#Cat Supplies Cheap

[eats-the-stars]

being an adult who makes my own income is also realizing i can actually buy some of the pretty art i see online. some day i might even be bold enough to directly commission an artist.

[pikonv5]

Ohhh maybe an interview this week 😭😭😭 manual labor that will probably be too hard on my body but if i can survive it, i will try my hardest for us, if i get the offer !! 😭😭

[letmeliedown]

update post - my cat and i still need help staying housed!!

new post bc this one was getting rly long

we put down the $1485 for half month's rent and deposit but still need:

$196 to rent an ozone generator until oct. 1 to deal with mildew & allergens in the new place

$120 for an air purifier for my room

$200 for a portable AC unit (i have severe heat intolerance & no windows in my room )

$200 for cleaning supplies

moving expenses - don't have an exact quote yet for the truck but it's not looking cheap

we are at 926/2500!

p*yp*l is thelandofyesterday at gmail dot com

please reblog or donate if you can. thank you so much to everyone who has already!

[raincoat-movings]

My abusive mother is trying to institutionalize me & put me in a conservatorship. Please help me fund my escape plan across a few states.

This is a remake of my original post that lost traction as it gained over 4k notes, but I still need help. Things have gone to shit I need to get the fuck out of here as soon as possible. That means the moving fee will be much more, but if we can get enough I am going to go for it as soon as May (I have to give a 30-day notice to my current landlord before I can leave) or June instead of my original post's estimate.

My mother has sold her house and is bringing her pets to the new house, but she is leaving my cat behind with the new owners knowing that will upset me. She gave me a few options - move in with her and I can keep him in my room, I can let her leave him with strangers whom I don't know or know what they'll end up doing with him, or I can pay the pet deposit on my current apartment of 350 dollars to have him with me instead. I would like to have my cat back as I have been alone in this apartment since I moved, and I am so afraid of her giving him to strangers and something happening to him before I can take him with me when I can move.

Since she is moving she has also informed me today she is also giving me another choice - move in with her to keep rides or stay in my current apartment and not have rides to the grocery store + doctors. Insurance can help me with the issue of the appointments, but I need rides to the city next to me as the town I live in has no store with decent prices on food. Everything is priced to hell here - I used to ride with my mom to Costco or Walmart where I could get a lot out of my food stamps - those are out of my reach without a car. (We do not have public transportation here. It is a small town. We don't even get pizza delivery here unless it's from doordash the city next to us.) As stated in the original post I will be renting an apartment with my beloved, but they are 3 states away so this is not going to be cheap. I am getting my stuff professionally moved as I cannot make the trip myself as it would cost more, be worse on my body, things can happen with me being alone, it will not be insured, etc.

Again, I am so sorry for having to remake this post I am sure many of you are tired of seeing me pop up on here, but I want my cat back + this is getting very fucking bad so I need to get out of here soon as I can.

paypal: partange1 cashapp: par1demon wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/37P45EQYVHZZT?ref_=wl_share <- This has cat, medical (I am disabled + get injured a lot), and packing supplies you can directly buy for me in case you can't donate through paypal or cashapp

[elbiotipo]

Little details about the Biopunk Future of 2143:

Coca-Cola, Pepsi and other Usamerican soft drink brands aren't made anymore. Their ecological niche, so to speak, has been taken over by Guaraná Antartica. Most kioscos in Argentina are painted in green and red. Many of them feature modified guaraná vines -adapted to the city, of course- though the brand is concerned they might actually compete with the soda itself.

When you go alone at night (and you better have a good reason to break curfew) you can hear the low hum of the biosecurity towers. Like a palm tree in the shape of an antenna, it hosts buzzing hives of defense organisms arranged in a precise self-contained ecosystem, ready to create antigens and swarm over the city at the warning of a biological attack. At the top, a soft blue light says 'all-clear'. Pray it never turns red.

The post-Ecocide recuperation plan left lots of consequences, but mostly, boxes. Supply boxes of all sizes signed with "FOR EARTH RECOVERY - SUPPLIED BY UNITED NATIONS" in all languages litter the planet. They don't go unused, though; people use them to store all sort of stuff, craft some things, even improvised construction... most have been painted over, but wherever you look, you will find one or two "UN blue" boxes.

Cosmetic genetics had their apogee at the 2080s. Fur, feathers, tails, horns, scales... tegumentary implants were cheap and easy as tattoos and the fastest way to become a biopunk. 60 years later and with the weight of a global biological war, they aren't that appealing anymore, they are rather uncommon in the younger generations. Many even removed them. But you can find around, if you know where to look, old ladies with cat ears and a grandpa swaying a reptilian tail while taking his grandchildren to school. Listen to their stories, they might be interesting.

When one reads "bioforge", even today, one thinks of a nonsensical mess of organs, or sterile metallic vats. Though many are still bacterial brews in giant pots, in truth, bioengineers have long used the most efficient factories build by nature, plants. Rows of vines grow in greenhouses, producing compounds, medicines, and more, stored in fruit, all carefully color-coded. Despite the more appealing visuals, workers still use full body protection and the environment is sterile. These crops are as delicate as a clean room lab.

[blkkizzat]

ꨄ︎『Sneaky Links』ꨄ︎ (PART 1)

Sukuna x Reader (Mentions of Yuji x Reader)

18+ Minors - DNI

PART 1 of 2

Summary: Y/N is a dickmatized manipulative brat. Sukuna is Sukuna. Poor sweet Yuji is collateral damage. CW: cheating, rough play, unprotected sex, spit play, brat taming, spanking, pussy slapping, manipulation, fingering, anal play, edging, tit job, blow job, slight dubcon, sukuna being toxic, y/n thinking with her pussy not her brain (but it’s hard not to when you got that wet wet). WK: 3.1k of 8.5k Slightly Black female coded but no descriptors.

A/N: All I do is eat hot chip and bump Spotify so nearly everything I write has song(s) that goes with it.

Sukuna POV: I Mean It - G-Eazy (this mv is so unsrs but I'm criiiine imagining Sukuna as G-Eazy in this video lmfao) Reader POV: You Right - Doja Cat (not like Sukuna couldn't be The Weeknd POV here but he's so much more of an asshole than that)

Enjoy!

‘2:37 AM’. Fuck.

You had to stop looking at the clock, it was only making you more restless. Usually sleep came to you easily as the peaceful dark of your room and light snores coming from your boyfriend Yuji would lull you into a comforting slumber each night.

You sighed.

Your head lay on Yuji’s chest and his arm was loosely draped around your waist. This has become your typical sleeping position since moving in with each other. You have only been living together for over a little over a month now. But living with Yuji was great, even if your apartment was smaller than you would have liked. 

Despite the both of you being full fledged sorcerers and risking your lives constantly, exorcizing curses didn’t pay the best salary. You wanted something bigger but it was cheap enough to allow the both of you to save for something much better down the line. 

It was Yuji who had mentioned that fact to you, to both console your protests and to hint at more promises for the future. That had been enough to make you giddy and you would have agreed to live in a closet if it meant you could be together.

Sure, Yuji could be a little clueless at times but he always tried his best to make you happy. The two of you rarely had any disagreements even when you were being a stubborn brat. His easy going nature took your faults in stride, meeting your needs without complaint. 

Yuji was always doing sweet things for you like waking up a bit earlier so you could drink your coffee (that he always burnt) in bed. He would shower you with soft kisses to coax you awake with a wide grin and a whispered ‘good morning’ that made you feel warm just remembering it.

You really couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.

You were happy with Yuji.

You love him and are very happy with Yuji. 

Sigh.

So then why exactly is your mind torturing you with thoughts of the cursed object inside your boyfriend taking control of his body and fucking you dumb into the mattress?  

You caught yourself unconsciously chewing your lip in nervous anticipation. 

Your mind couldn’t allow you to sleep because it was filled with Sukuna, The King of Curses and every jujutsu sorcerer’s sworn enemy. 

Your enemy.

How could you let it come to this? 

You felt guilty but it’s not like you had asked for this to start happening. That said, you made no real attempts to stop Sukuna thus far from showing up to fuck you before disappearing again like a thief in the night. 

Rode hard and put away wet, he used you on his whims and it had been happening more frequently ever since the first week after you and Yuji moved-in together. 

The fateful night it started was the night of your housewarming party, ironically enough.

You honestly didn't even want a damned housewarming, you recalled looking back. You thought it was impractical and a bit embarrassing to throw a housewarming for such a small flat. 

Everyone would be on top of each other the entire night. 

But Gojo had insisted, promising to supply the drinks and food which automatically had Yuji on board, so you just gave in. Anything to get Gojo out of your hair and seeing Yuji so excited made you smile.

The housewarming itself went well until the six eyed sorcerer had suggested a ‘friendly’ drinking game. All which would have been fine if Gojo hadn’t brought over what he called Reggae Punch.

However, it wasn’t the standard recipe of peach liqueur and oolong tea you could find in any Tokyo bar. The dark orange drink Gojo concocted was a heavy mixture of actual punch and different liquors that you couldn’t identify until you were already 2 cups in.

The son of a bitch. He had literally tricked y’all into drinking Jungle Juice.

You were already faded as hell by the time the game started so you eliminated yourself early on purpose. 

Yuji, who was a good boy and never even took a sip of alcohol until he was legal earlier this year, actually thought he stood a chance at winning against his seniors. He foolishly joined-in with earnestness.

Rolling your eyes at the memory, the night ended as expected. Yuji was beyond shitfaced. 

His head hung heavy and was barely still on the low chabudai table by the time Nanami (the winner) had dragged a drunken Gojo out of your apartment, who was still singing songs from the pricey digital karaoke machine he had gifted the both of you earlier in the night. 

Maki and Yuta, sensible enough to stop drinking early like you, had already left.

Meaning Nobara, Inumaki and Megumi, all pretty lit themselves, had the near impossible task of dragging Panda home which you did not envy. 

With everyone gone, getting Yuji into bed proved a far easier feat than expected. 

You had left him some ibuprofen and pedialyte on the nightstand and a small bin next to the bed just in case he woke up and felt sick. You really didn’t mind taking care of your boyfriend who always took such good care of you. 

You just wished it didn’t have to be this night. This night when you realized for the first time that mixing that much alcohol in large quantities just went straight to your pussy.  

Pleasing yourself usually wasn’t an issue but after you pulled the second yet still unsatisfying orgasm from yourself is when Sukuna had made his appearance chuckling at your failed attempts. 

Admittedly, you were terrified at first.

You had been dating Yuji for two years but Sukuna didn’t often show himself and he had never even addressed you directly before. It was dangerously easy to forget the most powerful evil sorcerer in existence was residing rent free inside your bf’s soul. 

Nevertheless, you were hard up for a real release at that moment. A cloud of lust fogged your brain and it didn’t take much goading at all for your legs to spread like a warm jelly for The Curse King.

And he did not disappoint. 

Sukuna’s sharp tongue flooded your ears with degrading praises sending electricity through your body that settled in your core where the even sharper strokes of his hips corrupted you from the inside out. 

All your senses utterly stupefied, you came hard. You made a mess on him, yourself and your sheets.

And that was only round one.

Sukuna had near limitless stamina. 

The next morning, achy and sore, you could barely look Yuji in the eye. You were preparing to beg for his forgiveness but you quickly realized he barely remembered the party, let alone what happened after. 

In fact, it made you feel even more guilty that Yuji apologized to you. He was mad at himself for being so rough with you when he noticed the bites, bruises and marks that decorated your body thinking you both actually had sex the previous night. 

You were the worst. 

You really were the worst as truthfully, if you told him in that moment, he likely would have forgiven you then without question. 

It’s not like you alone could stop Sukuna from doing anything he wanted to you while Yuji was unaware. You were a semi-grade 1 sorcerer, strong enough for most curses, but you would be kidding yourself to think you could take on Sukuna in a fight. 

In fact wouldn’t the issue of Sukuna being able to take over Yuji’s body freely while he was unconscious be a much more pressing concern rather than how many times the curse king had made you squirt? 

Yet in spite of the danger, the logic and your better judgment, you were too ashamed to tell Yuji what really happened. 

That was because subconsciously a part of you knew it could happen again.

And it did. 

Many times.

Except for tonight. 

Sukuna had yet to make his appearance tonight. 

In fact, he hadn’t shown up in the last 5 nights in a row. The longest you had gone without his dick since he started toying with you. 

You recalled you had snapped at him after his last visit when his insults had started swaying from you to Yuji and his inability to please you. You told him never to visit you again and threatened to tell Yuji if he did. 

Honestly you didn’t expect your threats to do much. They hadn’t previously. 

As much as you wanted to be relieved that maybe Sukuna had finally grown sick of dealing with ‘Yuji’s bratty pillow princess’, a name he often called you while digging deep in your guts, you weren’t relieved at all. 

If anything it annoyed you. 

He hadn’t listened when you told him to leave you alone the first, second or third time so why now?

Why now after your cunt has started craving the burn of being stretched out by Sukuna? 

You shiver, thinking of his heavy grip on the fat of your hips. His claws would be so dangerously close to breaking your delicate skin. 

He constantly reminded you how easily he could rip you apart if he wanted to while he relentlessly clapped your cheeks from behind. 

Near salivating, you snapped your head up a little too eagerly for your own liking when you felt Yuji stir beneath you thinking it was Sukuna and more than a little disappointed when it wasn’t.  

You knew Yuji’s tender caresses should have made you melt, and it still did in a way. You were still in love with him. 

But it wasn’t until Sukuna tainted you did you realize you didn’t want to be treated like a delicate princess. 

You wanted to be manhandled. 

You wanted to be made a mess of. 

You wanted to be called names like the filthy cheating whore you were currently proving yourself to be. But Yuji was too tenderhearted to ever fuck you like you needed.

Squeezing your eyes shut as if you could block out all thoughts, you knew the reason you couldn't get to sleep was because you were horny for Sukuna. 

The higher the heat in your belly rises the more sleep becomes impossible. Your clit burned in response to the heat in your belly which made your pussy flutter as it desperately clenched around nothing and pushed some of Yuji’s cum from earlier in the night out onto your thighs.

In that moment, all your resolve was lost.

Yuji was simply the appetizer and you were a famished woman. Still left starving for the main course.

Sukuna. 

You swallow, unsure of yourself as you attempt to steel your resolve. You had already resigned yourself to the hell Sukuna put you in.

You turn your head deeper into Yuji���s chest and whisper softly against his pectorals, fingers lightly tracing his lower abs under the blankets.

“Yo…um.. Hey…Hey Sukuna… c-can you hear me?” 

Silence. 

You tried again. Nothing.

You huff, your patience waning. 

“Damnit, Sukuna!” you whisper harshly, your voice rising slightly with irritation. 

You waited more. 

The only reply you received was the rise and fall of Yuji’s chest. 

You were seeing red. 

This lame ass motherfucker. 

Was that it? Was he really done with you now after all this? 

Slowly rising off of Yuji’s chest you glare down at your boyfriend as if you could somehow scowl past his body and into his soul at Sukuna.

You quietly mutter to yourself about ‘the headass lord king of body snatching curses who gots more dick in his personality than pants’ while you shuffle over to the night stand on the side of the bed. 

You turn on the small light and dig deep into the drawers to pull out a toy you saved for nights you were particularly hard up and Yuji was out on a mission. 

Sukuna may have been ignoring you but you could no longer ignore the throbbing screaming at you between your legs. 

Maybe if you rubbed one out you could calm yourself down enough just enough to cease your anger at least. 

You needed to make an attempt to relieve yourself before you really lost your mind and did something insane like knocking the mario coins out of your sweet unsuspecting boyfriend in frustration at the curse inside of him. 

He didn’t deserve that. 

Not like he deserved any of this, the curse inside of him nor a girlfriend like you who would spread her legs so easily for a cocky smirk and a big dick.

You closed your eyes and pushed that thought aside for now. You were sweating and near shaking in need of release. 

Making yourself comfortable on the bed, you turn your vibrator on its lowest setting, so as not to disturb Yuji. 

Dragging it across your skin, you snake a path for it down past your breasts, across your belly and lower still relishing the sensations across your body. 

Licking your lips you barely ghosted your vibrator across your clit before a hand grabbed your wrist and another flung your toy across the room instantly smashing it into pieces.

“You really are a bratty fucking whore, you know that?”

The voice you immediately recognized as belonging to Sukuna. 

And how could it not be? 

It was more sultry than Yuji’s. The deep bass in his voice both teased and admonished you causing your aching clit pulsate to the rhythm of every syllable.

“As your King, I don’t recall giving you permission to touch that nasty little cunt, bitch.” 

You whined in protest and attempted to pull away but it was futile in Sukuna's grip. You could feel the fire from his touch on your wrist alone beginning to spread and torch your entire body. 

Exceeding the levels of any sexual frustration you ever knew in your life, his further denial to let you touch yourself threatened to spill the tears gathering in the corner of your eyes. 

“I don’t recall asking you, my lord,” you spat his words back at him without thinking, ��I’d ask you if you knew you were a trifling asshole but we-”

And in an instant he was on top of you.

His tattooed hands now hold both of your wrists, placing them up over your head effectively caging you in and shutting you up before you could even finish your sentence. 

Your eyes widen in response to the hot snarl of his breath and the red of his glowing eyes burrowing into you. 

The reality of who exactly you just decided to sass sunk in.

Sukuna on the other hand revels in your dismay.

“‘Eh? Triflin’” he said, mocking your tone and slang. “Me? Not the filthy slut who is begging me to use her boyfriend’s body to dick her down while he is sleeping? Then you have the fucking nerve to throw temper tantrums when I don’t.”

Fuck, he had heard your insults from earlier after all.

“You think a bratty bitch like you can summon me on your whims and so address me so casually at that? I’ve killed many for far less.”

He was close now, too close. 

However, although hovering over you Sukuna still wasn’t touching you with the exception of the bruising grip on your wrists. 

Despite the lack of contact your body still responded to the suffocating amount of heat and cursed energy radiating off his own. The intense primal instincts of your fear and arousal brewing together in your body was creating a toxic reaction, one which threatened to tear you apart if Sukuna didn’t first. 

Your lip was quivering and your body was squirming beneath him. 

You are completely at his mercy once again.

“And Yuji?” Sukuna continued mockingly. 

His face dipped closer to yours and you let out the shaky breath you weren’t even aware you were holding.

“You’re so needy after he already gave you this dick tonight too? Tsk tsk, you really are a brazen n’ greedy whore.” 

He was wrong. 

Not about you being a whore, of course.  You couldn’t deny that fact even if you wanted to at the moment. 

But he was wrong by implying it was the same as if you were with Yuji.

When Sukuna took over, except for facial similarities, he was all but a different person. 

Sukuna was taller, more muscular and thicker in all areas, his cock not being excluded from that. The tattoos that decorated his body and bound his dangerous muscles caused him to look more intimidating than Yuji ever could. 

Even his scent was different. It was almost as threatening as his presence and was intoxicatingly masculine, more alpha.  

You knew fighting him further was a losing battle. But you were still mad at him for ignoring you.

Nevertheless, he was here in front of you now. 

You were so close to getting what you wanted. If you had to give up more of your dignity at this point then so be it, you didn’t have much left to covet anyway. 

Completely surrendering yourself to him like the little bitch in heat that you were, you appeal to his ego in hopes he would fuck you.

“If you know I’m a whore then just fuck me like one already Sukuna. My King… please? Pretty please? I-I need you. Make me cum please.��, your saccharine tone contrasted with your depraved pleas coming out like a twisted prayer. 

You humbled yourself and hated it. It broke the tears of frustration that had built in your eyes. 

Moisture spilled down the sides of your face, yet you blinked through them in order to maintain eye contact with him. 

The desperation that called to him from every fiber of your being was apparent to Sukuna, his smirk widening at your distress. 

Releasing your hands in favor of your neck, a hand enclosed it applying pressure as he licked a tear trail down the side of your face.

“Tch, Even when desperate and begging you still can’t help but to be an insolent brat”, he whispered, blowing warm air into you that made you tingle.

That’s when you felt his tongue salaciously lick into your ear before pulling back to bite and suck at your lobe and neck, leaving more marks for you to try to cover in the morning.

The full weight of Sukuna’s naked body was now pressed upon yours. You whimpered as he had finally granted you the contact you craved for.  

You could feel his heavy cock begin to twitch on your belly. You panted as you arched up into him, rubbing against his form creating beautiful friction between you both sending you into euphoria. 

But as quickly as the contact was given, it was taken away.

“You should know by now, Y/N.... Disobedient brats need to be punished.”

Part 2

This was originally supposed to be a one-shot but it got a little out of control with writing the lewd scenes. Part 2 is almost done and is FILTHY omg. I will try to post by tomorrow night or Saturday. (updated as of 9/12).

Lol also for anyone who doesn't know Reggae Punch is actually a popular drink in Japan. I did not make that up. It really doesn't have much alcohol content in it at all. But I LOL'd at Gojo tricking them into drinking Jungle Juice cause its literally night and day.

Also imo, Nanami and his salaryman vibe you know would win a drinking contest out of any JJK man so thats canon to me (excluding Toji as according to official fanbook alcohol has zero effect on him so he doesn't even drink it).

Any mistakes please DM, no rude or criticizing comments please.

P.S. I promise I don't hate Yuji.

Reblogs, likes, comments appreciated!!

© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

[uwurakax]

˖ ˳·˖ 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏, 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐊𝐀𝐈'𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄! ᥫ᭡

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 finding an obscure otome game on the internet wasn't on your 2024 bingo card, but with only the cover art and no blurb, you decided to give it a shot. it looked promising enough at the start, and nothing could go wrong, right? ✩

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 various jojo's characters x f!reader

𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 otome || university/college!au || isekai || alt!universe ||

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 cursing (duh) || me thinking im funny asf || dio

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 2.8k

masterlist || next

-> 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You liked to think that you were an otome game expert. Even if it sounded… strange to the everyday person, it was your niche and who didn't have an out there hobby anyway? Supply and demand, right?

So you’d pride yourself on your extensive, and completely useless, knowledge regarding fictional pixel romance.

That was how you found yourself here, at two in the morning researching a really obscure listing of a dating game that you had never heard of before. There was no description, release date or year, and no mention of a publisher found anywhere.

A Bizarre Dating Adventure.

That was all you had to work with, the title of this so called game. There wasn't even an item picture uploaded. Spending a whopping thirty minutes gave way to absolutely nothing and you weren't going to lie, you were pretty miffed about it. A piece of so-called lost media just happened to be put on sale on a totally legitimate looking website at the grand old price of.. wait, $10?

Now you were intrigued. An otome game for that price? There was no way this was authentic when games of this nature cost upwards of $50 to $80.

With a few more clicks on your laptop, you came to find out there was free shipping included as well.

That was surely safe, you thought to yourself in your sleep deprived mind.

You faltered for a moment before closing the tab, shutting off your device and promptly collapsing onto your bed for the sleep your body craved hours ago.

Damn, you’ll feel that tomorrow.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The following days were mundane at best, your mind drifting to the odd listing of the game. The circumstances alluded you, and during your free time, you found yourself naturally going back to it. Exploring any and every corner you could, even going on the occasional forum. You didn't get much information however, and it seemed the more you looked, the more elusive it seemed.

How was it that no one else seemed to know of this game? Surely that wasn't possible.

It became more and more tempting to just shot the odds and buy it outright and trying it yourself, but you were still apprehensive.

The website didn't do any favours for itself, looking like it hadn't been updated since 2009, and there didn't seem to be any reviews on the authentication of the site either.

You groaned, sinking back into your chair and staring at your ceiling. Closing your eyes, you cautiously rubbed at them, deep in thought as the listing displayed at attention on your screen.

With a deep inhale you leaned forward again, focused as your hand hovered over the trackpad. The inner debate followed; curiosity killed the cat…

but satisfaction brought it back.

Super sketchy website, but if you played it smart, you wouldn't need to give out too much of your personal information. Plus it was dirt cheap for what it claimed it was.

‘Fuck it’, with a click and a few taps of your keyboard filling the otherwise silent bedroom, you received a congratulatory email and in red capital letters were the words ‘SOLD’ on the now ended post.

And so, you were now the future owner of the enigmatic video game, and if you so happened to be scammed… rest in peace that ten bucks.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You were honestly pleasantly, and weirdly, surprised at how quickly your package arrived. Didn't you just order this thing yesterday? The no bigger than A4 sized parcel sat at your doorstep in a white bubble mailer, perched upright. The keys jingled in your hand as you bent down to pick it up, purse falling forward slightly in an uncomfortable manner. Your mood was already soured from the days events, and any little inconvenience had grated you. You were about to roughly shove your bag back and open your door when you realised there was no label stuck to your package. You flipped it over, only to find the same blank space.

That's definitely not worrying at all.

You jammed the key inside your door and forced your way inside with an all too loud slam. You knew you shouldn't have trusted that damn website. Now some axe murdering lunatic knows where you live! You could feel the nerves wash over you, and your heart began to palpitate. Twisting the deadbolt lock on your door gave you some sense of security, but it did little to appease you.

Tossing your keys and bag on your coffee table, you sat into your much too old and worn out lounge as you ripped the parcel open.

Discarding the plastic wrapping, you’d clean it up later, you found that inside was a small case with what you suspected was the game. There was nothing of note on the back, no text, rating, or any other information found. Turning it over, you saw the images of various male characters decorating the cover.

These must be the leads.

You glanced over each of the men as your fingers traced their features.

Four blondes, one brunette, one with dark blue hair, another with dark purple, one with a green undercut, a redhead and at the center was a brooding character with black hair and a tipped down cap.

What an interesting cast.

You couldn't help but wonder what made the creator go for ten different routes. It wasn't like that was unheard of, but it was quite a larger cast of romantic interests. In the midst of your thoughts, you felt a chill.

Like you were being watched.

Walking over to your kitchen window you looked outside, hand still holding onto the keep case. You stayed there for a few seconds, looking at the now setting sun against the trees. The orange glow offers little warmth within your small apartment. You gaze back down at the cover art, focusing on the dark, capped character. You didn't know why, but there was something unsettling about them. The longer you looked, the more the feeling began to fester. Gently facing it down on the marble counter, you headed into your bedroom to shower and change; hopeful that a new set of clothes and washing the day's grime away would lighten your mood.

Spoiler alert, it didn't.

Clad in only a towel, you went back into the kitchen to get a drink, throat parched and getting dry. You drank the cool beverage as your eyes began to wander back to the faced down disc. You still felt unexplainably wary, but it didn't feel so bad in that moment.

Gosh, you were such an idiot, who gets freaked over plastic?

You took the few steps towards it and turned it back over again. Tapping your fingers against the countertop in thought you wondered if you should actually play the game. It's highly possible it was just some kind if virus ready to wipe your entire harddrive, but your curiosity was getting the better of you.

You really needed to see what this was, consequences be damned!

Deciding that you’ll use your old high school laptop, you headed back to the bedroom to change into comfortable clothing. You found a pair of old white, cotton shorts and your well loved gray t-shirt that was much too big for you, left behind by a long forgotten ex. You couldn't even remember his name, or maybe you didn't want to remember. He was an ex for a reason, but the shirt sure was comfortable and his loss for leaving it with you. The only scent lingering on it was your own, so by definition and for all intents and purposes, it was yours.

Placing the game on your desk, you went rummaging around your room for the laptop.

Searching high and low; under your bed and in the wardrobes, resulted in nothing. You spend a good twenty minutes before checking the drawers of your desk and finding it hidden under stacks of scrap bits of paper in the bottom drawer. How cliché, and of course it was there.

Agitated, you moved your current laptop away and plugged in the old tried and true. It got you through high school, so hopefully it’ll make it through this.

Though you had hoped inside it wasn't a dud, as you began to feel sentimental about the outdated electronic.

If it did, you'd think about setting aside the money to have it fixed, even if it wasn't worth it - and it most definitely wouldn't be worth it.

You waited a couple of minutes for the thing to boot up, dusting off the slight dirt that accumulated from its lack of use. The age of the laptop was clear as you heard the fan blare to life.

Would it even be able to run the thing? There's no way you'd risk your actual computer on this…

Once deemed ready enough, you pressed down on the disc drive a couple of times, using much more than necessary force on the last push when the reader wouldn't open.

You waited impatiently as it closed with a quiet click, tracing your finger over the trackpad as the cursor moved violently across the screen.

You kept waiting… and waiting… and waiting… until….

Black.

The screen had shut off, and no amount of pressing the power button, force restarting the laptop or even hitting it did anything.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” the disbelief and anger present in your tone as you plugged the charger cable in and out of the port.

You weren't entirely surprised it was a scam, a virus now killing your laptop, but that didn't mean you weren't any less pissed.

Yeah you were lucky it was an old laptop, anything on it long since gone when the thing was reset before you graduated, but still…

What a waste of a laptop and the ten dollars spent on a useless thing. On the off chance that the laptop's hardware was too old to run it, you couldn't even get the disc back unless you wanted to pry the drive reader open and damage it further.

With a huff you slammed the laptop shut, grabbing your phone and laying down in your bed. You’d figure out what to do when you had time, but you were too upset to deal with your broken device now.

At least you had the sense to use an old laptop with no data. Gotta take those silver linings.

To lift your spirits, you ordered some takeaway, eagerly awaiting to stuff your face full of the greasy food. After the later half of the day, you felt like you deserved it, and the knock on your door couldn't come soon enough.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Switching off your television, you reached beside you and tapped on your phone screen to check the time.

10:34pm.

You debated whether you did want to sleep now, but your body decided to answer for you as you let out a loud yawn.

Your lounge was pretty comfortable right now, but after previous experiences, you'd definitely be feeling it in the morning.

The longer you stayed, the more difficult it would be to leave so you quickly got up, threw away the rubbish from your order and went on to do your nightly routine.

After the final step of brushing your teeth, you went to bed, flicking off the bedroom light before you looked towards your desk. Your laptop illuminating a glow along the edge.

Well that's suspicious… that's weird…

You shook your head off the image and voice of Cardi B and slowly sat down at your desk. Tentatively reaching out and opening the laptop you were met with a title screen.

A Bizarre Dating Adventure.

A deep blue background with the words in a hot pink gradient that faded to white. Deep violet coloured roses garnished the sides as different hues of purple petals fell from the top of your screen.

A Bizarre Dating Adventure, that was the name of the game from the listing, wasn't it?

Absentmindedly, your middle finger moved across the trackpad, white sparkles glittering off the cursor with every motion.

Surely a few minutes wouldn't hurt right? Just to get a feel and understanding of the game.

Small, white text slowly flashed underneath the title text reading ‘PRESS SPACE TO START.’

“Here goes nothing.” you murmured, as the screen faded to black, shrouding your entire room in darkness as well.

After a few seconds of nothing, you became apprehensive. You silently prayed that it didn't conk out on you again. There was no way you’d be teased like this.

It felt like a minute before the black screen started to light up again imperceptibly, a slight purple tinge colouring against the blackness. More white text appeared.

>> ‘HELLO’

You awaited the continuation, but nothing else had occurred, the bold letters staring at you. You clicked all over the screen and tapped enter, but there was still nothing. On a whim, you ran your hand over your keyboard to see it typed into the screen, right underneath the greeting.

How peculiar.

You held backspace to remove what was a mess of letters and numbers before typing back a ‘HI’ and hitting enter.

>> ‘ARE YOU THE NEW STUDENT?’

New student? Was this game set in a school?

> NEW STUDENT?

>> ‘AT SWF UNIVERSITY’

At least it wasn't in high school, thank goodness. You’d be damned to face another high school otome game. Figuring this was how the game went, but deciding to see what would happen you typed,

> NO

You tried to hit enter, but nothing happened. I guess it wouldn't accept that answer. You deleted the text before following what you assumed to be the correct response,

> YES

>> WELL, AREN’T YOU A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES

The text response was different now, a yellow instead of the earlier white. You felt a shiver run up you, looking behind at your empty room. You sensed that something was wrong, yet you didn't know why.

>> WHAT’S WRONG? SCARED?

Okay this wasn't funny, and this disc was obviously some kind of troll or some deep web, tracking crap. At minimum it was designed to scare you and at most… well you didn't want to think about that.

> A LITTLE

You don't know why you decided to be somewhat honest, but something was telling you that it would be better than lying. Not like it mattered much.

>> HMM, YOU SHOULD BE

You kept rereading the text before the screen flashed with your name, repeating over and over and over again.

Fuck that!

You unplugged the charger, covering your room, once again in darkness. Your breathing became laboured, as your heart beat thundered furiously in your chest, threatening to explode. That most definitely was some type of tracking, data hacking bullshit! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

What were you supposed to do now?! Call the police? Move? You were only kind of kidding about being sent the disc by an axe murderer, but it was now a very real possibility.

You tried in vain to calm down, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. This was so stupid! So completely, utterly and devastatingly s, t, u, p, i, d! You closed the lid and shoved it back into the drawer. It gave you some semblance of safety. Tomorrow you’d go far away and toss it in a random dumpster. To hell with sentimentality, that laptop was now dead to you.

You wished it would've worked earlier, at least then you would've been able to dispose of it. There's no way you were leaving your unit now at this hour.

Maybe you shouldn't throw it away and instead give it to the proper authorities? But if it was just some troll, you'd either be laughed at out of the station, or berated for wasting their time with nonsense.

You triple checked your deadbolt and closing every curtain, also ensuring that every window was sealed shut and locked.

Retreating back to your room you hid under the covers, the fluffy security net doing little to curb the anxiety that was manifesting inside.

You were surprised to feel yourself growing drowsier, the cute cat compilation video that you put on was only 6 minutes in.

You fell asleep shortly after that, your phone showing a ginger cat jumping off a shed roof and face planting into the concrete.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You woke up with a start, sitting up as you gasped for breath. You could feel the slight sweat covering your body, a stuffiness surrounding you as you attempted to slow down your breathing. You looked around the room, a new panic forming as you saw the furniture and belongings of someone who was definitely not you.

Your room didn't look like this! Neither was that desk, or that chair! These sheets weren't yours either.

You closed your eyes as your breathing picked up again, thinking of what to do next before your phone went off with a ding.

Reaching down, you unlocked your phone screen as the words ‘A BIZARRE DATING GAME’ faded into view.

Uhm…

WHAT THE FU-

[marlynnofmany]

Cave Space

The mechanic’s shop was the loudest and dirtiest place I’d seen on this space station so far, and somehow that was comforting. All the ritzy retail stores and elaborate restaurants tried to look as fancy as possible, even the cheap ones. But this place felt honest and straightforward. It had bare concrete floors and the kind of shelf displays that didn’t bother with signs to actually explain what you were looking at. A real mechanic would know.

I had no idea, but I was just here to help haul things. Blip and Blop might have been a better choice if the things in question proved to be heavy, but they were off wrangling jumbo tubs of food and medical supplies with Eggskin, and anyways we had the big hoversled this time. It would probably be fine.

Mimi was talking fast with an employee about manifolds and vents and lots of other words, waving a couple green tentacles while he stood on the rest. The employee was the biggest Heatseeker I could remember seeing, which was still only mid-rib-height on me. He reminded me of the short gym guys from back home, able to build muscle in every direction but up.

A box thumped onto a counter near me. “You here to help lift and pull?”

I found an older human woman grinning at me, wearing a tank top covered in grease and long white hair held back in a ponytail. Also the kind of arm muscle that said she yanked engines out of spaceships for fun.

“Something like that,” I said with a smile. “Gotta make sure nothing falls off the sled.”

She waved a hand. “Ah, we’ll strap it down for you. There’s enough ramps around here to cause problems if we don’t.”

“I bet,” I said, thinking back to the last time I’d chased something important down a hill. “Don’t want to risk any explosions or chemical spills.”

“Or slamming a gear shaft into the side of a building,” she agreed. “There was a bit of a mess the last time someone was sure they didn’t need their stuff tied down.”

I winced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah, it’s standard procedure now,” she said, opening the box to pull out multiple smaller boxes, all labeled with arcane terminology and numbers. They rattled as she stocked them on the shelf under the counter. “If they’d asked me, it would have been standard from the start, but what do I know? I’ve only been doing this kind of work for decades, on more planets than I care to count.”

“Sounds exciting,” I said as she finished stocking. “I haven’t been out here all that long by comparison, but there’s always something new to see.” A glance around the shop took in rows of alien technology, a Heatseeker with scales painted silver, and one of those centipede-like people whose species name I didn’t remember. I was pretty sure they were looking at a jetpack display.

“Oh sure, plenty of weirdos out here,” the woman said easily, ripping tape off the box and flattening it. “Though it’s easy to tip over from marveling at the wonders to feeling the kind of intense homesickness that you get when you’re light years away from home.”

“I suppose so.” I’d been pretty lucky on that front, since my alien coworkers were friendly sorts who made me feel welcome. But there were times when the sheer amount of empty space between me and Earth was a little too much to think about.

“You’ve got to find ways to remind yourself of where you come from, and take pride in it,” the older woman said with a pointed finger, like a grandparent giving career advice. “Recreate bits of home while you’re far from it.”

I thought back to the potted plants and sun lamp in my quarters, kept high enough that the cat couldn’t chew on them. “I like to think I do that,” I said. “Do you have a preferred method? Classic Earth songs, googly eyes stuck in funny places?”

She barked a laugh. “Ha! Nothing I’d admit to. But I’ll show you my current favorite touchstone to humanity.” She dug in a pocket.

I stepped closer, curious, as she pulled out something palm-sized. She rested her elbows on the counter and held it up, framed by splayed fingers with appropriate drama.

It was a rock, smooth and shiny like it had been polished by a river and then by a thick layer of varnish, and it was covered in minuscule handprints. All in earthtones, like a cave painting reduced to pocket size: some in silhouettes like tiny hands had pressed mud or ash against the cave wall, and others shadowed by color like the prehistoric artist had chewed charcoal and spat it carefully around their fingers.

(I’d done that in school one day, with one of the cool teachers, who taught us the basics of humanity’s oldest style of airbrushing. It was incredibly messy and trickier than I’d expected. It gave me renewed respect for the artists from eons ago whose artwork had survived into modern times.)

And this was that same thing, made small enough to carry around the galaxy, a tiny reminder of home. “That’s fantastic,” I breathed.

“Isn’t it?” she asked, rubbing at the shine. “I got it from a traveling artist awhile back. If I was in a different line of work, I’d sell clothes with this pattern on them. It’s the kind of thing that makes other Earthlings smile.” She stood up and put it back in her pocket with a wink. “Not like googly eyes, but still good.”

“Yes, still good!” I agreed, smiling. I would have liked to talk more about it, maybe find out where that traveling artist had gone, but Mimi was wrapping up his conversation. A door opened to admit a trio of Heatseekers carrying a huge cylinder that was probably destined for somewhere in the guts of our ship.

“I’ll get the tie-down straps,” said the woman, rummaging under a different section of counter.

“Thanks,” I said, though I don’t think she heard me. The air was full of talk and the sound of clawed feet on concrete. I hurried to take up a position by the controls of the hoversled, making sure it stayed locked in place.

The team worked quickly, and in no time they had it strapped down well enough that it wouldn’t budge even if the gravity cut out completely. (Which had better not happen; I’d had more than enough of that kind of nonsense at the last station.)

Mimi processed the payment, tapping a screen with one tentacle tip and thanking the employees for having this whatsit in stock. I got the impression that it wasn’t the one he’d actually come to get, but it was better in some way or other.

“Thanks again!” I said as we tugged the sled toward the door. I waved at the other human and she waved back, two hands signaling kinship briefly across the room. Then she took her flattened box into the back and I stepped out into the artificial sunlight, looking for signs leading back to the spaceport.

The gravity behaved, and the ramps were no trouble. Blip and Blop were there to help unload the thing. I asked Mimi if he wanted three people to maneuver it into wherever it went, or if I should go put the hoversled away.

He was busy climbing inside of the cylinder with a flashlight, for whatever reason. “Nah, not enough space for everybody,” his gravelly voice echoed. “Let me just — really? Another one?” A faint squeak sounded like he was rubbing a tentacle against the side.

“What is it?” I asked, bending to look inside. Blip and Blop crowded behind me, a jumble of curious muscles and silks.

Mimi grumbled, “This is the third engine part that I’ve gotten with these annoying marks. All from different sources, too. If I ever find out which finger-having species is doing it, we are going to have words.”

Deep inside the cylinder, in a spot that likely would never have been seen by anyone but an agile mechanic, was a patch of handprints. Mimi had already smeared the ones made in grease, but the others looked like they might have been paint. All in earthtones. A cave painting in the depths of a spaceship.

Blip and Blop chorused, “Not it.”

I bit my lip to hide a smile. “It’s a mystery.”

~~~

Inspired by this excellent artwork by @letmeinimafairy! It deserved at least one story, if not several.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Spooktober. Lantern

Self-Aware! Ichiyo Higuchi x GN! Reader x Self-Aware! Natsume Soseki

Description: You and Higuchi are trying to praise an ugly decorative lantern, and Natsume is a cat.

Warning: OOC. English is my second language. Fluff. Short

A/N: A short fic for a Spooktober.

You were eyeing a decorative lantern on your table. It was a present from one of your distant uncles. He worked in a decor stores and, for some reason, took half of his paycheck in decorations.

Probably for presents.

You weren't against a new decor item. But, you were against this one lantern.

It was ugly. Not in a "cute ugly, "Halloween ugly" or a "funny ugly" way. In an "ugly and cheap" way. The mansion might not have a luxurious decor, but you still have standards.

And you can't get rid of it. Because your uncle used a courier to deliver the lantern to you, and you were currently on the video call with the uncle, and he knew and saw, that lantern were in good shape. And, if you threw it away, he will be disappointed.

"So, what do you think?" your uncle sounded proud of himself. You were thinking for the best way to answer his question. Higuchi decided to fill the awkward silence.

"It looks... unique." she tried not to look at the lantern or at the monitor. You slowly nodded.

"Yes... Unique..."

Your uncle frowned.

"You didn't like it?"

You quickly grabbed the phone and start circling around the living room, shoving it to your uncle.

"No, I like it. It will be the great audition for the room, see? Everyone will pay attention to it the moment they come in."

Higuchi lips moved, but she didn't make a sound. Thanks to Gide and Rimbaud, you started to learn, how to read lips.

"Not in a good way. It's ugly and have no place in this house." Higuchi noticed your look. "What? [Y/N], honey, don't tell me, that you disagree?"

You didn't show your disappointment in Higuchi. Because you weren't disappointed, and secretly agree with her.

Still, you continue your honeyed words to ensure uncle's happiness.

None of you noticed a calico cat jumping on the table.

"Hm, [Y/N], I must say, your living room needs more lanterns. I will send more similar... Get away from here, your beast! Get away from the lantern!"

You and Higuchi jumped, not expecting the yelling. And then, something crashed behind your backs.

Here, on the table, Mii-chan was sitting. One of his paw was stretched out. And on the floor were the remains of the lantern.

Your uncle screamed again.

"No! You won't get another lantern from me! Not until you taught your cat, how to behave!"

Your uncle ended the call. In a second, Natsume Soseki stand up from the table, dusting himself. He gave you a sly smile.

"I am sorry, Dear Muse, for taking away your lantern supply."

You and Higuchi huffed with laughter.

"Just help me clean this mess, and you are forgiven, Mr. Cat."

Natsume gave you another smile.

"Well, I could, but I have paws..."

Okay, who taught him him about that meme? Higuchi, who was standing near you, caughed and rubbed the back of her neck. She looked embarrassed and guilty.

Huh. Either Higuchi can read minds, or you are a seer.

You raise an eyebrow.

"You having paws doesn't stand in a way of your little war with salesman from the fish market. Or did Higuchi do most of the job?"

Now both Higuchi and Natsume looked embarrassed. Yes, you knew, that the duo, for some reason, didn't like that one guy from the fish market and have a mini war against him.

You rubbed your temples.

"Let's just clean up the mess and do something more interesting or productive."

Higuchi and Natsume nodded, agreeing with you.

[guillotine-drop]

Rating POSTAL Dudes by how good they smell:

POSTAL - 9/10: I think his habitual reclusion and distrust of the world would probably mean he’s showering constantly, moreso than any other Dude, especially if he thinks there’s a ‘Hate Plague’ going on. I think he smells basic; very simple routine, just enough to make sure he feels clean, so at most he’ll smell like some generic 3-in-1 body wash and shampoo/conditioner, maybe something slightly nicer just for himself (some decent $15 aftershave for that menthol scent and cooling relief).

POSTAL Redux - 3/10: Exact opposite of his original incarnation, this greasy son of a bitch isn’t scared of shit he just wants to throw explosives at ostriches and parades. Barely showers, constantly stinks of stale sweat, old blood, cheap leather and cheaper cologne, punctuated with the scent of burnt gunpowder. Borderline noxious.

POSTAL 2 - 4/10: Smells just as bad as Redux Dude but gets the edge here because every now and then he goes outside and uses the neighbor’s hose to blast himself. Shockingly uses deodorant, still not enough to be perpetually leather and denim clad in the great state of Arizona. Almost constantly reeks of sweat and has the recognizable yet faint scent of stale piss wafting off of him, accompanied by the scent of even staler crack and pungent fast food. Almost pungent enough to drown the rest out. Almost.

POSTAL 3 - 2/10: If you were to raid the wash cart after a double overtime football game, steal every jockstrap in the place, wring the sweat into a bucket, and then bring it all to a boil, you’d have somewhere in the realm of what a clean P3 Dude smells like. On average, however, this man has managed to combine the overwhelming sensory nightmares of cat piss and cheap spray deodorant into an almost lethal concoction, ONLY made breathable by the strange and overpowering smell of gasoline that seems to seep from his pores. Approach with caution and for the love of god: do not bring bleach or matches near this freak.

POSTAL 4: No Regerts - 5/10: Despite looking like he crawled out of a dumpster after a bad divorce or a fantastic honeymoon, P4 Dude is shockingly passable in terms of being able to stand next to him for a prolonged period without gagging or killing him. Having learned the efficacy of not being encased in leather in the desert, he’s managed to bring his pungency down several notches. Still reeks of sweat most of the time, and the smell of burger grease and pepperoni follows him like a specter of death, but the piss scent stopped clinging on as hard. He’s also upgraded from hose showers with no supplies to sink baths with tiny gas station travel soaps. It’s an improvement, trust me.

Brain Damaged - 2/10: Take a look at his living space in the title screen, then watch the game’s cutscenes. Just soak it all in. Now that you’ve done that, you can understand that his rank ass smells exactly as bad as you might think it does. If it can come out of his body, it’s probably soaking some part of him. If you think any of the clothes on him have been washed, you’re wrong. This man smells like if someone firebombed an outhouse and pissed on it to put it out. The best thing for him would be getting blasted with a firehouse and a box of laundry detergent. Please.

The Other Dude - 1-10/10: Entirely depends on how the BD Dude would imagine he smells depending on the situation.

POOSTALL Dude - 6/10: Despite the name, this one actually smells pretty decent. The clearly larger coat with the rolled sleeves implies some level of understanding about how not to smell like swamp ass and sweat soaked leather, and truthfully, he looks like he bathes semi-regularly, a rarity amongst these guys.

POSTAL Doe - 9/10: I admit fully and entirely to my lack of impartiality to this one, but I’m willing to stand by it even if I lose my Stink Judge License: first of all, sleeveless leather trench coat AND a crop top mean less overheat which means less sweat. Second of all, visually cleaner than pretty much any of the dudes which implies some kind of self care regimen. Third, and most importantly, girlstink counts positive. I will not be turning in my badge or my gun.

Movie Dude - 8/10: This may be controversial, but despite the squalor he lives in and the fact that hems a cuckold and that his life sucks and that he can’t get a job and that he’s a loser- I digress. I think Movie Dude is in the top echelons of Dude Stink solely because I think he’d have a breakdown if he smelled bad. This man uses Dr. Teals. He stinks like a mix of eucalyptus and peppermint. If ever there was a Dude who had a skin routine, he still wouldn’t, but he’d definitely think about it one day. I think by the end he gets an extra point just because he gets a little hotter the more deranged he is. Overall very pleasant but I still wouldn’t give him $4.

John Murray - 2/10: Hasselridge seems to have a very… interesting relationship with what is and isn’t normal, so unsurprisingly, Johnny Boy would probably smell pretty rough. Considering how dingy, run down and shitty everything in that town appears to be, I can’t imagine anyone else is smelling like roses either. Just avoid the entire place, not least of all because of the zombie thing.

Shtopor - 0/10: Bad.

Nottem Portant - 5/10: Despite the misanthropy, dollar store Nathan Explosion thing and the absolutely abysmal gameplay, Mr. Hatred is actually extremely middle of the road on stink. Sure, he doesn’t smell great, but shockingly he washes his ass despite the whole ‘death to humanity’ thing. He does get point deduction for not washing his hair though, grease mop motherfucker.

[choerypetal]

The Perfect Love / Halsin

summary: while battling against the Durge and embracing your new you. you struggled to pinpoint the source of your envy towards the elf druid you had been ordered to save and return to the grove. it wasn't until one night, with perhaps a bit of help from a mischievous vamping, that the true nature of your feelings began to surface.

ps ; english isn't my first language but i hope you appreciate this story!

words ; 2654

Halsin was a man unto himself, his charm both undeniable and somehow elusive. Admirers far outnumbered foes, drawn to the balance he maintained with nature and the quiet prosperity he exuded. He wasn’t just the revered druid everyone spoke about in hushed admiration—he was also a striking Elf, impossible to overlook. Those fortunate enough to attend his lectures on harmony found themselves captivated, much like you, lingering at the back of the group, ever more intrigued by his words and presence. Brooding in silence.

“You know,” Astarion’s voice slithered into your ear, his gaze flicking between you and the unfortunate soul who had become your prey that night. Although calling them a "threat" felt like an understatement—it was more of a fleeting obstacle, your mind entirely consumed by Halsin’s perfect smile. The temptation to tear Astarion to pieces in that very moment simmered just beneath the surface. “If you keep staring like that, he’ll eventually notice,” Astarion teased, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Perhaps even get nervous.”

"Nervous?" You nearly choked on your drink as the rough, cheap alcohol scraped down your throat—courtesy of the most bare-bones camp supplies Faerûn had to offer. “Don’t be ridiculous,” you shot back, trying to sound confident. Astarion, however, was anything but convinced, the arch of his brow giving you away before you even finished. “I mean, just look at him. I bet half the people listening to him right now are only here for his looks. His perfect eyes, his perfect hair, his perfect mus—” Your words faltered as you realized the dangerous path you were treading. Complimenting Halsin's physical perfection was not where you wanted this conversation to go. Too late. You caught the wicked smirk curling Astarion’s lips, the one he reserved for moments like these—when someone proved themselves wrong. “Mus? I didn’t quite catch that, darling,” he teased, eyes glittering with mischief.

The emphasis on the word had only deepened your worry, and now your gaze locked with the vampire spawn’s. Astarion leaned in closer, his silhouette casting a shadow over you as if daring you to continue. His smug satisfaction was unmistakable, reveling in the fact that he had you cornered. You tried your best not to fall into his trap, but the pull of his teasing was undeniable. 

“Astarion, I won’t say it,” you insisted, voice strained, struggling to hold onto your pride. “It’s not in my nature to—” But even as the words left your mouth, the smirk on his lips grew wider, knowing full well he’d already won.

“Nature of what?” That voice—rich and unmistakable—cut through the tension, catching both you and Astarion off guard. While Astarion had been thoroughly enjoying his own mischief, his amusement quickly faded as the shadowy figure stepped closer, drawing both of your attentions. Even Astarion, usually so composed, faltered. A delicate flush bloomed across his pale cheeks as he hurriedly returned his lips to the rim of his wine glass, avoiding further scrutiny. The silence stretched long enough for you to wrestle with the question, wondering why Astarion, of all people, had fallen so quiet. Then came the follow-up, dripping with amusement: “Or has the cat caught your tongue now?”

A small cough escaped Astarion, his amusement evident as a few splashes of wine dripped onto his pale skin. He quickly stifled a laugh, wiping the droplets with one finger, his gaze dancing between you and Halsin. The druid's expression was endearing—innocent, really—blissfully unaware of the conversation he’d nearly walked in on. Astarion, ever the opportunist, made a mental note to bet some gold next time, just for the chance to see your face at a moment like this again.

Your eyes followed Astarion’s motion, and when they landed on Halsin, your heart nearly skipped a beat. Halsin, with his effortlessly handsome features, was now looking directly at you. The sudden shift in your demeanor—cheeks flushed, eyes wide, and brows raised as if you'd seen a ghost—hadn’t escaped him. "My dear Y/N," he remarked, a soft concern in his voice, "you look a bit flushed. Are you alright? Do you need me to fetch something to cool you down?"

But the worries faded into the background as Astarion's laughter echoed through the air, his amusement wrapping around every word. "Oh no," he began, clearly relishing the moment. Because when the attention wasn’t on him, Astarion always found a way to redirect it. "Actually, it’s—"Before he could finish, your hand shot up, covering his lips. You couldn’t let him say it, not here, not in front of Halsin and the others, all of whom were now watching intently. The last thing you needed was for your rambling to be exposed.

"I—I must go. I'm so sorry," you stammered, your voice trembling with nervousness. Halsin’s brow furrowed in concern, his keen eyes noticing the slight shake of your fingers as they fell away from Astarion’s mouth. The druid could sense your anxiety, but what puzzled him more was the question that lingered in his mind: why did you always seem so flustered around him?

As Halsin watched you retreat to your tent, his brows knitted in confusion. Astarion, still amused, casually wiped away the remnants of your hand from his lips, further drawing Halsin's attention. The druid, perplexed, turned to him with a quiet question. "Care to explain why she acts like this around me? Every time I try to approach her, she either freezes or... leaves."

Astarion, for once, refrained from teasing, but the air of mischief lingered around him. Meanwhile, the camp, already buzzing from the commotion you’d stirred, was now curious, eyes darting between Halsin and your tent. Amidst the rising murmur, it was Shadowheart who finally spoke on your behalf.

“I can’t say for certain,” she began, her voice calm, “but she’s been like that ever since you joined us. Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s something she’s quite ready to share.” Her gaze softened as she looked in your direction, a quiet understanding in her tone. "Give her time." The camp fell quiet again, though Halsin couldn't shake the feeling there was more to your behavior than what met the eye.

Gale nodded thoughtfully, stroking his chin before offering his own insight. "I’ve noticed something too," he said, his tone measured. "It seems to happen most often when you're teaching, Halsin. As someone who’s done a fair bit of teaching myself, I understand the challenge. When two lives—especially so different—cross paths, tensions can arise. And, let’s face it, good looks don't make things any easier." He offered a wry smile. "It’s no surprise you have admirers, Halsin. But I have a suspicion that our dearest Y/N might be dealing with a bit of… jealousy."

Halsin’s brows raised slightly in surprise, though he remained silent, the new piece of information settling in. Gale’s words made sense, but they only deepened the mystery for the druid, whose mind now lingered on the complexity of your reactions around him.

Astarion raised his glass with a triumphant grin, clearly reveling in Gale’s conclusion. “Gale, you’re absolutely right! She can be hard to read at times, but jealousy? That’s crystal clear. It’s obvious she’s got a thing for our charming druid.” He turned, his smirk widening as he gestured toward Halsin. “After all, we elves are just naturally irresistible, aren’t we, Shadowheart?”

Shadowheart, caught off guard, gave Astarion a sidelong glance, clearly unamused by his antics. “I wouldn’t count on all elves being charming,” she replied dryly, though her gaze softened briefly toward Halsin. “But I’ll admit, Halsin does have… a presence.” Halsin, for his part, shook his head with a quiet chuckle, though Gale’s observation and Astarion’s playful commentary left him more curious than ever. Could it really be jealousy? The idea seemed both flattering and perplexing.

As the party continued to banter about your supposed jealousy, Halsin’s gaze drifted elsewhere, lost in thought. He found himself reflecting on his time teaching the others about nature. It struck him as odd that, despite his dedication as a teacher, it wasn’t the admiration or the attention he received that seemed to unsettle you. What truly seemed to bother you was the constant presence of admirers crowding around him, often preventing you from even getting a simple greeting.

While some might view the notion as a bit far-fetched, Halsin understood the frustration. It wasn’t just about the superficial interactions; it was the lack of meaningful connection. You were always on the periphery, never having the chance to truly get to know him. Despite his knowledge of you, the details of your life remained largely unknown to him. This disparity in understanding seemed to create a barrier, one that he now felt compelled to address.

“I’d suggest you go talk to her,” Astarion’s voice interrupted Halsin’s thoughts, his gaze fixed on your tent. The druid's brows furrowed as he considered the suggestion. "She’s probably sleeping by now—" Astarion shook his head, dismissing the notion. “You know her better than that. She’s either restless or busy with something else.”

Determined to resolve the uncertainty, Halsin approached your tent, only to be met with faint, sorrowful sounds coming from within. The cries were soft but unmistakable. They cut through the night air, revealing a vulnerability that neither he nor Astarion had anticipated. The realization that you were struggling alone hit him hard, stirring a sense of urgency and empathy in the druid.

“Y/N…?” Halsin’s voice was soft but clear, cutting through the darkness of the tent. Though you were numb and struggling with your inner turmoil, the sound of his voice was unmistakable. A surge of jealousy and frustration surged within you, a painful reminder of your emotions. 

You fought the impulse to lash out, the temptation to hurt him as a way to release your pent-up feelings. Tears, which had momentarily dried, began to well up again. Desperate to maintain some semblance of control, you turned away, trying to cover your face and silence your sobs, hoping he would take the hint and leave you in peace.

But Halsin did not leave. He remained steadfast, his concern growing stronger. When he managed to peek through the tent, he saw you as he had anticipated—your face flushed, your body curled up as if to shield yourself from the world. The faint cries he'd heard earlier were now more apparent, a stark contrast to the usually composed and serene image you presented.

“Are you afraid of me?” he wondered aloud, though he quickly dismissed the thought. It couldn't be fear, he reasoned. If anything, it was something deeper. He began to pull away, respecting your apparent wish for solitude, but you reached out, your hand gently gripping his arm. Your touch was hesitant but firm, a silent plea that spoke louder than words. "Please, I beg you," you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of desperation and vulnerability.

Halsin stopped, his heart aching at the sight of your struggle. It was clear now that your need for help outweighed your desire for isolation. He knelt beside you, his voice soft but determined. “I’m here,” he said gently. “Tell me what’s wrong. Let me help you.”

Halsin’s soft features met yours as your gaze finally connected. His lips curved into a reassuring smile, a silent promise of support and understanding. Without needing to say more, he accepted your plea, recognizing that it went beyond mere words or shared battles. 

He understood that these moments of vulnerability were crucial, that his presence was more important than any simple greeting or fight alongside you. If nights like these required extra effort, he was more than willing to give it. The reassurance in his eyes spoke volumes, a quiet commitment to stand by you and help you through the darkness, no matter how long it took.

When Halsin settled down beside you, preparing to wrap his arms around your waist, you instinctively rushed to him. It was as if the shelter you’d been seeking was right there in front of you. Halsin chuckled softly, his voice carrying a hint of playful reproach. “You know,” he began with a scoff of laughter, “I always wondered why you seemed so distant during my lectures. Aren’t my classes engaging enough?” His tone was light, almost mockingly offended.

Despite the fact that your discomfort had nothing to do with his teaching or demonstrations, you felt a flush creep onto your cheeks. It was hard to ignore the feelings bubbling up inside you. “Would I be damned if I admitted that it’s because I find you utterly breathtaking?” you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper, the warmth of your blush reflecting your sincerity.

Halsin’s laughter joined yours, his amusement genuine as he found your comment both adorable and endearing. Yet, beneath the surface, he sensed that your feelings ran deeper than mere admiration. The revelation that you were the Durge—an identity everyone spoke of—had shifted his understanding of you.

As you spoke, your voice carried a tremor of vulnerability. “But it’s also my fear of being alone,” you began, your eyes fixed on him. “Being the Durge has its advantages, but it also feels like a curse. Ever since my father, Bhaal, and my siblings came into my life, I’ve struggled with the fear that no one would ever truly love me. Not even someone as wise as you.” Halsin listened intently, his gaze unwavering as he absorbed your confession. The weight of your words was not lost on him, and he felt a profound sense of empathy for the fear and loneliness you carried. His focus remained solely on you, his presence a quiet reassurance in the face of your deepest insecurities.

As you shared your fears and vulnerabilities, Halsin listened deeply, feeling a connection to your struggles. He reflected on your accomplishments, like saving the grove and rescuing Zevlor and others from the goblin camp. These were feats he often spoke of with admiration, and they were the very stories that captivated his students.

“You know,” Halsin began, a hint of pride in his voice, “I might be an accomplished teacher, but it’s actually you who excites the students the most. They’re always eager to hear about your deeds. In fact, many of them have expressed a wish to meet you. But I’ve been hesitant, understanding that you don’t seek the spotlight.”

He looked at you with a reassuring smile, his words conveying both admiration and a deep respect for your desire for privacy. “You’ve made a greater impact than you realize, and while you might not seek attention, your actions speak volumes to those who know about them.”

You listened intently, your fingers gently cupping Halsin's face as you lifted your head from his chest to meet his gaze. “So that’s what Alfira was talking about last week?” you asked, a hint of shame coloring your words. “I always thought the hero was someone else in this party, considering my story.”

Halsin's lips curved into the same reassuring smile you had admired since you first met him, the same smile you had once envied but now found deeply comforting. “How about…” he began thoughtfully, “next week, I have a lecture to attend. Perhaps you could join me? It could be a first step for us to get to know each other better.” His suggestion was warm and genuine, offering a bridge between your shared experiences and the budding connection between you.

The phrase "a first step to our relationship" echoed in your mind as you continued to gaze at him. A small smile curved your lips, and with sincerity, you replied, “I would love to, Halsin.”

Halsin’s heart warmed at your response. He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead, drawing you closer into his embrace. The warmth of his touch was soothing, a comforting reassurance that you were no longer alone.

“We will work this together, my dear.” 

[alastor-x-reader-stories]

HELLAVERSE x Reader - Part 2 of ? - Life with Owl Boi

GIF by honey-im-still-free

GIF by fatboychedda

GIF by idzymi

Summary: You're just some person who lived on your own in a slightly spooky town. Who knew demons would show up! Who knew they'd end up living with you?

Tags: Reader Insert, Hazbin Hotel Characters, Helluva Boss Characters, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Romance

Relationships: ( & for platonic, x for Romance)

Stolas & Reader, Fizzarolli & Reader, Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader

Stolas was actually a pretty good roomate. After the initial awkwardness and hour tour, you quickly established some rules:

No breaking my stuff

No stealing my stuff

No hurting my cat

No hurting me

Don't be a jerk

Stolas agreed, saying these were rather reasonable terms.

You lived in a rather run-down house which was great because it was rather cheap. It had working wifi and the roof didn't leak and the water was clean so it was ok. So what if the doors were slightly ajar and the paint was peeling?

Anyway, because you had this run-down house you had an extra room to spare. you admitted to Stolas that it was rather dusty and mainly used as a storage room but he was just flattered you were giving him his own space at all.

Between the two of you, the room got cleared out and dusted and the small family of opossums living there were chased away, You didn't know they were there but that'd explain where your peanut butter kept going.

Stolas was talkative and somehow never said a thing. He'd often ramble about plants and stars or whatever interested him at the moment but would quickly end up apologizing over and over. You let him know you didn't mind. Also that you might zone out but it had nothing to do with him you just had a hard time focusing for any extended amount of time.

"I believe that's called Attention Deficient Disorder, yes? Or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?"

You told him you had no idea and just left it at that. He didn't pry, which you were thankful for.

Stolas told you a lot of things, and you did your best to remember the things that seemed important. You got him a small potted plant you saw at the hardware store as well as some basic plant-tending supplies. He was overjoyed and was basically in tears. So much so you were confused and worried that you had done something wrong.

"O-oh my, no!" Stolas fretted, wiping the growing tears off his cheeks "These are happy tears, my friend. I just- I can't really remember the last time someone got me a gift. It makes me...it makes me happy."

That gift opened the floodgate for you to get more random things you think he'd like. Glow-in-the-dark star stickers, small succulents and flowers, a funny looking stuffed animal of indeterminable species... That last one wasn't based on anything more than you just thought it'd be something he'd like.

It was.

He hugs it in his sleep.

Once Stolas saw you fretting over bills, he started feeling kind of...well. Very guilty. He was just staying here this whole time doing nothing while you constantly gifted him with things simply because you think he'd like them (and he does! it honestly doesn't matter what it is because you gave it to him and that alone make him happy).

And here you were paying for it all. It reminded him of his rather sheltered and pampered upbringing. And how selfish and conceited he could be because of it.

So, the owl demon threw on his best human disguise, went to town, and got a job.

...

You know this because you had to comfort him after said job.

"-and they just YELLED at me because I sat down for, like, five minutes??? My feet were hurting and the customers were so mean even though I didn't do anything to them??"

Man was not made for retail. You asked him why he got a job at all. His answer made you feel rather fuzzy on the inside. You hadn't even brought that up, but he noticed and tried to help.

You still asked him to quit because of how stressed he was. Maybe he can be like a live-in maid kind of thing? You couldn't really pay him for that but you'd take care of the money stuff... He agreed to that but insisted he try to find a different job.

You were just confused as to how he got one so quickly in the first place.

Eventually, life calmed down and you and your new roommate got into a bit of routine. Work, play, research ways to return to Hell, etc etc...

...then The Storm hit.

[buckysgrace]

Strings and Rats

Billy Hargrove X Fem!reader

Flufftober 2024 Closer to My Heart

Billy and Theo help you decorate your classroom for Halloween.

Saturdays weren’t supposed to be spent inside, cramped into your room as you tripped and stumbled to get things ready for next week. But that’s what you were doing. You had a lot of work to get done before Monday. 

The rays from the sun glimmered in through the window, bringing your classroom to a gentle hue as you bustled in bags and bags of decorations. They were cheap, but cute. Something that would make the kids amused, rather than frightened. 

“Why do you need all of this?” Billy questioned, dark eyebrows furrowing together as he gently placed some of the glitter covered pumpkins on one of your many shelves. You were on your tippy toes, trying to get your halloween lights across your whole room. 

“It’s fun,” You told him seriously, “And the kids like it, right?” You turned towards the four year old who stalled near your chair, raising his eyebrows high before he realized what you had asked. 

“Yeah!” Theo proclaimed as he held a stack of Halloween picture books in his arms, “It fun!” He nodded his head encouragingly before he dropped the books off in front of your shelves.

Billy walked towards you, holding onto your waist with one hand and gripping your fingers with the other to help you down from the chair. You watched as he pulled himself up instead, balancing awkwardly for a second before he started to fix the lights over the window. 

“Don’t you two go trick or treating?” You asked him curiously, trying not to stare at his exposed skin as his shirt began to pull up over his abdomen. You admired his golden skin, his tan fresh from the previous day when the three of you had spent the day at the beach. 

“Of course,” Billy nodded in agreement, leaning forward to reach the far end of the window, “But I don’t decorate.” You gasped at his revelation, realizing that would have to drastically change. The two of you had spoken a lot about moving in together recently and you knew you couldn’t have a bare house for holidays. You loved to decorate. 

“You should,” You told him, handing Theo another stack of window slings, “It’s fun.” You persisted, heart fluttering as he jumped down to face you. His eyes twinkled like light reflecting off of the ocean, bright and welcoming. 

“The daycare pays for all of this?” He asked you as you looked around, making you scoff at his answer. They barely paid for your supplies. Any time you decorated it came out of your own pocket, but you didn’t mind. A lot of the things you reused, like the fake frightened cat on your chair. It was a fan favorite. 

“No,” You laughed softly, “I paid for all of this.” You replied proudly, feeling like the kids deserved to experience fun things throughout the day. Even if some parents didn’t necessarily enjoy this holiday. You didn’t care. 

“Assholes.” He mumbled, leaning forward to kiss your cheek. You smiled softly, enjoying the feel of his lips on his skin as he wrapped his arm around your waist. You enjoyed his warmth for a brief second, leaning against him as you breathed in his cologne. 

“Miss teachew,” Theo started as he raced towards you, “What you dwess as?” He asked you curiously, pressing his little fingers against your palm. His hair had grown out recently, but was still in the shape of a mullet. His soft bangs were pulled out of his face, pinned back so he could see better. 

“Hm,” You thought playfully, “I thought about an animal cracker.” You told him as you linked your fingers together gently, grinning at the way he furrowed his eyebrows tightly. Animal Crackers had recently become the class favorite snack. 

“How the hell are you going to do that?” Billy asked you in confusion, wearing the same expression that Theo bore. You thought it was funny how similar they looked most of the time. 

“Like the frosted ones,” You explained, already having all of the pieces to sew together in your room, “A pink dress with pom poms. Don’t you think so?” You asked him nervously, a lot more interested in what he thought now. Many things had changed within this past year. Specifically the relationship between the two of you. Billy nodded his head along, a lazy smile forming on his lips. 

“So cool!” Theo giggled, blue eyes shining with excitement, “I be a power ranger!” He proclaimed, bouncing up and down as he hopped around you and Billy. You watched in amusement, recalling how he’d been announcing that since he figured out what he wanted to be. 

“Oh,” You grinned as you played with his hair, “That is a cool one. The red one, right?” You asked him, getting a confirmation with a nod of his head. Billy had jokingly said he’d been torturing him with those movies recently. 

“Hey,” He spoke up, blinking his eyes curiously, “Daddy, what you be for Halloween?” He moved to Billy, wrapping his arm around his thigh as Billy shook his head. You listened curiously, knowing that you’d never seen him dressed up before. Unless he liked being a mechanic for Halloween too. 

“Someone cool,” Billy smiled, making the toddler giggle, “You’ll have to guess.” You watched in amusement as he squished his nose, making Theo pull away as he thought about it. 

“A dinosaur?” He asked him seriously, the freckles on his cheeks shining brightly as he turned towards you for reassurance. You nodded your head in agreement, feeling like it was a great answer. 

“No,” Billy answered with a laugh, “Not a dinosaur.” He bent over to kiss the top of Theo’s head, earning a little pout from him as he crossed his arms. He was probably getting tired, as you had spent much of the day here. Which you felt guilty about, but Billy had been so kind to offer. 

“Poop.” He stated, sighing deeply as he turned towards you for help. You shrugged your shoulders, sure that Billy wouldn’t tell you either. You’d both just have to wait and find out what he’d be dressing as. 

“We could watch a movie tonight,” You suggested, “Have you watched Beetlejuice before?” You asked, organizing the picture books on your shelves before you took a step back to inspect your classroom.

You had put up enough lights that you were sure you wouldn’t need the main ones on, they were a bit too bright anyways. You preferred to have the curtains open anyways, as the sunlight was prettier. 

You had two four foot skeletons in your classroom, one by your desk and the other by the chalkboard. You’d found little Halloween borders to place over top of it, bringing out some much needed color. There were fake pumpkins, rats and spiders scattered throughout. You’d even purchased a witch’s hat and broom for decoration, as well as little hanging ghosts. It was cluttered, but cute. 

“Uh,” Theo thought about it, then looked to Billy for clarity, “Nope!” He said quickly, balancing more fake rats on the front of your desk. He had rearranged them four different times now, apparently deciding that there was a better way to do it each time. You’d offered him one of them, as he seemed so keen in petting them. 

“We should watch it,” You suggested, “Family Video isn’t too far away.” You suggested slyly, enjoying the way Billy stuttered towards you. You had already taken up half of his dresser, spending more time at his apartment than your own. It really didn’t make sense to spend money on your own rent anymore. 

“Hm,” Billy grinned as he wrapped his arms around your waist, “As long as I get to pick out the second one.” He mused as he thought about it, even though you knew he enjoyed movies. You had recently found out that he got too competitive during board games. Neither of you were allowed to play those for a while now. 

“Nothing too scary.” You told him, more concerned with Theo than yourself. He already had an avid imagination, you didn’t want him to start drawing creepy pictures. 

“For when Theo goes to bed.” He shrugged his shoulders, turning as Theo gasped loudly. He stopped his foot, pouting his lips out dramatically. 

“Hey,” He whined, “Dat no nice.” He crossed his arms over his chest, still clearly not happy with being left out whenever the two of you did things. You didn’t really mind. In fact, you were happy that Theo wanted to do so much with you. It made things easier. 

“Just teasing,” He chuckled as he picked him up, giving him a little bounce before he kissed his cheek, “Are we ready?” He asked, pretending to drop Theo before he adjusted him again. Theo giggled harshly, holding onto his father a little tighter. 

“All set,” You promised, double checking to make sure everything was in place before you grabbed your bag and keys, “Maybe we can order out tonight too, my treat.” You offered, feeling like you could at least do that since they had been forced to give up their afternoon too.

Billy opened the door to his car, holding Theo gently as he leaned inside to get him buckled into the car seat in the back. You leaned against the side of the car, once again fascinated by his exposed skin. 

“I need a new one,” He muttered when he stood up again, just narrowly avoiding smacking his head against the roof of his car. He’d done that twice in the last week, making you figure that he did that quite a bit, “He’s getting too big for it.” He commented, quickly turning away so you couldn’t see the look of remorse on his features. 

“He’s four now,” You commented, remembering how excited Theo had been at his last birthday party. You were proud of him for being able to still be happy, despite everything that had happened with his mother. Then again, you knew he was still really little. Things could change, “He’s getting bigger.” You added, only to get a grumble in response. Billy definitely liked to keep him young. 

“Daddy?” Theo asked, holding two trucks in his hands as he looked forward curiously. His fake rat was propped against his side, laying safely against him. You caught his eye, earning a smile from him.

“Hm?” Billy hummed as he waited at the busy intersection, fingers tapping against the steering wheel as he waited for the light to turn green. You could tell by his soft mannerisms that he was wanting a cigarette. 

“Can we get a kitty now?” The toddler asked, taking you by surprise. You didn’t know they had been talking about getting a cat. You blinked, then turned towards his father whose expression mirrored yours. He wasn’t aware of that either. 

“A cat?” He asked, meeting Theo’s eyes in the rearview mirror as he searched for clarity. Theo nodded along eagerly, still looking hopeful as Billy shook his head in disbelief. A cat would be a lot of work, but fun.

“Named spooky,” Theo giggled along as he explained his thought process. You thought it explained why he’d been drawing black cats recently, “Pwease.” He added sweeter, holding his hands up to his soft cheeks as he smiled gently. 

“As long as the cat is stuffed.” Billy decided at last, sending you a little smirk as Theo groaned in response. 

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Modern meet cute with a little help from Lambert's runaway pet.

The ten seconds Lambert spent staring dumbly at the now broken leash in his hand was all the time his black labrador needed to disappear from view. The man cursed before sprinting in the same direction, muttering curses in-between yelling his pets name alongside grumbled apologies to fellow pedestrians too slow to get out of his way - this was the absolute last time he bought cheap pet supplies online!

As luck would have it, Lambert didn't have to go very far before discovering his dumbass dog had made a friend; the man he'd apparently accosted giving pets with one hand whilst the other had a firm grip on the harness in an attempt to both keep the dog in one place and dissuade the attempted jumps at the cat sat on his shoulder.

"Morhen!" Lambert yelled before whistling twice and catching the attention of all three, the dog looking happy, the cat indifferent, the man indignant.

"Sorry, did - did you just call me a moron?" They spat

"Was calling my dog." Lambert clarified, "Says it right there on his collar."

The other man blinked at him, "Oh, I was wondering about the pronunciation. And that must make you-"

"Lambert. Yeah. Also on the collar." He shrugged, as Morhen trotted up to him, leaning against his leg as if he hadn't just made his owner sprint from one end of the park to the other, "I may have affectionately called him Moron a few too many times during the puppy stage and it ended up being the only thing he'd answer to but my brother insisted it was borderline animal cruelty to actually name him that and my dad was adamant he wasn't walking around in public yelling 'Moron!' So...Morhen. And for the record they were leashed but-" he held out the leash so they could see where the clip to attach it to the harness had broken clean off.

The man gave an inelegant snort in response, "Well seeing as we got your names, I'm Aiden and this-" he tilted his torso to give Lambert a better view of the tabby in a yellow harness and leash of its own, "Is Marv. You're welcome to pet him if you like."

Now it was Lambert's turn to snort, "Oh my god, that's such an old man name for a cat!" He moved closer, holding his hand out for inspection.

"Well he is an old man." Aiden cooed, giving Marv a tickle under the chin who butted his head against Aiden's in response before sniffing curiously at Lambert's fingers, "And I didn't name him, he's a rescue. It's a running joke we picked each other because we're a matching set."

Lambert gave them both a quick once over to try and find some clue as to what Aiden meant. It was then he realised the cat now rubbing its head against his palm was missing it's right eye and Aiden in contrast, appeared to have lost the sight in his left if the cloudiness was any indication. The remaining eye of both was also green, although Aiden's was of a darker shade.

Lambert felt like he should says something witty or slightly profound in response. Instead, what left his mouth was "Thought one of the things about cats was that you didn't have to walk them?"

Aiden shrugged, "We like the park. My new building allows pets, but I don't have a balcony or anything and he's partially deaf as well as half blind. Not great odds against city traffic, but he goes slightly stir crazy if he's cooped up inside for too long."

Lambert nodded in understanding as Marv's purrs grew in volume. As much of a pain in the ass Morhen could be, the thought of anything happening to him made Lambert want to pick him up and shelter him under his jacket like he had when they were still small enough to be held in one hand. The dog in question gave a sudden bark.

"Aaaaw, were we ignoring you, gorgeous boy?" Aiden clucked as he leaned down slightly to rub Morhen's head.

"I should get him back home before the entire harness decides to fall apart." Lambert said, hastily passing the leash through the harness loop and tying it in a knot, giving a couple of tugs to check it would hold, "Hopefully you won't experience any more crazy, runaway dogs."

"I don't know. I think I like how the last one turned out." Aiden replied with a smile, "Would it be ok if I call or text you sometime?"

Lambert blinked. He wasn't inexperienced by any means but usually he was the one asking cute guys for their number, not the other way around.

"Uh, sure. Let me just-"

"I already memorised your number off Morhen's tag earlier." Aiden admitted, "Nothing creepy, just incase I ended up having to call whoever to come get their dog."

"Text me and I'll save yours."

"Will do." Aiden gave a wave as Morhen used Lambert's distraction to start pulling him down the path, eager to get moving again, "See you around, Lambert."

When Lambert's phone alerted him later that evening, he was greeted by an unknown number sending him a pic of a tabby dozing in the shade of a tree and a link to a reputable website selling various pet harnesses.

[lookingformoondrop]

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO WRITES FOR THE COFFIN OF ANDY AND LEYLEY!!!!! THANK YOU <33333

Gonna ask some relationship hc w leyley!! It could be yandere if you like (I mean she is one already but-yk)

Ashley Graves X gn!reader - Relationship Headcannons

TW: Ashley is manipulative, she's a red flag but I'm colorblind, everyone has a foul mouth, mentions of cheating and kissing, Ashley is very emotionally dependent.

♥︎ Notes: I thought about making Ashley a yandere, but then I reflected on what Anon said and thought... they're right, LOL. I'm always happy to supply content for TCOAAL, and I really appreciate everyone who takes the time to request! I hope these meet your expectations. <3♥︎

Ashley Graves is impulsive, stubborn, cleverly stupid, and a pain in the ass.

If I had to describe dating Ashley I'd say it's like riding a roller coaster but never knowing when it'll drop.

When you first met her, you were blinded by her beauty (her tits) and decided to walk up to her for a number.

She was flustered that someone was interested in her, sure she's had people walk up to her before, but it was because they were always more interested in her brother than her.

But once she realized you were in it for her, she never let you go again.

It started with frequent house visits. She'd sleep over without asking, and just like a stray-cat that cuddles up to you, you couldn't say no.

She'd try to cook you for you! Every morning where she aserted herself into your day, you'd wake up to the wonderful smell of burning shit. When you went to your kitchen with a loving fire extinguisher in your hands, you'd see she was cooking eggs and some unidentified meat.

You'd walk up behind her and kiss the nape of her neck, never telling her you're only doing this because her hair smells like cherries and if you don't you're pretty sure you'll pass out from the smoke.

"Y/N, why is there a fire extinguisher in your hands?"

"Early Christmas."

"Liar."

Dates were fun, too! Even though you'd organize the actual dates like eating out, going to amusement parsl, carnivals, and the like, her dates would be along the lines of staying at home and cuddling. You might call it boring, but to Ashley, a perfect date would be where you're both left alone with only eachother to give company.

No one, and I mean NO ONE, would be able to see her precious Y/N except her.

And not that you minded anyways, you enjoyed spending time with Ashley, even if half that time was her being exhausting.

Speaking of which, exhausting, you ask? How is little ol' Ashley exhausting?

Be it a nice co-worker, a pleasant stranger, a funny waiter, or even that woman who works at the deli that gives you that cheap vegan processed ham with bacon bits, Ashley hated the fact you even acknowledged them.

It often became her favorite topic to annoy you with.

While cuddling on the couch (iykyk), Ashley began to look at you with intense eyes. You knew what these eyes meant. It was a warning sign that she was about to ask you something that could potentially piss you off. Of course, she didn't care about that part, all you needed to know was she was going to ask and you'd better be honest.

"N/M, do you love me?"

"Sure I do, you're my girlfriend after all."

Ashley wrapped her arms around your neck a little tighter, "So then," her face darkened, "would you ever cheat on me?"

You sighed, this line of questioning was becoming less and less of the 'would you love me if I was a worm' deal and more of the 'whose that bitch you were talking to' deal.

"No, Ashley, I wouldn't. Why would you feel the need to ask me that?"

Ashley raised her head from your chest and opened her mouth, her final statement ready to fire,

"So then why do you still look at other people if you would never cheat?" Her eyes narrowed on you.

You groaned and rubbed your temples, "Jesus Ashley, now I can't even have simple eye contact with people?"

She blew a breath of annoyance, "why would you even make eye contact?! I'm the only one you should be looking at, N/M!"

You went to push Ashley off of you, already sick of her shit.

"No! Do you even still love me?! All you do is go to work, go to school, hang out with your stupid friends, and ignore me!"

"I'm not doing this with you AGAIN, Ashley! Just because I know or talk to other people does not mean I'm screwing them! Jesus Ashley, you would think we'd be over this by now..."

Ashley pouted and blinked the tears in her eyes away, "...fine. leave me then, see if I care."

She sits up and goes to the opposite end of the couch.

"You're sitting on my feet, Ashley."

Ashley turned her head away and ignored you.

You hated it when she got her way, but you also couldn't stand to see her so upset. After all, she was only upset because she missed you.

Sighing with defeat you said softly, "I'm sorry I don't pay enough attention to you, Leyley. Life distracts me sometimes, but that doesn't mean I don't still love you. This weekend I'll cancel with my friends and we can go on a date. "

She hummed, "id rather we stay in and watch a movie."

"Which movie?" You coax your girlfriend for a smile,

"...Hypergore Splatterbrains 4," She looked at you and grinned.

"There's my pretty girl," you wrapped an arm around her waist, "alright, you happy now? Will you stop bitching about people in my life who I will NEVER cheat on you with?"

She brought a finger to her bottom lip, "Nah, maybe a kiss will convince me?"

She looked at you with a devious smirk, you sighed. "Cmere you," Ashley giggled and jumped on top of you, sharing a loving kiss.

Yeah, Ashley is exhausting.

But in a way, you're happy she's yours. You couldn't be happier, even if her cooking skills are shit, she's a tad bit possessive, and she leaves passive aggressive notes in your lunchbox when you go to work.

You love her either way.

"Hey N/M?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

You sighed with content and wrapped your arms around her waist, "Yes Leyley, I love you. Do you love me?"

Ashley laid her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat,

"I love you, N/M~"

Thank you for the ask!<3

[trash-and-trash-accessories]

Hi everyone! Triggering topic but Pride Month is coming soon amid increasingly violent rhetoric around our community.

If you plan on going to any Pride events next month NOW is the time to order/buy supplies and put together an IFAK (Individual First Aid Kit).

You'll want a CAT tourniquet or two, clotting factor impregnated gauze (NOT clotting powder!), z folded gauze, and a couple vented chest seals. Maybe a pair of nurse's shears too, they're very cheap.

You want to purchase these things from North American Rescue. At least the tourniquets. Cheap alternative tourniquets have a high failure rate. Improvised tourniquets almost always fail. You want a CAT from North American Rescue so when it happens, where it happens, you have the best possible chance of your friend not bleeding out in your arms.

You'll want to take a Stop The Bleed class. You can do this online if none are available in person.

I'm a certified EMT and Stop The Bleed instructor. People do not survive hemorrhages long enough for people like me to get on scene, and police often prevent first responders from entering scenes. You are the only one coming to save your friends. You need to be ready to do that. Once the attacker is down - and it won't be the police who stop him - you need to act or if you can't you need to yell "I have an IFAK in my bag" so someone else can.

Another attack will come. It's only a matter of where and when. Buy the things, put them in a little pouch, and keep them with you at these events.

I don't care if you call me a hysterical doomer. Just get an IFAK and please bring it with you to Pride. Take a Stop The Bleed class. Please.