Heron by Carl Olsson
Arrangement
Heron of Alexandria invented a mechanical theatre. 1900 years later, I have created a hydraulic successor and with it I have given Heron over to his torture.
In short, I have arranged a device for the compression of birds.
There is in this machine a relative of the egret. Every time I peer into my garden, I see the retracted neck atop its pedestal.
According to the instructions that should have been passed down from Heron (but were not), to arrange an automatic theatre one needs a tight latex suit and a ball gag – one with repurposed breathing holes.
Heron never managed to write this, but I can write it now:
Let there be wine and white milk spurting out of the beak and mix in a pool below for others to ingest.
This takes place as follows: Two small pipes are attached beneath the bird’s feet, protruding from two holes in the surface of the pedestal. Let the pipes extend upward, past the folded legs, into the latex integument and through the cavities of the bird with their openings attached to inward face of the ball. Wine and milk is pressured through these pipes to pour out of the gaping beak.
The automaton takes is driven by the movements of the body inside the latex integument whose energy it harnesses to power the action of a pump.
About the movement of the theatre, Heron should have written that the pedestal slides back and forth on a rail, pulled by knotted ropes drenched in oil. And I say now in addition, let the inside of the latex integument also be covered in a generous amount of oil. That is, behind the latex there is a need for lubrication, though I must add that it should never be so much as to spill behind the gag, for that is the domain of the two pipes that exude wine and white milk and it may not be contaminated by any other liquids. The innermost space must thus be parched aside from wine and white milk (one might devise a motorized pump to extract bodily effluvia in the opposite direction (these are to be discarded and never seen by any audience)).
Against an arrangement such as the one described here the first threat is a rapid expansion of the compressed state. Although the relative of the egret has come to enjoy its situation with time (or has at least accepted it), until then the threat of uncontrolled expansion remained very serious. To avoid it, I used to stand for a time in the garden and examine my hydraulic display on a daily basis. I still polish its exterior and add oil when it is needed but with far less urgency. That way, the arrangement can be maintained for a long time and I will not grow bored of its appearance.
Principles of sympathetic torture
Heron of Alexandria was a first-century mathematician, inventor and the author of numerous technical manuscripts including two treatises on the construction of automata. An automaton in the relevant sense is a mechanical imitation of life. Ancient and medieval automata were spectacular instruments of wonder, built to bedazzle foreign envoys and royalty.
My hydraulic Heron owes its existence to a German by the name of Moritz Schreber. In the middle of the 19th century, Schreber brought the history of automata to its virtual termination by creating various contraptions that reduced human children to little engines. His machines were built to be moved by children and to move the children in turn. Whereas an automaton mimics life, life now came to mimic the machine. So rather than remedying newborn bodies maligned by the overcrowded cities of the industrial age, which was Schreber’s official motivation for building his contraptions, he unwittingly short-circuited the distinction between animal and machine by giving purposeless labor its proper purpose in augmenting purposelessness. The history of the automaton really ends at the modern gym, where it becomes a tributary to the history of corporeal punishment or gratuitous torture.
A still unmentioned fact is that the arrangement with the relative of the egret described above was recorded with a hundred chameleons attached to the surrounding walls with duct tape. I did not mention it because such pictures never last for long and for fear of compromising the secrecy that is absolutely indispensable for constructing automata today.
But now that it is done and Truth has fallen on the history of Heron’s mechanical theatre, I can divulge its essential principles with perfect clarity.
The first principle completes the history of automata by inverting it, turning it back against life. The mechanical theatre with the hydraulic Heron is more than an image of life, it is life broken into an image of life as it reaches the high-point of second-order mimicry. Schreber, on his part, went just this far.
The second principle is shared with sympathetic magic.
Belief in magic is not required to appreciate the hydraulic Heron. On the contrary, it is magic which relies on the affinity of apophenia and the psyche, the innate tendency to believe that an image and its likeness really belong together.
Today no one can believe in the psyche, in consciousness, in magic or in anything like that.
All that remains after these ghosts were eliminated from our shared vocabulary are the formal rules of correspondence and association, capable of cutting across time. These rules are real.
This is to say
That
The first principle operates through the second principle;
That
The history of the automaton is completed through an inversion that mimics the mimesis of life in the sense that it reenacts, and therefore undercuts, the act of connecting Like to Like.
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Requests
People I Write For :
Stranger Things
El Hopper (fem, gn, male)
Max Mayfield (fem, gn, male)
Dustin Henderson (fem, gn)
Will Byers (gn, male)
Lucas Sinclaire (fem, gn, male)
Mike Wheeler (fem, gn, male)
Steve Harrington (fem, gn, male)
Nancy Wheeler (fem, gn, male)
Eddie Munson (fem, gn, male)
Robin Buckley (fem, gn)
Billy Hargrove (fem, gn)
Scream
Sidney Prescott (fem, gn, male)
Randy Meeks (fem, gn)
Tatem Riley (fem, gn male)
Stu Macher (fem, gn)
Billy Loomis (fem, gn)
Derek Feldman (fem, gn)
Mark Kincaid (fem, gn)
Kirby Reed (fem, gn, male)
Marnie Cooper (fem, gn, male)
Amber Freeman (fem, gn, male)
Chad Meeks-Martin (fem, gn)
Mindy Meeks-Martin (fem, gn)
Wes Hicks (fem, gn)
Tara Carpenter (fem, gn, male)
Sam Carpenter *Loomis* (fem, gn, male)
Liv McKenzie (fem, gn, male)
Anika Kayoko (fem, gn)
Danny Brackett (fem, gn)
Ethan Landry (fem, gn)
Outer Banks
Rafe Cameron (fem, gn)
JJ Maybank (fem, gn)
Pope (fem, gn)
Kiara (fem, gn, male)
Cleo (fem, gn, male)
Shameless
Carl Gallagher (fem, gn)
Ian Gallagher (fem, gn, male)
Fiona Gallagher (fem, gn, male)
Debbie Gallagher (fem, gn, male)
Liam Gallagher *aged up* (fem, gn)
NCIS
Tim McGee (fem, gn)
Tony DiNozzo (fem, gn)
Gibbs (fem, gn)
Jimmy Palmer (fem, gn)
Abby Scuito (fem, gn, male)
Ziva David (fem, gn, male)
Caitlin Todd (fem, gn, male)
Greenhouse Academy
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Leo Cruz (fem, gn)
Alex Woods (fem, gn)
Brooke Osmand (fem, gn, male)
Max Miller (fem, gn)
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Daniel Hayward (fem, gn)
Parker Grant (fem, gn)
Jackie Sanders (fem, gn, male)
Ryan Woods *young* (fem, gn, male)
Fuller House
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Jesse Katsopolis *young and old* (fem, gn)
Ramona Gibbler (fem, gn, male)
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Steve Hale *young and old* (fem, gn)
Jackson Fuller (fem, gn)
Jimmy Gibbler (fem, gn)
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Marcus Baker (fem, gn)
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Norah (gn, male)
Padma (gn, male)
Matt Press (fem, gn)
Joe (fem, gn)
Jordan (fem, gn)
Heartstopper
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Nick Nelson (fem, gn, male)
Elle Argent (fem, gn, male)
Darcy Olsson (fem, gn)
Tara Jones (fem, gn)
Tao Xu (fem, gn)
Imogen Heaney (gn, male)
Isaac Henderson (fem, gn, male)
Anne with an E
Gilbert Blythe (fem, gn)
Anne Shirley-Cuthbert (fem, gn, male)
Diana Barry (gn, male)
Jerry Baynard (fem, gn)
Cole Mackenzie (fem, gn, male)
Sebastian Lacroix (fem, gn)
Billy Andrews (fem, gn)
Charlie Sloane (fem, gn)
Nate (fem, gn)
Prissy Andrews (fem, gn, male)
To All the Boys I've Loved Before
John Ambrose (fem, gn)
Josh (fem, gn)
Peter Kavinsky (fem, gn)
Lucas (gn, male)
Gen (fem, gn, male)
Chris *Christine* (fem, gn, male)
Julie and the Phantoms
Julie (fem, gn, male)
Luke Patterson (fem, gn)
Alex (gn, male)
Reggie (fem, gn)
Nick (fem, gn)
Flynn (fem, gn, male)
Willie (gn, male)
IT (Chapter 1 + 2)
Stanley Uris (fem, gn, male)
Richie Tozier (fem, gn, male)
Eddie Kaspbrak (fem, gn, male)
Beverly Marsh (fem, gn, male)
Ben Hanscom (fem, gn)
Mike Hanlon (fem, gn)
Bill Denbrough (fem, gn, male)
Henry Bowers (fem, gn)
Belch Huggins *Reggie* (fem, gn)
Patrick Hockstetter (fem, gn)
Victor Criss (fem, gn)
I Am Not Okay With This
Sydney Novak (fem, gn, male)
Stanley Barber (fem, gn, male)
Enola Holmes
Enola Holmes (fem, gn, male)
Tewksbury (fem, gn)
Sherlock Holmes (fem, gn)
The Kissing Booth
Noah Flynn (fem, gn)
Lee Flynn (fem, gn)
Marco Peña (fem, gn)
The Imperfects
Tilda Webber (fem, gn, male)
Abbi Singh (fem, gn, male)
Juan Ruiz (fem, gn)
Sydney Burke (fem, gn, male)
P.J. (fem, gn)
Malibu Rescue
Tyler (fem, gn)
Dylan (fem, gn, male)
Lizzy (fem, gn, male)
Gina (fem, gn, male)
Eric (fem, gn)
The Package
Sean Floyd (fem, gn, male)
Sarah (fem, gn, male)
Becky Abelar (fem, gn, male)
Purple Hearts
Cassie Salazar (fem, gn, male)
Luke Morrow (fem, gn)
Frankie (fem, gn)
Armando (fem, gn)
Riley (fem, gn, male)
Wednesday
Wednesday Adams (fem, gn, male)
Xavier Thorpe (fem, gn)
Enid Sinclair (fem, gn, male)
Tyler Galpin (fem, gn)
Rowan Laslow (fem, gn, male)
Lucas Walker (fem, gn)
Ajax Petropolus (fem, gn)
Heartbreak High
Spencer White *Spider* (fem, gn)
Anthony Vaughn *Ant* (fem, gn, male)
Darren Rivers (gn, male)
Amerie Wadia (gn, male)
Quinn Gallagher-Jones *Quinni* (fem, gn)
Dustin Reid *Dusty* (fem, gn)
Harper McLean (fem, gn, male)
Douglas Piggott *Ca$h* (fem, gn, male)
Malakai Mitchell (fem, gn, male)
Hype House (All time)
Vinnie Hacker (fem, gn)
Taylor Holder (fem, gn)
Jack Wright (fem, gn, male)
Jett (fem, gn, male)
Barron Sho (fem, gn)
Ryland (fem, gn)
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Harry Potter (fem, gn)
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George Weasley (fem, gn)
Fred Weasley (fem, gn)
Bill Weasley (fem, gn)
Charlie Weasley (fem, gn)
Percy Weasley (fem, gn)
Ginny Weasley (fem, gn, male)
Mattheo Riddle (fem, gn)
Theodore Nott (fem, gn)
Dean Thomas (fem, gn)
Lee Jordan ( fem, gn, male)
Seamas Finnigan (fem, gn, male)
Pansy Parkinson (fem, gn, male)
Lorenzo Berkshire (fem, gn)
Tom Riddle *not Voldemort* (fem, gn)
Blaise Zabini (fem, gn)
Luna Lovegood (fem, gn, male)
Regulus Black *young* (fem, gn, male)
Sirius Black *young* (fem, gn, male)
Remus Lupin *young* (fem, gn, male)
James Potter *young* (fem, gn, male)
Lily Potter *young* (fem, gn, male)
Nymphadora Tonks (fem, gn, male)
Narcissa Malfoy *young and old* (fem, gn, male)
Fantastic Beasts
Newt Scammander (fem, gn)
Queenie Goldstein (fem, gn, male)
Credence Barebone (fem, gn, male)
Theseus Scammander (fem, gn)
The Black Phone
Vance Hopper (fem, gn)
Finney Blake (fem, gn)
Gwenny Blake *aged up* (fem, gn, male)
Robin Arellano (fem, gn)
Bruce Yamada (fem, gn)
Billy Showalter (fem, gn)
10 Things I Hate About You
Kat Stratford (fem, gn, male)
Cameron James (fem, gn)
Bianca Stratford (fem, gn, male)
Patrick Verona (fem, gn)
Michael (fem, gn, male)
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
Jacob Portman (fem, gn, male)
Emma Bloom (fem, gn, male)
Alma Peregrine (fem, gn, male)
Enoch O'Connor (fem, gn)
Victor Bruntley *alive* (fem, gn)
Olive Abroholos Elephanta (fem, gn, male)
Millard Nullings (fem, gn, male)
Horace (fem, gn male)
Fiona *aged up* (fem, gn, male)
Bronwyn Bruntley *aged up* (fem, gn, male)
Hugh (fem, gn, male)
Sturniolo Triplets
Matt Sturniolo (fem, gn)
Chris Sturniolo (fem, gn)
Nick Sturniolo (gn, male)
Titanic
Rose Dewitt Bukater (fem, gn, male)
Jack Dawson (fem, gn, male)
A Quiet Place
Marcus (fem, gn, male)
Evelyn (fem, gn, male)
Regan (fem, gn, male)
Lee (fem, gn)
The Office
Jim Halpert (fem, gn)
Dwight Shrute (fem, gn, male)
Pam Beesley (fem, gn, male)
Five Feet Apart
Stella (fem, gn, male)
Poe Ramirez (gn, male)
Will (fem, gn)
Celebs/Influencers
That I don't already have as characters (cuz I write for the haracter and the actor)
Nils Kuesel (fem, gn, male)
Jack Harlow (fem, gn)
Dua Lipa (fem, gn, male)
Olivia Rodrigo (fem, gn, male)
Jenna Ortega (fem, gn, male)
Dove Cameron (fem, gn, male)
Benjamin Wadsworth (fem, gn)
Girl Meets World
Farkle Minkus (fem, gn, male)
Riley Matthews (fem, gn, male)
Maya Hart (fem, gn, male)
Lucas Friar (fem, gn)
Isaiah Babineaux (fem, gn)
Isadora Smackle (fem, gn, male)
Auggie Matthews *aged up* (fem, gn)
Josh Matthews (fem, gn)
Boy Meets World
Shawn Hunter (fem, gn)
Eric Matthews (fem, gn, male)
Cory Matthews (fem, gn)
Topanga Lawrance (fem, gn, male)
Jack (fem, gn, male)
The Notebook
The Breakfast Club
Barbie
She's the Man
Duke Orsino (fem, gn)
Hazbin Hotel
How to Request :
Make sure to state what you would like in the imagine/story and what genre (?) Like angst, fluff, smut (sometimes). Also what character or person you would want in the imagine. 🙃
*Disclaimer*
I write for all of these characters and their actors and if you have someone else you would want me to write for be sure to put that in your request these are just the characters I could think of off the top of my head
P.S. I also do some ship imagines like Nick x Charlie (heartstopper), etc. So if you want ship imagines be sure to send them in and I will try and get to them.
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HERE IS MY MUCH LATE STARTER CALL XD This is for after the event!!!
MASTER STARTER CALL!!!
This is for after the event, since I know a lot of folks dropped posts and some of my muses are unaware now!!! Please react with as many people as you want, because they all need new stuff too!!!!
Dan Humphrey (GG)
Joel Miller (TLOU) (UNAWARE)
Luca Prago (Luca) (UNAWARE)
The Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)
Olaf (Disney)
Beth Corcoran (Glee) (UNAWARE)
Jesse St. James (Glee) (UNAWARE)
Zed Necrodopolis (ZOMBIES)
Edwina Sharma (Bridgerton)
Riley Matthews (GMW)
Prince Henry (RWRB)
Ivan Carvalho (Elite)
Reggie Peters (JATP)
Jake Wheeler (Chucky)
Derek Hale (Teen Wolf)
Ambrose Spellman (CAOS)
Enid Sinclair (Wednesday)
Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet)
Lillian Deville (Rugrats)
Chishiya Shuntaro (Alice in Borderland)
Gabriel Boutin (Half Bad) (UNAWARE)
Maria Vasquez (West Side Story)
Katherine Pierce (TVD)
Simon Spier (Love, Simon)
Nick Nelson (Heartstopper)
Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
Matthew Murdock (Marvel)
Harry Hook (Descendants)
T.J Kippen (Andi Mack)
Max Mayfield (Stranger Things)
Richie Tozier (IT)
T.K Strand (911 Lone Star)
Evan Buckley (911)
Max Baker (Ginny and Georgia)
Marco Del Rossi (Degrassi)
Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice)
Athena Nash (911)
Carl Grimes (TWD)
Ambrosius Goldenloin (Nimona)
Chris Argent (Teen Wolf) (UNAWARE)
Lily Tucker-Pritchett (Modern Family)
Maddie Fitzpatrick (Suite Life) (UNAWARE)
Needy Lesnicki (Jennifer’s Body)
Blaine Anderson (Glee)
Josh Washington (Until Dawn)
Mickey Milkovich (Shameless) (UNAWARE)
Olivia Valdovinos (Pink Ladies) (UNAWARE)
Vox (Hazbin Hotel)
Shaggy Rogers (Scooby Doo)
Darcy Olsson (Heartstopper)
Gretchen Wieners (Mean Girls) (UNAWARE)
Verosika Mayday (Helluva Boss)
Kronk (Emperoer’s New Groove)
Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)
Alexander Lightwood (Shadowhunters) (UNAWARE)
Emily Fitch (SKINS UK)
Zim (Invader Zim)
Phillipa Featherington (Bridgerton)
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