#Comes home and goes to rehab for it... Gets his old job back

[vino---delectable]

Oh... life treated You unfairly

What about him?

[galaxywarp]

(please like if you read. and it would mean a lot to me if you read.)

————————

My body and my mind have been sick lately

So my sleep schedule has been fucked.

3am is a normal time to wake.

And just before the sun rises,

I find a couple of dollars

And I put some gas in my tank and I buy a cheap iced coffee,

And I drive and I watch the sun come up

While I listen to music that makes my friends sad.

And as I’m standing at the pump and overdrawing my bank account to put a few dollars of gas in my car,

And my speakers are playing a song about wanting to kill my father with a baseball bat,

I see a man around my age walking towards the gas station,

From out of the shadows of the distant sidewalk

Into the harsh light.

And he’s wearing an oversized sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants and he’s walking alone through the dark to a gas station at 5 in the morning to buy a lighter

And some part of me registers that this is a man who others may feel nervous about him approaching them through the darkness.

But in him I see myself.

And I miss being a meth addict.

And I miss his world. And I miss dragging myself, dirty and beaten, to the nearest gas station at 5 in the morning with loose change in my pocket to buy myself a lighter so that I can smoke my meth pipe.

And I get back in my car that’s still playing a song about wanting to kill my father with a baseball bat.

And I try to think about what it is I’m missing.

And I think of rooms of faces,

Painful, terrible, beautiful faces,

Where every person there understands exactly what it’s like to be at a gas station at 5 in the morning listening to a song about wanting to kill your father with a baseball bat.

And you don’t have to think about it.

You don’t have to talk about it.

They just hand you a pipe

And a lighter

And the pain goes away.

And I drive to pick up my iced coffee

And I don’t feel as bad about the iced coffee as I thought I would.

It’s only two dollars, after all.

And it’s easy to find two dollars, even when you have nothing else.

You can find two dollars in a lot of places.

In your couch.

In old jacket pockets.

In the kindness of a stranger.

And I’ve been hoarding loose change for years.

I keep it in my grandpa’s old ammunition box from the war.

The box where I keep one of the shells from the guns they fired at his and grandma’s funeral.

The box where I keep a dirty rusty nail that someone gave me in rehab.

Someone who didn’t make it, but I did.

The box where I keep the smooth pretty blue stone that the other patients passed around on my last day, that they held close to their hearts as they wished me strength on my journey. As they told me that I was strong and that I was going to make it.

And it’s the box where I keep my loose change

For iced coffee

And meth lighters.

It’s easy to find two dollars.

Your mom will give you two dollars

If you tell her it’s for iced coffee

And not meth lighters.

Your mom will give you two dollars

If you promise it’s not to kill yourself.

And in the drive thru the girl asks me to please wait a moment, she has to refill the coffee.

And I tell her it’s okay, really, no rush.

And she thanks me

And tells me she appreciates me.

And I think about all the jobs I’ve had

Where I had to ask a customer to please wait a moment

So I could do something important

Like refill the coffee

Or use heroin in the bathroom.

And when she hands me my iced coffee I say thank you

And I tell her “I appreciate you too”.

And I see her face fall, briefly,

As she is stunned by my words

Taken aback by this brief, fleeting moment of genuine kindness and connection.

And just as quickly she smiles at me

Truly smiles

And says thank you.

And I hurry and drive away, so she can deal with the rest of the cars in line

Many of which are running late for work

And who will blame her for it.

And I take my drive.

And I watch the sun rise.

And I listen to music that makes my friends sad.

And when I come home

I wash down my antidepressants with what’s left of my iced coffee

And I think about how I don’t miss being a meth addict.

I am a meth addict

Without his pipe.

[the-cleaning-guy]

Howdy!

My name is Bruce and I'm Princeton-Plainsboro's janitor, nothing too special. I keep the hospital clean and occasionally bring in my dogs to help the patients.

I've been told to include some things about myself so here ya go:

Age- 25 (April 21, 1979)

Pronouns- He/Him

Sexuality- Fag

I have 4 dogs, a truck almost as old as me, I can play the guitar, harmonica, and drum on buckets. Feel free to ask me something or talk to me I'm all ears buddy!

Some information about him!

Bruce grew up in a trailer park with his parents and older brother. His dad worked a blue collar job and his mom was a bartender. His brother is 6 years older than him, he wasnt home often so theyre not very close. He still goes to see his parents, he'll stop by and have dinner with them every so often. All of them were really distant growing up (still are) but they care about eachother in their own ways.

He started using drugs around 14 and it got really bad from 16-20. He originally got the job at PPTH at 19 but a year later got sent to rehab because he almost OD-ed. Cuddy gave him the job back because he was a good worker and his recovery was going really well. Hes relapsed a few times and had to stay inpatient at PPTH.

He has a slight southern accent that comes out with certain words but its not super obvious. His right eye is a very light grey/blue, his left eye is an olive green. He has tattoos all over his body (including a tramp stamp he got at 16). He has a labret, a septum, a tongue, 10 ear (3 on top, 2 on bottom), and a belly button piercing. Him and his brother both have moles under their eye but on opposite sides.

He owns an old red pickup truck from the 80s. Lives in a small rundown apartment 40 minutes from PPTH. He has four dogs (two pit bulls, a german shepherd, and an australian shepard). One pit bull (named Bones but he calls him Baby) is a trained therapy dog who helps him with his addiction and anxiety. He plans on getting his german shepherd (Jack <- named after jack twist from brokeback mountain) trained to be a therapy dog too. He learned to play guitar, harmonica, and bucket drums as a young teen practically on the streets.

He gets along with most people really well since hes easy to talk to. He has resting bitchface but when he talks to people hes very polite and friendly which makes up for it. Kids tend to like him so he carries candy in his pockets for them. He has sort of a random country uncle feel to him? Hes very charismatic but you also wouldnt want to get in a fight with him. He looks like someone you'd see at a bar drinking beers and watching the game on tv. Though hes not really a fan of sports other than hockey or fighting. He seems older than he really is both physically and mentally. He'll bring in Bones for the patients to hang out with when hes allowed to. He enjoys talking about music, movies/shows, history, dogs, etc. People tend to talk to him about their drama so he knows everyones business, hes a good listener!

He likes men but he doesnt really talk about it often. He grew up getting called 'fag' by most of the people around him (even if they got along) so he usually just calls himself that. He isnt currently into anybody but he gets around. Hes a cis guy but doesnt care about gender much so its never really on his mind, he probably doesnt know what being trans is but he doesnt give a shit either way.

Hello!! im ghost (@ghostboyhood) the person behind this blog. Sorry the information above is so all over the place i have a rough time wording things 😭 I'll usually talk ooc in specified tags unless youre specifically asking ME something and not Bruce -> [#ooc- blahblahblah]

This is my House Md oc Bruce N. Valentine!! Feel free to ask him things and talk to him, he'd love to listen. Hes up for answering almost anything just be smart about what you ask <3

Go check out the other people hes surrounded by at @ppth-staff !!

[ghostboyhood]

Name- Bruce N. Valentine

Age- 25 (April 21, 1979)

Pronouns- He/Him

Sexuality- Faggot

Hes the janitor, yay! He started working for PPTH when he was 19 and doesnt plan on leaving anytime.

Bruce grew up in a trailer park with his parents and older brother. His dad worked a blue collar job and his mom was a bartender. His brother is 6 years older than him, he wasnt home often so theyre not very close. He still goes to see his parents, theyre not very close but he'll stop by and have dinner with them every so often. He looks a lot like both of his parents. Everybody was really distant growing up (still are) but they care about eachother in their own ways.

He started using drugs around 14 and it got really bad from 16-20. He originally got the job at PPTH at 19 but a year later got sent to rehab because he almost OD-ed. Cuddy gave him the job back because he was a good worker and his recovery was going really well. Hes relapsed a few times but has been able to not fully start using again. He smokes weed semi-regularly though.

He has a slight southern accent that comes out with certain words but its not super obvious. His right eye is a very light grey/blue, his left eye is an olive green. He has tattoos all over his body (including a tramp stamp he got at 16). He has a labret, a septum, a tongue, 10 ear (3 on top, 2 on bottom), and a belly button piercing. Him and his brother both have moles under their eye but on opposite sides.

He owns an old red pickup truck from the 80s. He lives in a small rundown apartment 40 minutes from PPTH. He has four dogs (two pit bulls, a german shepherd, and an australian shepard). One pit bull (named Bones but he calls him Baby) is a trained therapy dog who helps him with his addiction and anxiety. He plans on getting his german shepherd (Jack <- named after jack twist from brokeback) trained to be a therapy dog too.

He gets along with most people really well, hes easy to talk to. He has resting bitchface but when he talks to people hes very polite and friendly which makes up for it. Kids tend to like him so he carries candy in his pockets for them. He has sort of a random country uncle feel to him? Hes very charismatic but you also wouldnt want to get in a fight with him. He looks like someone you'd see at a bar drinking beers and watching the game on tv. Though hes not really a fan of sports other than hockey or fighting. He seems older than he really is both physically and mentally. He'll bring in Bones for the patients to hang out with when hes allowed to.

He likes men but he doesnt really talk about it often. He grew up getting called 'fag' by most of the people around him (even if they got along) so he usually just calls himself that. He isnt currently into anybody but he gets around. Hes a cis guy but doesnt care about gender much so its never really on his mind, he probably doesnt know what being trans is but he doesnt give a shit either way.

[nellxsoto]

✦ MELISSA BARRERA, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ✦ PENELOPE “NELL” SOTO the TWENTY-NINE year old has been in Hidehill for HER ENTIRE LIFE (LEFT FOR TWO YEARS AND THEN RETURNED) and was a FORMER STUDENT to Miyeon Kang, the murder victim. Whispers on the streets are that the WAITRESS AT MELS + STRIPPER AT THE VANILLA UNICORN who lives in HADLEY PARK are said to be LOYAL and PRIDEFUL but I guess we’ll find out for ourselves. WRITTEN BY MEL.

TRIGGER WARNING: cancer, alcoholism, death, car crash, addiction, rehab, poverty

⸻  𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

Penelope Elena Soto, preferably called Nell was born the eldest of the Soto clan in Hadley Park, the oldest of five children. She grew up believing that everyone lived the way they did, close together, sharing space in the trailer with very little to their name.

Josephine and Luca Soto tried their hardest to keep themselves together, to make sure their children could have anything they wanted within limits. The older Nell got, the more she realized -- there were a lot of limits.

Very quickly Nell essentially became the third parent in the household. When her parents were at work, Nell was tasked with caring for her two brothers and two sisters by herself.

Nell had very few friends and very little time to make them. The moment it was legal, she was waiting tables at Mel's after school to bring money home for her family.

In High School she enters her first major relationship with Scarlet Santiago, who brought her a lot of peace. Even if they ended things when Scarlet went off to college, she carries the relationship close to her heart because it taught her how she deserves to be treated romantically.

Just like she expected, everyone of the few friends she had managed to make in her high school years went off to college. Everyone had been temporary, and she was alone again. A routine soon came about: wake up. Head in to open Mels. Stay until her manager would force her to clock out. Go home again. Start over.

It was here where the patterns began to start, the visits to Dead Dawg. After work she felt the pull for a drink, and it soon became difficult for her to end her day without one. It was her secret, a vice that she could hide from her family.

She meets Charlie Abbott at twenty-two, fresh from his NFL draft. He draws her in with his sweet words and promises, but words can only mean so much. The drinking stops for a while. But it starts again when she discovers that he had been unfaithful.

The drinking starts again, and in private it begins to get worse. Some time later she meets and falls in love with Viktor Henriksson and for the first time, she wonders if she an actually truly be happy.

Their relationship disintegrates, and as does she as she descends deeper into her private vice. This time, she begins to spiral. Like really, truly spiral following the death of her father, who got into a car crash and passed away on impact. She shows up drunk to work a couple days later where she proceeds to get fired, after having worked there since she was sixteen years old.

It takes one friend, someone who cared to tell her what deep down she already knew: she was an alcoholic. They gave her an ultimatum, I can drive you to rehab, or you'll lose me forever.

Nell checks into rehab and completes the program a year later, sober chip in hand. She protects it with all she has and it is her most prized possession.

She takes the first couple months to travel, before she gets a call from her mother: you need to come back to Hidehill.

She is met when she moves into a trailer of her own with her brothers diagnosis: cancer. He has cancer. From what her mother knew, it's unclear how much time he has left and there's little that they can do.

During this time she reconnects with one of her brother's childhood friends Ajay Rao, who helps her return to life in Hidehill and even stays in the car when she goes to ask for her old job back. The owner welcomes her back with open arms, proud of her for having gotten the help she needs.

She begins stripping at The Vanilla Unicorn, something that is unknown to her family to earn extra money. She can only contribute so much to her brother's medical bills on a waitress salary.

⸻  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

Vocalist, guitarist and songwriter for November Ends. Music is the one thing she uses to escape from being everyone else's caretaker and truly one of the only things she has for herself.

Goes by Nell most of the time because Penelope reminds her of someone's mother, and only allows Viktor to call her Penny.

Carries her sober chip in a pocket of her clothing, so she can remind herself of how far she's come.

Never stopped loving Viktor, even after her time away. This time, she'll be better for him. If there even is a next time.

more to come.

⸻ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

Exes: Scarlet Santiago, Charlie Abbott, Viktor Henriksson

FWB/Hookups (Former): Mallory Goldmann, Jordan Hayes, OPEN

FWB/Hookups (Current):

Friends: Ajay Rao, Josiah Sterling, OPEN

Bandmates: Carter Thompson, Mateo Martin, Alexis Hayes, Jaxon Fairchild, Jamie Zenik.

Coworkers: Adriana Martinez, Max Aguilar, Dallas Parker, OPEN

These are just what I have, open to any!

[readingforsanity]

Brain Damage | Freida McFadden | Published 2016 | *SPOILERS*

After years of hard work, Dr. Charly McKenna finally has it all. Prosperous career as a dermatologist? Check. Spacious apartment overlooking Central Park? Check. Handsome lawyer husband? Double check. 

Then one night, a bullet rips through the right side of her skill and she loses everything. 

As Charly struggles to recover from her brain injury, she begins to realize that the events of that fateful night are trapped in the damaged right side of her brain. Now she must put the jigsaw pieces together to discover the identity of the man who tried to kill her...before he finished the job he started. 

Charly McKenna has a seemingly perfect life. She is a successful dermatologist, helping people figure out their weird skin rashes, funguses and other things that peril people. She has an amazing two-bedroom condo overlooking Central Park, and after a few short months of dating, she is married to her gorgeous lawyer husband, Clark. 

But, everything changed when one night Charly returned home and an unknown assailant shoots her in the head, leaving her for dead. In the beginning, things aren’t looking well for Charly. She is in a near comatose state, and when she comes out of that, she has difficulty navigating things on her left side, which her rehabilitators say is called left neglect. 

Confined to a wheelchair in a hospital, Charly goes through various therapies to help her navigate her new life. Her left arm doesn’t work, and her perception of her life side is nonexistent. She strikes up friendships with Jamie, a young man with a 6 year old son, who took a tumble down the stairs that left him with a traumatic brain injury as well as Angela, who after taking birth control found a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her brain. 

Her therapists struggle with Charly as she has her good and bad days. Charly’s mother visits every day, but her husband doesn’t visit at all. Charly finds this odd, but he tells her it’s because of work at his lawyer practice. 

When a police officer visits, he tells Charly that they found the man that had shot her: he was the husband of a former patient, and after helping her with psoriosis, she ended up leaving her husband which greatly upset him. He confessed everything, and Charly, despite her shortcomings, successfully identifies him based off of pictures the detective shows her. 

And suddenly, Clark begins to visit more and more. But, slowly, Charly’s memory continues to come back to her. She remembers that prior to her accident, about two months before, she found out Clark had been cheating on her with a woman named Haley, who she considers to be much more attractive than her, before and after the shooting. After Regina, the wife of the man who shot her calls and tells her that Clark and her husband had been friends and neighbors, Charly realizes that Clark was involved. 

Jamie, her friend in the rehab center, finds Clark in her room early in the morning, and helps save Charly from disaster. Clark is arrested and confesses to being involved in the attempted murder plot. Jamie is being sent home from the rehab, and confesses that he’s in love with her but Charly can’t seem to come to terms with this fact. 

A year later, Charly is going to lunch with her best friend Bridget and her daughter, where she finds out that Bridget is pregnant with her second child. At the diner, they run into Jamie and his son Sam. Even after a year, Charly is still self-conscious despite making super strides in her recovery. Jamie is still pining over her and the two of them share a kiss, leading the readers to believe that the two of them will end up together, as Charly explains that this is the man that she’s been waiting for. 

To me, this story was incredibly different than her others. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Watching Charly struggle with her recovery, not believing in herself and refusing to believe she was going to get better, was heartbreaking. Watching her recovers lowly but surely was an amazing thing; though usually I am surprised by the twists, this book didn’t offer much in the way of many of those. I saw the culprit coming from a mile away, as many people had pointed it out to Charly throughout the novel. 

Definitely a 5/5 read! 

[prof-peach]

it feels a bit jarring to say, but I will try to be honest, don't worry about the introduction, I just can't help but default to verbose when I'm nervous..... aaaaaniway, straight to the point, what did I miss? as in, I started following you when the cacnea comic dropped, and then kinda quit Tumblr, but now that I'm back, peach is buff, and there are new people, which I love, don't misunderstand me, but yeah, what did I miss since then.... sorry, I just rather hear it straight from the horse's mouth

PREVIOUSLY ON, THE ADVENTURES OF PROFESSOR PEACH:

The Island opens, a new chapter in Peach and Grey's life, helping pokemon and focusing on grass study. People come and go from the Island shores to learn, search for answers, and enjoy the scenery. (this is where those skinny peach comics originate, early days) Time passes, give or take 8 years, Peach has realised she's suited to wrangling the largest of large, and starts to work out to keep up with the physical demand, her mantra being 'do the work your team does, carry your own weight' and so she does, won't send her pokemon to do something she wont at least attempt herself. The island bustles every day, ferries coming and going with school trips, folks from the mainlands, and trainers looking for events and ventures. The facilities have grown, it has hotel accommodation, camp grounds, a modest amusement park on the docks, rides and games, cafes and beautiful parks to explore, not to mention the mountains that have been carved into for the cave dwellers, paths to the top to allow folks to look across the island and get the best views. The years have been kind to it, people love the place, plenty of activities are on offer run by a myriad of friendly staff, for visitors and pokemon to partake in. The labs still focus on grass types, that is after all Peach's forte, she's just branched into severe rehab for the more aggressive individuals too, taking on cases from all over that others have given up on. Her spare time is spent using her botany for good, she'll be in her greenhouse brewing and refining, using poisons and plants to create tonics to help many pokemon recover.

Grey is running a fantastic prosthetic program, helping mons who lose limbs, developing new held items to help individuals live healthy happy lives. His calm and gentle nature seems to be exactly what many patient need. He has a big workshop now with all the equipment to print and build various things, and spends his days with Peach, working closely with her rehab patients to make sure they're given the best chance.

Pari, the nursing intern that came in at the start of opening the labs has graduated and become a full time hire, head nurse, the professors can hand off work to her in complete confidence, she runs the front desk and pokecentre facilities like a champion, still a big cry baby but they love her for it. She lives at the top of the labs in a little apartment with her pokemon, days off going home to Goldenrod to visit her huge family

Around year 7 of moving to the island, the team got a connection with local rangers from a hand full of regions, who began to send the grass types that need help to the island, along with particularly nasty natured individuals who could do with more help than they have time for. They sent a liaison ranger to keep the exchanges organised, make sure everything goes to plan at the Island, to serve as a conduit for the bases and the professors. That turned out to be Peach's old rivals, Plum. Despite her irritation at the situation, Plum does a good job, she's decent with the pokemon, has flawless paperwork, and is a pretty skilled ranger when she's pushed out into the field.

Along side them, plenty of staff exist on the island, running businesses and working hard. A team of a dozen gardeners and their pokemon, hotel staff, cooks and cleaners, security at the docks, a lighthouse keeper, maintenance, battle aids who help trainers with their techniques, able to provide basic first aid, daycare staff, tour guides, and then seasonal staff. Summer we have folks come in to rent surfboards and water sport gear, festivals are held that bring in food vendors and trucks, kite festivals with rentals, winter you can go grab a hot drink and hit the snowy slopes on a pair of skis or a board. And of course big up the background cogs, the staff who keep things ticking, the hard working HR department, our accountants, lawyers, all making sure we do our best and that all our staff are catered for.

This brings us up to speed, current day, Peach is usually in the fields wrestling, out in the fields planting and harvesting, or in the greenhouses tending and brewing. Greys always tinkering with new designs and items, often asking Peach or his partners to test them out, perfecting his craft. Pari is the happy front to the centre, the first point of contact for any visiting trainer, and the Island is ticking at a very comfortable pace, growing and flourishing.

[missluckycharms]

What is grief, if not love persevering?

Anon asked: heyyy! i love your writing sm💕 can you write angst please? make it hurt☹

Masterlist.

Summary: in which Harry is a single Dad due to losing his wife five years ago just shortly after their little love was born. Y/N has been there through it all. Harry has a rough night filled with whiskey and tears for his late wife.

A/N: this one is full of Angst and light hearted jokes to not get you too sad … sorry in advance, it’s a real tear jerker. Enjoy!!

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, talks of alcohol and drug abuse, talks of depression and very low mental health, curse words.

—

Five years.

It’s been five years since the passing of Myla Styles, the woman who granted Harry a wish he always wanted, the woman who loved him beyond all the galaxies and the woman who never saw any wrong in anyone, not even the worst of people, she always used to say “deep down, their heart is just aching” and Harry always admired that about her, she always looked on the positive side of life.

She held that same attitude as he held her hand in the hospital room, her fragile and pale body laying on the white bed as she peered up at him, oxygen tube in her nostrils and too many machines to count hooked up to her body, she was a shell of a woman, but she still had a heart of gold, the same hear Harry fell in love with when they were sixteen years of age. He hated seeing her this way, especially when their nearly one week old baby was resting in his other arm, fast asleep as her Mum clung to every bit of life she had left, but not once did her smile fade.

It all happened so fast, one day she was pushing life into the world and eight days later her life was being taken out of this world. There was complications with birth, the doctors and nurses finding undiagnosed ovarian cancer in her ovaries when they had to send her in for an emergency c section. Myla confessed she felt off, her body didn’t feel right, but she knew if something was seriously wrong, she wouldn’t risk the life of her baby getting treatment, she would rather her baby live over her. Doctors and nurses tried their best, trying to refer her to new hospitals to get stronger chemo if she wanted, but Myla refused, she told them to let her go, she was tired and she couldn’t stick around long enough to see if these treatments would work — she knew she was dying but Harry refused to believe it.

The day she left, was the day Harry felt like his whole world stopped, like the curtains were shut and he was left in a dark room with no way out. He promised Myla he would do his best to take care of their love, who they named Honey. He was dealing with the loss, Honey taking his mind off it a little and giving him reasons to pull himself from bed even on the days when he wanted to lay around and wallow in his own darkness — she pulled him out of those days, but two months later it all came crashing down on top of him.

He slipped into a wrong mind set, immediately knowing that Honey had to be taken away from him because he was living in fear he would hurt her, one day he woke up and he looked at her and just cried, he held her and he felt nothing, he didn’t even sympathise with her when she would cry for food, he felt nothing towards Honey and this scared him, terribly. Anne, his Mum took Honey in, letting Harry to relax and blow off some steam and get some help, his and Myla’s family all agreeing and saying he needed help and it wasn’t something to be ashamed about — he just lost his wife, they can’t lose him either.

Harry took the wrong route of clearing his mind and getting help, he found his therapy at the end of a bottle and a line of cocaine. He slipped into an endless spiral of week long benders and debts for drug money along with risking losing his home due to him quitting his high up job at his Fathers Law firm, he completely crashed and burned, he couldn’t live without her, he couldn’t stop his mind racing and the only way for it all to stop, and let him feel numb — was when he was drunk and high, passing out in every room of his home and in his garden, the neighbours finding him sometimes in their yard in a mess. They were the ones who got him help, they called up his family and they all rushed him off in an ambulance to get him sober and conscious again. Here is where he made the decision to sign himself into rehab, accepting the help the hospital offered and a few months later, he was out and clean, he stayed with his Mum until Honey turned one and that was the year Harry found his smile again, found his life and purpose again.

Looking back now, he doesn’t know how he ever made himself believe it was Honeys fault Myla was no longer here, he doesn’t know how he’s even alive because of all the drugs and alcohol he ingested every single night for three months solid, but he knows why everything turned around, it was his Angel looking down on him, guiding him and kicking him in the ass to get up and look after their little love, just like she asked him to do before she left, always look after himself and Honey.

It’s been five years since her passing, Harry is doing better than ever, he started working for his Dad’s company again and now he’s the president of the law firm, alongside his Dad who is the CEO, Harry being second in command and then being the CEO when his Dad retires from the firm. They kept their family home, even if it was just the two of them, they loved the home and it still felt like Myla was living here, her makeup still tucked away in her unused vanity in Harrys bedroom and her favourite paintings still hung up around the home. Harry even hired a nanny, she has been working for him for two years now, she’s even working alongside Harry in his office being his receptionist during the day and she’s Honeys afternoon and night nanny when she’s done in work and Honey is home from school.

Y/N is Honeys nanny, she takes care of the little lady and feeds her daily, even taking her to the playground and to the movies when Honey asked her could she go. She would do anything for Honey and Honey loved her endlessly, she loved the way she would allow her to eat sneaky chocolate bars after dinner every now and then and how she would always play dollies with her, kneeling down on the floor of the den and playing with the small girl until they were both in fits of laughter. Harry also adored Y/N, her passion for her job at the law firm along with her passion for looking after Honey is something he admires, she never once complains about being exhausted even though he can tell when she is, she didn’t have to think twice when Harry offered her the job as Honeys nanny, she knew the little one from her being in the office every now and then, and Honey was instantly drawn to her, the way she was so kind and the way she cared for Honey.

Tonight is a hard night for Harry, it’s Myla’s death anniversary and he’s been having a bad day, his mind racing and his heart breaking all over again, but this time he’s stronger, he’s able to power through until he could be alone and just let his emotions go, have a glass of whiskey and just cry a little flipping through old photo albums — he does this every year on her anniversary. Honey is tucked up in bed and he’s sat alone in the den on the sofa, the photo albums on his lap and his hand clutching a small glass of whiskey as he sips on it flipping through many photos from their wedding and from when they were teens and drunk in love in high school — so many memories can be attached to one person, and Harry knew one day they would be memories, but he didn’t know it would be so soon.

“Honey is fast asleep, left her door cracked open so she can shout if she- Harry? Are you okay?” Y/N stops suddenly, her eyes landing on her boss who was hunched over a photo album on the sofa, curtains drawn and the only light coming from a lamp beside a framed wedding photo of him and Myla on the table by the sofa.

“Yeah, thanks for putting her to sleep” Harry says weakly, not turning around which alarms Y/N, she’s seen him like this last year, she let him be as she was only new to it, but this year she’s determined to sit with him all night if he needs — he needs to have some company.

“That’s you?” She asks sitting next to him, Harry not moving or telling her to leave, he accepts her company as she looks down at the photo his eyes are laid upon — two teenagers at a party.

“Yeah, m’hair was a curly mess” he says with a low laugh, looking over the photo of a seventeen year old version of himself, smiling cheekily clutching a red solo cup and Myla wrapped under his other arm holding him around his waist, both their smiles wide and cheeky and their cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol in their bodies.

“I think it looks cute, pitty it’s not as curly now” she says with a light laugh, watching as his ring clad fingers turn the page, taking a sip from his whiskey as he goes.

“This was our prom, she made me wear a pink fucking bow tie — absolutely hated it” he laughs, the crinkles by his eyes evident as Y/N laughs along, looking down at the curly headed teenager in a black suit, white shirt and a bright pink bow tie, matching Myla’s floor length dress next to him, a shawl over her shoulders matching as the corsage around her wrist match the pink of her dress also.

“She hated that dress a year later, she was packing up for college and I was helping her when she found it, immediately burst out laughing” he says laughing loudly, remembering back at the memory he has, Y/N beside him happy at how joyful he sounds speaking of the memories.

“Oh here we go, Frat boy Harry!” Y/N says with a loud laugh, pointing down at a shirtless twenty year old Harry, backwards cap on his head and “Myla’s Bitch!” Wrote on his stomach in paint, two beer bottles in his hands and Myla on his shoulders cheering with her hands up in a red bikini, matching his swimming trunks and baseball cap.

“Some of the best years of m’life, raging parties and no more curfews, we were two hormonal teens absolutely smitten for one another” he says shaking his head with a laugh, his eyes bright as he flicks them over the photos ranging from Harry dancing, Myla being pushed into the pool by him and Harry passed out with a mustache drawn on him with Myla next to him holding the marker with a bright smile mid laughter.

The book is filled with their college days, to their graduation day from college, their photo in their first apartment, Harry on his first day of work and Myla on hers. They took photos of small things, but at the time they meant the world to them, they were milestones in their lives and they never wanted to forget them. Harry is forever grateful that Myla had an obsession with photography, otherwise he wouldn’t have these to look back on and hopefully show Honey one day what her Mum was like, even if she’s drunk and half naked in some of them at college parties.

Harry and Y/N are in fits of laughter, tears falling from their faces as Harry explains every single memory behind each photo, one photo containing a memory of Myla at her bachelorette party, Harry coming out as a stripper and giving her a lap dance as she slaps his ass and throws money all over her husband — that one will definitely not be shown to Honey. Harry is like a whole different person when he speaks about her, his laugh becomes louder and his eyes become brighter, he even ditched his whiskey after one glass to speak about his late wife, Y/N looking at him with pure amazement and proudness of how far he’s come, how he pulled himself from a hard time and carried on life for the sake of his baby girl. He’s truly inspirational in her eyes.

“It should be easier than this by now, right? Like I shouldn’t be still grieving” he says when their laughs and stories come to a stop, their eyes hooded with sleep and faces hurting from laughing.

“What is grief, if not love persevering? You were both childhood sweethearts, you’ve loved her since you can remember and you always will, she’s your whole world, of course you’ll still grieve her, you still love her, and that’s okay” Y/N blurts out, her words quick as she blabs on while Harry watches her, a smile on his face as she explains and accepts his feelings.

“Never knew you were Shakespeare” is all he says, she rolls her eyes laughing, slapping his bicep a little as he shuts the album, tucking it away in the drawer again before turning his focus back onto Y/N beside him.

“Seriously though, never tell yourself you’ve been grieving for too long, it’s okay to grieve and cry yourself to sleep some nights, I get that, I do. You lost a person who made you who you are, but don’t forget, you still have a little one that will need you to be the person who makes her who she is”

Harry thinks she’s amazing, she’s smart and she’s so empathetic towards everyone and anyone. She has a heart of gold and she will never let anyone explain hers or anyone else’s feelings for them, she always allows people to express who they are, heck, one night she brought Harry to a gym after hours, explaining how her brother is a trainer there and he gave her the keys on the condition that she does his laundry for a month, she let Harry rage out and punch the shit out of a punching bag one night because he was so upset. She cheered him on and he was smiling as he was punching towards the end, she helped him release the emotions that built up and would of lead him back down a dark path.

She’s been an Angel sent from above, he knows Myla sent her to him because of how much they’re alike, Harry knows for sure they were sisters in a past life, their kind hearts and understanding natures alike but they have their differences, Myla was very out spoken and loved to party but Y/N is reserved and would rather stay inside with a hot chocolate and her crosswords while watching TV, but that’s another thing that Harry finds fascinating about her, she’s younger than him by eight years, when he was her age he was partying.

“Thank you Y/N, I needed this tonight” he says with a smile, her own smile on her face as she nods leaning over to rub her hand over his in a comforting manner, the pair looking at one another as they soak in their presences.

“It’s getting late, I should go” she says realising it’s nearly midnight, Harry and her need to be in work tomorrow morning and Harry has to wake up to get his little lady ready for school also. He gets a bit saddened when she says this, he secretly wants to hear more of her own college years and her own prom much like he told her earlier.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow” he says with a smile, watching as she gathers up her bag and throws it over her shoulder, car keys now in her hand as she smiles at him once more before heading for the den door. She pauses and looks back at him, his eyes meeting hers as they hold contact for a few seconds before she speaks up.

“See you tomorrow, Harry”

[mollysfoundfamily]

What are the epithet erased folks like when they're drunked?

Oh ho ho ho this is going to be fun! ( alcohol and drunk Tigger warning though)

Molly: No. No. No. No. no alcohol for the baby. EVER! Percy doesn’t even anything that even looks like it get close to her and her young still forming brain!! the others have kind of an unspoken rule about it to. SHES. JUST. TOO. PURE.

she hasn’t told them that her dad used to let her drink pumpkin spice beer at thanksgiving yet.

Sylvie: Don’t tell percy but Sylvie drinks wine the most respectable and classy of all adult beverages when he’s at office parties. The others are reluctant to let a 15 year old do it but he insists he‘s more then responsible enough. It’s purely to study the complex flavors anyway (he’ll never admit it but they all taste like expired cough syrup to him) not to get totally inebriated for the sake of it.... that part happened on accident. It only takes about one glass to do it and He goes into beef beef sheep mode but as a drunken out loud ramble. He comes up with alot of “ground braking theories“ when he gets like this too. He was once convinced that motion wasn’t real it‘s just an illusion our brains cook up to help us cope with our frozen world!!! He’ll just keep rambling and hiccuping for hours every once and a while admitting something very very embarrassing like How he doesn’t know what half the big words he uses mean or that his coffee is actually just chocolate milk until he eventually passes out on top of a pile of very tipsy sheep sucking his thumb.... which is usually fallowed by a visit from a very very glitchy beefton Who has fish fins for some reason because drunk dreams apparently aren’t as stable as regular dreams.

Giovanni: Gio doesn’t even really like alcohol (mostly because of Debby) but sneaks into bars every now and then because underage drinking is a major crime!! He can’t stomach anything unless it’s drowned in sweet strawberry staved ice or a million different juices and of course a tiny umbrella and it only takes one of those to get him waisted... His whole face flushes totally red even his ears! He’s somehow even louder and more obnoxious then usual! Dancing on tables swinging form ceiling fans yelling at strangers who don’t tip or harass The bar tenders and getting into fist fights with them which he usually loses (making out with crusher that one time) his few inhibitions completely out the window along with the Bar‘s jukebox.... it’s the only time he’s ever committed any kind of real crimes. Then on the second on he just Starts maniacally laughing and crying at the same time. Its actually pretty scary to witness so thank goodness Bear trap ain’t around. Until It eventually just becomes crying about all the mean stuff he did and how great it is but how it’s awful too and how he doesn’t wanna be mean but you have to be mean to be a bad guy so does that mean he doesn’t wanna be a bad guy? and really feels like he should have taken that four year baseball scholarship to the city’s top medical College!!

Mera: She’s a little harder to get waisted mostly Because she has to be really careful not to brake the fancy glasses her drinks come in. When she does it only makes her get more grumpy and makes her start scream ranting about how terrible life is and how terrible people are and just how much everything and everyone sucks all the time... expect for Indus

her affection for him is turned up a hundred fold she’ll throw herself on top of him and nuzzle into him like a kitty squeezing his muscles! She’ll ramble on about how he’s the handsomest sweetest person in the history of ever and how she doesn’t deserve him and just wants to kiss his big dumb face and from there it trails off into.... pg 13 territory untill she passes out and a very red faced indus has to carry her home.

Indus: Indus is also pretty hard to get drunk since he’s so huge it’s only ever happened once. It was from one to many of those wooden pints of ale at this theme bar because of course it was. Everyone there thought he was an actor or something and kept asking for selfies because he kept singing broken warrior drinking ballets and challenging people to drinking contests which only made things worse. After winning about 5 he couldn’t say too words without braking into giggle fit or hiccuping his head off. It would have been kinda cute if he hadn’t also lost all motor control, completely forgot how strong he was and smashed almost everything and everyone he came in contact with. He hugged about 7 people into the hospital, smashed a hole on the bar. and then tried to fight a forklift. But he probably would have done that last one anyway.

Percy: (aka the one you’re all waiting for) Has only ever taken a drink once in her life. Ramsey thought Champagne would be a good way to celebrate after closing a big case together... he has never regretted anything so much. She took one sip and she was immediately completely intoxicated a Drunken delinquent unable to control her own actions or the already rapidly forming addition she was suffering from. But she would work as hard as she could to get sober and decided to check herself into the nearest rehab center. He tried to stop her but she was determined to go strait there but she wouldn’t allow herself to operate a motor vehicle under such conditions so she decided to walk there right through the middle of heavy traffic. Once again totally unable to control her rash decisions. He eventually got her to come back thankfully without getting hit. Only for her to run straight into a stop sign. She got back up again immediately and acted like nothing was wrong even though blood was pooring out of her swelled up nose! He tried to take her to the hospital but she insisted on staying to defend her honor again the offending sign as irrational displays of strength was a common drunken activity. But electrocuting it was probably not the best idea since it sort of acted as a lightning rod and fired the underground wires the ran underneath it blacking out the next 5 city blocks. The video of the whole thing when viral and Percy uses as an example of the dangers of alcohol For the kids.

Ramsey: The man can afford freaking gold laced Champagne but chooses box rosé in the basement watching Adam Sandler movies like the king he is.

But somehow with out fail he will always always always wake up the next morning in the master sweet of a yacht he just bought with a bunch of passed out strangers half of which are furries in a giant pile of money totally unable to move his face because of the back ally Botox he got done. wearing nothing but his boxers, gold chains with a little gold rats on them, and solid gold crocks still holding that box of rosé....

Zora: We’ve done drunk Zora art here before she’s pretty much exactly what you would expect downing whisky and beer left and right just to see how far she can go!! Her competitiveness goes through the roof and she’s challenging anyone to anything darts, arm wrestle, poole, russian roulette, jump rope, anything she was one of the said people Indus got into a drinking contest with and the only one he lost too! She really isn’t that much different then her usual self since she drinks pretty regularly and has the highest tolerance out of everyone.

extra because I had too!!

Howie: It seems like its impossible to get him drunk. His worker bees get him to try and loosen up a little because like it or not he needs it. But he’s already downed 10 giant beers and seems totally the same.... until he gets a call about a new job gets up and walks right through the wall of the bar leaving a Howie shaped hole behind him.

[f1-disaster-bi]

Trigger warning btw I’m sorry but I saw the headcannon about Este helping Lance with his depression and thought of this.

A few weeks into lance and Lando hanging out again after being reunited and Lando is at Lance’s for dinner. It’s the first time either has been at the others place. Lance has been gone for a little while after saying he was going to change out of his work clothes so Lando goes to find him. He walks into the bedroom and is shocked to see Lance cleaning some scars (not brand new but not old) on his arms and Lando immediately goes over to help and make sure Lance is okay. They have a long talk about their mental health after that, turns out Lance started self harming about a year after Lando left when the abuse from his dad started getting worse and it was really bad for a while. Lando is super sad and just holds Lance who reassures him that he’s on meds, he goes to therapy and he’s doing better - he still has low days (maybe something happened just before he moved that triggered him again) but they arent as frequent as when he was a teen. Lando also talks about his struggles and how after the move he got insomnia, severe anxiety and even struggled with disordered eating and how he’s lived on a strict sleep schedule/diet for years otherwise he’s a mess. There’s a lot of tears that night but it brings them closer and they both promise to be there for each other from there on out. From then Lance always ensures Lando sleeps on time and eats correctly and Lando is always making sure Lance doesn’t run out of pills / isn’t self harming in any way. When Esteban comes over he’s so thankful to Lando and tells him the full story of what happened at college and how Este had to threaten rehab to get Lance to get better. Lando starts to feel guilty - Lance is his best friend and his own anxiety let him ruin it and that hurt lance which didn’t help the spiral - but Este reassures him that it was always the thought of being reunited with Lando or the idea that Lando was thriving that would help Lance.

“At least before the move I had you. You were always there for me. Comforting me, making me laugh, making me fall for you in ways I couldn’t imagine. And then you weren’t and we drifted apart and my stutter got worse and dad got worse. Borderline physical at times as well as everything he’d say to me. I had no one. I was the loner who had a funny voice and couldn’t talk properly and had to inject himself throughout the day and was lanky and awkward and no one ever got me like you did. Eventually it was as bad in school as it was at home and I gave up. It started small, snapping an elastic band on my wrist then scratching my skin and then dad got angry one day and a knife was thrown and it grazed me and it felt good. So I gave it a go and that physical pain distracted me from my own brain and the constant string of words that would play on repeat. Este helped me stop during my first year of college and I was clean for years but just before I came here, I told mum and dad I’d quit my job and was moving and dad got angry and I went downhill and spiralled. I coped the way I knew how but I promise I haven’t done anything since I left Canada.”

From that day Lando promises never to let Lance feel that low and helpless again. (And then that whole dick head colleague shit happens and crap hits the fan)

My heart

I think this belongs more in the angst au. Although I like parts of it for the main au, especially the stutter and Lance's parents getting worse because once Lance has the accident in hockey and ends his chance at that career, he becomes an outcast again and his parents are back to being horrible after a period of them treating him semi-normal

[keyofjetwolf]

What was your first?

So a horse walks into a rehab and says “ouch”. And not a lot. Then a great deal. While also saying nothing. It’s BoJack, in rehab, and going about as well as you might think!

“The Stopped Show” may not have been much about BoJack, but “A Horse Walks Into A Rehab” makes up for it by being 99.9% BoJack, setting aside the brief appearance of the other characters to set their stages for when we get back to them. Diane’s in a shitty motel, Todd’s in a seedy alleyway, Princess Caroline has her porcupine baby, and Mr. Peanutbutter continues to deliver cheer while everything around him burns AND drowns. I’ve now touched base with them about as much as the season premier, and we’ll get busy ignoring them.

As I said, BoJack is the star today, and we continue his quest for ... what, exactly?

Trying to pin it down, that “what is BoJack looking for” question, it’s a lot harder to answer than I expected, which marks another instance of me fucking myself, GOOD JOB ME.

I initially said “punishment”, but that isn’t true, or a least, is too easy. BoJack wants accountability for his actions -- which is a very different thing than punishment -- but he wants it in a way that also absolves him from having to do any work to rise above it. So you’d think he’d love this, the constant claim in rehab that he’s powerless. It seems like the answer to everything, a blanket pass to excuse his behaviour because he’s powerless. Why doesn’t he? I’m not sure I’m entirely clicking with the heart of that, so come with me as I have a poke at it.

For one, I doubt very much rehab would begin and end with “you’re powerless, oh well”. Addiction is some nasty business, but in and of itself, it’s a symptom, not the problem. That in mind, we swing back then to BoJack having to put in the work, only now it’s with the removal of his favourite coping mechanisms.

I think what he was hoping to get out of rehab was more along the lines of “Vodka is a naughty irresistible siren who topples even the most noble of men, but if you cross your eyes and click your heels, you’ll be free from her spell forevermore.” And yeah, no.

I think we get some of that in how, for a while, rehab seems to suit BoJack.

To the point I very specifically said to Doc as I was watching this, “Oh shit, did BoJack just become even MORE insufferable?” He’s okay so long as he has the comfort of the scripts and the regimented plant therapy and the same hike every day. When he starts to get fucked is when he has push further, when he has to work harder, when the treatment demands MORE.

“I notice you tend to deflect when I ask you about the source of your addiction,” his therapist says, causing BoJack to immediately deflect, first with a joke and then, when that doesn’t work, attacking the entire system. Getting to the root of his problem is the last thing BoJack wants, to the point where the entire episode ITSELF is one giant deflection. I made a joke in passing up there about our passing moments with each of the other main characters, but that’s actually it, that’s the heart of this episode.

Each of these are efforts by the episode to deflect what’s going on NOW, tempting us with something shiny and interesting, if only we’d take the bait. I ONLY JUST MADE THIS CONNECTION WELL FUCKING DONE SHOW

And of course, there’s Jameson’s story, which is part deflection, part contrast. She’s intended to appear at first like someone BoJack can relate to, a Sara Lynn Pt. 2 that he wants to save and in whom he sees so much of himself. In equal parts, he’s the adult trying to guide her and the force enabling her, and I’d have to do a bit more thinking on whether I thought his success with her was about him walking both sides of that line, or Jameson just, at the end of the day, being lucky. Either way, it’s also not really about her, so much as BoJack talking a really good game at her, while giving her all the tools to make the worst choices.

Which is, I think, where the episode finally settles. BoJack’s choices have been his own, but they aren’t made in isolation. Throughout this episode, we get moments, presented in reverse chronological order, that could on their own answer that key question: When was the first time you drank?

To settle your nerves to get through a scene everyone was counting on you to nail?

To fit in with the cool kids at high school?

To win your father’s approval?

What’s brilliant to me about each of these flashbacks is that the further into the past we go, the more willing we are to absolve BoJack. In the first, he’s a professional actor required to kiss an attractive and consenting fellow professional in the course of a performance. Nervous? Makes total sense. Getting plastered to do it? LESS SENSE.

The high school one is the most damning, which I adore. BoJack’s the butt of some light bullying by the jock, and I don’t mean to completely dismiss that it sucks, but the remainder of events before he starts in on the beers shows he’s hardly an absolute social pariah. And even if he were, once he begins to drink, BoJack doesn’t just become the life of the party, he becomes cruel (demonstrating quite well that jokes aren’t his only tool of deflection). Worse, that he KNOWS he’s doing it, but cares more about his positive attention than their negative. Still, BoJack’s a kid and peer pressure is a hell of a thing. This isn’t a good look, but it’s also not damning, if he’d come to learn from it. 

Now we jump the line to, I’d guess, ten or eleven year old BoJack, who walks in on his father having an affair with his secretary, but too young to recognize what he’s seen. Butterscotch can’t take the risk though, so he effortlessly manipulates little BoJack into getting drunk and passing out, then uses BoJack’s shame about it to keep him quiet on the whole evening. UNDER THE GUISE OF BEING HIS FRIEND AND DOING HIM A FAVOUR BY THE WAY. No question, Butterscotch is a son of a bitch, and the only thing BoJack did wrong here was crave his parent’s love.

Even with the high school one being a little more grey, they’re all pretty cut and dry. Remember that we’re following the thread of “When was the first time you drank?” and to land on the answer “When my unrepentantly dickish father lied to me to save his own ass” puts a pretty solid punctuation mark on the whole affair. Addiction may not be at fault, but Butterscotch Horseman is. Case closed, we can go home.

BUT WAIT WHAT’S THIS

Right at the end, when you think we’re done, there’s one more flashback. A party of some sort, possibly New Year’s. The house sounds empty, there’s only the looping of the record player, stuck repeating the same five seconds again and again and again. Butterscotch and Beatrice are passed out drunk, judging from the empty bottles around them. Was it a good party? A bad one? She has her back to him and they’re about as far apart as they could get while still remaining in the room, but also, nothing’s broken? It’s impossible to know.

What we do know is that BoJack, aged about where we saw him in the “Free Churro” flashback so maybe seven or so? Very young, at any rate, and he’s alone. There doesn’t appear to be anything in the room for a child, so it’s probably fair to say he wasn’t included in the festivities. Did he have something to do instead? His own party maybe? Friends to play with, someone to watch him? Did he even get dinner? From what we’ve seen, “no” is a much more likely answer to any or all of these.

AND NOW THE FIRST TO PUNCH YOU IN THE HEART

Tiny BoJack knocks back several gulps of vodka (like a fucking pro, may I add), then crawls onto the couch next to his unconscious mother, pretending for just a few minutes that she’s cuddling him until he, too, will fall into a drunken slumber.

RIGHT SO WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO WITH THIS JESUS WEPT

Had you told me “Just wait, seven year old flashback BoJack is going to muddy the hell out of this” I wouldn’t have ... okay, well, I know the show, so I probably would’ve believed you, but I would’ve been preemptively grumpy.

This isn’t his fault! But it is! This isn’t his parent’s fault, but it super super is! Nobody MADE BoJack drink the vodka, as the scene goes to great lengths to show. There is nobody to tell him to do anything at all. Beatrice is three fucking sheets to the wind, she has no idea he’s there and he could have pretend cuddled all night AND stayed sober. Did baby BoJack, like adult BoJack, take the drink to calm his nerves for an expression of physical intimacy? Would baby BoJack have even known that was an option? Remember, this is framed as the answer to the question “When was the first time you drank?” Not “took a drink”, but “you DRANK”, the phrasing of which I think is important. It’s all about the root of the problem. What I get out of that question is then is “the first time you drank to numb yourself”.

Baby BoJack is looking at this disaster, this mess that is his every day no matter how many party hats and streamers you stick on it, and he wants anything else at all. So he turns to the easiest thing he knows will take it away the fastest. The situation isn’t his fault. The opportunity isn’t his fault. But the response IS, in a way that EVEN AS I SAY IT, makes me feel shitty.

CONGRATS BOJACK HORSEMAN FOR MAKING ME SEE A LITERAL CHILD SLAMMING BACK VODKA STRAIGHT FROM THE BOTTLE AND MAKING ME GO “okay, but”.

SEASON SIX SHOULD BE A WALK IN THE PARK

[magdaclaire]

don’t ask me 

read it on ao3

“What about you, Rhodes? You got a lady back home?” 

The question is met with silence as James Rhodes stands in the barrack, just offering a salute and a laugh in response. The asking officer snorts, turning and moving on with his day, but James Rhodes does not move on. He pulls a photograph out of his breast pocket, examining it with eyes that have seen it a thousand times, but still not enough times to get him through the harsh desert without looking at it again. It pulls at his heartstrings the same every single time, making him want to walk back across the sea and wrap his arms around the focal point of the photo and never let him go. His chest aches with missing his best friend, but the look of him still brings a smile to Rhodey’s face. 

His best friend, of course, is Anthony Edward Stark. 

The picture is one of their most innocuous photographs, just two best friends standing together, you can hardly tell that James Rhodes is ass over tea kettle in love with a boy he met when that boy was fifteen and he was damn near nineteen - he had no business - 

“No.” The brokenness of it startles even himself. 

He tucks the photo back into his jacket roughly, stands up and leaves Jones and Ortega in the Barracks, finds himself somewhere else to be. He and Tony have never been romantic. He and Tony will never be romantic. He’s Tony’s first friend, and was Tony’s only friend for a long, long time, such a terrifyingly long time, so long that James was scared that he would never be able to leave for the military at all. God, he hates himself every time he thinks about how much he fucking loves Tony. He didn’t love him, not like that, not when they met. He didn’t realise he did for the longest time, and maybe that was a shame. He didn’t realise he was hip deep in love with Tony Stark until the boy was nineteen and a cocaine nightmare that James had to scrape off of the floor. He didn’t pick up the cocaine until James was already signed up to be shipped off, until he was already committed. 

He doesn’t know if he’ll ever forgive himself for that. 

He knows, logically, that it’s not his fault if Tony goes off the deep end. That Tony is a grown man now and certainly was never James’s responsibility in the first place, not legally nor morally, just emotionally and by love and by family, goddamn it. Tony is family. James’s family is the only family that Tony has, too, because Tony’s dad did a number on him that James can’t undo, but maybe they can help, maybe a three year old’s birthday party, and a five year old that loves to make him come paint with her, and a family is enough. That’s one of the many, many reasons why James can’t afford to jeopardize what they’ve got. He’s the best friend he’s ever had. 

He put Tony in rehab before he shipped off. He made Stane promise to keep him in there until he was better. As much as he doesn’t like Obadiah Stane, they’ve always agreed on Tony. 

He writes a lot of letters to Tony, to his Mama, to his sisters, to anyone he can think about writing them for. He sends most of them. He sends all of the ones he writes for his Mama, most of the ones he writes for his sisters. He only sends about half the ones he writes for Tony; half of them are written for Tony, his best friend. The other half are written for Tony, the man he’s in love with. Those letters get burned in the barrels that Jones and Ortega light up with some of the other troops when the nights get cold and they have free time and a village close, otherwise they stay tucked in his jacket. Can’t risk anyone reading them. 

Can’t risk them getting mixed in with the other mail and actually getting sent. Because he does address them. He does put them in envelopes. It helps, sometimes, to pretend he’ll actually tell Tony someday. To pretend Tony might want that too. He doesn’t realise that he’s wandered until he hears someone calling his name, and then he’s hitting the ground because something is exploding. Gunfire. He doesn’t have a fucking gun with him. He’s going to fucking die, and he’s not going to see Tony again.

“Rhodes, get the fuck back to camp! Head west and stay low. Do not get hit or I swear to God, I will kill you myself. I’ll cover you,” Williams barks at him, the M4 in his hand glinting as he pushes Rhodey against the wall of a building. Cover. Fuck. Okay. Cover. “Don’t go toward town, we’ve got guns in town. Just toward camp. Keep your head on your shoulders, Rhodes. And fucking run.” 

So, James runs. He hauls ass more than he has ever fucking hauled ass before in his life, even if they weren’t supposed to be in combat today. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to see combat today. He runs anyway, runs west, and there’s gunfire above his head and he feels like a fucking coward and he pushes that down because he was told to run. He’s not gonna ruin whatever Williams wants him to be doing because he feels like a goddamn coward. He’s a good soldier. He’s a good soldier. He’s gonna stay alive. He has to. He has to see Tony again. God, Tony. He pushes the thought of Tony out of his head too because he has to, he runs west, and he hits camp. 

Jones is dead. 

It was a raid, something about how they’re lucky it wasn’t more of them, the way they’ve been goofing off and burning shit and they need to tighten up, but all James can see for a second is the way that he walked away from Jones what seems like minutes ago. He just saw him. 

For some reason, he’s a little less scared after that. Scared to die, sure. If he thinks about Tony, thinks about him for even a second, he’ll send himself into that desperate panicky space that he just can’t touch, so he doesn’t. He sends Tony letters, but he doesn’t write the letters to not-Tony anymore. But the thing is, he’s not scared of rising anymore. He’s not scared to be something. Frank Jones, of the the guys he joined up with, one of the guys he met at the fucking registration office, is dead, and he’ll never get to do it. James shuts up and does his job, takes ranks and takes praises and takes it politely and quietly and doesn’t scream when the nightmares come even when Tony comes knocking in his dreams and when it comes his turn to go home, they have to tell him three times before he agrees. 

By the end of his first tour, he’s a Master Sergeant. It’s still not where he wants to be. 

The entire flight home, he’s trying not to think about Tony. God, Tony. God. He’s flying coach (because he wouldn’t let Tony pay) from London to Boston when it all hits him. God, he almost hadn’t come home. God, he could have died so many times. And he never would have told Tony. God, he almost didn’t come home. And he’s so, so in love with Tony Stark it’s fucking embarrassing and he’s never fucking told him and he’s going to land in Boston in less than an hour and he’s gonna have to look at him after pressing this down for months and it’s gonna be ugly. God, his mama is gonna be there. He’s gotta get home to Tony. To his mom. To Tony. To Tony. 

He’s been promising himself that he wasn’t coming home to that boy, but God. James pulls himself together in an airplane bathroom just in time for the seatbelt light to come on. Get home to Tony. No more words unsaid. 

He has to get off of the plane in an orderly fashion and find his bag, but then it’s just looking for Tony and what’s gonna be a ridiculous sign. 

He’s not wrong. 

HONEYBEAR <3 

God, if James wasn’t in love with him, he’d fuckin’ kill him. 

He’s in army fatigues, and it’s a really, really bad idea, but God help him, he kisses Tony anyway. He almost didn’t come home. He kisses Tony and God help him, Tony kisses him back, Tony drops the sign on the ground and kisses him back. Vaguely, he feels his Mama pat him on the back and hears her say something about welcoming him home, but he’s kissing Tony Stark and he’s not paying his Mama nearly enough of his attention to know what she’s saying. He doesn’t pull away until Tony does, his hands on Tony’s lower back, towering five inches over Tony like he always has (used to be even more, Tony was only 5’4 when he got him, and James has been 6’2 since he was 17), and God, he loves Tony so goddamn much. A cleared throat damn near scares James enough to crush Tony against his chest, but he recognises the voice before he can. 

“Guess you don’t have a lady at home, huh, Rhodes?” Ortega asks, throwing a wink his way. James flips him off. Ortega walks away, doesn’t even kick up a fuss about it, and James really thought if anybody saw this, it would be a bigger deal. Instead, Tony 

“Come on, Rhodey, lemme take you to dinner. We have reservations,” Tony says, grabbing at Rhodey’s hands. His Mama reminds them there by stepping closer, pulling both of them into a group side-hug. 

“I’m gonna let you boys go by yourselves, if that’s alright. A lady can do a lot of things, but third wheel on her son’s long overdue first date? Not something she’s willing to do. Take him to a movie or something afterwards, won’t you, Tony? Must be boring over there with all that sand. You boys have fun,” Mama says, kissing both of them on the head before leaving, taking James’s suitcase with her without a moment of negotiation. James looks at Tony for a moment, their eyes meeting only briefly before they’re both bursting with laughter, leaning against each other in the middle of the airport. 

“Wanna come to the apartment to shower and change? I still have lots of your clothes,” Tony says, looking up at him with big brown eyes all shy like James wouldn’t follow him any fucking where, and James kisses him again, real brief this time, and picks up the sign from the floor. 

“Lead the way.” 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you have any fanficions that are very science-y, if that makes any sense? Like, focused on scientific things, in the writing style or actual experiments incorporated into the story itself? I hope I'm making sense

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh yeah, though a lot of the fics I read have it deep in the fic, lol. BUT!!!! Guess what?? Your ask is the lucky one that spawns a new list I’ve been waiting forever to post the next part for a tonne of new fics, LOL!

As always, gang, if you have a fic more tuned to what Nonny is ACTUALLY looking for, please add them here, LOL. Pt. 1 will have a lot more of what you’re looking for Nonny, since there’s a lot of my FFNet recs on that one, but both lists have great recs!! <3

IT’S AN EXPERIMENT! Pt. 3

See also:

It’s An Experiment!

It’s An Experiment! (Pt. 2)

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?" Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It's because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Undercurrents by entanglednow (E, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Disturbing Things, Crime Scene Fetish, Pseudo-Necrophilia, PWP, Masturbation) – “There, that's it, perfect, shut your eyes and don't move - and don't speak."

John's Missing Wednesday by PipMer (K+, 2,999 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Pre-TSo3, Non-Con Drugged John, Friendship, Experiment) –  "Now John I'd poison. ... Sloppy eater – dead easy. I've given him chemicals and compounds that way, he's never even noticed. He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue." – The Sign of Three. This is the story of that missing Wednesday.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock's kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Experiment by Gwen's Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w., 3 Ch. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}

Survival Strategies for the Domesticated British Butthole by Atiki (E, 6,183 w., 1 Ch. || Crack, Rimming, Anal Sex, Iced Lolly, Hair Removal, Depilation) – In which there’s a rimming disaster, Sherlock depilates his butt, everything goes very, very wrong and groceries are mistreated. This fic contains hair removal creme in a butthole, ice lollies in a butthole and John Watson's penis in a butthole. You have been warned.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Time on my hands by Mildredandbobbin (M, 7,179 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S3, One Night Stands, Mutual Pining, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Sexual Exploration / Discovery, Desperation, Body Worship) – Virginity’s a construct, a concept—what does losing one’s virginity entail for a gay man anyway? Sherlock wants to fill that particular gap in his knowledge but John won’t, can’t, never will assist and there’s only so much desperately unspoken pining even Sherlock can take.

Speak My Language by Itsallfine (T, 7,479 w., 4 Ch. || Thanksgiving, Love Languages, Love Confessions, First Kiss, John Experiments in Sherlock) – When Mrs. Hudson introduces John and Sherlock to the concept of the five love languages, Sherlock descends into a dark mood and John’s curiosity gets the better of him. What is Sherlock’s love language, and why does the whole concept set him so on edge? Part 1 of A Holiday Triptych

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

[fandomscombine]

The Hargreeves Kerfuffle Part 2: Family Reunion

The Hargreeves Kerfuffle Part 2: Family Reunion

The Hargreeves siblings x Hargreeves!Reader (Familial Relationship)

BG: The Reader is Number Eight. It follows how you fit into the structure of Season 1 and the family dynamic of the siblings.

This part follows the collapse of The Umbrella Academy during their youth and having the family back together after years apart for the very first time.

I have mashed up the information and some events from both the comics and the tv series. So a heads up for readers who haven’t read the comics, it was hinted in S2 but in the very beginning of the comics, it’s canon that Reginald is indeed an Alien.

The series will consist of 10 parts. Where the reader would have a focused interaction with each sibling. (Eg. After this part, it would be Luther x Reader, then Diego x Reader and so on! –Yes Ben is included)

WC: 4786 (never had I written so much for one part before!)

Contains: Angst. Death- Reginald and Ben (so not exactly a spoiler, but while writing Ben’s scene had my eyes water a bit.) Crap childhood and the Hargreeves being a mess.

A/N: You guys are literally the best! Reading your replies and comments about how much you enjoyed part 1 and are looking forward to the rest of the series, really warms my heart!

>>GENERAL MASTERLIST<<

>>THE HARGREEVES KERFUFFLE SERIES MASTERLIST<<

READ: [PART 1]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]

>>JOIN MY WRITING CHALLENGE!<<

~

March 21, 2019.  

Never had you thought that you would be back here, looking up the gates of The Umbrella Academy, 13 years later.

There was and still is so much pain associated with this building, this entity, this identity of The Umbrella Academy. That you hadn’t seen it coming- well not exactly completely blind to it. Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ upbringing of children-your siblings, your childhood- had always been shit but you had never come close to imaging it to be as emotionally and mentally damaging as it did.

Children at aged 7 finding out they had powers was great. To a kid, it was a dream come true to be a real-life superhero. It all started out as fun and games but soon, training started to be competitions to outshine your siblings-your competitors whist being told to work together at the same time. It was quite a hard concept to grasp as a young kid, but in order to get any attention and praise from a distant father, a kid would do anything.

By the age of 9, the superhero team of ‘The Umbrella Academy’ was officially announced to the world. The group consisted of the 7 Hargreeves children, publicly known as: Spaceboy, The Kraken, The Rumor, The Séance, The Boy, The Horror, and Foresight.

An 8th child with seemingly no superpower, had been secretly tucked away, hidden from the world and too, distanced away from her own siblings. It was though Vanya Hargreeves didn’t exist.

You did try your best to spend time with Vanya and keep the Sunday sister bonding time with her, but with all your training and missions, combined with all her violin lessons and some other private lessons she often go on with in long periods of time - though she wouldn’t mention what they were- there was absolutely no time to be in each other’s presence, so soon you along with the rest of your siblings slip away from Vanya.

At age 10 was a big year for the Hargreeves siblings, they had kind of successfully protected the city of Paris from the chaos of the Eiffel Tower being a spaceship- yes it did flew away but at least the people were saved- The mission became world wide news and soon every move they made caught the public’s eye. With this led to more intense training and additional etiquette workshops to better the group’s public image.

Reginald being a helicopter parent took a toll on the children, who had coped in their own ways. Luther taking the role of ‘leader’ to heart, Diego with his never ending hero complex, Allison using her power to get whatever she wanted, Klaus fell into the world of drugs and alcohol, Five-the rebel who thinks he’s smarter than everyone even dad, Ben into the world of video games, Vanya became ever more quiet and more to herself, and you-a yes person to dad who calls you his most valuable asset that has ever crossed his path, never wanting to let him down.

Things really started to get out of hand at the ripe old age of 13. Breakfast had been a mess, Five had a massive argument with dad and stormed out of the house. You ran after him, caught his coat just as he passed the gate- the very gate you are standing in front of now.

‘FIVE! WAIT!’

‘WHAT?’ He turned, looking angrier as ever.

‘Please don’t leave.’ You place your hand on his shoulder- damn when did he become taller than you? ‘You both can talk this out. Rationalized things out’ You pleaded.

He shook your hand away. ‘Talk? REALLY Y/N? You think good old dad would dare listen to someone younger than him? TO HIS OWN CHILDREN?’ He snorted. ‘You are daft y/n. I thought you were smarter than this-‘ Five sighed. ‘But a guess you are too much of a daddy’s girl to see things clearly.’

‘I know you didn’t mean that’ You stammered, not letting the tears fall. ‘that’s just your anger talking.’

‘oh but I do mean it. Now if you’d excuse me, I have to get going to prove dad wrong.’

Five makes a step forward but you blocked his way

‘GET OUT OF THE WAY Y/N’ He pushes you. ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE ANYMORE.’

As you fell to the ground, you see him blip away.

That was the last time anyone had seen Number Five and his final words still haunts you to this day.

‘get out of the way y/n! i don’t want to see your face anymore.’

To make matters worst from having a sibling disappear and to never come back was to have another sibling lose his life.

The media was quick to publish the news. It was all the tabloid and news outlets seem to care about. The headline would vary but all in all still carry the same heart-breaking news. Be it from ‘The Horror dies in mission.’ , ‘The Umbrella Academy loses the life of another of its members.’ to ‘RIP to teen superhero Ben Hargreeves aka The Horror.’

Oh Ben, dear Ben. Why must he be taken away? You thought. Why?

The mission was meticulously planned and prepared for. You were sure to have extracted all the information on what was to go down and what the villains’ moves were from your vision.

You had memorized that every aspect of that dream- you had 2 weeks to prepare. Everyone was supposed to be safe, but why wasn’t Ben?

Why didn’t reality play out as to what you foresaw? You had never slipped up before. Why had the one time you did cost you the life of your beloved brother? Why?

While sobbing your eyes out onto Ben’s grave, a memory of what seemed so long ago came rushing back.

~

>>‘I’m sorry y/n.’ He said leaning on your door frame.

‘Ben!’ You exclaimed. ‘I’m so glad you’re back up and running!’

Ben was caught off guard. ‘You—You’re not mad at me?’

‘Why would I be mad at you?’ You questioned, genuinely confused at your brother’s words.

‘Cause, Cause I almost got you killed. I am a monster.’

You sat up straight at those words, your ribs hurt a bit at the sudden movement, but you didn’t care. Your brother was blaming himself for something he couldn’t have controlled.

‘NO BEN!’

Ben jumped from your sudden outburst.

You motioned for him to come closer.

‘Ben…’ looking into his eyes. ‘Ben you are no monster.’

‘But—’

‘uuh uh I’m not done’ You held his hand in yours. ‘You are no monster what happened then was an accident, nobody knew, heck nobody expected powers to just show up. It was beyond anyone’s control. It took us by surprise.’

His shoulders relaxed.

‘It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened.’

He gave you a bone crushing hug. ‘Thank you y/n. You don’t know how guilty I was feeling.’ Voice muffled by your shoulder, which is now wet with his tears. ‘I kept thinking about the pain I caused you and I wasn’t allowed to leave my room even when I begged dad to see you and say sorry. y/n’

‘Shhh shhh’ Rubbing his back. ‘It’s alright Ben. What’s important is that we’re all here now. Alive, Safe and sound.’. <<

~

‘I’m sorry Ben…’ You choked out.

‘I’m so sorry Benny…’ Wiping his gravestone of your tears. ‘I—I got you killed. I am a monster. I am THE monster.’ You hiccupped. ‘It is MY job to keep everyone same, to do the reconnaissance, to ensure that everyone in the frontline is safe. It is my power to foresee what could go wrong, to avoid disastrous mistakes. And….and I failed, Ben. I failed. I failed you, dad, The Umbrella Academy.’

‘I miss you Ben so much…’ You lie down with an arm across the lawn. Picturing that is was him you’re hugging, that he is really there.’ more than your annoyingly sweet ass could ever believe. I wish you were here Ben, safe and sound. And if you could hear me Ben, I wish you could forgive me.’

Your eyes slowly fall shut from the emotional guilt you’re feeling but a warm breeze passes through like a warm embrace lightening the heavy burden within.

A soft whisper of reassurance and familiar words brings you to peaceful rest.

‘I forgive you y/n. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened.’

You stirred from your sleep as you felt yourself lifted from the ground.

‘Careful Diego! You might wake her up.’ You hear Klaus say.

All this trauma, stress and was just too much to handle by minors and as quickly as all your powers came, the same goes for the people who left.

Klaus was the first to leave the academy at age 16, who choose to be self-checked at a rehab centre, stating that that was a way healthier environment then this shithole that was ‘home’.  Who could blame him? Especially when you yourself were planning to leave.

As much as you wanted to get up and leave in the dead of night, you can’t. You don’t have the heart to leave your remaining siblings behind. No, not in this environment. If you were to leave, you wanted them to go with you, to at least know they would have a good life ahead.

Under Reginald’s watchful eye, it would take time to sort the plan out, but it would be worth it.

And you know just the person to talk to.

‘Heyya Diego.’

‘You’re up to something y/n/n and I don’t want to be in any part of it.’ He says without glancing your way. ‘Not after the pineapple incident.’ Diego’s eyes finally landing on you.

Rolling your eyes, you chuckled. ‘Oh come on Diegs! That was years ago! It was just a childish prank—’

Diego gives you the finger.

‘-Oi! It is not MY fault what Luther did to you; besides you were supposed to take the EAST stairwell, NOT the West.’ You say matter of factly, shaking your head. ‘Ughh no, we are getting out of topic. Diego, I need your help and you have to promise not to tell anyone-’

‘You’re devising a getaway plan, aren’t you?’

Your brows scrunched together. ‘How’d you—’

‘I’m not blind y/n, I recognised the look of someone who too is planning to escape.’

You raise a brow. ‘Too?’

‘Yes, Too.’ Diego edges closer to you. ‘Now, why don’t we save the trouble of potentially ruining each other’s individual schemes and join forces. Team up. More brainpower. And whatnot. Deal?’ Offering his pinky out.

You ignored the outstretched gesture. ‘What happened to being a lone wolf huh?  I thought that was your thing now?’ You countered.

‘Like a said y/n, the more brainpower, the higher the success.’ He explained. ‘Say, we do manage to get out or perhaps just leave, like Klaus. Where would we go? Where would you? Hmm?’

‘I… I…’ You honestly don’t know.

‘Exactly. That’s why we team up and once we’re out of here. We stick together for a while till we get back on our feet and figure out what we want then go our separate ways.’

You nod, digesting his words. It seems like a solid plan with ample flexibility before deciding on what to do with your life after. But….

‘Okay…..’

‘Okay!’

‘…On one condition. It would not only you and me. We’ll try to get to convince the others to come along too.’

‘What?! y/n no, that’s too many people on the plan-‘

‘More brainpower, higher the success. Your words Diego. Not mine.’ You retaliated. ‘Besides, we can’t just leave everyone here. It’s miserable here. They’re family Diego.’

‘Fine we’ll tell Luther and Allison.’

‘Everyone, Diego.’ You stared him down. ‘And that includes Vanya. No buts.’

‘Ugh.Fine.’ He points a finger towards your face. ‘We tell Luther, Allison AND Vanya. But I swear y/n if anyone of them rats us out or backs out of the plan. We leave them behind. No pity if they choose to stay in this shithole of a house. They are old enough to make their own decision and to face the consequences.’ He leans back to the bed’s headboard. ‘That’s my final offer. Deal?’

‘Deal.’ You interlock your fingers, sealing the pinky promise.

It was easy to get Vanya on board, as she was the child that received the crappiest treatment from dad. Allison was hesitant at first but after convincing her the real world had so much more to give compared to that of the imaginary perfect bubble she created for herself here in the academy with the use of her power, she was on board.

Luther that ever loyal ‘leader’ of the academy would never dare cross dad, the idea wouldn’t have even crossed his mind. Diego had failed to make him see reason and so have you. Luther only came around to be a part of the escape because Allison had agreed to it.

It took almost 6 months. The time has come. You all had saved up enough money to rent a loft apartment downtown and pooled enough to last at least 3 months on your own.

At 1:00 am.  All the remaining 5 Hargreeves are to ready with their backpacks to sneak out in groups, boys and girls, and meet at the rendezvous point, Giddy’s Doughnuts. There, a van would be available for them to drive to the apartment.

The boys were to go first, as to let Diego deactivate the security features of the house while Luther stands guard.

It was only supposed to take 15 minutes tops, it was 20 minutes past now. Something was wrong.

Deciding as a team to check up on the boys, you, Allison and Vanya head down to the foyer.

Upon arrival, you see Luther with his hands covering Diego’s face, Diego who seem limp as a log.

‘Luther what’s going on?’ Allison’s voice rang out beside you.

‘I’m sorry….’ He looks down unto the unconscious Diego in his arms. ‘I just… I just couldn’t.’

‘Number Eight! How could you! How could all of you! Three! Seven!’

The room seemed to turn colder by the sound of the voice. You turn and see Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

‘Dad…’

‘YOU ARE ALL A DISGRACE.’ Reginald spitted.

‘But dad!’ Luther pleaded. ‘I was the one who informed you about their plan!’

‘ENOUGH! NO MORE OF THIS FOOLISHNESS, BACK TO BED---’

‘That’s right NO MORE dad!’ Shouted Allison. She glances at dad then at Luther. A frown etched her face as she commanded. ‘I heard a rumor that you couldn’t move your legs.’

The effect was immediate. The lower half of Reginald and Luther stayed still as a rock while they tried their best to break free. But alas, Allison had the upper hand. ‘I heard a rumor you let us go freely.’ At once, both men calmed down.

And to add insult to injury. Allison focused on Reginald and rumoured ‘And you would leave Diego Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves, Y/n Hargreeves and Allison Hargreeves alone.’

Luther’s betrayal felt like a stab in the back.

Moving on and creating a new life from the ground up for oneself was hard but having your siblings with you had definitely made it easier.

It took a while to get the hang of things, being 4 young adults with nothing. You missed Mom and Pogo, but you knew that they, like Luther would stick with Dad.

Vanya was the first to take up stack, she provided the finance to pay rent and groceries with the salary she would get from her violin performances at the local theatre. Soon Allison would also chip in from the money she received from her acting gigs.

Diego showed interest into joining the police academy while you wanted to get away from the lifestyle as much as possible, opted to move across the country and pursue tertiary education-because that was what normal 18-year-old do right? For once you want to be ordinary and what better way than experience what student life is all about.

Though there is one teensy detail that was hindering your application. You were home-schooled by your robot mom. There weren’t report cards or grades that any university would accept. Even if there were, you wouldn’t want to go back to that dreadful house.

 Both not wanting to lose your newfound passion, you and Diego had an enormous favour to ask.

‘NO not a chance!’ Allison crossed her arms.  ‘It’s unethical!’

‘Yes we know-‘ you replied.

‘But it’s the only way.’ Diego reasoned. ‘It’s not fair for y/n and I to not be able to follow our dreams and to finally FINALLY move on with our lives, Ally. While you and Vanya get to live out yours.’

You nodded along. ‘We ask you just this one thing and we’re out of your hair.’

Allison looked between you two as if to decided whether it would be worth it. ‘Fine, just this once.’  She sighs. ’And this doesn’t get out kapeesh?’ pointing her finger.

‘kapeesh.’

~

‘I’m gonna miss you so much!’ Vanya admitted.

You pulled both your sisters into a hug. ‘I’m miss you gals more!’

Allison wipes her tears away. ‘Don’t forget us okay? Remember we’re only a text away.’

‘Tell Diego that I’m gonna miss kicking his butt when he come back from his officer training, ye?’

~

Over the years you hadn’t lost touch with your family. It’s been a while since you’ve all together physically, but you do video chat every once and a while and you have a general tab on each of your siblings. Vanya is currently the 3rd chair violin at her orchestra, Diego had channelled his inner batman and believe to be a vigilante keeping the streets and public safe.

As for Klaus, Diego had told you that he hasn’t managed to keep off his ~happy place~ and had seen him in and out of nightclubs.

Allison….Well who wouldn’t know about what she’s up to. A-list celebrity with numerous critically acclaimed movies to her name, one half of Hollywood’s hottest couple and amazing role model for mothers. Ahh Claire that sweet angel, who says that you’re her favourite aunt, that smile of hers melts your heart.

The last you’ve seen of Luther is when his journey to the moon has been televised a couple of years ago. There’s been no news since.

 The rattling of the gate brings you back to the present.

‘AH yes, Miss.y/n. He has been expecting you.’

‘Pogo!’ You exclaimed, wrapping him in a hug.

‘So I’m not to late then? Where’s mom?’

‘Grace is with Sir Reginald, my dear.’ Pogo leads you up the stairs.

Looking around, everything is as pristine as usual. ‘I see that nothing’s change’ You noted.

‘Yes, well I was asked to keep it as it always was.’

He opens the door to Reginald’s quarters. There on the bed was dad, looking sickly pale but still alive unlike to what you had seen in your vision.

Beside him wiping away the sweat on his forehead was mom. ‘Oh, my dear y/n I’m glad you could join us.’ She says as if years hadn’t gone by without your presence.

You reach the foot of the bed. ‘Dad…’ you begin.

But Reginald cuts you off. ‘Number Eight. Glad to see that logical and curious side of yours overrides that irrational emotive side.’ His voice weak yet still holds its signature condescending tone. ‘It is your disposition to the voice of reason and mysteries of the unknown that led you here, despite your supposed hatred towards me-‘

‘There’s no grey area, I do hate you.’

He waved his hand to dismiss your interruption.

‘As I was saying, it is of this reason- your control over the impulsiveness that is apparent to all of your siblings who lack control- is why you are my favourite.’

You scoffed.

‘It is true, my dear y/n.’

‘Oh please. You only see me as a “valuable asset”. Remember?’

Reginald nods. ‘I do, but I believe the exact words were “You would do great things Number Eight. To see into the future is a valuable asset to have indeed”. Thus, implying that your ability is the asset not you.’

‘Sure, just rub it in don’t you.’ Rolling your eyes.

‘I hope that you do too remember that also in my own words that you were and still are “the cleverest of the bunch”.’

‘So why am I here, you’re clearly not dead.’ You looked at him again.  You’ve never seen your dad so fragile ever. ‘….yet. So there must be something to do with that. Perhaps find your killer?’

On the bedside table, you took note of the cup of tea and medication. Your brain is in super speed, running through ideas on what could have cause him to be so sickly.

‘It could be your meds…..’ You look up. ‘Mom who else has access to Dad’s medication?’

‘Just us dear, Pogo and I.’

‘Number Eight there is no killer. I am dying because of old age, it is quite normal for-‘

‘NO No but the mortality rate is 350 years for the species of—’

‘Ah!’ Reginald’s face showed of surprise which slowly turned into cunningest. ‘so, you know then’ He chuckled.

‘Yes.’

‘Since when?’ He asked genuinely curious.

‘When we first showed signs of powers, some of your notes were written in a language I did not recognised.’ You recalled. ‘So, I did some digging, it took a while but when I found about the secret safe under this very bed and what it contained. Everything became clearer.’

‘Very good. Y/n. Nobody knew about the safe expect myself.’ He looked over at Pogo. ‘Did you know of it?’

‘No, Sir.’ Pogo admitted. ‘Not until now.’

‘Very well indeed. You knew all this time, yet you didn’t say anything. Why?’

‘Because it didn’t matter.’ You shrugged. ‘The only thing that matter in this household was our powers.’

‘Did the others-‘

‘No, they didn’t know. I hadn’t told a soul. It is not my secret to share.’

‘And soon it will be yours.’

‘What?’

‘Number Eight, it is without a doubt my time here is limited. Perhaps as little as an hour.’

Never had you seen someone talk about their death like this. You shiver at the thought.

‘By the fact that you are here now and had seen a vision of me dead means that the block I had place on you to prevent you peering into events regarding me is failing. Failing as my health is.’

You want to be angry. How dare he supress your power. But you stand still as a rock by his confession. ‘why?’ A soft whisper was all you could muster. ‘why?’

‘Because I had to keep my real identity a secret. To prevent you from exposing me.’ He coughed. ‘But turns out, you hadn’t need to use your powers to know that, as what you’ve told me.’ He looked at you with watering eyes. ‘You found that all on your own, yet you did not disclose anything.’ He reached out for your hand to which you accept. ‘For which I am delighted that at least I can say that I have one child, a daughter to be proud of.’

A daughter to be proud of.

You would like to think that you are strong and independent. And those are true. But that small child that all that wanted was to experience a parent’s love and affection. That emotional support of that small child which you thought you had successfully tucked away came clawing its way back to the surface.

‘y/n’ You had almost missed it, wiping away your tears, you leaned closer.

‘Listen carefully….’ Your dad’s chest was barely moving. It was a struggle for him to get the following words out. ‘The end is near, get the others ……and save…..the…..tttiiiimmm’

You never head what came next. Sir Reginald Hargreeves is dead.

Under the setting sun, Reginald looked at peace.

~

A half moon shines brightly above the house. It had been 3 days and 7 Hours since it happened.

Exhaustion is starting to catch up with you but there is still so much to do.

News channels had broadcasted the breaking news of your father’s death.

You had personally called your siblings to deliver the news, they are to arrive tomorrow for the funeral at noon.  

Luther who had been expecting to relay dad his daily report status on the space radio, cussed at you in anger-those were the first words you heard in 12 years- calmed down and said that he will be there in 3 days, in time for the funeral.

‘Sweetie, I brought you some tea.’

‘Thanks mom.’ You take a sip. ‘Hey mom did you think you’re gonna be alright now that you know…. That dad is gone?’

She runs her fingers to your hair. ‘I’m gonna be fine dear, I am stronger than you know.’

You smile at her. You just can’t help but to think what’s gonna happen to her now that your dad is gone. Pushing that thought away-like she said, I am stronger than you know.

 ‘Now, why don’t we get you to bed.’ She cuts you off before you can say a word. ‘Uh uh. You have done so much already. You need rest especially with the funeral in 9 hours. Pogo and I can handle the remaining task.’

‘Thanks again mom.’

She tucks you into bed. ‘Good night y/n/n. Sweet Dreams.’ She kisses the top of your head. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too mom.’ As she leaves your room, you realised that you didn’t want to be alone. ‘Mom…’ You called out, almost childlike.

‘Yes dear.’ Grace makes her way back in.

‘Well you stay with me? Sing to me until I fall asleep?’

‘Ofcourse dear.’ She smiles, pulling up a chair beside your bed.

The lull of your mother’s voice sends you to sleep with the memories of the childhood before power. When everything was simple. When there was love in this household.

~

You awoke to sounds of screams and flashes of blue light. You hurry to your window, it shows the courtyard, a ball of blue chaos small black figures.

You pull on your jacket and ran downstairs, the clock in the foyer shows 11:37am. Crap you overslept! But that means…..that the figures you saw were your siblings. There are early….that’s new.

You arrived in the courtyard just as you see Klaus throws a fire extinguisher at the blue light.

‘What are you doing?!’ Shouted Luther.

‘What is that gonna do?’ Allison questioned.

‘I don’t know!!’ Klaus turned around ‘Do you have a better idea?—Oh hey y/n! Nice to see you!’ He ran over and gave you a tight hug. ‘What a family reunion ehh?’

Before you could reply, the ball of blue gave out a crackle of electricity.

‘Everyone get behind me!’ Luther pushes in front of everyone.

‘Yeah! Get behind us.’ Diego chimed in, pushing Vanya closer to you.

Vanya ignores Diego, trying to get a better look herself. ‘It looks like something is coming through!’

The ball of light exploded, the sudden burst of energy was blinding that you had to cover your eyes.

Then nothing, total darkness.

THUD. You heard Vanya scream.

‘Argh!’

The blue chaos had expelled something….someone.

Luther was the first to speak. ‘Who’s there?’

‘Show yourself!’ said Diego.

As a collective group, you walked towards the mystery person.

Your eyes go wide with shock. No it can’t be, it’s impossible. You must be seeing things.

‘Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?’ wondered Klaus.

Klaus looked around and saw that everyone showed that same face of disbelief. Pleased to know that it wasn’t the drugs, he snickered. ‘Now THIS! THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FAMILY REUNION.’

Little Five who didn’t seem to have aged a day since you last saw him,

It’s been years but seeing him looking like he did back when you last saw him, you recall the last words he had shouted at you.

‘get out of the way y/n! i don’t want to see your face anymore.’

Five looks down at himself drowned in tattered oversize clothes, wining. ‘SHIT!’

Something is wrong, something is very wrong and you know it.

No way was this all a coincidence for your father to warn you about some impending doom and have Five to reappear 17 years later. It must be related somehow…What’s next you thought……For Ben to come back to life too?

END OF PART 2

READ: [PART 1]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]

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Would love to hear your opinion on the series so far too!

[tf2-hellhole]

May i have some retirement hc like the mercs ( and ms. Pauling) settled down with thier s/o maybe started a family and just enjoying life

Sorry this is like a whole essay, I just already had some personal head canons for this so a lot of them are in here

I always imagined that Mann Co. is forcefully closed a little while after the comics and the mercs are forced into retirement, so that headcanon kinda feeds into this

Scout:

Scout’s sad that he’s done with mercenary work, but he’s excited to see what his future holds.

He wants to have a bunch of kids, but nowhere near as many as his mother did. He knows his mother did her best for her kids, but it was hard for her to give all eight of her boys the attention they needed, as well as work several jobs to support them, and he understands that. So he wants to have like 3-5 kids.

He has his S/O move to Boston with him and auditions for and joins the Boston Red Sox baseball team. He plays for them for a few years and becomes one of the best players the team has ever had. He never says it, but he dedicates every game to his family, his S/O especially.

After he retires from that, he coaches a team at the high school he attended. He sucks at it at first but eventually becomes an excellent coach and his team wins many awards. All of his children are big baseball fans like him and all of them have been on his team at some point

Soldier:

Soldier honestly doesn’t know what to do with himself. He wants to go off to fight in Vietnam, but now he has his S/O to take care of! He can’t just leave them alone!

So for a while he doesn’t work (he doesn’t need to, as the mercenaries were paid a lot over the years) to think it over. In the meantime, they consider having kids; He doesn’t want many, only about 1-3

But then he realizes what he wants. He just wants to be with his family. Part of the American Dream is to have a happy, healthy family, though that’s not the only reason he wants to be with them. He does genuinely love them and would lay down his life for his S/O or his children.

He actually never works again (highkey because no one will hire him) and uses his savings to raise his family and enjoy his retirement with his S/O.

Pyro:

Pyro will live wherever their S/O wants to live, they don’t care at all.

They never get another job, as they don’t need one nor want one. They just want to spend the rest of their life with their S/O.

Pyro doesn’t care about having kids, but if their S/O wants to adopt some, they’ll let their S/O adopt as many as they want.

They just live out their lives going on adventures and exploring the world around them. It’s a very carefree and joyful lifestyle for them.

Demo:

For a long while, Demo is kind of depressed after losing his job. That job had meant so much to him. It’s mostly because of the emphasis his family has always placed on keeping multiple jobs, though it’s also because he will miss his friends dearly. He needs lots of encouragement from his friends and S/O for him to get up and find a job. He’s actually very qualified, so he could find several jobs in demolition for construction companies and things like that. So he finds a few jobs in Scotland (he insists on having multiple) and brings his S/O there to live with him.

Demo absolutely wants to raise kids with his S/O, and he wants around 2-4. He’s totally fine with adopting.

He goes to rehab to stop drinking before they have kids, though. He relapses a few times but eventually never touches alcohol again. He and his S/O are so proud of his accomplishment.

He, over time, becomes very successful selling and using his bombs, and his family lives in comfort.

Demo never realized how unfulfilled he was when he was working for Mann Co. he’s so happy he was able to change his life for the better and spend the rest of it with his wonderful S/O

Heavy:

Heavy immediately buys a home near the one he bought for his family in America, and asks his S/O to come with him.

He probably takes a job in manual labor, and publishes a few successful books over the years

He really wants to have a huge family, like 6-10 kids, but he feels like he’s too old to be having children, which makes him really upset. He doesn’t say anything but his S/O knows him like the back of their hand and can tell how he’s feeling. They suggest adopting children. He’s a little hesitant at first because he wanted his kids to be biologically his but he eventually falls in love with several of the kids they meet at the adoption agency and realizes being related doesn’t matter. They adopt the kids and Heavy loves every single one of his kids more than anything and he calls them his cubs.

He devotes his life and his work to his family and would lay down his life for any of them.

He goes into a depressive state after his mother passes away of old age. It takes a lot of work but his sisters, S/O, and children eventually pull him from this state, and he’s eternally grateful for that

Probably cries when he meets his first grandchild. He doesn’t sob or anything but tears are running down his face and he has the biggest smile anyone has ever seen on him

Engie:

Engie wants to own a farm more than anything. He wants to go back to Texas but if his S/O wants to go anywhere else, he’ll go if they can find a place for him to have a farm. They’re able to make money off of the productions of their farm, but Engie also continues to invent and makes money selling his creations as well

Engie also wants a big family, somewhere around 4-8 kids, and he’s cool with adopting if they can’t have the kids themselves. He wants at least one of his children to become an engineer, though he won’t complain if none of them pick that career path.

He dedicates the rest of his life to doing what he loves; Inventing and spending time with his loved ones. Even if he spends all day in his workshop, he always makes sure to spend the rest of the day with his family and spends a lot of extra time with his S/O. His S/O is his main encouragement when he’s having trouble with an invention. They always make him feel better about it when he’s feeling really frustrated.

Medic:

Medic doesn’t want to go back to Germany, he wants to stay in the States with his S/O. He sets up a small doctor's office to make money; The only reason he doesn’t experiment on his patients is because his S/O told him not to

Medic isn’t interested in children and also thinks he’s too old to be having kids, but if his S/O wants some, he only wants 1-2. He’d prefer his kid(s) to be biologically his even though he’d get a little worried considering his age, but he isn’t against adopting. He makes sure his kid(s) receive the BEST education and are able to pursue any career they want. Like Engineer, he’d like at least one of his kids to follow his career path but doesn’t mind if they don’t.

He spends a lot of time traveling with his S/O once the kid(s) are independent; He enjoyed travelling when he was a mercenary and wants to explore the few corners of the world he didn’t visit when he worked for Mann Co.

Sniper:

Sniper, in all honesty, wants to get as far away from Australia as he can. It reminds him too much of his childhood and his parents. So he’ll go wherever his S/O wants to go, as long as it’s not Australia. He still occasionally goes back with them just to visit his parents’ graves.

He probably continues doing assassin work, though sometimes he gets a little salty about the fact that it doesn’t pay as well as working for Mann Co.

He lives in his camper when he’s out working (he’s often gone for a few days to a week), but he absolutely buys a house for his S/O and leaves them there while he’s gone so he doesn’t put them in danger. He makes sure to call his S/O when he can while he’s gone, at least once a day.

He doesn’t think he could be a good dad and doesn’t want to raise a child because of this fear, but if his S/O really wants a kid he’ll give in. Like Medic, he only wants 1-2. But once the kids are with them he grows more confident over time. He still knows he’s not perfect but he knows he’s learning every day and thinks he’s doing a decent job.

Once he’s older, people don’t hire him as much because there are younger snipers with better eyes and quicker reflexes. It hits him like a truck and he’s really distraught over it for a while. But he realizes that he has tons of savings now and can focus on enjoying the rest of his life with his S/O.

Spy:

Spy wants to take his S/O back to France with him. If they don’t want to live there, he’ll complain a lot so they compromise with spending half the year there and half the year where his S/O wants to live. He has a ridiculously fancy home in France, and will buy an equally fancy one where his S/O wants to live.

Like Sniper, he continues working as an independent assassin, but he spends much more time away from his S/O than Sniper. Spy is still really terrified of commitment because he doesn’t want to put them in danger, so he makes himself feel better by staying away from his S/O for a while. It takes him a while to work up the courage to stick around more often.

He gets really scared if his S/O asks him about kids. Like, he wants to run away and never come back, he’s so scared. He doesn’t think he could handle a child. He tells his S/O that his age worries him, though that’s not the actual reason. He’s scared of the responsibility, and he doesn’t want a child to have a father like him. He’s let down the many children that he fathered throughout his life and he feels like he’s gonna let down his S/O and the child if they have one. But when he sees his S/O so excited about the idea of having a family, he gives in. He only wants 1 child, and wants to adopt.

At first, he’s kind of cold to the child. But as he spends time with them he grows attached to them fairly quickly. His S/O can’t help but smile when he holds the child close or smiles and talks to them over dinner if they’re an older kid. He starts to spend even more time at home to bond with the child and eventually becomes an excellent parent

Like Medic, he wants to travel a ton once the child is independent. He’s also seen most of the world and does it more because he wants to show his S/O the places he’s been.

Ms. Pauling:

Ms. Pauling is absolutely devastated when she loses her job. Her work was practically her whole life and now she doesn’t know what to do. She’s so shell-shocked that she needs her S/O’s guidance to find a new job. She finds an accounting job since she did a lot of accountant-type work while at Mann Co. but also does independent assassin work occasionally.

She never thought about having kids and panics when her S/O suggests having kids. She trained in killing people and hiding bodies, not raising kids. She does want to have 1-2 kids but doesn’t feel she’s ready yet. They do have/adopt 2 kids eventually, and it turns out she’s an organized chaos type of mom.

In the end, Ms. Pauling and her S/O live a pretty normal domestic life, though they sometimes go on weird adventures with some of the mercs when they visit.

[jancydroogs]

A little free write...

George and Nick break up. Ned sells The Claw back to George and opens a vintage auto restoration and “specialty repairs” shop. He buys a craftsman mansion near downtown and turns it into a boy's home.  

With seed money from Nick and Ryan, George opens a cafe, a pizza parlor and buys Johnny Mac's bar (re-naming it Buddy's) in addition to the Claw. Her sister’s help run what will become their family’s burgeoning hospitality empire. There is tension between George and Jesse who isn't interested in business and wants to go to the JC in hopes of becoming a marine biologist. George buys the Breaker Hotel later in her life. All of her establishments are notoriously (and conveniently) "haunted". Trip advisor stickers on the door and mentions on lonely planet-all the things. George becomes a rags to riches business marketing wonderkind about town. George struggles to be taken seriously by the old money investors and conservative business owners she must rub elbows with now. In the end she'll expand to Boston and NY and get into real estate and have enough money to throw in all their faces for the rest of time just like Nick whom she may reconnect with at some point.

Ryan struggles with alcoholism again, gets a DUI and enters rehab where he becomes interested in art. He gets involved in collecting and patronizing and when he falls in love with an artist he is inspired to become the Cathrine the Great of Horseshoe Bay: investing in culture, the arts and championing the environment and the education of young women in particular.  He gets his pilots license and flying in his vintage plane (restored by Nick of course) becomes a favorite hobby of his. He turns the Lilac Inn into the local girl's home.  He opens what becomes a renowned museum in honor of the the forgotten historical figures of New England in Boston. With the help of Carson he lobbies NYU to create a journalism scholarship in Lucy’s name.  He dies before he turns 60 in a landing accident while returning from a half hour flight he took to observe the bay on a particularly nice day.  

Bess acquires a student visa by becoming a cosmetology student at the local JC but doesn’t fit in and becomes an “illegal” resident again when she drops out of beauty school.  She’s a part time secretary for Nick and waitress at the claw again. She bungles Nick’s flow and he has to let her go at which point she finds a job in a bookshop after bonding with the manager over a mutual love of AJ Crane novels. She hones an affinity and strong sales numbers for the antique/rare book section and she uses her Newley sharpened expert eye to forge her papers all while angling for an apprenticeship with the mysterious owner which will allow her to begin building clientele amongst the wealthy collectors of Horseshoe Bay and get out of the counterfeit game she's been running on the side to get by. She fully embraces the dark-intellectual trope and pursues her PHD. at a historic, prestigious and secretive private school in Horseshoe Bay. She buys a dope ass queen-anne with a turret that she restores and lives in. She eventually becomes an art dealer (specializing in "rare objects" of course), chief buyer for the Hudson family trust and patron of the historical society.  After her eventual death at a ripe old age she gets a statue in her likeness, her house becomes a historic landmark and she becomes a legend in horseshoe bay for being it’s favorite Rich Auntie Supreme. Rumor has it her spirit still walks the town. Local legend says if you happen to see her ghost it’s an omen of good luck to come.

Nancy and Ace briefly open their own PI detective agency in Nick's building downtown. They begin to build a respectable reputation despite their youth. They assist Horseshoe Bay PD on "strange" cases, accept work from the town’s folk, and PI work from Carson. Nancy gets into Columbia and makes the tough choice to leave town for her education.  Grant moves in to fill her place at the agency. Things go well for a while but end up sideways when Ace suffers from an opioid addiction. Grant does his best to cover his brother’s tracks for a while but Nancy briefly must return from Columbia at his panicked behest to help him track down Ace when he goes missing on New Years Eve.  After a short stint in a detox center Ace decides to join the army on a whim without consulting anybody. He becomes a field medic first and an Army Ranger after that.

With the PI agency dissolved Grant joins the NYPD police academy (like his father *winkwinkwink*) after Ace goes to bootcamp and begins pursuing an advanced degree studying criminal psychology at NYU in hopes of someday working for the FBI as a profiler.  He naturally joins the nypd and becomes a rising star in his precinct. He and Nancy develop a close friendship while both living as students in the city and bond over their concern for Ace. Frant often lends her an assist, a quote, a clue or feeds her information for her stories.

Nancy shows up in the city at Columbia quickly becomes the darling of the journalism school and lands an internship at the school paper but after a promising freshman year is kicked out for breaking the school’s code of ethics whilst pursuing evidence that a cult is running a human trafficking ring fronting as a powerful and infamous secret society on campus that has been laundering it's profits through a fraternity's alumni donations by blackmailing a member of their executive board. After her expulsion she continues to pursue the story with encouragement from her friends and family  (in particular from Ace whom she maintains regular contact with via WRITTEN letters before he joins RRC. It’s romantic af but everything remains plutonic on the surface as is cannon, of course)  She publishes the story online. It goes viral and she's able to enter the workforce as a freelancer without her degree. She takes all kinds of assignments and has become celebrated for her thought pieces on buzzfeed, bellingcat, jezebel etc... but her bread and butter is working the crime beat in NYC.

Her sudden notoriety and reputation for being young, talented, and tenacious mean her colleagues are intimidated by her brilliance and they make her work especially hard for their respect. Despite her commercial success she's a loner and mostly isolated in the field.  She's thrilled when Bess shows up to the city looking to lay low for a while after the death of her mentor and burning some bridges in order to get out of the forgery game. She finds that she fits into city life and likes being close with Nancy and Grant after Ace's departure and George and Nick's breakup. She decides to move and she and Nancy become roommates. Bess gets a job as a bartender at Nancy’s favorite spot (a real dime store detective novel dive bar that's open in the middle of the day with low light and brick walls; maybe live music on the weekends but no marble countertops and tapas and shit) while attending Hunter college for her degree in cultural anthropology. Nancy eventually writes a true crime novel that becomes an infamous cult classic based on her experience uncovering her mother's murder and another based on her experiences with Gomber.

Bess’ graduation coincides with Ace’s homecoming and Ryan’s wedding to a renowned local artist. The crew returns to Horseshoe Bay for a couple of weeks before the ceremony for the subsequent reunions/celebrations.  While in town, the disappearance of a local girl proves to be the work of a serial killer when her body along with another girl's are found stuffed in a tree in the Gorham Woods. Nancy is hesitant to run down the story even at the behest of her editor’s pleas but decides to stay and investigate at George’s request when an arsonist burns down The Claw the night of Ryan’s reception.