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tiamathh · 7 months ago

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What to look for when it comes to your next partner?

Note: Hi!! Sorry I've been away for so long!! Please Like, Reblog and comment, if you like it/if it resonates. HAVE FUN AND DO NOT REWORD, STEAL, PLAGIARISE, REPOST MY WORK!!

Piles 1 -> 3

Masterlist • Tip Jar • Paid Readings

Pile 1

Hi Pile 1! Okay so this may feel a little shallow but here me out, for you a big point is going to be physical and sexual attraction. Your next relationship is supposed to teach you how to be more in touch with your sexual self, and that's why you need to look for someone who ignites that fire within your core. You should also look for someone who's actually in for the commitment because you may have a habit of going for people who are non committal because you may feel like if you keep it casual you'll seem cool to your partner and they may like you more, no, stop it, look for people who value you the way you value them.

Next, you need to look for someone who has a lot of experience with relationships, not a player per day but just someone who knows what they want and when they want it and operate in that way. Even when people know what they want, they can change partners and don't let that deter you from people with a lot of exes, it doesn't mean that they have commitment issues it just means that they may want different things at different times and may have had the guts to cut it off with people.

Lastly you need to look for someone who's not going to be wishy washy with you and will meet you at the same level of headstrong you are, because your stubbornness may not be cute but when paired with your next partners stubbornness it will end up leading to a perfect balance of two headstrong people who can fight all day but actually come to a conclusion or find a middle ground the both of you respect.

Pile 2

Hi Pile 2! This might sound Counterintuitive but you need to find someone for your next relationship who may feel open enough to disagree with you. You may be used to being around people who often share the same opinion with you, which is good, but someone who challenges your views will make for not only a more fun opponent but also someone whose views you can change or vice versa. I'm also getting that one quality that you should look for is that they share the same love for music or dance as you, basically the same love of the performing arts, this includes theatre/acting as well. I'm getting that your next partner may be someone who's very interested in this, especially into cinema.

They could be a film bro (gender neutral) and may love yapping for hours about their favourite film and the compositions, colours, lighting, music etc used in the film and how those aspects enhance the overall viewing experience of the film, they could be very active on letterbox lol. I'm also getting that one aspect you should look for in your next partner is transparency, it may sound like honesty but it is different because transparency signifies that this person will not only be honest but also take accountability if they ever go wrong somewhere and this level of accountability will build up a stronger bond and start healing the trust issues you may have from your past friendships and your relationships with your parents, because someone close to you will finally not only accept they did something wrong but also apologise and accept that.

Lastly! Look for someone who doesn't put you down, like even subtly. You may have had friends or partners in the past who may have been like "omg fr? that's so weird haha" even as a joke when it comes to your interests, but look for someone who will not put you down regardless of differing interests please I Beg.

Pile 3

Hellooo pile 3! Hyperspecific point from the very start, look for someone who knows the value of spirituality and crystals and stones that you may carry or wear on you at all times. If they even try to question your beliefs about spirituality that is not your next partner trust me. Your next partner is going to be someone who will share your interests and be on the same wavelength as you when it comes to spirituality, tarot and more.

One thing you need to look for in your next partner is that they may have a bit of an isolated or loner vibe, like they may not be big on huge gatherings and could be more introverted, they'll really appreciate their alone time and could be someone who does not divulge in PDA a lot, not only because they're shy but also because they'll believe that your business is just your business (in the rs I mean). Regardless of this they'll be someone who's very focused and goal oriented, your next partner is someone who's ready to sacrifice their comfort in the present to focus on their goals and work towards them relentlessly, they'll also be the kind of people who will let go of any comfort just to make you feel more comfortable, the kind to give you the bed and take the floor instead if there's only one bed and you don't wanna sleep together, very gentle and caring.

They'll just have this aura which screams "I welcome you and I understand" and that is exactly the kind of energy you need in your life right now. Lastly, I heard "duniya dedi" which translates to "gives you the world" so all I have to say is y'all better raise your standards and KEEP THEM RAISED!! YOU DESERVE THE BEST AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL GET KISSI <33

#pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #tarot reading #tarot readings #tarot community #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #tarot #intuitive #intuitive readings

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thragedys · 8 months ago

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CATCH A MOVIE

Sol x Reader

Synopsis: As planned yesterday, you, Sol, and Hyugo arranged to spend some quality time together. Just as you were about to reach the meet-up destination, you are stopped. It appears that plans have changed.

Word count: 3k

Includes: Sol x Gender neutral reader, implied heavy topics (if you have played the game, you will understand what is being referred to), soft Sol, kissing, disrupted intimacy

A/N: i recently purchased the kid at the back vn and adore it! very excited to see what it holds in the future

Planned the day before, you arranged to meet up with Hyugo and Sol on the rooftop for lunch. It’s becoming part of your routine, slowly distancing yourself from your past habits. As the seminar is dismissed, you quickly speed through the crowds of people, making your way up the stairs. Every step caused a creek, a snap, and potentially a crunch. This building is falling to pieces. Reaching the final few steps, you lean to grab the door handle.

…?

An arm extended from behind grabs you, prompting you to stiffen. With furrowed brows, you turn to meet the owner of the hand clutching yours, nerves settling as the familiar green hair sways all negative thoughts from your mind. Sol gazes at you from a lower step, his lips curving up as he watches your eyes soften.

“I thought you’d be out there.” You point to the door with your left hand, since your right is currently held captive by his.

“Change of plan,” Sol speaks clearly, his posture straighter than usual. His confidence is seemingly shining today.

“Did something happen?”

“What? No. Hyugo is… busy.”

The hesitation on the word “busy” suggests that what Sol has told you is not exactly the truth—or at least close to the full extent.

“He’s busy?”

“Yeah, busy. He told us to hang out without him, he’ll join us later.”

“Oh, all right then! What do you have in mind?”

“You told me you wanted movie recommendations, right?”

“I believe I did.”

“Well, I thought it’d be nice to… Watch one with you, like I said I would. My favorites are quite old, so…”

“Will they still be screened in the cinema?”

“About that. I have DVD collections at home, plus, it’ll be more comfortable. What do you think?”

Sucking your bottom lip in, you cross your arms and take into consideration his offer. Since your day is practically over, you have nothing better to do with your time. Due to what’s happening in the city, the better option is to not be alone.

“Okay, why not? It’ll be so much fun! I wonder what your place looks like.”

“It’s nothing fancy. Nothing like yours.” Forgetting himself, he pauses. A hot flush spread across his cheeks as he grabbed your forearm and dragged you down the stairs, continuing his sentence.

“—Your apartment building seems a lot nicer than mine is what I was supposed to say.”

“I’m sure it’s fine. It doesn’t matter where you live as long as you’re safe and have a roof over your head.” You smile at him, an innocent sparkle in your eyes.

“You’re too sweet.”

“A little bit of kindness can take you a long way.”

“There are a lot of people who prey on that kindness out here. Sometimes it’s better to be selfish.”

“As long as I have someone by my side, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll always be—”

Before you could reach the exit, a voice called out from the distance. You spin your head and see Crowe with a pile of books held close to his chest, a pleasant expression on his face. Unlinking your fingers from Sol’s, you hear a scoff. His eyes burn with envy as he glares at Crowe from across the hall, his presence alone repulsing him. You walk towards him and Sol follows closely behind, barely leaving any space between your bodies.

“Hello again.” Crowe greets you, his gaze flicking up to Sol who looms over you.

“Hi! Are you okay?” You scrunch your brows together as you notice Crowe’s features contort into an unreadable emotion.

While it may appear as a mystery to you, from Crowe’s point of view, all he can see above you is the lasering hatred burning through his flesh, straight through his bones.

“Never mind. I’ll talk to you soon, you look busy.”

“We’re not in a ru—”

“Let’s go.”

Sol seems eager. There’s no need to stand around when the conversation is no longer ongoing. His fingers tap against your knuckles and your fist unclenches, allowing him to lock his hold. Firmly.

Deciding to leave that incident unquestioned, the walk back to Sol’s place was filled with conversation. His tone shifted from eerily deep to his usual, soothing voice.

Despite his earlier claims, his apartment building is far from shabby. With the way he made it out to be, you expected his living conditions to be much worse. His room is on the third floor, tucked way back down the hallway. When the door opened, you could instantly recognise who this home belonged to.

It was dark, curtains limiting any spot of sunlight from shining in. There were a few paint supplies littered all over the place—nothing overly messy. You slip your shoes off and hang your jacket by the entrance. Sol disappeared, likely into the bathroom or his bedroom. Wherever he is, it’s not your concern.

You should never snoop around someone else’s home, even if you’re far more than curious about a person.

Falling onto the sofa, your eyes dart to a notebook left on the arm. A few pieces of paper hang loosely out, all pages crumpled. Just as you are about to pick it up, footsteps catch your attention as he returns. His eyes subtly drift from your face to the book he carelessly left out, almost cursing himself for the situation he could’ve wound up in even if he were a second later.

“You can go into my bedroom, that’s where the TV is.” Sol musters a smile, forcing his lips to twist up as he slips past you and subtly relocates the book.

“Should I take my clothes off?”

“Wh—” His mouth opens partially, a violent pink spread across his cheeks, threatening to reach his ears if he doesn’t dispel the thoughts that just entered his mind.

“Ah! I meant because I’ve worn these clothes all day, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to sit on your bed in them. If you have any spare, I wouldn’t mind changing.”

“Yeah… I’ll get you some.” It wasn’t something that he initially planned, but since you were the one who suggested it, who would he be to deny you?

Entering his bedroom, you take your time to look around. Some posters, a few albums, artwork—nothing you wouldn’t expect out of the ordinary from a regular man. Rummaging through his wardrobe, he pulls out a sweater he knows he has worn recently. His scent is trapped in the fabric since he has yet to tend to his laundry pile.

“Do you have any pants?” You add, cuddling the sweater tightly.

“It’ll be long enough to cover you. You can get under the blanket too.” Sol tilts his head askew, analysing your figure before you step out to strip.

It’ll be hard to process that he has you in his bed. Hard to resist. Hard to forget.

Upon your return, the sleeves of his sweater extend over your hands. It covers you well, rather skimpy, but nothing is revealed. He pats the mattress and you climb on, settling down on his pillows as he holds up the disk which contains the unknown movie.

“Do you want to take any guesses?”

“Uh, one of the Conjurings?”

“Session 9. Kind of underrated; it’s still good though.”

He inserted the disk into the DVD player and clicked start on the remote. It began, seemingly harmless like the beginning of a majority of horrors. Cautiously, Sol edges closer to you, slipping his arm around you and pulling you into his embrace. Your frame melted to his almost perfectly, your chin tilting up to see his features.

That put him in a tough position. Those eyes made his heartbeat spike, his body riddled with a chill. Lifting his hand, he held you in his palm, rotating your head to view you from a variety of angles. Your beauty does not decrease, no matter the position or amount of light that illuminates you.

“Is this scary?” You motion towards the TV, but he hums.

“Fear is subjective,” Those half-lidded eyes cause your body to heat up, his cheeks permanently tinted with a twinge of color. “But you have nothing to worry about.”

That was enough to reassure you. Along with his hands tightly wrapped around your waist, and the rhythmic sound of his heart beating close to your ear as you rest your head against his chest.

The movie played out, the psychological horror unfolding. It was perfectly directed, enough to invoke the correct amount of fear and curiosity, almost begging to discover more despite the eerie atmosphere of the asylum. While your attention was glued to the screen, his was stuck on you.

“Come on…” He mumbled to himself, his thumb pressed at the corner of your mouth.

“Hm?”

…

That look spoke for itself. His thumb slid across your bottom lip, pulling it down and letting it spring back up. If Sol wasn’t so handsome, perhaps it would be easier to suppress the feeling rising in your core. The movie drags on as background noise, losing yourself as he leans closer.

“You have scratches on the back of your hand.”

“Forget about them. They aren’t relevant.” His smile was pleasant, easing your investigative nature down before you could interrogate him. “We should do this more often. I like this. Seeing you in my clothes and all. You look comfy.”

“I’m really happy when I’m with you. I usually worry a lot when I’m alone, but—”

“I promise that you will never be alone even when you feel like you are. Stop letting all those negative thoughts into your pretty little head.”

“Sol will always come and save me if I’m ever in danger.” You grin, watching his smile transition to a smirk.

“Save you, yeah? That sounds good.” He rests his lips on your forehead, securing a peck before pulling back. “I’ll never need to save you again though. Fuck all of that, I’ve learned from those mistakes. You will never leave my sight.”

Your eyes widen as his nose presses against yours, gently rubbing them together. It was intimate yet also affectionate, an ideal combination to weaken you further. Though he was not immune, he was also crumbling.

“If you keep me safe, I’ll look out for you too. In any way I can.”

“You don’t need to, but I know what you’re like. You’ll do it either way.”

“Where are your plushies?” Your breath hits his face and he closes his eyes momentarily before reaching behind the pillows and pulling one out.

“I hid them, they’re here. This is my pony that Hyugo couldn’t keep his mouth shut about.” The plushie is clearly in well-loved condition, likely a source of comfort for Sol when he felt he had no one else to rely on.

“It’s very cute. It’s lucky.”

“Is it?”

“It gets to cuddle you. Probably every night.”

“You…” Sol can’t help but beam, his face a bright shade as he places the pony under his chin. “If you want to cuddle me every night, I’m not the one stopping you. Feel free.”

“I don’t get a lot of opportunities to.”

“We can make some opportunities then. How does that sound?”

“It sounds like a great plan. I’ll be waiting for more details.”

“When I cuddle,” Sol shifts, his hands on both sides of you, trapping you under him. “I like to get all of my emotions out. That’s something you should know.”

“I can handle that.”

“Can you?”

It didn’t sound like a question, more so a challenge. Pulling down the neckline of your sweater, he revealed the crook of your neck. Two of his fingers lightly rub against the faint bruise, almost captivated at the mark he left on you. You didn’t even know it was there, but he did.

He’ll make sure you know this time.

Dipping down, he connected his lips with the damaged skin. Your body shuddered from the sudden contact, his hand slowly travelling to your arm to pin you to the mattress. He opens his mouth, instinctively latching his teeth to you. It stung. The force his jaw clamped down on you was something you weren’t expecting, causing a cry to flee from your lips.

He wants this mark to stay. He’ll make sure it never has the opportunity to fade.

“Sol—”

Recognising that breathy call, he is quick to replace his rough actions with desperate kisses. Inhaling your scent only drove his urges wilder. It was almost animalistic, pure desire and drive. The way his tongue swirled around your wound almost felt like an apology for breaking through your skin.

When he pulled away, he smiled down at you. A display of sincere adoration. Your chest heaved, matching his. Breaths filled the silence of the room, the movie paused while the remote was discarded from the bed. Hoisting the blanket back, Sol revealed your legs which are tightly pressed together.

“Did it feel good?”

“Mm…” An agreeing sigh.

Prying your legs apart, he moves between them. Your face is cupped in his tarnished hands which somehow remained soft to the touch. You wondered how his lips would feel against yours, if they were soft too. It’s hard to deny the rouse of your emotions, your body is begging for something more.

It seemed like he read your mind, or perhaps your body language. His lips forced their way to yours, overpowering you in all physical ways. He was devouring you, craving you to silence the anguish he had been enduring.

It’s just not fair. You’re his, aren’t you? Why should he have to watch as other people attempt to make their moves on you? It enraged him, they have no respect. You were never anyone else’s, only his.

His hands began to tremble, the full weight of his body collapsing on top of yours. You were gasping for air, stealing his since he refused to take his lips off of you for even a second. The cool material of his piercings contrasted with the warmth emitting from his body, making all hairs rise.

He couldn’t believe you were kissing him back. It’s so different when you’re awake.

The rattle of the front door was unbeknownst to you both, too endeavoured with tending to one another’s needs. Sheets rustle, hardly audible moans trapped inside of the locked bedroom door. Another world created, separated from regular life.

“Guess who! It’s been such a crazy day. I hope you didn’t miss me too much.” Hyugo calls out to both of you and is met with silence.

“Hellooo?”

“Sol? Did you go out without me?” He whines as he takes his shoes off and struts through the apartment. “You wouldn’t ditch me without telling.”

Noticing the locked door, Hyugo pokes his tongue to the side of his cheek as he fiddles with the lock. It didn’t take much for the weak door to open, revealing Sol lurking over your body. His hands under the sweater that covers you groping your flesh, his lips still joined to yours as the collective grunts are now freed.

“Oh, gross! What the hell?!” Hyugo’s eyes widen as he exclaims in shock, causing Sol to go still.

“Shit…” He murmurs, placing his forehead against yours with a disappointed glint in his gaze. “Hyugo.”

“You could’ve told me. I called out way more than three times!”

“You did?” Sol’s hands savour a final grip on your chest before agonizingly sliding out from under the fabric.

“Duh! I thought something might have happened to you two, but I was wrong. Clearly.”

“Sorry… We’ll make it up to you, I promise.” You glance over at Hyugo and he scoffs, covering his eyes with his hand.

“What? Are you both going to fund the therapist I’ll need after walking in on whatever that was?”

“Hyugo,” Sol snickers, rolling off of you and lying down by your side. “You can sit down.”

“Do I want to sit on that bed after what you’ve just been doing?” The plastic bag in Hyugo’s clutch rustles as he plops onto the mattress, keeping his distance from both figures present.

“Anyway. I got what you asked for, and I also got us all a gift.” Hyugo opens the bag and pulls out a fresh sketch pad for Sol, as well as a miniature pony plush, similar to his bigger one.

“This one is for you.” Hyugo passed you a teeny black kitten, its eyes almost bigger than its face. You make sure to thank him and he nods.

“I got myself a giraffe because it looked cute. Oh, yeah. I also got this. It’s like I have built-in sensors.”

Hyugo reveals the last item in the bag, a box of condoms, and slides them over Sol’s way. His face glows a bright shade of fuschia and his eyes darken, shooting daggers through Hyugo’s teasing being. Sol leans over you and shoves them into his bedside table drawer, simmering with embarrassment as he notices your flushed expression.

“Well? Are we gonna watch the movie or what? I’m sure it can’t be scarier than what I just saw.”

“Enough.” Sol reprimands him, pointing down to the remote which remains on the floor close to Hyugo.

“Oh, you were really into it, huh?”

“Hyugo!”

In response to Sol’s yell, his devious chuckle rings out. The DVD begins where it left off and the remote is returned to the centre of the mattress. You remained in Sol’s embrace, his arms securing you to his broad frame.

Time slips away, the end credits of the movie rolling out leaving Hyugo with more questions than he initially intended to depart with this evening. He places his bowl of popcorn down and speaks.

“I’m confused by the ending.” Hyugo huffs, reaching for the remote to switch to a new channel.

With a peek from the side of his eye, he found you and Sol passed out, fast asleep in each other’s arms. He pokes Sol’s cheek a few times—neither one of you has plans of becoming conscious anytime soon judging by his brief assessment.

It was sweet in a way. Hyugo’s heart warmed seeing Sol with you, he seemed so content. A pleasant change from his usual stoic expression—he’s at peace. Before escorting himself out, he was sure to drape the blanket over your bodies. Someone has to take care of the two of you. As long as Sol has you, Hyugo could rest peacefully knowing his vulnerable heart is in a safe place.

#tkatb vn #tkatb sol #the kid at the back vn #the kid at the back sol #the kid at the back x reader #fanfic #x reader

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ayeforscotland · 1 year ago

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We’ve discussed purity culture a couple of times on this blog and I’ve just read one of the best articles I’ve ever seen on the subject.

Here’s a paragraph from it.

“The desire to exclusively engage with media and art made by “unproblematic” artists is a direct result of Americans viewing media consumption as an inherently political act because that is the supreme promise of Western prosperity and the religion of consumerism, and because it’s seemingly all that’s left.

We’ve been stripped and socialized out of any real political energy and agency. Our ability to consume is the only thing remaining that’s “ours” in late capitalism, and as a result it’s become a stand-in for (or perhaps the sole defining quality of) every aspect of being alive today — consuming is activism, it’s love, it’s thinking, , it’s sex, it’s fill in the blank.

When the act of consuming is all you have left and indeed the only thing society tells you is valuable and meaningful, the act must necessarily be a moral one, which is why people send themselves down manic spirals deciding what, who is ‘problematic’ or not, because for us the stakes are that high now.”

#ayeforscotland

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truelovedetective · 1 year ago

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cool neat fact about true detective s1 (if you didn't already know!) is that all of the 1995 sequences were filmed on physical film and weren't filmed in popular/contemporary digital format. the 2002 era onward was all filmed digitally, so you may have noticed a subtle shift in the atmospheric quality of the cinematography. genius choices. peak cinema. and every time I rewatch the 1995 sequences I can't believe how gorgeous they are, how the film adds this silent layer of ambiance. you can sense it in a strange way that adds to the viewing experience. good shit! edit as of may 2024: I had to come back on here and do some minor course correction, because back in the distant epoch of 2014 there was some popular misinformation going around online (between here and reddit, I believe) at the time about the era-specific filming nuances and my grizzled memory did not understand the full scope of the actual filming technique. APPARENTLY, the entire season was indeed shot on 35mm film on a vintage camera (adam arkapaw you will always be famous), but they specifically changed the lenses used on the camera to depict subtle differences in the picture and cinematic experience between 1995/2002 and then later in 2012. the more you fucking know

#true detective #true detective season 1

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harrysgal · 10 months ago

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (6)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

About yn: although the character does not have a faceclaim, pictures suggest reader is white.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PART 5 // MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 6) — PHILLY AND DC

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liked by bestfriend, lookitsnyoh, mollyjane_x and 74,215 others

yourinstagram sorry guys, had to visit my parents really quick to meet the new addition to the family. i also went over to my best friend just so she could tell me ‘i told you so’, did some thinking while staring through the window, and had some quality time catching up with my niblings. everything went great and it got me all excited for what’s coming next :D i honestly cant believe how lucky i am to have all these great people around me.

now im back to duty and ready to spread all my love around, so… who wants some?

view all 11,401 comments

user7 YESSSSSSS HIIIIII THERE YOU ARE!!! user13 omg did your parents get a puppy??? 🥹 harryfan3 when i got to the end of the caption tho !!!!!

↳ harryfan11 right?! so SASSY omg i love this woman

anthonypham 🙋‍♂️

↳ lookitsnyoh 🙋🏼‍♀️ ↳ paulithepsm 🙋🏿‍♂️ ↳ pillowpersonpp 🙋‍♀️ ↳ mitchrowland 🙋‍♂️ ↳ _basselin 🙋‍♀️ ↳ glenne_azoff 🙋‍♀️ ↳ jefezoff 🙋‍♂️ ↳ harryfan5 STOP THEY’RE ALL HERE TO SUPPORT HER 😭 ↳ harryfan64 Harry isnt tho ↳ user9 they alllllll want some love lmao i love it ↳ harryfan64 not Harry tho. bc he didn’t comment ↳ harryfan27 ＠harryfan64 for the love of God just stop you’re embarrassing our fandom

user1 im glad to see you here. hope you’re feeling our support 🥰❤️ harryfan YOU’RE SOOOOOO�� loveynrry this is why we haven’t seen her around with harry then :’) bc she took some days off

↳ user13 no bc the fact that he probably gave her some days off after what happened is so sweet :’) ↳ harryfan80 or maybe he just didn’t want to be linked to her anymore so he sent her away ↳ loveynrry ＠harryfan80 fuck off from my comment

user5 yn really said “fuck you for posting that shit” and that’s why she’s so awesome bestfriend miss you already <3 bestfriend we’re the lucky ones btw bestfriend also ily

↳ user4 you two are the coolest i want to be friends with you too ↳ harryfan17 okay but what were you right about tho 👀

harryfan18 This is so childish 🙄 you could just address the rumors instead of adding more to them yknow

↳ harryfan25 how is she adding more to the rumors? just curious ↳ harryfan18 When she makes jokes about it but doesn’t say things aren’t true she’s allowing them to keep the narrative going ↳ harryfan25 she never allowed them to “start” with this narrative, tho ↳ harryfan18 Maybe not. But now she’s clearly aware of what’s happening and what they’re saying so she could put a stop to it instead of making jokes about it ↳ harryfan25 honestly I don’t think she would be able to stop them but ok ↳ harryfan74 She clearly wants the attention so of course she won’t stop the rumors

harryfan26 very funny but do you have a bf or not???? user15 WE LOVE YOU ❤️

Sep 15, 2021. •

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liked by harryfan18, harryfan22 and 217 others

harryupdates Harry out in Philadelphia with some friends!

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harryfan31 awwww he’s so happy harryfan35 yasssss my love <3 can’t wait to see you tomorrow!!! harryfan18 no yn around FINALLY

↳ harryfan56 good. she should stay with that bf of hers and away from him ↳ harryfan48 I knew Harry would put a stop to that whole fiasco after the truth came out ↳ harryfan52 yep. and I’m pretty sure we’ll slowly fully stop hearing about her

harryfan15 can people leave yn out of their mouths pls 🙄

Sep 16, 2021. •

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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, sisterinlaw and 61,917 others

yourinstagram what a crazy crazy busy day! didnt think i’d have time to walk around the city this time but turns out i did and omg!! im glad i was wrong bc philly you’re truly GORGEOUS <3

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loveynrry can’t believe yn went to a museum and harry wasn’t there lol harryfan5 omg i’m going to the show in DC and I’M SO EXCITED harryfan5 would it be okay if I approached to say hello?? dont want to make you uncomfortable I just love your videos so much Id love to talk to you about it

↳ yourinstagram omg yesss that’d be totally okay! you’re so sweet for asking <3 see you at the show! ↳ harryfan5 omg???? STOPSJFNAK ↳ harryfan3 GIRL SHE REPLIED ↳ harryfan5 I know stop I’m losing my mind I DIDN’T EVEN THINK SHE’D SEE IT OMG

harryfan49 WHERE’S HARRY?!!

↳ harryfan66 living his own life bc he finally realized what a shitshow she is

user1 😍 so pretty! it must be amazing to get to know all these places

↳ yourinstagram it is! its been one of my favorite parts of this job for sure :)))

harryfan54 You’re not fooling anyone we all know Harry wasn’t with you

↳ user3 ??? she never said Harry was with her?? ↳ harryfan54 C’mon she keeps posting all these vague things just so people wonder about it ↳ user5 you should see a doctor. istg this can’t be healthy

harryfan72 isn’t it funny how after those headlines came out we didn’t see harry and yn together anymore ☠️ user5 can harrys fans leave this comment section? WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE SO GTFO

↳ harryfan3 i swear not all of us are like this :( ↳ user5 no omg i know that :( i’m sorry it’s just annoying to see these comments taking over her posts thats all ↳ user17 also the fact that she replied to some people shows she’s reading things :( ↳ user9 istg if yn stops interacting with us because of them… 😠 ↳ harryfan3 yeah i get it guys :( i wish there was a way to stop them ↳ harryfan19 I hope she at least knows how many of us really like her

Sep 16, 2021. •

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liked by harryfan18, harryfan22 and 357 others

harryupdates Harry and Yn out in DC this morning!

view all 81 comments

harryfan5 stopppppp user9 oh i love this! harryfan9 MY BABIES 😍 harryfan78 you can’t even see their faces so how do you know it’s really him?

↳ harryfan68 it’s not them lol ↳ harryupdates It’s 100% him. The fan who saw them also took a picture with Harry but asked us not to post it. ↳ harryfan78 right 👍 how convenient lmao

Sep 18, 2021. •

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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, jefezoff and 92,127 others

yourinstagram im supposed to fall asleep but im too excited so here’s a post with some glimpses of this long and marvelous day

view all 13,987 comments

iloveyn respectfully, those are legs for days 🫡 harryfan the way i just GASPED!! loveynrry i LIVE for the concept of pictures 1 and 3 being on the same photodump harryfan3 MOTHER bestfriend 🔥 bestfriend 👀 lookitsnyoh pls step on my face

↳ anthonypham pls step on my face ↳ bestfriend pls step on my face ↳ user3 pls step on my face ↳ harryfan19 pls step on my face ↳ user2 pls step on my face

harryfan29 idk why buy harry’s mom liking her posts is so funny to me lol harryfan62 This is so inappropriate harryfan80 ??? I can’t believe you just posted a picture of your legs along with pictures of your job

↳ harryfan25 wait, what? no offense but how old are you? lol ↳ harryfan80 old enough to know that’s highly unprofessional? ↳ harryfan25 unprofessional to whom? lmao she’s barely showing her legs whilst harry is fully naked on his cover album so i doubt he cares ↳ harryfan13 hahahahaha that’s so true omg ily ＠harryfan25

user15 ohhhh 😍 i love bold and confident yn harryfan91 so are you dating harry or not????

↳ harryfan76 she’s not. She’s just desperate for attention ↳ harryfan84 also, she has a boyfriend!

harryfan5 THANK YOU FOR BEING SO NICE TO ME I LOVED LOVED LOVED MEETING YOU

↳ harryfan5 THANK YOU AGAIN I MEAN IT YOU’RE THE BEST ↳ yourinstagram emmaaaa ❤️ thank YOU! you’re the sweetest and I loved talking to you :))) hope you had a great show!

Sep 18, 2021. •

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— — — — —

PART 7: FROM DETROIT TO ST. PAUL

— — — — —

Tag list: @toldyouitwasamelodrama @gem1712 @metanoiablxxm @awatt31 @namelesssreaderrr @ameerakane20 @yessswhale89 @idkkkkkkk123lgb — PLEASE READ: I’ll only add to the next tag list those who interact with this post. I hope you understand, thank you for your excitement.

#harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles fake social media #harry styles smau #harry styles social media au #harry styles writing #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry x reader

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elysiansparadise · 9 months ago

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May I ask if you can do Neptune in the 5th house please💘💘

Hello love, of course you can! 💘

Neptune in the 5th house

These natives will always seek deeper and more meaningful experiences in love. Superficialities scare them and they will prefer relationships that, although they happen more slowly, have a real quality in which they can create a stronger and more meaningful bond. In matters of romance, they daydream a lot about it, have many fantasies about it and, regardless of their appearance, are romantic and loving souls when it comes to enjoying and approaching love. They have the ability to love unconditionally and selflessly, making this type of love very elevated, but it can also lead to personal sacrifices. And since we are talking about sacrifices, for them in love both parties have to be able to adapt to the other, accept each other as they are and make small sacrifices for the other. They tend to be attracted to mysterious, intriguing people with a big heart and emotional depth. If Neptune is making tense aspects, it is likely that they idealize their relationships or prefer to live romance from their fantasies to avoid being disappointed by what they perceive as a harsh reality. They like the idea of connecting so deeply with their special one that they both understand each other without words, that they communicate through looks and smiles and that in the relationship there is unconditional love and support.

They are people of truly captivating beauty, there is something in their aura that attracts the attention of other people. They are an enigma, a beautiful mystery for both strangers and acquaintances. Their stage presence is magnetic and magical, easily enveloping people in a spiral of emotions and charm. These natives can be talented in any of the branches of art, from music, dance, cinema and other forms of creative expression. It should be added that spiritual talents or gifts are also very likely. They may enjoy activities such as astrology, tarot, and other esoteric practices. Their creativity can be very fluid and adaptable, allowing them to try out different art forms and expressions without being tied to a specific style or preference.They often use art as a way to explore and communicate their deepest feelings and view of the world. Many of them see their hobbies as a way to escape from reality or where they can find refuge after a bad day. They have a strong spiritual connection with their hobbies and interests.

Throughout their lives they can have many platonic loves. We can add that love is one of the things that inspires them the most or that can even put them in a good mood, and it is not only limited to their love life, but the love life of friends, or the fictional one between characters. One of the things they should be careful with is when it comes to getting to know the person they plan to connect with, because they give absolutely everything in love, they must make sure that the other party is really worth it. They find fun and a strong passion for spiritual themes that allows them to have a better sense of who they are. In the case of wanting to be parents, these natives are the type to give everything for their children, wanting to cover all their needs, emphasizing their emotional needs. The relationship with your children can be deep, strong and really beautiful. Their children can be very creative, somewhat shy, very dreamy and very affectionate and expressive with the native. They will be very understanding and loving parents, although they may idealize their children.

-> Go back to the masterlist

#neptune #5th house #natal chart #astro note #astrology #birth chart #neptune in the 5th house #neptune in the 5th #neptune in the 5h #neptune in 5th house #neptune in 5th #neptune in 5h #5h neptune #astro observation

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helloyellowsunflower · 4 months ago

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♤⊰•˚₊‧. 𝔻𝕖𝕦𝕔𝕖 𝕩 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤.‧₊˚•⊱♠︎

!!Possible Spoilers for White Rabbit Fest!!!

Confession:

It takes a while before he gathers the courage to confess. You are a very dear friend of his and he doesn’t want to lose you. However, he can’t stand having to pretend that he doesn’t have any feelings for you either.

And so, fueled by his determination (and eager to prove Ace that he is not, in fact, a chicken),he decides to ask you out.

Needless to say, it doesn’t go as planned.

At first it looks like he wants to run away, but he reminds himself that he has to do this. And so, he starts talking:

At first it looks like he’s reciting a text by heart while he’s looking straight into your eyes, which, let’s face it; is a bit awkward! But by the half of it, he’s lost all of his bravado and begins stuttering and tumbling over his words only to finish bowing and saying: “...So please go out with me!”

Poor man is a tomato, standing there fidgeting while he waits for your answer. Oh Sevens, please say yes

When you agree to go out with him it’s like someone told him he wouldn’t need to go to Crewel’s classes anymore. My god he looks so happy. If the look of sheer adoration in his eyes is anything to go by, I’d say you just made him the happiest man in all Twisted Wonderland.

First date:

You know Deuce strives to be a model student, a better version of himself; so he wants your first date to be perfect. Or as perfect as it’s going to get.

Since his budget is limited, you’ll probably go to the town’s library or to a free access art exhibition; or if you prefer to do something outdoors, you’ll probably go for a picnic in a nice park (with food made with the help of Trey and Cater, who did not trust Deuce around the kitchen or Ace and Riddle to help) or walk around town window shopping.

If you do end up in town, he’ll probably use this as an opportunity to show you to his favourite blastcycle shop, showing off his knowledge of the various models and characteristics. If only his ability for memorising history events and dates was as good as this.

He’s sorry he can’t take you anywhere fancy, but he swears that when he’s saved up enough he’ll take you to the cinema or to a nice restaurant; and if you’d like to, he’ll give you flowers.

Anniversary + Love languages:

Cater told him that forgetting your anniversary was the equivalent of saying you wanted to break up, so Deuce made sure he marked down in his calendar the day of your first date to celebrate the following year. It gives him something to look forward to, celebrating one year together. Plus, having it written down acts like a little reminder of why he’s improving himself (along with this mother’s birthday and the day he was told he was accepted at Night Raven College).

He takes your anniversary very seriously, and he’ll spend weeks saving up so he can get something nice for you; even if you tell him he doesn’t need to give you anything.

Deuce strikes me as someone who expresses his affection with acts of service and gifts because he finds it easier to show his appreciation for others that way since words evade him sometimes. He might not be very good at giving others compliments, but if you need a helping hand, he’ll always be there for you; and if he knows you want something, he’ll do his best so that you can have it.

As for him, I think he would enjoy quality time and words of affirmation over anything else. He won’t say no to a hug or a small present, but he values greatly when others set some time aside for him since he knows that most around him are very busy people. He also knows that he’s not perfect,that he makes a lot of mistakes, so when someone tells him he’s doing great or even good he feels all fuzzy inside. Please keep complimenting him when he gets something right, he loves feeling like he’s made progress from how he was before.

Arguments

Unfortunately, your views and personality can clash sometimes, leading to disagreements that have escalated once or twice.

Arguments between you two are not very common though since you do your best to communicate your feelings and your reasons for doing things a certain way so even if you don’t always end up agreeing on what you’re doing you both learn to compromise. However, due to Deuce’s hot headed nature and impulsiveness, things can get a bit out of control.

On those rare occasions, you both decide to spend some time apart to cool off and try to think things rationally. Deuce spends that time reflecting on his actions and what has caused him to act the way he has. Again, he is trying his best to be better, so he has done a bit of research on how to de-escalate arguments as well as keeping his anger under control, finding better outlets you know?

It is possible that during that time you see him venting his anger by aggressively painting all Heartstabyul roses red.

Going to the White Rabbit fest

You’ve already gone together when you went with Silver and Epel to visit Deuce’s hometown to help out his mom, but this year’s the first you’ll be going together. Which, come to think of it, doesn’t make that much of a difference, oh well.

I mean, the only difference will be that Deuce’s mom will tease the hell out of his son (she loves him to bits) and use this as an opportunity to dig out every photo album she has to show you; Deuce’s first White Rabbit fest, his looks when he still had his hair dyed…

She insists on taking your picture, wanting to commemorate the moment and while she won’t refuse you helping her out at her stall like last year, she wants you to have fun and enjoy your time at the festival; maybe get a nice clock or a watch or something if you didn’t get to last year.

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flamevbirdv · 1 year ago

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video essayists for these trying times!

I watch a lot of youtube so I thought I could round up some recs!

verilybitchie my favorite of the list. bi, trans lense on queer media. expert on calling out lazy representation. famously known for their video "good lgbt representation is boring" but my favorite is a bisexual history of dracula

The Morbid Zoo incredibly smart and sharp commentary on movies and social media. horror fan, clown fan, twilight apologist. my favorite video of hers is the pale man:physical fascism

Maggie Mae Fish powerhouse of the media analysis sphere. I learn so much every time I watch any of her videos. very clear spoken and funny. if you haven't checked her out yet this is your sign. some of her greates hits are "LGBT in fantasy" "superman won't save the cat" "fight club, an analysis" but loki, stalker & the war on terror blew my mind

Princess Weekes bi black icon. the place to go for videos on pop culture, race, feminism, etc. her video how true crime reveals the corruption of the legal system changed my life, no hyperbole. also check out her video on "purity culture & fandom"

Rowan Ellis queer media and history. recently tackles cultural issues like "the infantilization of millenial women" and "corporate queerbaiting" the problem with activist characters is a personal favorite of mine

Ladyknightthebrave a channel with less videos than most of the folks above but you need to watch her video on holocaust cinema

Quality Culture channel shared by two people who love movies (and music!) and research the shit out of their videos. some I really enjoyed are "death note: finding meaning in a meaningless world" "the iron giant: a study in heartfeel film making" and the conflicting ideals of hayao miyazaki

The Princess and the Scrivener it's been a while since they uploaded a video but if you are a fan of disney, these are your gals. however I have to reccomend their videos on dissability and ableism "the wonder of misscasting" and the shape of ableism a joke on the shape of water, yes this video is that old

BONUS!

Elliot Sang he talks about the real world with probably the most nuanced view I've seen from a youtuber ever. another list of greatest hits: "ADHD: a nightmare under capitalism" " is tik tok ruining music?" and "the problem with video essays" LMAO

#video essay #queer media #queer analysis #youtube #james somerton #adyacent #recommendations #mine #bisexuals make the best videos XD #hbomberguy #video essays

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rariw · 6 months ago

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heads to watching horrors with jojo villains, because why not

dio

will constantly think about how characters could have acted differently in this or that situation. since he reads a lot, and likes to do it more than watch, he will constantly compare adaptation with the original and discussed with others (pucci espescially)

kars

watching films of any quality, would be surprised by the spec-effects and would observe the gradual evolution of cinema (he decided out of boredom to spend his free time watching all existing horror movies in one gulp, starting with the very first and ending with modern ones, because why not? besides, he is immortal, theres no concept of time for him)

kira

to begin with, he would carefully checking his schedule so as not to disrupt the daily routine due to watching a movie (in my headcanon yoshikage has ocd), and then prepare space and food so that everything was "peaceful and calm." he watches horrors with a focus on detective stories in order to possibly learn something new for himself

doppio

is easily scared off by screamers. sincerely sad when animals or children suffer in the frame. if scene is too frightening, doppio will close his eyes or turn away. he will ask questions about the motivation of the characters (why did they go there? why are they doing this?)

diavolo

tries not to show that anything scares him, like he's not impressionable anymore, but sometimes he was really scared. maybe he'll die of fright a couple of times. and after movie, for at least two more weeks diavolo will look around, be afraid of every rustle in the dark, skip from the toilet to bed at night, and close windows with curtains (in my headcanon he has paranoid schizophrenia)

pucci

i don't think he's really interested in watching anything on tv. but out of politeness, he will still sit in living room with others, doing something of his own and occasionally glancing at the screen. he doesn't miss much, even if he's looking at fuck off. if he's interested in the dialogues, he will join the viewing. pucci also doesn't mind watching something with dio and discussing it with him.

valentine

perhaps he will think that everything that is happening is real (like a documentary, news or something) until someone explains the opposite to him. if valentine is asked to turn up the volume or rewind, he will look at the board with sincere incomprehension (if by that time he has not been taught how to use it, or if valentine himself does not guess)

tooru

he will watch absolutely any movie just to kill time, although he still prefers the good old classics (even if he has already watched them 10 times). tooru pays special attention to the music in movie, and if he likes the soundtrack, he will find it at any cost to listen to during night walks for atmospheric

acca howler

....whu?

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taringill · 3 months ago

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GUYS, I FINALLY WENT TO SONIC MOVIE 3!!!🎉

It's me with Amy Rose:3

This is my little brother with a Tails:3

It was yesterday, January 18th. Why is it so late? Because I live in Russia-_- The premiere in Russia took place on January 16, 2025💀 Although the premiere in the CIS is on December 26, 2024. But it was the Russian Sonic fans who were unlucky...

Why is the premiere so late in Russia? Because our distributors wanted to make room for our domestic films, so that Russian films would earn a lot of money, and not foreign ones. And they chose the New Year holidays because it is a very profitable period. Yes, it looks pathetic😂 That's how uncompetitive Russian cinema is. Instead of making normal films, they take the place of foreign films🤡 If you've been wondering why I haven't posted anything about the movie for a long time, then here's why...

In short, I LIKED IT!❤️ I was experiencing different emotions and didn't notice how quickly time flew by😭 There were cringe moments and jokes that needed to be cut out... I like that the film has a constant plot and epic! Literally the first 5-7 minutes and there are chases, fights, actions and a plot! There are few unnecessary moments compared to the previous parts. In short, a well-deserved 8/10🫶 At the moment, in my opinion, it's the best movie in this franchise! ABSOLUTE CINEMA!🙌

Sonic movie (2020) - 6/10

Sonic movie 2 (2022) - 7/10

Sonic movie 3 (2024) - 8/10

IT'S JUST MY OPINION!🙏

Today, on January 19th, I watched the movie because I couldn't hold back. But I watched the original movie for Keanu Reeves as Shadow and IT'S PERFECT!

And also😃 Next to my brother and me was a girl, about my age, with a medium-sized stuffed Sonic:3 We looked at each other and laughed. It's funny and fun😅 Sonic fans think the same way😌 At the beginning of the movie, everyone and we both admired Shadow, and when the song "Leave and Learn" started at the end of the movie, she and I were in awe of shock. She took her Sonic and moved his arms as if he were dancing😁 It is very cute🥹 It was funny to watch her violent reactions😂 God, my dear, I understand how you feel🫂 And coincidentally, we sat down together:)) This is clearly fate!😭

My brother said to me, "Do you see, Vika? We are not alone"😂 It was a lot of fun! I will remember this day for a long time and I really want it back!🥲❤️‍🩹

For me, this trip to the movie is really important! Why? It was with the first movie that my acquaintance and immersion in the Sonic franchise began, and I liked the movie so much that I wanted to go to every new movie. And I thought that nothing would stop me, but a war broke out, followed by sanctions😞 I watched the movie at home in poor quality... The Russian dubbing of the film was shown in Kazakhstan. I was so upset then😭 It's only the second movie, and I couldn't go. I prayed that this would not happen with the third film. And I showed the greatest willpower in my life!💪 After the world premiere, I waited a MONTH for the Russian premiere so that the first viewing would be in the cinema. I'm also a fan of going to the cinema😃 I avoided everything related to the film as much as possible. The only spoilers I got against my will were the post-credits scene where Amy and Metal Sonic appeared. And if I was expecting Amy, then I was shocked by the appearance of Metal Sonic!😧 Personally, I didn't expect it...🫣

My younger brother and I will definitely go to Sonic 4 in the spring of 2027😄 I hope nothing's bothering us, PLEASE...😭🙏 When part 4 comes out, my brother will be 12 years old, and I'll be... 19, almost 20🥲

Thanks for reading!<3 Wait for more posts on Sonic movie 3.

#sonic movie 3 #sth #sonic movie universe #my thoughts #IT'S PERFECT #ABSOLUTE CINEMA #sonic the hedgehog

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myjisung · 2 years ago

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stray kids : their perfect date !

content. stray kids ot8, gn!reader, short hcs — fluff.

warning. general mention of food in minho's bit

wordcount. 900

bang chan ( 방찬 )

any date fulfills chan's need to spend time with you but the perfect date, to him, is a day spent at the beach. you are no stranger to chan's love for the sea so, you often offer to travel over to the coast in order to spend some time together, enjoy the scenery and walk barefoot in the water. chan would shine the brightest in those moments, especially when you join him in the water to be silly together. those days at the beach are exhausting but, chan's smile is worth every bit of fatigue you feel the day after.

lee know ( 리노 )

minho likes to spend quality time over a good meal, which is why he really enjoys eating out with you. he would let you pick the restaurant or menu and then have the best time ever. it's not really about the food but more about sharing a moment together, eating off of each other's plates and sharing dessert. he likes the way you pout when you realize you do not enjoy the food you insisted to choose eventhough he told you you would not like it. but minho also loves switching dishes and letting you eat what he picked specifically for you in the first place.

changbin ( 창빈 )

if you were to ask him what he thinks is a perfect date, changbin would reply that any date with you is what comes the closest to being perfect. but if he had to choose, he would say that he enjoys it the most when you go out to grab a drink until late in the night.

changbin likes laidback dates outside. sitting at a bar, with a cocktail or any kind of soda just to talk about anything that comes to your mind is his definition of a perfect moment spent with you. he finds that it is in those special instances that he connects with you best, when you bask in his own presence and let yourself flow with the conversation.

hyunjin ( 현진 )

now this one might be on the nose but hyunjin absolutely adores dates at the museum. he loves walking around in a quiet space all while admiring works from his favorite artists. he enjoys the intimacy of holding conversations in hushed voices and looking at your face when deep in thought in front of an artist's work. hyunjin would tell you everything he knows about the pieces he is familiar with and answer all the questions you might have about them. he is the type to bring both his camera and sketchbook along with him and he might end up drawing a quick sketch of you admiring a beautiful picture if the opportunity to shows itself.

han ( 한 )

he's a nervous guy. han would be stressing about an upcoming date days ( if not weeks ) before it happened—getting all up in his own head and imagining the worst case scenarios until it was time to go. one way for him to feel less anxious about it and fully enjoy himself is to take you to the movies. what jisung likes most about dates at the cinema is that he does not have to stress about conversation starters. once the movie is over, he knows you will be talking about it and have a good time whether it was a good or bad watch.

felix ( 필릭스 )

now this guy loves an over the top date. he absolutely adores to go on adventures with you, which is why he enjoys sightseeing dates! he would brainstorm with you what places, what views, you have been wanting to see and he will make it happen on that next date you guys have planned. felix loves it from the booking of train tickets to the ride home and the way your head falls on his shoulder when you doze off.

he loves to take pictures as the day goes by—to share them with you but also to keep some of them to himself. felix loves experiencing new things with you.

seungmin ( 승민 )

as a simple guy, seungmin loves simple things. he is not big on sitting around and do nothing but talk ( tho he enjoys it thoroughly as well ). so, a perfect date for him is to go on a walk with you. he likes the park the most but seungmin could make do with any setting. he likes an unplanned route, talking about everything and nothing at the same time while you walk around. sometimes, those walks turn into completely different dates. you've walked past a cute looking café? it becomes a coffee date then. the book shop at the corner caught your eye? let's read a book on a bench at the park and talk about it as he walks you back home then.

i.n ( 아이엔 )

jeongin usually lets you pick the places you go to when you plan dates together. not that picking is a chore, but rather because he likes making you happy. however, the few times he insists you go somewhere together, it is always to go book a karaoke room. he likes sharing an interest of his with you, showing off the new techniques he has been taught or just watching you kill highnotes in front of him. jeongin adores singing ballads along with you just as much as he enjoys screaming to the tune of cartoon's opening songs in the same mic as yours. those are moments he looks back on fondly whenever he misses you.

taglist. @l3visbby — let me know if you would like to be added / removed.

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mbti-notes · 3 months ago

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Anon wrote: Hi,I’m an INFJ, 29. I have a question about developing friendships when struggling with low self-worth/shame/social difficulties. There’s a woman I work with who’s very easy to get along with. She’s extremely friendly, approachable and always giving out invites to people. She often invites me for short walks after work or to go to the cinema together on the weekends. I enjoy her company and learn a lot from her. But I fear I don’t have as much to offer her as she does me.

Maybe because she has many qualities I admire and a lot of meaningful life experiences, and I don’t have anything like that, so my shame often takes a hold of me and prevents me from being fully myself and genuine – I constantly worry about whether I’ll have something to say or if what I say will be interesting. She’s often the one guiding the conversation; there are a lot of silences, where I’m worried about what to say next and she’s always the one to fill them because my mind goes blank.

I’m confused as to why she keeps putting out invites even though I’m not a great conversationalist. I keep accepting because I like being with her, but sometimes feel that it’s selfish of me to do so because my shame/low self-worth is holding me back from fully present with her. On some level, I understand I might be projecting my own self-worth issues onto her, unable to see what she sees in me.

I’m worried she invites me only out of convenience (we both have no partner/children, we work together in close proximity, etc.). What reasons could there be for people to give someone like me a chance, when my social troubles are so evident? Perhaps I could just ask her, maybe it’d give me a more objective view of myself, but I don’t know if it's okay.

I guess I’m wondering if it’s okay to have relationships with others with such a glaring lack of self-worth. Should I work on myself first to an acceptable level before attempting to be with people? Is it right to be putting myself out there even though I feel like I’m unable to give them as much as they give me?

--------------------

IMO, those aren't the right questions to ask. The right question to ask is: Why are you unable/unwilling to give as much as others? This would lead you more efficiently to the heart of the matter.

I'm not here to tell people what to do or convince them to change their ways. I present factual information/research to people who already have a strong desire to improve. Do you have the desire? If so, tell me what you've done to work on yourself so far? What plans have you made? What progress have you achieved? Are there points of failure that need analyzing by an objective third party?

If you had come at the problem from this angle, then I would feel confident in your desire to improve. But it sounds like you're still trying to unconsciously dodge the problem rather than solve it. If you care about improving, there are some things you need to understand:

(1) Regarding Insecurity

I don't have the power to read her mind for you. Constantly questioning people's intentions is a common sign of insecurity. You ask me about her "motivations", presumably because you want some kind of guarantee that she actually likes you. This is not how you handle insecurity. This is a manifestation of Ti loop, which is unhealthy.

There are no guarantees in life. If you're waiting around for one, you'll spend a lifetime in waiting. At some point, you just have to trust people, or else the relationship can't go anywhere.

Have you considered the possibility that she understands what it's like to have self-worth/shame issues, so she has empathy? Have you considered the possibility that someone could see you not for your worst but for what you could be at your best? Why is it that I know you have these issues yet I don't shun you or hate you?

(2) Regarding Shame

Not everyone thinks like you. Yes, there is projection happening. You look down upon yourself, but it doesn't mean other people do, too. It seems whenever you are presented with concrete proof that she likes you, you instantly doubt it and think the worst of her. Isn't it tiring, even insulting, to always think the worst of people, especially when they've done nothing but try to make you feel good, welcome, and included? Have you reflected on why you have this habit of distorting the facts?

Yes, low self-worth and shame have a negative effect on how you perceive people. But where does the low self-worth and shame come from? Shame is a healthy emotion that everyone feels on occasion. However, shame becomes toxic when there is no reasonable basis for it. Thus, ask yourself what prompts you to take shame to extremes. Your task is to improve your emotional intelligence so that you can tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy shame, and then learn to disregard/disarm the unhealthy kind.

(3) Regarding Anxiety

Toxic shame is a common contributing factor to social anxiety. Social anxiety can make people very closed-off and too fearful (of being judged) to develop relationships properly. Lacking a healthy social life and strong social support system, social anxiety often manifests in tandem with other mental health issues, such as: withdrawal; loneliness; depression; personality disorders; addictions.

If social anxiety is serious enough to interfere with living your life as fully as you hope to, then it veers into "disorder" territory. For example, it's clear you want a relationship with this person, or meaningful relationships in general, but psychological obstacles keep holding you back. If you suspect that you have full-blown social anxiety disorder, it is best to get professional help for it.

It is normal to feel anxious when you believe something might threaten your survival or well-being. However, just as shame can be taken to extremes, anxiety "disorder" means you have a tendency to misinterpret threats, overreact to threats, or invent threats where there are none.

I don't know this person you're interacting with except for what you have told me. From my perspective, there is absolutely nothing in your description to indicate that she is someone to fear. In fact, I'd be happy to know someone like that. She seems like a kind person.

Of course, this is no guarantee that she will never ever be put off by anything you do. If you're looking for that sort of guarantee, then you have a problem of unrealistic expectations.

How am I to really know what offends you until I cross some of your lines, and vice versa? Disagreements are normal. When you take a relationship deeper, you are bound to run into points of conflict. It is not a reason to get anxious but rather an opportunity for two people to get to know each other better, through proper communication.

It is unclear why you approach relationships in such an anxious way. Social anxiety means you blow relationship threats out of proportion and perceive every problem as life-or-death. You need to change this attitude if you hope to have meaningful relationships with people. It might help to learn about attachment styles and how to change old relationship patterns.

(4) Regarding Avoidance

Anxiety isn't cured by avoidance. People who suffer social anxiety often choose to avoid social interaction, for what they claim to be "safety" or "comfort" or "ethical" reasons. Taken to extremes, these excuses can gradually morph into avoidant personality disorder.

When you avoid socializing, it means: i) you lose every opportunity to hone and sharpen your social skills, and ii) you lose out on meaningful life experiences that would help you build a stronger sense of self, from which to have more to offer/contribute.

Avoidance produces a vicious cycle of feeling worse and worse about yourself because of feeling more and more socially incompetent. For INFJs, with Fe higher in the stack, it means type development stops.

How do you think self-worth should be improved? People build their sense of self through their successes but also their failures. The answer to being bad at relationships isn't to withdraw into a mental cage. The best way to improve your social skills is through making social mistakes and then learning from them, which means you have to challenge yourself to invest fully and see things through.

(5) Regarding Rejection

Having such a dire fear of being judged means you have a lot to learn about drawing healthy emotional boundaries. This topic comes up often, so you can read previous posts about it.

The shame is your issue, and if your friend is capable of drawing healthy boundaries, she doesn't take on your problems as her own. It doesn't have anything to do with her, so why should she have a strong opinion about it, other than to be a good friend and care about it because you care about it?

It's like, before you can feel comfortable and confident enough to proceed, you want people to sign an ironclad contract stating that they will never ever judge you or never ever reject you. Is this reasonable? Aren't you just wanting a slave at that point?

It's fine to have low self-worth and shame, really. They're just feelings. What matters most is how you react. It isn't shame that destroys relationships, rather, the problem comes when you allow shame to hijack you to the point of sabotaging relationships.

People who suffer from toxic shame externalize it and believe that the problem lies out there, in others' judgments and criticisms. That's not the case. You're actually afraid of what others think about you because you don't want them to trigger all the bad things YOU already think about yourself.

Yes, there are jerks and bullies in this world, but this isn't that sort of situation, is it? In this situation, the problem isn't people out there being legitimately scary. The problem lies in how unforgiving you are of yourself. Your friend sounds like an understanding and accepting person, so I doubt she would judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. But that doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things.

At the end of the day, people are going to think what they think, feel what they feel, believe what they want to believe, like what they like, hate what they hate, and decide how they decide... which is their right and their business - not yours (i.e. boundaries).

When it comes to self-worth, what matters most is what YOU think, feel, and believe about yourself. And is that not fully under your control? On what rational basis is there for you to judge yourself so negatively and harshly? Low self-worth isn't resolved by avoiding reminders of it, rather, it is resolved through self-acceptance. You won't be able to escape crippling fear of rejection until the day comes when you finally learn how to stop rejecting yourself.

#infj #auxiliary fe #ti loop #shame #self worth #insecurity #self acceptance #trust #boundaries #criticism #social anxiety #social skills #ask

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qilingxiong · 4 months ago

Text

twilight of the warriors: and the award for best in nostalgia goes to...

i've spent a lot of time in the last couple months thinking about this movie. not just the characters, the story, and the film's production, but also about the place it's come to occupy in hong kong media and film history since its release. and there's one thing i keep circling back to.

when i saw twilight of the warriors for the first time, back in august, the very first thing i said when my parents and i got out of the theatre was, "that was a very 80s hong kong movie".

in hindsight, i would say this is in an understatement. totw doesn't just 'feel very 80s'. it's a tribute, a love letter to 80s hong kong, which reproduces both the city and the cinema of that time. this is in nearly every way it can, from the fight choreography, to the casting, to the overarching themes and genres it pulls from, all in a prominent setting specific to hong kong that nothing in the present can erode the image of (the walled city was demolished from 1992-1993. it belongs to hong kong's past). this was a movie made by people from the 80s and 90s, for people who remember, or want to remember, hong kong and its action from the 80s and 90s, through and through.

and it worked. it worked beautifully. totw was a massive hit at the box office, it got a standing ovation at the cannes film festival, and it's been nominated as hong kong's pick to send to the oscars in 2025. its success has been a rallying point for the hong kong film industry, after years of lamenting that it's been suffering a slow death, with the city's action movies in particular having been perceived as falling in both quality and quantity. (the movie 武替道 (stuntman), released this year and coincidentally starring totw actors terrance lau and philip ng, attempts to reckon with this phenomenon and the fading away of hong kong action cinema. it's an interesting watch when considered in dialogue with what totw came to represent.)

as a result of totw's quality and achievements, there's been one very common sentiment echoing throughout all the media buzz and internet noise surrounding the movie: hong kong cinema is back.

the following press interview snippet with terrance lau (shin/信一) in the film, describes his perspective on the worldwide reaction to totw with more detail:

"我[印象]深刻就有好多外國觀眾，佢哋講話其實等咗我哋[香港電影]返嚟好耐啦。(...) 即是waiting for the comeback噉樣。噉啊… 我諗呢句說話喺我內心重量好大嘅，即是呢，香港電影大家都知係沉寂咗一段時間啦。噉，我覺得呢套[戲]，我唔係好希望只係個別例子。我希望係一個開始，不淨係《九龍城寨之圍城》。我覺得成個行業好似幫大家打打氣，噉我哋一齊再繼續做好香港電影。"

"One thing which left a deep impression on me was how a lot of international fans said they'd been waiting for us [Hong Kong cinema] for a long time (...) As in, they'd been waiting for the comeback. I think this phrase weighed very heavily in my heart, because everyone knows that Hong Kong cinema has died down for a while now. With this movie, I hope it's not just one of a few rare examples. I hope it's just the beginning, and there's not just Twilight of the Warriors. It's as though the entire industry helps cheer everyone up, and so with that, we can continue making good Hong Kong movies together." (x)

totw is being viewed by both its creators and audiences as a revitalization of hong kong cinema, with more movies in its vein hopefully to come (some of those will be in the totw franchise, as both a prequel and sequel film adapting different parts of the novel series are slated for production). it's a rainstorm after a drought to push the industry forward, one reminiscent of what many consider to have been the 'golden age' of hong kong's media.

within this phenomenon, however, lies a paradox.

in looking through audience reactions and thoughts toward totw, it seems that it isn't necessarily praised for being a breath of fresh air, because it's a good 2024 hong kong movie.

rather, it's a good 1980s hong kong movie that was released in 2024.

and even if not quite being talked about as such, it's in no small part the ways in which totw visually, thematically, and historically connects back to 1980s hong kong that have caused it to have such a huge cultural impact.

now, i've seen online reviews before that complained totw didn't do anything new for its genre. there were similar story beats as other older modern jianghu/martial arts movies, similar character archetypes, etc. to which i say: why does everything have to reinvent the wheel? for what totw set out to do, it accomplishes it damn near close to its fullest. it's a solid story with a broad cast of interesting and well-acted characters, and the visual highlights of the movie— the walled city sets and fight choreography— were incredible. the movie was made with care and passion across the cast and crew, and it shows.

yet at the same time, when it comes to making waves across hong kong cinema, and breathing life back into the industry: is copying wheels the best we have to offer here?

i would argue that the response to totw is part of a much larger cultural reaction. the decades of the 80s and 90s are cemented so solidly in the collective memory of hongkongers (both local and diaspora) as the city's heyday that we cannot help but return to them in story. time and again, whether consciously or not. the 'golden age' of hong kong and its cultural exports are intimately recognizable symbols, comforting and nostalgic to many. given how hong kong has changed in many ways since then, up to the present day, it is admittedly no surprise that a movie of totw's qualities garnered so much attention and support. it only makes sense, that this is the classic vision of hong kong cinema people want to throw their passion behind.

but i still can't help wondering, every now and then: is there a modern hong kong cinema comeback on the scale of totw that could ever happen, away from the imaginary of the 'golden age'? or are we determined, destined even, to spend the future trying to return to the past?

i think i already know the answer.

and at the same time, adding to the bittersweet is that i know how and why we wound up where we are. the 80s and 90s were the era when the concept of a local hongkonger identity began to form, independent of other geographic regions or people's origins. if those years, their history, and memories of them are what people identify themselves as hongkongers by, who can truly begrudge them that?

as we draw further and further away from that time, maybe reminders of those decades in media like twilight of the warriors are just what they have left to hold onto.

#sorry everyone i'm an anthropology major and hk language + culture minor and i'm making this everyone else's problem #i know only maybe 3 people are actually going to read this #i don't care #九龍城寨之圍城 #twilight of the warriors: walled in #meta #ashton originals #hong kong nostalgia studies

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