#Christopher didn't have to die

[datworm]

I'm not over it even if he appears after this my heart can't take it there's just not enough of Christopher

[youryanderedaddy]

Dark Is The Night

Summary: A late night encounter with a patroling soldier changes the trajectory of his life - and, unfortunately, yours too.

tw: female reader, obsessive behavior, non - consensual touching, threats, thoughts of non - con, mention of war, patronizing behavior, slight misogyny, hinted kidnapping

All he could think about was you.

It was a damp linden night, one of the very few old fashioned ones - as if time itself had stopped. The old colonel was laughing in short sharp breathes, skin spotting in red along with his sweaty neck, tearing into a letter he had received this very morning. The young soldiers were all over the tavern - some crying, some cheering over a beer and calling each glass their last, losing themselves in the rich foam that covered their fresh military mustaches. Christoph was alone, though.

He had no wife to write back to - no home to call his own, no friends or family to celebrate his final battle with. He also wasn't a rookie - so he couldn't drink himself blind in the pursuit of ideals, of empty promises of greatness to come. Truth was, his troops had won their fair share of battles, and today they had signed a treaty that would certainly benefit the district - the one he had lost his youth fighting for. He knew the capital would attempt at invasion, those greedy fucks wanted to bite more than they could chew - but that was no longer his problem. Today his contract ended. Today he was a free man.

And yet.

And yet all he could think about was you.

It was funny - he had spent more nights than he could remember wishing he could burn this half - dead village to the ground, all together with the maidens and the elderly still stick fending for themselves after the war. He presumed he'd be doing everyone a favor - he'd rid himself of the memories that haunted his dreams, and they wouldn't have to suffer any longer, not when all that winter would bring once again was even more hunger and decay.

After all, the victory changed nothing. The starving populace wouldn't starve anymore - it would simply die, having lost fathers, sons, daughters, farmers, merchants, healers. Nothing less than the very foundation of society. So maybe it would be far less cruel, far more humane, to burn everything and let them die with dignity.

But then you too would burn with the miserable souls of the damned. The man pictured it all - your beautiful skin still damp from the rain blistering in red and orange, and eventually black, those gems of yours trembling beneath your long eyelashes as the smoke swallowed your last breath.

The thought made Christoph irrationally angry - jealous even. Not only because he just imagined you dying, but because it was someone, something else stealing your final moment from him. Something else bruising your skin and forcing your lips to swell, something else causing you pain and suffering. No, he couldn't let you die. Not like this.

He couldn't help but recall your first meeting two years ago. Unbeknownst to you he had memorized it, citing each line by heart - envisioning it in his memory over and over each time he needed an escape, an outlet. The soldier wasn't one for softness, never one to dream and hope - but deep down he knew that this simple encounter had swayed the bullets. It had made him grip his rifle just a bit closer, made the biting wind just a bit warmer. He was a killing machine undeserving of humanity - yet you had saved him without even realizing it.

It was a cold winter night - quite opposite to this one, in the middle of Hell. The county your village was part of had been surrounded for a few weeks. Food was running low, and even clean water was scarce. All the men had been displaced a long time ago, sent off to fight in the eastern territories. Christoph was stuck at the Iron hills, a region so poor they didn't even bother to send additional armies to. If it lost, it lost. It held no special resources, no cultural or economic significance, no sea or forest roads to profit off of. All in all, no one wanted to serve here. No one but him.

Not that Christoph was too fond of the hills - it was more so that he didn't care where he was going to die. Whether it was on the eastern front, the western or even on the other side of the ocean, it didn't matter. And he had made peace with that fact - but before death took a toll on him, he was going to earn enough buck to buy good cigarettes for once in his miserable life. With real tobacco, none of that cheap imported trash they sold in his hometown.

And that's exactly how fate let him meet you. He was patrolling the border bridge late into the night - a thick cigar in hand (a parting gift from the general Murphy), humming to an old melody he couldn't quite remember the name of. He was alone that night - his friend had been injured so he needed to rest. The man was trying to stay alert, although the fatigue had long settled in between his tired bones and it refused to let go. The lack of sleep and the sheer paranoia was making him jumpy, ready to point his gun at the slightest of sound. He almost shot you that night.

"Colonel." You had whispered through gritted teeth, slowly raising your hands up as you approached him with a hesitant step. He blinked twice, unsure if he was still awake. Surely there was no way a young woman was out alone so late during wartime. "Colonel!" You repeated, putting a bit more force into your otherwise soft, calm voice. This seemed to snap him out of his trance and he finally raised his head to look at you, his sharp, intense gaze measuring you up from top to bottom. Just like a predator seizing his pray, like a soldier trained to keep his eyes on the target, he knew no other way to introduce himself other than with a silent, unspoken threat.

"A bit young to be calling me that, no?" The man snapped back, voice coming out more raspy than he intended - but it was hardly his fault. He rarely had visitors nowadays - no one wanted to expose themselves to the front lines, to risk becoming smoked meat, which meant he had little opportunity for chatter. So his voice had become rough - almost unnecessary cruel.

"I'm sorry." You mumbled, blurry eyes focused on the weapon resting oh - so snuggly against the soldier's heart as if guarding it. "I'm not familiar with your many titles, sir." You explained with a certain bite. Christoph squinted, growing amused at your little jab, yet the black mask covering his mouth hid it from you. The man knew exactly what you meant. You were not used to so much surveillance on your step - on everyone's step, so many eyes set on you as if you had a massive red target on your back. You were not used to armed forces ghosting around your small homely village with a gun resting at an arm's length just waiting to be loaded.

He wondered if it was your first time running into a soldier since the beginning of the occupation. He wondered if you were scared - if your heart was beating against your chest like it was trying to break through the skin. After all he was indeed intimidating - with heavy combat boots and a black uniform that did little to hide his rough figure, the lineage of lean muscle and battered blistered skin that undoubtedly belonged to a man. A man whose hands were still covered in dirt and blood. He could kill you. He could push you around - get some entertainment out of you. He could shove you down and use you like a cheap village whore - and no one would care because that's just how war is. He was serving his country, he needed an outlet, and you just happened to be there. No one would blame him.

He couldn't bring himself to come closer to you. He didn't trust himself to hold back when faced with something so fragile after months of letting his fists and his teeth do the speaking.

"That's lieutenant to you, miss." He barked in a tone that felt familiar - a tone that used to wake him up every morning at 5 for weeks on end. A tone that he could still hear every time he loaded his rifle and let go of the trigger with shaking fingers.

He couldn't be nice to you. He couldn't be nice to anyone in this bloodshed. And yet he heard himself asking you for your name. It hadn't meant anything - it was a long night and he was bored. Lonely, maybe, he couldn't tell his feelings apart very well. You hesitated for a second too long before you finally gave him a clear answer. It was the most beautiful sound he had heard - not just now, but ever.

"Would you mind explaining why you're here so late, miss?" The man tilted his head, trying to understand your unreadable expression - somehow you looked lost in time, striken by fear and grievance. "I believe the general gave direct orders this morning. No one should be out after ten." He paused to take a long, dramatic puff off his cigar. "It's too dangerous. Especially for a pretty little thing like you to be roaming at night." He knew his boldness was making you uneasy, and that he shouldn't derive such obvious pleasure from your discomfort, but he just couldn't help it. He was lonely. He was sick. And most of all, he was a bastard who had already given up on life. He had nothing to lose.

"Truth be told, if you were mine I wouldn't let you out of sight, miss." He grinned, feeling just a bit disgusted with himself. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted to scare you. To creep you out so bad you'd never go out alone again. Why he had got so invested so quickly, he also couldn't tell.

"I... I needed a breath of f-fresh air, l-leutenant." You responded quickly, eager to leave this conversation as soon as possible - completely ignoring anything he said. Your initial confidence had evaporated as the wet cold crept into your thin coat. It didn't fit your frame - it was too big on you and it reeked of a man's first proper cologne. The thought of it filled the soldier with unreasonable, hot -red fury, imagining you next to some nameless brat with his hands wrapped around you.

"That's all?" The corners of his lips stretched mockingly as he let his smoke blow into your face - and you had to fight the urge to immediately wave it off.

"Are you, are you implying something, sir?" You fiddled with your fingers nervously, looking anywhere but at Christoph. He found it pathetically adorable. "Just curious." He took another long puff - his breath coming out frozen - white as it hit the icy air. "You don't seem like the brave type to me." His eyes narrowed to two pitch black slits. He must have looked terrifying to you in that moment, and he loved it. "So just what-" He pulled you in by the collar. "Are you doing here, huh?"

You froze in place as if he had pointed his gun to you yet again. You swallowed loudly, trying to come up with an explanation - but nothing came to mind when you were so obviously scared. The soldier could feel your heartbeat - he could hear the blood pumping to your ears as you looked around hopelessly for help that wouldn't come. And just like that the wolf had the rabbit dancing in its own trap.

"Are you just looking for trouble, hmm?" The man reached in to curl his finger around one of your loose locks. He didn't want to make you feel so awfully small - but everything about this situation, from the tremble of your lips to the sheer panic in your eyes was going straight to his cock. "I'm sure that with a face like that you never lacked attention, no?" He tilted his head with predatory malice. "But now all the men bending over backwards for you are off somewhere, dying as we speak. Poor little you - I can imagine just how lonely you are." He pressed his body closer to yours. "The thing is, I am more than willing to play with you in their pl-"

"Please, lieutenant." You couldn't stand to listen to him any longer, a thousand warm pleas already falling off your desperate lips. "Please let me go." Your eyes softened, trying to hide the first sign of hot wet tears. "I need to go home to my siblings. I need to bring them fo-"

"Why should that matter to me, dollface?" It was his turn to interrupt you - voice full of childish glee as he kept up with his petty torment.

"Because - because," You started off, hands shaking into little fists that you knew, realistically, could do the soldiers no damage were you to push against his chest. "Because you're a good man." You mumbled after a while, looking for the right words to say. "And I know that deep down you're kind and brave. That's why you're here now, fighting for all our lives."

You were such a pretty liar, Christoph thought. He could listen to your sugary sweet fairytales all night long, silently praying that they'd become true if he was only able to capture his own little fairy - his own miracle.

"What if I am not the hero, doll?" The man whispered darkly in response, leaning against you until your back hit the tree behind you, trapping you between his stiff body and the pillar. "What if I am here for all the wrong reasons, huh? Just think about it." He lowered his head so it would match your eye level - you were so quiet he wondered if you had forgotten how to breath.

"We're in the middle of nowhere. I have a weapon and a direct permission to shoot at will. I can do whatever the fuck I want." He made sure you could hear every single word clearly. He wouldn't let you faint before he was through with you. "I can fuck you right here in the open - or I can drag you to the barracks and keep you there for as long as I need to. Do you really think anyone would care about some insignificant girl going missin-"

"Please." You repeated, suddenly getting stirn with your pleading, as if you too had nothing to lose. "Let me go - I'd do anything."

His eyes darkened - then lit up with sick, perverse desire. He wanted to echo your words back to you just like a classical villain would - to really drive the point across that he was out for blood. Anything, you say? Anything at all? But he couldn't contain his excitement enough to voice those sadistically banal thoughts. Besides, he could already feel the adrenaline running through his whole body. His heart was beating rhythmically, pumping and alive for the first time in days, weeks, months. He wanted you more than anything. It was that moment he knew he was going to live - he was going to fight and win, and then come back for you as a hero. As your hero, even if in your eyes he would be more of a villain.

A nightmare you'd try to forget - and just when you think you have erased his fingertips off your waist, your face, your neck, he'd come back to steal you away forever.

"Kiss me." Christoph all but snarled, some unfamiliar, needy - greedy ball of emotion settling into his loins as your delicate face twisted into a petrified grimace. You began trembling in his arms, looking around yet again. It was pitch black, no soul in sight. You inhaled deeply, trying to steady your movement to no avail. "A-alright. I-I..." You whispered with difficulty as if simply saying the words was causing you a great deal of pain. And maybe it was, but the soldier could care less. He already knew you were made for him - made to serve him, made to make him happy. "I'll d-do it."

The man growled in satisfaction, taking a small step back. You looked at him, puzzled - your confused face was just as cute as your scared one. He couldn't wait to explore all your reactions - the way you'd squirm and writhe underneath him as he fucked into you restlessly, filling you up with his love over and over again until you were crying for mercy. But that had to wait, he had a war to fight. For now he could settle for a little taste of you to keep him warm during the cold nights. And just like that he tapped his lips, guiding you silently. You felt your cheeks heat up once you finally understood what he meant by that. He wasn't going to kiss you. He wanted you to put in the work.

Your eyes filled up with tears, and you felt silly for becoming so upset over a little kiss - but this was your first kiss, and you had to give it to a monster. It was certainly better than the alternative, with the alternative being rape in a filthy military cottage, but it still made you feel dirty all over. Yet, you had no choice. You took a step towards the man - you could feel the suffocating warmth radiating off his body towards yours, and if the situation wasn't so grim, you might have been grateful for another human's heat in the freezing cold. But now all you could feel was dread.

You stood on your tip toes, a shaky hand reaching out to cup the stranger's face. Cristoph smirked, complecent at your obedience. You licked your lips and slowly, hesitantly pressed them against his, just barely touching at all.

He groaned, unable to keep his hands to himself any longer. He grabbed you and pulled you in roughly, squeezing you like a plush toy. He deepened the kiss, forcing his tongue deep into your mouth, finding heaven between your soft, sweet lips and broken whimpers. You were so innocent. So lost. He wanted to take you into his arms and never let go. He wanted to keep kissing you until your lips turned blue, until it hurt to speak.

And then you pushed him off just like that, using your own body as a distraction. He tripped backwards, too shocked and lost in sensation to stop you. He smiled at your final act of defiance. It was, of course, adorable and so painfully you, yet it didn't really matter - not in the long run. You had only suceeded in making him want you more.

But that was two years ago. Now the war was finally over. Now he had enough to start a new life. Now he was a free man.

And he was coming back for you.

[wellcollapse]

buddie is canonically romantic. to Me.

eddie was introduced to buck slow-motion style. buck tried to battle his inner bisexual rage for an entire episode but couldn’t stay angry at eddie’s pretty face for longer than twenty minutes — my guy folded the minute eddie extended that first olive branch. buck wistfully watched eddie and the little boy he would come to love as a son through a glass-paneled window not knowing that he’d eventually belong on the other side of that glass door. buck provided the solution to eddie’s very first on-screen struggle and wormed his way into eddie’s heart and home all in the span of one episode. without eddie asking him for any of it. buck called eddie attractive at least three times in season two alone. and then an elf called them gay and buck skipped away after hearing it. eddie gave buck the most precious thing in his life to cheer him up. and buck lost him. but eddie came back to him anyway and then gave him the second most precious thing — something he couldn’t even give his own wife — his trust. they had a lover’s spat in a grocery store. buck was treated like a grieving widow when eddie was buried underground. eddie’s memories of buck and chris were enough to pull him back from death’s cold embrace. eddie nearly bit buck's head off at the train derailment because he couldn’t stand the idea of buck risking his own life for abby. when eddie was shot, he spent the moment he thought would be his very last reaching out for his best friend. buck saved him. of course he did. eddie was planning to stick it out with a woman he knew he could never love and would never love until buck reminded him that he deserved better. buck got pistol-whipped after nearly going off on someone who threatened their eddie's child. eddie left the 118 and buck made out with his replacement. buck was in the room. buck's girlfriend talked to the woman he cheated on her with and buck never once bothered to intervene because he was too busy spending time with eddie. buck helped eddie patch up the holes in his wall. buck spent an entire season looking for the right couch to rest on and then passed out within seconds on eddie's couch. the right couch. buck was struck by lightning and eddie's hands brought him back to life. eddie couldn't look at buck while he was in a coma because it reminded him a little too much of losing his wife. but he brought christopher in anyway. of course he did. they went on a date where eddie stared at buck like he wanted to consume him. a little part of eddie died in that cemetery. eddie asked buck to perform Official Coparenting Duties with his son. buck uttered eddie's name eleven times in the episode where he discovered his bisexuality. buck was left at the curb on his first date with a man and his first priority was still the fact that he lied to his best friend. both of them actively looked like they wanted to die at the idea of nothing changing between them. eddie suggested matching couple's costumes. they sang what i like about you. buck ripped off eddie's shirt. eddie poured beer in his mouth. buck was the one to pull eddie out of the world that he tried to imagine with kim. their final scene of the season was the two of them. alone. together.

...who the hell is that? you can have my back any day. there's nobody in this world i trust with my son more than you. are you hurt? three minutes and seventeen seconds. comes in handy when you have a bunch of holes in your walls. you don’t have to tell me how great eddie is, i’ve known that since the first day i worked with him. what you always do. talk to him. you know how much christopher misses you? how could you. you're not around. i forgive you. you didn't end up like you. you act like you're expendable, but you're wrong. you were missed. thank you. for not giving up. he got the help he needed and that started with you. two cut lines. you don't have to be anything for anybody. can't you both be good cops? no. isn't that what we all want in a partner? knowing that they have your back? he’ll love you like we all do. i love you, i love you, i love you.

buck and eddie’s story is already a romance. regardless of their current relationship status in canon, their story is already a love story. and i wouldn't have it any other way.

[jackwhiteprophetic]

ALWAYS GOING BACK TO "TWO CUT LINES" and the whole team understanding that Buck would prefer to die with Eddie than be left behind having failed to save someone. When he saw Buck's face after he got out, Eddie knew it too.

To Buck, wanting to die for someone is the only way he knows how to love them, because he thinks that is all he has to give, to show he should be kept around (as a body, as spare parts;) His parents taught him this, even though he didn't know about Daniel. Buck intrinsically knows what it is to exist having "failed" to save someone and it is his deepest fear to have that happen again.

Eddie saw that Buck would rather die with him than fail at dying for him and it fucking terrified him and also it terrified him to think that Buck and Christopher, two halves of his heart, could be split up if his stopped beating and so he changed his will, legally forced Buck to stay and he made sure that they can never have two cut lines but now Buck has to love Chris and Eddie by staying for them instead of destroying himself for them...

[simplylupin]

Vertigo and Eddie Diaz

because the connection has been made between eddie's current arc and hitchcock's vertigo, i thought i'd give my two cents on the topic as a mediocre film student whose had to study vertigo for two years of her life

so here's a basic (very over-simplified) summary of vertigo for those who are unfamiliar

The protagonist, Scottie, is a policeman who took a break/was discharged/retired because he couldn't save a fellow police officer from falling off a building to his death

Because of this he suffers from vertigo and/or fear of heights

He's hired by his old friend Gavin to follow Gavin's wife, Madeline, for fear that she's been possessed by someone called Carlotta Valdez

He does so, and slowly falls in love with Madeline - and her him

We also learn that Scottie's best friend Midge is in love with him, but he's too obsessed with Madeline to notice Midge

Him and Madeline go to a church bell tower where Madeline seemingly offs herself by jumping off

Some time later, Scottie goes to Madeline's old hotel room, and finds a woman called Judy who looks exactly like Madeline

She agrees to go on a date with him

We, the audience, find out that Judy actually is Madeline (and vise versa). She was hired by Gavin to pretend to be Madeline.

Scottie grows more and more obsessed, forcing Judy to change her appearance to look like Madeline

He makes the connection that Madeline and Judy are the same person, and drives her to the bell tower

He forces her up the tower, over coming his fear of heights

Once at the top, they have a confrontation

A nun appears, scaring Judy and she once more falls to her death (really this time)

So, from what I've gathered, the loose connection between characters is:

Scottie = Eddie

Madeline = Shannon

Midge = Buck

Judy = Kim

The Nun = Marisol

Scottie's unable to save his fellow police officer. Eddie was unable to 'save' the people he pulled out the helicopter: "I pulled them out. But I didn't save them." Because of this he suffers from immense guilt and PTSD (as seen in his season 5 arc). He's unable to move on and this hinders him to a certain extent - just like Scottie.

After Shannon's death, he's thrown through the loop again, with the added bonus of him not having been able to save her too. Scottie's job was to save Madeline, and he failed at that, resulting in her 'death'.

Eddie is constantly trying to find a woman to fill that role of Shannon in his and Christopher's life; we see this with both Ana and now Marisol. He's looking for her in them. Scottie does the same - he visits the places he went with Madeline, he goes to her old room.

Eddie finds Kim, Scottie finds Judy.

For a little while, Judy helps Scottie get over and get closure on Madeline. She fills that empty space and allows him to move on. This is what I think Kim is going to do for Eddie.

She looks so much like Shannon but she simply isn't her. We know in later episodes that Buck is going to meet her and proclaim that she's "nothing like Shannon." There's a clear distinction there - Eddie is only seeing Shannon in her because he wants to, because he's still holding onto that idea. I think Kim is going to be the closing point of this ongoing search for Shannon's 'replacement'; someone who looks exactly like Shannon should be perfect, right? But when she too doesn't 'fill' that role that surely must spark some sort of realisation in Eddie, because if not her then who.

For Scottie, he feels betrayed by Judy. He brings her to the last place he saw Madeline, and ultimately, indirectly, causes her death. Obviously I don't believe Kim is actually going to die, but more the idea of her. She's the final chapter of him pursuing Shannon's ghost.

Midge is Scottie's best friend. They met in college and were engaged for a few weeks before breaking up. They spend a lot of time together, staying at each other's houses and going out. She helps Scottie through his vertigo and acrophobia, and tries to 'bring him back' in his grief. At one point, Midge paints her face onto a painting of Carlotta Valdez, showing that she's there and ready for Scottie's love, if he's willing to give it to her.

I believe, in this scenario, Buck takes on her role (for seemingly obvious reasons). Him and Eddie are best friends, they do so much together, he helps Eddie when he's struggling etc etc. Midge is the idea of the 'other woman', someone who is right in front of Scottie's eyes, someone whose always been there for him. However, Scottie is too obsessed and fixated on Madeline that he can't see this and continually brushes it away. You see where I'm going here...

Although Buck potentially doesn't even realize it himself, he has taken on Shannon's role in the Diaz family for years. Eddie already has the 'replacement' for Shannon that he's so desperately been searching for right in front of his eyes.

In Vertigo, Judy and Madeline are the same person, whereas Shannon and Kim are obviously not. However, the comparison still stands.

Scottie meets Judy and immedietely latches onto her because she looks so much like Madeline (duh) and he is so desperate for anything that'll keep Madeline's memory with him. He makes her undergo a series of phsyical changes (dyeing her hair, changing her wardrobe, her style etc etc) so that she appears more like Madeline - so he can get that closure and pretend.

Eddie clearly isn't going to do this to Kim. However, whatever way you spin it, he is projecting Shannon onto her. He saw her, and thought of Shannon, he pursued her because of that, he's doing all this because of Shannon. He is chasing that closure and that moment were he can be like 'Ah. I've finally found someone who can be Shannon for me and Chris.'

I doubt Kim is going to be around particularly long. As much as it sounds diminishing, she really is just a tool for Eddie to have this realization that nobody can replace Shannon, and that that's okay. He doesn't need to find Shannon 2.0.

Now, in Vertigo, when Scottie and Judy are arguing on the bell tower, a nun appears from the shadows and startles them - causing Judy to fall to her death. It's a very abrupt and out of nowhere.

The character of the nun, I think could represent either one of two things. Marisol, as we know, used to be a nun (i'm still not over this btw). That's a pretty straight-forward, clear cut comparison. The nun causes Judy to die, Marisol causes 'Shannon', and the idea of Shannon, to 'die'. This interpretation leans more heavily on Marisol and Eddie staying together, however, so I'm not sure.

The nun could also just represent religion as a whole, and Eddie's Catholic guilt particularly. Eddie tells Bobby that he only really married Shannon because he felt like he had to, he felt pressured into it because of his religious guilt. Despite this, "There was still a part of me that loved being married to her."

There's no doubt in my mind that Eddie loved Shannon. He did, they loved each other, and he still does love her - he always will. I do think that the choice of focussing on his marriage to her and how he "loved being married to her" is interesting though, he doesn't try to clarify that he was in love with her. This could just be because it's a given orrr

Whatever, not really the point.

The point is, the fact he's now "awakened" his Catholic guilt by finding out Marisol was a nun, must mean something for his upcoming arc. In Vertigo, the nun kills Judy. Here, his religious guilt 'kills' the idea of Shannon??

I'll definitely have more ideas about this later but this was my word vomit for now! Let me know what you think please.

(Also something I find funny is that the actress of Madeline/Judy is called Kim!)

[bekolxeram]

I'm usually very block happy, but sometimes a couple of hot takes from the opposite side of the fandom manage to slip through. I'm no saint, I admit I do get quite worked up at first, but after some time, I realize they give me new perspectives to scenes I've watched countless times and discover things I didn't pick up before. So this one is for all of you, staunch Tommy haters, thank you for enriching my viewing experience.

In 7x04, when Tommy goes to Buck's loft to talk things out, this line gives some people the ick, because it echoes what Taylor said in 5x05. In that episode, Buck thought his team was off because they blamed him for Chimney leaving. He talked to Taylor about it, she shared her own experience with her boss being sulky around her, and it turned out her boss was just in a lot of physical pain, she ended the conversation with "maybe not everything is about you". While what she said was absolutely right, and she made an effort to make Buck feel appreciated at the end of the episode, but I can also see Buck not feeling supported emotionally at the time the conversation occurred. In a fashion true to her profession, Taylor delivered it in a very blunt, direct and advisory way. Her being right did not cancel out Buck feeling insecure about everyone acting weird around him and him not knowing why.

What Tommy says here though, is in a a completely different context.

Before all of this, Tommy has already reassured Buck that he's not trying to replace him, that his place in Eddie and Christopher's life is irreplaceable.

Look at Buck's smile, he's apparently in a better mood than before. It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

So going in this next part, Buck is more receptive to what he frankly needs to hear: Eddie isn't hanging out with Tommy because Buck did something wrong, he just enjoys Tommy's company.

We've witnessed Buck's growth over 7 seasons, now he can recognize that getting jealous easily is one of his character flaws, he tends to overthink and make other's action personal when he's feeling insecure in a relationship. He's telling Tommy this probably to signal that he understands he messed up and he understands what he did wrong. He never expected Tommy to validate his feelings.

But Tommy does empathize with his predicament.

Buck doesn't understand what Tommy, the cool, confident (and hot) pilot would be jealous over. And he almost can't believe Tommy gets what he's been feeling.

Tommy tells Buck that he's envious of the ride-or-die familial bonds within the 118 nowadays, as if he didn't also put his career and life in danger just to save Athena and Bobby (probably Hen's career as well), after one phone call from Chimney.

Now it's Buck's turn to reassure Tommy.

Another hot take I've seen from the other side goes like "if Tommy was nicer to Hen and Chimney back in the days, he wouldn't have to be jealous over what the 118 has now". You know what? Judging by Tommy's face here, he probably would agree. This is not the face of a man who is proud of what he did. This is the face of a man who is burdened by guilt and regret, this is a man haunted by his past, this is a man who doesn't think he deserves the praise.

Buck even cites fake mouth static as an example of Tommy's effort in aiding the 118's clandestine rescue mission, and they naturally fall into a flirty dynamic. I have no explanation for that, except, your honor, this is exhibit A against the "no chemistry" allegation.

Buck then spells it all out for Tommy that he also put everything on the line just for the 118, without hesitation. Tommy looks like he still has a hard time accepting it as an act worthy of redemption for his past behavior.

We've all made mistakes, and we all know we can't go back to the past and change what we did, so the best way forward is to change ourselves and be better. Judging by Tommy's "and [Gerrard] didn't make me a better person" line in 7x10, he quite possibly reflected on this a lot. Yet, sometimes you still can't help but doubt yourself over if you've learned enough from your past, if you're a good enough person now. I can't imagine how good it feels hearing Buck say out loud that he actually likes the person Tommy is now.

Apparently Buck likes Tommy so much that he came up with excuses just to hang out with him and get to know him.

Tommy is pleasantly surprised, because he did tell Buck to call him when he wants to go up. In fact, Buck can call him for whatever reason, Tommy accepted the Harbor tour request, there's nothing indicating that he would feel weird just hanging out with Buck. Tommy just doesn't know how much of a overthinker and bi disaster Buck truly is yet, but that's the story for another time.

Buck and Tommy really don't know much, if anything, about each other at this stage, as you can see in 7x05, but they're already validating each other's feelings. We've seen Buck get his feelings ignored, hurt, dismissed and kind of fetishized for 6 seasons, now this is something he's been looking for the whole time, for someone to understand what he's going through. At the same time, this interaction must also be quite freeing for Tommy, who's been haunted by demons from his own past.

[helenofblackthorns]

like that's the beginning of the end. it's the big grand finale, and in many ways the second half of the dark artifices. the last king of faerie might be fun, and light-hearted, the darkness to come only curling at the edges but it'll be there!! like there's no coming back from it, everytime Cassandra Clare talks about the wicked powers she says that it will change the shadow world to its core and honestly??? I don't want to know. because right now everyone's alive and I can imagine happier circumstances for those who need them and nothing can challenge that illusion until that book comes out

everyone and their mother wants the last king of faerie to come out tomorrow. not me. I hope I never see that book 🫶

[userautumn]

Hey! :) I just saw your new FAQ. What aspects of bucktommy do you enjoy? :)

Hello! I'm going to assume this question is asked in good faith, mainly because I wanna talk about them !! 😗✌🏾

I like that Buck heard Tommy make fake mouth static at the fire chief and immediately wanted to be barefoot and pregnant by this man. Peak comedy. Man is so cringefail loser that he made Buck discover a whole new sexuality. Who will love me like this, says the bisexual who is already aware she is bisexual. Okay moving on

Tommy's little head tilt on the basketball court. Not specifically a BuckTommy thing but something I am wildly into nonetheless.

I like that Tommy came over to talk to Buck about what went down with Eddie. Once you get past the "how the fuck did he even know where he lives?" of it all, because details don't matter when you have a 40 minute network TV slot, I just really like that Tommy didn't just recognize there was a problem, or didn't just recognize his own role in the problem between Buck and Eddie. He actually took time and initiative to try and fix it. He didn't have to do that. He could have looked at Buck and said, "Wow this grown man has issues. He needs to work on that" and just carried on with what he was doing. He would have been well within his right to do that, actually. But he went over to Buck's with the intention of clearing the air and that was very kind and mature of him.

I like that Tommy is very separately friends with Eddie, which isn't a BuckTommy thing exactly. But I remember years ago, when we (fandom) would talk about Buck and Eddie's current partners at the time (Ana and Taylor), we would always say, "whoever they end up with needs to be okay with Buck and Eddie's weirdness for each other, otherwise it's not gonna work." And, like, as far as we've seen so far, Tommy is okay with it. When he went over to Buck's, he mentioned Christopher specifically, mentioned (in so many words) that he's not trying to disrupt their family unit, and that's all I could really ask for out a non-Eddie/non-Buck partner. That checks all my boxes, if we're honest because that family unit is, quite literally, everything to me.

Tommy wants to teach Buck. He wants to give him flying lessons and teach him Muay Thai. Sorry I love a man who gives patient, and occasionally horny, instruction. As if that's my fault.

Tommy's fingers on Buck's chin when he kisses him. Swooning just thinking about it. 🙂‍↕️

I like that Tommy left Buck on the curb. Now, I know this was VERY controversial for some people. But, like, Buck is not a five year old. He didn't die, and his actions had a consequence. Everyone was like "he should have told him he was leaving him!" But. Okay. When did he have time? They got the check -> Eddie showed up -> Eddie left -> Buck and Tommy got up to leave -> Tommy said he was leaving. By MY approximation, that is the only quiet moment they had for him to say that he was making his exit. But! I could be wrong! Either way! 💕 I like that he wasn't mean about it. He knows his worth enough to not put up with bullshit, unlike Taylor, for example, who stayed with Buck even after he kissed someone else and I think someone who knows their worth and who's going to clock him on his shit is something Buck is going to appreciate in a partner.

I like that Tommy showed up to the coffee date. I like that Buck asked him to show up to the coffee date. I love that being with Tommy inspires Buck to take action in his own relationships instead of just settling. 9-1-1 really clocked his (and Maddie's) tea when they called them "the fugitive and the settler." Buck settles into these relationships, without really considering whether or not it's what he wants, because he's scared of being alone. That's always been his problem. But he wants Tommy, wants him to the point of taking action in order to have him, and that's 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 That's the money shot, baby !!

I really, really, really like that Tommy promised Buck he'd be there for the wedding and then tried everything in his power to show up. And did show up. It's my favorite BuckTommy thing. Buck needs someone outside of his codependent family clusterfuck (affectionate) to show up for him, and no one before Tommy ever has. Abby relied on him emotionally so heavily, Ali was more of his emotional equal but was unable to handle his job. Taylor was... Taylor, and Natalia was mostly interested in his death. So Buck hasn't really had a partner who has actively prioritized him before and so far, Tommy seems to. I really like that.

"EvAn," said in all Tommy's many, gently exasperated and/or deeply adoring tones

My second favorite BuckTommy thing is how earnest and attentive Tommy is to Buck's emotional needs. Which circles back to the first bullet point I made, because it's such a consistent theme with them. But when Bobby was hurt, Buck was ready and willing to brush off how he was feeling about that experience. This makes sense because, looking at his other partners, Buck has very rarely had the emotional space to lay his burdens at their feet. But Tommy clocked his angst and hit him first with that look, that said he was reading him, assessing him, and then hit him again with the "you okay?" and allowed Buck to say as much or as little as he wanted. I really like that, that's beautiful to me.

Canon Daddy kink. Sorry, it has to be said. Of all the ships I've had where I've looked at one guy (gn), and looked at the other guy (gn), and been like "oh yeah, y'all definitely get into some freak shit," never in my LIFE has it been made canon. The sun is shining, the world is a beautiful place, etc etc

So yeah, those are a few of my favorite BuckTommy things! They're fun, they're my new favorite toy, and I love them. Hope this helps!

[minhosimthings]

Girl Dad!Skz headcannons

Pairings: husband!Skz × wife!fem!reader

Warnings: fluff fluff fluff, mentions of pregnancy, reader wears a dress, mentions of food, teensy swearing

A/N: GUESS WHO HAS BABY FEVER AYY ITS THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE. I am so DONE with watching my fav idols play with babies and not expect me to die. WHERE IS MY CHAN WHO'LL GIVE MR A BABY HUH? anyways enjoy my very drunken headcannons

Bang Christopher Chan

DID I JUST HEAR BEST DAD IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

This man was born to be a dad istg

He'd be so amazing when you're pregnant, like he'd ask his mom for advice, give you belly rubs if your ask and will willingly lend his entire closet to you.

Would be so supportive through the birth process, is not disgusted or anything because he is him.

"She looks just like you."

Would be just a teensy bit overprotective, just a teensy bit.

"And you will bring her back by 7 yes? Oh and what's your address for unrelated purposes?"

*sends the address to Minho incase he needs to murder anyone*

Would be so comforting when she gets her period

"you know I used to do this to your mother.", While massaging her back.

The baby would grow up multilingual and Chan would be so smug about it

"my daughter is my second producer

Lee Minho/Lee Know

Would have such mixed emotions when you tell him you're pregnant

On the one hand A PERSON MADE UP OF BOTH OF YOU? WOAH

On the other hand OH SHIT A PERSON WHO HAS BOTH OUR GENES

Cooks all your weird ass cravings for you but not before giving you a side eye

"Alright y'all are gonna get a sibling." *Is talking to the cats*

Buys everything cat themed

"baby what if the baby is a dog person?"

Y'all have twins, a boy and a girl (manifesting my twin dad Minho fantasies)

Would dance for them when they're babies and would get elated when they try to copy him

Pouts when their first word is mama

Brags so much about them

"I mean they are MY spawn, obviously they're better at dance than your kid, Susan"

Seo Changbin

GIRL DAD GIRL DAD GIRL DAD

So elated when you tell him you're pregnant

PREGNANT CUDDLES KZKSNSNJ

Would be a 100% on board with lifting your belly to save your back

When you find out it's a girl, he straight on sobs.

"I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER PAIR OF ADORABLE YN EYES LOOKING AT ME"

Holds the baby extra carefully in his buff ass arms

She looks like you part 2

Tea parties with her are serious buisness for him

"jagi can't you see im currently discussing with the princess about her magical dragon I'll do the dishes later."

Would probably ask her if she wants to go to the gym with her dad and when she says yes he'd be so happy

"you're better than your mother she can't even lift her ass up and go to the gym"

Hwang Hyunjin

When I say this man would paint you a portrait when you tell him you're pregnant-

HE'LL PAINT YOU A FUCKING PORTRAIT

So sweet with you all throughout but also a nervous wreck

Much like me

Would love to paint your belly if you allow him to

Would try your weird cravings with you

And actually like them

Let's not pretend like Hyun doesn't do the pregnant woman pose everyday

Cries so hard when your baby is born

He doesn't mind the gender or anything, but when he found out it's a girl-

"GUYS ITS A MINI Y/N"

She looks like you part 3

Such a clumsy mess when it comes to taking care of her

ART CLASSES ART CLASSES ART CLASSES

"Darling, we painted this for you."

Han Jisung

Immediately freezes when you tell him

Jisung.exe has stopped working

"wait so the protection didn't.... Protect?"

Now Y/N.exe has stopped working trying to figure out whether you actually used protection or not

Talks to your belly all day

Treats the baby like a gossip partner

"girl you won't believe what Hyunjin did today."

"what did he do?"

"yn shush I'm talking to our baby girl."

Is your personal high school cheerleader during the birth

"jagi you are slaying right now you can do this."

Cries when baby is born part 3

Calls her a co-producer part 2

Spoils her shitless

She has him wrapped around her finger, much like her mother :)

Making playlists with her is his love language

Lee Felix Yongbok

Did I just hear breeding kink

Cries when you tell him

Bakes so many brownies when you tell him like one time that you're craving his brownies

Makes your weird cravings part 3

Idk what it is with me and DanceRacha making all your weird cravings

Runs you baths, with bath salts, bath bombs, scented candles and massages your aching muscles I WILL DIE RIGHT NOW

Is the best during the birth, holds your hand allowing you to squeeze it as hard as you want

Dresses baby up like the fashionista she is

Is so amazed and ecstatic when the baby gets an Aussie accent

"JAGI SHE JUST SAID BREKKIE"

Kim Seungmin

Tsundere daddy meow

Will literally melt like his face will be like 🥺

Buys all the cute stuff on day one

I'm talking cradles, blinkies, toys, bonnets for some reason

"of course she needs a ponyo outfit darling come on"

Tones down his teasing a bit

Still makes fun of your penguin walk tho

And if you cry, he will comfort you and never forgive himself for it

Is kinda disgusted by the birth process but he's a strong soldier

Cries when baby is born part 4

Like Kim Seungmin crying is a real thing chat

Singing lessons are free for her, and she has her dad's angel voice!!

Also inherits her dad's roasting style, and she's the only one who can roast him back hehe

He kinda died inside when she told him he was old (he's never been prouder)

Yang Jeongin/ I.N

Bruh this guy istg

Mixed emotions part 2

"IM TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A CHILD"

Calms down eventually (after a slap on the head)

BELLY RUBS

Spoils the shit out of you because obviously

Asks his mum for advice part 2

Sings to your belly at night when he thinks you're asleep

Secretly hopes baby will have his dimple

He loves kids, so parenting is a natural thing that comes to him

Probably more experienced at holding a baby than you are

Feeds her for the first few days when you're tired

Perfect husband honestly he should marry me

Loves braiding her hair and giving her fashion advice

Mini fashion shows!!!

Dances with her a lot

[newobsessionweekly]

Family Ties

Main masterlist | 9-1-1 Masterlist

Eddie Diaz x firefighter!reader Fandom: 911

Summary: You and Eddie have been dating for a few months now, but your older brother, Buck, don’t know until you get hurt on a call and he puts all the pieces together.

Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Mentions of fire, injuries.

Requested: No

Words: 1.9k Requests are open for Eddie / Buck! Gif not mine, credits to the owner.

Standing in front of the firehouse, you adjust your helmet and gear and feel the adrenaline rush that comes with being a firefighter. You were proud to become a paramedic at Station 118 in LA, following in your older brother Buck's footsteps. You have always admired Buck's courage and strength in leaving home, building a career, and saving lives. This job is perfect for him since he saved your life back then. You own everything you are in that moment to Buck.

You greeted everyone at the firehouse, eager for a new day. Hen and Chim checked supplies, Bobby inspected trucks, and Buck ate his breakfast undisturbed. Everyone turned theirs heads and smiled, wishing you a “Good Morning” in response.

“I hope you choke on that food. I'll let your lazy ass die anytime.” you greet your brother, still angry about him ditching you up last night and not giving you a ride in the morning.

“Love you too, munchkin!" Buck yelled with a full mouth of milk and cereals.

“Stop calling me that, I'm not five anymore!” you said firmly, pouring yourself a cup of coffee. Eddie laughed, making his way up on the stairs. “Morning to you too!” you greeted him. “Something funny?”

You brightened Station 118 for all to see. Upon entering, the room radiates warmth and light wavily pours down on everyone. You are that magnet of happiness that could cheer up any bad day. Who wouldn't love you?

You watch Eddie enter the kitchen, patting Buck's shoulder on his way to the fridge. He winked and handed you the milk, a sudden burst of warmth covering your cheeks.

Eddie is both Buck's best friend and your secret boyfriend. Well, not that secret, everyone knows except Buck. And everyone is hiding you both until you're ready to tell you big brother.

You and Eddie bonded immediately upon joining Unit 118. All the laugher and deep conversations held in Buck's living room, slowly turned into small electric touches and stolen kisses.

Eddie made excuses for Buck to babysit Christopher while he took you on little dates, most of them between the walls of his home. But you didn't care as long as you were together.

Eddie is the most amazing man you've ever met. Strong, brave, and incredibly smart. All the stories about the war and you still can't believe the man in front of you was some years ago on the open field. He's handsome, all worked up and as cheerful as you every single day. Though, the signs of the war are painted on his skin, he exudes a mature aura that masks his traumas. He's also a perfect father.

Some girls dream of men like this, even fantasies about them being a father, but all you gotta do is open your eyes and admire the view. And it's only yours.

"You're right, Y/n. You're not five. You both are five and acting like idiots.” Eddie poured himself a cup of coffee while Buck's gaze was pointed at you. His face twisted comically in confusion. How did Eddie know you need milk for your coffee without you asking for it?

Eddie is more than thankful to have beside him a woman just as perfect as an angel. You spread love, exhibits passion, demonstrates bravery in saving people, and look stunning while doing so.

However, you still hesitate to reveal your relationship with Eddie, knowing that it could complicate things with your overprotective brother.

As soon as the alarm went off calling a car crash with multiple injuries, you placed your cup on the table and run off to the truck with Eddie by your side while Buck analysing your every move and how the distance between you and Eddie closes day by day. He smells something's going on.

Throughout the day, you and Eddie teamed up seamless and efficient together. Buck, on the other hand, noticed your chemistry and couldn't help but feel a little suspicious. He first lost his partner, but could also lose his best friend and sister ? Buck brushed it off as he hurriedly approached the cars holding captive civilians, ignoring any doubts.

The quiet afternoon allowed your for reflection while washing off the blood under the hot water pouring over your bloody-covered body, then silently enjoyed Bobby's delicious lunch.

“Uh-huh, Buckley siblings aren't talking." "Something's off," Bobby quipped, eyeing the people standing around the table.

Chuckling, you searched for Eddie's sight before the alarm blared once more.

Unit 118 was dispatched to a high-rise building fire. You raced to the scene, adrenaline pumping. The team surrounded Bobby, listening to his command. “Buck, you're coming with me to the back, we need to secure an exit and search for survivors. Eddie, Y/n, Chim and Hen, search the first two floors, pull out the fire, and search for survivors, ten at number.” everyone nodded as he explained to never split up, but if needed, you stay close to a wall and never let go of the hose. “Be safe out there!” Buck nodded to you and Eddie, silently urging caution and a safe return.

As you entered the building, Eddie's firefighter instincts kicked in, and he took charge of the situation. He led the team through the thick smoke and intense heat, searching for survivors and extinguishing the flames.

But as you were making your way out of the building, a sudden explosion rocked the structure, causing debris to collapse around you. You shielded Eddie out of the way just in time, but you were struck by falling debris. Your trapped leg caused a painful mix of blood and agony.

Eddie rushed to your side, his heart pounding with fear. He checked for other injuries with shaky hands.

"Calling for help, ok? Hen and Chim will be back, and you'll be okay!” Eddie comforted, cupping your cheeks, forcing you look at him. You were conscious and likely only suffered a sprained ankle while the blood that flood around was coming from a cut above your knee.

“I'm fine, just a sprained ankle. We should go search for survivors," you suggested, gazing at the ashes of the once-mischievous flames that nearly engulfed the entire building.

Eddie looked at you in disbelief. You and Buck were remarkably alike. Or maybe the gene of recklessness run deep in both you DNA's. He's worried about the leg, despite your pleading to go search for the people stuck in that building, you can't move fast enough. It will only slow down the operation and cause any other damage.

“Here the captain, the building is clear.” Bobby radioed. You breathe easily now, the survivors were out of any harm. “Find your way back safely, the fire spreading quickly to the roof."

“Come on, we have to go.” Eddie said, pushing aside with all his strength the debris that was pinning you down. "Copy that, cap!" Eddie spoke into his radio.

“Y/n, do you copy?" Buck's voice crackled through Eddie's radio. Yours was broken in the fall. Buck searched the perimeter with worry in his eyes.

“Don't tell Buck, please.” you pleaded, afraid your brother wouldn't keep his feet at place, rushing recklessly into the burning building to save you. Eddie nodded, thinking of what he could tell his best friend.

"Y/n's radio broke, but she's en route to the hospital doing CPR.” Eddie fibbed. Bobby nodded at the words and told everyone to go back to the station as Unit 146 could handle the fire themselves. They got every other unit off duty. “Bobby, take Buck and Chim with you. I'm coming right back, Hen can give me a ride. We'll go after Y/n at the hospital.”

“Copy that. On our way now!” Bobby and Buck left, cap confident that the remaining men could handle as the fire was slowly being extinguished.

Buck obeyed Bobby's orders for your sake, though he didn’t really bite that.

As Eddie carried you out of the building with you laying on him, slowly walking to the paramedic truck, you saw Hen's eyes widening. “You said she was on her way to the hospital!" she scolded Eddie, shaking her head in a disapproving gesture. “You hurt?” she checked for injuries on your body.

“Just small bruises and a scars, a spread ankle. "Nothing serious," you report.

Eddie hugged you tight, now clear-minded. He was relieved you both returned from that building in one piece. He admired your courage and dedication. Your kindness towards the injured made him fall in love with you all over again seeing you giving all the injured people a soft smile and help they needed, without a single doubt. You hugged him back, seeking comfort in his arms, preparing your patience for when will Buck find out.

“Ok, Eddie ride with her in the back. We going to the hospital.”

Back at the firehouse, Buck was anxiously waiting for news on the fire. He waited at the station for an hour, pacing through the kitchen, eager for you to get back. His thoughts buzzed with all the worst-case scenarios. Buck rushed towards you as soon as he saw the truck reversing into the station. His eyes turned red when Eddie helped you hop up from the back of the paramedic truck, your leg all bandaged and bruises painted all over you, from your beautiful face to the arms. Slowly limping to him, Buck rushed over to you, his concern evident.

"What the hell happened?" Buck asked, his voice filled with worry.

Y/n got hit by falling debris, but she insisted on continuing to help with evacuation," Eddie explained, casting a proud glance at you. “She's fine now, just a few scratches, but she managed to clear the building.

“Screw about that building. "Why did you do that?" Buck looked at his sister, his protective instincts kicking in. "Why didn't you tell me you got hurt?" he scolded you gently.

"I didn't want to worry you," you replied, giving your brother a weak smile. "I guess you passed to me the recklessness gene," you laughed, trying to ease the tension. “I'm fine, Buck, really."

But Buck's attention shifted to Eddie, and he noticed the concerned look in the firefighter's eyes as he tended to your injury. Buck's suspicions were confirmed as he realized the truth.

"You two are dating, aren't you?" Buck asked, surprised and a little taken aback.

You and Eddie exchanged nervous glances before nodding. Buck's initial surprise turned into a mix of emotions - surprise, worry, protectiveness - but also saw the love and happiness in you both.

"I care about her, Buck," Eddie begins earnestly, looking Buck straight in the eye. "I promise to take care of her." Eddie locked his hand in yours, both of them helping you up the stairs and have a seat on the couch.

Buck couldn't deny the sincerity in Eddie's words, and he knew that you are a capable firefighter who could take care of herself. Reluctantly, he nodded and pulled you both into a tight hug. Buck knows Eddie's a great guy, he also knows about the baggage you're both dealing with, hope you'll both manage to heal each other.

"Just be careful with her," Buck said, his voice filled with emotion. "She's my little sister, and I know how a pain in the ass she could be.” he joked, passing you a glass of water.

Well, maybe all the bad did something good after all.

[hussyknee]

(alt included in all images)

Another thread by Senator Ben Ray Luján here.

A book on the subject (haven't read it myself):

One of the sources in another one of Alisa's furiously impassioned twitter threads have been debunked, so I didn't include that. But she claims that her own family was caught in the fallout zone when her mother was a baby, which eventually led to her and large numbers of her community developing cancer. It's human for that kind of grief to be caught up in inaccuracies. People are already being ghastly and racist to Hispanos and Indigenous people criticizing the hype for the movie. They're not attacking Oppenheimer for being Jewish, they're criticising the erasure of the human cost of these bombs and the continued valorisation of the U.S military's actions in World War II as some kind of moral saviourism.

While Oppenheimer himself believed that the nuclear bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were morally justified (they had planned to drop them on Germany except they surrendered before they could), he also felt had blood on his hands and regretted his role as the "Father of the Atomic Bomb". He spent the rest of his career vehemently opposing further development of thermonuclear weapons and the hydrogen bomb accurately predicting the concept of mutually assured destruction. This eventually made him a victim of Senator McCarthy's Red Scare and his clearance was revoked. I haven't seen the movie (Christopher Nolan is the kind of casual white racist I avoid on principle) but people who have seen it say that it doesn't glorify nuclear weapons and depicts the man himself with the complex moral nuance that seems to be accurately reflective of his real life.

The backlash to Indigenous and Hispanos people's criticisms and to people pointing out that Hiroshima and Nagasaki were genocides is also frustrating because...both world wars were a clash of genocidal empires. The reason they were world wars is because the countries colonized by Japan, China, the European powers and the US were all dragged into it, whether they wanted to or not. Jews were one of the many colonized peoples that suffered in that time, who were left to die by everyone until they could be used to frame the Allied powers as moral saviours, establishing a revisionist nostalgia for heroism that powers the US military industrial complex to this day.

As early as May 1942, and again in June, the BBC reported the mass murder of Polish Jews by the Nazis. Although both US President, Franklin Roosevelt, and British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, warned the Germans that they would be held to account after the war, privately they agreed to prioritise and to turn their attention and efforts to winning the war. Therefore, all pleas to the Allies to destroy the death camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau were ignored. The Allies argued that not only would such an operation shift the focus away from winning the war, but it could provoke even worse treatment of the Jews. In June 1944 the Americans had aerial photographs of the Auschwitz complex. The Allies bombed a nearby factory in August, but the gas chambers, crematoria and train tracks used to transport Jewish civilians to their deaths were not targeted.

(Source)

Uncritical consumption of World War II media is the reinforcement of imperialist propaganda, more so when one group of colonized people is used to silence other colonized peoples. Pitting white Jewry against BIPOC is to do the work of white supremacy for imperialist colonizers, and victimizes Jews of colour twice over.

Edit: friends, there's been some doubt cast on the veracity of Alisa's claims. The human cost to the Hispanos population caught downwind of the nuclear tests is very real, as was land seizure without adequate compensation. However, there's no record I can yet find about Los Alamos killing livestock and Hispanos being forced to work for Los Alamos without PPE. There is a separate issue about human testing in the development of said PPE that's not covered here. I'm turning off reblogs until I can find out more. Meanwhile, here's another more legitimate article you can boost instead:

[lover-of-mine]

I'm here to argue my case about how Eddie fell first and has in fact been semi-aware of his feelings since season 3 and it's currently dealing with the way he thinks he'll have to be the best man on Buck's wedding. So sit down, buckle up, grab your delusional drink of choice (today I'm drinking my delusional tea lol), and let's go.

Okay, given season 6 information, we know Buck and Eddie are roughly the same age and we know Eddie was pursued by Bobby and Bobby wanted a partner for Buck (unrelated but Bobby so hoped the military guy would balance out Buck and for a while there he ended up with two very impulsive firefighters and he definitely had a few what the hell have I done moments lol) so it's kinda safe to assume that Buck was one of the selling points of the 118 because Buck is a very competent firefighter and they would be on the same shift. So Eddie went in with the expectation of someone his age he could befriend. I'm making some assumptions but the internet tells me the academy takes a year, we know Eddie still doesn't have a permanent childcare plan, so this man is interacting outside of the academy exclusively with his 7 yo, his abuela, and tia for a year, so I think that the idea of having a friend his own age was appealing to him. Especially after the army and Shannon leaving him. So much so that with his sharp edges, you can actually read things like "I'd go lower" or "you're in the wrong light, man" as attempts to create a bond, very awkward I haven't tried to make friends in forever attempts but attempts nonetheless because he's trying to be helpful. Buck is being Buck, but even Eddie says I hear you're a good guy, so dude is trying to understand what's happening, what's setting Buck off, and while he matches Buck's energy after the gym conversation, he actually continues to try and bond with Buck with the thing that actually works and the "you're badass under pressure" that is still another attempt to get through to Buck. I have various theories about the way Eddie keeps trying to start something, the one I like the most and the most painful one is about how Eddie has had the weight of the world on his shoulders forever. And he had to grow up really fast, and then there is Buck annoying him about nicknames and discussing his body fat percentage, and with all that really carefree energy season 1 and beginning of season 2 Buck had that he probably wanted to know what it felt like. But Buck is Buck and Buck also wanted a friend so dude imprinted on Eddie like a baby duck. But Eddie doesn't mind, like before Bobby comes in to say who got the spot on the calendar, Eddie looks amused by Buck not annoyed. But up until now, that's casual. They're coworkers.

Then we have the earthquake. We know Christopher is Eddie's whole world and he's very careful about the people he lets into their life, considering the earthquake happened on Maddie's first day on the floor and she must've had some sort of training before that, it's safe to assume that Eddie didn't mention Chris at the firehouse for at least a few weeks and he is very hesitant to tell Buck about him, but again Buck is Buck and he switches into reassurance mode and that's when Eddie actually lets him in. I actually would love it if we had an explanation as to why Buck drove Eddie to Chris' school after the shift, but it's something that he went from being hesitant to even mention he existed to introducing Buck to him. But then we have the moment Buck becomes his ride-or-die, you imprinted on me but now I'm hanging on to you, with the whole going to the hospital with him because of abuela and also the way that Buck clears Chris staying at the firehouse before Eddie thinks to do it.

This moment right here it's what gets Eddie. He's ready to apologize and justify and he doesn't have to because Buck stepped up to do something simply because he realized Eddie needed help and he could do something about it. Eddie is doing everything alone and he needs help but he doesn't know how or who to ask for it and Buck just steps in and does it before he needs to ask. And then there's Carla. Buck tricks him into showing up and literally hands him the solution to his problems because Buck knows Eddie wouldn't accept it if Buck had said what that was about beforehand, but at no point does Buck make it seem like Eddie is a bad parent for needing help. And I think with the whole thing with his parents trying to take Chris from him, that really does something.

I really like to use the second gif here as a major example of Eddie's heart eyes for Buck, but the first one, when he realizes who Carla is and what she can give him completely changes his demeanor. He was ready to be polite, was probably trying to figure out a way out without saying he was still married, but instead, Buck does something that not only makes Eddie's life easier but makes Christopher's exponentially better. And right then, Eddie is done for. I'm not saying he fell in love with Buck here, I'm just saying right here is when Eddie goes you're stuck with me now dude, and let his guard down with Buck, as much as this Eddie can at least. That's when something starts for him. You can't change my mind on this one. But for now, there's the Shannon of it all, because Eddie does love Shannon but their relationship is beyond complicated. 

But Buck is still constant through Shannon and I think that's important, actually, because Eddie is having trouble trusting Shannon and I feel like having Buck around helps him not go straight to the worst-case scenario all the time. I don't have a point in mentioning this, it's just a clear show of how much Eddie already trusts Buck, but to have Buck go with him to take Chris to see Santa is so wild. Who takes their best friend to see Santa with their kid? Like, what?? But Isn't it interesting that Eddie decides to propose again after Buck asks when is the wedding? I find that fascinating really. Then Shannon dies, Buck almost dies, dude goes into move past it mode but the seed is there. Forever thinking about the wistful shot of Eddie saying almost after Hen says things are back to the way they should be. Something else about the finale it's that it's the first in the list of irrationality moments from Eddie regarding Buck. Eddie is a firefighter, he's objectively stronger than Chimney, so the logical thing to be done is to have Eddie helping lift the truck and Chim treating Buck. But no, at that moment he's a medic who's there to hold Buck's hand. He's just holding Buck's hand. He could've left Buck with Hen and go help lift the truck. But no, he's staying by Buck's side.

But season 3 is when things HAPPEN. We start out strong with the sheer excitement on Eddie's face that Buck is going back to work. Then the way Eddie just hands Christopher over to Buck without a single worry. "Oh, you're falling apart? Here's a kid, he will help" and just goes. We focus a lot on Buck's reaction to them finding Chris because it is what the show wants us to focus, this is the moment Buck looks at Chris and goes "shit I really love that kid" but Eddie looking back at Buck as he holds Chris is interesting. Eddie just went through 30 seconds (actually it's 1 minute 4 seconds from the moment Eddie notices Buck to Eddie having Chris in his arms not that it matters) of the worst possible moments in a parent's life and I guess, since Buck didn't have Chris, and Buck was too shaken to explain what had happened, he assumed Buck lost Chris during the first wave and he's looking back because he's shocked he saved not only himself but Chris from the wave, but from his focus to shift to Buck like that it's interesting. Even more, considering the way he barges into the loft to hand Chris over again. "There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you" I'm sorry, there's no platonic explanation for the wording of this, okay? This is a man who looked at his honest to god wife, the mother of his child, and said "I can forgive you, I'm just not sure I can trust you" and trust is always the thing Eddie struggles with. To trust someone with Christopher is Eddie's ultimate show of love because it's what makes sense with his character, he is loyal until it kills him but nothing goes above Christopher. Also, Mr. Kids are signs hands over his own child to someone and I'm not supposed to look at that and go "huh wonder what he's feeling"? And there's the lawsuit of it all. Eddie gets that mad because he misses Buck and has no idea what to do with it. Because he got used to being a priority to Buck and he cannot handle the idea that maybe he's not. He's struggling, Chris is struggling and he needs Buck to do the thing he does where he fixes the problem without Eddie having to ask. But Buck has no real responsibility to Eddie or Chris, you can't really expect your best friend to base his life decisions on what's best for you. But it is the expectation Eddie has. He needs Buck to consider him. He needs Buck to be there for him no matter what. And at this point, when he's screaming at Buck as if they are a divorced couple, he's aware of something. He's definitely aware of something he doesn't want to look too closely at. 

Because being left by Buck leaves him completely off balance. And since Eddie is famous for not dealing with the shit he's feeling, things keep escalating because anger it's easier. Anger he can deal with. But in the end, he just wants Buck back so he forgives him the second he lets Buck speak. Because he wants the Buck that looks right through him, he wants what they have back. And he doesn't hesitate once he does. There are definitely some lingering feelings about how he kept pushing Shannon away and then she died and he "lost" time he could've had if he had let her in after he sought her out, so when Buck apologizes he just goes let's go team and moves on because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. 

But I think there's something important to take into consideration, that it's Eddie's therapy session. He talks about not feeling anything, good or bad, and the his feelings are boxed thing and how he doesn't know what to do with them and yes, that comes back into play later, but it is important that Eddie doesn't name his feelings and he consistently tries to box them and move past them instead of feeling them, and it gets to a point where he's doing this even to positive things. So he is not looking too closely as to why missing Buck throws him off balance. He's all let's go back to the way things were and they do. Forever seeking for a heterosexual explanation to the kitchen scene in 3x09 but I also do think there are different types of tension between them there. Because while Buck is teasingly trying to get Eddie to admit on what had happened and how Buck's absence was a trigger for Eddie's fight club era in his flirty way of his, Eddie is trying to make him stop talking in a real "man don't make me look at what happened too closely" because he doesn't know what he'll find. Or if he's ready to find it. Considering the whole widower who never processed a big emotion in a healthy way he has going on there. But Buck is a really steady presence in Eddie's life, and Buck does his best to not put them in the lawsuit situation again, he's around, he's helping Eddie with parenting issues and then we have the well.

The well is a pivotal moment. Not just because of the sheer amount of Buck in Eddie's I need to keep fighting montage and the way Buck is acting above the ground, but because of the way Eddie changes his will after that and chooses to hide the fact that he did. Eddie has parents who are more than willing to raise Christopher, he has sisters, he has a lot of blood relatives that he could assign as Chris' guardians if something happens, but he chooses Buck. He chooses a firefighter, who is not only a firefighter, it's also his partner so if Eddie ends up in a life-threatening situation, Buck will probably be there too, so it's not the biggest safeguard. Buck is also single and without kids of his own. He also has known Buck for what? 2 years at that point? Eddie's lawyer probably stared at Eddie in disbelief when Eddie explained the situation. But the real thing about the will is that Eddie doesn't talk about it. Dude had some revelations while under all that mud because the only reason he wouldn't tell Buck is if he couldn't tell Buck without talking about himself. That's the only explanation for why he would hide it. Because Buck would ask why him, why now, like he did when Eddie did finally tell him, but right then Eddie can't shift the focus back to Buck. But there's a very subtle change in the way Eddie acts around Buck after the well. And again, sure, you can play off Eddie's reaction to when Buck wants to do something dangerous as he needs Buck to stay alive, but you can't really apply that logic to the way Eddie acts about Abby. Like, Eddie is petty to girls who want Buck, that's a fact. And Eddie is petty about Abby, but he also gets unsure about his place in Buck's life when he sees Buck's reaction to seeing Abby. And they focus on Eddie there. We get Eddie's reaction to that interaction. That means something.

We get Eddie legit feeling insecure about his place in Buck's life over the fact that Abby is there. And Eddie knows Abby as this entity, the one that got away, the person responsible for Buck being the way he is, because that's the way Abby is talked about, and sure, if I was in Eddie's shoes, only seeing the damage someone did to my best friend and then have them risking their life because of whatever lingering feelings are still there, I would also reserve myself the right to hate them, but it's more than that. Like, the way he backs away from the both of them once Buck goes into protector mode.

"Abby, His fiancée's Abby." *stomps away*. Absolutely insane interactions happen there that paint Buck as still hung up on Abby, even more after the whole thing with Red, but if you look at it with the right lenses, it paints Eddie as jealous of the way Buck is willing to put himself in danger to keep someone who broke him happy.

Every reaction from Eddie in the train wreck feels so calculated to give this idea that he's unsure of his place in Buck's life. His face when he realizes who he's talking to, his hand hovering over Buck's shoulder like he wants to comfort him but doesn't know if he can, the way he looks at Buck after Abby and Sam are in the ambulance. He's completely off balance at the sight of the ghost of Buck's great lost love and I'm supposed to believe that man is just experiencing platonic friendship feelings about his best friend? Come on. 

Season 4 is complicated. Because of the Ana and Taylor of it all. They do have the easy banter, Eddie being someone Buck can rely on during the whole mess with his parents, a few scenes of Buck completely comfortable in Eddie's space and Eddie just moving around him like he's meant to be there, but we know the Ana of it all happens because of external pressure. Eddie thinks he needs to date, so he grabs onto the first woman he can. The way his whole body relaxes when he realizes Christopher is with Buck is actually insane. But even though he's dating, he's holding on to Buck in a way. Absolutely obsessed with how much he hates Taylor. Dude legit looks like he's fantasizing about running her over with the fire engine while watching Buck and Taylor interact making Buck ignore him. 

But then Eddie gets shot. Say whatever the fuck you want Eddie reached for Buck. He thought he was dying. And he reached for Buck.

Eddie's been aware of something he doesn't want to look at too closely since the lawsuit that became harder to ignore after the well that he became fully aware of when he got shot. I know that what we have now says Eddie doesn't remember the shooting but wouldn't it be beautiful if he lied because he can't say what he remembers because everything he remembers is about Buck? The dramatic effect of I'm lying to you because I realized I loved you then but I can't tell you that now? Ugh. Anyway, Eddie got shot, things fell into place when he hit the ground, terrible place to have an oh! moment though. Dude just got shot, he's bleeding out, and the thing he gathers the rest of his energy is to ask if Buck is hurt. Sure, you can look at that as I think I'm dying so one of us has to make it home to Chris, but the possibility of it being an I love you I need to know you're okay before this kills me it's there. But he doesn't die. And when he wakes up Buck tells him it would've been better if he had been shot. You can see it on Eddie's face that he kept rehearsing what he was going to say about the will. Something else is the way that Ali takes Buck home after the truck so it would honestly make sense if Ana took Eddie home but he probably asked Buck to do it. That scene feels like an aborted love confession. "You act like you're expendable but you're wrong" the way he's saying you're not spare parts, you're not less important, you matter so much to me. Eddie knows Buck, he knows Buck associates love with pain. He wouldn't actually say something after he almost died, but it feels like he's working up to something. Sure he needs to break up with Ana, but there's time before he heals and can just, do something about it. But then Taylor fucking Kelly is in his welcome home party. He knew Buck and Taylor were working up to something. He knows Taylor being there means it happened. A violent reminder that Buck is straight (debatable) and doesn't feel the same (also debatable). So back to safety, he goes. 

I need to know who decided that having this particular look when they are literally talking about how Eddie is about to meet Ana's whole family was the way to go.

Also, can you believe Eddie needed Buck's approval to break up with the girlfriend he didn't even want to date anyway?

Season 5 is complicated because of Eddie's PTSD, 5A has a lot of Eddie pulling away because of the way he knew when the dam broke it wouldn't be pretty and he didn't want to take down anyone with him. But even when we see Eddie out of the job, we see him making an effort to include Buck and Taylor so Buck would know that he really did mean the whole "you're stuck with us" thing. I can talk about 5x11 to 5x14 and the implications of it to buddie for days, really, (you can read this for some of those thoughts), but the thing here I guess, it's a lot about how when the box exploded, the feelings are all over the place, Eddie sits back and lets Buck in. He talks about the way he's feeling in a way we don't really see Eddie do all that often and he leans on Buck through his recovery and the process of finding out how to not feel like there's no hope for himself and how to feel comfortable in his own skin again. And it's a lot about Buck and the way Buck is constant. Eddie feels like Buck is this steady presence in his life that can and does help Eddie move forward.

But the thing is, the shooting happened, Eddie realized things, Taylor Kelly (derogatory) happened, Taylor Kelly (derogatory) took herself out of the running, Eddie now has the tools to deal with his own emotions, he's single, Buck's single, they're having dinner with Chris at Buck's loft and Eddie is asking Buck about things Chris kept from him, but Eddie is in a fantasy bubble where he can pretend he has the things he wants without actually asking for anything to change. I mean, post therapy Eddie is better with his feelings, but he's still Eddie. He was in his little I have time bubble. That was violently popped. Because Buck died. And he had to save him. "Do more" is such a desperate thing for a first responder and former combat medic to scream at a team of doctors. He knows they always do the best they can. He did the best he could, but there's only so far he can go. The way he follows the gurney hurts me in so many ways. Some real don't go where I can't follow bullshit.

This is a man who watched Buck almost die multiple times. But this is also a man who never contemplated the possibility of Buck actually dying. The thing that drives me crazy about Eddie and everything surrounding Buck's death is that he can't look at it. He can't take his eyes off him, but once he's out of his sight he can't look at him again. He spends the whole time not looking at Buck. He looks away every time someone mentions it. Even when he's in the room with Chris he's not looking. 3 minutes 17 seconds. Look, this number bothers me. Bobby said they were 3 minutes out from the hospital and that it took 3 minutes to start compressions. So Buck was dead for 6 minutes. The rescue took 3 minutes. And Eddie counted. That's the only explanation for this particular number. He counted how long it took to get Buck to Chim and Hen and in the ambulance ready to go.

But Eddie was living comfortably in his bubble, I don't think he was at peace with it, but I do think he accepted it. But Buck wakes up, Buck seeks him out to help deal with the trauma. They look like a family, they act like a family, maybe it's not hopeless after all. Maybe Buck can feel the same and they can talk about it once Buck is not feeling so raw over his own death. Buck is just there all the time, something like that can't be one-sided, can it? But then Buck pulls the rug from under him. I made a very long post about the cemetery, you can read that one if you want, but the thing about that conversation is that it is a reminder that they are not on the same page. Because Buck throws him off balance again, considering the way Eddie was trying his hardest to be there for Buck just for Buck to say he's getting what he wants from a random woman he met a few days before. And it makes Eddie back away so he won't end up hurting his own feelings more. I think at this point Eddie has accepted the fact that he's going to have to be Buck's best man and is trying to find a way to be okay with it. So he's retreating to familiarity again. It explains why he's trying to recreate what he had with Shannon because he loved Shannon, so maybe if he found that again he wouldn't have to cut Buck off to move on. Because he needs Buck on some level but there is a limit on how much he can take while Buck goes around looking for something he already has.

And yes I talked and talked and talked but why does this mean Eddie fell first? Well, Buck will never figure it out on his own. The thing about Buck is that Buck doesn’t know what healthy love is. He thinks love is work, but in a it’s bleeding himself dry for someone way. He thinks love is pain. Eddie is safety. Eddie is home. He never knew home as a place where he can find love.

This is all for today. If you read this I love you. Also the doc I typed it out says it has over 4.3k words so this is long as fuck congratulations for sticking through it 🩷

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | October 28th-November 3rd 2024

To my American neighbours, I hope you've all exercised your right to vote or will soon do so, and I'm hoping for all of our sakes for a good outcome after Tuesday. 🙏

Complete

all dressed up (with somewhere to go) by 42hrb / @exhuastedpigeon (S8, Halloween, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): “Hey,” Buck grinned when he reached Spider-man, grabbing him by the wrist to turn him around. He peeled the mask up just enough to kiss him. That was weird too, he’d never had to lean down to kiss Tommy before, even if it was only by an inch. Maybe the boots Buck was wearing had a bigger sole than he’d realized. Buck wrapped his arms around him and deepened the kiss, groaning just a little when he felt Tommy wrap his arms around Buck too. “Evan?”

Cleaning Up After Communion by Pansys_goth_gf (Post-S8E5: Masks, Friends to Fiancés | 3K | Teen): “I want to fuck a priest.” Across from him, Frank blinks. Pauses. Then sets down his notebook and leans forwards. “Do you want to fuck a priest, or do you want to fuck God?” Or, Eddie crushes on a priest, figures out his feelings, and does something selfish

never believe it's not so by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Magic AU, Maddie POV | 6K | Teen): Maddie Buckley never expected to enjoy hanging out with her little brother's best friend. She just didn't think they could have all that much in common. Turns out they've got more in common than she could have expected. And she can't tell Buck. In which Maddie has magic. And so does Buck. And so does Eddie. And she can't tell either of them. Or: 5 times Maddie has to listen to Buck and Eddie talk about each other without spilling their secrets, and one time they actually talk to each other.

i put a spell on you (because you're mine) by teenytinytomlinson/ @littlefreakbuckley (S8, Infidelity, Getting Together | 11K | Explicit): Tommy bails on Buck's Halloween plans, Eddie offers to take his place in the couple's costume contest, and Buck goes home with a grand prize.

🔥we won't look back, we won't be lost by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7, Dad Buck | 37K | Teen): Over six years after the 118 rescued a baby from a pipe, Buck meets that same child again on a different call. And in all that time, she never found a home. OR: Buck adopts Pipe Baby while Eddie waits for Christopher to come home.

WIP

eddie diaz vs. the dating apps by savemebobbynash (Post-S7, Getting Together | 5/8 | 10K | Mature): Newly out as gay, Eddie Diaz explores dating apps with the help of his teenage son and his chaotic best friend.

🔥 go and kill, go and die by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Zombie Apocalypse AU | 11/14 | 48K | Mature): The 118 are a group of survivors in a small California town in the wake of a zombie apocalypse. For months they've been isolated and safe. But the arrival of some new players, the search for some missing loved ones, will shake everything up and put their little team in jeopardy.

[tryingtograspctrl]

NO TIME TO WASTE: EDDIE DIAZ X BLACK PLUS SIZE READER

SUMMARY: You had been Christopher's babysitter for the past three years, you fell in love with Eddie almost instantly and the feelings were mutual but the two of you didn't act on it trying to keep your relationship professional. When a robbery gone wrong nearly costs you your life he knows he has confess.

Warning: Mentions of shooting, beating, multiple injuries such as a gunshot wound and broken ribs, mentions of shock and guilt. I promise there’s a happy ending!

“Wait isn’t that…”

"My place." Eddie finished, a chill washing over him.

There were reports of a robbery at his house and the police requested that paramedics be on the scene with them, just in case.

The fire truck came to a stop and Eddie practically flew out of it. Barging through his front door, running through his house like a mad man, Buck not too far behind him.

He fell to his knees once he reached the living room, pure panic filling him.

"Y/n? Y/n! stay with me, stay with me please." He cried putting pressure on the gunshot wound near your chest.

You were unconscious, breathing shallow and there were bruises all over your face, one eye already turning a deep shade of purple.

"Are you okay? what happened?" He looked over at Christopher who was just as distraught as him.

"He shot her, he shot her!" The boy weeped, body shaking rapidly.

Buck wasted no time scooping him into his arms and carrying him away from the scene.

"Christopher, christopher get out of here, before he comes back." You mumbled incoherently as you came to.

"What the hell are you guys doing?! Get a gurney in here!" Eddie yelled looking around wildly.

"Eddie you have to step back so we can help her." Hen spoke gently behind him.

He stood on shakey legs, stepping back allowing Hen and Chimney to work on you.

He sped out of the door, taking Christopher from Bucks arms.

"Thank god you're okay." He kissed the boy’s head repeatedly, breathing heavily.

"She was trying to stop him and he beat her up dad, he just kept hitting her and hitting her." Chris spoke quietly in a state of shock.

Eddie and Buck shared a look of horror.

"He tried to hurt me but y/n stopped him... is y/n gonna die because of me?" He looked up at his father, eyes wide.

"Hey no, no buddy she's not gonna die, and it's not your fault okay? It's not your fault." Eddie sobbed holding the boy to his chest.

At the hospital

Eddie paced near the front desk, anxiously waiting to hear something, anything from the doctor about your condition.

"Eddie you need to sit down and try to breathe, it won't do you any good if you have a panic attack." Bobby placed a hand on his shoulder.

"How could i not? Someone broke into our house, tried to hurt my kid, beat y/n to a pulp and shot her!" He began to shake.

Bobby led him to a seat, Hen not far behind them doing her best to get him to calm down.

"Mr Diaz?" A doctor came over.

"Yes? Is she alright?" He stood. 

"Luckily the bullet went straight through, just barely missing her heart. She's got a couple broken ribs, a few bruises and a sprained ankle but other than that she'll be fine." The doctor said.

"Is she awake? Can we see her?" Bobby asked.

"Yes." The doctor nodded before walking off.

Eddie scooped up Christopher and rushed toward your room, the rest of the team following.

"Hi." You smiled weakly at everyone.

"Y/n i'm sorry." Christopher frowned walking toward your bed side.

"Sorry for what?" You asked frowning.

"This is all my fault." He began to cry.

"Hey don't say that." You did your best to sit up, wincing.

"You didn't do anything wrong, so don't go blaming yourself kid. I love you, and it's my job to protect you, i wasn't gonna let him hurt you, i'll never let anyone hurt you." You grabbed his hand.

"I'll take a thousand bullets to keep you safe, got that? Plus i'm still alive right? I got a cool story to tell now." You pinched his cheeks getting a giggle out of him.

"There's that smile, now no more tears." You wiped his face.

Everyone smiled at the sight before stepping out to give the three of you some room.

"You scared me." Eddie grabbed your hand kissing your knuckles lightly.

"Sorry." You sighed.

"You have nothing to apologize for, i was just so worried that.." He breathed shakily.

"Hey, i'm not going anywhere anytime soon. You're not gonna lose me." You stroked his cheek.

"You better not, i don't know what i'd do without the woman that i love beside me." He looked at you.

"Woman that you love?" You looked at him in surprise.

"Yes, i'm in love with you y/n and i'm tired of suppressing it. I wouldn’t know what to do without you or Christopher." He confessed.

"I'm in love with you too Eddie, and you won’t ever have to worry about any of that because like i said i’m not going anywhere and neither is Christopher.�� You looked at him tenderly.

He leaned forward, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss.

"Heyyy i'm still here." Christopher groaned.

"Sorry bud." Eddie chuckled ruffling his hair.

Time skip.

A few days went by and you were finally able to check out of the hospital, you weren't completely healed but were well enough to be let go.

Athena and Bobby insisted that you Eddie and Christopher stay at their place for the time being, the guy had been caught but you could never be too safe, plus they had figured the three of you wouldn’t want to go back there so soon considering everything that happened.

They were throwing a party at the firehouse today to celebrate Maddie and Chimney's first wedding anniversary and you insisted on going.

It took a lot of convincing to get Athena to budge, she could be quite stubborn but she eventually gave in getting you and Christopher into the car and heading off.

She handed you your crutches as you hopped out of the car.

The three of you walked in Buck instantly grabbing Christopher, a bright smile on his face.

"What are you doing here you're supposed to be resting." Eddie frowned guiding you to a chair.

"Eddie if i spent another minute at the house i was gonna go insane." You huffed.

"I'm sorry baby i'm just worried." He pecked your cheek.

"I'm fine, doctor says i can get the cast taken off in a few more days so i'll be able to walk again, and my ribs don't even hurt that badly anymore." You explained.

"That's great." He smiled kissing you sweetly.

You melted grabbing onto the collar of his shirt.

"Ugh get a room." Chimney joked.

You both just laughed happy to finally be in each other's arms.

A/N - Had this idea written down for a couple days and i just got around to finishing it. I’ve been obsessed with Eddie lately. 🌻

[peppermintquartz]

some possible midseason bucktommy angst:

Tommy gets into an accident at work partially because he got a little cocky. He's okay, but Buck finds himself overwhelmed (he doesn't fall to pieces, not until Tommy's safe, and then he just crumples at home alone in the loft) by what could have been, and the fact that Buck would not have been anywhere close enough to try to save him, not like he was able to save Christopher and Eddie when they were in danger.

So he tells Tommy he wants to break up (so that neither of them will have to feel the worst kind of heartbreak).

It kinda blindsides Tommy, who naturally assumes the worst, and he tries to get Buck to tell him why but Buck just says "It's not you, it's me" and then he clams up and avoids him.

Over the next two, three episodes we hear voicemails that Buck doesn't delete but never replies to, sees some texts, and Tommy finally comes to the station but Buck hides from him until a job rolls in, and Buck quickly goes out to work, pretending he doesn't see Tommy's devastated expression.

Unfortunately in the meantime the people who can talk sense into Buck are occupied with their own shit - Hen and Karen with the councilwoman, Eddie with being on his own in his adult life for the first time in forever and discovering himself, Bobby not at the station and not really able to observe Buck, Chimney and Maddie having some trouble with their daughter maybe (not that I want harm to come to Jee-yun but she's so cute, so something will, if my writer's instincts are correct).

Then Tommy accidentally sees Buck and Eddie hugging and thinks that Buck got together with Eddie and gets super jealous. Tommy asks Eddie out for a spar but doesn't ask Eddie anything about the hug, he just keeps fighting and not pulling his punches or kicks, and finally when it gets too heated and they're pulled apart, Tommy spits out that he isn't ever giving up on getting Evan back. Then Eddie realizes what happened and he clarifies matters with Tommy.

Then Eddie is on Tommy's side to get Buck and Tommy to reconcile. Then Buck is hurt quite seriously because of poor leadership and Tommy almost assaults Gerard after he rescues Buck; he's stopped only because Chimney and Athena and Eddie hold him back.

He rushes to the hospital, but Buck doesn't want to see him. Tommy is beyond frustrated, because he doesn't know what he did wrong, and he wants to make it right, and he begs Maddie and Chimney to help. Maddie goes in and sits with her brother, who finally confesses that he's really afraid that if he'll loses Tommy while they're together, he won't be able to take it.

"I live with that thought every day," Maddie tells him, stern and wise and kind. "And I have two of you to worry about. Every time you and Chim are at work, my heart is with you. Should I leave Chimney then, because he might die on the job?"

"What? No, of course not!"

"Then why are you doing this to Tommy?" Maddie is very gentle and she kisses the top of her little brother's head. "I'm gonna let him in, and you're going to talk this out with him, ok?"

Tommy comes into the ward, Buck takes his hand, and they finally have some time alone.

"I thought you'd thrown me over for Eddie," Tommy admits. "I know you two are close."

"I was just afraid I'd lose you and not be able to save you," Buck says. "I didn't want you to feel how I felt that day. I thought I could protect you from that pain."

"We won't have to worry for a bit, seeing how you're in hospital and I, uh, I may be suspended for threatening to assault a captain."

"You did that? For me?"

Then it's them saying sorry for being stupid and then making up, and that's when Tommy says, "I love you, Evan Buckley, and nothing will keep me safer than knowing I have you to come home to."

So that's how they split and reconcile and how Tommy gets to say 'I love you' first

[deluweil]

I've seen people talk about the distance that Buck and Tommy keep in the cemetery scene, others say that Buck looks at Tommy when he says the having people in our lives line, but at the make it worth living part he no longer looks at Tommy.

Something, though, that snared my attention was that at first Buck talks about Billy's people leaving him alone, which got me thinking, in that montage, Eddie is the only one left alone, Christopher is away, Buck is busy with a certain someone,

And Eddie is left by himself. He's there for everyone, but no one is really there for him.

It's not an accusation. People's lives get in the way, they get busy, and they have their own problems.

It's just that Eddie is so good at putting up a brave face, that no one notices until it's too late.

The other thing, is the actual parallel to death and taxes,

In 6x15, Eddie repeats what the old lady told him at the fake funeral.

In 8x05, Buck says that he can't imagine how hard it is to go through life alone, at that montage we see Eddie alone,

And then he says,

The thing is, that both scenes happen after 6x11. Buck didn't die alone, and he wasn't alone in his recovery, he had everyone fussing and he had the constant companionship of Eddie and Christopher.

He also had Natalia, who was completely ineffective but she was there, sort off.

Which makes me think, we have first stage of going through life alone for Eddie, in my opinion the next step is Eddie slowly dying alone with the others either trying to get to him or getting to him after the fact.

And that pretty much covers the next step in Eddie's story with those two scenes.

Because something has got to give, and Eddie dying(not permanently, of course) will jump start, imo, the next step in his story.

This was a foreshadowing, and for once, it will not be completely about Buck. I hope.