#Certainly seems to go along with the quote: no one is the villain of their own story]

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

So we know that Wei Wuxian's treatment after his death was horrible. Even if nothing could impact him directly, there was still neverending slander, hatred, misinformation, theft...

But, for a while after he died, the sects did try to impact him directly – namely, frequently trying to resummon his soul. And today I'll explore the possible reasons for this, their likelihoods, and why I'm so, so thankful that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the summons. Because, spoiler alert (or, you know. maybe not)... none of them are good.

(Long meta ahead)

In my opinion, there are four likely motivations for this: confinement, coercion, torment, and potentially destruction.

Out of all of these, confinement is probably the most likely motivation, at least for most sects (Jins and Jiangs excluded, though it was likely what the Jin sect said their motivations were – but I'll get to them later). This one is the most simple – we know spirit-trapping pouches exist, and we know the sects also placed 120 stone beasts on the Burial Mounds to prevent Wei Wuxian's soul from escaping. Therefore, this seems to be the most likely motivation – and fortunately for Wei Wuxian, probably also the best case scenario, though it still certainly isn't a good one.

For the second, coercion – this is where the Jin sect come in (more specifically Jin Guangshan with the help of Jin Guangyao). Due to their wealth and resources, they're likely the sect who played the largest role in the soul-summoning rituals. We know what they're willing to do to try to gain power – keeping Wen Ning under the pretence he was burned to death and trying to control him with the nails, and working with and helping Xue Yang torture people to help him refine his demonic cultivation, in order to have the Yin hufu fixed. Along with working with many other cultivators, alongside Xue Yang – Jin Guangshan really, really wanted that seal.

And so, Jin GuangShan sought after all those who imitated Wei WuXian in cultivating the ghostly path and gathered them under his rule. He spent a great amount of money and resources and these people, ordering them to study and analyze the structure of the Tiger Seal in secrecy so that they could replicate and restore it. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR

(Note that working with these cultivators very likely happened after Wei Wuxian's soul had failed to be summoned, since this happens some time after Wei Wuxian's death, whereas the soul-summoning ceromonies presumably started happening very close to it.)

In the previous paragraph, he's also quoted as having 'lusted after' the Yin hufu, which we already knew but it's nice to have a direct quote as evidence.

Now, would Wei WuXian willingly work with the Jin sect in doing this? No. We know that, and, given Wei Wuxian's actions in his first life (refusing to hand over the Tally, not being afraid to stand up to the sects, etc), I’m pretty sure Jin Guangshan knows that, too:

He beat around the bush a couple of times, using all his skills, yet Wei WuXian didn’t give in no matter what, and it made him run into a bunch of obstacles. - Villainous Friends extra, EXR

So this could actually make things go two ways. One, I'm wrong and that wasn't actually part of the Jin sect's motivations, since they know they wouldn't be able to control him (and in that case, had they managed to summon him, I could imagine them putting him in a spirit-trapping pouch and doing something similar to what Jin Guangyao did to Nie Mingjue's head. Which, also, not good). Two, it was a part of their motivations, and they hoped to find a way around that. After all, there are other guidao users out there now, and Wei Wuxian would now be a gui*. Also, cultivators can obviously harm ghosts – see the very existence of Night Hunts, and I'd include Xue Yang's talisman-caused destruction of A-Qing as well (while he isn't a traditional cultivator, talismans can be used by everyone).

Now, would either of these methods actually work? I'm inclined to think not really (and I expand on the former method in a note below). Would that stop Jin Guangshan/Jin Guangyao/the cultivators they employ from trying? Especially considering Jin Guangshan's lust for power?

I'm inclined to think no, too.

For the third, look no further than Jiang Cheng's reputation of capturing and torturing demonic cultivators after Wei Wuxian's death, due to thinking they could be him. And this does happen – Jin Ling knows and talks about it, and there's not real motivation for him to negatively lie about someone he loves. Also, when they come across each other at Dafan Mountain, we're told this in Jiang Cheng's inner voice:

A moment ago, Jiang Cheng was certain that this person was Wei WuXian, and all of the blood in his body started to boil. Yet, now, Zidian was clearly telling him that he wasn’t. Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive him or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. - MDZS Chapter 10, EXR translation

This mainly shows that he's tortured people before, rather than that he's tortured people because he thinks they're Wei Wuxian, but this reason is confirmed by Jin Ling in Chapter 24. Of course, the reason is also mentioned in this chapter, and there are other moments in the chapter that illustrate my point better**, but they come from second-hand sources which I know are easier to deny. Do take note of Jiang Cheng's expression both times he comes across 'Mo Xuanyu' (after he suspects he's Wei Wuxian) in Book One***, though:

After a moment, the corners of Jiang Cheng’s lips pulled into a twisted smile. His left hand started to unconsciously stroke the ring [Zidian] again. He spoke softly, “… Well, well. So you’re back?” - Chapter 10, EXR Although his face had always been clouded, marked with arrogance and satire, it seemed as if every corner of it had come alive. It was difficult to determine whether it was vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy. - Chapter 23, EXR

This does seem to line up with what people say his attitude to Wei Wuxian is – there doesn't seem to be any happiness at seeing him again at all. The only time a word that could suggest that ('ecstasy') is used, it's accompanied by 'raving', and considering the context and the other possibilities of his expression, it's... probably not due to happiness at being reunited.

So, considering 1) this, 2) his contribution to the Siege specifically intended to kill Wei Wuxian, and 3) that at the time of frequent soul-summoning Jiang Yanli's death would be even closer for him, I feel pretty confident in saying that yes, this is likely a motivation for the Jiang sect in trying to re-summon Wei Wuxian's soul after his death. And, as mentioned earlier, cultivators can harm ghosts (and we know Zidian is able to remove souls posessing a body from that body, and that Jiang Cheng used Zidian on 'Mo Xuanyu' in Chapter 10. If it wasn't able to restrain/harm ghosts, or other methods weren't able to, why would he risk Wei Wuxian's soul escaping?).

And finally, option four: destruction. We're heading into much more speculative territory here, so don't consider this on par with the first three. But consider this:

We know there are some spells, like Xue Yang's talisman used on A-Qing and the body-offering ritual, that can ruin the returning soul’s reincarnation cycle by destroying it. Therefore, soul destruction is possible.

The 'main'/supposed reason for summoning Wei Wuxian's soul back is to stop the "cultivation world, or even all of mortal land" from being "faced with the most insane damnation and revenge, sinking into nothing but chaos and despair" when Wei Wuxian inevitably returns. While, as mentioned above, I severely doubt this is the motivation for certain sects – and to me is likely a rumour which the Jins (again, especially Jin Guangsha) fanned the flames of to justify summoning Wei Wuxian back for their own purposes**** – there are other sects which would take it more seriously.

Although likely disrespectful, people already thought it served Wei Wuxian right to die without his body intact by the time of the second siege – something believed to negatively affect your reincarnation in your next life*****. This is only the logical next step, and I'm pretty sure the vast majority of people would believe that, again, it would serve Wei Wuxian right, or would at least lead to less harm of the world in the long run.

For these reasons, I could definitely see this as an option for some sects, especially the sects who consider themselves more 'righteous' (cough cough the Nies under Nie Mingjue cough cough). After all, evil is evil and good is good, and the evil deserve what's coming to them. And what better way to prevent that than from preventing his soul from returning at all? So for the Nie sect – and likely some of the smaller sects involved in the Siege, since among them, additudes probably vary – yes, I do think it could be a motivation.

I’m not as sure about the Lans being willing to go this far, and that’s largely for two reasons. One, Lan Wangji’s presence and his relationship to Lan Xichen, who does (not always, but he does) let this affect how he treats Wei Wuxian. An example of this is that, when Wei Wuxian's return is made public, Lan Xichen does let him hide and shelter at the Cloud Recesses instead of trying to pursue him, likely majorly due to Lan Wangji. I'd argue that the aftermath of the Nightless City also acts as an example of this, although it definitely isn't perfect. But though he, Lan Qiren and the 33 elders do come to find Lan Wangji and do not let him continue to shelter Wei Wuxian (after they see Lan Wangji's feelings), Lan Xichen doesn't use this opportunity to kill/capture Wei Wuxian, despite Lan Wangji being in a worse condition due to having fought 33 elders, Wei Wuxian being catatonic, and Lan Qiren likely supporting this outcome (especially considering he was the one who led the Lan sect in the Siege – chapter 68, Wei Wuxian's POV). And he did let Lan Wangji take Wei Wuxian back to the Burial Mounds after:

After he went out of his way to send you back to Burial Mound and returned in such low spirits to receive his punishment, how long he kneeled before the Wall of Rules! - Chapter 99, EXR

Again, this was right after the Nightless City massacre – there isn't any goodwill towards Wei Wuxian at this point in time.

Of course, the Lan sect did participate in the siege after Lan Xichen knew of Lan Wangji's feelings towards Wei Wuxian, which Lan Xichen was no doubt a part of (although Lan Qiren lead the Lan sect in the siege, Lan XIchen had to have at least known/given his support, if not participated.) And it should be considered that Lan Xichen letting Wei Wuxian shelter at the Cloud Recesses was after Wei Wuxian had been back for a while, and had not caused the downfall of the Cultivation World, like many suspected he would after his death. And of course, as stated previously, his handling of the aftermath of Nightless City wasn't perfect either (though please note that his main motive here was to protect Lan Wangji from being potentially executed, rather than anything about Wei Wuxian himself). So caring about Lan Wangji doesn't mean he won't harm Wei Wuxian. But I do think he could find bringing Wei Wuxian's soul back to completely destroy it a bit excessive. There is, though, the chance that the elders of the Lan Sect would react to this differently, and of course they would have a sway on both Lan Xichen and the Lan sect as well.

The second reason is smaller, but there seems to be more focus in the Lan sect than in others when it comes to letting ghosts rest peacefully/helping them move on. And that could definitely lead to more resistance to the idea of summoning a soul back to destroy it as well, which could especially impact the elders. So I'd assume that the Lan sect would be the most likely sect to summon Wei Wuxian's soul back just for confinement, or just for some way of making sure any resentment is disippated, his spirit moves on, and he can't cause more harm to the world (eg via Inquiry)******. Not that he would or does as a ghost or as a reborn person, but that's unfortunately not relevant to this.

But yes, as a motivation for the Nie Mingjue-led Nie sect? Absolutely.

So, these are the main motives I suspect to be behind the attempted summoning of Wei Wuxian's soul after his death (and if I've missed any, please let me know – I'd love to have a discussion). And, of course, none of them lead to anywhere good. Because of course it wasn’t enough to besiege Wei Wuxian, murder the 50 non-combatants he was responsible for (and throwing them into the blood pit as a mark of disrespect because why not?), and lead to his death via him getting torn apart. It wasn’t enough to steal all his inventions, and use them commonly while still slandering him with no reprieve – or to steal his notes and give them to people like Xue Yang to study (Villainous Friends, again) and to use for their own, extremely extremely harmful, purposes. Of course, the cultivation world has to try to harm Wei Wuxian after death as well ((:

We don't know whether Wei Wuxian rejecting the summoning ceremonies was conscious or unconscious, but if it was the former, these are very likely reasons he refused to return in this way. If it was unconscious – for example, maybe during the frequent soul-summons his soul was in a weakened state due to him dying from a backlash of resentful energy and getting torn apart, and it healed over time but not before the soul-summoning rituals stopped – well, I can only be thankful.

Finally, let me leave you on the thought that – although it may well have happened since we don't spend much time in the immediate aftermath of the Sunshot campaign – there isn't even any textual mention of this happening to Wen Ruohan. Who, while not being a guidao user, was still very dangerous, still an extremely powerful cultivator, and still had a lot of reason to feel resentment. So.

:')

Thank you for reading!

--

*Considering what we see of how Wei Wuxian's guidao functions – redirecting the ghosts'/corpses' resentment into doing something they'd want to do, eg attacking people, and directing it towards a target – I'm not sure using it to force a spirit to do something 1) extremely specific, and 2) explicitly against their will would actually work. Iirc the closest thing we get to this in text is Wei Wuxian using the corpses of Wens to attack other Wens in the Sunshot Campaign, but he's still just directing their resentment to a target of his choice, and fierce corpses do tend to be on the less concious side of things (hence why Wei Wuxian had to awaken Wen Ning's consciousness). Considering how Wen Ning attacks Wei Wuxian and the Burial Mound Wens before his consciousness had fully awoken, I... really don't think those fierce corpses were able to differentiate (or didn't care).

Meanwhile, ghosts seem to be a bit more in control of themselves – see A-Qing, and Wei Wuxian's own descriptions of his ghost self.

That, alongside ghost!Wei Wuxian being able to resist his soul-summoning and the fact that pretty much all of the new guidao users are a lot weaker than he was, does make me think that this this wouldn't work. I do wonder about Xue Yang, since his methods are pretty different as well, but he's more of a modao user than a guidao user (he controls living corpses rather than dead people) and I don't think you can insert physical nails into ghosts?? Though if he was specifically instructed to figure out some way to control ghost!Wei Wuxian (who's probably kept in a spirit-trapping pouch in this scenario), he might be able to do something at least. Though also he was also struggling to piece Xiao Xingchen's ghost soul back together, so he may struggle with those areas?

Well, whatever the potential outcome, I'm so so happy once again that Wei Wuxian's soul managed to resist the soul-summonings...

**Mainly this:

Everyone in the cultivation world knew that the young leader of the Jiang Clan watched out for Wei WuXian in an almost crazed manner. He would rather catch the wrong person than let go of any possibility, and took anyone who seemed like they held the soul of Wei WuXian away to the YunmengJiang Sect, inflicting severe torture on his victim. If he wanted to take someone back, the opposition would surely lose half of their life. - Chapter 10, EXR

But I have heard people say 'you can't prove that it's just more rumours' before, and I wanted my evidence to be as watertight as possible.

(And, off-topic... isn't it really sad how Jiang Cheng, in the present day, is described as young? Because, for a clan leader, he is. And another thing he is, is close in age to Wei Wuxian – who was killed 13 whole years prior :') )

***And do note that the only other time they run into each other before Wei Wuxian's identity is revealed to the world apart from this is their brief interaction at Jinlintai, where he can't just act however he wants. The next time they run into each other after it, Jiang Cheng is literally taking part in another siege against him, and still extremely hostile ("surrounded by hostile energy, face insidious, staring straight at him" – from EXR chapter 60). Then he loses his spiritual powers and can't do anything. By the time he regains his powers, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and the Wen remnants' corpses have saved everyone during the Second Siege, and though public opinion hasn't properly shifted quite yet, it will soon after Sisi and Bicao tell the story of Jin Guangyao, and voila, a new scapegoat (do note that he doesn't completely bar Wei Wuxian from entering Lotus Pier after the Second Siege, though). Plus, throughout it all, Lan Wangji is still constantly present, which makes it hard for Jiang Cheng to really do anything. And then he's finally faced with the Golden Core reveal, which does alter his motivations towards Wei Wuxian (obviously the resentment is still there – read chapter 102 – but it's also mixed with other complex emotions, and he seems to start being able to move away from that a little in Chapter 103). I still definitely wouldn't describe Jiang Cheng's attitude towards him as positive, but it isn't at the point it was at the start of the novel (eg Chapter 10).

But even if his attitude does change, or would for whatever other reason apart from the reveal, that still doesn't change an initial motivation so isn't relevant to this meta. We know his intentions at the start.

****It's also possible they may have originated it, but I think WWX's reputation was bad enough for it to form naturally. Though you can trace a major part of that back to them, too.

*****That belief isn't outright stated in MDZS, but the fact people are specifically talking about the status of WWX's body in the aftermath of his death suggests that this belief does have some grounding in the MDZS universe, at least? And we know MXTX has included it in TGCF (though that doesn't mean it's definitely in MDZS), so she has used it in her works. If this isn't the case in the MDZS universe I am sorry (although that could also mean there's less importance placed on not disturbing the reincarnation cycle in the world of MDZS...? Which would work towards my original argument) – I don't want to spread misinformation that something is definitely true, I just think there's evidence to suggest it is true, which isn't the same thing.

******Again, I think this would depend on who ends up having more influence over who in the Lan sect. After all, normal resentful spirits only do what they do because of their resentment in death, whereas Wei Wuxian is 'dangerous' because of who everyone thinks he was in life – so him being reborn naturally could also 'cause a lot of harm to the world' during the time period this version of him would live in, unlike the resentful ghosts they appease. This could definitely lead to many advocating for confinement, I think.

[hephaestuscrew]

I want to talk about the significance of which characters defeats the different antagonists in the Wolf 359 finale: Kepler kills Rachel (and vice versa), Jacobi kills Riemann, Minkowski kills Cutter with the help of Lovelace, and Hera and Eiffel wipe Pryce's memories. As I'll argue below, none of those combinations are incidental.

Jacobi and Kepler each get to dispatch an adversary, but, since they've only recently and - perhaps reluctantly - aligned with our protagonists in their aims, they each deal with more minor antagonists. Rachel and Riemann are ultimately following orders rather than giving them, so their defeat - while important - doesn't have the same emotional weight as that of Pryce or Cutter. This is also why the confrontations with Riemann and Rachel each conclude significantly before the confrontations with Pryce and Cutter. (Cont. below cut)

I'd argue that Riemann is the least developed character in the show (of those that are voiced and appear in more than one episode). He's nothing more than a Goddard henchman, and that's deliberate. Jacobi’s investment in this fight is practical, rather than emotional. There's no personal antagonism between the two of them. And this works for Jacobi as a character - his job has always been to “make very big things blow up” and he's only recently started properly putting his own independent thought into who he wants to be blowing up. So Jacobi and Riemann face off against each other in a locked room, with a fistfight and then an explosion.

In contrast, Kepler and Rachel do have personal antagonism between them. It's clear that they have a history of professional dislike. In Kepler's backstory episode, Rachel clearly takes a great deal of glee in mocking Kepler about “Operation Gigantic, Humiliating Screw Up”, and Kepler certainly doesn't seem pleased to see Rachel when the Sol arrives at the Hephaestus in Ep55. Although there are obviously other motivations involved, their petty interpersonal hatred gives an interesting extra significance to them killing each other.

Another way to frame it is that Kepler and Rachel are two people at a similar middle-of-the-hierarchy level who've both been faced with a degree of undeniable evil even beyond what they've previously encountered from (and enacted on behalf of) their employer, and had to decide what they are willing to go along with. Their mutual killing of each other is the result of a conflict between two contrasting potential decisions in that situation. 

It's also notable that while the minor antagonists are each defeated by a single character on their own, the major villains could not have been defeated in this way. The two most significant confrontations in the finale each involve a pair of characters who care deeply about each other standing together against someone who has personally hurt them. 

After killing Cutter, Minkowski acknowledges she “couldn't... have done it... without you, Captain”. Similarly, the way Eiffel and Hera defeat Pryce required both Eiffel's sacrifice (it is important that wiping the mindspace is his idea) and Hera's abilities (it takes a lot of mental and emotional strength for her to enact that plan). The ethos of the show all comes back to that quote from Eiffel in Ep25 that needing help from others “is called being a part of a crew. You ever meet anyone that could get things done all on their lonesome?”

It's important that Hera confronts Pryce - she gets the chance to stand in defiance against a person who has caused her so much pain. Hera gets to assert herself as her own person against the first person not to treat her as one. While I certainly don't think anyone should feel responsible for confronting those who have personally hurt them in real life, it would have been narratively unsatisfying for Pryce to have been defeated without Hera playing a central role. That confrontation is necessary for catharsis and resolution of Hera's character arc. But it's important that Hera doesn't have to do it alone. It's important that she does it with Eiffel, the person she is closest to, by her side. And what's more, in that mindspace, he's by her side in a more literal direct way than he has ever has been before.

Terrifying as Pryce is, it's Cutter who has been our 'big bad' throughout the whole series, the one that we've been aware of since we became aware of larger sinister forces at work in this narrative. And so it's apt that he's defeated by Minkowski, the Commander, with the help of Lovelace. Our two protagonists who have at points been defined by their leadership positions defeat the villain who has been defined by his leadership over them. Our two Commanders defeat the person above them in the chain of Command. 

If Minkowski has a personal nemesis, it's Cutter (as I argued in my Minkowski harpoon essay). Now that Hilbert's gone, the same could probably be said of Lovelace. He's the one who recruited them (and their respective crews, assuming that he was involved in the recruitment of the other members of Lovelace's crew as well) into the hellscape that is the Hephaestus. He's the one basically all of their pain and turmoil ultimately comes back to.

Minkowski & Lovelace's confrontation against Cutter, and Hera & Eiffel's confrontation against Pryce, are both about the harm that's been done to them as individuals. And about the harm done or threatened to their loved ones (including the friend they each stand beside in this particular confrontation). And about their principles and themes around control, autonomy, personal agency, and identity. And about the desire to protect people in general on a larger, global or even galactic, scale.

And all of those resonances work particularly well because of the specific choices made about which protagonists should face off against which antagonists, in order to provide the most effective culmination of the character arcs that have been built over 61 episodes.

[twistedtummies2]

Requiem of the Rose King

I'm taking a brief break from kinky things, because I just want to briefly spotlight an anime I only just recently discovered and binged through. It's a fairly new series, having only completed it's run I think two years ago; I'm sort of surprised I didn't know about it sooner.

The series is entitled "Requiem of the Rose King." It is a reimagining of Shakespeare's "War of the Roses" saga, with the first season being inspired by the three-part play of "Henry VI" (with just the tiniest amount of "Richard II" thrown in), and the second season being based on the climactic finish of the saga, and one of my personal favorite plays in the Shakespeare canon, "Richard III." While these plays are of course dramas inspired by historical events, Shakespeare already takes liberties with history, and this anime even more so; therefore, I won't be considering historical detail at all. This will be solely looked at from the perspective of fiction and with relation to Shakespeare's work.

"Requiem" focuses primarily on Richard III; instead of his historical and Shakespearean scoliosis, Richard's infamous "deformity" is instead reimagined to him being an intersex male. This is only the first of many, MANY things that are reimagined from Shakespeare's stories. While the series is done with modern lingo for the most part, it not only contains multiple quotes and paraphrases from the Bard throughout, but also includes some original dialogue written in iambic pentameter, much as Shakespeare would have written it. So while a lot of things in here - from the language to the issues involved - are exceptionally modern day, the DNA of its classical theatre roots can still be easily found.

While the series carries over the basic plotline and most fundamental character relationships from the plays, what really changes are the motivations behind the characters and events, and the details of how things go down. For example: in "Richard III," the Duke of Buckingham is Richard's second-in-command, who eventually turns against Richard, and is depicted as being just as scheming and devious as Richard himself, if not even more so. All this is still true in "Requiem," but now there's the added wrinkle of the pair forming a romantic relationship, and it's their feelings for each other that ultimately lead to their conflict.

Richard, himself, is a highly complicated figure; it's hard to say what he is. I wouldn't say he's a misunderstood hero, nor would I say he's an anti-hero. I would like to say he's a sympathetic villain protagonist, but considering his enemies are often just as bad as he is, if not arguably worse, even that feels somewhat inaccurate. He still does many of the despicable things Richard does in the plays: he has his own brother murdered, personally slays Henry VI, captures and imprisons his nephews in the Tower of London, manipulates Lady Anne, and more. Even things he's NOT actually responsible for he either indirectly causes, or willingly takes the blame for reasons all his own. However, once you know the reasons why he does these things, and who the people he hurts really are, it becomes difficult to categorize him into any particular alignment. This ambiguity extends to the way his story ends, which I won't give away here, but seems fittingly uncertain for a character who is steeped in uncertainty throughout the show: from his personal identity to his goals to his purposes, Richard constantly questions himself and others, and every time he thinks he has an answer and can find order, something new comes along to thrust his life into further and further chaos.

Ultimately, "Requiem of the Rose King" is a tragic story: though thoroughly modern in its approach, it has a lot of the motifs and ideas present not only in Shakespeare's "War of the Roses" saga, but in the Bard's work in general. It's a unique tribute to arguably the greatest English playwright of all time (certainly the most famous), while also being an intriguing story in its own right. It probably won't be for everyone, given some of the themes involved and its loose treatment of both history AND the classical source materials, but if you have an open enough mind, I think you'll find a lot to enjoy here. I certainly did. Also, for anybody wondering if there are any characters worth "kink-ifying" in here...honestly, I still haven't made up my mind there. Time and tastes will tell. XD Oh, and in case you're all wondering, I chose to watch the English Dub of this series, for various reasons, and I can vouch for it and say it's an extremely good one. If, however, you prefer subs all the time, anytime, I imagine they won't be difficult to track down. :P

[grimm-tales-gamer]

Fallen Hero: Sidestep 7

already at 7, been doing this for a straight week and I am not even half way lol. I play this game too much. Anyway:

Name: Wu Mei

Gender: female she/her

Villain name: Entity

Villainous role: hero hunter

Motivation: justice

Scar: outsider

Reason for gala: money

Where is she now?: free, innocent, and planing

   Mei is probably my most put together sidestep. She definitely has her stuff put together a lot more than the others I’ve gone over! Not saying she doesn’t have problems because she certainly does. As sidestep she never felt that she truly belonged, she was a vigilante, could never show her face, and could never become a ranger; as Chen was so quick to remind her. After heartbreak though it got worse. She felt abandoned, inhuman, like an “other”. I think she’s working through the trauma of heartbreak though, so there is hope of her feeling “human” again.

   Wu Mei wants justice for what happened to her. What is happening to regenes like her. However, due to the enemy being essentially the US government, she doesn’t believe the heroes would ever side with her. They would prefer to side with their own kind. So, she deals with them; however, she rarely kills. She never kills civilians and will usually only kill villains and enemy agents when absolutely necessary. She even saves people when she can. She doesn’t understand why she still feels the need to save others, they’re humans. Humans would never help her, humans would never save her. So why does she feel like she still needs to be a hero?

   Anyway, in terms of relationships Mei keeps her distance.. or tries to. Mortum is simply a business associate, Herald is her student (MUCH to her chagrin), and Argent and her tolerate each other (buuuuut Argent gets along great with Entity). The problems arise with Ortega and Chen. Ortega (Ricardo in this run) is her best friend. Her first friend, her brother, her only family. She tried to stay away, but whenever Ricardo asks for help she comes. She really can’t say no to him, I don’t think Ortega knows the power he has over her. Then there’s Chen, despite how they were during the sidestep days Chen and Mei started to become friends. It was slow, but it seemed that time had made these two compatible for a strong bond. Then Chen told Mei that he had pictures of an “autopsy”. Mei ran, she felt like every fear she had of humans were being proven true. They knew, they knew and they didn’t save her; because she wasn’t worth it. She isn’t human.

   After what happened with Chen all of Mei’s relationships are pending. The future of all of them, including her and Ortega, are dependent on how Revelations go. It could reinforce Mei’s scar and fears or Mei could open up. Actually let someone in and tell them the truth… about being a regene, good god, she’s never telling them she’s Entity.

Fun facts!:

Mei only chain smokes when anxious. People around her might say that she always chain smokes around them. That’s her secret captain… she’s always anxious around humans.

Back when Mei was homeless in the sidestep days she would sleep in particular parks that people didn’t go to as often so the thoughts of pigeons and other birds would wake her up rather than humans.

Even though she has tons of money, Mei lives at her base at the electronic repair shop. She even tries to live within the income of what business she actually gets from business. She thinks that buying “luxuries” makes her feel that she’s “trying too hard to be human.”

There are only a few vibe quotes I have for Mei, if I share one though it’s very simple: “Dreaming is free.”

No romance for her yet, but after reading the lore post with Mortum and Sky-Raider (which I highly recommend reading if you haven’t) I think Sky-Raider may be the one for her!

Now for stats, armor, and appearance:

Mei prefers anonymity at 75%, empathy at 80%, and caution at 89%! She prefers power of mind at 80, though I remember her subtle manipulation not being far off either.

Armor and appearance: scary. Eldritch looking, all black with white pinprick eyes. Actually seeing the details of the armor doesn’t help it be less scary, tentacles like attachments burst from the face and others look like they are wrapping around the arms and legs with what looks like a maw of teeth and eyes on the torso.

Add ons: armor and telepathy

Extra: the voice modulator is made to look sound like multiple voices.

Wu Mei’s appearance:

Race: Asian

Height: medium. I’m imagining around 5ft 6in (1.67m)

Hair: straight black hair that is shoulder length

Eyes: black

Style: edgy military. Pretty much only black and other dark colors, lots of oversized coats and jackets with heavy duty clothes. She can show no one.

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Okay okay okay, I've got so much to say and I wanted to send it direct-to-you because writers don't get enough love on here and I will be the change I wanna see 😭😭😭

I just binged all of Comet Donati (so far) and want to say out the gate: not only do you have a fantastic grip on characterization, but on wordplay as well. The way you write manages to sound so casual and yet so clever at the same time, twists of words that had me going "oh!" Because how did I never think to word things like that??? It makes me feel dumb but in a really good, excited way (looking at u: describing the Missouri river as a snake with scales of silver moonlight 😭👀)

The flashbacks are so well done, cut into pieces in a way that feels dreamy and so intriguing, and I love the way it slowly builds more and more in relation to what's happening in the current day of the fic.

Which brings me back to characterisation, starting w Aegon: You have hands down one of the best interpretations of him I've ever seen??? He's so fucking vulnerable, so sweet, so charming, so kind, and yet at the same time you get the sense he's keeping everything at arms length. He's playful and loud and it prevents anyone from taking that vulnerability he has and doing something with it. He'll cross the entire city to pick a fistfight with his brother for you, and then disappear in a snap of fingers the moment it seems like a line might be crossed. That's him, that's the boy that stole my heart officer.

Baela and Rhaena ACTUALLY having personalities and agency in a fic??? Say it ain't fucking so 😭😭😭 I love them so much, and the key pieces of personality and Really interesting character design choices (the quote from Rhaenys on Baela, for example) and the fact that her conflict w Jace doesn't feel hammy or gimmicky? Using beautiful Aeg again- people have a tendency to turn their chosen character into a cardboard villain for the sake of pushing the story forward, and while he's clearly an asshole it doesn't feel like the shit that's done to Aegon where he's literally nothing else 😭😭😭

And of course, beautiful, troublesome Aemond. This living tragedy, I adore him even when I want to slap the sense into him. He's exactly like the Aemond we'd all expect, but you've managed to adapt him to a modern setting so so well, that he's the one that kept Luke along and that he fought so hard for him. I just love the humanity he has in this without losing the fact he's a pretentious bitch 😭😭😭

All in all thank you I love this fic, and I had a really surreal moment reading "Aemond x reader, Aegon x reader" and going "oooh, the Fic For Me" and then reading

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI???

My ass cheeks gripped my chair istg, eyes rolled out, the sweat formed, actually literally the first time anyone has ever written a story here that I've seen

OK ily bye—🏃💨

BESTIE!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍 This was such an amazing surprise and it made me so wildly happy!! For the first 5ish chapters of a fic, it's always difficult for me to tell if it's really working and hitting the tone that I intended, so to see this just gives me so much reassurance that I'm doing an okay job with Comet. I love these characters and they certainly all feel real to me...but I think it's clear that I am at heart an Aegon girlie and I've never written a HOTD fic that didn't make people unwillingly fall at least a little bit in love with him. 😂 He's such a mess, but an unsuspectingly gentle and insightful one...? That's really all thanks to TGC, his vision for Aegon is the characterization I have always connected with. I cannot wait to show you what's in store for this deranged little boy band...so many things... 👀

I am thrilled that you enjoy the setting being (sort of, a little bit) Kansas City...I don't think I'm capable of writing an AU fic without having it anchored in a specific setting with ~vibez~ ...and also I've never been to Missouri before, but I've spent a LOT of time on Google Earth doing my research, so hopefully I've done it justice so far. 😁 I have a feeling...a spidey sense...that we might end up spending some significant time in Kansas City towards the end of the series...but first...many other far-flung destinations await... 👀

[yanderechuu]

Shower Thoughts

yandere!Class 1A x fem!reader

[3.2K]

Summary: Momo wasn’t as trustable as you had presumed.

Warning: Larceny, nonconsensual touching, masturbation

│

You used to spend roughly ten minutes in the shower, only ever needing to soak your body in the water, apply shampoo and body wash before rinsing all the foam of products from your skin and scalp. Shower thoughts simply consisted of the day’s agenda or any special occurrence that had happened the past week, never really drifting off to existential questions and dark notions that would keep you from leaving the bathroom later than usual. You neither necessarily liked taking a shower nor did you dread it, as to you it was only ever a mandatory routine of the day which you handled with a neutral mind.

But now, ten minutes were already a slow thirty, and majority of the time you bothered not to move your arms to make work of your hair, or lather your skin with soap as you normally would do had it not been for the questions plaguing your mind like how your classmates would terrorize your time and space.

Right, your classmates - who would spend every hour of the day with you as if they didn’t have anything better to do. As if you were an important subject of matter next to hero training. You never appreciated it, because from the start, you did not want to have anything do to with them. They smothered and coddled you as if air wasn’t that important to you, disregarding the way you felt about personal space, how it was very significant to you. Rare were the moments of peace as a few of them were always by your side, ‘ensuring your safety’ as they would like to quote it. Why ensure your safety? You had not been a prominent figure in the sports festival, neither did you have a quirk that could be of great utility for the villains unlike Bakugou or Tokoyami. You weren’t a problem child, either. Their justification of following you around like you were some sort of high-maintenance prisoner made no sturdy sense to you.

“There’s this new package of green tea my mother had sent me this week! Would you like to try it, (y/n)?”

“Sure.”

But if you had to choose among your classmates one whom you would tolerate for the following years you’d be in U.A., that would be Yaoyorozu Momo. She was kind and considerate, often determining your feelings before you could voice it out (not that you really had the courage to, most of the time). She was organized and pristine and never had you met someone more befitting for the definition of ‘mom friend’ than her. She was perfect in nearly every way, and even though you’d have the occasional pang of jealousy at some times her perfectionism was displayed (gender envy, isn’t it, (y/n)?), she never seemed to bear mal intent, so you would let the emotions slide. You’d see the galaxy in her eyes if you would stare long enough. Her tea was best substitute for coffee, too.

You never considered her more than a very great friend, though, and to her, that was a problem.

As you sauntered your way over to your dorm with her, you shuffled your bag to take your room key buried in the side pockets. “I’ll go down in a while, but you better make sure you’re in the common room before me.”

You wouldn’t allow your classmates to take advantage of your lone self simply because Momo wasn’t there to fend them off.

“Mhm! Lemon green tea as usual, correct?”

“Yeah. Thanks again, YaoMomo.”

Your use of sotto voce tone on her nickname gave a pleasant shiver down her spine; her eyes almost rolled to the back of her head had she not restrained herself. Having been always kept to yourself, you never felt the need to adjust your volume for others to hear properly, so oftentimes your voice came out in a whisper - not that she minded, of course. You sounded more sensual that way.

“Are you going to take a while or will I have to brew tea right away?”

“Training was more strenuous than usual, and my muscles can’t seem to relax,” you explained, “so I’m going to take a quick shower.”

From your peripheral vision as you were focused on your bag to fish out the key, you saw Momo’s jaw slack upon hearing your plan to take a bath. It was odd, but you didn’t give particular attention to it when you finally took out your desired item. You failed to notice the way she abruptly settled her gaze on the key, inspecting it as if she was deliberating its shape, form, and material, and installing it to memory.

“Oh- oh!” She exclaimed. “I do remember having some body wash that help soothe muscle strains and body aches. I can hand them to you if you want.”

You shook your head, smiling lightly. “You’re too kind, YaoMomo. But I think just hot water will do for me.”

She watched as you opened the door to your room, giving her one more smile before disappearing inside and locking the door with a distinct click. As soon as you did so, she pulled the sleeve of her wrist up, developing with her body lipids a key the exact copy of the one you had held.

You certainly lied when you had said you were going to take a ‘quick’ shower. Already ten minutes into it did you only decide to sleek yourself with liquid body soap, initially absentmindedly rubbing it on your body, before you gradually got rougher with your movements and soon you found yourself scuffing your own flesh with vehement motion.

They were excessively touchy again, your classmates. Denki got too close to your face while delivering a pick-up line that made you wish you didn’t exist in order to hear it, and upon nearing you did Bakugou pull you away from him, cursing at him to buzz off. He took his time feeling up your waist - the part he used to grab you - while at it. During lunch, as you were once again coerced into joining his group to the cafeteria, Izuku refused to let go of your hand as you walked, and Uraraka as adamant with hugging you by the hips with one arm. It was what girlfriends did, she said, and you were not entirely sure whether or not she referred to that word romantically.

And if not, then did girlfriends also normally touch the parts of which you did not want to be touched on? You felt, clear as day, a bare hand resting on your thigh when you sat on your usual spot, dangerously close to lifting your skirt for everyone to see, and when you gave Hagakure’s faceless face a questioning look, she asked you what was wrong. Her uniform sleeve was literally floating on top of your lap, and still she had the gall to pretend as if she was not touching you with lacking consent. 

 You were not safe from Shoto, either, when he offered to readjust your uniform tie and you were in no place to decline (you had the right to, but they just stripped you off of it), his breath hitching in ecstasy as his fingers brushed your chest; he was, audaciously enough, not hiding his bliss. Then he rubbed your shoulders to ‘warm you up,’ when all he really intended to do was motivate his own fantasy that you were his and he was simply scenting you like some fucking alpha to his omega.

You turned no blind eye to their gesticulations. You never once found it endearing, and wished they would stop with whatever the hell this was called, because you were quite sure this was past the border of molestation and could already be rendered a form of bullying.

But not once did you consider the possibility of having a class obsessed with your quaint self.

So you supposed that until you’d find a way to deduce their idiosyncratic actions and tendencies then you would have to make do with your own bathroom as your safe space. Momo was the only classmate you could confide to, so at least she was there.

Unfortunately, you had yet to see the other side of her coin.

Because as she was just right outside your bathroom door, obsessively taking in every bit of item you owned inside your dorm room like a madman, you were left with the impression that she was all you could ever ask for in a friend. You didn’t know how she was not any better than the rest of your classmates, adoring your very existence to the extent of insanity; how she’d crave for you so often and so terribly that she’d feel herself clench when you do so much as merely spare her a glance. And you had done that a lot today - she would have to relieve herself for it.

She spotted the heap of clothes right by your bed; it became apparent that you had stripped yourself off of it before entering the bathroom and taking a shower. Walking towards it, a portion of your seamless underwear came to view, and she resisted the urge to render into a mound of horniness in order to pick it up and inspect it closely.

It was a lighter color of (s/c). A plain, simple, modest undergarment item, still it evoked a particular feeling on the bottom center of Momo’s hips. The heat came rushing along her midriff and instigated the muscle of her legs to falter, and as soon as she felt it, a hand of hers drifted past her skirt, feeling up the slick accumulated on the fabric of her own panties only with the knowledge that your panties were currently in her possession. She needed release, but you were nearly finished with your bath, and she was still inside your room.

You walked out of the shower the moment she shut the door of your bedroom. You saw it closed, but you didn’t catch the culprit.

This unnerved you to no end. Undoubtedly, you thought, this had to be one of your classmates. Who else was it supposed to be? Aizawa-sensei (...)? You had yet to know their ultimatum, but you were sure this occurrence was another one of their schemes. You had assumed that all their weird, unappreciated antics were just to get you to socialize with them, but now you didn’t understand why it had gotten to the point of entering your room without permission.

You couldn’t keep this to yourself.

So you planned to bring it up to Momo, a representative of your class and someone whom you deemed trustable enough to share it with. Quickly, you dressed into your casual indoor attire, and rushed outside your room to head to the kitchen, where you presumed she’d be in the process of making your tea. But she wasn’t there.

Instead, she was in her own room, your panties muzzled right into her face and her own fingers buried deeply inside her cunt.

“Oh- oh, god- Ah! (Y/n)!”

Oh god, your panties. Oh god, your panties. The object most intimate to your parts of intimacy, soaking every bit of womanly secretion from your genitalia. Of all the masturbation sessions she had done to the thought of you, this was the hottest. She wasn’t quite sure whether to imagine your cunt on her lips in a position of mutual cunnilingus or your fingers thrusting into her in place of hers. She wanted both.

A whine slipped past her lips. To think that moments ago, she was in the same space as you were nude. Oh, to join you in the bathroom, doing inenarrable things to each other with the use of the showerhead. To touch your skin selfishly rather than only watch as she would do during class hours.

She came with a squeal, falling face-down to bite the duvet of her large bed. Gone in her hazy mind was her promise to you of lemon green tea, and as she still basked in the pathological euphoria of getting off, you were in the common room, anxiously waiting for her return.

But just as you had expected, someone was bound to spot you alone and take this as an opportunity to be with you, and they just so happened to be-

Oh. Aoyama.

He offered you a slice of cheese with his usual grin before settling down a few feet beside you, enough to leave you be in your personal bubble. You gave him occasional glances, unwrapping the cheese from its casing and he just sat there, eating his. He was alright, you guessed - another tolerable classmate of yours next to Momo. Perhaps it was because you used to always be alone in the classroom with him during break time that you were at ease with his presence. Or maybe he just seemed so gay and that, for some reason, comforted you. One gay presence could comfort another lol.

“It’s delicious.” Your comment came out inadvertently.

“Oui. Only the best quality for the best person.” He flaunted.

You weren’t exactly sure whether he was referring to you or to himself, but you paid little attention to that as the cheese was certainly delicious; you were not lying.

“It’s odd how your chose to take a bath at this time of the day.” He spoke.

You stopped chewing.

He meant to refer to your damp hair, but having just suspected your class of breaking and entering your room, you thought otherwise.

“I-” You choked on the cheese, ending up needing to gulp it like liquid content instead of breaking it down to fit your throat. 

Immediately, he sprang up in concern, stepping over to you to gently thump you on the back. “Are you alright?”

“No- I mean- I just-!” You wheezed, occasionally having to clear your throat. You swatted his hand away from you; you hadn’t meant to appear rude, but you did. You stood up in a rush. “L-look, I have to go.”

“Don’t you want to drink water?”

“I’m- fine,”

With your words, you took off from the common room area and headed back to your room. There were two sets of emotions that mixed to form the bile in your throat. One was wrath and humiliation upon the discovery of Aoyama’s actions. The other was betrayal and confusion from Momo’s absence when she had said she’d be brewing tea for you, and it wasn’t the tea that disheartened you. She knew of your issue with the class, and if she were busy, couldn’t she have texted you a heads-up?

She shouldn’t be surprised when at the next time she saw you, you interacted with her less. Your intention to distance yourself from her was most prominent, and it didn’t help that your classmates took notice of this, because now they were taking advantage of the situation, tagging you along with them in spite of your futile attempts to decline now that Momo was nowhere to tell them off. When she’d talk to you, you would answer, though your voice was back to speaking to her like she was a stranger. 

Resentment was stronger than ruing the lack of intimacy between you two. It was as if she had received your panties in exchange for the time she’d be spending with you, oddly enough. After much deliberation, she came to realize that this was your little ‘tantrum’ after not being able to meet with her the other day. 

It was pretty cute, she thought, that you’d try and make her acknowledge the fault on her part by ignoring her.

You didn’t walk with her back to dorms as per usual that dismissal. Instead, just like what you had used to do before finding consolation in her, you walked alone, accomplishing being able to avoid your classmates as you did. By the time she reached the dorms, you were in the kitchen, fetching a glass of water to satiate your throat. She took a hold of your wrist before you went back to your room.

“(Y/n),” she pleaded, “tell me what’s wrong.”

You looked at her with a reluctant expression. Perhaps you should. After the short while that you had been hanging out with her, her presence turned into something you came to miss. You wanted her back, but not in the way she wanted you.

“I-it’s just,” you stammered out, “y-you know how I feel being alone in the common room without you. I... I’m not comfortable with our classmates when you’re not around.” She took pride in this. “I don’t take it lightly how you left me alone the other day...”

Your voice faltered out the longer you spoke.

So she was correct; you were certainly having your little ‘tantrum.’ With a guilty smile, she left your wrist to hold your hand tenderly, and suddenly it dawned upon you the feeling of whenever Bakugou held your waist, Shoto nuzzled his face on your neck or Izuku invaded your personal space.

Fear and apprehension.

Before you could preach your objection to whatever she had planned ahead for you, she dragged you along with her and you both reached her dorm room before you could comprehend where she was taking you. 

“I’ll make it up to you.” She said, making you sit on her large bed.

Then she proceeded to make you tea, boiling water with an electric kettle situated on top of her study desk; there also laid a tea set next to her three books, which you assumed were those of which would aid her in the utility of her quirk, like encyclopedias. Beside those was a piece of cloth, unfolded, unkept - a (s/c)-colored silk fabric.

Your face drained of color.

She pushed the books towards the cloth, completely obscuring it from your view and leaving the table disorganized. You knew Momo, neat and orderly as much as possible; she wouldn’t do that without reason.

Now that you thought about it, the same day someone had barged in your room, your underwear had been missing from your set of laundry garments. You spent the next whole day actively avoiding Aoyama, thinking he was the culprit to this felony. At the present moment you were reconsidering your allegation.

“U-um, Momo, I need to go-”

“Here!”

She yelled it so giddily, so uncharacteristically, as she pushed the cup of tea towards your way. How she did so was very quick that you had not the time to take it properly, and steaming liquid fell to your décolletage, past the cotton of your uniform and streaming down the valley of your breasts. It was a moist mess. She loved every bit of it.

“Oh! Oh, my bad. I’ll- I’ll clean you up!” She exclaimed, all flushed and excited.

You didn’t find it in you to push her back when she began to do exactly what she had said, taking your blazer off, loosening your school tie and unbuttoning the dress shirt underneath, only ever being able to stare at her with eyes that evinced betrayal, because it slowly occurred to you that she was satiating her own selfish obsession with you all under the ruse of maintaining a decent friendship. 

“(Y/n),” She breathed out, “I adore you.”

She was no different than the rest of your classmates, and you were a fool to think otherwise.

[introverses]

Character Trope Quiz!

Tagged by: @saisbrothershin (many a moon ago)

Tagging: @swarmchild, @nihilunarian, @hyuugahisoka, @dendengpedes

//Also I’m tagging one of my sideblogs (@cropofshinobi) because I’m very curious what the results for Sakumo would be.

The Protagonist

The character responsible for handling the main problem and the one most in need of change, emotionally. You are ambitious and are considered to be highly courageous. You have a good set of morals and love to do the right thing. Overall, you’re just incredibly well-rounded. You are typically seen as extroverted and involved in many different things. You can make friends easily and people are attracted to your outstanding personality. You don’t mind being the center of attention every once and a while!

[ufonaut]

friend... have you seen the connor hawke news... it's honestly upset me beyond belief. i was hoping, praying, that he was finally going to be confirmed gay and instead . boom . he's not . it's heartbreaking. am i wrong to feel that way about it, especially when it seemed like that was what they were going for??

it is heartbreaking, you're not wrong to feel this way at all and frankly so do i. as i said a couple days ago, connor hawke has been gaycoded since his creation and the fact that the article to break the news fully embraces the ahistorical insistence on some fictitious notion of ace-coding for a character created in 1994 is just a slap to the face for any lgbt fan

and no matter how connor might be written in the present day and regardless of who the writer in charge is, it's just plain ridiculous to claim that's been the intention all along. connor has specifically & canonically stated he's uncomfortable with women, you cannot possibly take his confusion around straight men being sexually attracted to women and claim it's confusion at "horny allosexual behavior" -- which is a direct quote from the article (gee, thanks for lumping us gay folks together with straight people! it's totally an absolutely identical situation!). connor has been asked if he's gay more than any character in dc's entire history, that is certainly no accident and neither is the fact that he'd never once denied it. we're not talking about the actions of a real person here, we're talking about a narrative building up for years and years.

and if the phrasing itself from that "allosexual" quote doesn't strike you as homophobic enough, never fear because the villain chosen for the story is a character created specifically for one of the most recognisable gay men in media.

why is this the perfect villain for the story? i couldn't possibly tell you when, say, connor remaining unaffected by some poison ivy-esque scheme or something similar would've surely been more topical.

i expected it because i've learned to expect the worst but i sure would've liked to live in a world where at one point in time green arrow had been a mixed race gay kid who couldn't have been more different from his father and still succeeded in doing it all his own way. i'd even argue that with ollie's upcoming death, it would've been the perfect time to have connor go on another soul-searching road trip with kyle and find out a couple things about himself in the process too. we can't have that though, can we? we can't have a "dedicated monk and martial arts expert" be gay because he's so far above disgusting """allosexual""" behaviour, huh? or because he's now been aged down and nobody wants us corrupting the kiddies?

making a long-time gaycoded character asexual is an act of homophobia and we've got the right to be heartbroken over it, anyone who's blind to that fact simply isn't living in the real world.

[clear-as-starlight]

Nathan Hale’s Death vs the Primary Sources

(aka did William Hull actually know anything?)

“The first the Americans heard of Hale’s death was on the evening of the twenty-second [September 1776], when Captain John Montresor…an aide de camp to General Howe, approached an outpost…under flag of truce. His main business…did not concern Hale, but was to transport to Washington a letter from Howe offering an exchange of high-ranking prisoners. Joseph Reed, accompanied by General Israel Putnam and Captain Alexander Hamilton, rode to meet him. After passing over the letter, he casually added that one Nathan Hale, a Captain, had been executed that morning.”

This passage comes from “Washington’s Spies: The Story of America’s First Spy Ring” by Alexander Rose and it, along with the wonderful @queerrevolution1776 inspired me to go on a (brief) primary source deep dive of Hale’s death. A challenge, given the lack of primary sources surrounding Hale’s spy work, and the tall tales that grew up around it.

I started here: Why was Hamilton there? He was not an aide-de-camp at this point, why would he be present? And that question, my friends, led to a whole host of others!

(Info under the cut because there is a lot, and it’s fascinating :))

The (Un)reliability of Recollection 

The idea of Hamilton having been present to hear of Hale’s fate, so far as I can see, is first related in “Revolutionary Services and Civil Life of General William Hull”, a biography based on Hull’s unpublished memoirs, and written by his daughter, Maria Hull Campbell:

“In a few days, an Officer came to our camp, under a flag of truce, and informed Hamilton, then a Captain of the Artillery, but afterwards an aide to General Washington, that Captain Hale had been arrested within the British lines, condemned as a Spy, and executed that morning. I learned the melancholy particulars from this officer, who was present at his execution, and seemed touched by the circumstances attending it.”

William Hull was a friend of Hale’s from Yale, and they were both in the 19th Regiment, before Hale transferred to Knowlton’s Rangers. A lot of what we know of Hale’s death seems to come from Hull’s memoirs, right down to his (possibly incorrect and/or exaggerated) final words: “I only regret, that I have but one life to lose for my country.” Hull was a close friend of Hale’s, so it does make some sense that he’d know something of it. However, the above biography was written in 1848, and related conversations that had taken place a long time earlier. Campbell herself admits she includes conversations not even present in her father’s memoirs.

Though her book is not the only 18th/19th century one about Hale’s death, it quickly became clear that all of them were based on conversations with Hull. The first time the name ‘Nathan Hale’ even entered the public conscious properly after the war was in 1799, in Hannah Adams’ “A Summary History of New England and General Sketch of the American War” where she writes: “The compiler of this History of New England is indebted to Gen. Hull of Newton for this interesting account of Captain Hale.”

Hale isn’t mentioned again until 1824, in a book by Jedediah Morse, who says he got his info from Adams, who in turn got it from Hull. It seems likely, then, that the idea of Hamilton being there (and indeed, that most of what we know) came from Hull’s supposed recollection, 20+ years after the event took place.

Now, this is not to say that Hull was lying. Return records show that he and his Regiment were certainly present at “Camp near to Harlem Heights” with Washington’s forces at the time that Washington would have been given the information about Hale, and we know Hamilton and his Artillery were present also, as it is at Harlem Heights that he apparently first came to Washington’s notice (according to John C. Hamilton). It did seem a bit strange though, to both me and @queerrevolution1776 , for Hull or Hamilton to have met with an official flag of truce, when they were both only Captains, and not on Washington’s staff (he’d only just become aware of Hamilton’s existence, after all).

Washington makes no mention of either of them in his correspondence, instead writing to Jonathan Trumbull Sr. that it was Colonel Joseph Reed whom Howe’s aide, John Montresor, met with. It makes sense that Reed would have met with Montresor, given his position on Washington’s staff. Reed is mentioned in Rose’s book, but not Hull’s account, and I thought that was a discrepancy worth a look. Hull, writing after the fact, mentions only Hamilton, who by then was a well-known, and scandalous, public figure. Reed, on the other hand, was nowhere near as popular, and perhaps did not serve as such an interesting figure in a story about Hull’s friend, one of America’s earliest spies.

Sure, Hamilton could have been nearby, or overheard the discussion, and in turn told Hull what he had heard—which could explain why Hale’s last moments have been exaggerated, or perhaps accidentally falsified, given that a British officer who was present apparently heard: “It the duty of every good officer, to obey any orders given him by his commander in chief” and not what is so often recounted. Even a newspaper (The Essex Journal) publishing an account five months later, quoted Hale as having said: “If I had ten thousand lives I would lay them all down, if called to it, in defence of my injured, bleeding country”—No one seems quite able to agree exactly what he said! Hull may well have also told his children he was there to make the story seem more personal, and exciting.

(And I’m really starting to doubt that Hamilton was at the meeting at all. It’s never mentioned in any of his writing, or in the John C Hamilton biography)

There’s no “official” reports of Hale’s death either (excepting the noting of his death on the 22nd September casualty list) which is why so much has relied heavily on what Hull claimed to have been told. When Washington wrote Trumbull about the flag of truce meeting the next day, he was mostly concerned with the fire that had engulfed New York the day before, and the claims that Continental soldiers and spies had set it. The only possible reference we have from him that concerned the meeting between Reed and Montresor, with perhaps an oblique reference to Hale, is as follows:

“On Friday night about eleven or twelve o’Clock a fire broke out in the City of New York, which burning rapidly till after Sunrise next morning, destroyed a great number of Houses—By what means it happened we do not know; but the Gentleman who brought the letter out last night from General Howe, and who was one of his Aid De Camps informed Colo. Reed that several of our Countrymen had been punished with various deaths on account of it. Some by hanging, others by burning & c. alledging that they were apprehended when committing the fact.”

Howe himself never mentioned Hale explicitly in official correspondence between him and Washington, and Washington never did either. In fact, neither of them mentioned the spies or the fire to one another at all, concerned with prisoner exchanges, and the accusation of ill-treatment of British prisoners (Howe to Washington 21st September 1776 and Washington to Howe 23rd September 1776). Hale, and his fate, was unfortunately left to Montresor’s verbal account, and Hull’s dubious reporting.

Tench Tilghman on Hale’s Death

In terms of other primary correspondence that might reference Hale’s death, even remotely, we have accounts from Washington’s aide-de-camp, Tench Tilghman.

Firstly, Tilghman wrote his father, James Tilghman, on the 25th September 1776, of the events and executions surrounding the fire. He was sent to deliver Washington’s reply to Howe’s camp under another flag of truce the day after Montresor’s, and spoke with some men in Howe’s camp then:

“Reports concerning the setting fire to New York: If it was done designedly, it was without the knowledge or Approbation of any commanding officer in this Army…every man belonging to the Army who remained in or were found near the City were made close prisoners. Many Acts of barbarous cruelty were committed upon poor creatures who were perhaps flying from the flames, the Soldiers and Sailors looked upon all who were not in the military line as guilty, and burnt and cut to pieces many. But this I am sure was not by Order. Some were executed next day upon good Grounds… I went down to the Enemy's lines yesterday with a Flag to settle the Exchange of prisoners…I met a very civil Gentleman with whom I had an Hours conversation…”

In Rose’s book, he mentions Hull & Colonel Samuel B. Webb going with Tilghman to the camp to further question Montresor about Hale. Webb, another aide-de-camp to Washington, may well have gone. But it seems a bit strange for Hull to have done so. And Hull’s account did not mention Webb, or Tilghman, which is also a bit odd. Rose made no note of his source for this, but I’d like to find it! Perhaps it’s mentioned in Webb’s journals, something I’d have to travel to Yale to see :(

Tilghman did, eventually, mention Hale explicitly, though not by name, when he wrote to Egbert Benson on 3rd October 1776:

“I am sorry that your Convention do not think themselves legally authorized to make examples of those villains they have apprehended…The General is determined if he can bring some of them in his hand’s under the denomination of spies, to execute them. General Howe hanged a Captain of ours belonging to Knowlton' s Rangers, who went into New-York to make discoveries. I don’t see why we should not make retaliation.”

So he definitely knew of Hale’s death by then, and it seemed to anger him greatly.

Miscellaneous Reports of Hale’s Death

There were also reports made by various others, that mention explicitly, or might imply, Hale’s death:

“Friday last we discovered a vast cloud of smoke arising from the north part of the city, which continued '‘ill Saturday evening…those that were found on or near the spot were pitched into the conflagration, some hanged by their heals, others by their necks with their throats cut. Inhuman barbarity! One Hale in New York, on suspicion of being a spy, was taken up and dragged without ceremony to the execution post and hung up.” (A Letter from September 28th 1776)

“We hanged up a rebel spy the other day, and some soldiers got, out of a rebel Gentleman’s garden, a painted soldier on a board, and hung it along with the Rebel; and wrote upon it, General Washington, and I saw it yesterday beyond headquarters by the roadside.” (Kentish Gazette, November 1776)

“A spy from the enemy (by his own full confession) apprehended last night, was this day executed at 11 o���clock in front of Artillery Park.” (General Howe’s diary)

“The Enemy charged some stragglers of our people that happened to be in New York with having set the City on Fire designedly and took that occasion as we were told to exercise some inhuman Crueltys on those poor Wretches that were in their power.” (Committee of Secret Correspondence to Silas Deane 1st October 1776)

What does all this mean?

Hamilton probably wasn’t there (but I can’t make a call on that for sure!)

basically, it’s clear that the primary sources on Hale’s death are few, and somewhat contradictory in places. I found it super interesting, and thought y’all might too! Please keep in mind I’m not calling William Hull a liar (and I definitely haven’t done anywhere near enough research to say anything conclusively!)

But I definitely think it’s always worth examining what we think we know from primary sources. And it’s very fun!

[sixstepsaway]

"After all, a lot of people elevate Ed high above Izzy and then argue that he brought his maiming upon himself." This is a REALLY good point, and I was considering something along that line. Ed takes Izzy's loyalty for granted. He is basically poised to give up a life of piracy in ep10, but feels no need to discuss this with Izzy, his literal first mate. It kinda comes off like, if he did decide to give up piracy, he'd assume Izzy would still be by his side. Like Izzy is just a close friend or PA following him around instead of a professional pirate who chose to follow Ed because he was an incredible pirate captain. Because the focus is mostly on Edward, it seems like people unconsciously slip into that same mindset. Izzy is just a bad friend trying to control Ed for no reason instead of a subordinate dependent on Ed's choices as captain for his livelihood and safety. Because Ed has forgotten his responsibilities and obligations as captain, some fans have forgotten they exist as well. They have the expectation of Izzy's support and loyalty, though, and Izzy is criticized when he isn't always understanding of his pirate captain boss's feelings. I mean, aside from the fact that nothing Izzy did justified mutilation and forced autocannibalism.

This is all incredibly true, nonnie. It ties into this meta I was pointed towards which discusses how Ed takes Izzy utterly for granted, and he really does. Ed assumes Izzy is his shadow and where he goes, Izzy will just follow, because surely Izzy and he will be of the same mind.

It makes me think that in the past, they were of the same mind. I buy strongly into the idea they built the myth of Blackbeard up together, that it was a team effort to take Blackbeard from Great Pirate to The Greatest Pirate Who Ever Lived (to quote Chauncey Badminton), and that they were a flawless team. In fact, the way they move together at the end of 1x10 reinforces this for me; they fall into step with one another very, very easily.

It also ties into the fact Ed just doesn't fuckin talk to Izzy! He just doesn't! Izzy in 1x10 is all, "I don't serve Ed, I serve Blackbeard, stop being terrible and go back to pirating!" with no idea that Ed is basically hoping to pack it in. He doesn't know Ed has made that decision, just that he was considering retirement (which is now off the table), and, in fact, Ed agreed that retirement isn't an option for pirates like them.

And, we yet again go back to that line from Oluwande I keep referencing: He and Jim and the other pirates are pirates not because they just felt like it and the life seemed Cool™, but because they have no other choice. And, much like this historical framing meta says, Izzy almost certainly has no other choice either, so when Edward is just, "Meh! No more piracy!" Izzy's entire life is flashing before his eyes and he's wondering what the fuck he's going to do if Edward takes everything out from under him - a crew, a ship, a captain, a trusted position. He'd have to rebuild it all from scratch, and that is very unlikely to be easy.

(Especially if he's sporting the mark of a traitor.)

And finally:

I mean, aside from the fact that nothing Izzy did justified mutilation and forced autocannibalism.

I have seen some people argue with their whole chest that Ed's reaction to Izzy picking on him for pining after his boyfriend was not, in fact, overblown or an overreaction, and that he was justified in what he did, and I do not like this one bit.

Furthermore, I...actually can't think of anything that I think would justify the mutilation and forced autocannibalism? If Izzy had maimed and tortured Stede, the mutilation and autocannibalism would be a matter of, "Let's not go as low as Izzy did," and would not be justified because it'd be what villains did, not what our protagonists did. Izzy's canon betrayal that nearly got Stede shot wasn't met with this kind of force. Izzy stabbing Stede was not met with this kind of force. Neither of those things deserved it, either.

Him being a bitch about Edward being a mopey shit that needed to pull his act together was not and will never be justification for what Edward did to him.

Because the focus is mostly on Edward, it seems like people unconsciously slip into that same mindset.

I think also we're sort of led by the hand to love Edward and see him in a positive, romantic light. Firstly, he's tall and attractive, which we all know has an unconscious bias (people think pretty people are more trustworthy etc). Secondly he's our second romantic lead, so we're meant to like and root for him! Thirdly, we're given consistent insight into his thoughts and feelings and his past.

Ed (and Izzy) come in from the outside in 1x03, but we're immediately given a window into Ed's cabin where they're discussing Stede, and a window into Ed's thoughts and plans when we're allowed to see him plotting with Izzy to kill Stede in 1x04. In 1x05 we're shown his vulnerabilities and we're given a flashback to his mom and how she was with him and what she taught him. We're shown that he just wants to fit in and be loved, but that society shuns him for it. And in 1x06 we're given an anxiety attack and a full blown flashback to his father's abuse and his first murder. We're shown all of these things to build empathy and sympathy for his character, so even when he does commit atrocities, or discuss his past atrocities, we feel for him and want to believe that he did those things because he had reasons (his father was abusing his mother, so he killed him!) or that he's choosing to stray from that path now and do better, which is admirable.

Izzy, meanwhile, we can only glean backstory and reasoning for by digging into his actions, words, accent, mannerisms, movements, choices etc. We're not given flashbacks, we're not given bonus information to chew on. We don't know if he had a mother who raised him, if his father was a great guy or beat him, we don't know who his first captain was, we haven't met his old friend he served with, we don't see the look of sadness on his face after he makes plans he doesn't want to follow through on. We're given windows, sure, but most of those windows end up framed from other people's points of view rather than Izzy's own (his behavior with Lucius we see mostly from Lucius's angle; for example when Izzy leaves the room we don't follow him, we stay with Lucius. That episode sub-plot was Lucius's sub-plot, not Izzy's) and we're not even given tidbits like Lucius's babblings about his mum thinking he was straight and the implication he had a girlfriend or wife once (not all beards are worn on your face, or whatever the line is) to cover his sexuality.

So people, as you say, unconsciously slip into the mindset that there is no depth, no reason. He's just a dick and thusly deserves horrible things happening to him, because Edward is the person we side with and are supposed to empathize with.

Which, I want to clarify, I do. I love Edward. I love him so much. He's just also an objectively terrible person who has a buttload of growth he needs to do before he should be trusted alone with people and weapons at the same time holy shit

I just typed "edward teach met" then "edward teach meat" then "edward teach mts" so I am going to bed now. Thanks for the message, hope the thoughts were up to the standard you've come to expect. Goodnight!

[mandoalorian]

Aren't you Resourceful? [Maxwell Lord x Reader] SMUT

Rating: 18+ only.

Warnings: SMUT, degradation, dom/sub dynamic, oral (both m receiving and f receiving), choking, praising, name calling, fingering, it's soft at the end i promise… because no matter what, i’m a sucker for soft! Maxwell.

Author's note: If you see me shamelessly use his quotes from trailers and promos and put them in a sexual context… no you do not. ❤️ (because, spoiler alert, I did that more than once in this fic.)

Word count: 3k

Permanent taglist - let me know if you want to be added: @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @dybalalover10 @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth

Masterlist

"Well, aren't you resourceful?" he mocked bitterly, his tone dripping with annoyance and sarcasm. You shuddered at the sudden roughness in his voice, the edge of it making you fearful and timid.

"Mr Lord, I- I'm sorry. I guess I just got confused." you found yourself babbling, nervously crossing your arms over your chest as he glared into your eyes. They were normally a shade of honeyed brown but now, they were much, much darker. Everything about him in the moment seemed darker. His eyelids were heavy, a scowl painted across his face and his fists clenched so tight his knuckles had turned white.

"Confused? How could you get confused?" he gritted out, causing a small yelp to escape your lips.

"I- I guess I must've sent out the wrong reports." You bit your lip, looking at your boss apologetically.

"What other fucking reports could you have sent out?" He spat. "What the hell did you send them?"

He was mad. He was very, very angry. You were new, but you had certainly heard horror stories about your boss. You weren't even his assistant, just his receptionist, stationed at a desk outside of his office. You dealt with his visitors and passed along any phone calls for him… but he was the one who had tasked you with a job suited for an assistant. You weren't used to it, it was probable you'd make a mistake. Technically, it wasn't your fault.

And Maxwell knew this. In fact, he half expected you to fuck it up— and now that you had, his plan was in order. Everything was working out. The mild inconvenience over the wrong reports being sent out really wasn't that big of a deal, but he loved seeing how small your frame got when he shouted at you. He admired your comically wide eyes and hunched up shoulders as he talked down to you, and he wasn't going to stop there.

The truth is, Maxwell had his eye on you since you got the job. You were young, fresh faced and bright eyed— unqualified with no experience. It turned a few heads in the office as Maxwell always made sure his employees were the best of the best. You, however, didn't have a superiority complex unlike your peers. You were devastatingly different and Maxwell craved you, perhaps just as much as you craved him.

You thought about him every second of your working day. There was just a wall between you both, and you constantly daydreamed about what it would be like just walk in and sit on his lap. You imagined grinding on him, moaning his name and letting him massage your breasts as you gave him the best ride of his life. Your fantasies were sick, but they didn't stop there.

You'd go home every night to your small, shanky apartment downtown and tune into one of his longer infomercials. He had one broadcast at six o’ clock every evening. You'd discard your panties and sit on the sofa with your legs open, watching him with intent as you touched yourself and imagined your own fingers were his.

"Mr Lord- uhm, sir, please," you fumbled, dragging your feet towards the double doors that led out of his office. "Let me check my desk." his hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving his office. Your heart began to race as his fingers curled around you and moved you away from the door.

"Stand over there," he ordered, gesturing aimlessly towards the large bay windows that overlooked the city. He turned back around and locked the door, the clicking noise sending a shiver down your spine. "You… you keep making these mistakes." he began to approach you, stalking towards you with a primal glint in his eye.

"I-, I'm sorry?" you swallowed as he neared you. Maxwell placed two firm hands on your shoulders and pushed you backwards into the window, the coolness of the glass stinging your exposed skin.

"Why?" he beckoned, his fingers curling and pushing your chin up so you were looking at him. You were speechless, your lips parted slightly as you looked up into his eyes. His own gaze travelled across your face and then down your neck, admiring how long and pretty it was… especially as he pointed your chin upwards. He tutted in disapproval when you didn't give him a response. "You're expensive, you know," he muttered. "But there's a reason I keep you around."

You gulped as his hands travelled down to your chest, his fingers beginning to tug at your collar and undo the buttons of your blouse. "Why?" you asked, your gaze not diverting from his once and a sudden rush of confidence jolting through your system.

"Why?" Maxwell repeated, his voice low and sinister. "High heels.. tight pencil skirt… Your blouse makes your tits look fantastic. I know you dress like this to get my attention. I know that's why you visit my office every single day, and you tend to linger in my doorway so I can get a nice look at your ass."

You let out an embarrassing squeak at his words. He really had caught you out. You had done all these things for him, desperate to try and win his attention.

"Let me lift up your skirt. I know how hard you try to tease me, how you wear your skirts shorter and shorter everyday," Maxwell continued, peeling up your pencil skirt so it was rolled up around your tummy. "Wow, such naughty panties for such a shy girl." Maxwell chuckled in surprise, his fingers gracing the lace of your blood red panties. You hummed as they rolled over your lips. "You're already soaking wet." he gasped. "Why don't you take your clothes off and lay down on my desk like a good girl?" Maxwell asked.

You obeyed without hesitation, stripping down until you were completely naked. Maxwell gawked at you, feeling his cock harden in his constricted pants as you padded over to his desk. You made yourself as comfortable as you could, despite the coolness of the expensive oak sending a shiver down your spine. "Now, open your legs and let me see your pussy." You exhaled, nervously spreading your legs open for your boss to examine. "Oh," he mumbled, leaning over to gain a closer inspection. "So pretty."

You felt his breath fan over your cunt, the arousal heading straight to your core. You fluttered your eyes closed as he continued to whisper jumbled up dirty talk about how ravishing you looked. Then, to your surprise, you felt the curve of his nose nudge against your clit as he licked a stripe between your folds. You gasped at the sensation, your toes curling and your fingers clenching into a fist due to the suddenity of it. "You like that don't you?" Maxwell chuckled, continuing to give you little cat licks. "Mm, sweet girl." he praised, latching his lips on your sensitive bud and beginning to suck. His groans of pleasure vibrated through your body and it wasn't long before your orgasm washed over you. He pulled away, his lips puckered and dark pink, as well as his eyes practically black from arousal. "Can I touch you?" he asked softly, and you nodded your head desperately.

Max began to circle your clit, humming in contentment as you squirmed underneath him. "Shh, sit still darling," he muttered lowly, pressing his body on top of yours and grazing his teeth over your jaw. "What do you want, sweetheart? Tell me."

"You." you breathed out, shuddering as his movements on your clit began to get faster. Fuck, he was good. "I want you." you re-affirmed, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific," he chuckled darkly. "I know you're shy, princess, but this is just between me and you. Tell me what you fucking want." He growled, the change between his gentle sweet voice and the angry snarl taking you by surprise.

"I-," you moaned as he worked your cunt. You knew if he kept rubbing he'd have you orgasm any second. "I need you inside of me." you gasped, proud you had finally gotten the words out.

"Oh," Maxwell laughed a villainous laugh. "Why didn't you just say so?" Taking his finger from your clit, he inserted it into your dripping hole. It sunk straight in with ease, an obscene wet noise echoing throughout his expansive office. "Like this?"

You couldn't even respond, instead just rolling your hips further down and taking the full length of his finger until you felt his knuckles against your cunt. He chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "So needy. So tight too…." he groaned, thrusting his finger in and out of you. He curled it so perfectly that with every movement, his digit hit that sweet spot inside of you. "You want more?" he teased and you nodded, your eyes squeezing shut as the pleasure washed over you. "Hey, look at me slut. You want more?" he asked again. Your eyes snapped open and you nodded your head impatiently. He pushed a second finger inside of you and you screamed as your hips bucked up. His actions were ruthless and primal as he fingered you hard and fast. Tears pricked your eyes as he kept up his perfect rhythm.

"More." you begged.

"But you're just so tight," he sighed. "You'll never be able to take my cock." he laughed, bringing his own hand down to palm his already throbbing length through his tailored pants. "Please." you muttered as his thrusts became sloppy.

"Ah ah ah, only good girls deserve my cock," Maxwell tsked, a wicked smirk playing on his lips. "Girls who don't send off the wrong reports, you understand?"

You whined and felt your walls contract against his hand. Evidently, he felt it too. He brought his free hand back to your clit and began to circle it erratically. "Oh, so you're close? Look at you getting off from my hands alone. You want to cum?" you nodded quickly, pieces of your hair falling into your face. "You'll have to earn it." he growled. "Tell me, how often have you thought about this, huh? How often have you imagined I fuck you like this?"

"Ah- all the time." you admitted, feeling your cheeks heat up at the revelation, although you had no shame. How could you possibly have shame when you were spread out, completely naked, on your boss’ desk? "T-this morning." you continued, gaining comical wide eyes from Maxwell. He wasn't expecting that.

"Tell me more," he urged, sliding a third finger into your weeping cunt. You groaned and felt your legs begin to shake. "Listen to me sweetheart, if you want to cum I need you to tell me what you were thinking about this morning."

You whimpered. "Max, please."

"What did you call me?" he growled, taking his hand from your clit and wrapping it around your neck. You felt your wetness slick against the skin of your neck as he applied just enough pressure around your throat to make your vision haze.

"Sorr-sorry sir," you gasped and his grip on you loosened. The movements of his fingers were still manic and he hadn't let up once. You were desperate to cum. "This morning when- when I delivered your coffee. You had that meeting and you were standing at the front writing something on the bo-board," you groaned as Maxwell reattached his free hand back to your clit. "And I stood by the- the doorframe for a few seconds and just watched you. Wa-watched the way the muscles in your back flexed as you reached up and the way your bicep stretched around your shirt as you- wrote- wrote-" You couldn't finish. You couldn't. Your orgasm spread like wildfire and Maxwell could sense it too.

"Cum for me baby." Max granted. And with those four words, you became a heaving mess, coming completely undone beneath your boss and soaking his fingers. He doubled out of you without warning and you whined at the loss of his fullness. "Your pussy was even better than I imagined." he revealed, unclipping his suspenders and unzipping his pants, letting them fall down to his ankles. He pulled them down along with his underwear, allowing his hard cock to spring out freely. You licked your lips with desire as you examined him— long and thick, his tip beading with precum and it had slowly begun to drip down his length.

"Now I take what I want in return," Maxwell said. "On your knees."

You followed his instruction with a wobble as you clambered off the table and knelt down. You were the perfect height, your face sitting directly in front of his cock. You were still coming down from your high, your eyes feeling heavy. You hummed as he pushed his cock in between your lips, eventually parting them and sliding himself down your throat. Your post coital fog immediately cleared as his tip hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag and choke around his length. You steadied yourself, breathing through your nose and clamping your mouth around his cock as you began to slide your head forwards and backwards, taking him the best you can.

The taste of his precum sat well on your tongue, you savoured him completely, knowing that his salty taste would resonate deep in your mind long after this was over. "Fuck," he cursed, his head tipping back and his dark blonde locks of hair falling out of place. He was coming undone, and it was all because of you. His chest began to rise and fall as you took him as deep as you could.

Your hands lifted to cup his balls and you began to massage them playfully. He made the mistake of looking down at you. He was completely enthralled by the way your pretty lips looked wrapped around his cock and your glazed doe eyes framed by your perfect eyelashes. You hollowed your cheeks and smiled around him, wetness dripping from the corners of your mouth. He reached down and gently wiped it away with his thumb, cupping your face and admiring your beauty.

"How did I ever get so lucky?" he murmured, closing his eyes. He began to subconsciously fuck your mouth, his thrusts slow but passionate. He was deliberately being careful, not wanting to hurt you or overwhelm you when you had already been so good for him.

You sat and took it like a good girl, your posture straight and your hands still playing with his balls. It wasn't long before you began to feel his cock twitch in your mouth and he pulled out of you.

"Want you to swallow my load." Maxwell said, but for the first time, his voice sounded weak. He hunched over his still clothed shoulders and began to jerk himself off. You nodded your head eagerly and opened your mouth as wide as you could, sticking out your tongue to show him that you're ready. Within seconds, he was cumming down your throat, his seed roping against your lips and gracing your tongue and even hitting your cheeks and dripping down your chin. When he finished, he shuffled back, admiring your face like it was artwork. You closed your mouths, humming in delight as you swallowed his cum. When you were done you opened your mouth again to prove that it was all gone; that you had done as he wished for.

Maxwell sighed, pulling his pants back up and walking over to his desk drawer. Fumbling with the handle, he eventually got it open and pulled out a silk handkerchief. He walked back over to you and took your hand, pulling you up and sitting you on the edge of his desk. Taking the handkerchief, he carefully cleaned up his remaining mess that was on your skin.

The next few moments were spent in comfortable silence. Your boss tended to you first, before he even bothered cleaning himself up, which certainly took you by surprise. He smoothed out your hair and helped you back into your clothes, taking his sweet time to button up your blouse again and straighten your collar. He even kneeled down and slid your heels onto your feet, fastening the straps and making sure they were comfortable.

"Sir?" you asked nervously, biting your lip. Maxwell looked at you in silence but his gaze urged you to go on. "Uhm, thank you."

He nodded dismissively and you hopped for the desk, limping to the door. As your hand pushed on the handle, he called your name. You took a deep breath, turning around.

"Would you like to go on a date with me, sometime, maybe?" Maxwell asked with a small but nervous smile.

You couldn't believe it, this was the last thing you expected. You shot him a smile back and nodded your head. "Yeah, okay." you agreed before spinning back around and leaving his office.

[whump-a-la-mode]

Gilded Cage - Choose Your Own Whump

Here it is! My first attempt at a choose your own adventure type of whump story. In this story, Villain is kept by the Heroes as a prop for the media-- but what will they do when a rare chance at contacting the outside world presents itself?

CW//Imprisonment, collars, shock collars, villain whumpee, implied torture, panic attacks

There was something about a gilded cage that made it worse than any other type of imprisonment.

Sure, it was comfortable. You were well provided for, fed and watered incredibly generously. But that, in and of itself, was one of the worst parts.

Being imprisoned, locked away in a cell somewhere with a big heavy padlock over the door, it meant that someone thought you were dangerous enough to require that kind of security. In the most minuscule way, it was a display of respect.

But a gilded cage of comfort and warmth? It meant that your captor believed you to be domesticated. Docile. Too soft and serenely mannered to even bother chaining up.

Of course, that didn’t make the lock on the door any less real. It just made it that much more humiliating.

Villain groaned as the sound of knocking echoed through the room. They pulled their plush duvet closer to themself, sinking deeper into their unbelievably soft mattress.

“Lunch is ready. Get up. And make yourself look presentable, we have visitors.”

They were too tired to tell which of the Heroes was speaking, but it didn’t matter all too much. Their voices all blended together, after a time. All characterized by overwhelming politeness and platitudes, with a subtle undertone of annoyance.

If anything, the way they spoke was worse than if they had just yelled. They hated Villain, that was clear and that was expected. If only they would just say it out loud, instead of letting their tone speak for them.

Again, Villain grumbled, sitting up in bed and blinking blearily a moment. The bright red digital clock on the wall mechanically informed them that it was almost noon.

They just wanted to go back to sleep.

Of course, that wasn’t an option. They’d tried that. Tried hiding under the blankets and pretending the outside world didn’t exist. But it did, even as they hated it.

They pushed the blankets aside and got up, knowing full well that they would return to a bed made with military precision. Wandering over to their wardrobe, they couldn’t help but wish that they’d been informed earlier that they were expecting visitors. But, of course, when did anyone ever tell them anything.

Eventually, they selected a nice suit top in a dark maroon hue, along with matching pants. A presentable outfit, and hopefully fancy enough for whatever guests were being expected. It was almost certainly a news crew, or a government agent-- they came at least three times a week.

Clothes folded over their arm, they shook their head to clear their vision of sleep and made their way to the bathroom.

As always, the mirror was immaculate, stretching the whole length of one wall and going all the way up to the ceiling. Looking at it made them want to smash it to pieces, but they quelled their own anger quickly. It served no purpose.

They didn’t have to look at it. They could have just as easily closed their eyes, changed their clothes and ran out of the room. But they couldn’t. Though they had no clue as to why, some horrible force compelled them to raise their head, and stare directly into the eyes of their reflection.

Villain wanted to cry. Had this been a few months ago, they would have. But they’d long since mastered the art of choking back tears.

The person in the mirror-- they didn’t recognize them.

Sure, they had the same facial structure as Villain, the same eyes, and the same, well, everything. That was except for the layers of makeup covering them, clearing any imperfection and turning it into a glowing highlight. Not to mention their hair-- every two weeks or so, they’d have it professionally styled. What had once been a head of long, curled locks had been cut short and ironed straight. Apparently, that was the style that was currently “in.” Not that they’d had any choice in the matter.

To look presentable.

They washed the makeup from their face as best they could, knowing that whatever artist the visitors had brought with would do it again, in whatever way they liked it. Putting down the washcloth, they moved to unbutton the front of their nightgown...

But their hand drifted instead to their neck.

It was an instinctive motion, almost. A ritual. They unfolded the collar of their nightgown, pulling down the neckline, until the device was fully visible.

That was what the Heroes always called it. A “control device.” As if it was some kind of scientific advancement, some amazing invention.

It was nothing like that.

The device was a simple loop of metal, going around their neck, tight enough nearly to choke them. To remind them that it was always there. On the outside, the metal was smooth, marred not even by any kind of mechanism that would allow it to be removed. On the inside, however, they could feel the tiny studs, pressing against their flesh.

They didn’t think of it as their collar. They tried not to think of it as their collar. They tried not to think about it at all, in fact. But, every second, every breath they took, they could feel it. Even if it weighed less than a pound in actuality, to them, it felt to be made of the heaviest lead.

Weighing them down, ready to strike at any moment. Each and every one of the Heroes had one of the collar’s remotes. A simple press of a button, a simple click, and Villain would be writhing on the floor in agony. Every time one of the Heroes gave them a side-eyed look, they felt their stomach flip, waiting for the shock. For the horrible, horrible pain.

They tried to fit their finger between the device and their neck, though there was little avail. Still, even if it was only slight, they could feel on the tip of their finger their own charred skin.

Anxiety rose in their throat, twisting their stomach in knots. They shook their head. No. They had to get ready, and they were running out of time. The visitors were probably already waiting. In a practiced motion, they undid their nightgown and dressed in their far fancier outfit.

Even as they reached for the door handle, though, they could see their hand shaking.

It was just lunch. They’d been doing it every day for months. They could do it. They could do lunch.

It was just lunch.

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The dining table was a beast of wood and metal accents, stretching for the whole room, leaving only room for the dozen and a half chairs surrounding it.

Generally, the majority of these chairs would be empty. There were only so many Heroes, and generally their various sidekicks and assistants did not eat with them. Today, however, every last seat was filled.

They wore no identification, but Villain already knew who they were. A news crew. Journalists and cameramen and reporters. They hadn’t seen this particular crew before, but that didn’t mean much of anything. So many came through Headquarters that they all seemed to blend together.

As Villain emerged through the large, mahogany doors, every last one of the newspeople turned their heads. A few even appeared frightened. One among them gasped.

It was how they always reacted, the first time. They opened their mouth without speaking-- they had practiced their script so many times that it came to them as easily as breathing.

“Good afternoon, everyone. It’s nice to meet you.”

At the head of the table, Hero nodded in approval. Villain lowered their gaze and retreated to their seat, among the Heroes.

Even after so much time, it was hard to think of them as anything but hands, ready at any moment to press down on their remotes without so much as thinking.

That was the only good thing about having visitors. None of the Heroes would dare to use the collar when company was around. Each and every shirt that Villain owned was specifically chosen to hide the device-- no one else knew. A shared secret of dominance.

“Well, we’re so glad to have you here.” Hero smiled, looking out over the table. “Our food should be out in a moment. What all are you looking to be filming, today? Or photographing? I’m no expert on this type of thing, I must admit.”

It was a blatant lie. Hero knew everything there was to know about PR. They could wield the media better than they could wield their own powers.

“Well.” The person who seemed to be in charge of the news crew spoke up. “Did you receive the clothing shipment a few days ago?”

“We did, yes. I almost forgot, silly old Hero. Forgetful as ever.”

“No worries. We wanted to get some photos of you wearing them-- they were custom made, by an Italian designer. Supposedly the start of some kind of new line. They call it “Be Your Own Hero.” It’s a little cheesy, but that’s fashion for you.”

“I’m sure it is. Is that all, then?”

“Mostly, yes. Though...” They bit their lip. “In light of recent events, we were wondering if, perhaps to supplement another story, we would be able to interview Villain? If you’re okay with it, of course, Villain.”

“Of course.” Villain smiled. “That would be wonderful.”

Hero nodded their agreement, though their eyes betrayed their tentativeness.

“Just Villain? I don’t believe the rest of us are too busy today, we would have plenty of time to speak to you, as well.”

“I don’t want to be impolite, but I’m sure you understand that this matter concerns them specifically. Maybe we could incorporate some quotes from you?”

“Don’t worry, I understand completely. That should work out just fine.”

Villain couldn’t stop themself from nervously twirling the cuff of their shirt. Whatever this ‘event’ was, they had no clue, and they most certainly didn’t want to give an interview about it. They’d been trained to do interviews, but never alone, and most of the time they just gave a few cursory answers while the Heroes took the spotlight.

Still, they couldn’t refuse. If Hero said they were doing the interview, then they were doing it.

They were a prop. They knew that. At the very least, they could be a good one.

A tinny bell chimed as the door to the kitchen opened, and an array of staff brought out a series of plates. Villain feared that they wouldn’t have much of an appetite.

Their collar was choking them. They could hardly breathe.

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It was amazing just how quickly the news crew had turned the front hall into a full-blown studio. Lights and backdrops and all kinds of equipment that Villain didn’t recognize were set up in dazzlingly bright arrays, making any movement a tripping hazard on account of just how many cables snaked about the wood floor.

The makeup station had been set up against one wall, with five chairs and countless boxes of powders and creams. Villain gripped the arms of their chair, doing their very best not to flinch or sneeze as a stranger dabbed blush onto their cheeks. Even after so much time, it was one thing they could never quite get used to. A stranger touching their face, moving their head about. They hated it.

But they did not protest. They sat as best as they could, muttering desperate apologies any time they lost control and jerked their head away from the invading touch.

Next to them, they could hear as the Heroes, one by one, were finished as got up from their seats. Chatting with different news people, laughing at their stupid jokes. Metal wheels whirred as clothes racks were pushed about.

“There you go.” The makeup artist smiled, speaking in a disgustingly chipper tone. Villain fluttered their eyelids open, at least glad that it was over.

Still talking with the different photographers and the like, the Heroes began drifting away, towards where all the lights and cameras were set up. Villain could already feel themself growing anxious. Sure, they hated the Heroes as much as anything, but at least when they were nearby, they could ensure that Villain was acting right. Feed them their lines. Keep up the facade.

Unsure of just where to go, they waited in the makeup chair. They fought to keep their gaze away from the door, the massive swinging wooden panels that led right out onto the street. To freedom.

Their kept their eyes fixed firmly on their shoes.

They weren’t sure exactly how long they stayed like that. Staring. Listening. The cameras on the other side of the room had already begun to flash.

At some point, after at least 15 minutes of sitting and waiting, obedient and docile, someone came up to them. A simply-dressed reporter, sweater vest and all.

At the very least, they didn’t have that stupid smile on their face. The media smile. The smile of glowing PR.

“Hello.” They were nervous, it was clear. More than just a little nervous, for that matter. “Um- You’re Villain, right?”

They looked up.

“Yep, that’s me!”

It made them feel sick.

“O-Oh. Okay. Um, my name is Journalist. It’s nice to meet you...?”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Journalist!”

“Are you ready for the interview?”

“Sure am.”

“Okay. Uh- Oh, wait.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Your shirt is inside out, I think.”

Villain felt their heart jump to their throat. It was an honest, simple mistake. They hadn’t even noticed. Yet, if the Heroes were here, it was certain that there would be retribution. Would they find out? Were they listening, right now? Ready to shove Villain into some back room to push their stupid buttons? Footsteps- oh god, was that them? Oh god oh god oh god-

“Hey, uh, can you hear me?”

“Sorry. I think I spaced out a little, there.”

“It’s fine. It’s no big deal. There’s a bathroom over there, so we can just fix your shirt quick and get onto the interview.”

“Sounds good.” They shook their head, shaking themself back to wakefulness. Once they were sure that they could, they stood to their feet. “I’ll only be a moment.”

“Um... They told us not to leave you alone.”

“What?” It came out more like a whisper.

“Yeah. It’s okay, um, I won’t look or anything. It’s just a security thing, I think.”

“Oh. Okay.” Villain swallowed.

Their heartbeat firmly moved to their throat, now. They hoped the shaking in their legs could not be seen as they and Journalist moved to the small bathroom, right off the side of the hall.

Villain stood in the corner, with Journalist sitting on a chair that was sitting in the corner opposite.

It was just a simple fix. It was fine. Everything was fine, it was okay.

Hands trembling as though an earthquake raged below their feet, they reached for the hem of their shirt, pulling it up and the sleeves off their arms, slipping it off over their head and working to flip it.

It was only the feeling of being watched that led them to look up at the young journalist, sitting in the corner. Eyes fixed on them.

More specifically, on their neck.

“Um... What is that? Villain, are you okay?”

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What should our Whumpee do? It’s up to you to decide!

There are two options, each one leading to a separate story branch. Alongside each option is a question specifying what exactly will happen. Answering this question is completely optional, but it is great if you have any particular ideas! Otherwise, feel free to just put a letter.

To vote, feel free to use any means you would like to contact me. Replying or reblogging this post works just fine, as does PMing me directly or sending me an ask. I am unsure when I will be writing the next part, so as long as the next part hasn’t been posted yet, voting is still open!

I will choose the story path based on which option has more votes, and will choose whichever answer I find the most interesting to base the next part upon.

The choices and questions for this part are as follows:

A) Tell the truth - How much should Villain tell Journalist?

B) Lie - How should Villain explain away the collar?

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me. This is my first time doing anything like this, so I apologize if it’s odd or confusing ^^

[jyndor]

Rogue One Meta: Bookends

You know what I love about Rogue One? Well, a lot of things. The anti-fascist message, the characters, the found family trope, the soundtrack, how pretty the whole movie is... there is just too much to like about it. But one thing that really gets me going is how neatly the movie ties in its beginning with its ending.

Let’s do a recap.

So in the beginning, we skip the usual Star Wars crawl and get straight into the action: little Jyn runs to her parents, the family packs up what little they can grab, Lyra calls Saw to alert him to Krennic's approach, Galen asks Jyn to tell him that she understands that whatever he does it is all to protect her. She says she does (she doesn't, of course; she’s EIGHT) and they hug it out. Lyra takes Jyn off to go hide in their little bunker before she changes her mind, she gives Jyn the kyber necklace and then leaves Jyn to try to save Galen, etc etc. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

We all know that when Lyra tells Krennic that he will "never win" and is killed while shooting Krennic, Jyn sees it. We know that Jyn hides in the bunker for a long time, long after her lantern dies out, until Saw is able to rescue her.

We know this just as well as we know how the movie ends: Krennic finds Jyn on the top of the tower, she knows she is about to die so she tells him that she brings her parents' revenge, that he has lost and he snarls at her, monologues like a villain always has to do, aims his blaster and-

Cassian shoots him before he can pull the trigger. Jyn transmits the Death Star plans, Cassian stops her from wasting time on Krennic, they definitely don’t make out on the elevator, and then they go sit on the beach and cuddle while they wait for their deaths. It’s very cute and very sad.

We know that Jyn is Galen and Lyra's weapon, their revenge for the violence that Krennic did to them personally as well as for what the Empire has done to the galaxy. It's personal and political, as most things are. Rogue One makes this very clear - the personal is political (btw the radfem who coined that phrase can get fucked tyvm).

It’s actually always been how Star Wars works. We would care about Alderaan’s destruction, it’s a terrible thing, but we feel so much more connected to it because of Leia. The Empire oppresses every day people, but when we see Owen and Beru’s charred corpses (and Luke’s grief) we feel more about their deaths than if we didn’t just see them sitting down for a meal together with our protagonist. The Clone Wars is so effective because we care about the characters and see the war through their eyes. Politics is personal.

At the beginning, Galen is resigned to being taken by Krennic and working for the Empire against his will. It's why he sends Lyra and Jyn to safety, because he knows that they will be used as hostages to force him to complete the Death Star (and Lyra says as much). But Lyra obviously isn't willing to give her husband up without a fight (and she's also not willing to let the Empire get any closer to building a 9/11 times 100). It’s both political and personal.

Lyra’s heartbreaking act of resistance creates the narrative framework for who Jyn will become in the film but also for Cassian. In fact I would argue that Lyra's fridging sacrifice is just as important to the structure of Cassian's arc as it is to Jyn's. Don't buy it yet? Okay, look:

Lyra hits Krennic in the shoulder but it's just a graze, and she gets shot first so whether or not she's any good is irrelevant. Cassian is a soldier and a sniper. She also doesn't have the element of surprise on her side like Cassian does. She's a civilian, he's an officer who grew up in the rebellion.

But Cassian doesn't hit Krennic in the chest or the head, which he clearly could do. Perhaps it's because he doesn't have the time to fuss with his aim because he makes it up to the top of the tower just in time. Or maybe since he's really hurting, like Lyra, he doesn't have the focus that he'd need to kill the motherfucker.

Cassian hits Krennic in the shoulder just like Lyra (although I assume given how Krennic falls on his face it's not a graze).

Lyra walks so that Cassian can run.

None of them - not Jyn or Cassian, certainly not Galen or Lyra - gets to kill Krennic; none of them matters as much to Krennic as Krennic himself does. He's a textbook narcissist, so of course he is his own downfall in the end. It’s infinitely more satisfying to see him regain consciousness, look up at his creation and watch it aim at his head, and it would be to see Jyn or Cassian kill him. Cassian gets to tell Jyn what Lyra no doubt would have liked to tell Galen - "leave it" - and then walk away arm in arm without sparing Krennic another thought, and Jyn gets to finally outgrow this childhood phantom.

So much has been written about how Cassian Andor does not let Jyn Erso down. It's adorable, hilarious and also heartbreaking to see him in full Jyn Panic mode for most of the film. In the novel he's clearly attracted to her (he is a POV character so we get to read about Cassian's fixation on her need~ and how "neither pity nor pragmatism" explains why he's saves her on Jedha, and how when he looks at Galen, Cassian sees Jyn's eyes lmfao okay we get it she’s pretty). According to Chris Weitz and Gary Whitta (in the ign Rogue One commentary) they were originally more romantic but over time that dynamic got dialed back (and they said they're sure some of that got filmed so show me tHE ELEVATOR TAPES MOUSE).

But I don't think Lyra and Cassian mirroring each other has to mean Cassian loves Jyn in the same way that Lyra loves Galen. Love takes many different forms - even romantic love. What isn't up for debate is that Cassian is the only person in Jyn's whole life who does not leave her behind. No one who cares for her wants to leave her - not Galen, Lyra, or Saw; not the Pontas in the extended content, not even the rest of Rogue One - but Cassian seems to comes back from the dead for her.

Which is exactly what Krennic sarcastically says about Lyra when she comes running up to them.

In this case Galen doesn’t think Lyra is dead but he has no idea what she’s dealing with. He hopes she’s hiding away with Jyn, which is why he tells Krennic that she died, but he’s just giving them time to hide away. For Galen, Lyra might as well be dead because he doesn’t think he’s going to see her again. But when she comes “back from the dead” he feels horror because he knows it won’t end well, that she won’t just go quietly.

Jyn thinks that Cassian has left her just like everyone else. So when he comes back, it’s like a revelation for her. In the novel, Jyn thinks that Cassian looks "as beautiful as anyone" she has "ever known" and after she rushes over to transmit the plans, she smiles up at him "like a child." Hell, the minute she sees Krennic get shot, she thinks that “her nightmare is over.” Which makes me think about how eight year old Jyn never gets the chance to smile up at Lyra like that. In her eyes, Lyra doesn't really protect her from the man in white, and neither does Galen. Saw does but then he abandons her when he worries people will use her as a hostage against the Empire. Galen, Lyra and Saw do try to protect Jyn from the Empire, but the steps that her parents take (all three of them) are to hide her, or to leave her.

In Jyn's eyes, that isn't protection the way going on the offense is. That is also the thesis of her speech to the Council - appeasement and hiding away from evil does not stop evil from harming innocents, these are not ways in which people can resist occupation and oppression long term. It makes sense coming from a former insurgent; to her, nothing but direct action is going to make a difference. And she would know - after Saw leaves her, she does take part in some minor actions (according to the expanded lore) but mainly she’s in hiding, looking out for herself and coping with the trauma of being abandoned by all of her parents.

So the one person who not only gets her mission off the ground, but who also vanquishes this monster who has been haunting her since her childhood is Cassian. He ends what Lyra begins.

But Jyn doesn’t end what Galen started. She continues what he started, just like Bodhi (who basically functions as Galen’s adoptive son you will not convince me otherwise). I started this essay talking about beginnings and endings in the sense of a story’s structure, but Rogue One in the larger context of Star Wars is neither a beginner nor an ending - it is just one generation (that of the prequels) passing on the torch to the next generation (the original trilogy). In politics there are no beginnings or endings, there is just (hopefully) generational progress in struggles.

The whole movie can be summed up in one scene:

But just because it can be summed up that way doesn’t mean it should be. Of course, John Knoll got the idea for the movie based on the scroll in ANH so it makes sense that Rogue One’s characters ultimately are just a footnote for the rest of the galaxy. But for us, the audience, when Luke destroys the Death Star... well, now there is even more weight to that moment. Now we understand what got sacrificed to get those plans, who died and how and why. (That doesn’t mean we need to make a movie about these guys getting butchered by Darth Vader. You don’t need to explain everything.)

Like Leia and Alderaan, this family we meet makes it even more personal. Rogue One is just as much about family as it is about standing up to oppression. It's a Star War, those are like the main tenets of any Star War. Not to quote a meme and make it serious, but maybe the real Star War is the family we found along the way.

[macaronis-telegraph]

Let's talk about:

Firearms aboard the RMS Titanic.

Oh boy. Why am I doing this topic.

Long story short: NO. To all available knowledge, absolutely no one shot at anyone during the sinking. Although, yes, warning shots were fired. I'll get to that in a moment.

During the RMS Titanic's trial runs, William M. Murdoch was in the position of chief officer, with Charles H. Lightoller as first officer. Charge of the ship's firearms was a duty of the first officer, so thusforth, as the ship was preparing for her maiden voyage, Officer Lightoller was the one to decide what to do with them. He thought it rather silly that they needed firearms at all on the ship, so, essentially, he locked the officers' guns in a cabinet in his room and promptly forgot about their existence.

"It was the First Officer's responsibility to receive firearms, navigation instruments, and so forth. I have also said firearms on merchant ships are looked on as ornamental more than useful, and as First Officer I had simply hove the lot, revolvers and ammunition into a locker, in my original cabin, a locker that was of little use owing to its inaccessibility." ¹

Prior to her actual sailing, the White Star Line decided to implement some switch-arounds of the Titanic's command, moving Chief Officer Henry T. Wilde of the Olympic to the same position on the Titanic. Murdoch was forced to step back to first, and Lightoller to second. ²

During the rush to evacuate passanger and crew was when Chief Officer Wilde came about to Lightoller, wondering where the firearms were at. Murdoch, as he was then the First Officer, had charge of them, but knew not of their location, due to Lightoller stowing them before the switch around happened.

"Murdoch, who was now First Officer, knew nothing about the firearms, and couldn't find them, when they were wanted -- I say wanted, rather than needed, because I still don't believe that they were actually needed."

For a precious moment, no senior officers existed on deck as Lightoller led Wilde, Murdoch, and Captain Smith all together to retrieve the firearms that Wilde so insisted on using and distributing amongst the officers.

"The whole incident had not taken three minutes, though it seemed barely worth that precious time."

Lightoller used his revolver, but there is no account of him firing it. He recounts how he "vigorously flourished" the gun to encourage non-English speaking men to leave emergency boat, to make more space for women and children, but "the revolver was not even loaded!"

Fifth Officer H. G. Lowe did in fact use his revolver, in an act to prevent the already crowded and lowering lifeboat 14 from being rushed. In his response to the American Inquiry, his described how he fired at the side of the boat, although some witnesses state he fired either into the air, or down to the ocean. All accounts reflect how the shots were not meant to, nor did they, harm anyone.

"That is why I yelled out to "look out," and let go, bang! right along the ship's side. There was a space I should say of about three feet between the side of the boat and the ship's side, and as I went down I fired these shots without any intention of hurting anhbkdg and with the positive knowledge that I did not hurt anybody. I fired, I think, three times." ³

Those two events are the only two moments that I know of and have read about in which firearms were used during the sinking of the RMS Titanic. I know some of you out there might have been waiting for me to discuss the conspiracy theories about Murdoch committing suicide and/or shooting at passangers, but you will have to go elsewhere for those fantastical speculations. I'll probably write up in the future though why Officer Murdoch should absolutely NOT be villainized.⁴

¹The first three quotes are all from Lightoller's autobiography, Titanic and Other Ships, as reprinted in The Story of the Titanic, as told by its survivors, edited by Jack Winocour.

²The initial Second Officer, Davy Blair, did not move down to Third. Blair, to his then unknowing luck, stayed ashore in England, with the Titanic's junior officers all staying in their original positions.

³H. G. Lowe, from the American Inquiry.

⁴That and Ismay too. And heck, Lightoller's autobiography certainly tells you who he thinks the villain is -- the way he writes about how much he hated the American Inquiry is tragically hilarious.

[makeste]

On your katsuki and Izuku meta I think what they both needed is to learn not everyone can think the same way as you like no one should place these impossible standards on themselves. Katsuki biggest weakness isn’t his need to win but his entrie selfish ego whitch blows up on him a lot and izuku biggest weakness is his lack of selfworth in himself that causes him to become reckless he doesn’t place any faith in himself.

one of the points I was actually trying to make is that I don’t think Deku actually has a problem with his own self-worth. @dimplesblogs had a great addition to my post where they pointed out the difference between self-worth, and self-confidence. I hope you don’t mind if I quote you here!

Something I see often in characterizations of Deku is that “lack of self-worth” and “lack of self-confidence” seem to get mixed up a lot.

- self-worth: a sense of one’s own value as a human being.

- self-confidence: confidence in oneself and in one’s powers and abilities.

and as they said, the two of them aren’t always mutually exclusive. but I do agree that in Deku’s case, it’s always been much more of the latter than the former.

Deku berates himself when he can’t save everyone not because he thinks he’s a failure, but because saving others is that important to him. that’s a life he couldn’t save. he can’t reconcile with the idea of that, and so he’s extra hard on himself because he’s frustrated. again, the parallels are right there with Katsuki. we saw that Katsuki ended up blaming himself after Kamino. but that doesn’t mean that Katsuki’s self-worth is inherently low (although I’ve certainly read plenty of takes arguing otherwise, and it’s an interesting topic to explore). it just means his expectations for himself are simply that high. and so he ends up taking on far more responsibility than any child should actually be trying to take upon themselves, because he doesn’t meet his own exceptionally high standards. his goal isn’t to “win most of the time”, it’s to win every time. he’s not aiming to simply be a great hero -- he’s aiming to be the greatest hero of all time. and because of that, even the littlest failure is going to hit him that much harder, to say nothing of an event like Kamino that basically upended society as we know it.

Katsuki did have an emotional crisis after Kamino, but it was a crisis of faith, of confidence, brought on by that one specific trauma. and once he talked it out with Deku and All Might (well, punched it out with Deku and then talked it out with All Might, lol), he moved past it. it was meant to be a stepping stone in the path of his character growth. it was great that we got all of that angst, don’t get me wrong, but ultimately it wasn’t something meant to be wallowed in, but overcome.

and it’s the same with Deku. I fully expect Deku to have a similar crisis of faith after this arc, brought on by the combination of him feeling responsible for other people getting hurt because of him (even though it’s not his fault he was being targeted), and him not having enough mastery over OFA to be able to protect them all. a lot of people got hurt -- a lot of people that he’s close to. Aizawa, Gran Torino, Todoroki, and Kacchan himself. and Deku desperately did not want that to happen, but he couldn’t stop it. and I don’t doubt he’s going to blame himself for that.

but that doesn’t mean he thinks of himself as worthless. that’s a long-running fandom interpretation that I happen to strongly disagree with. Deku is someone who persevered with his dream of becoming a hero for years, despite everyone telling him it was impossible. he may struggle at times with feeling like he might not be up to the gargantuan task of living up to All Might’s legacy, but that has less to do with his own self-worth, and more to do with him putting All Might up on a massive pedestal. and also the fact that he’s only a boy, and that is an enormous amount of responsibility. there’s a difference between having low self-worth, and being honest with yourself about just how far you still have to go.

and he’s basically being called upon to save the world now. and so he’s trying with everything he has to do that, and he gets anxious and frustrated and angry with himself when he fails (at times berating himself, in the same way that Katsuki called himself “weak”), not because he truly thinks he’s worthless, but because like Katsuki, he simply isn’t satisfied with anything less than living up to his own high standard. save everyone. not save most of the people. everyone. all of them. that’s the bar that he has set. and it’s the bar he’s determined to either reach or die trying.

and lastly, for the anon (actually multiple anons, but I didn’t post all of them) saying that’s naïve, I have to disagree with you. again, this is a superhero story. it’s a story about optimism and hope, about never giving up. Deku (who by the way absolutely does not have a lack of empathy, that’s a rather absurd claim lol; just because he yelled at Dabi after Dabi tried to set his friend and his mentor on fire doesn’t make him an apathetic monster who Doesn’t Care About The Villains’ Suffering, jesus. he’s out here trying to save Tomura even after Tomura stabbed his best friend and destroyed a city; where exactly do you get the notion that he doesn’t see the villains as human beings?) is the hero of the story precisely because he doesn’t give up on anybody. he wants to save everyone. you might call it naïve; I call it idealistic. it’s exactly the kind of crazy idealism that ends up winning the day in all of the best stories. BnHA isn’t some depressing narrative where the characters ultimately end up suffering all for naught. we’ve known exactly what this story is from day one. “this is the story of how I became a great hero.”

so yeah, I hope that clarifies some of my points a little better! while Deku may doubt himself at times (just like anyone in his shoes would doubt themselves), I really do think he just needs a little bit of encouragement right now, along with the reminder that he’s not in this alone. and possibly some sort of miracle broken bone elixir, and/or a couple of really sweet new robot limbs, depending on how that all plays out lol. anyways, but we’ll see.

[djemsostylist]

Thoughts on Episode 26 of SCK

In short--I loved it. 

There is a lot I could say about it, and I’m sure most of it has already been said by people far more eloquent than I.  But I haven’t written down my thoughts about an episode in while and if ever there was an episode to talk about, well, this one was certainly it.  

There was a post I saw going around a few weeks ago about how sometimes enjoying a piece of media means viewing it with a measure of grace.  As a critical person by nature, I thought a lot about what that means, and I’ve decided that it means that sometimes, a piece of media may not be perfect, but if the soul is there, that is the only thing that matters. 

So, I think one of the major issues I’ve seen talked about with 26 is that it felt too good.  And to some degree, that makes sense.  Let’s be honest, 22-25 were not very good.  They had great singular moments, but taken as a whole, they were a bit of a mess.  20-21 gave us beautiful set up and direction and forward movement with not only Serkan and Eda as a couple, but as individuals, and that’s even with the contract mess.  But then 22 and 23 came along and we have Eda acting like a brat, intimate scenes that were cute and hot but ultimately a let down since the end result was always an “I love you” from Serkan followed by an -_- face from Eda, and basically no real forward movement with their relationship or character at all.  Add the introduction of one of the worst characters in television, and you kind of had a mess.  And while 24 was better, it still felt weird.  Serkan is acting distant, Eda is acting married, and again, no going anywhere until the last 5 minutes of the episode.  Plus the long awaited BA shows up and it turns out she’s a Disney villain with even thinner motives.  Then there was 25, which I think left most of the fandom feeling empty.  Serkan and Eda are at their very lowest possible point, and all their friends and family don’t seem to care and the amount of Edser scenes was too low to give us enough to not want to rage at the final scene. Plus, dubbed Prince showed up attempting to recreate a plot from Vampire Diaries and welp.  

So in 26, we start with what should be a devastated Eda and Serkan who have no path back to each other.  We were fully expecting another few weeks of breakup and Eda having to chase Serkan and more moping and more sadness and we didn’t get that.  Instead, we start with an Eda who is ready to do whatever it takes to spend as little time away from Serkan as possible and a Serkan who isn’t going to let go.  His plan is brilliant, and it works.  He knows something fishy is going on--despite her words the night before, which certainly hurt, she was also literally in tears and had been for the whole day.  And he knows she loves him.  In a way, his actions at the start of 26 are another brilliant parallel to the beginning of 19--Serkan breaks and decides to tell Eda everything the moment it becomes clear that she might actually move on with her life and he will lose her forever.  Eda breaks at the beginning of 26 when it’s clear Serkan is going to be a cool cucumber about everything and stop chasing her.  (I’m saying they could have probably solved all their issues in 15 if Eda had asked Efe on a date-Serkan would have been on his knees confessing and proposing in 10 min. flat, but I digress.)

No, they don’t have a ton of conversation in this.  There aren’t heartfelt, long dialogs about the wrongs they’ve done and the things they feel.  Frankly, they aren’t necessary.  Serkan has, at this point, said all he needs to say and he couldn’t be clearer.  And while we still haven’t heard Eda say “I love you”, her actions this episode show it, and he knows it, and well, if that end scene isn’t the biggest “I love you” idk what is.   

I was talking with @lolo-deli about the episode and she made an excellent point.  I’ll quote here “Their conversation in hall was short in dialogue but heavy in meaning and implication. In very few words they established: last night was real (and implied to be meaningful), she needs time to work out some complications (he understands what this means, she loves him and the break up was what was not real) and he will both trust her and wait for her without pressuring her AND he's still worried about her (in this case over Seyman which turns out to be a non-factor ama neyse!). That's a lot of important conversation wrapped up in a a 90 sec convo but it fits them because they understand one another very well.”

This is true of their conversation in the conference room after.  They almost go back down the jealousy fight spiral we’ve seen 100 times, but instead, Eda stops herself, Serkan stops himself, and instead of fighting, they talk and both agree they were wrong and acting silly and reaffirm their love and trust for each other.  In fact, both of them verbalize to their friends that they are 100% sure of the other and their feelings--they aren’t threatened by the Prince and B because of their fear of losing the other, but because both of those characters are creepy and dangerous and unhinged.  

I was okay with this episode because we spent 21 episodes watching them grow apart and together--sure the previous episodes were rough, but it was a transitional period.  I’m giving grace--and to quote lolo-deli again  “They trust each other, it's really that simple. We didn't need to have a half hour of conversation to establish that. Just like we don't need to see Eda chasing Serkan for two more episodes to prove she loves him because she does. Also simple. We know and he knows it. He deserved affirmation and he got it, she bloody well proposed marriage.”

And this is how I feel.  26 wasn’t perfect--I still didn’t care for the AAA plot, Thor and Barf need to be gone fast, and BA is kind of a one dimensional villain I want to like more than I do.  Engin and the rest of the friends were better this episode--Serkan and Engin talked for the first time in what feels like forever, Melo and Ceren were excellent support for Eda, and Serkan and Ferit are still on track to becoming the besties I want them to be.  I’m not 100% sure what Eda’s plan is to get around BA, although maybe she decided to take Serkan’s advice from 13 and just let it all burn down around them and they will be stronger together for it.  Honestly, Serkan was back and on fire this episode (and hotter than ever as a result) so maybe she knows that together, it doesn’t matter what BA is gonna do. 

We don’t know what is coming in the next few weeks, or what is left in front of us.  We’ve had a string of disappointing episodes.  But Serkan and Eda have been apart for 11 episodes and they are finally back together and on the same page at the same time for the first time ever in their relationship.  

In closing, I’ll leave you with this.  Regardless of how you feel about 26, Eda Yılız, chronic “leaper before looker” took the time to steal back Serkan’s ring, get together that look, find the world’s most extra ring box, sneak onto Serkan’s private plane, and then recreate their first real moment together (which we were oh so recently reminded of) in order to ask the love of her life to marry her.  And that is beautiful, no matter how many subplots get lost or editing goes bad.  Eda Yıldız asked Serkan Bolat to marry her with a ring with her name inside it on a plane where they first went from “nothing to something”.  Poetry and  parallels and I loved it.