#Coffee and Alzheimer's disease

[thecoffeetongue]

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New Post has been published on https://coffeetongue.com/coffee-and-health-separating-fact-from-fiction/

Coffee and Health: Separating Fact from Fiction

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[caramelkoo]

before we shatter — jjk [two]

genre : established relationship, idol!jungkook

word count : 5.1k

summary : dating an idol is fun, they said. having a family with one is fun, they said. Until you're falling face forward because of your reality. A reality where Jungkook dreams of a future and a reality where your own future is collapsed.

chapter warnings : ANGST, eventual fluff, mentions death of a loved one, mentions of Alzheimer's disease, strong language, mature, cheating (not by the main characters), jungkook will piss you off but he's deserving of love too :((, slight making out but nothing else. i think that's it, please mention if i missed anything.

a/n : OH MY GOD IT TOOK ME FOREVER !!!! here it is my pookies <333 i hope this will heal the past trauma that part one caused yall omfg. i love you so much and send an ask if you want to. You're so so cherished.

Jungkook’s fingers press on the digital lock before it beeps, indicating the door has been unlocked. 

“Babe, I’m home” 

He expects his girlfriend, Nicole to say anything in response but, on the contrary, all he gets is pure silence. Not a single person breathing the same air as him inside the house. His eyebrows crease in utter confusion and he wonders if he she went outside in order to run any errands.

Nicole is a fashion designer who he met when she was appointed to design his concert outfits for the group’s previous world tour. At first, there were some stolen glances, eye contacts, and innocent touches but when he found himself looking for her in the room full of people, it had to be more than that. 

At the risk of sounding like a nervous wreck with zero experience with women, Jungkook had walked back and forth approximately 46 times before he took up the hatchet to ask her on a date, to which she’d smirked and whispered a yes in response.

Listen, Jungkook is a confident man. Add a confident yet adorably shy woman beside him and you have got yourself the perfect mix of charisma and charm. Not to say that he was not totally enthralled by her. He genuinely wanted to get to know her better and that’s not only because she was confident, of course. 

Ordinarily, he’d find her on the couch going through her designs or making herself the 50th cup of coffee. It all really depends, but tonight the eerie silence surrounding him makes his stomach hurt. A nagging feeling arises in his chest and he hopes everything is okay. 

He releases a breath and walks further in towards the bedroom. Who knows, she got tired of working all day and went in there to take a nap. 

Much to his disappointment, just as his hands grip the doorknob, a moan comes from the other side of the wall and he freezes. 

“You’re so good to mommy, aren’t you?” 

He can’t mistake the voice even if he tries to. He hears it all day, every night by his side. 

Nicole has complemented him in every spectrum of their relationship. She’d been equally successful, equally fun and adventurous, and matched every desire and aspirations of his.

Tow bodies, one soul if you will.

Turns out, she lagged behind on the spectrum of honesty. 

Knowing he can’t be just standing there and not find out who she’s been fucking behind his back, he twists the knob and pushes the door open. The moan which earlier caused his heart to momentarily stop now turning into a full blown scream. 

“What the fuck?” 

You might prefer to think that Jungkook was the one to exclaim that, but no. Sitting on the bed with wide eyes and no clothes is his manager, Tae moo. Next to him is Nicole, trying to cover herself up with the help of the duvet as if she’d not spent the majority of nights sleeping beside Jungkook in the very same state after he’d made love to her. 

“Jungkook, baby. I can explain” 

His jaw goes tight, voice turning shaky. “Get out of my house.” 

Fierce eyes are pointed at the manager the whole time and he doesn’t even bother to look at Nicole. As if someone had set his non-existent pants on fire,Tae moo hurries and plucks whatever fabric he can from the floor and rushes outside. 

When Jungkook finally glances at Nicole, she’s got the same look on her face which she does when she wants something from him but can’t get herself to form the words. Desperate and pleading. 

He pinches the bridge of his nose, tone acidic when he asks, “Why are you still here?” 

“What?” 

“Why? Did he fuck the common sense out of you?” 

She blanches at his words, clearly not expecting him to talk like that. “Please don’t talk to me like that. I told you I can explain.”

Jungkook can’t help but let out a chuckle infused with bitterness and disbelief, “What could possibly justify you fucking my manager, Nicole. Were you lonely? Did I not give you enough love and attention? Was my dick not enough for you that you just had to jump on another one?” 

Every word that comes out of his mouth has an intention of hurting the woman in front of him. Standing there when Jungkook tries to figure out any possible cause of this betrayal, he registers something.

While Jungkook was thriving because of the fact that he has a woman who supports him and keeps him on his toes, holds him when the world gets mean to him, the said woman was using him to feed her ego. He had been indispensable for her to gain the popularity that was left for her. The truth that he'd been a ladder all along for her in order to climb till success hits him like a torrent and an ache throbs through his chest. 

“Why would you need another designer when I’m here?”

“Jungkook c’mon, all my friends are gonna be there. Don’t be a spoilsport.” 

“Do they not let you post your girlfriends on your official instagram profile?” 

Everything falls into place like a missing piece of puzzle fitting into space. Additionally, Nicole had not even gotten close with any of Jungkook’s friends’ girlfriends and he’d decided not to dwell on the fact for his own peace.

Arguably, some people just don’t click and that’s fine. Except, those people don’t denounce other women behind their back. Her adulterated personality was oozing out of her and he managed to miss it. 

“I don’t know, babe. Her dress was too revealing. Take it from a fashion designer when I tell you she was not fit for that dress” 

“Isn’t she too touchy with her boyfriend in public? I mean I understand you’re in love but jeez” 

It is often said that when you’re in love, you’re unable to see your lover’s flaws because you get blinded. Blinded by their beauty, their charm, and their affection towards you. Safe to say, Jungkook can relate. 

“Get out”

‘Please just liste-”

His pitch goes higher. “RIGHT.NOW” 

Subsequently, he had been off the market for two whole years. Unfortunately, though, he couldn’t escape the endless amount of impolite and not to mention personal questions about his relationship during the interviews. 

“Jungkook, you were seen coming out of several restaurants and clubs with a woman a few years back, but we’ve not seen her for a while now. Is there something you’d like your fans to know?”  

“The ladies out there are having a field day because it seems our favourite superstar, Jeon Jungkook is single again” 

“Is there any chance of us getting to see the mysterious woman again?” 

Fucking exhausting. 

Then, one fine day, he met you.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Maybe, the trust issues made home inside of him after he found his ex-girlfriend naked and sweaty on his bed with his manager. Maybe, you can blame it on the fact that he had still not gotten over the agony caused by his past relationship.

It’s almost like the words that come out of his mouth throw him two years back to the very same room where he tasted the vile taste of betrayal. 

“Tell me, honey. Is it the important thing you wanted to talk about but held back just to get a good fuck out of me?” 

The sentence is so absurd and disgusting that you can’t stop your hands from connecting with his face with a hard force. His face turns sideways as his skin stings because of the slap.

“Watch your tone with me, Jeon Jungkook.” The words are barely a whisper as you gulp, flying into a rage and hoping he eats his own words. 

You’re half naked, your hair's a damn mess and you probably have a swollen face with boogers in your eyes, but at this moment, you have to stand up for yourself without caring about any of that. You can’t be the person to take first hand beating of something you haven’t even thought of doing.

When he looks back at you, you wish someone was holding you because your legs feel weak. The look of betrayal and anger is long gone and now the only thing that exists behind those big doe eyes is hurt. A pain which makes you want to disintegrate. 

“Baby, I didn’t mean-”

“You know what, _____? I would have seen this coming. I was a fucking fool to even wish for a normal bond with someone without some shit happening to us.” 

You watch him storm out the door, slamming it so hard it rattles on its hinges after throwing the blue file on the bed. Your feet remain frozen to the wooden floor and you hope he comes running back in, says he’s sorry and he wants to talk it out. 

“Some shit”. He just called the whole situation shit.

A terrible labyrinth of anger, guilt and grief traps you as you find yourself wishing that a tight hug could fix the scattered pieces and mould your relationship back into one beautiful piece.

The words on the report stare back at you as they somehow feel more painful now that your boyfriend is aware of them. He knows he’s got into something he hasn’t signed up for and the thought that before you could even explain everything to him, before you could even tell him that you would rather die but hide anything let alone information as huge as this, he’d walked out. 

Placing the file on the nightstand, you go through your usual morning routine. Take a shower, change into fresh clothes and take your supplements.

Everything is blurry to you, the feeling of loss lingering deep in your chest, slightly aware of the fact that physically, Jungkook is nearby, mentally? You’re not so sure.

Despite your better judgement, you walk towards the kitchen with the motive of making your breakfast and you find Jungkook looking for something under the couch with two suitcases standing in front of the door. Was he gonna leave without letting you know? When did he even pack?

You take a deep breath and release, knowing exactly what he is looking for, “Are you looking for your glasses?” 

He straightens back up and holds your gaze. There’s a bit of delay before his answer reaches your ears. “Yeah um, I can’t seem to find them anywhere” 

A minuscule smile forms on your face, “They’re inside the bedside drawer. I kept them there cause you know, you tend to lose them” 

He doesn’t share the humor as you feel a pang in your chest intensifying. It’s suddenly so quiet that you can hear your as well as his breathing. And it’s uneven. Has your home always been this quiet? 

You clear your throat, eyes finding the suitcases behind him, “Heading somewhere?” 

He does the same and looks back at you. “Yeah uh, you remember Jimin calling me yesterday when we-,” he pauses, “Well, I have to go overseas to promote the album and get done with some other formalities” 

You flash him an understanding smile, feeling utterly shattered inside and not sure if you should ask him as to why he didn't bother to let you know or just let it slide. The question is right at the tip of your tongue but thinking better of it, you gulp it back down. 

“Of course. How long will you be gone?” 

He slides his hands inside his front pockets and sighs, “Probably a week. You can’t be precise when it comes to promotions.” 

“Alright,” you halt, “Uh.. do you want me to get the glasses for yo-” 

“No, I've got it.” He says as he excuses himself. When he comes back, the glasses are resting on his nose making him look even more beautiful than he already is in your eyes. 

A faint memory of you wiping his glasses for him with your slip dress comes to the surface and you hide a smile.

You watch him round the kitchen counter and pick up his jacket. As he grips the suitcases with both of his hands, the gleaming bracelet catches your attention. 

What are the odds of him preparing to live without it on his wrist? What are the odds of him preparing to live without you? 

You’re not surprised when he begins walking out the front door without saying a word. But you know you have to. You have to let him know that you don’t have any intention of giving up on him. 

With your palms turning clammy, you speak and prepare yourself for whatever comes back as a response, “Wait” 

His feet come to a stop, but him not bothering to turn around does nothing to ease your ache if not adds to it.

Swallowing, you continue, “Whe-when you come back, I want to talk it out. I want you to know that you mean too much to me for me to hide such a major information from you and one that has to do with both of us at that. Yes, I held back for a while but that’s just because I wanted to forget,” the damn tears are threatening to fall yet again, “I wanted to feel for the last time what it's like to be in your arms, your warmth before I break your heart and mine in the process,” Your fastening heartbeat causes you to grip your cardigan in a tight fist, 

“Can I at least get a hug?” 

His shoulders visibly go tensed as he admits over his shoulders, “I’m afraid if I so much as look at you for more than a second, I will break.” 

With that the front door opens and closes, leaving you with nothing but warm tears. You try your fucking hardest not to take his statement as face value but god you want to curl up and die. Although, you know none of this is your fault. If only you could see what the future holds, everything could have been much more bearable. 

You’re scared you’ll lose everything— him, your happiness, your future together. 

You’re scared you’ll burn.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

For as long as he can remember, Jungkook’s childhood had been filled with vivid memories of his parents’ kisses, them being madly in love with each other, dancing in the kitchen, planning picnic dates and thousands of giggles. He had been blessed with a mother who loved his father more than Jungkook has ever seen someone loving the other person, and his father reciprocated the love tenfold. 

Along with the love he also had another emotion wrapped around his heart in a tight grip. Fear. Fear that all of that would dissipate. You know, how sometimes when you’re too happy, there’s just a fucking voice inside of you screaming, “It won’t last long”? 

That’s exactly what he used to feel. The root of the fear was a mystery to him and he even tried to forget about it, thinking it might be just a pipe dream.

Except, it was not. 

And then one day, like a bolt from the blue, Jungkook’s dad was gone.

He still remembers the day very clearly when he saw his dad’s body being carried away on a stretcher, heavy and cold. Meanwhile, he just stood there with fat tears streaming down his cheeks, his mom arms stopping him from running behind his father.

Then, if that was not enough to break him, he lost his mom. Not physically but mentally when her mental state started to deteriorate over the next few years. Before he knew it, his mother totally forgot about his identity as well as his father’s. Apparently, that left a scar far too deep.

What’s it like to forget the ones you love?

Even though Jungkook had made peace with the fact that his mother will never return the same way he’d known her for, a small part of him still hopes. After all, what’s so wrong in hoping? 

His feet drag him down the long hallway filled with wooden brown doors until he stops and stands before one. He clears his throat as he watches the woman just lie there and stare into nothing in particular. 

When he gains her attention, a smile breaks out from her lips, “There you are. I knew you would come, Jimin.” 

Jungkook runs a palm over his chest, a futile effort to soothe the ache.

“It’s Jungkook, mom. Your son” 

“My son? How do you know my son?” The vivaciousness long gone from his mom’s voice.

He swallows and gets further inside the room. He doesn’t try to push it because he knows for a fact that even if she recognizes him today, if tomorrow he comes back he’ll be either Jimin or Namjoon or some random man he’s never heard of. 

“How are you doing?” 

His mom sighs, a pout on her lips as she looks down, “Still the same. I asked the nurse for a cup of tea hours back but she seems to have forgotten about it. That witch.” 

He chuckles, sitting himself on the stool. “I’m sure she’s bringing it in for you.” 

Her eyes move over to the window and settle on the maple tree outside. Just watching it. Jungkook ponders if she remembers chasing him under the maple tree when he was a child. It’s his favorite memory.

“A kind woman stopped by a few days back. God knows what her name was but she had this.. sad look in her eyes, as if someone had snatched something away from her and she’s broken over it. I wonder if people look at me and feel the same amount of sympathy that I did towards her that day. I’m not a fool, I know I’m sick. I could be dead by tomorrow for all you know,” she releases a small sigh as Jungkook waits for her to continue. 

Except she doesn’t and in that moment, Jungkook just…. knows. 

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Jungkook’s eyes have not left the silver bracelet on his wrist for a while now, brushing it with his fingers lightly as if that would help him rectify his mistakes. He wants to slap himself whenever he remembers the look on your face when those cursed words left him. You looked so broken, so tired.

The woman his mother mentioned is you, it’s so obvious. Something about the way she told him about you made him want to swallow a fistful of iron nails. Fuck even that would hurt less. For a second he saw himself at her place and that made his insides twist in such a way that he didn’t understand. 

What if one day he just wakes up and doesn’t remember you? What if it all just disappears? Her memories, your smile, your sweet giggles, your moans, your touch. 

The thought itself makes him want to rip something into pieces not to mention rip his own heart into pieces. 

Jungkook can hardly walk through the veil of darkness which fills the hall. He holds his phone screen up for light, calling out for you.

“Honey, you home?” 

No response. With his heart in his throat he starts moving towards the bedroom. Gripping the doorknob, he twists it as the door clicks open. Before he can start panicking because of the empty room with nothing but his own stuff scattered around, a cough reaches his ears. 

His brows crease into a frown, confused. “_____, I’m starting to worry.” 

Another cough follows, making his breath pick up its pace. Following the sound, he finds himself standing outside the guest room’s door. Wasting no time he pushes the door open as he watches you on the bed covered in layers of blanket with sweat all over your forehead.

He rushes to you in a quick second, heart beating fast. “Hey, hey baby,” voice coming out as gently as possible, “You okay? Why are you here?” 

Your eyes land on his face as you sniff. “This is what happens when you eat your weight in a bucket full of ice cream on a Sunday night.” 

Jungkook’s expression flashes with relief, grateful that it’s nothing more than an unfortunate cold. 

“You should leave.”

He blinks, “What?” 

“You're more contagious to the cold than anyone I know, baby. Go. I’ll be fine” 

To be honest, he could give zero fucks about catching a cold right now. He holds your gaze for a long moment before standing up. 

A quick look of hurt passes through your eyes, but you recover just as quickly. 

“If you think I’m gonna leave you here in this state then you underestimate my love for you, honey. I don’t know if you remember, but you wanted us to talk once I come back and I want you to get better and get talking, alright? God knows how I managed to have survived two weeks without you by my side, but now that I’m here, you’re going nowhere out of my sight.” 

“Jungkoo-”

He interrupts, “As for those reports, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t care if we can’t have kids normally as most people do,” he runs his hands through his black locks, messing them up as he continues,

“In every sense of the word, I just want you. I want you right here with me, holding my hand and making me the happiest motherfucker ever. We’ll try something else. We’ll adopt, we’ll go with IVF, we’ll-” 

“Jungkook” 

“Yeah?” 

“Breathe, baby” 

So he does as he fills his chest with air, taking a moment to relax. Reaching over, you take his hands in your soft and warm ones, caressing his knuckle tattoo.

“Do I have the permission to be selfish just for one more time?” 

He offers you a weak smile, “You were never selfish to begin with, my love.” 

Your hands pull him towards you until he’s lying down by your side. He wraps his arms around you, holding you so close you’re almost one.  

Jungkook presses a kiss on your clammy forehead followed by one on the tip of your nose, “You okay?” 

“I am now” you whisper, letting your head drop weakly forward to pepper kisses across his hoodie clad chest. 

“I’m gonna speak now and I want you to listen, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Your fingers clutch his hoodie in a small fist as you begin, “I lied about babysitting Coco and I’m sorry about that since I know we promised to never lie to each other, but I had a reason for that. I was at the hospital when you called. I knew you would be at the studio and I didn’t want to put you through that when you’re working,” 

You look up at him, eyes full of love and affection, “When I was young, my mom showed me an orange butterfly which I immediately fell in love with. I played with it for hours before I went back inside the house. I let it go, wishing it would visit me again. I had to let that butterfly go, Jungkook. Because I knew I couldn’t keep holding onto it. I was gonna do the same with you that night. I had it all planned out, I was gonna let you know about my infertility and then I was going to ask you for a breakup. Thankfully, I didn’t. Do you know why?”

Resigned, Jungkook shakes his head as a teardrop falls. 

“Because some things and some people are worth staying for. You’re worth staying for. I was stupid enough to think that I would survive without you, that I would be able to weather the storm without you by my side.” 

You’re sobbing now, sniffing as your fingers wipe Jungkook’s tears away. 

He cups your cheek, his fingers brushing featherlight on your skin as the most tantalizing caress. “You don’t have to. I’ll never leave you, baby. You’re it for me. I can’t breathe without you, _____. Do I want a family one day? Of course, Do I want it without you in it? Over my dead body. You’re my present and I very much have the intention of making you my future too. With all due respect, but something as trivial as that report is not gonna stop me from doing that.” 

A heavy moment of silence hangs in the air as he just stares at the love of his life, he didn’t even realize when the power came back, illuminating the whole guest room.

You are the first one to say, “I love you.” 

“I love you the most.” he declares as his lips brush with yours with immense gentleness and love. 

“Jungkook?” 

“Yeah honey?” 

“What do you think about calling our daughter, Ji woo? If we ever have one?” your voice comes out muffled because of the way you’re snuggled against his chest. 

His lips stretch into the biggest grin ever, chest filling with pride because the woman who he loves the most in his life asked to name the girl he’d love the most in his life after a woman who loves him the most in her life. Even if she doesn’t know it. 

“I’d love that.” 

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Few years later 

“What-” you gasp as your body goes tense for a quick second before relaxing against Jungkook’s chest. His arms circling around your waist, making you feel cozy and at home. 

“You really need to stop scaring me like this.” 

“Why? I can’t hug my wife now? I know you secretly like back hugs.” 

Wife. The word still holds the same love and power as it did the first time he asked “Will you be my wife and make me the happiest man in the world, honey?” 

You let your head fall back against his chest and look up at him, “You know what? I do.” 

“I know you like the back of my hand, wifey.” he says, leaning down to drop a light kiss on your forehead. 

“I love it when you call me that, but right now you’re distracting me.” Your hands start running over his forearms, caressing. It’s like a habit for you. You need to touch him whenever you can, feel him close to you as much as possible. He’s always so warm and soft, it makes you all fuzzy on the inside. 

His mouth nibbles on your ear, making you shudder. “I don’t think so. Besides I barely get to have you for myself these days.” 

You sigh and just let yourself relax in his hold. The past few days have been hectic to say the least and nothing can heal you better than being in your husband’s arms. “How was practice, baby?”

Jungkook has been working on a new album resulting in him spending most of his time in the studio. You miss him, of course, it’s only normal, but you’re also beyond proud. He took a momentous break from his work the same year you guys were facing issues and he didn’t so much as leave your side, promising to always stick around. Through thick and thin as he said in the wedding vows. 

He ignores your question and sucks on your neck, making you groan. 

“Jungkook” His lips find yours and he steals a kiss, hands pushing under your sundress as he caresses the back of your thigh. Goosebumps break out all over your body and you curse at the fact that he still holds so much power over you. Your legs go weak and your clutch onto his shoulder for support. 

As he lets your lips go with a loud pop, you open your eyes and look at him. 

“What are the chances of me getting lucky tonight?” he asks, hands still under your dress, now grazing your ass. 

“It-”

Before you could answer him, the sound of tiny footsteps running towards you both reached you. And there she is, your prettiest five year old letting out the biggest shriek after she sees her daddy all but falling down from enthusiasm.

“Da!” her feet pick up the pace as she runs towards him with arms wide open. 

You detangle yourself from your husband’s hold and he takes a step back.

He crouches down and catches your little girl, Ji woo, in his arms. Groaning as she crashes into him. “Ooff” 

“Da, I missed you. You’re coming to the picnic with us, right? Mommy says you are.” 

You watch him laugh and peck her chubby cheek. “Of course, sunshine. Nice daddies never miss picnics with their daughters, do they?” 

As they talk like their goofy selves, you just take a moment and watch. By the grace of all things good, you’ve had the chance to visit almost everywhere in the world, but this right here is the best view. After musing about it, you and Jungkook decided to go with IVF and you’ve not regretted it ever since. Hands down the best decision of your life. 

Waking up and seeing your husband with your daughter sprawled on his chest as she lets out tiny little snores, watching her fall in love with the same eyes as you did, going on family dates, going to his concerts wearing the same outfits and whatnot. It’s more than enough for you to thank your lucky stars that you stayed. 

“Mommy, daddy says he’ll not steal my strawberry this time.” 

You offer her a gentle smile. “Daddy is a little liar, baby” 

She lets out the cutest gasp ever, cupping Jungkook’s face with her tiny hands. His face is so big in her hands it’s almost chucklesome.

“Is that right, daddy?” 

He playfully narrows his eyes at you as you stick your tongue out. “Mommy’s just jealous because you love daddy more. Now, what do you think of making those bracelets together?”

Ji woo’s face lights up like the fourth of July and she starts squirming like a little butterfly in his arms, flapping her arms. She’s been asking for her own bracelet after seeing the silver one on Jungkook’s wrist for years now. He suggested custom making one and she got so excited one would think he got her a pet dog or something. Although, he’s considering that too. Nothing surprising there.

When it comes to Ji woo, Jungkook is a loser in love. You’ve never seen him looking at another girl the same way he looks at his daughter. Besides you, of course. It’s innocent, pure and all things perfect. 

Before they both leave, she gives you a kiss on the cheek, covering her eyes when your husband pecks your lips.

Your eyes find the butterfly tattoo on your wrist, sometimes seeing it in your daughter. Excited, lively and someone who makes you want to wish it never disappears, the only difference?

Jungkook’s not afraid that everyone will let him go and you’re not uneasy about how you will have no reason to not let go. 

You’re healed.

He’s healed. 

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[squadmuse]

COUPLES HEADCANONS

THE SPENCER REID EDITION

Gives nose/forehead kisses

Spencer does! He prefers kissing you on the lips but doesn’t pass up giving you kisses anywhere else.

Gets jealous the most

You do, and Spencer does too. It’s not that either of you are disloyal it is more that you know how great the other is and wonder how they picked you out of everyone else

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk

Spencer does, and he’s got a tried and tested hangover cure ready in the morning for you. He makes sure you text or call him, there have been too many unsubs taking advantage of drunk people over the span of his career in the FBI.

Takes care of on sick days

You both do. Spencer might be a known germaphobe but he is a fountain of knowledge and that includes medical care, home remedies and more. You enjoy taking care of Spencer and make sure he’s rested, fed & medicated.

Drags the other person into the water on a beach day

You do, Spencer hates the beach. But he goes because he loves how you love it and he won’t pass up the sight of you in a bikini and seeing you wet from the waves

Gives unprompted massages

Spencer, he’s read a lot of books on traditional Chinese and Thai massage therapy among others and seeing your stressful career, he makes sure to take care you of however he can.

Who drives? Who rides shotgun?

You both switch. Spencer drives and so do you, but whenever you’re pregnant, an overprotective Spencer has you ride shotgun as you’re carrying very precious cargo.

Brings the other lunch at work

You do. Spencer will live off of extremely sugary coffee if he can, and end up eating antacids due to a ton of dairy products. So if he’s at Quantico, you bring him some vegan or dairy free lunch and catch up with him.

Has the better parental relationship

Spencer has a strained yet loving relationship with his mother and has no contact with his father. You have a loving relationship with your own parents but as you live and work in the D.C metro area, you are long distance.

Tries to start roleplaying in the bedroom

Spencer, kinky little genius! You take a while to come around to it, and refuse to roleplay Doctor Who in the bedroom.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer

You and Spencer are great drunk dancers whenever you are drunk.

Still cries watching Titanic

You do, and Spencer tries to cheer you up with random facts about the survivors of the actual accident.

Firmly believes in couples costumes

Spencer. He has you tag along with him and Penelope to ComicCon and while he dressed as the Fourth Doctor & Sarah Jane or as Jon Snow & Ygritte, or as Jack Skellington & Sally.

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

You do. It is very hard to find a good gift for Spencer and you usually get him a collector’s edition of something or first edition of a book or something signed by his favourite author or scientist.

Makes the other eat breakfast

You do. Spencer again skips breakfast or just eats a piece of toast or bowl of cereal. You make sure he eats something more heartier and healthier.

Remembers anniversaries

Spencer does, he never ever forgets it and always surprises you with the best he can.

Brings up having kids

Actually Spencer does, and it is a big thing for him to do so after his worries about the genetic changes of schizophrenia and/or Alzheimer’s Disease being passed on… but he realises how much he loves you, sees how much you love his godsons and realises he wants to be the father of your babies.

[galaxiasgreen]

🍺🖤This Hell We Create

Sebastian x F!Muggle!Reader with eventual smut, minor Garrinis [E-rated, 4.8k words]

"You ain't got a bad face either, lad. You looking for a partner? My daughter is quite beautiful." You hope Sebastian will chalk all that to the mania, but he wiggles his eyebrows at you. "That she is, sir."

You have a bad day – Sebastian seeks to change that.

[MASTERLIST][FIRST][PREV][NEXT] [read on AO3, read on Wattpad]

TW: alcoholism, grief, coarse language, dementia/ Alzheimer's disease.

3. good days, bad days

When Sebastian collapses onto the barstool, you can see the withdrawal written like plain English on his face.

"You know what I want," he croaks. "Please."

It's another typical weekday in a late summer heatwave. You pour him a stout and slide it across the counter, and as he guzzles it greedily, Adam's apple bobbing to the rhythm, you note the haggard look on his face. He's handsome, that's for sure, but today he's also worn down, stretched and contracted by the universe itself to leave this brittle husk behind.

"You looked like you needed that."

He slams the glass down.

"There are good days and there are bad days," he says, panting hard. "Today... today is a bad day."

He drags his thumb up his temple, plying one of the veins that protrudes across. He's sweating, from the heat and the relief, and you watch a fat droplet roll down his face. It sets a course along his jaw, down the sharp angle of his chin before it finally drips onto the back of his hand.

"You shouldn't stop immediately," you say, forcing yourself to look away. "You need to give time for your body to adjust."

"You think I don't know that?"

You say nothing.

He recoils a little. "Sorry. Shouldn't snap."

"Irritability," you mumble. "It's a symptom."

"That explains why everything is so fucking annoying today." His eyes meet yours. "You must've seen loads like me."

"Eight years' worth, yeah. You're not the first and you won't be the last."

"Have you ever..." He swallows. "How many have beat it?"

The answer leaps fully formed onto your tongue. None. None at all. You've seen people try, make promises to God when they're broken and on their knees... and you've seen those same people stagger their way back to your counter, begging for respite the only way they know how. Sometimes you never see them again, when someone imparts the sad news dressed in funeral black.

"Just because I ain't seen it doesn't mean it didn't happen – doesn't happen. It's possible." Sebastian is much too clever for lies and sickly sweet encouragement, but you stare at him straight anyway. "You survived the passing of your sister. That toughens a person. You can beat this."

Yet he thrusts his empty glass in your direction, a wordless plea that breaks your heart. You refill it in exchange for more coin, and Sebastian doesn't take his eye off your movements – pulling the leaver down, pouring the dark gold liquid, letting the foam float to the top. A skein spills over when you pass it back to him, and he draws his tongue up the glass slowly to lick it clean. You track it hungrily.

"It's all bloody pointless, isn't it?"

You focus on his eyes again, coffee, ground, chewed up and spat out.

"I'll keep trying. Every day I wake up and I just want to drink, and I tell myself no, because that's how it's supposed to be, but everyone knows I'll come back here. If Ominis took my feet I'd crawl on my knees, and if he took my knees I'd drag myself by my hands. I'd find a way. It just doesn't stop."

"It stops," you say, "when you choose to stop."

"It doesn't work like that. You know it doesn't." He gazes at you stormily over the lip of his glass. "Just because you choose to free yourself from the maw of a beast doesn't mean it'll let you go."

Last time he got like this you threw it back at him. This time it feels different. Sebastian isn't angry at the world – he's just angry at himself, and that only warms you with tides of pity and sorrow. In the next stride you're hoisting up the bar door and plonking yourself onto the stool at his side, aware of his scent, musky with the heat, and the way his eyes hook onto you, never once leaving yours.

"I don't do... comfort," you warn him. "Trying to beat addiction is shit, and I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry that you're in this situation," you clarify. "Here's the thing though: you're going to fail. You're going to fail over and over. But what really matters is you don't give up when the going gets tough. You get up. Because the only one who can beat this thing is you."

He drinks again, slower now, contemplative, and he manages to stop a third of the way down.

"Not bad advice for someone who doesn't do comfort," he mumbles. "When I used to live up north, I got to know the barkeep at my local, too. She gave good advice. Must be in the profession."

"Must be all the listening to so many people whinge."

"You love it really." A smile peels out from his melancholy, which is gratifying to see. "Her name was Sirona. She was like a mother to me."

"Sirona?" You scoff. "You make a habit being on first-name basis with every barkeep, Sallow?"

"Nah, not all." He winks. "Just the pretty ones."

You roll your eyes and go to stand, get back to work, but Sebastian catches your hand. His fingers, though large and strong and ribbed with veins, are deceptively soft and gentle, and his thumb grazes over the skin, lighting up some darkness in your chest.

"Thank you."

It's simple, but it means the world.

When you wake one morning, the sunrise has long sheared away the darkness of your bedroom in the eaves.

That means you're late.

You curse yourself and throw off the blanket. It must be after seven. Damn it. You forgot to set your alarm clock last night, so overwhelmed with fatigue that you hit the sack immediately upon closing up the pub. Scrambling to make up for lost time, you throw on a day dress and apron and sprint downstairs.

Your mother stoops over the window sill overlooking the beer garden. The gnarled ridge of her spine protrudes out her back. What little hair she has is wispy and white, like a tuft of cloud, and her fingers crackle when they touch the glass, bony and desiccated from years of hard work.

"Mama—"

She doesn't turn around. "It's a pretty day, isn't it, dear?"

You frantically check she hasn't hurt herself – a scrape, bruise or God forbid, blood – but she seems unharmed, and you send a thank you upwards as you usher her towards the armchair. "It is, Mama."

"Where's Fluffy? Haven't heard him barking up a storm yet."

"Running around outside, Mama. Sit here. I'll get you breakfast."

Instead you race across the hall and almost crash into your papa, clenching the bannister for dear life. His withered face, sagged with age, makes no issues for his beaming smile, boasting his yellowed teeth.

"I dreamt of Margate today. We should go there, don't you think, dear? Last time we went you devoured three scoops of ice cream in ten seconds!"

Margate, the famous beach town over in west England. Your parents took you a few times when you were young, the only family day trips you could afford. The memories are fond and sentimental, though you haven't had three scoops of ice cream since you were about five.

"We'll see, Papa."

You slip a hand beneath his arm, trying not to flinch at how frail he is, and help him to the parlour. Your mama has moved from the chair again, back at the window, staring at the endless blushing sky. It's approaching the later months now, when the morning is a balancing act between sunlight and ink, and you have to squint to see the tiny mound at the back of the garden, where Fluffy has been buried for four years.

It doesn't matter that they forget, that they can't help themselves anymore. They're all you have left.

You feed them, you dress them, you wash them of their soiled clothes. You tuck them into their respective armchairs, then take a moment to clean yourself, checking periodically between sponging away last night's sweat to make sure they haven't fallen over and knocked into something. There's no time for grub now, so you head downstairs just as the front door bangs.

"Ada, hello."

Ada's low-cut dresses don't surprise you anymore; you don't have to imagine what she does after she's finished here for the day. She tears the cigarette from her lips and blows the smoke out, the stink of it stifling.

"Late today?"

"I slept in."

"Still counts as my time. And I want payment upfront."

It's getting more costly – two shillings, six pence – but you pay it, because the alternative is much worse. Ada bites each coin before pocketing them and silently making her way upstairs.

You snatch an apron from the side. It's time to work. You count the stock, clean the tables, accept deliveries and prepare food all before the other staff arrive – Bonny gives you a sweet smile.

"You aw'right, Miss?"

Her assaulter behind bars, she's been feeling much better about coming to work. It'll never be the same for her, but you take some comfort in knowing there's peace in closure.

"I'm fine. Can you rake the garden today?"

"'Course, but..."

"What?"

"Your hair's got a mind of it's own, Miss. You sure you're okay?"

You finger-comb it down. "Just get to work, please."

Your stomach growls when you open, but you push through for the late morning crowd. The in-house chef cooks breakfast, breads soaked in hot lard, smoked kipper on rye, beef gruels and broth, which only makes you long more for a moment to sit down. I woke up late, this is my punishment. Things only exacerbate when two – two ­– clumsy patrons drop their glasses, leaving you to clean up the shattered remains, and another woman gives you a bollocking for bungling an order.

Not even a surprise visit from Sebastian at eleven o'clock brightens your mood.

"You're early," you remark, when he sinks into his stool.

He raises an eyebrow. "And you're sharp. I thought I'd pop in. Bad day, huh?"

"I'm not an alcoholic."

"Hey, even you normal drinkers have Bad days."

Then today is a Bad day – a really fucking Bad day.

"I slept in. That's all."

He grins. "Guess it's my turn to comfort you, huh?"

"Don't need comfort."

"Like a fish doesn't need water?" When you shoot him a steely glare, he simply sticks out his tongue. "You're being crabby today. Ever thought about taking a break? Having a night out with friends?"

"No time."

"No time for friends?"

"No time to make them."

"Well, you've met Ominis. How about we share?" You wince; Sebastian laughs. "He's all right once you get to know him. You should meet Garreth too, he's a good sport. What about your parents?"

The bad mood colours with fear. "What about them?"

"You said they were retired. Do they live in the country?"

"You think I can afford to buy them property in the country?"

"Where do they live then?"

"Not here."

"Why not go visit them?"

"I see them every day."

It slips out. Fuck. A stupid mistake. His lips roll, but hopefully he can't see the way you've bent the truth.

"And you?" you ask quickly, busying your hands so you don't have to meet his gaze. "What about your parents?"

"Ah." He draws his thumb pensively across his cheek. "They're dead."

"Oh." Bugger.

His lips split into a grin. "The look on your face... relax, bar girl. It was a long time ago. Happens to everyone eventually."

You don't want to think about that.

"Tell me about them," he says, making himself more comfortable as panic runs riot in your bones. "Are they as crabby as you?"

"I am not crabby."

You are a little crabby.

"Nowt much to tell," you mumble, before he can retort. "Both of them worked here their whole lives, barely a break in between. Mama took some time off when they had me, but while I kipped she'd come down to wait tables."

His gaze flickers upwards. "You lived upstairs?"

Fuck. "Yeah. I mean, I do now, they don't."

"So you're here all the time? What do you do for fun?"

You slap your hands to the counter. Sebastian doesn't even flinch.

"I don't have time for a bloody interrogation, Sebastian. Do you want a drink or not?"

Instead the bastard leans a head in his hands, and bats his eyelids like a dewy-eyed debutante.

"You should swear more. I like it when you're crabby."

"You see that pot hanging up behind me? You're going to become very acquainted with it if you don't shut up."

He leans close until his breath whispers along your nose.

"I like you most when you're angry at me."

Before you can grab the pot, the stock room door groans opens.

"Dear!" cries your mama.

Every muscle in your body goes cold. You swing around, sure you misheard the voice, but it is her, smile wide and ignorant, shuffling towards you with the pace of a determined turtle.

You freeze. How did she get downstairs? And why? What the hell is Ada doing? And why isn't it the thing you're bloody paying her for?

"Mama," you step forwards to intercept her, "you shouldn't be here—"

"Oh, hello, young man," she says, regarding Sebastian. "My, you're very muscular, aren't you?"

You flush. "Mama—"

"Part of my job, ma'am," Sebastian responds smoothly. "I see where your daughter's beauty comes from."

You lose the ability to speak. My beauty? Your mother chortles. "What a charmer. What are you having?"

There's no beer in front of him, but still he says, "Stout."

"Ah." There's a twinkle in her eye. "That's my favourite of the beers. Did you know the name comes from its strength? Not one for the weak-willed."

"I didn't know that." His eyes slide to you. "Good to know I'm not weak-willed."

"I will never forget my first sip. Seventeen, managed to flirt with the barkeep for a pint to impress another man. Was sitting in that very stool. I knew he saw right through me but he gave me a pint anyway. Awful, didn't have the stomach for it back then, yet I drank the whole thing. Funny. I never saw the other man after that night, but the barkeep, well." She gives you a squeeze. "I think there was magic involved."

"I'll bet," Sebastian replies. "It's always good to believe in a little magic."

"Mama," you say tiredly. "Let's get you back upstairs."

"I miss Margate," she says as you take her arm. "We should go to Margate, shouldn't we, dear? The beach is lovely. Your father misses it so much, and you can have your ice cream."

"One day, Mama."

Sebastian gets to his feet. "Let me help you."

You can't say no. He ducks beneath the bar door and snakes his arm through your mother's. She looks at him strangely.

"Hello there. Where did you come from?"

It feels like your life is collapsing. This part of your image, carefully crafted to hide a terrible secret, has cracked upon the face – and what good is porcelain when it is no longer perfect? You put one foot after the other, mindful of your mama's pace, and Sebastian's, as you lead her into the stock room, and to the stairs leading back up to the house.

Ada is halfway down once you shut the door behind you. Her face is flushed. "Swear, I went to help your papa wash— I was only gone for two seconds—"

"Later," you snap. "Just do your bloody job now."

She heads back up the stairs, sheepish, as you and Sebastian follow up, and finally get her settled back into her armchair. You're frighteningly aware of how silent Sebastian is, how his eyes dart about, drinking in the details of your home, your space. Already you're thinking of a hundred excuses. She's just sick, this isn't normal, she didn't forget who you were in the space of a minute. It's useless now.

Sebastian will see through it all.

He doesn't say a word when you return back downstairs, after you lock the stockroom door. The day has turned from Bad to Catastrophic – the best you can do now is damage control.

Your pour him a stout and slide it to him.

"Please don't tell anyone."

He stares at it, confused. "What?"

"You can have free drinks, forever," you whisper. "Food too. Whatever you want—"

"Whoa, bar girl!" He laughs. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't need charity."

"Money then?"

"What makes you think I'll tell anyone?"

You flick your gaze between his eyes, but he's quite serious. "I know they're... they're..." mad, you can't say aloud, "but please, you can't tell anyone. I can't have them sent away to an asylum. They're all I have left."

"I'm not going to tell anyone," he says softly. "I promise."

It's not very reassuring, frankly. You paid Ada to take care of them, and she couldn't even do that. But Sebastian's never broken his word before, not with you, not with Bonny. You just wish he didn't know – wish you could erase the memory like it never existed at all.

"Are you going to take them?" he asks, breaking your train of thought.

"What?"

"To the beach?" Sebastian leans his head in his hands again. "Your mama wanted to go, said your father did too..."

You blurt a shrill laugh. "'Course not. The nearest beach is miles away and I ain't got the time nor money to get them there."

"I can take them."

That feeling you've been ignoring stirs again. You push it down.

"Yeah, all right, Sebastian, and I'll quit my job tomorrow to pursue a passion in ballet."

"Bet you'd look good in a tutu."

You flush despite yourself. "No offence, but you can barely walk in a straight line, and they can't leave the house!"

"I can be sober for a few hours. And if it's only one morning it'll be fine, right? It's not good to keep them cooped up there. Your mama seemed fine."

You shake your head. "No, no, she— and my papa— they aren't well." They're not right in the head anymore. "I appreciate the offer, but—"

"That's too bad." Sebastian shrugs. "I've decided to decline you."

"You— what?"

"I'm taking them to the beach." He makes it sound like he's offering to pick up some groceries at the market. "What day works best? Tomorrow? Meant to be nice weather. You can leave Bonny in charge for a bit."

"Are you nuts? How would you even get them there?"

"If I tell you," he grins, "I'll have to..."

"God, be serious, for once in your bloody—"

He takes your hand suddenly. This is only the second time now, but again you're totally arrested, focus pinpointed on the tenderness with which he squeezes you – with grip as firm as a promise unbroken.

"I can do it."

You swallow the hope down, but it persists like a lump. Is it a trick? Have you been lured by silver words and pretty smiles? Sebastian is a master of pretence and possesses not just a dark streak – but a demonic one. What if he hurts your parents? What if he turns them into the authorities? They're vulnerable people, and they're all you have left. Yet you can't bring yourself to say no anymore. You can't bring yourself to push him away, not when it seems like he would carry the world on his shoulders for a glimpse of your smile.

To make my parents happy, you correct yourself tersely. Parents, not me. He's doing it for them. That's why you're doing this too – for them.

"All right," you concede in a whisper. "But you can't just take them. I have to go, and I need to know logistics."

"I meet you here before dawn, I'll collect your parents, and you make you way over before us. I'll even let you ride my carriage."

"You have a carriage?"

"I can get one."

"You can... get one..."

"A man can't get a carriage now?"

"Not by tomorrow."

"I know the right people."

"In the police?"

He winks. "If I tell you..."

You roll your eyes. "Okay, so let's say I manage to believe you'll conjure a carriage from thin air as you escort my parents in God-knows-what contraption. How long will it take you to get there?"

"Don't worry about that. I'll be there before you."

The retort leaps onto your tongue, but when he gives you that look, the low-lidded eyes, the flicker of mischief, daring for you to challenge him, your words promptly back down.

"Trust me?" he asks.

How? The question burns, desperate for answers. Sebastian is an elaborate puzzle made of a thousand pieces, except most of them are missing and the few you have don't fit together.

"I'll try." You take a deep breath. "They're all I have left, and I swear to God, Sebastian, if you hurt them... I will hunt you down."

Sebastian slides the correct change across the counter, then downs his drink in one go.

"Oh, bar girl," he says with a laugh, "I'll be disappointed if you don't."

"We're going to the beach today."

If you were a lantern, the way their faces light up could fuel you for a hundred years.

"Margate?" asks your father, facing his wife. "You hear that, darling? The beach in Margate. I've been wanting to go there."

"Not Margate," you explain, and you hate having to temper their expectations, "but yes, the beach, Papa."

"We'll get you ice cream, dear," says your mama.

"I'd like that," you say, smiling.

You left Bonny in charge, giving her the keys and a list of hastily-scrawled instructions about what to do and when to do it. Bonny reassured she'd leave everything spick and span, and you're forced to believe her. You haven't taken a day trip out in – well, since your parents were healthy, and the anticipation excites you as it makes your stomach churn.

At precisely five-thirty, there's a knock at the pub's door. With the carriage and horses waiting on the road as promised, Sebastian leans against the wall with a cigarette jammed in his mouth. He jabs the orange stub into the wall when you bring out a sack of your belongings.

"You smoke now?"

"Good morning to you too. If you must know, it helps relieve the withdrawal." His gaze rakes you up and down, making you blush before it hooks on your footwear. "No, no. Go put some boots on."

"What's wrong with these? They're day shoes, easy to slip on and off for the sand."

"Trust me, you'll need boots."

By the time you've changed into a battered pair, Sebastian has already introduced himself to your papa.

"In the 70s, cor, I tell you, I was a looker," he says, and Sebastian, to his credit, appears genuinely interested. "Face like mine could win anyone over, but when I saw this darling sweet girl talking up that mug at the bar, I just knew she was the one. You ain't got a bad face either, lad. You looking for a partner? My daughter is quite beautiful."

You hope Sebastian will chalk all that to the mania, but he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

"That she is, sir."

You snort. It's all a game to him, but it plucks your heartstrings nonetheless, and you clamber into the carriage without looking him in the eye.

Sebastian closes the door. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Where's the driver?"

"Don't worry about that, the horses know where to go."

Now that is absurd. "How the hell—"

"Ah ah, remember? Trust?"

You sit back in the carriage. "I said I'd try."

"Then try harder." He slaps the carriage side, which prompts the horses into motion. "Get some rest! It's a fairly long journey!"

You don't. The whole way out of the city and down the winding, country roads, you're wide awake, taking in the sight of the buildings and bustle morphing into trees and villages, and fields that roll for endless miles. The horses canter most of the way, so the sea comes into view after only a few hours, the land flat and sparse, and when the carriage stops abruptly, about half a mile out from the shore, you open the door and find the earth damp and moist beneath you, veined with a thousand rivulets of gilded blue.

"Boots," you murmur, smiling.

They squelch when you jump down into the marsh. The air is tangy with salt and sediment, but the sea wind is welcome in the heat. For a moment you shut your eyes, and all that panic and worry and dread – it simply melts away.

As vowed, Sebastian and your parents are waiting on the shore when you cross the marshland towards them. All three of them are as pristine as when you left – another oddity that you cannot explain.

Sebastian sweeps his arm out. "Welcome to Egypt Bay."

It's a small beach, if it can even be called that, settled in a crook between the sea and the mouth of the Thames. The river folds in on itself out beyond, creating a shelf of foam that constantly undulates in perfectly even ripples. The beach itself is a dearth of life, the sand wet but undisturbed, save only for a flimsy parasol Sebastian has stuck into the ground, and your parents, already padding their way towards the ocean.

"The beach!" your father yells. "Wheeee!"

"We vanished in a fireplace!" your mother cries. "Reappeared in another house!"

She must be mad, but you're too elated to care.

"I can't believe you did it," you breathe, facing him. "You actually did it."

He scoffs, hooking his thumbs into his trouser pockets. "Was there ever any doubt?"

"At least ninety per cent."

"Only ninety? Should've gone for the full one hundred. Would've made a much more satisfying reveal."

He drags out a cooling box and opens the lid – it's full of ice cream. Strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, pistachio, a few more flavours you've never tried. The ice cushioning each tub is intact. How the hell did he transport ice cream without it melting?

"Flavour preference?"

You mumble out a meagre whatever you're having, because you're too overwhelmed to do anything else, so Sebastian takes the chocolate – perfectly frozen – and scoops it into two tubs. The flavour is rich and decadent, better than anything you've had, and brings back another wave of nostalgia for times long past.

"Are you going to tell me how?" you ask, once you're finished.

There's chocolate left on the corner of his mouth. He thumbs it away, then licks it clean.

"If I tell you..."

"You'll have to kill me, I know."

"It's more like, if I tell you, I'd have to... never mind." You shove down the curiosity when he nods his head towards your parents. "They look like they're enjoying themselves."

Your parents intertwine arms and kick up the wet sand with childlike joy. You've been seeing them in monochrome this whole time – now they're in full colour, like some spark has been lit in both of their hearts. Even if it's only for today, only for this rare, precious moment, you are grateful.

"It's all they've talked about the last few months," you mumble. "It's the only thing they've really wanted to do. I care about them, but bringing them out... I've been terrified to do it."

"Because of the forgetfulness?"

"Because if anyone sees them. They're mad and they can't take care of themselves anymore, and if they get sent away... I'll have no one. Selfish, I know, but..." Your breath wracks. "They're all I have left."

There's sand in his hair and lashes, sweat that courses down his jaw, down the column of his throat, past his shirt, a slit open to the air, teasing more of his muscle and tattoos.

"That's not true," he whispers. "You have me."

In the silence, you see him watching your parents in earnest satisfaction. He's a stranger, freckled, drunk, odd, and not above using trickery and deceit against his foes. He shouldn't have to do this, he's not under any obligation. Yet he has, for no other reason than he can, and that it will make your parents happy. Seeing the delight on their faces releases a burden you didn't know you were shouldering.

Tentatively, you reach for his hand, and he responds in kind, until your fingers are knotted together.

"Thank you."

It doesn't encompass all the feelings in your chest, that iridescent gratitude you can't put into words, and how fast your heart beats and your fingers itch to touch him more. How your lips hunger for his.

It's simple, yes, but for him, you hope, it means the world.

The sun catches his face in ethereal light.

"Good day," he says, squeezing your hand.

You squeeze back.

"Yes," you say softly. "Good day."

[read on AO3, read on Wattpad] [MASTERLIST][FIRST][PREV][NEXT]

Thank you to my tag list: @okay-j-hannah @morelikeravenbore @vylaris @gyattoru @cloudroomblog @cordidy If you'd like to join/ be removed, please let me know. 💚

[Divider credits]

[srbachchan]

DAY 5874

Jalsa, Mumbai Mar 18/19, 2024 Mon/Tue 10:37 AM

Birthday - EF - Syed Kabeeruddin Tuesday, 19 March .. and our wishes for this day for your day .. love from all the Ef 🌹❤️🙏 🚩

We are all in the grip of technology and the speed with which it changes and changes our life and indeed the life of the Universe ..

By the time we realise that a finality has been reached , another system takes over rendering the finality to a disposition that gives it a 'been there , has been' temperament ..

Not just in the world of technology , but also in the thinking of all , in every aspect ..

The belief and the sense of reality .. of fact and misadventures in the factual world have quite selectively given us all reason to think or express at every fact , whether it is indeed a fact or not ..

The question mark, the doubt, the knowing that there is an alternative invades us all , and we surrender in servile disposition to its reality ..

Well , enough of the philosophy on the budding reality of alternatives and fact and on to another query ..

COFFEE ..

For the past year or so , thanks to some inputs from the younger generation colleague, the consumption of coffee suddenly became prevailent in my routine .. a drink like tea and beverages I had not consumed for years ..

Yes it did give certain reactions and changes but I needed to know factually and googelly if what the net was netting to .. so researched and came to a netted observation :

Coffee, a beloved beverage, offers several benefits. Its caffeine content enhances alertness and concentration, aiding productivity. Studies suggest coffee may reduce the risk of certain diseases like Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. Additionally, it contains antioxidants, potentially lowering the risk of cancer and promoting heart health. However, excessive consumption can lead to negative effects. Insomnia and increased heart rate are common, while anxiety and digestive issues may arise in some individuals. Dependency can develop, leading to withdrawal symptoms like headaches. Moreover, excessive caffeine intake may exacerbate existing health conditions like hypertension. Moderation is key to enjoying coffee's benefits while minimizing its drawbacks.

So having consumed it for some time and in a confused state , recently have abstained for about 2 weeks from all - the coffee and the aerated beverages .. and wanted some clarification ..

So .. somewhat relieved , somewhat confused , somewhat - some and what !!!

Love and see ya .. 😁

Amitabh Bachchan

[afeelgoodblog]

The Best News of Last Week

😷 - Mask off, but guard up! Seems like we're out of the tunnel

1. Abandoned dog seen wandering Detroit streets with stuffed toy rescued, now receiving care

An abandoned dog is preparing for a new home after animal rescue groups spent days trying to find her when she was spotted wandering Detroit with a stuffed toy. Nikki's owner recently died, and she was left to wander the streets with her favorite toy. 

As Nikki receives her care, the animal workers are making sure she is ready to head to her foster home. Almost Home is collecting donations to help pay for the treatment and Niki's care. Donate here.

2. New foster care agency matching LGBTQ+ kids with queer carers to become ‘their amazing, wonderful selves’

A new foster care service has been launched to help match LGBTQ+ young people with supportive carers and families in the South East of England. Apex Q, a service from agency Apex Fostering, will help encourage more LGBTQ+ foster carers, provide training and create more placements for queer children.

Apex Fostering, which covers north and east London as well as several southern counties, including Hertfordshire, Essex and Cambridgeshire, launched in 2021 and claims to have already placed more than 60 young people with foster families. 

3. Newquay Zoo celebrates birth of rare 'warty' piglets

A pair of rare piglets has been born at Newquay Zoo in Cornwall. The Visayan warty pigs, named for the three pairs of fleshy "warts" on the boar's face, which protect it while fighting rival pigs, are part of a breeding programme at the zoo.

The species lives in the forests of the Philippines, where there could be as few as 200 animals left.

4. New Alzheimer's drug slows disease by a third

We could be entering the era of Alzheimer's treatments, after the second drug in under a year has been shown to slow the disease. Experts said we were now "on the cusp" of drugs being available, something that had recently seemed "impossible".

The company Eli Lilly has reported its drug - donanemab - slows the pace of Alzheimer's by about a third.

5. Covid global health emergency is over, WHO says

The World Health Organization (WHO) has declared that Covid-19 no longer represents a "global health emergency". The statement represents a major step towards ending the pandemic and comes three years after it first declared its highest level of alert over the virus.

But Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus warned that the virus remained a significant threat.

6. Doctors have performed brain surgery on a fetus in one of the first operations of its kind

The baby’s condition, known as vein of Galen malformation, was first noticed during a routine ultrasound scan at 30 weeks of pregnancy. The seven-week-old is one of the first people to have undergone an experimental brain operation while still in the womb. It might have saved her life.

Before she was born, this little girl developed a dangerous condition that led blood to pool in a 14-millimeter-wide pocket in her brain. The condition could have resulted in brain damage, heart problems, and breathing difficulties after birth. It could have been fatal. The baby girl was born healthy. She didn’t need any treatment for the malformation.

7. Lastly, watch this father stork brings a blanket to warm up mother stork

----

That's it for this week :)

This newsletter will always be free. If you liked this post you can support me with a small kofi donation:

Buy me a coffee ❤️

Also don’t forget to reblog. SUBCRIBE HERE for more good news in your inbox

[elicathebunny]

NEUROPLACISITY IN DEPTH.

(The content isn't mine but all complied into one big post, links are connected to the sources)

How do I re-wire my subconscious?

You re-wire your subconscious mind using NEUROPLASTICITY.

Neuroplasticity, also known as brain plasticity or neural plasticity, refers to the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. It involves the strengthening or weakening of existing neural pathways and the development of new synapses.

This means you can re-wire your subconscious by building NEW PATHWAYS that become STRONGER than the old ones

I'd like you to start with understanding the importance of BDNF - Brain-derived neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) is a vital protein for neuroplasticity, acting as a linchpin in the adaptive processes of the brain. It supports facilitating synaptic plasticity through mechanisms like long-term potentiation (LTP) and fostering the formation of new synapses. You can increase your body's BDNF by:

Engage in regular exercise, particularly aerobic activities, to significantly increase BDNF levels and promote neuroplasticity.

Maintain a balanced diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids from sources like fatty fish and flaxseeds to support elevated BDNF production.

Prioritize adequate and quality sleep, as insufficient sleep has been linked to decreased BDNF levels.

Implement stress management techniques, such as mindfulness meditation and relaxation exercises, to positively influence BDNF secretion.

Breathwork and meditation are great options.

Understand the importance of regulating your nervous system - You must be able to regulate your nervous system to build neuroplasticity. This is because neuroplasticity may be hindered when the body is in a heightened state of stress or arousal (sympathetic dominance), characterized by increased heart rate and elevated cortisol levels. Breathwork and meditation are an incredible way to do this. Psych central

Take new routes: Every new experience has the potential to enhance your brain’s ability to change. Travelling, for example, can help. Our brains are forced to stop auto-piloting in an unfamiliar environment like a new city. Research from 2013 shows that novelty and challenges can enhance cognitive function. So, technically, you don’t have to leave your town to promote brain plasticity. Consider finding alternative routes to your daily commute. Try that new coffee shop or restaurant around the corner. Go around your desk in the opposite direction that you typically do.

Move: A 2018 literature reviewTrusted Source showed that physical exercise can promote neuroplasticity in general. Activity is beneficial for many different regions of the brain and affects various aspects of cognitive function, including memory and learning. This might be helpful for people facing major or mild cognitive decline, including Alzheimer’s disease. In sum, exercising may help you slow the cellular ageing process and enhance your overall brain health.

Practice meditation: Studies show that long-term meditation practiceTrusted Source can change the function of the brain. Specifically, mindfulness practice can enhance focus and attention and prevent cognitive declineTrusted Source.

Learn a new skill: The relationship between learning and neuroplasticity is twofold. Learning new things enhances brain plasticity, and because of the brain’s ability to adapt to change, you’re able to learn. In this sense, every time you learn something, you benefit from neuroplasticity and promote it. Research backs this up. A 2021 study, for example, suggests that learning a new skill, such as Braille language, can promote neuroplasticity and enhance its benefits. Other examples include learning to: - use your non-dominant hand - speak a new language - play a new instrument - paint or draw - code computers - do puzzles

[shelbystales]

Best Aid - Part Five

Modern Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Summary: you are a young doctor in Birmingham. After a crazy incident, Thomas Shelby shows up at your hospital. You don’t know much about the man everyone seems to fear, but you definitely will.

Warning: swearing,

A/N:  Comment and interact, tell me what you think! it means a looot thank you very much. Tell me if you ant me to tone down the medical stuff.

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You were on your way to your brother's house to pick up your mom. You managed to buy a car, not with the help of insurance, of course.

"Hey, momma," you greeted her with open arms as she walked out the door with your brother, "how you doin'?" you asked, hugging her.

"Good, my love," she replied with a smile. She seemed well, with rosy cheeks and wearing a cute blue floral dress.

"What's up?" you greeted your brother with a hug, "how's everything?"

"All good. She's feeling a bit fancy today. Keeps insisting she's going on a date," he shrugged, and you smiled.

"Cute. I'll bring her back in the late afternoon, alright?" you asked, and he nodded.

You and your brother aren't super close. You get along well, but you're not best friends. In fact, you're not very close to any of your siblings. Over the years, you've all gone your separate ways, naturally growing apart. It's just the way life goes if you don't make an effort.

You took your mom for a coffee at the botanical garden and took a stroll with her. She delighted in a pistachio ice cream and was enchanted by the thousands of different flowers.

She seemed to be in good spirits, with some minor memory lapses, occasionally asking where this beautiful place was, but nothing too concerning. Nothing that indicated her Alzheimer's condition was worsening. she was at the beginning of the disease, you and your siblings discovered her alzeimer less than six months ago. You quickly pulled some strings and put her on an innovative treatment at your hospital that promised to delay the effects a little. So far it seemed to work, the disease was progressing slowly.

You both sat on a bench near an artificial pond teeming with fish. You picked up some seeds from the ground and handed them to your mom to throw into the water. Each seed hitting the water and capturing the attention of the fish brought a joyful laugh from her.

Something people don't talk about much is how some elderly folks, at a certain point, become reminiscent of children. They start to live a lighter, happier, and carefree life.

"How's your life, daughter?" she surprised you with her question.

"Good," you smiled.

"When are you gonna introduce me to that boyfriend of yours?" she asked, making you laugh.

"What boyfriend?" you asked, and she didn't respond. She gazed into the horizon as if searching for the answer, but it wasn't in sight. To avoid her getting frustrated, you changed the subject, "You know, there's a guy I thought might be interesting to pursue, but I've changed my mind, Mom. Too much work," you chuckled.

"Oh yeah. Love truly is a job. It takes time and a lot of effort," she spoke, returning to her normal tone as if nothing had happened.

"I know, I don't think I'm ready for that," you said, and she smiled at you.

"We're never really ready. And that's why it's so good. Imagine being ready for everything. Life would be so monotonous... so boring," her words made more sense to you than ever.

"Momma, you're so wise, you know that?" you smiled and hugged her affectionately “I love you”

“I love you too, honey,” she said giving light taps on your back.

During lunchtime, you took her to her favorite restaurant, not that she remembered that detail. After lunch, you headed to your house, and she comfortably dozed off on your bed while watching a soap opera, Ozzy sleeping snuggled at her feet. He liked her.

Taking advantage of her nap, you grabbed your patient records and began reviewing the files of the patients scheduled for your upcoming shift, as usual.

On the other side of town, Thomas was deeply immersed in the battle against the Italian mob.

He had found himself entangled in a war that seemed to have no end in sight.

Thomas Shelby, was known for his cunning tactics and unyielding determination, and he knew how to navigate a world where loyalties shifted like sand and trust was a rare commodity.

The Italian mob, equally fierce and calculating, was proving to be a formidable adversary. One that he should fear since they had no limits.

Just this week they tried a deathly attack on his younger brother John. That didn’t go well for the mob. John pulled a Houdini act and got out of dodge. Giving Thomas a small win or rather not giving a loss.

Now Thomas had to think about his next moves, but the only thing in his head was you and your fucking safety. He had put two men to watch you at every hour, 24/7. If you ate a fly he would know, if you hiccuped he would know.

He didn’t want you to pay for his mistake. He couldn’t have that.

But there was something more to it, something more to you that he couldn’t quite understand yet. In the middle of all the chaos in his life, you felt like a piece of the puzzle that didn’t fit. And it was driving him nuts.

"Tommy," Arthur asked, stepping into his brother's office. "We're ready," he said. Tommy nodded and got up to follow his brother to the meeting room, where they were about to have a family meeting.

"Glad to see you in one piece, brother," Tommy said, embracing John.

"Me too," John replied with a smile.

"Alright," Tommy said, taking a seat. "We need to establish a few things today. First off, personal security. Everyone's already got bodyguards, I made sure of that. Don't worry, they're paid not to be seen. Also, don't leave the house without letting someone know. You can either message the family group or someone directly. The Changrettas aren't messing around, and they want our blood."

"And whose fault is that?" Polly asked confrontationally.

"You really want to go there?" Thomas asked seriously. "Because as far as I know, the death of his father worked out pretty well for you, Poll."

"It had to happen," Arthur chimed in with the facts.

The feud between the Shelbys and the Changrettas had been brewing for a long time. They were at each other's throats over territory last year, though it hadn't yet turned into an all-out war. The Changretta patriarch had been growing more brazen and greedy, pushing boundaries with each passing day.

Polly owns a five-star hotel in the city center, and on numerous occasions, he would get drunk and create scenes in the hotel lobby. And it often got to the papers and her clientele would drop like crazy for the following weeks. His fixation on her, driven by an unreciprocated affection, only intensified the animosity

Last year's territorial dispute had been a warning sign, a foreshadowing of the chaos that was about to unfold. The Changretta patriarch's audacity had only fueled the fire

But the breaking point came when he attempted to assault Lizzie, Thomas's assistant. Yes, she used to be a prostitute in the past, but that doesn't give any man the right to violate her. Besides, Lizzie has been Thomas's steady affair for years.

Polly crossed her arms defensively. "I'm not saying I'm sorry for what happened. But it could have gone another way," she retorted, her voice sharp.

"It hasn’t, Poll," Tommy replied evenly. “ We need to stay focused on what's happening now. The Changrettas are out for revenge, and they won't stop until they think they've settled the score."

"Right," Ada chimed in, her tone serious. "So what's the plan, Tommy?"

Tommy leaned back in his chair, contemplating. "We hit 'em where it hurts. We disrupt their operations, cut off their resources.”

Arthur leaned forward, his expression determined. "And we make it clear that they'll regret messing with us. We won't back down."

“How do you plan on doing that?” Polly asked, armed crossed

“We need allies” he answered

Back at your home, your mother's nap ended, and she woke up with a contented smile. You put aside your work and joined her in watching the remainder of the soap opera.

As the afternoon turned into evening, you prepared to take her back to your brother's place.

As you were dropping her off, you were invited to have dinner at your brother's house. His wife is a kind and easygoing person, sometimes even more so than he is. Spending time with them was pleasant, a change from your routine as a single woman living alone and having solitary dinners with your cat.

When you finally got home, you noticed your apartment door was open. For a brief moment, you wondered if you could have left it that way, but the voice in your head quickly dismissed that thought.

Without any desire to find out if someone was still inside, you turned on your heels and dashed back to your car. The only thing in your mind being the safety of your cat.

Doing what any normal person would, you called the police.

You quickly dialed the police and explained the situation, your heart pounding as you waited for their response. They assured you they would send officers over right away.

Standing by your car, you felt a mix of anxiety and fear, wondering what you might find inside your apartment.

Within minutes, the sound of sirens grew louder, and two police officers arrived at the scene. You explained the situation to them, your voice shaky with apprehension. They assured you that they would thoroughly check your apartment and asked you to stay outside.

As you watched them enter your apartment building, you felt a sense of unease wash over you. Moments later, they returned, confirming that there was no one inside, however, they said it seemed someone had broken in. All your things were out of place.

They said they would get the security camera's videos and find the person behind this. And they insisted you slept somewhere else.

You went back to your apartment to gather a few stuff and find Ozzy. When you walked in you were startled. Drawers were pulled open, belongings strewn across the floor, and the place that was once your sanctuary now felt like a violated space. Your pulse quickened as you realized someone had been inside, rummaging through your personal belongings.

After some searching, you found Ozzy under your stove, the poor thing was terrified.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself and ignore the rising panic. The police assured you that they would investigate the break-in thoroughly and advised you not to touch anything until they had collected evidence. "Just get what you need and leave the scene," the offcier said

Feeling a mixture of anger and vulnerability, you sat down and took it all in. You had no place to go. Yes, you could go to your brothers, but it felt like an intrusion. Feeling backed into a corner, you decided to rent a hotel room right next to the hospital. The hotel was cheap, but they had security 24/7 and cameras, which was enough for you at the moment.

The following day was intense. You had to do your rounds at the hospital but every step you took felt like you were being watched, and a sense of paranoia began to settle in. No matter where you went, the feeling of being pursued was constant, leaving you on edge.

You questioned yourself, doubting if you were blowing things out of proportion, letting the break-in get under your skin more than you should. Yet, every time you glanced over your shoulder or felt a shiver down your spine, you couldn't shake the certainty that someone was lurking out there, hidden in the shadows. It was a persistent feeling, like an itch you couldn't scratch.

As you carried on with your hospital tasks, the unease clung to you. It was as if a chunk of your normal life had been snatched away, stolen along with your peace of mind. And in your frustration, you couldn't help but lay the blame on someone: that man with those gorgeous striking sea-blue eyes. Fucking Thomas Shelby.

You cursed his name under your breath, feeling a mixture of resentment and a strange connection you couldn't quite explain. Whether or not he was truly involved, his presence had thrown your life into turmoil, first your car and now your apartment.

"Hey girl, you okay?" Jeremy asked concern etched on his face.

"Yeah, just a bit tired. A little paranoid," you replied, and he chuckled.

"Aren't we all?" he questioned, making you smile.

Jeremy had quickly become one of the most important people in your life. Your friendship was so genuine and light, something that brought you immense comfort. All you wanted was to spill the beans about what had been happening, but was it a good idea?

You soldiered on with your day and tasks, doing your best not to dwell on your life outside the hospital. By the end of the day, you felt so drained that it was as if you had worked three days straight. The truth is, when your mind is on high alert, when anxiety takes over, both your mind and body bear the brunt.

As you arrived at your hotel room and swung the door open, a man's figure seated at the foot of your bed met your eyes. With a scream, you instinctively recoiled, slamming the door shut with force. All you wanted was to run out of there, but before you could, the door swung open, revealing that the man was none other than Thomas himself.

"Fuck!" you exclaimed, pushing the door and, consequently, him. "You're gonna give me a heart attack!"

Thomas rubbed his chest, probably where you had nudged him. "You can be a real charmer, you know that?"

"Charm's not exactly my priority right now," you retorted, still reeling from the shock. Your heart is still beating a million times per second.

"What do you want?" you asked impatiently.

"Just checking up on you," he replied calmly.

"I'm great, can't you tell? Life's just great," you retorted with heavy sarcasm, slumping tiredly onto your hotel bed.

"Why didn't you tell me that someone broke into your place?" he inquired.

"Because you're the bloody reason it happened in the first place! Did that knock on the head mess up your brains? I want nothing to do with you," you stated firmly, frustration lacing your words.

"Look, I know you're angry," he began, his tone softer now. "But I'm worried about your safety. If you're being targeted, you might not be safe here. I can offer you a place to stay, at my aunt's hotel. It's secure, and you can stay there for as long as you need. No strings attached."

You raised an eyebrow, surprised by his unexpected offer. "I appreciate the concern," you said, your voice guarded. "But I'll figure things out on my own. I don't need your help."

He sighed his expression a mix of frustration and concern. "You're stubborn as hell, you know that?"

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“Look, y/n. I’m not taking no for an answer. You are not safe here. It’s a fact” he said

“And why do you care?” You asked, surprised to see Ozzy climbing on top of the bed and snuggling up to you. He usually hides when people are near.

Thomas hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering between you and the cat nestled against you.

"Because I've seen what happens when someone underestimates danger," he admitted, his tone softer now. "I've lost people I cared about, and I won't let that happen again if I can help it."

You were taken aback by his candid response, his vulnerability catching you off guard. It was a glimpse into a side of him you hadn't expected. As you looked at him, his expression held a mix of genuine concern and something deeper, a hint of regret perhaps.

"You can't control everything, Thomas," you replied softly, your fingers still brushing over Ozzy's fur.

He nodded, a rueful smile touching his lips. "I know. But that doesn't mean I won't try." he took a deep breath "If not for you, then do it for the cat. He deserves safety," he said, making you chuckle.

"Low blow," you quipped, stealing a small smirk from him.

"I won't bother you. In fact, if it's what you want, I will stay as far away as I possibly can. Just please accept it," he insisted, his tone earnest.

After some thought, you eventually nodded. "I don't want to see your face."

"You won't," he replied, his voice firm as if making a promise.

“Okey” you said giving in

Unbeknownst to you, Tommy struggled to suppress his own desires. While you were seated on the hotel bed, he fought the intense urge to sweep you into his arms. To just throw you on the bed and fuck you senseless. But he knew he needed to respect your boundaries, to earn your trust before making any advances.

After your last encounter with him, he noticed he skipped a few steps. He made you terrified. He made you fear for your life, and according to you, that was the reason you kissed him. And that was not something he wanted. He wanted you to desire him as much as he did you right now.

Your current vulnerability only heightened his need to keep you safe above all else, above all his wishes, holding back his desires for a future moment when you'd be ready for him.

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[unlikelyfanhairdoalmond]

Interview regarding the short movie “All Through The Night”

In another interview, Tim mentioned that Téa’s father had Lewy body dementia at the end of his life. Wondering if he is referring to him as well in that interview… 🤔

It’s a wonderful short film. If you haven’t seen it, the video link is at the end of this post. 😉

Tim, can you talk more about how you prepared to portray someone living with Alzheimer’s, as well as the family dynamics in the midst of a progressive disease?

I spoke with Joe Montminy, a former Alzheimer’s Association Early Stage advisor, who is living with early-onset Alzheimer’s and a father himself. I wanted to hear from someone experiencing dementia.

Dementia is unpredictable. It’s hard to draw a straight line between something that happens and the way the person with dementia will react. I’ve been on the receiving end where I’ve experienced someone with dementia not knowing who I was. Then I left the room to grab a cup of coffee and when I returned the person said “Hey Tim, how are you doing? It is cruel what Alzheimer’s does, not only to the person who has it, but to their families. But we cling onto those lucid moments with hope.

Families are complicated. There are a lot of ways of expressing love. Sometimes the way love is expressed can be hurtful. There’s an element of my character that is a bit narcissistic. He is focused on his own world so intensely that he is dismissive of his son. He is somewhat disappointed that his son doesn’t appreciate music in the way that he does. At the same time, there is a lot of love. There is forgiveness. One of the beautiful things about this story is the example of how change is inevitable, but it can be navigated.

Tim, you had to depict having two different stages of Alzheimer's. Can you talk about that experience?

The beginning stage must be terrifying for the person who is living with Alzheimer’s. In the case of my character, fear and shame presents itself as anger and frustration. As the disease advances, my character becomes less and less of the person he was. I have witnessed that in my own life with someone at the beginning of cognitive decline. At first, the reaction from their family was annoyance like the person wasn’t trying hard enough to fight the changes that the disease was causing. But, over the course of time, they came to realize that it’s not the person’s fault. They can’t control what is happening to them. Both sides who are impacted by this disease struggle to cope with the changes. It's a very painful journey, and sometimes it is a kind of hopeful journey, like the one you see in this film.

Full Interview:

[ausetkmt]

1/13

Packs on the Pounds -

Fast food is convenient and cheap, but you pay a bigger price in the long run. Those burgers, fries, and shakes usually have more fat, calories, and highly processed carbs than your body needs in one meal. This can quickly lead to weight gain and obesity if you eat it often.

2/13

Harms Your Heart

Sodium makes fast food taste better and keeps it from spoiling. But just one bacon cheeseburger can contain your recommended daily value for sodium. That’s the amount of a nutrient experts suggest getting every day. Too much sodium raises your blood pressure and damages your blood vessels. It also raises your risk for heart failure, heart attack, and stroke.

3/13

Spikes Blood Sugar

Bagels, buns, and breaded foods are high in processed carbs your body breaks down into sugar. As blood sugar levels rise, your body pumps out insulin to level things out. Over time, these constant sugar spikes can wear out your pancreas (the organ that makes insulin). This keeps blood sugar levels high, triggering type 2 diabetes.

4/13

Opens the Door to Digestive Issues

Fast food may taste good, but you may not feel well once it hits your system. High-sodium foods (fries, anyone?) can temporarily trigger bloat. Couple that with low amounts of dietary fiber, and your digestive tract gets backed up. This can lead to constipation that puts you at risk for hemorrhoids, hernias, and diverticulitis.

5/13

Affects Your Mood

What you eat and drink can impact how you feel mentally and physically. Fast food lacks the vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients your body needs to boost your mood. Research suggests fast and processed foods you buy at the store may be linked to a higher risk of depression.

6/13

Makes You Tired

When a bunch of processed carbs hit your system, your blood sugar rises quickly, then drops just as fast. This can make you feel tired. If you grab a sugary coffee drink to wake up, the cycle starts all over again.

7/13

Could Impact Your Fertility

Phthalates, synthetic chemicals that dissolve materials and make plastics durable, are in everything from toys to fast food. Recent studies have linked phthalates with fertility issues and higher risks of learning and behavioral disorders in children.

8/13

Changes Your Bathroom Habits

Because it’s highly processed, fast food -- especially the kind that’s fried or creamy -- can be hard to digest. If your body can’t break it down, it lands in your colon and turns into fatty acids that spark diarrhea.

9/13

Invites Dental Disease

The high levels of carbs and sugar in fast food, including sodas, raises the amount of acids in your mouth. These wear down the enamel on your teeth and boosts your risk of cavities, tooth decay, and gum disease.

10/13

Wears Out Your Bones and Joints

Excess weight and obesity caused by fast food puts extra pressure on your joints, especially your hips and knees. This makes you more likely to get fractures in the bones around your joints.

11/13

Raises Your Risk for Respiratory Issues

One fried chicken dinner won’t affect the way you breathe. But too much fast food can lead to extra weight that increases your risk of asthma, especially in women. More research is needed to know exactly why, but early studies show that fat tissue leads to inflammation that may affect your lungs.

12/13

Causes Skin Outbreaks

Fast food is full of ingredients that don’t play well with your skin. Sugar can lower collagen levels and lead to signs of early aging, like wrinkles. Salt drains moisture from your skin, but it helps your body keep the water that causes bags under your eyes. High amounts of saturated fats trigger hormones that play a role in acne.

13/13

Affects Your Memory

Experts think saturated and trans fats tell your body to make plaques in the brain. These cause dementia and raise your risk of Alzheimer’s disease three times more than those who don’t eat fast food.

[railingsofsorrow]

𝙾𝙲𝚃. 25𝚝𝚑; 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊, 𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖘.

summary: iris's letter.

pairing: spencer reid x oc!iris valentia

w.c: 706

warnings/content: mentions of food poisoning, vomit and fainting; mentions of self medicating; mentions of Alzheimer's disease; angst (not much); fluff; “ODU” is the acronym for “Old Dominion University”.

A/N: LAST LETTER!! we are done with act 1, now we'll proceed with act 2. next chapters are going to be in narrative style.

navi

masterpost

series masterlist

whoever wants to be tagged for this fic, fill this out or dm me.

[letter 1] [letter 2] [letter 3] [letter 4] [letter 5] [letter 6] [letter 7] [letter 8] [letter 9]

October 25th.

Dear, Spencer.

My whole department fell in sick yesterday — including my students, barely anyone was spared. Some kind of food poisoning? I don't know, people started throwing up, passing out and whatnot. We didn't know what to do!

(Yes, this is how I start my letter. I had to vent to someone how weird this is!)

I immediately called 911 and the cafeteria became swarmed with EMT's. My first supposition was that something was wrong with the cafeteria food. I never eat there because I either bring my own food or... I just don't remember eating until I'm off to go home. So, I tested it, the cafeteria food. But no. Nothing was wrong. I still find it weird that this happened out of nowhere, but my colleagues think it wasn't anything serious.

ODU was on the news today. Same thing happened. I can't shake this off, it can't be a coincidence, can it?

Sorry, I needed to ramble to somebody.

Ah, Spencer. It's too late for that, I already care enough to worry. What other resources are you trying? I hope you are not self-medicating yourself, it's not good. You're not doing that, right?

I have a friend that I could recommend you. She's a neurologist so she could be more helpful — you've probably been to a lot of those, but she's really good.

Her name is Clare Thompson, her office is in Washington, DC at Georgetown. If you want, I can make an appointment for you, we're close friends. If not, then just ignore this. I'm not trying to push you into anything, I'm just concerned.

What you said reminded me of the concept “Athazagoraphobia”. I researched about it to include it in my MD thesis about Alzheimer's disease. It means exactly what you said: fear of forgetting something or someone, or being forgotten.

I relate to you on that. But I'm more afraid of being forgotten. Sometimes I think that if I don't put my mark in the world, then how will people remember me? Do you feel like that too?

I absolutely know what you mean about the dolls... They're creepy. I had a few when I was a child, I don't know where they disappeared to though, I think my mother donated them. Either way, I'm happy not knowing their whereabouts.

I am happy that your friends are threatening you to to go out more.

Yes, maybe he is sick. It's an option I've considered. But he usually sends an email letting me know he will miss class. Fabian is not the kind of student that misses class without a plausible reason. He's very dedicated and one of my top students.

Of course you'd take is as a challenge, Doctor Reid. I could tell you were the competitive type from the moment you told me you were a rebel as a kid (no, I'll never forget that, you book thief).

Oh, did you really like the book? I'm so glad. Yes! I have like 5 recommendations to you but I'll spare you two: After Dark and Sputnik Sweetheart. Tell me what you think afterwards.

Something reminded me of you today. I was grabbing my coffee and I guess I picked up the wrong order. Do you know why I think that? Because it was the sweetest beverage I've ever had. I could've dropped dead right there if I had taken another sip. Disgusting, really. My blood vessels were almost clogged up. The person left in a hurry and left their coffee right beside mine on the balcony. Oh! And guess what: it was written “Reid” in their cup. I know it is a common name, but it reminded me of you.

Don't forget to drink water and eat, Spencer. As always, be careful. Looking forward to hear from you soon! <3

Love,

Iris.

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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @chayceschultz; @cultish-corner

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[coffee-kitchen]

Is Coffee Healthy? Discover the Science-Backed Health Benefits of Coffee:

Coffee is a beloved beverage for millions around the world, but beyond its rich flavor and energizing effects, you might wonder: Is coffee actually healthy? The answer is a resounding yes. Numerous scientific studies have revealed that coffee offers a wide range of health benefits, making it more than just a tasty morning ritual. Let’s dive into the science-backed health benefits of coffee and discover why this popular drink is good for you.

Rich Source of Antioxidants Fighting Free Radicals: Coffee is packed with antioxidants, which play a crucial role in protecting your body from oxidative stress and free radical damage. Antioxidants help neutralize harmful molecules that can contribute to chronic diseases and aging. In fact, for many people, coffee is the largest source of antioxidants in their diet, surpassing even fruits and vegetables.

Enhances Brain Function Mental Sharpness: Caffeine, the primary active ingredient in coffee, is a well-known stimulant that can improve various aspects of brain function. It works by blocking adenosine, a neurotransmitter that promotes relaxation and sleepiness. As a result, caffeine enhances cognitive functions such as memory, mood, vigilance, and reaction times, helping you stay sharp and focused.

Boosts Physical Performance Exercise Efficiency: Coffee is often consumed by athletes and fitness enthusiasts before workouts, and for good reason. Caffeine increases adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, preparing your body for physical exertion. It also mobilizes fatty acids from fat tissues, making them available for energy. This leads to improved physical performance, endurance, and strength, making coffee an effective pre-workout drink.

Supports Heart Health Cardiovascular Protection: Moderate coffee consumption has been linked to a lower risk of heart disease and stroke. The antioxidants in coffee help reduce inflammation and protect the cardiovascular system. Additionally, regular coffee drinkers have been found to have a reduced risk of heart failure and other heart-related conditions, making coffee a heart-healthy choice when consumed in moderation.

Reduces the Risk of Type 2 Diabetes Blood Sugar Control: Type 2 diabetes is a major health concern globally, but coffee may help reduce the risk. Research indicates that coffee drinkers have a significantly lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes, thanks to the bioactive compounds in coffee that improve insulin sensitivity and glucose metabolism. This protective effect is observed with both caffeinated and decaffeinated coffee.

Protects Against Neurodegenerative Diseases Brain Health Preservation: Coffee consumption has been associated with a reduced risk of neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. The caffeine and antioxidants in coffee help protect brain cells from damage and support the production of neurotransmitters like dopamine, which are crucial for maintaining brain health. Regular coffee consumption may lower the risk of developing these conditions by up to 65%.

Lowers the Risk of Certain Cancers Cancer Prevention: Coffee has been linked to a lower risk of several types of cancer, including liver and colorectal cancer. The antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties of coffee help protect cells from DNA damage, which can lead to cancer. Studies suggest that regular coffee drinkers may reduce their risk of liver cancer by up to 40% and colorectal cancer by 15%, highlighting coffee’s role in cancer prevention.

Promotes Longevity Living Longer: Given coffee’s protective effects against various chronic diseases, it’s no surprise that it’s also associated with increased longevity. Several studies have shown that coffee drinkers have a lower risk of death from all causes, particularly from heart disease, stroke, and certain cancers. By incorporating coffee into your daily routine, you may be supporting a longer, healthier life.

Improves Mental Health Mood Booster: Coffee isn’t just good for your body; it’s also beneficial for your mind. Regular coffee consumption has been linked to a lower risk of depression and may even reduce the risk of suicide. The caffeine in coffee can boost the production of mood-enhancing neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, helping to improve your mood and overall mental well-being.

Aids in Weight Management Metabolic Boost: Coffee can help with weight management by boosting your metabolism and increasing fat burning. Caffeine stimulates thermogenesis, the process by which your body generates heat and burns calories. This effect, combined with coffee’s ability to suppress appetite, makes it a useful tool for those looking to lose weight or maintain a healthy body weight. Conclusion So, is coffee healthy? The answer, supported by a wealth of scientific research, is a definite yes. Coffee offers a wide range of health benefits, from protecting your heart and brain to boosting your physical performance and mental well-being. While it’s important to consume coffee in moderation to avoid potential side effects like jitteriness or sleep disturbances, incorporating a daily cup or two into your routine can be a simple and enjoyable way to enhance your overall health.

[ilianagallo]

The Health Benefits of Coffee

Coffee is more than just a beloved beverage; it also offers numerous health benefits. Research has shown that regular coffee consumption can boost physical performance and mental alertness, thanks to its high caffeine content. Caffeine acts as a stimulant, enhancing brain function and improving mood, reaction time, and memory. Moreover, coffee is rich in antioxidants, which help combat inflammation and protect cells from damage caused by free radicals. Studies have also linked coffee consumption to a reduced risk of several chronic diseases. For instance, regular coffee drinkers have a lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes. The antioxidants and other bioactive compounds in coffee help regulate blood sugar levels and improve insulin sensitivity. Additionally, moderate coffee consumption is associated with a lower risk of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. This protective effect is thought to be due to the antioxidants in coffee and caffeine's ability to block certain neurotransmitters that lead to these conditions. Furthermore, coffee has been shown to support heart health. Drinking coffee in moderation is linked to a lower risk of heart disease and stroke. The anti-inflammatory properties of coffee, combined with its ability to improve blood vessel function, contribute to this protective effect.

[skylarmoon71]

Eobard Thawne (Flash) - Extra

It’s all bittersweet, being back.

You’d woken up in the hospital with a clean bill of health. Everyone was shocked. Especially the guard who saw you take a full blast of lightning straight to the chest.

When you got to the lab, you didn’t expect the round of applause from fellow scientists. Everyone in the building was standing at the entrance clapping. You shuffled to the side to question one of the other interns that worked with you.

“W-What’s going on?”

She smiled.

“You crazy psycho, you saved the entire lab. That bolt that you ran into would have hit the circuit box in that room. Firefighters said if it had connected, the whole place would have gone up in smoke. You saved billions of dollars of research. Not to mention how many casualties you prevented other buildings close by.”

“I-I did?”

She nods, and she pushes you forward as you walk through the hall waving awkwardly and shaking hands with everyone you seem to pass by. The CEO of the company is wearing the biggest smile. “

“Thank you so much. There’s nothing I can truly do to express my gratitude. “ She shakes your hand vigorously and you just giggle, rubbing the back of your neck.

“N-No problem. A-Anytime.”

The remainder of the day you’re met with the royal treatment. It’s a little strange, but nice to be recognized. Even Jimmy had found you at some point and basically bowed at your feet from protecting his tech. All in all, it was a great day.

But as you returned that afternoon, you felt a bit hollow.

There was no sign of Eobard. It was a bit naive to think he would jump in after you, but you hoped that maybe if he felt even a glimmer of what you did, he would risk it.

So you wait.

Day one you’re hopeful.

Day two you’re desperate.

Day three, you see the truth.

Walking into the lab on the fourth day, you’re fairly sluggish. You get to work on your machine and many others. Your time at star labs has given you a lot of insight. Working day and night with such intelligent people really opened up your eyes. If you thought you got recognition for saving the lab, when you finally got your machine up and running, your resident supervisor was practically glowing with pride as broke down how it worked. It was extraordinary. With any luck, in a matter of months they could actually get it working in hospitals.

The following week, you're sitting on your couch, watching a repeat of one of your favorite episodes. It’s stupid to torture yourself like this. Looking at something you could no longer have. But it was the only thing you have left. You clenched the pillow that night, falling asleep to the sound of Eobard giving Barry a pep talk while dealing with the latest resident bad.

On your way to work the next morning, you down a cup of coffee and get started on a new project.

“What are you working on?”

You smile at Jimmy. He’s become somewhat of a colleague rather than a rival, especially after you helped him with his own creation.

“It’s a memory foam I guess. For people suffering from Dementia and Alzheimer's. I figured if I can create the cure for cancer, why stop there. There’s so many diseases and illnesses out there. We can do so much for people if we really put our mind to it. I guess my time in that coma showed me exactly what I wanted to do. I want to save people.”

“That’s..incredible (Y/N).”

You grin.

“Thank you, I aim to please.” you joke.

He laughs and you spot your supervisor at the door. You wave at him, returning your focus to your work.

The door opens behind as John walks in.

“This is where all our other paid interns work on different projects for the better of humanity. You hear that, paid interns."

 Everyone in the room laughs at John’s quip. He’s caught you all a few times chatting around in the lab or playing uno. So his words aren’t completely unwarranted.

“Who’s the new fish?” Jimmy asks.

You can hear a number of chuckles, and you laugh, drawing up your rough sketch for the blueprints you’ll need to make.

“My name is Eobard, Eobard Thawne.”

Your head whips around at the name and you drop the pencil. 

Your eyes are planted on the blond haired man and the second he sees you, he offers a smile. It’s so warm and filled with light, you almost break down right there. He walks right up to you with his hand extended.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

You just gape for a few seconds, when you finally gather the courage to reach out, you take his hand. A pleasant shock rushes through your finger tips and his awestruck expression mirrors your own. He must realize that he’s been holding your hand and staring for far too long. He pulls back nervously.

“S-Sorry. I didn’t get your name."

You offer the biggest smile you can, because this is nothing short of a miracle.

“(Y/N) (L/N), it’s really nice to meet you.”

He’s smiling just as brightly.

“You too.” 

[absentcaryatid]

In Love with a Married Man

An ATEEZ fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

With the help of supportive friends, Seonghwa and the reader begin a romantic relationship despite Seonghwa's status as a married man. The circumstances are far more solemn than prurient in this heavy story.

3.4K words, Content note: suitable for all Tumblr using ages, gender neutral reader, angst with some lighthearted moments, emotional hurt/comfort, Alzheimer's disease, therapy mentioned, food, cheating is referenced, peaceful off-page death of the spouse, reader has an unspecified health issue affecting their energy levels, they/them pronouns used for the reader

~

The rumpled man ran a hand through his gray touched black hair as he stared off into the distance. As a regular at your restaurant, you would have remembered him anyway, even if he had not had such elegant features. Tonight, his handsomeness was countered with the look of a haunted man. With motives based more in shared humanity than food service, you carried the coffee pot over as an excuse to check on him.

Close like this you could see tears streaking his cheeks. Offering a clean handkerchief from your pocket, it took a while for him to notice your presence, much less the handout. Taking the cloth slowly, his gaze was unfocused and seemed to go right through you. “It is my wife,” he uttered in a strained voice that broke your heart.

He did not seem well at all. Concerned he was going into shock from some bad news, you slipped into the booth at his side. Unexpectedly, he clung to your shoulder, body wracked with sobs. “She doesn't know me anymore.” Wetness seeped through your shirt as you wondered how to handle the situation. Recollecting himself, he quickly scooted out the other side of the booth. Awkwardly he fished from his pocket a large bill far more than the value of his meal which was then crumpled into your hand before he rushed out.

The abrupt exit and behavior leading up to it was not remarked on. Patrons at your place tended to mind their own business, though you did share a quizzical look with Yeosang, the other server on duty tonight. Your mind kept coming back to the man and his situation throughout the rest of your shift. You hoped he made it home safe tonight, and that he had people to look after him in such a rough condition.

The next week he was back, earlier than usual, and bearing a box of cookies from an upscale bakery nearby. Handing them over with a bow, his soft voice asked for forgiveness. “I behaved very badly last week. I won't trouble you again.”

Setting the carton aside, you waved him into his regular booth. “You will always be welcome at my cafe. There is nothing to forgive, I am sure your reaction was very human given whatever your circumstances were.”

A look of gratitude crossed his face. “Thank you, you are very kind.” While his words said the right things to be polite, he seemed flustered still. “I would like to explain myself, if I may. Would it be weird to ask you to join me for a moment?”

Drawn to his sincerity, you reasoned your other customers could wait as long as it took to put the man at ease. One of the perks of owning the cafe was the ability to take a break whenever you needed to and the steady customers got along just as well without you, to the point of getting their own drinks if needed. The cook, Wooyoung, was used to your health needs that led to frequent unscheduled rest time and he would bring out the dishes as needed if Yeosang had his hands full covering for your section of tables.

Far more composed this week, the man who sat across from you began his story. “My name is Seonghwa, and twenty-five years ago I married the love of my life.” Getting that out must have been a heavy task by the way he released a labored breath afterward. “You might have noticed me here every week at the same time.” At your nod he continued. “My wife has early-onset Alzheimer's disease. With our kids away in college, I can't bear going back to an empty house after visiting her in the nursing home nearby so this transition time over dinners has been a necessary thing for me. Having others around really helps me get out of my own worries. Usually that is, last week was a lot.”

Seonghwa fiddled with his hands on the table, and you unconsciously leaned in, reaching out to hold one. The gesture was a caring one, and he seemed to receive it that way, drawing strength from your warmth. “She gets angry lately, she can't help her rages, so I left earlier than expected. I love her so much and it is killing me to see her like this while I am helpless to ease her distress. At this point she has not recognized me for a month, and it is almost too much to bear.”

You squeezed his hand before pulling away as you sat back up fully. “I have seen what Alzheimer's did to my great-grandmother, and how it affected the whole family. It was particularly hard for her husband. My heart goes out to you dealing with this, with your wife still so young, your kids too.”

“Thank you. I really haven't talked to anybody about this. My boss is aware due to all the sick leave I was taking to care for her beforehand, until it became too much, but he doesn't understand like someone who has been there.” Seonghwa met your eyes. “It is not right of me to burden you with my troubles, though. You wouldn't happen to know a good therapist, would you?”

“Now that I can help with.” Glad you finally had something substantial to offer, you gestured with a thumb toward the back wall. “There is a card for a grief counselor on the cork board by the cash register. Jongho is a regular, in here for black coffee each morning. He can be pretty stoic, probably shields himself from taking on clients' pain, but multiple people can vouch for the quality of his services, including myself.”

“You lost someone?” Seonghwa's concern for you amidst his own troubles touched your heart.

“There are many kinds of loss. I had to give up the version of my future I was expecting. Jongho helped me come to terms with my disability diagnosis and my own changing body.”

Seonghwa looked thoughtful. “Even though she is still here, in many ways the woman I married is gone and I am grieving prematurely. Seeing Jongho would probably do me a lot of good.”

“I hope so.” With a last tender look, you pulled out your pen, then stood and announced you were back in wait staff mode with the question, “So, what will you have tonight?” By the time your shift ended, and Seonghwa long since gone, you noticed the business card was taken from the board. You hoped Jongho could help such a clearly troubled man with the burden he was carrying.

Seasons came and went, and slowly but surely each week brought Seonghwa looking healthier. Sometimes he was absent on his usual day, often returning with college souvenirs, a new hat or sweatshirt courtesy of his growing children. He now regularly showed up with houseplant gifts too, a small collection dotted the cafe entryway on shelving he had installed himself. Both the garden club and woodworking classes at the community college had expanded Seonghwa's circle of friends. Some of them would join him for semi-boisterous weekend brunches and it thrilled you to see Seonghwa laughing at their jokes.

He of course was not responsible for much of their noise. Mingi and Yunho were the loud ones, easy to recognize from their height but also the way their voices carried. It never bothered the other patrons so you didn't mind, especially not when you saw life returning to Seonghwa's eyes. You knew things would never be easier given his wife's condition, but he seemed to be coming out from under the strain of being her caregiver for so long.

San's soft voice with a question about the specials brought you out of the trance. Hopefully the moment of woolgathering was not too noticeable, nor was your focus on Seonghwa. Taking their orders went quickly after so many visits had the group familiar with the menu. Seonghwa was first, then he excused himself to wash his hands.

Meanwhile, you began walking away to inform Wooyoung of the latest orders. Years of experience let you catch Hongjoong's voice over the clatter of plates and conversations all around, and it brought you to a halt. You weren't proud of it, but you eavesdropped while pretending to straighten the place settings at a nearby table.

“San, we went over this before. The cafe owner is off limits.”

Mingi's deep voice came next. “If Seonghwa is not ready to ask them out, perhaps jealousy might be the motive he needs. That other server, what's his name....”

“Yeosang,” Yunho supplied.

“That's it,” Mingi continued, “Yeosang has been pretty obvious dropping hints that his employer is single. Let San shoot his shot if Seonghwa is not ready to begin dating.”

In a scandalized tone, Yunho pointed out, “But Seonghwa is married!”

Hongjoong shut down the judgement of their friend. “We all know his situation. It is a marriage in name only at this point. As much as he loves his wife, the relationship is effectively over on her side with no memory of him or their children at all, and her mental capacity in steep decline. Seonghwa did say his therapist was helping him work on giving himself permission to move on in some ways.”

Your eyes went wide from all you had learned. It was in confidence you had admitted to Yeosang late one night while closing down how charming you thought Seonghwa was. Attractive too, may have been mentioned. It never had occurred to you that Seonghwa might be looking for companionship again. Apparently Yeosang had some strong ideas about who might be a good match, but the idea of his blatant assistance in this way was mortifying. Looking around for the man you were strongly considering demoting to busboy on the spot, you grabbed him by a muscled arm and dragged Yeosang into the kitchen.

“Go wrestle in the dining room, you are going to make this souffle fall,” Wooyoung complained good-naturedly.

He was right of course, you were behaving unprofessionally. Still, you had your limits and being dangled before customers was beyond the pale. Fussing with your apron, you took it off and slumped in the chair set aside for your frequent rest breaks. “As much as I like him, Seonghwa would never want a spoonie like me. He's already had enough tragedy in his life.”

Yeosang and Wooyoung took notice how quickly your mood had tanked. It was not like you to be so down about your condition and it had your friends worried. “I was out of line,” Yeosang admitted. “I should not be so cavalier with your love life.”

Wooyoung took your hands in his after glancing at the griddle to make sure nothing needed immediate attention. “Yeosang is right though, I don't even get out of the kitchen often and yet the number of times I've seen Seonghwa following your every move with a smile on his face has been, well, a lot, okay? He is obviously smitten.”

“Maybe I just have a cowlick and is laughing at me.”

Wooyoung threw an arm around your shoulders. “Darling,” he began, and you knew any authority you once had over him as an employer was lost forever after this day. “Take the chance if he offers a date. Worst that can happen is all goes well and we tease you about us being right forever.”

Agonized, you rubbed your face. “If he asks. I'm not making the first move and looking like I am preying on customers.” Trying not to panic, you prepared to face Seonghwa with this new information in the forefront of your mind.

Yeosang handed you a fresh paper towel after you washed your hands. Now ready to work, he sent you back out with an encouraging word in your ear. “Just watch Seonghwa's reactions to you. We are telling you, he really likes you.”

Wooyoung took a look at the order slip you had left behind. He recognized the omelet Seonghwa always chose and smiled at Yeosang. “I can work with this.”

When time came to bring the food to Seonghwa's table, you conveyed a message from Wooyoung. “My cook said to tell you he made it extra-special just for you, and to look carefully if it has everything you want.”

Seonghwa looked perplexed. “Um, okay. It is the same order all the time, but, uh, please thank him for me.”

Shaking your head as you left, wondering if it was better not to know what Wooyoung was on about this time, you briefly contemplated life with different employees.

Back at the table, your crush poked at the food suspiciously and the omelet flopped open. Finely diced bacon, mushrooms, onion, and green pepper were secured in a thick layer of melted cheese. “Boss likes you back,” was the carefully arranged message formed by the ingredients.

Hongjoong was the first to notice the hot sauce embellishment in the shape of a heart on the upper portion and he lovingly teased, “Looks like everybody is rooting for you two to figure things out.”

Seonghwa would have been furious at this meddling from all sides if he had not already been thinking for a long time about dating you. Most of his sessions with Jongho these days revolved around the ethics of going out while married. At this point, he was the only one holding himself back. For some time now, Seonghwa's own children by his beloved wife had been urging their father to let himself date if he wanted. And truly, he longed for romantic affection and companionship in his life again. It was not that he did not want to begin another relationship, and he always did have you in mind, but he still felt a lingering sense of duty to his wife and the vows to forsake all others taken long ago.

Observing carefully to make sure they were not pressuring, Seonghwa's companions talked it over with him. San even Googled some caring, real-world advice from a clergyman about a similar situation which seemed to offer some relief. With newfound resolve found through the support of his friends, Seonghwa had an answer ready the next time you came by asking if there was anything he needed. “There is one thing I need, if it is okay with you. May I take out on a date?”

The hoped for words still took you by surprise so you slowly repeated, “You need to take me out?” You blinked, too stunned to do anything else. No customer had ever made that request before, and frankly there was no other customer you would have accepted the offer from. “Yes.” The certain answer was all you could manage to get yourself to say in the moment, but you must have said it aloud because his reaction was immediate.

Ecstatic, Seonghwa made an unserious suggestion, with laughter that reached his eyes. “Where shall I take you? Here perhaps?”

The thought of getting to know your crush under the eyes of your troublemaking staff horrified you. “Pizza, an ice-cream parlor, funnel cake at the fair will do, anywhere but here, please,” you pled.

After some consultation, the date was set and you retreated to the kitchen to recover.

“Did you accept? Please tell me he asked, right?” Wooyoung seemed overly knowledgeable for someone stuck in the kitchen while everything was going on. After updating him on the results, he grinned and showed you a photograph on his phone of the omelet message before it had been hidden. While you were tempted to playfully hit him at first, Wooyoung's thoughtful documentation of how your relationship began became a cherished memento later saved to your own phone and Seonghwa's since he had been too anxious to think of preserving it before eating.

The first date of many to come was a mix of both lighthearted and serious moments. There were things you both needed to be very realistic about if the relationship had any chance of succeeding. He was upfront that some of his in-laws would see your relationship as cheating on his wife. In fact, her sister would later try to wound you with the knowledge that Seonghwa would never have been yours if his wife hadn't developed Alzheimer's. The love and support you received from Seonghwa allowed you to be charitable toward her behavior since she had lost her close sibling to the disease. Still, he defended you with the firm boundary that she would be cut out of his life if she ever tried to hurt you again.

On his side, Seonghwa came to terms with the limitations of your own health. The sudden fatigue, the down days, and the need to listen promptly when your body needed rest were all facts of your life he needed to respect. In the past you had lost friends who could not comprehend that a diagnosis does not always mean getting better. This was your life, and Seonghwa accepted that, proving daily his worth.

You learned from Seonghwa's upbringing that he considered marriage sacrosanct. To even hint at the possibility of a sustained romantic relationship, no matter how unavailable his wife, was a huge step you were certain he was not taking lightly. Things progressed, and while his adult children were at first hesitant to meet their father's partner now that dating had become a reality, they were quickly won over to see the two of you together. When their dad had explained you were the reason his eyes sparkled again, they were completely supportive, more than you had ever hoped, even when you eventually moved in with Seonghwa and were present for all the family holidays.

Seonghwa's weekly visits to his wife continued. Out of respect you would wait in the car or begin grocery shopping nearby. A few times you had to abandon the cart when it was obvious Seonghwa needed your attention to console him after such emotionally draining visits. He made sure his wife was receiving the best care possible, but it was incredibly difficult to be a complete stranger, and sometimes one she became agitated to see.

When the call came one day that she had passed peacefully in her sleep, it was both a relief and heartbreaking. Seonghwa cried for both who he had lost and because his wife could now be at peace. You held him tight and rocked him to sleep.

Over a year had passed since her funeral. His sister-in-law had held her tongue while you were in the front row. Seonghwa had insisted that being between his children and with you nearby gave him the strength to get through the day. Most days he woke up telling you how grateful he was to be your partner. One day was different. He asked you to marry him.

It had been something the two of you had discussed on and off for years, more as a hypothetical situation. As a widower, Seonghwa was now free to remarry, but had needed the time to feel right. Sensitive to his situation, you had never pushed, and would have been his forever even without further commitment than your already shared lives. Still, now that he was truly ready, you accepted his proposal without hesitation.

The ceremony was a simple civil service. Seonghwa's kids were there, as were your friends Yeosang and Wooyoung. Seonghwa had remained close with his hobby friend group so Hongjoong, Yunho, San, and Mingi were also present. And then Jongho, friend to you both now that he had sworn off treating either of you ever again.

That night you lay in bed simply enjoying the closeness of being cuddled up to your husband. You must have been tired because your mind wandered to his deceased wife. “Sometimes I worry I took you away from her.”

Seonghwa looked at you fondly as he stroked your hair in reassurance. “The damage was done by her disease long before you entered my life. I love you for being so caring, but please don't let my past dim your happiness on this day. It is an occasion to celebrate.”

You nodded sleepily into his shoulder. Seonghwa would always carry a photo of his wife in his wallet, now in addition to one of your own wedding day. Acknowledging his past was necessary to loving him fully, and you never compared yourself to her. Without reservation, he had chosen you both at different times and there was no competition. The only thing that mattered going forward was the present, a long life partnered to the man you adored. Seonghwa absolutely loved you in return and made sure you were secure in that knowledge for the rest of his life.

~

Masterlist

[horror--wh0re]

Coffee Pot and Kettle

CHAPTER 1

EVENTUAL SERIES

Pairing: S.H./fem!healthcare!reader

Warnings: KitchenBoy!Steve, swearing, pining, flirting, slow burn, fluff, use of Y/N but not often

WC: 833

AN: This is my first real fic and fic series, so please let me know if you want more! Always open and happy for suggestions and criticism. 

Masterlist - TBD

It wasn’t the best job. Plain and simple. If you were being honest with yourself, you only took the job because your mother wouldn’t get off your back about having a ‘big girl job’ with benefits. Eventually, after a few months, the job grew on you.

Activities Assistant, your name tag read, right below your first and last name along with the terrible colored logo of the company you work for. Not only was it a job completely outside your future career goals, your specific job was to entertain residents in the dementia and alzheimer's unit of a nursing home. A very less-than-glamorous job, one that would bring pity and a few cringed looks from anyone close that you told when you first accepted.

Whatever.

As the months went on, you actually got into the swing of things. Most of the residents were very sweet when they weren’t having one of their episodes. Some would participate in the activities you would do, like when you would play a very preschool version of soccer or used trivia flashcards. Others would just be content to watch as you built some crafts or made them all friendship bracelets. The only real difficult parts to deal with were when a resident had passed. You already lost a few within 6 months, two of them you had really bonded with. But you still had responsibilities and other residents to entertain and care for.

The next resident you couldn’t help but attach yourself to was Ms. Baker. Due to the disease, and the fact that you won over her affection, she often thought you were her youngest and favorite daughter. ‘Debbie Jean’, she called you. Even though it was no where near being your name, you liked it. It meant she was happy to see you.

“Ms. Baker, would you like some coffee?” You asked her every morning.

“Sure! I’m not goin’ anywhere.” She chuckled, as if talking about a shot of hard liquor. Her phrasing made you smile as you went to pour from the pot you got from the kitchen’s breakfast pot. “Make sure there’s sugar in it, Debbie!”

“Yes, Ms. Baker.” You nodded. That woman needed about 10 packets of sugar per mug, or else she said she couldn’t taste anything.

The main thing you noticed with residents, not just Ms. Baker, is how much coffee they actually drink. Some could drink tea too, but it wasn’t the beloved (decaffeinated) coffee. Either they’ve forgotten how much they already drank or they don’t care, one small coffee pot in the morning was definitely not enough. Ms. Baker alone could empty that pot in less than two hours, and you had a whole day to fill.

“Sharon, I’m gonna get some more coffee from the kitchen.” You alerted the unit’s Nurse of where you were going. She nodded, moving to go and sit with the residents. They couldn’t be left alone, just in case. Carrying the empty pot from earlier, you headed down into te building’s basement where the kitchen was hidden.

Opening the door and heading in the kitchen, the steam of the dishwashers and cleaning machines warmed your face. Not that you’d see, but it added a rosy tint to your cheeks. It would have been relaxing if not for the loud bashing and clanking of plates being stacked and boxes being moved. The kitchen employees looked too busy to even notice you, and you didn’t want to be rude. You debated turning around and coming back in a few minutes when a voice greeted you.

“Can I help you with something, hun?”

You turned to the source, and your mouth went dry. Your eyes locked with friendly and enchanting brown ones.

“Uh.. coffee? Can I get some– it’s for the residents, upstairs.” You felt the need to explain yourself.

“Of course!” He smiled again, making your stomach twist. He gently took the empty pot from your hands and walked over to the machines to dispense you some more.

“I’m, I’m Y/N, I’m from the Activities Department.” You introduced yourself. Sure, you just saw a smoking hot guy within your reach, but you weren’t rude. “I’m always on the dementia unit.”

“That’s so cool!” He turned his head to you as he talked. “I’m Steve. Obviously, I’m slavin’ away in here.”

“Right, I see.” You let out a small, quiet laugh. He was dressed in a simple white T-shirt and dark pants, fluffy brown hair whisping out from the underside of his cap. The outfit was nothing special, but it somehow added to the boyish charm you were getting off of him. All too soon, your pot was full of hot, fresh coffee for your people.

“Alright, here you go!” He handed it to you and offered another award-winning smile.

“Thank you. I’ll see you around.”

“You will!” He promised. You walked away and out of the kitchen with the teensiest bit of pep in your step, in a much better mood than this morning.