#Childfree women are women too

[letters-of-libertas]

I'm bi and yeah your note on women not having solidarity seems sadly true. Apart from not dating men would there be anything you would suggest to improve ones life apart from stating away from those women if possible?

I love this question because this is how to start thinking: being practical.

What it takes to "improve ones life" is subjective so with that said firstly define what a better life(style) for yourself away from moids would look like. Temporarily mentally remove xy terrorist existence. What would your habits/routine be? What would you work towards & pour your energy into? What would you want to be? What would you center your life around? Take your time with these questions or anymore that come up. Have a general idea then be more specific and start breaking your life down into sectors/sections/areas, then look at where you want to be in those areas and work towards it.

For example; I divide my life into 6-7 aspects:

Physical Strength - Not just about muscle but knowing how to fight, where to hit and when to fight. Being stronger makes it easier to defend yourself in altercations (especially with other women). Some mfs will try you & you cant always rely on others coming to your rescue. Also work on building stamina to help endurance, and keeping as healthy as possible.

Emotional Strength - If you cant control your emotions they will control you. In a world of chaos being emotionally strong will let you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters. Building emotional strength is not easy but it's worth it. Being able to rise above immediate reactions and pace yourself will allow you to assess situations more rationally & make more beneficial choices.

Finances - Get your bag up. Having money to gain resources is imperative to quality of life. I dont care what anyone says having a certain amount of money in life WILL make you happier as you're able to meet your needs better. Having more money/resources also makes it easier to support other women should you choose to do so, it also allows you to be more influential and have more control over your life. However, dont become a slave to getting money tho because that's how you get scammed.

Network - The type of people you hang around can make or break who you are as a person. Aim to connect with likeminded women who will encourage & inspire you as you go on this journey. Hang around people that value & will be honest with you while giving you grace. Not all women you engage with have to be single & childfree but beware the moid crazy ones because they will bring danger to you in their quest for maIe validation. Life isn't perfect but you cant go wrong having the right people around you, valuable relationships are hard to find but it goes a long way even if it's just online. However, no company > bad company.

Spirituality/Guide - Having something bigger than yourself to guide you through the chaos in this world can offer guidance/purpose that keeps you grounded & focused. For many people generally this is religion/god. Not everyone needs or ascribes to religion/spirituality though, but at least consider sets of morals/beliefs to follow. However even that isn't for everyone. So if you feel better off without spirituality or a 'higher' guide at least be clear on it & your reasons why (for yourself).

Hobbies & Interests - As turbulent as the world is, find things to enjoy amidst the chaos. Constant work, doom, and gloom will not change anything you will only hurt yourself. Take time to indulge in things that make you happy to recharge & relax. Engage in hobbies that serve you, share your passion with other women & hear theirs out too. It goes a long way in terms of mental health.

Security - It takes privilege to decide to not get married or have children as a woman & live it out. Everyone's situation is different so what I'll generally suggest is to constantly look into how you can protect yourself, have backup methods, and stay in the loop of xy predation. Dont drown in it but moids are predators & being completely blind to them is being blind to danger. Elaborated on point 10 here.

Sounds like a lot? Great, it'll keep you busy because this isn't a vacation or destination but a lifestyle. And to be honest, some of y'all can do with the busyness as it'll let you focus on what actually matters. This not to say to overwhelm yourself in things for the sake of it but to prioritise your energy on effective things for your life. As you focus on building you'll find that you have less energy to care about insignificant stuff or stuff out of your control anyways. For example, Instead of getting wound up about user somerandomadjectivefem stirring discourse calling you an extremist or whining about how impossible it is for her & other women to live without romantic love n' whatnot (or even women irl pulling this crap), you either ignore or quickly shut down the conversation & swiftly move on.

Everything I've mentioned are just examples, you may feel differently do whatever you feel best applies. Also remember to enjoy the process along the way as you are living through it afterall :3

Long story short: Work on building resources & other aspects of your life up for yourself.

[stormyrainyday]

no literally this

i never, ever want kids but that's because i know that i do not have it in me to be responsible for them for their whole lives and raise them with minimal trauma. i hate the idea of sacrificing so much of my life and my income for a kid. i know myself enough to know that kids of my own would only make me tired, bitter, and resentful.

but other peoples' kids? i love them. they're sweet and curious and bring so much joy even if tiring and overwhelming sometimes. but the key word is sometimes. they are not my permanent emotional, physical, and financial responsibility.

people online talk so much about hating babies and kids but in "the meatspace" people LOVE babies. hang out with a baby and you will see so many people staring at you with big smiles and waving at you and going "that baby is SO cute" and generally being pleasant unprompted. the lady at the vietnamese place just now gave us like three extra soup spoons because my niece loves those spoons but kept dropping them on the floor and the lady kept giving us more with a massive smile on her face. on our walk today a bunch of construction guys waved and grinned at her the whole time we walked by, and when we passed by an elementary school a little girl said "your baby's really sweet!" babies are not balls of irritation and hatred they are beacons of joy and kindness actually and they bring out the best in strangers. whenever im out with her we have multiple positive interactions with strangers who are so happy to see her. or maybe it's just that my baby niece is the cutest most wonderful baby in the world :]

[pansunset]

reddit reccomend me a sub almost as bad as r/childfree gamers.

[moonlitfool]

.

[toxicanonymity]

I want you to know I love and care about y'all and am deeply sorry and disturbed about how the u.s. election turned out.

I love those of you who are immigrants, trans, POC, non-binary, gender fluid, gay, bi, pan, two-spirit, gender nonconforming, intersex, disabled, unhoused, struggling with addiction, mental health, bad home life, abuse, SA survivors, childfree, women, people who can get pregnant, and anyone who doesn't fit sick fascist ideals. And I Iove all of you who love them. You're all special and I value you.

We have 2.5 months until inauguration. I understand the sense of dread, and I feel it too. Even if I don't feel hopeful, I'm staying open to the possibility of hope. We need it. Maybe we need anger, too. These things can coexist.

abortion resources

Let's be kind to ourselves rn. You deserve kindness. No judgment if you have a history of self destructive behavior. I've been there. Terrible events don't have to derail us. We persist in spite of them. I'm proud of you for hanging in there and finding healthy ways to cope right now.

I always want this blog to be a safe space. I block liberally. I won't allow judgmental comments on posts or debate in my asks.

Need an appearance from your favorite morally dubious or murderous man? I will be open to requests for blurbs/microfics. Update: See pinned post for the fics.

[grimm-the-tiger]

The TERFs are pulling an awful lot of pissing on the poor in the notes. And I thought my reading comprehension was bad.

I just realized: TERFs must fucking HATE child-free women with a PASSION. They're always going on and on about how surgery for trans men is "mutilation" and how they're throwing away perfectly good and useful and "beautiful" organs for something they view as a toxic ideology at best and an outright cult at worst. Meanwhile, from my experience, most CF women want to be sterilized, either for ideological reasons (*cough, anti-natalists, cough*) or as a preventative to ensure our choice is respected. So not only do we want to "mutilate" our reproductive organs, but we also spit in the face of their warped idea of feminism just for not wanting kids. They put so much power in biological determinism that anything that breaks that mold is abhorrent to them, be it people who change their gender and gender expression or people who refuse to play into or lack the biological "need" for children.

EDIT: Wow, this post hasn't even been up for a day and the radfems have already found it. Going through the stuff they've said, I now realize that they don't, in fact, hate childfree women because they have some truly impressive double standards.

[ihateliterature]

Ok guys, after a lot of reasearch I have compiled a comprehensive list of what trans men and mascs are NOT allowed to do so we don't offend anyone

Here it is:

Transition

Not transition

Date queer men

Date non-queer men

Date queer women

Date non-queer women

Be attracted to men

Be attracted to women

Be feminine

Be masculine

Date trans people

Speak in general

Breath anywhere near a woman

Do anything

Do nothing

Be helpless

Be in queer spaces where there are women

Be in queer spaces where there are men

Have a vagina anywhere near a cis gay man

Be attractive to a terf

Be unattractive to a terf

Have top surgery

Not have top surgery

Consume mlm content

Consume wlm content

Consume wlw content

Headcanon characters as trans men/mascs

Give male characters vaginas

Have colored hair

Having a name that's too common

Having a name that's too uncommon

Be capable of menstruation

Be capable of carrying a birthing a child

Need an abortion

Remove your capability for menstruation and birth

Willingly have a child

Be childfree

Realize you are trans before puberty

Realize you are trans during puberty

Realize you are trans as an adult

Have long hair

Have short hair

Not throw away every feminine coded thing you own as soon as you realize you are trans

Go through corrective rape at the hands of a man

Go through corrective rape at the hands of a woman

Be oppreased

Experience transphobia

Claim afab people who lived long ago and lived their entire lives as men could have actually been trans

Claim you have any history before Tumblr

Take T

Not take T

Pass perfectly

Not pass perfectly

Claim the transphobia you experience is in some way connected to your masculinity and gender identity as a man or man aligned

Try to coin a term for the specific prejudice you experience

Claim that something someone who is not a trans man or masc said about trans men and mascs is wrong and correcting them

Claim that you have been, in any way, treated badly for your masculinity

[marzipanandminutiae]

horror movie where the protagonists assume the creepy, slightly goth woman with the antique doll collection is the killer-

-only to learn that she's completely normal, she's actually married to the woman who owns the spooky bookstore full of Exposition, and the killer is the true crime vlogger who "tipped them off" about her in the first place. he ran out of interesting murders to mine for content, so he decided to create the perfect crime spree with the perfect killer

(she is also either happily childfree OR pregnant with the couple's first baby, but either way it must be stated onscreen. too often in movies- and real life! -doll collecting has been assumed to relate somehow to children or lack thereof, for women)

[butch-reidentified]

as you can see, reblogs and replies are now turned off for this mind-numbingly braindead post, but I couldn't resist sharing some of the batshit content in the notes.

typing in color so it's easier to tell my commentary apart from the screenshots

radfems are insane because... we think "all women matter" doesn't include males. incredible insight. I also love "leave my sisters alone. and leave me and my brothers alone, fuckers," as if that's the direction the harassment is typically occuring in. as if radfems are hunting trans people for sport simply by not believing in or supporting the gender construct. yes. we are clearly the insane party here.

more evidence we're the insane ones, as this person claims men aren't an oppressor class and that somehow believing that they are will lead to... believing butch lesbians are an oppressor 💀 this is your brain on gender - completely unable to even consider sex, only "masc presentation," which is how they come to the batshit conclusion that acknowledging men are an oppressor class will ultimately come to include butch lesbians.

... girl. what.

however........ there's one reblog that really stands above all others. It is so long and so unhinged that it surpasses tumblr's image cap, so I'm going to have to do a part 2 of this post. but here's a sneak peek:

Gender worshippers learn what gender essentialism & bioessentialism actually mean challenge: impossible

Seriously. Y'all loooove redefining shit so much, but these terms were created for specific reasons and you can't just rewrite any word or term you want to suit your beliefs. Gender essentialism refers to the commonly held belief that gendered traits are biologically determined by sex rather than learned. The idea that women are "naturally" or "biologically" homemakers, more nurturing, less confrontational, and more emotional, that little girls "naturally" or "biologically" prefer dolls over toy trucks, that women "naturally" or "biologically" feel driven to have babies and there's no such thing as a happy childfree woman, that sex is inherently more emotional and meaningful for women, that men are more logical, better at STEM subjects, better drivers, that it's "natural" for men to cheat but not for women to, that men are "naturally" or "biologically" more aggressive, that paintball and Call of Duty are naturally "for boys," and a thousand other ridiculous things way too many people believe.

But oh shit, what's that? The people who really started fighting back against gender essentialism and arguing that gender is a social construct were... second wave feminists???!!! the very movement radical feminism is born from and shares most of its tenets with???!!! it's... it's almost like... radfems are the literal opposite of essentialists 😱

Meanwhile, today's trans community will tell gender-nonconforming people they're "eggs" and "totally going to come out as trans any day now" while simultaneously claiming not to define gender by stereotypes 🤡 like, OK...

check notes for Part 2!

[radioactivewisdom]

The village cannot coexist alongside the nuclear family. Women often talk about how lonely being a wife and mother is, but that’s exactly the point. Isolation IS the purpose. Seclude two emotionally disturbed adults who will then groom their own children into being just like them. Parents are the first to snap at you “don’t tell me how to raise my kids!” Okay, then don’t expect me to help because all you really want is a free babysitter, and not just for the kids.

Single and childfree women face the most pressure to “help” families. In other words, be the heterosexually inspired breeding programs clean up crew. When mommy and daddy need to blow off steam they get to berate you. Legitimate involvement from villagers begins before children get here. They’d get to say “you’re in an unhealthy relationship and have no business bringing children into it” or “you’re already overwhelmed with one, don’t get pregnant again.” How well do you think that will go over? Even more so, you need to contribute more than having offspring. When was the last time a complaining set of parents cooked dinner for their aging neighbor? What about driving a sick coworker to a doctor’s appointment?

People, especially women are known for abandoning all others the moment they catch feelings. Once it’s legally binding and babies are born, you hardly see them again. This is yet another ploy to extract emotional labor from women. Which apparently is a major problem due to patriarchy, except when women do it to each other. The way coupled women feel as if they’re unappreciated and taken advantage of, is a single woman’s reality on all fronts. This world is already set up to benefit the nuclear family. Tax brakes and social validation aren’t enough. They should be able to have as many children as they want, regardless of the circumstances, and never struggle a day in their lives.

Raising children is hard when doing so on a planet filled to capacity with dumb degenerates, but whose fault is that? Generation after generation have done the same, have sex and reproduce without abandon, then scream about the consequences. The world is a scary place for children because of the families they’re born into. I’m not going to pitch in so a spineless mother can sign her daughter up for the same fate.

Family life is going exactly as planned, your happiness is supposed to come from filling a quota. Any other expectations came from your imagination. Marriage and reproduction have never been about romance and love. It’s about keeping up the flow of new bodies for political purposes, aka, natalism. If mommy and daddy need help, they can go to those just like themselves. Too bad the mythos of selflessness after parenthood is inaccurate, and they’d rather pop out another kid than help one that isn’t theirs.

All family units are out for themselves first, they admit this. They’re all after our planets limited resources and don’t seem to keen on sharing. Otherwise they’d already be attempting communal living and offering their help to each other free of cost. Why not split up the domestic duties equally instead of wasting time chastising women who freed themselves? If you want my help it’s going to come in the form of honesty. Until then, keep holding each other hostage under the guise of “family.” We all know what happened to women in the past who didn’t comply. The village serves one purpose, control.

[zenwannabe]

i low-key hate how childfree content online so often focuses on expensive vacations, meals, homes, etc as the main perk/point of not having kids. Like i’m not saying these things are wrong exactly but overly prioritizing American consumerism is gonna leave us empty. Humans generally find meaning in love/sacrifice/connection more anything else BUT kids are not the only way to experience those things (!!!)

we only have so much emotional bandwidth and time, right? as a childless person i am able to have more energy to devote to my friends and family and community than somebody with toddlers at home. i can babysit for a friend in a pinch because i don’t have a sick kid at home myself. i can volunteer at the women’s shelter after work because i’m not coaching rec basketball. i can adopt a dog that’s about to be euthanized because i don’t have to worry about that dog eating my kid. i can drop everything and go take care of a depressed friend in another state. the list goes on.

i’m not saying that childfree people have to like, atone for not having children by being extra do-gooding. but i do think not having children is an opportunity to do a lot of good in the world in a way that parents just can’t (because they are busy raising the next generation of humans which is also important!!). i think the decision to abstain from parenthood can be seen as a loving commitment to the world and humanity at large. but also yeah vacations are pretty cool too.

[blackpilljesus]

I've not dated or had close relations with moids in years. I've been on the path to spending the rest of my days as a single childfree woman & committing to it as an osawoman. During this time here's what I've learnt, shorter version here:

This lifestyle is a privilege - being able to exist without having to directly depend on a moid romantically/sexually is a luxury. Know the privilege you have and how you can take full advantage of it and keep yourself set. We arent living this way solely bc we're smarter, we were just momentarily luckier. Most women are a political/natural disaster away from losing everything. Bear this in mind; along the way think of "what if" to best start preparing yourself.

Dont bother justifying your ways to people - Most wont and dont want to get it. Save your breath. By getting into back and forth arguments over not marrying moids & not having children you are digging a deeper hole for yourself by giving them more fodder to counter. They wont change their minds. End the conversation short & move on.

You cant save everybody - Ditch the saviour complex. We all get dealt bad hands in life; some worse than others. Other peoples lives arent your responsibility, there's only so much you can do because you've got your own issues too. Besides some are too far gone, you'll only end up drowning or being burned trying to save others especially if they dont want saving.

Recruitment is a waste of time - I often see extensive discourse around this topic w/ some women trying so hard to recruit others into this lifestyle or being separatists, wgtow, etc. All this does is waste time that can be spent on building instead. If some women dont get it oh well it's not the end of the world (although every woman does get it, they're just doing what they can t survive) it doesn't matter long term TO YOU because if you're serious you dont need other womens understanding/stamp of approval to build a network/resources for women; you can get started without them; heck some may join once they see the value like how so many women broke up with their partners after watching the barbie movie. Some women are more focused on recruitment than living the single childfree life they claim to be about and it consumes them - dont let recruitment consume you. Besides other women willingly engaging with moids buys you some time; those who know - know.

Most activism is a waste of time. Things only change when it benefits those in power but they will never relinquish their power entirely. It's great to put knowledge out there for others to learn but getting into discourse having to justify yourself & being swallowed by your activism will do more harm than good. Most activism is a stepping stone at most for the next chapter of your life. Learn to game the system instead of changing the system.

Focus on yourself. Everything as we know it is rooted in the system that has been perfected over the millenias. The problems of misogyny, racism, ableism, etc have existed before we were born and will exist after we die (part of why im not birthing into this mess). Trying to change it is a losing battle. This doesnt mean dont advocate or care about anything but look out for yourself first & be comfortable learning to existing between the cracks. It'll be quite the exercise tho as we've been socialised to prioritise others.

This is not a lifestyle one simply chooses it's something that chooses you. This isn't for everyone, those who know; know. If you require a lot of convincing or handholding then it isn't for you.

It gets lonely. Not because of not having a moidfriend; even when partnered with them many women still feel lonely. It's because most women are moid centric / obsessed and would want to be partnered with an xy someday or already are. Very few women truly commit to or understand this lifestyle irl tbh. Even my moots who are separatists or just single & childfree are halfway across the world. However that said, many women in the community can also be toxic; holding each other to high standards and there being constant bickering. You can befriend moid partnered women but be careful with them. We're surrounded by the system, existing out of core elements of it will come with a degree of isolation but on the bright side there's also peace if it all goes well.

Less is more. The less you say to others the less ammunition they have to hit you with. Bragging about this lifestyle to our predators will only make things harder because they've already got a huge upperhand. Too many of us moving in one go will bring unprecedented waves we're not ready to deal with. See 2, 3, and 4.

Ignorance is not bliss. Completely cutting off from xys including knowledge of their evil will make you unprepared should a threat strike. Not understanding moids nature is how some women think things are as easy as getting up and walking away without considering security & other factors then get suprised when moids strike. I'm not saying drown in true crime & xy evil but dont stray too far you lose touch of reality. Side note this is why women are gaslit about moids nature so that they dont have the chance to effectively prepare. Stay informed. I constantly learn from the women around me. Pay attention to xy motives & tactics. The power they hold, possible moves they may play etc. You wont be able to know/guess everything but stay in the loop nonetheless.

You will make mistakes be prepared to learn

It gets easier to control your attraction to moids overtime (if you're osa) as your focus is elsewhere as you realise there is a more fulfilling world out there beyond marriage & kids. Also life is just so much better. I know most women want the fairytale prince charming or an angel nigel but it's just not happening. Especially in a world like this. The freedom to be able to exist as a person & not a slave/punching bag for a rape ape is BLISS. You get so comfortable with it you wont wanna be with moids anyway especially when you see what other women go through. (Side note this is why women are pushed to being with moids as early as possible so this level of enlightenment is never reached & instead all women know + become accustomed to is suffering at the hands of moids).

As time passes and you mature into this lifestyle you can tell who's new and who's got skin in the game. I wont elaborate here as it'll digress and this note is long as is but those who know; know.

There's so much work to be done it'll last a lifetime. This lifestyle ain't easy. It strays from the norm so the typical guardrails that come with traditional options are out of the picture. The good news is that you can spend time crafting your own blueprint to follow or share with others who are willing. There's such little in terms of infrastructure & resources for single childfree women and yeah xys will likely try to destroy these things but at the same time if it can be done go for it and bear xy threat in mind we gotta start somewhere.

A purpose/guide is important. It's something that's going to guide your life through the ups and downs because it wont be a smooth ride but it'll be something that can make you in situations that break you. This isn't a "fuck you" to moids directly, it's about ourselves. Seeing this lifestyle as some type of "gotcha" against moids will only make things harder and lowkey misses the point of decentering them. I have my reasons for never getting married or having children that are solid (if you need inspiration checkout r/breakingmom on reddit). True comes from seeing something as bigger than yourself; find a purpose in this line of life to keep you going.

Invest in yourself. Personally, financially, etc. Pretty obvious but especially now that you're going to be more alone you need to be able to count on yourself more. With enough investment it can help other women too.

Invest in female network. No gyn is an island. Even though I'm not much of a social person the friends I have make my life better; they've been supportive but also honest. Also support female centric spaces online & offline; they're all that we have lest we be banished to the silo prison of the "nuclear family" or exploitative misogynistic communities.

Get comfortable disassociating/cutting people off. If you want to survive some things/people will simply just have to go.

You arent owed anything from other women, but you dont owe them anything either. The operating word here is owed, I aint saying women shouldn't help each other - I'm saying dont feel entitled. The feminist "girls support girls" schtick is bullshit. We're in a cold world full of ruthless oppression where everyone is just trying to survive however they can; in many cases it helps women survive when they turn on other women instead of on moids. Solidarity works because those who have solidarity politically speaking are people with power, it works in their interest to stand & work together as to keep + maintain their privileges in society so there wont be much female solidarity as in many cases it's not worth it to women long run. It aint right but that's how they perceive it so watch your back.

Everything is political. Always remember this. Many (privileged) people try to downplay politics & its effect but it runs our world which is why they want you blind to it. Pay attention.

There's merit to being around like-minded women even if it's just online. Like I said before it gets lonely. Very few women are willing to face & accept the truth about maIes. Being around like-minded women can be depressing sometimes as they drop blackpills bitter than you can initially handle but at least you dont feel so isolated/crazy.

[aifsaath]

Guys am I a magical feminist

if I can't pop out 5 children in the span of 15 years?

childfree women do not interact.

sweet baby jesus, @vampire-exgirlfriend, did you even THINK before you wrote that?

You want to argue for literary analysis, okay, but where the hell do you take the notion that magic is good in the books? WHERE? did we read the same texts? Because your wording does imply that and if you argue for Rhaenyra's super special womb, then Helaena is the super special womb too and her dragon's egg-laying cloaca is just as, if not more, magical as Syrax's . Sorry, but that motif, you're so obsessed with, is simply not there. You took a story about abuse of power, irresponsibility and hypocrisy, reduced it to two aesthetic details, and you argue that your understanding is better than that of the nerds? Puh-lease.

Magical girls and dragons, my ass.

[letters-of-libertas]

Ending this series about friendships on a positive note - green flags in relationships with women. Based on my female friendships I've had that's lasted years; full of enrichment & has taught me a lot in life.

They respect your boundaries - women that respect how you want to engage show a level of value + respect they have for you. Should be a basic thing but it is a good sign if you're able to express being uncomfortable with or talking about something & they respect it.

They have life beyond maIes - Be it seeking their validation, or obsessing over them in a positive/negative way. When you're with them they're not constantly talking about maIes or throwing you under the bus for them. Vital as a single childfree woman as you're less likely to be burdened with picking up the slack womens nigels leave behind.

You feel nourished after spending time with them - Friendships should add to your wellbeing. The world is tough as is; having good friends will make getting through it easier.

They keep it real - You can talk through issues with them. They can tell you when you're messing up (as well as when you're doing good) and put it in ways for your own good & not to be condescending. You can have minor disagreements & it doesn't lead to a major argument or fallout.

You can count on them - Note count and depend are two different things. You dont want to depend on others but realistically we need others; them being able to help you to an extent as you would with them is important. Help doesnt have to be financial or even physical but even just emotional support can go a long way.

They shut down negative talk about you - if they're in company where people are saying negative things about you they would defend you because they care about you. They wouldn't indulge or be comfortable letting people crap on you otherwise.

There's pacing - As the saying goes; fast wont last, slow will grow. Typically the closest friendships you have come from the least expected people/places and bc of that lack of expectation overtime the relationship had a chance to naturally grow. I think part of why many female friendships tend to be toxic and end horribly is because they're rushed. They get too close too quick leaving no room for inspection. Dopamine & adrenaline is running high, you feel like you're on cloud 9 with them even as doubt starts to crop up but eventually the pressure gets too much and everything bursts - ending abruptly.

As difficult as it can be to find & make solid female friendships; give yourself time, you can find good ones out there that are worth it, uplift you, and improve your life as a single childfree woman and generally speaking.

[elierlick]

Personal story:

I knew I wanted to be childfree (a “childless cat lady”) before I even realized I was queer or trans. There are some clear intersections between these experiences that aren’t often explored. I “came out” as not wanting children when I was in preschool. I could never see myself as a parent (with no judgment for those who do, of course!). The rhetoric used against me when I came out as queer and trans in elementary school was remarkably similar to that of not wanting children. They told me I’d “grow out of it” or would “regret it later,” especially because of my age. I was allegedly too young to know that information about myself. This “compulsory natalism” has followed me throughout my life.   The current moral panic about population collapse is part of the same paternalism over self-determination and the struggle for bodily autonomy. Whether it be Elon Musk’s racist fearmongering over “low birth rates” or JD Vance’s “childless cat ladies” comment, it’s no coincidence these figures are also campaigning against trans people.   Recently, these natalist groups are claiming we’re pressured to live childfree by our culture. I find it as ridiculous to claim that society pressured me into not having children as it is to claim it pressured me to be trans. Unequivocally false. Society glorifies parentage as the pinnacle and purpose of human experience, particularly for women. But I could not be happier with the sterilizing effects of hormones and surgery. I consider it an added benefit to transitioning that few people talk about.   We can - and should - be invested in society’s future regardless of whether we have kids. Neither parenthood nor its rejection is fundamentally individualistic (although both can be). We can care for one another no matter who we are. But the belief that parenthood is morally superior is a deeply reactionary and coercive idea that we need to flush out of our communities. We must respect one another for decisions about our own bodies. This childless cat lady wouldn’t have it any other way.