#Charles Gunn x you

[thepunkmuppet]

3x03 | 2x18

[faith-thee-slayer]

Buffy/Faith for the ship ask game? (But if you've already been asked that, then Fred/Gunn.)

buffy/faith: 1000% yes like it's a known fact at this point

idk where to even begin with what made me ship them, they just have so much to work with. the perfect enemies to lovers setup. the mirror selves meeting each other. the heartbreak and betrayal. the "things could've been different between us but they were also always doomed to turn out how they did." the "you are the only person in the world who understands me but i can't stand you." the attempted murder. the actual murder. the angst. the chemistry. i remember on my first ever watch of s3, i actually thought they were gonna kiss at some point because the tension was so palpable

favorite things about the ship: see the above, lol. i'm obsessed with how they don't realize how much the other cares about them. that's where so much of the tragedy takes place

i’m not sure if i have any unpopular opinions about them... i think for fuffy to successfully work, they’d have to get together sometime post-comics, like in their 30s. also i don’t believe that it was buffy’s fault for how faith turned out, i think that was sadly a series of events bound to happen

fred/gunn: YES

i can’t remember the specific episodes, but right around the middle of ats s3 when they become closer and start dating, i was sold. they are so precious. that one breakfast date they have where they look into each other’s eyes and place their hands on the bill is tooth-rottingly sweet

i love how gunn is usually a tough guy, and then soft only for fred. and how everyone calls gunn “gunn” but fred calls him by his first name. it’s simple, but tender

i don’t think this is an unpopular opinion but they could’ve easily got back together at some point, even after gunn killed that professor. (as if her relationship with wesley somehow made more sense...)

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Wednesday, December 18

WILLOW: (pause) Oh ... well, Ta-Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge- TARA: What are you, kidding?

~~Intervention~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

BtVS Triple Drabble: Too Vulnerable by badly_knitted (Buffy, PG)

Combining Forces by Amarin_Rose (Angel/Cordelia, Fred/Gunn, SG-1 xover, G)

The Sign by LudditeRobot (Faith, Xander, Potentials, G)

Wishes, Candy Canes and a World All Our Own by CheekyKitten (Buffy/Spike, E)

Ripped Away by spikesredqueen (Wesley/Fred, T)

Buffy Summers' Diary: The Return of Riley by ljs (Buffy/Spike, G)

Buffy Summers' Diary by ljs (Buffy/Spike, T)

A Ghost Of A Chance by Geliot99 (Buffy/Spike, M)

Winter’s Bite - burntsecrets (Spike/Reader, G)

The Pain Means You Love Me by GarsCrucible (Andrew/Warren, M)

Meant 2 Be by Spikelover4ever (Buffy/Spike, T)

Backstage 49 - So Sad the Song by Aadler (Xander, Cordelia, T)

Different Kind of Magic by fatalfae (Buffy/Willow, E)

day #18: "last christmas" by auroracalisto (Spike/reader, unrated)

Be Careful What You Wish For by Harmony99 (Buffy/Spike, PG)

Buffy Versus Santa Claws by SlayerOfSunnydale (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

A Ghost Of A Chance by Geliot99 (Buffy/Spike, R)

The Parting Glass by Magic Box Moon (Buffy/Spike, PG)

Buffy's A Chirstmas Carol by Alyot (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Be Careful What You Wish For by Harmony99 (Buffy/Spike, PG)

Sparkly Cookies by veronyxk84 (Buffy/William Pratt, T)

[Chaptered Fiction]

The Tie That Binds - ch. 1-2 by RoseWineGoddess (Spike/Drusilla, T)

Better Things to Do - ch. 1 by BeneficialAddiction (Buffy/Spike, T)

Psych-Out Wolves: The Side Quest - ch. 1 by calikocat (Xander/Spike/Graham, CSI Miami xover, E)

The Degradation of Duality [Series Part 2] - ch. 68 by Ragini (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Masquerade - ch. 8 by Holly (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Through The Keyhole - ch. 9-10 by Geliot99, cd85 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

The Office Hellmouth - ch. 7 by Willow25 (Buffy/Spike, R) COMPLETE!

Psych-Out Wolves: The Side Quest - ch. 1 by calikocat (Xander, CSI Miami xover, FR21)

The joining of souls - ch. 20 by delfine (Buffy, LOTR xover, FR13)

Snapshots From My Idiot - ch. 1-3 by Claire (Buffy/Spike, G)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: *Buffy renaissance pending* Spike x Buffy portrait season 4. “Something Blue”. by petridishbabydesigns (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Artwork: *silently waiting for a Buffy cultural renaissance while rererewatching* by petridishbabydesigns (Buffy, worksafe)

Artwork: I think he'll stomach the flight next year by yarboyandy (Giles, Angel, worksafe)

Artwork: Fuffy getting handsy at the club by sideartblog999 (Buffy/Faith, mildly NSFW)

Icons: Buffy Summers — Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season Two (1997) by slashericons (Buffy, worksafe)

Icons: More: 1 by horrorcryingscreencaps (Buffy, worksafe)

Header: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S03E10 — Amends. by screensland (Buffy, Angel, Willow, Xander, Faith, worksafe)

Two Collages: #277 Taylor Swift - Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince and 276 Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer both by thedecadentraven (Buffy/Spike and Spike, worksafe)

Collage: harmony 💗🦄 by slut-jpeg (Harmony, worksafe)

Two Collages: Collage #274 and Collage #275 both by thedecadentraven (Spike and Willow, worksafe)

Edit: I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you [commentary in OP tags] by tenderjock (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Three Moodboards: autistic bi aro anya jenkins and angel & connor and greygender buffy summers all by courtillyy (worksafe)

Gifset: "You can be with someone for a hundred and fifty years. Think you know them." by sulietsexual (Angel/Darla, worksafe)

Gifset: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER | 3.10 "Amends" by whatisyourchildhoodtrauma (Buffy/Faith, worksafe)

Gifset: 2.16 Epiphany | 5.22 Not Fade Away Angel [1999 - 2004] by dailyats (Kate, Angel, Charles, Anne, worksafe)

Gifset: Glory + Outfits by clarkgriffon (Glory, worksafe)

Manip: It Can Be Me; I Have No Breath by EverythingElse (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Collage: Tara and Willow Collage [and request for pic sources] by Past-Throat-6788 (Tara/Willow, worksafe)

[Recs & In Search Of]

ISO: twinklylightslongshiftnights seeks post S7 romantic/reunion Spuffy fics

ISO: Mika95 seeks thoughts for their OC who is Rack's Apprentice

ISO: DazedAndTrippy seeks Lost Retrospective Video? [that is 3 hours long]

ISO: ParkingComfort1597 seeks Reaction/ First Time Watching Recommendations Plz!

[Community Announcements]

[would anyone donate] to one of the Palestinian families I have been supporting, in exchange for a gifset of your choice? by kyrumption

[Fandom Discussions]

I love buffy summers so so much. She’s so perfect and so incredibly complex and flawed... by youhavethesun

[it is funny and annoying] how blatantly bisexual so many buffyverse characters are... by xaeyrnofnbe

been rotating the idea of a trans fem buffy fic around in my head... by transvampirerights

Rickie is genuinely quite touching in this episode [Anne] by thornfield13713

I'm sorry, Joyce, whose last words to Buffy were 'if you leave this house, don't even think about coming back'?... [Anne] by thornfield13713

I do love Lily coming back as a past person-saved [Anne] by thornfield13713

I still think about the one line... where Kennedy says to Willow that she likes how she turns off Moulan Rouge... by sluttyquarantinetheory

Thinking about how Buffy’s relationships are muddled with metaphors of abuse... by mortalandstupid

i don't know if the relationships on buffy are actually well-written or if it's just the 11-year-old girl... by emilyaxford

[Meme of Fuffy with Wicked the musical lyrics] by star-collapse

The BB Bookclub List updated by multiple

Anyone care to explain [size of Hell / Hellmouth and Sunnydale falling in] by ILLYRIAN

[various Memes] by funishin

why do i feel bad [for Spike and also how does the whole vamp thing work?] by thunpnz

[I just] realized how genius these lyrics from Sweet are… by Myrtle1119

xander [dislike for Xander] by millieann_2610

People seem to hate on Xander a lot [praise for Xander] by Patient-Morning-4912

Sunday [the vampire] by Proof-Put8182

Different reactions. [Angel reacting to Buffy and Riley vs Buffy and Spike] by FoxIndependent4310

Jenny had the most tragic ending of all. by FoxIndependent4310

(Politics Warning): Gingerbread and today’s political climate. [discussion of YT video about BTVS explaining UK riots] by Heart_Throb_

Angels, Gods, & Devils by XMorpheus3000

[how would a reboot without Joss Whedon be, in terms of direction and writing quality?] by Scopeburger

Darla [could she re-enter Buffy's house after she is re-sired in ATS S2 ?] by JPenelope

UK Riots: Explained in Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Femi

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

"James Marsters will be doing a Valentine's @StreamilyLive Livestream Signing on February 11 at 11am PST." via dontkillspike

James Marsters to Attend Nightmare Weekend Cleveland (USA) 30-31 August 2025 via dontkillspike

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[oncemorewithqueering]

Does anyone want to hear my Buffy and Angel sexuality headcanons?

No?

Well here we go:

*DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE MY OPINIONS, NOT FACT. IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE DO NOT HATE AND FEEL FREE TO TELL ME OTHERWISE POLITELY*

Buffy: Have you seen the way Buffy looks at Faith? She’s bi imo with a strong preference for guys. Also, I loved the Slayer coming out scene to Joyce so much ahh

Willow: I have always been super conflicted about Willow bc, like, yes it’s bi erasure but also she says that she’s a ‘lesbian now’

So I think she’s abrosexual but constantly likes girls

Xander: Ik Xander screams hetero energy BUT hear me out

I think Xander’s little freak out about Willow came from a place of Bi curiosity

Giles: I have nothing to say but Ethan Rayne

Faith: Faith, my girlfriend for all time, could be bi or pan. I think she’s pan bc she just seems like gender doesn’t matter

go get that Buffy girl

Angel, Spike, Drusilla and Darla: My little headcanon is that all vampires are bi/pan. I think Dru and Darla show less preference for men, so I thought they might be pan

Cordelia: Cordy is that straight friend who takes you to pride and twenty (20) seconds later she’s chatting up like 15 men and women, but she’s still straight

Anya: Same logic as the vamps. She’s a demon. She used to be immortal. She probably likes everyone.

Wesley: *cough cough* CHARLES GUNN. I see you Wesley.

Fred: Fred, my gf who will never love me. I just don’t get a queer vibe.

Lorne: They did Lorne SO DIRTY! He is totally gay. The musicals. The pseudo-coming out storyline. Wizard of Oz. I don’t mean to feed into stereotyped but…

Andrew: Yes I put him before Gunn. Yes, I did forget him in the Buffy section.

Andrew and his Warren crush are proof enough to me tbh.

Gunn: Gunn my sweet baby boy please go kiss Wesley ok bye

Ethan Rayne: He loves Giles. Need I say more

Oz: Oz gives me bicurious energy. Not fully bi, not fully straight. Just drifting around. Love him

Dawn: Dawn is just a lovely little straight daughter of two gays. I love that for her

Tara: Tara is last, but not least, because this is canon! Go her! Also rip

ok thank you for listening bye bye love you x

[rock-and-compass]

Angel 5.13 - Why We Fight

(I wrote this series of essays many years ago, probably around the time that the season 8 comics were being published. The were originally published on my LiveJournal and I'm reposting them here, mostly for personal archival purposes.)

I’m Angel! I kill the Bad Guys!

Yeah!!  Woo Hoo!    Yay!  … um……. Yeah, okay ……Right.  Ummm………..Right. Ahh…yeah…

I’ll just go back to my desk now; I’ve got a few papers to sign… yeah...

So, he does. He goes back to work and tries not to think of the heroic, Fantasy-Angel, she showed him he was and should be. He tries not to think about the fact that he’s trapped here in the belly of the beast with no foreseeable escape.  He’ll try not to think of his surrendered son . . . or her . . . But he does think of that fragile shoot of hope, miraculously germinated with her fleeting return and he’s worried about it. It’s getting no nutrition or encouragement. It’s stunted and in danger of dying. But he wants to keep it alive, he’s trying to keep it alive, he’s trying to think of Cordelia’s visit as a gift, trying not to think that, yet again he’s been kicked in the guts by the all-powerful forces that drive the universe, trying not to let that feeling of hurt and abandonment overwhelm him, trying not to think of how his best friend is dead because of….no, don’t go there, too dangerous. She didn’t think he should be here at Wolfram and Hart, but she had faith he could get out . . . if only he could figure out how.  And so, he sits and works and deliberately makes no sudden movements, he protects that pathetic sprout from further damage because it’s all he’s got, and he knows his life depends on it.

But ‘Why We Fight’ opens in quite a different place and time; the Atlantic Ocean, 1943. It’s an X-File-esque beginning. A commotion takes place on a submerged submarine that has been caused by an unseen complication. The captain of the ship is desperately trying to get his men to safety, another sailor is radioing for help. The men get to another compartment of the sub, seemingly to safety, but before the hatch can be locked the captain is grabbed from behind and injured badly. He calls for help. Sam Lawson, a handsome young ensign, is willing to oblige and goes to his captain’s aid, dragging the injured man back towards the doorway to safety. Before he can get there, a tug-of-war ensues; the unseen foe wants the captain too. Lawson and another sailor are horrified by the sight, and they are no match for their attacker’s superior strength. They fall back and are showered by blood as the captain meets his horrible fate. Lawson and his crewmate stumble to their feet, back away with terror and scramble into the next compartment of the vessel, sealing the hatch behind them.

Back in the present day it's business as usual. Angel and his team are meeting in the conference room. Eve has apparently vanished, and Angel wants confirmation that Lindsey is getting his just rewards in whatever hell hole the Senior Partners zapped him to. Gunn says it will be difficult to confirm; there is no conduit, no liaison, they are alone in this. Charles seems to be having some difficulty in recalling the proper protocol for establishing a new liaison. Considering that this kind of stuff has been second nature to him since the brain upgrade, we know this can’t be good. Oh, and nobody mentions Cordelia. Just sayin’.

Later, the elevator pings and the doors open; that handsome young officer from the submarine in 1943 steps out and he’s still, well, young and handsome. We’re savvy with the way things work in the Buffyverse. We know what this means.  Fred returns to her lab. She is not alone. Lawson has beaten her there. He’s reading one of her reports. Fred tries to get his attention. 

Lawson: Oh. Hi. I'm sorry. I was just trying to understand some of your equations here. I used to have a bit of a head for numbers. It's funny how you lose part of your mind when you stop using it.

He seems so nice, not dangerous at all. We know what he is, and he doesn’t seem dangerous. He seems sad and . . . regretful, but not dangerous. Fred asks if she can help him with something, but he assures her, no, Miss Burkle, he just came to talk. The fact that he knows her name alerts her to the risk his presence poses but he doesn’t try to hurt her, he just begins asking metaphysical questions. Is she happy working here? Does she enjoy what she does? Is she eager to start her day when she wakes each morning? Good questions. Fred edges to the door, answering only in a vague, non-committal way. He knows what she is up to, warns her not to try it because then he’ll have to stop her, which, one suspects, wouldn’t be very nice.

Fred: What do you want?  Lawson: Actually, I came to see your boss. Angel and I are... old acquaintances. I was friends with him back in the day, back when he was in his patriotic phase.

It’s New York, 1943. There are newspapers strewn across the floor. “Allies Strike Back” is the topmost headline. Angel is sitting, brooding, in his darkened apartment. The war is something he reads about, but it’s not his war. It doesn’t affect him. It’s just something that makes his disconnectedness from the world and the people who inhabit it even more apparent. This is not his ‘patriotic phase’, it’s his apathetic stage. Suddenly his door is kicked in. Men brandishing crossbows and stakes surround him. They know what he is, and they want to talk. They have an ‘offer’ for him.

Seems the U.S. boys have managed to capture a prototype submarine. Trouble is, on the way back to friendly waters it hit a snag. Now the sub is stuck in hostile territory, stricken, marking time until it is destroyed. Hmmm, that sub sounds like someone we know; Angel - Stricken in hostile territory, facing destruction unless he comes to his own rescue, which is, coincidently, what the men-in-black want Angel to do too with the sub.

It seems Angel’s visitors represent a relatively new government agency, “The Demon Research Initiative” and they’ve decided to coerce Angel into helping the cause.

Military Man: We need that sub, and we need you to deal with... what's on it. 

They show Angel a file of the cargo manifest. They know what’s on that sub, they want it dealt with, but they still want the boat and the secrets it holds. Once he opens the file Angel understands. Something in that file makes him comply and cooperate.

There are a couple of points of interest here. Firstly, the existence of the government authorised Demon Research Initiative creates and corroborates the history of government involvement in the demon realm as explored in season four of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Secondly, that it is a further example of Angel being coerced into someone else’s agenda, a tendency that has proved habitual in his quest for redemption. 

On the sub, Lawson has the surviving sailors gathered in relative safety. He is concerned about his men and determined to get them out of this in one piece. Amongst the Americans is a lone Nazi, the sole survivor from the takeover of the sub perhaps? A valuable asset for interrogation? Their objective is to survive where they are until help can arrive. They have two days of air and a faint hope that those ‘things’ won’t figure out how to get through to them. They think that the ‘things’ are a creation of the Nazi’s, and more proof of Nazi monstrousness. 

They hear screaming from beyond their safety zone. They realise that one of their crewmates is still alive back there, being tortured by God knows what. Lawson, showing foolhardy bravery, wants to rescue him. The others blanch at the very notion. The unfortunate sailor is as good as dead, there’s nothing they can do for him and risking their own necks to rescue the lost won’t save any of them. Nevertheless, Lawson is determined. Guns are pointed; the survivors begin to turn on each other. And again, we are vaguely reminded of Angel, his impulses echo through Lawson. A brave but reckless decision was made, that put him and all his friends in danger to save the life of his seemingly unsalvageable son. Yet at least Lawson’s men knew what was happening around them and had the chance to protest against their sacrifice. Angel’s team had no such consideration.

The sailors are distracted by a metallic banging coming from the torpedo room. Lawson recognises the pattern of the sound as an SOS signal in Morse code. With pistols drawn they open the torpedo hatch to find, much to their surprise, a man, Angel, looking a little like a drowned rat. They free him but are suspicious; how could a man get down to them with no assistance, no air, and no suit? Angel avoids the question asking for the man in charge. As a result of the captain’s demise, Lawson reluctantly accepts the position, but once Angel provides him with a particular security code, he relinquishes it to the new arrival without hesitation.  The sailors are impressed. Angel seems like some kind of superhero, or at the very least, a super-soldier – just like Captain America. He re-enforces this conception when he shows no fear about confronting the monstrous killer at the other end of the boat.

Angel: …It's OK, Lawson. I know what I'm up against. Don't open up this door for anything other than me.

He knows precisely what’s at the other end of the sub, has done since he read the Initiative’s damn report. Consequently, Angel displays no surprise when he finds Spike trying to force his way through the hatch door. Spike looks different. Gone is the light chestnut hair colour from his earliest days, but the bleach blonde hasn’t been adopted yet. Instead, his hair is jet black and slicked back – very villainish, and he’s wearing a very fetching ankle length leather jacket, with a swastika above the elbow – but he’s not a Nazi, he just ate one and took a shine to the coat. He feels better they got Angelus too; doesn’t feel so bad about falling for the old ‘free virgin blood party’ scam (see Spike vs. Dracula, IDW Publishing for a prelude to his capture). Spike and “Angelus” head through to the next compartment where they find two more vampires captured by the Nazis - Nostroyev and the Prince of Lies

 “Angelus” forbids the consumption of the remaining crew. They will need the humans to sail the boat so that they can get off the bottom of the ocean. Nostroyev doesn’t want to play by these rules, and doesn't want to be told what he can and can’t do by Angelus. He wants to kill whomever he wants, when he wants. Angel can’t let that happen, so he dusts the non-compliant vampire without hesitation. He has stamped his authority on both sides now:

Angel:  We don't kill the humans 'till we reach land. Is that clear?  Spike:  Heil Hitler.

But the rebellion is a symbolic display only. Angelus is in command and Spike falls into line, just as he’s always done (although not without a shot at Angel’s dictatorial tendencies).  

Back at the office Angel is doing some paperwork. Lawson arrives. They trade ‘pleasantries’, mainly about the ironic ease of access to this supposedly highly secured building. But they quickly get to the crux:

Lawson: Seems like you're doing pretty well for yourself. It's a far cry from all those years you spent in the gutters, eating rats.  Angel: You've been following my life. I'm touched.  Lawson: I just check in every decade or so. Imagine my surprise when I found out that Mr. Vermin-eater himself was suddenly fighting evil and running Wolfram & Hart. Mind explaining that one to me? Those two don't exactly go hand in hand. 

Angel can’t explain it, it’s complicated. Lawson agrees.

Lawson: Find that's true about most things these days. I don't mean to sound like an old man, but... We used to live in simpler times, didn't we? Never thought I'd miss being on that sub. Things made a kind of sense. 

Simpler times - good guys, bad guys, right and wrong, war, peace, man or monster – easy. Except it wasn’t really simpler – he’s just looking back with rose coloured glasses, and doesn't want to acknowledge other versions, other interpretations of events…

Back on the sub, Angel has assumed total command. The sailors recognise his authority without question. He’ll get them through if they follow his lead. Angel makes the introductions this time and advises Lawson to put the other creatures to work, if he can use them. But Lawson doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why they’re working with them, or for that matter, why they’re being allowed to live when they are responsible for butchering the majority of the crew. It’s all very allegorical of Team Angel’s life at Wolfram and Hart, isn’t it? And here also we begin to see the difference (and similarities) between Lawson and Angel.

Lawson: I don't think we'll need 'em.  Angel: They're extra hands.  Lawson: They're monsters. And I don't know why we—  Angel: You don't need to know why. We gotta bring this sub in. Those are our orders. Isn't that the point? Following orders?  Lawson: There's a difference between orders... and purpose, sir. I didn't sign on 'cause I needed directions. Hell, growin' up, I used to make fun of the military boys. Always figured they wouldn't know how to tie their shoes if someone didn't give 'em the go-ahead. Then I saw pictures of what the Krauts were doing. Evil's spreading, sir... and it's not just over there. It was on my ship, it killed my crew, and we gotta stop it! And I've been scared out of my mind since I signed on for this duty, but I can keep it together, I can even handle dying, if I know it's for a greater purpose.  Angel: We got a job to do. That job is gonna help us win the war. I don't need you to understand every detail but just know we're fightin' on the same side. I need you to trust that I'm gonna get us all through this... safe and sound.

Lawson has a commitment, to his men, to his captain, to his ship, to his mission, to his country, to the cause. He is a quietly heroic character, the very best of humanity on display. But for Angel, at this stage of his existence, it's not about a cause or a mission, it’s about a job that he’s been forced into doing and he just wants to get in and get it done and get out again. Simple as that. One wonders if a similar rationale was used for taking his team to Wolfram and Hart. He went there, accepted their proposal to achieve an end – a new life for Connor. It was never about the higher ideal of fighting evil from within the beast; that was just the ‘party line’ he adopted to explain the decision. Going to Wolfram and Hart was never about a mission or a cause. It was about a job. And the identity crisis he’s experienced this season is the consequence because he can’t be the ‘it’s just a job’ apathetic guy anymore, it just doesn’t jibe with the Angel he developed into or the Angel he wants to be. 

Back in the present Lawson questions Angel’s motivation for any of it. Did he really care, or was he there just to save his own ass? Well, yeah…that and that wayward grandson of his. But Lawson is making some philosophical demands. He wants to understand; to know why they do what they do. Angel doesn’t have the answers he’s looking for. He’s not in the mood to talk anyway. Angel catches Lawson unawares and goes to stake him, apparently, he’d promised as much should they ever meet again. But Lawson has something up his sleeve, something that makes Angel stop in his tracks.

He has Gunn and Fred and Wesley tied up, standing on unstable swivel chairs, gagged and wire tied around their throats. He doesn’t need Angel to understand every detail, but he does need him to trust that he’ll get them all through this safe and sound.

Angel: Whatever you want from me... this isn't the way to get it.  Lawson: Already getting it. The worry in your eyes, fear of what might happen next, which is right on the mark, 'cause I got a funny feeling there's gonna be blood spilled tonight. For old times' sake some.

Lawson is bitter and he wants to make Angel suffer. Unusual behaviour for a vampire? Not completely unheard of. . . We’ve seen this kind of thing before:

Drusilla: (pouring Holy Water on Angel) The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch. My mummy ate lemons. Raw. She said she loved the way they made her mouth... tingle. Little Anne. Her favorite was custard... brandied pears. Angel:�� Dru... Drusilla: Shhh! And pomegranates. They used to make her face and fingers all red. Remember. Hmm . . .  Little fingers; little hands . . . Do you? Angel:  If I could... Drusilla:  Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake, and eggs, and honey.  Until you came and ripped their throats out.

Back on the submarine Lawson has got the boat moving, slowly but surely. Spike is being obnoxious but obedient to his superior. Lawson makes the correct assumption that Angel’s confidence that Spike will do as he’s told is rooted in a pre-existing relationship. Lawson is starting to think, make connections, and wonder about this ‘super-soldier’ who miraculously arrived on the sub to save the day... 

There is a commotion in the neighbouring compartment. The Prince of Lies is having a crack at the Nazi officer. He has a sheaf of papers that have upset him enough to attack. Angel tries to pull him off the German and Lawson takes the opportunity to shoot him, with no effect. Finally, Angel is forced to stake the ancient vampire causing him to explode into a cloud of dust before the very eyes of the startled crew.  Lawson sends his men back to work despite their questions leaving Angel, Lawson and Spike to wonder what upset the prince in the first place. Spike guesses that it was the contents of papers, but they are written in German. He tries to ‘charm’ the Nazi soldier into talking. Angel says they don’t have time for this (but, hey, what else is there to do, really).  Spike won’t be distracted. He slips into ‘game-face’ to hurry things along a bit. The German talks, in German, and it turns out that Lawson knows enough of the language to make rough translations. So, with Spike menacing and Lawson interrogating them they are able to discover that the papers detail experiments involving stimulation and control of neurological impulses that the Nazis have been carrying out on vampires with the aim of creating a super army. Lawson is sickened. It’s one more monstrous plot that unequivocally proves the inhumanity of Nazi ideals; confirms the superiority of morally upright America. The German laughs at the young sailor’s naivety. They’re not the only ones interested in such knowledge he suggests as he looks pointedly at Angel for confirmation. 

Lawson:  You knew about this?  Spike: He did?  Angel: It was part of the mission

The information, not the sub, is the main objective of the entire assignment. The newly created Demon Research Initiative is, presumably, a little behind the eight-ball in that department, particularly in comparison to the Nazis. What better way to catch up than to steal your competitor's research? After all, one of the main objectives of war is to know what the enemy is up to and then try and do it better.

The penny finally drops for Spike; Angel is playing both sides and while the younger vampire respects the tactic, Lawson is less understanding.  He refuses to believe that his country would stoop to such levels, would resort to ruthlessness and evil in order to win. Not his government, not his country. The vampires marvel at his idealism. 

Spike: Yeah? Let me know how that works out for you, Popeye.  Angel: None of this matters. Your people are getting this ship and their men onboard that are still alive. That's all! Spike . . . torch it

So the papers are set alight but an explosion elsewhere on the ship distracts him momentarily. Inadvertently his coat catches fire. While trying to stop himself from burning Spike drops the flaming documents before they are completely destroyed. 

Hmmm… 

Are we sure that ‘Destiny’ is not interested in the white haired one? Providence perhaps or is it just irony? I mean come on – Angel is sent to a submarine to retrieve sensitive documents about Nazi advances in demon control but only goes on the mission because Spike is on the sub and his family loyalty kicks in. They think they have destroyed all evidence of the findings but unfortunately, it's not, and the information eventually falls into U.S. hands along with the sub and so, nearly sixty years later Spike is captured by the Initiative, is the beneficiary of said research courtesy of the neurological chip that regulates improper impulses and inadvertently opens the door to his redemption and then eventually, the reclamation of his soul and his relocation back into Angel’s world. The symmetry is lovely. 

The Germans are not happy to have the sub and their precious research slip through their fingers. They would rather see it destroyed than let the Americans have it. Pursuing forces attack, causing the sub to have to take the evasive action of diving deeper into the ocean's depths. While in retreat they are hit. The propulsion motor is incapacitated. They are dead in the water. Lawson is the only one on board with the know-how to get the engines going again. He goes to try and fix them – lives and the success of the mission depend on him.  While he’s thus engaged the German officer is able to stealthily sneak up on him and stab him in the gut with a long screwdriver, twisting it brutally to cause maximum damage. Lawson is done for, and he knows it and it sucks. But he tries to get it done all the same. Angel arrives, sees the situation and knows what he has to do. It’s the only way. He brings out his vampire fangs and bites deeply into Lawson’s neck. Then he cuts his own wrist on a jagged pipe and forces the bleeding wound against Lawson’s mouth. Initial reluctance to drink soon turns to enthusiasm as the transformation from man to monster begins.

Back in the control room Angel and Spike wait while the remaining sailors languish on the floor in obvious distress. 

Spike: Air's about gone. Your new boy better get the engines running before the fish start flopping.  Angel: He'll get it done.  Spike: Hope it's in time.

Spike knows what’s been done to save the sub, knows it hinges on the actions of his new ‘brother’. Still, he’s hungry and it would be something of a blessing to put a few of the dying sailors out of their misery. The engines start up. Lawson has successfully got them moving again. Angel tells Spike to help get the men up so they can get the boat surfaced. It’s their lucky day. Spike once again shows that even when he was the embodiment of evil, he was capable of self-restraint. While yes, he views the humans primarily as food, he is still able to interact with them beyond his epicurean desires because a) Angel bids him to, b) his sense of self-preservation is quite acute and c) that lingering taint of humanity (the same one that makes him sing God Save the King and offer ‘mercy’ as a valid reason for eating the slowly dying sailors) gives him that freedom. 

Angel goes to Lawson to congratulate him on a job well done. Sam wonders why they are heading to the surface with the Germans hot on their heels but Angel explains that it is to save the men’s lives. They need air.

Lawson: They swore to give their lives for their country... just like me. Besides, I'm hungry.  Angel: They're still your men.  Lawson: But they're not the mission... are they?

Gone is the admirable, home-town hero. In his place is the vampire version, contaminated by sarcasm and nastiness, who mocks his former self. His mission has evaporated. Now there is no cause, no great fight, and no belief in right. Now he’s hungry and his mission is dinner, and his men are looking mighty tasty right about now. They look smaller, insignificant.

The submarine surfaces and one of the men opens the hatch to the outside world. It’s eight hours till sunrise and they are twenty miles from the coast. Lawson understands – he has to make a swim for it. Angel says he’s sorry for what had to happen and promises to kill him if they should ever meet again. 

Spike:  Bloody brilliant. Turn the poor sod to save the ship. Then make him dash for dry land before Mr. Sunshine scorches him a new one. You're still a dick. Angel: Yeah. I am.

Yup, Angel’s thinking he’s a dick because he went through all this, killed a fine young man, all to save Spike from probes and experimentation, and the ungrateful young pup doesn’t even freaking realise it. So he makes Spike take the swim too. The obvious question here is why Angel would do that? Why would he allow two bloodthirsty vampires to live and let them loose on the world when, surely the right thing to do would have been to stake them both? Well, it is his apathetic phase after all.  At this point in time Angel simply doesn’t care much about anything, let alone the nameless would-be victims of his ‘sons’. He can’t bring himself to kill Lawson again. He did that once already and his way of showing contrition is to let him go, though he does promise to re-evaluate that decision if they ever meet again. Maybe he thinks a new, inexperienced vampire with no tutelage is hardly likely to survive too long anyway? But then there is Spike. He knows what Spike can do, what he’s capable of, yet he lets him go too with no similar pledge of retribution should they ever cross paths again. He lets Spike go for the same reason he went to all the trouble to rescue him, he lets him go because he is Angelus’ boy.

Angel, in 1943 is a long way from mastering any control over Angelus. That’s why he sits in his room alone, separate from the world. Because he is afraid of his Angelus impulses, that they will exert their authority over Angel and the soul will prove pointless after all. He makes no sudden movements. He sits quietly and fights remorse and regret and urges and resentment that this conscience was forced upon him, that now all he can do is think and lament…

But to Spike he shows some kind of skewed loyalty, the same that he showed Drusilla in Sunnydale when he was very firmly on the side of good and using the soul as his guiding light:

Angel:  Drusilla, leave here. I'm offering you that chance. Take Spike and get out. Drusilla:  Or you'll hurt me?...No. No, you can't. Not anymore. Angel:  If you don't leave it'll go badly. For all of us.

Spike is his boy. Spike is his investment. Spike is his legacy; and so, he gets to live.

Back in the present-day Lawson wants to hear that his old crew at least tortured Angel, once they knew the truth. But Angel never gave them the chance. He jumped ship at the first opportunity and went underground for the duration of the war. He got his job done, achieved all objectives then made damn sure he wouldn’t be put to ‘work’ again by intrusive government interests.

Angel: I never wanted to do this to you.  Lawson: Oh, put your hanky away. I know how important the technology they pulled from the sub was to helping us stop the Germans. Sounded like a fair shake. One person damned to make the world safe for future generations.

So even as a vampire Lawson verges on the idealistic. He still needs to believe that he died for a cause, that saving the sub was integral to Allied victory, that there was some higher purpose to his actions. But that, sadly, is not really the case. He’s deluding himself. He died so that the US government could get their hands on some rather futile research into demonology so that his government, his country could do experiments too, have the same advantages as the enemy. He died for something that was fundamentally abhorrent to the human Lawson’s sense of right and justice. 

And now we see that Lawson is not just some random reminder of the past. He is, in fact a reflection of Angel – just a soulless one; not Angelus mind, no, he’s Angel’s reflection where Spike was Angelus’ And he turns up at Wolfram and Hart not because the time is suddenly right for revenge but because he’s angry that Angel is once again playing both sides of the line, just as he was in the sub. It reminds Lawson of his ‘mission’

Lawson:  We all need a reason to live, even if we're already dead. Mom, apple pie, the stars and stripes—that was good enough for me till I met you. Then I had this whole creature-of-the-night thing going for me—the joy of destruction and death—and I embraced it. I did all the terrible things a monster does—murdered women and children, tortured fathers and husbands just to hear 'em scream—and through it all... I felt nothing. 60 years of blood drying in my throat like ashes. So what do you think? Is it me, chief? Or does everyone you sired feel this way?

Death and mayhem and buckets of ruby red are not enough for this vampire. He’s discontent with his lot. He resents his death, he begrudges the loss of who he was. And well he might for Sam Lawson was never shown what it meant to be a vampire. He never had someone show him what to do or congratulate him on a kill or to share the slaughter of innocents with. He was released into the world with no tuition and, just like a human child who has insufficient guidance; he grew up ‘wrong’, never quite getting what he was supposed to be. We’ve seen evidence of this before in Harmony (also see the excellent graphic novel “Tales of the Vampire”, published by Dark Horse for further exploration of vampiric emotions and capabilities). Spike and Angelus are our examples of how successful vampires can be when properly schooled. Harmony and Lawson show us what happens when they are not. 

Angel admits that Lawson is the only person he ever sired after he got his soul. Lawson is hopeful that it might mean he has one too:

Angel: I don't think it works that way, son. 

Angel is understanding, almost kind, because he can identify with Lawson’s plight, from his own first-hand experience of being directionless, lacking a purpose but also because it’s eerily similar to when his son, his human son, asked him for answers, told him he couldn’t feel (A4.22- Home) and it will end the same, only ensign Lawson doesn’t get a second chance or a new beginning. Now at this point Angel could have made a different choice, he could have told Lawson about Spike and the chip and the soul and the saving the world and showed him that his death wasn’t entirely pointless, that there were actually choices available if you were prepared to make them, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead Angel and Lawson get into a scuffle. It’s a non-event. It’s too unequal. 

Lawson: You gave me just enough, didn't you? Enough of your soul to keep me trapped between who I was and who I should be. I'm nothin'... because of you.

He’s a man forced into being a monster, living off instinct and urges he can’t control. He feels like nothing. We’ve heard those words before. We know another vampire who felt like nothing, neither man nor monster. We know what the other vampire did with these feelings and it wasn't to track down the ‘ol sire to try and extract revenge. No, he made a much bigger decision and made a real change. But Lawson is in no such position. He lacks any essence of moral clarity to change his behaviour. He is a slave to his demonic impulses whether he likes it or not. Spike was lucky really, being the beneficiary of experimentation that grew out of that formative research found in the submarine, that allowed him to navigate a route between human and demon existence, that enabled him to make a choice. Lawson has no such luxury. 

The fight continues. Windows are shattered (again). Lawson grabs a splinter of timber and stabs blindly, but Angel catches his wrist and turns the makeshift stake onto Lawson’s non-beating heart.

Lawson: Come on, chief. Give me a mission.

With that, Angel pounds the wood into his chest turning him into nothing but dust, one more nasty reminder of the past dealt with but also helping Lawson finally fulfil the ultimate demand of his human ‘mission’; to truly die in the line of duty.

Later, the morning sun is streaming through the necro-tempered glass in Angel’s office. Angel is looking at the outside world from within his silk-lined prison. Spike arrives. He’s been visiting Fred and she gave him the Cliff Notes on the night’s events. Spike assumes that revenge was the main order of the day but Angel doesn’t think so.

Spike: No? Then what was he looking for?  Angel: A reason.

And isn’t that the same thing Angel is looking for?

 The episode closes with the two vampires, side by side. Angel sits slumped, downcast while Spike stands tall, confident and assured. Spike is over his little glitch, that whole pretend ‘destiny’ thing. Now his post-Sunnydale life begins in earnest. Got body and no ties, will do whatever he bloody well likes, including keeping an eye on the old bastard! And how could Angel not be struck by a new respect for Spike? Suddenly, he must seem beyond Angel’s comprehension. Like Lawson he suffered dissatisfaction with his vampire’s lot but in response he sought out a soul and won. And he’s not divided or conflicted. He’s Spike, with a soul, now very firmly on the opposite side of the line than he was before. He’s a hero, he’s a champion. He saved the world. No wonder Angel can’t embrace him, can’t call him ‘son’ cajolingly, like he could Lawson – he can’t understand this creature who has faced the monster inside and won, who doesn’t need a purpose or a ‘destiny’, whose mission is simply to not be what he was before.

Suddenly, that withered little shoot has a tremor of growth. It decides to fight for survival. It’s found an unexpected source of nutrition. Hope really does spring from the most unlikely of sources.

Next up Angel 5.14 - Smile Time

[chrancecriber]

Chilltrax (May 24, 2023)

23:56 Pines Feat. Water Park - Tell Me 23:50 Leaving Laurel - There Is Beauty When You Allow Yourself To See 23:46 Sound Quelle Feat. Daniel Robinson - Tempest 23:42 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 23:37 Be Svendsen - Andromeda 23:37 C H I L L T R A X - Take Me Away! 23:34 Everything But The Girl - Run A Red Light 23:30 Faodail & Kakadu - Painting In Shades (Edapollo Remix) 23:24 Il:lo - Cynnes 23:20 Running Touch - Why Do I 23:16 Odesza Feat. Olafur Arnalds - Light Of Day (Parra For Cuva Remix) 23:16 C H I L L T R A X - Be Svendsen World Comes 23:12 Maxxim - Waterfalls 23:07 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 23:03 Diplo Feat. Rhye - Mmxx - Xii 22:59 Rocket Empire - Astoria 22:54 Beacon - Until Next Time 22:50 Elderbrook - The End 22:50 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 22:47 Elypsis - Open Your Eyes 22:42 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 22:39 Solomon Grey - Home 22:35 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Malou - About You 22:30 Sons Of Maria - It Takes So Long 22:26 Disclosure Feat. London Grammar - Help Me Lose My Mind 22:26 C H I L L T R A X - Tcc Warm And Tender Ocean 22:21 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 22:18 Andre Aguado - Through The Night 22:14 Holen - Breathe 22:11 Charles Webster Feat. Shara Nelson - This Is Real 22:11 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 22:07 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 22:04 Flexible Fire - Amatista 22:00 Fkj Feat. Little Dragon - Can't Stop 21:56 Cinnamon Chasers - Surviving The Fire 21:56 C H I L L T R A X - Retsyn 21:52 Jako Diaz & Leyet - Only You 21:49 Harvey & Oscuro - You're All I Want 21:44 Palladian - Zagara 21:40 Kelela - Enough For Love 21:35 Groove Armada - History (M3 And Bachelors Of Science Remix) 21:34 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 21:29 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 21:25 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 21:20 Alampa - Lush Dance 21:15 Two Lanes - Movement 21:15 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 21:12 Tep No & Noak Hellsing - I Won’t Need You 21:08 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 21:03 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 20:59 Aparde - Know You 20:59 C H I L L T R A X - We Are The Music Makers 20:55 Floa & Phonic Youth - Falling Away 20:52 Morcheeba - The Moon (Kutiman Remix - Version B) 20:48 Parra For Cuva Feat. Kyson & Beau Diako - Ordel 20:44 Pableno - Heights 20:39 Massive Attack Feat. Hope Sandoval - The Spoils 20:39 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 20:35 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 20:32 Leisure Feat. Muroki - Summer Season 20:28 Approaching Black - New Life 20:24 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 20:21 Satin Jackets Feat. Mandy Jones - In This Life 20:20 C H I L L T R A X - Ct The Backward Chillout Channel 20:17 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 20:14 Ben Bohmer Feat. Jonah - Home 20:10 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 20:06 Woven - Brushes 20:03 Emmit Fenn - --amman 20:03 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 19:58 Pines Feat. Akacia - History 19:55 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 19:52 Blonde Maze - Daydream (Otherwise Fine Remix) 19:49 Cannons - Loving You 19:45 Gramatik - Muy Tranquilo 19:45 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 19:40 Nicholas Gunn & Alina Renae - Angel Eyes 19:34 Washed Out - Hide (Amtrac Remix) 19:30 Fakear - Crystal 19:26 53 Thieves - Lyd 19:21 Sound Quelle & Tailor - Where We Should Be 19:21 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 19:18 Giants' Nest - Flower Burst 19:15 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 19:11 Shallou & Daya - Older 19:06 Billion Watchers - Rainman 19:02 Steven Weston Feat. Lapsley - Like I Used To 18:57 Ry X & Olafur Arnalds - Colorblind (Whomadewho Remix) 18:56 C H I L L T R A X - Comes To Chill Out 18:52 Sao Miguel Feat. Sebastian Reynoso - Hope In Balance (Wisternoff-grant Remix) 18:48 Two Lanes - Searching (Ct Fixup Mix) 18:44 Chris Malinchak - When The World Stops Turning (Quiet Mix) 18:40 Jean Vayat & Evelynka - My Soul 18:36 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 18:36 C H I L L T R A X - Cleanliness Don't You Agree 18:32 Kidnap & Pinkpirate - Things Change 18:28 Farius - A Big Life (Sound Quelle Remix) 18:23 Sons Of Maria - Outbound 18:18 Double Touch Feat. Reigan - All I Want 18:18 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 18:13 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 18:09 Melosense - Nous 18:05 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Let's Get It Right 18:01 Everything But The Girl - Caution To The Wind 17:57 Shingo Nakamura - Focus 17:56 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 17:52 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 17:47 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Diana Miro - You 17:42 Blank & Jones - Floatation 17:38 Satin Jackets & Panama - The Future 17:34 Maya Jane Coles - Weak 17:34 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 17:29 Eric Hilton Feat. Brian Jackson - Something For Byrd 17:26 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 17:23 Eli & Fur - Wild Skies 17:18 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 17:18 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 17:14 Eloi El - Stick Together (Blonde Maze Remix) 17:11 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 17:07 Holen - Not Too Late 17:02 Nox Vahn & Marsh - Come Together 17:02 C H I L L T R A X - Jimpster 1 16:58 Alampa - Playoff 16:55 Emmit Fenn - What Falling In Love Is For 16:51 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson, Oli Hannaford - Yearn 16:48 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 16:44 Bob Moses - Enough To Believe 16:44 C H I L L T R A X - Valante Io Toh 16:39 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 16:35 Blonde Maze - When You Move 16:31 Bonsaye - Kismet 16:28 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 16:24 Khotin & Tess Roby - Fountain, Growth 16:24 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax 16:18 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 16:15 Boerd Feat. Stella Explorer - Before We Drown 16:10 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 16:06 Il:lo - Ink 16:02 Lapsley - Levitate 16:02 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 15:58 Westseven Feat. Angus Powell - Go Right Through (Sound Quelle Remix) 15:55 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 15:50 Chris Malinchak - Saving My Love 15:47 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 15:43 Melosense - Explore 15:43 C H I L L T R A X - Cool Refreshed Smooth As Can Be 15:38 Reel People & Muhsinah - Something New (Kraak & Smaak Remix) 15:33 Royksopp Feat. Pixx - How The Flowers Grow 15:29 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 15:26 Mango & Cloudcage - More Than This 15:22 Fabio Vee & Mike D' Jais - Consolation 15:22 C H I L L T R A X - Organ The Chillout Channel 15:17 Above And Beyond - Sun In Your Eyes (William Orbit Remix) 15:14 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 15:09 Blank & Jones - Alone In This Rhythm (Ben Macklin Remix) 15:05 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 15:01 Leisure - Be With You 14:57 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 14:57 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 14:53 Everything But The Girl - Forever 14:49 Christian Loffler Feat. Menke - Lys 14:46 Odesza Feat. Maro - Better Now 14:41 Sons Of Maria - It Takes So Long 14:37 Washed Out - Far Away 14:37 C H I L L T R A X - Take Me Away! 14:32 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 14:28 Kelela - Contact 14:25 Rocket Empire - Lima 14:20 Ry X & Olafur Arnalds - Oceans 14:20 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 14:16 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 14:13 Dreem - Miles Away 14:09 Embliss & Lumynesynth - Phases Of The Moon 14:06 Jones Meadow - Expect 14:02 Shingo Nakamura - Falling Off 14:02 C H I L L T R A X - Trans Europe Vocoder 13:56 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 13:52 Tsha - I Know 13:47 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 13:43 Armin Van Buuren & Matoma Feat Teddy Swims - Easy To Love 13:39 Morcheeba - Never Undo 13:39 C H I L L T R A X - Backward Rvb Where World Comes 13:36 Sum Wave - Milkyway 13:32 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 13:26 Baile & Haulm - Knows No End 13:22 Two Lanes - Movement 13:21 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 13:18 53 Thieves - Waves 13:15 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 13:11 Tomb - Unbound 13:06 Sumsuch Feat. Matty Eeles - Find Home (Vincenzo Remix) 13:06 C H I L L T R A X - Fresh And Fascinating 13:02 Floa & Phonic Youth - Falling Away 12:58 Jos & Eli & Eli & Fur - Riffs Of The Night 12:55 Emmit Fenn - The Chase 12:51 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 12:46 Classic Unknwn & Lipless - Be With You 12:46 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 12:41 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 12:37 Deep Sound Effect Feat. Svetlana Voice - Dreaming About You (Dj Aristocrat Remix) 12:32 Vincenzo - Chroma Rush 12:29 Cannons - Loving You 12:24 Dj San & Sebastian Moore - In Your Eyes 12:24 C H I L L T R A X - Twcc High Standard Of Quality 12:21 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 12:17 Indigo Eyes Feat. Kehina - All Over Again (Remix) 12:14 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 12:11 Giants' Nest - Heart Void 12:07 Vandelux - Tulum 12:07 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 12:03 Washed Out - Too Late 12:00 Flexible Fire - Amatista 11:56 Tep No - Say What You Wanted 11:53 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 11:48 Tycho - Receiver 11:48 C H I L L T R A X - We Are The Music Makers 11:44 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 11:39 Ross Couch - On Fire (Downtempo Mix) 11:34 Il:lo - Cynnes 11:31 Lapsley - 32 Floors 11:27 Che Jose Feat. Jodie Knight - Freedom (Mass Digital Remix Edit) 11:27 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 11:23 Rohne - Flicker (Faodail Remix) 11:18 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 11:13 Joy Orbison Feat. Lea Sen - Better 11:08 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 11:04 Blonde Maze - Night Light (Hessian Remix) 10:59 Northern Form - Mend 10:59 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel Redux 10:55 Sum Wave - Moments Of Sundown 10:52 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 10:47 Zhu & Yuna - Sky Is Crying 10:43 Lp Giobbi Feat. Dj Tennis & Joseph Ashworth - All In A Dream 10:40 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 10:35 Bob Moses - Tearing Me Up (Rac Mix) 10:35 C H I L L T R A X - Tcc Warm And Tender Ocean 10:31 Xixi Feat. Kwesi - Close To U 10:27 Leisure - Take You Higher (Serebii & Arjuna Oakes Remix) 10:23 Heard Right & Fløa - Enough 10:18 A.m.r & Lumynesynth - Unfinished 10:18 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 10:15 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 10:11 Melosense - Nous 10:06 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Derek Luttrell - Lose Control 10:01 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - It's Enough (The Last High) 09:57 Bonsaye - Viaje 09:57 C H I L L T R A X - Parents Magazine Seal 09:53 Everything But The Girl - Run A Red Light 09:50 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson - Riptide 09:46 Arto - Now You're Gone 09:41 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Julia Church - 9 Days 09:38 Zimmer Feat. Panama - Wildflowers 09:37 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 09:34 Approaching Black - Sensitive 09:30 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 09:26 53 Thieves - Heights 09:21 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 09:21 C H I L L T R A X - Valante Io Toh 09:16 Mass Digital - Thoughts Of U 09:12 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 09:06 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 09:01 Monolink - Take Me Away 09:01 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 08:57 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 08:54 Jimpster & Oliver Night - Ascension 08:50 Billie Eilish - Everything I Wanted (Aquadrop Remix) 08:46 Pableno - Heights 08:40 Roisin Murphy - Incapable 08:40 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 08:36 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 08:32 Cannons - Fire For You 08:28 Giants' Nest - Storm Trap 08:24 Two Lanes - Searching (Ct Fixup Mix) 08:20 Cinnamon Chasers - Surviving The Fire 08:19 C H I L L T R A X - World Comes To Chilltrax.com 08:16 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 08:13 Henry Green - Realign 08:10 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 08:06 Flexible Fire - Marea Turquesa 08:02 Royksopp - Me&youphoria 08:02 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 07:58 Little Dragon - Water 07:53 Leaving Laurel - There Is Beauty When You Allow Yourself To See 07:48 Sg Lewis - Lifetime 07:44 Alampa - Playoff 07:40 Rohne - Ceres 07:40 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 07:36 Jako Diaz & Leyet - Only You 07:31 Genix & Zashanell - All I Want (Chill Out Mix) 07:27 Rocket Empire - Astoria 07:22 Mango - Skyline 07:18 Elderbrook - The End 07:18 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 07:14 Tescana - Benissa 07:10 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 07:06 Kc Lights Feat. Leo Stannard - Cold Light (6am Remix) 07:02 Fakear - Crystal 06:57 Above & Beyond & Marty Longstaff - Gratitude (Aname Pm Mix) 06:53 Evelynka - Letting Go 06:53 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 06:48 Zaven - Passive Activity (Evren Furtuna Remix) 06:45 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 06:40 Teemid - L.a. 06:37 Pines Feat. Fractures - Rewrite The Ending 06:32 Sons Of Maria - It Takes So Long 06:27 Washed Out - Hard To Say Goodbye (Lone Remix) 06:27 C H I L L T R A X - Retsyn 06:24 Kidnap & Pinkpirate - Things Change 06:20 Tep No Feat. Starzun - Hold Me 06:17 Sultan Shepard - Sirens 06:13 Drama - Don't Hold Back 06:13 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 06:09 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 06:06 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 06:02 Blonde Maze - A Break In Continuity (Forty Cats Remix) 05:57 Phello - Timelapse 05:53 Two Lanes - Ascend 05:53 C H I L L T R A X - Take Me Away! 05:48 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 05:45 Zimmer Feat. Panama - Make It Happen 05:40 Billion Watchers - Rainman 05:36 Andrew Nagy & Joel Winterflood - Little To None 05:31 Vok - Figure (Wax Wings Remix) 05:31 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel, Chilltrax 05:26 Jones Meadow - Fences 05:23 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 05:19 Edapollo Feat. Akacia - Run 05:16 Dreem - Miles Away 05:16 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 05:13 Forester - Saint (Shallou Remix) 05:10 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 05:04 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 05:01 Cannons - Hurricane 05:01 C H I L L T R A X - Jimpster 1 04:57 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 04:53 Passenger 10 - Voices In Her Head 04:50 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Spell 04:46 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 04:40 Royksopp - Something In My Heart 04:40 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 04:35 Nicholas Gunn & Alina Renae - Angel Eyes 04:32 Mansionair & Kim Tee - Next High 04:28 Arto - Para Mi 04:24 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 04:19 Odesza Feat. Olafur Arnalds - Light Of Day (Parra For Cuva Remix) 04:19 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 04:16 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 04:12 Embrz Feat. Abroad - Rise 04:07 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 04:03 Sons Of Maria - Outbound 03:59 Flume Feat. Emma Louise - Hollow (Logic1000 Remix) 03:59 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 03:55 Avira & Nourey Feat. Tom Bailey - Favourite Game 03:51 Flexible Fire - Amatista 03:47 Attom & Kwesi - Rogue 03:43 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 03:38 Slow Hearts - Endora 03:38 C H I L L T R A X - Cleanliness Don't You Agree 03:32 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 03:29 Drama - 3am 03:26 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 03:22 Alex Hook Feat. Rene - You Showed Me 03:17 Chris Malinchak, Kiesza, Malin - Tree 03:17 C H I L L T R A X - Be Svendsen World Comes 03:14 Aether - Jupiter & Saturn 03:10 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 03:07 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 03:03 Fabio Vee & Mike D' Jais - Consolation 02:59 Jones Meadow - Need You Now 02:59 C H I L L T R A X - Trans Europe Vocoder 02:53 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 02:50 London Grammar - Lose Your Head 02:45 Blank & Jones - Floatation 02:41 Lipless & Blue Noir - Alone 02:36 John Monkman Feat. Liz Cass - Open Frontier 02:36 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 02:31 Eric Hilton Feat. Brian Jackson - Something For Byrd 02:28 Floa & Phonic Youth - Falling Away 02:22 Syml & Zero 7 - Symmetry (Zero 7 Remix) 02:18 Melosense - Nous 02:18 C H I L L T R A X - Valante Io Toh 02:15 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Gordi - No One Else 02:10 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 02:07 Odsen - Retrospective 02:02 Double Touch Feat. Reigan - Greatest Day 02:01 C H I L L T R A X - Cool Refreshed Smooth As Can Be 01:58 Cannons - Loving You 01:53 Shingo Nakamura - Come Closer 01:49 Catz 'n Dogz Feat. Jaw - Time 01:46 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 01:40 Lane 8 Feat. Lulu James - Loving You (Moon Boots Remix) 01:40 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 01:35 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 01:31 Nightcap - The Two Of Us (We Only Need) 01:27 Valante - Eio 01:22 Two Lanes - Searching (Ct Fixup Mix) 01:18 Khotin & Tess Roby - Fountain, Growth 01:18 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax 01:14 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 01:08 Nicolas Godin Feat. Cola Boyy - The Foundation 01:05 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 01:02 Holen - Not Too Late 00:58 Edapollo - Standing There 00:58 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 00:54 Hoki - Memories Of Love (Dsf Remix) 00:49 Sons Of Maria - It Takes So Long 00:44 Darius Feat. Benny Sings - Rise (Darius Remix) 00:40 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 00:35 Leaving Laurel - Take Your Time (Extended Mix) 00:35 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 00:31 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 00:27 Vok - Skin 00:23 Palladian - Zagara 00:19 Emmit Fenn & Shallou - Hollow 00:14 Ry X & Olafur Arnalds - Colorblind (Whomadewho Remix) 00:14 C H I L L T R A X - Ct The Backward Chillout Channel 00:09 Deep Lo - Lost In You (Soire Remix) 00:05 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 00:02 Chris Malinchak - Cellophane

[prose-for-hire]

A rose between two thorns

Pairing: Spike x fem!reader; Angel x fem!reader

Request: Not requested. Been sitting in my drafts forever I wasn’t sure about posting. Reader works at Wolfram and Hart and knew Angel and Spike from Sunnydale. They’re both vying for reader’s affections but the pair soon find out her attention is elsewhere.

A/N: S5 Angel. Spike and Angel in a pissing contest over someone? Say it ain’t so. Reader is popular with men lol. Also, I’d say Spangel was subtext, but it’s just plain text really.

You noticed something was off as soon as you came in that morning. There was an unusual vibe, which, was saying something seeing as you worked at a mystical law firm. You had taken over PA duties from Harmony, considering Angel and the others trusted you a bit more than her. You were human, but you had faced anything the Hellmouth had thrown at you with the others you met in high school. You had been there at the final battle of Sunnydale, just about surviving and then moving to LA to become a receptionist. Which had been the job you had kept applying for without luck when you lived in Sunnydale. Sometimes, life does have a way of working itself out even though you might have to stake a few uber vampires or sell your soul to a mystical law firm for it to happen.

You caught Fred hissing something to Angel before leaving his office, smiling at you kindly before she left. She also stopped and pulled on Spike’s sleeve and brought him down to her lab with her, leaving you waving your good morning greeting. You went through your usual routine, eventually walking up to Angel’s office, knocking first before smiling at him, a newspaper, some files and a mug of blood in your hands.

“Hey, I’ve got the files you asked for and I warmed your blood up to the temperature you like” You smile pleasantly, setting the items down, you were really grateful to Angel for giving you a job. He had always been nice to you (apart from that brief period in high school where he tried to violently kill you). “Thanks, y/n, what would I do without you, huh?” “Probably getting double-crossed by Harmony given half the chance” You smiled and he laughed a little too hard at your flippant comment. It shocked you, his face rarely twisted into a smile let alone a real laugh. You smiled along, a little perplexed at his change in attitude. “How you doin’ then? I mean adjusting- you know, outside the Hellmouth” “It’s been okay, it’s surprisingly similar here. Kind of a home from home” You smiled as he nodded along, as if he were being given guidance from an invisible director on how to visibly show how interested he was. If you were honest, it was a bit weird, “Are you okay Angel?” “yeah- why? What’s up? Have I- are you comfortable?” “Um, I’m at work, so comfort isn’t really the main reason I’m here… mostly I come in to see your face” You joked, grinning at him as he smiled a little. He noticed you were trying to put him at ease and realised he had probably come across a bit strange.

You walked back out of the office smiling as Angel watched you walk out, mentally face-palming. His luck with potential partners had been pretty hopeless and you made him nervous in a way he wasn’t really used to. Fred had enough of him skirting around you so had given him non-negotiable advice. She told him to be kind, listen and to make sure he showed a genuine interest. 

You sat down, sifting through paperwork and trying to keep yourself away from the half-read magazine under your desk that you liked to sneak glances at when Angel was out. You were interrupted from looking busy by a British accent.

“Alright, pet? That’s a very pretty outfit you got on, it new?” Spike asked, leaning over your desk as he waited for word from the others on the latest case. He enjoyed spending time with you though, he had tried all his best lines out on you so he had resorted to just complimenting anything about you he could find.

“No, you’ve seen me in this before” You reminded him, pressing hold on a few calls. He tried to recall, a frown on his face, “That time you could walk about in the sun? I was going to a job interview - you tried to bite me and you told me I looked like a meringue” you reminded him.

“See? I even liked it then” He offered.

“You were being rude then, Spike. But thanks for the compliment, I appreciate it – really” You assured him, noticing his furrow as he thought back to how he had been before he got his soul. Angel saw Spike talking to you through the glass of his office. He groaned, knowing that Spike was trying to sweet talk you again. He got frustrated when Spike muscled in on the people he was interested in. You enjoyed the attention you got from them both, but it started to get a bit annoying when you were all in the same room. They tended to actually ignore you for each other, always trying to out-do the other. It was tiring and it distracted you from your work, but you couldn’t help still being fond of them both when you could speak to them normally. Spike had been talking and you were smiling along, he had a good sense of humour and he had been making jokes about some of the people walking past that made you snort loud. He grinned at this, segueing into what he had really wanted to ask.

“You got plans tonight then, love? ‘Cause I was thinkin-” Spike started, but Angel had come up behind him to interrupt his advances.

“Stop bothering my employees, Spike. Y/n’s very busy”

“Yeah, she’s been holding all your calls. Takes a lot out of our girl pressing buttons all day, I was thinking I’d treat her later-”

For some reason, both of them became double confident when they were together in the room, despite them both being weirdly reserved around you recently. There was a tension and both of them were competing together. Enjoying the competition more than your company, it seemed. You tuned their squabbling out, a talent that should come in your job description as you started to type up a few notes from a case.

“You know he used to parade around in an SS jacket?” Angel cut in, crossing his arms and standing nearer to you behind your desk. Spike glared at him.

“Yes, I heard when I was tied up almost choking to death – this job should really come with better health insurance”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I can look into it” Angel suddenly said, straightening up and remembering he was actually your boss.

“Don’t think you can get in her knickers just by flashing your big CEO title around and get her better health insurance” Spike warned, turning to you briefly to assure you that, “I can get you health insurance, love, just tell me where to point my game face”

“Excuse me, into my what?” Your eyes widened, it had been escalating but this was just rude. This is where you worked.

“Not now, Y/n, Spike’s being an idiot for, oh, the hundredth consecutive year of his un-life” You glared at them both, took your jacket and left to go and vent to someone in a different department. This was typical. Fighting over you as if you were some prize to be won. They like you but apparently, they were more interested in each other. You were just their most recent way to get one over on the other and make the tension almost unbearable.

You only returned late afternoon having avoided the vampires for the rest of the day. Angel and Spike looked a bit embarrassed as they saw you slamming angel’s mug on his desk, splattering blood on one of his files. Spike came into the office and the three of you looked at each other in an icy silence. They both opened their mouths at the same time, then stopped realising the other was going to speak. “I need to leave early is that okay?” You ask before they tried to apologise again. “Yeah, sure. Why?” Angel asked. “I’ve got a date” you shrugged, walking out with them both staring after you. They watched you through the glass and saw Gunn come up behind you and ask if you were ready to go. You smiled as he asked about your day with a genuine interest, listening to what you had been up to. You chatted and you even giggled a little and the vampires scowled at the way you seemed to light up in a way neither of them had been able to get out of you.

“What the bloody hell has Dr franken-chip got that we don’t!?” Spike muttered referring to the upgrade Gunn had to become a lawyer, “If I’d known that’s what she was into I’d have kept mine in a sodding jar and brought her home on the promise of touching it”

“Spike. Stop” Angel warned as they both watched you leave, Gunn’s hand on the small of your back.

“No, I mean it! What does he have!?”

“A life?” Angel sighed, before stating, “This is good. I’m happy for them”

“No you’re bloody not, Mr tall dark and forehead has to look for another chit to obsess over now”

“You’re one to talk, Spike. I found the poems you wrote” He muttered.

“You bloody git-” Spike started but Angel had already stalked out of his office to get to one of his cars before Spike could catch up to him. Spike started to follow him out before he could get much of a head-start though. How come through everything it was always each other they ended up with at the end of the day?

[spuffybot]

Ok but like let me tell you more about why the found family vibes on Angel get me every time.

This group of troubled people with so much family baggage managed to build a home together. With trust and love.

Cordelia, for all her privilege never felt like she belonged. Her family didn’t really care about her. The cordettes didn’t really know her. The Scoobies were the closest she ever got to having friends but pride (and Xander’s betrayal) kept her from ever truly letting them in. She only ever had herself to rely on.

Wes has spent his whole life drowning under the expectations of a father who will never be satisfied. His one driving force in life was to prove himself, and he failed. The Council didn’t want him. The scoobies didn’t want him. Faith didn’t want him. He’s probably felt alone for his entire life.

Angel literally spent 100 years isolated and cut off from the world, drowning in guilt. Before that he was an angry, lonely young man who was a disappointment to his family and was killed before he ever got a chance to change. As a vampire he did horrible things. He tried to find redemption with Buffy only to destroy her and himself. He doesn’t think he’s worth saving.

Gunn believes it’s him against the world. Losing his sister was losing his last lifeline, his last bit of hope. He doesn’t know how to be the leader his crew needs and he doesn’t know where he fits in the world. He’s smart and capable in a world designed to tear him down.

Fred is deeply traumatized. Her experiences not only isolated her from her family, friends, and home, but they forced her to wall off her mind in order to survive. She can barely function at times and doesn’t know how to exist in a world that was lost to her for 5 years.

This band of misfit toys somehow manages to find one another, rally around a mission to help people, and slowly become one another’s support systems. This group has seen one another through good and bad and they would die for each other in a heartbeat, but not without a fight.

I love their interactions, their family dinners, they way they bicker and fight and look out for one another.

The show has SO MANY FLAWS but the group dynamic and love was not one of them.

[unknown-songs]

BLACK LIVES MATTER

A list with black artists who have a song in the Unknown Songs That Should Be Known-playlist (Can be a black artist in a band or just solo-artist) (no specific genre)

Bull’s Eye - Blacknuss, Prince Prime - Funk Aftershow - Joe Fox - Alternative Hip-hop Strangers in the Night - Ben L’Oncle Soul - Soul Explore - Mack Wilds - R&B Something To Do - IGBO - Funk

Down With The Trumpets - Rizzle Kicks - Pop Dans ta ville - Dub Inc. - Reggae Dance or Die - Brooklyn Funk Essentials - Funk FACELESS - The PLAYlist, Glenn Lewis - R&B Tell Me Father - Jeangu Macrooy - Soul

Southern Boy - John The Conquerer - Blues Hard Rock Savannah Grass - Kes - Dancehall Dr. Funk - The Main Squeeze - Funk Seems I’m Never Tired of Loving You - Lizz Wright - Jazz Out of My Hands - TheColorGrey, Oddisee - Hip-Hop/Pop

Raised Up in Arkansas - Michael Burks - Blues Black Times - Sean Kuti, Egypt 80, Carlos Santana - Afrobeat Cornerstone - Benjamin Clementine - Indie Shine On - R.I.O., Madcon - Electronic Pop Bass On The Line - Bernie Worrell - Funk

When We Love - Jhené Aiko - R&B Need Your Love - Curtis Harding - Soul Too Dry to Cry - Willis Earl Beal - Folk Your House - Steel Pulse - Reggae Power - Moon Boots, Black Gatsby - Deep House

Vinyl Is My Bible - Brother Strut - Funk Diamond - Izzy Biu - R&B Elusive - blackwave., David Ngyah - Hip-hop Don’t Ever Let Nobody Drag Your Spirit Down - Heritage Blues Orchestra - Blues Sastanàqqàm - Tinariwen - Psychedelic Rock

Disco To Go - Brides of Funkenstein - Funk/Soul Circles - Durand Jones & The Indications - Retro Pop Cheesin’ - Cautious Clay, Remi Wolf, sophie meiers - R&B Changes - Charles Bradley - Soul The Sweetest Sin - RAEVE - House

Gyae Su - Pat Thomas, Kwashibu Area Band - Funk What Am I to Do - Ezra Collective, Loyle Carner - Hip-hop Get Your Groove On - Cedric Burnside - Blues Old Enough To Know Better - Steffen Morrisson - Soul Wassiye - Habib Koité - Khassonke musique

Dance Floor - Zapp - Funk Wake Up - Brass Against, Sophia Urista - Brass Hard-Rock BIG LOVE - Black Eyed Peas - Pop The Greatest - Raleigh Ritchie - R&B DYSFUNCTIONAL - KAYTRANADA, VanJess - Soul

See You Leave - RJD2, STS, Khari Mateen - Hip-hop Sing A Simple Song - Maceo Parker - Jazz/Funk Have Mercy - Eryn Allen Kane - Soul Homenage - Brownout - Latin Funk Can’t Sleep - Gary Clark Jr. - Blues Rock

Toast - Koffee - Dancehall Freedom - Ester Dean - R&B Iskaba - Wande Coal, DJ Tunez - Afropop High Road - Anthony Riley - Alternative Christian Sunny Days - Sabrina Starke - Soul

The Talking Fish - Ibibio Sound Machine - Funk Paralyzed - KWAYE - Indie Purple Heart Blvd - Sebastian Kole - Pop WORSHIP - The Knocks, MNEK - Deep House BMO - Ari Lennox - R&B

Promises - Myles Sanko - Soul .img - Brother Theodore - Funk Singing the Blues - Ruthie Foster, Meshell Ndegeocello - Blues Nobody Like You - Amartey, SBMG, The Livingtons - Hip-hop Starship - Afriquoi, Shabaka Hutchings, Moussa Dembele - Deep House

Lay My Troubles Down - Aaron Taylor - Funk  Bloodstream - Tokio Myers - Classic Sticky - Ravyn Lenae - R&B Why I Try - Jalen N’Gonda - Soul Motivation - Benjamin Booker - Folk

quand c’est - Stromae - Pop Let Me Down (Shy FX Remix) - Jorja Smith, Stormzy, SHY FX - Reggae Funny - Gerald Levert - R&B Salt in my Wounds - Shemekia Copeland - Blues Our Love - Samm Henshaw - Soul

Make You Feel That Way - Blackalicious - Jazz Hip-hop Knock Me Out - Vintage Trouble - Funk Take the Time - Ronald Bruner, Jr., Thundercat - Alternative Thru The Night - Phonte, Eric Roberson - R&B Keep Marchin’ - Raphael Saadiq - Soul

Shake Me In Your Arms - Taj Mahal, Keb’ Mo’ - Blues Meet Me In The Middle - Jodie Abascus - Pop Raise Hell - Sir the Baptist, ChurchPpl - Gospel Pop Mogoya - Oumou Sangaré - Wassoulou Where’s Yesterday - Slakah The Beatchild - Hip-hop

Lose My Cool - Amber Mark - R&B New Funk - Big Sam’s Funky Nation - Funk I Got Love - Nate Dogg - Hip-hop Nothing’s Real But Love - Rebecca Ferguson - Soul Crazy Race - The RH Factor - Jazz

Spies Are Watching Me - Voilaaa, Sir Jean - Funk The Leaders - Boka de Banjul - Afrobeat Fast Lane - Rationale - House Conundrum - Hak Baker - Folk Don’t Make It Harder On Me - Chloe x Halle - R&B

Plastic Hamburgers - Fantastic Negrito - Hardrock Beyond - Leon Bridges - Pop God Knows - Dornik - Soul Soleil de volt - Baloji - Afrofunk Do You Remember - Darryl Williams, Michael Lington - Jazz Get Back - McClenney - Alternative Three Words - Aaron Marcellus - Soul

Spotify playlist 

In memory of:

Aaron Bailey Adam Addie Mae Collins Ahmaud Arbery Aiyana Stanley Jones Akai Gurley Alberta Odell Jones Alexia Christian Alfonso Ferguson Alteria Woods Alton Sterling Amadou Diallo Amos Miller Anarcha Westcott Anton de Kom Anthony Hill Antonio Martin Antronie Scott Antwon Rose Jr. Arthur St. Clair Atatiana Jefferson Aubrey Pollard Aura Rosser Bennie Simons Berry Washington Bert Dennis Bettie Jones Betsey Billy Ray Davis Bobby Russ Botham Jean Brandon Jones Breffu Brendon Glenn Breonna Taylor Bud Johnson Bussa

Calin Roquemore Calvin McDowell Calvin Mike and his family Carl Cooper Carlos Carson Carlotta Lucumi Carol Denise McNair Carol Jenkins Carole Robertson Charles Curry Charles Ferguson Charles Lewis Charles Wright Charly Leundeu Keunang Chime Riley Christian Taylor Christopher Sheels Claude Neal Clementa Pickney Clifford Glover Clifton Walker Clinton Briggs Clinton R. Allen Cordella Stevenson Corey Carter Corey Jones Cynthia Marie Graham Hurd Cynthia Wesley

Daniel L. Simmons Danny Bryant Darius Randell Robinson Darius Tarver Darrien Hunt Darrius Stewart David Felix David Joseph David McAtee David Walker and his family Deandre Brunston Deborah Danner Delano Herman Middleton Demarcus Semer Demetrius DuBose Depayne Middleton-Doctor Dion Johnson Dominique Clayton Dontre Hamilton Dred Scott

Edmund Scott Ejaz Choudry Elbert Williams Eleanor Bumpurs Elias Clayton Elijah McClain Eliza Woods Elizabeth Lawrence Elliot Brooks Ellis Hudson Elmer Jackson Elmore Bolling Emantic Fitzgerald Bradford Jr. Emmett Till Eric Garner Eric Harris Eric Reason Ernest Lacy Ernest Thomas Ervin Jones Eugene Rice Eugene Williams Ethel Lee Lance Ezell Ford

Felix Kumi Frank Livingston Frank Morris Frank Smart Frazier B. Baker Fred Hampton Fred Rochelle Fred Temple Freddie Carlos Gray Jr.

George Floyd George Grant George Junius Stinney Jr. George Meadows George Waddell George Washington Lee Gregory Gunn

Harriette Vyda Simms Moore Harry Tyson Moore Hazel “Hayes” Turner Henry Ezekial Smith Henry Lowery Henry Ruffin Henry Scott Hosea W. Allen

India Kager Isaac McGhie Isadore Banks Italia Marie Kelly

Jack Turner Jamar Clark Jamel Floyd James Byrd Jr. James Craig Anderson James Earl Chaney James Powell James Ramseur James Tolliver James T. Scott Janet Wilson Jason Harrison Javier Ambler J.C. Farmer Jemel Roberson Jerame Reid Jesse Thornton Jessie Jefferson Jim Eastman Joe Nathan Roberts John Cecil Jones John Crawford III John J. Gilbert John Ruffin John Taylor Johnny Robinson Jonathan Ferrell Jonathan Sanders Jordan Edwards Joseph Mann Julia Baker Julius Jones July Perry Junior Prosper

Kalief Browder Karvas Gamble Jr. Keith Childress, Jr. Kelly Gist Kelso Benjamin Cochrane Kendrick Johnson Kenneth Chamberlain Sr. Kenny Long Kevin Hicks Kevin Matthews Kiwane Albert Carrington

Lacy Mitchell Lamar Smith Laquan McDonald Laura Nelson Laura Wood L.B. Reed L.D. Nelson Lemuel Penn Lemuel Walters Leonard Deadwyler Leroy Foley Levi Harrington Lila Bella Carter Lloyd Clay Louis Allen Lucy

M.A. Santa Cruz Maceo Snipes Malcom X Malice Green Malissa Williams Manuel Ellis Marcus Deon Smith Marcus Foster Marielle Franco Mark Clark Maria Martin Lee Anderson Martin Luther King Jr. Matthew Avery Mary Dennis Mary Turner Matthew Ajibade May Noyes Mckenzie Adams Medgar Wiley Evers Michael Brown Michael Donald Michael Griffith Michael Lee Marshall Michael Lorenzo Dean Michael Noel Michael Sabbie Michael Stewart Michelle Cusseaux Miles Hall Moses Green Mya Hall Myra Thompson

Nathaniel Harris Pickett Jr. Natasha McKenna Nicey Brown Nicholas Heyward Jr.

O’Day Short family Orion Anderson Oscar Grant III Otis Newsom

Pamela Turner Paterson Brown Jr. Patrick Dorismond Philando Castile Phillip Pannell Phillip White Phinizee Summerour

Quaco

Ramarley Graham Randy Nelson Raymond Couser Raymond Gunn Regis Korchinski-Paquet Rekia Boyd Renisha McBride Riah Milton Robert Hicks Robert Mallard Robert Truett Rodney King Roe Nathan Roberts Roger Malcolm and his wife Roger Owensby Jr. Ronell Foster Roy Cyril Brooks Rumain Brisbon Ryan Matthew Smith

Sam Carter Sam McFadden Samuel DuBose Samuel Ephesians Hammond Jr. Samuel Hammond Jr. Samuel Leamon Younge Jr. Sandra Bland Sean Bell Shali Tilson Sharonda Coleman-Singleton Shukri Abdi Simon Schuman Slab Pitts Stella Young Stephon Clark Susie Jackson

T.A. Allen Tamir Rice Tamla Horsford Tanisha Anderson Timothy Caughman Timothy Hood Timothy Russell Timothy Stansbury Jr. Timothy Thomas Terrence Crutcher Terrill Thomas Tom Jones Tom Moss Tony McDade Tony Terrell Robinson Jr. Trayvon Martin Troy Hodge Troy Robinson Tula Tyler Gerth Tyre King Tywanza Sanders

Victor Duffy Jr. Victor White III

Walter Lamar Scott Wayne Arnold Jones Wesley Thomas Wilbert Cohen Wilbur Bundley Will Brown Will Head Will Stanley Will Stewart Will Thompson Willie James Howard Willie Johnson Willie McCoy Willie Palmer Willie Turks William Brooks William Butler William Daniels William Fambro William Green William L. Chapman II William Miller William Pittman Wyatt Outlaw

Yusef Kirriem Hawkins

The victims of LaLaurie (1830s) The black victims of the Opelousas massacre (1868) The black victims of the Thibodaux massacre (1887) The black victims of the Wilmington insurrection (1898) The black victims of the Johnson-Jeffries riots (1910) The black victims of the Red summer (1919) The black victims of the Elaine massacre (1919) The black victims of the Ocoee massacre (1920) The victims of the MOVE bombing (1985)

All the people who died during the Atlantic slave trade, be it due to abuse or disease.

All the unnamed victims of mass-incarceration, who were put into jail without the committing of a crime and died while in jail or died after due to mental illness. 

All the unnamed victims of racial violence and discrimination. 

...

My apologies for all the people missing on this list. Feel free to add more names and stories. 

Listen, learn and read about discrimination, racism and black history: (feel free to add more)  Documentaries: 13th (Netflix) The Innocence Files (Netflix) Who Killed Malcolm X? (Netflix) Time: The Kalief Browder Story (Netflix) I Am Not Your Negro

YouTube videos: We Cannot Stay Silent about George Floyd Waarom ook Nederlanders de straat op gaan tegen racisme (Dutch) Wit is ook een kleur (Dutch) (documentaire)

Books: Biased by Jennifer Eberhardt Don’t Touch My Hair by Emma Dabiri Freedom Is A Constant Struggle by Angela Davis How To Be An Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo They Can’t Kill Us All by Wesley Lowery White Fragility by Robin Deangelo Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge Woman, Race and Class by Angela Davis

Websites: https://lynchinginamerica.eji.org/report/ https://museumandmemorial.eji.org/ https://archive.org/details/thirtyyearsoflyn00nati/page/n11/mode/2up https://lab.nos.nl/projects/slavernij/index-english.html https://blacklivesmatter.com/ https://www.zinnedproject.org/

[newromanticsmuses]

Muse List

Newest Muses – Most recently added; especially looking for new interactions & very active

- Kenny McCormick (South Park) - Deandra “Dee” Reynolds (It’s Always Sunny) - Dream (Sandman--FC; Adrien Brody) - Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Primary Muses – Muses most often awake and active; always available

- Harry Potter (Harry Potter/Canon Divergent Adult & Slytherin AU) - Five Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) - Jean Grey (X-Men/Mix of XMCU & Evo Canon) - Allison Reynolds (The Breakfast Club) - Cordelia Chase (BTVS) - Asher Wyatt (I Bet You Think About Me OC; bio) - Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) - Max Mayfield (Stranger Things) - Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Secondary Muses – Muses that are usually awake and active; usually available

- Remus Lupin (Harry Potter/Single ship with kissofthemuses) - Ronald Weasley (Harry Potter) - Ella Lopez (Lucifer) - Diego Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) - Tara Maclay (BTVS) - Rupert Giles (BTVS) - Audrey Hope (Gossip Girl Reboot) - Gendry Baratheon (GOT/ASOIAF/Modern AU Available) - Jules Vaughn (Euphoria) - Ethan Golden (Euphoria) - Rahne Sinclair (X-men: New Mutants/Evo) - Dustin Henderson (Stranger Things) - Jonathan Byers (Stranger Things)

Obscure Muses Spotlight – Muses that lack muse because they lack interactions; available by request and I’m willing to tell you about them

- Sarah Finley (The L Word: Gen Q) - Patty O’Connor (Kevin can F*** Himself) - Toni Shalifoe (The Wilds) - Luna La (Gossip Girl Reboot) - Natalie (YellowJackets) - Dwayne Hoover (Little Miss Sunshine) - Wyatt Langmore (Ozark–Stranger Things Verse) - Wendy Byrde (Ozark)

Selective Muses – Muses that are picky and slower to reply with; available by request

- Richie Tozier (IT) - Stanley Uris (IT) - Peter Hayes (Divergent) - Charles Gunn (BTVS) - Lorne “The Host” (BTVS) - Paige Michalchuck (Degrassi: TNG) - Ellie Nash (Degrassi: TNG) - Henry Winter (The Secret History) - Proinsias “Cass” Cassidy (Preacher) - Petyr Baelish (GOT/ASOIAF/Modern AU Available) - Roy Kent (Ted Lasso) - Meriadoc Brandybuck (LOTR/Movie Canon) - Fezco (Euphoria) - Ashtray (Euphoria) - Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl; Reboot Verse Available) - Henry Tanaka (The Wilds)

Private Muses – Muses mostly written with one or several muns; IM to express interest

- Joey Potter (Dawson’s Creek) - Drue Valentine (Dawson’s Creek) - Ryan Atwood (The OC) - Fulton Reed (The Mighty Ducks) - Charlie Conway (The Might Ducks) - Mallory Higgins (Cruel Summer) - Percival Graves (Harry Potter/Canon Divergent) - Akeno Menzies (Gossip Girl Reboot) - Tom Wambsgans (Succession) - Mark S.(cout) (Severance) - Alan Zaveri (Russian Doll)

[mcsaiccfmusesa]

Muse List -- Mobile

Kinny // 21+ // Mutual Exclusive & Private Canon RP Blog

Links: Mobile Rules // OC RP Blog // Critical Role RP Blog

Fill out this muse interest checker when you follow 

Newest Muses – Most recently added; especially looking for new interactions & very active

- Henry Tanaka (The Wilds) - Rahne Sinclair (X-men: New Mutants/Evo) - Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) - Dustin Henderson (Stranger Things)  - Max Mayfield (Stanger Things) - Jonathan Byers (Stranger Things) - Steven Harrington (Stranger Things) - Wyatt Langmore (Ozark--Stranger Things Verse) - Wendy Byrde (Ozark)

Primary Muses – Muses most often awake and active; always available

- Harry Potter (Harry Potter/Canon Divergent Adult & Slytherin AU) - Five Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) - Jean Grey (X-Men/Mix of XMCU & Evo Canon) - Allison Reynolds (The Breakfast Club) - Cordelia Chase (BTVS) - Asher Wyatt (I Bet You Think About Me OC; bio) 

Secondary Muses – Muses that are usually awake and active; usually available

- Remus Lupin (Harry Potter/Single ship with kissofthemuses) - Ronald Weasley (Harry Potter) - Ella Lopez (Lucifer) - Diego Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) - Tara Maclay (BTVS) - Rupert Giles (BTVS) - Audrey Hope (Gossip Girl Reboot) - Gendry Baratheon (GOT/ASOIAF/Modern AU Available) - Jules Vaughn (Euphoria) - Ethan Golden (Euphoria) 

Obscure Muses Spotlight -- Muses that lack muse because they lack interactions; available by request and I’m willing to tell you about them

- Sarah Finley (The L Word: Gen Q) - Patty O’Connor (Kevin can F*** Himself) - Toni Shalifoe (The Wilds) - Luna La (Gossip Girl Reboot) - Natalie (YellowJackets) - Dwayne Hoover (Little Miss Sunshine) 

Selective Muses – Muses that are picky and slower to reply with; available by request

- Richie Tozier (IT) - Stanley Uris (IT) - Peter Hayes (Divergent) - Charles Gunn (BTVS) - Lorne “The Host” (BTVS) - Paige Michalchuk (Degrassi: TNG) - Ellie Nash (Degrassi: TNG) - Henry Winter (The Secret History) - Proinsias "Cass" Cassidy (Preacher) - Petyr Baelish (GOT/ASOIAF/Modern AU Available) - Roy Kent (Ted Lasso) - Meriadoc Brandybuck (LOTR/Movie Canon) - Fezco (Euphoria) - Ashtray (Euphoria) - Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl; Reboot Verse Available)

Private Muses – Muses mostly written with one or several muns; IM to express interest

- Joey Potter (Dawson’s Creek) - Drue Valentine (Dawson’s Creek) - Ryan Atwood (The OC) - Fulton Reed (The Mighty Ducks) - Charlie Conway (The Mighty Ducks) - Mallory Higgins (Cruel Summer) - Percival Graves (Harry Potter/Canon Divergent) - Akeno Menzies (Gossip Girl Reboot) - Tom Wambsgans (Succession) - Mark S.(cout) (Severance) - Alan Zaveri (Russian Doll)

[ex-vengeancedemon]

A Night at the Opera

Main Pairing: Cordelia Chase x Winifred Burkle

Characters: Cordelia Chase, Winifred (Fred) Burkle, Charles Gunn, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce

Summary: Set after Fred is rescued from Pylea and Angel is gone to grieve Buffy's death. Someone needs to help Fred come out of her shell - her shell being her room. Cordelia was making great progress... until she was hit with another head-splitting vision.

I guess there's a total of like 10 fanfictions on ao3 with this pairing (a shame) so I had to write it myself. Chapter 1 below cut. Read here or on ao3.

Chapter Index (out of 3):

Check Back for Updates

Chapter 1

"So," Gunn said, tapping his fingers on the front desk and looking over his shoulder. "Has she come out at all yet?"

Cordelia looked up from the case file she had been perusing and gave a wane smile. "I think she's making progress. She peaks her head out of her room sometimes now."

"Ah, yes," Wesley said. "Progress indeed."

The truth was that the hotel's new guest had been almost completely confined to her room since Angel had left. It was understandable. Winifred Burkle had been a captive of the dimension, Pylea, for the past 5 years, during which she spent her time living in a cave and writing on the walls. In a way, her room was her new cave... and she had yet to break the whole 'writing on walls' habit. Angel had been her savior, the one she trusted most. And he had left to take some time to... well, to mourn Buffy.

Cordy, Wes, and Gunn had been taking turns delivering food outside her door, primarily tacos. They would knock. She wouldn't answer. And they would leave the food on the floor outside. When they returned to check, the food would be gone. Cordelia had spotted her a few times from down the hall. Just glimpses here and there. Fred was still skittish, even of them.

"She can't stay up there forever," Gunn said, shaking his head. He stopped abruptly, as if reconsidering his prior statement. "She can't. Can she?"

Wesley sighed. "She spent five years in a cave with no plumbing. What's a month in a hotel room?"

Cordelia smiled and raised her pen. "With room service."

Gunn rolled his eyes, his eyes again wandering to the once grand staircase as if Fred might come walking down. "I don't know. It just doesn't seem like isolation is the way to help her reintegrate, you know?"

Wes nodded, but he seemed more focused on searching for a tome on the bookshelf than the conversation at hand. "Agreed."

"Well then," Cordelia said, turning to Gunn. "Why don't you go help reintegrate her then?"

Gunn shook his head. "Can't. Told Rondell I'd help him clean out a vamp nest setting up roots in the neighborhood. Gotta head out in an hour."

"Alright Wes, guess you're up to bat then," Cordelia amended.

"Hmm?" Wesley asked, looking up from a thick text coated in odd runic symbols. "What was that?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes and groaned. "Never mind!"

If you want something done... Guess she would have to be vision girl, office manager, detective, and guide to the newbie. That was fine. She could multitask.

Cordelia stood up from her desk, straightened her case files, and walked up the stairs like she knew exactly what she was going to do when she reached Fred's door.

She didn't.

When she reached Fred's door, she took a deep breath and knocked. Then she waited. And waited. There was no answer. She couldn't even hear any movement on the other side.

"Fred?" Cordy called out through the door. "It's me, Cordelia. Are you in there?"

After a long moment, a quiet voice replied, "Yeah. I'm fine, just fine! Thanks for checking. Bye!"

"Good! That's good!" Cordelia said, registering the jumpiness in her voice. "Can I come in? Maybe we could talk for a bit?"

"Talk? Yes, I've been thinking about the acoustics of the hotel and how the sound wave frequencies often seem to match the resonance of the ventilation system creating the disturbing creaks that seem to be everywhere at once and-" Fred's voice cut off. "Oh... well I suppose that probably wasn't what you wanted to talk about."

Cordelia nodded her head slowly. "Uh...huh... Well, I think the sound waves might travel better if you opened the door."

"Oh, right." Fred chuckled nervously and Cordelia could hear multiple bolts being unlocked.

Fred slowly opened the door a crack and gave a small smile. She pursed her lips and finally opened the door all the way.

Motioning an awkward invitation with her arm, Fred said, "Come in."

Cordelia walked into the dim room with the lights all off and the curtains drawn. She would almost think this was Angel's room given the seeming aversion to the light. However the darkness wasn't the most interesting thing about the room. Neither were the food wrappers that were scattered around on the floor. No, the most interesting thing in the room was the wall. Or rather, the walls. They were covered in hasty scrawl, most of which was impossible to make heads or tails of. Cordelia had no idea what it meant, only that it covered an extensive amount of wall space from the floor to the ceiling.

"Sorry for the mess," Fred said, kicking away a few stray wrappers with a measure of embarrassment. "Wasn't expectin' company."

"No!" Cordy replied, trying her best to sound reassuring. "Really, it's fine. I just came barging in!" She glanced around at the walls. "I love what you've done with the place! Very artsy. Custom wallpaper is all the rage these days."

Fred smiled and looked down at the floor. She seemed like she was trying to make herself smaller, to hide even in plain sight. For someone who was already petite to begin with, she looked downright tiny now.

"I just...," Fred began, "I just have to write it down. Don't wanna forget. To lose it. You know, things get lost. You think it and then it's gone. The electrochemical responses of the brain just don't leave a long enough impression for you to capture it indefinitely and the memory is so fallible and-"

"Fred, Fred," Cordelia cut her off with an empathetic look. "It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me. If you want to write on the walls, you write on the walls." Cordelia put up her hands and grinned. "And you know what? If you run out of wall, we can paint the walls and you can start over again."

Finally, Fred laughed. It was a quiet, nervous laugh, but Cordelia could tell it was genuine. She thought it was the first genuine laugh she'd heard Fred make since they met. It was sweet.

"You know I could get you some notebooks though," Cordelia continued. "You know, if you'd like."

"Gee I almost forgot about notebooks," Fred replied, "and pencils. In Pylea, I just used a sharp rock and some cypril powder."

"What's-"

"It's the excrement of-"

Cordelia held up a hand. "Never mind! I'm good."

Fred nodded, unfazed by Cordelia's reaction.

"Do you know when Angel will be back?" Fred asked suddenly. "He's been gone for a long time. You don't think- Well, he is coming back, right? He didn't just leave forever...right?"

Cordelia was taken aback by the anxiety and fear in Fred's voice. She knew they had bonded in Pylea. She may have underestimated just how much.

Cordelia shook her head vigorously. "No, no. Of course, he's coming back! He just needed some time to process and grieve."

"Over Buffy?"

"Yeah." Cordelia frowned, the news of Buffy's death had hit Angel hard. She hoped the meditation was helping him... but she kind of doubted it. "Buffy was his first love. And then she died. And he wasn't there."

Fred bit her cheek. "His first love. Right. That...that makes sense."

Cordelia moved to put a hand on Fred's shoulder, but Fred flinched and pulled away. Cordelia hastily pulled her hand back.

"Don't worry, he'll be back," Cordelia said, trying to reassure with her eyes instead. "I'm sure he's-"

A blinding flash of searing, white hot pain shot its way through Cordelia's head and all the way down her spine. She screamed out and collapsed to the floor, no longer able to see. Her body felt like it was on fire. It was as if she were having a migraine, heart attack, and stroke all at once while simultaneously being hit by a bus, soaked in gasoline, and set on fire. No, it was worse than that.

She could faintly hear Fred somewhere in the distance, but she couldn't make out what she was saying. Then her hearing was overtaken by screams that weren't her own. Flashes of a scene played out before her unseeing eyes. A girl. Brunette, dressed in an unmistakable designer Tommy Hilfiger dress.

Cordelia relayed the specifics through the pain to whoever might be listening. The girl was being chased by a vampire dressed in a suit. In some kind of theatre? Cordelia snapped out of the vision and the pain subsided slightly. It left her exhausted and aching all over.

She blinked a few times as her sight returned. Wesley and Gunn where hovering over her looking concerned. She felt the pillow beneath her head shift and she realized suddenly that her head was resting in Fred's lap. Fred leaned over so Cordelia could see her and brushed some stray hair out of her face.

"Did you guys get all that?" Cordelia asked, closing her eyes as she fought back a wave of nausea.

"Yeah," Gunn replied. "You got anymore information on this theatre?"

Cordelia thought back to the vision, trying to get a feel for it. "Um, definitely upscale. I think it's downtown. It was during a performance. Um, an opera. Aida."

Wesley nodded. "Okay, I'll go see what I can find about a showing of Aida at the downtown theatres. Gunn, I think you have a prior engagement you should be getting to." He then turned back to Cordelia. "We'll be back soon. You should get some rest."

Cordelia nodded and Gunn and Wesley left the room.

"How are you feelin'?" Fred looked down at her with concern, her long brown hair dangling over Cordelia's face. "You really gave me a fright."

Cordelia sighed and closed her eyes again. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "The visions can be pretty... well, ugly. But it's over now. I'll be fine."

Fred bit her cheek again. Cordelia didn't think she had quite fooled the surprisingly perceptive physicist. Fred continued to run her fingers over Cordelia's hair in a calming gesture and Cordelia drifted off. She could sleep here... just for a minute.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, August 25th

GILES: Their numbers are increasing. BUFFY: And they're getting cockier. Look, I'm not loving it. Last night was a pretty close call. GILES: (distracted) Yes. BUFFY: Giles, care? I'm putting my life on the line battling the undead. Look, I broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press-on.

~~Prophecy Girl~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Weekly Drabbles #164 — Flesh and Blood by veronyxk84 (Buffy, Dawn, PG-13)

Red Light by mmooch (Buffy, The Rookie xover, T)

A Sparrow's Fall by eevol76vamp (Fred, Spike, Not Rated)

Beyond Red by fatalfae (Buffy, Tara, Xander, Willow, T)

Apocalypse Wishlist by HollyDB (Buffy/Spike, T)

Safe (with Spike) by BloodyEll42 (Dawn, Spike, Buffy, Xander, G)

Conversation with a Dead Friend by MGAllan (Xander/Jesse, T)

Damaged Goods 破損品 by MGAllan (Quentin Travers, T)

Fuffy Drabble by thedeathscar (Buffy/Faith, unrated)

If you'll have me by rossshin (Buffy/Spike, G)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Double Date - ch. 1 by Rippertish (Buffy/Giles, E)

Stiff Pole - ch. 4 by scratchmeout (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Mysterious Destinies - ch. 5 by EnchantedWillow (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Lost in Desolation - ch. 5 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

A Blackcap's Song - ch. 7 by Murray (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

The Degradation of Duality [Series Part 2] - ch. 45 by Ragini (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Love Lives Here - ch. 97 by Passion4Spike (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Rebirth: A Stargate Tale - ch. 17 by Buffyworldbuilder (Buffy, Stargate xover, FR13)

Xanderpocalypse - ch. 11 by AxelBlade (Xander, Harry Potter and X-Men xover, FR15)

Stiff Pole - ch. 4 by scratchmeout (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Anything But Ordinary - ch. 12 by Harlow Turner (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

What the Drabble? Vol. 2 - ch. 64 by VeroNyxK84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

To All We Guard - ch. 22 by simmony (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Love Lives Here - ch. 97 by Passion4Spike (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Comic: [Image description: Sherlock of BBC Sherlock and Buffy of Buffy The Vampire...] by paulgadzikowski (worksafe)

Artwork: Using my art to make some fake vintage style comic book covers by onedrawsoverthecuckoosnest (Buffy/Angel, worksafe)

Artwork: If Harmony had really been Buffy by isevery0nehereverystoned (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Artwork: continuing my series of illustrating scenes from the show Buffy The Vampire Slayer... by ibtravart (Buffy, worksafe)

Artwork: close ups!! ≽ܫ≼ by camellcat (Buffy, worksafe)

Gifset: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997-2003) by clarkgriffon (Spike, Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Gifset: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER | 2.10 & 1.03 by whatisyourchildhoodtrauma (Buffy, Kendra, Giles, Willow, worksafe)

Edit: Buffy Summers as the Sun sunlit by R.Wright / Buffy the last vampire slayer #4 ... by twelverriver (Buffy, worksafe)

Edit: I apologize, you forgive me. by raffaella-cerullo (Faith, worksafe)

Edit: charles bukowski, for jane by dogmetaphors (Spike, worksafe)

Edit: Buffy ~ Baltički profil - Ivana Milankova... by heterocosmica (Buffy, worksafe)

Icons: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S01E06 — The Pack. by nostalgc (Willow, worksafe)

Icons: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S01E06 — The Pack. by nostalgc (Buffy, worksafe)

Playlist: Musi Playlist by mr-miss-sunny (Spuffy)

Fanvid: buffy summers, certified "busy girl" by lesbianboyfriend (Buffy, worksafe)

Fanvid: this one is for the rupert giles fans out there, i hope i did him justice by bananabeans88 (Giles, worksafe)

Collage: Collage #79 by thedecadentraven (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Collage: Collage #80 by thedecadentraven (Spike, worksafe)

Collage: Collage #81 by thedecadentraven (worksafe)

Collage: Collage #83 by thedecadentraven (Buffy/Spike, worksafe)

Collage: Collage #84 by thedecadentraven (worksafe)

Collage: Collage #89 by thedecadentraven (Willow/Tara, worksafe)

Collage: Xander and Anya by sunflower1109 (Xander/Anya, worksafe)

Fanvid: Fred & Gunn - Architecture (Angel the Series) by TheOverLookedOne (Fred/Gunn)

[Reviews & Recaps]

I Robot, You Jane Fashion Part Two by theoverlookedoneedits1997

my btvs tarot deck arrived and i love it so much, it's absolutely beautiful, but... by sadsmihalleyface

btvs 5x10 "into the woods" was very good. by lesbianmarrow

btvs 5x11 "triangle" episode made FOR ME. by lesbianmarrow

First timer - just finished [all of BTVS] by banana_fine

I just watched 5X16, The Body, for the first time and holy shit... [first time viewer] by Impossible-Ad-3270

S4 E4 fear demon by Piratedking12

[Recs & In Search Of]

ISO: Christianduty seeks Obscure pieces of media connected to the show

ISO: atthecirclek seeks the brand of Buffy's tank top from season one? [with various resources in the comments]

ISO: Burnie89 seeks takers for a 3D Jesse bust

[Community Announcements]

Sunday prompts: Lonely Prompts Sunday by comment_fic

[Fandom Discussions]

Meme: [oh no we're all doomed by the narrative...] by kalmiopsis (Buffy, worksafe)

[i love Spike and Giles's father/son dynamic] by trealtox

a better season 6 villain: MOO by lunaticobscurity

[on how the Seeing Red scene was partially inspired by the writer's personal history] by housedyke

fic prompt: spies are forever buffy the vampire slayer au. tatiana is the slayer.... by ghostface-knight

fic prompt: [Willow in high school] by confusedguytoo

POLL: which of these lowest ranked episodes of btvs (according to imdb) is your favourite? by ohrevienssoleil

Why Stakes? by MoonLightSY-3

2 characters I would’ve liked to see live longer by atomiclovebomb

[Zura Skye as Cassie in Conversations with Dead People] by BiggTS

Does Willow think Buffy’s dumb, and if so was it ever explored in the show? by RafRide

Abigail [the movie and what if the vamps didn't dust on BTVS?] by Guilty-Tie164

Spike’s power relative to his age by Temporary-Buddy-2199

How does Spike enter the house in Lovers Walk? [vampires needing permission] by Fluffy-Maybe-6448

Is Buffy integral to Angel's character? [can you only watch ATS without BTVS?] by debujandobirds

Were Giles and Ethan lovers? by music_and_pop

Filming/Location Question: The WB Ranch by Special_Ear7031

[references to the 1969 Western movie] "The Wild Bunch" by caldude1985

Buffy’s Best Burns by Randy_Giles1880

Do you remember your reaction to the graduating class joining Buffy and the Scoobies in "Graduation Day, Part II"? by jdpm1991

« SPIKE », a mortal bartender in Tokyo [fic prompt] by Ok-Original4977

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

James Marsters Mad Monster Expo 2024 Reports, Pics & Vids by dontkillspike

Comic Film & Manga Fest Berlin Event Cancelled via dontkillspike

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[kyrumption]

buffyverse meme // (5/9) relationships - fred and gunn

[famous-aces]

Alfredo Guttero

Who: Alfredo Guttero

What: Artist and Art Promoter

Where: Argentinian (active in Argentina and throughout Western Europe) 

When: May 26, 1882 - December 1, 1932

(Image Description: Retrato del pintor, Victorica, 1929 [a self portrait]. It shows Guttero in his apartment. Outside is a very geometric skyline of smokestacks, steep roofs, and a brown sky. His room is slate colored and he sits in a chair in the foreground. He has a jacket thrown over the back of his chair. His pose is casual and he looks as if we [the viewer] have just distracted him from painting. He sits with his legs to one side, turned almost unnaturally toward the viewer. One leg is lifted slightly and one hand is on the chair's seat as if he is in the middle of turning completely to the viewer. He is a man with a receding hairline and a high forehead. He has a dark mustache and dark hair and low eyebrows. He is wearing a white shirt and bowtie and has his sleeves rolled up to the elbow and his collar is ruffled and loosened. The whole thing hangs very loose but you can still see some of his body's lines of musculature. His tie undone and hanging around his neck. His pants are ordinary and green/brown. His expression is calm but confident and he looks directly at the viewer. The colors are bold but not really bright. The style blends geometry and flatness and realism in a way I am explaining very poorly. End ID)

Guttero is not terribly well remembered today, which is too bad. Looking through his oeuvre I quite like his work. Maybe it is because he lacked the bombastic personality of many modernist artists, maybe it is due to his diversity of styles without one that seems to define his work, or maybe it is because he was one of so many talented artists of his generation. He was well renown in his era, however, and used his popularity and skill to foster the next generation of Argentinian artists.

Guttero's life began mundanely enough. He always loved art, appreciating it and creating it, but pursued a legal career instead. But he was unhappy with his life as a lawyer, so Guttero left it to become a painter. He pursued his dream and passion, inspired and pushed by other Argentine artists. In 1904 his reputation was good enough that the Argentinian government sponsored his move to Paris, then the epicenter of the truly exciting and revolutionary art world, its influence expanding outward. He studied there for a few years under Maurice Denis before appearing in the Salon.

He remained in Paris until 1916 when he began to travel extensively across Western Europe for more than a decade, first to Spain, then Germany, Austria, and beyond. He traveled to nearly every country in the area between the years of 1916 and 1927.  His work was shown in various exhibitions around the continent from being featured in the Salon in Paris to a major solo exhibition in Genoa.

After that he returned to Argentina for the first time since his initial departure in 1904. Guttero remained active in his native country including creating free art classes called, aptly enough, Cursos Libres de Arte Plástico, with other Argentine artists. During this time he focused on his work as an art promotor, perhaps even more than his own art. During this time he introduced and showed new Argentinian artists to a wider audience. Indeed he created an organization for this purpose: the Hall of Modern Painters. He was dedicated to promoting and preserving modern art in the face of a world growing increasingly dark and reactionary. He died young and without much warning.

His art is undeniably modernist but trickier to pin to a specific movement. He has many different styles he utilizes with different degrees of naturalism and curves vs geometry. His scenes are by and large mundane and human, he uses bright colors, often huge central subjects, kinetic poses and positions, modern settings, and by and large human or urban subjects. He often painted on plaster using a "cooked plaster" technique of his own devising.

(Image Description: Martigues for Charles Jacques [1909], a brightly colored painting showing a scene in a Martigues canal. It is not completely realistic nor completely geometric and abstract. He favors color over outlines. In the background is a bright blue sky interrupted by yellow buildings with tile roofs, maybe houses, lit by the unseen sun. One of the building's lower doors is open. There is a small tree to the far right. In the foreground in the sparkling water of the canal are several small work boats, probably fishing boats judging by the silvery nets lying over the hulls. On the right a boat is coming in, there is a pale skinned, dark haired man working on one of the nets. His sail is red and white. On the left is a pale man in an orange hat and yellow shirt. He is stooped and just by his pose appears older, both of the men are too far away for many identifying details. End ID)

Possible Orientation: Mspec ace, gay ace, or aroace with an aesthetic attraction to multiple genders. (I am so unsure I have changed "probable" to "possible.")

I admit this one is a stretch on my part.

I am classifying Guttero based largely on absence, i.e. the absence of a remembered/recorded spouse, sexual/romantic partner, or liasian. I have no quotes or historical documents to prove my point. I have none of his personal philosophy or writings to draw from. Just the fact that he dedicated his life to art more than human relationshipa. That this is something I have seen before: Cause and its role in the life of many aros/aces/aroaces (outlined in Weil's entry the other day) and the fact that he had no recorded romantic/sexual partners that I can find in hours of research.

This illustrates why it is so, so difficult to find aspecs in history. We are not, as aphobes believe, impossible to locate, there is externally visible evidence, but it is less obvious than most other orientations. And cishets would rather we didn't exist so we are often buried under excuses. The easiest ways to find them are 1) if they were notably "married to their job" in their lifetimes (e.g. Jeanette Rankin and Carter Woodson), they talked/wrote about it in some capacity (e.g. T.E. Lawrence or Frédéric Chopin), they were distrusted because of it (John Ruskin and James Barrie), they made it part of their persona (Nikola Tesla and Florence Nightingale), aside from that I really need to search deep into their personal lives. Information not always available.

And often even when people essentially say "I am aromantic and/or asexual" the general population will not accept that. After all Newton is often remembered as allo and gay, despite never expressing interest in men. Chopin is often listed as allo and bi. Rankin is often considered cishet but too deeply concerned with her work. Barrie gets called a pedophile despite showing no interest in children. For eccentric aspecs like Weil/Tesla/etc. their being aspec becomes part of their oddness. If they weren't Like That they would be allo. Their being aspec becomes a symptom of their weirdness and would be unacceptable in a "normal" person.

History with a capital H does not want to acknowledge aspecs and, as with other queer identities, will go to insane measures to erase them. But even other queer historians will do this to aspecs. I am shocked how many people do exactly to Newton/Lewis/and the like what cishet historians do to Alexander the Great. In the case of Alexander the cishets ignore the obvious accounts that he loved Hephestian in nearly every way possible and queer historians and history buffs call them out, then often the non-aspec ones look at Newton and Lewis who had no interest in men and say they must have been gay. And it isn't really just history, Tim Gunn is by his own admission both gay and ace and the second part of that statement is either erased or, even crazier, I have seen aphobes say that he is mistaken about his own identity.

Anyway the root cause of this lack of nuance in the discussion of sexual orientation is a long sidebar that this is not the place to explore. I have left Guttero behind paragraphs ago. I have written a lot about how aces and aros end up getting erased from history and this isn't about that.

This is about Guttero and the difficulty of finding aros and aces. The presence of something is so much easier to find than the alternative, obviously, like if Historical Figure X exclusively slept with/courted men and was a man we can say he was (most likely) gay. But if Historical Figure Y didn't sleep with anyone/court anyone it is harder to prove. This is obviously severely simplifying identity but for the purposes of this example I beg your apology.

Long Story Short: the absence of evidence of something is not proof of the absence of something. A lot of aphobes will point this out and utterly ignore the fact that sometimes it is.

So, Guttero. The only thing I can say conclusively is that he never married and he was romantically or sexually tied to anyone as far as I can find. He was, in his time, very active in the art world. If he had been involved someone would probably have taken note. Especially considering his art is often very appreciative of the human form, especially the male one, it would not be hard to believe he was allo and gay or mspec.

I am going to take his art another way putting some dusty analysis/critique/art history skills to good use. Here's the thing, those who follow me on my personal blog or even here know I find the Death of the Author extremely important but it is also extremely complicated (it was actually the topic of my senior thesis). I don't want to use an artist's work to talk about their personal lives because art is often not reflective of life, but there is always some cross contamination in one way or another. I am going to explain what I mean on a superficial level, using myself as an example so I can say this is 100% accurate. I love the found family trope, and I think those relationships are the best in the world. So whenever I write something you can be damned sure if I can get some found family goodness in there I will. What I am saying is, I don't love or even approve of everything I write about, but I do write about some things because I love them and want to explore them and experience them on some level. The same may be true for Guttero and the subjects he painted.

Guttero often pays a lot of attention to human form. Look at his work The Market (I couldn't find a large enough image to put it in this post) and you will see his appreciation for amab musculature and on the other side of the male spectrum...

(image description: Retrato de Lucien Cavarry [1911] It shows a thin, lanky, and well dressed young man reclining on a green floral patterned couch and a black pillow. He is pale with neat, dark hair. He has a shadow of 5 o'clock shadow on his super hero jaw. His suit is white, his slightly rumpled tie is black, as are his socks and polished shoes. One arm is across the back of the couch and a red and gold pillow the other is dangling. This style is very different from the other portraits I showed/referenced. Still a modern but more realistic style, more flowing, less geometric. The man is drop dead gorgeous by Western beauty standards. End ID)

As for women...he seems to find them colder, more distant, but there is still a physical appreciation there. (Linking Mujeres Indolentes so I don't get flagged for "female presenting nipples" or whatever Tumblr's BS is. [The name alone tells you a lot]). Or the somewhat judgemental gaze of the woman below:

(Image Description: Georgelina. It shows a portrait of a pretty young woman sitting in front of a field. She is pale and long and beautiful. She has red hair, sharp eyes, a long flowing white dress with a gold sash around her waist, and a white hat with a black bow that is blowing in the wind. She takes up most of the frame and her expression is challenging and she holds eye contact with the viewer. The colors are bright and she is almost porciline in color. The background is mostly flat planes of color. In style it is somewhere between the self portrait and the portrait of Cavarry. End ID.)

Not all of his portraits of women have them so sour/distant but they all have a sort of challenging look. Beauty tinged with something dangerous, while the men always seem more innocent.

So here is why I say aspec rather than allo using his work alone, none of his work is particularly sexually inviting even with the sexiness/physical European attractiveness. The men are bashful or unaware of the viewer, the women are certainly not interested.

And back to the self portrait at the top: Guttero is in a fairly sexy pose, but it is sexy without being sexual. He is rumpled but the thing he was doing was painting, there is a sexless explanation. He is looking at the viewer, but you are distracting him from working. At first glance I thought his legs were spread, but they are simply in motion so he can face his guest more comfortably. This all could mean nothing, but I found it striking that this is how he chose to depict himself, at first he appears to be inviting the viewer in for a more physical interaction, but then it seems he is doing exactly the opposite, his passionate energy has been instead put into painting.

And in reality toward the end of his life that was what he did. He dedicated himself to his own art and the art of others.

So again, this could mean nothing. But...it could mean he is aspec.

And that is how the person I am least sure about got the longest entry.

(image description: Elevadores [1928]. A painting showing a factory complex. There is a raised platform running around it and several buildings in bright colors. There is a tree to the right side and a green hill. The building in the near-center [lightly left] is red. The sky is yellow and blue, perhaps the unseen sun is rising up behind the right-hand buildings. In style it is mostly geometric and flat color. End ID.)

[chrancecriber]

Chilltrax (June 29, 2023)

23:57 Emmit Fenn - What Falling In Love Is For 23:53 Cri - Stranger 23:49 Flexible Fire - Amatista 23:46 Charles Webster Feat. Shara Nelson - This Is Real 23:46 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 23:42 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 23:37 Embliss & Lumynesynth - Phases Of The Moon 23:32 Royksopp - The Ladder 23:28 Mozez & Tim Angrave - Head Full Of Dreams 23:24 Elderbrook - The End 23:23 C H I L L T R A X - Ct Where The World Comes To Chill Out 23:20 Holen - Healing 23:17 Cannons - Footsteps In The Dark 23:14 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 23:09 Sons Of Maria - Outbound 23:06 Nightcap - The Two Of Us (We Only Need) 23:05 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 23:00 Rodriguez Jr. Feat. Liset Alea - What Is Real (Deep In The Playa Mix) 22:56 Jones Meadow - Shackles 22:52 Chris Malinchak, Kiesza, Malin - Tree 22:48 Phoenix & Dj Falcon - Winter Solstice (Braxe Falcon Remix) 22:43 Two Lanes - Phases 22:43 C H I L L T R A X - Cool Refreshed Smooth As Can Be 22:39 Eli & Fur - Better In The Dark 22:35 Diplo Feat. Rhye - Mmxx - Xii 22:31 Arto - Now You're Gone 22:27 Lapsley - Levitate 22:22 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 22:22 C H I L L T R A X - Worlds Chillout Channel (Chillout Channel) 22:17 Vincenzo - Chroma Rush 22:12 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 22:07 Ultraista - Mariella (Zero 7 Remix) 22:02 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 21:57 Dom Dolla & Mansionair - Strangers (Flight Facilities Remix) 21:52 Dj San & Sebastian Moore - In Your Eyes 21:51 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 21:47 Eric Hilton - Forming Star 21:42 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 21:38 Henry Green - Shift (Edapollo Remix) 21:33 Shingo Nakamura - Come Closer 21:29 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 21:24 London Grammar - Sights (Tourist Version) 21:24 C H I L L T R A X - Musique Nonstop 21:20 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 21:17 Eloi El - Stick Together (Blonde Maze Remix) 21:13 Giants' Nest - Heart Void 21:08 Cubicolor - Wake Me Up 21:08 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 21:04 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 21:01 Bronson Feat. Gallant - Know Me 20:57 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 20:53 Attom & Kwesi - Rogue 20:50 Everything But The Girl - Forever 20:50 C H I L L T R A X - Trans Europe Vocoder 20:46 Edapollo - By The River (Faodail Remix) 20:43 Cannons - Loving You 20:38 Washed Out - Hide (Amtrac Remix) 20:34 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 20:31 Odesza Feat. Maro - Better Now 20:31 C H I L L T R A X - Ct The Backward Chillout Channel 20:27 Nuage Feat. Gus - The Place We Know 20:24 Shallou - Heartaches 20:22 Arto - Para Mi 20:18 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 20:15 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Bassy Dr 20:11 Blonde Maze - Fade Into You 20:06 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 20:01 Jones Meadow - Fences 19:58 Ben Macklin Feat. Emma Brammer - Stay With Me (Fvhm Remix) 19:58 C H I L L T R A X - Wonderful Tan! 19:55 Elderbrook & Tourist - Howl (Chill Mix) 19:51 Armin Van Buuren & Matoma Feat Teddy Swims - Easy To Love 19:47 A.m.r - Sailor's Cry 19:42 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 19:37 Rufus Du Sol - Like An Animal (Trinidad Remix) 19:36 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 19:33 Afterlife - All I Wanted 19:30 Leisure - Be With You 19:26 West & Zander - Silfra 19:21 False Intentions - Good Liar 19:16 Nicholas Gunn & Alina Renae - Angel Eyes 19:16 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 19:12 Alex V - Cristal Shore 19:08 Forester - Symphony 19:05 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 19:00 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 18:56 Jimpster & Oliver Night - Ascension 18:56 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 18:51 Nicolas Godin - The Border 18:49 Attom - Where Are We Going 18:45 Jos & Eli & Eli & Fur - Riffs Of The Night 18:40 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 18:35 Elypsis - Open Road 18:35 C H I L L T R A X - See That The Humans Are Entertained 18:31 Jan Blomqvist - Carry On (Earthlife Remix) 18:26 Joy Orbison Feat. Lea Sen - Better 18:21 Il:lo - Cynnes 18:18 Emmit Fenn - --amman 18:12 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 18:12 C H I L L T R A X - Comes To Chill Out 18:08 Giants' Nest - Purple Beach 18:05 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 18:00 Blonde Maze - Being Pulled (Polar Inc. Remix) 17:57 Pableno - Heights 17:53 Andre Aguado - Through The Night 17:50 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 17:50 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 17:46 Sum Wave - Moments Of Sundown 17:42 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 17:38 Kidnap - Start Again (Kidnap Piano Mix) 17:34 Everything But The Girl - Caution To The Wind 17:29 Two Lanes - Movement 17:25 Thievery Corporation - From Creation 17:25 C H I L L T R A X - Distinctively Different 17:22 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 17:18 Gold Lounge - Higher 17:13 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 17:08 A.m.r & Lumynesynth - Unfinished 17:08 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Rocket Empire 17:03 Maya Jane Coles Feat .chelou - Never Asked For Much 16:58 Royksopp Feat. Pixx - How The Flowers Grow 16:54 Dye O - Simply Be Here 16:50 Leisure - Take You Higher (Serebii & Arjuna Oakes Remix) 16:46 Reel People & Muhsinah - Something New (Kraak & Smaak Remix) 16:46 C H I L L T R A X - Fresh And Fascinating 16:42 Duckmaw - Habits 16:38 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 16:34 Kaskade - Where Did You Go 16:31 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 16:27 Lp Giobbi Feat. Dj Tennis & Joseph Ashworth - All In A Dream 16:27 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax 16:24 Alampa - Seesaw Season 16:20 Kc Lights Feat. Leo Stannard - Cold Light (6am Remix) 16:15 Above And Beyond - Sun In Your Eyes (William Orbit Remix) 16:10 Trilucid - Cheyenne (Extended Sunset Mix) 16:10 C H I L L T R A X - Industrial 16:05 Sons Of Maria - Always 16:02 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 15:59 Flexible Fire - Marea Turquesa 15:54 Tsha - I Know 15:54 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 15:50 Satin Jackets & Panama - Alive 15:45 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Julia Church - 9 Days 15:40 Marsh Feat. Leo Wood - Over And Over 15:36 Rocket Empire - Astoria 15:32 Washed Out - Far Away 15:32 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 15:28 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 15:24 Boerd Feat. Stella Explorer - Another Life 15:19 Melosense - Story To Remember 15:15 Lamorn - Olsen After Midnight 15:10 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 15:10 C H I L L T R A X - Organ The Chillout Channel 15:06 Sum Wave - It Feels Like Summer 15:03 Faodail & Kakadu - Painting In Shades (Edapollo Remix) 14:58 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 14:55 Holen - Breathe 14:52 Forester - Saint (Shallou Remix) 14:52 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 14:48 Kleerup Feat. Yuna - Break Down The Wall 14:44 Dreem - Miles Away 14:41 Kelela - Contact 14:36 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 14:31 Be Svendsen - Day 3 14:31 C H I L L T R A X - Listen To This! 14:28 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 14:24 The Knocks Feat. Foster The People - All About You (Equal Remix) 14:20 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 14:16 Tep No Feat. Starzun - Hold Me 14:13 Everything But The Girl - Run A Red Light 14:13 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 14:09 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 14:05 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson, Oli Hannaford - Yearn 14:00 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 13:56 Lipless & Blue Noir - Alone 13:52 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 13:52 C H I L L T R A X - World Comes To Chilltrax.com 13:47 Above & Beyond - Believer (Marsh's Guatape Remix) 13:43 Mozez & Tim Angrave - Head Full Of Dreams 13:37 Satin Jackets - Little Airplanes 13:33 Sg Lewis - Lifetime 13:30 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 13:24 Boerd - Blind 13:24 C H I L L T R A X - Retsyn 13:20 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 13:17 Giants' Nest - Crema 13:11 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 13:06 Morcheeba - Oh Oh Yeah 13:06 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 13:00 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 12:56 Aparde - Know You 12:53 Holen - Healing 12:49 Cannons - Fire For You 12:46 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 12:45 C H I L L T R A X - Like Lobster Straight Out Of The Sink! 12:41 Jones Meadow - Need You Now 12:38 Afterlife - All I Wanted 12:34 Washed Out - Too Late 12:31 Melosense - Nous 12:27 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Just Wanted To Know 12:26 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 12:23 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 12:19 Beacon - Until Next Time 12:18 Arto - Para Mi 12:04 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 12:00 Tomb - Unbound 11:56 Mahalo - Nothing Matters (Lipless Remix) 11:56 C H I L L T R A X - Well How Ya Like It? Terrific! 11:51 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 11:47 Andrew Nagy & Joel Winterflood - Little To None 11:42 Monolink - Take Me Away 11:37 Blank & Jones - Floatation 11:33 Moby - Porcelain (Arty Remix) 11:33 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 11:29 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 11:26 Lapsley - 32 Floors 11:21 Zaven - Passive Activity (Evren Furtuna Remix) 11:18 Elderbrook & Tourist - Howl (Chill Mix) 11:14 Xixi Feat. Kwesi - Close To U 11:14 C H I L L T R A X - Twcc Chill Chill Chill Chilltrax 11:11 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 11:07 Otr Feat. Shallou - Heart 11:04 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 11:00 Il:lo - Ink 10:56 London Grammar - Lose Your Head 10:56 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 10:53 Chris Malinchak - When The World Stops Turning (Quiet Mix) 10:49 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 10:45 Passenger 10 - Voices In Her Head 10:41 False Intentions - Good Liar 10:36 Massive Attack - Weather Storm 10:35 C H I L L T R A X - Parents Magazine Seal 10:32 Cannons - Loving You 10:28 Camelphat - Waiting (Eli & Fur's Found Version) 10:25 Flexible Fire - Amatista 10:21 Mango & Cloudcage - More Than This 10:16 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 10:16 C H I L L T R A X - Dionigi/the Chillout Channel 10:11 Two Lanes - Belong 10:05 Maya Jane Coles Feat .chelou - Never Asked For Much 10:02 Indigo Eyes Feat. Kehina - All Over Again (Remix) 09:58 Arto - Now You're Gone 09:54 Above & Beyond & Marty Longstaff - Gratitude (Aname Pm Mix) 09:50 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 09:49 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 09:45 Jones Meadow - Entrance 09:41 Phoenix & Dj Falcon - Winter Solstice (Braxe Falcon Remix) 09:37 Hoki - Memories Of Love (Dsf Remix) 09:31 Ry X & Olafur Arnalds - Colorblind (Whomadewho Remix) 09:29 Attom - Where Are We Going 09:25 Rufus Du Sol - Hypnotised 09:25 C H I L L T R A X - Musique Nonstop 09:21 Jan Blomqvist - Carry On (Earthlife Remix) 09:17 Satin Jackets Feat. Ivy Falls - Different Directions 09:14 Sultan Shepard - Sirens 09:09 Sons Of Maria - Don't Tell Me I Can't Have It 09:09 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Rocket Empire 09:06 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 09:02 Otr Feat. Au/ra - Broken (Rac Mix) 08:59 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 08:55 Olan - Wake And Return (Little Dragon Remix) 08:52 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 08:51 C H I L L T R A X - Come Along Children - Need To Chill Out 08:48 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 08:45 Catching Flies - Daymarks 08:40 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 08:34 Sumsuch Feat. Matty Eeles - Find Home (Vincenzo-chilltrax Sumdub Mix) 08:34 C H I L L T R A X - Backward Rvb Where World Comes 08:30 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 08:27 Ben Bohmer Feat. Jonah - Home 08:24 Giants' Nest - Flower Burst 08:18 Trilucid - Cheyenne (Extended Sunset Mix) 08:18 C H I L L T R A X - Industrial 08:14 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Let's Get It Right 08:09 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 08:06 Rocket Empire - Lima 08:01 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Derek Luttrell - Lose Control 08:01 C H I L L T R A X - No Sticky Fingers 07:57 Alampa - Seesaw Season 07:52 Darius Feat. Benny Sings - Rise (Darius Remix) 07:48 Gareth Emery - St Mary's 07:43 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 07:40 Morcheeba - Even Though 07:40 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 07:35 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 07:31 Bonobo Feat. Jordan Rakei - Shadows 07:26 Jean Caillou - Signs 07:21 Lamorn - Olsen After Midnight 07:16 Dj San & Sebastian Moore - In Your Eyes 07:16 C H I L L T R A X - Worlds Chillout Channel (Chillout Channel) 07:11 Alex V - Cristal Shore 07:06 Baile & Haulm - Knows No End 07:01 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 06:57 Jones Meadow - Fences 06:53 Drama - 3am 06:53 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 06:49 Cannons - Tunnel Of You 06:45 Two Lanes - Movement 06:40 Sound Quelle & Tailor - Where We Should Be 06:37 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 06:32 Three Drives On A Vinyl - Greece 2000 (Davidson & Melosense Mix) 06:32 C H I L L T R A X - See That The Humans Are Entertained 06:29 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 06:25 Attom & Blonde Maze - I Think About 06:22 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 06:17 Boehm - Who You Are 06:13 Satin Jackets Feat. Mandy Jones - In This Life 06:13 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 06:08 Alan Cerra - Radiant 06:03 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 06:00 53 Thieves - Two Days 05:54 Il:lo - Cynnes 05:49 Mass Digital - Thoughts Of U 05:44 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 05:44 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel Redux 05:41 Nuage Feat. Gus - The Place We Know 05:35 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Diana Miro - You 05:30 Royksopp & Susanne Sundfor - Oh, Lover (Nto Remix) 05:27 Dye O - Simply Be Here 05:21 Massive Attack - Teardrop 05:21 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 05:17 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 05:13 Running Touch - Why Do I 05:09 Giants' Nest - Heart Void 05:04 Syml & Zero 7 - Symmetry (Zero 7 Remix) 05:04 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 05:01 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 04:57 Edapollo Feat. Akacia - Run 04:53 Jones Meadow - Shackles 04:50 Mansionair & Kim Tee - Next High 04:46 Elderbrook - The End 04:45 C H I L L T R A X - Haven't Even Rinsed! 04:41 Eric Hilton - Artifact22 04:37 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 04:34 Flight Facilities Feat. Your Smith - Heavy 04:31 Pableno - Heights 04:27 Khotin & Tess Roby - Fountain, Growth 04:27 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 04:24 Cannons - Hurricane 04:20 London Grammar - Baby It's You 04:15 Sons Of Maria - Outbound 04:12 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 04:12 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Bassy Dr 04:08 Heard Right Feat. Phoebe Tsen - Pulling Me Under 04:04 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 04:00 Woven - Brushes 03:56 Westseven Feat. Angus Powell - Go Right Through (Sound Quelle Remix) 03:56 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 03:51 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 03:48 Lost In Pacific & Hanging Valleys - Escape 03:43 Double Touch Feat. Reigan - All I Want 03:40 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 03:34 Groove Armada - History (M3 And Bachelors Of Science Remix) 03:34 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 03:29 Eli & Fur - Better In The Dark 03:24 Mango - Skyline 03:21 Feathervane & Oreonic - Overcast 03:17 Mozez & Tim Angrave - Head Full Of Dreams 03:12 Nicholas Gunn & Alina Renae - Angel Eyes 03:12 C H I L L T R A X - Be Svendsen World Comes 03:08 Dreem - Miles Away 03:05 Twoworldsapart & Panuma & Nina Carr - Slippin' 03:00 Maya Jane Coles Feat .chelou - Never Asked For Much 02:55 Sg Lewis Feat. Lucky Daye - Feed The Fire (Kassian Remix) 02:51 Rocket Empire - Astoria 02:47 53 Thieves - Lyd 02:41 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 02:41 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 02:37 Giants' Nest - Storm Trap 02:32 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 02:28 Billie Eilish - Everything I Wanted (Aquadrop Remix) 02:24 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - It's Enough (The Last High) 02:20 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 02:15 Zero 7 - Don't Call It Love 02:15 C H I L L T R A X - Bugs B Gone 02:11 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 02:08 Pines Feat. Fractures - Rewrite The Ending 02:03 Above And Beyond - Sun In Your Eyes (William Orbit Remix) 02:00 Chris Malinchak - Happiness (Eternal Moment Mix) 02:00 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 01:56 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 01:53 Cannons - Bad Dream 01:49 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 01:46 Tep No - Say What You Wanted 01:42 Everything But The Girl - Forever 01:42 C H I L L T R A X - Like Lobster Straight Out Of The Sink! 01:37 Dim Kelly - Nocturna Animal 01:32 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 01:28 Leisure - Slipping Away (Flight Facilities Remix) 01:24 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 01:19 Sound Quelle Feat. Daniel Robinson - Tempest 01:19 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 01:16 Elderbrook & Tourist - Howl (Chill Mix) 01:11 Vintage And Morelli Feat. Arielle Maren - The Light (Flexible Fire Remix) 01:08 Jones Meadow - Expect 01:04 False Intentions - Good Liar 01:04 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Rocket Empire 01:00 Kx5 Feat. Hayla - Escape (Chill Mix) 00:55 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 00:52 Sum Wave - Milkyway 00:49 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson - Follow 00:49 C H I L L T R A X - Trans Europe Vocoder 00:44 Trilucid - Cheyenne (Extended Sunset Mix) 00:40 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Malou - About You 00:36 Melosense - Nous 00:31 Zimmer Feat. Fhin - Lost Your Mind 00:31 C H I L L T R A X - Industrial 00:28 Jan Blomqvist - Carry On (Earthlife Remix) 00:25 Beacon - Pay My Debts 00:22 Elypsis - Open Your Eyes 00:17 Lamorn - Olsen After Midnight 00:13 Evelynka - Letting Go 00:13 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel, Chilltrax 00:10 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 00:05 The Knocks Feat. Muna - Bodies (Tycho Remix) 00:01 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe