#Canny Tim | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mostlysignssomeportents · 1 month ago

Text

“The Fagin figure leading Elon Musk’s merry band of pubescent sovereignty pickpockets”

This week only, Barnes and Noble is offering 25% off pre-orders of my forthcoming novel Picks and Shovels. ENDS TODAY!.

While we truly live in an age of ascendant monsters who have hijacked our country, our economy, and our imaginations, there is one consolation: the small cohort of brilliant, driven writers who have these monsters' number, and will share it with us. Writers like Maureen Tkacik:

https://prospect.org/topics/maureen-tkacik/

Journalists like Wired's Vittoria Elliott, Leah Feiger, and Tim Marchman are absolutely crushing it when it comes to Musk's DOGE coup:

https://www.wired.com/author/vittoria-elliott/

And Nathan Tankus is doing incredible work all on his own, just blasting out scoop after scoop:

https://www.crisesnotes.com/

But for me, it was Tkacik – as usual – in the pages of The American Prospect who pulled it all together in a way that finally made it make sense, transforming the blitzkreig Muskian chaos into a recognizable playbook. While most of the coverage of Musk's wrecking crew has focused on the broccoli-haired Gen Z brownshirts who are wilding through the server rooms at giant, critical government agencies, Tkacik homes in on their boss, Tom Krause, whom she memorably dubs "the Fagin figure leading Elon Musk’s merry band of pubescent sovereignty pickpockets" (I told you she was a great writer!):

https://prospect.org/power/2025-02-06-private-equity-hatchet-man-leading-lost-boys-of-doge/

Krause is a private equity looter. He's the guy who basically invented the playbook for PE takeovers of large tech companies, from Broadcom to Citrix to VMWare, converting their businesses from selling things to renting them out, loading them up with junk fees, slashing quality, jacking up prices over and over, and firing everyone who was good at their jobs. He is a master enshittifier, an enshittification ninja.

Krause has an unerring instinct for making people miserable while making money. He oversaw the merger of Citrix and VMWare, creating a ghastly company called The Cloud Software Group, which sold remote working tools. Despite this, of his first official acts was to order all of his employees to stop working remotely. But then, after forcing his workers to drag their butts into work, move back across the country, etc, he reversed himself because he figured out he could sell off all of the company's office space for a tidy profit.

Krause canceled employee benefits, like thank you days for managers who pulled a lot of unpaid overtime, or bonuses for workers who upgraded their credentials. He also ended the company's practice of handing out swag as small gifts to workers, and then stiffed the company that made the swag, wontpaying a $437,574.97 invoice for all the tchotchkes the company had ordered. That's not the only supplier Krause stiffed: FinLync, a fintech company with a three-year contract with Krause's company, also had to sue to get paid.

Krause's isn't a canny operator who roots out waste: he's a guy who tears out all the wiring and then grudgingly restores the minimum needed to keep the machine running (no wonder Musk loves him, this is the Twitter playbook). As Tkacik reports, Krause fucked up the customer service and reliability systems that served Citrix's extremely large, corporate customers – the giant businesses that cut huge monthly checks to Citrix, whose CIOs received daily sales calls from his competitors.

Workers who serviced these customers, like disabled Air Force veteran David Morgan, who worked with big public agencies, were fired on one hour's notice, just before their stock options vested. The giant public agency customers he'd serviced later called him to complain that the only people they could get on the phone were subcontractors in Indian call centers who lacked the knowledge and authority to resolve their problems.

Last month, Citrix fired all of its customer support engineers. Citrix's military customers are being illegally routed to offshore customer support teams who are prohibited from working with the US military.

Citrix/VMWare isn't an exception. The carnage at these companies is indistinguishable from the wreck Krause made of Broadcom. In all these cases, Krause was parachuted in by private equity bosses, and he destroyed something useful to extract a giant, one-time profit, leaving behind a husk that no longer provides value to its customers or its employees.

This is the DOGE playbook. It's all about plunder: take something that was patiently, carefully built up over generations and burn it to the ground, warming yourself in the pyre, leaving nothing behind but ash. This is what private equity plunderers have been doing to the world's "advanced" economies since the Reagan years. They did it to airlines, family restaurants, funeral homes, dog groomers, toy stores, pharma, palliative care, dialysis, hospital beds, groceries, cars, and the internet.

Trump's a plunderer. He was elected by the plunderer class – like the crypto bros who want to run wild, transforming workers' carefully shepherded retirement savings into useless shitcoins, while the crypto bros run off with their perfectly cromulent "fiat" money. Musk is the apotheosis of this mindset, a guy who claims credit for other peoples' productive and useful businesses, replacing real engineering with financial engineering. Musk and Krause, they're like two peas in a pod.

That's why – according to anonymous DOGE employees cited by Tckacik – DOGE managers are hired for their capacity for cruelty: "The criteria for DOGE is how many you have fired, how much you enjoy firing people, and how little you care about the impact on peoples well being…No wonder Tom Krause was tapped for this. He’s their dream employee!"

The fact that Krause isn't well known outside of plunderer circles is absolutely a feature for him, not a bug. Scammers like Krause want to be admitted to polite society. This is why the Sacklers – the opioid crime family that kicked off the Oxy pandemic that's murdered more than 800,000 Americans so far – were so aggressive about keeping their association with their family business, Purdue Pharma, a secret. The Sacklers only wanted to be associated with the art galleries and museums they put their names over, and their lawyers threatened journalists for writing about their lives as billionaire drug pushers (I got one of those threats).

There's plenty of good reasons to be anonymous – if you're a whistleblower, say. But if you ever encounter a corporate executive who insists on anonymity, that's a wild danger sign. Take Pixsy, the scam "copyleft trolls" whose business depends on baiting people into making small errors when using images licensed under very early versions of the Creative Common licenses, and then threatening to sue them unless they pay hundreds or thousands of dollars:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/24/a-bug-in-early-creative-commons-licenses-has-enabled-a-new-breed-of-superpredator/

Kain Jones, the CEO of Pixsy, tried to threaten me under the EU's GDPR for revealing the names of the scammer on his payroll who sent me a legal threat, and the executive who ran the scam for his business (I say he tried to threaten me because I helped lobby for the GDPR and I know for a fact that this isn't a GDPR violation):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/13/an-open-letter-to-pixsy-ceo-kain-jones-who-keeps-sending-me-legal-threats/

These people understand that they are in the business of ripping people off, causing them grave and wholly unjust financial injury. They value their secrecy because they are in the business of making strangers righteously furious, and they understand that one of these strangers might just show up in their lives someday to confront them about their transgressions.

This is why Unitedhealthcare freaked out so hard about Luigi Mangione's assassination of CEO Brian Thompson – that's not how the game is supposed to be played. The people who sit in on executive row, destroying your lives, are supposed to be wholly insulated from the consequences of their actions. You're not supposed to know who they are, you're not supposed to be able to find them – of course.

But even more importantly, you're not supposed to be angry at them. They pose as mere software agents in an immortal colony organism called a Limited Liability Corporation, bound by the iron law of shareholder supremacy to destroy your life while getting very, very rich. It's not supposed to be personal. That's why Unitedhealthcare is threatening to sue a doctor who was yanked out of surgery on a cancer patient to be berated by a UHC rep for ordering a hospital stay for her patient:

https://gizmodo.com/unitedhealthcare-is-mad-about-in-luigi-we-trust-comments-under-a-doctors-viral-post-2000560543

UHC is angry that this surgeon, Austin's Dr Elisabeth Potter, went Tiktok-viral with her true story of how how chaotic and depraved and uncaring UHC is. UHC execs fear that Mangione made it personal, that he obliterated the accountability sink of the corporation and put the blame squarely where it belongs – on the (mostly) men at the top who make this call.

This is a point Adam Conover made in his latest Factually podcast, where he interviewed Propublica's T Christian Miller and Patrick Rucker:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_5tDXRw8kg

Miller and Rucker published a blockbuster investigative report into Cigna's Evocore, a secret company that offers claims-denials as a service to America's biggest health insurers:

https://www.propublica.org/article/evicore-health-insurance-denials-cigna-unitedhealthcare-aetna-prior-authorizations

If you're the CEO of a health insurance company and you don't like how much you're paying out for MRIs or cancer treatment, you tell Evocore (which processes all your claim authorizations) and they turn a virtual dial that starts to reduce the number of MRIs your customers are allowed to have. This dial increases the likelihood that a claim or pre-authorization will be denied, which, in turn, makes doctors less willing to order them (even if they're medically necessary) and makes patients more likely to pay for them out of pocket.

Towards the end of the conversation, Miller and Rucker talk about how the rank-and-file people at an insurer don't get involved with the industry to murder people in order to enrich their shareholders. They genuinely want to help people. But executive row is different: those very wealthy people do believe their job is to kill people to save money, and get richer. Those people are personally to blame for the systemic problem. They are the ones who design and operate the system.

That's why naming the people who are personally responsible for these immoral, vicious acts is so important. That's why it's important that Wired and Propublica are unmasking the "pubescent sovereignty pickpockets" who are raiding the federal government under Krause's leadership:

https://projects.propublica.org/elon-musk-doge-tracker/

These people are committing grave crimes against the nation and its people. They should be known for this. It should follow them for the rest of their lives. It should be the lead in their obituaries. People who are introduced to them at parties should have a flash of recognition, hastily end the handshake, then turn on their heels and race to the bathroom to scrub their hands. For the rest of their lives.

Naming these people isn't enough to stop the plunder, but it helps. Yesterday, Marko Elez, the 25 year old avowed "eugenicist" who wanted to "normalize Indian hate" and could not be "[paid] to marry outside of my ethnicity," was shown the door. He's off the job. For the rest of his life, he will be the broccoli-haired brownshirt who got fired for his asinine, racist shitposting:

https://www.npr.org/2025/02/06/nx-s1-5289337/elon-musk-doge-treasury

After Krause's identity as the chief wrecker at DOGE was revealed, the brilliant Anna Merlan (author of Republic of Lies, the best book on conspiratorialism), wrote that "Now the whole country gets the experience of what it’s like when private equity buys the place you work":

https://bsky.app/profile/annamerlan.bsky.social/post/3lhepjkudcs2t

That's exactly it. We are witnessing a private equity-style plunder of the entire US government – of the USA itself. No one is better poised to write about this than Tkacik, because no one has private equity's number like Tkacik does:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/02/plunderers/#farben

Ironically, all this came down just as Trump announced that he was going to finally get rid of private equity's scammiest trick, the "carried interest" loophole that lets PE bosses (and, to a lesser extent, hedge fund managers) avoid billions in personal taxes:

https://archive.is/yKhvD

"Carried interest" has nothing to do with the interest rate – it's a law that was designed for 16th century sea captains who had an "interest" in the cargo they "carried":

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/29/writers-must-be-paid/#carried-interest

Trump campaigned on killing this loophole in 2017, but Congress stopped him, after a lobbying blitz by the looter industry. It's possible that he genuinely wants to get rid of the carried interest loophole – he's nothing if not idiosyncratic, as the residents of Greenland can attest:

https://prospect.org/world/2025-02-07-letter-between-friendly-nations/

Even if he succeeds, looters and the "investor class" will get a huge giveaway under Trump, in the form of more tax giveaways and the dismantling of labor and environmental regulation. But it's far more likely that he won't succeed. Rather – as Yves Smith writes for Naked Capitalism – he'll do what he did with the Canada and Mexico tariffs: make a tiny, unimportant change and then lie and say he had done something revolutionary:

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2025/02/is-trump-serious-about-trying-to-close-the-private-equity-carried-interest-loophole.html

This has been a shitty month, and it's not gonna get better for a while. On my dark days, I worry that it won't get better during my lifetime. But at least we have people like Tkacik to chronicle it, explain it, put it in context. She's amazing, a whirlwind. The same day that her report on Krause dropped, the Prospect published another must-read piece by her, digging deep into Alex Jones's convoluted bankruptcy gambit:

https://prospect.org/justice/2025-02-06-crisis-actors-alex-jones-bankruptcy/

It lays bare the wild world of elite bankruptcy court, another critical conduit for protecting the immoral rich from their victims. The fact that Tkacik can explain both Krause and the elite bankruptcy system on the same day is beyond impressive.

We've got a lot of work ahead of ourselves. The people in charge of this system – whose names you must learn and never forget – aren't going to go easily. But at least we know who they are. We know what they're doing. We know how the scam works. It's not a flurry of incomprehensible actions – it's a playbook that killed Red Lobster, Toys R Us, and Sears. We don't have to follow that playbook.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/07/broccoli-hair-brownshirts/#shameless

#pluralistic #Maureen Tkacik #the american prospect #corporate sociopaths #pixsy #luigi mangione #propublica #doge #coup #elon musk #guillotine watch #adam conover #private equity #citrix #tom krause #looters #marko elez

400 notes · View notes

probablyasocialecologist · 4 months ago

Text

Many of Harris’s mistakes were similar to those Hillary Clinton made in 2016. Like Clinton, Harris cozied up to billionaire donors. Mark Cuban, for instance, said he was delighted that Harris was abandoning Democrats’ commitments to progressive principles and letting the business community propose the policies it wanted. Like Clinton, Harris and Tim Walz made hubristic campaign stops in solidly red states like Texas and Kentucky rather than spending the final days laser-focused on crucial battlegrounds. Like Clinton, Harris emphasized celebrity endorsements while failing to successfully court unions. (Most notably, the Teamsters declined to endorse her after she refused to pledge that she wouldn’t break a national railway strike.) Like Clinton, Harris focused too much on the danger of Donald Trump (which is very real) and not enough on the reasons why she would be good at being president herself. Most importantly, like Clinton, Harris ultimately decided upon a strategy of trying to woo moderate Republican voters away from Trump, reasoning that it didn’t matter if doing so alienated progressive voters and the Democratic base. Chuck Schumer, speaking of Hillary’s 2016 strategy, infamously promised: "For every blue-collar Democrat we lose in western Pennsylvania, we will pick up two moderate Republicans in the suburbs in Philadelphia. And you can repeat that in Ohio and Illinois and Wisconsin." In fact, they just lost the blue-collar Democrats and didn’t pick up the Republicans! In 2024, Harris, too, aggressively touted endorsements from Republicans, promised to put a Republican in her cabinet (she even cited that as the answer to what she would have done differently from Biden!), and went so far as to praise and embrace Dick and Liz Cheney! The strategy was an abject failure. Because she wanted to appease both Republicans and progressive voters, Harris had to further indulge her weakness for speaking in meaningless word salads, since taking stances that were meaningful could have alienated one of these constituencies. Trump, who is canny about portraying himself as more anti-war than Democrats, correctly pointed out that an endorsement from the hawkish Cheneys should be a badge of shame, not honor. (Specifically he said Cheney is “"the King of Endless, Nonsensical Wars, wasting Lives and Trillions of Dollars, just like Comrade Kamala Harris. I am the Peace President, and only I will stop World War III!")

[...]

The lesson to Democratic leaders in 2016 should have been that Bernie Sanders had been right, that the party had betrayed working-class voters and would be doomed if it could not effectively counter Trump’s pseudo-populist appeal with a visionary alternative. (See the excellent analysis in Thomas Frank’s Listen, Liberal.) Unfortunately, the lessons weren’t learned then, and it doesn’t seem like they’re going to be learned now, either! MSNBC anchor Joy Reid is already insisting that Kamala Harris’s campaign was “flawless” (because she got “every prominent celebrity voice”), and pundits like Jill Filipovic are saying things like, “this election was not an indictment of Kamala Harris. It was an indictment of America.” (Good luck ever winning with the slogan “You’re the problem, America!”) USAToday’s Michael Stern says that instead of talking about “where the Harris campaign went wrong” we should talk about “where the American people went wrong.” The Harris campaign itself is blaming unspecified “obstacles that were largely out of our control.”

6 November 2024

#kamala harris #democrats #us elections #us election 2024 #liberalism

137 notes · View notes

batmanisagatewaydrug · 7 months ago

Note

Wh. Everything I've seen about Walz says he's saying that the shit happening rn is awful and they should call for a ceasefire??? Am I missing something?

he mostly does not say much, but has a history of hyping up Israel as the US's #1 bff in the region. currently he seems to be a two state solution guy, which again is like bog standard for American Dems, but he's canny enough to note that the genocide is a huge voter issue that's not going away rather than try to dismiss it entirely.

realistically there's no world where Harris' running mate was going to be someone actively calling for an end to Israel's genocidal settler colony, especially not with three months to the election, and while I'll admit that I'm extremely impressed by Walz's track record in other areas of his career it's hard not to be frustrated by such a pussy ass "best option" in the face of such urgent suffering.

101 notes · View notes

catribone · 2 years ago

Text

el fanfic mas epico que he leido hasta ahora :,D

Medievil: Kingdom Of Lies Chapter Eight

The Stained Glass Demon Brawl,

The stained glass demon let out a loud roar of a shriek and lunged Dan, attacking him.

"DAN! WATCH OUT!" Lynne cried out. Dan screamed as the stained glass demon lunged at him. Quickly, he dodged it and tried to run towards the door on the left side of the room. Stained glass rose from out of the floor, blocking his escape. Dan turned around about to use the window, but saw that it was blocked off as well. There was no where for him to go. The creature slowly began to advance towards him, inching closer and closer.

"Sir, you have to fight!" Canny Tim shouted. Dan pulled out his sword and charged towards the demon, swinging it down. His sword did no damage, in fact there wasn't even a scratch.

"Bugger!" Dan cursed, the demon lunged at him again, it's claws raised in the air to strike. Dan rolled out of the way, only for the creature to smack Daniel with it's hand. Dan was knocked back as he was sent flying and crashed into the wall, falling onto the floor. Dan groaned as he held his head, looking up at the demon as it raised it's claw, getting ready to strike him down. Then Dan noticed something strange. There was a small gap exposed inside of the creature's chest. There was something moving inside of it, beating rhythmically. Dan's eye widen in realization. It was the stained glass heart!

"Captain Fortesque!" Canny Tim called out, gripping the bars of the gate, worried. The glass demon brought it's claw down on Dan to finish him off. Dan quickly rolled out of the way and the creature struck the wall, getting it's claw stuck into it. Dan ran over to the gate to Canny Tim and Lynne.

"I need your cross bow for a minute!" Dan said urgently. The creature had managed to pull it's claw free from the wall and turned around, facing towards Dan and the others.

"Here!" Canny Tim shouted, handing Dan his crossbow to him. Dan quickly took it from the crossbowman, just as the demon lunged at him again. Dan dodged out of the way and it landed on the gate, startling Tim and Lynne as it did. The stained glass demon jumped down and tossed multiple projectiles of shards of glass at the skeleton knight. Dan jumped out of the way, but several shards nicked him as he did, and landed on his feet, facing the demon. The demon jumped high into the air landing in the center of the room then levitated from off of the floor, charging up for another attack.

Dan quickly raised the crossbow and fired several rounds of arrows at the creature's exposed chest, hitting it's heart. The demon let out a painful shriek as it collapsed onto the ground.

"Great work, sir!" Canny Tim cheered.

"It's not over yet!" Lynne shouted, seeing the creature starting to get back up again. It raised it's hand, aiming at Dan. Dan tried to move out of the way, but he found out that he couldn't move his feet. Dan looked down and saw that his feet were encased in glass until it suddenly began to grow, starting to encase his entire body, trapping him of it.

"Dan!" Lynne shouted. Dan pounded away at the glass, trying to break it. The creature swung it's claw again, smashing to the glass, hitting Dan on his side, batting him away. Canny Tim's weapon was knocked from his hand. Dan landed hard on the floor with a thud and the creature let out a horrifying loud screech as it towered down on the skeleton knight.

"Sir, don't give up! I know that you can do it!" Canny Tim shouted. Dan tried to get up, but he was getting, tired, exhausted. The demon swung it's claws at Dan knocking him down onto his back as he landed of the gate in front of Canny Tim and Lynne. Lynne looked over at the crossbow that was on the other side of the room then back towards the demon that was coming towards Dan, who was struggling to get up.

With no hesitation, Lynne started to climb onto the gate. Canny Tim's eyes widen in alarm as he saw Lynne climbing the gate and tried to grab her, to stop her. But, she had already reach the top of it and jumped over to the other side. Lynne quickly dashed over to the crossbow, while the crossbowman tried to call her back. The creature turned it's attention away from Dan as it saw Lynne heading towards the crossbow. Dan's eye widen as well and grabbed onto the creature's leg just as it was about to lunged at the woman. It snarled and snapped it's head back towards the skeleton knight, trying to shake him off. Dan lost his grip and landed near Lynne.

She bent down, helping sit Dan up when the two saw the creature lifting off from the floor, starting to unleash another attack. Dan took the crossbow from Lynne's hand and aimed it at the demon's exposed heart. He fired and hit it just as the stained glass demon unleashed an attack, seeing a blast towards Dan and Lynne. Dan rolled on his side, shielding Lynne with his body, taking the full front of the blast as it knocked them back. The creature let out a shriek as it's body began to crack until it fell onto it's knees and completely shattered, scattering shards everywhere, defeated.

The gate opened and Canny Tim immediately rushed over to Dan and Lynne who were lying on the floor.

"Captain, you did it! I knew that you could!" he cheered, happily. Lynne moved underneath Dan's arms as she sat up, gently, pushing him off from her body. To not hurt him anymore than he already was, considering he had taken a beaten from the fight. She frowned when she saw that something was not right. Canny Tim frowned as well, as he received no response from Dan.

"Sir?" he asked again, starting to grow concerned. Lynne turned Dan over to see the damaged that was dealt to him by the stained glass demon. There were scratch marks on his bones from the shards of glass, a few cracks on his arms and head. His injuries was not healing, fast as they normally did. He looked like he was growing weaker and weaker with every minute.

"He's going to die if we don't do something," Lynne explained. Canny Tim's eyes widen.

"He can't die! What can we do?!" he exclaimed. Then Lynne remembered that she was carrying some zombie juice in a flask, that she retrieved from several zombies that she defeated, in a small bag that she was carrying. For some experimental purposes, of course. Guess, now's the right time as any. She quickly digged into her bag and fished the flask out, which contained a light green glowing liquid, swirling around inside of it.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Canny Tim gagged at the sight of it. "You're going to make him drink that? How is he going to, if he doesn't have a jaw?"

Lynne popped open the cork of the flask and dumped the contents all over the skeleton knight. "I guess that's one way to do it." The liquid began to absorb into Dan's bones, settling in. Then to Canny Tim's and Lynne's relief, they saw Dan's cuts and injuries starting to disappear as if he was never injured to begin with. Dan began to stir as he opened his eye, waking up. He saw Tim and Lynne looking at him, smiling in relief, to see him still "alive."

"What happened?" Dan asked.

"We almost lost you, sir," the crossbowman told him. "Luckily, Lynne, here had some of that zombie juice in her back. Who knew that it would come in handy!?" Tim crushed Dan as he pulled him closer, hugging him. Dan groaned in pain, still feeling some of the bruises from the fight.

"That's great. Can you get off of me, now?"

Tim quickly pulled back, grinning sheepishly. "Sorry, sir!" Dan turned towards Lynne.

"That was a very reckless think to do," he mumbled. Lynne blushed.

"I couldn't stand to see you get beaten up," she replied, softly. "It was the only thing that I could think of at the time. We have to get more of this stuff, should this ever happens again. However, I only have one flask at the moment. But, if we stop at my shop at the village, nearby, we can get some more."

"That's a good idea," Canny Tim agreed.

Canny Tim and Lynne helped Dan back on his feet. As they did, Dan noticed something shining in the glass shard remains of the stained glass demon. He walked over to it and picked it up, while avoiding getting cut by the glass. Dan looked looked at it closer as Canny Tim and Lynne walked over to him to see what he had found. It was a key that was shaped into a skeleton.

"There was a locked gate back at the cemetery that we passed. It had the same design, just like this," Lynne pointed out. "Maybe, the key goes to it?"

#Medievil #sir daniel fortesque #Canny Tim #Medievil OC #fanfic

6 notes · View notes

turquoisephoenix · 11 months ago

Text

"After you were slain, I shot Zarok's Champion, Lord Kardok. A clean kill, Sir! Right through the eye at some 300 yards! Err...not that there's anything clever about shooting someone in the eye, Sir!"

Canny Tim and a somewhat pessimistic Sir Daniel Fortesque from MediEvil: Resurrection.

#putting my PS5 to good use (this is all my footage)#I love that Sir Daniel drops hints here and there that he's not exactly thrilled that he's a skeleton now #he's not full on angsting about it but he's not happy about it either #also sorry the subtitles are off-center in the last gif - Dan moves to the left in that scene and you can't turn his subtitles off #MediEvil #medievil resurrection #medievil: resurrection #sir daniel fortesque #Canny Tim #Turquoisephoenix's gifs #gifset #gifs

66 notes · View notes

memedievil · 1 year ago

Text

Sir Daniel: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.

Canny Tim, eyes wide and staring up at the ceiling:

#medievil #medievil resurrection #incorrect quotes #memedievil #sir daniel fortesque #canny tim #s: tumblr

22 notes · View notes

iwanthermidnightz · 6 months ago

Text

“Last night, left-leaning Swifties everywhere breathed a sigh of relief: Taylor Swift finally endorsed Democratic candidate Kamala Harris for president.

The Harris campaign seemed relieved too, if not ecstatic. Two officials told NBC News they had no idea Swift's endorsement was coming — her running mate, Tim Walz, even found out on live TV — but they were definitely ready for it. Just one hour after the debate had wrapped, friendship bracelets were being sold on the campaign website. Harris polished off her post-debate party by blasting Swift's anti-misogyny anthem "The Man."

The campaign's preparation makes sense. Swift's eventual endorsement of Harris had been likely all along. After all, she voted for Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Joe Biden; she publicly celebrated when Biden picked Harris as his running mate four years ago; she has repeatedly condemned homophobic and racist policies from the Republican Party. Swift has made her allegiance clear.

What wasn't clear was just how long she expected us to wait without making a fuss.

It's quite possible that Swift had always planned to share her endorsement last night, syncing it with the debate for maximum attention and impact. This would align with Swift's reputation as a canny strategist.”

#good read with valid points #politiclore

23 notes · View notes

nebbychan · 1 year ago

Note

Omg yessss can we please have some Modern!Canny Tim?

Forgive me, I did not include an image this time around but this entry will be text heavy, so here we go!

Canny Tim

(31 years old)

Tim is Dan’s childhood best friend, plus his second-in-command during their time in the military. Growing up, he lived in the same neighborhood as Dan — their houses were right next to each other and was one of the few friends Dan had that would beat up any bullies he encountered. He’s earned many nicknames throughout the years; “Olive” from his mother due to his favorite afternoon snack being olives, “Little Sparrow” from a mutual friend (who only goes by his band moniker, “Bloodmonath Skull Cleaver”, no one quite knows his real name), but the one that stuck was, “Canny Tim”, primarily due to his pleasant personality and peppy attitude. Tim does not live with Dan, as he actually has his own place just out into the countryside.

After leaving the military, Tim became a beekeeper and archery instructor, and it’s not uncommon to see him outdoors either tending to the massive garden he has for the bees, or out at the range shooting at targets — visitors are often advised that severe caution be taken when approaching him, as he tends to disassociate with the world around him and it’s difficult to break his concentration. And while he’s quite proud of his work, he’s also not one to boast about it either.

Tim may appear to be the smarter one compared to Dan, but make no mistake, he can be just as reckless and stupid as he is. And he’s not exactly docile either, he has some unchecked rage too, and Dan has to hold him back every time. The one time Dan actually let Tim go, it nearly got both of them arrested.

Tim has a great love of the outdoors, but has struggled trying to convince Dan that camping is a lot of fun. Though to be fair, Dan is more of a “glamper” anyway.

With the bee farm and an archery range, this meant doubling the income and allotting several luxuries which include a custom made crossbow, which he will NOT shut up about

Absolutely LOVES D&D, it’s one of the few things that will keep him indoors for a long period of time, second to bar hopping with friends, plus watching Dan’s livestreams as it reminds him of a childhood pastime they shared, which was playing video games on the PlayStation

Has tried (and failed) to grow a mustache

While in the military, Tim studied and got a master’s degree in Horticulture, he has also worked to get a hunting license after leaving the military, plus a vendor’s license for the bee farm, as he sells the honey the bees produce.

(TW: Transphobia) Tim absolutely does not talk to his father, as far as he’s concerned, his father is dead to him. Reason why stems from when a teenage Tim came out as trans to his parents, and while his mother happily accepted him and supported him in his transition, his father had the opposite reaction, constantly misgendering and deadnaming him which then broke into screaming matches between them. This resulted in his parents getting a divorce and his mother obtaining sole custody, he’d even changed his last name to his mother’s maiden name as a way to cut all ties. Tim heard through the grapevine that his father remarried and that he and his new wife (equally as conservative as he is), have been trying for a baby, which honestly scares him a little

Tim is very close to his mother, even when she was active duty military. As a kid, he didn’t care that she was far away, so long as he got to hear her voice during weekly phone calls, and saw her whenever she had time off. The day she announced she was retiring, Tim was over the moon and had arranged a special Welcome Home dinner for the occasion, all the dishes served consisting of his mother’s absolute favorite foods

Tim knows how to cook, his father taught him how, and Dan had pestered him a bunch of times to prepare his lunches for him when they were teens. He didn’t mind it so long as Dan footed the bill for the ingredients

When it comes to Dan’s love life, Tim has always been Dan’s biggest supporter through every relationship he’s ever been in (Tim bakes honey cakes and serves it with ice cream whenever Dan goes through a breakup), the two even agreed to be each other’s best man for the other’s wedding

His favorite genre of music is Electric Swing, though if you ask him which music artist is his favorite, he will say Lady Gaga without hesitation

Has a severe allergy to celery, which will cause him to break out in hives if he touches it, or if accidentally consumed, will require medical intervention

Can’t stand horror films or games, even as young kids, Tim had to beg Dan not to tell scary stories during sleepovers or else he had to sleep with the lights on all night, nightlights wouldn’t cut it for him

#medievil #medievil resurrection #sir daniel fortesque #canny tim

10 notes · View notes