Having a Bad Day and started thinking about fictional characters and if they would kill someone for you or help you kill someone. Let's go.
Bruce Wayne
Will they commit murder for you? Absolutely not.
Will they help you commit murder? Absolutely not. In fact, if you and Bruce are friends before you commit murder, committing murder will destroy your friendship
Will they help you cover up a murder? I think he would not hinder an investigation but he would not go out of his way to provide evidence
Wade Wilson
Will they commit murder for you? Absolutely he will murder someone for you. Friends and family discount.
Will they help you commit murder? Oh for sure, Wade is helping you train to effectively commit murder
Will they help you cover up a murder? No, Wade is really bad at covering up crimes. He has very little practical knowledge on this
Damian Wayne (preferably like a young adult I don't want to ask a child to kill)
Will they commit murder for you? Yes he will absolutely kill someone for you. Wants to know how much he should drag it out
Will they help you commit murder? Would hesitate to help you kill someone but eventually decides he'd rather at least help you not get caught or also killed. Big 'well if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house' parent energy
Will they help you cover up a murder? Damian is absolutely going to help you cover it up. You will never even worry about being caught. Nobody even knows there's a crime scene. Might not even know the person was murdered. Damian has your back.
Cassandra Cain
Will they commit murder for you? Yes, Cass will kill for you. Don't be silly.
Will they help you commit murder? Doesn't really want to but will so you're not doing it alone
Will they help you cover up a murder? Yes, and INCREDIBLY well
Jason Todd
Will they commit murder for you? Yes yes a thousand times yes. If you ask nicely enough murder is Jason's love language. Asks for a list.
Will they help you commit murder? He'd prefer if you didn't but will help you train for it. Gotta improve that upper body strength, you're in no position to strangle someone right now.
Will they help you cover up a murder? SO HAPPY that you trust him enough to help with cleanup! Leaves an impeccable crime scene, IF you can even call it that because you wouldn't know by looking
Bucky Barnes
Will they commit murder for you? Requires a little convincing, but yes.
Will they help you commit murder? Will stand behind you as backup in case things go south
Will they help you cover up a murder? Murder? What murder? There's certainly no evidence of that around here.
Steve Rogers
Will they commit murder for you? Needs a lot of convincing. Less if it's someone who has personally harmed you. Doesn't like taking matters into his own hands but understands the system is broken
Will they help you commit murder? Yeah, but only if you're really convincing or it's someone who has hurt you specifically. Like, he'll do it, but not willy-nilly like Wade would.
Will they help you cover up a murder? He'd bitch but he'd do it, honestly happier helping you clean it up than doing it himself.
Din Djarin
Will they commit murder for you? It's literally his job. Yes, and he will do it for free, or in exchange for babysitting services
Will they help you commit murder? You can't frame it that way, you have to say it's for like self defense or something but yeah, will help you prepare and do the actual deed
Will they help you cover up a murder? He will heave long-suffering sighs the entire time but yes. Also won't let you do any of the heavy lifting.
Fennec Shand
Will they commit murder for you? Yes, absolutely. Will commit murder for you without you needing to ask
Will they help you commit murder? Would prefer you just leave it to her, but she gets it, sometimes revenge has to be served personally
Will they help you cover up a murder? An expert at making it not look like a murder.
Dick Grayson
Will they commit murder for you? Not really, no. It would take a lot of exposure to your trauma from the person/people you want him to kill and at that point I think he'd be so angry and disgusted he'd beat them to a pulp. Murder would be too fast.
Will they help you commit murder? Grudgingly. Keeps telling you about all the ways it could go wrong. Will feel guilty he couldn't stop you, unless he's at the overexposure to your trauma stage in which case he's more ambivalent. Mostly wants to make sure you don't hurt yourself more in the process.
Will they help you cover up a murder? Yes, and he will hate every minute of it. Wakes up in a cold sweat for a year after thinking you must have forgotten some evidence. Will probably call Jason for help, so you're fine.
Joel Miller
Will they commit murder for you? Post-fungus, absolutely. Will murder for you without you needing to ask. Pre-fungus, yeah. Don't think it would be premeditated but he would
Will they help you commit murder? Pre-fungus, only if it's a self-defense kind of thing (emotional self-defense as well), I don't see him doing anything with premeditated murder. Post-fungus, will help you just to make sure you don't get killed yourself. Will correct your technique. May score you.
Will they help you cover up a murder? Post-fungus, what's the point? Pre-fungus, abso-fuckin-loutly. He's a contractor, plenty of places to hide bodies. Tommy owes him so you won't need to do anything, don't you worry, sweetheart.
Han Solo
Will they commit murder for you? Yeah, if you ask nicely enough
Will they help you commit murder? Sure thing, just don't ask him to be bait
Will they help you cover up a murder? Yes, and he will do it very badly. You are definitely going to get caught except Han can outrun the cops
Barbara Gordon
Will they commit murder for you? No, not really. Maybe. She needs to think about it.
Will they help you commit murder? Tries to talk you out of it. Points out how she can ruin their life digitally. Will hack the government to get the person or people put in specific prisons
Will they help you cover up a murder? She's successfully convinced you to not murder someone. However IF for some reason murder WAS committed, it would be natural causes or just an unfortunate accident, nobody's fault that a computer glitch erased "deathly allergic to walnuts" from their file
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