#Carmy is the embodiment of this song

[afrofairysblog]

THE ACCURACY

i think that carmy being a much/eater, particularly with sydney, is deeply rooted in his character. with syd, he’s constantly trying to provide, give, and please her, sometimes to a fault. he provides the resources she needs to fulfill her dreams—he agrees to open a restaurant with her. he gives her that fucking thom browne jacket, promises to give her his full focus when she asks for it and tells her she deserves it. he’s striving for a star because he knows that would please her.

going down on someone embodies the very essence of providing, giving, and, of course, pleasing. it’s an act that requires selflessness, attention to detail, and a genuine desire to please. the dynamic between them is one that is built on pleasure. carmy loves pleasing her, all he wants to do is please her and make her happy and sydney wants to be pleased by him, wants to be seen and understood by him, wants to feel valued and appreciated by him—and they’re both at least a little aware of their respective desires. so he wants to give that her pleasure, knowing she wants to receive it.

so that being said, yes, carmy is a complete and total eater and he’d be so deliberate and attentive, completely focused syd’s comfort and her pleasure. he’d be mindful of her needs and desires—and yeah, he’d probably be a little too confident and not completely in tune with her at first, but he would take them time to learn and understand what brings her joy because at the end of the day he just wants to please her wether that is outside or inside of the bedroom.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Pearly Dewdrops-Drops

Hey, remember @currymanganese's post about the song from the last season when Claire and Carmy had their first kiss? It was "Can't Hardly Wait" by the Replacements.

Curry noticed that Fak was talking about the song with the contractor, and Sydney rolled her eyes at the conversation. It's a song played in the coming-of-age teen romcom Can't Harly Wait, in which the guy has a crush on this beautiful girl, and on his graduation day of senior year, he promises to confess his love.

In Episode 3x04 Violet, the song "Pearly Dewdrops-Drops" by Cocteau Twins sets the mood for a teenage romance scene that reminds of something you'd see on the CW, like in One Tree Hill. As Carmy and Claire whisper in the dark, Claire shares a story about a girl with scars who has yet to feel pain, echoing deeper themes of growth and healing (this girl was also a teenager, from what I can recall). This song was also featured in the film Perks of Being a Wallflower, which is about a teenager dealing with PTSD while finding friendship and love. In a way, this plot is similar to Carmy's journey as he grows up and grapples with his mental health.

Claire is embodies an idealized version of teenage love..

Also, when Fak gives Claire Carmy's number and expresses his love for the classic coming-of-age song "Can't Hardly Wait," it represents Fak as a symbol of Carmy's naive side @outmakingmoonshine post explains. Fak captures Carmy's teenage experience - he missed out on youthful experiences, where the teens' characters navigate pain, love, heartbreak, and joy.

Returning to Claire, her role in Carmy's journey suggests their relationship might not last. Claire's presence marks a point in Carmy's coming-of-age story, a journey of gaining experience since his life stopped and he never learned how to navigate relationships healthily.

Looking back on the music, it seems thoughtful in its use to move the narrative and provide a deeper understanding of the characters' inner worlds and growth. That's what season 3 was for me- it focused on the characters' inner life.

But all the music for Claire and Carmy includes heartbreak songs and 80s music, and there are references to coming-of-age movies like John Hughes' filmography.

I think the heavy references to coming-of-age stories show Claire's role in Carmy's life as more about his personal growth than a lasting romance.

Feel free to reply or reblog to discuss!

Tagging @moodyeucalyptus, @vacationship @brokenwinebox, @mitocamdria, @ambeauty, @yannaryartside if you are interested but no pressure!

[november-rising]

I grew up hearing an eclectic mix of music. A song I loved growing up made me think:

If The Bear could have been a musical for one single moment, Carmen in the walk-in embodies this. PLEASE NOTE: It’s not just the lyrics- it’s the guitar solo. Listen to it. That solo sounds like Carmy to me.

For your listening pleasure “I’m So Afraid” by Lindsey Buckingham (Fleetwood Mac)

https://youtu.be/6OrtLxsqSic?si=WgLPI4nH2pnoQsqU

Lyrics:

I been alone

All the years

So many ways to count the tears

I never change

I never will

I'm so afraid the way I feel

Days when the rain and the sun are gone

Black as night

Agony's torn at my heart too long

So afraid

Slip and I fall and I die

I been alone

Always down

No one cared to stay around

I never change

I never will

I'm so afraid the way I feel

Days when the rain and the sun are gone

Black as night

Agony's torn at my heart too long

So afraid

Slip and I fall and I die

How I feel

Days when the rain and the sun are gone

Black as night

Agony's torn at my heart too long

So afraid

Slip and I fall and I die

Again, listen to the guitar solo all the way through. I beg you.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

There's something about Sydney, the future, and running out of time.

In the past- time ran out when she had to finish making pasta for her lamb ragu, which was part of the demise of her career. 

When she's officially hired, there's the sign that the camera focuses on- A sense of urgency. Sydney enthusiastically embodies it when she comes up with a new dinner menu. While Carmy tells her it's not ready and to give him a minute, additionally, he reminds Sydney that he always has time for her.

Carmy tells Sydney that her employers call her incredibly impatient. Is this where Carmy comes in? We know that Sydney gives Carmy a sense of calm, I wonder if, in the future- Carmy will continue to give Sydney patience. 

I believe that's Sydney's mother in this picture. It's funny that it's edited for the song to play Don't Live in the Future when this is the last picture. It was mentioned before that Sydney could be putting her all into accomplishing something at her age because her mother couldn't. Does Sydney have a sense of urgency to live life to the fullest, wondering if there will be a future?

[yannaryartside]

THIS

Sometimes I wonder why I fell for sydcarmy as hard as I did. And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that this are (alongside the rest of the cast) some of the most realistic/complex characters I have seen on media for a while, specially talking about romance. In most romantic movies character seem to be reduced to tropes in order to sell that besides this one character flaw love can conquer all.

But both Syd and Carmy have insecurities and issues that are obstacles to them getting closer, and because most of us are blind to our own flaws, or a way to get rid of them, the obstacles persevere.

They also embody the phrase “never knew what I needed” because I think in Carmy’s mind, he always wanted this easy relationship he has with Claire, thinking it would cure all his issues, but he still has anxiety around her. What he needs is mutual connection and understanding, and Syd offers other things, like responsibility and self-belief. They have a secure bond, and that is the reason (I think) she calms his panic attacks.

Then you have Syd, who wants a partner who can support her and collaborate with her. Excellent. But she also needs a reason to go over the walks she has created around herself, she needs to open up, with enough be live in herself to know that it won't kill her this time (the broken heart tattoo).

Insert prince and the frog song here

“You are the best thing I never knew I needed”

do you ever think about how sydcarmy have never even dated yet their relationship is a much more realistic take on what a (romantic) relationship is? sydcarmy have conflict! they have disagreements! while claire and carmen have about as much fire between them as a fucking iceberg… it all feels so “safe” and surface level with them. 😭

[hourglassfish]

I really love your account and your thoughts on the bear!

I really struggle with this discourse around romantic, platonic and sexual love within the bear, and between Syd and Carmy. I feel like it reveals a lot of the limits we place on 'love' as a concept, but also on how we understand Black women in culture.

Cus like - let's get it out the way - would we need to keep making this point if she was a white woman? Swap her and Molly Gordon around, watch the conversation change overnight! I feel compelled to defend the sydcarmy ship, because so much of what people say is Mammification 101, and the platonic soulmate feels like the embodiment the cultural idea imposed on Black women for centuries. I have been that person. It did me so much harm. Never again! (I am bemused that people find it inconceivable that these two hot, passionate, intense people, engaged in the deeply erotic work of feeding those around them and pushing their bodies to their physical limits might want to fuck. ESPECIALLY when they are framed the way they are. It's all extremely romantic and sexual, the more I watch them together under that table the worse it gets)

But on the other hand, I believe, deeply, that western cultures, particularly the heteropatriachal white ones, do not have enough language for all the kinds of love there are, and that it impoverishes us all spiritually. Because I don't believe those acts of love can or should or are restricted to the role of wife or romantic lover. They're defo not in queer frameworks - Alok V Menon writes beautifully about romantic friendship -

'i want a world where friendship is appreciated as a form of romance. i want a world where when people ask if we are seeing anyone we can list the names of all of our best friends and no one will bat an eyelid. i want monuments and holidays and certificates and ceremonies to commemorate friendship. i want a world that doesn't require us to be in a sexual/romantic partnership to be seen as mature (let alone complete). i want a movement that fights for all forms of relationships, not just the sexual ones. i want thousands of songs and movies and poems about the intimacy between friends. i want a world where our worth isn't linked to our desireability, our security to our monogamy, our family to our biology.'

and also -

'Friendship is the most sacred form of love. Home is less a physical location, more a good conversation with a friend. Take me there: the opposite of small talk. Romantic love is fickle and prone to spontaneous combustion. Friendship, it sticks. Keeps my feet on this earth. My head held high. Reminds me why I’m here.'

Donna Haraway speaks very explicitly about the love that exists between people that build something together, how deep and absorbing that can be - and I have felt and experienced that love, built a company with someone who became a friend, held hands as we walked to meetings we were nervous about, shared beds when we couldn't afford more than one hotel room at a conference, noticed we were finishing each others sentences, dressing similarly, building a shared philosophy as we funnelled huge amounts of ourselves into this thing we were building together that meant so much to and for us. There were moments where we were possessive and jealous of one another, we knew each other's families, she saw me at my very, very worst. I think that relationship was deeply loving, deeply intimate, deeply romantic in many ways - she came over once at 3 in the morning to make me mac and cheese. Her fiancee dropped her off! When we stopped working together, it was like a break up, and I grieved it, and there was no space for that grief, because the depth of that love isn't recognised in the society. So much of heteropatriarchy runs on the notion that there is one special person that will fulfill if not all, then at least the vast majority of our needs - but I don't think this is true, I think it's a myth that actively fucks us all over. It makes life cold and terrifying when you're single, and it can trap you in bad relationships if you fear they're going to be the only source of care. I think we can tesselate with one another in limitless ways, and that the exchange can be all sorts of things. There is a version of sydcarmy where their loving exchange is one where they both help each other come to terms with the respective griefs around their mothers, where Sydney supports Carmy in learning how to be a leader with the mental health presentations he has, and he supports her in her journey to a Michelin star, where they both figure out a model more like Kasama's (open 5 days a week for lunch service, 4 days a week for dinner service, with space to have a life), where together they make this massive chunk of their lives pleasurable. It could be one of the most meaningful, transformative relationships of their respective lives - and they can have other romantic and sexual loves outside of that, and it doesn't have to be an envious either or, or an abject extraction of labour. It can be a love of it's own.

that being said.

they should fuck

😉

“platonic soulmate” sounds, to me, an awful lot like doing all the work of being someone’s wife and then not getting all the benefits - someone to hold you when you’re sad or sick or just need a cuddle, someone to do half the chores, someone who makes you feel special, makes you laugh, takes care of you, listens to you and takes your feelings seriously, who takes your side, who puts the time and effort and love in to learn to fuck you just right

i’m not sure how it’s more “feminist” and “pure” to imagine a woman getting a raw deal like that. or why another man or woman (if she’s queer) would put up with her giving all of that wife-y care and time and passion (for minimum 14-16+ hours out of 24, six days a week) and energy away to a “platonic soulmate”

how is that more feminist than a woman wanting and then getting what she wants and all the pleasures and costs that come with it? why is only paying the cost and not getting the full deal inherently purer?

anyway here’s Wonderwall Sappho (translated by Anne Carson)

because I prayed this word: I want