#Childhood Home
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Went and visited my childhood home today, it was all run down and overgrown. Everything came back to me very hard and I think Iâll be thinking of it for a while.
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smile like you mean it - the killers
ft. actual pictures of my childhood home in â03
#selling your childhood home vibes#smile like you mean it#the killers#lyrics#lyric art#the killers lyrics#art#collage#collage art#photoshop#photoshop collage#photoshop art#digital art#digital collage#childhood#girlhood#home#childhood home#house#magazine letters#colorful#nostalgia#nostalgic#nostaligiacore#someone is playing a game in the house that i grew up in#hot fuss#2000s#2000s nostalgia
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REDID THE CONCEPT OF MY MAIN OC'S CHILDHOOD HOME
#original art#artwork#digital art#illustration#illustrator#illustrative art#sketch#sketches#painting#homes#concept art#conceptual#background#portfolio#original worlds#trees and forests#forest#trees#woods#sun rays#childhood#childhood home#commissions open
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#dreamcore#weirdcore#weirdcore art#oddcore#dereality#liminal#surreal#nostalgiacore#nostalgia#childhood memories#childhood#childhood home#unreality#memories#memory#vix is not real
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#mine.#morute#sad bbydoll#sad bbydolls#the knife girl#nanas house âĄ#appalachia#appalachian#vintage americana#vintage#childhood home#grandmas house
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The Hunter and the Witch~ Dean
Winchester x f!reader
Description: Sam is haunted by a vision of a woman trapped in his childhood house
Warning: cannon violence, tension/ minor flirting, slight angst and comfort, mentions of death, mentions of a dead parent, the use of witchcraft that isn't exactly apart of Supernatural lore but does have ties to many folklore's interpretations of a witches capability from European Folklore to Appalachian Folk Magic and many more (i used a mix of different lore to create my own interpretation) this took so long to research, l also was testing things out in my apartment so i'd be able to write it properly- literally rearranging furniture for it
Tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld ,
@okayiamkassandra, @fablerose , @ada--44
Word Count: 12,947
Home
(Master list, Previous Ch., Next Ch.)
I stumble into the boys motel room, stifling a yawn from passing through my lips. Did I wake up two hours ago and refuse to get out of the stiff motel bed instead of coming to meet my lovely friends in their room?
Yes!
âGood morning my little stabby huntersâ I greet cheerfully, closing and locking the door behind me. Sam mumbles some incoherent version of a greeting from where he sat on his bed while Dean looks up from Samâs laptop, âMorninâ sweetheartâ
I walk up to each boy individually giving their hair a nice ruffle before shuffling my way to sit criss-cross applesauce on the unoccupied bed. âYou had perfect timing âcause I think I found a few candidates for our next gig.â
âOooh how funâ I half sarcastically say, âread âem out!â
âAlright we got a fishing trawler found off the coast of Caliâ I nod pretending to know what a âtrawlerâ is, â â-its crew vanished. And, uh, we got some cattle mutilations in West Texas.â Dean lists out looking up every now and then for a reaction, âHey. Sammy.â He calls out to his brother whoâs sat drawing something on a little notepad.
Sam looks up, giving Dean an annoyed look waiting for what he has to say. Dean leans back in his chair, âAm I boring you with this hunting evil stuff?â
âNo. Iâm listening. Keep going.â Sam declares, going right back to his drawing. He was in fact not paying attention.
âAnd, here, a Sacramento man shot himself in the head. Three times.â He stops speaking again, waving his hand in the air intended to get his brother's attention, âAny of these things blowinâ up your skirt, pal?â
Sam suddenly sits up fully, âWait. Iâve seen this.â
âSeen what?â I ask, Dean and I sharing a confused look. But Sam doesn't answer, he just crosses the room towards his duffel bag, searching for something. âWhat are you doing?â Dean asks. Again Sam doesn't answer, finally finding whatever he was looking for he pauses studying the two things in his hands, he swiftly turns around âI know where we have to go next.â
âWhere?â Dean muses, asking the question were both thinking.
âBack home â- back to Kansasâ Sam breathes, a hint of panic in his eyes.
âOkay, random. Whereâd that come from?â
Sam shows the thing he took out of his bag, a photo, to his brother, I get up to view it too. âAll right, um, this photo was taken in front of our old house, right? The house where Mom died?â Sam asks, looking between the sort of family photo taken in front of their house and his brother.
âYeah.â Dean answers plainly.
âAnd it didnât burn down, right? I mean, not completely, they rebuilt it, right?â Sam asks further.
âYeah it took âem a while to, I think it was mostly out of respect because no one ever moved in after you either, as far as I know.â I answer only knowing because I lived in town even after they moved away.
âOkay, well, someone lives there nowâŠand, I, uh, look, this is gonna sound crazy butâŠ.the people who live in our old house â- I think they might be in danger.â Sam stammers
âWhy would you think that?â Dean asks the obvious question. âUhâŠitâs just, umâŠ.look, just trust me on this, okay?â He starts to walk away to the other side of the room, Dean following suit, âWait, whoa, whoa, trust you?â
The fighting begins, I think to myself as I chew on the inside of my cheek. I knew Dean would probably act harsher then he meant to, his momâhis old house being a very rough topic for him.
Now itâs Samâs turn to answer simply, âYeah.â
âCome on, man, thatâs weak. You gotta give me a little bit more than that.â Dean raises his voice slightly.
âI canât really explain it is allâ Sam says looking around the room instead of making eye contact.
âWell, tough. Iâm not goinâ anywhere until you doâ Dean crosses his arms waiting expectantly.
Sam sighs, âI have these nightmares.â
âIâve noticedâ Dean says while nodding and I want to step in and lecture him for coming off so mean, but I bite my tongue.
âAnd sometimesâŠâ Sam pauses for a while before continuing, ââŠthey come true.â This time I donât bite my tongue, the word slipping out of my lips out of pure shock, âSamâ I gasp. âCome again?â Dean says almost at the same time as my gasp.
âLookâŠ.I dreamt about Jessicaâs death â- for days before it happened.â Sam tries to explain further, nearly getting cut off by his brother, âSam, people have weird dreams, man. Iâm sure itâs just a coincidence.â I know Dean doesn't want to believe it, I know heâs scared of what this could mean. But I canât help but feel this is like the argument Dean had started on my twelfth birthday, all those years ago. It felt especially silly to feel this way now, not when I never held a grudge against him because of it. Maybe I should have but I could never find it within myself to do so.
Dean sits down on one of the beds and itâs clear he doesn't know what to do with himself. Sam begins to explain himself more, which I hate the fact he has to, âNo, I dreamt about the blood dripping, her on the ceiling, the fire, everything, and I didnât do anything about it âcause I didnât believe it. And now Iâm dreaming about that tree, about our house, and about some woman inside screaming for help. I mean, thatâs where it all started, man, this has to mean something, right?â
âI donât know.â Dean huffs out. Itâs clear heâs overwhelmed, which is a significantly better reaction than what I got to his whole realization of what I really wasâa witchâdespite the fact he already knew that. I want to respect their relationship and not speak when itâs not my right to, and yet if it comes down to it I know I will. I wonât let their relationship fall apart because of this, I wonât let a hatred form between them. Let alone like how Dean had hated me for months and I had hated myself too.
âI-it can mean something. There's a lot of cultures that believe that dreams are capable of showing the future as a guidance or even as a warning. Egyptians, Romans, and Greeks, they all believed in this; it's,um, called oneiromancy.â I pipe in quietly as if scared that saying it too loud would shatter the delicate atmosphere. Sam was looking at me with big eyes like he was hanging on to each word I spoke, nodding along.
âAll right, just slow down, would ya?â Dean stands abruptly beginning to pace the carpeted floor, âI mean, first you tell me that youâve got the Shining? And then you tell me that Iâve gotta go back home? Especially whenâŠ.â
âWhen what?â Sam asks carefully.
Dean sounds on the verge of tears, probably the most vulnerable heâs been in a long time, âWhen I swore to myself that I would never go back there?â The air, the atmosphere itself, felt fragile then too as if something so palpable had to be careful of where it stood
Sam begins softly, his eyes scrunched in a mix of worry and sympathy, âLook, Dean, we have to check this out. Just to make sure.â
âI know we do.â Dean nods, his head hung low.
The Impala pulls up in front of the old Winchester house, the cute little two story green house standing there simply. I canât help but wonder if in a hundred years these people who lived in Lawrence would know what happened here? The family that was lost here? Maybe not physically but you can trace everything back to this simple house, where these boys lost a piece of themselves no matter how young they were. You can still feel it in the air now, in this car with Dean's head hung low as he peers up at his old house, the only and last house heâs ever had.
âYou gonna be all right, man?â Sam asks, trying to catch his brother's eyes. Dean swallowâs thickly, âLet me get back to you on that.â We exit the safety of the car and with each step forward the weight of this settles on our shoulders, the realness of this all. I know this isnât about me, but if I let my mind stop focusing on the task at hand I know that it will wisp away to my old house. Just on the other side of town, to every moment I spent wandering the streets with no where particular in mind-
A sharp knocking on the front door snaps me out of my mind. A pretty blonde opens the door, her eyebrows scrunched in what seems like stress, âYes?â she answers.
âSorry to bother you, maâam, but weâre with the Federalââ Dean begins his lie getting cut off by his brother, âIâm Sam Winchester, this is my brother, Dean, and our friend Y/N. My brother and I, uh, we used to live here. You know, we were just drivinâ by, and we were wondering if we could come see the old place.â
âWinchester. Yeah, thatâs so funny. You know, I think I found some of your photos the other night.â She laughs lightly. Dean's face drops a little, a mix of curiosity and longing on his face that if I hadnât seen it before, hadnât known him so well I wouldnât have recognized it. âYou did?â he asks, and I'd have to think it was a look of longing for his life back then, before he lost his mom, to a life that was so simple and child-like because that might have been the only time he really was a child.
She nods and steps aside, âCome on in.â The inside of the house wasnât so much different from what Iâve been told about it, she shuts and locks the door behind us and we wait for her to lead us further in before moving. âIâm Jenny by the wayâ she says moving past us. She leads us into the big kitchen, a young girl doing homework at the table while an adorable jumpy toddler bounces in his little playpen, I canât help the smile that creeps up on my face at the sight.
âJuice! Juice! Juice! Juice!â The toddler chants, bouncing as he speaks.
âThatâs Ritchie. Heâs kind of a juice junkie.â She introduces going over to the fridge, taking out a sippy cup and handing it to the bouncy baby. âHe has good tasteâ I laugh, the kid being just so freaking adorable.
Jenny walks over to her daughter, âSari, this is Sam and Dean, they used to live here. And thatâs their friend Y/n.â I smile at the girl who greets us with a small âHi.â Dean for some reason waved awkwardly at the child, as if he doesn't know how to act around kids when thatâs so far from the truth.
âHey, Sari.â Sam smiles before allowing her to get back to her homework.
âSo, you just moved in?â Dean asks, jumping right to it. âYeah, from Wichita.â Jenny answers, referring to a different part of Kansas.
âYou got family here, orâŠ.?â Dean continues to ask, and honestly itâs kind of a creepy question. She answers a little hesitantly, âNo. I just, uhâŠ.needed a fresh start, thatâs all. So, new town, new job â- I mean, as soon as I find one. New house.â
âDo you like it here?â I ask genuinely. âWell, uh, all due respect to your childhood homeâ She starts looking at the boys as she speaks, ââŠI mean, Iâm sure you had lots of happy memories hereâŠbut this place has its issues.â
âWhat do you mean?â Sam asks almost a little too quickly.
Jenny sighs, âWell, itâs just getting old. Like the wiring, you know? Weâve got flickering lights almost hourly.â
âI think thatâs an easy fixâ I try to remain hopeful, itâs not like we can just tell her âoh yeah thatâs âcause your house is probably haunted by a demon or something.â And under the assumption that it was just faulty wiring, I really wasnât sure if it was an easy fix. I mean I am no electrician.
âAnything else?â Dean adds in.
âUmâŠsinkâs backed up, thereâs rats in the basement.â She lists off before pausing for a beat, looking between us nervously, âIâm sorry. I donât mean to complain.â Dean looks a little taken back by this concern, because what was written on his face was far from offense, âNo. Have you seen the rats or have you just heard scratching?â
âItâs just the scratching, actually.â She answers.
âMom?â Sari calls out lightly, Jenny kneels down to her daughter waiting for her to continue, âAsk them if it was here when they lived here.â
âWhat, Sari?â Sam asks, confused.
âThe thing in my closet.â She answers weakly, and I swear my heart broke a little at the way in which she said it.
âOh, no, baby, there was nothing in their closets.â Jenny answers softly, reminding me of my mothers soft tone when she spoke to us. Jenny looks up at the boys, âRight?â
Sam stumbles over his words as he answers, âRight. No, no, of course not.â
âShe had a nightmare the other night.â Jenny explains, a hand on her daughter's shoulder.
Sari shakes her head, âI wasnât dreaming. It came into my bedroom â- and it was on fire.â
Uh oh.
~~~~~~~~
âYou hear that? A figure on fire.â Sam whisper-shouts, mainly to his brother who was walking a little too quickly then necessary to his car. The man in question turns around swiftly, âAnd that woman, Jenny, that was the woman in your dreams?â
âYeah. And you hear what she was talking about? Scratching, flickering lights, both signs of a malevolent spirit.â Sam bites back.
âYeah, well, Iâm just freaked out that your weirdo visions are cominâ true.â Dean snaps.
Samâs eyes were wide with panic, âWell, forget about that for a minute. The thing in the house, do you think itâs the thing that killed Mom and Jessica?â
âI donât know!â Dean snaps.
Back and forth they fight like two dogs having a barking match from just over the fence. âWell, I mean, has it come back or has it been here the whole time?â Sam starts again.
âOr maybe itâs something else entirely, Sam, we donât know yet.â
âWell, those people are in danger, Dean. We have to get âem out of that house.â
âAnd we will.â
âNo, I mean now.â
âAnd how you gonna do that, huh? You got a story that sheâs gonna believe?â
âThen what are we supposed to do?â
âBoth of you, stop!â I nearly shout, both boys going quiet, âLookâ I sigh. âI get this is scary and all but you two bickering isnât going to get us anywhere! And if we want to help that nice family we have to think logically. We donât know what weâre dealing with, maybe itâs something else or maybe we have to prepare ourselves for the fact that it is that monster.
Either way we canât just run into this with assumptions or lead on feeling alone, okay? âCause thatâs how we mess up and wind up dead and I donât know âbout you boys but iâm not quite craving the taste of death just yet.â I take a deep breath before continuing, âSo, letâs pretend this is any olâ case, any other hunt. What do we do first?â
âResearchâ Dean mumbles as if he was a kid who got caught doing something wrong, which arguably isnât so far from the truth.
âCheck our bases, dig into the historyâ Sam adds.
âExactlyâ I smile, âGood jobâ
Dean opens the driver seat door, getting in as he speaks, âExcept this time, we already know what happened.â
Sam and I followed suit, âYeah, but how much do we know? I mean, how much do you actually remember?â he asks. Dean looks around a little uncomfortable, âAbout that night, you mean?â
âYeah.â
âNot much. I remember the fireâŠthe heat.â He pauses, âAnd then I carried you out the front door.â
âYou did?â Sam asks surprised.
Dean scuffs, starting the car and pulling out of the spot, âYeah, what, you never knew that?â
Sam shakes his head, âNo.â
Dean continues, âAnd, well, you know Dadâs story as well as I do. Mom wasâŠ.was on the ceiling. And whatever put her there was long gone by the time Dad found her.â
âAnd he never had a theory about what did it?â Sam questions further, and up until now I didnât realize how much he was kept in the dark about such a significant moment in his life.
Dean shrugs, âIf he did, he kept it to himself. God knows we asked him enough times.â Sam starts again, âOkay. So, if weâre gonna figure out whatâs goinâ on nowâŠwe have to figure out what happened back then. And see if itâs the same thing.â
Dean again looks around uncomfortably, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel, âYeah. Weâll talk to Dadâs friends, neighbors, people who were there at the time.â
Sam notices this obvious movement like I did and pauses for a moment, you could see the gears turning in his head, âDoes this feel like just another job to you?â Dean clears his throat, suddenly jerking the car off to the left side of the road right up to the curb, the car poorly parked, âIâll be right back. I gotta go to the bathroom.â The second he finishes his sentence heâs out of the car and walking away into some local business that I couldnât quite see the name of.
âI- I donât understand himâ Sam suddenly says as he watches his brother leave, turning in the passenger seat to talk to me properly, âIt would be so much easier if he justâŠâ He sighs, âtalked to me.â
âI⊠donât want to excuse his actions because you are right, but at the same time you know he was never taught how to be vulnerable.â I try to explain, carefully choosing my words knowing there were eggshells surrounding our feet. He then mumbles something incoherently about their childhood, he looks back up at me, âyou know, you donât really talk about your childhood either.â
âMaybe itâs just something about Kansasâ I joke, he laughs lowly, âBut I ,uh, I would like to tell you about itâŠsomedayâŠâ I offer shyly, trying to offer him something in a moment where he has nothing
âIâd like that, at least I could get closer to one of youâ Sam smiles, sadly.
âHey and maybe it will open the door to encourage Dean to speak upâ I say.
âYeah you know thatâs not gonna happenâ He scuffs.
âWell, I was trying to be a little optimistic.â
When Dean came back to the car he was dead quiet, his eyes were glossy but he refused to talk. It wasnât uncommon for him, not one bit.
Sitting in the back of the Impala, I watched the buildings and trees pass by. All blocks I was familiar with even if it was far from where I had actually lived, but when you're lonely you tend to find walking for an eternity isnât so bad. Funnily enough, sitting in the back of this car felt eerily similar to when I was a child, my dad as quiet as an owl, a then changed man having lost his world. Only, he had forgotten my brother and I had lost her too, and that we were still around to begin with.
Dean stared at the road like my dad had all those years ago, so deeply as if they were to look away it would disappear right beneath them. Then Sam sat in the passenger seat looking between his brother and out the window not knowing what to say, like my brother always did. And I of course still played the same role because some things never change, some feelings never do fully leave.
Dean suddenly clears his throat, âAlright, up ahead is an old pal of dads.â Just as suddenly as he said it, he also hadnât given us time to say anything before pulling over once more, this time in front of a mechanic's place. A sign reading âGuentherâs Auto Repairâ in big red letters hung above a large garage unit. The smell of metal and grease breeze by my nose as I exit the car, following after the two taller men with what I thought was a forgotten sadness now back. I canât imagine how they must feel, how Dean must feel.
They effortlessly found and began a discussion with the owner, easily lying about being cops which felt especially wrong today. It felt wrong to lie to anyone from the town I pretty much grew up in, even if I never knew any of them.
âSo you and John Winchester, you used to own this garage together?â Dean asks the older man. I knew their father was a mechanic but hadnât known he had his own garage and partner.
âYeah, we used to, a long time ago. Matter of fact, it must be, uhâŠtwenty years since John disappeared. So why the cops interested all of a sudden?â He says, whipping his dirty hands on a rag stained with car grease.
âOh, weâre re-opening some of our unsolved cases, and the Winchester disappearance is one of âem.â Dean answers smoothly, and I guess it isnât technically a lie either. He accepts the answer with no further, visible, speculation, âOh, well, what do you wanna know about John?â
âWell, whatever you remember, you know, whatever sticks out in your mind.â Dean suggests.
âWellâŠhe was a stubborn bastard, I remember that.â He laughs. âAnd, uh, whatever the game, he hated to lose, you know? Itâs that whole Marine thing. But, oh, he sure loved Mary. And he doted on those kids.â To that I have to stop myself from reacting, for some reason I canât picture John being anything less of what he is now, in terms of strictness and toughness.
âBut that was before the fire?â Sam points out.
He nods, âThatâs right.â
âHe ever talk about that night?â Sam adds. He seems to think for a moment, âNo, not at first. I think he was in shock.â
âRight. But eventually? What did he say about it?â Sam clarifies.
âOh, he wasnât thinkinâ straight. He said somethinâ caused that fire and killed Mary.â
âHe ever say what did it?â Dean asks this time.
âNothinâ did it. It was an accident â- an electrical short in the ceiling or walls or somethinâ. I begged him to get some help, butâŠ.â He explains.
âBut what?â
âOh, he just got worse and worse.â He answered, sympathy written all over his face.
âHow?â Dean asks carefully.
âHe started readinâ these strange olâ books. He started goinâ to see this palm reader in town.â He says, suddenly catching my attention, an air of familiarity surrounding it.
âPalm reader? Uh, do you have a name?â Dean questions. I scrunch my eyebrows together trying to remember why this was familiar.
He responds at the same time it suddenly hits me, âNoâ he scuffs.
The name leaves my mouth in quiet thought, âMissouri Moseley.â
All three of them look at me strangely, before Dean grabs hold of my upper arm, throwing the man a smile and a âExcuse us.â He begins pulling me away from the garage and back to the car, his brother following after us after he had thanked the man.
âWhereâd you get that name from?â Dean asks me sternly, looking down at me with sharp curious eyes, his grip on my arm never faulting.
I look up at him, his green eyes piercing mine, expectantly, but I find myself at a loss for words. Each syllable ready to be spoken but dying on my tongue, all in the fault of once more feeling like my younger self. Sam reaches for his brother's shoulder, almost pulling him away from me, âEase up, Dean.â He shakes his brother off, but listens, releasing my arm and swallowing thickly, âSorry, I didnât mean to-â
âItâs okayâ I cut him off quickly. I wasnât scared of him at that moment, but of the past and I knew he was too. We all were.
âI remember your dad came over and mentioned that name, along with her being the real deal. I just donât remember what the conversation was about, I mean it had to be years agoâŠâ I feel my eyebrows scrunch together again as I try to recall more, glimpses of the memory popping up. Our dads sitting on the long vintage couches my mom had bought for the house while me and my brother ran outside to play, âIt was at the original house, m-maybe a year before we moved to Kansas.â
âSo three years after mom diedâ Sam nods.
âYeah that seems about right, but Iâm not sure if that encounter was like right after your dad met this Missouri or some time after.â I add
âIt sounds familiar. '' Dean breathed out before rounding the car to the trunk, digging through it before pulling out the journal. âIn Dadâs journalâŠhere, look at this.â He flips it open, handing it off to his brother, âFirst page, first sentence, read that.â
Sam takes the book, reading the sentence out loud, âI went to Missouri and I learned the truth.â
âI always thought he meant the state.â Deans shrugs.
Missouriâs house was a cute little two story place. I admire the light brown wood paneling and stained glass windows, something I knew my mom would have loved. Dean and Sam sat squished together on a small couch, all of us waiting for her to be finished with her client. I choose to stand, not only to see them both quietly fight to sit on the couch but also to slightly look around the place without wandering around.
A round faced, warm brown skinned lady with big curly hair tied back in a ponytail escorts a man out of her house, âAll right, there. Donât you worry âbout a thing. Your wife is crazy about you.â She tells him, her voice a natural soft and sweet tone, accompanied with a southern accent.
She closes the front door behind him, turning to face us, âWhew. Poor bastard. His woman is cold-banginâ the gardener.â Her sweet voice does nothing to soften her blunt statement, my eyes go wide with the comment.
âWhy didnât you tell him?â Dean asks her,
âPeople donât come here for the truth. They come for good news.â She answers simply, causing the room to fall quiet for a beat, âWell? Y/n, Sam and Dean, come on already, I ainât got all day.â She leaves the room, I follow after her only pausing when I realize the boys werenât following. I turn back towards them waving them over, they share a look before getting up and following.
âWell, lemme look at ya.â She laughs, âOh, you boys grew up handsome.â She points a finger at Dean, âAnd you were one goofy-lookinâ kid, too.â A burst of laughter slips through my lips before I can control myself, his face falls and he glares at her.
Her gaze turns to me, my laughter dying out but a permanent smile left on my face, âOh, you never lost your beautyâ She smiles.
âYou knew me when I was younger?â I ask, confused.
âWell of course, I knew your mother. Bless her soulâ She answers, only leaving me more confused âcause my mom never mentioned her and I would sure remember such a sweet and funny woman.
âWe helped each other out back thenâ, she explains, âShe would always show me pictures of you and your brother. You were always a smiley girl, itâs good to see you didnât lose that. Your mother would be glad too.â A warmth blossoms in my heart at that, my smile softens with me and it was like something I didnât even know was within was fulfilled. It was hard to find new memories of my mom when I really didnât know anyone who had known her, other than our family, to ask. Missouri hadnât given me a full in depth memory and yet, it was enough. Enough to know someone else clearly adored my mom and had seen her in the same light I did. I donât know why my mom never told us about her, but for some reason I didnât feel the need to ask.
She gives me one last smile before giving her attention to Sam, she grabs his hand, her face falling, âOh, honeyâŠIâm sorry about your girlfriend.â A wave of shock clearly passes over the boys face, âAnd your father â- heâs missinâ?â she continued.
âHowâd you know all that?â Sam asks, clearly forgetting she is a psychic.
âWell, you were just thinkinâ it just now.â She explains.
âWell, where is he? Is he okay?â Dean rapidly spews out.
She half shrugs, âI donât know.â
âDonât know? Well, youâre supposed to be a psychic, right?â He snaps back, far too hostile.
She gives him a weird look, âBoy, you see me sawinâ some bony tramp in half? You think Iâm a magician? I may be able to read thoughts and sense energies in a room, but I canât just pull facts out of thin air.â A laugh passes through my lips before I could stop myself, I nudge Dean's shoulder who glares sharply at me before turning that look to Missouri, only furthering my spits of giggles that I try to bite back.
Her demeanor changes back to gentle, âSit, please.â We listen to her, I took a seat beside Sam so that I wasnât squished between both boys. Missouri suddenly snaps at Dean, âBoy, you put your foot on my coffee table, Iâm âa whack you with a spoon!â
âI didnât do anything.â Dean argues, his voice seemingly an octave higher- like a child.
âBut you were thinkinâ about it.â She answers.
âOh, I like youâ I say through my laughter, it was quite the breath of fresh air to see someone put gruff âmacho manâ Dean in his place.
Sam gets back on topic, whipping the smile that formed on his face, âOkay. So, our dad â- when did you first meet him?â
âHe came for a reading. A few days after the fire. I just told him what was really out there in the dark. I guess you could sayâŠI drew back the curtains for him.â She responds.
âWhat about the fire? Do you know about what killed our mom?â Dean asks.
âA little. Your daddy took me to your house. He was hopinâ I could sense the echoes, the fingerprints of this thingâ She explains.
âAnd could you?â Sam asks
She shakes her head, âIâŠâ
âWhat was it?â
She answers softly, âI donât know. Oh, but it was evil.â, She pauses for a beat, âSoâŠyou think somethinâ is back in that house?â
âDefinitelyâ Sam breathes.
She shakes her head again, âI donât understand.â
âWhat?â Sam asks.
âI havenât been back inside, but Iâve been keepinâ an eye on the place, and itâs been quiet. No sudden deaths, no freak accidents. Why is it actinâ up now?â She explains.
âI donât know. But Dad going missing and Jessica dying and now this house all happening at once â- it just feels like somethingâs starting.â Sam says, eyebrows scrunched in worry.
âThatâs a comforting thought.â Dean mumbles.
~~~~~~~~~
The ride back to the Winchesters house was the light in this complex time. The entire ride Missouri lectured Dean on his driving saying he was just a little too reckless and was gonna get us all killed despite it being a generally short one. They bickered back and forth a while until Dean gave up grumbling something below his breath, causing another snap response from the woman herself.
When we finally arrived Dean quickly got out of the car before anyone else could even register being parked, I genuinely donât think I've ever seen him happy to be out of Baby. He had very obviously, and purposefully, positioned himself so that he was standing next to me away from Missouri, in fact two people away as she stood on the other side of Sammy. I searched for Dean's hand, my fingers brushed against his larger rougher hand. I clasped it gently, giving it a reassuring squeeze to hopefully ease his tension, caused by the beef he had with the nice lady that was helping us to begin with, even though I most definitely found the whole thing hilarious. Just as Sam knocked on the door I released Dean's hand, bringing both my hands to clasp in front of me. A peak of nervousness rests in my gut as I feel his gaze on me, I ignore it, focusing my eyes forward while I rock on the balls of my feet.
Jenny answers the door, her blond hair messy and clear stress present in the crinkled corner of her eyes and worry etched into her pupils. She holds her baby, Ritchie, close to her chest, âSam, Dean, Y/N. What are you doing here?â
Sam smiles at the blond, âHey, Jenny. This is our friend, Missouri.â
âIf itâs not too much trouble, we were hoping to show her the old house. You know, for old timeâs sakeâ Dean chimes in.
She scrunches her nose, âYou know, this isnât a good time. Iâm kind of busy.â
âListen, Jenny, itâs important.â Dean tries to explain before Missouri smacks him hard on the back of the head, far harder than I ever do, âOw!â He yelps, turning around swiftly towards the shorter woman, âHow did you-!â He nearly yells holding the back of his head. He looks at her with big wild eyes, his yelling coming from the fact she was able to quietly get behind Sam and I to hit him.
Missouri cuts him off, âGive the poor girl a break, canât you see sheâs upset?â She then turns to Jenny, âForgive this boy, he means well, heâs just not the sharpest tool in the shed, but hear me out.â Dean looks further stunned.
âAbout what?â Jenny asks, adjusting her hold on her kid.
âAbout this house.â Missouri answers.
âWhat are you talking about?â Jenny looks between us all, nervously.
âI think you know what Iâm talking about. You think thereâs something in this house, something that wants to hurt your family. Am I mistaken?â Missouri says.
âWho are you?â Jenny asks just above a whisper.
âWeâre people who can help, who can stop this thing. But youâre gonna have to trust us, just a little.â Missouri smiles comfortingly but even so Jenny looks unsure.
She seems to go over it in her head before finally sighing, âAlright.â
The four of us stand in Sariâs bedroom, Jenny having given us room to do what we need to while she waits downstairs with her kids. Sariâs room was a dark blue, a contrast to her pink and white furniture and toys.
âIf thereâs a dark energy around here, this room should be the center of it.â Missouri states, looking around the room carefully from where she stood.
âWhy?â Sam asks.
âThis used to be your nursery, Sam. This is where it all happened.â She answers, looking around the room. Dean pulls out his DIY EMF from the inside of his coat pocket, âThat an EMF?â Missouri asks.
âYeah.â Dean smiles smugly.
âAmateur.â Missouri says lowly, I donât know why she was targeting Dean specifically but his reaction to her was too amusing to really ponder it.
The EMF beeps frantically, âI donât know if you boys should be disappointed or relieved, but this ainât the thing that took your mom.â Missouri announces.
âWait, are you sure?â Sam asks frantically, getting a confident nod, âHow do you know?â
âIt isnât the same energy I felt the last time I was here. Itâs somethinâ different.â She answers, pausing for a beat before adding, âCan you feel it Y/N?â
My eyes widened in shock, âIâm sorry what?â
âYou still got a lot to learn âbout your abilities'' She responds waving me over, âcâmere, you might be able to sense the energy.â
I hesitantly place my bag down before slowly walking over to her, she either senses my nervousness or reads my mind because she explains what she means, âWitches tend to have the best intuition and connection to the natural world, you should be able to sense energies especially spiritual ones with a second sight.â
She situates me in front of her with my back towards her, her hands clasp my arms tightly as they rest at my side. âClose your eyes, and just like meditation let everythinâ else fall away.â
I follow her instructions, my eyes fluttering shut reluctantly. I feel incredibly silly as I take a deep breath, the sage-y perfume of the woman behind me filling my nose. I breathe out slowly, forcing my mind to shut out the real world, which isnât as hard as it should be with the quiet room and my nearly regular meditating. Complete darkness surrounds me as if the room itself had fallen away with all the people in it too, just me floating in an abyss.
I focused more closely on the house itself, extending my awareness far out to the block and then as if a dark fog hugged it I zeroed in on the house. Using my conscious self I pictured what it was like to walk through the house this time with a deep focus and new eyes.
With each step I ventured further into the house cautiously, a buzzing feeling rang through the house like when two strong magnets fight for equilibrium with a clatter. But despite the buzzing a physical warm glow emitted from the home's edges and like a hand reaching out it tried to conquer more of the house, yet it couldnât. A force I couldn't quite tell held it back. The hair on the back of my neck stood tall, a cold chill running down my spine, I shrugged it off as I walked back up the stairs and down the hall to my physical self.
My foot only breached the doorway when a dreadful feeling filled the halls as if rooted beneath the wallpaper, a twinge of fear made its home in my stomach. I had never done this before, never went into my mind to feel the very things I hunt. I have no experience here, this is not my domain. They must know that as hushed murmurs fluttered around me with voices I couldnât detect but knew they didnât belong to anyone in the room. They wouldnât be able to talk to me here so normally, maybe Missouri but certainly not Sam or Dean.
The murmurs became louder, each whisper jumbled over the next, talking over each other to the point of no recognition. My back hits the hard archway of the door's entrance, the sheer loudness of combined voices knocking me off balance. I braced myself against the door, nails biting into wood, my eyes shut tightly in effort to focus even further.
An unfamiliar cold hand brushes my forearm dragging its fingers up to my elbow as if standing beside me, I swiftly turn around backing up a few feet to see nothing near me. Another brush touches me, this time the back of my neck accompanied by a hot breath fanning by my ear. I donât move away. this is not my domain, but it will be, and I will not show fear now. Latin spews from its mouth flowing right into my ear, a simple teasing statement, âAnother toy.â
My eyes shoot open, pupils blown wide as my eyes adjust to the lighting as well as my mind being back in focus of the physical realm. My heart beats harshly against my chest, my lungs heaving with adrenaline.
A large hand clasps around my upper arm tightly, I nearly stumble back a step before my mind finally catches up with the present. âWhat is it?â Dean spews out quickly, his green eyes nearly crazed with worry.
I open my mouth to answer only to have Missouri answer for me instead, âYou saw them.â
âF-felt more likeâ I stammer the feeling of its touch still lingering.
âWhat are they doing here?â Dean asks, looking between Missouri and I for answers, his hand still on my arm. Thing is I donât have an answer, all that creepy spirit touching and I still donât know everything.
But of course Missouri does, âTheyâre here because of what happened to your family. You see, all those years ago, real evil came to you. It walked this house. That kind of evil leaves wounds. And sometimes, wounds get infected.â
âThis house buzzes with energy, literally you can feel it attracting paranormal energy. Thereâs two here right nowâŠones in the room. My head turns towards the closet, âA poltergeist. Iâm not sure if it sees it as a game or what but I think it wants Jenny and her kids dead.â I know Iâm right when Missouri nods her head.
âYou both said there was more than one spirit.â
âThere is. I just canât quite make out the second one.â Missouri answers before adding, âYou pick up anythinââ
âOnly that it feltâŠgood, if that makes sense. It was very different from the other. It was like this warmth trying to consume the house or really rid the house of its evil.â I answer by trying to make sense of everything that I have experienced.
âYouâre sure of this?â Dean asks me, gaining my attention again by squeezing my arm before finally letting go.
âYes.â I breathe simply, failing to explain that my only other hunch was the fact that it hadnât been bothering me or I suppose terrorizing me like the poltergeist had with its touching.
A hard determined look sharpens on Dean's face, âWell, one thingâs for damn sure â- nobodyâs dyinâ in this house ever again. So whatever is here, how do we stop it?â
âWeâre gonna cleanse the houseâ Missouri answers simply, âY/N, what you have in that bag of yours?â
A devilish smirk stretches itself on my face, âYou wanna do purifying bags?â I ask back instead of answering. I walk back over to my discarded bag picking it up and swinging it over my shoulder, âLetâs do this downstairs, donât want to make a mess in the kids roomâ Missouri says, answering my question without really answering it.
âCopyâ I smile, taking the lead as we exit the room. With a sudden need for my specialty I found a new pep in my step as I quickly descended the stairs beelining for the nearest table. I carefully placed my bag down on the dining room table, pulling out my spell book marked and written in along with small corked glass bottles of different roots and herbs I carry. âWhen did you put all of this in your bag?â Sam asks, picking up a vial of crossroad dirt.
âBefore I left with Dean to come get you, âcause you never know when you're gonna have to put together a spell or a potion of sortsâ I answer, pulling out a couple empty small brown pouches.
âSo youâve been carrying this âround with you this whole time?â Dean asks this time.
âMhmâ I hum as I sit getting right to work.
With a little bag in front of me I put in each âingredientâ, for lack of a better word, not needing to look at my book for the right amount in each.
âWell donât be lazy, help the girl!â Missouri lectures hitting Dean on the back of the head again. He grumbles no longer snapping back with something, he sits down next to me looking for direction.
With the feeling of his gaze on the side of my face I swirl my finger towards my spell book, a purple haze floating through the air turning the pages of my book to the right section for him to follow without me having to stop my work. He doesn't say anything as he takes off his jacket and rolls up the sleeves of his flannel, putting his forearms on display as he picks up bits of root, unfortunately catching my attention enough to pause my work and stare at him.
His eyes move from my book to the bag he was working on, his eyes sharp and focus as it passes across the words on the page. He moves his hand to the book using a finger to drag across the page underneath each word, the veins in his hand bulging as he does so. His eyebrows scrunch and his jaw ticks as he asks, âWhat is this stuff anyway?â
âThatâs angelica root your holdingâ I mentioned first, referring to the fuzzy green plant in his hand. âAnd thatâs van van oil, crossroad dirt, sageâ I point to each bottle, naming off each ingredient weâre using.
He nods as I speak, his eyes still holding the same level of focus. From his listening to the gentle touch he used as he handled each bottle, all I could feel was pure endearment. The sudden quietness in the room made me painfully aware of the fact that we were the only ones left in said room and that Missouri along with Sam had left at some point, most likely to talk to Jenny.
âWhat are we supposed to do with it?â Dean questioned, knocking his knee into mine to get my attention once more. A bashful smile breaks its way onto my face at his touch, âWe put them inside the walls of each corner of each floor of the house, north, south, east, west.â
âWeâll be punchinâ holes in the dry wall. Jennyâs gonna love that.â Dean points out.
My lips formed a tight line, cringing, âYeahâŠthis is just how this goes but to be fair some holes in the walls are better than evil spirits.â
He huffed a laugh, âAnd this will destroy the spirits?â
âIt should, it's supposed to purify the house completely, weâll probably each take a floor but we do have to work quickly because when they catch on to what weâre doing, they get seriously pissed.â I answered
âWonât they catch on with us doing it here?â
âYou would think that but spirits donât always know until itâs actually happening like when we make the holes then itâs a big deal.â I inform, tying off another bag.
âHuhâ He replies as he continues to work.
Soon silence falls upon us while we work, our arms brushing against each other every now and then.
âAre holes in drywall a hard fix?â I ask, breaking the comfortable silence, worried that the spirits wonât be the only pissed ones.
A deep chuckle passes through his lips, âThat depends, sweetheart, but it should be.â He went on to explain the logistics of it, and while it wasnât something I really cared to know about I didnât stop him from explaining.
By the time his explanation of spackles and walls was over our purifying bags were done too.
Missouri and Sam walk back into the room, the floor creaking slightly underneath them. âYou guys almost done?â Sam asked
âYupâ I hummed, âThe bags are all done just gotta finish cleaning upâ
âGood. Jenny and her kids just left, theyâll be back in an hour or twoâ Sam explained, placing a bunch of heavy items on the table. âI brought these in from the car, take your pick.â
I look up at the heavy mass, a hammer, a small ax, and two crowbars lay on the table. Though it is an odd collection of weapons as long as it is capable of making a hole in the wall it doesn't really matter, Sam picks up the hammer testing the weight of it in his hand.
With every part of the plan settled I throw the rest of the vials and leftover bags in my bag worrying about organization later, gently tucking my thick spell book into my bag I turn swiftly around, âLetâs get it done.â
âIâll take this floorâ Dean says, picking up his four bags, âSammy you take upstairs, and you two can take the basement.â
âAnd remember you need to put a bag in each corner, north, south, east, west.â I order as everyone has the right amount of bags and a weapon of choice.
A collective nod was all we needed to spring into action, with the cold heavy crowbar in my hand I took the lead down the basement Missouri following closely after me. Without any words needed, we split up her heading to the west side of the floor and me to the east.
A chill runs up my spine, an uncomfortable feeling floating in the air, I roll my shoulders trying to rid myself of the feeling. My knees hit the floor, the coldness seeping through my pants. I knock on the wall in an attempt to hear a hollow part, Dean having mentioned before that would be the easiest way to make a hole. My knuckles hit the wall in at least ten separate spots before it no longer sounds solid. I stand back up for better leverage before changing my hold on the crowbar to be horizontal, bashing the end of it into the wall repeatedly until it cracks.
A heavy sliding noise shuffles behind me, I snap my head to the sound of a large dark table moving across the floor right into Missouri. My mouth opens to scream her name in warning but just as the first syllable leaves my mouth a nail comes flying at my face. Out of reflex alone I send the nail flying to the left, the invisible force of my power altering its trajectory. My eyes follow where the nail came from, an open red tool box, more nails come flying my way and each time I knock them away. Knowing it wouldnât stop I gripped the crowbar harder using only a glimpse back at the wall to know where I was aiming for. While I used one hand and half my focus on changing the direction of the nails I used my other to slam the crowbars end into the already cracked wall but only when it sounded like it broke through enough did I glimpse back again. With another look forward at the coming nails, only one more left, I waited until it got closer, the old nail zooming toward my eye. Just as it got but an inch away I dropped to the floor, turning my body as I went, throwing the purification bag in.
I got up quickly, dropping my crowbar, almost tripping over my other foot as I ran to Missouri, pushing the table away from her, throwing another bag into the hole she had already made before she got attacked. She breathes heavily, a hand on her chest. âYou okay?â I ask, putting a hand on her shoulder and leading her away from the table. She nods her head, handing me her two bags, wordlessly telling me to finish the floor.
I grip the bags in one hand as I pick up my discarded crowbar, seeing the nails that flew at me sticking out of the walls. I head over to the undisturbed wall slamming the crowbar into the wall, not even attempting to do the knocking at this point. While I threw in the third bag, worry consumed me at the realization that the spirits must be attacking the boys too. Without wasting any more time I go to the last undisturbed wall, again slamming the crowbar into it. Call it paranoia or instinct that made me turn so that my shoulder was facing the wall instead of my face to see if another attack would be coming. Either way it was that alone that saved me from the poltergeist throwing a wooden chair at my head. I duck again just in time for the chair to smash into pieces above me, wood undoubtedly falling into my hair.
âStop throwing stuff!â I yell at the air itself or really the incredibly annoying poltergeist. With a huff I throw in the last bag, all the activity silencing on this floor. I get up walking over to Missouri as I pick out chunks of wood from my hair, as soon as I get close enough she reaches up and takes a particularly large piece of chair out of my hair showing it to me with a laugh before tossing it somewhere on the floor.
âY/N!â A voice yells with a strain, clearly coming from a distance away. Right away I recognize the voice, Deans, I go running climbing up the stairs two at a time. Forget about my hair, forget about leaving Missouri behind (no offense).
The ground floor is practically untouched other than the clear mess that is peeking out from the kitchen, I look around quickly and see no one, âDean?!â I shout back evident fear in my voice, getting an immediate âUp here.â Slight relief hits me as I again sprint up the stairs, twirling around the banister the second I reach the second floor seeing the closest open door. Forgetting about precautions I immediately approach the door, my hand on the archway when I see Dean on the floor cradling a hurt-limp Sam.
âWha-â I begin saying only to lose my train of thought.
âLetâs get him upâ Missouri suddenly says from behind me, very calmly. She nudges past me heading straight for the boys, but neither of them move. She leans down beside Sam pressing two fingers to the side of his neck, âHeâs still alive, heâll be just fine.â
He gives her a curt nod before leaning back on his feet and standing, dragging his brother up with him, just as he does so Sam comes to. His eyes fluttering open and close, âItâs okay Sammy, just gonna bring you downstairsâ Dean tells him, putting his brother's arm around his shoulder.
Carefully he walks his brother downstairs, Sam grumbling something halfway through before going limp again. Finally they reach the living room, Dean carefully lays his brother on the couch then moves to sit on the coffee table right across from him.
âHeâll be alrightâ I say softly, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder.
âI knowâ he replies.
âWere you able to finish the floor?â I ask even though maybe it wasnât the proper time to.
âNo. I was hurled with knives the second I made the hole, then I heard something upstairs and ran to see if Sammy was okayâŠI donât think he finished eitherâ He explains, his eyebrows scrunched together.
âItâs okay, iâll go finish it and you guys can stay here, watch over himâ I say, giving his shoulder a little squeeze before moving my hand away.
âAre you crazy?! Thatâs dangerous. Did you not just see what happened to Sam?!â Dean shoots back, not quite yelling but his voice is definitely louder than needed.
I smiled at him sweetly knowing this was coming from a place of worry and not an incompetent sort of deal, âDonât worry I can take care of myself just fine, I did so down stairs when we finished up. Got some nails thrown at me, a chair and a table, you know just the usual playing house with the ghost.â
âThatâs not the point. Iâm coming with you.â He stands up abruptly and I swear I saw his jaw tick.
âOkay. Iâm not gonna argue with youâ I respond with humor in my voice. âBut. If you did want to stay behind to watch your brother I wouldn't fault you for it either.â
He looks at me strangely with those beautiful green eyes before diverting them just past me, âIâm coming with you.â
âRight.â I smile ââYou got the bags?â
He answers by shuffling through his jacket pockets and pulling out a bag from each, he holds them up in an almost teasing way. I take a half step forward, grabbing a bag right out of his hand, only then realizing how close my small step puts us, having to lean my head back far enough to look up at him comfortably. But I donât move away as I ask him, âWhat about your axe?â
He tilts his head down slightly towards me, his breathe hot on my face, âDropped it in the kitchenâ
âGood.â I say, nearly and pathetically getting distracted by our closenessâŠand his eyes⊠and his lips. â âCause I have no idea where I left that crowbarâ
He laughs and steps away, his shoulder brushing mine as he walks away to the kitchen. Before I can turn to follow him Missouri meets my eyes, giving me a pointed-knowing look about what just happened. âShut upâ I playfully mouth.
Finally I turn around following after the man in question. He comes out of the kitchen holding the small axe but just behind him is a mess. The kitchen looks like a tornado went through it with draws and cabinets open, utensils on the floor, broken dishes scattered around, the table turned over with knives sticking out of it (a tornado could not do that but the point of the mess still stands.) I look back at Dean then behind him repeatedly, âDid you have fun?â I remark sarcastically.
âOh, not as much fun as you hadâ He replies gruffly, reaching up to my hair, his fingers sinking in as he ruffles out small chips of wood. My cheeks feel warm at the small contact and even more so when he pulls away and gives me that smirk. Then he walks away towards the back of the house with a cocky look in his eye like he knew exactly what he had done. I take a short deep breath before following him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few hours later every purifying bag is put in place and Sammy is conscious and now we stand in the disaster that is the kitchen, broken cabinets and chair bits on the floor as well as a collection of utensils, all just to see the bunt of the fight.
ââYou sure this is over?â Sam questions, his voice a little rough.
âIâm sure. Why? Why do you ask?â Missouri answers.
âNever mind.â He sighs, âItâs nothinâ, I guess.â
The front door opens followed by footsteps, âHello? Weâre home.â Jenny calls out before finding us in the kitchen pure shock written on her face, âWhat happened?â
âHi, sorry. Um, weâll pay for all of this.â Sam word vomits, the words spilling out quickly and anxiously. Both Dean and Iâs heads snap towards him, I seriously want to ask him âwith what money???â But before anyone can fathom a word Missouri beat us to it, âDonât you worry. Deanâs gonna clean up this mess.â Again with her (maybe) uncalled targeting I have to bite back a smirk, meanwhile Dean stands unmoving his eyebrows scrunched looking at the shorter woman with a total bewildered expression.
âWell, what are you waiting for, boy? Get the mop.â She adds, and I donât know how she has this much power but he listens and begins to walk away or really shuffle away, âAnd donât cuss at me!â She lectures.
Laughter slips through my lips as he mutters under his breath, Sam joining in on the hilarious nature that is his brother being bossed around.
Wiping a tear out of the corner of my eye I touch Samâs shoulder, âIâm gonna go get him and fix this upâŠâ I twirl my finger slightly to signal I mean magically, âBring Jenny inside somewhere.â He nods, âOkay but you should really let him sufferâ
I laugh again, rolling my eyes as I move away.
I find Dean standing in front of a broom closet trying to balance several cleaning objects in his hands at once. I admire his effort but thereâs just no way anyone could clean that kitchen when itâs quite literally just destroyed. I grabbed a broom from him that was seconds away from falling, âNot to ruin your fun but I figured it would be easier to use magic on the kitchen than a mop.â
âThank godâ He sighs, shoving everything back in the closet including the broom I held.
Back in the kitchen I try not to get stressed at just how bad it is. Taking a calming breath I walk over to the kitchen counters, closing my eyes, I feel my hair move around me slightly from a small drift in the room, my body stands completely still as I let my hands feel the cool counter below me and the steadiness of it all. As my body relaxes and my shoulders drop, relieving its tension I become a conduit for magic, a dance of ethereal threads weaving through me. The energy flowed from my core to my fingertips, the flow gracefully extending to every nook and cranny. As if tracing an intricate pattern, it embraced the room, coaxing broken shards and scattered pieces back into harmony. The air felt electric with the essence of restoration, and the kitchen hummed with the soothing melody of enchantment.
When I open my eyes again, I feel a gaze on me. I turn my whole body, so that I was standing sideways, to it and of course itâs Dean, he meets my eyes, his mouth just slightly agape and I can only imagine what the swirling of purple energy around the room fixing items must have looked like. His green eyes are slightly glossy with what is maybe curiousity or amazement, either way it was a weird look. Before I could question him I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a tall familiar figure. Sam stands by the kitchen archway waving his hand, signaling it was time to go.
Hours later darkness consumes the Impala. After dropping Missouri back home Sam insisted we came back to the house for a stakeout. It was hard to argue with someone who had a bad feeling over something that is quite literally life or death, so we stayed. Weâd been in here so long in fact that Iâd taken to lying down flat in the backseat, my legs propped up on the seats (shoes off so Dean wouldnât complain but at least I got to showcase my cute dragonfly socks).
I stare up at the beige-ish interior roof, my hands laying across my chest. I breathe in and out evenly, but with the prospect of being bored, memories of my life here swarm my head and suddenly I miss my mom more than I've had in a long time. If I focus hard enough on the roof I can still hear the remnants of her laughter and I could see her smile, the one I inherited, on her soft face. That old longing, that old sadness that I thought I was over fills my heart, its hands creep up on it clasping it tightly. Itâs been years. So many years since sheâs been gone and yet still this feelingâthis rawness in my chest, this endless longing is home in my body just as it was the first time around.
I miss my mom.
I want to cry and I want her back, tears threaten my eyes and that stupid tightness in my throat prevails almost like itâs choking me, a tightness thatâs so painful I want to rip my throat out. I swallow forcefully, I hate this feeling and I hate death and I hate that I'm feeling this in the back of the car with my best friends just right up front. Itâs too vulnerable, itâs too open, too close to homeâŠI want to go home.
I want to go home.
I shut my eyes tightly trying to erase these feelings to move them back in the dusty box they had sat in. But it isnât that easy and I know it isnât so instead I breathe deeply and choose to listen to Dean and Sam talk, focusing on the up and down of their words and the softness of each syllable.
âAll right, so, tell me again, what are we still doinâ here?â Dean asks, impatience clear on his tongue.
âI donât know. I justâŠâ Sam sighs, ââŠstill have a bad feeling.â
âWhy? Missouri did her whole Zelda Rubenstein thing, the house should be clean, it should be over.â Dean explains.
âYeah, well, probably. But I just wanna make sure, thatâs all.â Sam answers.
âYeah, well, problem is I could be sleeping in a bed right now.â Dean responds and I hear him slide down his seat, probably closing his eyes in the process, âLike Y/N back thereâ he adds, softer, and even with my eyes closed a smile produces itself on my face. The small warmth that spreads in my chest fends off the grief, at least enough for it not to be at the forefront of my mind.
The quiet peace that falls over the Impala is short lived, Sam suddenly yelling, âGuys. Lookâ My eyes shoot open, âDean!â He hits his brother's shoulder.
I sit up quickly catching a glimpse of Jenny yelling by her window, with nothing more to be said- we jump out of the car. I shuffled to the car door, leaving my shoes behind, the second Iâm out and the door is slammed shut I run after the boys who were only two paces ahead. âYou two grab the kids, Iâll get Jenny.â Dean commands as Sam tries the door which of course is locked. Dean pushes him slightly to the side, he takes a step back lifting his leg and kicking in the door. Broken pieces of wood stick out from the side of it.
The dark wooden floors are cold beneath my sock-covered feet, each step up the staircase seems far too long even as we reach the top. At the top Dean stops at a door close to the stairs but I donât use any more focus to take anything else as Sam and I run down the hall, âGet Sari! Iâll get the baby!â I yell after him. Stopping at the closest door I swing it open only to reveal a bathroom, I curse underneath my breath before spinning around to the door right across the hall. Once more I swing it open, this time revealing a baby room with a white crib in the middle of it. I rush over only slowing to not scare Richie as I approach, somehow heâs still asleep wrapped up in his little blanket.
Carefully I reach in the crib scooping him up from underneath his upper back, my other arm going for his legs. Once in my arms I rearrange him so my dominant hand rests on his lower back while the crook of my other arm cradles his little head, just like holding a baby doll except this one is way cuter and also very alive. Standing back at my full height I fix his blanket around him before exiting the room. I know Sam can handle himself so I head towards the stairs, the baby had to be the priority right now. I quickly descend the stairs, only half way down when I feel Sam close behind, a relief hitting me.
My feet only just hit the ground level when Sam calls my name, swiftly I turn towards him Sari in his arms.
âY/N, you need to take the kids and go outside.â He orders, placing Sari on the floor.
âOkay, what about you arenât you coming?â I rushed out, cradling Richie in one arm so I could take hold of Sariâs hand.
Panic is written all over his face and something else lies in his eyes, âTake them. Donât look backâ And before I can argue any further heâs nudging me forward, reluctantly I go only because I know I canât help with two kids in my arms. I run towards the door at this point, pulling Sari along with me, just behind me I hear a slam to the floor and I know itâs Sam- relief gone. But even so I rush forward.
The chill breeze of the night hits me hard. Jenny and Dean stand on the edge of the grass line. Only a few paces from them Sari lets go of my hand and runs to her mom, Jenny leaning down to catch her and hold her tightly. âSamâs inside you have to go nowâ I speak quickly, my words jumbling over itself. Dean's eyes widen and pure fear fills them, on top of being scared guilt fills me now too. He runs to the front door and I hear it slam loudly. I hand Richie back over to his mom who is very obviously relieved to have him again.
Dean runs back to the Impala pulling out a shotgun and an ax, going right back to the door. I know I could open the door for him, it would be easy and I wouldnât even break a sweat. Yet, my feet remain planted to the grown, the chaos of it allâthe guilt. My purifying bags didnât work, it nearly got a whole family killed and Samâs now in trouble too. Itâs my fault. Itâs my fault.
My feet wonât move, my body wonât react, I can't even redeem myself. I donât want to lose anyone else, I donât want to. I canât.
Move.
Move. Please move, I beg myselfâ my very being to do something anything but be helpless. I hate being helpless and yet Iâm here doing nothing, anxiety and fear encasing me to this spot. I hear Dean hacking away at the door, faint grunts leaving his mouth as he does so but still I canât move. Sari begins to cry latching on to her moms legs only waking up Ritchie in the process who then begins to cry too. The loud crying rings in my ears, only making my heart beat faster.
Jenny, visibly overwhelmed, wrestles with the challenge of consoling both kids, her distress mirrored in her eyes. Without conscious thought, my arms extend, offering to hold Ritchie. To my surprise, she entrusts the baby to me, planting a tender kiss on his forehead before gathering Sari into her embrace. Sari's legs encircle her mother's waist, a protective hand cradling the back of her head.
Richie moving in my arms breaks me out of my panic, if only because someone in need was right there, someone who surely couldnât help themselves. I begin to rock him, moving my weight from one foot to another but my stress and worry is still there and he must feel it too because it does barely anything to help. I look back up, Dean is still hacking away at the door, not enough progress has been made. I rearrange the baby, using my free arm I lift up a hand my palm facing towards the direction of the door, with barely any thought needed the door slams open. Dean looks back at me for only a second before running in.
Richie's cries persist as I rock him, murmuring reassurances, "It's okay, everything will be okay." I desperately rack my mind for any calming measures, when I suddenly recall my mother singing me lullabies. But still I struggle to remember any of them, the memory too distant to be anything more than a hymn, instead I decide to softly sing "A Lullaby" by Dear Nora â even though it came out way after my mothers passing it always reminded me of her. And I had always kept a small hope that one day if I were to have kids that I would sing it to them too.
As I move a strand of hair from Richie's face, he begins to settle. My voice trembles with fear, but it seems to have a soothing effect anyways. Richie stops crying, and I meet Jenny's gaze. She offers a sad smile while holding her daughter close.
Both boys came out of that house. Relief had hit me like a ton of bricks, my knees felt wobbly with it. At first they could barely speak, shocked at what they saw but then the police and firefighters came and it was all the usual.
It was hours later until everything was resolved, and it wasnât until Missouri came over that they actually spilt what happened. Their mom was there, she was the good spirit that I had felt, the one that was fighting off the evil and she did exactly that when it had attacked Sam. Somehow, she was still at the house after all these years protecting it. She had used the last of her abilities to sayâŠsorry.
Itâs morning now, Missouri cleared the house for real this time no spirit was left in there. The kids were sleeping still, Jenny was giving the photos she found to Dean and Sam sat with Missouri on the steps talking.
I had nothing to say to anyone in particular so I sat in the Impala, my legs outside the car, digging through my bag, when I finally pulled out my spell book I turned to the purifying page, I looked it over again trying to see if we did something wrong and messed up the amounts. But no. We did it right, but for some reason it didnât workâit didnât work and people could have died. Holding the book on my lap I reach up to the top of it, my hand holding the single page ready to tear it out when itâs suddenly taken from my grasp âHey, what are you doing?!â Dean yells, holding it out of reach.
âIt didnât work. It needs to go, please give it back.â I answered, my jaw clenched.
âThis was your moms, youâd hate yourself if you ripped it up.â Dean lectures.
âNo I wouldn't, give it back. I need to make sure this never happens again.â I shoot up from my seat reaching up to grab it back but his arm shoots down behind his back.
âYeah, you would. Sorry to break it to you sweetheart but I know you pretty damn well.â
I donât care if heâs right. I donât. That page needs to go, I canât make this mistake again. I wonât. I reach for it again behind his back but again he moves it, âDean. Iâm not joking around give it back.â I donât often get angry, but I am.
He looks down at me, his eyes scrunched in confusion and concern, âWhatâs going on with you?â
I huff, frustrated, âWhatâs going on is I messed up. Badly. They could have died and donât try to say I donât know that for sure because I do. And I know you do too, so I donât need any comforting liesâ
"We screw up, sweetheart. It's part of the gig. But we fixed it. They're alive and kickin', okay?" His words carried that gruff reassurance he always had, even when he was being a bit of a hypocrite. Book at his side, guard lowered just a bit, it was my chance to snag it back. "Not this," I jabbed a finger at the book. "I'm good at this. I don't mess up on this."
"I don't care that you're all emotional right now. You're not trashing your spell book." Arms crossed in front of his chest, he held his ground.
My chest heaved, my eyes scrunched in frustration as I looked up at him, my free hand in a tight fist my nails digging into my palm. âBut, it needs toââ I say back, weakly, already my fight was crumbling, being replaced with something else. Suddenly his arms were around me and my face was buried in his chest. His arms held my upper back tightly, his hands going up to cup my head, his fingers entangled into my hair a little while his chin rested on top of my head. With each breath I took, inhaling his smell of something woody and some sort of spice mixed into one, any resolve I had left was gone.
I wanted to keep fighting, I wanted to tell him he was wrong but he held me so close and so gentle that I couldnât. If that in itself had made me weak then so be it. I wrap my arms around his center, even with my book in my hand. It had to be seconds later when he must have felt the tension leaving my shoulders when he pulled away, his hands dropped down to the crook of my arm holding me a short distance away. His green eyes locked with mine in a silent agreement.
I pull away fully when Sam and Missouri approach, quickly whipping my eyes just in case and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. We each exchange hugs with her, even Dean who surprisingly gets no comment this time.
Missouri smiles, âDonât you be strangers.â
âWe wonât.â Dean nods as he rounds the car.
#fanfiction#supernatural#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#sam winchester#john winchester#slow burn#witch reader#witchcraft#romance#the hunter and the witch#banter#childhood home#supernatural x reader#dean winchester x f!reader#dean winchester x witch reader#dean winchester x you#lore#witch lore#light angst#dead parents#winchester x reader#supernatural season 1#supernatural fanfiction#writing
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Your own house
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đȘ đŹđŻđ°đž đșđ°đ¶'đłđŠ đŻđ°đ” đ”đ©đŠđłđŠ đąđŻđșđźđ°đłđŠ
(single layer)
#my art#painting#still life#window#childhood home#nostalgia#grandmother#grandmother's house#grandma's house#family photos#study#art study#painting study#autumn#fall
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It was sunday when you asked me why I hate our hometown. "What even is here?" I didn't tell you it was not the place, it was what she gave others but refused me. It was the years of unlived childhood, it was the pretty girl with her group of friends who never made her feel excluded, it was her boyfriend who made her feel like his first choice. It was the little kid in the park who was close to her family, it was the classmates who had multiple subjects they loved and who had their dreams figured out, it was all the people who were so much smarter and it was how she seemed to make them all happy and just not me, never me.
#dark academia#quotes#love#poetry#light academia#original poem#dark academia literature#life#classic literature#love quotes#childhood home#hometown
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"But I think I was also holding on to the loss, to the emptiness of the house itself, as though to affirm that it was better to be alone than to be stuck with people who were supposed to love you, yet couldnât."
Ottessa Moshfegh "My Year of Rest and Relaxation"
#aesthetic#books and reading#dark academia#dark academia quotes#relatable#book quotes#bookblr#academia#booklover#books#loss#emptiness#childhood home#unloved#ottessa moshfegh#my year of rest and relaxation#classic academia#light academia
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I shouldn't have agreed to come here. They are killing parts of my childhood one by one.
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Childhood home maintained by my two 82 and 84 years old parents. Half an hour from Montreal, Quebec. It was as nice as that when I was growing up. There is a stream we would follow as kids all the way to the downtown of the town.
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Like this post if you live in your childhood home
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đ¶Don't go back to our old place it's probably locked up anyway. Bet it still looks looks the same as when I ran away that dayđ¶
#this very specially reminds me of my gg's house#i miss being a little girl and grating cheese for her#aesthetic#nostaliga#nostalgic#nostalgia#nostaligiacore#2000s#2000s childhood#childhood memories#sad childhood#childhood home#inner child
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I was in my childhood home in my kid body and outside the house were all the evil trains from Thomas and Friends. They were all huge and the porch to my house was 500 feet of the ground and I was looking down on them. I am now afraid of both those trains and heights.
#dream#childhood home#childhood#time travel#house#train#evil#evil train#thomas and friends#horror#nightmare#afraid#fear#fear of heights
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I want to go home
but I have no home
#life#poets cafe#poets corner#poemsbyme#poetsclub#my art#poem#poems on tumblr#poets on tumblr#poetry#spilled thoughts#spilled ink#spilled poetry#spilled words#spilled writing#i donât consider my house my home#childhood home#home#home invasion#i'm sad#sad thoughts#sadgirl#sad poem#sad poetry#sad but true#that's depressing#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#sorry for being depressing#depressiv
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