#Coming of the Civil War?
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ahhh? another book on Charles Sumner ???? brb crying about the $32, but it’s hard cover and 464 pages,,,
you know I’m pre-ordering it to add to my hoard of books I have yet to read :,))
#sul posts#charles sumner#I have a couple books that he’s in#but it’s mostly about the caning and Preston brooks#there is that one tho#Coming of the Civil War?#by David Donald#love that one
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"If voting changed anything they wouldn't let people do it-" grabs your face THEY DIDN'T JUST "LET" PEOPLE DO IT, MOST PEOPLE COULDN'T VOTE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. PEOPLE OF COLOR ONLY GOT THE FULL RIGHT TO VOTE 50 YEARS AGO IN THE US, THATS BARELY A GENERATION.
IF IT DIDNT MATTER AT ALL WHY WOULD THEY SPEND SO MUCH TIME GERRYMANDERING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYWHERE?? WHY CAN'T FELONS VOTE?? WHY CANT PUERTO RICO VOTE? WHY DO THEY KEEP SWITCHING DATES AND LAWS AND TIMES AND WHATEVER THEY POSSIBLY CAN TO STOP PEOPLE FROM VOTING?? WHY DO THEY MAKE EFFORT AT ALL??
BEING DISILLUSIONED IS A REASONABLE RESPONSE. BUT PEOPLE FOUGHT AND DIED AND ARE STILL FUCKING DYING FOR THAT RIGHT, DONT SPIT IN THEIR FACE.
#god i hate seeing that fucking pop up#YES the system is fucked YES we need revolution or reform to the point of it being unrecognizable#but we dont HAVE THAT right now#but DONT COME IN AND TAKE WHAT WE DO HAVE FOR GRANTED IT WAS WRITTEN IN BLOOD#IM SO SICK OF THIS LIKE GUYS...WHY WOULD THEY MAKE THIS MUCH EFFORT...WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED POST CIVIL WAR??#voting#elections
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Bucky Barnes // The Winter Soldier Captain America: Civil War (2016)
the way he looks at steve (part 1, part 2, part 3)
(steve vers.)
#dailymarvelgifs#dailymarveledits#buckybarnesedit#bucky barnes#captain america#captain america: civil war#cacw#my gifs#sebastian stan#me: trying to make these gifs#the three lines on sebastian stans forehead: 👁️👁️#in case you dont remember the bottom left one is when steve and tony are watching footage of bucky killing tonys family <3#we love the drama we love the heartbreak we love the terrible fear in buckys eyes#worried about tonys reaction but no doubt worried about steves as well#if the footage is gonna make steve feel or think about him differently#we love it we love to see it#i will come back to these later when i need to#for reasons#anyways im posting these at a weird time and all of these moments have been giffed to death already#but i had to do it myself. i had to spend several hours staring at these men being vaguely gay in each others direction#to Heal. you know how it is
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Speaking of your new and improved canon: what is the story behind Tony being somewhat chill with Bucky? Is he actually?
started writing LoF when i was being nostalgic for 2012 where the Avengers Tower fics were at its height of writing so in my world there is no divorce arc. I have no idea how to elaborate on that other than Tony having Peter around changed shit up because having a kid changes your world perspective a lot
#in other words#i didn't expect LoF to get this big#and it wasn't going to be posted but really just shared with alighterwood when i first wrote it#so i didn't expect to have to come up with a reason#just like how in the DC world the Bats are in a state where they're not fighting and Bruce isn't written like an asshole#our Marvel buddies got the same treatment#i have avoided going into depth about why the Avengers are still chill with each other because i just wanted to write them being happy#decidedly hard to be happy if i write the civil war arc#maybe one day i'll have an in universe reason but this is the actual one#it's probably a plot hole but it's a harmless one so we just put a slab of wood over it and say “yeehaw brother i reckon that's right”#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#thank you for the ask!#leap of faith catch me if you can
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BUCKY BARNES AS A GIRL DAD - a drabble
Everyone stop what you're doing and imagine Bucky Barnes as a girl dad.
When you first tell him that you're pregnant he's shocked because of all the experiments HYDRA did on him he thought he couldn't have kids
Then he's shocked because he realizes he's going to be a dad. He. A killer, the man who killed thousands of people.
He's terrified by the thought of not being a good dad so you have to convince him he's going to be a great dad because he's not the winter soldier anymore, he's just Bucky. The love of your life.
Starts studying pregnancy books like he has an exam on them. believe me when I say that this man could have a degree by the end of the nine months.
Baby Shower. He really didn't care if the baby in your belly was a boy or a girl but when he saw the pink cream inside the cake he felt his heart skip a beat. A little girl, oh how much he hoped for her to look just like you.
Built the nursery from scratch, painted it al pink with little stars on the ceiling.
I think he would like the name Estelle and if you'd agree that would be the little girl's name.
When you go into labour this man freaks out, he has seen lots of things in his life but seeing you in pain while giving birth made him feel guilty for putting a baby in you.
When he holds her for the first time he's scared to hurt her, maybe his metallic arm is too hard for her little head to rest on? Is his metallic hand too cold on her little face?
He's completely smitten by her, she's not even two days old when she has him wrapped around her little chubby fingers.
When he noticed that she has his blue eyes he was on the verge of crying.
How could a monster like him make such a perfect little angel?
As soon as Estelle starts babbling he has his phone out to record everything. He just wants to remember those little moments forever.
When she starts walking and can actually play he spends his days playing with her: with a ball, with dolls, with the toy kitchen, with her on his shoulders.
When Estelle says 'Dada' for the first time this man is in tears repeating 'my baby girl called me dada, I'm her dada..."
Once she can talk she gives nicknames to everyone, Steve is Uncle Cap, Sam is Uncle Birdie, Tony is Uncle Iron, Natasha is Aunt red (because of her hair).
Bucky totally plays princess tea party with her, in a tutu and with a full face of toy make up.
"Uncle Cap and Uncle Birdie, come play tea with me and Daddy!" Estelle would say.
Steve would agree immediately while Sam needed an harsh look from Bucky.
First day of kindergarten? Estelle is happily going inside the new classroom, happy to make new friends while Bucky is in tears.
"She didn't give me a goodbye kiss..."
She wants to take dance lessons? They're paid.
She wants to swim? He's already on his way to buy a swimsuit.
Bucky would let her choose the sport she wants but she has to take self defense lessons too, maybe taught by Natasha.
The first boy that breaks her heart has a broken arm and probably some trauma. (I'm joking...am I?)
Estelle is pretty free to go out but she has to tell him in advance just to let him know.
When she leaves for college he helps her move out and tells her to kick a boy between the legs if they treat her bad. Or simply give a call to him and he would run to her.
Probably with Steve right behind him.
Damn this was long, sorry but I love soft Bucky, my man deceivers happiness after everything he went through :(
Would you like me to do this but with the other Avengers / x-Men? You can also make requests if you want!
Check out my masterlist! <3
#drabble#amethyst arachnid#comics#marvel#marvel fanfiction#marvel x reader#x reader#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky fanfic#winter soldier#james buchanan barnes#catws#captain america civil war#soft bucky#drabble requests#movies#fluff#thanks for coming to my ted talk#Bucky is my baby#i love this man#god i love him#this man#look at him#i love him so much#hes so pretty#sebastian stan#girl dad#avengers fanfiction
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house md wildest show on earth. a main character outright assassinates a known dictator, a moment that would be the very beginning or the mid-series crisis in any other show - an act which creates a power vacuum in a foreign nation already filled with child soldiers and genocide, and it's literally only brought up again throughout the season because that guy's wife divorces him over it. and occasionally to explore his relationship with who he is as a person and a catholic after having deliberately taken a life for what he calculates as the greater good, but mostly it's about his divorce
#i no longer think wilson is the most divorced guy ever#sure he's been divorced more TIMES than chase#but the things he's been divorced OVER are way more normal#it is so nuts like . chase. bobbie. rob. bobert. what happened next. in the country i mean#like the president is dead. does his regime crack down extra hard on the ethnic cleansing?#does the power vacuum give the opposition a chance to step in?#how much of what the president said about the people he's wiping out having been in a similar dictatorship in the past is true?#does the nation descend into civil war? is the president's death the excuse the us or england or whoever is waiting for to step in#and assume ad hoc governance thus destabilizing the region even more?#all because one guy in one hospital decided the math was in favor of his killing a guy if that guy was going to order more killings?#absolutely NEVER explored. yeah do no harm and the morals we share with our partners are important#but christ alive. the aftermath of the assassination could be a whole show in and of itself and im pretty sure it just never comes up#house is a show#house md#q
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Hey, am I the only one who does not like the idea of Luke's new Jedi order allowing romantic relationships, marriage and having kids?
Like, George Lucas even said that the reason he did not give Luke a love interest in the end was because Jedi do not marry? And he even gave us a clear example of what happens with that in the Prequels?
I just don't understand this whole "Luke's Order was better because people could finally love" or "That's why the old Order fell"
Yeah sure buddy, they ceartenly did not fell because they had a freaking Sith Lord as head of the Republic who orchestrated one of the greatest evil plans the galaxy had ever seen, no no no, they fell because they didn't let Jedi to marry. sure.
The Order had the rule of non attachments for 25,000 years, and it's a rule that makes sense, we even saw what happens when Jedi form attachments and are unable to let go.
So I don't understand how a new Order without this rule would be better than one that survived for that long with it.
#I know that this idea comes from Legends#and it's one of the reasons why I won't read anything related to the New Order there#but I think it also comes from the idea that if you're not in a relationship you're incomplete#there are people who cannot comprehend others being happy without a partner#and so they try to always give one to characters that just do not need that#please if you want to start a discussion be civil#every insult will be blocked immeadiatly#luke skywalker#pro jedi#jedi order#jedi philosophy#star wars#jedi love#jedi#new jedi order
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And I saw another beast come up out of the earth...and he spake as a dragon. (Revelation 13:11)
.
The Coronation of His Majesty King Bastian I - The Hour of Wolves
When he was born he was a small thing. A screaming infant, a second son, destined perhaps for military greatness, but never dukedom. Never inheritance. Never conquest.
But at the inception of the light, the birth of the world, the moment between silence and splendor when The Glory breathed across the scope of creation: he was no small thing then.
Even then, he was coming.
His rise runs with blood: knives in the back, poison, betrayal, kidnapping and vengeance.
His rise burns with greatness: glory, family, rescue, love and ferocity.
The secret world recognized him before he knew himself. A fairy witch marked his passing and offered her slender wrist for his talons. A dead sun opens its mouth for him, a vanished Christ is his counterpart, a death knight worships before him, a raven-haired little girl holds the hand of her doting and beloved father.
The world we know calls him king of France, the monarch of a seized throne, a general who has promised the great lords England on its knees.
The Devil, in his own tongue, may call him son. The Glory has said nothing.
Would you know him if you saw him? Would you recognize what he is?
Bow, while you consider, and kiss his ring. There is a crown of flame upon his brow.
#MY SHITTY LITTLE GUY IS KING OF FRANCE BABY#local worst man you have ever met receives ancient crown of charlemagne in a coup with the help of his previously-despised elder brother#god help every last person who stands in his way#he made sure the warring princes locked in civil war were Dealt With (one dead one ~conveniently misplaced~) and stood in paris#before every lord in france with the burgundian army behind him and basically dared them to tell him no#he's a big money no whammies guy so he's promised them england's total surrender within fifteen years#or he'll abdicate#he's here for a legendary time AND a long time#if he can pull this off#(lisbet has received a boon and vision from the sunflower king and invented cannon several decades early so)#(london may be in the hands of the french sooner than we think)#(but then as many would-be conquerors find - you then have the horrors of northern england to deal with)#godspeed you lunatic#I have literally never been more pleased and proud of a fictional creation of mine in my life#he's come so far and also aria and I have made something really incredible#stay tuned friends#he's only going to get worse#heretic
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Pick Your Favorite Sad Boi, Daniel Brühl Edition:
Nikolas Koll, Der Pakt - Wenn Kinder Töten (1996)
Checo, Paradise Mall / Schlaraffenland (1999)
Markus Baasweiler, Schule (2000)
Marek, Honolulu (2001)
Daniel, No Regrets / Nichts Bereuen (2001)
Marko Stemper, Elephant Heart / Elefantenherz (2002)
Arbo, Vaya Con Dios (2002)
Alexander Kerner, Good Bye, Lenin! (2003)
Paul Krantz, Love in Thoughts / Was nützt die Liebe in Gedanken (2004)
Jan, The Edukators / Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei (2004)
Andrea Marowski, Ladies in Lavender (2004)
Karl, A Friend of Mine (2006)
Tonda, Krabat (2008)
Dirk, All Together (2011)
Dr. Georg Rosen, John Rabe (2009)
Hans Krämer, The Coming Days / Die kommenden Tage (2010)
Álex Garel, Eva (2011)
Niki Lauda, Rush (2013)
Daniel Domscheit-Berg, The Fifth Estate (2013)
Thomas Lang, The Face of an Angel (2014)
Daniel, Colonia (2015)
Sebastian Zöllner, Me and Kaminski (2015)
Tony Balerdi, Burnt (2015)
Escherich, Alone in Berlin (2016)
Helmut Zemo, Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Dr. Laszlo Kreizler, The Alienist (2018 - 2020)
Ernst Schmidt, The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)
Thomas Fischer, My Zoe (2019)
Daniel Weltz, Next Door / Nebenan (2021)
#daniel brühl#good bye lenin!#alexander kerner#the edukators#baron zemo#captain america civil war#me and kaminski#Sebastian Zöllner#no regrets#the alienist#laszlo kreizler#love in thoughts#Ladies in Lavender#Andrea Marowski#Krabat#John Rabe#The Coming Days#colonia#nebenan#rush#niki lauda#the face of an angel#tony balerdi#burnt#vaya con dios#schule#honolulu#elephant heart#der pakt
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I will never get why people act like Tony attacking Steve and Bucky after finding out the truth of his parents death isn’t a valid reaction. It’s not a good reaction, it’s not a healthy one, but bro just watched probably the worst thing he’s ever seen in his life, found out his friend kept the truth from him, AND his moms killer is in the room with him like yeah I’d not be very calm either
Anyways this is Tony:
#it is a valid reaction#not the right one but come on that’s his mom#tony stark#avengers#marvel#iron man#bucky barnes#captain america civil war#malcolm in the middle
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#bro ive been saving the civil war one since the trailer came out hfdkjhgldkj im so lmaodshkj#AND the mew one too i was like u know what he is going to go batshit and this WILL come in handy and IT DID. god is good<3#slay and what not !#ofts#my edits#only friends series#only friends#only friends the series#ofts squad#nickboston#bostonnick#boston x nick#nick x boston#topmew#mew x top#top x mew#mewtop#bostonmew#boston x mew
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You know what I need? I need the Marvel time-travel trope, but everyone goes back to the 40s.
(I say everyone, I mean the Avengers pre-Infinity War.)
Because everyone says Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are men out of time (and they’re not technically wrong). But I want to see the Avengers (sans Steve and Bucky) getting sent back in time by some wizard or a freak Asgardian lightning storm or something, and poof, they’re back in the 40s, right smack in the middle of the war.
I want the Avengers to witness what life was like during the war, hiding in bomb shelters and seeing the after effects of the world crawling out of the Great Depression and hurtling into the second World War in twenty years.
Life when Steve really was the weirdest thing science ever created. When he was desperately needed and internationally adored. Because all of the Avengers have PTSD, but Steve and Bucky went through World War II and got spit back out into the 20th and 21st centuries, and that’s a whole different category of PTSD and trauma.
I want the Avengers to actually meet the survivors of Azzano, when Steve marched into the massive Nazi base and saved hundreds of soldiers, part because he could and part because he was desperate to save his best friend, and didn’t think twice about it.
I want the Avengers to see Steve and Bucky thrive. I want them to witness Steve and Bucky with the Howling Commandos. Steve’s first team. I want them to see how Steve and Bucky lived, what life was like, because it was drastically different than the modern world.
I want the Avengers to witness firsthand life on a military base. I want Tony to have to look his father in the eye and pretend he doesn’t know who he is, but get to see all the good his father did because all he remembers is his father being an asshole. How much Steve really did care about Howard (and that Bucky did, too, because Howard made weapons to keep Steve safe).
I want Natasha to see that just because she’s an assassin doesn’t mean she’s a bad person, because there were hundreds of military assassins and spies during the war that did bad things to get information.
I want them to hear about the Tesseract and learn that sometimes Steve’s intelligence should be taken seriously, because he has experience and knowledge that none of the other Avengers will ever have. (“You should have left it in the water.” “This is the guy my dad never shut up about?”)
I want them to see how much Steve loved Peggy, how she and Bucky were the only ones who saw him for who he really was, and realize how awful it must have been for him to come back and work for the organization she created after his death and have to live without her.
I want them to hide and watch as Past Steve screams as Past Bucky falls from the train. I want them to see Past Steve realize he can’t get drunk, and the only way he can cope is to kill the Red Skull and end HYDRA. To avenge his friend. I want them to realize that not only did Past Steve crash the plane for nothing, but that Steve knows, has to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life.
I want them to listen with Peggy as Past Steve realizes he’s going to have to crash the plane. I want them to hear the slight tremble in Past Steve’s voice as he talks about dancing with Peggy, believing he’ll never get the chance, and that he’s going to die alone in the freezing cold ocean. I want them to not get the change to promise him that he’ll survive. I want them to hear the sudden static that cuts off Past Steve’s voice, and the heavy silence that comes after it.
I want them to see the world mourn for Captain America, who died just months before the war ended.
And then I want them to come back to the 21st century and see. I want them to see the way Steve’s eyes linger on pictures of Peggy and Howard, see the rows of records from the 30s and 40s in a whole new light, see rows of 30s-style clothes in his closet that he hardly ever wears because a lot of people will make jabs about it, see the way he always keeps Bucky in his sight, hugs him just a little bit tighter than he hugs everyone else.
I want them to see the bags under his and Bucky’s eyes when they have nightmares. I want Sam to quietly show them Steve’s list, and see that every line on every page is filled because he missed so much. I want them to find two more little books filled up just as much. I want them to realize how lost Steve still is despite how much he’s adapted.
I want them to see the subtle military training still ingrained in Steve’s bones, because any and every war was horrible, but World War II was something else entirely, and so was desperation that existed within the soldiers and the people. I want them to see Steve’s recklessness of jumping out of planes without a parachute, the way his eyes always scan the area when he enters a room, watching ever little detail and listening for any sound that might indicate danger. How he is always, always, on alert, even when he seems relaxed.
I want them to understand why Steve was so against the Sokovia Accords. It wasn’t because he wanted the power to do what he thought was best; it was because he was afraid of the consequences of having too many restrictions. Because even with international laws and the damn Geneva Convention, the Nazis still destroyed half the world, and decades later Nazi HYDRA was still carrying out their mission that Steve sacrificed his life for. Steve was a human experiment. The Serum was a biochemical weapon. The military broke the rules to protect the greater good, and Steve knew that. The war would have gone very differently without him.
Whether he was right or wrong about the Accords, after what Steve experienced, I want the Avengers finally understand where he was coming from. Why he was so afraid of strict regulations.
I want Tony to finally fully understand the significance of Steve giving up his shield in Siberia.
Why he was so determined to protect Bucky from the world. Not just because he was his best friend, or because it was the right thing to do. But also because Bucky was the only thing Steve physically had left of his life before the crash, save for his dog tags, and he was scared of what that would mean if Steve lost him.
Steve Rogers has so much trauma that Marvel completely ignored. They focused on Tony’s and Bucky’s and Natasha’s trauma; and that’s great, that’s important; but so much of Steve’s moral character doesn’t get explained because it gets glossed over with the excuse that he’s “Mr Good and Righteous.” And that’s true, but that’s just scratching the surface.
He’s Mr. Good and Righteous for a reason, and it doesn’t get talked about enough.
#steve rogers#the avengers#marvel#mcu#bucky barnes#don’t come at me steve did crappy things during civil war#but so did everyone else#it’s about time marvel start recognizing Steve’s trauma is so much more than PTSD#that’s my point here
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Tiktok has exposed me to an unpleasant side of people (mostly dudebros womp womp) saying that in civil war Steve should've chosen & sided with tony??? Are you out of your fucking mind...... why in the fuck would he choose tony over bucky?
"Team tony, Bucky literally killed his parents, I'd be mad too."
WHY ARE Y'ALL JUST ALWAYS FUCKING LEAVING OUT THE FACT THAT BUCKY WAS SUBJECTED TO BRAINWASHING AND CONSTANT TORTURE FOR SEVENTY FUCKING YEARS??!?!??? WHY??!?!???
Bucky is a VICTIM.
Bucky is the only family Steve had left. They literally tell each other "'til the end of the line." That's his FAMILY. Of fucking course he'd be loyal to his best friend from day 1.
#rant induced by coming across a comment section FILLED w ppl bashing steve & bucky in civil war#they were bashing bucky especially like what the fuck????#if bucky has zero defenders then i am dead#stucky
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“I still hate you,” Tony mutters, voice shaky and entirely unconvinced while his hand expertly unbuckles the clasps of the uniform he designed so carefully, months and months and months ago.
“I know,” Steve responds gruffly. His beard scratches Tony’s jaw as those perfect teeth run down the thin skin of his neck, trace his jugular. His hands are rough iron clamps against each side of Tony’s beautifully tailored Versace two-piece. The fabric will be ruined beyond repair in less than ten minutes - Tony could bet his fortune on it.
They’ve played this stupid game before. Every time, Tony swears it’ll be the last.
Steve hitches him up onto the kitchen counter of the ridiculous New Jersey safehouse, and Tony goes willingly, yanking Steve into the open spread of his legs. This is the closest Steve’s gotten to New York since he first read those damned accords. The closest he can get to home is some 1965-styled kitchenette with pictures of old-timey adverts lining the walls and a microwave that’d probably irradiate you if you went near it.
It’s wrong- all of it. But there’s no changing it. Steve made his choice long ago, and Tony hates him for it. He should remember that. He should tell Steve that again.
“Fuck, God, Steve,” is what comes out instead, breathed against the other man’s mouth. Tony’s whole body is hot, taught, desperate, and he tugs the top half of Steve’s uniform off his torso. Steve spray painted over the colours- the whole thing is dark now, void of any trace of what it used to be. Tony hates that too.
“Tony,” Steve says, like there’s more to it- a name at the beginning of a sentence which never comes out. He clasps his teeth over Tony’s bottom lip, pushes his hands under Tony’s rapidly-wrinkling shirt and brushes his thumbs over each nipple, rubbing quick circles. The movement pulls another noise from Tony’s throat.
Fuck- the man knows him.
Steve steadies himself for a moment to catch his breath, nose brushing against Tony’s. Tony tries not to look into his eyes, whenever they do this. He’s never been good at seeing Steve’s soul - the one he never tries to hide, to mask. He’s not like Tony, you see. Everything he does, he does earnestly and from the heart.
The decision he made to leave with Bucky - to keep the culprit of Tony’s parents’ deaths a secret from him - they’d both come from that same heart. Hence, no eye contact. Tony has no desire to see how truly insignificant the space he takes up in Steve’s soul was.
Except now.
He does it without meaning to- just catching sight of those infuriating baby blues as he leans in for another messy kiss. Error number 1.
Error number 2 is not shutting his damn eyes and grabbing Steve’s dick like he normally does.
And error number 3 is the worst. Error number 3 is when he catches sight of Steve’s suddenly agonised expression, doesn’t ignore it, and instead asks “what?” Thus inviting conversation. They don’t come here for that. They come here to fuck eachother’s brains out for a night and then keep playing their cat-and-mouse chase across the globe as if anyone in a position of authority actually fucking believes it.
Steve goes perfectly still for a moment. Then he swallows. “This… this really makes you miserable, doesn’t it.”
He doesn’t frame it like a question.
Tony looks up at him, breathing hard. “Oh, I’m sorry I’m not looking ecstatic while getting groped by my ex boyfriend in a place that’s decked out like a prop house in a nuclear testing site. Would you prefer for me to giggle jovially while you fuck me amongst the dust and cobwebs?”
They’d used to have sex that was so full of love. This is how Tony always talks to Steve, now.
Steve shakes his head, a minute, grieving little thing. Tony feels the man’s breath skating across his face- feels the warmth of his bare chest, his shoulders, pressing against Tony.
“I thought…” he begins, then trails off for a moment as Tony skirts his hands down his chest, unlatches his belt. “I thought this made you happy. At least a little bit, even if you didn’t admit it. But it doesn’t. ”
Of course it doesn’t. But it’s all I have left of you.
“You think I’m coming here to find happiness? Jesus Steve. I’m coming here for tension relief,” Tony says, because he just can’t be truthful- he did his best when they were together, he really did, and it all failed anyway. Besides: Steve was never as truthful as Tony had always so fervently believed him to be either. “How about we both just stop talking and get down to that part.”
He gets his hands all the way to Steve’s boxers before Steve stops him- a gentle yet utterly unmoving grip. When Tony looks up at him again, Steve shakes his head. He’s grey in the face- if Tony didn’t know better now, he’d even say heartbroken.
“Tony, I…” Steve’s struggling for the words and he looks so beautiful, so so beautiful, just the same as the very first time Tony laid eyes on his photograph in the SHIELD folder he’d hacked his way into. “I didn’t realise you felt that way. Or maybe I did, but just didn’t want to acknowledge it because I was selfish.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I can’t do this with you. To you.” Steve steps away jerkily, half his body lagging while the other half pulls, as if warring with his own system. His pale skin is patchy, covered in faint marks where Tony has grabbed him. “I thought we were both doing this for enjoyment, but you’re not, and so I can’t. It’s cruel.”
Tony realises what Steve is implying here. His heart - what’s left of the poor thing anyway - convulses in panic, and he stumbles off the counter. “I’m not a fucking dog,” he snaps, “I make my own choices.”
“You don’t even look at me,” Steve’s voice breaks then. “I wished more than anything that you’d look at me. But I just saw it, then, when you did.”
“Saw what?”
They’re facing off against one another now - it’s like they can’t stop themselves. They have to be on either side of the argument, they can never just agree, no matter how hard they both want to. Tony hates and hates and hates.
“Your eyes don’t lie to me, Tony.” Steve’s voice is soft, and he says it like that alone is enough. “Your mouth does. And you don’t want this.”
“See, do you see what you’re doing here, again?” Tony steps forward, smashes his finger against the place where the star used to sit proudly on Steve’s chest. “You’re making an executive decision about how I feel, as to what I need, when you don’t have that right. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me!”
“But you never do what’s best for you!” Steve’s hands flail helplessly. “You do what’s best for everyone else, or what you think you deserve, and you never think about how it’s going to hurt—“
“I DESERVED TO KNOW MY PARENTS WERE MURDERED, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!”
Tony was supposed to be making his way to an orgasm right about now - instead he suddenly feels so angry he can hardly breathe. Fucking typical. He just had to go and open his mouth, didn’t he?
He glares at the man who tore his heart out over a year ago. Steve looks back, his expression shattered. Tony feels angrier still when he realises that he’s never going to be able to see this person in front of him and not love him. He’s trying so hard, right now, and he can’t. Even after all this. He can’t find it in him.
“Just fuck me,” Tony says, and it comes out more exhausted than demanding.
Steve shakes his head. “I can’t.”
Right. Steve’s made up his mind about what’s best for tony. Again. Was it ever going to go any other way?
Sometimes, the tiredness goes so deep that Tony starts to feel it in his bones. His therapist says it’s psychosomatic- that bones don’t actually creak and groan like wooden doors in abandoned houses. Tony begs to differ.
“If we stop now, this is the last time you’ll ever see me,” he says, hoping, even now, that maybe something will change. That maybe for once, Steve will just put him first.
It’s a pipe dream. Tony comes to that realisation as soon as Steve shakes his head. Stupid.
“Maybe that’s for the best.” Steve’s voice is hoarse. Like each word is painful. Tony wishes that were true - in reality, he doesn’t doubt Steve is just wary of the fight his words will bring - the argument that’ll erupt out of Tony’s mouth in response.
But Tony’s done fighting. It’s a losing battle. Always has been.
He looks at Steve. Nods.
He walks out of the door without another word.
#stevetony#Steve Rogers#tony stark#i hate civil war passionately and yet I am obsessed with writing about their fucked up little dynamic#yesssss boy. hate eachother!!! love eachother!!! blur those goddamn lines!!!#die in one another’s arms and then finally see everything you should’ve done differently with the clarity that only comes when you know#the opportunity to fix it is gone for good!!!!!!!!!!!#anyways
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Just wanna get something confirmed, but lando fans are hating on oscar cause he *checks notes* raced lando and beat him? What was oscar supposed to do, park the car on the side? Lando was on pole, why didn't he hold his position better, it wasn't like shit strategy fucked him up, he himself did it.
Even by Lando's own statement in the post-race press conference, he doesn't want nor expect Oscar to just wave him on through. Now yes, this is a change of tone from Austria, but I think we should at least note that some fans are not even listening to what their own driver has to say about it.
And, to be completely honest, some McLaren fans love to brag about having two top drivers, but they don't seem to like the downsides that come with two #1 drivers. This is what happens when you have two #1 drivers., or at least two drivers who both think they should be #1.
There's a reason that Red Bull keeps a clear second driver. There's a reason that the pairing of Max and Daniel (when Daniel was their incumbent #1) ended up going sour and with Daniel leaving the team. There's a reason that the lifelong friendship between Nico and Lewis didn't survive their time as teammates.
When two equally matched drivers are competing each other, the other is always going to be the biggest threat. Oscar and Lando should be driving with this in mind. Today, Oscar got one over on Lando, and unless Lando figures out his race starts and defending, then that will keep happening.
#f1#formula 1#oscar piastri#lando norris#monza gp 2024#italian gp 2024#this is also something that I think about a lot with Lewis coming to Ferrari next year#that's two number one drivers on the same team#both of whom clearly have WDC intentions for themselves#I would be delusional not to expect both of them to race each other hard and it even sometimes lead to issues#but I also recognize that having two top drivers comes with a LOT of opportunities#so#McLaren Civil War
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i rewatched the winter soldier on a whim last night and yea fuck marvel all the way 2 hell but he is still my specialest little boy
#cap america fanart in the year of our lord 2023 yea. hello#captain america#bucky barnes#marvel#fanart#my art#im getting like flashbacks to civil war coming out in theaters and my mental stability taking a Nosedive afterwards.#the two were totally unrelated please believe me#i think that one cap/bucky hug fanart is still one of my most popular posts on here lol
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