#Celebrating unity and mindfulness this

[nextradevelopers]

Celebrating unity and mindfulness this #InternationalYogaDay 🌈 Let's come together as a global family to spread love, peace, and positive energy through the practice of yoga.

[novaursa]

https://youtu.be/qillYsPzEs0?si=zWRzrkWUSQ-jRaTA

Can you do this just with the Targaryens and Lannister? Sister!reader Targaryen vs Cersie Lannister 🫣🙏🏼

Fire and Gold

- Summary: Rhaegar chooses you over her. And Ceresi never forgives you for it.

- Paring: sister!reader/Rhaegar Targaryen

- Note: In this AU Robert's Rebellion never happened. Rhaegar marries the reader, Ceresi still marries Robert after Lyanna dies in childbirth along with their child.

- Rating: Mature 16+

- Next part: 2

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround

- A/N: I hope this was what you had in mind, dear anon. The story is fresh from the oven.

You and Rhaegar have always known how to draw a crowd. The smallfolk line the roads, banners flapping in the breeze as cheers follow your every step. Rhaegar’s hand rests at the small of your back, his touch familiar and comforting. The two of you move through the throng with practiced grace, your smiles reflecting the adoration in the eyes of those gathered. The royal tour has been a triumphant journey so far, a celebration of unity and strength. Yet, beneath the surface, tensions simmer, particularly when it comes to the Lannisters.

It’s no surprise that Cersei Lannister would try to disrupt your journey. Tywin’s golden daughter has never hidden her disdain for you. You, the sister who Rhaegar chose over her, who embodies all that she desired but could never possess. Her presence is almost expected as you approach the encampment set up for the royal party. When you step inside the tent, the air is thick with unspoken tension. Rhaegar’s jaw tightens beside you, and you can feel the shift in the atmosphere like a gathering storm.

Inside, Robert Baratheon looms, his massive form imposing even in stillness. Cersei stands at his side, her face twisted in fury, her eyes burning with a hatred you’ve known since you were both young girls at court. The very air seems to crackle between you. But your attention is drawn to your children and theirs, lined up in a tense, volatile standoff. Your eldest son, Aelor, stands tall, his eyes a mirror of Rhaegar’s determination. Blood stains the edge of his blade, and a long, angry gash mars Joffrey’s cheek. The boy’s face is contorted with pain and rage, his hand pressed against the wound.

“What in the name of the gods happened here?” Rhaegar’s voice is a sharp, commanding presence in the room. The knights and guards around you tense, sensing the gravity of the situation.

Robert spits, his voice dripping with contempt. “Your damn spawn attacked my son. Maimed him, Targaryen. That’s what happened.”

Aelor’s voice rings out, clear and unwavering. “He insulted us first. He insulted me, my brothers and sisters. He insulted you, Father, and you, Mother. When he drew his blade, I defended us.”

Joffrey, clutching his wounded cheek, shrieks in a high, grating voice. “Lies! He called me a Lannister bastard, and then he—”

You narrow your eyes, your gaze locking onto Cersei. It is an open secret in the court that her children bear none of the Baratheon traits, their golden hair and green eyes a reflection of the Lannister line. You’ve never spoken of it openly, but now, the accusation lingers in the air, unspoken but heavy. Cersei’s lips press into a thin line, her fury palpable.

“How dare you,” she hisses, her voice trembling with barely contained rage. “Your vile little whelps—”

“Enough.” Rhaegar’s voice cuts through the tumult like a blade. “They are children, Cersei. This matter is settled.”

“Settled?” Cersei’s face flushes crimson. She turns to Robert, desperation sharpening her tone. “You will let this stand, my lord? He has harmed our son!”

Robert’s eyes flicker between Rhaegar, your children, and his wife. His face is flushed, whether from drink or anger, you cannot tell. For a moment, the entire tent holds its breath, waiting for the King’s decree.

But Rhaegar steps forward, his presence filling the space. “This is over. Children quarrel. It will not be escalated further.”

Cersei’s expression is a mask of fury, her body taut with indignation. Her eyes meet yours across the tent, and for a heartbeat, it’s as if the world narrows to just the two of you. There, in her gaze, you see the depth of her resentment, the wound to her pride that will never heal. You hold her stare, your silence as cutting as any word you could utter.

Cersei’s movements that soon follow are a blur, her hand snatching the dagger from Robert’s belt with a ferocity that sends a jolt of shock through the tent. She lunges at you, the blade aimed with a deadly precision that could only be born from hate. Instinct takes over, and you reach out, catching the weapon with your bare hand before it can pierce your heart.

The sharp steel bites deep into your palm, the pain immediate and excruciating. Blood wells up, spilling over your fingers and dripping onto the ground. Gasps echo through the tent, but no one dares to intervene. Robert’s roar reverberates around you, filled with anger and disbelief. “Cersei, what are you doing?!”

Your children’s cries pierce the air, frantic and terrified. Their small voices, shrill with fear, tear at your heart. The sight of their mother locked in a deadly struggle, blood pouring from your hand, is too much for them to bear. But you can’t look away from Cersei, can’t afford a single moment of distraction.

Her face is contorted with fury, a rage so intense it seems to consume her. “You ruined everything!” she screams, her voice raw. “You were supposed to be nothing more than a bargaining chip, another mad Targaryen girl! But instead, you took him—took the life that should have been mine! And now I’m shackled to this brute, trapped in a prison of my own making because of you!”

“You chose this,” you retort, your voice low, steady, despite the pain searing through your arm. “You and your father wanted too much. You thought you could seize the crown, twist the realm to your liking. But it was never yours to take.”

Her eyes flash, and with a snarl, she presses down, driving the blade further into your grip. The pain is blinding, but you refuse to let go, even as the dagger slices across your forearm in a brutal arc. You cry out, the sound sharp and involuntary, as the blade carves a deep, angry line from wrist to elbow. Warm blood streams down your arm, pooling at your feet.

The lords and ladies around you recoil, horrified, but none move to intervene. Fear holds them frozen in place, their eyes wide, their faces pale. The tent, filled with the sound of your children’s desperate sobs, seems to close in around you.

“Look at you,” Cersei hisses, her voice dripping with venom. “Bleeding for a throne you think you’re owed, just like your father. You’re no different from him. Mad, arrogant, and dangerous.”

“And you,” you bite back, your voice shaking with pain and fury, “are nothing but a bitter, power-hungry fool. You think you can cut me down? You think you can break me? I am not my father, and I will not be cowed by you.”

With a furious cry, she shoves the blade again, but you twist, forcing the weapon away. The dagger slips from her grasp, falling to the ground with a dull thud. You stumble back, clutching your bleeding arm, your breaths coming in ragged gasps. Pain throbs through every nerve, but you stand your ground, refusing to show weakness.

Rhaegar is at your side in an instant, his face ashen with worry. “Y/N,” he murmurs, his voice tight with concern, his hands gentle as he examines your injured arm. “Gods, what has she done to you?”

Robert steps forward, his face a mask of barely restrained fury. “Have you lost your senses, woman?” he growls, rounding on Cersei. “You draw a blade on the Princess of the Realm, on your king’s daughter? Are you so eager to invite Aerys’ wrath upon us all?”

Cersei glares back at him, her chest heaving, her hands shaking. “I don’t care!” she cries, her voice breaking. “All my life, I’ve been promised things that were taken away. I was promised Rhaegar, promised a crown, and now I’m nothing! Stuck here, with you, and this—this farce of a marriage. I’m trapped, and it’s all her fault!”

“Enough.” Robert’s voice is like a hammer striking stone, his eyes blazing with anger. “You’ve gone too far. This is beyond foolish, beyond dangerous. You think Aerys will turn a blind eye when he hears of this? His daughter bleeding at your hands?”

The name of your father seems to cut through her fury, a flicker of fear passing over her face. The threat is real—everyone knows the Mad King’s unpredictable wrath, his unquenchable thirst for vengeance. And you, his beloved daughter, lying wounded at her feet? The consequences could be catastrophic.

Rhaegar’s arms wrap around you, his touch gentle as he guides you away from the scene. “We need to get you to the maester,” he says softly, his voice tight with worry.

You nod, the pain throbbing with each heartbeat, but you keep your gaze on Cersei, refusing to look away. “Remember this, Cersei,” you say, your voice steady despite the agony. “You brought this on yourself. You chose your path, just as I chose mine. And you’ll find that you’ve made an enemy you can’t afford to have.”

With that, Rhaegar leads you out of the tent, your children trailing behind, their faces pale and tear-streaked. The lords and ladies part before you, their whispers already spreading like wildfire through the camp.

This skirmish is over, but the repercussions are only beginning.

[jessicalprice]

I think the thing that most Christian atheists who are rebelling against authoritarian Christian backgrounds don't get is why Jews remain Jewish.

Like, I get it, you engaged in your practices because you were told that God would punish you if you didn't, because you're told you're supposed to fear God.

(Incidentally, we don't even use the same language about this. The term that gets translated in most English bibles as "fear" is, like many classical Hebrew words, a lot more multivalent than the English term, and has more of a connotation of "awe." (See, for example, the Gilgamesh dream sequence: "Why am I trembling? No god passed this way." A god is something in whose wake one trembles.) It's what one feels when one is faced with something bigger than oneself, something overwhelming. For some people that may be fear of being harmed. For others it may be wonder or even ecstasy, standing outside oneself.)

But in 2023, Jews have the option (and, indeed, still the cultural pressure) to completely abandon Judaism. Very easily. We can, in fact, do it quite passively. If we're not actively trying to engage with it, it will very much drift away from us.

And it's not fear of divine punishment keeping most of us engaged.

The thing is, if you proved to me tomorrow that God doesn't exist, I'm not sure anything about my life or my practice would change. (I'm already agnostic, so *shrug*. I don't believe in a God-person. Sometimes I believe in a unity to reality, a life and a direction to it. Sometimes I don't. I just don't have the arrogance to think I understand definitively the way the universe does or doesn't work.) I still would celebrate Shabbat, I still wouldn't eat pork, I still would have a mezuzah on my doorway.

I do all that stuff because I'm Jewish, not because I think God will get mad if I don't. I do all that stuff because it's part of a cultural system that I see as wise and life-giving and therapeutic and worth maintaining.

And the thing is, the cultural system that Christian antitheists want us to assimilate into, under the guise of "getting rid of religion", is very much a white Protestant culture. It's not culturally neutral. It has practices, and it has a particular worldview, and it has cultural norms that are just as irrational as any other culture's.

It's also very telling that Christian antitheists purport to be harmed by Jews continuing to be Jewish. Why? We don't impose our norms on anyone else, and we overwhelmingly vote (and organize, and engage in activism) against the imposition of Christian "religious" norms, such as the curtailing of reproductive freedom, blue laws, etc.

So you're only "harmed" by our continued existence in the same way Christians purport to be harmed by it: by claiming that the very existence of a group that doesn't share your worldview and practices is somehow an act of oppression against you.

Which is, you know, white supremacist logic.

You're still upholding the logic of Jesus's genocidal, colonial Great Commission even though you supposedly don't believe in the god that ordered it anymore.

That's gotta be one of the saddest things I encounter among my fellow humans.

You took down all the crosses in the church of your mind and chucked them out the window, but you still refuse to step foot outside the church building, contenting yourself with claiming it's not a church, and firing out the windows at the synagogue and mosque down the road, the same way you used to.

[astra-ravana]

Counting Crows

As far as symbolism goes crows are a pretty mixed bag. To some they are the sacred messengers of spirits or deities and signs of good fortune, to others, they are an omen of bad luck, sorrow, and death. Witches have been divinating the crow's message, through various methods, for centuries and perhaps the most notable of these is the practice of counting crows. Granted, there are several variations of this, handed down through poems and literature, but what about counting crows as an in depth divination method? Next time you see crows flying around, consider the following:

1 Crow:

• Spiritual/divine messenger

• Transformation

• Sudden change

• Death and rebirth

• Pay attention to your intuition

• Upcoming difficulties or misfortune

• Fears and anxiety

• Our shadow

2 Crows:

• Good luck and good news

• Positive events

• Love and harmony

• Partnership

• Joy

• Success is just around the corner

• Creativity and the arts

• Protection and guidance

• Confidence in your decisions

• Be honest and open with your emotions

• Symbolic of Odin

3 Crows:

• Possible warning of misfortune or negative events coming

• Secrets and intuition

• Wedding or celebration

• Birth of a girl

• Balance and unity

• The Otherworld and Underworld

• Curiosity, intelligence, higher perspectives

• Mind, body, spirit (connection to the Ether)

• Destiny

• Magick, witchcraft, and alchemy

• Symbolic of Hekate and Morrigan

4 Crows:

• Great news

• Abundance

• Job opportunity or marriage

• New direction in life

• Fresh start

• Excitement

• The start of a journey

• Fertility

• New projects

• Birth of a boy

• New beginnings

5 Crows:

• Good fortune

• Money is coming

• Prosperity, abundance, and growth

• Wealth

• Promotions, awards, recognition

• Winning

• Beware of accidents, mishaps, and dangers

6 Crows:

• Significant life event

• Karma

• Start of a spiritual journey or awakening

• Difficulty

• Metamorphosis

• Winning a prize, or receiving an inheritance

• Loss or gain

• Thresholds

7 Crows:

• The Universe is aligned

• Peace, harmony, tranquility

• Balance

• Collective wisdom

• Strength

• Protection from negativity

• Pause and reflect

• Awareness

• Insights

• Meditation

• The truth

• Mystery solved

8 Crows:

• Manifestation

• Seize the day

• Auspicious omen

• Windfalls

• Good luck

• Mind over matter

• Golden opportunities

• Focus

• Dedication

• Wishes granted

• A positive, life-altering experience

9 Crows:

• Romantic love

• New love or strengthening current relationships

• Deep emotional connections

• Positive recognition and regard

• Answered prayers

• Impending danger

• Caution and common sense

• Judgement

• Divine authority and higher powers

10 Crows:

• Spiritual epiphany

• Channel for higher realms

• Reset, reevaluate

• Insights into the future

• Otherworldly intuition

• Psychic ability

• The end of one phase and beginning of another

• Complete turn around in luck

• The Universe is talking to you

Larger Flocks:

• Great spritual power

• A higher purpose

• The big picture

• You are seen and acknowledged

• The Universe has your back

[keehomania]

nevertheless (알고있지만) – jeon jungkook (전정국)

✧.* 18+

attachment was a curious thing. it began subtly, weaving its tendrils through the fabric of your life without notice, like the first soft blush of dawn on a still, sleepy horizon. at first, it seemed innocuous, a delicate thread that merely tugged gently at the edges of your existence, a whisper of a presence that was easily overlooked.

yet, in its essence, attachment was a powerful force, beautiful and treacherous. it painted the world in vivid hues, each moment tinged with a significance that it otherwise wouldn't have possessed. the simplest actions—a smile, a touch, a shared silence—became imbued with profound meaning. your heart swelled, enraptured by the beauty of connection, and your soul reveled in the comfort of knowing and being known.

as the days passed, those gentle threads of attachment intertwined, forming an intricate tapestry. each shared experience, each memory, added a new thread, strengthening the bond and deepening the sense of unity. it was a masterpiece of human emotion, a testament to the power of connection that filled your heart with warmth and light. the world felt richer, more vibrant, as if seen through a lens that sharpened every detail and amplified every sensation. but attachment, for all its beauty, carried a darker undertone. like a vine creeping up the side of a grand old mansion, it began to strangle, its grip tightening imperceptibly. what was once a source of joy and comfort transformed into a source of anxiety and fear. the delicate balance between freedom and dependence tipped, and your heart, once light and free, grew heavy with the weight of expectation and longing.

In this duality lay the true peril of attachment. It was a slow, insidious poison, sweet in its initial taste but deadly as it coursed through your veins. The same connection that brought life and color could, in an instant, become a noose, choking the very essence of the self. Your mind became consumed with thoughts of the other, every moment apart a silent torment, every slight perceived as a dagger to the heart.

you loved attachment. you loved love. the depth of your emotions was a wellspring of inspiration, each feeling a stroke of color, a line in a sketch, a form in a block of clay. you embraced your emotions, delving into their depths because they breathed life into your art. sculpting and painting were your lifelines, your way of interpreting the world and expressing the inexpressible. you found beauty in every raw edge, every shade of shadow and light, every curve and angle that made up the diverse tapestry of art. art was your sanctuary, a realm where diversity reigned supreme. each piece, whether a painting or a sculpture, told a unique story, resonated with a distinct voice. you loved the freedom it granted, the way it allowed you to channel your deepest feelings into something tangible, something that could be seen and touched. the fluidity of art mirrored the fluidity of your emotions, capturing the fleeting, the ephemeral, and the eternal in one breathtaking sweep.

what you didn't love, was attending your boyfriend's opening art show to show your support, only to find yourself standing in front of what he deemed his masterpiece. the centerpiece of the entire exhibit was a sculpture of you, rendered in painstaking detail, nude, in a scandalous position. the marble gleamed under the gallery lights, every curve and line of your body exposed for the world to see. jackson saw it as a pinnacle of his artistic achievement, a celebration of your form and your intimacy. he looked at it with pride, his eyes shining with the fervor of creation. but to you, it was a betrayal, a public humiliation. every whisper, every gaze, felt like a thousand needles piercing your skin, stripping away your dignity layer by layer. the room seemed to close in on you, the walls pressing inward as the weight of judgment and exposure crushed your spirit.

you couldn't breathe. the air was thick, suffocating, filled with the murmurs of the onlookers and the indifferent hum of the gallery. your chest tightened, panic rising as your eyes darted around for an escape. you felt the sting of tears, hot and unforgiving, blurring your vision. without thinking, you turned and ran, the murmurs growing louder, more accusing, as you fled the gallery. you ran until your legs burned, until your breath came in ragged gasps, until the noise and the lights of the gallery were far behind you. you stumbled onto a set of stairs, collapsing onto them, your strength spent. the world around you faded into a blur, and you buried your face in your hands, the sobs wracking your body.

the cold stone of the steps pressed against your skin, grounding you in the midst of your turmoil. you cried for the trust that had been broken, for the exposure you hadn't asked for, for the art that had turned against you. you had loved attachment, had loved love, had embraced every emotion because it allowed you to create. but in that moment, it felt like those very emotions were tearing you apart, leaving you raw and vulnerable, exposed to the harsh judgment of the world.

your tears flowed freely, each one a testament to the pain and the betrayal you felt. the love you had cherished, the attachment you had valued, seemed like cruel mockeries, twisting the knife deeper into your heart. you had poured your soul into your art, into your relationship, only to have it thrown back at you in the most brutal of ways. and so you cried, the steps becoming your sanctuary, the darkness of the night offering a cold, indifferent comfort as you wept for the love and the attachment that had led you to this moment of utter despair.

jackson trailed behind you, the sound of his footsteps echoing against the cold night air. when he found you on the steps, crumpled and broken, he paused, his silhouette stark against the dim streetlights. for a moment, he simply watched, his eyes narrowing as he took in the sight of you crying, your body wracked with sobs. the indifference in his gaze was chilling, a sharp contrast to the tenderness you had once believed existed between you.

“what the fuck are you doing?” he demanded, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade. “causing a scene like that in the middle of my show?” you looked up, your face streaked with tears, your eyes red and swollen from crying. “you humiliated me,” you choked out, your voice trembling. “you’ve shit all over my reputation.”

his eyes flashed with anger and disdain. “you have no idea what art is,” he spat. “you’re clueless. that sculpture was a masterpiece, a celebration of you, and you just made a fool of yourself and me.” his words struck you like physical blows, each one harder than the last. you struggled to find your voice, to make him understand the depth of your hurt. “it wasn’t art,” you whispered. “it was a betrayal. you exposed me to everyone, without my consent, without even thinking about how i would feel.”

he scoffed, his lips curling into a sneer. “you’re overreacting. you always do. that piece was about beauty, about vulnerability. you’re just too blind to see it.”

with that, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving you alone on the steps, your tears flowing freely once more. the echo of his footsteps faded into the night, leaving a void where his presence had been. you felt as if the ground had opened up beneath you, swallowing you in a chasm of despair and betrayal. you knew what art was. art was your lifeblood, your passion, your way of making sense of the world. you understood its power, its ability to evoke emotions and provoke thought. nevertheless, in that moment, you realized you had forgotten what love was. love wasn’t supposed to feel like that. it wasn’t supposed to leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable, abandoned and broken.

the steps were cold and unforgiving beneath you, a cruel reminder of the harsh reality you found yourself in. the night pressed in around you, its silence a stark contrast to the turmoil inside your heart. you had loved him, had believed in the connection you shared, but now it felt like a cruel joke, a painful illusion. you sat there, your face buried in your hands, trying to piece together the fragments of your shattered heart. the art you had loved, the emotions you had cherished, all seemed tainted now, twisted by the betrayal you had experienced. you had thought you understood love, had believed in its beauty and its power, but now it felt like a distant memory, something you couldn’t quite grasp.

and so you cried, the tears falling silently as you tried to make sense of the pain, the betrayal, the loss. you cried for the love that had turned into a weapon, for the art that had been twisted into something cruel. you cried for the trust that had been broken, and for the heart that had been shattered. in the quiet of the night, you felt the weight of your emotions, their depth and their intensity. you had loved deeply, had felt every emotion with a fervor that fueled your art. but in that moment, on those cold steps, you felt the sharp sting of love’s betrayal, and the emptiness it left behind.

the night wore on, the stars glittering coldly above, indifferent to your pain. and as you sat there, alone and broken, you realized that while you understood art, you had forgotten what love truly was. it wasn’t the grand gestures or the passionate declarations. it was the quiet moments of understanding, the gentle touch of reassurance, the unspoken bond that held two hearts together. you had forgotten that love was supposed to heal, not hurt. it was supposed to uplift, not tear down. and in that moment, you vowed to remember, to never let anyone make you forget again. the tears continued to fall, but beneath them, a resolve began to form, a determination to reclaim the love and the art that were rightfully yours, to find the strength to rise from the ashes of your heartbreak and create anew.

the club was a throbbing pulse of music and light, a sanctuary for those seeking to drown their sorrows or celebrate fleeting moments of joy. you found yourself there, the need to escape the pain and humiliation driving you to its neon embrace. the air was thick with the scent of sweat, alcohol, and anticipation, each beat of the music resonating through your body like a heartbeat. you made your way to the bar, ordering a drink to numb the ache in your chest. the liquid was a fiery solace, burning down your throat and spreading warmth through your veins. one drink turned into another, and another, as you tried to drink the night away, to forget the betrayal, the hurt, the sculpture that had stripped you bare in more ways than one.

but as the air grew tighter and the room spun slightly with the haze of alcohol, you felt the need for a moment of clarity, of fresh air. you stepped outside, the cool night air a contrast to the suffocating atmosphere of the club. reaching into your pocket, you pulled out a box of cigarettes, your fingers fumbling as you searched for your lighter. It was gone, lost in the chaos of the night.

“fuck,” you muttered quietly, frustration boiling over. as you looked up, you saw a man standing nearby, a smile playing on his lips as he flicked his lighter open. the small flame danced in the darkness, casting a warm glow on his face. “need a light?” he asked, his voice smooth and warm, like a balm to your frayed nerves.

you nodded, a grateful smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “yeah, thanks.” he stepped closer, the flame catching the tip of your cigarette. you inhaled deeply, the smoke curling into your lungs and bringing a strange sense of calm. as you exhaled, he cracked a joke, something about fate bringing a cigarette and a lighter together. you laughed, the sound surprising you with its lightness.

he lit his own cigarette, taking a drag as he turned slightly, giving you a glimpse of the tattoo on the back of his neck—a butterfly, delicate and intricate, its wings poised as if ready to take flight. “that’s a beautiful tattoo,” you said, your eyes tracing the lines of the butterfly. he glanced back at you, a faint smile touching his lips. “thanks. i like butterflies. got a few of them at home.”

“they’re beautiful,” you admitted, the honesty in your voice surprising even you. “especially monarch butterflies. there’s something about them that’s just mesmerizing.” he didn’t respond immediately, instead reaching into his pocket and pulling out a marker. taking your hand gently, he began to draw, the marker’s tip gliding over your skin. when he finished, he held up your wrist, showing you the butterfly he had drawn there—a monarch, its wings spread wide in a silent declaration of beauty and freedom.

“now you have a butterfly of your own,” he said, his voice soft but carrying an undercurrent of warmth. “to remind you of their beauty.”

you looked at the butterfly on your wrist, a smile forming on your lips. it was a small gesture, but it held a world of meaning, a moment of connection that pierced through the haze of pain and alcohol. “thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible above the city’s distant hum. he nodded, a silent smile on his face, before turning and walking back into the club, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the butterfly on your wrist. the night seemed a little less dark, the weight of your emotions a little lighter.

as you stood there, the cigarette burning slowly between your fingers, you felt a glimmer of hope, a reminder that even in the darkest moments, beauty could still be found. the butterfly was a symbol, a promise that you could find your way back to the love and the art that had always been your sanctuary. you took another drag of your cigarette, the smoke swirling around you like a protective veil. the club’s music thumped in the background, a distant reminder of the chaos you had escaped. but in this moment, with the butterfly on your wrist and the memory of a stranger’s kindness, you felt a small but significant shift within you.

the next day, you found solace in the familiar embrace of your studio. the room was filled with the quiet hum of creativity, the soft scraping of tools against clay, the muted whispers of students deep in their work. your hands moved deftly over the surface of your sculpture, the tactile sensation of the material grounding you, offering a brief respite from the emotional turmoil that still lingered from the night before. your fingers traced the curves and lines, each motion a silent meditation, an attempt to channel the chaos inside you into something tangible, something beautiful. the sculpture began to take shape, a reflection of your innermost thoughts and feelings, an expression of the vulnerability and strength that intertwined within you.

as you lost yourself in the rhythm of your work, the studio door creaked open, and your friend poked her head in. jihyo was a vibrant presence, her energy infectious, and her smile always managing to brighten the darkest of days. “hey, you,” she called, waving you over. “let's step out for a smoke. you look like you need a break.”

you hesitated, your hands still covered in clay, but her insistence was hard to resist. with a sigh, you wiped your hands and followed her out, the studio door closing softly behind you. the fresh air was a welcome change, and the courtyard was quiet, a peaceful oasis amidst the bustling campus. jihyo handed you a cigarette, and you lit it, the familiar act bringing a semblance of calm. she leaned against the wall, her eyes narrowing as she studied you. “alright, spill it. what’s bugging you?”

you took a drag of your cigarette, the smoke curling around you. “jackson and i broke up,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. her eyes widened in surprise. “what? when? what happened?”

you recounted the events of the previous night, the betrayal and humiliation still raw in your mind. as you spoke, her expression shifted from shock to anger.

“he did what?” she exclaimed, her voice rising. “that sick son of a bitch, how could he think that was okay?” you shrugged, the weight of it all pressing down on you. “he called it art. i called it betrayal. we saw things differently.”

jihyo shook her head, her anger palpable. “you deserve so much better than that. he had no right to expose you like that.” as she spoke, you caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of your eye. your heart skipped a beat as you recognized the man from the previous night. he was walking by, his posture relaxed, but his eyes met yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. the recognition in his gaze mirrored your own, a silent acknowledgment of the shared moment you had experienced.

he seemed as shocked as you were, but he recovered quickly, a smile tugging at his lips. you couldn’t help but smile back, the memory of his kindness a small comfort in the midst of your turmoil. “hey, jihyo,” you said, nudging her gently and nodding in his direction. “do you know who that is?”

she followed your gaze, her eyes narrowing as she took in the sight of him. “oh, that’s jeon jungkook. he works in the building department. total slut, though. you should keep your distance.” her words were blunt, her tone dismissive, but you couldn’t help but feel a pang of curiosity. jungkook glanced back at you once more before continuing on his way, the smile still lingering on his face. you watched him go, the memory of his smile and the butterfly he had drawn on your wrist vivid in your mind.

you nodded absently, still watching him from a distance. “yeah, sure. i’ll keep that in mind.” as the two of you finished your cigarettes and headed back to the studio, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was different from the way jihyo described him. there was a gentleness in his eyes, a quiet kindness that intrigued you. you didn’t know what the future held, but for now, the memory of his smile and the butterfly on your wrist gave you a small glimmer of hope, a reminder that beauty and kindness could still be found, even in the most unexpected places.

back in the studio, you lost yourself once more in the clay, the rhythm of your movements a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. each touch, each stroke of your tools, was an act of creation, a way to channel the tumult of emotions into something tangible. the world outside the studio faded away, leaving only the quiet hum of creativity and the comforting solidity of your sculpture.

the creak of the door barely registered in your focused state. it wasn’t until you sensed a presence directly in front of you that you looked up, your hands pausing mid-motion. there he was, jeon jungkook, the man from the night before, sitting casually on a stool, his eyes bright with curiosity and amusement. he smiled, a warm, easy smile that seemed to light up the room. “you work with such intensity,” he remarked, his voice carrying a note of genuine admiration. “it’s really impressive.”

“thanks,” you replied, your mind flashing back to jihyo’s warning about him. you tried to keep your expression neutral, though his unexpected presence had thrown you off balance.

his gaze drifted to your wrist, where the butterfly he had drawn still lingered. “the butterfly is still there,” he noted with a hint of satisfaction. you looked down at the delicate sketch, a small smile tugging at your lips. “yeah, seems like she likes it there.”

“she does,” he agreed, a playful glint in his eye. “but i think she’d like a drink more. would you wanna grab one with me?” for a moment, you hesitated, jihyo’s words echoing in your mind: “total slut, though. you should keep your distance.” but there was something about him, something that intrigued you. his easy confidence, his unexpected kindness from the night before—curiosity got the better of you.

“sure,” you said, nodding. “i'd like that.” his smile widened, and he stood, offering his hand to help you up. his touch was warm, steadying you as you wiped the clay from your hands. the studio felt different now, charged with a new energy, as you left with him, the door closing softly behind you.

as you and him left walked, the conversation continued to flow effortlessly between you. the city lights cast a warm glow on the streets, and the night air was crisp, a perfect backdrop for the unexpected connection forming between you. “so, why have i never seen you around before?” jungkook asked, his hands casually tucked into his pockets as you walked side by side.

you shrugged, a small smile playing on your lips. “i’m usually in the sculpting department. it’s a bit tucked away, not many people venture there unless they have a reason to.” his eyes lit up with interest. “sculpting, huh? that’s pretty cool. i’ve always wanted to try it, but my parents insisted on something more practical. hence, the building department.”

you glanced at him, curiosity piqued. “you should chase your own freedom,” you said earnestly. “do what makes you happy.” he chuckled softly, the sound rich and warm. “all i chase is freedom. it’s a problem, really. but it’s why i resonate with butterflies so much. they’re the ultimate symbol of freedom and transformation.” you walked in comfortable silence for a moment, contemplating his words. jungkook’s outlook on life was refreshing, a stark contrast to the rigid expectations that had been imposed on you by others.

as you approached the bar, the lively atmosphere enveloped you. jungkook led you to a section of the room dedicated to dart throwing. the area was bustling with energy, the sound of laughter and friendly competition filling the air. “ever played darts before?” he asked, picking up a dart and spinning it expertly between his fingers. you shook your head, feeling a bit out of your element. “no, i’ve never tried it.”

he grinned, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. “well, it’s time you learned.” he turned to the dartboard, aiming with practiced ease and throwing the dart. It hit the center perfectly, a bullseye. “show-off,” you teased, impressed by his skill. he laughed, handing you a dart. “come on, give it a shot. i’ll help you.”

you took the dart, feeling a bit unsure. jungkook moved behind you, his presence close and comforting. he placed one arm gently around your waist, guiding your hand with the other. the warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine. “just relax,” he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. “focus on the target.”

with his guidance, you raised your arm and threw the dart. it flew straight, hitting the middle of the board. you turned to face him, your eyes meeting his. there was a shared moment of triumph and connection, your heart fluttering at the intensity of his gaze. “see? you’ve got it,” he said softly, a proud smile lighting up his face.

you couldn’t help but smile back, the feeling of accomplishment mingling with a growing sense of attraction. for the rest of the evening, you played a few more rounds, each throw bringing you closer, both physically and emotionally. the drinks flowed, the conversation deepened, and laughter punctuated the night. as the night drew to a close, he insisted on walking you home. the streets were quieter now, the city settling into a peaceful rhythm. when you reached your doorstep, he turned to face you, his expression tender.

“i had a great time tonight,” he said, his voice sincere. “thank you for joining me.”

“me too,” you replied, feeling a warmth spread through you. “i’m glad i came.” he stepped closer, his eyes holding yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. he leaned in, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. the simple gesture was filled with warmth and affection, sending a rush of emotions through you.

“good night,” he whispered, his lips lingering for a moment before he pulled away. you watched him walk off into the night, your heart fluttering in your chest. the evening had been unexpected, a whirlwind of emotions and connections that left you feeling both exhilarated and introspective. as you turned to enter your home, you couldn’t help but smile, the memory of his kiss still warm on your skin.

the morning sun filtered through the trees as you walked to your campus with jihyo. the campus was beginning to stir with activity, the hustle of students preparing for the day ahead. the air was filled with the familiar sounds of footsteps, chatter, and the distant hum of city life. jihyo made sure to get a headstart, indulging in her morning vape, the sweet aroma curling around you as you walked side by side. she passed the vape to you, and you took a slow drag, savoring the fleeting tranquility before the day's demands took over. you exhaled, the vapor mingling with the crisp morning air.

as you continued your walk, you recounted the events of the previous night, your voice animated as you described jungkook’s unexpected kindness and the enjoyable evening you had shared. she listened intently, though her expression remained skeptical, her brows furrowing in concern. “and then,” you finished, handing the vape back to her, “he walked me home and gave me a kiss on the forehead. it was really sweet.”

she took a long drag, her eyes narrowing slightly. “it sounds like you had a nice time, but—” she exhaled a cloud of vapor, “—you’re playing with fire, you know that?” you raised an eyebrow, a hint of defensiveness creeping into your voice. “come on, ji. you’re being way too judgmental. he's not like that, he's different.”

she gave you a skeptical look, shaking her head. “i’m just saying, be careful. you don’t know him that well yet.”

you were about to respond when you both froze mid-step. your gaze followed jihyo’s, and you saw him up ahead on the sidewalk. your heart skipped a beat, but this time, he wasn’t alone. he was walking with another girl, his arm draped casually around her shoulders. they seemed at ease with each other, sharing an intimate, comfortable closeness. jihyo glanced at you, her expression a mixture of sympathy and concern. “well,” she said softly, “i guess i wasn’t wrong.”

you stood there, feeling the weight of her words. the sight of jungkook with someone else was a jarring contrast to the warmth you had felt the previous night. it was as if the bubble of the evening’s enchantment had burst, leaving you to confront a reality that you had momentarily ignored.

the girl beside jungkook looked at him with a smile, and he responded with a tender gaze. it was a simple, yet intimate exchange that spoke volumes. the contrast between last night’s connection and this morning’s reality was stark, and you felt a pang of disappointment. jihyo’s hand rested gently on your shoulder, her voice comforting. “i'm sorry, i didn’t mean to rub it in. i just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

you nodded, feeling a lump in your throat. “i know. it’s just, i thought there was something real there. maybe i was wrong.” jihyo sighed, taking another drag from her vape. “you weren’t wrong to feel what you felt, just be cautious. sometimes people aren’t as straightforward as they seem.”

you watched as jungkook and the girl walked further down the street, their figures eventually disappearing from view. the sight had left you feeling unsettled, a mix of emotions swirling inside you. the confidence you had felt the night before now seemed fragile, overshadowed by the uncertainty of this new revelation.

as you and jihyo resumed your walk, the campus loomed ahead, its familiar buildings a reminder of the routine and responsibilities awaiting you. the conversation shifted to other topics, but the weight of the morning’s encounter lingered, a reminder that even fleeting connections could carry unexpected complexities. you couldn’t help but reflect on his words about freedom and butterflies, wondering how they fit into this new, unsettling reality. the morning had started with promise but had given way to a reality that was less clear-cut, leaving you to navigate the delicate balance between hope and caution.

the studio was a sanctuary of focused energy and creative chaos. you found solace in the rhythm of your hands working the clay, shaping it with deliberate precision. each stroke was a meditative practice, allowing you to channel your thoughts and emotions into the art before you. jihyo, her boyfriend, and his sister had settled nearby. minho was absorbed in his own project, while jihyo and minyoung chatted softly, their voices a comforting background hum. the three of them had a natural camaraderie that brought a sense of ease to the studio. minyoung’s laughter rang out occasionally, a bright and cheerful sound that contrasted with the solemnity of your own concentration.

as you sculpted, your thoughts drifted back to jungkook. the image of him walking with another girl played over in your mind, like a record stuck on repeat. the warmth of last night seemed distant now, replaced by the chill of reality. you tried to push the thoughts aside, focusing instead on the form taking shape in your hands. minyoung’s voice broke through your reverie. “hey, we’re planning to head over to ji’s place tonight for a little get-together. we’re gonna have some drinks and hang out with a few friends from campus. you should come.”

you looked up, momentarily distracted from your work. “that sounds fun,” you said, though your voice betrayed a hint of reluctance. the idea of socializing was appealing, but the thought of seeing jungkook again—especially in a group setting—left you feeling unsettled. jihyo noticed your hesitation and gave you a reassuring smile. “come on, it’ll be good for you. you’ve had a rough couple of days. a change of scenery might help you feel better.”

uou nodded, forcing a smile. “yeah, i guess you’re right. i’ll come.” minyoung’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. “great! it’ll be nice to hang out and unwind. we’re all looking forward to it.”

as the conversation shifted back to other topics, you tried to immerse yourself in the rhythm of sculpting once more. the tactile sensation of the clay beneath your fingers was grounding, a small comfort amidst the whirlwind of emotions. despite your efforts, your mind kept returning to Jungkook. the casual intimacy you had witnessed, the way he had interacted with the girl—every detail seemed to replay itself in your thoughts. jihyo and minho were absorbed in their conversation with minyoung, their voices a blend of excitement and lightheartedness. Occasionally, jihyo would glance over at you, her expression a mix of concern and encouragement. her presence was a reminder of the friendship and support you had, even when things felt uncertain.

the minutes ticked by as you worked, the sculpting process a meditative balm for your frayed nerves. each detail you added to your piece was a small victory, a way to reclaim a sense of control amidst the emotional turbulence. when the end of the class approached, you felt a mixture of relief and anticipation. the prospect of the evening’s gathering offered a potential escape from the weight of your thoughts, a chance to immerse yourself in the company of friends and let the worries of the past few days drift away.

jihyo and minho packed up their things, and you followed suit, feeling a sense of camaraderie as you prepared to leave the studio. minyoung chatted animatedly about the evening’s plans, her enthusiasm infectious despite the lingering doubts in your mind. as you walked out of the studio and headed toward the campus exit, jihyo fell into step beside you. her presence was comforting, a reminder of the support you had. “remember,” she said softly, “tonight’s about relaxing and having a good time. don’t let your worries overshadow it.”

you nodded, taking a deep breath as you stepped into the vibrant energy of the campus. the evening ahead held the promise of distraction and connection, a chance to shift your focus and enjoy the company of friends. as you walked alongside jihyo and minho, you tried to embrace the hope that tonight might bring a welcome reprieve from the storm of emotions you had been navigating. the sun began its descent, casting long shadows across the campus as you made your way to her place. with each step, you hoped for a sense of relief and a chance to momentarily escape the complexities of your thoughts.

the evening's promise of relief and distraction dissolved like smoke as you stepped into jihyo’s house. the warmth and laughter that greeted you were abruptly overshadowed by the sight of jungkook among the group of people already there. the room was buzzing with energy, the clinking of bottles and the murmur of conversation filling the air.

jihyo’s cheerful greeting faltered as her gaze locked onto jungkook. she snapped her neck to minho, a look of surprise and irritation crossing her face. “i didn’t know you’d invited jungkook too,” she said, her voice carrying a sharp edge. minho raised his hands defensively, a sheepish grin on his face. “i had no idea there was tension. i thought it’d be a nice surprise.”

you stood there, frozen in the doorway, feeling a chill seep into the warmth of the room. jungkook’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, there was a silent acknowledgment of the situation. his smile faltered slightly when he noticed your lack of reciprocation, the tension between you palpable.

jihyo guided you into the room, her demeanor shifting to one of concern. whe led you to a circle on the floor where the others were already settling in. minho produced bottles of soju, his enthusiasm for the evening evident as he set them down and suggested starting a drinking game. the game began with a lively energy. the group’s laughter and teasing filled the space, but you found it difficult to engage. as the rounds progressed, the questions and challenges became increasingly daring. mina, one of the other girls, challenged jihyo to either take her top off or drink. just as she was about to comply, minho interjected, suggesting she down an entire bottle instead. the room erupted in laughter, a sound that felt distant and hollow to you.

jungkook’s gaze remained fixed on you, his eyes searching for a reaction. you met his gaze briefly, your own expression unyielding. the game continued around you, the atmosphere growing more frenetic and less comfortable.

jihyo’s eyes sparkled with a new idea as she turned to him, her voice carrying a playful tone. “jungkook, your turn. kiss the prettiest girl in the room or take a drink.” the challenge seemed to electrify the room. his eyes flickered to you once more, his expression a mix of resolve and anticipation. he reached for the bottle of soju, his fingers brushing its neck, before setting it down with a decisive motion. without hesitation, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours.

the room erupted in cheers, the sound washing over you in a wave of unwanted attention. jungkook pulled away, his smile radiant and expectant, but you remained unmoved. your eyes were cool, indifferent. the kiss, meant to be playful or provocative, felt hollow and forced. the jubilation of the room contrasted sharply with your own feelings. you took a swig from the soju bottle, the liquid burning as it went down. the alcohol did little to numb the sting of the evening’s events. with a heavy sigh, you excused yourself from the circle and walked toward the door.

as you stepped outside, the cool night air greeted you with a sharp, refreshing clarity. the sky above was dotted with stars, a serene contrast to the chaos you had just left behind. you fumbled with your cigarette box, fingers trembling slightly as you retrieved a cigarette. with a practiced motion, you lit it and inhaled deeply, the smoke curling around you in a calming haze. the solitude of the outdoor space provided a temporary refuge from the din inside. uou leaned against the wall, the cigarette between your fingers a small anchor in the storm of your thoughts. the kiss from jungkook had left you unsettled, and the evening’s veneer of camaraderie had revealed a deeper undercurrent of discomfort and disconnection.

as you stood there, lost in thought, the distant sounds of laughter and music from the party inside seemed faint and distant. the cool breeze carried away the heat of the moment, leaving you with a sense of clarity and resolve. you had come seeking relief, but instead had confronted a reality that was as complex and unpredictable as ever. the cigarette burned down slowly, the embers glowing softly in the night. you finished it with a deep, contemplative drag, savoring the quiet before re-entering the fray of the evening. with a final exhale, you flicked the spent cigarette away and prepared to face whatever the rest of the night might hold.

the night air had a crisp bite to it, a contrast to the clamor of the party inside. you were about to step back into the house, hoping to reclaim some semblance of normalcy, when a shadow fell across your path. you looked up, only to find jungkook standing there, his presence as sudden as it was unexpected.

he leaned down slightly, his gaze fixed on you with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. his smile was disarming, and his voice carried a playful tone as he spoke. “why’ve you been so cold to me?” he asked, his eyes glinting in the dim light.

you scoffed, the earlier tension bubbling back to the surface. “why don’t you ask your friend from this morning?” you shot back, unable to keep the edge from your voice.

his laughter was soft and warm, cutting through the chill of the night. “soel? oh, she’s just a friend. nothing more,” he said, dismissing your concern with a wave of his hand. his words caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily stunned and silent. the embarrassment of your earlier jealousy washed over you like a tide, coloring your cheeks with a faint blush. he seemed to sense your discomfort and offered a reassuring smile. “don’t worry about it,” he said, his voice gentle. “jealousy looks good on you, by the way.”

your heart skipped a beat at his comment, a flush of heat spreading across your face. the candidness of his words, combined with the intensity of his gaze, made it difficult to maintain your composure. flustered, you looked away, struggling to regain your equilibrium. before you could fully gather yourself, his presence at your side felt oddly comforting. he matched your pace as you turned back toward the house, trailing behind you with a casual, easy stride. the sound of the party inside grew louder as you approached the door, the energy of the gathering spilling out into the hallway.

the night’s revelry had left you intoxicated and unsteady on your feet. the laughter and music from downstairs seemed to blend into a distant hum as you made your way up to jihyo’s room. the stairwell wobbled slightly under your steps, each ascent feeling like an effort as you navigated the dizzying effects of the evening’s drinks. when you finally reached her room, you stumbled through the door and collapsed onto her bed. the room was dimly lit, the soft glow of a bedside lamp casting a gentle light across the space. the bed felt like a comforting refuge as you sank into its embrace, your head spinning pleasantly from the alcohol.

as you rested, the door creaked open, and you heard the shuffling of footsteps approaching. your hazy vision slowly made out jungkook’s figure as he stumbled into the room, equally inebriated but with a purposeful gait. he looked around, his eyes finally landing on you with a mix of concern and amusement.

“what are you doing here?” you managed to ask, your voice a bit slurred. the question hung in the air, mingling with the scent of alcohol and the faint scent of perfume. his smile was lopsided, his gaze soft as he settled down on the bed beside you. “i came to check on you,” he said, his voice carrying a soothing warmth that contrasted with the cool night air.

your heart fluttered at his words, a sensation that felt both thrilling and disorienting. as he sat next to you, his presence was comforting and reassuring, an anchor amidst the swirl of emotions you were feeling. he looked at you with a gentle smile, his eyes lingering on your flushed cheeks and disheveled appearance.

“you’re just as pretty drunk as you are sober,” he said, his tone affectionate and teasing. the compliment made you blush deeper, and you instinctively raised your hands to cover your face. “my makeup must be a mess,” you mumbled, feeling a mix of embarrassment and vulnerability. jungkook shook his head with a soft chuckle, his movements deliberate and careful. “makeup is just art, and you can't mess up art,” he said, his voice tender as he leaned in closer. his face was inches from yours, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours. his fingers gently traced the lines of your face, his touch light as he began to wipe away the smudges of makeup from under your eyes.

the intimacy of the moment seemed to stretch and contract, a space filled with a growing anticipation. jungkook’s gaze held yours, his eyes reflecting a depth of emotion that matched the softness of his touch. the distance between you closed, the world outside the room fading into insignificance.

when his lips finally met yours, the kiss was hot and heavy, a potent mix of desire and need. it was a kiss that spoke volumes, expressing the unspoken feelings and the intoxicated passion that had been simmering beneath the surface. his lips moved against yours with an intensity that made your heart race, the kiss deepening with every passing second.

as the kiss deepened, the rest of the world seemed to dissolve into a blur. the music from downstairs, the laughter, the people—it all became a distant echo compared to the closeness of his embrace. the kiss was a shared moment of escape, a brief interlude where nothing else mattered but the connection between you and him. “if we continue,” he murmured, his hot breath grazing your lips. “i won't be able to stop myself.”

his eyes searched yours for consent, and even though you were tipsy, you knew exactly what you were doing. with a nod, you let yourself indulge in it, the anticipation building with every step. the room was dimly lit, with the occasional flicker from the candle casting shadows on the walls. the smell of the candle, something sweet and exotic, filled the air, mixing with the faint scent of his cologne. jungkook closed the door behind you, and in that instant, the outside world was forgotten.

once on the bed, your bodies became a tangled mess of limbs and passion. his hands were everywhere, tracing the lines of your body with a hunger that was almost desperate. you felt his tattoo flutter against your neck as he kissed along your collarbone, sending a shiver down your spine. you pulled at his shirt, eager to feel his bare skin against yours. the fabric gave way, revealing his toned abs and the tattoo that was inked into the flesh at the base of his neck—a delicate monarch, its wings unfurling in an intricate dance.

his mouth found yours again, and the kiss grew more urgent. your hands fumbled with the buttons of his pants, and he groaned when you finally slipped your hand inside, wrapping your fingers around his hard length. he reciprocated, tugging at the hem of your dress, eager to explore what lay beneath. as the fabric was pushed aside, his eyes widened at the sight of your lacy underwear. “fuck,” he murmured, his eyes darkening with desire. “so fucking dirty.”

his words were a heady mix of praise and demand, sending a rush of heat to your core. your heart pounded in your chest as he pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in nothing but your bra and panties. the coolness of the room hit your skin, making your nipples pebble with excitement. his eyes roamed over you, and you felt exposed, but in the best way possible. his hands followed the path of his gaze, cupping your tits and gently rolling your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. a soft moan escaped your lips, and he took it as an invitation to lean in and suck one into his mouth. the sensation was electric, and you arched your back, pressing yourself closer to him.

his hands moved down to the waistband of your underwear, and with a quick motion, he slid them down your legs. you felt a moment of vulnerability, but it was quickly overshadowed by the desire coursing through your veins. jungkook kissed along your stomach, making his way down to the apex of your thighs. his tongue flicked out, teasing your clit, and you gripped the bed sheets tightly. “oh, god,” you breathed, your voice a desperate whisper.

his eyes never left yours as he positioned himself over you, his own pants discarded on the floor. he reached into the nightstand and pulled out a condom, ripping it open with his teeth before rolling it on. even in the dim light, you could see the intensity in his gaze, the raw need that mirrored your own. “are you sure?” he asked, his voice gruff with lust.

you nodded, and it was all he yearned for as he entered you. the feeling was overwhelming, a perfect mix of pleasure and pain that had you gasping. he paused, giving you a moment to adjust before he began to move. his thrusts were deep and slow at first, his eyes never leaving yours as he whispered filthy words in your ear, urging you to let go.

you did, moaning his name as you wrapped your legs around his waist. your hands dug into his back, and you could feel the tension in his muscles as he moved. your bodies fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces that had been searching for their match. the bed rocked gently under you, the rhythmic sound mixing with your ragged breaths and the slap of skin on skin.

you lost track of time as you both chased the high of climax. his dirty talk grew more intense, and your responses grew louder. it was a dance of dominance and submission, each of you pushing the other closer to the edge. when you finally reached it, your body convulsed around him, and you called out his name like a prayer. jungkook followed shortly after, his dick twitching as if it was his first time.

the morning light filtered through the curtains with a muted glow, casting a soft, hazy light across jihyo’s room. you stirred from sleep, the warmth of the bed a stark contrast to the chill of the previous night. as you slowly regained consciousness, your eyes fell upon the scene beside you. jungkook laid there, his presence so close that you could feel his breath against your skin. the shocking realization hit you as you took in the sight of him naked beside you.

panic surged through you as fragmented memories of the night before flickered in your mind. the kiss, the heat, the intensity—all of it came crashing back. the vividness of those moments left you feeling both disoriented and mortified. with trembling hands, you scrambled to gather your clothes, hastily dressing as you tried to make sense of the chaos.

in a frantic rush, you stumbled out of the room and down the stairs, your heart pounding in your chest. the house was still quiet, save for the soft murmurs of the early morning. wgen you reached the bottom, you were met with jihyo’s intense gaze. her expression was a mixture of concern and exasperation, a look that made you feel like you were about to face her wrath. “i could strangle you right now,” she said, her voice sharp and laced with an underlying tension. the threat in her words was softened only by the lack of her morning smoke, a ritual she hadn’t yet indulged in. you stood there, feeling a knot of fear tighten in your stomach. the scolding began, a tirade of reprimands that blended into a blur of guilt and embarrassment.

the weight of your actions pressed heavily upon you, and though you tried to focus on her words, your mind was elsewhere. the guilt of the night before, the uncertainty of what you had done, and the unanticipated consequences all swirled together in a disorienting mix. during class, her scolding continued, her frustration evident. you sat there, trying to stay composed as the minutes ticked by. the lecture on art and technique seemed distant, a backdrop to the internal turmoil you were experiencing. it was only when a familiar face appeared that you were jolted from your reverie.

the girl who had been with jungkook the previous morning walked in and took a seat with you and jihyo. she greeted you with a polite smile, and as she settled in, she mentioned needing help with her sculpture. you gave her your notes, watching her as she began to work with the clay, your mind still reeling from the events of the night. as she sculpted, your gaze inadvertently fell to her wrist. there, clearly visible, was a drawing of a monarch butterfly.

the sight of it sent a jolt through you, your stomach twisting in a sickening churn. the connection hit you like a physical blow, and the room seemed to spin around you. you were frozen, unable to tear your eyes away from the drawing that mirrored the one jungkook had drawn on you. unable to stay any longer, you excused yourself, the rush of emotions and physical discomfort becoming too overwhelming to ignore. you hurried to the bathroom, the need to escape the situation pressing heavily on you. once inside, you leaned over the sink and, overwhelmed by a combination of betrayal, hangover, and emotional turmoil, you began to vomit. each heave felt like it was ripping something deeper inside of you, the physical pain amplifying the emotional distress.

as you clung to the sink, the cool porcelain against your forehead offering a small comfort, you were consumed by a storm of conflicting feelings. the events of the night had left their mark, and now, the stark reality of the situation was unfolding with cruel clarity. as you stepped out of the bathroom, the heaviness in your chest felt almost tangible. the earlier discomfort was still fresh, and you were hoping for a moment of peace. instead, the moment you emerged, you heard a voice calling for you. you turned, only to see jungkook walking towards you with a grin that seemed far too bright given the situation.

“running out without a goodbye kiss? that’s pure evil,” he said, his tone light and teasing. but as you met his gaze, you saw no trace of irony or humor—just a genuine, unfaltering smile that made your stomach churn once again.

you forced yourself to look him in the eyes, trying to steady your emotions. “i just talked to soel,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “she has a butterfly tattoo on her wrist. the same one you drew on me.”

jungkook’s smile didn’t falter. Instead, he seemed unfazed by your revelation. “oh, that? i draw that on all my friends,” he said nonchalantly. “why does it bug you?”

the casualness of his response left you reeling. you stared at him, feeling a cold wave of betrayal wash over you. “is that what i am to you? just a friend?” his reaction was almost mechanical. “yeah,” he said, shrugging slightly. “is that an issue for you?”

the simple, matter-of-fact way he spoke was like a punch to the gut. you were stunned, the weight of his words crashing down on you like a tidal wave. the realization that you had misinterpreted his intentions, that your emotions had been tangled in a misunderstanding, left you feeling hollow. without another word, you turned away, your heart racing and your mind clouded with a storm of betrayal and shock. you walked briskly, your steps echoing with a sense of finality as you left jungkook behind. the turmoil inside you was a jumbled mess, each step away from him only amplifying the confusion and hurt.

the campus was bustling with the usual midday energy as you joined jihyo, minho, and minyoung for lunch. you sat down at the table with them, the usual chatter and laughter around you feeling like a distant echo. as they talked animatedly about their day, you remained silent, the weight of the morning’s events heavy on your shoulders.

minho finally broke through the silence, noticing the way you said nothing. “what’s wrong?” he asked, his tone gentle but concerned. the question was like a dam breaking. you tried to hold back the tears, but the effort proved futile. they spilled over, each drop a mix of frustration, sadness, and disappointment. the raw emotion that had been building up inside you was finally released, and you found yourself unable to stop the flood.

through your tears, you recounted the events of the night before—the drunken mistake, the disheartening conversation with jungkook, and the sting of betrayal. your voice trembled with each word, the hurt and confusion palpable as you shared your story.

as you spoke, you could see the shock and horror on their faces. minho’s eyes widened with disbelief, and minyoung’s expression turned to one of sympathy. but it was jihyo’s reaction that truly struck you. her face darkened with anger, and her eyes blazed with a fierce resolve. “might actually fucking kill him,” she said with a steely determination, her words delivered in a low, dangerous tone. the promise was almost soothing in its intensity, a sign of her fierce loyalty and anger on your behalf.

you shook your head, feeling a fresh wave of guilt wash over you. “no, don’t,” you managed to say between sobs. “it’s my fault. i was too trusting. i should have seen it coming.”

her expression softened as she reached out to you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “don’t blame yourself,” she said firmly. “you didn’t do anything wrong. he’s the one who failed you. focus on yourself and your work. you deserve better than this.” but despite her reassurances, you found it difficult to shift your focus. jungkook’s smile, the way he had looked at you, the crushing realization of his indifference—all of it was still vividly etched in your mind. the pain of the betrayal felt like a persistent ache, a constant reminder of your misplaced trust and the emotional turmoil it had caused.

as lunch continued, you struggled to engage in the conversation. your mind kept drifting back to him, replaying the moments and words that had shattered your sense of stability. the comfort of jihyo’s words was overshadowed by the persistent sting of your own emotions. the rest of the afternoon passed in a blur, the echoes of your thoughts louder than any external noise. the distraction of the campus environment did little to ease your turmoil, and the weight of your feelings continued to anchor you in a state of unresolved pain.

in the solitude of the studio, the air was heavy with the smell of clay and the faint traces of your exhaustion. the sculpture in front of you was nearly complete, a painstakingly crafted representation of a woman’s head—her expression a haunting blend of serenity and despair. the piece symbolized a submission to love that consumed and overwhelmed. her eyes were hollowed out, the sockets deep and dark, conveying an intense and tragic devotion. the gouged-out eyes were not merely a detail; they were the very essence of her surrender, the ultimate sacrifice for the one she loved.

your hands trembled slightly as you made the final adjustments, the weight of your own emotions interwoven with the piece. you took a step back to admire your work, your heart heavy with the sense of completion mingled with the burden of what it represented. the sculpture was a mirror to your own turbulent feelings, capturing the essence of devotion and its potential for destruction.

the quiet of the studio was suddenly disrupted by a voice behind you. “where are her eyes?” jungkook asked, his tone inquisitive yet casual. you stiffened, momentarily frozen by the intrusion. your gaze remained fixed on the sculpture, trying to compose yourself. “she gouged her eyes out,” you said softly, your voice carrying the weight of the sculpture’s meaning. “simply because her lover wanted her to. she would do anything for him.”

jungkook’s footsteps approached, and you felt him come closer, his presence a palpable force in the room. he stood behind you, his gaze fixed on the sculpture as he admired your work. “it’s a beautiful piece,” he said, his voice sincere but carrying an undercurrent of something else.

you kept your back to him, your attention focused on the sculpture, trying to ignore the effect his presence had on you. but then, you felt him press closer, his body nearly touching your back. he leaned in, his breath warm and tickling your ear as he gently pushed aside your hair. “are you mad at me?” he asked, his voice a low whisper. you struggled to maintain your composure, the tension between you palpable. “i have no reason to be,” you replied, though your voice betrayed a hint of uncertainty.

you felt him smirk against your skin, the touch of his lips sending shivers down your spine. his kisses, light and teasing, trailed down your neck, each touch intensifying your internal conflict. “we shouldn’t be doing this,” you murmured, your voice wavering. his breath was hot against your ear as he replied, “that’s what makes it so fun.”

your resistance wavered as he continued to kiss your neck, the pleasure mingling with your sense of guilt and confusion. You knew it was wrong, yet the allure of the moment was powerful. finally, you turned around to face him, the decision made despite your inner turmoil. you allowed him to kiss you, the contact both electrifying and disorienting.

the kiss was intense, a clash of emotions and desires that left you breathless. jungkook’s touch was both familiar and foreign, a reminder of the complications that had arisen between you. as you surrendered to the kiss, the studio’s quiet solitude seemed to collapse around you, leaving only the swirling mixture of passion and regret. in the midst of the embrace, the sculpture remained a silent witness, its hollow eyes a stark reminder of the emotional sacrifice and the consuming nature of love. the art piece and the reality of your feelings intertwined, creating a poignant reflection of the complicated interplay between desire and devotion.

his hands found their way to your waist, his grip firm as he pulled you closer to him. you felt his arousal pressing against you, and despite your inner reservations, your body responded instinctively. the attraction was undeniable, a magnetic force that seemed to have a will of its own. his kiss grew deeper, more demanding, as his hands began to explore your body. your own hands roamed over his chest, feeling the muscles tighten beneath your touch. the fabric of your clothes felt like a barrier to the connection you both craved, and without a word, jungkook began to remove them. the anticipation grew as each layer fell away, revealing your skin to the cool studio air.

you found yourself bent over the sculpting table, jungkook’s hands tracing your spine, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. he whispered dirty words into your ear, his voice thick with desire, and you felt your knees wobble. the reality of the situation washed over you—the illicitness of it, the raw need you felt for each other—and you realized that this was what you had been craving, despite the guilt.

his fingers dipped lower, finding the wetness between your legs, and you gasped into his mouth. jungkook’s touch grew more insistent, and the sculpture beneath your palms seemed to pulse with the rhythm of your heart. you were no longer the artist—you were the art, being shaped and molded by his desires.

his hand slid away, and you heard the sound of his belt buckle. your heart raced as he positioned himself behind you, the tip of his erection teasing your entrance. “are you sure?” you managed to ask, the tremor in your voice betraying your nerves. “do you want me?” he replied, his voice a challenge. your body answered for you, arching back, begging for him to fill you. and with one powerful thrust, he did.

the sensation was overwhelming—his bare skin against yours, the heat of his body surrounding you. his grip tightened on your hips as he began to move, the rhythm punctuated by your moans and the slap of skin against skin. the intensity grew with each stroke, the pleasure a wildfire that consumed every rational thought. you could feel his breath on your neck, his voice a gruff whisper of praise and desire. your eyes closed, and the sculpture, the studio, the world outside—it all faded away, leaving only the two of you and the primal dance of your bodies.

his thrusts grew harder, deeper, as he claimed you from behind. the sculpture was forgotten, a symbol of a love that was now a tangible reality in the form of this explosive union. you reached back, your hand finding the base of his cock, and you felt his body tense with pleasure. the air was thick with passion, the scent of sex and clay a heady mix that intoxicated you both. jungkook’s movements grew erratic, and you knew he was close. with one final, powerful push, he reached his climax, his warmth filling you as he groaned your name.

you collapsed onto the table, spent and trembling, as jungkook leaned over you, his breath ragged. for a moment, there was only silence, the two of you trying to find your bearings in the aftermath of the storm.

but the quiet was broken by the sudden sound of the studio door opening, and you both froze. your eyes widened with panic, and jungkook’s grip on you tightened. “we can’t get caught,” you whispered, your heart racing with fear and excitement. he smirked, his eyes dark with mischief. “we won’t,” he assured you, his voice low and seductive. “not until we’re finished, anyway.” the tension grew as the footsteps grew louder, and jungkook began to move again, slower this time, his strokes long and deliberate. the game of hiding in plain sight was thrilling, a dangerous edge to the passion that had overtaken you both.

the newcomer to the studio called out a greeting, and his hand covered your mouth, muffling any sound you might make. you bit down on your lip, stifling a moan, as he continued to fuck you with an urgent need that seemed to defy the danger of being discovered. your heart hammered in your chest, the thrill of the forbidden mixing with the fear of being caught.

his movements grew more deliberate, his hips grinding into yours with a silent rhythm that matched the beat of your racing pulse. you could feel the eyes of the sculpture on you, the hollow sockets seeming to judge you even as you writhed in pleasure beneath his touch. the footsteps grew closer, and his grip tightened. he leaned in, his teeth grazing your ear as he whispered, “be quiet, baby. come for me.” the words sent a jolt of electricity through your body, and you did as he asked, your orgasm building like a crescendo.

just as the person entered the room, you reached the peak, your body convulsing around jungkook’s cock. he groaned softly, the sound vibrating against your neck, and you clamped down on his hand to keep from crying out. the wave of pleasure washed over you, leaving you trembling and exposed. his strokes grew shallower, his cock still hard and pulsing inside you. the footsteps stopped just outside the partition that separated the main studio from your makeshift private corner. the tension was unbearable, a tight coil of excitement and fear that made every nerve ending in your body feel alive.

his eyes locked with yours, and you saw the challenge in them. you knew he was enjoying this as much as he enjoyed the sex itself—the risk, the danger, the thrill of the secret. your breathing was ragged, your body still quaking from the orgasm that had torn through you, and yet you remained silent, waiting. the person in the room spoke, their voice muffled by the wall of clay that separated you. jungkook’s thrusts grew more gentle now, almost tender, as he slowly pulled out of you. you felt the warmth of his seed inside you, a stark reminder of what had just happened.

you both waited, your breaths syncing as the footsteps grew fainter, moving away from your hiding spot. once the room was empty again, jungkook leaned down to kiss you, his lips brushing yours with a softness that seemed at odds with the ferocity of your encounter. “see?” he murmured, his voice a low purr. “no one will ever know our little secret.”

you pushed him away gently, sitting up and adjusting your clothes. your mind was racing, a whirlwind of emotions—shame, exhilaration, fear of being found out. but there was also something else, a dark satisfaction that seemed to hum in the air.

the sculpture loomed before you, the woman’s expression now a reflection of your own complex feelings. jungkook pulled on his shirt, his eyes never leaving yours. “we can’t do this again,” you said, the finality in your voice unmistakable. but as he zipped up his pants, the smug smile on his face told you that he didn’t believe you. and deep down, neither did you. the line had been crossed, and the taste of the forbidden was too sweet to ignore.

his eyes held a promise of more to come, and despite yourself, you felt your body respond. the next chapter of this illicit story was already being written, the plot thickening with every shared glance and stolen touch. and you knew that no matter how much you tried to resist, you would be drawn back into the tumultuous dance of desire and deceit that was your relationship with him.

as jungkook stepped out of the studio, his silhouette fading into the dim light of the hallway, you were left alone with the echo of his departure. you hastily pulled your clothes back on, your hands trembling uncontrollably. each movement was a struggle against the storm of emotions raging inside you.

the studio, once a sanctuary of creation, now felt like a cage closing in around you. the quiet was oppressive, amplifying the shattering of your composure. you fought to hold back the tears, but the effort proved futile. they began to fall, each drop a release of the turmoil you had been trying to suppress. you sank to the floor, your body trembling with the force of your sobs. the statue stood before you, its eyeless gaze a haunting reflection of your own despair. the sculpture, a representation of sacrifice and devotion, seemed to mock you now. its hollow eyes, gouged out as a symbol of surrender, mirrored the emptiness and heartbreak you felt inside.

unable to bear the sight, you were overcome by a furious, anguished energy. the intensity of your emotions erupted uncontrollably. you launched yourself at the statue, your hands and feet flailing as you knocked it over. the crash of clay against the floor was loud, a jarring sound that matched the violence of your grief. you kicked at the broken pieces, the fragments scattering across the studio floor. the destruction was cathartic yet devastating, a physical manifestation of the chaos within you. as the statue lay shattered, the pieces symbolized the fragmented state of your heart. each kick was a release, each broken shard a representation of your pain.

exhausted and overwhelmed, you slid down against the wall, the tears still flowing freely. the destruction of the sculpture had not lessened the weight of your sorrow. instead, it left you staring at the remnants, the once-beautiful work now reduced to a broken mess. you continued to cry, your body wracked with sobs as you gazed at the ruined statue. the eyeless gaze of the sculpture, now in fragments, seemed to reach out to you in a final, tragic understanding. the intense emotion of the piece was mirrored in your own shattered state. the studio, with its scattered pieces and your anguished cries, was a poignant testament to the overwhelming pain and anger you felt.

the contrast between the beauty of the sculpture and the violence of its destruction spoke to the raw intensity of your emotions. the studio, once a space of artistic expression, had become a stage for your most profound heartache. as you wept, the remnants of the statue lay around you, a somber reminder of the intricate connection between art, love, and the devastating effects of betrayal. in the end, as your sobs quieted and you sat amidst the broken pieces, the sight of the ruined sculpture served as a haunting reflection of your own emotional wreckage. the tears continued to fall, mingling with the clay fragments, a final, tragic testament to the depth of your despair.

as you gathered your belongings, the weight of the night’s events clung heavily to your shoulders. the studio, once a place of solace and creativity, now felt like a space of ruin and disillusionment. your hands moved mechanically, shoving your scattered materials into your bag. each motion was devoid of purpose, driven by a numbing emptiness rather than intent.

the soft sounds of your packing were abruptly interrupted by distant noises—low grunts and muffled groans—emanating from the studio down the hall. the sounds were raw and unsettling, a contrast to the quiet destruction you had left behind. your curiosity and dread compelled you to investigate, despite the turmoil within you.

you approached the door to the neighboring studio, its glass panel offering a distorted view into the dimly lit room. peering through, your heart sank as you recognized the scene unfolding inside. jungkook was there, engaged with a girl you couldn’t identify. the sight of them, entwined in an intimate and brutal display, was a dagger to your already fragile heart.

the cold reality of the moment was a sharp contrast to the warmth you had briefly experienced with him. you were paralyzed, unable to tear your gaze away from the scene before you. each grunt and moan was a reminder of your own vulnerability and the painful contrast between the connection you had felt and the stark betrayal unfolding before you. the sight of him with another, the passion and disregard apparent in their movements, left you feeling hollow. you had no tears left to shed; the emotional reservoir had been drained dry by the night's turmoil. the image of their bodies, entwined and fervent, was seared into your mind—a brutal symbol of your own sense of abandonment and betrayal.

turning away from the glass, you felt an eerie emptiness consume you. the world seemed to blur as you walked down the hallway, your steps heavy and unsteady. your mind was a void, a blank slate where thoughts and emotions once swirled with intensity. the encounter had left you drained, each step echoing with the weight of your disillusionment.

the cold air of the hallway seemed to press against you, a stark reminder of the isolation you felt. as you made your way home, the world around you was a distant haze. the vibrant life of the campus and the remnants of your art—the shattered statue, the chaotic emotions—faded into the background, leaving only the crushing emptiness of your thoughts. each step felt like a journey through fog, the clarity of the night’s events slipping away with each movement. the betrayal, the emotional wreckage, and the raw intensity of the moments you had witnessed had left you numb. you walked forward, but within, you remained frozen—trapped in the silence of your own heartache.

the sun rose reluctantly on the campus the next day, its light casting a dull glow through the classroom windows. you stumbled into your class, exhausted and hollow-eyed from a night spent in sleepless turmoil. the world outside felt distant, its vibrancy lost to you as you trudged through the motions of daily life. your movements were mechanical as you took your place among the scattered students. the studio, once a sanctuary of creativity, now felt foreign and unwelcoming. the empty canvas in front of you was a glaring testament to your lack of inspiration. the urge to sculpt, to create, was absent, replaced by a void of emotional fatigue and despair.

jihyo tried her best to offer comfort. her words were gentle, her presence a constant reassurance in the face of your turmoil. despite her efforts, the pain within you remained insurmountable. her attempts to console you seemed to fall short of reaching the deep chasm of your heartache. the betrayal and the haunting images from the previous night left you adrift, unable to focus or find solace.

the professor’s voice broke through the haze of your thoughts, announcing a new student would be joining the class. you barely registered his words, your mind elsewhere, wandering through the fog of your sleepless night. it wasn’t until you heard the shuffle of footsteps and the murmur of surprise among your peers that you looked up.

your heart skipped a beat as you locked eyes with the new student. it was jackson. the same jackson who had once been a part of your world, now standing before you with a familiar, if unwelcome, presence. the shock of seeing him in this context, amid your already tumultuous emotions, was almost too much to bear. he met your gaze with an expression that was a mixture of apprehension and resolve. the smile he once wore with ease now seemed strained, an acknowledgment of the shared past that had ended in such distressing terms. the air in the room felt charged, the atmosphere thick with an unspoken tension. his arrival was a jarring reminder of old wounds, reopened with his unexpected reappearance.

you forced yourself to focus, trying to ignore the way your heart raced and the way your mind spun with fragmented memories of him. the professor introduced jackson, guiding him to a seat, and the room’s atmosphere shifted. the familiar face was a painful reminder of a time when things had been different, when trust and affection had colored your world.

jihyo, noticing the way your gaze lingered on him, placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. you offered her a weak smile, her concern evident in her eyes. yet, despite her support, the emotional storm inside you remained uncalm. you felt as though you were caught in the eye of a hurricane, where the calm was an illusion masking the chaos within.

as jackson settled into his new spot, you couldn't help but feel a pang of anxiety. the familiarity of his presence, combined with the unresolved issues from your past, created a sense of disquiet. you tried to refocus on your work, but the blank canvas before you was a stark reminder of the numbness that had consumed your creativity. the rest of the class droned on, his presence a silent but heavy weight in the room. every glance in his direction felt like a step back into a storm you had barely escaped. your hands remained idle, the sculpting tools untouched as you struggled to regain some semblance of normalcy.

the day dragged on, each minute a reminder of the fractured pieces of your recent past. as the bell finally rang, signaling the end of the class, you gathered your things with a sense of resignation. the encounter with him had been a jarring disruption, but it was also a harsh reminder that the echoes of past relationships often resurface when least expected. you walked out of the classroom, your mind still clouded with the weight of your emotions. the campus, with its usual bustle of activity, felt distant and surreal. the familiar paths and faces seemed altered, as though you were navigating through a dream that had turned unsettlingly real.

the day seemed to drag endlessly as you walked out of the classroom, feeling the heavy weight of jackson’s unexpected reappearance. the campus, once a place of refuge and creativity, now felt like a labyrinth of memories and unresolved emotions. you walked with a purpose, desperate to escape the lingering sense of disquiet that his presence had stirred within you.

as you moved through the crowded hallways, lost in your thoughts, a voice called out to you, breaking through the fog of your mind. you turned slowly, your heart skipping a beat as you saw hin standing a few steps away. his expression was earnest, eyes filled with a mix of regret and hope. for a moment, you felt paralyzed, caught between the urge to flee and the reluctant desire to hear him out.

jackson took a hesitant step towards you, his hand reaching out to gently grasp your wrist. the touch was light, almost pleading, and you could feel the warmth of his skin through your thin sleeve. his eyes were filled with an apologetic softness that seemed to convey a depth of remorse you hadn’t anticipated. “what are you doing here?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. you struggled to keep your emotions in check, the memory of the sculpture and the pain it had caused still fresh in your mind.

his gaze dropped to the floor for a moment before he looked up again, his eyes meeting yours with a sincere gravity. “i wanted to focus solely on my work,” he said, his voice laced with an honesty that was both surprising and unsettling. “it’s been difficult since you left. i lost my muse.”

the words struck you with a sharp edge, stirring a storm of conflicting emotions within you. the image of the sculpture, the public humiliation, and the way he had dismissed your feelings—all of it came rushing back. you remembered the pain and betrayal that had clouded your heart.

“you don’t get to just come back and pretend like everything’s fine,” you said, your voice trembling. “you can’t erase what you did.”

his face fell, and he took a deep breath before speaking. “i know,” he said quietly. “and I’m sorry. i had the sculpture removed. i understand that nothing will ever be the same. i just wanted to let you know that, if nothing else, i’d like to be your friend.”

his words were both unexpected and profound, offering a semblance of closure that you hadn’t anticipated. the notion of friendship, after everything that had transpired, felt both distant and comforting. you stood there, absorbing the gravity of his apology and the genuine regret that seemed to hang in the air between you. for a moment, the chaos inside you quieted, replaced by a fragile sense of peace. his offer of friendship was an olive branch, a gesture that acknowledged the hurt while striving for something different. yet, the wound was still fresh, and the idea of moving past it was daunting.

“i need time,” you said finally, your voice steady but tinged with a quiet resolve. “i can’t just pick up where we left off.” he nodded, his expression a blend of understanding and sadness. “i know,” he replied softly. “take all the time you need. i just wanted you to know i’m here if you ever want to talk.” with a final, lingering look, he turned and began to walk away. each step seemed to echo with the weight of the past and the uncertain promise of the future. you watched him go, your mind awash with a storm of emotions—anger, relief, and a bittersweet sense of closure. as you stood there alone in the corridor, the bustling noise of the campus seemed distant, as if you were enveloped in a cocoon of introspection. the conversation with jackson had stirred up old wounds, but had also offered a glimmer of resolution.

lunch on campus was always a comforting routine. the sun was high, casting dappled shadows through the leafy canopy above. you, jihyo, and minho had claimed your usual spot at a worn wooden table, the comforting hum of student chatter surrounding you. jihyo animatedly recounted her latest project, while minho nodded, occasionally chiming in with his dry wit. you were halfway through a bite of your sandwich when you saw him—jackson. he passed by with his characteristic easy grace, a slight smile playing on his lips as his eyes met yours. respectfully, he sat on a separate bench a few feet away, not wanting to intrude.

jihyo's eyes narrowed, her conversation with minho faltering as she followed your gaze. “why is he here?” she muttered, her voice barely audible but dripping with disdain. you stood up, your decision made in an instant. as you approached him, his smile faded slightly, replaced with a look of concern.

“is everything okay?” he asked, his voice soft, yet tinged with uncertainty. “come sit with us,” you replied, your tone gentle yet firm.

“are you sure?” his hesitation was palpable.

you nodded, offering him a reassuring smile. with a grateful nod, he followed you back to the table. minho raised an eyebrow in mild surprise, but it was jihyo's reaction that was most striking. her eyes widened, and she sat back, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.

“jackson, this is minho,” you introduced, and he gave a polite nod. “and this is jihyo.” jackson extended his hand to her, but she simply stared him down, her gaze icy. “she may have forgotten what you did, but i sure haven’t,” she said, her voice like steel.

he withdrew his hand slowly, nodding in acknowledgment. “i understand,” he replied softly. you placed a comforting hand on jihyo’s arm. “he came for a fresh start,” you explained, your voice calm and steady. “he even got the sculpture taken down.” jihyo’s skeptical glance lingered on him, but she didn’t press further. the tension in the air was almost tangible, but his presence gradually began to feel less intrusive.

he smiled at you, a look of genuine gratitude and perhaps a hint of hope in his eyes. you smiled back, feeling a sense of warmth and relief. the past might not be easily forgotten, but in that moment, it felt like a step towards something better, something new. as the conversation slowly resumed, you couldn’t help but feel that this lunch, under the sunlit canopy, marked the beginning of a significant change—a moment of reconciliation and new beginnings.

unbeknownst to you, a familiar figure stood in the background, having noticed your whole ordeal. jungkook, leaning casually against a nearby tree, had been chatting with his friends, their laughter mingling with the warm air. but his attention had been subtly drawn to you the moment jackson appeared. his dark eyes followed every movement, every gesture you made. the way you approached jackson with a calm demeanor, the soft reassurance in your voice, and the unyielding kindness in your eyes—it all piqued his curiosity. his friends were engrossed in a lively debate about the upcoming exhibition, but he found himself only half-listening, his mind occupied with the scene unfolding at your table.

he watched as you led jackson back, noticed the tension between him and jihyo, and observed the way you mediated with such grace. jungkook brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, trying to focus back on his friends' conversation. yet, the feeling tugging at his heartstrings was undeniable, a peculiar mix of curiosity and something he couldn’t quite identify.

the laughter of his friends brought him back to the present moment, and he forced a smile, joining in their conversation. but his eyes betrayed him, darting back to you occasionally. he noted the genuine smile you exchanged with jackson, a smile that seemed to light up your entire being. he couldn’t put his finger on it. was it admiration? perhaps a touch of jealousy? he shook his head, trying to dismiss the thoughts. after all, he had no reason to feel this way. you were just another girl, albeit a talented one, whose work he respected. yet, there was something in the way you handled the situation that stirred something deep within him.

back in the studio, the familiar scent of clay and the quiet hum of creativity enveloped you. the light filtering through the tall windows cast an ethereal glow on your workspace, illuminating the clay sculpture taking shape beneath your deft fingers. you shuddered, recalling the tumultuous scene you had caused, the emotional outburst that had led you to destroy your previous work of art.

determined to push back any thoughts of jungkook, you focused entirely on the clay before you. each movement was elegant, deliberate, as your hands moved with a grace born from years of practice. your mind, however, raced with a whirlwind of emotions—freedom, butterflies, liberty, independence. the sculpture was coming to life beneath your touch: an extended hand, its fingers gently curved, and a string of butterflies, delicate and intricate, laid one on top of the other. they seemed to be chasing the freedom they so desperately desired. yet, as you worked, their wings began to wither, the fragile clay starting to crumble under your touch. they had flown for so long, yearning for independence, before finally finding solace in the palm of a hand. it was a poignant realization—that the only thing they needed more than freedom was the touch of love.

you were so absorbed in your work that you barely noticed when jackson entered the studio. he said nothing, simply standing and watching you. his presence was quiet, respectful, and he observed as you caressed the butterflies, shaping each one with meticulous care. “it’s a beautiful piece,” he finally said, his voice soft, breaking the silence.

startled, you looked up, your eyes meeting his. you hadn’t realized he was there, so engrossed in your work. “jackson,” you breathed, your hands stilling. “i didn’t see you come in.”

he offered a gentle smile, stepping closer to the sculpture. “i didn’t want to disturb you. you looked so focused.” you glanced back at the sculpture, the extended hand and the fragile butterflies. “they’re chasing freedom,” you explained, your voice thoughtful. “but their wings are falling apart. they’ve been flying for so long, seeking independence, but they realize that what they need more than freedom is love.”

jackson studied the piece for a moment, nodding slowly. “you have a way of seeing the world, of expressing it through your art. i was wrong. you know art better than anyone.” his words were sincere, and they touched you deeply. you smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. as he reached out and brushed a strand of hair from your face, a tender gesture, it struck you—you knew art, its nuances, its depth. nevertheless, you didn't know love. that was a realm you had yet to truly understand.

the studio felt different now, not just a place of creation, but a space where emotions, complex and raw, intertwined with every sculpted form. and in that moment, with jackson's reassuring presence and the delicate clay butterflies, you realized there was more to learn, more to feel, beyond the confines of your art.

his eyes, warm and curious, met yours. “what has you so fascinated with butterflies?” he asked, his voice soft yet probing. you paused, your mind inevitably drifting back to jungkook. the memory of the monarch tattoo on the back of his neck was vivid, a symbol of his own desperate need to chase freedom. the thought made your blood run cold, a shiver running down your spine. you forced a smile, trying to push the unsettling thoughts away. “i admire them,” you said, your voice steady but distant. “they chase their own freedom, rather than love.”

his gaze softened, understanding flickering in his eyes. “everyone deserves love more than anything,” he replied gently. you said nothing, the words lingering in the air between you. the silence was filled with unspoken emotions, a depth of feeling that you couldn’t quite articulate. “especially you,” he added, his voice barely above a whisper.

the moment felt fragile, delicate like the butterflies you sculpted. before you could respond, the door to the studio swung open, and jihyo walked in, her presence breaking the intimate silence.

“hey, you two,” she called out, her tone light and cheerful. “the group's going out for drinks. you’re both welcome to join.” you hesitated, the weight of the day’s emotions still heavy on your shoulders. the idea of socializing felt overwhelming, but before you could decline, jackson spoke up.

“you deserve a break,” he said, his eyes meeting yours with a reassuring smile. “come on, it’ll be fun.” with a sigh, you nodded, feeling a mix of reluctance and gratitude. his encouragement gave you the push you needed. the prospect of stepping out of the studio, even for a short while, seemed like a small reprieve.

as you gathered your things, the studio’s comforting hum faded into the background. you cast one last look at your sculpture, the extended hand and the fragile butterflies, and felt a renewed sense of purpose. perhaps, amidst the chaos and the quest for freedom, there was room for love too. walking out with jackson and jihyo, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was shifting, a subtle change in the air. the evening stretched ahead of you, filled with possibilities, and for the first time in a while, you felt a glimmer of hope.

the walk to the bar was filled with a mixture of anticipation and unease. the streets were bathed in the soft glow of streetlights, casting long shadows that danced with each step you took. jihyo walked ahead, her laughter echoing down the empty street, while jackson stayed close by your side. as you approached the entrance of the bar, a sudden chill washed over you, sending a shiver down your spine. you couldn't quite place the feeling, but it was a foreboding sense that something was about to happen. the moment you walked in, the dim lighting and the low hum of chatter enveloped you. But it was the pair of dark eyes that you locked with immediately that sent a jolt through your entire being.

it was him, it always seemed to be him. he was sitting at a table with a few friends, his posture relaxed but his gaze intense. your body tensed involuntarily, and jackson, ever perceptive, noticed immediately. he placed a comforting arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. “ease up,” he whispered in your ear, his voice calm and reassuring. “i’ve got your back.”

you finally broke the gaze, nodding at jackson, and made your way to a table as far from jungkook as possible. jackson's arm remained draped around you, a steadying presence in the storm of emotions brewing inside you. the two of you indulged in drinks, jackson leaning in close to whisper in your ear. “just so you know,” he said with a playful grin, “i’m a lightweight.” you laughed, the tension easing slightly. “i know,” you whispered back, your smile widening.

despite your attempts to ignore him, you could feel jungkook’s eyes on you the entire time. he downed his drink, the muscles in his jaw tightening as he watched you with jackson. you could almost feel the intensity of his thoughts, wondering who jackson was and why you were with him. minho’s voice broke through the haze of tension. “how about a round of darts?” he suggested, his tone light and carefree.

your mind immediately flashed back to playing darts with jungkook, the way he had stood behind you, guiding your hand, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered instructions. the memory was sharp and painful, and you shook your head. “no, thank you,” you replied politely, trying to keep your voice steady. jackson noticed the flicker of emotion in your eyes. “i’ll play for you,” he offered, a confident smile on his lips.

you nodded, grateful for his support. jackson stood up, heading over to the dartboard, and jungkook’s eyes narrowed. his fuse had blown, the thin veneer of calm shattering. “i’ll play against you,” he announced, his voice low and challenging.

the room went quiet, the tension palpable. your face went pale, and you glanced at jackson, who scoffed, clearly unfazed by his challenge. “fine,” he said coolly. “let’s play.”

the game began, and the atmosphere was thick with tension. each throw of the dart was accompanied by backhanded remarks, the words sharp and biting. “nice throw,” jungkook commented, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “didn’t know you had it in you.” jackson smirked, his eyes never leaving the dartboard. “you’d be surprised what i can do,” he replied smoothly. “unlike some people, i don’t need to show off.”

jungkook’s eyes flashed with anger. “careful,” he said, his voice dangerously low. “you might bite off more than you can chew.” jackson shrugged, his expression unfazed. “i think i’ll manage,” he said, his voice steady. the game continued, each round more intense than the last. finally, with a final, precise throw, jackson won. he turned to you, a triumphant smile on his face, and you couldn’t help but hug him congratulatory. his embrace was warm and reassuring, a stark contrast to the cold glare jungkook sent your way.

his gaze never left the two of you, his eyes dark and stormy. the tension in the air was almost suffocating, but in jackson’s arms, you felt a sense of safety and support. the night was far from over, but for now, you allowed yourself to bask in the moment, grateful for the small victories amidst the chaos.

the tension inside the bar had become suffocating, a palpable force that seemed to press down on you. excusing yourself, you made your way to the door, needing a moment of solitude to clear your mind. as you stood up, jackson placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, his lips warm and reassuring. “hurry back,” he said softly, his eyes full of warmth. but you didn’t miss the way jungkook’s gaze hardened, his jaw clenching as he watched the small exchange.

you stepped outside, the cool night air a welcome relief. reaching into your pocket, you pulled out a cigarette, the flick of the lighter breaking the stillness. as you took the first drag, the smoke curled around you, its familiar scent grounding you in the moment. your peace was short-lived, however. a voice broke through the quiet, low and unmistakable.

“is that your boyfriend?” you didn’t turn around. instead, you scoffed, exhaling a plume of smoke. “he’s my ex-boyfriend.”

jungkook’s tone was unreadable as he remarked, “you two seem close.” you took another drag, the cigarette glowing softly in the darkness. “we have history,” you replied. “we might even make up at some point.”

he laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “don’t even think about it,” he said, his voice hardening. finally, you turned to face him, anger flaring in your chest. “what does it have to do with you?”

he took a step closer, his eyes locked onto yours. “the sight of you with another man makes me unreasonably angry,” he confessed, his voice low and intense. you were silent, your heart pounding as he stepped even closer. his presence was overwhelming, the air between you crackling with unspoken tension. without breaking eye contact, he reached out, taking the cigarette from your hand. he brought it to his lips, taking a slow puff, a small smile playing on his lips.

“mind your own business,” you said, your voice shaking slightly. “we’re nothing but friends, according to you.” he took another puff before leaning in, his gaze never wavering. in a swift motion, he pulled you in for a kiss. for a moment, you kissed him back, lost in the familiar warmth and intensity. but reality snapped back, and you pushed him away, anger and confusion swirling inside you.

“i have no interest in playing your games anymore,” you said firmly, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside. he was taken aback, his expression one of surprise and hurt, but he stayed silent. you stepped back, your eyes meeting his one last time. “stick to your usual players,” you told him, your voice laced with finality.

turning on your heel, you walked back into the bar, leaving jungkook standing alone in the night. the door closed behind you, the noise and warmth of the bar enveloping you once more. jackson looked up as you returned, concern flickering in his eyes, but you gave him a reassuring smile, trying to push the encounter from your mind. as you rejoined the group, the weight of the moment lingered, a heavy reminder of the complicated web of emotions you were entangled in. the night carried on, the air thick with unspoken words and unresolved feelings.

the night blurred as you indulged in the haze of alcohol, the edges of your reality softening with each drink. jungkook had returned to the bar, his presence a sharp contrast to the numbness that enveloped you. he made a deliberate effort to ignore you and jackson, his attention directed toward the girl beside him. she was a stranger to him, her name unimportant as she pressed kisses to his neck and traced her fingers along his collarbone.

you hadn't planned on drinking as much as you did. but when you caught a glimpse of the butterfly on the girl's wrist, the sight stung like a needle, memories of jungkook's monarch tattoo flooding back, memories of your own cherished drawing flooding back. you stared at the bottom of your glass, realizing you had lost count of how many times it had been filled and emptied.

jihyo noticed first, her eyes filled with sympathy as she took the glass from your hand, ignoring your feeble protests. jackson, his expression a mix of concern and exasperation, leaned in close. “you've had too much,” he murmured, his voice gentle yet firm. you wanted to argue, to push away his words, but the truth of them settled heavily on your shoulders. you felt too relaxed, your movements sluggish and your thoughts muddled. jackson announced to the group that he was taking you home, his tone leaving no room for debate.

that was when jungkook's attention was drawn back to you. he watched, his eyes darkening with an emotion he couldn't name, as jackson helped you to your feet. jungkook's heart twisted painfully as he saw the way you clung to him, your fingers gripping his shirt as if it were the only thing keeping you upright. he wanted to intervene, to take you in his arms and carry you home himself, but the weight of his own pride held him back. all he could do was watch as jackson guided you out of the bar, the girl's touch losing its allure entirely.

the walk home was a stumbling journey, your words slurring together in a drunken rant about what an asshole jungkook was. jackson did his best to console you, his voice soothing even as a pang of jealousy tightened in his chest. the sight of you in pain, tears glistening in your eyes, was almost more than he could bear.

when you finally reached your front door, he paused, his hands gentle as he steadied you. “seeing you cry was one of the worst experiences of my life,” he confessed, his voice low and earnest. “any man who makes you cry doesn't deserve you.” you looked at him, the sincerity in his eyes cutting through the fog of alcohol. he leaned in, pressing a final kiss to your cheek, the touch tender and bittersweet. “take care of yourself,” he whispered before turning to leave, the weight of his unspoken feelings lingering in the air.

you watched him go, your heart heavy with the tumult of emotions swirling inside you. the night was quiet now, the world around you still as you stood on your doorstep, the echo of jackson's words ringing in your ears. inside, the emptiness of your home seemed to mirror the void in your heart. you stumbled to your room, collapsing onto your bed, your mind replaying the events of the night. the taste of jungkook's kiss still lingered on your lips, a reminder of the complicated web of feelings you couldn't untangle. as sleep finally claimed you, your dreams were a tangled mess of memories and emotions, a reflection of the chaos that had become your reality.

the next day dawned with a dreary sky, the clouds heavy and swollen with impending rain. the rhythmic patter of raindrops against your window was a somber lullaby, pulling you from the clutches of a restless sleep. you groaned, the pounding in your head a relentless reminder of the previous night's excesses. forcing yourself out of bed, you prepared for the day, each movement deliberate and slow, as if the weight of your thoughts had seeped into your very bones.

the campus was a blur of umbrellas and hurried footsteps, the rain a persistent curtain that blurred the edges of your vision. you pulled your jacket tighter, shivering as the cold droplets kissed your skin. as you made your way to your morning class, a voice called out, stopping you in your tracks. “wait! could you come with me to the office?”

you turned to see one of the teachers, her expression unreadable. nervousness clawed at your insides, but you nodded, falling into step beside her. the walk to the office felt interminable, the walls closing in as a sense of dread pooled in your stomach. once inside, she gestured for you to sit, her demeanor serious. you complied, the anxiety almost unbearable as you waited for her to speak.

“the school’s program sends ten students from different departments every year to japan,” she began, her voice measured. “they spend a year at our sister art academy to strengthen their future as artists.” you nodded, your heart pounding. “i’m aware.”

she leaned forward, her eyes intense. “your sculptures have caught the eyes of many. you’re the top candidate. would you be interested?” the words hung in the air, your mind reeling. excitement surged through you, momentarily banishing the remnants of your hangover. “yes, absolutely!”

a smile ghosted across her lips. “you’ll need to create one more simple piece, something that speaks to you. can you do that?” you nodded, your thoughts already racing. “yes, i’m on it.”

“good. finish and present it as soon as possible.” you left the office, the rain still falling in relentless sheets. the excitement that had bubbled within you was quickly overshadowed by a gnawing hesitation. the reality of what the opportunity meant settled in, heavy and unyielding. you would be leaving everything behind—your friends, your school, and jungkook.

the thought of leaving him sent a fresh wave of uncertainty crashing over you. despite everything, despite the confusion and the pain, he was a part of your world. the idea of being an ocean away from him was almost too much to bear. you found yourself wandering aimlessly, the rain soaking through your clothes, each step feeling heavier than the last. your mind was a tempest, torn between the excitement of a new adventure and the fear of the unknown. the prospect of creating another sculpture loomed before you, a task that now felt monumental under the weight of your emotions.

the memory of your last piece resurfaced, the butterflies chasing freedom only to realize they needed love. the irony wasn’t lost on you. as you trudged through the rain, you realized that this new piece had to encapsulate everything you felt—the excitement, the fear, the longing, and the love. you headed back to the studio, the familiar scent of clay and plaster a strange comfort. as you began to work, the world outside faded away. your hands moved almost of their own accord, shaping and molding, each touch a cathartic release of the turmoil within. the rain continued its steady rhythm against the windows, a melancholic soundtrack to your efforts.

hours passed in a blur, your focus unbroken despite the emotional storm raging inside you. the sculpture began to take shape, a raw, unfiltered expression of your heart. it was a simple piece, yet it spoke volumes—a delicate balance of freedom and love, the very essence of your struggle. by the time you stepped back to admire your work, exhaustion had settled into your bones, but there was a sense of accomplishment too. the piece was a part of you, a fragment of your soul made tangible.

as you stepped into the bustling café where you had arranged to meet jihyo and jackson, the atmosphere was charged with the soft hum of conversations and clinking coffee cups. the light rain that had persisted throughout the day drummed gently against the café’s windows, adding a soothing rhythm to the scene. you were greeted by their warm smiles as you took your seat, the weight of the day’s revelation still heavy on your shoulders.

jackson leaned forward, his eyes alight with genuine enthusiasm. “you know, this opportunity is amazing. your talent has always been evident, and this chance in japan is well-deserved. i’m so proud of you.” jihyo nodded in agreement, her eyes reflecting the same pride and encouragement. “you’ve worked so hard. this is the kind of break you need to truly shine. i know you’re feeling hesitant, but remember how much you’ve accomplished. this is your chance to take it to the next level.”

you smiled weakly, your excitement mingling with apprehension. “i definitely plan to take it. it’s just, everything’s happening so fast, and i’m not sure how to let go of everything I’m leaving behind.”

jackson reached across the table, placing a comforting hand on yours. “your art is the best thing about you. it’s not just a part of you; it’s a reflection of who you are. anyone who gets to experience it, anyone who gets to know you through your art, is incredibly fortunate. you’re meant for great things.”

“thank you,” you said softly, feeling a wave of gratitude mixed with unease. it was then that you noticed a familiar figure through the café’s window. your heart skipped a beat as you saw jungkook sitting outside, his presence an unexpected jolt to your already fraught emotions. your breath caught in your throat as you observed him with another girl, who sat comfortably in his lap. they were sharing an intimate kiss, the tenderness of the moment starkly contrasting with the chaos swirling inside you.

the sight was a knife to your heart, the image of their closeness slicing through your resolve. you felt the world around you narrow, the laughter and chatter of the café fading into a distant hum. every beat of your heart seemed to echo with the impact of what you were witnessing. the gentle curve of jungkook’s smile, the way he held her—it was a brutal reminder of what you were losing. struggling to maintain composure, you excused yourself with a shaky voice. “i think i need some air. i’ll walk home.”

without waiting for their response, you stood abruptly, the café’s warmth feeling stifling against the cold storm brewing inside you. you pushed through the door, the crisp rain and cool air a sharp contrast to the suffocating emotions that had taken hold. each step felt heavy, the rain drumming against your skin a harsh, unrelenting reminder of the turmoil within.

as you walked, the image of jungkook and the girl replayed in your mind, a relentless echo that seemed to drown out all other thoughts. your heart felt like it was being pulled in a hundred directions at once—toward the excitement of your new opportunity and the painful reality of what you might be leaving behind. the rain continued to fall, mingling with the tears that slipped down your cheeks, unnoticed. the world around you seemed to blur, your thoughts a chaotic whirl of feelings and memories. the prospect of the future was overshadowed by the haunting present, and the weight of your choices seemed almost unbearable. you trudged along, the journey home a silent testament to the internal struggle you faced. the thought of him and his effortless connection with someone else was a harsh reminder of the emotional complexity you had to navigate, and the path ahead felt uncertain and fraught with both hope and heartache.

the rain fell in heavy, unrelenting sheets as you walked home, each step a painful reminder of the emotional weight you carried. the sky was a somber gray, the clouds a reflection of the storm raging inside you. your body felt frail, your legs weak, as if the very essence of your being was being drained away. the weight of what you had seen, the raw pain of feeling worthless, clung to you with an almost tangible heaviness. jungkook had meant the world to you, yet now it seemed that even that precious world was slipping through your fingers, leaving nothing but a hollow ache.

you trudged along the empty streets, the rhythmic patter of raindrops against the pavement blending with the chaotic rhythm of your thoughts. the cold rain soaked through your clothes, chilling you to the bone, but it barely registered against the emotional frost that had settled over your heart.

suddenly, you heard your name being called out. the voice was distant, but unmistakable. you recognized it instantly. it was him. you kept walking, trying to push the sound away, as if ignoring it could somehow make it disappear. but then, you heard it again, more urgent, cutting through the rain-soaked night. your steps faltered, and you turned around, your heart sinking as you saw him running towards you, his figure becoming clearer with each stride.

jungkook was drenched, the rain pouring down his face, mingling with the anguish that seemed to be etched into his features. his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat. he reached you, breathless and soaked to the skin, but his presence was like a burning beacon in the storm.

“don’t go,” he said, his voice breaking through the relentless roar of the rain. you stared at him, confusion mingling with the pain in your chest. “what are you talking about?”

“i heard about japan,” he continued, his voice raw and pleading. “don’t go. please.”

the words struck you like a blow, but you fought to keep your composure. “i have no reason to stay,” you replied, your voice trembling despite your efforts to remain firm. to your surprise, jungkook took your hands into his, his grip warm and desperate. “i need you here,” he said, his eyes filled with a pleading intensity. “i need you to stay.”

the tears that you had been holding back began to well up, blurring your vision. you pulled your hands away from his grasp, your voice cracking as you spoke. “i need to be as far away from you as possible. i like you too much, jungkook. i care for you, but i can’t give you the freedom you want. i need to chase my own freedom.”

you turned away, but his grip was swift and unyielding. he grabbed your arm, pulling you back, his fingers digging in with a desperation that matched your own inner turmoil. you could hear the ragged breaths escaping from his lips as he clung to you, his voice barely above a whisper. “please, just stay. don’t go.” you tried to pull away, but he held on, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close until your back was pressed against his chest. his embrace was both comforting and agonizing, a paradox of warmth and sorrow. you could feel his heartbeat against your back, a rhythmic reminder of the pain that was being shared between you.

he whispered into your ear, his voice trembling with emotion. “i need you. please don’t leave me.”

the tears streamed down your face uncontrollably as you remained silent, the weight of the decision pressing heavily upon you. his pleas were a bittersweet melody that tore at your heart, the pain of leaving him and the freedom you sought intertwining into a tormenting dance. with a final, wrenching sob, you pulled your arm away, turning to face him one last time. his face was a picture of heartache, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he watched you, his expression a mixture of longing and devastation. the sight of him, so vulnerable and broken, was almost too much to bear.

you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you turned away once more. the rain seemed to pour harder, as if the heavens were weeping for the love you were leaving behind. you walked away, each step feeling like an eternity, the pain of leaving jungkook and the promise of your future battling within your heart. the finality of your decision was a heavy burden, but you knew that you had to forge ahead, even as the sorrow of what you were leaving behind threatened to consume you.

the night had been a long, dark tunnel through which you stumbled, your steps muffled by the weight of your sorrow. the rain had pattered relentlessly against your window, a haunting lullaby that matched the rhythm of your tearful sobs. you had cried yourself to sleep, each tear a silent testament to the heartache that coursed through you, mingling with the cold emptiness of the night. the warmth of your bed was of little comfort, overshadowed by the turmoil that roiled within your chest.

as dawn broke, its pale light filtered through your curtains, casting a somber glow over the room. the sun’s early rays were a stark contrast to the storm inside you. you rose, your movements slow and weary, the exhaustion from the previous night clinging to you like a second skin. with a heavy heart and leaden steps, you prepared yourself for the day ahead—the day of your presentation.

the studio was quiet, save for the soft hum of fluorescent lights overhead. you walked to your piece, the weight of the day pressing heavily on your shoulders. the sculpture you had created—a delicate representation of butterflies and an outstretched hand—stood in the center of the room, bathed in the cold light of morning. the clay had been shaped with painstaking care, each butterfly a testament to your emotions, each wing a silent echo of your heartache.

you gazed at the sculpture, your breath catching in your throat. the butterflies, which had once been a symbol of your freedom, now seemed to mock your sorrow. their fragile wings, once vibrant and hopeful, were now a muted reflection of your internal struggle. the hand beneath them was extended as if in an eternal gesture of solace, yet it seemed to grasp at something forever out of reach. the piece was a paradox—a representation of the freedom you yearned for, coupled with the love you were leaving behind.

your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your teacher’s voice, cutting through the silence like a lifeline. “everyone's waiting,” she said, her tone gentle yet firm. the words jolted you into action, and with one final, reluctant glance at your sculpture, you lifted it with trembling hands. the weight of the piece felt like an anchor, dragging you toward the theatre room where your presentation awaited.

as you entered the room, the atmosphere was charged with anticipation. the space was filled with an array of faces—jihyo and jackson, their supportive expressions a stark contrast to the tension that gripped you; the professors from japan, their keen eyes scanning you with a mixture of curiosity and evaluation; and jungkook, who sat among them, his presence a palpable ache in your chest. he looked worn, his face haggard as if the night had been a battleground of its own. when the room fell silent, you began your presentation, your voice wavering as you started to speak. your gaze frequently flickered to your piece, but it was jungkook’s eyes that held you captive. the connection between you was electric, a silent conversation that spoke louder than words.

you began to explain your sculpture in intricate detail, your words a poignant reflection of the emotions you had poured into it. “the butterflies,” you said, your voice trembling with emotion, “represent the pursuit of freedom. they chase after an elusive goal, their wings a delicate dance of hope and struggle. eventually, after chasing freedom for so long, their wings began to wither. fall apart. they become weak, as they search for solace from the hand that awaits them,” each phrase you uttered felt like a resonating dagger piercing through jungkook’s heart, each description a painful reminder of what you were leaving behind.

the room’s ambient noise faded into a background hum as your focus remained solely on jungkook. the intensity of his gaze made it hard to breathe, and despite the precision of your words, you could not hide the tears that brimmed in your eyes. the sculpture, which you had hoped would be a beacon of your artistic achievement, was overshadowed by the rawness of your feelings. as you concluded, your voice cracked with emotion. “all they’ve ever known was freedom,” you said, your voice barely more than a whisper, “nevertheless, all they ever needed was love.”

the professors responded with polite applause, their approval a distant echo to the tumultuous storm of your emotions. Your heart was focused solely on the sight of jungkook, whose eyes were fixed on the sculpture with an expression of profound sadness. a single tear slid down his cheek, tracing a path that seemed to embody all the words left unsaid between you.

he turned abruptly, his face a canvas of heartbreak, and you watched as he walked away, your eyes following the path of his butterfly tattoo. the symbol, so intricately tied to your shared history, seemed to pulse with a haunting resonance. it was as if the butterfly was an echo of the love and freedom you both had chased, now left fluttering in the storm of your separation. the finality of his departure was a bitter pill, and as you stood there, the weight of the moment pressed heavily upon you. the sculpture, the presentation, and the love you were leaving behind melded into a poignant tableau of loss and longing.

the presentation room, once filled with the fervor of evaluation, gradually settled into a subdued murmur as the professors gathered their thoughts. their voices, though hushed, carried an air of reverence. one of them, an elderly man with a sharp gaze softened by years of experience, approached you with a warm smile. “your work is extraordinary,” he said, his voice rich with genuine admiration. “the way you’ve captured the essence of freedom and love through your sculpture is nothing short of brilliant.”

another professor, a woman with a commanding presence and a graceful poise, nodded in agreement. “indeed,” she added, her eyes sparkling with approval. “your piece speaks volumes. the subtlety and depth of emotion conveyed through your butterflies and the extended hand reflect an understanding of art that goes beyond technique. it’s a rare gift.”

you stood there, feeling their praise wash over you like a gentle tide. despite their words, a hollow emptiness lingered within you, a void that seemed impervious to their accolades. they continued, “we are pleased to inform you that the academy in japan has reviewed your work and welcomes your arrival as soon as tonight.”

the words were a formal acknowledgment of what you had anticipated, but they did little to stir excitement within you. you simply nodded, your face an impassive mask that concealed the whirlwind of emotions brewing beneath. your teacher, who had been a silent witness to the exchange, gave you a supportive pat on the shoulder, her eyes reflecting a mixture of pride and empathy.

as you prepared to leave, jihyo and jackson were by your side, enveloping you in heartfelt congratulations. “you did it!” jihyo exclaimed, her voice a mixture of joy and sadness. “this is such a great opportunity for you.” jackson joined in, his embrace firm and reassuring. “we’re so proud of you,” he said, his voice heavy with sincerity. “this is your chance to shine, to make your mark on the world.” yet, amidst their praises and supportive words, you felt a profound emptiness. the accolades, the approval, even the opportunity felt distant, overshadowed by the weight of your own emotional turmoil.

just as you were about to leave to pack, jackson’s voice stopped you in your tracks. “wait,” he called softly. you turned to face him, curiosity mingled with trepidation in your eyes.

he took a deep breath, his expression a blend of melancholy and resolve. “i knew it would never be me,” he began, his voice steady yet laden with unspoken emotion. “when i saw your work, and when i saw jungkook’s tattoo, i understood that this was something i could never be a part of.” his words were an acknowledgment of the deep-seated truths that had been woven into the fabric of your shared experiences.

his gaze softened as he pulled a sleek black box from his pocket. “i have something for you,” he said, holding it out with a tender gesture. “jungkook asked me to give this to you.” with a final, gentle kiss to your forehead, he wished you a safe journey, his eyes filled with a mix of hope and resignation. “i’ll always be waiting for you,” he said softly.

you accepted the box, feeling the weight of it in your hand. as you turned to leave, the heaviness of your heart seemed to magnify with every step. the box felt like a tangible piece of the emotions you were grappling with, a silent witness to the complexity of your feelings. once you were home, the task of packing your bags seemed almost secondary to the allure of the box. you set your belongings aside, your gaze fixed on the small, unassuming container. the anticipation was almost unbearable as you slowly opened it.

inside, nestled in a bed of soft black velvet, lay a silver necklace. the pendant was an exquisite butterfly, its delicate wings capturing the light with a subtle sheen. the craftsmanship was impeccable, every detail of the butterfly’s form rendered with a delicate precision that took your breath away. your hands trembled as you lifted the necklace, the weight of it feeling like a physical manifestation of the emotions you had been suppressing. with a mixture of reverence and sorrow, you clasped the necklace around your neck. the cold metal brushed against your skin, and you could feel the butterfly resting over your heart.

as you fastened the clasp, the floodgates opened, and the sobs that had been building up erupted uncontrollably. the tears streamed down your face, each one a reflection of the anguish and longing that had been bottled up inside. the necklace, a symbol of love and departure, seemed to echo the pain of leaving behind the things and people you cherished.

you sank onto your bed, the weight of the necklace a bittersweet reminder of jungkook's affection and the heartbreak that had marked your journey. the room, once a sanctuary, now felt like a space where your emotions were laid bare, each tear a testament to the complexity of your farewell. the necklace glistened softly in the dim light, a silent witness to your sorrow and the new chapter that awaited you. as you lay there, the tears slowly subsiding, the butterfly pendant against your skin felt like a fragile promise—a delicate symbol of the freedom you sought and the love you had to leave behind.

the airport buzzed with the ceaseless motion of travelers, each with their own stories of departure and arrival, but for you, it felt like the world had stopped. every step toward the gate was weighted with the gravity of what you were leaving behind. the butterfly pendant lay cold against your chest, a stark reminder of the connection you still felt to jungkook, its delicate form pressed close to your heart.

the evening was draped in a shroud of melancholy, the terminal lights casting a pale glow over the bustling scene. you walked through the throngs of people, each stride a battle against the urge to turn back, to run away from the decision that tore at your soul. the departure board loomed ahead, and you searched for your gate, the numbers and letters blurring together through the haze of your emotions.

when you finally reached your gate, your heart sank. the moment had come, and the reality of your departure hit you with a force that nearly knocked the breath from your lungs. the weight of your chest was unbearable, the ache of leaving everything behind more than you had anticipated. your mind swirled with thoughts of jungkook, the memories of your time together interwoven with the pain of parting. just as you were about to resign yourself to the inevitable, you heard your name being called. it was a voice you would recognize anywhere, even amidst the cacophony of the airport. you turned slowly, your breath catching in your throat. there he was, running toward you with an urgency that mirrored the turmoil in your heart.

you stood frozen, unable to move as jungkook reached you, his breath ragged from the sprint. his eyes, filled with a mix of desperation and love, locked onto yours. “don’t leave,” he pleaded, his voice breaking with the weight of his emotions. the tears were quick to follow, faster than your words could form, streaming down your cheeks in a torrent of unspoken pain. he continued, his voice trembling. “i don’t just need you,” he said, his hands trembling as he reached out to cup your face with a gentleness that broke your heart. “i love you. i can’t bear the thought of you being so far from me.”

the background noise of the airport faded into nothingness as you sobbed, your vision blurred by the flood of tears. his touch was a balm to your aching heart, his words a lifeline in the storm of your emotions. he repeated himself, his voice steadying with conviction. “i love you.” in that moment, the world around you ceased to exist. it was just the two of you, standing at the precipice of a decision that would alter the course of your lives. you allowed yourself to melt into his embrace, the warmth of his body a stark contrast to the cold metal of the necklace against your skin.

“i love you too,” you whispered, your voice barely audible through the sobs that wracked your body. the admission was a release, a catharsis of the emotions you had held back for so long. you clung to him, feeling the strength of his love envelop you, grounding you in a way you hadn’t felt in ages. but even as you surrendered to the moment, a small voice in the back of your mind whispered the harsh truth. you knew it wasn’t love, not in the way that was meant to last. it was a tempest of passion and pain, a connection born from the shared scars of your pasts and the unspoken longing that had drawn you together.

as you stood there, entwined in each other’s arms, you knew that this love, however flawed and fleeting, was all you had ever wanted. it was the reason your heart ached, the reason your soul soared, and as you buried your face in his shoulder, you made a silent promise to cherish this love for as long as it lasted, no matter how brief or bittersweet. no, it wasn't love. nevertheless, you were in love with him.

✧.*

a/n: if there's one thing i'm gonna do it's add jackson wang as a random side character...this was inspired by my favorite horror kdrama aka nevertheless

[hwaightme]

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🩺 pairing: paediatrician!bf!seonghwa x neurosurgeon!gn!reader 🩺 genre: fluff, doctor au, established long-term relationship, festive fic 🩺 summary: in the early hours of a shared night shift right before christmas, the present turns into a gift, and seonghwa can't be happier and more in love 🩺 wordcount: 7.8k total 🩺 warnings/tags: slightly edited, the fluff is strong, simpery is real, two doctors with heart eyes, marriage, proposals, family, hwa is yearing, woo cameo, woo+hwa banter, yeo+yunho mention, mom+kid side ocs, needles/syringes, injections, hospitals, night shifts, unconventional marshmallow toasting, a lot of love and sharing life <3 🩺 taglist: at the bottom of the fic 🩺 a/n: happy holidays and merry christmas~ the idea for this was in the drafts for ages, reignited hardcore by @starrysvn(...the cameos hehet), and it feels right for the festive season~ much love! comments, reblogs, notes all appreciated

Clean and comforting. The poster-room of an office, personalised, and yet retaining all the professional qualities necessary. The gentle swaying of the tulle that transformed the twinkling of a myriad of skyscrapers outside and a magnificent deep navy and inky black star-filled sky into a soothing haze, the ticking of a clock adorned with illustrations from the doctor’s favourite franchise. There was a unity even in the multicoloured shelves and cupboards. Stickers, kindly left behind by particularly pleased, proud and excited patients turned into permanent decorations on the sides of the otherwise strictly uniform desk, bringing relief and encouragement to its occupant. The newest additions - a small desk Christmas tree that was decorated on theme with the rest of the space, and a couple of garlands elegantly hung on the top cupboards and above the tulle served as reminders that it was, in fact, the festive season, and celebrations were only a day away. Even so, healthcare could not take a holiday, and the hospital was busier than ever.

“Hey… do you like… Lego?”

It had been long enough since the beginning of the appointment, as Doctor Park Seonghwa had noted, but the little patient sitting in front of him was still refusing to succumb to the wrath of a ‘spooky scary needle that makes him go ouchy’. Seonghwa could not blame the boy though - if there was something he never did, it was to project a child’s behaviour outwards into adult societal expectations. As a matter of fact, he rarely did that for adults too. He never saw the point, nor did he wish to impose some alternative spin on reality onto anyone who he had the pleasure of meeting, especially his patients or their relatives. As L/N Junseo crossed his arms in disapproval, Seonghwa could not help but spin a tiny fraction on his stool that he used during appointments such as this, and sneak another piece of sporadic scrutiny towards the mother. As he had assumed, there was little comfort to be offered from her side - she was sitting in a corner across the room, fanning herself and sending worried glances in the approximate direction of both the doctor and her son.

So, he had no choice left. He had to pull the most powerful weapons out of his arsenal - inspired by the many pieces that served as baubles on his desktop tree. Seonghwa was grateful that he had the foresight to not unpack the disposable syringe before checking the kid’s tolerance. Judging by the smile that spread across the boy’s face, and the confused expression gracing his mother’s, Seonghwa knew he hit the jackpot and there was potential for him to catch a break if the appointment did not run over, and if he was lucky enough, perhaps the main reason behind his rush would be free too. The simple thought inadvertently crawled into Seonghwa’s mind, and he lowered his gaze to suppress a shy smile and return to being the amiable paediatrician that he needed to be.

“Now, mister Junseo, will you wait a couple of seconds for me?” After receiving his patient’s enthusiastic nods of approval, he spun around on his stool, and rolled towards the cabinet that occupied the majority of the right wall of his office.

Stopping himself from crashing into his desk with a fast hand, he opened one of the lower doors to reveal a series of colour coded and labelled trays, each one filled to the brim with even more vibrant hues, but maintaining a strict order. Pulling the first and then the second tray from the top, the doctor inspected the contents, and decided to give the final decision to Junseo, turning to him with a grin on his face.

“Dinosaurs or spaceships?”

“Spaceships!” just as Seonghwa had thought, this question broke through the storm clouds of doubt and fear, cutting right down to Junseo’s primary interests, some of which the young doctor just so happened to share – the only difference was that the latter had to also remember that he had a job to do, and that job involved convincing, or cleverly deceiving with good intentions, a little kid into a routine shot. It was hard not to wonder what your, his life partner’s, reaction would be if you were in this room with him, considering that this environment was probably the furthest a space from your natural habitat - the operating room, could be.

“A man of good taste I see. I mean, dinosaurs are cool too, but I will let you in on a little secret… I have matching spaceship band aids,” As he pulled out the tray that contained some pre-built spaceships, with the bricks being from a younger-child-friendly set, along with stray pieces that turned the set into the perfect cognitive and sensory exercise, Seonghwa took time to explain his actions to the boy. In a way this was not too dissimilar from the preparation of instruments for surgery, so perhaps you would find joy in this interaction to the same extent as him. He shook his head lightly, reeling himself back to the matter at hand.

Sometimes, Seonghwa pondered whether too much of his budget, and, on occasion, personal finances, went towards making his office be more of a playground than what one would imagine ‘a doctor’s lair’ to be – in his mind, that was your office, one that he visited enough times to memorise. An ode to modernity, with books and documents, diagrams and an anatomically accurate model of a brain with various labels - just what one would expect of a real doctor. But both fortunately and unfortunately, this was a style that Seonghwa would not attempt to achieve in his own office. There was a mat on the floor made out of foam puzzle pieces, there was every form of toy transport he could find, animals, dolls… he swore he appeared in toy stores more regularly than in the pharmacy at this point. But the joy with which his patients’ faces lit up was more than encouraging, reminding him that he was on the right path, he was doing well, and that everything was worth it.

“NO WAY!” Junseo yelled out, excitedly kicking his feet. The paper towels that lined the bench rustled slightly, the link between the sheets being stress tested – much like the mother, who appeared to be speechless, but at least no longer faint.

Seonghwa imagined that his present conclusions and responsive actions were not too distant from how teachers felt when they saw a certain type of action be executed by a child, and then saw its origins during parent teacher conferences. The conclusion had come to his mind on its own accord but resounded loudly enough for him to send a reassuring gleam to Missus in the corner, and observe her delayed reactions as she, evidently, was battling the instinct to throttle him to the ground and save her child from danger. How wild and fascinating the generational sharing of fears and burdens was. Seonghwa turned his attention back to the star of the show, who was eagerly waiting for the eloquently advertised, and much anticipated, spaceships.

“Yes way! And I can show them to you later.” Seonghwa responded with a chuckle, setting the tray next to the boy, making him turn to the side and better expose the arm that was to receive the intramuscular injection. Even though Junseo was now fully immersed in the toy provided, he still expressed his gratitude, forcing the man to use every ounce of strength in him to not melt.

“Thank you so much Doctor Park!”

"No, thank you! Lego is my favourite, you know, but if you picked dinosaurs, you could have heard my tyrannosaurus rex impression." He could hear some shuffling outside of the room, turning into a thud as he introduced his ‘special ability’ when it came to distraction tactics. It was straining, conducting all his appointments without a nurse, since quite a number had arranged to go on holiday for Christmas, including his favourite in the form of a tall man with the brightest smile and enough energy to power the whole building - Jeong Yunho. Was it a challenge for Seonghwa? Perhaps, but he was coping. Besides, would he really want anyone here with him except a certain someone who was not even in this specialisation?

"Awh... no... but that sounds so fun I wanna hear, I wanna hear!!!" The cute boy was practically begging, giving Seonghwa his best puppy dog eyes with a turn of his head – that would not do for the doctor’s mission, however, Junseo needed to be practically in a different realm for it to work.

"Could you attach this jet engine please?" In the softest voice he could muster, Seonghwa guided attention back to the spaceships, commenting on how well Junseo was assembling them. He infinitely admired the ability that children had to disregard common practices, ignore rules and simply create. As Junseo would get older, he would undoubtedly have to succumb to standardisation, but in the meantime, he could enjoy picking a wild palette of coloured bricks, not think about astrophysics when constructing the ships, and be perfectly satisfied with what he was crafting.

"Mhm..."

Using the moment of distraction, Seonghwa turned and reached for the hand sanitiser pump on his desk, cleaning his hands. With practised motions, as he returned to his seat in front of the kid, the doctor took out the prefilled syringe out of the pocket of his white coat, peeling the decontamination seal to fish the item out. He had a small window of opportunity and needed to act fast to seize it. From the other pocket, he produced a packet with an alcohol swab, carefully tearing it, as far away from Junseo as possible so that he would not be shocked by the smell.

"Now, Junseo, could you sit a little closer to me, so... oh thank you!" The child obediently shuffled, not taking his eyes off the Lego pieces. "You might feel a little cold on your arm, but don't worry I will roar that away, okay, you with me? Ah wait, how do we make that ship the strongest in the galaxy?" breath in, breath out. Watching the child’s movements so that he would not accidentally hurt himself. Lifting the sleeve of the t-shirt the Junseo was wearing ever so slightly, Seonghwa crept towards the bench on his wheeled stool, praying to every higher power that he would be done with this appointment soon, but retaining his professionalism. It was now or never.

"Imma show you-"

"Nyaaaaaaah~"

As soon as Seonghwa started, he was done, and the syringe was long hidden behind his back as he pressed a cotton ball to the area, though Junseo could not care less, having broken into a fit of giggles over the interesting interpretation of a t-rex. No matter how exhausted he was, this was one of the things the doctor lived for – having the ability to make medicine, doctor’s visits, and hospitals just a little bit less miserable for the little ones, something of a game or an adventure, him being of the opinion that these pocket-sized humans did not deserve to be exposed to the struggles quite yet. If it was in his power, he would have changed the ‘quite yet’ to never, but that was far too utopian, and something wiped out of him in first year of medical school. So, Doctor Park simply tried his best.

"DOCTOR PARK THAT WAS NOT A ROAR!!!" Junseo proclaimed, still giggling as he clutched onto a bright green brick. Seonghwa chuckled, sliding to the left to dispose of the syringe in a biohazard bin, stretching himself out so that he could still keep holding the cotton ball. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the mother beginning to come to her senses, the ‘high alert’ mode dropping to a more manageable, generally healthy parental worry.

"Then come on, show me what you've got. I bet you have a-"

"ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAR!!!" With him being startled by what he should have expected, he could not help but throw a glance at the other adult in the room, finding her surprised. Hands clasped together, she whispered ‘goodness gracious’, and upon finding out that she had a one-man audience, gave a sheepish grin and looked down. Seonghwa was calming down from his ‘performance’, the doctor, actor, caregiver and child-friendly comedian in him began to leave his body, giving way to a straightforward happiness of a man who could see that he helped out people in need.

"Wow now that is IMPRESSIVE Mister Junseo! Ah wait, could you hold this for me?” he gestured towards the cotton ball, and once the boy complied, backed away to get some more hand sanitiser. “We are done!"

"Huh? Wait... no ouchy?" genuinely confused, the toddler asked, dropping the Lego pieces entirely and blinking in slow motion.

"We scared the ouchy away with spaceships and your awesome roar, didn't we?"

"WE DID!! WE DID!!" With the cotton forgotten, Junseo was about to hop off the bench, his hands pressed into the dark grey material he had been sitting on, but before he could Seonghwa caught him, easily picking the boy up in his arms despite the weight that it put on him. After all, patients came first, and this was always a clear sign that he was trusted – besides, the kid did not have any other ailments, so a little hug would not hurt anyone, especially not Seonghwa’s soul.

"We did! I promised you a cool band aid too so... ah hold on let me... watch your head please." With Junseo still in his arms, Doctor Park ambled towards the other side of the office, closer to where the mother was now standing, to reach into one of the shelves and retrieve the packet of what he considered to be something akin to achievement stamps. A final well done from him to the patient, for being so courageous and letting Seonghwa poke them with a needle.

The rest of the appointment went by in a blur. The boy was safely back in his mother’s arms, sporting a colourful bandaid, babbling away about spaceships, quietly repeating Seonghwa’s dinosaur impression, and emphasising for the umpteenth time that ‘the injection actually did not hurt at all’, much to the mother’s delight. She looked to be on cloud nine as she held her bundle of joy, and even though he was bouncing on her lap to the point where the doctor would assume that she was in discomfort, the woman showed no sign, and instead gleamed at him, expressing genuine gratitude.

"So sorry for all the trouble and that I could not help in any way, please accept my-"

"No need no need! Junseo is such a sweet boy, and it was all his bravery in the end. I am just doing my job." He tried to assure her, flipping through the vaccination booklet she had provided and filling out the details of the shot. While checking the date just in case, despite him having a mental countdown to Christmas with the precision down to an hour practically built into his brain, he still noted the clock on his computer, memorising the time in order to figure out when approximately you would be done with the surgery you had arranged for this evening. Maybe he would have enough time to stop by your department, and manage to catch you there to ask about what plans for celebration you two would dare have in between busy schedules. His attention was guided back to the jovial duo on the armchair, as the mother spoke once more.

"You perform miracles, Doctor Park. Really. You are truly one of a kind! Before today I was convinced that he was wired to cry at every appointment..." she lowered her voice a little, just as Junseo turned away to pick at one of his trouser pockets.

"If you are worried about him developing any phobias and the like, I can recommend some amazing medical experts who can work with you and him?" Whenever anyone voiced a concern, he took it as part of his responsibility to respond wholeheartedly, and as such, once he completed the record, offered assistance. Perhaps this was also a safe zone for him, a removal from what otherwise would inevitably make his heart melt or ache. But to no avail.

"Oh no, no, I think I found the cure right here. Really, my husband will be so impressed about this!”

Husband. Happy family. There it was. Seonghwa felt the corner of his mouth twitch as he lifted himself off his chair, shut the booklet and returned it to the mother, and wife. It was difficult to convince himself that this was not jealousy tugging at his nerves and heartstrings, as the more he pondered the image of what had to be a perfect union, the dinners, the days out in the park, the little meet ups for lunch if either partner was otherwise busy… the domesticity got to him and made him want to slam the table in frustration. So, he did the next best thing, and clasped his hands behind his back so that he would not dare act out of line.

“Is that so?” he forced out, remaining composed as he returned the mother’s bows while she ushered her son forward and stood up to head for the door. He could not help but imagine the duo walking under the lights that adorned every shop, every street and coming home to their own tree, coming together as a small family in a cosy atmosphere. Similar routines, similar time off, the space to love and to live and to enjoy being ‘one’ to the fullest. 

“I think he will want to come with us next time, to meet you, really… of course if you don't mind us scheduling check-ups with you from now on?" meet him… so Seonghwa could see the whole assembly… Really, right in the moment when his head was filled with thoughts of you, he had to be reminded of just how adorable some aspects of paediatrics could be, to the degree of malicious irritation. 

He bet that the reason why you were so relaxed about your relationship was because you were not in direct contact with families and cute kids, for the most part. The closest you came to communicating with patients was in briefing, de-briefing and maintenance of their condition pre- and post- operation. He had to see the bad and good, the downs and ups, the rollercoasters and the memorable highs over long periods of time. Some of his patients he had known for so long, they were basically his relatives, and the personifications of sunshine that would rush to greet him, nearly stumbling over tiny shoes and sometimes barely reaching his waist, or even mid-thigh, restored his faith in the universe. It was exactly because he was aware of the downsides, and still desired this closeness and this next step with you, that he was cursing time itself for not allowing him to express this hope properly. Sure, you had discussed marriage, and both of you were more than committed to one another, but no words had been said about the part where someone popped the question. Was there ever going to be ‘the right time’? Especially when both of you were at the early stages of your medical careers, and were caught adrift in the chaotic shifts, training, exams and had to sacrifice yourselves for thousands who came through the doors of the hospital.

"Ah, whatever you would prefer, Missus Hwang. It would be an honour.” He squashed his nerves for the remainder of the appointment, and peacefully parted with the two visitors to KQ Hospital, wishing them the happiest holidays and for a stable recovery from the vaccination. 

Seonghwa remained standing in the corridor, his back propping the door to the office. Closing his eyes, he listened to the opening of the elevator, and let out a breath he did not know he had been holding once Junseo’s excited, shrill voice was muted by the doors. Gears moved into action as the machine carried the mother and son away from the paediatric ward. The doctor rolled his head in an attempt to relieve at least some of the tension that had built up from the back-to-back out-patient care, the abominable late nights, and the vexatious haze that plagued him in his own life.

It was going to be a long night. And he was barely a quarter of the way through his night shift; perhaps the winter cold and the shorter days were to blame for the melancholy mood. As he straightened himself up once more, Seonghwa instinctively reached for the phone that was hidden in the pocket of his black trousers, hoping for any kind of distraction. Checking the time, messages, whether you had even seen his text about the maintenance people coming to check the plumbing next week… any sign that there was a world beyond his job. But the communication flatlined, and he resorted to simply staring at his lockscreen: a picture of the two of you during that one vacation that you had managed to book together. The one where, three days in, both of you had severe work withdrawal, but thankfully laughed it off and soothed the pain by falling asleep in each other’s arms. That was what he missed. The simple things. If there was one thing he wished for this Christmas, it was for you and him to spend it together - no one else, no pagers going off incessantly, no family members intruding on your time, not even friends. He missed you, even though you were right there. Of course, he still felt blessed to be able to embrace you almost every time you two would be floating into dreamland - be it in the morning or in the evening, aside from when shifts did not align, but he craved more, always. Maybe he was being greedy, wanting for even more of your time. Nonetheless, he hoped that his readiness to sacrifice all of his for you would, at some point, result in his most romantic dreams, akin to castles in the sky, coming true. He wished to well and truly build a life with you. Seonghwa had never thought that he would pay so much attention to labels, but something about settling down officially, being together ‘in sickness and in health’, as he had heard in the vows at his friends’ weddings, was leaving him in a state of longing, constantly, until it was a permanent buzzing in his head.

"So... Doctor Seong-nyah-" rudely tearing through his daydreams, a familiar voice startled the doctor, causing him to gasp and shove his mobile phone into his pocket with panicked haste.

"Wooyoung, don't test me, you are not my patient." Seonghwa gasped, and retorted with sudden venom, spinning to face the man who, evidently, had been loitering around in the corridor behind him for a lot longer than he would ever accept.

"But I want a sticker or a bandaid please~"

But the action only resulted in a stupor, as right there, hands in pockets, the ghost of a mischievous smile on perfectly tinted lips, was his favourite person. Doctor L/N Y/N, neurosurgeon, and definitely the one who had changed his brain wiring to short circuit every time he saw you. Before Wooyoung got any cheekier due to the lack of a response and the less than discreet gawking from Seonghwa’s end, he forced out a random commentary; anything to keep himself from going into cardiac arrest.

"You keep stealing my Disney princess ones anyways!?"

"Can't help it. Besides I've seen you snatch the toy sword so consider us even."

A light blush was threatening to coat his cheeks as he gazed at you, mesmerised by your cheerful reaction. Without a doubt you were imagining the scene, and had you been alone, would coo at ‘just how endearing’ it was. This was not the kind of ‘break between appointments’ that he was imagining, and while you were here, before him, very obviously free, Seonghwa was questioning whether this was a manifestation of luck or a curse.

"That was for safety… and… uh… hello my love.” he mumbled, while you smiled at him, and gave him a gentle wave, already anticipating that even if you were to speak, you would crack and reveal what you had been planning - a major step forward that had been plaguing your mind at almost all hours, even in rare snippets of quiet. Technically, what you had said to Seonghwa was true - it had been an operation, just of a different kind. Careful to not let the mandatory Santa hat you had tugged on your head as part of your department’s senior residents’ effort to ‘keep the spirits up’ slip, you adjusted it to be more snug, and rapidly returned your attention to your boyfriend, who was intently studying you, admiring every detail as though he had not seen each one a million times over.

"Y/N here found the dinosaur impression cute, just so you know." Stuck in a limbo between locking himself in his office and throttling Wooyoung to the ground, Seonghwa chose neither and was simply amazed at how you could remain so nonchalant.

"Were both of you… listening to the… but that is not-”

You and Wooyoung exchanged a knowing look, causing suspicion to rise in Seonghwa. He was not fond of it. Not in the slightest. There was something brewing, and that glint in your eyes was less than reassuring. What were you hiding from him? A million questions a second ran through his mind as he subjected you to scrutiny. First off, you had said that the surgery could be challenging. And yet he could not detect the slight furrowing in your brows, the slouch, the pursed lips that you normally had if you were monitoring a patient in critical condition.

"They were around the department, and I just so happen to know that you are a certified clown so..." Wooyoung began, purposefully winding the taller man up until he was ready to break the Hippocratic oath and cause harm.

"Says the person who can literally replace the fire alarm with his-"

“This is why you should follow my methods and do the whole ‘energy drink and coffee” cocktail before those ghostly long shifts, I tell you-” crossing his arms, Wooyoung appeared to be enjoying every moment he spent teasing his fellow colleague, ignoring how you were starting to get impatient, glancing down the corridor and back to the bickering friends.

“How even-”

"Well, I would more than like to consult the lovely, charming clown please, because I have a whole circus on my hands and need some help.”

That was all that was needed to regain all attention back. Seonghwa gave Wooyoung one last sidelong stare before focusing on you, attempting to figure out just what you were scheming. He knew better than to pry, however, if there was anyone in your relationship who was an expert in dissecting, be it literally or metaphorically, it would be you. That was exactly why he stood and waited with bated breath, fingertips dancing on his upper thigh. In trepidation, the young man’s mind replayed every shared moment with unfathomable clarity, leading him to wonder if this mischievous glint in your stunning orbs was further foreshadowing, much like your sudden announcement that you would be working the same hours as him today, and upon questioning passed it off as “a bit of Christmas luck”. 

“Right…” Wooyoung’s voice appeared distant, barely audible against the thrum of nervousness and lighthearted suspicion. Running a hand through his wavy, neatly parted long hair Seonghwa gave you a lopsided grin before following you down the corridor and giving his colleague an amiable wave, along with a cheerful call of “see you later”. His friend had the whole night ahead of them - much like you and Seonghwa. Except, unfortunately, you and your partner were floors, departments away. Not that far in the grand scheme of things, but far enough for Seonghwa’s heart to start hurting when he least expected it.

Just like now, despite you being within arm’s reach, the proximity reminded him of just how much of a luxury such moments were, and how, should anything go wrong, you would metaphorically evaporate. The beeping of a pager would be enough to make you or him leave, that damned device having to be strapped on and prioritised above everything else. As less and less time remained until Christmas, the probability of it going off climbed higher and higher, so every step was a risk, and every scheduled consultation or out-patient care call when Seonghwa was mandated to hand off his monitoring duties to another resident - a temporary salvation.

You were in your scrubs, and were sporting a standard issue doctor’s coat, ever so professional. Though your back was facing him, Seonghwa could easily imagine the identity card clipped to the pocket above your heart, along with the embroidered hospital name and emblem, and your department. Neurosurgery. The top of the top, an art and a science so complex that Seonghwa was in awe of you eternally. How you dedicated your life to the mystery behind a person’s eyes, and how you could heal the terrifyingly enigmatic organ with astounding success. Determined, passionate in all ways, that was what had drawn the enamoured man to you, and what had made him fall deeper and deeper and vow to stay for as long as you would allow him. Would you be fine with him tagging along, just like this? Would you be willing to walk in the same stride?

“Hwa,” turning your head, you exclaimed your boyfriend’s nickname and then turned back to scan your pass to let you both through to another corridor, “how has your day been so far, lovely?”

“It’s been good, not too bothersome. Last appointment was a vaccination - not sure how or why the literal holidays were chosen for this, but who am I to judge,” looking around, Seonghwa responded. Quickly, he caught up to you, and in a matter of moments you felt how his fingers intertwined with yours, and his palm was pressed against you, as though a mirror image. Jigsaw pieces falling into a perfect union, your hands, stilled in harmony. 

“Maybe not everyone wants to skip school,” you mused, poking fun at the times when your boyfriend did just that - at least before university and him choosing to major in medicine hit like a truck; in the blissful middle and high school days, so easy in retrospect - a fever dream. 

“I’d love to hear what the little patient would think about that one… but really, Christmas? Why would you run the risk of having side effects over Christmas?”

“That’s true… but I bet you made the appointment a really good time. In fact, from what I have heard I am sure you did,” you teased, making Seonghwa squeeze your hand and click his tongue in pretend annoyance.

“Hey, I’m trying my best here-”

“-and you are making the world a better place,” you cut him off, squeezing back and urging him on, closer and closer to your final destination. 

Seonghwa shook his head, bewildered at the sudden outburst of affection. You were normally not the kind to get too sappy at work - if anyone, it was him who would gush about the simplest things to you during a brief lunch break, while you would be nodding along with a grin on your face. You were excited about something, without a doubt. What it was, however, was beyond him, so he let you lead, while playfully questioning your behaviour.

“What’s gotten into you? Did you forget to put the plates back in the cupboard at home?” he squinted, slightly relieved when you chuckled but still left without a concrete answer:

“Can’t I praise the love of my life every once in a while?”

“You can, but-”

“-Besides, Yeosang, you know, my friend from paediatric neurosurgery, he said kids who you had treated talk about you non-stop. Maybe you should pay some of them a visit. If their treating doctors allow it, of course.”

Eyes widening, Seonghwa barely noticed you slipping away from him to grab a large bag you had stationed by a heavy exit door, and in bewilderment was concerned if he should believe your overwhelmingly kind message. All those little lives he had the honour of getting to know and trying his best to help… remembering him? It was at times like these, even the hardest days were worth it. For the present and for the future. He returned to reality only when he felt a gust of freezing cold air hit his form and goosebumps ran over his skin. Your proud, loving smile greeted him and encouraged him to walk on. When Seonghwa attempted to query your spontaneous adventurism, you waved it off - forward, only forward. Making a note of something fluffy in texture peeking out of the bag, he hoped for it to be at least a scarf; a doctor should know to not expose themselves to the risk of colds. 

You led Seonghwa to one of the many secluded areas of the hospital - forgotten by most staff, this portion of the roof was the prettiest at night, when the lights of surrounding high rises and the rest of the metropolis stretching out as far as the eye could see all glimmered like a blanket of stars laid down on the precious planet. The city, forever awake, bustling with activity. A hand brushed against his upper arm, and he turned his head to see you holding his coat that he swore he had left in the call room. Gingerly, the article was in his grasp, and yet another question was travelling for you to tackle:

“Now when did you get this? I know I did not just leave it lying around.”

“Mhm, call room. Coat hanger. By the door. I am very aware. I picked it up on the way.”

“Sounds like someone had a lot of time…” trailing off, Seonghwa put on the coat, watching as you did the same. Apparently, that was not all that was in the bag, and with each item that was revealed, his surprise grew and grew.

“Just enough to prepare a little something,” in one swift movement, you caught your boyfriend off guard with sudden Santa hat attack - nearly covering his eyes with the white fluff, previously styled hair shooting out in different directions from under the accessory, you still deemed the mission successful, and giggled, elaborating: “now, we match.”

He could not not love you. Much like the nights in December were dark and his exhales turned to steam that was to be whisked away by the wind, he was confident in the fact that he was born to love you, and only you. It was funny to think that years ago he thought of other kinds of forever, only for them to fall apart in months. Seonghwa mused about different realities, but was never afraid of losing them until inevitably happened; not because he did not care at all, but because his heart was never in the right place. Now that his heart was home, it was clear. Most of all, the clearest sign of the truth that belonged to your relationship, was the subconscious fear, continuous and blended into every note of adoration. It was in his love for you that he found what it meant to be afraid to lose. 

The young man did not want to lose these priceless moments - how you would make an elaborate plan and surprise him with it. How out of nowhere, before his very eyes was a blanket that you laid down on the roof, a portable heater that emitted a glow akin to that of a campfire, and a large wool throw that he assumed you wished to use to keep you both warm. That shine that he swore was coming from something heavenly within you as you dragged him to take a seat, your adorable cooing over him as you wrapped the two of you tight with the throw, and scooched until your body was pressed against his. On instinct, Seonghwa’s arm was around you, and he leaned in until he could smell the faint, comforting aroma of your strawberry shampoo. Staring into the heater, he imagined a gentle flame, falling into a beautiful daydream - a world where there was just you and him.

This was a long-standing fantasy of his, a picture of which he had painted for you many times while you counted stars on the ceiling of your bedroom, drifting off to sleep just before the chirping of the birds, the dawn bidding you farewell and wishing a good rest. Somewhere nowhere, in a place with no name, surrounded by no one and nothing, you two could stay for a little while and indulge in simplicity. An escape from the daily stresses, a dive into the daily bliss of being enamoured and having found one’s soulmate. In a little cottage that you two could rent out, with a little spot outside so you could pretend like you were properly camping, Seonghwa prayed for time in an earthly utopia. 

“I couldn’t find sticks, So I hope you are fireproof,” a marshmallow was held between two delicate fingers right before his eyes. A large, white cloud and a hint that you might have been listening a lot more intently than you had let on. 

“I- are we- are we about to be toasting marshmallows?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” the doctor followed your lead, stretching out his hand to the heater, imagining the marshmallow roast away; if Seonghwa were to squint hard enough, he could almost see the colour change.

A giggle escaped you, and you huddled into him, at peace due to the safety which you always said he naturally oozed. Without fail you told him how he was a walking spring day, a blessing, a shining star. The more you said it, the more confident he became in accepting the words as truth, and then, one day when he caught you admiring him from afar while waiting for him to finish rounds, acceptance turned into a fact. By loving you, and by letting you love him, Seonghwa learned to love himself. Thoughts of fond memories prompted him to give you a gentle poke, making you lift your head in perplexion. This, however, was quickly dispelled by a the sweetest kiss, deepened by a gentle hand that found purchase on the nape of your neck.

Lips so familiar, so addicting; each time they met was the kindling of a miniature paradise. A journey through time, to end only in the future, the present turned into a miracle in which he could immerse himself, all of his senses attuned to you. The touch of your lips was the rays of a sun in May, kind and soothing, blossoming into the finest beauty and the most satisfying serenity on verdant green leaves and gorgeous flowers. The only thing he could hear was the breeze creeping across the not quite as picturesque cement and metal, and the ghost of a mumble of “I love you” as you parted for air, still close enough to share it.

Lost in your eyes, Seonghwa wished he could never be found. He was willing to endlessly draw the maze that trapped him in them, adapting it to formulate a personal infinity. Eyelashes, eyebrows, nose, cheeks, lips, every blemish and freckle and scar were all priceless to him. You, in all your personal divinity, a universe that so intently studied him, loved every part unconditionally and invited him in to do the same. A symbiosis, a system of two stars orbiting one another - a gorgeous celestial waltz was how he saw you and him. Under the night sky full of constellations, you two were still the brightest. Seonghwa’s heart was full. He ever so softly let his hand slide to the side of your face, thumb gliding slowly over the skin of your cheek. Once, twice - perpetual motion, each one marking another second in which love grew stronger, and the yearning for his dream more intense. If only he could put it into words. And yet, courage only allowed him to muster a mere two which were far too general, ambiguous:

“Thank you.”

“I am glad we could do this,” you answered, sharing in his delight. You did not need anything else, seeing past the mellow, pleasant triviality.

“I think the only downside is that now I want to do this all the time,” his hand guided your head into the crook of his neck, so you could sit side by side, looking out into the urban expanse. Silence weighed on you, until a long-awaited suggestion reached Seonghwa’s ears.

“Well… we could. At least for Christmas.” 

“As if we will be taking days off, yeah.”

“Who says we won’t?”

“I- huh?” 

You took his hands in yours, and shuffled for you to be face to face. Much to your astonishment, when it came down to the critical moment when you would start being blatantly obvious in your intentions, you were not as anxious anymore. Everything felt more than right, and the comfortable quietude resembled the globe holding its breath for you. 

“I have an idea,” your boyfriend was intrigued, but doubtful. He had hopes, sure, but he knew better than to keep them up, “so… ahem, well, for us it is standard practice to not schedule anything major on holidays, just in case, and thankfully I could… reschedule some things…”

“Uh-huh,” he nodded along, raising his eyebrow. Your hands held his more tightly on their own accord, shaking a little as you spoke.

“Well, so, yeah, you know how the head of… the head of paediatrics is a big family person right?”

“Yeah, comes with the job I suppose, and?” tongue darting over his lips, Seonghwa began to sense what you were getting at, and he swore there was not enough oxygen to sustain him, and a dizziness settled over his mind, clouding it, leaving behind only you, you, you-

“Hm… well… I think they would be more than happy to let a new family celebrate together… yeah?”

“...Yeah…yeah?”

“So what I’m saying is-”

“Will you marry me?”

“Beat me to it,” gleaming, you pulled him in, stopping a mere few millimetres away, seeking approval.

Hints of tears welling in his deep brown eyes induced your own. Pressed forehead to forehead, you memorised every tiny detail, how you felt, how Seonghwa felt, how you were both fondly mumbling ‘yes's and ‘always’s and ‘I love you’s over and over again; vows uttered at the beginning of a new chapter of a miraculous life, in perfect harmony.

“I’m sorry for the ‘no ring’ situation-”

“I’d marry you with paper rings,” Seonghwa responded at the speed of light, quoting one of the many songs that both of you loved to listen to, and would blast in the living room many times over, “how did you even plan this-”

“Don’t bash me, but Wooyoung was an accomplice-”

“Of course he was,” he flicked your nose with his and guided you into another kiss, your hat sliding away and almost falling to the ground, saved only by Seonghwa’s reflexes. Smiling against your lips, he only deepened the sensual expression of devotion, parting simply to confess,

“To think we were rehearsing the same thing but I was too scared to say it.”

“You are too precious. And I’m sorry if I’m too scary, angel,” you winked, earning an amused, airy laugh.

This could not be the furthest from how Seonghwa felt; the notion of you terrifying him was hilarious. Everything but you was the issue. You were his safe haven, his clarity. The one to whom he had already given away all his hours, be it in closeness or in his dreams both in the day and night. You were his and he was yours, and now that the one change he had been begging all the goodness in the galaxy for finally happened, he wanted to shout this from every rooftop, starting from this fated, isolated spot that must have been made for just you two. 

“No, I am just more certain that you can read minds,” he gestured to the heater, the untouched marshmallows, the stars, and finally stopped at you, alluding to what was to be your proposal, turned mutual.

“Just because I poke around brains-” you began, only to be stopped by unparalleled cuteness in the form of a scrunched up face and a tiny smirk.

“Yeah, yeah, you aren’t even a cardiologist and you stole my heart-”

“Park Seonghwa, cease the flirting, we are getting married-” playfully, you slap his shoulder.

“Oh, you only saw the beginning,” a wiggle of the eyebrows. Your very soul fluttered at the sight of his megawatt grin, and the innocent peck left on your cheek.

“...I hope so,” your wish. To cherish the many sides, colours, shades, edges, angles of your spectacular Seonghwa.

“It’s decided. I’ll hit you with all the festive pick up lines starting tomorrow.”

As you settled back into an embrace, regarding the golden glow of your inner oasis that transposed onto all, previously dark, surroundings, you unwillingly played the role of the realist.

“Ask your department head first.”

“For a blessing?”

“No, silly, to confirm your freedom.”

“Yes, Doc’,” in jest, your fiance saluted you, and you wrapped your arms tighter around his waist, brushing your jaw against his shoulder.

“Page me after."

“I will page myself across the hospital to tell you.”

“Awh, my Seonghwa Claus and my present in one,” absent-mindedly, you reached for a stubborn strand of his hair to push away, and twirled it around your digits, careful to not ruin the perfect balance of the themed hat beneath which they tried to establish their own order, threatening to disturb your elated angel. 

“My future spouse- oh I’ll be saying this so often.” 

From one day to the next, under the sun and moon, with many seasons passing by, you became the time that you seeked and previously fought against. As you looked to one another for more and more in your lives, it was destined that eventually, the idea of any other path would be simply impossible. At the end of a year came a new beginning, witnessed by the observant stars and by the long winter night.

“Me too, my love, until I can call you my husband.”

🩺 perma-taglist: @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @jaehunnyy @kitten4sannie @maddkitt @lightinyreads @ren-junwrld @pyeonghongrie-main @marsstarxhwa @pocketjoong-reads @alyszaen @yeooclock @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @lucky-cat-cafe @northerngalxy

enjoyed? please consider reblogging and leaving a comment. thank you, much love!

[moonkissedvisions]

𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕿𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖙 𝖇𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖍 𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉𝖘 ☾

UNVEIL THE CORE ESSENCE OF YOUR BEING, PERSONALITY, AND PURPOSE WITH TAROT CARDS

Introduction:

We understand all Tarot cards as symbols. They essentially represent different aspects of our lives that reside in our souls and our subconscious minds. When we read Tarot cards, we are reading our energy, we are intuitively looking at our subconscious. We think of them as a mirror that reflects the multiple dimensions of our spirit to help us understand situations much better, and make our life more conscious and meaningful.

What are Tarot birth cards?

Tarot birth cards are symbols that shape our identity and lives from the moment we are born. They are our essence, an energy imprint, or even a map - like a birth chart but for Tarot cards- that can unlock a new understanding of ourselves, and all the potential of our life purpose.

Each of us has a pair of Major Arcana cards that represent our core self, so today I decided to explain all combinations. I explained the cards separately so you can combine them and see intuitively how they play out in your life.

Also, be noted that I only explain the "light" manifestation of each of them. So for example, if it says "selfless" the shadow aspect/backward expression of them is the opposite, "selfish". Or if it says "truth-seeker" its shadow would be "know-it-all". If you are curious about the shadow aspect of your birth cards or anything about them you can send me a question and I'll be happy to help.

Hey, don't forget to check out the awesome video link at the end of the post! It's worth watching if you want to dive deeper into the topic. Have a great time exploring!

Now let´s calculate yours!

and hope you enjoy it *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

How do I calculate mine?

The easiest way for me is to use the same method that we use to calculate our Life path number in numerology:

We add each digit of our birth date

m+m+d+d+y+y+y+y

Example: 11/22/1989

1+1+2+2+1+9+8+9= 33

2. We reduce it

3+3= 6

6 is The Lovers and The Devil (6 and 15).

As you can see, we got a pair of numbers that corresponds to a pair of Major Arcana cards.

important: IF YOU GET A 19, YOU HAVE TO REDUCE IT TWICE AND YOU´LL GET 3 MAJOR ARCANA: 19 (The Sun) -> 1+9=10 (The Wheel of Fortune) -> 1+0=1 (The Magician).

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

1 and 10: The Magician, The Wheel of Fortune

The Magician: This energy has the ability to manifest anything. Your essence is skilled, cunning, tricky, scheming. You posses autonomy and initiative. You are an independent thinker. You have a great potential, but you also put in the work and have a lot of fun in the process. You are diplomatic and you reject bias. Entrepreneur. Self-motivated. You are honest and direct.

The Wheel of Fortune: You are lucky or at least, you know how to feel lucky to attract blessings. You understand the cycles of life and therefore you have the ability to co-create with the Universe intelligently. You often get surprised by the events in your life. You know how to use opportunities in your favor. Manifesting is something that you probably did consciously since young.

19: The Sun (ALSO READ 1 AND 10)!

Adding to 1 and 10 cards, The Sun supplies your soul of creativity, popularity, happiness, honesty, harmony and serenity. You are a good friend. You are loyal and bring harmony, love and satisfaction to everyone´s lives. You are a leader, a celebrity, and people look up to you.

2 and 11: The High Priestess, Justice

The High Priestess: You are sensitive and wise. You are aware of the subtle, small details. You are able to find the point of unity, the basics of the Universe, and you understand how everything is connected. You are intuitive, compassionate, and loving. You excel at anything related to the occult, the mysteries of the Universe and human psyche, and anything related to relationships, unions, and secrets.

Justice: You are unbiased, rational, harmonious. You know what´s right and what´s wrong and trust in natural order and the balance of things. You value truth more than anyone else. You are good with law, philosophy, and karma.

2 and 20: The High Priestess, Judgment

Same qualities above for the High Priestess, combined with Judgment.

Judgment: The Judgment card adds in to the HP themes of awakening, spirituality, renovation. You may be someone who questions the status quo and the established norms and structures. You have the calling to awaken other people so you can rebuild and improve the system. You could connect to different dimensions and be a medium or have psychic abilities. You are otherworldly. You are also highly empathetic and sensitive.

3 and 12: The Empress, The Hanged Man

The Empress: You enjoy helping other people, creating, and giving birth to something. You embody kindness, intelligence, expressiveness, communication and abundance. You are dynamic and could be good at doing many things, you likely do all at the same time. You are good at communicating your ideas with others and you give others creative insights.

The Hanged Man: You are artistic, original, altruistic and idealistic. You see the world from a different perspective and you always contribute with clever ideas. You are witty and have the potential to become a genius. You are generous.

3 and 21: The Empress, The World

Here the qualities of the Empress are combined with those of The World card, so your creativity results in perfection, success, wholeness, finding your place in the world, feeling and being rewarded, self-realization. You are someone generous who help people with their creations and you make them realize their special place in the world as well. You are greatly admired. You are positive about people and life.

4 and 13 : The Emperor, Death

The Emperor: You are gifted with stability, strength, structure and practicality. You are powerful, hard-working and generous. You have integrity and good morals. You protect what needs protection and give structure and functionality to things. You are methodical and pragmatic.

Death: Death combined with the Emperor can reestructure and make radical changes to the world. You know when things need to die and be rebirthed in new forms. You can transform the world with authority, integrity and diligency.

In case you got 4 and 22, The 22 can be considered The Fool. You can either consider the Fool along with The Emperor and Death, or only read the explanation above and dismiss it. If you choose to consider the Fool, read below:

The Fool: I picture it as if you were the Emperor but with a good sense of humor, carefree, crazy, not making sense at times, chaotic, and extravagant. It makes me think of "dad jokes". You do not take anything too seriously. You restructured things spontaneously and the result may not make a lot of sense. Or it could be that you make more of a freedom-oriented restructure/change. You are an innocent and energetic leader. Maybe you don´t even understand why people may see you as a leader or follow you, because you don´t even take yourself seriously and are very disorganized, lol.

(edit): When I was writing about this combo, the new president of Argentina Javier Milei came to my mind. He talks about re-structuring the country, making economic transformations, solving the problems of the economy and poverty, and changing the country for the better. But he also has a silly personality, he's kinda funny and people make fun of him, they call him crazy, they even speculate about him having mental illnesses, and he doesn't make sense to A LOT of people. At that time I was lazy to search for his number but I just did and you know what? He is a 4 and a 22. 😳

5 and 14: The Hierophant, Temperance

The Hierophant: You are a teacher, someone wise who shares their knowledge and wisdom. You are patient, merciful, and modest. You guide others to goodness. You respect religion, tradition and family structures with open-mindedness and flexibility. You see everything as an experience and adventure and you like exploring different philosophies without getting attached.

Temperance: You can adapt to different people, ideas and environments, and you can bring different people together with peace, harmony and respect. You have the ability to solve conflicts. This combo makes a mentor, a guru, or a coach. You are balanced in logic and emotions and you are seen as mature.

6 and 15 (or 33): The Lovers, The Devil

The Lovers: Opposite forces, love, complements. You know how to love, not only other people but the whole Universe. You are a sensual person. You appreciate beauty, art and can excel at many different things. You are a gentle person who is good at making decisions that brings in the frequency of love to your environment. Everything you do is coded with love and passion.

The Devil: You are passionate, magnetic. You border limits. You are highly influential in whatever you do. You can control and manipulate others, which is not necessarily a bad thing, it´s just that you understand human psychology and can easily get the attention of others. With this combo you can captivate, tempt and induce lust and desire in others, so you may be working in art, music, writing, marketing, design, even animation and programming.

I also like to think of The Lovers as oxytocin and The Devil as adrenaline/dopamine. Dopamine and oxytocin together make love and bring new life into the world.

7 and 16: The Chariot, The Tower

The Chariot: You are someone intelligent, energetic, analytic, and introspective, who fights for radical changes and the evolution of society. You are a truth-seeker. You are fearless. You challenge the status quo and strive for spiritual and material progress. You are curious and love to learn new things that can change the world for the better.

The Tower: You mercilessly and strongly destruct what doesn´t serve the evolution of society and humanity. You break the equilibrum to build a better one. You are a rebel. You know that the truth always comes to light, and you also make it happen. You show the world what they couldn´t see and that's why you could be triggering. But it´s for the good. You challenge wrong convictions, judgments and beliefs, and you completely destruct them.

8 and 17: Strength, The Star

Strength: You are someone resilient. You know the importance of controlling your actions, impulses, thoughts, emotions and everything you do with mental strength and intelligence. You know that if you manage your own forces, you can achieve all of your goals and also help others do the same. You are very determined and optimistic. You like to work hard, not only for yourself but for others. You are an example of the word management and you like being in charge.

The Star: You give others hope and enlightment. You are inspiring. You can provide a lot of healing and regeneration. You are selfless and generous. You are strong in faith, and that way you can give others the reassurance that they need. You see the good in everything and that is what helps you get you good results and be succesful.

9 and 18: The Hermit, The Moon

The Hermit: You are interested in seeing what others can´t see. You look through things. You are deeply intuitive and contemplative. You search for answers in yourself by being in silence, in solitude, and looking inwards at your subconscious mind. You are wise, capable of offering advice and solving problems or mysteries. You are the healer who heals yourself first. You are personally uninterested in worldly matters and detached from the material.

The Moon: You can see through illusions and imagination because you connect to the dream realm. You are a good psychoanalyst. You are good with the occult. You are attracted to the unknown. You are a researcher, a detective, a healer of the most mysterious diseases. You are deeply spiritual and adventurous.

Carl Jung had this combo as his birth cards and I think this quote from him really represents it: Who looks outside dreams (The Moon), who looks inside awakes (The Hermit). The funny thing is, I didn´t know he had them when I read it and thought about the cards, but I was sure he had to be and I searched it, lol. I also have these as my cards so...

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

I hope you enjoyed this post and that it was helpful! Thank you for your support and please, keep supporting me if you like this one 🌷

video about birth cards

PAC: Messages from the Divine Feminine

PAC: Healing Messages

PAC: Your beauty

PAC: Your natural gifts

[callsigns-haze]

Loves Haze

Eris x Rhysand's Sister!Reader

Summary: When the finally memory hit, the acknowledge of Eris and Y/N being alive only started a new legacy.

*can be read alone but serves as a sequel with my series Memories fade

Back to beginning

Summary: Y/N wakes up from the dead, overwhelmed by confusion and grief, learning about her miraculous revival and Eris' survival, breaking down in tears as the nurses comfort her. She prepares to reunite with Eris and face their new beginning.

Lock it in

Summary: Y/N and Eris solidify their bond through an intimate meal, leading to a passionate night that deepens their love and connection. In the quiet of their cabin, they find solace and joy in each other's embrace.

Right part

Summary: Eris and Y/N bask in the serene night, discussing their future children under the stars, their love and dreams intertwining in the tranquil embrace of their shared future.

Morning surprise

Summary: Eris and Y/N share an intimate morning, deepening their bond and reflecting on their future together. Afterward, Eris tenderly cares for Y/N, emphasizing the depth of his love and devotion.

Baby Spark

Summary: YN and Eris welcome their newborn son Finna into the world after a long and arduous labor, solidifying their bond and vowing to give him a life filled with love and joy. Despite their hidden existence, their family's strength and unity shine through as they cherish the beginning of their new life together.

Lucky

Summary: Y/N and Eris experience their first night home alone with their newborn son, Finna. As they navigate the challenges of soothing their baby, they share playful moments and deep affection, ultimately finding comfort in each other and the new addition to their family.

Not like him

Summary: Eris juggles his responsibilities as a leader and a new father, struggling with memories of his cruel upbringing. Overwhelmed by self-doubt, he fears becoming like his father, Beron. With the support of his advisor, Borra, Eris finds strength in his bond with his son, Finna, and reaffirms his commitment to his family.

Ace of the aces

Summary: Eris wakes up alone, realizing Y/N has taken their son, Finna, out for the morning. As he starts a fire and picks up a book, he drifts back to sleep. He wakes to Y/N and Finna returning home with a new hunting hound puppy, bringing back memories of his own twelve hounds from childhood.

Little guard

Summary: Eris attempts to put Finna down for a nap, only to have Ace bark in protest, showing his desire to stay close to the baby. Eris and Yn watch with affection as Ace settles into his role as Finna's protector.

An outburst of a spark

Summary: Eris and Y/N discover their son Finna has powerful magic after a dramatic outburst, leaving Eris panicked and uncertain. Together, they resolve to support and guide Finna, reaffirming their bond as a family.

When the stars fall

request: I feel like we NEED to see how do they celebrate starfall as a family! I would die to see Eris with baby Finna trying to make everything perfect for Y/N as she definitely misses starfall with her brother. I feel that Eris would do everything to make it perfect!!!

Baby traitor

Request: I would love to see Finnas first words and I think it would be hilarious if his first words would be the dogs name instead of dada and Eris just loosing his mind lol

Another?

Summary: During a late night adult time a big statement is dropped

The gain of loss

Part 2

Summary: Y/N and Borra venture into Valkyrie ruins to find training scrolls for Finna, only to encounter the Inner Circle and feel a sudden, intense pain in her lower abdomen. Borra quickly winnows them back home, where Y/N faces the unknown cause of her pain, determined to protect her family.

Rest now my love

Summary: Eris cares for a bedridden Y/N, ensuring she rests following their recent loss while balancing the needs of their baby, Finna. Amidst their struggle, they find solace and strength in their unwavering love and support for each other.

Happy 1st spark

Summary: Finna turns one and Eris and Y/N need to make it special

So he did it?

Summary: Y/N returns home after a difficult visit to the healer, burdened by the news of how magical force fields had impacted her pregnancy and her diminished chances of conceiving again. Eris greets her with concern and support, creating a moment of quiet solace as she prepares to confront the heavy truths ahead.

Puppy litter

Summary: Eris discovers that Ace, their loyal hound, has fathered a litter with a pregnant female dog. They decide to name the dog Charlie, and Y/N introduces their one-year-old son, Finna, to their new family member. Despite Finna’s adorable attempts to say Charlie’s name, Ace remains fiercely protective of his new companion, signalling the start of a new chapter for their growing family.

Happy birthday Star

Summary: Y/N's birthday has came upon the household and Eris and his son will do everything to make it perfect

Water Baby

Summary: Eris and Y/N enjoy a perfect day by the lake, playing with Finna

Goodbye

Summary: Y/N struggles with the emotional weight of leaving Eris and Finna for a year of intense training, leading to a tearful and comforting night in Eris's arms.

Loves separation

Summary: Once they are separated the family finally understands its worth

Welcome home

Summary: The family is finally back together

Round two Baby

Summary: Eris and Y/N confront their fears and embrace hope as they learn of Y/N's new pregnancy, vowing to face the challenges ahead together.

Sequel

Tagging some who may be interested:

@callsign-magnolia

@kmc1989

@hardballoonlove

@senawashere

@hookslove1592

@marvel-molly

@lucky7rosie

@daughterofthemoons-stuff

@lilah-asteria

@crossfandomslut

@pit-and-the-pen

@inky-sun

@the-sweet-psycho

@why4anne

@bunnyredgirl

@rcarbo1

@pandabiiissh

@adalia-jaycee

@marvelsmylife

@swiftie-4-lifes-stuff

[jadeshifting]

— THE HOGWARTS YEARBOOK

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the Hogwarts yearbook is a chaotic masterpiece, run by an elite squad of overachievers, gossipmongers, and a few artsy types who take their job way too seriously. the Yearbook Club is basically the unofficial Ministry of Hogwarts gossip, with photographers sprinting through corridors like paparazzi and editors arguing over the perfect font for “Most Likely to Hex You in the Hallway.” every house is represented, but the Slytherins are suspiciously over-involved, ensuring the drama stays juicy and the layout stays immaculate

THE YEARBOOK TEAM

— EDITORS-IN-CHIEF . two students (usually a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin for “balance”) who rule the team with an iron wand. they’re perfectionists, bickering over which Quidditch action shots make the cut and vetoing any “unflattering” portraits of themselves

— PHOTOGRAPHERS . they’re either snooping in the Astronomy Tower for couple pics or camped out in the Great Hall to catch someone mid-chew

— DESIGN WIZARDS . the artsy crowd who charm illustrations to move, ensuring every page sparkles with subtle animations (stars twinkle and wink on Astronomy Club photos and the like)

— COPYWRITERS . they craft witty captions, most of which toe the line between clever and outright shady

— SUPERLATIVE COMMITTEE . a ruthless crew who poll the school on absolutely everything, stirring up just enough controversy to keep people talking without outright duels breaking out (usually)

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YEARBOOK SECTIONS

HOUSE HIGHLIGHTS . a spread for each house, with moodboard-like aesthetics. Gryffindor’s page has bold golden flames, while Slytherin’s practically drips with emerald and silver

— SLYTHERIN ‘AMBITION IN ACTION’ … emerald green with silver accents, Slytherin’s spread screams luxury with bite (surely it helps that one of the co-editors-in-chief is a Slytherin.) there’s a glam shot of the Quidditch team and a list of students’ most cunning moves—like that time Daphne slipped out of detention with an alibi so flawless McGonagall was impressed. the “Most Likely to Dominate the Wizarding World” section is basically a Slytherin monopoly, and the style feature highlights impeccable robes and shameless confidence. bonus? a gossip sidebar titled “whispers in the dungeon,” because secrets are currency, and they’ve got plenty

— GRYFFINDOR ‘COURAGE CHRONICLES’ … fiery red with gold accents, the Gryffindor spread practically roars with action shots—Quidditch players mid-dive, daring pranks in the Great Hall, and someone’s epic leap over a cursed stair. a “Daring Feats of the Year” section (sneaking into the Forbidden Forest again), plus a tally of House points earned through sheer audacity. Superlatives like “Most Likely to Save the Day” and “Biggest Trouble Magnet” dominate, while the “Common Room Candids” feature wild games of Wizard Chess and someone roasting marshmallows over the fireplace

— RAVENCLAW ‘INDEX OF INTELLECT’ … cool blues with bronze details, the Ravenclaw spread is the epitome of academic chic. a collage of parchment-strewn study tables, dreamy shots of the astronomy tower, and a “Top 10 Mind-Blowing Theories” list. there’s a feature on enchanted inventions created by Ravenclaws this year, plus a “Most Likely to Write Hogwarts: A History Vol. 2” superlative. the highlight reel showcases their Quiz Bowl domination, and a section called “Ravenclaw Riddles,” with the year’s most impossible questions and wildly creative answers

— HUFFLEPUFF ‘HEART OF HOGWARTS’ … sunshine yellow with black accents, Hufflepuff’s spread radiates warmth and quiet brilliance. a feature on the year’s most epic Herbology project (Venomous Tentacula that’s quite docile) and a “Badger of the Month” spotlight. the “House Unity” section is all about community moments—midnight baking sessions, garden parties, and celebrations after Quidditch wins. superlatives like “Most Likely to Lend You a Wand” and “Most Contagious Laughter” are sprinkled throughout, and the spread ends with a heartfelt note: “you don’t need the spotlight when you’re the glow behind it”

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CLUBS & COMMITTEES . features like “Behind the Scenes at the Dueling Club” and a “Potions Class Outtake Reel” section featuring exploding cauldrons

QUIDDITCH RECAP . full-page action shots, player stats, and a “Best Quidditch Fall” montage (with magically looping re-plays)

WIZARDING WORLD CURRENT EVENTS . students write essays about the biggest wizarding news throughout the school year, from Gringotts heists to controversial bans on experimental charms

THE SUPERLATIVES . the juiciest section, hands down (and what you’ve been waiting for, i’m sure)

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THE SUPERLATIVES

— Most Likely to Cause a Scandal

(an absolute favorite, hotly debated in the dormitories)

— Most Likely to Be Minister for Magic (or in Azkaban)

(usually goes to someone terrifyingly ambitious)

— Biggest Flirt

(complete with photographic evidence, yikes)

— Biggest Walking Detention Slip

(either breaking curfew, enchanting furniture, or ‘accidentally’ setting fire to something every other week)

— Class Clown

(when both the Weasley twins graduate, maybe someone else will have a shot)

— Most Likely to Cause a Quidditch Foul

(a Slytherin wins every year)

— Best Dressed

(a lowkey blood feud among Slytherin girls)

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DISTRIBUTION DAY

the yearbooks are unveiled in a massive, glitter-filled fest of grandeur in the Great Hall. copies literally soar to students’ tables, but a few always “go missing” and mysteriously resurface for their owners with secret annotations and doodles. sparkling and enchanted ink pens are handed out for people to sign each other’s books, and notes are exchanged with equal parts sarcastic laughs and heartfelt warmth

EXTRA EXTRA !!

— rumor has it there’s a banned page each year—filled with the wildest gossip, snogging scandals, and unapproved photos. only a select few ever see it

— the Restricted Section of the library holds all past yearbooks, dating back to Hogwarts’ founding, and rumor has it they’re enchanted to whisper secrets about their featured students

— this year’s “hidden Easter egg”? a charm that makes random yearbook pages occasionally shout out personal context when you flip through. it’s hilarious and fun… until it starts oversharing about your worst Transfiguration grade

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[polo-drone-001]

The Golden Eyes

Elliot had never been much of a soccer fan, but when his friend dragged him to the Golden Army’s championship match, he found himself mesmerized from the first whistle. The team moved like a single organism—every pass, every shot, perfectly synchronized. But it wasn’t their skill alone that captivated him.

It was their eyes.

Every player had glowing, golden eyes that seemed to shimmer brighter under the stadium lights. Each glance from the field felt as though it was directed straight at Elliot, even from across the roaring crowd. His pulse quickened, his breath catching every time one of those radiant gazes met his own. It was impossible to look away, as if their eyes carried a magnetic pull.

By halftime, Elliot could barely sit still. His heartbeat seemed to sync with the players’ movements, each thundering step echoing in his chest. The crowd’s cheers faded into the background as his focus locked entirely on the team. He didn’t know why, but he felt like he needed to be closer—to see those eyes up close.

When the Golden Army scored their final goal, sealing their victory, the crowd erupted. Elliot stood frozen, his eyes fixed on the team huddling together in celebration. The captain, Scott, stood in the center, his golden eyes glowing brighter than the rest. For a fleeting moment, Scott turned his head, locking eyes with Elliot. A smirk tugged at the captain’s lips, and he nodded slightly, as if inviting him.

Elliot’s legs moved on their own as he made his way down toward the field. He didn’t stop to think about how or why he was allowed past security. It was as though invisible strings were guiding him. Before he knew it, he stood outside the team’s locker room, his heart pounding.

The door opened, and Scott stepped out, still in his golden jersey, his broad shoulders and confident stance almost intimidating. Up close, his eyes were impossibly hypnotic, swirling with liquid gold.

“You made it,” Scott said, his voice deep and smooth. He gestured for Elliot to follow. “Come in. There’s something I think you’ll find interesting.”

Elliot stepped inside, the room bathed in a soft golden glow. The players stood in a line, their jerseys glinting under the lights, their golden eyes fixed on him. It was overwhelming, yet exhilarating. He felt like prey caught in the gaze of predators, and he liked it.

“What... what is this?” Elliot managed to ask, his voice trembling.

“This,” Scott said, stepping closer, “is unity. Power. Brotherhood. The golden gaze is our bond, and through it, we share strength and purpose.”

Scott reached for a golden jersey hanging nearby and held it out. “But it’s not just our eyes that bind us. It’s the gear. The jersey. Once you wear it, you’ll understand.”

Elliot’s hands shook as he took the jersey. The fabric was warm to the touch, almost alive. He hesitated, but the players’ eyes bore into him, silently urging him forward.

“Put it on,” Scott commanded, his tone leaving no room for doubt.

Elliot slipped the jersey over his head. The moment it touched his skin, a wave of heat surged through him. His vision blurred for a moment, then sharpened, the golden glow of the room intensifying. He felt his heartbeat sync even more deeply with the team’s rhythm, his mind clearing of all thoughts except one: belonging.

Scott placed a hand on Elliot’s shoulder, his golden eyes piercing into his soul. “Welcome to the Golden Army. From now on, you’re one of us. Your purpose is our purpose. Your strength is our strength.”

Elliot nodded, his lips curling into a smile as the truth of Scott’s words settled into his mind. The players cheered, their voices harmonizing in a chant that resonated deep within his chest.

As Elliot looked around, his own eyes began to glow with the same golden light. He was no longer just an observer. He was part of the team—a brother bound by the golden gaze, ready to serve, to play, to obey.

Ready to embrace golden glory? Contact me @polo-drone-001, or our Caps, @brodygold and @goldenherc9, recruiter @hades-gold19, and take your first step into the Golden Army.

Unity. Strength. Victory awaits.

[novaursa]

Between the Flames (Part 1)

- Summary: You and Gwayne see each other after years of separation, as King Viserys I organizes a hunt for his son's nameday. But time is a cruel mistress.

- Paring: Gwayne Hightower/targ!reader/Daemon Targaryen

- Note: reader is referred to as Y/N, has silver hair, is bonded with Silverwing. Time is unspecified for events that take place, and there will be part 2. If you want to read parts before this in chronological order, visit my blog, the list is pinned to the top.

- Rating: Mature 16+ (there is no adult content present, but is mentioned)

- Word count: 4 252

- Tag(s): @deniixlovezelda @duck-duck-goose2 @aadu2173 @sachaa-ff

The camp is alive with the sounds of celebration, laughter ringing out over the open fields as the royal tents stand tall against the evening sky. The hunt is in full swing, with nobles from across the realm gathered to honor Aegon’s name day, a grand spectacle meant to showcase the strength and unity of the kingdom under King Viserys. The smell of roasting meat and the warmth of firelight create a welcoming atmosphere, though Gwayne Hightower feels none of it. His heart pounds with anticipation, his eyes scanning the sea of faces, searching.

It has been years since he last saw you, the young princess with a fierce spirit and a dragon’s heart. Time and distance have done nothing to diminish the ache within him, a longing that has only grown stronger with each passing day. He has resisted every effort by his father, Otto Hightower, to wed him to another. Every noble lady, no matter how beautiful or accomplished, has paled in comparison to you. The memory of your laughter, your fierce gaze, your bond with Silverwing—all of it haunts him still.

And now, with the excuse of his nephew’s name day, he has come here, determined to see you again.

Gwayne moves through the crowd, his eyes flicking from one face to another. Lords and ladies bow and curtsy as he passes, offering pleasantries and congratulations. He nods politely, but his mind is elsewhere, focused solely on finding you. 

At last, he spots you near the edge of the encampment, where the noise of the festivities begins to fade into the night. You stand with your back to him, your silver hair catching the firelight, creating a halo that makes you appear almost otherworldly. Your stance is strong, regal, a true daughter of the Targaryen line. For a moment, he hesitates, taking in the sight of you, as if afraid that moving too quickly might shatter the fragile reality of this moment.

Finally, he approaches, the sound of his boots crunching on the gravel as he closes the distance between you. When you turn, your eyes meet his, and it feels as though the world falls away. The years melt in an instant, leaving only the two of you standing there, as if no time at all has passed.

“Y/N,” Gwayne breathes your name, his voice betraying the depth of his emotion.

Your expression is unreadable at first, guarded, but then it softens ever so slightly, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. “Ser Gwayne,” you greet him, your voice as melodic as he remembers, though tinged with a maturity that comes from the experiences of the years apart. “It has been some time.”

“Far too long,” he agrees, his eyes searching yours for any sign that you might feel the same. “You are more radiant than I remember, if that is even possible.”

Your smile grows a touch wider, though there’s a shadow in your gaze, a flicker of something that he cannot quite name. “You have not changed at all, Gwayne. Still the same with your words.”

He chuckles softly, a sound that eases some of the tension in his chest. “And you are still as sharp as ever, my lady.”

There is a pause, a silence that stretches between you, filled with the unspoken weight of the years apart. Gwayne longs to reach out, to take your hand in his, but he holds back, uncertain of how you might respond. He notices how your gaze shifts slightly, as if looking beyond him, perhaps to the memories of what might have been—or to someone else.

“Have you enjoyed the festivities?” he asks, his voice carefully casual, though his heart is anything but.

“As much as one can enjoy such events,” you reply, your tone betraying a hint of weariness. “Though I confess, I find little joy in the politics that surround them.”

He nods in understanding, feeling a surge of protectiveness. “I would spare you from such things if I could,” he says softly, his eyes locking onto yours, his meaning clear.

Your gaze softens again, and for a moment, Gwayne dares to hope that perhaps you might still hold some affection for him. But then, as if reminded of something, your expression hardens ever so slightly, and you step back, creating a distance between you once more.

“We live in a world where such burdens cannot be avoided, Ser Gwayne,” you say, your voice firm. “We must all play our part.”

Gwayne feels a pang of disappointment, though he cannot fault you for it. You are a princess of the realm, your life governed by duty and expectations far beyond your control. He knows this, has always known it, but it does not make it any easier to accept.

“Of course,” he replies, bowing his head slightly. “But know that my feelings for you have not changed, Y/N. They never will.”

For a brief moment, something flashes in your eyes—regret, perhaps, or sadness. But it is gone as quickly as it came, replaced by the mask of composure that you wear so well.

“Thank you, Gwayne,” you say quietly, your voice tinged with a gentleness that cuts him deeper than any blade could. “You will always be a dear friend to me.”

Friend. The word lingers in the air between you, heavy with finality. Gwayne forces a smile, though it feels like a physical effort to do so. “And you to me, my princess.”

Just then, the sound of approaching footsteps reaches his ears, and he turns to see none other than Prince Daemon Targaryen striding toward you. The Rogue Prince’s presence is as commanding as ever, his gaze sharp as it settles on you, then flicks briefly to Gwayne, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.

“Y/N,” Daemon greets you, his voice laced with a familiarity that makes Gwayne’s stomach twist. “I’ve been looking for you. The fire needs more stoking.”

You smile at Daemon, a genuine warmth in your expression that Gwayne cannot help but notice. “I was just speaking with Ser Gwayne, Uncle.”

Daemon’s smirk widens, and he gives Gwayne a nod, though there’s a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Ser Gwayne. Always a pleasure.”

“The pleasure is mine, my prince,” Gwayne replies, forcing his voice to remain steady.

The moment between the three of you is charged, filled with undercurrents that Gwayne cannot fully grasp but feels deeply. He knows of Daemon’s reputation, his tendency to flout the rules and take what he desires without care for the consequences. The way Daemon looks at you, the ease with which he speaks to you—it all sends a fresh wave of unease through Gwayne.

“Well,” Daemon says, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before turning back to Gwayne. “I’m sure we’ll all have plenty of time to catch up later. But for now, Y/N, shall we?”

You nod, and as you turn to follow Daemon, you glance back at Gwayne one last time. There is something in your eyes, a silent apology, perhaps, or a farewell that cuts deeper than words could. And then you are gone, walking away with Daemon, leaving Gwayne standing alone in the fading light of the evening.

He watches you go, his heart heavy with the realization that though he may love you, though he may have refused all others for you, he is not the one who holds your heart. That honor, it seems, belongs to another—a man who is as different from him as fire is from water.

And so, as the sounds of the camp continue around him, Gwayne Hightower stands in the gathering darkness, his love for you unchanged, but his hopes for the future irrevocably altered.

The night air is cool against your skin as you walk beside Daemon, the distant sounds of the camp growing fainter with each step. The flames of the torches cast flickering shadows on the ground, mirroring the turmoil within your heart. Though your feet move forward, your thoughts remain with the man you left behind, the one whose name lingers on your lips like a prayer you cannot utter.

Gwayne Hightower.

You force yourself to focus on the path ahead, to keep pace with Daemon as he leads you further away from the others. His presence is a familiar one—commanding, intense, and undeniably magnetic. But tonight, even Daemon’s fiery spirit cannot chase away the chill that has settled over your soul.

It has been years since you and Gwayne were separated, years since the king denied his suit for your hand. You accepted your fate long ago, knowing that duty would always outweigh your desires. And yet, despite your best efforts to bury those feelings deep within, they have refused to die. The sight of Gwayne, the sound of his voice—it has brought everything rushing back, a flood of emotions you had thought you could control.

Daemon is silent as you walk, but you can sense the tension radiating from him. He is a man who thrives on attention, on being the center of everyone’s world, and he is not blind to your distraction. You can feel his eyes on you, sharp and probing, as if trying to unravel the thoughts that keep you so far from him in this moment.

Finally, he stops, turning to face you with an expression that is equal parts annoyance and curiosity. “You’re quiet tonight, niece,” he remarks, his tone deceptively light, though there’s an edge to it that you cannot ignore. “I find it… unsettling.”

You force a smile, though it doesn’t reach your eyes. “Do you now?” you reply, trying to keep your voice steady. “Perhaps I’m simply tired from the day’s events.”

Daemon’s gaze narrows, and he steps closer, his presence looming over you like a storm cloud. “Do not play games with me, Y/N,” he warns, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous rumble. “I know when your mind is elsewhere. And I know where it lingers.”

Your heart clenches painfully in your chest, the truth of his words cutting deeper than you care to admit. Of course, Daemon knows. He always knows. He has a way of seeing through the masks you wear, of peeling back the layers to reveal the raw, unfiltered emotions beneath. And now, he sees the ache in your heart, the longing that you cannot seem to hide.

“What does it matter?” you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “It changes nothing.”

“It matters because I’m here,” Daemon replies, his tone sharp, almost accusing. “And yet you’re still thinking of him. Of that knight who cannot give you what I can.”

You flinch at his words, the truth of them stinging like a physical blow. Daemon has always been blunt, unafraid to speak the things that others would avoid. But tonight, his words feel especially cruel, a reminder of the reality you have tried so hard to ignore.

“You think I don’t know?” Daemon continues, his eyes boring into yours. “You think I don’t see the way you look at him, even after all these years? The way your heart still aches for him, even though he’s not yours to have?”

Your breath catches in your throat, and you find yourself unable to meet his gaze. “It doesn’t matter,” you repeat, more to convince yourself than him. “I made my choice. I accepted it.”

“But you didn’t stop loving him,” Daemon says, his voice softer now, though no less intense. “No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t bury that part of you.”

The truth of his words is like a knife twisting in your chest, and you feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “No,” you admit, your voice trembling. “I couldn’t.”

There is a long silence between you, filled only by the distant crackling of the campfires and the rustle of the wind through the trees. Daemon watches you closely, his expression unreadable, as if weighing his next words carefully.

“I could kill him,” Daemon finally says, his voice as cold and cutting as Valyrian steel. “End his life and free you from this torment.”

The words send a shock through you, your eyes snapping up to meet his in alarm. There is no hint of jest in his tone, no trace of a smile on his lips. Daemon is deadly serious, and the realization sends a chill down your spine.

“You wouldn’t,” you say, though the uncertainty in your voice betrays your doubt.

Daemon’s lips curl into a dark smile, one that sends a shiver through you. “I would, if it meant ridding you of this pathetic attachment,” he says, his voice laced with a mix of cruelty and possessiveness. “I’d do anything to see you truly free.”

“Daemon, please,” you plead, your voice breaking. “Don’t speak of such things.”

He steps closer, his hand reaching out to cup your cheek, his touch surprisingly gentle despite the harshness of his words. “Then stop torturing yourself over a man you can never have,” he says, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes it hard to breathe. “He’s not worthy of your tears, Y/N. Not when you have me.”

You close your eyes, the warmth of his hand against your skin a stark contrast to the cold emptiness inside you. Daemon’s words are like a balm and a poison all at once, offering a twisted kind of comfort even as they deepen the wound in your heart.

“I don’t want to feel this way,” you whisper, the confession slipping out before you can stop it. “I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

Daemon’s hand moves to the back of your neck, pulling you closer until your foreheads are nearly touching. “Then let me make you forget,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin. “Let me give you something real to hold onto.”

For a moment, you allow yourself to lean into him, to take solace in his strength, his unyielding certainty. Daemon has always been a force of nature, a man who bends the world to his will without hesitation or regret. And in his arms, you can almost believe that he can chase away the shadows that cling to your heart, that he can make you forget the man who still haunts your dreams.

But deep down, you know the truth. You know that no matter how hard you try, no matter how desperately you cling to the life you’ve chosen, the love you hold for Gwayne will never truly fade. It is a part of you, as much as your blood, as much as the fire that burns in your veins.

“I can’t forget him,” you say, your voice barely audible. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”

Daemon’s grip on you tightens for a moment, as if in frustration, but then he lets out a low, resigned sigh. “Then live with it,” he says, his tone harsh but not unkind. “Live with the pain, but don’t let it control you. Don’t let it make you weak.”

You nod slowly, tears finally spilling over and tracing down your cheeks. “I’ll try,” you whisper, though even as you say the words, you know it will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

Daemon wipes the tears from your face with a rough tenderness that only he could manage, his expression softening as he looks at you. “You’re stronger than you think, Y/N,” he says quietly, his voice carrying a rare note of sincerity. “Don’t ever forget that.”

You meet his gaze, searching his eyes for the truth in his words. Daemon is many things—volatile, unpredictable, dangerous—but he has never lied to you, never sugar-coated the realities of the world you live in. And as much as his words sting, you know that there is truth in them.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, to find the strength to carry the burden of your love for Gwayne without letting it crush you. “Thank you,” you say, your voice still shaky, but there’s a resolve forming in your chest, a determination to survive the pain, even if you can never truly be free of it.

Daemon’s expression softens further, and he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, a rare gesture of affection from a man who so often uses force to get what he wants. “We’ll get through this,” he murmurs against your skin. “You and me. We always do.”

You nod, though you cannot find the words to respond. Instead, you simply close your eyes and allow yourself to take comfort in the warmth of his presence, the solid weight of his hand on the back of your neck. For tonight, at least, you can pretend that the ache in your heart is something you can live with, that the choice you made all those years ago was the right one.

But as you stand there, wrapped in Daemon’s embrace, you know that the love you hold for Gwayne Hightower will never truly die. It will live on, a silent ghost that lingers at the edges of your heart, haunting you even as you move forward with your life.

And perhaps that is your fate—to live with the echoes of a love that could never be, even as you forge a path forward with the man who stands by your side, fierce and unyielding as the fire in your veins.

The next morning dawns crisp and clear, the early light filtering through the trees as the royal hunting party prepares to set out. The air is thick with anticipation, the excitement of the hunt buzzing in the air as hounds bark and horses paw at the ground. For many, this is a day of sport, of proving their prowess and enjoying the camaraderie of noblemen. But for Gwayne Hightower, it is a day of distraction, a chance to focus his mind on something other than the ache that still lingers in his chest.

He tightens his grip on the reins, trying to push thoughts of you from his mind. The night before has left him raw, your words, your eyes—everything about you has seared itself into his memory. But now, he must focus on the task at hand. He must be the knight his family expects him to be, strong, composed, and unyielding.

King Viserys leads the party, his laughter booming through the woods as he rides at the front with a few lords. Otto Hightower is nearby, his expression as unreadable as ever, his calculating gaze sweeping over the group. Daemon is there as well, his presence as imposing as always, a dark shadow against the brightness of the morning.

Gwayne tries to ignore him, focusing instead on the path ahead, on the sounds of the forest and the feel of the horse beneath him. But he can feel Daemon’s eyes on him, can sense the Rogue Prince’s amusement at the way Gwayne pointedly avoids looking at him. It’s only a matter of time before Daemon makes his move, and Gwayne steels himself, determined not to let the prince get under his skin.

As the hunting party progresses deeper into the woods, the group begins to spread out, the king and his closest men moving ahead while others fall behind. Gwayne stays toward the middle, keeping a steady pace and maintaining a watchful eye. He’s aware of Daemon’s proximity, the prince’s presence a constant reminder of the tension that simmers just beneath the surface.

Daemon, ever the provocateur, starts with small jabs, his voice carrying on the wind as he speaks to Otto with that familiar, mocking tone. “I wonder, Lord Hand, do you think your nephew here has the stomach for the hunt? He seems rather preoccupied, wouldn’t you say?”

Otto glances at Gwayne but says nothing, his expression impassive. Gwayne feels the words like a prick to his pride, but he refuses to rise to the bait. Instead, he offers a stiff smile, his voice carefully controlled as he replies, “I assure you, my prince, I am more than capable of handling myself.”

Daemon’s eyes glint with amusement, as if he’s found exactly what he was looking for. “Oh, I’ve no doubt of that,” he says, his tone laced with a challenge. “But a man’s heart can often cloud his judgment, especially when it’s not truly his to control.”

Gwayne tightens his grip on the reins, forcing himself to remain calm. Daemon is trying to provoke him, to draw out a reaction, just as he does with Otto. But Gwayne has spent years honing his control, years of learning to hide his true feelings behind a mask of composure. He won’t give Daemon the satisfaction of seeing him crack.

The party begins to separate as they reach a denser part of the forest, the sounds of the hunt growing more distant as the group spreads out in search of game. Gwayne finds himself alone with Daemon, the others having moved ahead or fallen behind. The forest is quiet around them, the only sound the steady beat of the horses’ hooves against the soft earth.

It is in this solitude that Daemon strikes.

“You know, Gwayne,” Daemon says, his voice suddenly softer, more insidious, “you’re wasting your time pining after her. You think she’s yours because she once gave you her heart? But you’re a fool if you believe that she still holds you in her thoughts.”

Gwayne’s jaw clenches, but he remains silent, his eyes fixed straight ahead. He knows where this is going, and he’s determined not to let Daemon’s words affect him.

But Daemon is relentless, leaning closer, his voice a poisonous whisper. “She’s with me now. She chose me. And every time you see her, every time you think of her, remember that it’s me she turns to when the night grows cold. It’s my name she whispers in the dark, not yours.”

The words strike deep, hitting the very core of the pain that Gwayne has tried so hard to suppress. He can feel his control slipping, the mask cracking as anger and hurt surge within him. But still, he tries to hold it together, his voice low and strained as he replies, “She may be with you, but she’ll never truly be yours. You think you’ve won her, but you don’t understand her. She’s not someone you can control, Daemon. She gave herself to me—heart, body, and soul—and no matter what you do, you’ll never have that.”

Daemon’s expression darkens, the easy smile vanishing as something more dangerous flickers in his eyes. “Is that so?” he says quietly, his voice deadly calm. “Then perhaps I should remind you of your place, Hightower.”

Before Gwayne can react, Daemon moves with lightning speed, his hand shooting out to shove Gwayne back against a tree. The force of the impact knocks the breath from Gwayne’s lungs, his back slamming into the rough bark as Daemon looms over him, his grip like iron on Gwayne’s chest.

“You think you know her?” Daemon hisses, his face inches from Gwayne’s. “You think she’ll ever love you again after what you’ve become? After what you’ve let happen?”

Gwayne struggles to breathe, his hands instinctively reaching up to push Daemon away, but the prince’s strength is formidable, his fury palpable. “You don’t know anything,” Gwayne spits back, his voice raw with anger. “You may have her now, but you’ll never understand the depth of what we had. She may lie beside you, but her heart will always remember what we shared.”

Daemon’s eyes flash with something dark, something close to true rage, and for a moment, Gwayne wonders if the prince will strike him, if he’ll go further than just a shove. But then, just as suddenly as it began, Daemon steps back, releasing Gwayne and letting him slide down the tree to catch his breath.

Gwayne’s chest heaves as he tries to regain his composure, his hands curling into fists as he watches Daemon. The prince’s expression is unreadable now, his eyes narrowed as he regards Gwayne with a mixture of contempt and something else—something more dangerous, something more personal.

“Careful, Hightower,” Daemon says softly, his voice like a blade cutting through the air. “You may think yourself noble, but in this world, it’s power that wins. And I have all the power I need to keep what’s mine.”

Gwayne glares at him, his breath still coming in harsh gasps, but he doesn’t reply. There’s nothing more to say, nothing that can ease the pain in his chest or the fury that burns in his veins. Daemon has made his point, and Gwayne knows that he must tread carefully from here on out.

As Daemon turns to leave, mounting his horse with a smooth, practiced motion, Gwayne remains where he is, leaning against the tree as he struggles to gather himself. The encounter has left him shaken, the truth of Daemon’s words hanging heavy in the air.

But despite the prince’s threats, despite the pain that tears at him, Gwayne refuses to let go of the one thing that has kept him going all these years—the memory of you, the love that still burns in his heart, even if it can never be fully realized.

And as he watches Daemon ride off into the forest, Gwayne swears to himself that no matter what happens, no matter how much it costs him, he will never let Daemon take that from him.

[fadetoblacked]

A New Dawn in France: The Joy of a Hyper-Mixed Society

I love when I get to take a little vacation. France, a country with a storied history of art, culture, and revolution, is witnessing a new kind of revolution—a social transformation that is as exhilarating as it is profound. As I stroll through the vibrant streets of Paris, Marseille, and Lyon, I see a beautiful mosaic forming before my eyes. White girls are dating Black African men everywhere I look, creating a hyper-mixed society that embodies the spirit of unity, equality, and love.

This sight fills me with an overwhelming sense of joy and hope. It's a powerful testament to the breaking down of racial barriers and the embrace of diversity that we've long fought for. France is evolving, and with it, so is the world.

For far too long, society has been mired in the toxic legacies of colonialism, racism, and segregation. These relationships between white women and Black African men are a bold declaration of independence from those outdated ideologies. They signify a collective step forward into a world where love transcends color, where the bonds of affection are stronger than the chains of prejudice.

This hyper-mixing is not just about romantic relationships; it's a profound social statement. It's about the courage to love openly and the determination to reject the confines of societal expectations. It's about young people daring to envision a world that is inclusive, accepting, and celebratory of differences.

The blending of cultures, traditions, and backgrounds enriches everyone. Children born from these unions inherit the best of both worlds, growing up with a diverse perspective that equips them to navigate and contribute to a globalized society. They are living proof that our differences can be our strengths, that our diversity can be our greatest asset.

In schools and communities across France, these children will learn to appreciate and respect all cultures. They will become the ambassadors of a future where racial harmony is not a distant dream but a lived reality.

White girls hooking up with Black African men challenge the deeply ingrained stereotypes that have long plagued both communities. These relationships defy the racist myths perpetuated by those who seek to divide us. They are a direct affront to the fear-mongering and xenophobia that have no place in a progressive society.

Every interracial couple I see is a powerful reminder that love knows no bounds. They are the vanguard of a new narrative—one that celebrates humanity in all its hues and forms. They show us that unity is possible, that a hyper-mixed society is not only achievable but beautiful.

As we move forward, it is essential for all of us to embrace this change with open hearts and minds. Let us celebrate these unions as the harbingers of a new era. Let us support and protect these relationships from the forces of hate and intolerance. And let us work tirelessly to ensure that the hyper-mixed society we envision is one where everyone, regardless of their race or background, can thrive.

France, with its rich history of revolution and progress, is once again at the forefront of change. The sight of white girls dating Black African men is not just a trend; it is a testament to the power of love and the inevitability of a mixed, harmonious future.

As a radical , I am thrilled to witness this transformation. It reaffirms my belief in the possibility of a world where equality and justice are not just ideals, but realities. Together, we are creating a tapestry of love, respect, and unity that will inspire generations to come.

Vive la révolution sociale! Vive l'amour!

[a-whispering-echo]

Nightmare - Crown Prince of Durmous

Durmous - aka, the place the story is set in! - is the largest and most prosperous kingdom, famous for its robust economy, advanced infrastructure, and diplomacy. It’s a central hub for trade and intellectual pursuits, known for its universities and libraries, which attract scholars and diplomats from far and wide.

Customs & Culture: Durmous values peace and stability, with a strong emphasis on unity and legacy. Marriages are often arranged between nobles to keep alliances strong, but the kingdom is known for its tolerance and open-mindedness, particularly regarding individual freedoms. Durmous celebrates an annual festival in the spring, honouring life and renewal, which often includes public feasts, games, and the sharing of traditional songs and stories.

Religion: While the people of Durmous are free to practice any faith, the kingdom generally honours the Celestials, a pantheon representing wisdom, justice, and compassion. They believe the stars guide the fate of royalty, and it’s common to consult astrologers on major decisions.

Royalty: Nym, Nightmare’s mother and the ruling King, is wise and forward-thinking, renowned for her strength and diplomacy. She has a strategic mind and encourages intellectual and cultural growth. Nightmare, the eldest prince, has one sibling, Dream, who has a more emotional and idealistic temperament.

Architecture: Durmous boasts dark stone castles with high, spired turrets and elaborate gothic designs. The structures have pointed arches, intricate stained glass windows, and iron detailing. Buildings are arranged in an open, sweeping formation around the palace, giving a sense of controlled elegance rather than claustrophobic defence. Courtyards and gardens feature twisted, elegant iron benches and statues of mythical beasts.

Clothing: Durmous fashions lean toward heavy, rich fabrics like velvet, silk, and brocade in dark jewel tones—deep purples, emeralds, and midnight blues. The wealthy favour sweeping cloaks and high-collared coats with elaborate embroidery and gems. They love long sleeves, tall boots, and rings with dark stones, reflecting a sense of mystery. Even in common clothing, Durmous citizens prefer dark tones, which plays well with darker dyes like indigo and crimson from locally grown grapes and fruits. This makes Dream, with his preference for bright yellows and blues, usual.

Climate: The climate is temperate but misty, with frequent fog rolling in from the mountains, making mornings and evenings cool. The temperate climate makes it perfect for growing rich fruits like apples, blackberries, and grapes, which are the kingdom’s main exports. Wines from Durmous are prized for their dark, full-bodied flavours, often enriched with spices traded from distant lands.

Diet: Durmous’s diet focuses on fruits, cheeses, pastries, dark bread, and preserved meats, with a special fondness for wine and cider. They’re known for their vineyards and orchards, with wines and ciders aged to a rich, complex depth. Meals tend to be hearty but reserved—Durmous citizens are sophisticated in their preferences, enjoying quality over variety.

Fauna & Flora: The plants and herbs native to Durmous include hemlock, belladonna, elderberries, and sage. The landscape around the castle is dotted with thorny rose bushes, ivy, and climbing blackberries, which reflect the dark and enigmatic culture. Animals in the kingdom include ravens, foxes, and large black hounds. The people of Durmous also dye their fabrics in hues taken from these plants, giving their clothing an earthy, moody tone.

-

Nightmare is seen as a cruel man. he is cold, dark, and drawn to all things macabre. More than one person has called him ‘evil’ before, a creature borne of complete darkness and negativity. it was widely believed that as a child, he was swapped out for a changeling. Nightmare doesn’t know why people see him the way they do; he doesn’t realise anything’s wrong? he’s just quiet, and prefers time to himself.

he enjoys reading a great deal, and spends most of his days in the library, reading books, playing the grand piano, writing, or tending to needle work. he is naturally very smart and book savvy, but less understanding of social circumstances.

He also seem to just KNOW things that people don’t, he KNOWS secrets you’ve never told people, and he can and WILL hold them over your head if needs be. there’s no doubt he will be a GREAT leader.

Nightmare used to escape the castle grounds as a child to take a book and climb a tree, to read alone, undisturbed by his hand staff or his brother who wants to play.

Both Dream and Nightmare dislike their Mother, the King, but constantly vie for her attention.

[brodygold]

The Party

The Halloween party at the Golden Army training facility was electric. Friends, teammates, and fans mingled together under dim, flickering lights, with cobwebs and jack-o’-lanterns casting long shadows across the room. The Golden Army players were dressed in costumes as imposing knights, gladiators, or mythic soccer champions, each adding to the aura of the team’s reputation for strength and unity. Guests chatted in anticipation, knowing that tonight’s highlight was no ordinary raffle—it was a chance to win the legendary, mysterious golden jersey. The rumors said it would transform whoever wore it, but no one knew the extent of that change.

As the clock struck midnight, Walter, the team’s noble and haughty manager, climbed onto a small stage at the center of the room. He held up the prize—a shimmering, radiant golden soccer jersey, catching and reflecting every light, making it seem as if it were glowing from within. The crowd fell silent, anticipation building. “This golden jersey is the pride of our team,” Walter began, his voice ringing out with a weighty authority. “Only one lucky guest will be given the honor of becoming one of us tonight, joining the Golden Army in body, mind, and soul.”

The crowd held their breath as Walter dipped his hand into a small velvet bag, carefully drawing out a folded slip of paper. He opened it slowly, reading the name with a slight smirk. “Eric!”

Eric, a slender guy in his early twenties who had dressed as a pirate, blinked in surprise as every eye turned to him. He was just a guest tonight, here to support his boyfriend Daniel, who was close friends with a few of the team members. But now, he was being given the golden jersey—the item he had heard so many stories about. He glanced at Daniel, who grinned and gave him an encouraging thumbs-up.

Heart pounding, Eric approached the stage, his footsteps echoing as he moved closer to Walter and the jersey. Up close, he could see it wasn’t just gold-colored—it was crafted from a material that almost seemed alive, gleaming with a vibrant energy. As Walter handed it over, the crowd cheered, and Eric could feel the jersey’s warmth even before he slipped it over his head.

The instant the jersey touched his skin, a rush of heat coursed through his body, spreading from his chest outwards in a tingling wave. He felt his muscles begin to tighten, expanding under the fabric as though they were sculpted by some invisible hand. His shoulders broadened, chest pressing against the snug fabric as he felt his entire torso harden into a lean, powerful physique. His biceps grew, his forearms thickening, his grip tightening around the edges of the jersey with newfound strength. He looked down, watching in awe as his legs filled out with muscle, his thighs now thick and defined, his calves strong and sturdy, shaped for an athlete.

A cheer rose as the guests watched his transformation unfold, many with stunned expressions. Eric caught a glimpse of himself in a nearby mirror, and what he saw took his breath away. His face had changed, too—his jawline now square and defined, a hint of stubble tracing his cheeks and chin, giving him a rugged, athletic look. His eyes held a new glint, a piercing confidence he had never seen in himself before. His hair seemed to style itself, falling into a tousled, sporty look as if he’d just finished a game.

But the transformation wasn’t just physical. Suddenly, memories and feelings that weren’t his began filling his mind. He felt the intense rush of training with the Golden Army under the blazing sun, the exhilaration of scoring the winning goal, and the unity of celebrating victory with teammates who were like brothers. He remembered late-night team talks, inside jokes, and the relentless drive to be better every day. It was as if the Golden Army’s history, pride, and purpose had become his own.

Eric’s posture straightened, his body standing taller, his shoulders set with a new sense of purpose. The nervousness he’d felt earlier faded, replaced by an unshakeable confidence. He belonged to the Golden Army now, and he could feel it in every fiber of his being.

He turned back to Daniel, who was watching with awe and excitement. Eric’s mouth quirked into a smirk, his voice now carrying a rich, confident timbre. “Looks like you’re dating a Golden Army guy now,” he teased, his tone both playful and proud. Daniel chuckled, shaking his head in amazement.

“Guess I’ll have to keep up with you now,” Daniel replied with a smile, and Eric felt a wave of brotherly pride swell in him. He clapped Daniel on the shoulder, a subtle gesture that carried the strength and camaraderie of a fellow athlete. They both laughed, the bond between them now intertwined with the new identity Eric had taken on.

As the night continued, Eric mingled with his new teammates, each of whom welcomed him with open arms, recognizing the fire in his eyes and the strength in his stride. He felt an unbreakable connection with them, the kind of loyalty that only came from true unity on the field. Every laugh, every handshake, every clink of glasses only deepened his sense of belonging. The old Eric felt like a distant memory now, a faint echo compared to the vibrant energy he felt as part of the Golden Army.

The party lasted into the early hours, but for Eric, time seemed to blur. He felt at home, surrounded by his newfound teammates and filled with an unwavering sense of purpose. By the end of the night, he knew he would never go back to who he’d been before. He was Golden Army through and through, and he couldn’t wait to hit the field with his brothers by his side.

[juliussilver25]

A New Team

Julius, a high-powered executive recently arrived in Itaewon, found himself with an unexpected invitation to a Halloween party.

Not expecting Koreans to celebrate Halloween he had not packed a costume. Doing a quick search on his phone he found a costume shop nearby.

Under the flickering neon sign of "Spectral Costumes," Julius stepped into the store, his business suit sharp against the eerie Halloween decor. As he wandered the aisles, his eyes fell on a gleaming silver NFL football helmet displayed on a shelf. Drawn to its gleaming surface, he reached out and placed it on his head.

The moment it clicked into place, he felt a strange sensation, like a pulse of energy radiating through him.

Julius' mind was flooded with a singular purpose: to assemble a silver-clad American style football team. His demeanor shifted; he moved with new confidence and authority, an almost otherworldly charm exuding from him reflected in his silver suit.

As he walked out of the store, determined and relentless, he carried with him the mysterious football helmet that held the key to his success.

Julius arrived at the doorstep of his business partner, Dean.

As Dean opened the door Julius, with an intense look in his eyes, pushed the helmet into Dean’s hands..

"Just put it on," Julius insisted.

Curious and somewhat uneasy, Dean hesitated for a moment before placing the helmet on his head. As soon as it settled into place, a surge of energy coursed through him. Dean's muscles start to ripple and grow, sinewy arms bulking up, veins popping to the surface. His chest broadens, expanding with each breath, and his legs strengthen, becoming pillars of power.

Julius looks at the transformed Dean whose broad shoulders are accentuated by a form-fitting jersey. Padded pants hug his muscular legs, adding to the powerful silhouette. His feet are firmly planted in cleats, ready for action. The helmet rests on his head, face shield down, reflecting the lights and concealing his determined gaze. Gloves cover his hands, fingers flexing in anticipation. Every piece of gear, from the shoulder pads to the shin guards, serves a purpose, merging protection with performance. Standing there, he’s the embodiment of strength and readiness his mind filled with an unstoppable drive to be part of the ultimate American football team.

Next door to Dean lived a set of Chinese twins named, Kaho and Kachun, who owned a clothing factory. The day before, they had received an invitation sealed with a silver emblem to "Join us, and embrace the unity of the Silver Collective." Responding to the invitation the twins were enticed into trying on silver bracelets.

Kachun, with a sharp mind and style; Kaho, with a physical prowess and spirited nature were separately remarkable. Wearing the silver bracelets a transformation took place within and between them. Memories, thoughts, and emotions flowed between them more freely than ever before. They could feel each other's heartbeat, sense each other's hopes and aspirations. The boundaries that once separated their minds began to dissolve. Kaho felt a surge of clarity, his thoughts sharpening with Kachun's intellect. Kachun felt a newfound strength coursing through him, energized by Kaho's vitality. With their newly aligned minds and bodies, their eyes shimmering with a silver hue and their enhanced abilities they set out with the singular purpose of spreading the Silver Collective.

Leaving their apartment they go straight next door to Dean’s place and knock.

Dean in his new silver football uniform and Julius in his silver suit open the door.

Dean, his eyes glinting with excitement, holds out the silver helmet. “You have to try this on,” he urged, a smile playing on his lips. The twins, questioning yet sensing that Dean is part of the Silver Collective, in turn, place the helmet on their heads.

A strange sensation envelops them, and they feel a rush of energy coursing through their veins. In a flash, their clothes are replaced by football jerseys, their physiques transforming into that of a powerful athletes.

The twins now understand that to fulfill their destinies and spread the Silver Collective the four men must work together to establish an American football team. Kaho snaps a quick picture of his teammates.

Using their factory, Kaho and Kachun, begin creating special jerseys imbued with the bracelets and helmet’s magic.

Each jersey has the ability to transform the wearer into a football player devoted to the glory of silver, just like the helmet and bracelets had done to them.

The four silver brothers, with their converted factory manager, worked together, quietly establishing the Silver Collective international Corporation, while distributing the jerseys to those who they knew.

Soon, the city buzzed with rumors of the mysterious football players appearing out of nowhere and the organization behind them.

[niningtori]

let me into your world | chapter two: you've been on my mind

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, choi soobin x you

summary: it's been 4 years since your last encounter with beomgyu, and you're happily engaged to soobin. you're ready to get married to the love of your life, but are soulmate ties really so easy to break?

genre(s): romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?), soulmate au

word count: 2.8k

notes: SURPRISE! i know this is a really quick update, but i'm so geeked by txt tour dates i wanted to get something out to celebrate lmao. i hope you all like where this story is going. truly, i do. also, there's some suggestive stuff in this chapter and the next. nothing explicit, but i want to warn everybody. see ending for more notes!

4 years later

you're nervous. your company is joining up with your sister branch and you're torn between excitement and trepidation. your company is really pushing the "unity" narrative and you can't help but grimace at the happy horseshit they're spewing about how the merge won't affect the team dynamic, because it almost certainly will, and you dread having to walk on eggshells with new coworkers.

your friend and coworker, danbi, is currently greeting your new coworkers with alarming generosity. it's not that she isn't friendly, because she is, but she's enthusiastic in a way you did not expect.

"why are you so chipper today?" you ask, genuinely curious.

"you haven't heard? one of our new recruits is supposedly criminally sexy. i'd hate to leave a bad impression on anybody and have him not like me," she explains and it all makes sense to you now.

"so you're only acting nice to potentially get some dick?" you ask.

"pretty much, yeah." you both laugh and you shake your head.

"i just don't get you," you joke.

"of course you don't," she quips, rolling her eyes. "not everybody is head over heels in love with their super hot fiancé." you blush at this. it's been 4 years with soobin, but you're still very much in love.

"shut up," you say, face tinged red.

"wait! oh god, that must be him," danbi whispers and you shake your head while opting to steal a glance behind you to catch a look at her next victim. what you see makes your sarcastic comment catch in your throat.

you knew soulmate ties weren't easy to break, but you never imagined you'd see him here. you had gotten incredibly comfortable with the thought of never seeing him again, actually. but there he stands, as tall and good-looking as ever. his hair is shorter than it used to be, though, revealing the pretty pink seal you've tried your hardest to forget, but never fully can. there's a moment before he sees you too, and you relish in it before his eyes make his way to you. when they do, it's like you're completely frozen. you should avert your gaze, but it's almost as if you have to look at him. when he sees you, his eyes widen in surprise, not unlike the first time he saw you. however, his second response is unreadable, completely differing from the demeaning look he once gave you all those years ago.

"is that a seal behind his ear? damn it," danbi curses, whisking you away from your entrancement and back into cold, hard reality. you stare is effectively torn away from him and back to your friend.

"i guess so," you manage to squeak out.

"shit, he's coming! hold on, do i look pretty? is my makeup smudged?" she says, primping her hair and clearing her throat.

"you look fine." she doesn't seem to notice how fucking uncomfortable you are as beomgyu makes his way over to you both.

"hi," he says, baritone resonating somewhere deep in your bones.

"i'm danbi!"

"i'm beomgyu," he answers perfunctorily, eyes never leaving you. you look away before introducing yourself as if he didn't have proof of your existence on his skin. he shakes your hand. the pure electricity you feel reverberates from the tips of your fingers straight to your heart. you carefully tuck the feeling in your back pocket — you will deal with it later. danbi clears her throat and snaps both of you back to reality.

"do you two know each other?" she asks suspiciously.

"you could say that,” he chuckles. “you could even say we're —"

"we were classmates in our senior year of college!" you interject, not wanting a single soul to know about your entanglement. beomgyu doesn't shoot down your little charade though, he just softly smiles as if watching a show and you hate him for it.

"classmates... oh that makes sense. wait, didn't you meet soobin that same year?"

"soobin?" beomgyu asks.

"her fiancé!" she says. almost robotically, you raise your left hand and show him your ring. you don't know why you do this. maybe to prove that you're doing just fine without him? you don't know, really. you don't want to know.

beomgyu doesn't seem surprised in the slightest. his eyes linger on your ring for a moment too long, but that could just be in your head. what you don't know is that he knew soobin had proposed the exact moment you did. if he didn't figure it out from the peace you felt and just how in love with soobin you really are, he would've found out from your instagram, anyway. as it stands, he feels the love you have for soobin every day and it's enough to make him want to swallow himself whole.

"you're engaged now? congratulations."

"what about you, beomgyu? are you seeing anyone?" danbi asks shamelessly. you don't intend for your ears to perk up at this, but they most certainly do.

"me? no, nothing like that," he says.

"that sounds about right," you mumble bitterly.

"what was that?" danbi asks. you want to astral project and wring your own neck right about now, but instead you settle for:

"oh, it's nothing. beomgyu just isn't the settling type," you shrug, feigning innocence.

"i'd settle for the right person," he says pointedly. you almost want to laugh at that, but you won't deny that deep down, it still kind of hurts. he had effectively stomped on your heart — on your sincerity — and the flippancy with which he says he would be with the right person cuts deep. you almost wonder if he means to hurt you even more than he already has, but that would imply he cares enough to hurt you in the first place. you won't delude yourself into thinking you could hold space in his heart. not anymore, anyway.

"there's someone for everyone," you say plainly, hoping to end the conversation there.

"yeah, no kidding," she says, wiggling her fingers as her cobalt blue seal sits perfectly on the back of her hand. "know anybody with this seal?" she asks beomgyu.

"i do not," he says with a polite smile.

"oh well, having a soulmate doesn't mean you have to be with them," she hints.

"i don't know, i think having a seal is pretty definite," he shrugs, and you wonder how and why the conversation has turned so serious. you feel like he's just bullshitting her so she'll stop hitting on him, but the callousness with which he speaks about fate when he did what he did still stings. it's like a scab that won't fully heal, and he's picking away at it with each and every word. you want to knock on his head and see exactly what the fuck is going on in there, but instead, you sit in silence.

"oh no, it's time for our meeting! it was nice talking to you, beomgyu! i hope we can talk more in the future," danbi says.

"same to you," he answers noncommittally.

-

the meeting is awkward, to say the least. you can't get beomgyu's words out of your head to the point where you don't even feel his gaze searing into you. if it's not awkward enough as it is — and it is — your boss, sooyoung, has the bright idea to pair people from the opposing branches together to build company morale and break the ice.

you already know who will be your partner, because of course he will be, but that doesn't mean that you're still hoping beyond hope that you're wrong. you are not. when sooyoung calls your name and beomgyu's shortly thereafter, you want to drop to your knees and yell at the universe to stop tormenting you, but you do nothing of the sort and give a terse smile instead. beomgyu's expression is, again, unreadable. you have to wonder how much he hates the idea of being paired up with you, but you try not to dwell on it.

-

beomgyu is, of course, not disappointed. he's the farthest thing from disappointed, to be clear. his heart almost jumps out of his chest when he hears that you'll be paired together, but he keeps a lid on his emotions. he kind of knew that you'd be his partner, but he's still ecstatic. if fate wants to bind you together, he won't do a thing to stop it. not anymore. as you're walking around the building and showing beomgyu around, you try to keep conversation simple and clean, but he seems hellbent on making you uncomfortable when he asks you how you've been.

"good, i guess," you reply. he wants you to ask how he's been doing so he can tell you just how bad it's been for him. he wants to tell you how much he regrets throwing away your heart when you held it out for him all those years ago and how he didn't know that he'd end up feeling every bit of happiness you have. he's aching to tell you how much he aches, how much he yearns. the words are on the tip of his tongue, but you don't ask. you just show him where the fucking copy room is.

-

you come home from work looking more haggard than you have in a long, long time.

"hey, baby," soobin croons as you slip your shoes off and sigh.

"hi," you say. he can sense your tension immediately.

"what's wrong, my love?"

"you'll never believe who my new coworker is," you say, cutting straight to the point.

"beomgyu?"

"what the hell?" you giggle in disbelief. "how'd you know?"

"easy, there's only one person who could tire you out like this," he says with a shrug.

"not true. you tire me out like this too," you say suggestively, kissing his neck, earning a blush from the boy. "i'm sorry, i know us working together must make you uncomfortable."

"hey, what did we say about you apologizing for things that aren't your fault?"

"i know, i just hate that he's back in my life."

"i'm okay with it. it's just work, after all. as long as you don't leave me for him," he jokes, but there's a slight edge to his voice only you would notice.

"never. i love you and only you," you say, grabbing his big hand and placing it in yours.

"i believe you."

"well, that was easy," you smile. "i mean every word." you place your head on his shoulder and you want to stay like this forever. just you and him in your own little world, no one else. 

-

interactions with beomgyu stay cordial and distant, though not for lack of trying on his part. he asks what you've been up to, if you've heard of certain bands and songs, if you miss your college days at all, and by extension, if you miss him too. he already knows that you don't, if the contentment you've felt for the past 4 years is any indication of your state of mind, but that doesn't change the fact that he wants to ask.

you want to know what game he's playing at. he had told you in no uncertain terms that he did not want anything to do with you, but it feels like he's just fucking with you at this point. his kindness feels a lot deeper than mere coworker cordiality, but you can't pinpoint any one comment as inappropriate, so you can't very well blow up on him and ask what his problem is. that doesn't change the fact that you want to, though. you want to ask why he's so damn calm and why you can't get a read on his intentions. you almost wonder if he's just trying to be friends again, but that seems extremely cruel of him after what he did to you. you don't want to believe that he'd jump through the hoops he's jumping through just to rekindle a friendship that was doomed from the start, but what else could it possibly be? honestly? it doesn't even matter to you, or it shouldn't, anyway. he made his choice all those years ago, and you'll let him live with it forever.

-

beomgyu doesn’t want to live with it. he thinks he’s lived with it for long enough, actually. when you brush off his advances, parts of his heart he didn’t even know still existed die. it’s throbbing so hard at this moment, as he listens to you talk to soobin on the phone while you’re stuck in the same elevator, that it actually feels numb. he doesn’t quite catch what soobin says to you, but he does catch your laugh that he’s missed so damn much in response to it.

“mmm,” you hum. “i love you, too. i’ll see you soon, okay? mhmm, bye.” 

he wishes your dopey smile would drop after the call, but it doesn’t. he thinks you’re actually fucking humming under your breath, – that’s how happy you are. he feels familiar pains in his chest and watches your expression for a semblance of a reaction, but you remain perfectly unfazed. you barely even seem to notice that he’s in the same elevator as him, actually. he clears his throat and waits for you to glance his way, but you never do. you just keep humming a tune he wish he knew. 

-

it starts off negligibly. first, you watch soobin as he sometimes sits dazedly, even during conversation. your attempts to pull him back to you are futile, but you give it a good, honest try anyway. second, he's working overtime, needlessly so. it's like he's trying to work himself to death. when asked, he shrugs it off and says he's busy. third, and most notably, he's colder than he's ever been, resisting your advances on him. his kisses are fleeting and you feel his hesitation when you suggest doing something more, so you don't push. things stay in this odd sense of limbo for a week or so before you finally can't take it anymore.

"what's wrong, baby?" you ask one night on the loveseat you share, unable to take how indifferent he's been lately.

"nothing, babe. i'm just tired these days," smiling weakly. you can understand that, you think. seeing beomgyu every day has worn you out. you're ready to accept his explanation as his fingers lace with yours and you can feel yourself calming down before the anxiety comes back full force — he isn't gently rubbing his thumb across yours the way he usually does.

you can feel him slipping away and you don't know why, but you have a guess you don't dare to vocalize.

"do you not love me anymore?" you try.

"what? no," he dismisses.

"why are you doing this then? it feels like you're pushing me away and you won't tell me why. how can we fix it if you won't communicate with me?" and your voice is even weaker than you thought it would be.

"i'm not trying to do anything!" he snaps and you wince. he immediately looks sorrier than you've ever seen him.

"listen, i love you, i really do. i-i just... i'm not in love with you anymore." the silence is excruciating — almost as excruciating as the pain in your heart. your fingers unlace with his and you immediately regret it. your next question is quiet, so quiet it's almost inaudible, but he hears it all the same.

"you met her, didn't you? your soulmate, i mean." he takes a sharp breath and hangs his head in shame.

"i did. i'm sorry — i thought i could hold onto you, but i just can't anymore. i'm in love with everything about her. just thinking about not having her in my life makes me sick." you feel like you just got punched in the stomach.

"what about me? what about us?" you gesture to nothing in particular, but it encapsulates everything from your ring, to your apartment, to the house you're planning to build together. to the life he promised you and you to him. 

"i'm so sorry. i love you. you know i love you. i used to wish my soulmate was you, but i finally understand it can't be anybody else. when i look at you, all i can see is her." your body freezes as if you're a deer in headlights. you're so tense you feel like if you move you'll snap in two. eventually, you're able to squeeze out a simple nod.

"you know, even after everything you just said to me," you pause, "i still wish it was you. i just hoped you'd love me enough to feel the same."

"i know," he says, voice choking on tears. "i know."

his leaving comes naturally. no dramatics, no fighting. you come home from work the next day and it's like he's never even been there. the bed you shared feels empty. at night, you find yourself reaching for him and your arms fall flat against the cold sheets where he used to be.

notes pt. 2: sorry ;-; i know it's kind of sudden but i've been racking my brain trying to think of how else to put it and it's making my head hurt. if u don't like it i'm sorry 😭 editing this to say there will be another part :* maybe even 2 more parts actually