#Cancer has no chance of killing me

[aria-ashryver]

Tuesday's here, so.. how are you feeling? Did you get to see that grandma again? 👀

Hiya kitty my love! This post is coming to you ⭐️ LIVE ⭐️from the chemo ward!!!

The grandma is not here today hehe. I suspect she's doing 3 weekly chemo - I'm here every week bc of the "it's probably stage 4 cancer" thing, so my treatment plan is comparatively intense. I'll keep an eye out for her 🤭

Things are going well! Well? Kind of well?

My chemo is working and I'm in good spirits!! However.... i did have to have some extra tests and obs this morning bc I've been having some (lowkey potentially serious) chemo toxicity reactions this past week. Namely, my heart rate is a bit high and occasionally erratic, and I have some tingling nerves/numbness in my right hand (both things to keep an eye on, as chemotherapy can affect the capacity one's heart can effectively pump, and can also cause permanent nerve damage in the hands and feet.)

(Makes writing hard 😡 stupid caesar)

No need to worry though! The doctor has seen me this morning and given me the OK to push ahead with treatment. I have simply decided that I am Too Tough For This Shit, and apparently the doctors agree I can handle things 🎆🎉

ALSO my heart rate may be high rn because MY NURSE FOR THE DAY IS SO PRETTYYYYYYYY oh my gosh. she came up to me when I arrived, showed me her name tag on her 🌈 rainbow lapel 🏳️‍🌈 and was like "Hi Renee, my name is Vidya, you can call me either Vidya or Vid - is there a preferred name you'd like me to use?" and I was like hell yeah I've found my people

(Ooh, behold my other name ✨️ Aria lore unlock)

She told me she loved my hair 🥺💕 she's super gentle and she keeps praising me, and she straight up held my hand when she put my IV line in!!! 😭😭😭

so like... naturally im planning our wedding 💁‍♀️💌💝

My veins have decided to up and quit lmao, I had a blood test yesterday, and had to get a gang of very sweet phlebotomists to juice me like a feral bastard orange bc my veins just refused to fill the vials, no matter where they tried 😅

But you know what's super cool? My tumor is like half the size it was already. GET WRECKED CAESAR YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED 🔥🔥🔥

Soggy tuna sandwiches for lunch today in the day ward. I can hear Cas’s disapproval from here.

As always, sending you hugs! (And hugs for anyone else reading this who wants one, you deserve all the hugs 🤗 )

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

[maddiescars]

eat it, fucker

[claredanko]

mutual 1: got in a car accident today didnt have time to masturbate bc i had to exchange insurance info with the other guy but i think i have a chance of hooking up with him bc he drove a ford

mutual 2: call me throat cancer the way peter tork could get it

mutual 3: (500 reblogs of a robert de niro/martin scorsese yaoi photoshop edit)

mutual 4: i think love will always be there. even when you wish it werent. (gif of rotating monkeys)

mutual 5: breaking news stephen stills stopped taking estradiol because it made him experience menopause symptoms

mutual 6: who would be the first member of the beastie boys to get an abortion i vote ad rock

mutual 7: (web weaving post dedicated to descriptions of nonsexual intimacy in an air fryer instruction manual)

mutual 8: heres a link to my google drive containing every single article on jstor its continuously updated but please DM me if ive missed one.

mutual 9: (poll) my psychiatrist told me i might be the cause for my relationship issues with the elderly gay couple ive been practicing bdsm with should i kill the psychiatrist or myself?

mutual 10: giys im scared

mutual 11: trent reznor has never washed his pussy but id still eat it every day #feminist

mutual 12: went for a walk and got some coffee. the sun is shining, children are playing on the street and life is wonderful

mutual 13: drafting my suicide note while on hold with the bank rn

mutual 14: (photo of the most gorgeous plate of food imaginable) quick dinner tonight! didnt have time to sous vide the quail so i opted for a quick braise - still turned out delicious!

mutual 15: sooo.... apparently my city has been cursed with an eternal night for like 3 years and i didnt notice? kinda gerardcore if you u ask me..

[asthedeathoflight]

It's very funny when people reading Gideon the ninth for the first time comment in confusion about how little people talk about "Dulcinea" but like. Actually we DONT talk about Cytherea enough.

Cytherea - who was dying for 10,000 years! Cytherea the miracle worker who was brought before God and he LIED to her and he told her and her friends they were doing the right thing and he WATCHED as they killed each other and he is DOING IT ALL OVER AGAIN. Cytherea who is trying to get God's attention but who is also trying in her own monstrous way to be kind. They all have to die because /the only other option is to become what she is./ Of course Jeannemary and Isaac have to die. Isaac has to die because she can't let him kill Jeannemary. Jeannemary has to die because she watched Isaac die and Cytherea knows there's no coming back from that. Dulcinea HAS to die because the only other option is to suffocate slowly in her own cancer for 10,000 years and Cytherea /can't let her do that./ The fifth and the fourth and the sixth and the ninth - they ALL have to die because if she could go back that's what she would have wanted. They don't know it yet, but in 10,000 years, they'd want it too. She didn't take her chance to die when she had it. They don't know how lucky they are.

And Cytherea who put on airs of being petty and selfish meanwhile she gave herself away until there was nothing left. Cytherea who hated God because he took everything she had without blinking twice. Cytherea who said over and over "me, I will" and whose sisters and brothers died around her and who wouldn't let them forget about Loveday - who loved Loveday when they all hated her.

Cytherea who held Gideon in her arms while she was dying during the siphoning trial and told her "remember this feeling. Remember how much it hurts. And if anyone ever asks this of you, you have to remember and say no." Gideon, who reminded Cytherea so much of Loveday. Cytherea, who /asked that of Loveday./ And Gideon, who went out and /did it anyway./

Cytherea, at the end of everything, who NEEDS to kill Gideon and Harrow because they love each other and she can't let them get it wrong like she and Loveday did, who sees the skull they're hiding in open and sees Gideon's body and sees Harrow pick up that sword and has lost despite everything, and who finally gives up and lets them kill her.

[noosayog]

[parking ticket] ft. sawamura daichi 

wc: 1k

contents/warnings: fem! reader, reader is referred to as ma’am, timeskip characters. for the sake of story, let’s pretend the Miyagi prefecture parking rules go by the same ones in the States but Daichi is not an American cop because acab till I die!! 

A flash of light catches your attention when you look up from your phone from inside your car. By meter for the spot you’re currently parked in, is a cop who is tapping away at his little device, looking between his device, your car, and the meter that is currently flashing red. 

“Wait!” you say frantically, exiting your car. 

The cop looks up. When you meet his eyes previously hidden by his cap, they linger a bit on you before he levels you with an unimpressed look. 

“I just got here! I was planning on paying.” 

“Ma’am, I saw you pull into this spot before I circled around the block. And now, it’s still not paid.” 

You cringe. When you had pulled into the spot, 10 minutes early for your scheduled manicure appointment, you figured you could just kill time in the car. You were scrolling through your instagram feed, looking for nail inspo when you noticed the cop. 

“I was in an important call!” you fib. 

The cop puts his device down, and props his hands on his hips. You inappropriately take note of his broad shoulders and square jawline. His unimpressed gaze remains as he tightens his jaw. 

“You could have just paid the meter then went on with your call.” 

“It really was important! So important that I needed to get on the call the second I parked.” 

He picks up his device and continues tapping, eyes now darting down to your license plate. 

“Please, please! I swear, I plan on paying! It was just a couple of minutes,” you beg. 

Tap, tap. The device spits out a little piece of paper and he rips it from the jagged teeth of the mini printer. 

“Fine!” you say, storming over to where he’s standing. You quickly insert some coins into the meter, jabbing them in with your thumb for good measure. “I was on a call with the hospital because I just found out my grandma has stage four metastatic breast cancer, so if that warrants a ticket, then leave it on my dash, asshole!” 

With that, you walk swiftly away, both frustrated and impressed with your own quick thinking. 

You’re pleased to find that after your manicure, there is no ticket on your dash. 

You squash down the slight guilt you feel when you instead see a little note with a simple “sorry about your Grandmother” scribbled on. 

– 

It’s a couple weeks later when you revisit the nail salon for some regular upkeep. You pull into a spot and quickly exit your vehicle to feed the meter. You didn’t want to take your chances in this same area, knowing there’s potential for a certain cop to be patrolling. You’re waiting at an intersection when a tap on your shoulder gets your attention. 

Turning around, you find yourself not surprised to come face to face with the same handsome cop as the other day. 

“Hey, nice to see you again,” he says. 

“Oh, hi. Yes,” you nod pleasantly. 

He takes off his police cap and tucks it neatly between his arms and torso. Even with his face half covered, you knew he would be nice to look at, but with his cap off, you get a full view of his gentle brown eyes and cropped black hair. 

“How’s your grandma? I’m sorry I was being such a hardass that day.” He rubs sheepishly at the back of his neck with his free hand. 

“Oh,” you smile a bit. “She’s fine. I lied so you wouldn’t give me a ticket,” you say breezily. 

The light at the intersection turns green. 

“See ya around!” you wave and start walking. 

You get a couple of feet before the officer falls into step with you. 

“Hold on a sec. Are you saying your grandmother doesn’t actually have cancer?”

“Nope.” 

“First of all, you shouldn’t go around lying about stuff like that, what if you speak it into existence?” 

You shrug, “both my grandmothers are already dead, so…” 

“Oh…” he says awkwardly. “Sorry to hear that.” 

You laugh again at his shifty eyes. 

“What’s the second thing?” you ask. 

“Hm?”

The two of you continue your leisurely stroll, side-by-side. You’ve already passed your salon, but you figure another lap wouldn’t hurt. 

“You said ‘first of all.’ What’s second?” 

“Ah,” he nods, sticking his hands in his pocket, relaxing his gait. “Second of all, why would you tell me you lied? I still have your license plate.” 

“Well,” you pretend to ponder, a mischievous smile growing. “Are you going to give me a ticket, officer?” 

He smiles too. “Depends. You might have to pay me back in some other ways.” 

“That sounds oddly inappropriate given your position in law enforcement,” you joke. 

“How about a date?” 

You startle a bit, not expecting a straight shot from someone who seems very, well, reserved. 

“You don’t even know my name,” you qualify. 

“I do. I looked up your registration.” 

You stop to face him, mentally noting the number on his badge. There, if he was creepy or weird, you could report him or something. 

“I'm free tomorrow night?” 

“Perfect, pick you up at 7?”

“You don’t even-” 

“I know where you live. Registration, remember?” 

“This feels like a misuse of government resources.” 

He leans in a bit, close enough for you to feel his minty breath on your cheeks. “May I?” he whispers.

Dazzled, you nod. 

He gives you the lightest kiss on your cheek, before taking one large, respectable step away. “My name is Sawamura Daichi. I promise I won’t do anything weird with your information unless you deserve another parking ticket in the future.” 

“Hey!” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow night, then,” he says, fixing his cap back on his head and giving you a cute little salute before walking back the direction he came from.

[starwrighter]

You know what I love in DpxDc crossovers?

When people explain Jason's pit madness as having to do with ectoplasm. Whether it be the hc that the pits are corrupted ectoplasm, Jason being a revenant before being dunked in the pits or any other idea/theory I love it all!

But you know what I don't see much of? The pit madness being seen as something more clinical. In most of the DpxDc crossovers I've read it's always treated as something that can be easily and quickly fixed. I don't see much content about Jason's pit madness being treated like an serious illness and it's honestly underrated.

Make his pit madness be like cancer for ghost's. Something spread throughout his body like a fucked up spider web slowly killing him as it continues to go untreated. Making his life emotionally and oftentimes physically painful. Have Jason assume his pain is just the consequences of his vigilante life since nobody could ever diagnose him with anything.

Danny feeling heartbroken when he sees Jason not because he can sniff it out or sense it but because he can see it. Oftentimes cancer doesn't show symptoms until it's advanced. For Danny this is like seeing someone who's medical treatment has been so neglected that they're covered in tumors! Danny screaming bloody murder at Bruce for allowing things to get this far; for not getting him help and allowing things to fester like this. Danny's ugly crying because he's a child and he doesn't know how to react to something like this! It's a horrifying sight when medical care is neglected, but seeing someone suffering so much without even knowing what's going on? It's terrifying.

Jason trying to comfort Danny but Danny just starts crying harder because Jason doesn't know what the hell is going on and someone has to be the one to tell him.

Treat Jason's pit madness as a symptom of something bigger, not something that can be fixed with the flick of a wrist. Show me the grief of having a loved one/being the loved one suffering from something that has a good chance of killing them. Where the treatment can make you feel worse than the disease does sometimes. Seeing a loved one get weaker and weaker yet reassuring yourself it's just the process of healing and they're going to be fine.

Have it be something that's treatment is long and strenuous, something that might need surgery to fix. Jason needing a bone marrow transplant or an organ and Danny being the only halfa that's willing to give it to him. Jason having to choose whether he's willing to risk a child's life to save himself or if he's just going to die a second time.

(Bonus! Have Jason deny the operation but Doctors work differently in the realms so it's done anyway without his consent. Does Jason think Danny died from the operation? Maybe it's some important ghost bone marrow/organ and the doctors being dodgey and refusing to let anyone see Danny before he's recovered enough? Jason grieving over a child and lashing out because "why would anyone decide the life of a child was something you could throw away like that!")

[justabunchofdragons]

s8 e19 spoilers im not normal about this

wilson knowing without hesitation the names, ages, types of cancer, survival expectation and death day of 3 people who died years ago when he sees death every day is so fucking special to me. you know he hasn't forgotten any death in all his years of doctoring

wilson feeds off neediness but would rather kill himself than be pitied. "if there's even a CHANCE i die slowly in a hospital bed being gawked at and lied to about how i look i won't take it" wilson you crazy bastard.

(god there's just something about this reaction vs how house acts when he's hospitalised. i don't have the words or coherence rn but its at least a 500 word essay)

house offering to do it at his apartment (i hate this i love you im putting myself in a position where you can't leave or kick me out because i need you to know i care about you and won't let you be alone)

house explaining how much pain wilson will be in and wilson realising afterwards that he was talking from experience

house saying him and wilson have "all they need" in the apartment after wilson voicing his upset about not having a wife and kids to look after him. this whole episode is just a declaration of love. what even happened with the patient i was NOT paying attention

wilson hallucinating the kid specifically. he wants to suffer because he takes all the death and suffering on his head he DOES feel like he deserves it he just had the simultaneous realisation that he also wants to live ("would i do it all again? make the same mistakes? given half the chance, yes. yes.")

wilson sobbing about not wanting to die in an ambulance, not wanting to die in a hospital. something something amber's last moments being so painfully lucid. so clearly surrounded by death. by the failure of her own body to keep her alive. in that huge white room being able to see the bypass machine keeping her alive. hearing the heart monitor. a bed too small for the two of them. he's seen so many people die in hospitals. he's heard of so many people dying in ambulances. its the desperation of it all. the ultimate place of healing and when it fails it breaks your world into 7 billion little pieces.

something something amber died of the flu wilson the oncologist dying of cancer. "young do gooders shouldn't suffer like that"

house promising not to do it. house not lying about it. house not getting one wink of sleep because he has to check for wilson's chest rising and falling.

house clearly taking wilson's insults to heart but making sure his friend doesn't feel bad about it. head in hands.........

this point has been made to hell and back but house weighing up the vicodin and choosing alcohol instead. 1. he doesn't have a stockpile anymore. and 2. he cares so much. he cares so much. he knows his best friend might be dying on his couch and he doesn't want those last moments to be painful

wilson laughing so hard at house's stupid vacation photoshoot. i wanna bottle that joy up and listen to it when im upset

[thewertsearch]

You reflect on your prior experience as the team's ectobiologist. It seemed like you were doing something so important at the time. Finally everything made sense. This was why you were here. But what was the point? You are all clearly going to die the most pointless deaths possible. [...] You are no ectobiologist. If only there was some other title more befitting of the true discipline you practice, and the death sentence given to whatever you do the disservice of creating.

Oh, I get it. Karkat's the CarcinoGeneticist, so his universe spawns a session with a tumor.

The Tumor was described as a mutation, so it might literally be a form of cosmic cancer. Perhaps Sburb sessions are part of their host universe's body, and the kids' frog has faulty cells.

And what about the OTHER twelve wigglers you spawned? Who were they? Probably further proof this was all meaningless and random. Could it be that they were the true heroes meant to be sent back to play this game, while your team was the superfluous crop?

That would be the ancestors, the troll Guardians that Eridan mentioned. It seems they might have an actual role in the story, especially if they really are the ancestors who were giving Aradia orders.

Sollux is up, but his glowing eyes are gone, presumably indicating that his psionics are offline. I was relying on him to turn the tide against the murderers, and losing his support is a pretty serious blow. Let's hope it's temporary.

EB: so… what about jack? […] EB: are you still planning on killing him? […] EB: it is much better than killing friends. AG: Yeah, you're right. AG: And to tell you the truth, part of the reason I wanted to kill him was to protect them. It's not just a8out glory you know.

I don't doubt it. It's always been apparent to me that Vriska does care about the people around her. The problem is, every time she tries to express that affection, it comes out in weird, fucked-up ways.

At best, she comes off as rude and confrontational.

At worst...

...let's not talk about it.

AG: 8ecause if I don't do it, then who will? EB: well, we have a plan to defeat him too, so there's that. AG: Yes, I know a8out your plan. AG: I guess two plans are 8etter than one, right?

Not always. In this case, I'd argue that a single collaborative plan would be better than two unworkable ones. If you don't rendezvous with Karkat soon, there's every chance that Gamzee will get to him before he's done helping Jade.

Then, once Jack's reduced you to atoms, we'll have zero plans.

[randomfoggytiger]

Fight the Future Hallway, In-Depth (Part III): "No, Something Stung Me"

Resolution made, Scully quietly ruminates over ideas, raising an eyebrow when one sticks. Steeling herself for her own first undisguised overture, she closes her eyes and swiftly pulls back to face Mulder.

Mulder remains frozen in place, face hardened, afraid her withdrawal is his anticipated rejection. As Scully cups the back of his head and crushes her mouth to his forehead, his eyes immediately close: emotionally overwhelmed.

Prolonging the kiss, Scully presses her lips harder, scrunching her face and eyebrows in an attempt to translate the ardor of her devotion and awe and gratitude and love.

Mulder flexes his mouth and clenches his jaw, understanding her gesture, feeling its depths, and holding back a responding wave of emotion. When she finally separates, his jaw and lips remain tightly clenched.

Leaning her head against his, Scully attempts to center herself-- them-- with a slow, purposeful, breathy release.

Mulder’s eyes pop open at her exhale, an idea of his own taking shape; and closes them again briefly while his hands plunge forward for purchase on the back of her head.

Both pull back in sync; and Scully studies his face freely for the first time-- no pretenses between them, unashamed of the tear still clinging to her cheek.

The feeling of being precious to him, of seeing the proof of it in his eyes, nearly overwhelms her in a different teary direction; and she looks away to tamp down a giddy surge of joy. Turning back, her eyes glance at the one thing Mulder hasn't given her: his mouth.

Her expression drops slightly, becoming more serious as she weighs his present confession against his past retreats-- purposeful or not-- from more serious or passionate subjects (his sneer at her "date" in The Jersey Devil, his attempts to lighten the bent of her maternal considerations in Home, his idealized worship of doomed soulmates in The Field Where I Died, his blind run after monsters and initial avoidance of her cancer topic in Detour.) She looks back up from these unspoken observations… and finds Mulder openly eyeing her with want.

Scully freezes, shifting between his eyes in shock. What she sees is the truth; and, when his expression doesn't change, she slowly moves in a little closer.

Mulder’s eyes are hooded and tender, bearing his soul to Scully as he never has to a living soul-- to the one and only person who accepted his brokenness long ago, who trusts and believes in him regardless, and who, consequently, makes him wholly beautiful.

He is handing her his heart, complete.

His partner's undeniable, brazen reciprocation of his heartfelt confessions have stripped away the last of his halting considerations. Mulder begins to slowly pull her in, zeroing in on and maintaining laser-focus with her eyes for any signs of hesitation or rejection.

Scully, feeling his reciprocal move towards her, nearly loses control of her smile again; but lets it shine through her eyes as she keeps them locked onto his. Her eyebrows scrunch and her mouth tightens, powerful emotions tightening her chest: not only is she ready, she’s been hoping for this moment.  

Mulder continues to inch slowly forward, and she smooths out her face to further encourage him, getting lost in the moment as it continues to progress. 

He blinks, still moving at a snail’s pace, waiting and waiting and waiting for her to back away or tell him to stop. Expecting it. 

When she doesn’t he covers more ground, caressing her cheekbone as another small test before the kill shot. He gives her one last chance, catching her eye; and when she glances away only to look directly at his lips, they both prepare for his descent: Mulder closes his eyes, while Scully waits until completely certain he will follow-through.

Then the bee stings, and she startles away. 

Scully launches to the side-- “Ow!”-- while Mulder almost topples onto her, eyes still closed. He snaps back to reality as she clutches at the back of her neck, staring down at her hand in confusion before drawing away, misreading her quick reaction as the last minute rejection he’d been expecting. Again, he closes his eyes-- this time in chagrin-- and opens his mouth in disappointment and embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.   

“No,” Scully assures, indignant at the interruption, confused as she identifies its cause. "Something stung me."

Mulder takes in her reassurance; and as the rational part of his brain kicks in, he pulls his hand away from her neck, not wanting to get hurt by whatever injured Scully.

Scully extracts her unexpected passenger, staring at it, puzzled.

He examines it, too; then peels back her shirt collar to inspect the damage on her neck.

Risk assessment over, Mulder intuits, “He must got in your shirt.”

Disappointment and resignation pour from his voice as he rubs her neck and cradles her head, working his way back through the last minute mentally. Mulder's already accepted her assurance; but now has to process (and live with) the interruption of their first kiss.

And, of course: “Mulder…?”

“Yeah?”

“Something’s wrong.” 

Something's wrong, indeed.

CONCLUSION

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[heavenlyraindrops]

♱ Father Forgive Me (For I have Sinned) ~Chapter Twenty Six ~FINALE ♱

Lucifer Morningstar x Angel!Reader Fandom: Hazbin Hotel Chapter Twenty Six Warnings: profanity How to find the other chapters in my pinned post.

♱Where the purest soul in Heaven falls for the Devil♱

[Chapter Twenty Six]

“[name]! Dad!” Charlie adjusted her bow, as you and Lucifer appeared in the hotel lobby. You cleared your throat, smiling nervously as she approached. 

“Charlie,” Lucifer said smoothly. He looked at you. “This is [name]. You’ve met.”

“Yes.” Charlie looked at you apologetically. “Look, I’m so sorry for what Alastor did. I don’t really know-“ she waved her hands around, “-the basics of the… situation, but I am sorry.”

“Whatever he did isn’t yours to apologize for,” you reassured her, and she smiled weakly. 

“Yes, well…” Lucifer looked around, face expressionless. “Where is he, exactly?”

Charlie laughed nervously. “Dad…”

“I’m just asking.”

“Don’t do anything, please?”

He didn’t say anything.

“Look, Alastor is still useful to the hotel! And… you know how he is.” She looked at you. “I mean, how was he meant to know- I mean, he always does this, right? He likes to stir up drama.”

You frowned. She was making sense.

Alastor didn’t know of anything prior to your fall. He couldn’t have. All he saw was a frazzled girl to take advantage of and pit against his rival. 

“This doesn’t mean you should forgive him,” Charlie said quickly. “It’s just, this hotel is about second chances. Consider this his second chance?”

“Redemption was his second chance,” you said stiffly, crossing your arms. Charlie looked dejected, but Lucifer cut in quickly.

“I won’t try and hurt him, Apple Pie.”

You both exchanged a look. 

You went over to the couch, where Angel Dust was strewn out, his limbs draped over the sides as he scrolled on his phone. He looked up at you. 

“Hey.” He sat up quickly. “[name].”

You gave him a wan smile, sitting down. “It’s been a while, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that long.” He shuffled up the couch, drawing up his legs to make more space. “Sure does feel like a while, though.”

You hummed in agreement. “Say, where’s Alastor?”

Angel sat up straighter. “I betcha he’ll be out in a minute. Still sulking from that ass-kickin’ ya gave him.”

You both fell silent, and your phone pinged. You pulled it out to see Velvette’s number on your screen, a photo attached. You clicked on it. 

A selfie, her lips pushed together in a pout. In the background, Valentino was screaming at a very fed-up looking Vox.

The caption read: he got cancer in his balls. u ok now? xoxo 

A small laugh bubbled last your lips as you typed out your answer:

I’m fine now. Is that even possible with demons?

Her reply came immediately. idk. i dont think it’ll kill him tho :( he’ll prob just live w it forever. glad ur ok babes

“Angel,” you said, straightening up. He looked at you expectantly. “Valentino has testicular cancer.”

His lips stretched into a grin. “Seriously? Like, cancer in his dick?”

You snorted. “Yeah.”

You both burst into a fit of laughter, so much so that you didn’t notice when a static buzzing filled the air. You froze, looking up. 

“Alastor,” Angel said flatly.

Alastor smiled, although it was shaky, upon seeing you. “[name]!” He laughed, taking a sudden step back as you stood up, clenching your fists. Your nails cut into your palms. “What a pleasant surprise. I’m glad you’re alright after that unnecessary scuffle outside.”

“You…” your lip curled. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

You vaguely registered Charlie shouting desperately: “[name], no!” As you lunged towards him, forcing him down, hands closing around his neck. 

-

“You never fixed the window,” you remarked.

Lucifer looked at you, fondness still written all over his features as you picked your way around the empty room, careful not to step on any glass pieces. “It’s just the same,” you murmured. “This room.”

He stepped towards you, slipping his hand around your waist. “It is.”

It had been a week since you’d both left the hotel, no explanation given to any of the residents, instead replaced with an open, rather violent altercation with Alastor in the lobby. Charlie was certain Alastor had made a mistake, in his lust for “entertainment”, and hadn’t known the gravity of the situation. She was certain that he deserved a second chance. 

Despite all this, you’d still given him a beating that would keep him battered for at least a week. And on his toes around you for the rest of his afterlife. 

The light from the city filtered in, glinting off of the jagged remnants of the window pane, and bathed you and Lucifer both in red light. 

He turned to you. “[name].” You looked at him.

He sank down to one knee.

You stumbled back, hands flying to your mouth. “L-luci…”

“[name], me and you… we’ve known each other for so long. There’s been ups and downs- a lot of downs-“

You could feel tears springing to your eyes.

“But in the end, we’re still together.” He took in a deep breath. “Sometimes I was worried that it wasn’t meant to be- we were too far apart, too many bad things were happening to you, just because you were with me, but now…” 

He pulled out a small box.

“I know that’s wrong.”

A small golden ring glinted in the red light.

“[name], will you marry me?”

You stared at him in shock, knees going weak. “Yes. Oh my- yes!” 

He laughed, exhilarated and relieved as he stood up again to sweep you up in an embrace. You buried your face in his shoulder. “I love you,” he murmured against your skin. You pulled away, tears now freely streaking down your face as you looked at him. 

“I love you too,” you replied, and he took your hand, sliding the ring on. It fit perfectly. 

He grasped both your hands in his, looking at you, eyes brimming with adoration. You leaned over, pressing your lips against his. 

He let out a surprised noise, hands snaking around your waist as you cupped his cheek, both your lips moving together. You kissed him until you couldn’t breathe, until you pulled away, panting slightly. 

“I love you,” he repeated, as if saying it once wasn’t enough. You gave him a tearstained smile. 

“I love you too.”

-end-

[celestialdevils]

Cassandra Cain and Jason Todd Are Foils to One Another.

Cassandra Cain broke into a high max security prison to free a child murderer who was given the death penalty. “He could change,” she said. She did not know him. NO ONE DIES. NOT ONE PERSON. No matter what someone has done, Cassandra believe they can change. They can move forward. She won’t watch anyone lose their chance at redemption, no matter how difficult it is to find the solution. She knows how it feels to be murdered, a reflection she faced when she was eight, she knows it intimately, and assures not a single person will ever be killed while she watches.

She aims the streets as a child, alone, and in this she is cemented the value of life. That everyone deserves it. She finds a symbol to believe in, the symbol of founded by the man who will become her father. The symbol she will never go against, the one she desires more than anything to inherit.

Jason Todd forsakes his entire life, claws out of a coffin, rotting flesh and bone, to put down the evil that’s infected his city. “Don’t tell me the world isn’t better off,” he said. Some people cannot change. Some people are a cancer that will keep hurting and infecting until you cut them off. He won’t let the mass flail in pain over a problem he can solve so easily. He knows how it feels to to be murdered, a reality he faced when he was a child, he knows it intimately, and assures not a single innocent person will ever suffer because of someone he can kill, while he watches.

He aims the streets as a child, alone, and in this he is cemented the value of life. That not everyone deserves it. He finds a symbol to believe in, the symbol founded by the man who would become his father. The symbol he would go against, that he would do what it couldn’t.

Their morals are born of blood and compassion and a desire to protect others. Brother and sister. Successor and outcast.

[drwcn]

I know all of you are waiting for King Charles to die really quickly because he has cancer. But let me just burst your bubble a little bit.

He's not gonna die.

Prostate cancer especially early stage is definitely not going to kill him.

And How do I know it's early stage? because they literally thought they were bringing him into the operating theater for a TURP surgery (transurethral resection of prostate).........for benign prostate hyperplasia.

And I bet you the surgeon looked at it in real time was like hmm, it looks kind of funky and took some samples and sent to pathology and the pathologist went yeah never mind it's cancer.

TLDR these kind of cases have a really high survival rate. He's gonna hang around for a long time.

He has a higher chance of dying tmr from a stroke or heart attack than this prostate cancer.

[sapphic-agent]

Why is Simon able to see Maddie?

I've been thinking about it for a while, and I think I might have an answer.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Let's start with what I don't think it is. I'm 99% sure that it's not because Simon's dying. There's speculation that he has a tumor or undiagnosed cancer causing him to slowly die and that's why he's able to see Maddie. But I have two issues with that:

Why is he only able to see Maddie? If him approaching death is what enables him to see and talk with a ghost, why is that only extended to one ghost? At the very least, wouldn't he have some kind of connection with the other ghosts? Maybe if not outright seeing them, then sensing their presence or something? But he's never given any indication they're there, we've seen that. If he was dying, he'd have a connection to the entire metaphysical plane, not just Maddie.

Why does he only start seeing her at that exact moment in season 1? If he was dying, wouldn't it have been sooner? Maddie was "dead" for three days before Simon saw her. And it was only at this specific time that he was able to do so.

What this tells me is that this isn't possible because of anything from Simon's end. Or, not completely from his end.

To answer this question, we need to look at the only other instance of a living person and ghost interacting. What enabled Maddie to see Janet and Mr. Martin arguing? What allowed Janet to steal Maddie's body in the first place?

I think it's a combination of things. Mr. Martin says to Janet, "What did you feel? You have to tell me." This implies that she did something that was completely unexpected by him. We don't know what it was exactly, but we can assume that it has to do with blurring the lines between life and death even if it was just a little. But I don't think it was just this that allowed Maddie to see her and Mr. Martin.

When Maddie describes her altercation with her mother to Simon, she says very deliberately, "She killed my spirit." Maddie wasn't just feeling upset in that boiler, she was broken. A lifetime of being battered down by her mother's alcoholism and negligence and this was the final straw. She wasn't physically dead at that point, but emotionally she might as well have been.

I think that these two things happening at the same time created a sort of passageway between Maddie and the metaphysical plane. The hollowness Maddie was feeling coincided with whatever Janet had done to blur those lines, and that's how Janet was able to push her soul out.

Now, if I'm right about all of that, what does that have to do with Simon?

Well, remember what Simon said to Ms. Fields, "I don't know how I'm going to survive this place without her." It's important to remember that Simon had a feeling she was dead, or at the very least seriously hurt/in trouble. He accepted the possibility of her being gone as fact, which is why he never questions her being a ghost. It isn't such a stretch to assume that he was feeling the same hollowness that Maddie was concerning her mother.

(This also answers why he was the only one. Sandra and Nicole still believed Maddie was alive, they weren't broken in the way that Simon was. And when Sandra did receive the news that there was a good chance Maddie was dead, she was at home, not the school. So her and Maddie wouldn't have been able to connect the way her and Simon did. Also, Maddie's relationship with her mother is very complicated. They don't have anything close to the bond that her and Simon do)

But like I said above, the connection has to be on both sides. Not only did Maddie watch him have this breakdown and was probably feeling similarly to him in that moment, she also had a tether to the living world; her body. So, the combination of their emotional bond, Simon's emptiness when faced with a world without her, and Maddie still technically being alive allowed them to connect past the limitations of death

[froody]

every doctor’s show has an episode where a grown ass patient is a Jehovah’s Witness and there’s a doctor shitting and throwing up and crying because they can’t give them blood, looking for loopholes to go against the patient’s faith. and we’re supposed to sympathize with this doctor and go “yes violating this person’s medical autonomy is so morally upright and understandable” that’s crazy to me. if someone wants to live or die on thoughts and prayers then just let them. it’s different if it’s a child with parents willfully killing them or something that effects public health like an antivaxxer but a grown adult choosing to die alone on a hill it is squarely their fucking business. That’s one less Watch Tower Society brochure on your door.

OR what’s even worse is an episode where there’s a character who is super sick but has a technically treatable cancer and they’ve decided to stop care and enjoy the rest of their days instead of repeatedly irradiating themself. And there’s a doctor who’s like “this simply won’t do I won’t listen to you you have to put your body through hell for your 22% 5 year survival rate chance”

[heteromerous-rhyming]

i'm unleashing my inner academic i'm so sorry all.

in "Pacific-Asian Immigrant and Refugee Women Who Kill Their Batterers: Telling Stories that Illustrate the Significance of Specificity" julia tolmie writes: the true significance of this evidence for the purpose of the accused's self-defence case is properly understood only when it is explicitly understood in light of her unique positioning.

this is an article written in 1997 and it details two trials - muy ky chhay, an immigrant woman from cambodia, and jai fong zhou, an immigrant woman from china. (if you're interested at all please give it a read, it's available for download if you search up the title) they were both put on trial for the murder or attempted murder of their husbands, their abusers. the article is compelling on a number of levels but one of the parts of this article that pierced me through was tolmie's centering of these women and their narratives and their testimonies. you can see throughout this article tolmie's commitment to foregrounding the stories of these women, you can see that she's done what she can to research and understand, to show them as individuals first. (i will never be sane about this, do you understand)

that is to say: riordan was much more radical twenty years ago.

i will not be comparing the cases of these women to sally jackson's fictional situation. that would diminish them, the reality of their cases.

but what i do want to do is use tolmie's methodology. i want to show the significance of specificity in sally jackson's case. tolmie organizes her article into sections, and i wanted to take a few of them to look at sally jackson. so. without further ado:

1. the accused's credibility

sally jackson has no family, no one to vouch for her. it is clear throughout the lightning thief that she's isolated - and this is in contrast to gabe, who is surrounded by his poker friends constantly. she got her diploma late because she couldn't finish high school due to needing to take care of her uncle with cancer, who then died leaving her with nothing. she was young when she had percy, and never married the man who fathered him.

in the eyes of this world, sally jackson would be often overlooked, dismissed, disdained. she wanted to be a novelist, she had passion and ambition, but these were beaten down by the world. she barely got her high school degree, there's no chance that she, a single mother, gets a high paying job, so she's working at a candy shop. a job that whether or not she enjoys was not what she'd worked towards. audre lorde speaks about the difficulty of working women to write novels in "age, race, class, and sex" because of the material demands of that process. sally jackson cannot write a novel - she's working a job that cannot possibly pay her enough for her and percy to survive in new york and she's a single mother caring for a child that the schools will often describe as "a troubled kid."

not only that - sally jackson finds it difficult to make friends, because percy is not a normal child. he's a demigod. those first few years, though we don't know much about them, must have been terrifying. she's in contact with camp, chiron probably advises her to give up her son so they can stop attracting monsters, but she refuses. she calls this choice selfish. but it is so increasingly clear that percy is one of the only bright and joyful parts left in her life, that percy is who she lives for.

she chose percy. chose to raise him, chose to protect him, chose to keep him close.

2. evidence of the deceased's violence

gabe ugliano (the name is on the nose and i'm living for it) is the manager of the electronics mega-mart in queens (i have no clue what this company is but ok) he clearly has more money than sally, and i would venture to assume that the lease for the apartment is also in his name (though i also assume that sally is paying for a good amount of that apartment). that is to say, gabe has significantly more power and "respectability" in the eyes of society than sally. he's probably the reason that they're financially afloat. despite all of this, despite the fact that gabe has a clearly expensive car, he does not ever offer to cover sally's financial situation. she's still working a likely minimum wage job even though it is probably that gabe could support all three of them with his.

it is evident, from percy's first interaction with him in the books, that gabe is financially controlling and greedy. he's not stupid (at least in this regard); he works out (with an ease that implies habit) exactly how much money percy likely has. and then he takes it. it is likely that gabe also does this to sally. it is likely that he knows exactly how much money sally makes and regularly attempts to control how much she can save (think: the money for montauk came out of sally's "clothes budget"). he restricts her movement ("my mom and I hadn’t been to montauk the last two summers, because gabe said there wasn’t enough money.")

when sally returns from the underworld, gabe forces her to work to make up for the month's salary she "lost."

this is also when percy realizes that gabe hits his mother. canonically, gabe physically abuses sally. can we assume that maybe sally has been taking hits for percy? perhaps. it is clear that percy didn't realize that gabe was physically violent towards his mother, so i assume that gabe never hit percy. we don't know the extent of his physical violence. we don't need to; regardless sally jackson is in a situation where that threat of physical violence is constantly hanging over her head.

3. the accused's options in dealing with the deceased's violence

sally stays with gabe because of a myriad of reasons, most relating to what i have described above in section 2 but also, crucially, because of the protection he offers percy due to his smell.

sally isn't weak-willed. she isn't irrational. she might plead with percy to not antagonize gabe, but that's survival instinct. she understands pretty clearly her situation.

she knows how difficult it is for a single mother to survive on her own with a child. she knows how impossible it would be to do so with a child of the big three, without combat skills, without the disguise of humanness. perhaps she's resigned herself to the fact that there is no other way. perhaps she thinks that this is punishment for keeping percy close.

she cannot divorce him; he'd oppose that, and he has the financial means to hire a lawyer. and after divorce, where would she go? without the means to support herself and percy, without a support network, what options does she have?

she cannot leave, cannot call the police. she still needs to take care of percy, she still needs a place to stay.

and yet, despite all of this, at the end of the book sally makes the choice to kill gabe. she takes back agency into her own hands, and despite the financial uncertainty, despite all of the reasons that she couldn't leave, she takes her life into her own hands. not only that, but his death leads to her financial liberation.

perhaps this was due to percy finally ending up at camp, finally having that concrete safety net to fall back on. perhaps this was because gabe threatened to call the police on percy, perhaps this was because gabe fueled the terrorist accusations, perhaps any number of things.

all this to say. somehow, riordan, a white cis man, twenty years ago, managed to capture in sally jackson something real. he managed to show the structural inequities that she faced, her lack of options, and gabe's abuse in a book meant for children. in a book meant for twelve-year-olds.

and this was without explicitly showing any physical violence from gabe.

sally jackson's story is engaging because we understand somehow, despite the majority of us condemning murder, why she killed her abuser. we understand that this isn't just a toxic relationship, that this isn't a situation that sally can just leave, that both real and fantastical forces combined compel her to stay, and we cheer for her.

i want to end this unfortunately long post with a quote from tolmie, from the article i started off with:

"It has been suggested that women rarely succeed in arguing self-defense because legal doctrines and notions of what is "reasonable" do not encompass the realities of women's lives."

what better way than to break this doctrine of "reasonability" through the lens of a fantasy world.