#Chomps is out for blood

[asktherandomfam-archive]

Chomps - "Oh... What a shame... Well, looks like somebody's gonna die tonight. And this time, there's no kindhearted soul to save anyone from a relentless, revenge beating."

(@ask-the-royal-absol)

[thebramblewood]

Helena seeks out new ways to satisfy her insatiable cravings for blood (none of which are very successful).

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Chapter 3: Sustenance Methods and Sources

Helena, thinking: Ugh! No way that's going to cut it.

Hmm... [to Banjo] C'mere, boy.

Banjo: [whimpering]

Julia: Banjo! Where are you? I'm ready for my morning kisses!

Helena: [muttering under breath] Oh my god. What the fuck is wrong with me?

-

Darling: Yooooo! Helena! Long time no see.

Helena: [awkwardly] Oh, uh, hey, Darling.

Darling: Interesting assortment of items you've got there. What's with all the meat? Aren't you a vegetarian?

Helena: [nervous chuckle] It's for my parents. They've been away on vacation and I wanted to give them a warm welcome home: burgers for Dad and a clean house for Mom.

Darling: Helena, wait up! I can't believe you didn't tell me you were back in town. We've got so much catching up to do!

Helena: Well, I was hoping not to be back for too long, but you know how the job market is these days...

Darling: Yeah, it's been a real rude awakening after relying on my basketball scholarship so long. But I just landed a sweet bartending gig. I can totally score you free drinks!

Helena: Cool. But I'd better get going now.

Darling: What's the rush?

Helena: Sorry. I just can't trust my sister not to burn the place down if I leave her unattended.

Darling: Well, call me if you ever want to hang. I'm assuming you haven't lost my number!

-

Helena, thinking: I can't believe it's come to this.

[immediately gags] NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!

[meggydolaon]

old doobles I forgor to share

Edelgard and Silvally!! Her name is Harmony (she/her bc before therapy was invented all u can do is project on your wierd dog). Used to being hidden away as a Type: Null, Harmony now likes to be included in all of Edie's activities :)

In this au, the deal with Type: Full would be that it'd be the only pokemon that can harness the power of Crests- something previously unique to humans (and Nabateans ofc). With bits of Crest stones or blood, Type: Full would gain that Crest's power as well as it's associated type

[glucosegaurdian]

Something something a smoothie God the newest chapter got me feeling the emotions

Luffy and Zoro’s interactions with everyone written so in character it made me want to bite someone it’s not even funny anymore I’m obsessed and it’s not going away help

Luffy saw a problem and decided to fix it without telling anyone how he planned to do it and Zoro just reassuring everyone that Luffy has it handled and has a plan gahhhhhhh I’m going to have a stroke

[sysig]

Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)

[fatuismooches]

Okay, fragile!reader and childhood!reader are both cute and sweet, but how about Dottore being stuck with an absolute gremlin?

No doubt gremlin reader would bite and chomp on him out of nowhere (he is considering biting back by now) gremlin reader being the equivalent of a cat that was given an energy drink. Absolutely bouncing off the walls!! Off of his clones!!

Definetely chases his clones around on all fours and harasses them constantly. Sits in dark corners and stares silently (dottore is probably exasperated and is definitely thinking 'wtf' and 'how did I end up with this??') Dottore probably has to restrain reader at least once per day 😔😔 you will be strapped to the table and stay silent there's nothing you can do about it!!!

His subordinates definitely think you are one of his experiments that he simply let's roam free (you will not spare them from being tackled to the ground out of nowhere either 😾)

GREMLIN READER 😭😭 I LOVE IT. Dottore with his equally as chaotic darling <3 Both of you WILL bite each other with no remorse (you two get used to it at some point and hardly react to the intrusion anymore)

Harassing the clones 😋 Talking their ear off and trying to get all the best angles when they're conducting heinous experiments 💖 You'd probably get along with the child clone :3 (partners in crime fr)

Dottore strapping you to the table in order to have a normal conversation with you is kinda funny 😭 No, you can't keep throwing your arms around him and playing with his silly outfit when he's trying to be serious. The regular people there are scared of you and your antics but they realize it's better than being near Dottore so they'll happily awkwardly let you tackle them and ramble on. It's for the greater good.

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Does anyone else picture Jonny's headless body running around trying to find his head during Teatime With The Kaiser or is that just me because personally I think it's hilarious

[keydekyie]

ew! wipe your mouth, boy!!!

[sofiiel]

Fic: In The Moonlight.

Reader's two beaus are slightly bloodied, but it's not theirs.

Do not repost. Do not edit. Do not post off Tumblr. Please & Thank you ❤

[ozlices]

saying the fnaf movie wasnt gory enough is hilarious like oh im sorry was seeing freddy LITERALLY BITE A WOMAN IN HALF, AND SEEING HER TORSO FUCKING FLY AWAY SOMEHOW NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU???????? LMAO????????????????

[omarwolaeth]

gonna draw a screwed up boy

[casualavocados]

my dog fucking bit me (for the first time!!) 🐍😇🥰

[astramachina]

Writing this fic with the intention of dropping it into my obscure AO3 side-account but the more i work on it the more I lose my mind over how fucking based the whole thing so WHO KNOWS i might end up uploading it on my main after all.

[theobot]

Me, sliding out of my room, skincare half done, pajamas half on, at 11:28pm to shove a handful of Swedish fish in my mouth so I can check “eat a snack” off on my to do list before my 11:30 pm bedtime

[endawn]

uh so you know how greater demons can control lesser demons? envy > hunger. taking pax to val to confront ‘lucius’ would be….hm. pax would likely be able to clock him, but i don’t think he’d be able to say anything. like, physically incapable. mayhaps even after they return to haven pax quite literally has no memory of the entire trip.

[ratwars]

The hard finger biting though makes me think he is def sadistic tho that is a boney area and you know he is looking at her the whole time to watch her wince.