#Cos I never knew I could curse at a first character lol

[sindyswonderland]

Understanding Kant

Kant never let himself fully fall for bison or kindled his initial attraction. He didn't think twice about it at first. He even found bison's little quirks annoying and went overboard with the love bombing so his act doesn't show. His Misson was to protect babe in this dangerous game he was made to play.

Kant first started to see bison as a human the night at his home where he got to see a boy with dreams and not just a beautiful killer. When bison didn't think twice to protect babe when he initial only came to. question Kant's loyalty is where Kant's wall started crumbling. Bison was loyal. Kant tried so hard to act like he didn't fall for bison already , style had to throw Kant's feelings in his face for him to even barely acknowledge it.

Style on the other hand thought he was playing a bet to win a cool car at first, it slowly became a chase when fadel would not fold for his handsome looks or straight up stalking. He's just annoyingly funny and so effortlessly good at wearing one down that even fadel folded

Just as fadel showed his true self and started to drop the guard around him style had no choice but to fall in love with a killer. Fadel being a killer didn't matter to him, he likes the thrill and the way fadel makes him feel when they are together

If Kant's style of approching bison was deception, style's was stalking. Neither of the two are romantic. The only difference is kant came off sleezy and style came off as funny.

they are two different ppl playing in two different fields. If style has only his heart broken kant has a brother to lose and be heartbroken, no wonder he chose to protect his heart too.

The saddest part of it all is bison is the only one among them who wanted love and a life to live without lies and he's being fed lie after lie everyday. He's too smart for this all but also too much in his pink haze to see the truth.

First is doing an incredible job at making us root against kant, at the same time if you look closer he is also delivering Kant's repressed guild and love so well.

I'm so glad we are at the stage where fadel and bison know the truth well into EP6 so we won't be rushing a ep 11 break up

[vespaer77]

I'd like to tell you a story...

... about my first Tav, Shayla Moonsong.

She is a Zariel tiefling, and a College of Lore Bard, and while she wasn't my first Tav, she was the first one to finish the game. I had romanced Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Astarion in early access, so I focused on her because I was anxious to try a new romance, Halsin. However, because she was created just after full release, her save file was horrifically bugged. I got the cut scenes for Halsin that allowed me to progress his companion quest and cure Moonhaven of the shadow curse, but after that I could get no further dialogue from him at all, even in camp. I was playing with a party limit mod by the time he joined my party, so I never needed to worry about dismissing him from my party, but I did occasionally have difficulty with him following the party. I had to run around controlling him a lot. The only scene I ever got with him once he joined me was specifically his sex scene, after I did the love test at the circus in Act 3. I knew literally nothing about him, lol, so I had to google the answers.

But that was the thing. I knew… nothing about this guy. He was just some hot elf my bard boned, I had zero investment in him other than that. And it became a head canon for me about her - she was a typical bard, slutting her way to the Gate. She slept with the Emperor, she had a foursome with the drow twins and Halsin, and she absolutely played Haarlep's game to get his pass code. And while I'd wished, at the time, I could have had the additional enrichment of a poignant, heartfelt romance, I did enjoy exploring a character that was more free with her sexuality. As a result, though, I'd ended up "saving myself" for Halsin, because I knew his romance would (or in my case should but didn't) open up very late in the game. And I'd shot down all of the other companions fairly quickly.

Including Gale.

Especially Gale.

He was still bugged at the time, and his… overly amorous nature, lol, was widely known to anyone who'd spent more than ten minutes on the internet. So I ignored a lot of opportunities to know him better. And at the time, he was honestly my least favorite character. Particularly because I truly didn't enjoy him in early access. I genuinely found him offputting and way too over the top, and subsequently much of his narrative flew straight over my head.

Like a Boeing 777.

But let's be honest. Because of the nature of his story, and the way he seems to compartmentalize his trauma as devotion, and because of the mask of charm and confidence he wears to convince your character of his usefulness, and the way he tempers his emotions so he doesn't upset the orb, all of these things… the complexity of his narrative is super duper subtle. Or at least to me it was. I was the complete dumb dumb that didn't pick it up from context like we were supposed to.

Until I played my bard, Shayla. The first one to get through Act 3.

I had saved the culmination of Gale's quest in Sorcerous Sundries til nearly the end. Just before all the stuff with the foundry and Gortash. At the time, he was still a checklist item, a box to mark off on my road to the final boss.

So I went into it feeling like this man was probably pretty fed up with me, lol. And then he read the Annals of Karsus and I realized right then just how much I'd taken this character for granted. Because everything about him, his entire personality, shifted right there, and he became… someone else. And everyone else in my party noticed it too. The choice of responses I was given was crafted in a way that made me feel like the writers very much wanted me to notice a change had taken place within Gale. And then I picked a response that was honestly a touch unkind. I don't remember what I said to him, but…

He yelled at me.

"She left me to die!" he said. I remember that part.

And when the camera panned back to me and the party, we were all wide eyed and reared away from him in shock and disbelief that this charming, confident, gregarious, and benign creature was suddenly so… dark. And it was at that moment that a light switch was flipped. The missing puzzle piece was found and snapped into place. Suddenly I understood everything I'd missed up to that point, and it was more than just an "ah hah!" moment. It was an, "Oh my god…" moment. He hadn't become someone else.

We were seeing who he truly was for the first time.

His mask had slipped. Cracked beneath strain. He'd been pushed to a breaking point.

Naturally, because he's Gale, he recovered quickly. But it was too late. I saw him. And then two things happened. I fell in love with him. Instantly. But then I also realized the game was almost over. His romance opportunity had come and gone, there wouldn't be a "confess your love at the last minute" option. And of course his fate at the end of the game was not so kind to my bard either.

I've had big feelings about it ever since.

And then the Hugs mod came out, which only served to further poke my great big ouchy feelings.

I've lived in head canon land for a while now when it comes to Shayla Moonsong. In my head canon, he did end up taking her advice, he did pick an outcome that didn't involve using the Crown of Karsus or the Karsite Orb, and in no way did he become a pulverized cloud of stardust. He ended the game living peacefully in Waterdeep, giving Tara belly rubs and ushering in the next generation of wizards without grooming them for a lifetime of suffering.

But that leaves Shayla herself and her big, unresolved feelings. Feelings that were never processed or acknowledged, as the time was never right between her relationship status with Halsin and the fate of the world resting on her shoulders.

So, what is a bard to do when she falls in love, but it's too late?

Nothing small, that's for sure. And it will probably involve singing.

(I'm planning on maybe two to three chapters for this story, in which she very much makes things worse before they get better, lol. She's still learning. But it's definitely gonna end with some light cunnilingus and good, heavy railing either on a kitchen counter or against a bookshelf. I haven't decided yet. I do hope, if you do decide to read this humble beginning, that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And also please excuse my ill attempts at self-effacing meta humor.)

Pairing: Gale / named fem!Tav bard Rating: Smut is imminent (once we get through the foreplay… er, mutual pining) Word count: 4790

Read the story HERE or under the cut

Chapter One: The Wizard, The Real One

"Is there a loan shark in the audience or something?" Jory asked.

"Hmm?" Nelsyn replied, but she didn't look up from her lines. He supposed that was fair. She was busy letting Sara fix the adhesive on the curly teal wig that sat between her horns, and Jory knew as well as anyone on cast that nothing good came from troubling the crew. He let his heavy bear pelt slip from his shoulders as he sat down in the empty chair next to her.

"She's been there all night," he told his friend as he nodded toward the entryway to stage right. "Boss lady. We've been touring this show for months. We could all do it in our sleep, she knows that. Never seen her hover like this."

And there was no reason for it. "The Fall of the Absolute" was a roaring success. The production was Shayla Moonsong's crowning achievement, a media darling, and the current obsession of a whole continent. She'd catalogued volumes of stellar, five-star reviews thus far, and was selling out box offices everywhere she went. The show was the hottest new thing since "Volo's Guide to Sex in the Elemental Planes."

But it wasn't her biggest accomplishment. It wasn't what she was truly known for.

She was the Hero of Baldur's Gate.

She faced the illithid Netherbrain herself, and won.

And the tale they were telling in front of all those people was her story.

Heavens knew the winsome bard had faced far greater perils than watching a chapter of her life play out on a stage.

And yet there she stood, on this most unremarkable of nights, leaning just inside the door frame where she could observe without obstructing. Where she could scan the audience like a scrying eye, searching for… something. Normally she'd be flitting about like a cloud of gnats directing the cast and crew, answering questions, giving orders, helping the caterer, filling water jugs, finding toilet paper, running errands, meeting VIPs. Trying not to go crazy. But not tonight. Tonight she stood very still, chewing her thumbnail and unconsciously flicking the tip of her tail over and over, hard to the left.

And Jory remembered what Nelsyn had said about what it meant when tieflings flicked their tail to the left.

She was clearly nervous about something.

"Well, we're about to do the big emotional number," Nelsyn finally told him, closing the cover of her script while Sara gave her wig a good yank to test the glue. "It's the one all the teenage girls are sobbing over their sketch pads for right now."

She stopped to take a sip of water when Sara bent to pick up her cosmetics case. The girl made a gesture to Jory to give up his seat, and he tripped over his own feet unfolding himself to stand up. Once again he was reminded why he was cast as the big druid, Halsin. Shayla had told him once that while he wasn't quite as tall as the real thing… he was close. He wondered how easily the boss lady's former lover would have fit into that chair.

"This is our first time in Waterdeep," Nelsyn continued, trying her best not to move her lips while Sara applied a fresh coat of pink stain. "She probably just wants to see how it gets received. She doesn't really get to just sit out there and watch, you know?"

"Yeah."

"Could be it," Sara told them both, bunching her eyebrows and concentrating on keeping her hand steady. "Part of it, anyway. That is her favorite character out there, singing his heart out about the bomb in his chest."

"Her favorite character? The wizard?"

"Someone else got a bomb?"

"Please. Everyone knows I'm her favorite character."

"Listen," she replied as she wiped the applicator clean with a kerchief, "you're a good looking kid, and no one hates watching you take your clothes off out there." Nelsyn snorted, but they both ignored her. "A healthy percentage of ticket sales is probably yours, no one's arguing that. But that's not enough for you to game the win."

"Game the w- what?" Jory laughed, his oiled obliques glistening as he pulled the bear pelt back over his shoulders. "Look, I'm not trying to make it a competition or anything, okay? You brought it up. But I literally play an archdruid who carves ducks, sings to squirrels, and adopts orphans. Plus? He looks like this." He swept his hands grandly over his abdomen, flexing muscles most people had only seen in paintings or medical textbooks. "And did I mention he's also her boyfriend?"

"Her ex-boyfriend," Sara corrected him, pointing at Nelsyn as she spoke. "Have you even listened to the song she's getting ready to sing? You know. The one about love? And sacrifice?" She shifted her weight as an intern sidled past her to tidy the table, refill their drinks, and bag up the trash. "And don't tell me you haven't looked at Erik with both of your eyeballs. We've all seen him. The man has eyelashes as long as your forearm. And the biggest, saddest, wettest brown eyes on the face of this planet. He's like a baby cow, okay? I'm just saying." She stood to let the intern past her again, and bent to drag her cosmetics case out of the way. "This is the man she cast to play the lead in the big romantic climax of the whole show. When the main character realizes she's in love and it's too late. She's managed to capture," she pinched her fingers in front of her face, "the very essence of what it means to have sad children mooning over this show for years to come, okay? The baby cow is a cash cow. And he is clearly her favorite character."

"I think the vampire is her favorite character," the intern said, unprompted, as she reached to help Nelsyn out of her seat. "He's everyone's favorite character."

"You're all wrong," Nelsyn told them as she sloughed her way out of her robe with great theatrical flair. The intern caught it before it hit the floor, just as she'd done so many times before. Nelsyn stood with her hands on her hips and a gallant curve to her tail, casting her eyes toward the rafters and beaming a heavily pink-stained smile, resplendent in her artificially distressed leather armor blotted with thick fake blood.

"I'm her favorite character," she said, glowing with certainty. "And it should be obvious. I'm her! Now, stand back and watch while I go make a bunch of little girls cry!" And with that, she grinned devilishly and pranced toward the stage.

But once she was gone, the intern leaned forward and beckoned. Jory found himself instinctually drawn to listen.

"Well, you wanna know what I heard?" she whispered, and her eyes landed on Shayla for only just a moment. Jory nodded out of reflex. "I heard a rumor that someone in the orchestra pit overheard the boss lady telling someone in the box office that there was going to be a special guest tonight."

"What. Like, family?" Jory asked. "I thought she was an orphan."

"Could be anyone," Sara answered him from where she stood, combing through a wig hanging on the wall. "Philanthropist, politician. Who knows.

"Or," the intern hissed, leaning in even closer, "it could be one of them."

"One of who?"

"You know. Them. Thems what was with her, when all this went down."

"Like… like one of the actual…?"

"Don't you two have anything better to do than -"

"Wait. We're in Waterdeep," Jory breathed. He snatched up Nelsyn's script and started thumbing through it, fanning the pages and blowing a strand of hair across his nose. "Isn't… isn't the wizard…?"

Sara dropped her comb to her side and opened her mouth, but stopped and blinked at him instead. A thoughtful look crept across her face. She nodded her head in defeat.

"The wizard's from Waterdeep."

Then, as one, they all turned to look at Shayla where she stood at stage right, still as a statue.

And the music began to swell. The strings stirred the air with sounds as soft and sweet as sunset. The woodwinds sang a shrill crescendo as Erik began to make his famous climb.

And Nelsyn began to sing her famous song.

Before she disappeared beyond the narrow view from stage right, Jory watched her as she raised her arm to reach for him.

The wizard.

And her voice rang out so high and so clear, so heavy with every loss that Shayla Moonsong had ever suffered, with every plea that ever twisted her heart in bitter knots. With every word that ever fell from the mighty pen of their beloved playwright.

Who stood now with her hand at her throat. It bobbed once when she swallowed. Her lips parted and she drew a breath, and a hush fell over the crowd. She settled in to listen with the rest of them.

And her tail flicked once more to the left.

I know I've been unkind to you And I've pushed you way too far And I know in ignorance I forced you To reveal the man you are And I know I've left you with nothing to lose And even less to gain And though I know you owe me nothing Please don't give in to pain

Erik's silhouette was emblazoned across the long, velvet curtain hanging behind the hideously decorated staircase he was climbing. His movements were eery and real, despite their paltry attempts to pantomime a grisly memory that none of them had ever lived. Each step was measured and dreamlike and perfect, like a person caught in a trance or a dead man called home to his rest by a spectral light.

Or in this case, a massive papier mache facsimile of a netherbrain hung from a scaffold over the stage.

Please, Please don't do this I'm begging you not to go Please, Please don't do this There's something you need to know What can I do to make you wait Convince a goddess to change your fate Please tell me that it's not too late There's something I didn't say…

"It can't be him, though. Can it?" Jory asked. "Didn't he, like," he pointed a finger toward the stage, "explode?"

"Oh, no. It's just a story, mate," came a voice from behind them. It was Velanthyr, the elf who played Astarion. They rounded the table and perched themself on the corner, placing their white wig beside them as they took a bite from an apple. "She's embellished tons of stuff. For emotional impact. They all do it."

I should have loved you since I met you I should have loved you all along

"That bard she played? In the first act?"

"Yeah?"

"She ain't really dead either."

"Seriously?"

I should have told you that I love you Instead of hiding behind a song

"My cousin met her. Said he saw her play someplace they had dinner."

"No shit?"

"It's true. She teaches music in Baldur's Gate."

Is there nothing left that I can do But fall to my knees and pray

"So what's with her, anyway?" Velanthyr asked, pointing their apple at Shayla while they wiped the juice from their lips with their other hand.

The tip of her tail flicked again, and slowly she wrapped her arms around her middle.

To any god or any devil Who'd keep you from walking away

"She's been acting weird all night," they said.

"S'what we were just talking about."

Please, Please don't do this! Turn around! This isn't right!

"We think the wizard might be out there," the intern told them. "The real one."

"Oh no," the elf laughed.

Please, Please don't do this! Please, I'm begging you to fight!

"Hope he has a sense of humor. It's about to get weird!"

"Weird?!" Sara growled at them, flinging her comb about.

Forget your fickle god's desire I'd cross the oceans, I'd walk through fire I'd conquer all the Hells entire For you And yes, I know you're tired

"The man is getting ready to watch himself die! And I'm sure I don't need to remind you his death is self-inflicted! If there's a chance that any of this is real? That the trauma this man survived is on display? You all need to show a little respect." She shook her head and turned back to her wig. "Shut up and let her listen."

Sara's words may have stung him, but Jory knew she was right. So he obeyed her, and he listened. And for the first time he truly heard the fragile warble of desperate heartache that Nelsyn had worked so hard to craft through her voice.

Come back to me and take your rest Indulge one overdue caress I'll steal the sorrow from your chest And confess, I will confess

But he didn't just uncover a new appreciation for his friend and her level of skill. There was more to it than that. There was a depth to this scene that he'd been missing before now.

There was a meaning. One that wasn't meant for the whole world.

It was only meant for one man.

He could sense it in the vibrant tension bound between Shayla Moonsong's shoulder blades.

And then Nelsyn grew quiet. Everything got quiet. The music made a subtle shift to something low and dulcet, but tense, like a string pulled too tight without snapping. Jory found his feet had led him to stand at Shayla's shoulder. He could hear her breathing through her teeth and he felt compelled to reach out and take her hand.

She took hold of it like a lifeline.

You're everything to me and more You're all that I've been fighting for You're more than just an end to war…

Nelsyn paused after that last note. It was important to the narrative, it was the whole point behind the wizard's story. But her longing would go deliciously unrequited, and would inspire a veritable deluge of creativity from fandom communities everywhere.

Shayla squeezed Jory's hand, squeezed her eyelids firmly shut. She held her breath and Jory could see Erik had reached the top of the rise. There he stood, a straight, unyielding figure gazing off into the liminal distance, resolute.

And he would never turn around.

It wouldn't be long. Any moment.

Nelsyn sang her penultimate line.

And I would give my life for yours…

She held the word so long it nearly sank into Jory's skin. It sent a wave goosebumps to crest over every inch of his body. The orchestra wove their way through their final, sweeping refrain, and the conductor brought them to a close on a plaintive harmony between a flute and an oboe.

And then the light collapsed.

It shrank to a small, pale circle that drew its stark and shining focus on a razor-slim shadow cast against the curtain.

In the shape of a dagger.

Erik lifted it high and turned its point toward his heart.

"Gods preserve me," Shayla mumbled to herself. It was the only sound Jory could hear aside from the sniffs and sniffles of the audience. Collectively they teetered at the edges of their seats, enthralled by a beautiful, mournful man who was counting the final seconds of his life with undaunted stoicism and courage.

Nelsyn could've whispered her final line if she wanted to, but instead it burst from her as a scream.

"Don't do this!!!"

Jory felt it thrum like a shockwave within his own chest, and beside him Shayla flinched. She squeezed his hand even harder.

"Just tell me when it's over," she said to him. And then suddenly there was a flurry of activity.

He took a step back and yanked her away from the door when a small flock of technicians flew in to crowd the space they left behind.

Up high, far in the corner, Jory saw the dagger move against the curtain. And all of the good people of Waterdeep gasped when they watched the blade meet its mark.

"Fire in the hole," a technician murmured beside him, and the spotlight on the curtain went black.

Then a pair of spells were cast that bathed the audience in a blinding aurora. It blazed with ribbons of vivid blues and purples and greens, speckled with myriad glittering white stars.

And an arrow of roaring thunder was launched far overhead. It detonated with such a resounding boom that it shook everything, even the floor boards beneath Jory's feet. It rattled seats and drinking vessels, it toppled music stands, and it made Erik's staircase sway alarmingly as it was wheeled backstage, with him still riding precariously at its top.

Shayla Moonsong's face fell into her hands.

"Go on," Erik sang as he danced his way down the stairs. "Tell me how devastating I was. Don't hold back. Tell me everything."

"You were spectacular, my love!" Velanthyr assured him as they ran to greet him, cradling his face in their hands and kissing him sweetly. "You always are."

"Were they weeping?" he asked his lover, nuzzling their face with his own. "The lights are so bright, I can never see."

"They were drowning in their tears, darling. Drowning."

"Is everything alright?" Sara asked as she approached on her tiptoes, reaching for Shayla's arm. Velanthyr's wig drooped at her side, forgotten. "What can I do?"

"I can't even look," Shayla whimpered through the palms that smothered her face.

"Oh honey," Sara cooed as she pulled the woman closer. And in a blessed act of mercy, she asked the question that no one wanted to ask, but someone needed to. Long before now, before this critical point had been breached.

"He's out there, isn't he?"

"I think I've made a huge mistake." Shayla slid her fingertips down to press against her lips, unable to form any other words. She could only shake her head, her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Do you want us to look? See if we can see him?"

"I don't think I wanna know."

"Where is he seated?"

"E6."

"Oh." Sara briefly grimaced at Jory, but didn't stop rubbing circles across Shayla's back. "Front and center. Of course."

"Yep." The way her lips popped at the end of the word only served to emphasize how mortified she was. "Wouldn't want him to miss anything."

"Well, of course not. He's your guest," Sara replied, jerking her chin in a way that suggested Jory had been volunteered for reconnaissance.

"Oh gods!" Shayla raked her claws past her horns to twist them into her hair. "I even told him he could invite his mother!"

"Well that's a perfectly reasonable thing to do, one would think."

Jory understood his assignment. He sauntered away but paused at the door frame. The show wasn't over yet. When the technicians finished collecting their gear, they scrambled off to safely stow their rockets and retrieve the set pieces for the final scenes. They were dragging the staircase away from the main thoroughfare when Corinne, the woman who played the narrator, whipped past them.

"Coming through," she chimed, racing out to center stage, taking her place before the curtains could rise once more. Her final soliloquy would lead them into the epilogue, and would give Jory the opportunity he needed to cast his eyes past the orchestra pit and across the section of seats that lie beyond.

Front and center.

He would only have a minute or two. Sara would need to replace Velanthyr's wig. Erik needed a drink and Nelsyn's makeup needed a touch up. Very soon they would be on stage, the lights burning holes through their retinas, leaving them blinded and oblivious to all but each other and the saga they would spin to its end. He reached up to buckle the clasp on the bear pelt that draped across his shoulders.

For now, it was the narrator's turn. But he was ready. And then the curtains rose.

He smashed his face against the door frame like a cat burglar. A shaft of light swung down upon the stage illuminating Corinne at its center, and Jory peered out into the darkness it left in its wake. He squinted until he found the end of the section behind the orchestra pit, and he started counting backwards from there.

But seat E6 was empty.

Certain he'd made a mistake, he counted back again to double check, to be extra sure.

But he was right the first time.

"It's empty," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"What?" Shayla cried as she spun to face him.

"Yeah," he told her. "I counted twice to make sure I had the right seat, but no one's in it."

"Oh gods." She began to pace, wringing her hands. "What about the one next to it?"

"Which side?"

"Just tell me if you see an older woman."

"Umm, okay." At first he wasn't certain. There was a child on the right side, but on the left was a person who'd stood up, and was bent with their back toward him, like they were reaching for something. "I think… maybe. Yeah. I think so. It looks like she's getting up. She's picking up a bag or something. Is that a cat?"

"Tara?"

"Who brings a cat to a -"

"She's not a cat. She's a tressym."

"What the hell is a tress- holy shit, it's got wings! It just flew over - oh! Oh, I think I see him!"

"Where!"

The tressym sailed through the air to float beside a tall, slender man who was moving quickly up the aisle toward the exit. He wasn't running, out of proper respect for social decorum, but he had the energy of a man who wished he was. His shoulders were hitched up near his ears and he was stifling his mouth with the back of one hand.

And a shiver ran down Jory's spine.

This was the guy. The wizard. The real one.

Gale Dekarios, of Waterdeep.

In the flesh. Right there.

From what little Jory could see, the play had done him justice. He was a very handsome man, lithe and lean, long-legged with a powerful stride, and every bit as comely as Erik had depicted him to be.

Yet it was hard to imagine, through simple sight alone, that this was a man who had once been the Chosen of a god. Or that this was a man who had once vanquished the avatar of Death itself. A man who had put an end to the Cult of the Absolute.

A man who had once made his own decision about whether or not to plunge a dagger into his heart.

But it was easy to see why Shayla would want to stop him. This man clearly meant something to her.

He didn't know what providence deemed it necessary for him to ask. It certainly wasn't any of his business. But the question tumbled out of his mouth, unbidden. Perhaps the gods themselves just wanted to hear someone finally say it out loud.

"Does he know how you feel about him?"

Shayla slumped and let her hands fall limp to her sides. She pulled her lip into her mouth, and her eyes swam with visions of regret. "No," she whispered to him. "It was never the right time."

Oh, how irony could be so cruel.

"You should go after him, then," he told her. "Go quick. If you hurry, you can catch him before he gets to the front door."

"Shit!" she snarled and for a moment, Jory was afraid she'd scurry across the stage in the middle of Corinne's long and emotional speech. There was a wild streak in him that almost hoped she would. But instead, she bolted through the loading bay doors and flung herself outside, presumably to tear down the alley between the theater and the wine cellar to run around the building toward the front.

Nelsyn wandered over to them, sipping cold water from her mug and watching over her shoulder as the loading bay doors swung back and forth on their hinges.

"Jory," she stated flatly. "What did you do."

"What?!" he cried. Sara could only double over and laugh at him. "I didn't do anything!"

"Somebody did something," she said, eyeing the doors skeptically. "And it looks a lot like it was you."

"I'm serious! She asked if we could see him, and I told her yes. That's all."

"See who?"

"The wizard!"

"What wizard? You mean, like… Erik?"

"No!" He stuck out both hands and shook them. "The actual wizard! The real one, from Waterdeep! Yes, he's still alive! No, he didn't explode!"

"Well, everybody knows that…"

"She wanted to know where he was, so I told her, and then she ran out the door."

"Wait. So he was actually here tonight?"

"Jory," Sara accused him, still smiling pitifully at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not all you said to her."

"But I didn't -"

"You asked her a pretty personal question."

"Where was he sitting?" Nelsyn continued as she took another drink and leered at him over the rim over her mug.

"E6."

"Wow. Front and center."

"Yeah. She didn't want him to miss anything."

"So what did you ask her?"

Jory could only roll his eyes and sigh. None of them had time for this. He dropped his head and pinched his brow between his thumb and his forefinger but when he looked up, he found all eyes were on him. Even Erik and Velanthyr had paused their conversation long enough to turn around and stare. The technicians in the back tried to appear as if they weren't listening, but everyone knew they were. Suddenly, he could feel the heat that was trapped beneath the heavy mantle of his bear pelt.

"I asked her if he knew how she felt about him."

"What do you mean, how she felt…" And through the window of her eyes he could see her mentally calculating every single word she'd just sung. Right in front of the very man it was all intended for. Seated front and center, missing nothing. Her eyes flickered like golden flames.

"Holy shit," she breathed. "Like… feelings? Real ones? What did she say?"

He didn't get to answer. Just then, raucous applause erupted from behind them. The thunderous retort of clapping hands and cheers drowned all other sound, and signaled to them all that their time was up. Corinne came skipping backstage as the curtains fell behind her.

"And that's a wrap for me! Slam and a dunk! Go get 'em while they're - what's going on?"

"The wizard was here tonight," Nelsyn answered her without breaking her eye contact with Jory. "The real one. Shayla is in love with him. What did she sayyy?"

"No," he told her, holding very still while Sara dabbed a powder puff over his face. "She said no. He doesn't know."

"Are you serious?" Corinne gasped, pressing a hand to her heart.

"Well he does now," Sara chuckled, wriggling her eyebrows as she dropped the powder back into her cosmetics case. "I hope she caught him before he got away. He deserves an explanation."

And all around them, activity buzzed. Scenic backdrops rolled by, the intern fussed with Velanthyr's wig on her tiptoes, Sara dug frantically around searching for her lip stain, and the other actors began lining up to take their places. But in spite of the jubilant bustle of life happening all around them, Nelsyn could only stand with her mug in her hands, awestruck by the revelation they'd just been given.

"Sweet tapdancing Asmodeus," she laughed, shaking her head with her eyes transfixed on some far away place. "You mean to tell me that this whole time," she jostled the water in her mug when she bellowed, "THIS WHOLE TIME?! This whole play has been just a great big love letter to some… man?! For months?! And he only just heard it? Tonight? For the first time?"

"I think that about sums it up, yep," Sara told her, taking the mug from her hands.

"That's genius!" She shuffled to her place in line, utterly befuddled, her eyes glassy and glazed. "They're star-crossed, it's perfect! I wish this would've happened months ago! Just you wait, you'll see. When all the little fan fic authors out there find out about this? They are gonna go berserk! People everywhere will pay money for a vial of our sweat! The contents of our chamber pots - we'll be famous!

"Gods have mercy on us all. There might even be a sequel. We'll be touring this show til the day we die!"

************************************************************************

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

for the oc ask game teehee:

5, 12, 13, 15, 19, 26, 30, 32, 77, 94 :3

5. What is something they like to do together?

Hiking, rock/mountain climbing, swimming, working out in the gym together (weight lifting most of the time), being lazy on the common room's couch together while reading or watching films, gaming (fighting games like Tekken or Street Fighter mostly, sometimes co ops with Soap and Gaz), doing paperwork

Christine tried to teach him how to surf and deep diving, but Simon wasn't exactly a fan (he liked diving though. He just doesn't like not controlling his surroundings). He is more inclined to nap in the heat under an umbrella, and then grumble when she lies on his back, soaking wet. On the other hand he enjoys her company when he is immersed in his woodworking or tending to his knives, she takes the opportunity to read or study vocabulary, enjoying greatly seeing him sweaty and sometimes cursing under his breath.

12. What is something their S/O does that makes them flustered?

The moment Simon is completely comfortable being maskless around her, and then in various states of nakedness and semi nakedness, and is also completely comfortable with touch, he discovers he can learn to tolerate his scars. He never thought about them as something other than consequences of his job, of his past and his own recklessness sometimes.

He hid himself from the world out of habit, to avoid the pity in the eyes of people that knew, to avoid the fear, scorn or disgust in the face of people that didn't. He couldn't give less of a shit about what anyone thought, but it was easier. That way, he wouldn't have to look at them too and remember.

But Christine likes to kiss them. Each and every single one. Or just trace them with her fingers, until she learns by heart where each one is. At first he grumbled and huffed about it, mumbling something about them 'being disgusting/ugly/unsettling' and she just said they meant that he survived (which is something he told her about her own scars, so...) and that she is eternally grateful for that. So he slowly learns to accept that maybe he is worthy of good things.

Contrary to what it would seem, it's very easy to get Christine flustered. Simon looks in her direction? Flustered. Their knees touch while in a briefing? Flustered. He casually leans over her to grab something? Flustered. He whispers something in her ear? Flustered and melted.

She feels certainly pathetic for being so desperate for his touch, but Simon just laps it up. He enjoys it greatly, the cocky bastard. So if he can get away with any stolen touch, even in public (but NEVER in a serious situation, like on duty or in the field), just to see that pretty blush and the way she looks up at him, wide eyed, he's down for it.

Also, the pet names. There's something in the way he calls her 'lovie', 'love', 'doll', 'sweetheart' or similar, with that voice of his, even before they're together, that just makes her melt. She knows it's a very British thing, but she melts all the same, like the fool she is.

13. What is something they find hot about their S/O?

What they don't would be a shorter answer lol... But they coincide in the same thing that might be a bit controversial.

They absolutely love seeing the other in action. Beating someone, training, shooting, using their knives, whatever.

Ghost finds incredibly hot that Riot is not a defenseless princess, and that she absolutely could kill him. He is certain that she'd might have a bad time trying, but that she'd ultimately succeed, and, for him, having a partner that is capable of taking care of herself is very hot.

Again, this is my own interpretation of the character and the one I write, I'm not saying it's canon. All those that write civilian cutesy bimbo reader don't come at me, thank you.

Riot finds incredibly hot how big and strong he is. That he can move so silently in spite of his size, that he can manhandle her as if she weighed nothing when she feels self-conscious about not being skinny and petite. How big his hands are, so big that he can almost cover her entire ribcage with them or cup her arse.

That in spite of being so capable, she can feel safe with him.

15. How do they comfort one another when the other is upset?

Depending on how upset the other is, with touch or just presence.

If both are mildly upset, usually cuddling does the trick. It only depends who's the upset one to know who's lying on who. Simon tends to crush her beneath him while cuddling, burying his face in her chest so she runs her fingers through his hair. If Christine is the one upset, he wordlessly drags her to his lap and keeps her there until she calms down.

If they are extremely upset though... both are avoidant, so first, they'd have to track the other down.

Simon tends to hole up in his room or Price's office, so she goes there and just keeps him company until he's ready for touch. If he can't be found in his quarters, his office or Price's office, it's most likely that he'll be at Price's house. The Cap sometimes doesn't even know, he gave him a key long ago to the garage, where he has some woodworking equipment to keep himself entertained.

Christine has levels, the lowest being holed up in her room, the highest mean the nearest coast because she needs to see the ocean. He tries to get to her before that, and will drive her there himself if he can't redirect her to the K9 barracks or the nearest petting zoo.

19. How good are they at communication?

Lmao you're joking right 🤣 Stupidly bad. Like, embarrasingly bad. At least verbally, because with touch they communicate quite well...

26. Who gets jealous most often? How does their S/O deal with that?

Ok well. Both. They trust each other though.

Much to her surprise, Christine gets attention from men sometimes. She's not interested at all, but it is what it is. Even with that face of hers. Simon seethes in silence, watching intently the whole time, ready to intervene although he knows full well she can take care of herself. He's never sure if he wants her to beat the offender (he gets hard just thinking about it) or have the opportunity to do it himself.

Sometimes he is less patient and plainly grabs her waist or materializes at her side, looming, silently threatening the other guy's existence. Almost wishing for a bit of action to show off.

Much to Christine's displeasure, there are more women in the world attracted to Simon's broody, imposing presence. She is way more open with her jealousy though. She would be visibly enraged, eye twitching, clenched jaw and her mind a turmoil of what ifs and how dare they.

Simon is quite good at shaking unwanted attention, plainly leaving the 'offender' hanging without listening. He's truly not interested in human interaction beyond Christine, Johnny, Kyle, Price and the rest of the 141 and select members of other groups, like Chimera.

But he would be lying if he said it doesn't feel good to see her all possessive and murderously jealous. Of course he won't let the opportunity to tease her to pass up, once they are in private, and he'd also be lying if he said he doesn't get impossibly hard when she starts yelling at him that he is hers and she'll be damned if she allows any lowly skank to even breathe the same air as him. Or he thinks she's saying that, because by then she is ranting in Spanish and he's trying not to tear her clothes off.

30. Describe how one character would cheer the other up after a hard day.

Touch. Touch touch touch. Those two are so touch starved is not funny.

The best way to get Simon out of a murderous Ghost stage is to have him face down on the bed or on the couch, with Christine perched up on his arse, and giving him a massage. The first time they discovered that was when he pulled a muscle while training and she tried to help, and he was a puddle in a matter of minutes.

So anytime he is fucking pissed, bloody tired or just done with everything after one of those days where he hasn't killed anyone just by chance or thanks to Price being in the way, he'll drop on top of her on the couch, or will drop on the bed face down and not say a word. Of course he won't ask, but she knows anyway, and will happily knead his tense back and shoulders until he is putty and groaning. She'll be giggling so much that he'll end up laughing too.

Usually after a hard day Christine will stay for a long effing time in the shower (that's if a bathtub isn't available. If there's a bathtub, she's soaking in there, sulking). She never cries in public if she can help it, so the shower is a very good place to have a good cry, and if Simon happens to join her she can pretend it's just water on her face. He knows better though, he is no strange to crying in the shower.

So he'd wrap his arms around her and pull her to his chest, so she can cry in peace or not, just in comfortable silence under the water, for as long as she needs.

Once Simon reckons it's enough he'll start tickling her, ignoring her protests and kissing her, until she is giggling in his mouth and clings to him, her mood lightened.

32. Can they communicate private thoughts whilst in company? If so, how?

Oh, they absolutely can, with just a look. Given that Simon wears the balaclava or at least a half mask most of the time, she becomes quite adept to recognize the subtle changes in his eyes. Narrowed, widening, rolling, you name it. Subtle shaking of his head or tense shoulders sometimes. She'd tell you (if she trusted you wouldn't use it against him) that he narrows his eyes and clenches and unclenches his fists when something mildly displeases him. If he's truly pissed though, he goes stiff as a statue.

Christine stopped wearing her mask when she made the mistake of using it as an example for her 'students', so now she's kinda trapped to only wear it when there's a crowd, out of base or during missions. She thinks she's way better at hiding her emotions that she really is (she was comparing herself to Soap, so...). Her knee bounces, her fingers tap on any surface she can find, on her arm or her thigh, sighs deeply, eyebrows furrowed, rolling her eyes so hard she could see the back of her skull.

A 'normal' conversation would be like:

Ghost: staring intently (pay attention to me)

Riot: raises eyebrow (you alright?)

Ghost: slight shrug of his shoulders (want tea)

Riot: soft nod (ok we'll go)

They drive Soap up the wall (How the fook can ye understand!?)

77. What is something they would never forgive the other one for doing/saying?

Cheating. That's a hard line for both of them. All the time it took them to finally get somewhere, all the effort, doubts, agony, just to end in heartbreak? Yeah nope, there's no coming back from that.

94. Their pet has caused destruction. Who puts the pet in jail? Who defends the pet?

Who puts the pet in jail: Simon, absolutely, hands down. He won't admit he has a soft spot for all of them, but if he's pissed enough at any of their shenanigans, the pet is getting locked in a room until it calms down (or until he calms down)

Who defends the pet: Christine, of course. Because the poor baby has never done anything wrong, how can you stay mad at that face, it's just a baby, how dare you

My lovely @eenochian i'm so sorry for the time it took to answer <3 love you abejita

[zairaalbereo]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @laviejaguardia. Thank you! 💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

89, but 12 of them are art only

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

724,869

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

That’s His Name (Merlin) - 29.981

In the Winter of My Soul (Merlin) - 5.952

Just Have To Save The World (Merlin) - 4.343

Me Casa, Su Casa (X-Men) - 2.427

Most kudos for The Old Guard: Room for Love - 904

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to because I love them, and that’s why sometimes I fall into that trap of “I need to adequately convey how happy this comment made me, I can’t just say ‘thank you’’ and then I leave it for too long. Also sometimes I don’t have the spoons at that moment. But I appreciate every last one of them.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I love angst, but I love a happy ending even more, so in my fic the angst usually gets resolved. A fic that regularly leaves people in tears, though, is At Samhain, but the ending has hope.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

So many happy endings! ☺️ One of the happiest might be my Merlin Age of Sail AU, The Seven Seas , which has a very happy ending after a lot of angst and heartache.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No, not really.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really personal attacks so much, but I have received snide comments, character bashing and absurdly wilful misinterpretations. And always on anon of course.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. I’m a proud alumni of multiple Pornathons in the Merlin fandom. When I write kink, it tends to be PWP of the kind that’s about losing control, or pushing the lines of taboos. In my longer or more plotty fic it’s more emotional, focused on the characters’ connection.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I once had someone write a fic that had the exact same plot down to locations and minor details and even almost the same dialogue as one I was posting. Like a (bad) rewrite. It was very weird.  

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a few, which I’m ever so grateful for. 💕

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I’m honestly not sure how that would work for me. 😅

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Joe/Nicky really is the fulfillment of all my shippy hopes and dreams. 😍 Beyond them, maybe Cherik. I like the drama. 😂

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Cherik bodyswap fic, set between XMFC and Days of Future Past, while Erik is imprisoned. I love the premise and what I have so far, but it’s been so long that I’ve been in that fandom.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Conveying emotions and believable dialogue 

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Transitions and being overly dramatic, which is probably connected lol

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I do enjoy it in sprinkles, if it’s done well. Endearments, curses, stuff that mostly won’t need a translation footnote but grounds a character in a different cultural background. 

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I wrote stuff before I knew about fanfiction. Before you could find (and easily post) stuff on the internet. But the first fic I wrote and posted was Harry Potter, gen with very, very heavy wolf star undertones 😅

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I don’t really have an unfulfilled craving right now, and I tend to focus on one fandom, and even one ship almost exclusively, but I’m a little surprised at myself for never having written Sterek. 🤔

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

That is so hard to pick, but two favourites are Shalom Malak for XMFC and If You Abide With Me for TOG

Tagging, but obviously only if they want to @falcon-fox-and-coyote @tobebbanburg @pinkninjapj @beepbeepsan @isabellehemlock 💗

[hay1ock]

Only Friends Episode 11. I love Ray and Sand so much 😭 Yeah, mainly a Ray and Sand ramble this week. Oops lol

I’m so glad we got to see them coming back together this episode rather than skipping ahead or anything. The first scene with Sand and Yo and then Plug showing up. 1. I’m so happy they got back together. The question of ‘Do you want to be taken care of?’ And Yo’s little nods😭 Cos seriously same. Take care of me! And 2. I liked how Yo’s fears were tied to Ray’s, about people just wanting her for money and scared when someone claims to genuinely love her. And Sand expressing what he wished Ray might do, take a risk and believe someone cares for him.

Ray’s scene with Sand’s mum was lovely. He’d never had that nurturing loving experience with his own mum and even if Ray’s dad asked Sand for help, the way he speaks and acts towards his son leaves a lot to be desired. So it was great to see her being gentle and understanding, even rooting for him and Sand to patch things up. The switch to then Sand in the bar with his father, the strange comfort he received from someone who would only consider themselves a stranger in Sand’s life. First’s acting though, the slightly teary eyes and voice crack when it was pointed out he was alone that night. Yeah, I really liked they found a little comfort from the parental figures each had been missing in their lives.

‘Sand’. Ray found him 🥺 The way they looked at each other, Ray’s repeated ‘I’m sorry’, the tears, the hug, the relief for both of them. I knew I would love these characters at the very least on the surface level because they are wearing First’s and Khaotung’s faces, but honestly, these two… I care so much about them. For me their characters have been the most interesting and as we moved through the episodes I really wanted for them to overcome the obstacles and Ray’s issues to be able to be together. I truly hope they get a happy (or at the very least open/hopeful ending).

But anyway, the next couple of scenes are adorable - the bathtub and hand holding, Ray’s community service and the kids, planning for music festivals and getting passports. And then the music store scene and the way Sand rubbed the back of Ray’s head and how stupidly cute Ray was looking and the singing and… It’s amazing to see them like this. We’d had fleeting peeks before of how their relationship might be when Ray wasn’t spiralling, so it was great to see them just getting to be together when things had settled a little.

And then ‘he came in like a wrecking balllll’. Hi Boeing. Even though I’m a little hmm about Top and Mew sometimes, I didn’t exactly enjoy Boeing meddling so was glad Mew had eventually turned him away. Unfortunately, that now means he’s moved onto Sand. The way they focussed on his hand lingering on Sand’s shoulder when they met up. I’m not sure where Boeing’s been until Top brought him back into the Only Friends world, so all this time Sand’s anger has been directed at Top. It’s also probably easier to hate the person you weren’t in love with. Mew still loves Top despite the cheating, so I don’t see why that can’t be true for Sand. There’s not really a time period on a persons feelings toward another. But yeah *curses Top for needing a sleeping buddy* Boeing was given a kind of false hope with Top, then tried to play dirty riling up Mew, and now humiliated and tossed aside has turned to Sand. Maybe he thought he could use Sand’s old feelings and this time get what he wants, some kind of validation of himself. We don’t know that much about him, other than he does seem to enjoy manipulating things and not happy when things don’t go his way. So I do wonder if he thought Sand might be an easy victory, and not necessarily in a relationship way, just a use and dump, but then here’s Ray and now it’s a bigger challenge, so he goes all in and kinda twists things as if he is the one wronged and who suffered😑

Not sure where I stand on the whole sending Ray away thing. Part of me would want him there ‘if you’ve got something to say, you can say it to both of us’, but also, I don’t trust Boeing and really wouldn’t want him finding anything out about Ray, probably a reason Sand hadn’t mentioned he had a boyfriend (though maybe Ray would have really left the bar feeling more confident and secure about their relationship if he had and Boeing hadn’t dropped Sand in it - he knew what he was doing), plus there’s a chance Boeing could say something that upsets Ray and he’s early in his rehab efforts with therapy and reducing his alcohol consumption so…

As Sand’s mum said, Sand is super caring and wants to be there for people, and with the memories and feelings of what was between them I get why he might be hesitant to cut Boeing off as if they’d been nothing to one another. It’s a tough one and I’ll be interested to see if next episode we get some kind of flashback, a bit like how people were conflicted about Ray leaving Sand for Mew at the end of episode 3 and then we got the bathtub flashback and kiss, and whether you agreed with Ray’s actions or not, you could at least understand from his POV why he picked up the call and went to help Mew. Hoping we do get one or maybe more confirmation on how their relationship was.

I’m glad Ray stepped in, I’m not sure which way Sand would have gone in the end, not so much any kind of cheating I don’t feel, but at the very least letting Boeing hang around him further into the night. The suggestion of a pool party, however, I did not expect. Not 100% sure what Ray is hoping to achieve, maybe it’s a ‘keep your enemies close’ kind of thing and trying to get a feel for what angle Boeing is playing. Also, not a test as such, but wanted to assess what is going on with Sand and his feelings. It hasn’t been long since Ray’s doubts and insecurities had him yelling and crying and slamming lockers. No matter who tells him, his father, Sand’s mum, Sand himself, how much Sand cares for him, I’m sure those insecurities can’t simply vanish in an instant. I’ll be interested to see what the hell’s going to happen next episode between the 3 of them. Also, I hope Ray isn’t drinking in the pool because he’s feeling stressed (so in excess) vs what I’m assuming is a set daily amount/gradual reduction during rehab.

Okay, not going to add too much on anyone else this week (I say) as it’s nearly time for episode 12.

Top and Mew. I honestly don’t know how I feel about them anymore. I think I’m as tired as Top lol. While I agree with Top over Mew needing to give him a proper chance, get shut of Boeing and his second round of revenge, and also sympathise with him being in love and having changed and feeling guilty and wanting to be forgiven, I also don’t like how Top went about certain things. Like talking to Mew’s mums, following him about, turning up in front of him so often and I feel like he never gave Mew a chance to deal properly with his feelings without him being in front of Mew and constantly bringing him back to that initial anger and bitterness, saying he’s suffered enough - I’m not sure it’s his place to say that - asking Mew to move in already and to make up for the time Mew was ‘sulking’ - my guy, it’s not like you ate his last candy bar or something. You fucked his friend!

If Mew loves him and is now willing to give Top a real chance, no more games, then good luck to them both. I’ve said before about ‘the heart wants what the heart wants’. I’ve never been put in Mew’s position. I can theorise all I like, but in reality I might feel differently. So, as long as they are properly onboard giving their relationship a second chance then so am I.

Nick and Boston. Again, so long as there’s no more games and crying, and everybody knows where they stand, then I can happily be onboard for whatever relationship they decide upon and for however long that is for. I am a little sus over Dan’s expression, however, when Nick left, having turned down the boyfriend idea. Surely, there isn’t enough time for him to make a mess as well as Boeing?

Atom and Cheum. Feel a bit bad as to how Nick and Boston went about setting him up for a confession, but I mean, it was a particularly shitty lie he made about Boston that if taken seriously and to the police, could have ruined Boston’s life. I’m glad he confessed to Cheum and yes as his sister she had every right to believe him last week and to comfort and hug him this week, but, a little more scolding than ‘my wicked little brother’ might have endeared her to me as I’ve not been her greatest fan over certain scenes/actions.

I think that’ll do for this episode. Really excited to see how the series ends❤️

[theskyexists]

Found out the curse of chalion has a sequel!!! Very well-written of course.

Romances in it always a bit questionable I thought. Very much so. Based in basically nothing and also huge age gap. And now again though less pronounced and the writer makes the girl lose the race just to infuriate the guy because he didn't actually win that way. Why not JUST LET HER WIN. Why not make it clean why do these dynamics have to be fraught and shit. I know the society is sexist but my god.

I guess winning wouldn't have hammered home that he was being a stupid ass. But damn. If this writer pairs Liss off with Ferda OR Foix though Foix might be better, I will certainly have to idk. Be mad about it

Why should Ferda fetch Liss when she's been given LEAVE

But anyway, the god talk is much heavier and less subtle but still such a pleasing system that I like it.

Loving how cynical and bitter Ista is about the gods. And they sure deserve it!

WOW!!! THE ACTION HIT AND IT WAS GREAT!!!!

Now THIS romance is looking better.

DY LUTEZ!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!

Does suck that the best characters, Liss, Dy Cabon and even Foist are split off from the pov

NOOOOOO HES MARRIED

Well... The bastard seems weirdly sexually harrassy

WHEN!!!! ARE WE GETTING A LESBIAN UP IN HERE!!!!

Ista is VERY taken with Liss. More taken with her than anyone ever - she enjoys her spirit her body her wits her energy and even her voice. When she hates everybody else or is indifferent to them lol. But I guess she just gotta find the man who makes her laugh -_-

Truly we got the Bastard but zero lesbians.

Is she really gonna get her romance with Illvin...

Yeah... The brothers trade life-time...ah Catti can manipulate Arhyns body this way...

So Illvin. Some random dude in bed is gonna be the man who makes her laugh cos he's smart and makes jokes.

Yep I knew it. Arhys took the dagger and Catti transferred the wound to Illvin. Does Arhys know though. Probably not.

Damn what is Ista thinking. Clearly Illvin is talking about sorcery. The woman had a demon and attempted to rape Arhys then marry him with magic - but Illvin prevented it. Then somehow the knife got into Arhys

The narrative seems to scoff at Catti for her grief - as something childish. Illvin nor Arhys cries. As though losing your most beloved brother is nothing. Maybe in a world where the afterlife is proven beyond doubt it really is almost nothing...

Glad Ista continues to rightfully criticise the fucking gods

Foix really is a fool for using his magic and quadruple the fool to not consider it a terrible fucking violation to meddle with Liss's mind for his own sexual benefit. God fucking damn. Why the fuck does he need to be told this. He was supposed to be smart

Once again, Ista and every other character spits on Catti for her grief. They don't see her strength of will and willingness to go to the very ends for Arhys or her emotion as anything but an annoyance and unwise. Even Ista who recognises it as her own, is repulsed by it. The narrative never considers whether Catti might indeed be brave and deeply human for doing everything in her power to keep the man she loves alive.

I would. Has the author ever felt real grief - to present it with such disdain ?

They don't even bind her wound.

This is less well-written than the first book. Not because of the attitude towards grief but because of the languid pace

When is Ista going to realise any kind of fucking power to stand up against these damn sorcerers. If they can snap bowstrings, start fires etc. Then they can bring down the fortress no problem

If all your shit starts breaking and rotting and rusting and becoming sick you're pretty much done for in a siege

Everybody is dying before anyone even started fighting in ONE DAY

So I guess author needed Ista to be depressed for Illvin to shoot his shot. But damn. Why is he the one to be like: hey maybe your sight could be USEFUL. She made a point of it herself that Arhys could not be touched by magic. There's so much repetition in this also, as though the reader cannot be trusted, though the dialogue is pleasant.

What. Ista didn't even give Catti any time to reconsider. What the fuck. I HATE how the main character and the author treat her. Give her a choice but not the patience to parse it, to work through her grief, to grab on to the very last thing she can. FUCK these people. FUCK ista and fuck the author. She really HASNT experienced grief the way Catti has. Bitch

I don't like it as much : how the gods work through Ista as they did through Cazaril. Because Cazaril was unaware and he chose wholly by himself it seemed..while Ista is poked and prodded and gifted all the time. Here she simply meets a god who gives her a gift and all is solved.

How can she intimidate demons so much when she doesn't seem to be able to make any good on her threats.

In a world where dying is coming home to your benevolent parents - it would indeed be silly to fight so enormously in the face of death as Catti does. She didn't even let her say goodbye. Only because she couldn't instantly switch tracks. What a fucking bitch. The kid is only in her early twenties

But now they haven't even tied her up even though she's a goddamn sorcerer

In a way, this sure seems a kinder way of doing war...

Ah yes the ligature and ability to direct life energy.

Kind of annoyed and sad that the Bastard is such a fucking perv

She's like: Liss you shouldn't come bc your soul will get eaten. But let's Illvin come...

Again, a bit sad that Ista"s main opponents are relentlessly other women who she disdains for one or other reason. Wouldn't be a problem of course if there were so many others whom she might respect

I understand Arhys wanted a good death in battle but dude...if they'd NOT attacked the sorcerers and instead had Ista take Joens demon and its tied demons then the sorcerers might have all lived. I guess Ista needed her soul dilated first by the Father of Winter or something. Before she could ... Eat souls? Why would that be?

Creepy how the Bastard implies the gods drink human souls.

Somehow she perfectly saved Catti's soul but not these.

???? She leaves Foix's demon?????

Ista somewhere along the way went from: I FUCKING HATE THE GODS AND I CANT EVEN ESCAPE THEM IN DEATH. To : to become a ghost and disappear is awful - never considering it for herself. And wanting the Bastards heaven.

FOIX actually achieved demon balance??? So that's fucking possible??? By not plundering its power or getting eaten? So all along it was possible for the demon to exist in the world without it eating a soul dead?

So only the men fell sick? And the women could do archery all along?

There's also how sordso the sot is made fun of for his poetry ...would be good if they could convert the whole of Jokona to the Quintarian model. The extreme gender roles in this do sit a little URGK with me especially because they are almost cosmologically prescribed.

Guess my god would be the Bastard, because I couldn't even BE a dedicat of the Daughter - as thats for ...men. lol. At least the warriors. Don't know what other dedicats are out there.

There's a pronunciation guide. I never really have trouble with pronunciation I always feel like Dutch makes fantasy pronunciation and also approximations of Japanese pronunciation very easy and intuitive.

Fascinating really that their solution for stopping the war is now to continue the war and defeat the Roknari. Why not aim for another marriage... It's the same argument Hero made - that only Empire can bring peace. But that is such fucking bullshit...but maybe peace is a lie.

[eternal-silvertongued-prince]

Snape x reader one shot idea. Where they're having an argument and snape goes to far, then tries to make it up to reader. Super angsty and fluff 🤷‍♀️

Title: Words Cut Deep

Pairing: Professor!Snape x Professor!Reader (GN)

Genre: Angst with fluffy ending

Rating: T (see warnings)

Warnings: language, use of offensive/vulgar names, cursing, angst

Word Count: 4.5k+

A/N: My life and coursework are finally settling down where I can get through my requests. I promise I am not ignoring any of them that were sent in! This is the first-ever fic I am posting publicly, so I hope you enjoy it. English is my second language, so I apologise for any possible grammatical mistakes or errors. Feel free to suggest any possible edits or ways I can improve my writing as my background is in writing research papers, so storytelling is a lot more difficult for me. I already caught myself writing characters and movements like a calculated paper rather than a story with emotion, so I am working to improve that. Regardless of all that, I hope you enjoy :) (I made some changes to make the reader GN, let me know if I missed any please!)

P.S. I know you were probably looking for yelling but I wrote this kinda how me and my bf fight. I was always more a "silence is deadly" kind of fighter lol

It was just one of those days you kept telling yourself.

Dating Severus was not a walk in the park and you knew that when you first got into this relationship. Heck, he had even warned you that things were going to be difficult more times than not. However, none of that persuaded you otherwise. You had seen the softer sides of him. The man who laid beneath the sneers and blanket of sarcasm. You knew he had it in him to be kind and warm, but today he was really trying to test that theory.

The day had started off normal enough. You had awoken in Sev’s chambers curled up under the silk sheets that draped over the two of you. As you laid in his arms you turned to look at your watch on the nightstand to realise the alarm that was set last night never rung and were now running late for breakfast. You shook him awake and informed him of the time which then catapulted him out of bed to quickly change. Muttering curses here and there as you both readied to leave, he did not even bother to say a “good morning” to you. Granted you understood that both of you were pressed for time, so you let it slide.

When you both arrived at the main hall the only two seats left were apart from one another. You looked at Severus as he sneered at his options. Before you could speak up he stepped forward and claimed the seat between Minerva and Poppy leaving you to sit between Remus and Filius. You frowned as you took your seat not bothering to hide your dismay from your co-workers. He had dismissed you again! With not even a look your way. Had you done something to upset him? You wondered as you plated some cut-up fruit into a bowl and poured yourself a cuppa tea to hopefully calm your running mind.

“Are you alright Y/N?”

You turned your head to your left to see Filius speak between bites of his toast.

“Yes, I am. Why do you ask?”

“You seem rather down there, love.” Your head whips to your right to see Remus looking at you with worry written across his face.

“Is it that obvious?”

They both nodded their heads and you sighed. Crossing your arms, you drop your head down onto the table. You heard a shuffle coming from your left and assumed Filius resumed eating to try and give you some privacy. Remus on the other hand decided to lay a comforting hand on your shoulder. You turned your head to look at him exposing the tears that were threatening to spill. The concern he felt before grew as he took in your expression. “Would you like to go somewhere to talk?”

You nodded not trusting yourself to speak without your voice cracking. He stood up from his seat and you followed. “Is my office okay? I have a class at 9.” You nodded again and let Remus guide you out of the hall with his hand on the small of your back. You could always count on Remus. He was a great friend to you and you enjoyed your time together whenever you guys did get a chance to hang out. Now, you were just very thankful to have a friend to talk about how you felt and to get a second person’s opinion of the situation. As you left, you were too busy looking up to hold your tears at bay that you did not look towards the other end of the table where your boyfriend sat watching the scene unfold in front of him. If you had, you might have seen the way his jaw was clenched as he held his fork so tightly his knuckles turned white.

As you stepped through the door of Remus’ office, you finally let some tears fall. Remus ushered you to the armchair in front of his desk and went to put on a kettle. As he waited for the water to boil he leaned against his desk and extended his hand out. In his palm held a familiar foil-wrapped treat. “Eat this. You’ll feel better.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that broke through as you took the piece of chocolate from his hand. “Is chocolate always your solution to things?”

He let out a laugh and moved to prepare your tea just how you like it. “You cannot deny that it works in solving most problems.”

At the mention of problems, the frown surfaced onto your face again as you remembered the whole reason you were here in the first place.

“Do you know if I did anything to bother or anger Sev?”

Remus looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “No, I don’t know of anything. If you have, he certainly would not confide in me. But I am sure you haven’t. Did he say something to you?”

“No, he hasn’t,” you sighed, “but that’s part of the problem. Ever since we have woken up he has ignored me. He has not spoken a singular word to me all morning and seems more irked than normal.”

“Then a student or something else has him in a bad mood. I am sure by the end of the day he’ll be just the normal amount of annoyed”, Remus joked.

That got another smile out of you. You thanked him for the tea and his time before leaving his office, so he could prepare for his class while you returned to yours to get some grading in before you had to teach in the afternoon.

Remus was wrong. Severus was even more furious with the world it seemed. All day you heard students in the halls whisper and gossip about how ‘Professor Snape’ was more unfair and irritated than normal. You chewed on your lower lip as your last class of the day was dismissed. Clearing up the papers on your desk before locking your classroom, you made your way to the great hall for supper. Praying that the students were just being overdramatic about your boyfriend, you stepped through the door only to be greeted by the sight of everyone but the man you were thinking of. You took a seat next to Minerva thinking that Sev was just running a little behind, but as the food was served and everyone began to dig in, you knew that he was not going to show.

“Minerva, do you know where Severus is?”

“Afraid not dear. I was about to ask you the same question.”

You sighed and propped your head against your fist.

“Is everything alright? He was rather testy this morning”, Minerva asked as she refilled her goblet.

“I honestly don’t know. He seemed rather grumpy since we’ve awoken but he has not spoken one word to me and I am starting to get concerned.”

“He was complaining the other day of students being an extra handful with exams coming up. Maybe that is what has him in a fouler mood than normal?”

I pondered her response. It was a reasonable conclusion and one that made the most sense. Severus hated exam time the most. “That could be it then. I suppose I should bring him supper, or he’ll be even more cranky with an empty stomach.”

Minerva chuckled her agreement. You quickly finished your plate before grabbing a few things you know he would like and wrapping them up. You bid Minerva and the other professors a good night before making the trek to the dungeons. When you reach his classroom, you bring your knuckles to the door and rap them against the wood. You wait to hear his “come in” before pushing it open.

Severus makes no move to look at who dared intrude on his time. “What do you want?”, he snapped.

Okay, so he was still angry.

“I thought I’d bring you something to eat so you don’t properly starve.”

Walking up to him, I try to make eye contact as I place the food in front of him. Not even batting an eye at me, he continues to mark papers. I look at him incredulously, the only sound being the scratch of the pen’s nib against the parchment.

“Talk to me Sev. I know that something is wrong, and I can’t help if you don’t talk to me. I’ve missed you all day.”

He slams his quill down onto his desk hard enough causing you to jump at the sound. Your spine stiffened as he stood with such ferocity that his chair almost toppled over.

He finally turns to look me in the eye. “Shouldn’t you be off somewhere with Lupin instead of bothering me?”

Your mouth opened to speak but no words could come out. You were stunned into silence. Taking your silence as an omission of guilt from being caught, he leaned in closer, his height making you shrink into yourself.

“Tell me Y/N, do you pride yourself in being able to fool me into thinking you actually cared for me? That our relationship was nothing more than a clever ploy to trick me and break my heart?”

His words felt like venom as they passed through his clenched teeth. Your tongue finally became unstuck from the roof of your mouth, but the lump in your throat still obscured your voice as your sentence came out mangled and meek sounding. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” He scoffs his disbelief but decides to humour you and play along. “I don’t give you attention for a few hours, so you immediately seek it from the first man that is willing to give you the time of day like a whore.”

By the time he is done talking the bay of tears have finally broken. The tears don’t stop as you try to hold back the sobs. You feel as if your heart was physically broken. The air inside your lungs seizes to exist and you feel as if you were choking with every breath. Looking at your face, Severus' eyes softened a touch, but his resolve was ever-present. His mouth still in a sneer moved to say something else, but before he could, you cut him off. Your words came out hurried and jumbled, gasping with each inhale as you cried, but what you were saying was clear as day.

“I was asking R-Remus if I had done something to…to make you mad at me! He was comforting me after… after I-I was clearly upset having been ignored the whole damn morning!”

His sneer fell away and was replaced with a frown. The furrow between his eyebrows softened and he moved to take a step closer to you, which you only responded with a step away.

Immediately feeling remorse for the words he just spat at you, he contemplated for a moment before opening his mouth this time. “I am sorry Y/N.”

Through broken sobs, “I have told you countless times that I hold no romantic feelings for Remus and that he is only a friend. I have told you time and time again that you are the only one I want to be with. I have done everything, absolutely everything, to make you believe that you are it for me, but apparently that isn’t enough, and I can’t do this anymore. I can see myself spending a lifetime with you Severus, but I do not deserve any of what happened today or any of the other times your temper has gotten the better of you. I’ve forgiven you time and time again, but this time was the straw that broke the camel’s back.” By the end of your speech your breathing had calmed significantly, and your words came out with better ease, but the tears did not cease, “Words cut deep Severus. And this time, they cut a little too deep. A simple sorry just isn’t going to be enough anymore.” With that, you ran out of the room wanting to get as far away from the man as possible.

You needed to go somewhere, anywhere, that didn’t feel suffocating. That’s how you found yourself by the Black Lake with only the rays of the moon to accompany you.

The fresh air surrounding helped soothe your breathing and calm you, but your mind and heart were still in turmoil. You sat quietly thinking about the severity of what you said. You had done nothing wrong and did not regret your words at all. Still, it did not mean that you felt for the man any less. You do not blame the man for the insecurities that he holds, however, you certainly did not deserve a man to belittle you for trying to talk it through.

The darkness that first cloaked the sky began to slowly dissipate as the sun began to rise on the horizon. It was only then that you realised how long you must have been sitting out here. You contemplated getting up and taking a much-needed warm bath before your classes began but before you could make your decision and move, Remus came into your line of sight. “How did you know where I was?”

“Severus came to me and asked me to check up on you.” Remus took a seat on the patch of grass beside you that began to collect morning dew. He paused for a second to see if you had anything to say, but when you kept quiet, he continued. “He’s worried about you Y/N.”

At the mention of your boyfriend’s (ex-boyfriend’s?) name you felt the pressure behind your eyes again, so you blinked your eyes a few times and turned to look out into the distance. You were done crying.

“Did he tell you what happened?” The sun’s hues began to cast a warm light over you replacing the cold chill of the night with a soft heat.

He shook his head, “No. He did tell me that he has royally messed up though and it was entirely his fault. I would have disagreed with him, but after knowing him all these years I am inclined to agree.” You felt the fabric of his cardigan over you as he draped it over your shoulders. You gave him a small thank you before slipping your arms through the sleeves to better wear it. Giving his best Minerva impression, “So, what did the babbling bumbling baboon do?”

For the first time that night, you let out a genuine laugh. Remus smiled in return, but it was soon replaced with a grimace. “Please don’t tell her I impersonated her. She may no longer be my head of house, but I am still deathly terrified of that woman.” Your laugh settled into a soft grin, “It’ll be our secret. Mainly because, as much as I love her, she terrifies me just as considerably.”

The two of you settled into a peaceful silence again as you considered how much you wanted to tell your friend.

“Apparently he thought you and I were having relations behind his back… again. This time he decided to call me some choice words that I need no repeating, but it had hurt me deeply. When I had explained that I was upset thinking I had angered him, and you were just comforting me, he tried to apologise, but the damage was already done by then.”

Remus paused briefly to digest what you had just said. “May I give you my honest opinion?”

“Of course you can Remus. You know I appreciate it.”

“I don’t know what Severus said to you, but a few names come to mind, none of which are pleasant. You deserve nothing but admiration. I support how you carried yourself and walked away from the situation. You had every right to be angry and should accept nothing less than him begging for mercy.” He thought about his next words carefully, “However, I can’t help to put myself in his shoes and see how he might have felt. Don’t get me wrong, it does not excuse all the atrocious things he said and did, but if I were him I wouldn’t be happy either seeing one of my childhood bullies become so close to the woman I feel strongly for.”

He picked at the grass by his legs before releasing a sigh. “My friends were not the nicest to Severus and I certainly did not help by just standing there and doing nothing. I’m not saying you should forgive him easily, but I think you should hear him out.”

“I’m going to give him a chance to at least explain himself. I’m just hurt right now and need a little space.”

Pushing himself up to stand, he brushed off the stray blades of grass and dirt before outstretching his hand to you, “You take as much time as you need. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m famished.”

You grab onto his hand and let him hoist you onto your feet, “When are you not?”

“Touché”

It has been two days since your fight with Severus. You’ve tried your hardest to avoid bumping into him, which in honesty, wasn’t that hard since your classroom was closer to the Ravenclaw towers. You’ve even gone through the lengths of taking your meals in your office to avoid seeing him in the great hall. The past two nights were awfully lonely without having his arms wrapped around you as you slept. Remus had also informed you that Severus was asking him about how you were doing. Your heart was aching to see him again, but your mind was determined to make the man suffer just a little longer.

As you finished dinner, you thanked the elf that took your dirty dishes away while you tidied your desk to leave. You extinguished the candles and made the way back to your chambers for another lonely night. On the walk to your quarters, you made the decision to try and find Severus tomorrow to see if he was ready to talk, but your thoughts were cut short as you rounded the corner. In front of your door, sitting on the floor of the darkened passageway, was the man in question. He had his head tucked in between his knees and you were filled with concern as normally he was hyperaware of the slightest sound and movement.

“Severus.”

His head shot up immediately at your voice and the first thing you noticed was the dark circles that plagued his face. The eyes that you loved getting lost in appeared dim and the creases from the frown set in his skin seemed more prominent than they have been in a while. He scrambled to stand as you stopped just short of him.

“I am sorry for just showing up here at your door. I know I should give you more space, but I have been beside myself having you think that those words I horribly spewed to you were what I perceive you to be when they are the furthest from the truth.” As you stared at him while he talked, tears were growing along his waterline. You tried your best to keep your emotions in check. You had missed him dearly, but you were determined to not give in as easily as you had in the past.

“Sev– “

He cuts you off, “Please let me finish before you speak, I beg of you.” Biting the inside of your cheek, you give him a small nod.

“Not seeing you these past few days has been awful. Not being able to talk to you, ask you about your day, or have you close to me is something I wish to never experience again. I have not gotten a wink of sleep without you in my arms but whatever I feel must be a hundred times worse for you because I, the person that is supposed to care and cherish you, made you feel like you were nothing to me. I am so in the wrong darling because, the truth is, you are absolutely everything to me and should never have said otherwise. Since the day I meet you, you have bewitched me –body, mind, and soul.”

He spoke with such fervour as his hands fidgeted with the seam of his cloak. You didn’t dare to interrupt him as he said his piece.

“I am so fucking sorry for what I have said and done, my love. I know that means nothing to you now, but I cannot find any other words to express how much I profoundly and truly wish I could take back everything that happened that day. I cannot but I am owning up to it. It was wrong of me to ignore you all day just because I had woken up grumpy and so wrong of me to call you those names. I projected my own insecurities and fears onto you and while they are things that will not go away soon, you have done your best to help calm those thoughts down. I need to work more on channelling those feelings myself as I cannot solely rely on you to calm my inner demons.”

Severus dropped the cloak from his fingertips to hesitantly grab your hands, “I know that doesn’t excuse the things I have said and done but I utterly regret everything. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I hope for another chance to make this right to you. I am unworthy of your affection, but I am selfish enough to beg you to allow me another chance to show you how remorseful I feel. I have let my anger get the better of me in the past and I cannot lie and say that it won’t come up again in the future. But I can promise you that I will never treat you how I did that night. You had every right to walk away and you have every right to never want to see me again, but I want— need you to understand how serious I am about fixing myself to be the better man you deserve. Ever since we’ve gotten together we have not gone a singular day without at least hearing from one another. So, when I did not see you at all since that dreadful night, my heart ached longingly to be with you again.”

He paused, and you figured he was done, but at this moment Severus was trying to gauge how you were feeling. You displayed no emotions and that might have hurt him more than anything. You stayed quiet giving him another minute to say something else all the while he was wishing that you’d yell at him. Scream profanities, call him names, anything.

An overbearing weight sat on top of him suddenly. It felt as if his legs could no longer hold him up, so he dropped to his knees, still grasping onto your hands as if they were the last vestiges of you he had left. Head bowed, his ebony locks fell in front of his face but not before you caught a glimpse of the river of tears running down his pale skin.

“I know I’ve probably lost you and the blame is all on me for that. But before you shun me from your life forever, I want to take what is probably the last opportunity to tell you how much you have already changed me for the better. With you, I am a better man, someone I am proud to be. You have shown me what it is like to be cared for and be of someone’s importance. I am grateful for the chance you took on me and I am sorry I disappointed you. The woman who means the world to me. The women whom I love dearly– “

The hands which laid limp in his hands quickly tensed and reciprocated the touch at the unexpected words.

“You love me?” The words left your mouth cutting him off before you could even think about what you were saying. Severus’ head shot up at your question. Mirroring his pose and dropping on your knees as well, you repeated yourself a little more loudly this time. His hands tightened around yours again and a face you can deem as determined fell upon his.

“Of course I love you Y/N. I find it impossible to not love you.” His hands wrap around your wrists allowing his thumbs to be able to run along the inside of your palm. “I am incredibly saddened by the fact that you are so shocked by the prospect but not surprised considering I never made well of telling you, did I? My fears and insecurities have run my life for so long that it’s hard to not let them take over, but Merlin, I have never felt so strongly for anyone before.” He knew that he was rambling since he’d opened his mouth this evening and that much of it came out as a mix of unrefined thoughts. But he didn’t want to hold anything back anymore. If the past couple of days had taught him anything, it was that he was willing to risk it all for you. Vulnerable be damned if it granted him the miracle of one more chance.

“I will work on these insecurities because they can’t be the reason I lose you. I don’t ever want to lose you. Y/N, darling, you are my forever. I see myself loving no one else but you. I love you too deeply, so whole-heartedly, that no one could ever come close to the affection I have for you. You are simultaneously my greatest weakness and strength. You– “

“Shut up.”

The two words silenced him efficiently. His lips were pressed into a tight curved frown. Thinking the worst, that you didn’t care for his apology nor his declarations of love, he goes to drop his hands away from you. However, just as swiftly as he pulled away, you return the action by grabbing onto his forearms. Confusion and hope coursed through him as he took in your teary-eyed smile.

“Say it again Severus.”

His lips quivered, and a chuckled sob left his lips before he repeated–

“I love you Y/N.”

“Again.” This time he matched your, now, wide mouth smile.

“I love you most fervently.”

“One more time please.” He brought your hands to his mouth and placed a kiss across the surface of your knuckles. As to convey the phrase’s full significance, he brought your hands to lay flat on the area of his chest where his heartbeat was strong and steady.

“I love y– “

The words were left unfinished as you had decided to close the distance between the two of you. No longer able to hold back, you pressed your lips against his for a deep kiss which he graciously returned. His arms snaked around your back pulling you in closer fearing that if he were to let go, you’d disappear. Deepening the kiss, you tried to make up for all the lost ones from the hours you were separated from one another. He sighed his content before the two of you had to finally break apart for air.

Shifting your hands from his chest to cup his face, you placed another kiss upon his lips before speaking. “This doesn’t mean that I am letting everything you did go so easily. You have to promise me that you will work on everything you said tonight, okay? You don’t have to go through it alone as I’ll always be here to help you, but I need to be assured that if I am giving us another chance that you will truly try. I know it won’t change overnight and there will be many other nights where we fight, but I swear to you that if you try, then my love– our love– will get us through anything.”

“I’ll make the unbreakable vow in a heartbeat if you need me to my love. From this moment forward, I will be the man you deserve. A man who loves you with every fibre of my being that not only thinks it but also shows it. You have my word.”

“Okay then,” you loop your arms around his neck and pull him down to gaze into his midnight irises, “tell me again then sweetheart.” The grin tugging on your lips is infectious as he settles his hands on your waist.

“I love you. Without end Y/N.”

“I love you too, Severus.” Leaning in until your mouths are only separated by a breath, you whisper one final word before sealing it with a kiss.

“Forever.”

[zaffrenotes]

[TRR: WD106] Avoiding A Blunder

Summary: Prince Liam has to fill in for Crown Prince Leo, and Murphy’s Law is put into motion at the end of his trip. Chaos ensues, condensed Wacky Drabble style. Fic Rating/Warning: M; alcohol consumption, minor health/medical emergency, anxiety/angst Author’s Note: All main characters belong to Pixelberry/The Royal Romance, I’m just borrowing them * Fictional versions of IRL individuals are included with affection; any other characters mentioned in this piece are my creation * This is my submission for @wackydrabbles Prompt 106: You’re gonna get us busted! * You have @the-soot-sprite and @ao719 to thank for this ridiculousness, lol - Soot reblogged a photo, Betsy sent me this request

and...this is what my brain came up with (PS - thank you both for the movie discussion) * For the purposes of this story, Triydalia is a fictional country that shares a border with Thailand * Word Count: 1999 😅 (7 minutes reading time)

Taglist (if your name is crossed out, I'll tag you in the comments): @/ao719 @burnsoslow @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @ofpixelsandscribbles @rainbowsinthestorm @superharriet @/the-soot-sprite @choiceskatie @jaqren @aestheticartsx @bbrandy2002 @dcbbw @gnatbrain @jared2612 @kingliam2019 @ladyangel70 @lovingchoices14 @nestledonthaveone @princessleac1 @queenjilian @sfb123 @texaskitten30 @theroyalheirshadowhunter @yourmajesty09

Liam was used to filling in for Leo at a moment’s notice; participating in conference calls with ambassadors for early morning updates when Leo overslept, and attending meetings with ministers when Leo went AWOL. He’d grown accustomed to his brother’s antics, but he wondered how Bastien managed to keep his position, when he’d lost track of Leo’s whereabouts countless times.

While Leo spent more time avoiding his duties as Crown Prince of Cordonia, Liam dutifully took on the extra responsibilities in stride. It often meant partitioning his already packed schedule to sit in on vital cabinet meetings or dining with visiting dignitaries, but sometimes Leo’s vanishing acts gave Liam the opportunity to travel.

Though their ambassadors handled the majority of day-to-day relations with other countries for trade, Constantine preferred to meet face-to-face when he could. One such time, a lingering cough turned to walking pneumonia, restricting Constantine to as much bed rest as possible. It also meant sending Leo to Japan for a meeting with the Prime Minister in his stead.

It would have been fine, if Leo hadn’t pulled another one of his disappearing acts.

--

A week later, Liam was seated on the royal jet on his way back from Tokyo, navy attache with espresso brown leather trim in the chair next to him. Across from him, Maxwell chatted with Anya over various Thai dishes. On the other side of the plane, Drake was in a heated discussion with leggy blonde Anitah while the ladies’ petite friend Donna observed in silence, fighting back a grin. “You’re an imbecile if that’s your opinion,” Anitah declared, raising her hands up in the air. “Are you sure that’s the hill you wanna die on?”

Drake smugly sipped from the crystal tumbler in his hand. “I’m right and you know it.”

“What are you two talking about?” Liam asked, relieved to think about anything other than what was in the bag and why it was so important he hand deliver it to his father.

“Fight Club being a better cinematic masterpiece than The Princess Bride,” Drake replied. “You guys agree, right? If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, you’d want to watch Tyler Durden fight the system instead of some…” he paused to sneer at Anitah, who crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue at him, “...story about a swashbuckler rescuing a princess? She’s not even a real princess!”

“Fight Club is such a guy movie though,” Anya argued, turning in her seat to face Drake. “Princess Bride appeals to men and women, with a much larger audience.”

“Okay, that’s two for Buttercup,” Drake sighed. “Maxwell? Li?” He looked at his friends expectantly.

“Fight Club, definitely,” Maxwell said, nodding his head. He’d spent the better part of the trip doing everything to get into Drake’s good graces after the octopus incident on the first night in Tokyo.

Before Liam could respond, a commotion from the front of the plane made everyone’s heads turn, where a pair of Kings Guards and two flight attendants were seated near the galley. One of the guards slipped into the cockpit, rushing out a moment later in Liam’s direction, as the jet slowly tilted to the right. “Apologies, Your Highness. Do you or any of your guests happen to speak Triydalian?”

Anya slowly raised her hand. “I knew a bit when I was a kid, but I haven’t used it in years.”

The guard motioned for her to join him. “Please come with us, miss. The pilots need a translator.”

“Is everything alright, Remy?” Liam peered past the guard, eyes widening at the sight of the other guard and one attendant hovering in front of the other attendant in a chair.

“We need to land the plane, Sir,” Remy answered, ushering Anya up from her seat. “Ramona passed out. She’s breathing but unresponsive.”

--

Twenty minutes later and after a jarring landing, they’d arrived at a small airport in the Republic of Triydalia, at the edge of one of the country’s many jungle forests. Calling it an airport was generous - it was more of a cleared dirt path in the middle of the jungle with a shack for an airport tower, and a man that looked like more of a hunter than an air traffic controller. After a choppy conversation that required pantomiming and hand signals, Anya left with Remy and the man from the tower to fetch a tribal doctor, while Anitah and Donna assisted the other member of the cabin crew to look after Ramona. They were warned to remain as quiet as possible and to stay inside the jet.

Minutes passed by in tense observation; Anitah and Drake continued their debate in low whispers, growing louder as they defended their choices. Liam could see the pilots discussing something pointedly as they checked readings on the instrument panel and worked on calculations. One of them stepped out, claiming that he needed to stretch his legs, and walked cautiously down the runway. When he returned, the other pilot joined him outside, despite the original warning to stay inside. Liam peered out the windows and checked his watch, worrying about Anya and Remy, along with his father’s instructions to avoid delaying their return.

While the remaining guard headed towards the back of the plane to pace back and forth for the eighth time, Liam took it upon himself to speak with the pilots. The air was thick and stifling the moment he stepped outside. Around them, there was nothing but green, green, and more green from the wilderness that surrounded them, abuzz with tropical birds and insects. At his side he carried the blue attache, remembering the promise to his father that the bag wouldn’t leave his sight. He spoke in a hushed tone when he approached the pilots. “You’re doing more than just stretching your legs, aren’t you, Captain?”

Both men grimaced slightly. “Yes, Your Highness. Even if we pulled back to one end of the runway, we’re still at least five hundred feet short of clearing takeoff.”

“What if we worked to try and clear the brush on either end?” Liam offered, looking off into the distance.

“There’s no way to clear out the trees, even the young ones,” the co-captain answered. “We might be able to take off if we could drop some weight, but the larger concern is the longer we wait, we increase the risk of encountering someone who doesn’t want us here.”

Liam nodded gravely; months of civil unrest in Triydalia meant rebel groups assembled faster than the government could contain them. There was no guarantee of anyone’s safety, stranded on a remote runway. There was no telling what was wrong with Ramona while she was unconscious, and therefore no way to treat her without the aid of a doctor. Ensuring the safety of the crew and his friends could have been avoided altogether if Leo didn’t constantly opt out of handling the duties of his station. In that moment, Liam abhorred the never-ending list of responsibilities thrust at him as a result of having to pick up the slack for his brother, knowing if their roles were reversed, Leo would manage to find a way to leave Liam to solve problems on his own.

“Could you excuse me for a moment?”

He’d barely finished asking the question before walking into the tall grass by the edge of the runway. Ignoring the pilots’ calls to return, Liam sprinted into the dense greenery, dodging between vines and scanning the ground for tripwires until he could no longer see the plane over his shoulder. When he finally stopped running, he bent over, hands on his knees as he gulped in air. Liam looked down at the blue bag in his hand, wondering what on earth was so precious to reduce him to a courier.

Shaking the bag did nothing; it felt practically empty, though he could tell something was inside. He couldn’t open the bag to check, since Prime Minister Abe and his father were the only ones with keys, and PM Abe handed him the sealed bag when they parted ways. Liam wanted to throw the infernal “murse” the ladies had good-naturedly teased him for into the bushes. Perspiration dotted his hairline, and he let out a primal scream, before taking slow, deep breaths to quiet the worrisome thoughts racing in his head and bring his heartbeat down to normal.

Cursed courier bag in his right hand, Liam braced his arm against his torso, pinning it in place with his elbow when he bent his other arm up towards his face. Curling his fingers into a relaxed fist, he pressed his lips against his thumb, thick brows furrowing in thought. All around him, wild birds called to one another amidst the chittering clamor of insects hidden in the foliage. He was so busy running through scenarios in his head that he didn’t hear the quiet click of a camera, turning to look up only when he heard a branch snap in the distance.

“Watch it! You’re gonna get us busted!” Donna hissed to Drake. She pocketed her phone, elbowing Drake in the ribs as they crouched behind large leaves. She ticked her head in Liam’s direction. “Go get your boy, none of us are safe out here.”

After some coaxing, Liam headed back to the plane with Donna and Drake, walking briskly through the jungle, eyes trained to look for anything out of the ordinary. Liam was alarmed when he heard and then saw the engines running, until Drake explained the pilots were burning off fuel to lighten the plane. They’d begun to walk up the steps, when Maxwell popped out above them. “Whoo!” Maxwell exclaimed, digging for another snack from the container he cradled in his arm. “Feels like a sauna out here!”

“Lower your voice, Maxwell! Please!” Liam seethed. His features pinched together in disbelief. “Are you...eating? Now?”

“You know I stress snack,” Maxwell replied, shrugging his shoulders. He shoved another cookie into his mouth.

Liam’s eyes lit up and he took the stairs two by two, knocking on the cockpit door before swinging it open. “What if we unloaded whatever’s not bolted down? The decor, dinnerware, the food and drink?”

“That...would certainly help,” the captain replied, looking back over his shoulder. He turned to his co-pilot. “It could be enough to get in the air after burning off the excess fuel.”

“You heard the man, Maxwell,” Liam said, offering his friend a nervous grin. “Get Drake to help you start unloading the plane. Has Ramona’s status changed?”

“Donna found the first aid kit just before she took off with Drake to go after you. Anitah found some smelling salts that gave her a rude wakeup call. Turns out her insulin pump shorted and she just needed some juice.”

Several more minutes passed as the group removed whatever they could from the plane, leaving piles of cookware, food, throw pillows, and even seat cushions to lighten the load. Drake whined when they gathered up the liquor, but he stuffed a bottle of whiskey in a cabinet by his seat. They’d nearly finished when Anya and Remy returned, running on foot. “That thing better be ready to take off!” Anya hollered, motioning for everyone to board. “Rebels on our tail! Time to go!”

Everyone scrambled back onto the plane; Liam relayed the urgency to depart to the pilots, who rapidly went through their flight checklist. Remy pulled Anya up onto the steps and they all clamored to buckle into their seats, the sound of gunfire in the air as the jet rolled forward and lurched up into the air, barely clearing the canopy.

Adrenaline pumping and breaths shallow, Liam looked around at his friends and the crew, thankful they were safely in the air again.

--

Liam thought he was having a stroke at twenty-four when he saw the contents of the bag. Constantine smiled with glee at the small gold cat, one paw raised.

[theyarebothgunshot]

ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸

YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!

Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy

you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*

ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT

YEAH

Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways

i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.

I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it

i would not say no to this

heyloo bee anon here

um- wtf is happening?

jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared

because supernatural is never dead <3

okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃

true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it

WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??

LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE

Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real

bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf

I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO

we would always end up here <3

Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚

yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'

ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,

THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS

YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP

Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon

you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)

longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:

Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit

well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE

bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.

- 🍯

and WHAT a great one it was

I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢

lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??

Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj

god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip

short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)

thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!

I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢

i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon

well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo

Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??

-🍯

yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already

J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon

please, we're having a ball in this bitch

I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??

i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure

want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.

DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3

rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞

i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)

What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon

yep yep essentially djfhs

“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”

I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.

-poker face anon

next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo

ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon

you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!

hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!

AGREED

So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.

Anyway thoughts.

I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).

🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️

As for the Jensen and J*red thing.

I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.

- 🐌 anon

the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)

aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Episodes 3 - 7

I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?

I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)

The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...

Episode 4:

In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?

Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.

Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.

Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?

Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾‍♀️

Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3

I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship

Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾‍♀️

The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!

It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!

Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.

Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice

Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol

I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)

If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)

It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought

Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is

Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes

But anyways...

EPISODE 8

Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.

But I'll start with this:

Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.

Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).

Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.

BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh

Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...

Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?

Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general

Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕

(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)

Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!

Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.

....Oh yeah, Akito is there.

--------------------------------------------------------------

In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)

See you next week!!!

[barleyshine]

two slow dancers // p. parkinson

F!Reader x Pansy Parkinson

hohoho... i hope you haven’t been expecting this from me ^^ ahaha! happy birthday! have this small pansy indulgent work from me ^^

remember when i asked u if u’d prefer fluff or angst? well this isn’t exactly fluff but it isn’t exactly angst either. LOL just read it. i hope u like it! listen to two slow dancers - mitski for the Feels

warnings: major character death

You were ten years old when you first met a young girl with jet black hair and snarky attitude.

She told you that her name was Pansy Parkinson and she was amazing, and all the others were worse than her. Naturally, the attitude threw you off, and you immediately hated her. She also told your friend, Hermione, “Why is your hair so frizzy? It looks like you have never heard of a comb”, which inherently made you want to curse her into the ground.

“Parkinson, Pansy.” 

You rolled your eyes when she stuck her tongue out to you, immediately remembering all her tall tales and “I’m not gonna get into Gryffindor because it is a stinky house that doesn’t deserve half of what has been given! Slytherin is the best house!” You prayed to unknown gods at that moment, so she can lick her own spit and get into-

“Slytherin!”

You groaned. This is gonna be a long ride.

-

You were thirteen years old when you decided not to hold all the careless and mean things you said against her. 

You heard from your mother that her co-worker was going to visit your sick mother, to hand off some important paperwork to carry back into the Ministry. Upon learning that your mother’s co-worker also was gonna bring her family over for tea, you bubble with excitement to meet a new person during holidays.

That is, until the said person actually comes over.

“Hello! My name is Pansy.” A familliar voice sounded from the living room, and you internally groaned as you mother called you over to say hi.

“Hi everyone,” You greeted lamely. You barely paid attention to what your mother and Pansy’s mother is saying, and you focused on how Pansy looked at that moment.

Her eyes were glazed over, looking over at the kitchen. “Do you want a drink, perhaps?” You ask, a bit irritated.

“Oh no, we wouldn’t want Pansy to cause much trouble,” Pansy’s mother sweetly denied. “Isn’t that right, Pansy?”

Pansy snapped back into the conversation, her eyes alert. You furrowed your eyebrows, confused. Pansy wore the typical arrogant grin on her face. “Yes, of course not!”

You’re confused when the Parkinsons abruptly left, the mother quietly glaring at the daughter, leaving before the tea kettle even boiled.

-

You were fifteen years old when you finally befriended Pansy.

Pansy was out and about in Hogsmeade with her friends, Theo, Blaise, and Draco, and you couldn’t help but notice that Pansy was wearing a genuine smile on her face while mocking her friends. It was nothing like the weird grin that she always had on her face during class, or the one she wore when visiting your house. 

You sighed and continued to trot all the way to Honeydukes, stopping to check out a very confused Harry Potter on a date with Cho Chang. You enter the shop, and-

“What are you doing here?” Your eyes blinked once and twice, adjusting to the lighting in the shop. A Pansy Parkinson looked at you, confused. “I thought the shop said ‘Closed’.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, exiting the shop to find that, indeed, Honeydukes was closed. You came back in, and come face to face with Pansy again. “Ah, well, what are you doing here?”

Pansy blinked, before opening her mouth, and shutting it.

“I’m gonna leave now,” You muttered. “Don’t want to be arrested for breaking and entering.”

Pansy snickered, before pulling your hand. “I don’t know why, but I trust you not to tell anyone about this,” Pansy said, before pushing open the door to the stockroom.

You gasped.

“They had nowhere else to go,” Pansy explained, carrying up a whole cardboard filled with a litter of crup pups. “It’s the store owner’s cruppies. They trusted me, somehow, to take care of the pups while they’re gone. Don’t ask me why. And I swear, if word goes out, I will end you.”

You chuckled. “Can I touch one?”

Pansy nodded.

You cooed as you scoop one in your arms, being as gentle as possible, and petting them slowly. “When is the owner coming back? I need some sugar quills. And aren’t you a little cutie? Who’s a good crup? Oh, Merlin, it pissed on my gloves!”

Pansy laughed.

You smiled, wanting her genuine smile to last forever.

-

You were seventeen when you understood Pansy for the first time.

You were about to take a walk down your neighbourhood when you saw Pansy running. She looked frantic and frenzied, and upon seeing you, she froze. You sighed, before running up to her and dragging her inside the house.

“Tea? Or water?” You asked, heading into the kitchen after sitting her down on your couch. Pansy didn’t respond, and you quickly assumed she just wanted some water instead. You came back into the living room to give her a cup of water, and sipped from your own cup of water.

Pansy looked rough. Her eyes were hollow and eyebags were heavy, and her hair was messy and not taken care of. You remember clearly that she always loved to tie her hair, but...

“I cut my hair.” Pansy spoke for the first time. “My mother wanted me to join the Death-Eaters. I refused to.” She laughed bitterly, no humor in her laugh.

Your heart started to break.

“She kicked me out for being a blood traitor.” Pansy’s voice was thick. “I didn’t even do anything- I just didn’t want to join Voldemort because I saw what he did to Draco.”

You set down your cup of water. “Can I hug you?” You asked, responded with a nod. You settled down next to her, tugging her into a hug and she started to sob.

“This will pass, Pansy. And I’m going to stay with you until it does.” You find yourself making a promise when her body was limp in your arms, breathing softly.

-

You were eighteen when you knew that you loved her.

You both knew that this was it; the war was going to end. With the existence of Death-Eaters in your school, you were always anxious, and so was Pansy. You both spend almost every night on the same bed in each other’s arms, comforting each other and hoping for a better tomorrow. 

You were half asleep at midnight when she brushed away your hair from your face, giving you soft butterfly kisses on your forehead, whispering to you a soft ‘happy birthday’. Your heart rate picked up quickly and you found yourself scolding yourself and trying to stay half-asleep.

“I’m sorry that you have to go through this,” She whispered to you, softly. “I’m sorry that we both have to go through this. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you how much I love you because, who knows? Maybe tomorrow we’ll be dead.”

What remains of your broken heart breaks into smaller pieces. 

“So I’ll say it now, when you’re asleep and you won’t hear this and reject me. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Pansy said, pressing a small kiss on your cheek. “And I’ll love you even though we both might die in the end.”

She slipped her head in the nook of your neck, and you hummed, before settling back in bed.

You wish you could say it back at that moment.

-

“Happy birthday,” Pansy said. Your friends had surprised you in the common room, taking turns to hug you and taking magical photographs. It was a dark time, but it couldn’t dampen the ambitious plan by your friends to celebrate your birthday by shoving you inside a broom closet with Pansy. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

“Because you’re a dear friend to me, you arse,” You told her. She wrapped her hands around your waist, and you put your hands on her shoulders. It was soft and scary, but no one was watching. It was intimate.

You hummed a small tune, before moving and swaying to the tune you’re humming. Pansy followed suit, before finally the tune ends and you both are in each other’s arms.

“I should’ve told you this earlier, but... I love you too.” You whisper in her ear, still swaying.

Pansy’s grip on you hardened, before chuckling. “You heard that long ass paragraph I spouted out of nowhere? And you still love me back?”

“It’s because of the paragraph,” You laughed. 

-

Pansy was eighteen years old when she lost you.

-

note: i hope you like it! bro i swear i never meant to make it sad... it came out of nowhere and punched me in the gut and wrote itself i swear. luvluvluv sorry for the angst but i hope u like dat fluff

happy birthday, @shizarianathania !

edit: minor grammar fixes!

[mortedeveles]

Raindrops.

SUMMARY: You’ve been living in Japan for a couple of years, managing a small coffee shop and tending to your ill mother. Despite the obstacles and tragedies you’ve encountered in your life, everything begins to go smoothly, until a tall and bleeding man passes out in your coffee shop as you’re about to close.

Copyright © 2020 by Roque. The story plotline and some other elements belong to me, but all the My Hero Academia characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi.  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means.

PAIRING: Dabi x GN!reader

THEMES: fluff, then angst, etc. [ONESHOT]

REQUESTED

-prompt: ‘’Stop lying to me and tell me the truth!’’

(i made Dabi as Touya Todoroki in this, i hope you don’t mind!) 

TW: Mentions of blood, cursing, sexual themes, etc. 

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

a/n: ahhh! this is my first time writing for Dabi,, i hope it’s okay. anyways, this is the longest fic i’ve ever written! (7.7K words or so!) not all requests will be this long, i was just inspired with this one lol. i hope it’s to your taste @awkward-yaoyorozo ! thanks for requesting! as always, please leave a like, reblog, follow and/or comment if you enjoyed! xx 

You met Dabi on a cold and lonely day.

For you, it was any other day- working at your small, dingy coffee shop. You had received plenty of customers today, and didn’t encounter any major assholes or have incidents to clean. 

Humming under your breath, you began to clean the tables and lock everything up- it was time to head back home. Your other two co-workers, Daisuke and Nozomi had finished up their shift and quickly left.

A couple of years ago, you wouldn't have imagined living in a small, lonely town in Japan with your mother Ainu, and yet, here you were.

Your life took a sudden twist when you were back in your home country, (C/N), living peacefully with your parents. It was bliss- it was the only life you had ever known. But that peaceful life you led for about seventeen years was quickly over- because as unfortunate as it sounded, your parents fell out of love- and they couldn’t stand each other anymore- the tension in the house would only become worst, day by day, listening to them scream, shout and sob. They never heard your sobbing. 

They eventually got a divorce and from that moment, your life would never be the same.

It was decided that you were to live with your mother- which meant returning to Japan and starting a new life. There had been a lot of crying and refusal on your part, but it wasn't your choice.

Your mother had taught you some Japanese as a child, so there weren’t any major struggles when finishing high school.

And now, a few years after, you had been studying in college, working a part job and opened a small coffee shop (those years were hell, you never had any free time)- but was quickly forced to drop out of college to tend to your now ill mother.

It wasn't a very conventional life but you were grateful for what you had and found pleasure and solace in working at your small coffee shop. Though many things that you had cherished in your life were gone, you were grateful that your coffee shop had enough business and produced enough money that you could quit your other part-time job and completely focus on the cafe

The tinker of the doorbell made you raise your head and snap out of your thoughts. A tired sigh escaped you.

''We're closed,'' you tried your best to sound polite and kind, worn out from working all day. ''Please come again tomorrow.''

All you received in response was a loud grunt. Your eyes raked over the mysterious figure and you felt your heart drop. A... robber? The tall figure wore a black hoodie, black jeans- everything was black, even his hairs and you caught a glimpse of icy blue eyes. His movements were slow and feverish.

So far, your store hadn't been robbed or harmed and you really, really hoped today wouldn't be the day that it changed.

''Um...'' the figure stared intensely at you, making you swallow nervously. ''Can I help you?''

The figure remained silent and you clenched your fists, sneaking a hand behind to grab your phone. If anything happened, you had to make sure you were ready to call the authorities. 

Before you could question the stranger again, he swayed to the left and dropped on the floor. A gasp escaped your lips and you quickly rushed forward. 

''Excuse me?'' you quickly spoke, shaking their shoulders. The movement made their hoodie fall off and your eyes widened in shock.

The stranger- the man looked quite...strange.

He had black spiky hair, and parts of his skin had been burned and were held together with staples. You winced at the thought and tried to pull the strange man up, but he was quite heavy for you to manage.

Poor soul... was the first thing you thought when you saw his face. No one deserved this fate.

Despite your struggles and grunts of annoyance, you managed to lay him down on one of the wooden tables and began to examine his entire body. He was tall and lanky and burnt skin peeked under his sleeves, but something else quickly caught your attention.

There was blood oozing from his sides. He was bleeding. Goosebumps traveled on your skin at the sight.

''Oh god,'' you nearly whimpered. With trembling hands, you reached out for your phone. He needed medical assistance.

But the moment you unlocked your phone, it was thrown to the side and your wrist was caught in a vice grip.

Gasping, you nearly stumbled backward. The stranger was barely conscious, but you could see the venomous look in his eyes. It sent a shiver down your spine.

''Don't you dare call for help,'' he growled. As soon as he was done speaking, his head lolled to the side. He passed out, again.

What to do... what to do? You felt helpless as you stared at the bleeding man. He didn't want you to call for help and a feeling of dread squeezed your heart.

If he didn't want help then at least you would...try to patch him up. Hopefully, he wouldn't try to murder you afterward. 

You quickly ran over to your counter and slipped into the staff room, searching for a health kit with desperation. Once you grasped it in your hands, you raced back to the stranger and got to work. You weren't an expert by any means- a newbie at most,- but tending to your ill mother had helped you gain some experience.

Your hands flew over his wound, disinfecting, cleaning, and doing whatever was necessary to stop the bleeding. When you felt your hands and legs tremble, you decided it would be enough. 

Staggering several times, you pulled him off the table and sat him at a corner booth- hidden from view and sighed.

What mess had you just gotten yourself into?

                                ▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Your soft heart and morals trapped you into this situation- spending the night in the same booth- in front of the stranger. A few old blankets were tucked in the staff room and you had draped one over the stranger and another on yourself. Despite the need you had to help him out- you were still wary of him and slept with your phone clutched in your hands.

The loud ringing of your phone alarm woke you up. Slowly, you opened your eyes, and groggily sat up. When you finally focused your eyesight, the first thing you noticed was that the stranger was gone. His blanket was in his spot.

You quickly stood up, fearing the worst. He hadn't killed you- but did he steal from your shop? As you raced to the counter, you cursed under your breath.

''How could you be so stupid?!" you muttered as you unlocked the box where you held the money. You braced yourself- body tensing as you opened it, expecting to see it empty.

However, much to your surprise, the fat rolls of money were still there, intact.

''Huh.'' a small smile crawled on your lips. Quickly glancing around the entire shop, the smile grew wider when you saw that everything was intact.

The staff room window was slightly open- you assumed that the stranger from last night had slipped out through there.

Despite how bizarre last night had been, you focused on the positive and felt grateful that everything was in order- even if the man left without thanking you.

It was five in the morning and you began to open everything for service when you noticed the dry bloodstain on the table the man had laid on.

''Oh no,'' you murmured. You quickly raced to the staff room and draped a cloth over the entire table, praying that no one would peek under the covers. Now that would be hard to explain.

Once you had organized everything for service, you unlocked the doors and in a few minutes, the doorbell tinkled. It was Daisuke and Nozomi, smiling politely. They murmured their greetings and the three of you began to work.

Even though your coffee shop was pretty small, it was very exhausting managing it, even with two helpers. A small part of you hoped to see the scarred man from last night and that he would thank you, but he never showed up. You decided to shrug it off and before you knew it, the day was over.

When you were cleaning up again, the bell tinkered. An annoyed sigh escaped you. Not again... You already stayed up last night and your eyes felt weary and ready to snap close at any time.

''We're closed...'' your voice faltered when you noticed the figure. It was the same man from last night. 

''Are you an idiot?'' he snapped. He didn't look particularly mad, his icy blue eyes were calm and his posture was relaxed. But his words were blunt and rude. 

''Excuse me?'' you couldn't help the anger that began to bubble in your stomach. You tended to the guy yesterday, didn't even get thanked and now that he's back, the first thing he does is insult you? Not on your watch. 

''You heard me. A strange, dark, and tall figure marches into your store, bleeding out and the first thing you do is patch them up? If you do that with every stranger, you're going to be killed, sweetheart.'' there's a playful look in his eyes, but his words are drawn out lazily and his lips are pulled in a firm line.

Scoffing, you lower your gaze and continue to scrub at the dirty tables. ''I think you should be thanking me, not reprimanding me for helping you,'' your lighthearted attitude is quickly gone and you scowl as you speak.

A grin tugs at his lips and you avert your eyes, feeling your face warm. You've never seen someone like him- appearance-wise- and for some reason, his looks make your heart race. You think he looks beautiful, exotic. Tempting.

''You're a feisty one, ain't 'cha?'' he strides over to you, hands in his pockets. You nervously step back and back into the counter. He's much taller than you- looming over you with a small smirk.

''Thanks, honeybuns.'' your cheeks burn at the nickname and you clench your fists at your sides. 

You stare at his face- trying to decipher his expression- but it’s unsettling, his expression is too perfect- as if he had practiced it a million times. He looks passive but his words are playful and teasing.

He's silent for a couple of moments, raking his eyes over your face but quickly steps back and begins to walk out of the cafe.

''See you later, sweetheart.'' He waves at you without turning around and closes the door behind him. 

Once he's out of the shop, you feel your legs slightly trembling. Licking your lips, you clear your head and continue to close the shop as fast as possible.

                                     ▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

The strange man is on your mind for days- how his blue eyes look like ice- dangerously cold and sharp. And even though staples and piercings are scattered on his face, they remind you of abstract sculpture- unusual but beautiful. The final touch that would change a good artwork into amazing artwork. 

Being near him makes you reminisce of the past- of better times. He's walking nostalgia. 

Sometimes you would daydream and think about spreading paint across his staples, painting beautiful swirls of blue. However, these daydreams were usually cut short by a new client or one of your co-workers.

Today was Thursday, which meant that you had to visit your mother Ainu at the hospital.

You made sure to inform your co-workers that you would arrive late today and spent an hour or two with your mother. After the visit, you felt your shoulders lighter. Visiting your mother to make sure she was still breathing helped you calm down. 

Once you arrived at the coffee shop, the next couple of hours were busy and flew by quickly- you didn't even realize it was night time until Daisuke and Nozomi informed you that their shifts were over and left you alone in the cafe.

The moonlight seeped inside your small shop and there were still a few couple of customers in the shop. You tended to their needs and stood behind the counter. The soft ringing of the bell told you that a new customer had just entered- but you were too busy at the moment closing one of the display slides. You heard footsteps approaching and while you tidied up some dessert displays, you greeted the customer without looking up.

''Hi! Welcome to Raindrops Cafe. What can I get you?'' 

A soft chuckle that sounded familiar made you freeze.

''So polite. I'll have a black coffee.'' you could hear the smugness in the man's voice. 

You snapped your head towards him and fought down a smile. The same scarred man is standing in front of you, wearing a black hoodie over his head. 

''We meet again,'' you smile. ''Okay, I'll work on it. It'll be 320 yen, sir. Do you want a mug or a cup to go?'' 

''A mug,'' he responds and nods as he fumbles in his pockets until he pulls out the exact amount. You quickly reach out for it, trying to ignore how your fingers brushed against his. 

Being so close to him feels pleasant- there’s a feeling of safety and comfort when he’s near- even though his appearance says otherwise. Still, you're not the one to judge. He probably has enough with the stares of others. 

''I passed by earlier,'' he says. ''But the other workers told me you weren't here.''

You avert your gaze and nod, staring at the register. 

''Yeah, I um...,'' you pause. Are you about to tell him- a man that you've only seen twice- your life story? You hesitate. ''I went to visit my mom today.'' you make sure to sound distant so he doesn't press more. 

Talking about your mother was a sensitive topic. It reopened old wounds. 

He nods silently. You swallow and turn around. Once you start the coffee machine, you walk over to the counter.

''It'll be out in a bit,'' you nod to the machine. ''You can sit down while you wait. I'll call you out when it's ready. Your name is...?'' you raise an eyebrow and wait for an answer.

He's silent for a couple of moments as if he can't recall his name.

''Dabi,'' his voice is significantly lower. ''My name is Dabi.''

He looks wary afterward and you simply nod, writing down the name on a sticker, placing it on a mug. Dabi stares at you, almost in caution- as if he's waiting for something to happen.

''That name sounds familiar,'' you hum and tap your fingers on the counter. You don't notice how his body slightly tenses. ''Are you a public figure, Mr. Dabi?'' you ask with a teasing grin. 

''I think I've heard it on the news, but I rarely watch it. Don't get enough time.''

He's silent for a couple of moments and you turn around just in time to check the coffee. When you return to the counter, Dabi's gone. Your eyes dart around until you spot him in the same corner booth from a few days ago and when your eyes meet his, he shoots you a lazy smile.

His smiles make your stomach twist, not in a bad way, but in the way that makes you want more of him. 

The coffee is ready to be served in a few minutes- and you wait patiently. Once it's ready, you pour it into the mug and place it on a small plate. 

You ring the bell on the counter and call out for him.

''An order for Dabi!'' he quickly rises from his seat. You take a glance around the shop- all of your customers minus Dabi are gone. You hadn't even noticed that they left. 

Shooting a glance at the clock, you notice that it's barely nine o'clock, and you still have half an hour to spare. You hand over the mug to Dabi who quietly thanks you.

After cleaning tables and closing everything up, you stand at the Dabi's booth. His mug is empty but he's still in the cafe, staring outside the window. He looks troubled- eyebrows furrowed together.

''Mind if I sit with you?'' his head jerks up. Dabi nods and you smile, sliding into the seat in front of him.

''So,'' you start. ''What brings you to Raindrops again?''

Dabi smirks and his fingers toy with the mug. 

''I wanted to see you again, sweet cheeks.'' 

Your cheeks are burning, but you muster up enough confidence for a retort.

''Sweetcheeks? That's new. I think I'm more fond of honeybuns,'' you wink playfully and he grins.

''Noted. I'll make sure to use honeybuns more often.'' a small giggle escapes you.

''The nicknames are nice and all, but what's your name?'' his gaze is intense. You smile as you respond.

''My name is Y/N.'' 

Dabi hums. ''Y/N. I like it.''

You spend a couple of minutes chatting- mainly he's asking short questions and you're answering, but you don't mind- and when you glance at the clock you quickly rise from the booth.

''I have to close the shop now,'' your voice is soft. ''I enjoyed talking to you, Dabi.'' 

He nods in understanding. The two of you walk outside and you lock everything as you leave. 

''Well, this it. I'll see you another day...?'' you hope that he'll agree. 

Dabi shrugs. He doesn't seem very fond of commitments, you think. 

''I'll see when I swing by,'' he pauses, and his gaze shifts to your surroundings. You live in a fairly safe neighborhood and the majority of the citizens here are seniors and elderly people, so there are rarely people out at night.

''Do you want me to walk you home?'' his tone is cool and careless- but you can tell he's concerned. It makes you smile softly.

''No, it's okay. Thank you, though.'' he nods.

''Well then, good night, Dabi,'' you smile shyly and wave at him for one last time before walking home. 

Once you've stripped down to nothing but a long t-shirt and underwear, snug under your blankets, you close your eyes. When you close them, he's all you can see. His beautiful eyes, his teasing smirks, and how his voice is always so cool and relaxed.

You bury your face in a pillow and rub your thighs together.

Dabi is all you can think about.

                                   ▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Over the next few months, Dabi's visits are more frequent- though you notice that he usually visits at night time or when you're closing the shop. Some days he walks you home and you talk about anything- from your day or how the cafe is holding up- and he listens dutifully. Dabi is a good listener.

Every time you see him, you can feel you feel lighter- like if you're no longer dragging your feet across the floor and instead you're practically floating- being with Dabi makes you feel at peace.

From his constant visits, you've noticed that Dabi is very private with his personal life, but you don't mind. Not everyone is as talkative and open as you. 

He stiffens whenever you mention your father or ask about his own- so you avoid the subject. 

Dabi makes you feel things- you like him- and you're certain that he feels the same way. His lingering gazes on you, the way he smiles, and how his touches linger on your waist confirm your suspicions. So the next time he strolls into the cafe and orders his usual- this time for the go- you make sure to write down your number with a smile. 

Today he seems to be in a rush- his eyes are darting everywhere and he's more distant and usual, you barely make some talk with him before he's out the door- and you wonder if it was a good idea to give him your number.

Your phone doesn't ring until you're crawling onto your bed and you quickly open the message.

Unknown: this you, sweetcheeks? I was wondering when you were going to give me your number

Biting your lip to suppress a giggle, you quickly respond.

Y/N: You haven't made a move yet, so I decided I would

Dabi doesn't reply for a while and your thoughts slowly turn negative and insecure. Was that too forward? Maybe you had been misreading his signs and he wasn't interested in you?

He doesn't reply for a while and you decide against staying up and wallowing in self-pity, so you place your phone aside and quickly fall asleep.

The next morning, you wake up from your phone vibrating like crazy. You have a phone call-its from Dabi.

''Hello?'' you greet groggily, propping yourself up on your elbows.

''Morning, sweetheart,'' hearing Dabi's voice first thing in the morning makes you smile sleepily. ''Did I wake you up?''

''No, no, it's okay,'' you murmur. There's some commotion on the other side of the line- as if Dabi's in a bar. You can hear the chattering and clinking of drinks.

''M' sorry I took long to respond to your message,'' you can hear footsteps- he's walking away. ''I was busy and I didn't see your message until well, right now.''

You laugh throatily and twirl your hair around your finger. ''It's okay,'' your insecurities begin to vanish. ''So? What do you think?''

Dabi hums lowly and it makes you clench your thighs unconsciously. 

''It's a date. Meet me at the cafe at ten o'clock,'' Dabi responds and you grin.

''What are we going to do?'' you can't help but feel giddy. You've done it- you're going on a date with Dabi- the guy you've been pining after for months.

Dabi chuckles. ''It's a surprise. You'll see. I-,'' he's interrupted by loud shouting in the background and you hear him sigh in annoyance.

''Look, I gotta go. Something came up,'' you nod, still basking in the happiness from earlier. ''Okay. See you tonight, honeybuns.''

You murmur a quiet 'bye' and once he ends the call, you fall back onto your bed, a wide smile on your lips. 

                                                    ▬▬

Once it's ten o'clock, you find yourself waiting patiently in front of your closed cafe. Since it was a date- you decided to dress up a bit more. 

A few minutes passed by and you spotted Dabi approaching you, wearing a black leather jacket, black ripped jeans, and black combat boots. He looks mouthwatering.  

You smile when he waves at you. He reaches for your hand and your heart bursts- he's initiating the physical contact. His fingers are long and slender.

''So,'' you start. ''Where are you taking me, Dabi?''

He grins in response and remains silent. Dabi leads you to a car that looks rather expensive- and you suppress the desire to ask where he got it from- he's rather private and you don't think he'll appreciate your question.

''Get in, sweetheart,'' he smirks before sliding into the driver seat and you quickly slip into the car. Once the two of you are seated, Dabi turns on the engine, and the car roars to life.

The first few minutes are quiet but comfortable and you don't speak up until you notice that your surroundings are becoming more unfamiliar by the moment.

''Dabi,'' you start slowly. ''Where are we going?'' 

Dabi glances at you and he smiles- it’s not a teasing or mischievous smile- a pure, refreshing smile and you feel yourself relax into your seat. 

''What did I say? It won't be a surprise if I tell you,'' you laugh briefly and shrug.

''Just wanna make sure you're not leading me into a forest to kidnap me.''

Dabi chuckles and you feel less tense by the minute- you've known for him for weeks and he's never displayed any intentions of harming you,- there's nothing to worry about.

After a few more minutes, Dabi pulls up at the entrance of a forest- and your heart stops for a second.

Dabi notices how you tense and your expression briefly falters and slips his hand into yours.

''Don't worry,'' he smirks at your uneasiness. ''There's something here I wanted you to see.''

You nod and the two of you quickly slip out of the car and he leads you into the forest, trudging forward until you spotlight. A few lamps are surrounding a warm blanket- and there's a box with two glasses next to it. 

''Dabi...?'' you drop your hand in shock and stare with wide eyes at the scene. It's simple and small, but it makes your heart burst with joy.

''No one's ever done something like this for me,'' and before Dabi can react, you throw your arms around him. He quickly responds and wraps his arms around you as well.

''Thank you,'' your words are muffled but Dabi nods in understanding. You quickly regain your composure and your date begins. 

Dabi brought hamburgers and fries- you had briefly mentioned before that they were your favorite- and wine. The two of you chat about everything as you eat and once you both feel full, you lay down and stare at the sky, hands brushing against each other.

''Wow,'' the sight leaves you breathless. You slip your hand into Dabi’s. ''Seeing the sky without any traffic lights is so different. The stars are so beautiful,''

Dabi's silent for a while and while you're too busy gazing at the stars- he's busy staring at your face, studying each of your features. 

Your gaze never drifts away-until you feel a small droplet of water spill on your cheeks. Brushing it away without hesitation, you focus your gaze on Dabi and smile tenderly.

Drip. Another one falls on your back. Exasperated, you brush it off until you realize that it's raining. 

Drip. Drip. The raindrops are quickly falling and Dabi curses. He quickly pulls you forward and the two of you race to the car- you can worry about the blanket and lamps later- but you stop him halfway. He glances back at you and frowns. His spiky black hair is dripping wet and quickly lost its shape and you're sure you don't look any better.

''Don't be so rash,'' you smile and wrap your arms around your neck. ''Don't you want to appreciate the rain?''

Dabi chuckles and pulls you closer. ''This feels like a fucking cheesy movie,'' his words are blunt but there's a smile on his face.

''Who says it isn't?'' with a smirk, Dabi pulls you forward and presses his lips against yours.

It's a moment that is still lively and vivid in your memories- kissing Dabi under the rain.

The two of you had quickly rushed off to the car after the first and intense kiss, mainly because you were fearful of catching a cold. 

After the date, you were in a good mood for days and kept texting with Dabi. The more you talked with him, the more you realized he was an interesting character. 

You spent months in bliss- even your co-workers noticed the change in your demeanor and would occasionally send you a knowing smile or smirk. 

Your dates with Dabi weren't that frequent- not that you minded,- since his job forced him to be constantly busy. Instead, you kept in touch through texting and sometimes he would drop by your cafe and walk you home.

Sometimes your insecurities would get the worse of you- but Dabi was quick to flush them down. When your mother Ainu passed away in the hospital due to old age- you had broken down in tears and felt numb for several days. He couldn't be with you the whole week, but he made sure to bring you food, help you clean up and feed you. Dabi was there for you. That week was very difficult for you and Dabi didn’t care. He rode it out with you. 

When you went out on dates with Dabi, he was usually the one to propose them and would never tell you what he had planned- it was always a surprise.  

On the fifth date, there was a silent agreement between the two of you- you've danced around each other for long enough and when Dabi walks you home, you tug him into your apartment- and he's happy to comply with your wishes. Your lust and need are far too big to be left ignored.

                                  ▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Dabi's arms are under his head and you can feel your inner thighs ache from your previous activities. You're both cleaned up and returned to bed, basking in the afterglow of sex.

His body is warm to the touch and you snuggle into his chest. His arm wraps around your waist and pulls you closer.

''Can I ask you something?'' his voice is casual but you perk up at his voice.

''Of course, you can,'' you murmur and softly trace your fingers on his arms.

''Is there anything you want to do in your life? Like, a dream of a sort?'' his question leaves you silent for a moment, thinking about an honest answer.

You nervously play with your fingers. You've been working on accomplish a certain dream, but was afraid of how he would react, so you never mentioned it. 

''Well... there is this one thing I want to do,'' you meet his gaze. ''Promise you won't laugh?'' 

Dabi scoffs. His grip around you tightens. ''Why would I make fun of you? What is it?''

''Um...well, I want to close the cafe and with the savings, I'm earning, open a cat cafe.''

You close your eyes, expecting him to burst out laughing. Out of all the ambitions you could have in life- yours was quite simple. Opening a cat cafe had always been your life dream. Cats were your favorite animal and you would've had one if your landlord had allowed it. He hated animals. 

''I like that idea.'' Dabi's low voice makes you look up. He's looking down at you, tangling his fingers in your hair.

''Really?'' there's a soft smile playing on your lips. Dabi could be blunt or rude and you weren’t going to lie- he had some rough edges around his personality, but he was one of the most thoughtful and kind guys you had ever met. 

''Have you thought of a name for the cat cafe? Or are you keeping the name Raindrops?'' 

You shake your head and click your tongue.

''No, I don't want the keep the name Raindrops. It's going to be a new shop so it's like a new start for me, ya know?'' A fresh start, Dabi thinks. A fresh start for you without him? His mouth feels bitter at the thought.

''So I've been thinking of names, but I haven't liked any.''

Dabi nods. An idea pops into his head and he blurts it out.

''You know, you could name it after your mom. Ainu has a nice ring to it,'' he makes sure to lower his voice. 

You stiffen. It's been a few weeks since your mother passed away and mentioning her still makes you feel disorientated. But hearing Dabi's suggestion makes your heart warm.

You slowly relax and tighten your arms around him.

''I love it.''

                                                  ▬▬

Your relationship with Dabi was strong and passionate- you understood each other. The two of you rarely argued- you always communicated. Needless to say, your relationship wasn't perfect. There were some rocky situations and bad moments you two would encounter, but would always handle them together.

''Why are you with me?''

Dabi's question makes you frown and sit up. You stroke his cheek but he flinches at your touch.

Your heart feels heavy. 

''What on earth are you talking about, Dabi?'' you murmur. He averts his gaze from you. ''I'm with you because, I, I love you,''

Dabi's eyes perk up at your words. It's the first time you've told him that you love him and it took him by surprise.

Without another word, Dabi pulls you into his arms and you squeal in surprise. You don't notice that he didn't reply with his own 'I love you.'

You're too busy in basking in the affection and touches of Dabi. There's a bright smile on your face as the two of you exchange kisses- your life is perfect- you feel so happy it feels intoxicating, Dabi is the best boyfriend you could ask for, the cafe is running smoothly- better than you would expect- and soon enough, you would have enough to open the cat cafe.

It seems that everything fell apart after that night. 

                               ▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

In the next few weeks, Dabi's visits and messages are declining and you can't help but feel distraught at the change.

Everything was okay. What happened?

The first time you noticed things were changing was when you invited him on a small walk to the cemetery and the library afterward. You wanted to visit your mother and leave her some flowers.

He had agreed to accompany you and you were to meet him at the local bus stop and you waited an hour there. Dabi never showed up.

He apologized the next time you met and you quickly forgave him, hoping it would be a one-time thing. Except it wasn't. Dabi began to cancel on your meetings or straight out reject them. You would never forget the feeling of sitting in a coffee shop, hopeful that Dabi would show up- even if an hour had passed by-, receiving looks of pity from the workers. 

You began to approach your limit one day at work. Your co-worker Daisuke, was watching the news intently on his phone. When he noticed you staring, he beckoned you to watch the news with him. It was live news, reporting a villain attack on an area that was at least an hour away from the cafe. Living on the outskirts of Japan included fewer villain attacks and you weren't up to date with the news.

The news reporter stated that the villains were the League of Villains. You felt distraught and confused since you had never heard of them before. Managing a cafe was a busy life and ate up most of your time. 

You stifled a gasp when you saw a wall of bright blue flames lick at a building. Their color was strangely familiar-icy blue, just like Dabi's eyes.

The news reporter's voice became louder and more anxious by the moment and your blood ran cold when you spotted an arm. A scarred arm. Parts of it were burnt and held together with staples.

Is that...Dabi?

The thought had been on your mind all day and it didn't help that Dabi had ignored you for the entire week and you had gone to bed frustrated and worried. Where was he? Was he okay? Was Dabi injured, unable to contact you, or was he simply safe and decided he had enough of you? Both options made your heart ache painfully. Today had been a stressful day- you were at your limit. 

You had been drifting in and out of sleep when you heard the apartment door swing open and loud footsteps enter the living room. As if you had been thrown into a cage of ice, your entire body froze and goosebumps rose on your arms.

Dabi? A thief? Or worst...a villain?

Slowly, you reached under your bed and blindly snatch your silver baseball bat- Dabi had given it to you with the words 'stay safe.' You tiptoed out of your bedroom and froze at the tall and dark intimidating figure that was strangely familiar. 

The figure switched on the lights and confirmed your suspicions. 

There he was, looking like if he hadn't slept for days, your boyfriend Dabi staggered onto the couch.

''Dabi!'' you immediately cried out and rushed towards him. ''Are you okay?!" your eyes raked over his body and relaxed when you didn't see any visible injuries. Dabi grunted and you sat down next to him, unsure what to do with yourself.

''M' just fine. Just need some sleep,'' he didn't spare you another glance before walking towards your bedroom.

''Dabi...?'' you walked behind him. He didn't reply and continued to trudge towards your bed.

''Dabi!''

He was sitting on your bed and scowled. ''What?!" 

You clenched your fists. He didn't deserve the right to be mad- he had ignored you for a week without a word.

''You don't get to be mad,'' you whispered with a tremble in your voice. ''You've ignored me for a week and now you show up in the middle of the night like nothing?''

Dabi groaned and kicked off his boots. ''Calm down, Y/N. I told you when we started dating that I won't be here all the time.''

You sigh and pinch your nose. ''That's not the point. I don't mind- it's your life, but it wouldn't kill you to let me know. You've stood me up four times,'' your voice quivers and regret washes over Dabi's face.

''I'm sorry,'' he mutters. ''I had some business to do. I'll make it up to you, I promise.''

His words make you scoff. Dabi had said the same thing the last three times.

''What's going to be your next excuse, Dabi?'' you sneer. ''Busy with your job? A sick brother? If you don't love me anymore, then don't be a coward and tell me!'' you cry out. ''Stop lying to me and tell me the truth! I hate being left in the dark.'' 

Dabi's silent. You pinch your nose and climb into the other side of the bed- you’ll deal with him tomorrow- but Dabi grabs you and holds you tight as if he's afraid you'll vanish into thin air. His perfume and strong arms lull you to sleep. And the last thing you hear is his whispered apologies. 

                                   ▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

On days like these, you wonder where it all went wrong. Maybe it was when you laid in Dabi's arms after two intense rounds of intercourse, thinking about how perfect your life was. You shouldn't have said it- the universe must've heard you and saw how lucky you were- and decided no one could be that fortunate. 

After yesterday's argument, Dabi had left. He was gone when you woke up, but his warmth lingered in your bed. You curled up into a ball and cried for hours.

Sunday's never sat well with you- they made your mouth dry. Something about them made you feel that everything was going to end quickly and that something new and dangerous would begin.

Today was your day off and you decided to keep your mind off Dabi. You visited the cemetery, ice cream parlor, and the library, but they all reminded him of you. The darkness and melancholy the cemetery held reminded you of Dabi when he felt unwell. The blueberry ice cream reminded you of the frosty blue shade of breathtaking eyes. And the peaceful silence of the library was similar to that time you stargazed with him.

You spent another two weeks without another word from him. Everything was going badly- for some mysterious reason, the sales of the cafe began to plummet and your dreams of opening a cat cafe were farther from your reach.

On a Wednesday, you received a text message from your boyfriend.

Dabi: Can we talk? I'm free at 8 PM.

Your melancholic mood slightly decreased. He was willing to communicate with you, that was a good sign, right? Maybe you could talk about your problems and everything would be fine, right?

Once you stepped into the apartment, you were the first one to speak. After being left in the dark for so long, it was your turn to talk.

''You know, I realized something a few weeks ago,'' you slip off your coat and feel Dabi's eyes on your body.

''I barely know a thing about you,'' you laugh dryly and lean on the wall.

''I've told you so much about me, Dabi. Why can't you tell me about you?''

His silence aggravates you. Even you can feel it- your relationship is tearing apart at the edges.

''Dabi...'' you sit down next to him and squeeze his shoulder comfortingly. 

''I love you.'' He doesn't react at your words. Your throat feels dry and impossibly small. 

''I'm a villain, Y/N.'' 

He's staring directly at you, emotionless but his fists are clenched on his knees. Dabi's confession feels like a punch to your stomach. You've had your suspicions before but they weren't enough to pique your interest. All the nights he had to leave, the days he wouldn't even show up, all because he was...

A villain.

''We're over.''

You're stunned. All the warmth in your body abandons you and you swear you can hear your heart cracking.

''What...?'' tears began to gather in your eyes. He can't be serious.

Dabi stood up but you're quick to grab his hand.

''Dabi, wait!'' he freezes at your words. ''I don't care, okay?!'' you stand in front of him and clutch his scarred face in your hands.

''I don't care, because I know you're so much more than a villain. You're my Dabi, the only one who's been here for me no matter what. I love you,'' you whisper weakly.

Dabi averts his gaze to the ground. The fact that he won't meet your gaze is making you feel anxious. 

''I know you love me, Dabi,'' you sound confident but you can feel your confidence crumble on the inside. ''Don't you love me? We can get through this, together.''

He's silent and his silence feeds your insecurities. They're crawling out of dark pits and seizing control over your thoughts. Dabi is still silent as he pulls away from your touch and begins to walk away.

''Dabi!'' you yell, pain and agony blurring into your words. ''Don't be a coward and end things this way!''

He spurs around, ice blue eyes narrowed and his arms are trembling.

''It's over,'' he repeats. But you're not letting him go easily. 

''Don't leave me!'' you exclaim and clench your fists. 

''I'm a villain, Y/N!" Dabi roars. ''You can't be with someone like me!''

''I don't care!'' you cry out with despair and clutch his wrist. ''I don't give a shit that you're a villain, Dabi! I love you! You could have the most miserable life in the world or be the devil- I don't care! I love you, Dabi, and I'll always be at your side. I'll follow you through heaven and hell.'' your face is moist with tears and they're blurring your eyesight. 

''I love you, Dabi,'' your fingers are trembling. 

''I can't stay with you. I'm sorry.'' his words rip your heart in two. You've screamed and begged- it's not enough. It never will be.

''Okay,'' you whisper shakily. ''Can you just do something for me? For old time's sakes?'' 

Dabi looks wary but nods. You swallow thickly and tug him closer for one last kiss, showing your pain and love for him through the tender touches.

Once you pull away, you're breathless. Dabi's eyes are locked onto yours. He gently pulls away. And you muster enough energy to repeat the last three words.

''I love you.''

Dabi walks towards your door and closes the door behind him. You crumple to the floor with one thought in your mind. 

He's never said it back.

                              ▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

Dabi has never felt this bad. The pain that makes his heart throb is unbearable. He's never felt this way- not even when his father would beat him to a pulp or burn him until he was on his knees, screaming until his throat felt raw.

He was being delusional- thinking he could scurry back to you whenever he wanted- but the reality was that he was a villain, and villains don't have time for distractions.

The two of you simply don't fit together, he thinks bitterly. He's a wicked, fearless villain and you're a cute civilian that runs a homey cafe. It would've never worked.

Dabi is a harsh and ruthless blizzard- the type that you encounter on a dreadful day and brings nothing but death and sickness. A blizzard that tears apart families, innocent lives, and destroys love in his cold and deadly grip. He ruins everything.

You're the snow that falls in the beginnings of winter,- beautiful, fragile, and mesmerizing. You bring joy and happiness with so much grace that leaves him speechless. You're too fragile for his destructive life. 

The League of Villains is preparing for an attack- he had to end things before you were targeted.

It was never supposed to be this way, he was never supposed to visit you for the second time, or the third, or the fourth. 

But he was drawn to you, like a moth drawn to a flame. Burning both of you in the process.

Dabi should’ve known- he’s always been wary of commitments. He knows what they imply. And yet, he blindly fell in love with you- despite knowing how it would it end. Your relationship would crash and burn. Sizzling with bitter heat, branding the two of you with new scars.

                                                        ▬▬      

He feels bitterness coil around his heart as he stares into the window of the cat cafe. It’s been a bit over a year since he’s seen you. There's a brunette speaking to you and you're smiling brightly- like when you were in his arms- and he feels jealously boil in his veins. The brunette is dressed as a normal civilian- he's perfect for you.

He's quick to shake such negative thoughts and instead, appreciates the sight of you. You look healthy and well- there are no eye bags under your eyes, no tears running down your cheeks-, your soft hair is carefully brushed and well kept. You look as beautiful as the first time he met you- he can still feel the loud beating in his heart- he’s speechless.

Despite his jealousy, he feels happy for you. You're running a successful and beautiful cat cafe- you have everything you want and he wishes nothing but the best for you.

Even if you aren't in his arms, he thinks.

He focuses on the bold sign that hangs outside of the store: Ainu: Cat Cafe. His heart blooms with pleasure and precious memories flood his mind. When the two of you were lying in bed, hands intertwined. 

Dabi still remembers when he suggested that you should name the cat cafe after your mother and how you looked at him so tenderly- as if he wasn't a villain who had murdered millions and instead someone worthy of your love and attention- and kissed him like it was the last time. 

You've made him soft- he's a virile villain- and Dabi isn't sure if he'll ever get over you. Your time together has left a large and noticeable print over his heart.

You're smiling brightly and that's all Dabi needs to see. You're happy and safe- even if the price was breaking his heart and your own in the process. 

His gaze hardens as he diverts his attention from you- Dabi knows everything will go back to normal- without you. And for a second, a bitter smile graces his lips. You aren't his anymore, your love story was nothing but tragedy and pain but your endless love and support will always burn bright inside his tainted soul. 

soo,, what do you think? did i do dabi justice? have a good day!! xx 

[deceitfullyanxioussss]

Must Have Been the Wind

Hey guys! I kinda already posted this on my ao3 a few months ago and just realized I forgot to post it here as well so like, here you go I guess lmao

Summary: Remus goes back to his apartment and wants a nap after a bad day at work. Instead, he finds he is kept up by some very troubling sounds coming from the room above his.Remus decides he wants to help this stranger.

Song fic! Must Have Been the Wind - Alec Benjamin

CW: Cursing, and uh, Remus being Remus ig? Oh, and minor homophobic character (Lemme know if I need to add more)

Proof-read by @queroze, thank you again, even though this was a while ago lol

Remus let out a huff of breath, feeling his tense muscles relax as he practically melded into the couch. The plan was for him to catch a nice nap after his exhausting day at work.

   He was a barista at a coffee shop, which usually wasn’t too bad. He liked his job. Often, he even found it relaxing.

   However, there can be days that are just the exact opposite of relaxing.

   It seemed as though every customer he came across that day woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Oh, and don’t even get him started on the Karens. The Karens were nearly impossible to deal with.

   A frown slipped on his face, recounting the worst part of his day. There was a very verbal homophobe who came in today.

   Remus was very openly gay and always wore a pride pin on his apron next to his name. He had the unfortunate luck of having to take, and make his order. He probably had to stand there for a full 5 minutes, just listening to his lecture about how wrong gay sex is. Remus was able to shut him up by reminding him of the line behind him.

   It didn’t end there though.

   A lesbian couple walked in not long later, hand in hand. It didn’t take long for it to catch the attention of this man, who immediately jumped at the chance to pull another 500 slide PowerPoint out of his ass.

   The rest of his co-workers decided that he had to be ushered out of the shop. Nothing about getting him to leave was easy though, not in the slightest. He went out yelling and cursing the whole way.

    The two girls were very lovely though, they had a nice conversation about the upcoming pride event, and he was more than happy to give them both free refills on him.

    So he guessed the day wasn’t all bad, but it still seemed to drag him out as if he was dough under a roller, crunching off of his bones into powder and flattening all his veins against his skin.

     Yes, a nap seems like a good idea.

     Remus’s eyes fluttered closed, fatigue quickly overtaking his body.

   Just then, a sharp, yet muffled noise cut through the serenity of silence.

   Some barely-conscious part of his mind gained interest in this sound.

   What was that? It kind of sounded like glass.  It had murmured through its TV static atmosphere.

   The rest of his mind, nearly completely asleep, wordlessly communicated that it was probably nothing, and he should just focus on sleeping.

   That seemed to calm his brain enough to settle down.

There was a little sliver of his mind that wasn’t quite ready to let go of the sound yet, though. It kept listening, even if undetected by the rest of the brain. It seemed right to do so, as muffled sounds of yelling and sobbing registered through its cloudy state.

   It was then Remus blearily pried his eyelids open and sat up.

   The fuck?  Remus groaned internally, forcing his body into an acceptable sitting position. Confusion stuck onto his brain like wrinkled cling wrap as he tried to make any sense of the hazy world around him.

   A loud thud was heard from the floor above, followed by an emotionally drained cry.

   Remus grunted and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion.

   For maybe just a split second, his heart felt sympathy for the person, but he was just so tired. It’s not like it was his problem, right? He could just ignore it and go back to sleep.

   He flipped over on his side so his head faced the back of his sickly green couch and closed his eyes, trying his best to draw his attention away from the sounds upstairs.

   He must have laid there for a good while, trying and failing to push the sounds to the back of his head, his anxiety amping up little by little the longer the crying persisted.

   Eventually, Remus let out a loud, guttural sigh and stood up swiftly. He couldn’t just ignore them, he had to help.

   Making the decision, he walked towards his coat-rack and hastily tossed his jacket over his shoulders, bee-lining to the elevator.

   He silently curses the elevator for being so slow as he restlessly waited for the doors to push open, and when they do he wasted no time getting in and selecting floor 2.

   Remus usually enjoyed the tacky elevator music, but he found it only served to tick him off this time around. The music seemed to drag time out even slower and he was already so, so restless.

   Ding.

   With that, he stepped out and eagerly trodded down the hallways, stopping in front of the desired location. He raised a hand and knocked on the door with little hesitation, the anxious tapping of his foot echoed within the empty halls.

   Remus listened with rapt attention through the door, hearing as the person inside scrambled to make themself look even the slightest bit presentable.

   He waited impatiently, his gaze anxiously wandering around for some sort of distraction or stimulation. They landed on the grossly patterned navy blue carpet, look completed by the numerous stains that have accumulated over the years. Finding little interest there, he moved onto the walls. The dim, sparse lighting made the colour look like a shit brown. Impulsively, he reached to run his fingers along the many indents that found a home among the distasteful brown. The tactile stimulation instantly captured his focus, and he let the rough surface soothe him.

   Remus, too caught up in the stimulation, had forgotten his original purpose of being there. He startled back to reality upon hearing the soft click from the door. He immediately snapped his head back up, being met with a pair of mismatched eyes and a scarred face. This person was looking up at him with what he thought was supposed to be a confident expression. The effect was dampened by his pink-ish eyes, mussed hair, and the pastel yellow sweater he had hooked all the way up to his chin.

   Remus gave the other a small wave, just then realizing he had no game plan. Did he just… ask? Did he make small talk first? Should he invite him to his coffee shop for a drink and talk there?

   The other reciprocated the wave, smirking. “How may I help you, sir?” He asked politely

   Remus cleared his throat, deciding he should just be direct with this conversation. He was never really good at softening his approach anyway.

   “Hey, so, basically I heard something shatter and a lot of crying and yelling and I was kinda concerned about it, so I came to ask if you were ok.”

   The two men stared at each other for a few seconds before Remus spoke up again. “So, are you ok?”

   He heard the other snicker quietly, a gloved hand waving as if to dismiss the question. “Oh, my. That’s ridiculous. Your ears must be playing tricks on you, my dear.”

   Remus took notice of how he subtly buried his face deeper into the sweater.

   His attention was brought back up as the scarred man spoke again.

   “Thank you for caring, sir, it’s very kind of you, but I have some urgent work to get back to. I wish I could tell you about the noise, but I'm afraid I didn’t hear a thing.” He shook his head. “Perhaps it was merely a harsh gust of wind.” He suggested.

   Remus let out a quiet sigh, but nodded and accepted the answer.

   The two waved each other farewell as Remus trudged back to the elevator.

Remus had been laying down, back pressed hard against the cold concrete of the floor. The chill from beneath seeped in through his spine and into his chest, weighing him down heavily. He just couldn’t stop thinking about his upstairs neighbor.

   It had been hours since his last visit already, and the man upstairs was still pacing across his apartment, occasionally he would stop and silence would follow. The pacing always started back up though.

   Absent-mindedly, his hands fiddled with the necklace around his neck, running his fingers across the cool, smooth metal.

   He just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, and he wanted to help.

   Remus knew that he didn’t have all the facts, and he didn’t really want to intrude on the man’s life. There was a possibility that nothing was wrong, and he was  just imagining things. He didn’t want to pester his neighbor with his stupid, false worries.

   But what if something is wrong?   You saw his puffy eyes. You know you heard those sounds.  His mind kept telling him.  You can’t just leave him alone, can you?

   Remus nodded to himself and for the second time that day, stood and made his way back to the other’s door. More hesitantly this time, he knocked. His raps were slow and unsure as he swayed nervously from side-to-side.

   He heard the pacing stop, and he waited, his focus on nothing but his shoes this time around. Then he heard footsteps approach the door and he looked up just as the door swung open.

   He was met with the same mismatched eyes, messy hair, and sweater. He didn't forget to take note of the new eye bags and odor he’s sporting with him though.

   “Oh, it’s you again.” the nervousness of his neighbor's voice managed to carry through despite the fabric covering his mouth.

   Remus ran a hand through his hair and looked to the side. “Yeah.” he chuckled unsurely.

   “I just- I’m still worried,” he said, smile falling. “I know you said you were fine, but… I just felt the need to check again. It’s- those sounds- they’re not leaving me alone.” he tentatively looked up into the other’s eyes. “Are- Are you sure you’re ok?”

   Remus is pretty sure he saw the scarred side of his face twitch, probably in annoyance he’s sure. He knew it was a bad idea to come back up. He was always such a bother, even to his own family. What made him think a stranger would appreciate seeing his face twice in one day?

   “Yes.” the answer cut through Remus’s thoughts and redirected his attention. “I am absolutely positive that everything’s fine.” There was a hint of irritation that Remus desperately wished he didn’t hear.

   “Once again, thank you for caring, it’s very kind. Truly. But I really do have some urgent work to get back to. I wish I could help you with the noise, but I didn’t hear a thing. In fact, I’m almost certain it was just the wind. You need to stop worrying so much over such a trivial thing.”

   Remus’s body became hot with shame as he shrunk in on himself. He nodded at the man before he sluggishly made his way back.

The following morning, he didn’t even bother with breakfast. Immediately going over to slouch on his couch, he stared back up at the ceiling. It seemed to be a new favourite hobby of his apparently.

   He had a lot of time to think about the previous night, about his last interaction with the man upstairs.

    There was no way those sounds were from his imagination. He was in a groggy state when he heard the yelling, sure, but surely the pacing wasn't something his ears made up. Surely, the messy hair and puffy eyes weren't something his eyes made up.

   His mind carefully brought up the idea of confronting him again, but he quickly winced and scrapped the idea. The irritated voice of the other causing his gut to lurch in a nauseating way.

   He was most certainly not going to be looking him in the eyes for a good while now.

   He was starting to break through the surface though, right? Maybe he should just call it quits and admit that he can't help.

   He couldn't just go back up again, he didn't think he could take the ice-cold, biting irritation again.

   Remus sat, rolling the interactions over in his head. Whoever said anything about a letter?  A lightbulb sparked, setting an explosion through his body that jolted him up from his seat with a gasp.

   "A letter! That's so simple! I don't have to face him again, and he doesn't have to feel as much pressure! I'm a fucking genius!" He yelled, pumping his fists into the air with triumphant gusto.

He rushed over to his desk, brimming with excitement as he began to write.

   In Remus's very distinct, messily scrawled printing, he began:

   Sup Mr Scarface! (I haven't even thought to ask your name yet lmao)

   Listen up nerd! I  promise  I'm not playing tricks on you when I say this

   You’re  always  welcome to come in

   You could stay here for an hour or two if you ever need a friend. We can talk about the noise when you’re ready

   But… til then I’ll say it must have been the wind.

   Yours sincerely, annoying dude from yesterday ;)

   Remus let out a long, pleased sigh as he gave it a quick once-over. He saw many mistakes, but he gave them not even a second glance before he was already out of the door.

   He was going to deliver this letter and it was going to be wonderful!

Remus shucked his jacket off and onto his coat-rack upon returning from work the following day. It had been a pretty good day today. No awful homophobes, that's for sure.

   Turning his T.V. on for background noise, he moved over to his miniature kitchen. Distantly aware of a news reporter talking about some murder, he got started on his rice and gravy.

   Perhaps 10 minutes passed by when he heard a gentle rapping on the front door.

   Remus curiously strode over and opened his door, surprised to see the man from upstairs in front of him.

   "Oh, wow. Hey there, dude! Didn't expect to actually see ya this soon!" Remus exclaims.

   "I, uh, yeah…" the scarred man shifted in place for a few moments, burying his face into his sweater. "If the, uh, offer is still open, I’d love to have someone to talk to,” he mumbled through the thick fabric.

   Remus stood and processed the words for a few seconds before grinning widely.

   "Of course! Of course! Come on in, my man! Lunch will be done in a bit if you want some!”

   The other smiled and shyly slunk into his apartment

   "I’d love that.” He said. “Thank you.”

   "Not a problem at all! My name's Remus by the way!" He excitedly extended a hand for the other to shake.

   Said man looked at his hand for a moment or two before carefully clasping his own around it.

   Even more carefully, his shy voice spilled a simple name. "...Janus."

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse  don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

[singeramg]

Finding Forever: Chapter 1

Pairing: Henry Cavill/Black Original Character

Rating: Explict/ M/ Whatever...will be smut later on. 

Warnings: Cursing, eventual smut, some angst, more tags to come as we get into this. 

Summary: Aura Camilla an actress who has just landed her first lead role opposite Henry Cavill. This story follows her as she tries to navigate her fast developing feelings for her costar. 

A/N: Welcome everyone, so this is my first time attempting to write anything involving Henry Cavill, so y'all bare with me and be nice (Please) Also blame The Witcher for this sudden interest. . I hope you guys will like it and I promise it will get better as we go along. I don’t have any idea of how long this will be. I welcome comments and suggestions.

  Chapter 1: All this Love

“I have everything I need ummm....I think.”

I said to my best friend Mia who was laying across my bed, her hair a black/ white/grey ombré dreads that reached the middle of her back of her chestnut frame. She was mindless playing with one of the furry ivory pillows I had on my bed. 

“Well Aura considering you’ve packed and repacked that bag several times I highly doubt you forgot anything. Shit I’m quite sure you’ve packed the entirety of your room.”

She said with a smirk, then went back to scrolling on her phone. I laughed, flipping her off, and zipping my bag closed. 

“Are you ready to drive me to the airport?”

“The real question is are you ready to go?”

She said getting up from my bed and sliding into her shoes. 

“Come bring your ass on...”

I said with a laugh, hauling my suitcase off of bed and out of my room in our shared apartment...

 ⭐️*** 

To say I was nervous was an understatement. I had just checked into my room on location for the movie I had just landed. I had done some parts in television and movies, supporting characters. This would be the first time I played a lead, it was a romantic comedy. All set around a neurotic late 20 something named Anya Novak that spent her life doing everything for everyone else but never going after what she wants. Her job merges with another and in enters the new guy Carson Wyatt who rubs her the wrong way when they first meet and even more so when she figures out he is her new neighbor. 

I could handle the role, I was certain of that but I was nervous because I hadn’t met anyone from the cast yet. The filming schedule was coming off the heels of filming a big movie for not only the directors but for my co-star Henry Cavill. I had been surprised when they said he would be joining the cast as this type of movie didn’t seem like his type that he would be in. It had very little action and a lot of comedic timing. I was nervous that he and I would not get along at all and make this filming unbearable. We were due to start filming in a day or so but tonight we were set to all meet and have dinner. 

I unpacked my clothes and now found myself standing in front of my closet much like I would at home, except now I didn’t have Mia to help me choose. I would settle for FaceTime.

“ It’s Mia the Mua of your dreams.”

“Yeah my nightmares too. Best friend I need help and I need it fast. Cast dinner in two hours with no clue and what to put on out of all the shit you packed me to wear.”

“Where is the dinner?”

“ Small gastropub, nothing too fancy but I want to make a good impression.”

“Yeah maybe on that foine ass co-star of yours.”

“Mi let’s not go there.”

“You need to let him go there with your uptight ass. Been moving around here for months, working too hard with no play. Especially since Jamal.”

“Ugh, god you said the name. I thought we agreed that name was dead.”

“ I agreed not to beat his ass for that shit he pulled, but that’s all. Now onto what you called for. Dark wash jeans, white and black sheer top, black heels. Light on the makeup, soft curls on the hair.”

“Remind me again why you couldn’t come with me.”

“I might style you in my free time but unlike you my jetsetting darling I still have to deal with my lazy ass ultra extra Ulta manager. At least until you need me full time.”

“But I do this is the problem. I told you to get on the plane with me but no. You didn’t.”

“I’m working on it, you know my manager asked me to hold off on my leave until she came back from vacation. Look don’t worry about me I’ll be there is two weeks you can survive two weeks before I arrive,  just get dressed, go make some friends, and relax because I know you are freaking out and doing yourself a disservice. Remember our saying...”

“Beautiful is who you are not what you are.”

Mia and I repeated at the same time as we had since middle school. In a school where the people didn’t look like us with Mia’s cinnamon tone and my sienna color paired with braids and thick dark hair, didn’t make us popular in a world of blonde hair and blue eyes. We made due as we got older, at 25 we kept that motto as a reminder to love ourselves no matter what.

“Aura go out there and make those people love as much as I do.” 

I sniffed back a few tears and felt grateful for the type of friend I had.

“Thank you Mia.”

“Always. Now I gotta go. I was supposed to be at work ten minutes ago.”

We laughed and hung up...

⭐️Later

I dressed in what Mia said to put on, stepping from the cab, grateful for us filming in the springtime in Canada, despite the nighttime, the air was moderate. The restaurant was lit in a dim light but bright enough to see the faces. I stepped in and the hostess upon hearing the name of the party I was with smile brightened up and walked me to a secluded room to the back of the restaurant. As soon as I entered the directors Marshall and Anne a married couple for whom this was a passion project. We instantly clicked during my audition and subsequent talking they were really nice to me.

“Aura! I’m glad you made it!”

Anne said standing and pulling me into hug, Marshall following shortly after. 

“Yes please come in, have a seat. There’s an open seat left next to Henry.”

I smiled and looked to the room where all the men stood on my arrival as custom dictated, and my eyes landed on the 6’1 dark haired gentleman I had been anxious to meet. Marshall walked me to the other side of the table where Henry was standing.

“Henry meet your co-star Aura Camilla. Aura please meet Henry Cavill.”

He had a look on his face that I honestly couldn’t place, but once Marshall made introductions a wide grin broke across his face, and he offered a hand out to me. I took it and we shook, with him seeming to stare at my face my hazel eyes locking with his blue. 

“Pleasure to meet you Henry. Big fan of your work.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well Aura. I’m excited to be working with you as well.”

It was then that I guess he realized he was still holding my hand and he let go quickly only to pull out my chair, nervously, actually tripping over the edge of the chair slightly but not falling. The cool persona he had to world, out the window for a split moment, but that was okay because I liked it...

*The next day* 

I was sitting in the make-up artist chair, as they worked to make me look as scripted for our first scene. I was going over my lines when I heard the door to the trailer opened and closed, the next to me groaning under the new weight in it. I smiled when I realized who was now occupying the chair.

“Good morning Aura. Sleep well I hope?”

Henry looked fresh, wearing sweatpants and a black zipped-up hoodie. No product in his hair, and freshly shaved as opposed to the light stubble he sported yesterday night. Honestly we got along really well, which was a relief in terms of working. We actually vibed during our talking last night. He was a breath of fresh air in this industry to have a conversation with a man who wasn’t talking to my boobs.  We just laughed and joked most of the night, leaving off with him agreeing to help me out in the gym, I also think I left feeling like my soft admiration for a man I didn’t know to a man I kinda knew to a real world potential crush that could crush me and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.

So now here I was sitting next to a man that I was attracted to. I could smell the trouble brewing.

“Yes, I did. It’s always a little difficult getting used to sleeping in a bed that’s not my own.”

“I have the same problem. Takes me a few days to adjust to the time change and a different bed. I am usually up all night until then despite being tired from a long day. I find that working out helps me get back on track, if not watch some television.”

“Yeah I’m more the type to watch TV or a movie and I’m out like a light. Thank god we don’t have a super early call time for the first couple of weeks.” 

“You ready to go out there and hate my guts on screen?”

“Sure, as long as you are ready to hate mine.”

“I am going to have to put my acting skills to the test. This would be easier if you were a horrible person.”

“Excuse me for not being a drag on your life Cavill. I think this would be easier for me too if you hadn’t endeared me to your dog and told me about your terrible bullying experience. I can’t actually hate you now.”

We laughed along with those in the trailer and as I was ushered into wardrobe I had to cut off those butterflies in my stomach and focus on doing my job....

A/n: So tell me what you think? If you want to read more let me know. Thank you for taking the time to read this little piece of crap I managed lol

[cursebreaker-lilith]

A chart featuring Lili’s relationships to the canon characters! ....minus Badeea, Diego, and Chiara because I ran out of room and also bc they’re the characters in my ‘I can’t decide if I want them to be proper love interests or not’ club and uh idk how to put that on there lol

Color guide and relationship explanations beneath the cut!

color guide:

light green = friends

dark green = best friends

teal = familial relationship

dark yellow = acquaintances

light yellow = former friends

purple =  doesn’t trust/allies and not friends (and one place where it’s dark blue whoops)

red = crush

pink = former crush/thought it was a crush

Lili + Rowan: Best friends!!! Almost co-dependent to an unhealthy degree....

Lili + Barnaby: Lili’s best friend after Rowan!! Super affectionate to each other! Ultimate platonic friends (once Barnaby realized that feeling he felt was just friendship and not romantic feelings...)!

Lili + Ben: Probably the most complicated relationship here. She befriended him out of pity and continued their friendship because of his skill at Charms. He’s had a crush on her since they were 11 and she stood up for him which no one had ever done before. Then the Red Robed Wizard Reveal tm happened and Lili dropped him and ignored him, though he tried to make it up to her. 6th year ony drives a deeper wedge between them as Lili can’t stand his recent behaviour.

Rowan + Ben: Rowan actually had a mild crush on him in 2nd-4th year and they went to the Celestial Ball together, but then the Reveal and that crush went woosh and she ignored him alongside Lili. Ben never liked her romantically and went with her because Lili said he should.

Lili + Penny: Close friends and each other’s crushes for years. Crushes ended in 5th year when both were kinda jerks to everyone around them. Remained good friends.

Lili + Talbott: Get paired together on a project and both are majorly disgruntled by it but grow closer. Briefly date in 6th year, but Talbott freaks out at it ‘going too fast’ and they stick to being friends.

Lili + Bill: The big brother Jacob should’ve been to Lili tbh

Lili + Charlie: At first she only knew him kinda vaguely, but she’s come to really enjoy his presence and goes to him when she needs to be low key.

Bill + Charlie: Brothers! Love each other lots, though they don’t necessarily always understand each other and Charlie has a lot of Feelings tm about trying to fill Perfect Brother Bill’s shoes.

Bonus Ben + Charlie: bc wow how could I have forgotten to add their relationship here I think about it constantly. Ben was bullied for being scared all the time, and even though he was a Quidditch star no one really hung out with Charlie because of his dragons obsession and people saw him as a weirdo, so the two became close over being sorta social rejects in Gryffindor. At the end of 4th year, Charlie was really conflicted over what happened and Ben is Ben and accepted the idea that no one wanted him around. They made up at the beginning of 5th year, though it was a colder relationship than before.

Lili + Jae: Lili likes Jae and finds him useful and hilarious and she doesn’t trust him as far as she can throw him. In a better world, they’d probably be closer friends.

Lili + Tulip: After finding out that Tulip had purposefully not told her about Jacob’s room, Lili instantly decided she was an undesirable but necessary ally. Lili does not like Tulip and will likely never change her opinion because she’s really pissed that someone would keep her brother’s things from her. Lili will talk to her about the Cursed Vaults, but they do not hang out and Lili does not consider her a friend. This really, really hurts Tulip’s feelings but Lili doesn’t really care. In a better world without the Vaults, they’d probably get along smashingly as while Lili isn’t a prankster, she has no problem being an instigator to pranks.

Lili + Merula: Hate each other’s guts for a while. Then Lili gave up her Frog Choir spot and Merula gained a small crush (even if Lili was a total ass about it). While they’ll never be friends, by the time of 5th and 6th year they’ve become reluctant allies similar to Lili and Tulip above. Lili will probably never totally befriend her, but she’s learned to be civil and that’s progress.

Lili + Ismelda: Lili doesn’t really like Ismelda but she considers her all bark and no bite. Ismelda hates Lili because she thinks Lili and Barnaby are gonna end up dating and is jealous.

Tulip + Merula: Former best friends turned rivals turned allies.

Merula + Ismelda and Barnaby: Merula doesn’t consider them friends so much as allies and henchmen. On the flip side, they DO consider Merula their friend and are hurt whenever she treats them awfully.

Barnaby + Ismelda: Barnaby still considers Ismelda a friend even if they don’t talk much. Ismelda still has a huge crush on him.

Lili + Tonks: Tonks is a fun person and Lili really likes her, but similar to Jae she does not trust her in the slightest. Tonks is good for when Lili wants to feel like a normal kid.

Lili + Liz: Friend of a friend. Lili is good friends with Barnaby and Charlie. Liz is also good friends with them. The four of them have hung out together. That is the extent of their friendship.

Lili + Skye and Orion: Lili is not on the Quidditch team, but both Rowan and Barnaby are so she knows them by association. She finds Orion hilarious and chill, and Skye has great hair but is too much a dumb and rude jock for Lili.

Lili + Andre and Murphy: Yeah, I coudln’t think of a way to bring them in so these two are in the black box of ‘Lili doesn’t know em.’

and then for the ones i couldn’t fit in lol

Lili + Diego: They met in Dueling club (which Lili was only briefly allowed to join) and Lili found his flirting hilarious. He’s with Tonks in that he’s someone Lili goes to to feel normal. They went on a date once, but only one date.

Lili + Badeea: It usually takes a while to warm up to people, but Lili immediately liked Badeea. She respects her talent as an artist (Lili can do hand crafts but painting escapes her) and Lili is actually pretty good at astronomy (she doesn’t like it being so late at night--she likes her beauty sleep) and finds Badeea talking about it fascinating.

Lili + Chiara: Chiara has always been a vague acquaintance, and they only really got to know each other in 3rd year when they became partners in Herbology. Lili finds Chiara’s capacity for kindness awe-inspiring.