always wears her hair up in the same bun which strongly reminds me of my own childhood hair dysphoria) and she hangs out solely with male friends.

-       JP gives me strong trans lesbian vibes, or to a lesser extent nonbinary vibes. (I know his sister is WLW coded but take it from me there can be more than one queer in a family). He is interested in girls, specifically Maney the horse girl (he even joined the horse girls for one episode). He wears a long V-neck shirt that is essentially a dress ALL the time. He’s aware that he’s different and while self conscious sometimes, mostly just wants to express himself the way he wants to. He also chooses to go by initials JP over his very gendered name Johnathan Paul (In a recent episode he names a ship after himself, calling it “The SS Johnathon Paulina”).

-       (Sidenote if you do start watching this show and I see any nasty shipping of these characters in non puppy-love fashion so help me god)

 Other reasons

-       The show is at times very intertextual and references Princess Mononoke, Super Smash Brothers, Sailor Moon, Lord of the Rings, and a billion other things. It also has some fun cameos, including background images of the Tres Horny Boys from The Adventure Zone, a TARDIS from Doctor Who, and a Cookie Cat from Steven Universe.

-       Honestly, this post hasn’t done the best job explaining why I love this show so much. You honestly just have to watch an episode to understand fully what I’m talking about, so give it a go! Watch The Curse at least, it only goes for 10 minutes.

[nightingaelic]

POODLES IN THE WASTELAND

i jest I jest

But 👀

What about pets? Either ones companions would have or a very uncommon one that someone wouldn’t think was a good pet, BUT IS. Deathclaws you can ride like a pony, mole rats that want belly rubs, cazadore’s as cattier pigeons! What are your thoughts?

Or like, Danse or Piper or Fawkes with something hilarious Idek ignore me

Oooookay, here’s my comprehensive list of companions - ALL companions, across Fallouts 3, 4, New Vegas and 76 - and their (headcanon) choices in wasteland pets. I’ll give a little explanation for each - particularly as many of these companions are transients and don’t have the luxury of owning a home to keep pets at. Also, I feel like most of the companions, while they might not necessarily like pets, would be somewhat fond or at least respectful of the pets of the Lone Wanderer/Courier/Sole Survivor/Vault Dweller, like Dogmeat and Rex. 

Bighorners

Lily Bowen: Everyone’s favorite super mutant grandma is already an experienced shepherdess in Jacobstown, and she’s more than willing to tear some night stalkers apart to keep her herd safe. If that’s not love beyond the norm for wasteland livestock, I don’t know what is. She’s probably given all of her bighorners names after the characters in the television reruns she used to watch on holotape in Vault 17, like Grace and Audrey and Lucille. 

Brahmin

Raul Tejada: Actually spent a decent part of his pre-war life living on a ranch, so he knows that most brahmin don’t deserve being labeled “irritable” just because people don’t know how to read their body language. I think he’d follow wild brahmin herds around a bit on a whim and keep them from coming to any harm, especially the little ones. He gives them names like the cattle he grew up with, Corazon and Gordo and Blanca. 

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Doesn’t truck with the wild herds, but she knows that part of the success of a caravan lies with how well they treat their pack animals. All of her caravan’s brahmin have names - Penny, Magic and Sprinkles - and she’s careful to pair them up with drivers who are patient and work well with their various personalities. 

Cats

Butch DeLoria: While Butch ultimately decided to leave Vault 101 behind, I don’t think he would ever truly lose his fear of radroaches after what they did to his mom. Having a little friend to warm his bunk in Rivet City and pounce on intruders would probably set his mind at ease, maybe a black tomcat with one ear named Pepper. He might even gift his mom a kitten when he next comes to visit. 

Star Paladin Cross: I don’t think Cross much sees the use of an animal that doesn’t contribute to the community it lives in, like most of the Brotherhood of Steel. Cats, however, are excellent at pest control, even if the rats are bigger nowadays. I think she’d give the resident cats at the Citadel some pets in passing, and she’d smile when she has to extract playful kittens from inside her power armor frame. She’s especially fond of the cat colony’s matriarch, a scarred old tabby named Gemma. 

Curie: Upon her transition into a synth body, Curie is overjoyed with most animals and their new willingness to approach her for attention. She especially loves cats because she can pick them up and better feel their fur and purring. Her favorite cat is an orange stray in Diamond City that she calls Claude. 

Piper Wright: A companion for Nat when she’s out adventuring, an unbiased friend to bounce the latest opinion piece off of before going to print, and a lap-warmer for when you’re typing up the latest article about the exploits of the Minutemen - what’s not to like? The Wright family cat is a slippery, elegant calico named Sugar Bomb. 

Preston Garvey: While the Minutemen forts and settlements definitely lean more toward keeping dogs around for security purposes, I think Preston likes his pets quieter and less likely to bowl you over in excitement. The one most likely to sleep with him in his bunk at Sanctuary is a grumpy gray gentleman named Anchovy. 

Deathclaws

Veronica Santangelo: If anyone is crazy enough to swipe a deathclaw egg from a nest and try to hatch, rear and train a personal killing machine named Izzy, it’s Veronica. This will probably just alienate her from her Brotherhood chapter even more, but I’m sure she would take special care to make sure that her usual Mojave Wasteland haunts take a peek through a scope to see if the approaching deathclaw has a human on its back before taking a shot. 

Dogs

Clover: I don’t think Clover gets out beyond Paradise Falls much, so the only animals she’s used to are the dogs the raiders bring around when passing through. She probably has favorites among the usual visitors and enjoys tossing them bits of meat when she’s allowed to get away from Eulogy and Crimson. If liberated, she’d probably get at least three of her own dogs to watch over her while she sleeps: One small dog to carry with her, a Pekingese or Pomeranian descendant named Coco, and two large dogs to follow through on intimidation and protection, a mastiff named Rock and a Doberman descendant named Roll. 

Jericho: Jericho doesn’t deserve a dog but he’d probably have one around anyway to sniff out caps caches and hidden loot after he’s shot everyone in the vicinity. Some slinky beagle mix named Dewey, probably. 

Fawkes: I don’t think Fawkes would be picky at all about what kind of dog he’d have. He strikes me as the type who would adopt any half-friendly mutt he ran across. I do think he would have a bit of a soft spot for friendlier mutant hounds, though, and maybe view their mutated circumstances as similar to his own. He’d also be absolutely amazing at playing fetch. Just imagine how far he could lob a stick or ball. All of his dogs would have literary names too, like Byron and Agatha and Edgar. 

Craig Boone: Though he’s a bit of a prodigy at sniping, Boone knows his limitations when it comes to spotting hidden enemies on the horizon. I can see him having a hound dog at his side to find the more elusive ones and help him get rid of them faster. Maybe a bloodhound mutt named Bravo. 

Cait: Doesn’t like people, but she adores dogs. Having had the life where she’s been abused, exploited and forced into slavery, she’s keenly aware that those like the ones who took advantage of her treat dogs much the same. She’s very protective of any dog she encounters and is very likely to punch you in the face if you so much as look at one wrong. She’d probably name any pup she adopted Lucky. 

Hancock: Honestly, he’s just a fan of any animal that is happy to hang out with you whether you’re drunk, high, fighting raiders or patrolling downtown Boston. The Goodneighbor strays know him as the guy who always has mirelurk jerky in his pockets. His favorite is a rough-and-tumble, black-and-white spotted cattle dog descendant that he cheekily calls King George. 

Robert MacCready: He’s not quick to trust dogs, but once he’s sure they’re not a threat, they’re one of the few critters around which he’ll relax completely. He’s still a little wary of them around Duncan, but any dog that’s a part of his family is more or less his son’s permanent babysitter. 

Nick Valentine: Dogmeat is also basically his dog. The two have a history of working cases together, with Dogmeat just turning up whenever a trail goes cold and leading Nick to the evidence he needs to reopen his investigation. Nick doesn’t know how or why Dogmeat does it, but he’s not about to ruin a good thing. 

Strong: I don’t think he would turn down a ferocious mutant hound as a friend. He’d probably feed it mole rats and call it something like Killer. 

Foxes

Beckett: This former raider has a love-hate relationship with a fox that keeps going through his trash. He affectionately calls him Lil’ Bastard. 

Sofia Daguerre: Having crashed back to an earth she doesn’t recognize, I think Sofia would be tickled that the foxes of Appalachia have basically stayed the same despite the bombs. I can see her leaving dinner scraps out on her porch for one that she sometimes spots in the foliage, and slowly coaxing the critter to come into the light. She names her Scarlett once she finally convinces her to eat out of her hand. 

Mega sloths

Settler forager: I would not be at all surprised if this man ran into a mega sloth in the Mire and decided to try befriending it. The creature, probably surprised at this old guy’s nerve, decided to accept the handful of leaves he offered and grew slowly more fond of the guy’s persistence. It doesn’t know its name is Fergus but it does know that if a human is wearing overalls, it’s probably not a threat. 

Mole rats

Deacon: Alright, hear me out. Deacon has a fondness for underdogs, and mole rats are about as underdog as they come. I think Deacon thinks these little guys are cute despite their wrinkles and buck teeth, and I think he sees the value in having a tunneling pet that likes to collect shiny things. One of his deep cover hideouts is in an old tunnel system in the northern Commonwealth, where he hangs out with a young mole rat named Henry. 

Owls

Raider punk: This radio operator got wind of an abandoned nest of owlets in Appalachia early on in his career and, being the nearest to the report, decided to rescue the little guys. Now he has three owls that occasionally drop in at his camp to hoot and accept handouts: Nona, Decima and Morta. While he’s still fond of them, he’s usually disappointed that they aren’t the Mothman coming to visit. 

Rad chickens

Yasmin Chowdhury: Ever the opportunistic cook, she picked up the practice of raising chickens from the settlers at Foundation and has four hens of her own: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme. The “ladies,” as she refers to them, give her a constant stream of eggs for omelets. 

Ravens

Settler wanderer: This gal has an affinity with birds, who are always on the move like her. She admires their ability to be untethered and let the wind take them far and wide. Nevertheless, she likes to scatter corn when they come close to her on the road, and formed a sort of friendship with a particularly handsome specimen that she calls Tornado. 

Wolves

Old Longfellow: This guy is the epitome of the meme about dads not wanting pets and then instantly falling in love with whatever animal enters their life. He probably found an injured wolf pup in his travels around the island and took pity on it, nursing it back to health in his cabin. It’s still got a bit of a twisted paw, but follows him around and listens like any other dog and answers to the name Lamoine. 

Yao guai

Porter Gage: I bet this guy adopted an orphaned bear cub and raised it by hand. Now it’s so big that even if Gage thinks he’s an easy target for other raiders due to his age, he’s much less likely to get singled out than he thinks because he has a yao guai following him around like a puppy. The bear’s name is Fuzzy Wuzzy. It has no hair. 

No pets, thanks

Charon: Too likely to accidentally wind up in the line of fire. 

Sergeant RL-3: Too easily corrupted by Communist influences. 

Arcade Gannon: Too much time spent getting in your way. 

Codsworth: Too likely to make messes. 

Paladin Danse: Too many wasted resources. 

X6-88: Too much of a liability. 

Ada: Too easy to lose when on the move. 

Solomon Hardy: Too unsanitary.