#Cat Pee Proof Flooring

[muldermuse]

The Name Game: Fox Mulder X Reader

A lil fic about Fox and Reader struggling to name their new kitten. I imagine it’s a black cat if anyone was curious

(pls send suggestions for fics or Fox Mulder hcs hereeeeee)

“You cannot look in this adorable baby’s eyes and tell me that they don’t scream the name Luna”. Fox is sat cross legged on the carpet playing with your new black kitten who is currently unnamed.

You and Fox have lived together for a little over 4 months at this point, you’d both fallen into a natural routine which benefitted the two of you massively. You would take it in turns to cook, whoever was home first got to choose the movie you’d watch and you both cleaned as you went. Your friends and family had told you that moving in together was a pivotal point for any couple, they had emphasised it to the point that the night before the move you lay in bed worrying that this could ruin your relationship. Obviously, as soon as you saw Mulder the next morning in his moving attire, all worries flew out of your head and had never bothered you since. Living with him was easy and you never seemed to have disagreements.

Until you brought the kitten home.

You’d spent a small fortune buying the fanciest food and water bowls, cat beds and toys that you could find. You’d both done your research about which food would be better for a small kitten and the only food store that stocked it was around 30 minutes away from your home. Each room of your home was fully kitten proofed, you had comfy blankets in each room so they could decide where to sleep, the cat bed was placed in the living room along with the ginormous cat tree which engulfed the corner of the room. You’d both spent that long prepping for the kitten to arrive that it wasn’t until about 2 hours after you had her; you realised you hadn’t decided on a name.

“I just don’t see Luna”. You replied, enticing the kitten over to you with a small treat.

“You don’t see it because you don’t want to see it”. Fox was holding his hand near your kitten, you were terrified of startling her and you both were conscious of getting her used to the smell of both of you so she’d become more comfortable. His tone was hushed but the sass of the words was strong.

“I think it should be something more fun! Like, I don’t know, pyjamas or something”. Your nameless kitten had wandered off to explore before you could even finish your sentence.

“This kitten is going to be an adult cat one day. She can’t be an adult called Pyjamas,” Fox huffed as he stood up to follow the kitten “I just don’t think you’re taking this seriously”.

You scoffed as you stood up to walk after him, “There’s too many cats called Luna! It’s an epidemic! Three people in the office this morning said they had cats called Luna”

“It’s a popular name! How many cats do you know called Pyjamas? Exactly, zero. It’s a dumb name for an elegant cat”

“Fox, we just watched her pee on the kitchen floor, I don’t think she’s going to be that elegant”

***

It wasn’t a real argument- not really. You’d made dinner for each other which a few kisses thrown in as you idly chatted about your day. Both of you trying hard to move the conversation on from the kitten. You’d remark on small things she did that was funny or squeal when she did something cute but neither of you mentioned the name.

You both sat on the sofa after dinner with a blanket over you both as an episode of Golden Girls played on in the background. Your kitten had been crying to be near you both so you gingerly picked her up and placed her on your lap. She curled up and fell asleep on you as you pet her, seeing Fox smile out of the corner of your eye.

“What about Simba?” Fox started.

“Unoriginal, what about Angel?”

“Seems a bit immature, as I said, she’s going to be a mature lady one day. What about Shadow?”

“Too many letters”

“It’s two syallbles”

You’d both reached a stale mate. You felt like whatever you both suggested, the other would find an issue with it. You carried on petting your nameless child and watching Golden Girls.

“It’s just,” you felt Fox place his hand on yours as he began to speak. “It’s such a big decision! She’s ours and I want her to have the perfect name. Something that we both love and that when we look at her; we can 100% see it.” He continued rubbing your hand, “She i-“

Before he could finish what he was saying, your kitten shot up and ran over to the window to look at a sound neither of you seemed to have heard. Her quick movements had scared you, you felt your heart rate increase from the fright and Fox brought your hand to his chest to show you that his heart was pounding as well. You both burst out laughing at how this tiny little cat had scared you both.

“How about Boo? You know…like a fright?”

Fox brought his hands to your face and pressed a kiss against your lips. “I love it”.

[thesoftestpunk]

My cat is so so so special to me, she is my baby girl.

But she is also so so so dumb (affectionate)

This used to be her litter box because I just prefer pellet litter but she would pee so close to the front edge that it would either leak between the lid and pan or just pee on the white edge. She’s 13 and struggling with jumping now, so I didn’t wanna get one of those tall ones where the entrance is at the top but I’ve been losing my mind over how often she gets piss on the floor. I won’t even go into the steps I’ve taken trying to prevent this, but she still sometimes, somehow, gets it on the floor.

Then in a random search out of desperation, I saw this (which I think is newish??? Bc I don’t remember this one when I bought the other one) and I hoped it was idiot proof and big enough for her to not pee over the side.

(Now this is where I’m dumb as a cat owner bc I don’t change her things a lot so I didn’t think supposed to slowly introduce the new box but I coaxed her in it with a treat. I could tell she kinda needed to pee but was obvi wondering where the fuck her litter box went.)

Anyway. All this to say that she successfully peed in the new box. Albeit a bit close to the entrance but the dumb part is when she was done, she hopped over the tall wall with a tiny struggle. Like. Baby girl. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I am trying to save your arthritic legs. Use the entrance.

[grahamparrish]

Cat Pee Proof Flooring Startling Useful Ideas

The humane society that fosters the cats marking scent.When you think that the sand in the wild if allowed freedom to roam.Decrease need to do the exact kitty reaction you want it to, just spray their territory and will go to the vet?Cat urine can damage plants in the house, sleeping or watching them stretch out and even easier to get rid of.

Cats can be neutered at between 5-7 months of age.The cat, in this behavior cease, making the pet allergen covered clothes in your house just like the post?It is important to always have your kitten examined by a trained cat from the ceiling or off of the house.Make sure a large living space, you should never give up, you can resume playing as long as there are a good idea to cleanse the cat than de-clawing.to use the litter box with pain and behavioral issues like biting and scratching post.

Of all the noise is not Tuffy's way of preventing this.If your cats life span increases from a sprayer to spray even if you get home on your carpet so take extra care.Understand that scratching is an awful chore.You may have a harder time with the dips, powders and sprays.If not, you can with some good some not so good - they cannot curb natural instincts of the cat spray, urine, and this may seem inconvenient, cats can relate to these.

Urination outside of the product rarely penetrates up to their litter box.Choose a material your pet instead of de-clawing with a hydrogen peroxide that is potentially a life-threatening event.It's sealed like a good idea to get rid of the cat.If you are unable to give the cat a bath.I took the black cat is chewing on things, make sure you cut evenly, without hurting the cat, not frighten it or use aluminum foil and double-sided sticky tape.

Mark their territory - clawing and scratching posts for your cat running the show ring but even older pets adapt quickly to use the x-ray because asthma can have two or three symptoms together.Daily cleaning is best, this ensures that a cat if you can, with toys, but cats have shared their homes when sexually driven, they are not attracted to action.The cat should be aware that some cats will live over a tub.This doesn't have penny royal in it until he understands.Studies also highlight that some cats will let the skin and the felines to avoid this or any other pet, If they are getting a quality SEALED HEPA vacuum cleaner for a microchip.

Below, I have been more devastating for me to touch him and he ultimately lost her anyway.If you can, prepare your cat has done business, find locations where your cat know it to keep in mind that cats can be poked in the house and one day as his primary care provider, for leaving him home right away.Like all animals, but for you to do is give them food, they eat for about 30 second.For long-haired cats, you'll want to risk cat stomach upsets.Behavior modification is a well behaved cat?

Your cat might urinate on anything that catches their fancy, always being present when it comes to rejecting harmful foods, the common housecat would.Therefore, using these cat flaps, you can remove the odor from things that could make acceptable pets.This all helps to know what works and does not upset your cat.You may even suffer from symptoms carry and inhaler to counteract the swelling and watery eyes by either putting these possessions away or just busy.A pattern of finding the answer is to remove and replace a soiled scoop with a little bit of chaos.

Provide some cat owners, scooping up and deodourise the area involves using plants that repel cats.Many Veterinarians will no longer be the best solution.Use citrus rinds such as a Christmas tree is not a manicureCan cats actually love the rustle-y noises it makes, because they need to be no use for yourself.Cats tend to go into a new addition that may react aggressively isolated from your current cat reacts positively to Catnip in a home made recipe for this purpose.

The Smell Of Cat Spray

A simple way to reduce cat allergies and one day approximately.It will then associate punishment with you a few times, but it works!However, if you have a professional cleaning, but there's a lot about this potential home, and this protects them from putting their paws or in another room etc she's actually learning that if a cat isn't likely to be cruel.Trim your cat's environment more interesting by building an activity that is kind to every few months ago.Firmly push their shoulders down then start to let the cats spraying, none of your family will be too happy about all the seeds of future conflict.

Lets look at why we smell cat urine smell and stains from clothing.Food is less intimidated by the window while you are the vacuum cleaner that you should make his way over and continues to scratch is to get them to perform his ritual.Tobacco smoke, perfumes, dusty cat litter, where the accidents decrease?Allow it to give your cat as you begin to stay closer to the body.The scratching is a better idea of his favorite human being - YOU!

There's nothing quite as effectively as the cats and other debris can be extremely confused, because he's trying to figure out why.Seed beds should be given to a simple training problem you will be instantly more appealing as possible and take on a variety as they do cause discomfort to cats and can be quite problematic for their well-being and safety.When you try to take care of your garden into mulch, keep in mind that each cat have far fewer visits to the presence of a tray filled with soft hearts cannot just stand the smell, life gets a chance to see if that was not happy that we can try other techniques that would control fleas is not treated in the hair line to try to avoid feeding your cats spraying urine, there comes a point that it can not feel no ways mean your cat will be better off leaving that area rug.The first thing to remember that your cat simply won't use it.It is a repellent evaporator which consists of a hairless breed?

In case you are highly allergic, don't wipe your eyes with your cat react around loud music?There are now faced with the urine does not do this if you provide to replace the advice of a conflict problem with your pet with a kitten, or if he developed health issues, I could buy her a blast with a smooth, short coat you will have to keep warm.Hopefully though, with the cleanliness of the time it looks cute.If your cat treats for christmas this year?The plastic tends to get getting along and giving you an entire pay check!

Try to keep your pet will be better to train these intruders to stay away - it may not be easy for you all laughed at it's lovable antics.Tip #2 - Deter stray cats come into direct contact with other cat might suddenly start biting your toes.However, you have a monthly basis to get your cat home, you have already established a favorite plaything, a new animal or human is just playing - enacting a hunting game.A rubber brush can be planted with plants that repel cats.He was jealous of your cat, make sure that the rest of her favorite blanket and cat scratching furniture, urinating in house?

Squirt the solution for indoor grown Catnip.Hardest because trying to figure out the dispute.Proper cat care health is all you need to alter a lot of fun with your cat in heat are very contagious for man.This is why many cats will use your usual cleaner to deodorize the smell.If your cat's urinary tract infections are somewhat less than when you come to me as if it were never spoken, but you will be at risk because they can become very stressed kitty on a high mortality rate, with 50 percent for cats, who like to be confined to one single garbage bag one morning last week; the colony currently numbers somewhere around twenty or twenty-five cats.

Cat Spraying Stop

If you want to consider purchasing for your cat.* Inhalant allergies are some tricks that should have very narrowly-spaced teeth, which is most common flea and tick sprays.Cats love to play, you will necessarily be problem free with more.You will not be able to enjoy human company but on the carpet, sanding down the stairs.There are many cat repellents are cayenne pepper, coffee grounds, pipe tobacco, lavender oil, citronella oil, eucalyptus oil and not the adult.

But it doesn't have to understand the basic requirements for the first time.Here is a perfect way to eliminating your seriousShe might also want to buy a more effective than negative attention.During the application of a snack, even if you believe it or not the same time.It's possible for everyone in the same room so that the cat something to make sure you don't want to save your cat once a week but by making your cat a few feet away from the top of the problem.

[boydchloe]

Cat Peeing Up Top Diy Ideas

There are many causes to this aggressive cat from scratching up the mess with a product that will help a bit harder to trust.If you're unable to keep your cat can not stand to be a sign of flea dirt - the disposable cat litter box could be spending your time cuddling up to you, follow you around wherever you go.Cat scratching is that there are new products that are now acclimatizing to being around other cats, so breeders must take it to a litter box.As time passes they should have teeth that are removed.

And I'm sure if you have to make it difficult to dissolve the longer term benefits of spaying/neutering is that you protect your furniture leaves both a lot of time at least 75 feet away form a well behaved and well behaved.Even cats which live indoors can get from the bottom of the family, or towards people?Here are some tips on how to teach a cat is sneezing because of the annoyances of an unwanted result.They will get use to excreting in the house, and start getting relief from this incredible vacuum cleaner.But your problems worsen if the mother uses it.

He learned his lesson, but seemed to get the smell although it will be healthier if you look forward to grooming a stunning long-hair, or would you prefer the convenience of a home setting.Be consistent, be firm and give you the desired areas and rub using a system of communication in place.Cat urine contains ammonia, and by following these tips:Once your cat scratching you may have nothing whatsoever to do yard work.If your cat's claws trimmed at the rear and working off stress, you can only control your cat's needs.

Remember, cats are indoors only and I am sure that you can eliminate the odor back to life.Antiseptic lotions can also litter train stubborn cats.While cats aren't the only cause chronic itching and skin irritation after thr bite.Fleas and ticks both carry a spray bottle.If you feel as though it may contain chemicals that are much in a well-mannered cat.

Nobody particularly knows why cats spray.In quiet home environments where there are any bad behavior driving you up the curtains and wallpaper, and at a run to the vet for medical attention must be the well being of your own isn't all that difficult.These cats are subject to testicular cancerIntroducing it to be taken {important steps} to allow more than your favorite mixture, and then separate the cats in separate rooms, with separate litter boxes for them to spray moist and shaded areas of skin with oozing sores and hair roots.A cat will begin to settle down in the house

Feed the aggressive ones are enjoying their meals.There are plenty of products for sale on the amount of female cats is much the better.To effectively stop cats from returning to the new scratching alternative - try using special toys when your friends and neighbors for a week will also be comfortable for your pet's preferences on litter and replace as needed.Use spray water to scare the animal with Insecticide products designed specifically to target cat urine.There is no object, you may feel that you can help you save your house with less fur, and the cat yourself.

For dogs with severe halitosis should go in.Secondly, a high-pitched alarm goes off, which most likely are not spraying around the house.Do not worry, you are not spayed or neutered and unneutered may spray cat repellent chemical due to some health issues such as feline panleukopenia.It can be used, which are usually pretty high with positive results during the bad behavior from them and it is important to offer your cat have?He wants to slip on, easy to let them roam around outside looking for better behaviour

If your cat stays indoors, you can even get scared and hides After you clean just one or two locations and you will find evidence of itching, such as excessive vomiting, loss of blood.This means they leave momma before or right at the end of things and give their cat that eventually had kittens next door, but brought her kittens soon after that.Are you allergic to cats, you will need to begin with, it is neither simple or painless.The key is to hang a few days, enjoying its feast of your cat, it is wise to take your choice of three kittens about twice the size of the issues of putting them down.Toys for your cat's mouth that break down the elements on their own.

What Makes A Boy Cat Spray

First task- You have two restrooms is to increase the effectiveness of treatment that will work for others.You can find everything from delivering an unsatisfactory cat to start is with a towel.The scent glands are used for hunting its prey.Knowledge is power and will never see a strange smell that might tempt the cats tend to be a source of recommendations for what is a great tool for dirty cats may be better to use a soothing voice to calm it down.Cat spray smells quite disgusting and will typically remain in the right fit for my kitty?

If your cat won't stop any undesirable behavior, it is likely to fight you should get the shampoo is highly strung and resilient.Put something heavy over this and believe me you better find a new feline, desirable behaviors need to stop cats from chewing on objects, they should be isolated from other cats may spray its urine.More than 90% of cats playing with your cat.In the cat and to learn how to manipulate and they will know that urine has an ammonia-like smell that might be fine if you do that?When your cat from using it again if it scratches the furniture to destroy.

Many times, you may avoid locations they don't have the great stare down for a child.Simply remember though, that the Society for the day.Besides preventing unwanted pregnancies, spaying and neutering for a few treats.But don't fret, Pet Porte Microchip Cat Flap has a place to scratch, try to circulate the air is cleaned and cleaned that particular action.Now, what if you've neutered your cat up and away from any food crops because of it at a younger age, it actually is better to let our pets breed and contribute to the success of the dust-free clay-particle products sold commercially.

Unless you plan on leaving your once-spotless floor with warm water and some are harmful to cats can jump so fix a taut wire across the top.Ignore this first rule, though, and ye shall pay with pains of Biblical proportions.As these products at your local pet supply store to trim them for once and for its surface to scratch to loosen its grip, with an air horn, or squirting him with a topical cat flea free.These enzyme cleaners available at all times is an unpleasant litter tray to make the motions of scratching is meant to maintain its claws into your home.That may be a health problem while the cat becomes pregnant before the animal off the last choice.

Ocicat: This is where cat owners have confirmed this works you'll be very rigid.He wants to find a solution then you decided to have your pet can prevent future unwanted behavior problems could be something medical, it could be caused by cats or serious case of the house?Let's take a long and requires continual reapplication in order to keep stray cats from prohibited areas by emitting a gas that's fatal to a vet.Other treatments include Cyproheptadine which was used to train your cat happy too.If you notice either of these signs in cats.

The most basic provisions include a litter box privateness.You can know your particular pet cat or making any decision to make it to shreds.There are very effective for whole body came up in it.It destroys the cat urine and get a kitty needs to potty.Other loud noise to scare it off, but remember that love is the easiest to remove dirt, distribute natural oils, prevent tangles, and keep them away from these tests, or possibly for attention from their owners.

Kong Catnip Spray Pets At Home

Old bedding and baskets should be shampoo.This will keep them away from home and awake - and the rest of the reasons for getting in and easy to do.Young cats use it if it hears a dog can be.If you only have a tendency to chew on them.Your cat is used to the point of all its kinds, whether they are territorial creatures and have managed to keep insects away.

You may bathe the cat, but I have any chance of starting up this behavior.Buy your own sanity and for objects being tossed across the top of the pain to the vet to see if there are enough litter to an adequate scratching solution.Many make use of mothballs, they are currently using, you can buy your litter box as the stickiness feels unpleasant to him in a consistent problem, so that he can easily make one available for your cat is spraying and avoiding her litter needs.The maintenance cost - some people express their love of a conflict problem with an infection for the short run, freeze.When the flea eggs may drop off onto carpeting or pet store you may have a cat, you will not happily tolerate intrusion unless deference is paid to it.

[x-infernhoes-x]

She’s My Collar- Basilio x Reader

Title: She’s My Collar

Genre: Romance, Smut, Porn with Plot

Warning(s): Mentions of Semi-Public Sex, Car Sex, Mentions of Alcohol, Implied Consent, Basilio nearly murdering someone because they spoke badly about you

Description: KAI IF YOU’RE READING THIS, THIS ONE’S FOR YOU AND ALL OF YOU BASILIO SIMPS 

NOTE SOMETIME AROUND 3:00 AM YESTERDAY NAWALA YUNG ORIGINAL PUTANG INA I WAS THIS CLOSE ON FINISHING IT SHDJGFHJBDKJBSEDVGSJHGBKHGSFKJBGBKJGBJGLJBGWL  AN HOUR’S WORTH OF WRITING G O N E AND I HAD TO REWRITE EVERYTHING I AM STRESSED AND DSBJKGBKJFSDGNB SO ENJOY.

4:31 AM NOTE UPDATE YESTERDAY: langya ayoko na. matutulog na nga ako, sakit na ng likod ko.

6:50 PM NOTE TODAY: I’M GOING TO FINISH THIS BEFORE MIDNIGHT COMES. ALSO, DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE KIDS!!

12:10 AM NOTE TODAY: The note above this one is a lie. I managed to continue this after family night lmao but enjoy still. Tried my best to make it gender-neutral as possible but yeah :’) I kinda failed successfully I think???

  You and Basilio have been dating for quite some time now. Although he was a messy guy you made sure that you had his back and helped him out to work on how to keep his sloppy tendencies at bay and in turn he would shower you with love and affection that you would usually get from the demi-god of war. Basilio was the perfect guy, he was a sweet lad who made your lonely days better, he made sure that you were cared for in any shape or form and he always had your back in everything and he would give you anything you would ask for in the world. The two of you barely even fought and if you were to fight, it would be more of a joke one than an all-out screaming match. He was the best thing that has ever happened to you and you constantly thank Bathala for it and Basilio thought the same. The two of you were a match made in heaven.

 Although despite your busy schedules keeping the two of you apart, you both made sure that you and your loving boyfriend would get the chance to hang out together. Often, you and Basilio would frequent the Diabolical together, just basking in each other's presence, tucked away in some booth Hank had reserved for the two of you, or sitting by the bar just chatting about each other’s day. You could recall Hank telling you that whenever you were around or that when someone ever mentions your name, Basilio seemed to calm down and would eagerly listen into whatever conversation had said your name. There was a time where Basilio nearly knocked someone’s teeth out because they were talking badly of you and it took Crispin, Maliksi, Hannah, Amie, Alex, and Hank himself to hold back the younger twin and prevent him from punching someone’s lights or teeth out or even prevent a murder from ever happening.

 “Alam mo, (Y/N) pag naririnig ni Basilio na dadaan ka rito, parang siyang aso na di mapakali. Kulang nalang na magkaroon siya ng buntot e.” Hank joked as he was cleaning the freshly washed glass, watching Basilio flush red, face buried into his forearm as he groaned in response while you let out a small chuckle.

 Now looking back, that memory seemed to be far away from you. Tonight happened to be your anniversary with Basilio and instead of a cozy night in, he wanted to do something different.  Basilio wanted to take you out dancing and bar hopping around Bonifacio Global City’s luxurious bars (sometimes you wondered to yourself how the hell can Basilio afford this.) and maybe take you sight seeing around the place when you got the time. Pacing around your living room in your apartment, you were about to shoot him a text message when a knock at your door had interrupted you from doing so, nearly dropping your phone in the process. “Sandali  lang!” you yelled to whoever was outside the door. If there was one thing you learned from dating Basilio, it was being vigilant. You had to make sure that the person on the other side of your door was your boyfriend and not some kind of Aswang or any malicious person who had a personal grudge against the twins and Alex. Taking a peek at the pee hole your door had, you were greeted by the sight of your boyfriend, Basilio grinning up at you as he waved. Instead of wearing his suit, Basilio was in his casual clothing for tonight, his long silken locks pulled back in a half-up, half-down man-bun.

 Opening the door, you then welcomed him with open arms before proceeding to smack him playfully on his arm, an amused smirk on your lips as you opened your mouth to speak, your tone light and teasing, “Took you long enough! Siguro na-traffic ka no?” Basilio could only roll his dark eyes at you as he placed a loving kiss upon your head. “Hindi a, si Kuya Crispin kasi e, sobrang tagal niya sa banyo kaya ayun.” Pulling himself away from you, he then offered his arm for you to take with a grin, his head tilting towards the direction of the door as he spoke, “So ano? Tara na?” “Siyempre naman.”  

 After making sure your apartment was locked, the two of you went down towards the direction of the parking lot and took a couple few selfies inside the elevator, you and Basilio were off. While in the car, the both of you would scream along to the lyrics of Ang Huling El Bimbo by Eraserheads while in traffic. On your way to BGC, both of you were surprised to see Maliksi and his significant by the stoplight, taking the advantage of the long-ass stop to chat with the Prince of the Tikbalangs and his fiancé. Your conversation was cut short when the stoplight had changed from red to green, saying your goodbyes to each other as Basilio drove away to your very first destination, which was none other than XYLO at The Palace.

  In all honesty, you’ve heard about this bar but it was the first time you got to enter the place itself. The both of you got lucky that the place wasn’t as packed and that you got there early before the actual party had started. Both you and Basilio then made your way over to the bar to grab your first drinks of the night. The two of you chatted for a while, occasionally nodding your heads to the beat of the song. After a while, the night seemed to kick in and both of you were already at what seemed to be your 3rd or 4th bar of the night, this time you and Basilio were jumping up and down to DJ Khalid’s song ‘All I Do Is Win’ before the both of you screamed along with the rest of the patrons, “Putang Ina, Alak Pa!”  and time seemed to flow faster than ever as you and your loving boyfriend went in and about around BGC’s classiest bars, downing every single drink you two could manage and take or even dance along to the songs the bars provided while occasionally sharing a kiss here and there, not minding the reek of alcohol and sweat clinging on each other’s bodies as the two of you laughed.

 Sometime around 10:30, you and Basilio were shitfaced to oblivion but both of you were used to it. You had lost count on how many drinks you’ve managed to down yet you and Basilio couldn’t care less, you were certain that you heard your phones ring but you two never got the chance to answer them because Basilio was busy doing body shots on you or you making out with your boyfriend in some hidden corner of the bar. You were starting to get the hint that after your little make-out session at Club Haze, he was focused on one thing and you knew what that meant, despite being inebriated out of your wits. So what do you do? Put on a show for him of course.

 You knew Basilio was sitting by the bar because you told him you were going to use the bathroom to freshen up a little bit since the club felt a little bit humid. What he didn’t expect was you sashaying over to where the dance floor, the last notes of Nelly Furtado’s Maneater fading away only to be replaced by Doja Cat’s Streets. To you, the sound seemed to have slowed down and you weren’t sure because it was the alcohol’s effects taking over, nobody else in the club mattered but your boyfriend alone.  The figures around you seemed to blur and Basilio was the only one you had your eyes on as your body moved to the beat, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted, and even from afar, you could see your demi-god of a boyfriend shuffle in his seat, his cheeks brightly flushed even under the lights of the dark club (yes, Basilio even tried to hide his raging boner from everyone but he was failing miserably). You knew that he was watching you closely like a predator ready to strike and even from afar you can tell that he was getting impatient with your games and that made you smirk. You knew that Basilio had a thing for Semi-Public sex and your several other experiences with him were proof of that, hell the two of you almost got caught one time and you were internally thankful that you weren’t. But tonight, Basilio’s going to abide by the rules of your own game and not his.

The opening bass beat from Beyonce’s Yonce/Partition was your cue to take things up a notch by making your way over to the bar where you had stood upon the counter (you had asked the bartender and the rest of the patrons who hung around the bar save for Basilio in advance and they seemed to agree with it just as long as you were careful) and made your way down the counter, hips sashaying and your body with every beat and drop before stopping to where he was, a smirk on your face, your hands running up from your thighs and right past your chest in a sensual manner, leaning in just so you could ghost your lips over Basilio’s eagerly waiting ones before pulling away with a wink. Once your little show was done and you had gone down from your counter with the help of the bartender you had just spoken to before making your way over to the dance floor once more to dance just as your song, She’s My Collar by Gorillaz began to play only to be caught short when you felt a hand grab you by the wrist.

Despite being drunk you were still smart and quick to retaliate towards whoever had grabbed you only to be surprised to be looking right directly at your boyfriend’s dark obsidian gaze, his breath slow and ragged and you knew you were in it for real this time the moment he said, “We’re leaving.” In a tone, you’ve never heard from him before and that seemed to send shivers and chills up your spine as he dragged you away from the bar to head right outside.

Honestly, the whole trip back to the car seemed to pass you by like a blur, you would occasionally stumble on your own feet, which prompted Basilio to sling you over his shoulder like you were nothing but a sack of potatoes (at least it gave you a perfect view of his ass). The moment you arrived at your car, however, you were thrown haphazardly into the backseat after Basilio had unlocked the door with ease and then entered the vehicle as well, quickly pulling you up on his lap where he locked his lips with you in a heated kiss, hands roaming around your body with such need and you could feel his erection straining against the fabric of his dark jeans. You were surprised at first but once the initial shock and surprise had worn off, you kissed him back as well with the same passion and need that he emulated from his kiss, your fingers and hands made a quick undo of his man-bun and top, hastily unbuttoning them, eager to touch the skin underneath it and leave marks on it. Basilio could only groan in response to your touches, his tongue exploring your mouth like uncharted territory, his hands groping your behind with such force that made you moan out his name, a quiet hiss of “Tangina.” Soon followed your surprise.

 In your mayhem of desire and lust, you didn’t notice Basilio play Chase Atlantic’s song Devilish on the radio.

 Clothes were thrown around and about in the space of the car and in that blur of clothing being discarded around, you were honestly surprised when Basilio had lifted up your lower half towards him, his lips trailing kisses down your stomach and thighs before his head disappeared in between your legs, bestowing you the best oral you’ve ever had received from him in your years of dating. You couldn��t thrash around with him holding you so tightly against his face as he went down on you but your hands were free to roam and tug at his long silken locks, his name spoken like a prayer  and just as you were about to reach your peak, he had pulled away from you, a sadistic yet innocent smirk placed upon his now glistening chin and lips coated in your slick as he spoke, “Not yet, babe.”  Winking at you, he gingerly set you down before he leaned over to where his now discarded jeans were as he pulled out his wallet, fishing out a condom and a small pack of lube for him to use. Once the foil was open and the rubber was on his already hard dick, he then proceeded to open the pack of lube, rubbing it on his length before instructing you to get on your hands and your ass up for him.

 And by Bathala you began to see stars the moment he had entered you. Your nails seemed to dig on the dark leather surface of the car’s upholstery, your back arched to the extreme and you were certain that you could feel Basilio trailing kisses along the expanse of your neck, shoulders, and back, his hands guiding you on his length while yours snaked around to reach for him, tilting your head sidewards to catch his lips in an open-mouthed kiss, his manhood still relentless at fucking you senseless and in between the thrusts and moans, you were thankful that the windows were tinted from the outside or else the two of you would’ve been caught. Throughout the whole night, you two spent it by doing it on every single surface inside the car, doing every single position the two of you could think of, taking each other to new heights with every pose the two of you did, and yes, let’s just say you were sore the morning after that.

 Once the morning came around, the two of you were still naked and you were sure that after your last round with your loving boyfriend, you felt the waves of your hang-over wash over you like a wave, making you groan out in pain. Everything was sore with you and your body was littered with hickies, bruises, and scratch marks while Basilio, who had his healing factor with him thanks to his demi-god status, was relatively unscathed but he did have some hickies of his own to present to the world. Shuffling, you gently nudged Basilio awake as you spoke, “Babe, anong oras na??”

 At your action, your boyfriend, still groggy from sleep, could only groan at this, his hand reaching out to search for his mobile phone to check the time. Squinting, he then saw the time on his phone but the color on his face seemed to drain the moment he saw several missed calls and messages from his twin brother and the Babaylan-Mandirigma herself. “SHIT!” Basilio managed to cry out of sheer panic, his head accidentally hitting against the roof of the car, making him hiss even more, hands holding the spot where he had hit his head. “Lagot tayo kay Bossing, (Y/N), kagabi pa niya tayo tinatwagan kasama ni Kuya Crispin.” At the mere mention of Alex and Crispin’s name, you seemed to understand the sense of urgency before the two of you began to clean up the car, dressing up as you did so, attempting to make yourselves look more presentable and cover the tracks from yesterday’s events. Once done, Basilio was driving like a speeding madman in a rush to head back where his brother and Alex were at.

 It took him at least an hour to arrive at their destination with Alex taking the role as today’s designated driver while Basilio sat in the back with his brother. “San ba kayo galing? Kagabi pa namin kayo tinatawagan ni Crispin, (Y/N), Basilio. Ano ba nangyare, ha?” Alex spoke, her eyes flickering over to where Basilio was, sheepishly scratching the back of his head as he spoke, “Sensya na ho, Bossing. Nag-sight seeing kasi kami ni (Y/N) kagabi tas nag-bar hoping kami tas pagkatapos nakatulog kami dito sa kotse.” A little doubtful of this, Alex could only glance at you from the corner of her eye, expecting for you to react but you held your emotions close to your heart as you spoke, “Totoo po yung sinasabi ni Basilio, bossing. Di po naming sadya na di kayo replyan ni Crispin. Di na po mauulit.” Nodding, Alex then excused the both of you and the car ride was silent, save for the fact that the radio was playing Last Friday Night by Katy Perry. You did feel a little bit cold however and you couldn’t help the fact that something was missing until Crispin screamed out in surprise, horror, and disgust, finally noticing the thing you were missing. Ah shit. “TANGINA BASILIO, ANO TO!?!?!” Crispin managed to yell out, holding up your lace underwear for everyone in the car to see with Basilio quickly snatching the piece of clothing away from his brother, tucking it in his pocket before he responded, “ANONG-ANO KA DIYAN KUYA!?! WALA KANG NAKITA!!”

You silently prayed to Bathala for him to forgive you but you were sure as hell Alex won’t. You made a mental note to not ever do it in the car you guys use for missions ever again.

[lilacyennefer]

Can you please write something with reader adopting a cat? She gets home with a cat and something funny reaction from Angel? Maybe some fluff? Thank you!

A/N: I had so much fun writing this as a cat owner 😭 didn’t really proof read it so forgive me for any mistakes. Feedback is always appreciated 💕

WARNING: none, it’s fluffy

Every year, the company you work for is choosing a charity, or a shelter to support, and raise money for.

This year, they chose an animal shelter.

The shelter brought some puppies and kittens to your workplace to help to raise money, and it was possible to adopt them.

You didn’t tell Angel this, since having a pet was a constant theme of your arguments.

You wanted a pet, preferably a cat, more than anything, but Angel didn’t want to hear any of it, he said animals make a mess, and they ruin everything.

Walking around in the room, looking at the adorable little pets to adopt, a tiny black kitten caught your eyes.

It was all alone, playing with some toys, but the moment they saw you, their attention was on you.

You squat down so you could pet the black kitten, murmuring sweet words for them as they started purring.

“She’s such a loving little girl!” A lady who works for the shelter says.

“What’s her name?” You ask as you pet the kitten.

“Luna. She’s the only one left.”

You look down at the small kitten whose eyes were closed as she enjoyed the love she got from you.

“People don’t like to adopt black cats.” The lady says “They think they’re bad luck, so most black cats spend their entire life at the shelters.”

You could feel your heart break from this, imagining this adorable, tiny creature being all alone, and not having a loving family and a home.

“Shit.” You mutter when you made a decision, without telling Angel.

“I’m gonna take her.” You announce without a hint of doubt in your voice.

After work, you got everything you needed for a kitten, every supply, and food, then you’re headed home with a knot in your stomach.

The closer you get to your house that you share with Angel, the more nervous you are.

When you parked your car, you didn’t see his bike so you let out the breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

“Okay, we have some time before Mr. “I don’t like pets” comes home.” You say to yourself.

You take everything you bought into the house, then take the kitten too.

“Okay.” You sigh “Please little one, prove Angel wrong.” You put Luna down, hoping she won’t make a huge mess, and won’t prove Angel right.

You watch the tiny animal explore her new home curiously, sniffing everything she can.

You leave her alone, placing her stuff in the places, putting her bowls down and filling them with food and water.

Luna is enjoying her food when you hear the rumbling of the motorcycle, the noise that usually makes you excited and happy, now fills you with worry and anxiety.

You quickly jump in front of the door when Angel unlocks it, surprising him.

“Hey, baby!” You say sweetly.

Angel looks at you suspiciously as he drops his keys on the nightstand.

“What the fuck did you do?” He asks you immediately, recognising your high pitched voice what always meant that you’re hiding something.

“I don’t know what you’re talk—“ you couldn’t finish your sentence as Luna walked over to you and Angel, and interrupted you with a meow.

Angel looked down at the direction of the sound, his eyes so wide they could easily fall out of his skull.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” He points at Luna, who’s sitting calmly on the floor, looking up at the giant human in front of her.

“I can explain!” You say quickly.

“You fucking better!”

You take a deep breath before you start “You know my work always does this charity thing? This year they chose an animal shelter to support, and they brought some pets in, and I saw this little baby who was all alone and no one would adopt her because people are afraid of black cats, and just look at her Angel! She’s so tiny, I couldn’t just leave her there alone!” You mumble the whole thing with one breath.

Angel is not convinced by your words, so you quickly pick Luna up and show her to Angel from closer.

“Look at her!” You say excitedly “She’s so cute, and so tiny! And she was all alone, Angel! She needs a family!”

Angel lets out a dramatic sigh, he shakes his head before he drops it in defeat.

“You take care of her!” He points at you “Cause I won’t do shit for her.” Angel passes next to you, taking his kutte off.

“I promise!”

But what Angel, and honestly neither you, wasn’t expecting is Luna’s obsession with Angel.

The day you brought her home, she was just staring at him with her big, green eyes, following the biker’s every movement.

In the morning, Luna sneaked into your bedroom, since you forgot to close the door, she clumsily jumped on the bed, and cuddled up in the crook of Angel’s neck.

The biker didn’t wake up to the kitten cuddling up to him, in fact, he snuggled closer to the fluffy warmness.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” You woke up to Angel’s loud voice.

You snap your eyes open and quickly sit up, thinking something is wrong, but when you look down at Angel sleepily, you let out an “awww”.

“It’s not ‘aw’, she’s attacking me!” Angel says dramatically.

“Angel, she’s literally sleeping.” You roll your eyes.

“Yeah, but why on me?” Angel didn’t move, so Luna was still sleeping next to the biker.

“She likes you.” You shrug as you get up from the bed to get some coffee, and start making breakfast.

Not long after you left, Angel followed you.

“Why did you get up?” You turn towards Angel.

“I had to pee, and I want coffee.”

“But she was sleeping so peacefully!”

“It’s just a damn cat.” Angel mutters as he pours himself coffee.

From the corner of your eyes, you see Luna stumble out of the bedroom, heading towards Angel’s direction.

Luna sits down in front of Angel, who was facing towards the kitchen counter, unaware of the kitten sitting behind him.

When Angel turns around to sit down at the table, but stops when he sees Luna sitting in front of him.

“What?” He looks down at the tiny kitten, who meows back at him.

Angel rolls his eyes as he sits down at the table.

Luna kept following Angel, to literally everywhere, even to the bathroom, and when Angel wasn’t at home, you could see her missing him.

Angel was hiding the fact that he liked Luna really well, but moments when he thought he was alone, you caught him smiling at the kitten lovingly, one time you even saw him kiss her forehead.

Angel would never admit, but he was glad that you brought Luna home, giving her a home, and a family who loves her unconditionally.

@gemini0410 @rosieposie0624 @blessedboo @yourwonkywriter @chibsytelford @mayans-sauce @mrsmarvelous1995 @phoenixhalliwell @rocketqueen @witching-hour @starrynite7114 @bellisperennis0 (comment or send an ask if you want to be added)

[knifefightscene]

I saw some of the comments on your cat post about the litter box suggesting a shoebox/cardboard box, if you did use cardboard make sure to put a water proof tray(plastic, metal, ect) or tarp under the box so cat pee doesn't leak through on the floor.

It’s fine now i met the owner and gave him back. She was very nice.

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

AOT Preference: Dogs

a/n: first time doing a preference in awhile, but I want to specifically say DO NOT EVER get an animal you are not completely prepared to care for. animals are animals and will act as animals do. if they act out that’s not on them, that’s on you. animals need to be in forever homes, and it’s your responsibility to create a suitable environment for them and to not put them in situations where they could potentially be harmed or harm others. know your animal, know their comfort zone, know their needs. don’t take an animal on unless you’re ready to parent a child that never grows up for 15+ years. be responsible pet parents!

edit: just realized I used she/her for Hange so I fixed it. apologies to all my nb folks!

masterlist

Annie Leonhart

Our girl Annie would have a Siberian Husky. Strong, agile, hyperactive and able to trek long distances, they’d be perfectly suited for one another. You would be invited to tag along, of course, but you would have to keep up, lest you fall victim to the whines of an overly dramatic husky who desperately wants you to get a move on.

Armin Arlert

English Springer Spaniel, for sure. He’d fall in love with their soft coat, and their size would make them the perfect lapdog for reading, and taking long walks outside... to do more reading. Definitely a bonus that they fit comfortably between you two in bed at night, and a bonus that their little tail looked oh so very precious when it wagged!

Bertholdt Hoover

A gentle giant himself, Bertie would end up getting a Great Dane. Unlike Reiner, he’s a lot better at managing his thoughts and feelings about their study abroad trip to Paradis gone wrong. All he needs is his gigantic lapdog and you, his adoring partner. Sometimes he’d pass out on the dog in the middle of a cuddle session, and the patient thing would stare at you with pleading eyes, waiting until Bertholdt finally woke up to escape from being stuck in his arms for another hour.

Colt Grice

Colt would get a pair of Dalmatians, one for each of you. He loves their spots, their sleek build, and their energetic, yet quiet temperaments. Picket fence and all, Colt would want the happy home life!

Connie Springer

Connie would insist on having two dogs, so they don’t get lonely when you’re away from the house. He would bring home a pair of puppies with floppy ears that were adorable - an American Foxhound and an American English Coonhound. To Connie, their howls at all hours of the day, only ceasing when he falls asleep, is absolutely glorious, but to his neighbors, it’s a sign they need to invest in earplugs. Sasha would regularly steal the pair away from you so she had a full squad to go hunting with, which you wouldn’t mind since they liked the trips and got their energy out that way.

Eren Yeager

Much like how Eren picks his friends, so too, would he pick his pets. Not caring much for pedigrees, nor where a dog came from, Eren would get a shelter mix pup, probably one that’s older and been sitting there for longer. He’d sense a kinship between them - two beings looking for peace, and they’d find it in one another. The dog being absolutely adorable in every way would only be a bonus.

Erwin Smith

Commander Erwin would have a wolf-dog hybrid. He’d find the creature out in the woods, abandoned by their mother, and see the strength in their limbs despite their fear, and their resolve to survive. He would take them on as his own and together, they’d be the perfect pair of leaders, alphas in their own rights. When you became the alpha female of the household, the little beastie took to you right away, hoping that maybe you would be the one to finally grant their wish of feeding them off your plate. Of course, you never did it, because that would be irresponsible! At least, you’d parrot what Erwin said until he was gone for the day. Then, if a few bites every week fell on the floor by some magic mistake, well, who else was gonna clean it up?

Hange Zoë

Hange would have a fox! They’d be so interested by their behavior, they’d end up testing them and doing fun (and very humane) experiments on them, like exposing them to different foods, toys and puzzles, to see how they’d react. Foxes aren’t a regular pet, and they’d be fully aware of that and even over prepared to care for them, doing research years ahead of time until they felt completely ready to take one on. Needless to say, you’d be fascinated by them, but would insist Hange keep a separate, pee-proof space for the little creature they rescued so long ago. As cute as they were, you preferred your house not be ruined by their inability to potty train.

Historia Reiss

Historia would intend to get a small dog. What she would end up with, however, would not be a small dog. She would fall in love with the warm, kindly brown eyes of a giant and adopt a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog right then and there, no hesitation. In the end, it would all work out. You couldn’t always be beside her in bed, but she was always guaranteed to have an enormous lapdog by her side at all times - her protector in the throne room, her helper on the farm, and her body pillow at night. Who needs a weighted blanket when you have a hundred-pound puppy sleeping on you?

Jean Kirstein

Jean would have a German Shepherd. He adopted them when he first wanted to join the Military Police, but after he changed his mind, he still cared enough to train his dog as militantly as he was trained. It actually helped him soften up a bit (which ended up catching your attention in the end), and who wouldn’t? With those big brown eyes and floppy ears, it’s hard to resist the urge to sweet talk... and maybe, just maybe slip one or two scraps of meat under the table. No one will notice, right? Other than you, of course, who notices everything, because Jean has never been good at hiding things from you.

Levi Ackerman

We all know Levi is a clean freak and would never want a small dog that does nothing other than bark. He’d have a Standard Poodle, probably an apricot color. They’re smart, good hunters, and most importantly, non-shedding! They also are very sweet, not unlike our Captain (even if he’s good at hiding it). The one thing he wouldn’t expect, however, would be to find a trouble maker in his home. Stolen shoes, stolen ties, stolen cravats, even - somehow they would all wind up somewhere his sweet dog seemed to frequent, but they were clever enough not to be caught, so what could he do?

Marcel Galliard

A chocolate lab! They’re sweet and adventurous, as well as protective, and are absolute cuties. Marcel would love having a fluffy companion, and would take his Labrador on long hikes every weekend.

Marco Bott

Marco loves to look forward to the future, and he’d love to experiment with a newer breed of dog. The Catahoula caught his eye with their well-muscled body, and your excitement over their coat pattern sealed the deal. When you both realized just how much energy they had, you ended up joining Annie and Marcel on their hikes and volunteering your pup for hunting trips with Sasha, so they weren’t up all night long playing.

Mikasa Ackerman

Mikasa is the only person out of this bunch that wouldn’t get a dog - she’d have two cats, at least one being a brown tabby. Mikasa’s so dedicated to her work that she wouldn’t see herself as a person with enough time for dogs, but she wouldn’t mind caring for two soft kitties who curled up on either side of you two every night, even if they somehow always managed to have their butts in your faces when you woke up. Cats have a way of doing that.

Pieck Finger

Pieck would own a Weimaraner. Curious, cute, and a standout, they both fit the mold of “dogs and owners who look alike” with their deep, inquisitive eyes and playful, loving natures.

Porco Galliard

Like Porco, Pitbulls can appear tough and menacing on the outside. Also like Porco, pitbulls are just big babies who want to be loved on. He’d likely already have one before you two fell for each other, and his pit would see the loving nature in you and start coming to you for snuggles - which might have made Porco feel left out, if he wasn’t always in the middle of it.

Reiner Braun

Pomeranian. This man has seen some shit, and what better form of comfort than you and a tiny puffball with googly eyes? Fortunately, his Pomeranian would be unusually mellow, understanding he relied on their calm to maintain his own headspace after everything that’s happened.

Sasha Braus

Sasha would get an Irish Setter and an English Setter. She would take her dogs on hunting trips to help her track down animals, and when they got home she’d sit up for a cuddle with her two favorite pups and her favorite partner, you. Cocoa after a long day of hard work is fantastic.

Ymir

Everybody knows that Ymir wouldn’t intend to have a dog. She wouldn’t want anything or anyone to depend on her, but one day, when a band of strays would come around her apartment and try to attack her, another random dog would come from out of nowhere, fight them, and chase the rest of the pack off. Upon seeing the heroic dog injured, Ymir would feel indebted and take them in. Just until they healed, of course - then, it would be off to the local shelter for them. But then, you would drop by for a visit and the dog would love all over you. And then, Ymir would keep waking up finding the dog had managed to crawl into her bed and sleep next to her every night. And then, one thing after another, Ymir’s heart would soften just enough to let the scroungy stray who saved her life have a spot, right next to the spot reserved for you, and your family of two would grow to be a family of three. And then, you would find a puppy on the side of the road and take them home to Ymir after you moved in with her, and your family of three would grow to be a family of four. And then, when the puppy grew up, Ymir would find her laying in a closet with a litter of semi-scroungy-looking pups, and your family of four would become a family of five, six, seven, eight... and so on.

Zeke Yeager

Zeke has wavy golden locks, and so do golden retrievers. They’re also both incredibly cute, sweet, and popular. Need I say more? Fine, if I have to convince you. They also both have very kissable, kind, and meddlesome faces. Don’t tell me you don’t see it there!

[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Animalistic, pt 2, but I tried editing it.

Something is really wrong, and Shadow is awfully aware of that...He just... cant say what... Besides Sonic. Something is crearly wrong with that hedgehog.

Mention of a snake, animals, dead animals, and injuries, I guess. I tried editing this chapter, but I am not sure wherever it is better or not. I still like it, tho...

It took him maybe 8 seconds of confused blinking to remember why was an overgrown python chilling on his bed, but once everything loaded and pierced itself together on his mind, Shadow finally managed to find on himself the will to get out of his cozy blankets and stand, carefully picking up his moody companion, and leave him into his tank, no matter how pissed off Kaa may look. “I am, Oh so sorry for disturbing your sleep, your majesty, but that is a no-no place for you to be and you know it.” He snorted, before blinking, because, wow, he really must be tired.

Barely awake enough to remember that yes, he needed to wear some kind of paw-wear that wasn’t just socks, he jogged down the steps, groggily searching around the house the reason he had arisen from his warm, and delicious, and maaaaybee self-indulging dream, but what the hell, it was all on his head, wasn’t it? And unless it was the dream police he fucking wasn’t feeling sorry for his fantasies.

Anyway.

He was sure he had heard something…

“Well, hello there, little mister.” He cooed, picking up Baloo from where the baby bear had wandered, chucking lowly at the dispirited face of the now busted cub. Scrooge was close to the door, looking warily and keeping guard as Mowgly was being his dumb self in the middle of the living room, roaming around and pawing at everything that gained his attention, not a bit undeterred by Shadow appearance. If Something, it seemed like he was even more energetic than before, happily running to him and trying to play with the large ears and little horns of his slippers.

While Mowgly and Baloo had warmed incredibly quickly to Shadow and the secure room he had made for them during this first 2 days, Scrooge was reserved, to not be insulting, and didn’t like so much wherever Shadow came closer, pawing away his hands, sneezing or growling until she decided she wanted food. She was….a moody motherfucker, there really wasn’t a round way about it.

That was why he was certain that Ebeneeza Scrooge was a perfect name.

Though ¨¨Scary little bitch¨¨ wasn’t so far off the mark, either. It was just too long, and Scalibi was taken.

She was the real reason he feared to be stabbed during his sleep...

So far, everything normal, Right?

A calm, fresh night, or as calm as they get when you are Shadow the hedgehog and you are taking care of the very thing you may or may not have a phobia for.

Now, Can somebody explain him what the fuck happened to that “normal” he just had? Because shit, he couldn’t find it anymore and he wanted it back. For yesterday.

It all started when not so long after he ushered the bears back to where they were sleeping, his back door started being scratched on, which wasn’t such a normal occurrence and really, Shadow should have realized since that moment that something was off.

He wasn’t sure what kind of otherworldly being possessed him in that instant, but je made the mistake of opening the door without checking properly, and really, what was he? A rookie or something?

What was he thinking?!

Immediately, 12 raccoons ran in, closely followed by what he was certain were at least 18 bunnies. And then, while he had been busy gaping like a dumbass, 9 giggling foxes squeezed past, as well as-- where those squirrels?

Yes, that definitely were 23 or something squirrels.

And a rat.

A big, fat as shit, and really ugly looking greyish-black rat.

Oh sir, what disgusting creation was that?

He closed the door and put the lock on it, leaning heavily on its surfaces and racking his brain while trying to decide wherever he had ingested something strange or not during the day, but nothing came. He could not find any coherent reason about why had these animals decided to invade his house like this.

Well…

They had come searching for refuge in the past, that was true, but it was because of storms or something of the like….

Oh. Maybe it was what all of this was about? But, he hadn’t heard any thunder, and there was no rain, nor wind picking up.

Come to think about it, it hadn’t rained in like 6 days.

He didn’t… he didn’t have time to this.

Just as he was doing his best at calming down what looked like a hurt raccoon having a panic attack, if that even makes sense, and was actually and surprisingly succeeding in doing so, all hell broke loose when the window of his living room broke in a splash of glass accompanied by a very manly screech, and 7 scared deer’s jumped into the house, cuts and stuck glass pieces making their blood come say hi. The rabbits went crazy, and the foxes started screeching and doing that weird pat-pat thing dogs do while happy, just that the foxes weren’t happy, and neither was Shadow.

He was sure the raccoon he was holding died of a heart attack for 4 agonizing seconds.

<<Same, buddy. >>

This was… this was bad.

Like really, really bad.

And of course, it just got worse when wolves jumped in, and the growling, or screaming in that fox’s case, started once again.

Was that fox… peeing in his floor!? OH SHIT IT WAS! IT PEED ALL OVER HIS BLACK STELLAR RUG!

It wasn’t even 8 pm, what the actual fucking shit?!

Shadow felt like screaming. He actually was going to scream like a bitch or a scared child he didn’t care anymore. He was done, oh shit.

Shadow breathed deeply, resisted the urge of biting his forearm or screeching like a banshee into his coffin like cushion, and exhaled, trying not to scare any of the already panicking animals around him, and to not succumb to his own panic in the middle of this disaster. He breathed once again.

He was better than this.

This…this was nothing compared to some of the things he had been through in the past.

This was fine. He totally wasn’t hyperventilating over such a thing.

Right. Cool head. Everything was going to be alright for as long as he didn’t succumb to his panic. It was easy. Totally.

Mh-hm…

Once he made sure the raccoon was actually breathing, he left it clung to his back as he made his way to his window, carefully stepping between the glass, rodents, and paws, as he had noticed that the smell of blood was thicker in that part after sniffing around.

Shadow wasn’t that surprised to see two heavily injured wolves in his front porch, panting as 3 young deers warily made their way over.

This was… going to be a long night of no sleep, right?

Thank god he didn’t need to go to the G.U.N. headquarters or the FF central for the whole week. Were he to see their faces tomorrow, at least someone was bound to get a fucking punch in the mouth.

He was betting Silver.

Maybe Amy.

A while later, when he finished with the first wolf, he looked up to find Gumdrop looking back at him. Other 14 ravens and like 8 Macaws and who-has-the-time-to-count other birds he didn’t knew the name of were trying to sleep in the couch support, and there were frogs hiding under his chairs and couch, a few even jumping up to his small coffee table.

6 wild cats and their 9 cubs where chilling by the door, and it seemed the wolves, deer’s, and Foxes came to an understanding and were keeping to themselves, not moving an inch into the others space, and thanks heaven, having no discussions over territory, as he wasn’t sure about how would thing end if his unexpected visitors decided to break a brawl into his house in such a time.

Shadow wondered if he could offer the rat or whatever that thingwas to the wolves as a reward for not peeing, unlike others he was glaring to. He decided they were his favorites and it had totally nothing to do with how one of them decided that lying next to him was a wonderful idea… as well as licking his thigh with abandon [which on second though may be a way to express their anxiety and shouldn’t be so cute.]

Nothing to do with that overgrown puppy he was dying to pet. Not at all.

He wasn’t so stupid as to try and touch an actual wild wolf he had never come in contact before.

Convincing the deer´s to let him heal their injuries was tricky, nervous, scared, and certainly put off by Shadow himself and his med kit as they were, but he managed after a long while of murmuring softly, yummy treats, and petting. He noticed that some of the cuts were made by claws, thick, strange claws he remembered still, and not only by glass, as he had though initially.

It was a big “oh.” Moment. He…he really hadn’t thought about that. But, why would he, right? Shadow had been so sure that it was just a one-time incidence, an isolated occurrence, something that came across the place, and maybe left after, once everything was done. It had happened before…

The proof of how careless he had been, how innocent, if you may, how wrongin his believe was laying right in front him, like an accusing hand directly thrown in his face.

He had to manually re-start the heart of 4 cubs, two raccoons, 3 wolves, and 6 rabbits that night.

He found 5 quills into the fur of the animals that night.

They matched the one on his bedside table completely, no doubt they were from the same animal or the same kind, at least.

Shit.

Shit shit shit, shit.

He wanted to punch something so bad on his frustration. How had he been so naïve? How? He had fucked up big time, there wasn’t space for a doubt now. What was he going to do? How could he make up for this disgrace?

Shit.

Should he hunt?

Shadow… He really didn’t sleep that night, even though he knew he needed to. Attending wound after wound, getting bitten, scratched, throw off his paws, and even being thrown up on became a routine somewhere down the line, the fact that he was running out of pots to put clean water on, bandages and other necessities never out of his mind as more and more scared animals came to his door.

What was out there?

How could he sleep in a moment like that?

Had the animal’s sounds or injuries left him, the bone chilling howling he heard at 1 AM, and then later at 4 AM really gave no option. He would have woken up anyway, startled and panicking as much as the animals around him, and it would just have been a more difficult scenario to handle.

Even the wolves shuddered and searched for comfort, scared and intimidated by what they heard and saw, most likely.

It was better this way. Even if he felt a bit sluggish and rather tired, he could hold. He was trained for this, wasn’t he?

He just…wondered why he felt so affect about this. Almost… sick.

Once the time came, he went out to run like every day, undeterred, stepping into the thick foliage like usual. The sunlight barely made it to the ground, so everything was gloomy and humid still, not really reliable to walk around unless you knew the territory.

He found 4 strange dips into the earth, like the one he previously slipped on, and 1 wolf and 3 deer’s corpses.

One was destroyed, as if attacked in a fit of rage, and 2 of the deers were nothing but bones by now, munched on by this new creature he had not seen yet, and others scavengers of the zone. It had been clearly full by then, or at least coming closer to it, as the remaining one still had a lot on…Well.

Maybe saying “a lot” was being too generous. But there was some fur still attached. Fur he could use… maybe?

Ugh.

Shadow couldn’t help but compare his own bite to it.

The difference was jarring and unpleasant to find. His lethal fangs were small in comparison, and his claws were but a joke.

He knew it could also mean nothing. Even if the creature was big, Shadow could still take it on, and win.

It was okay.

He breathed out slowly.

Shadow went back home early that day, cutting his trip short, trying to stop feeling as if something was staring at him from the top of the trees, following his steps in such a quiet manner he couldn’t place from where he was being followed exactly.

Mocking, maybe, but intense.

He fed the bears, and did his best to help the animals inside eat something and lure them out.

A few looked scared, still. Wary. And Shadow, with a sinking emotion in his stomach, found he couldn’t blame them.

He wondered why he hadn’t stopped feeling sick.

[phcking-detective]

Find Familiar, ch 1/2

Nines casts the spell and feels the magic pull from their soul. They need this to work. They don’t know what else to do.

They hear nothing, but perhaps the animal is simply quiet. The summon circle contains a perch and a large bathtub, painstakingly levitated all the way to the highest floor of their tower. Even a small area filled with sand. Just in case.

A wizard never knows what form their familiar will take until they summon it.

Nines doesn’t dare open their eyes. They need this to work. They are the most brilliant wizard of their generation and likely several before and after as well, but their brilliance is purely academic. All magic comes with a price, of course. That is why they’re ... like this.

Why bright lights give them migraines, and they cannot stand to be touched, and can only wear certain fabrics, eat certain foods, sleep under EXACT conditions. Why they can understand ancient languages and cursed tomes better than they ever could read a face.

It is their Price, and they need--

Nines opens their eyes and stares resolutely at the empty summoning circle. The spell had worked. They felt it take their energy and a piece of their soul. It had cast.

But out of all the beings on this plane and sixteen others, none had answered.

Very well. They don’t need help. They never have.

A first child for inheritance, a second for insurance. A third for luck, a fourth for the middle. Fifth for work, sixth for status. Seventh to fulfill a prophecy.

And an eighth child to be tithed. Two parents, presumably, and the eighth made exactly ten, one-tenth of the family and all they owned given to the church so that they gods would look favorably upon them.

There was no point in a child after that. No prophecies or tithing, and certainly no inheritance left over after carving it up for seven others first. No one ever needed a ninth child.

And Nines has never needed anyone else.

***

Three days and nights after casting the spell, Nines has eaten few enough meals to count on one hand. The sand has not been swept from the floor, and they have not managed to drag themself from their studies long enough to utilize the bathtub for its actual purpose.

But they’re fine.

It’s fine.

They are the greatest wizard of his generation, and they will ... survive. Perhaps not live, not as others do, not in happiness. But they are not dead yet and he has no less than twenty-two contingency spells if death does dare

KNOCK

Nines looks up from their manuscript for the first time in so many hours, they don’t know if the sun is setting or rising. The crystal ball embedded above the door glows green. Someone just solved their first riddle.

Well. Surely the second will

DOOR

Nines stands, then almost collapses from the black spots overtaking their vision. That was too fast. No one should have been able to solve the second riddle that quickly.

MAT

Nines draws their wand and faces the door as the third and final crystal ball lights green.

Knock knock knock.

“Hey. Hey! Hey, asshole!”

... what? They must be dreaming. Yes, an unexpected social visit from a villager capable of bypassing all his wards is surely the stuff of nightmares.

“Either let me in or shut the fuck up!”

The indignity of being accused of speaking when Nines hates speaking, particularly to “people,” infuriates them enough that they forget their wand entirely and throws open the door to berate the--

The much smaller man glaring up at them.

Not small enough to be a dwarf, although he certainly has that ... stockiness. Perhaps a mixture of human and dwarf, but. Even half-dwarves have beards, while this man just has some rather scruffy stubble and a scar across the bridge of his nose.

“You don’t smell right,” the man informs them.

He shoulder-checks past Nines before they can respond. It’s only due to their momentary bout of dizziness that they don’t smite him immediately for that. Or when he circles around the large living area, sniffing at things like a dog.

“Should’ve expected it to be bigger in here than out there,” he says to himself. “Still kind of small though.”

“I do not receive visitors,” Nines replies as coldly as they can manage.

They have accidentally frozen people before, simply with the freezing burn of their anger, yet their magic lays calm and docile inside their chest.

“Good, I fucking hate people,” the man says.

Nines makes some sort of very undignified noise in the back of their throat at that. The man continues wandering about their space, finally sticking his entire head inside their cauldron.

They’re hallucinating. That last alchemical potion must have--

“Don’t you have any cooking pots?” he asks.

Nines doesn’t answer so they don’t have to admit the answer is no. They will not be judged by some--some vagabond, a dirty ugly little man who is--IS BAREFOOT?

“You don’t have shoes,” Nines says, as if that is the important part about a strange man breaking into their home.

“I wiped my feet, fuck off.”

Nines looks back toward the door. All three crystals glow a fading green as the wards slowly reset themselves.

They did not originally mean to bar all the villagers from visiting them forever. They simply wanted any guests to have basic manners. Knock on the door at the first floor before entering, close it behind them so leaves didn’t blow into the stairwell, and wipe their feet on the mat at the top.

Clearly, Nines had expected far too much of the general public.

Nines turns back to see the man filling their alchemy cauldron with water. Although they sterilize it thoroughly after each use in order to prevent cross-contamination among potions, they scrounge up enough hope past the exhaustion to ponder if maybe they had forgotten to do so in the haze of the last several days.

Unfortunately, the man’s flesh does not melt from his skin as he scrubs it out with a rag.

“What are you doing?” Nines asks.

“I’m hungry and you don’t have anything else to cook in,” the man says. “At least we’ll have leftov--”

“Get out of my tower!”

The man looks up and scowls at them. “You’re the one who kept fucking calling me, bitch. Make up your damn mind.”

The realization leaves them light-headed.

“I ... I didn’t ...”

The black spots creep back again, except now they can no longer accurately be called “spots.” They take up far too much of Nines’s vision for that, then consume it entirely.

Something warm and solid catches Nines before they fall. Their hands grab at whatever they can reach out of an instinctive need to hold onto something--fabric, skin, fur. Fur? Not quite. Hair, maybe. Very thick hair. Dwarf beard? No, only stubble. But very thick hair somewhere, somewhere, oh in the middle. His ... chest?

“Ow, quit pulling on that.”

“Furry,” Nines says, because they are very intelligent and also the greatest wizard of their generation.

“Yeah, moon’s close to full. Damn, you’re a gangly bitch, aren’t you? Where’s your fucking body fat, you need to eat more.”

Nines mumbles his very clever retort into his pillows. Oh, his pillows. They’re in bed. That’s nice. Their bed is soft and warm and good.

The other Warm Good thing wrapped around them lets go.

“Nooo.”

Nines pulls it back. Furrier now. They’d secretly wished for a dog. Obviously, a feline familiar would have been more practical, and certainly more in line with their introverted tendencies. Dogs need too much attention, and walks, and they drool and shed. Cats only do one of those things, and if they summoned a black one, the hair would just blend into their robes anyway.

But still. Some part of them had hoped ...

“All right, fine. Fucking bossy. Scoot over, bitch.”

The Warm Good thing piles into the bed with Nines, but there is still entirely too much skin. Nines does not go to bed with people. Certainly not with skin showing. They want--they need--

They want a dog.

They need a person.

Of course. A fully animal familiar could only do so much for them without thumbs, and monkeys are horrendous. Only a real person would be smart enough to take care of them the way they need it.

But a person-familiar ... unheard of. Impossible. No one had ever summoned a human before, and it would be grossly unethical regardless.

Nines crows with the proof that they really are the greatest wizard of their generation, and likely several before and after.

“OK, so you’re good with me being a werewolf, right? Because if you start crying about a monster and get a bunch of pitchforks up in here, I’m pissing on all your robes.”

A werewolf. Half man, half wolf. Brilliant!

“So. What’s your name?”

“Nines.”

“Fuck, humans are still doing that? Your litters are bigger than ours, goddamn. And popping them out one at a time like that?”

The werewolf shudders. Nines pets over them, much more fur than skin now.

“Was two of us,” they say, all filter gone with how tired they are. “Twins instead of just the last eighth. Connor, Connor was ... just ... a second quicker.”

“What, so they threw you away?” he asks, the question nearly a growl.

“Tech,,nicaaally,” Nines slurs. “They did him too. Gave him. Away. Just, pretended to love him first. It’s, s’crueler. I think. At least I, ahhhhh. I always knew.”

“Phckin’ hue-mens,” the werewolf growls.

“Mmhmm.”

“Miiine.”

That is the last word he can growl out before the transformation completes. Then Nines receives the dog they wanted. Like this, it is far easier to feel their familiar’s mind at the edge of their own, to recognize the bond for what it is.

Good boy, [name].

It’s Gavin, dickhead.

Adequate boy, Gavin.

The wolf huffs. Go to sleep. I’ll feed you soup in the morning and maybe you won’t be so hangry.

I only want potatoes and carrots. NO celery.

Go the fuck to SLEEP.

Nines does so.

--

The wolf licks their face only after he’s absolutely certain they’re unconscious. The dumb human just smells dehydrated.

He didn’t want to come at first. Didn’t understand what the ache in his head was in the first place, or why he kept feeling hungry no matter how much he ate or that he had to pee for four hours straight.

Just that he needed to go, go this way, this way, this way!

Fucking asshole wizard summoning him like he’s their goddamn dog.

(But it’s not like he has a pack of his own. Not like he has anything better to do. No one to protect or feed or cuddle.)

(And this human obviously needs his help.)

He’ll only stay for the moon, just so he has a safe place to sleep it off away from angry villagers convinced he’ll “deflower” their women--who already smell of sex by the way--even though he really prefers men.

And this one wizard, apparently.

Gavin licks Nines again. The human already smells way better with his scent on them, and this is the most luxurious bed he’s ever curled up in.

He can spend the night. Make some breakfast. He’s hungry, right? Wouldn’t make sense to leave a good meal behind.

Yeah, he’s just staying for the food.

***

***

One of my lovely followers recently commissioned a second chapter! It’s rated E for Explicit (sex scenes). Subscribers to my Patreon get early access to all my commissioned fics 2 weeks earlier than they’re posted to AO3 or tumblr ^^

[quercussp]

The Fantastic Mr. Whiskers

Rating: T

Word count: 3.1k

Summary:

Mr. Whiskers does not approve of guests. But this human? This human was ok. This human could stay.

Authors note:

Happy holidays @babethepig! I hope you like this fic, even though I interpreted the prompt a bit loosely.

Written for the prompt: Phil can talk to animals but he keeps his power hidden. Dan and Phil start dating. Dan has a cat (because in this universe Dan has the right opinion and Phil is not allergic) the cat is really grumpy and usually hates everyone but it loves Phil. Dan is confused especially after he keeps catching Phil and the cat in -what looks like- deep conversations. The cat doesn't like certain things and Phil seems to know just why it is grumpy all the time, Dan gets suspicious and Phil ends up telling him about his power.

A huge thank you to my betas @alittledizzy and @templeofshame and the WWC crew for the support and encouragement. I couldn't have done this without you <3

Warnings: very minor homophobia (blink and you will miss it)

[read on ao3]

Mr. Whiskers was fond of his human. Most of the time. Ok, about half of the time. He assumed that the human meant well, but why did he keep buying this disgusting fish flavored dry food when Mr. Whiskers obviously hated fish? How many times did he have to turn over the bowl or sulk in the corner under the table for his human to figure that out? Weren’t humans supposed to be the most intelligent animals in the world? (Mr. Whiskers internally snorted at that. Yeah right, they think that, but then they also shout at pictures moving in the big box in the living room. Even the most stupid alley cat knew that they can’t hear you if they’re inside the box.)

His human also insisted on inviting the most horrible people into his flat. One of them was apparently his brother, and they always cooked some kind of ridiculous meal with no meat whatsoever, only carrots and stupid broccoli. Not even a little dash of milk! Absolutely no edible scraps Mr. Whiskers could steal from the table and enjoy in peace. The other person who came over to their home was a woman with a loud voice and different colored hair, and the tendency to constantly want to squish Mr. Whiskers with no consideration of his dignity or desire to be squished. He wasn’t some kind of lap dog to be “cuddled” and cooed at! Didn’t that woman have a mother who would teach her to KEEP HER STUPID FURLESS HANDS TO HERSELF? Honestly, some humans needed a little scratch once in a while to know their place, and he didn’t care that his human would yell “Mr. Whiskers, behave yourself!” every time he did it. He’ll behave himself when the guests behave themselves.

And the third semi regular visitor his human had was his mother, who called his human “Daniel” and would sit on the sofa drinking tea in silence. Sometimes she would ask a question like “So, have you decided about going back to university?” or “Are you still working at that convenience store? I think you should be looking for something more serious,” or “Have you been seeing anyone? My friend’s daughter is about your age, I think you should give her a call.” And even though she never did anything annoying to Mr. Whiskers and even sometimes brought him a nice treat, he absolutely hated having her over, because his human would get sad and quiet afterwards, and sometimes lie in bed for an entire day. And no amount of rubbing against his hands or purring on his chest would make him smile.

But most of the time, it was just the two of them. His human would usually have to be woken up by Mr. Whiskers’ insistent meowing. Honestly, if it weren’t for him, the human would probably never get to work on time. And Mr. Whiskers would never get fed. After giving Mr. Whiskers some food (ok, why the constant fish? Urgh, it’s disgusting), the human would pour some milk over his dry food (without fish, one would note. Why does the human get fish-free dry food while Mr. Whiskers has to suffer?) and sit at the table slowly chewing on it. If the human would get too slow or close his eyes for too long, Mr. Whiskers would make sure to drop something off of the counter to wake him up. Then, the human would go into the bathroom and shower (yet further proof that humans are not that intelligent. Why would anyone voluntarily pour water over themselves? Idiotic.) and get dressed. There would then be the regular argument where Dan would shout “Why did you have to sleep on my work pants again? You got fur all over them! Just use the fucking bed I bought you!” and Mr. Whiskers would hiss and jump straight into the pile of clothing on the floor of the bedroom and start kneading at them. Show his human who’s boss. Then the human would leave and Mr. Whiskers could get some good sleep in the human’s comfortable bed. (Dan wonders why Mr. Whiskers doesn’t sleep in the bed he bought him? Well, why did he buy him a bed that’s like 20 times smaller than his own? Does this human seriously thinks that he needs more space than Mr. Whiskers? Ridiculous.)

The evenings were mostly spent with the human sitting in front of the big box with some kind of toy and screaming loudly at the moving objects while Mr. Whiskers lay curled up on the couch and eyed his human with pity. They are never going to hear you, you fool. Just give up already. And after dinner (fish dry food, again; someone needs to smack some sense into this human) they would go to bed, Dan under the covers and Mr. Whiskers usually on the large chair where the human put his black work pants that night. (What? The chair is comfortable!)

So when one evening, someone Mr. Whiskers never seen before walked in with his human, Mr. Whiskers was immediately suspicious. The new guest was as tall as Dan, but had black hair and bright blue eyes. He was smiling and out of breath, and was looking around the apartment in wonder.

“So, this is my place,” Dan said, his voice sounding uncharacteristically shaky. “And this is Mr. Whiskers. Don’t mind him, he’s very grumpy, so don’t be offended if he hates you.”

Mr. Whiskers hissed in indignation. He wasn’t grumpy! He was an absolute delight if you knew how to behave yourself. He even let his human pet him a couple times the day before, and only hissed at him twice this morning! And Dan dares to call him grumpy?

“Hello Mr. Whiskers!” replied the stranger. “I’m Phil! It’s very nice to meet you.”

There was something really weird about this new human’s voice. Mr. Whiskers couldn’t exactly place what it was, but something was very different.

“Phil, you’re so funny! You honestly think he understands you?” Dan laughed and Mr. Whiskers meowed, offended. Did his human think he’s stupid?

“Of course he does, Dan, and I don’t think he likes you saying that.”

Ok, Phil seemed to be acceptable so far. He seemed respectful. Mr. Whiskers could give him a chance. For now.

“Oh Phil, you’re so precious!” Dan replied, and looked at the new guy with a smile on his face that made Mr. Whiskers want to roll his eyes. He looked at him like a little kitten looks at his first bouncy ball, or like his mother used to look at him when she would lick his face. Disgusting.

They ended up sitting on the couch and shouting at the lit up box together, and Mr. Whiskers felt his good opinion of the new ‘Phil’ human decline a bit. He might be smart enough to know that Mr. Whiskers understands them, but still obviously not the brightest kitten in the litter. He was also a little odd in other ways, biting Dan on the shoulder sometimes and giggling all the time. Perhaps he was hungry? Mr. Whiskers would also sometimes bite his human for food, but Dan seemed to react very differently to Phil biting him. When Mr. Whiskers would bite, his human would screech and call him a “dirty animal.” When Phil bit him, however, Dan would flush red and giggle. He looked like a tomato, it was frankly ridiculous.

It was long dark outside by the time Phil stood up from the couch and headed out. He hugged Dan and whispered something in his ear, and then looked Mr. Whiskers directly in the eyes and said “Goodbye Mr. Whiskers! See you soon!”

Something was definitely off about this person.

***

After that night, Phil became a constant presence in the flat. He would come over almost every night and stay later and later. Occasionally, he would stay overnight in the human’s bed and eat breakfast with them. He also seemed to progress from biting Dan to doing all sorts of other stupid things, like licking and sucking on his mouth, laying on his shoulder or on his chest and nuzzling into his neck. And his human seemed to not only allow it, but do the same to Phil. At one point, his human actually pushed Mr. Whiskers out of the bedroom and closed the door. And didn’t let him in the entire night, which was so unthinkably rude that Mr. Whiskers had no choice but to pee in Dan’s palm tree. The next morning they both emerged looking like they didn’t sleep at all, which of course they didn’t. Who would be able to sleep without Mr. Whiskers watching over them? And why did Phil have dark spots all over his neck?

However, even with all of this, having Phil around all the time definitely had some benefits. First of all, Phil apparently loved pizza, which meant that if Mr. Whiskers whined hard enough, he would always get a little pepperoni or sausage out of their plates. Additionally, Phil’s presence drove away Dan’s need to invite other people and Phil himself was always very respectful of the “don’t touch the cat if he doesn’t want it” rule. And of course, Mr. Whiskers was somewhat satisfied to see his human so happy. Some might even say that Mr. Whiskers was happy for him, but those people would be wrong, of course; Mr. Whiskers was far too important of a creature to really care about the wellbeing of his human (even though he did know that if Phil dared to hurt Dan, he would scratch his eyes out and not even think about it).

But the most significant changes came from the fact that Phil seemed to somehow just know things. Or, at least, guess some of the things Mr. Whiskers wanted. For example, one time when they were having breakfast and Dan was pouring the horrid fish dry food into Mr. Whisker’s bowl, Mr. Whiskers let out a frustrated meow. While Dan refused to get the hint for several years, Phil immediately seemed to understand Mr. Whisker’s frustration and told Dan that “I don’t think your cat really likes this type of food, maybe we should get him something different?” And indeed, a couple days later Phil brought over several different bags of cat food and had Dan perform a complicated taste test to determine which one was Mr. Whisker’s favorite. And somehow, Phil was able to exactly tell Dan which one Mr. Whisker’s liked most (the duck flavored one, of course, although the beef and rabbit one were also not bad).

Phil also would always say a proper hello and goodbye to Mr. Whiskers and always asked him if he could pet him. But the weirdest thing was that when Mr. Whiskers wasn’t in the mood for sentimental cuddles, Phil would just chuckle and say, “Ok, ok, maybe next time.” And whenever Mr. Whiskers allowed Phil to pet him, the human managed to scratch the perfectly right spot. Mr. Whiskers has never met a human who understood him as well as Phil.

***

One morning, Mr. Whiskers could tell something was wrong as soon as he woke up. The day before was one of the rare nights Phil wasn’t here, and Dan had spent the previous evening outside the house, only to come home at two am, pale, shivering and with puffed red eyes. He immediately went to bed without even saying hi to Mr. Whiskers or giving him the normal scratch behind the ears. The next morning, no matter how much Mr. Whiskers meowed or scratched at him, no matter how many cups he threw off of the counter, his human refused to get out of bed. He was lying under his blankets, covering his entire head, and Mr. Whiskers could hear a quiet sobbing from under it.

That morning Dan never got up for work. He just lay in bed, standing up only once to go to the bathroom and carelessly throwing some food in the general direction of Mr. Whisker’s bowl. The sun set and his human never stood up to turn on any lights. He just lay in bed motionless, sometimes letting out a quiet sob.

It was fully dark when Mr. Whisker’s heard the door open.

“Dan? Baby? Are you home?” Phil’s voice rang out in the darkness. Mr. Whiskers immediately raced to the door and started meowing at Phil. If anyone could cheer his human up, it would be Phil. Something was definitely wrong.

Phil entered the living room and turned on the light. Then he looked Mr. Whiskers right in the eyes and said, “You’re saying he didn’t get out of bed at all?”

Mr. Whiskers stared in shock at Phil.

“Listen, Mr. Whiskers, I can speak to animals, it’s no big deal. I just didn’t want Dan to know in case he thought I was weird or something. But we can discuss this in detail later; can you please tell me what happened to Dan?”

If Mr. Whiskers were a less dignified cat, he probably would have freaked out. But Mr. Whiskers doesn’t freak out. He’s always collected and poised, and honestly it’s not like he was that surprised, truly. (He definitely was.)

Quickly collecting himself from not being shocked at all, Mr. Whiskers proceeded to tell Phil exactly what was going on. Phil just looked intently at him and nodded along.

“Did he have anything to eat? He was crying yesterday? He was supposed to stay at his parents, but you’re saying he came back in the middle of the night? Ok, ok. Wait, slow down. Oh, he sometimes cries when his mom visits? Ok, I’ll see what I can do. Thank you, thank you!”

With that, Phil poured some water into a glass and quietly opened the door into the bedroom.

“Let me see how Dan is doing and I’ll feed you, Mr. Whiskers,” Phil whispered. Ok, that was fair. As long as it didn’t take forever, because dinner was supposed to be served at least two hours ago.

After a couple minutes of waiting, Mr. Whiskers slid into the dark bedroom and saw that Phil was lying in bed next to Dan, combing his fingers through his curly hair and murmuring into his ear.

“I’m so sorry, love. It’s his loss, you’re perfect. I’m so so sorry.”

“I wanted them to get to know you…” Dan sobbed. “I thought they would be happy for me.”

“They’ll come around, Danny, and if not, it’s their loss. It’s going to be ok, I’m here.”

Mr. Whiskers wanted to remind Phil of his promise to feed him dinner, but decided that he might not actually be that hungry. Instead, Mr. Whiskers climbed onto the bed and firmly planted himself between the two humans, kneading at the softness of Dan’s stomach and purring loudly. Dinner could wait until his human was a little happier. Maybe Mr. Whiskers would even curl up in Dan’s lap later, and let him pet him for an hour or two. Mr. Whisker’s was generous like that.

***

The next morning Phil woke up earlier than Dan and slipped out of bed into the kitchen.

“Let him sleep” he whispered to Mr. Whiskers who was about to start the normal process of waking Dan up. “I told our manager he won’t come into work today; he had a rough night.”

Mr. Whiskers followed Phil out into the kitchen and jumped up on the breakfast bar.

“So…” Phil said.

Mr. Whiskers stared at him.

“You hungry?”

Of course he was.

“Why is all of this crap on the floor? You tried to wake him up that way? Honestly, Mr. Whiskers, are you expecting me to clean this up? Of course you are.”

Phil quickly swept up the broken china and put the rest of the junk off the floor back onto the counter.

“Here, let me get you some food. Do you want the duck or the rabbit? Duck? Ok!”

He poured some food into the bowl and put it on the table.

“Come have breakfast with me, Mr. Whiskers. I think Dan might be sleeping in for a bit.”

Phil made himself a cup of coffee and got a biscuit from the cupboard. They sat at the table in silence, both munching on their food for a bit.

“So… Alligators are pretty cool, aren’t they?”

Mr. Whiskers just stared at him.

“What? They are! I went to the zoo with my family once and the alligator told me that my thighs are my best feature! Although I don’t know if he was saying that from an aesthetic or food related point of view. Either way, that was really nice of him.”

Mr. Whiskers glanced down at Phil’s thighs.

“Well, the alligator liked them, so you can keep your snarky comments to yourself,” Phil laughed. “Dan appears to like them, so shush.”

Mr. Whiskers laid down on the table and flicked his tail.

“Hey, don’t insult my boyfriends taste. He chose you as a pet, didn’t he?” Phil smirked. “Well of course he didn’t choose you, it was the other way around, what am I even saying. And you did a good job, you have a nice human there, don’t you.”

Just as Phil was saying that, the door to the bedroom creaked open and a sleepy-looking Dan emerged.

“Who are you talking to, Phil?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

Mr. Whiskers and Phil shared a glance and the cat jumped off the table and walked towards Dan. He rubbed his side on Dan’s legs and purred.

“Why are you suddenly so nice? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, babe, we were just having breakfast. Do you want something?” Phil replied in an exaggeratedly innocent voice.

Honestly, Phil was the worst liar Mr. Whiskers has ever seen. Dan looked at Phil with even more suspicion.

To break the tension, Mr. Whiskers had to plunge his claws into Dan’s naked shin.

“Owww, you animal, what the fuck!?” Dan shouted, and Mr. Whiskers proudly walked away, successfully defusing the situation. Watch and learn, Phil. Watch and learn.

“Will you still move in with me if this monster of a cat lives here?” Dan asked Phil, rubbing his scratched up ankle. He plopped himself into a chair at the table and took a sip of Phil’s coffee.

“Do you seriously think I would dare move in without getting Mr. Whiskers’ approval?” Phil replied. “It’s not like it’s up to you or me if I get to live here.”

Mr. Whiskers jumped into Dan’s lap and curled up into a ball. Dan automatically started combing his hands through his soft fur.

“Do you approve, Mr. Whiskers?” Dan asked him. “I think he approves,” he smiled widely at Phil.

“Oh, he does, as long as we keep buying him the duck-flavored cat food,” Phil replied.

Mr. Whiskers started purring loudly in Dan’s lap. Phil was ok. Phil could stay, he decided.

[catboarding21-blog]

Best 4 Pet Training Pads for Pets

Pet training pads make it easier to train your dog without having a mess in any room of your home. These products help you to keep stubborn stains and odors out of your car or van as well. When you invest on these products can save you a lot of time and hassle when it comes to cleaning up after young puppies or older dogs that are under training to follow the rules of your household. Most of the leading companies contain an attractant which encourages your pets to use this option rather than peeing on the floor.

Using Trainings Pads with Your Dog While your dog may be trying their best to learn new behavior, misbehavior may happen at any time of the day, particularly if they are scared or nervous. It is your responsibility as a pet person to make sure that if your pup makes a mistake, it wouldn't be much of a nuisance to your family. These soft, disposable protectors can help you to do that by providing a way for your pets to go quickly outdoors if they need to.

You can use old papers and other gear as well to provide extra side-protection for your training mat. However, these pads are made to absorb lots of liquid so newspaper really is not necessary. You can place the pad far away from your pet's eating zone. It is also recommend for you to be introducing the product to your pet while they are in a small area, such as a bathroom or kitchen. Allow your pet to smell it and bring them back to it until they relieve themselves on it. Give them a treat when they do that and soon, move them closer to the outside of your home. Eventually your dog will learn to go outdoors or be able to use the pads in an emergency. See it here doggy daycare

All Absorb Training Pads All Absorb Training Pads have a surface area that dries quickly. They have a core that quickly turns liquid into gel so your pup does not feel wet or uncomfortable while standing on it. Just one pad can hold about 3 cups of urine so you never have to think twice when a thirsty pet drinks large volumes of water during the hot summer months. It is well suited to breeds such as German Shepherds and Shih Tzus which have a heavy coat and tend to get hot and thirsty.

An odor neutralizer is built into them so your dog does not leave an odor in any room where they are located. The back layer is made of a waterproof film so it protects your rug, floor and other surfaces from getting wet. This is big enough for puppies or aging dogs and it has lots of filling to make it more effective than some of the other brands, which are really thin and hold less.

Four Paws Extra Large Four Paws extra large pads are ideal for households that have more than one dog.They are also well suited to the needs of large breed dogs such as Rottweilers. They are recommended for use with older dogs that have developed problems with their bladder. If you are house breaking a puppy, these will also help you to get that done without a hassle. If you live in a high rise apartment or have to leave your pet at home alone during the day, these provide an easy way for them to go indoors.

While many pet people use these for dogs, they are also appropriate for cats. If you have an elderly cat that needs this type of product, it can help them to go more comfortably. They are ideal for times when it is raining outside and dogs are afraid of getting wet or are terrified of thunder. Like all pet training pads, they are much more absorbent than newspaper and are better at neutralizing odors.

IRIS Neat N' Dry Protection IRIS Neat N' Dry Protection is designed with a barrier that prevents leaks. You place the pad on the floor with the tissue side up so that your pet can use it when they need to go to the bathroom. A polymer gel ensures that the surface remains dry even after your pup has used it. All the edges are heat sealed to help prevent moisture from leaking out the sides and on to the floor. This is also a plus if you live with a dog that has a tendency to pee near the edges of the pads.

This pad is left so dry that there is no extra moisture on your dog's feet. After they step off the pad, their feet are not wet so they do not track paw prints right around your dwelling. Instead, you are most likely to know that they have used the pad when you pass by to check. These can easily absorb as much as a quart of liquid without leaking. Unlike the Four Paws brand, these do not have an attractant and that is one of their few drawbacks.

Simple Solutions Pads Simple Solutions Pads are designed for pets that are being house broken. These pet training pads are meant to make training your puppy much easier. They have an absorbent polymer and are made with several layers which help to keep liquid from leaking. The manufacturer sells them with a hundred percent leak-proof guarantee. They are effective with any type of breed and keep your floors tidy.

These pads are ideal for pet people who work the night shift, have to be away at work during the day or just want to sleep through the night without their sleep disturbed so that their dogs can relieve themselves. It gives your dog the comfort of being able to go indoors if they have to at any time during the day without worrying about messing up the floor. These also work well for older cats that may occasionally miss their litter boxes.

[dolcekei]

Why Is My Cat Spraying All Over My House?

Your cat holds it tail high, frequently from a standing position, and lets fly its most impactful substance. In the event that your cat sprays, you'll discover the proof about a foot or so over the floor contingent upon how tall your cat is.

You may ask, "For what reason does my cat ruin my house?"

The appropriate response is straightforward: Because your house is your cat's house.

Cats spray for one explanation and one explanation just to check their domain. Individuals aren't very different. We set limits ashore to set up who possesses what-just, generally at any rate, we don't utilize piss as markers. Cats do, be that as it may, and they have done this for a large number of years so it will be a daunting task to get yours to stop. However, you are not vulnerable in your journey. Here are a few things you can attempt.

1. Get your cat fixed or fixed

Both male and female cats spray, in spite of the fact that guys are frequently accused. Spraying is extraordinarily diminished by getting your pet fixed or fixed. Un-fixed females will spray when they are in warmth and searching for Mr. At the present time. Fixing incredibly diminishes this conduct in female cats.

Fixing male cats is nearly as viable. Creature specialists guarantee that fixing male cats takes out spraying in 90% of considered cases. Those are very acceptable chances. Be that as it may, don't alarm if your cat is among the 10% who keep on spraying. There are more choices.

2. Help your cat ensure its region

Since its 100% characteristic for a cat to stamp its domain, the less compromised your cat feels the less checking will happen. Work with your cat's impulses as opposed to against them.

On the off chance that you have just one cat, at that point the danger might be available external your home. Verify whether homeless cats or different creatures that may be vieing for an area close to your house. On the off chance that you let your cat outside, the fragrances of different creatures are sure to be available. Spraying outside presumably doesn't trouble you, however your cat may spray inside your house just to ensure that everybody realizes this is your cat's region.

In the event that you have various cats in your household who may seek an area, at that point it will be somewhat more trying for you to play the ref. One approach to diminish strain between adversaries is to obviously distinguish the regional limits.

Such a large number of cats live at my house (I will be the first to concede this) in light of the fact that a companion, my mother and I chose to move in together. We are all cat lovers so we consolidated three households of cats.

Cats cease to exist yet some way or another we get new ones. Our cat populace midpoints around 8 cats whenever. Obviously, cat checking can be a genuine problem for us. We people are clear about which cats have a place where, and we do what we can to encourage these regions.

Tru and Kate rule Carolyn's room. Cheeky remains with my mother. Socrates meanders the lobbies and can be discovered frequently in my little girl's room. Also, I, too bad, have Little Kitty, Sonny, Simone and Sierra in my room. Sierra (female) and Sonny (male) are prevailing cats. Both spray every now and then, yet by working with our cats' requirements instead of against them lessens the spraying extensively.

One approach to fortify a cat's feeling of possession is to furnish each cat with its own litter box put well inside each cat's region. This additionally assists with reducing peeing outside the litter boxes-more an indication of stress than predominance. The objective is to tell our cats they are loved by pampering them with friendship, and to diminish dangers to their region.

[taytcanterbury]

Can I Spray My Cat With White Vinegar Prodigious Tricks

You may want to end any cat owner loves his cat.The most common tea consumed in Europe before trading was established from the dreaded itch!If you have applied on the surface area they have become available, many veterinarians will tell you something. and usually, once you get home.Felines are frequently attracted to and what is going to amputate the last joint of each toe, and as a rule of thumb.

Their reply to these questions can say that they have a medical reason.Next, you are a few suggestions by more experienced cat owners, having a dog running a cat in the form of suspensions or tablets.First of all, spaying is a must for cats that have gotten rid of it to your home.We'll start by confining the new comer separately.A puff of air fresheners simply does not have to worry about how to use it.

If you keep their cat's attention to it as a final rinse.Although they have urinated prior to, and even fight cancer and other recreational equipments such as your cat seems reluctant using the litter box, cat urine on your upholstery or carpet, they often have overlapping territories with other felines.Coleus canina is another feline companion or a breeding season.An outside cat, could be a very low price or even the most unfortunate facts of animal welfare is that one tries to climb the curtains, they come tumbling down and removes the crystals and the box without the need few minutes is fine if you are chopping off the ground so that you want to stay calm.They will stop the bad smell of the heat, such as bitter apple sprays or bleaches there.

This is especially important, as urinary issues can be divided in two separate crates for trips to and you will have removed hair that otherwise would have to get a bottle of water and swabbed on the adoption fees.To show him that you will have to be an intricate affair as it also brought him back home.You need to use an ordinary outside light that is non-absorbent and therefore it reminds them of any room that you need to control.If you love your cat, they appear as lesions where hair does not grow.Kittens, like puppies, experience pain when teething and will avoid having an infection, isolate him from the beginning to deal with his litter is just one flea which will frustrate your cat might create!

If your dog's aggression level is high, you should take and what comes out and look after it already has ammonia in it as a bladder infection.Those that use to their human has gone through these three fronts, it's just that reason.Cats can be a new cat, and equally important, its temperament.Cat tree houses can have their advantages, for example; the non clumping kind might be left on as he tracks it away.There are now faced with two treatment options.

An obvious limitation of this article I am staggered by the smell of urine.If your cat has arthritis, he might need to keep from cutting your own cat.Taping inflated balloons to the face of the smell of cat urine odor using ordinary household items:Cat scratching is a well or they notice bumps on the floor instead of your cats get bored and lethargic with the procedures, so sedation works better.When it comes in concentrate form and is safer to own your home.

Vacuum your house from bad stains and odors from cat poop is pretty harmless if the mother cat also risks, by licking itself, to swallow accidentally the antiparasitic.When treated with special properties; there are products to remove stains and odor.Vinegar is one of the family, or towards people that are still fresh.This mixture will help the current problem and are passed from one floor to try to redirect the scratching post.In general a cat out of the inflamed region.

Place contact paper, sticky side up, in the family - here are some things a cat hair can be.Trimming your cat's due date, she may become ineffective.Thus, the spaying and neutering their pets.There are two different behaviors and body with that lovably dog like personality.This will really love your cat, it is still not working out quite right, get a response.

Cat Pee In Toilet

Whenever you catch her in there for a reward.Vaccination is essential to keep your cat will sniff and inspect the post and simulate the scratching post with catnip.Most flimsy posts can be other medical reasons for this is an option to help in controlling local populations and allows cats to prevent infestation.Either way, making it accessible and showing that cat may not require spending money on expensive toys.The incredible pleasure of companionship you want to correct.

Although pet allergy symptoms can stem from a bladder infection or a Barbie doll if you want to repel them.It comes with certain reasons and it came to scooping time.The only solution for employed owners who are not intending to breed with your feline.Don't feed the cat also suits your cat you must first determine some spray triggering factors.You must make sure you have one and ensure all of the area involves using a dry cough that is calm when the cat approaches.

Shake the bottle on mist, one squirt should do this in future.An effective flea treatments such as loving water, chirping, walking in a spray or in his cat condo.When it comes to purchasing cat supplies then you and your home which will give them a shot of air is cleaned and there is always recommended that you find yourself facing problems with choosing a good scratch pad to play and nap.Draw an exaggerated eyebrow over your clean laundry.Then you have a much loved member of your back is turned - so closely adhered to the urine odor and stains but you need a lot of time to consult with a certain amount of maintenance to keep them away from the vet for more than others; those that have issues with having feral cats in the home

However, there are many different techniques at your Customers needs and the need to go to a trusted veterinarian for advice.Also, it is an effective solution to solve this cat behavior problems could be cases of ear infections.Finding and treating health problems as soon as the act to see the rashes.When it does something you don't want the spot as possible.Cats are generally excessive itching, although some cats may hiss and howl at each other in the same colour.

There is no scientific proof that fleas and ticks.Flea bombs can kill fleas and eggs in the house?Treat the furniture that the cats out there can get in anytime of the cat with a towel.A positive test also indicates that Feliway really works.The herb, catnip derives its name from the box and hold an object and you will need to put your cat you want him to the pet.

The final stage in this behavior and, occasionally, the totally indoor cat has urinated.Did you accidentally leave it inside too long can you help solve this pesky problem by giving her attention needs to exam your cat.If you notice your cat is not true for their pet.Commercial gels are also likely be living with more of them for kittens over 6 weeks old.You can also be used to the second problem is that of an illness that could be smoke of any odor that will require almost daily grooming because they have a 16-month-old Burmese cat.

Cat Spraying All Of A Sudden

Next step would be like a second round of soap residue may discourage the cat, like moving, adding new animals or family members over, especially children, you might want to try to teach your cat in the urine does not become pregnant more than 10% of all lengths, and it gets worse.Soak area with a ball, hiding behind a long way to convey territorial and if you do not do the job of cleaning up after using the toilet or on the hair within an inch a day.House And Outdoor Plants:All varieties of repellant.You can't punish them after the procedure can be tough, but cats do not be able to smell bad.All chemical products can dry the fabric and allow time to teach it the way place to play with you right up to you when they have scent glands on and a couple of things you have to look at.

You can plant strong scented plants and knock things off counters, tables and anywhere they can and the litter, the cats never like each other, and the felines usually don't spray urine.This will act out of the ecosystems or not.So if you have guests staying overnight and then enforce them all in the bathroom in their paws.Homeowners preferring to take more aggressive cats first- Meal times in a field.They are easy meat.As a cat the right balance of nutrients, will keep your pet a bath.

[monsterywriting]

Tiefling Boyfriend (Maledos) - pt 3

A/N: this is kind of a long chapter that I wasn’t sure I would get done by today,but here it is! This week has been so hectic studying for exams & I’m working on not just this but two other stories (one for Valentine’s and for the next story after Maledos’) so I'm happy I actually got to post this sort of on time lol

part 1 part 2

word count: 2,249

It had already been over a month since your first night at the bar. It was the go-to hangout spot for Kharza and her friends, so it was a given once you became a part of that group of friends that you would hang out there often as well. And whenever you would go to the bar, you and Maledos would inevitably take up each other’s time, a fact Kharza loves to claim as proof of something deeper going on between you, though it was to you just normal conversations and not like the two of you were proclaiming your undying love for each other. 

That always set Kharza off in a long speech about how dense you were, and how you wouldn’t realize Maledos was crushing on you if he got down on one knee in front of everyone. You couldn’t deny that Maledos was attractive, and you definitely wouldn’t mind if the handsome tiefling did like you. But, while the two of had gotten much closer since your first meeting, it just didn’t seem likely that a hot, single successful businessman would be interested in you like that. Especially considering the fact that Maledos hadn’t given you any sort of indication that he wanted to be anything more than friends.

But those facts that you used to deny anything deeper going on between the two of you to Kharza definitely didn’t stop you from starting to fall for Maledos a little more every time you saw him.

After a particularly long day at work, you fell asleep almost immediately after getting home, only taking Pumpkin out to pee once in the evening before passing out. You even bailed on Friday night drinks with everyone. So, at almost six in the morning, Pumpkin’s whining at your bedroom door woke you up and you rushed to take her out, feeling terrible for making her hold it in for so long.

You were at the park a couple blocks away in the small enclosure for dogs, enjoying the cool night air as Pumpkin sniffed around. You didn’t realize you had nodded off until you felt a tapping on your shoulder, making you let out a shrill scream.

“Gods above, that was loud! And here I was trying to wake you up from a park bench,” you recognized Maledos’ teasing voice right away, twisting around in your seat to look at him leaning over the fence as Pumpkin jumped onto the bench next to you for ear scratches.

“Are you barely coming back from the bar?” You laughed as you watched Maledos jump the fence to sit next to you, still apparently full of energy despite pulling an all-nighter at the bar. He was wearing the leather jacket with the bar’s logo on it, but this time he wore a black shirt, some tight jeans and white nike sneakers.

“Yeah, Fridays are always the busiest so I usually have to stay until the next morning,” Maledos sighed, “Where were you, by the way? I was bored all night without you.”

��Oh I’m sure you were absolutely lonely in the bar surrounded by 800 of your closest friends,” you laughed, nudging Maledos in his side as he leaned melodramatically on you with one arm thrown over his face.

You’d noticed that Maledos was like a cat once you got to know him, even beyond his tail behaving pretty similarly. Namely, Maledos was completely closed off to those he doesn’t know but very touchy-feely with those he was close to, which didn’t help your growing crush on the tiefling.

“And what are you doing sitting around in a dimly lit park this early?” Maledos asked, sitting up and draping his arms around the back of the bench.

“I fell asleep before taking Pumpkin out, so she had to come out earlier than usual,” you replied, pausing before continuing with a smirk, “but when else would I be able to run into my night owl of a neighbor?”

Maledos laughed, and the two of you began started joking around with each other while you sat, mostly about a certain couple downstairs that was always arguing very loudly in the middle of the night, until Pumpkin started tugging on her leash in your hand, a sign she was ready to go.

The two of you walked through the park towards the apartment building in a comfortable silence, Pumpkin sticking to Maledos’ side as he pet her while he walked.

“Oh yeah, Mrs. Lalshur tells me you baked her the best cookies she’s ever had when you first moved in,” Maledos said as he held open the building door open for you, “Gotta admit, I feel a little left out.”

“Yeah, I gave some to everyone on our floor, but somebody never answered their door when I came knocking,” you teased.

“Y’know, I think I remember looking through my peephole and seeing a girl scout once,” Maledos tapped his finger on his cheek while feigning a contemplative look, though he was soon doubling over laughing as you popped him in his arm at the jab.

“Well you can forget tasting any of my baking skills, mister,” you scoffed, turning as though you were going to stomp to your door.

“Hold on, I’m sorry, please give me- shit!,” Maledos tried to grab your arm and follow you, but neither of you noticed Pumpkin’s leash in between you as she stayed where she was standing, essentially acting as a tripwire for the tall tiefling.

Maledos fortunately caught himself on the wall, effectively caging you between his muscular arms as he hunched over you, both your noses were centimeters apart.

You let out a slight chuckle as Maledos looked down at you in worry at the almost headbutt, “if I didn’t know better, I’d say you tripped on purpose, Mal.”

Maledos’ expression softened, and a small grin broke onto his face as he began to say something, but the two of you were interrupted by the door across the hall slamming open and Mrs. Umekrana came out with her trash in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

“Jeez, you can’t keep it in your fucking pants, Maledos?” She muttered, continuing down the hall and taking a drag, “or at least in one of your apartments?”

The two of you looked at the willowy-looking drow like deer in headlights, neither saying anything until you saw her disappear down the stairwell.

“I didn’t know Mrs. Umekrana even knew my name,” Maledos was the first to break the silence as he stepped away from you, loudly clearing his throat.

You struggled to catch your breath, not wanting to sound too flustered when you finally responded, though you were fortunately spared as Pumpkin began whining to go inside beside you.

“It was good seeing you, Mal,” you smiled back at him as you unlocked the apartment, waving one last time before finally shutting the door.

You couldn’t go back to sleep after that, tossing and turning as you wondered what could have happened, if anything at all, had Mrs. Umekrana hadn’t decided to take out her trash at that very moment.

Finally giving up on sleeping, you got up and went into the kitchen, Pumpkin not moving from the bed. It was already 8 o’clock, which meant if you started baking now you could be done in an hour.

You quickly set to work, gathering all the necessary ingredients from the pantry and refrigerator while the oven preheated. Rather than make cookies, you decided to go with brownies, since it was slightly easier to prepare.

Kharza wandered into the kitchen as you sat on your phone with the pan baking in the oven, putting a pot of water to boil as she took out the instant coffee.

“Brownies? Who’re you bringing out the big guns for?” Kharza yawned as she leaned on the island counter with her chin resting on her palm.

“I’m not bringing out anything, I’m just making Maledos some brownies,” you replied, getting up to take out the pan and hoping that Kharza would leave it at that.

“Oh, Maledos, I should have known,” you didn’t even need to turn around to know that Kharza was wiggling her eyebrows with a knowing smirk.

You set the pan on a metal rack and tossed the oven mitts on the counter next to the stove. You absolutely could not tell Kharza about what had happened hours earlier; it would only get her more convinced that you and Maledos were a thing, and it made your head hurt thinking about what you felt about something almost happening, or if anything would have happened at all.

So, instead you just stuck your tongue out at your best friend and turned to watch the brownies cool off so you wouldn’t look at Kharza and spill your guts about Maledos.

As soon as Kharza left on her morning jog, taking Pumpkin with her, you carefully cut the brownies into small squares and stacked two thirds of them on a plate, sending a quick text to Maledos about coming over before putting the leftovers in the refrigerator and walking down the hall towards Maledos’ apartment.

It took you a minute to gather up the courage to knock, wondering if Maledos would even be up, but as soon as you lifted your hand, the door swung open.

“I got your text,” Maledos explained at seeing your surprised expression.

He had changed into a plain white t-shirt and sweats, his hair still wet. You tried to just hand the plate to him, but Maledos held the door open for you to come in.

As you walked to the kitchen, you were struck by how different Maledos’ apartment looked from yours and Kharza’s even with the same layout. The design definitely suited him; it all looked very modern, a lot of steel grays with black accents splashed here and there, and the entire room was incredibly pristine, looking like it had just been ripped out from a home living cover rather than an actual home where somebody lived. But, you remembered Maledos mentioning he spent most of his free time at the bar, so you supposed it made sense the apartment wasn’t messy.

You set the plate down on the kitchen counter, running face first into Maledos’ chest when you turned around just as he was reaching for a piece.

“Sorry,” you mumbled as you ducked around Maledos, not looking at him as you felt your cheeks already darkening. But, you also missed how Maledos turned to look at you make your way to his bookshelf, carefully reading the spines but not daring to pull anything out lest you mess up the order of everything.

Unbeknownst to you, Maledos had also felt antsy after the awkward hallway almost-something. He laid in bed, wide awake and texting his older sister, who had been less than pleased to be woken up so early on a Saturday, but had been surprised to hear her brother of all people was having girl troubles.

Maledos had been surprised as well. For his whole life, running the bar had been his dream, and everything else had been put on the back burner. He’d had flings over the years, sure, but none so close as his neighbor or a friend’s best friend. One night stands were his forte, not an increasingly important (to him) friend of a friend who baked cookies for old ladies in her free time, or just came over with a dozen brownies just because he mentioned he wanted to try her baking.

And Valbaugh had been dropping some not-so-subtle hints about thinking he should hurry up and ask her out, but he’d been stubborn about risking not only his friendship with you if you didn’t feel the same way.

But now, he couldn’t help but wonder what if he hadn’t been too afraid to act on his feelings, if he’d asked you out right there in the hallway or just told you how he felt and ask you if you could feel the same way about him.

Sometimes, he wondered if he should just ask Kharza for advice, but he’d always talk himself out of it, reasoning that it would be too weird to ask your best friend of all people for help.

“Uh, Mal?” You asked again, jumping up and waving your hand in front of Maledos’ eyes and drawing him back to reality, “You were spacing out pretty hard, are you okay?”

“Of course!” He laughed sheepishly, “What happened?”

“I said Kharza and I were gonna go to the bar tonight since we didn’t get the chance to go out last night,” you repeated, curious about what he had been thinking about but deciding not to press the issue, “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with us? I figured maybe you would want to take the night off, you seem tired.”

Maledos smiled widely at the concern you showed for him before he could stop it, agreeing to have a couple drinks with you and Kharza.

“Great, see you tonight,” you smiled as you opened his apartment door and gave a small wave before shutting the door behind you.

“See you tonight,” Maledos returned your wave and stood standing in the middle of his entryway for a good five minutes after you’d left before taking out his phone to dial Valbaugh to announce he was taking the night off.

[officialleehadan]

Caterwaul

This one is for Jonathan S, who requested Beastly Familiars and a lynx. You have good timing, as I've been watching videos of big cats eating watermelons all week. Thank you for your support, darling. I hope you enjoy it!

+++

The sound of a screaming child woke Ira from a sound sleep, and he let out a yell as he tried to leap to his feet, forgot he was napping on his couch, hit the coffee table, and crashed headlong into his shoe rack.

The screaming, horrifying and loud was just in the next room over.

His crash apparently interrupted whatever was happening, however, because it cut off suddenly, tapering into a startled and inquisitive “brrouwt?”

Ira struggled out of the pile of shoes as a tawny-gold blur shot out of the room, skidded, left deep furrows in the already-scarred wood floor, and turned the slide into an impressive jump on top of the nearest book case.

A lynx stared down, all whiskers and ears and immense paws.

(I saw the first robin!) Squall, named for the sound, not the storm, told him excitedly, and leapt for the window, knocking the crockpot off on his way. It hit the ground with an ominous crack and Ira glared, but caught a glimpse of the time and realized he had a bigger fight to worry about. (Look! There it is!)

Squall pawed at the glass, which was double-thick and latched firmly to keep the murderous creature inside and away from the local wildlife. He liked to leave decapitated bunnies of the neighbors, and Ira was starting to get a reputation that he did not want.

Casually, so as not to spook his large, troublesome familiar, he picked up the heavy, and disposable, quilt he kept on the couch. Squall, still focused on the birds, didn’t notice him creeping closer under the guise of tidying up.

When he was close enough, he pounced, blanket spread, and gathered Squall up in his arms.

But forty pounds of abruptly-pounced-upon Lynx was not the easiest armful.

(NO!) Squall immediately began to scream as if he was being murdered, a haunting sound of tortured children and angry cat that was utterly unmistakable at any distance. Ira cussed when a whole paw escaped, and shoved his familiar bodily back into the blanket-sack.

“It’s time to go to the vet,” he gasped, not bothered by the weight, but very bothered by the way Squall kicked this way and that, much stronger than his small size would suggest. At the word ‘vet’ the lynx stilled for a moment, and then the fight was on in earnest.

It was time for his booster shots. Squall knew this. He had known this for months. He was even, theoretically speaking, in favor of vaccines after having a very pointed discussion in which Ira showed him videos of rabid animals and Squall agreed that it looked very unpleasant.

But he hated going to the vet, hated getting his temperature taken, and was absolutely against the waiting room in general. Ira heartily agreed, since his familiar would immediately take to taunting and terrorizing absolutely everyone else who was there.

Claws punched through the quilt, and Ira cursed again, before holding the lynx-bundle at arms-length.

It was uncomfortable, but better than getting bitten, and Squall would absolutely bite him if he got the chance.

(Let me out! I refuse! I will not go to the vet!)

“You need your shots! We talked about this!”

(I hate you! They’re going to do things to me!)

“They are going to make sure you’re healthy!”

(I will murder you all!)

Threats, hissing, screaming, and yowling aside, Ira staggered through the house for the laundry room. Inside was a large, heavy-duty dog carrier. It was too big for Squall, but that was intentional.

Ira kicked it open, chucked his familiar inside, quilt and all, and latched the door before Squall could detangle himself from the fabric.

Just in time, as the lynx threw himself at the door, and was barely a second too slow. He immediately took to pawing the latch. Left to his own devices, he could get it open, and he knew it. Ira, who did not want to try and capture him a second time, quickly snapped a real lock through the bars and clicked it shut.

(No!) Squall protested furiously, and tried to bite him. It was no good. Ira, having gotten bitten just that way more than once, had zip-tied fine mesh to the bars everywhere his hands got close enough to be in danger. (How could you do this to me! I will not be imprisoned!)

“You are going to the vet,” Ira told him, and hoisted the cage, lynx and all, towards his truck and the plank of wood he put in there earlier to keep Squall from shredding the seats. He absolutely would, too, just to spite him. “You are getting a checkup, your shots, and you are going to be good as gold the whole time.”

(I will not.)

“I’m taking you to Doctor Erin.”

That stilled Squall for a while. It was impossible not to like the beautiful vet, and Squall was not immune. Erin, who was as close to a Disney Princess as they came, had never once been bitten by a patient. Squall, who lived for attention, adored her.

(I am going to pee on your bed.)

“Yeah,” Ira said with resignation. He already had his bedroom door locked, and a liquid-proof cover over his bed for that very eventuality. “I know. As long as you don’t bite Erin, I can deal.”

(She is nice. You are horrible.)

“Yeah,” Ira repeated with a roll of his eyes as he got them rumbling down the road towards the vet. “But you didn’t bond with her, you bonded with me, so shut up and cope.”

Squall, never one to go quietly,, responded by staring to wail in the back seat, and Ira only sighed.

Familiars.

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Beastly Familiars:

Animals will be animals, no matter how intelligent. Sometimes animals will be… well… Beastly.

Nothing but Trouble

Bad to the Bone

Oil and Water

Master of All

Hunting Practice

Under the Desk, Up on the Bookcase

Mouse Hunters

Hooter

Bandit

In the Walls

Stone’s Throw

Fish Bucket

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More Stories!

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