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verobatto · 5 years ago

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Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XXV)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

There was no time to say 'I'm sorry'

(7x01/7x02/7x03/7x05)

Hello my dears!! This is a new meta from my Destiel Chronicles. We will start with season 7, is gonna be a short road, I calculated a total number of six metas, so.

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder , she made the gifs for this era and discussed some matters.

Okay! Let's start!

You're Not my Cas

After Cas became Godstiel, Dean noticed the big change. He wasn't Cas anymore, even his voice was different, and he'd said Dean wasn't his family.

In episode 7x01 Meet the New Boss (written by Sera Gamble) he have Dean trying to avoid Castiel's topic by trying to fix Baby (a symbolic representation of Dean's heart). Baby is broken, like Dean (bc of CAS) and he's trying to endure it. And he uses this as a distraction too. That's why when Bobby came to see him, he asked him...

BOBBY: So, you fixin' her or primal screamin'?

This is a great point of view here, if Baby is Dean's heart and he's trying to fix it. He's yelling at it. To get better quickly. To forget about Cas and his betrayal. To recognize Castiel isn't his Cas anymore. And now he's a monster and he has to stop him.

Then they start to talk about Cas, and this is the interesting part...

BOBBY: I don't even know what books to hit for this, Dean.

DEAN: Well, figure it out! I'm sorry. This ain't in no book. If you stick your neck out, Cas steps on it. So you know what I'm gonna do?

BOBBY: What?

DEAN: Imma fix this car. Because that's what I can do. I can work on her 'til she's mint. And when Sam wakes up, no matter what shape he's in, we'll glue him back together too. We owe him that.

Again, the car, his heart. He's gonna fix it, because he needs that fixed and patched, and renewed because he knows what he has to do about Cas. So he needs not to feel a thing about him.

He knows how to do that. How to fix things that hurts his heart... He pushed those things down, and deep... But he won't be able this time ( as he will say it in 7x17), because is Cas.

Then, Sam wakes up and...

Again to the car. Because Sammy put his finger in that wound... And Dean is still trying to fix it...

And Because you're not him, I'll try to kill you

Ok, now... The News...

And Dean shutting down the TV because, he knows Cas is young and sexy, he knows more than anyone, because he feels sexually attracted to him, but that, isn't Cas, so... Stop saying things I know about my Cas, I know he's hot, but this one, isn't my Cas.

He shuts the TV, angry and hurted, and he goes to fix his Baby/Heart again.

But while he's fixing Baby, he's hearing the new on the radio, to follow Castiel's steps... Godstiel is targeting motivational speakers.

SAM: Motivational speakers?

DEAN: Yeah, I'm not sure new Cas gets irony any better than old Cas. Of course, old Cas wouldn't smite Madison Square Garden just to prove a point. He is off the deep end of the deep end. And there's no slowing down.

Dean was able now to separate OLD CAS (his Cas) and NEW CAS (the monster they have to kill). His brain is doing this to help him to take the hard decision.

But Sam is the one here that can't lose his faith on Cas, he tries twice to convince his brother to speak again with Godstiel, and Dean explodes, because he was trying so hard to take this decision, and he doesn't need hopes or faith in Cas again.

SAM: Okay.

DEAN: Hand me that socket wrench.

The car again. His heart.

Dean is spilling the very hurtful thoughts he was ruminating the whole time while fixing his car/heart, yeah, that's the thing that huts him so much, Cas isn't coming back. This is not Cas. He betrayed us.

And then, when he vomited all that, he came back to fix his heart, trying hard to do it. The symbolism is exquisite and sad at the same time.

Then, Dean devised a plan to kill Godstiel by slaving Death. They asked Crowley's help, and they summoned Death.

And Godstiel enters in action again. And when se sees what Dean was doing... He said this...

CASTIEL: I didn't want to kill you, but now...

DEAN: You can't kill us.

CASTIEL: You've erased any nostalgia I had for you, Dean.

So... Godstiel had some nostalgia about Dean, because when he was CAS, they shared something profound. Is like someone remembering his ex.

But he gets more mad at Dean when the hunter orders Death to kill him, look at Godstiel's face. And look at Dean face. He's able to do that bc he had in his head a voice repeating him He's Not My Cas.

He can't believe Dean wants to kill him.

He vanished, and Dean's hopes to defeat him too. Even with Death giving them another plan... Dean is devastated.

Sam still believes in Cas

Then Dean is drinking, because he lost any hopes, but Sam, He's trying hard. He still believes in Cas, he has hopes, so he prays to him...

SAM: Hey, Castiel. Um... Maybe this is pointless. Look... I don't know if any part of you even cares, but, um, I still think you're one of us, deep down. I mean, way, way, way off the reservation, but... Look, we still have till dawn to stop this. Let us help. Please.

Sam believed Cas is still there, his part of the Team Free Will. And he had right there.

Castiel came back to his senses when he gets possesed by the Leviathans he carried inside of him. He lost control and kills innocent people. That's what makes Cas coming back. His vessel is very damaged, but he listened Sammy's prayers... And he went to him.

Dean is there too, look at his worried face, looking at Cas in that shape, and the camera focused on him immediately after showing us Cas. Is because his reaction is more important than Sammy's. But Cas was answering Sammy's prayers, so he named just Sam. Because Sam still believes in him. And Castiel asks for help.

There was not time

When they were about to re open the doorway to Purgatory, Castiel is ashamed and he wants to ask for forgiveness, but there's not time.

CASTIEL: If there was time, if I was strong enough, I'd -- I'd fix him now. I just wanted to make amends before I die.

DEAN: Okay.

CASTIEL: Is it working?

DEAN: Does it make you feel better?

CASTIEL: No. You?

DEAN: Not a bit.

A huge thing like this doesn't fix in seconds, or minutes. It requires time to talk. But they didn't have that. Cas was trying to use the few seconds he knew he had to give a good end to that. He knew he was about to die. So he tried hard, but human's feelings are not that easy to fix. Even Cas was experimenting those human's feelings too.

When they opened the gate, and Cas was about to expell the would into the Purgatory, he gave what they thought was one last look at Dean... And he said it...

With such sorrowful face, Dean echoing the sadness in his face too. A painful ending? Not... There will be more ...

Castiel's Death

Cas fell to the ground, and Dean is terrified.

DEAN: Cas?

BOBBY: He's cold.

DEAN: Is he breathing?

BOBBY: No.

Okay, this is Dean denying Castiel is dead. Bobby said HE'S COLD, and Dean was like is he breathing? And when Bobby said he didn't, Dean went with that excuse... And Bobby had to be more specific. Cas is gone.

And Dean breaks in anger again... But not for so long... Because CAS wakes up.

DEAN: Damn it. Cas, you child. Why didn't you listen to me? Cas?! Hey! Hey! Okay. All right.

The reproaches again

CASTIEL: That was unpleasant.

And again, for a few seconds before the Leviathans take control over Castiel's vessel, he tries to enmend things with Dean. Is the only thing he had in his head an heart.

CASTIEL: I'm ashamed. I really overreached.

DEAN: You think?

CASTIEL: I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.

(And he will by the end of this season 😏)

DEAN: All right, well, one thing at a time. Come on. Let's get you out of here. Come on.

Dean is not saying he won't forgive him. He just need him to be safe. He died and now he's back. He knows they can fix things... But is sad... Because the Leviathans made his entrance right in that moment.

In episode 7x02 Hello Cruel world, Castiel dies.

We had Cas dying in that river... And the scene with Dean taking his trenchcoat. He lost Cas again. This time for real.

He breaks...

And Bobby tries to comfort him, as he will do through the whole season...

DEAN: Okay. So he’s gone.

The sadness in Dean's face is huge.

BOBBY: Well, he was friends with us, wasn’t he? Can’t get much dumber than that.

After this, Sam and Bobby are worried about Dean, and Bobby tries to talk with him, but Dean avoids the topic faking he's ok, as always.

DEAN: (...) I’m not Sam, okay? I keep my marbles in a lead friggin' box. I’m fine. Really.

BOBBY Of course. Yeah. You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine.

Then Sam and Bobby sent Dean to a hunt alone, because they knew he needed some distraction. They knew Dean was grieving, in his weird way to grieve.

We will see Dean drinking a lot of alcohol in the nexts episodes as a scape from his thoughts. This Will be very recurrent in this season.

Mirroring Destiel

I'm gonna talk in this last section about two Destiel mirrors in the following episodes to Castiel death.

One was settled in episode 7x03 The Girl Next Door.

If you recall this episode was Sammy's first love when he was a teenager and he was hunting.

But first of all I want to mention some interesting scene, Dean had a fracture after fighting with one of the strongest Leviathans (Edgard) in Bobby's place. His house was burnt and they thought Bobby was dead (foreshadow of it ofc), but when they were in Rufus's cabin, Dean was watching a Latin novel, and Bobby enters and this was the peculiar dialogue...

DEAN Dude... Ricardo.

BOBBY What happened?

DEAN Suicidio.

BOBBY Adiós, ese.

DEAN looks very moved at what has happened on the screen.

Ok, why would I put this here? There was a woman embracing his dead lover in her arms, crying bc he had committed suicide. And Dean was moved about that.

Lovers separation by death of one of them... Suicide specifically, like Leviathan!Cas killing himself in the river... Do you got the picture here?

And btw Sam goes to the groceries shop, Dean asked pie but. .

DEAN Where's the pie?

SAM I got cake. It's close enough, right?

Okay... Dean ate the cake... If we know the cake represents Dean's queerness and hanger for CAS... 😏

Okay, back to Sam again...

He was hunting a Kitsune, but he fell in love with the Kitsune's daughter.

When her mother discover that she tried to kill little Sammy, but the girl stabbed her in the heart. (Hello Destiel recalling).

She rebelled against her mother and her lore for Sam. (Sounds familiar?)

When Dean discovers Sam didn't finish his job again he decides to kill her.

Because he knows how hard is try to kill the person you're in love with, even when that person becomes a monster... He knows.

So he did it instead Sammy. And he lies to him. That will be one of the topics for the whole Wincest subtext (very blantant this season).

Ok... Jumping now to episode 7x05 Shut up Dr. Phil ...

Remember this one, two witches in love, they were a couple for centuries... They were fighting because Maggie Stark (the witch) thought Don Stark (his husband) was cheating on her (misscomunication) and Sam and Dean get in the middle and they decided to interview. And read what Dean said... People... He's talking about his experience with Castiel here...

DEAN:Look – obviously, you two are capable of wiping each other out, right? But you haven't, huh? Which means that you two – you still value whatever it is you got. A-and you want keep that dance going. Maybe it's – maybe it's punishment. Maybe it's – it's sick, messed-up, erotic, kinky, clamps and feathers kind of love.

What-the-hell!!???? I said to myself... Do I need to add something here? He said fighting is sick, messed up erotic/kinky/feathers and love in the same sentence!

Ok Dean... Tell us more... 🤣🤣🤣

This line was juicy...

To Conclude:

Castiel's death was a huge traumatic experience that leads him to depression and alcoholism, but he pushed that down and avoided it as always.

There was two Destiel mirrors in the two following episodes after Castiel's death reflecting their story and Dean's inner truly and repressed feelings for him.

I hope you enjoy this first meta from season 7! C-u in the next Chronicles!

Tagging @weirddorkylittlediana @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73

If you want to be tagged in this metas just let me know!

Buenos Aires August 21st 2019 8:48 PM

#destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #vol. xxv #season 7 meta

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charmers-kpop · 5 years ago

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✨🌀🌊🐳

{ Basics }

• Birth Name // Matsuzaki Fumiko {松崎文子}

↪Japanese: ‘pine tree cape’. This name is found mostly in both the Tōkyō area and on the island of Kyūshū

↪From Japanese 文 (fumi) meaning to "sentence" and 子 (ko) meaning "child."

• Other Name(s) // --

• Stage Name // Fumiko

↪'Fumi-unnie', 'Team Too Posh', 'Fumiko-chan', 'Fumi-zumi', 'Mama Long Neck'

• Birth Date // 10:03AM. October 28th (dd. Nov 25), 1999

↪Scorpio, the Scorpion

↪Due to complications with her mother's placenta placement, she had to endure a C-section, along with being 4 weeks born prematurely.

• Birth Place // Shinjuku, Japan

• Heritage // 100% Japanese

{ Career }

• Profession // Rapper, vocalist, singer-songwriter

• Band/Group // CHARMERS (매혹하는)

• Position // Main Rapper, Lead Vocalist

• Agency // HeartEater Events & Artist Management

• Training Period // 1 year, 3 months

{ Personality }

{+} Organized | Diligent | Gentle

• Fumiko knows that the best way to complete a task is by being organized. Planning out every hour of the day in order to get the most out of life. She finds having a schedule and weekly planning to be rather cathartic and eases her soul when she knows what happens next in her schedule. Her members often talk about their future plans casually without thinking too much, meanwhile Fumiko planned her life out up til the day she dies, and at first it's odd but the members get used to hearing her ask what's next in the schedule. She feels complete with a plan and always sticks to it like glue.

• When Fumiko has a goal, she is laser focused on it and will push herself past her own limits if it means success. She was always taught that her sex was deemed inferior in the business world so she always has to try 10 times harder then the boys, and she's willing to do that even if she knows that it's a very sexist way of thinking with a small sliver of truth behind it. Being surrounded by diligent people also pushed her limits to do everything and succeed in it, which is why she is very multitalented in various things.

• Fumiko is usually strict on herself but when it came to others, she takes on a whole different approach. She is instead laid back and more gentle, a trait she's learnt being a woman and being around sensitive people, mainly women. She herself feels empathy towards other's suffering and often is obliged to help them out and give them some sort of moral support even if she cannot directly relate to what said others are suffering about. She still tries her best and hoped that it showed.

{<} Passive | Picky Romantic | Mature

• Her quiet nature can easily be misconstrued as reserved or even standoffish seeing as she rarely talks. Still, she does enjoy being around people, even if she doesn’t contribute to the conversation in any way. Fumiko has always been a rather passive soul. She isn’t one to start a fight or an argument and will only fight back in order to defend herself. The only times she will be the aggressor is if someone were to hurt or threaten someone she cares about. She will often take a backseat in conversations, activities, even battle if she can.

• Despite all this, Fumiko is a hopeless romantic who thinks Shojou mangas are accurate depictions of romance. Because of this she has a tendency to develop crushes, multiple ones, at a ridiculous rate. This could be her peers, famous people, or characters from shows and books. These crushes are to be taken lightly though— because even Fumiko herself doesn’t even consider them serious. She is, rather, extremely picky with whom she would consider date material as she has a whole list of traits she wants in a man (or woman, if given the chance) that spans pages and often contradicts herself in her diary.

• For most of her life, Fumiko has been expected to be mature and disciplined. She is used to being treated as an adult and treating her like a teenager will likely upset her. Since interactions with children or people her age were almost nonexistent, she tends to treat everyone as an adult and is confused by immaturity. Resulting in this, she never understood the point of whining about things, petty fights, unprofessionalism or even simply memes because she's a dense as a brick when it came to those especially

{–} Unforgiving | Stubborn | Secretive

•Everything needs to be in place, the dominoes must fall according to her dictation, and therefore life must play to her liking. If Fumiko's thought through a plan, she's thought through it a thousand times and if anything fails, it frustrates her and she tends to punish herself mentally, verbally, and physically. She's unforgiving of her own mistakes and is less forgiving of repeated mistakes whether it was on her behalf or someone else she is close with. This leads into an obsessive downward spiral of self esteem. Though when it comes to the mistakes of others, she’s more forgiving for a first offense and will offer corrective help—whether they want it or not. But continued mistakes will often be taken as an intentional insult against her which will result in the most cold, awkward and silent treatment in this plane of fricken existence.

• Fumiko's a stubborn soul who is rooted in the 'this is how I do things' mindset and follows the beat of her own drum. If she thinks she's right, it'll take a lot of evidence to make her think otherwise. Whether that be tied to religion, science or just any kind of resource, you better bring a whole Illiad's worth of information to feed into this stubborn mind. Her stubbornness isn’t loud or obvious. Instead she’s a quiet and passive person who’s stubbornness can be seen in her silent disobedience or an obvious look of "I see you speak but I’m not listening."

• Despite her gentle and soft outward exterior, Fumiko keeps everyone at arm's length and holds her cards close to her chest. She's reserved with her true emotions and dislikes nosy people who wish to see past the mask. She's been taken advantage of for having a heart on your sleeve attitude and so she prefers to just keep everyone out of the loop of what happens in her mind because she deems it irrelevant and unnecessary.

{ Trivia }

• She's actually hardcore questioning her sexuality after she met the Crackheads of CHARMERS.

• (but tbh she's into those types too sksk)

• She stumbled upon HeartEater when she was looking for an entertainment label to train in since she only wanted to gain experience in producing rap tracks but ended up finding herself in vocal and dance classes, and soon in a girl group with other women. So it just happened and she took the opportunity

• Fumiko was last to come into her group as she had almost no knowledge of the Korean language but was learning day and night throughout her training period to get the basics down and once she was put in the final lineup, she didn't feel as alone anymore.

• Being allergic to fur meant that Fumiko can't go too close to Pearl's dog Theia without the urge to sneeze and get skin irritations, so to have something alive from home with her in the dorm and also give the dog a playmate, she brought her 1 and a half year old female calico Devon Rex named Kaeru.

• She found Kaeru off the side of a road in a box and adopted her when no one else wanted to just because she needed a little tummy surgery.

• She found it peculiar that someone would throw out a kitten, mind you a sickly kitten, that 1. Would be expensive to buy from a breeder because of their high rarity and 2. Would be sold at high prices in Japan at auctions, when they could be making hundreds of thousands of Yen if they were smart and chose to keep and take care of the kitten in the first place.

• She will also sometimes read her mangas and watch some documentaries as well as anime with the girls.

• She was nicknamed 'Mama Long Neck' for the distance between her jaw and her shoulders and how her short hair accentuated how long her neck was. Fumiko herself found it weird that the girls would choose something so weird to name her after, but after a while she didn't think too much of it.

• She always says that she prefers short hair as it was easier for her to move around and do things without feeling hot in the neck and back area as well as having it fly all over her face when she performs.

• She and Nerissa are a part of 'Team Too Posh' for their 'uptight' personality traits and behaviours around the group and just new people in general.

• She HATES psychologists and psychiatrists with her whole life. She just sees them as over glorified mind readers, but if she were to meet one in person, she'd be agreeing to their professional opinion because she doesn't wanna be a dick (hYpOcRiTe)

• She hates the idea of being able to read minds and body language because she's afraid of being predictable and vulnerable to those around her, which is why she keeps everyone (except Kaeru of course) at arm's length

• Favorite food: Salmon

• Favorite drink: Any kind of herbal tea

• Her current concerns: how to keep Kaeru from randomly licking the dirty ass fLOOR–

• Her future goals: to be able to produce good and enjoyable music for years to come

#charmers #tokyokocnet #kumokocnet #lofikocnet #pinkocnet #woopkocnet #kpop #kpopidol #kpop icons #kpop oc #kpop girl groups

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: never seen a kid 😢 at a haircut Jimmy: before you say owt, it ain't even done yet so it don't look shit Janis: Poor Bobs Janis: bribe him with sweets after like it's the dentist Janis: I can get some on my way back Jimmy: throw him at your family pinging and well mad fer the party 😂 Jimmy: tah for the invite lads Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you know Janis: can't get him on the pre drinks so Jimmy: I'll set him up with a shot glass full of fizzy pop Jimmy: sorted Janis: 🙌 Janis: party don't stop Janis: what about Twix Janis: she'll feel left out Jimmy: 🎶 or start til you walk in, babe #obvs Jimmy: 💔🐶🎻 Jimmy: I'd reckon on letting her trash the place but that's any day she's left alone for 1 sec Janis: Naturally Janis: why else would I need to be there so bad Janis: she's just bored #relatable Jimmy: life and soul, my dear Jimmy: you and your true love wasted on this place Janis: sad but #truthbomb Janis: [sends him socials of the decor that are already up] Janis: I know I've been telling you but seriously Janis: see and believe and prepare Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: too late to ask 💀👑 to be your date instead or what? Janis: hmm Janis: would probably be my easy ticket out Janis: and she'd be thrilled for so many reasons Jimmy: crack on then Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, no challenge in it Janis: only a further challenge on my sanity, like Jimmy: turn round, I've sent the orchestra after you Jimmy: Bob's gonna save you a tissue an' all Janis: lovely Janis: just one he's not blown his nose in, tah Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: buy us 🚬 when you're at the shop Jimmy: 🤞💀💀💀 Janis: sure Janis: death pact sounds good rn Jimmy: right there next to you, Juliet Jimmy: headfirst off the balcony if nowt else Janis: honestly Janis: love to fuck up their marble floor Jimmy: least if you play up enough you might get a new pony out of it Jimmy: fuck knows where we'll put it but the kids will be #buzzing Janis: piss off Janis: don't even like horses Janis: or you Jimmy: I know that's bollocks, rich girl Janis: glue factory, both of yous Jimmy: 💕🐴 Jimmy: 💕😎 Jimmy: I'll buy you a heart shaped locket when our #truelove turns 1 Jimmy: space with pics for all your faves Janis: 😒 Janis: I'll throw it into the ocean Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: gonna make me 😢😢 too Janis: s'alright, draw a masterpiece and I'll share the door Janis: don't hate you either, not completely Jimmy: every bit's a masterpiece with you as my muse, baby Jimmy: 🥇🎨 Janis: gonna get whiplash if you keep doing these 180s boy Jimmy: get you out of this party, won't it? 😘 Janis: your plan all along Janis: 💔 me so I've got a get out of jail free card Janis: not worked for Gracie, like Jimmy: gotta be 💕 to get 💔 Janis: she was Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: our fake was realer than that Janis: not with him, obviously Janis: 💀👑💕 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you know it's real Janis: as real as she gets Jimmy: a love story to rival me and my ex that one Jimmy: bout as many break and make ups as we had too, like Janis: I wouldn't try and console her Janis: never get away Janis: more 😭 than the kid Jimmy: I can't 💪 and 🤐 you said Jimmy: I ain't cuddling her Janis: better not Jimmy: not in my 💰💰 party clothes, tah Jimmy: wouldn't be 💋 on my collar, it'd be half her face Janis: 😂 Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: I'm not trying to find out what she #wakesuplike or owt else Jimmy: 💔 Gracie I know Janis: 😏 reckon she's over it, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💔 I know Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: [sends selfies that Bobby has taken of himself post haircut] Jimmy: heartbreaker not heartbroken now he is Jimmy: he needed you to see ALL 23 of them identical pics so he reckoned Janis: He looks so good Janis: very 😎 Jimmy: using every bit of my 💪 to stop him taking my phone to give you a bell Janis: n'awh he can if he wants Janis: am at the shop so get your order in Jimmy: [cute little phone call moment including Jimmy telling Bobby to ask her to buy all kinds of silly stuff cos nerd] Janis: [so cute, when they'd all be used to each other now and like a mini fam soz ian not soz] Jimmy: [even Cass would like Janis by now, such a squad, fuck off Ian] Janis: [get her something for dinner just in case 'cos too cool for this party obvs] Jimmy: [and we know Ian ain't gonna give a shit as long as he's okay himself so] Janis: actually 😍 Jimmy: how soon can we palm him off though? Jimmy: doing my head in if he ain't yours Janis: so mean, you Janis: go 'head and wish for this party to start tho Jimmy: you're alright Janis: mhmm Janis: this is gonna be a disaster, not even a funny one Jimmy: what's the scale? Janis: you wanna hear about the worst party this family has ever, like? Janis: 'cos you need to give me like 3-5 working days to work that out Jimmy: just working out if today's the day for us to say yeah to drugs instead of nah or if decimating Ian's drink supply before he gets back will do Janis: no doubt they'll have it out like hors d'oeuvres Janis: rich people Jimmy: what the fuck are them? Jimmy: I know that weren't paddy lingo but you still lost me Janis: party food Janis: pineapple and cheese on a stick but make it 💸 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: brush some edible gold leaf on it Janis: exactly Janis: make some poor cunt in a tux hand it out Janis: they aren't quite that level, well Janis: I don't think they'll have 'staff' anyway or 🤢 Jimmy: could've had a word for me, babe Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: missing out on a lot of tips to be there Janis: if you really wanna make it weird, I'll pay you myself Janis: idiot Jimmy: I've been waiting ages to unlock that final kink of yours Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: There you go then Janis: all comes out Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: really cheered me that has Janis: you'll forgive me for the hors d'oeuvres then Janis: so glad Jimmy: put a bit more work in and I might Janis: you work, I pay Janis: silly Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: keep giving them orders, girl Janis: 😏 Janis: if we didn't have somewhere to be Jimmy: we don't yet Janis: no, but you can't actually ditch bobs Jimmy: I'll throw him at Cass for a bit when we get back, she's getting time off later Janis: True Janis: not above it but not ideal getting drunk enough to deal in front of him, like Jimmy: I'm texting her now Jimmy: and we're on the bus Jimmy: be home well soon Janis: 👍 Janis: race you there Jimmy: piss off I ain't driving the bus Jimmy: that ain't fair Janis: if you ain't up to the challenge Janis: 😂 Jimmy: leave it out or you ain't getting your present Janis: locket? Jimmy: not what I've got in my pocket right now but I love that you're thinking long term Jimmy: very keen you Janis: 🤔👀 Jimmy: you gonna guess or what? Janis: 🍾 Janis: umm Janis: did you get some shampoo Janis: idk Jimmy: my subtle hint that you need to sort yourself out, like Jimmy: not that much of a dickhead Janis: I've got no clue Jimmy: Are you telling me you wanna shower with me? 'Cause not fuming about it Janis: I was thinking where you was last but you know Janis: can't show up stinking can we Jimmy: If getting kicked out is the goal, probably should Jimmy: but I Janis: wanna give me my present Janis: I get it Jimmy: and you want it off me Janis: yeah Janis: I do Jimmy: you're so Janis: you Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext because always and any opportunity] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: what? Janis: just Janis: be here now Jimmy: just wait for me Jimmy: won't be as long as it feels Janis: I miss you Jimmy: I want you Janis: as soon as you're back Janis: 'til the last possible minute Jimmy: Yeah Janis: didn't want to go but now I really, really don't wanna go anywhere but the shower, like Jimmy: Ian ain't there to bang on the door, it's alright Janis: 😏 maybe he's just trying to keep us in time Janis: helpful, really Jimmy: sounds proper fake that Janis: probably Janis: just tryna spread those posi vibes Janis: you know me, babe Jimmy: such a ray of sunshine you Jimmy: what I'm always telling people that is Janis: awh, who you talkin' 'bout me to, boy? Jimmy: the 🌏 babe Janis: 😍 #thatdemotho Janis: you spoil me Janis: that my gift, yeah? #freepromo Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: know the way to your 💘 Janis: just can't quit being goals, can you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: be here now Janis: I'm done waiting Jimmy: Hang on, I'll throw the driver off Jimmy: only a few stops Janis: probably distracted with his 😍 Jimmy: if the kid weren't here everyone on this bus would be Janis: 💔 that Janis: actually Jimmy: has Cass shown up at ours yet? Jimmy: I told her to take him out Janis: yeah Janis: her mates here too they're raiding the cupboards Jimmy: that lad again? 🙄 Janis: alright, dad Janis: nice of you to pop in 😂 Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're so cute Jimmy: you're a dickhead Janis: don't get aggy with me Janis: I ain't got my mans over Jimmy: Mia be round any sec though, will she? Jimmy: make myself scarce for a bit then Janis: 🖕 Janis: so funny, you Jimmy: save that for her Jimmy: 💕 Janis: the fakery? Janis: sure Janis: I'm a pro now Jimmy: that and the hand gestures Janis: easy now Janis: not tossing her off Janis: and it's a different gesture, anyway Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: trying to tell me I've been doing it wrong, are you? Jimmy: first I've heard Jimmy: and very subtle of you, mate Janis: 😂 Janis: you know Janis: been thinking how to bring it up and now seemed like the perfect opportunity tbh Jimmy: you'll have a perfect opportunity to show me how I can do better in a bit Janis: it's a date, loser Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [showing up cos why not do a lil skip lol] Janis: just chilling in the kitchen with cass and her mate like hey] Jimmy: [100% her mate is the Tyler kid in my head lol but yeah don't be rude and kick them out immediately, do pass the sweets Janis got round tho shameless bribe which reminds me her gift was a lollipop he swiped from the hairdresser for well behaved kids cos drunken throwback they don't remember but we do so he can give her that too like] Jimmy: [Bobby showing everyone his hair and loving life P.S] Janis: [love that, being shamelessly buzzing 'cos about those nerdy gestures forever and you get to be #seductive on the low] Janis: [get it bab, you look fresh] Jimmy: [could not resist and never will bye] Jimmy: [that little kiddo being less shy fuck me up] Janis: [get your confidence live your life bb] Jimmy: [making everyone a cuppa even though you want them to fuck off #northern] Janis: [when you're rood (but not really) so you're like we've got to get ready bye] Jimmy: [only so much eye fucking and accidental touching and seduction via lolly you can handle before you g2g] Janis: [truly, in that shower boys] Jimmy: [casually really long shower soz not soz Ian] Janis: enjoy that waterbill] Jimmy: [then actually get dressed and get drinking but it's obvs still flirty af] Janis: [the vibe, 'cos don't need to dwell on what a non mood this party is] Jimmy: [literally he'd be distracting her so hard, so many kisses it'd be a miracle that anything else gets done, lowkey helping each other dress just so you can keep touching and being soft] Janis: ['you look good' 'cos he did despite the dresscode] Jimmy: [does a drinks cheers because thanks and also she does too we know it] Janis: [cheersing with glee 'cos a few drinks in and being with the bae you don't feel completely like kms] Janis: ['not as good as Bobby but you know, you'll do'] Jimmy: [runs his hands through his hair dramatically cos got a lil trim but nothing worth mentioning and doing a pouty face for the pisstake 'take him then, I'll stay here'] Janis: [hugging him tight like no] Jimmy: [hugging her back as tight just because and hands in her hair likewise and more kisses just because] Janis: ['I promise I'll make it fun' 'cos sorry to be dragging him into this mess but gotta lol] Jimmy: ['If I'm with you, I'm having a good one' cos true even in this instance ultimately] Janis: [literal sincere hearteyes] Jimmy: [give them right back so its a moment] Janis: [just snuggling like 'let's run away okay'] Jimmy: ['alright, we're decently dressed for life on the run' but being soft with your touches cos you want to as well] Janis: [sniffs, 'yeah, new identity ready, like'] Jimmy: ['forgot your former name already, me'] Janis: [lols 'be more believable if you hadn't been saying it so much in the shower, boy' 😏] Jimmy: ['soz, I thought you only wanted me mute at the party, like' 😏 Janis: [makes face like no and a 'n'awh' sound 'I don't want you like that, you just ain't gonna have nothing to say to 'em, me either, like'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna say nowt to 'em, just you' no offense fam but that's the tea] Janis: [nods 'cos same and not like she's that bitch to say you must lmao] Jimmy: [tops both their drinks up because that speaks for itself] Janis: [drinking and snuggling] Jimmy: [enjoy the alone time while you can kids] Janis: [just telling him about the 'decent' (bit rude) kids that'll be there for bobby to play with] Jimmy: [he'll be having a lovely time at least] Janis: [and at least as bouj as they are it's not like they're most fancy house 'cos he's still in school so can't be living fully lavish] Jimmy: [makes me lol god bless those extra bitches] Jimmy: [let's say he puts music on for them cos kids could be back any time and wanna stay in their own bubble as long as they can] Janis: [throwback to all those times, appreciated] Jimmy: [casual playlist of all those van hook ups lol] Janis: [if anything is gonna get you in the mood tbh] Jimmy: [enjoy it kids] Janis: [in your new bed bowchicka] Jimmy: [that for once isn't full of a pup and a kid so it still feels as small as a single usually #rude] Janis: [hope you've not put your fancy clothes on yet lol] Jimmy: [dressed and undressed haha priorities] Jimmy: [Jimmy'd be like me and not put them on til the last min in case they get messed up] Janis: [sensible, better than turning up all awry like what you been up to 😏] Jimmy: [they don't need the pisstaking today fam they're trying to stay in a good mood] Janis: [just like 'fucking obvs wbu'] Jimmy: [don't ask if you don't wanna know tbh] Janis: [truly, how long are we giving you lads before Ian's back being a hoe] Jimmy: [give 'em long enough to enjoy that new bed and be a few more drinks in but yeah he should probably appear soon to give him the most time to be a knob before they get be like oh bye Ian lowkey maybe they think it's the kids coming back so they're like alright cool they're earlier than we expected so loads of time to get Bobs ready but then no, it's that fool Janis: [when you're lowkey like should I stay in here 'til we're ready to go 'cos Ian hates you lol] Jimmy: [she should if only so they can type to each other for a bit] Jimmy: 🙄💀💀💀🙄 Janis: real life and soul has arrived Jimmy: can you hear us celebrating down here? Jimmy: 🎉 keep it down, knobhead 🍾 Janis: been to plenty parties like that Janis: but Ian, the vibe is 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Janis: get with it Jimmy: 🍀 standard fare that, be why he fits right in on this street Jimmy: you don't wanna take him in my place then? Jimmy: 💀👑 gonna be thrilled to still be 🥇 like Janis: they should date Janis: start an anti-fan club for me Janis: cute 💕 Jimmy: stop trying to make me vom Jimmy: so kinky you Janis: tryna save you, babe Janis: sure she's dead distracting Janis: soz sue or whoever it is rn Jimmy: I'll take her over Mia as my new mum tah Janis: she will find her in Janis: stop fighting it, boy Jimmy: Take your own advice before you hand it out to me, mate Janis: 🤐 shh Jimmy: 💕 Janis: she's coming for his 👑 in the dickhead stakes though so maybe it won't work Janis: too much competition 💪👎 Jimmy: what like there can only be 1? 🍀 town's full of twats Janis: ask her, she'd tell you Janis: don't share the throne, babes Jimmy: hang on, I'll slide in her DMs for a change Jimmy: shock might 🔪🔪💀👻 Janis: 🤞 Janis: needs distracting from her story rampage Jimmy: ? Janis: ugh, usual Janis: now her and gracie aren't bffs forever she don't have to hold back with slaggin on her and spilling all that tea, sis Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Jimmy: rather have this twat in my 👂 than eyes on that bollocks Jimmy: tah Ian Janis: tell him it's his turn to say something nice now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🔊 I'm waiting Jimmy: take your turn, he's skipping his Janis: About Ian? Janis: Hmm Janis: he makes cute kids Janis: I guess Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: come and get the little one, he needs to get ready not hear this shit Janis: 👍 Janis: [does and gives him a subtle shoulder squeeze as she goes] Jimmy: [runs away as soon as he can cos you know Cass is good for making Ian kick off/taking his full attention so they could just get Bobby ready and be cute though you can tell Jimothy is forlorn]] Janis: [not saying anything but keeping Bobby chatting and hyped about this party and showing him pics of relevant kids so he won't be as shy to meet them] Jimmy: [just 😍 cos that's so nice and so cute and he is full of love] Janis: [just smiling at him and doing lots of subtle small reassuring touches] Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you Janis: fuck the rest, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: [gives him a sneaky kiss 'cos kids be like ewwww lol] Jimmy: let's just go Jimmy: if not to the party yet just Janis: 'course, all dressed up like Janis: kid needs an audience rn 😎 Jimmy: bit rude if our kid's just taken 1000s of pics of you on that old camera I let him have Jimmy: my muse not his Janis: there's enough inspo to go around baby Jimmy: weren't a challenge but take it as one any time you like, girl Janis: [posing for Bobby and pulling all kinds of faces whilst getting one of his jackets on like let's ride] Janis: what challenge Jimmy: [counts how many poses/faces she's doing casually] Jimmy: you owe me a photoshoot later Jimmy: see what you reckon then Janis: see what you reckon when I hit you with my hourly rate Janis: owes me so many sweets, that one Jimmy: Nah, rich girl, I work and you pay Jimmy: your words them Jimmy: [we on the move though fuck you Ian and good luck being stuck with that Cass] Janis: [seriously that'll be fun for you both lowkey] Janis: you think I'm gonna pay for the pleasure? Jimmy: as long as you feel it I don't give a fuck if you don't get the cash out Jimmy: but we can keep that between us Jimmy: #golddigger if anyone asks obvs Janis: 'course Janis: why else would you be with me Janis: just keep that off the 'gram, naturally Janis: [walking and talking with Bobs, obvs, sneaky convos ftw] Jimmy: I'll put the list on the 'gram in a bit Jimmy: let you know, like Janis: how very goals of you Janis: even if you're gonna have to ignore me to write it, like 😏 Jimmy: fuck that, it basically writes itself Jimmy: [a look cos so in love bitch] Janis: you look good Janis: did I tell you Jimmy: might've done Jimmy: I need to tell you Jimmy: come here Janis: [moves closer like hello] Jimmy: [whispering all these compliments and generally hot af things in her ear like] Janis: [when you nudge him like excuse me but it's just an excuse to snuggle into his side, we see you] Jimmy: [soz baby bobs but we gotta do another sneaky kiss here that may or may not be that sneaky soz again] Janis: [he'd be less grossed than cass and we all know it] Jimmy: [yeah and he's probs using his camera on himself/the scenery as they walk along anyways so] Janis: ['how's it feel having a mini-me?'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos used to it 'better than it'd feel Ian having one' cos that's the tea] Janis: [nods like ain't that the truth] Jimmy: [when you openly snuggle into her side without any excuse cos ugh he's the worst and you know he's been saying shit as standard] Janis: [taking your hand out of the pocket to hold his 'another pro of Mia, she's definitely infertile, no more Ians ever'] Jimmy: [little lol because you can't even help it] Jimmy: ['imagine the school lunch she'd pack, tah mum'] Janis: ['those appetite-suppressing lollipops are well kid-friendly'] Jimmy: ['do need this kid off my hands to have a smoke though so if you could give her a bell now that'd be decent'] Janis: ['um, cigarettes are the OG appetite-supressors, HELLO!' taps his head like think on but gestures like, you want me to go ahead with him or] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him and holds onto her dramatically because no #bantsbutalsotherealest] Janis: [doing that half walk half dance you have to do when you're holding onto each other and still moving for a while 'cos not going] Jimmy: [giving her the realest intense don't leave me look before you can stop yourself because the neediest softest boy ever bye] Janis: [just looking back not faltering 'I ain't gonna leave you alone with 'em, if only for the purely selfish reason I don't wanna be alone with 'em either'] Jimmy: [a hug moment that he really needs and is made cuter by Bobby joining in cos they a lil fam] Janis: [love a group hug moment, live your best life, ain't no one stop you, especially not Ian bye] Jimmy: [shakes his head at himself like get your shit together now boy] Janis: [puts Bobby's shades down for him 'cos cool kid and mimics the same at him like you got this babe] Jimmy: [a wonderful hand squeeze of thanks and hand holding the rest of the way] Janis: [squad roll up honey] Jimmy: [let's do this lads, take a deep breath before the pink hits you but] Janis: [literal deep breath as if you're not gonna do your best to do the bare minimum of socializing before finding a cosy corner] Jimmy: [god bless, can't even shade you two cos its gonna be so awks, I can so clearly hear and see Venus' dad's extraness like] Janis: [as much as she's 😒 at least he's met cali enough for that to not be unbearable just keep rio away lowkey lol] Jimmy: [we all know they are gonna take a smoke break the first chance they get full offense everybody but could be worse cos grace is lowkey tipsy af already so] Janis: [just exchanging a look but not a sexy look with him like okay and we were pre-drinking] Jimmy: #whitegirlwasted Jimmy: you might've taught me that but she's reminding me Janis: 😂 Janis: she's an education in all things white alright Jimmy: 👌👌 Jimmy: [okay but Jimmy chatting to Indie cos she's brought Astrid and he's got Bobs and remember when he was like 10/10 would bang lol] Janis: [just off securing that bitch vodka] Jimmy: [take it girl you're gonna want it] Janis: [talking to Rio (and Buster and Venus' dad etc) without him 'cos you wanna keep her away 'cos embarrassing] Jimmy: [he's just settling Bobs in but he's got loads of kids and hippie brother so he's buzzing unlike most of these guests] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: all good? Jimmy: you alright? Janis: you know Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: that's about the gist of it, yeah Jimmy: what are you drinking, girl? Janis: that's a poor excuse for chat, boy Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: do you want one or what? Janis: obviously Jimmy: 🏃 me Jimmy: hang on Janis: you offered Jimmy: [brings her that beverage and knocks their glasses together] Janis: ['careful, wouldn't wanna spill anything'] Jimmy: [gives her a look because she wanted to spill their blood on the marble not that long ago lol] Janis: [shrugs like what] Jimmy: [shrugs back like what cos always] Janis: [🙄 and dranking] Jimmy: [we all drinking] Janis: this is so ugly Jimmy: it's 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Jimmy: get it right babes Janis: my point still stands Jimmy: smack me, I'll get a clashing colour nosebleed and we'll have to leave Janis: alright, sounds fun Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: you wish Jimmy: when I blow out the kid's candles in a bit you'll have to do it 👸 Janis: [does mini lol] Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: [starts heading out in response] Jimmy: [following the bae] Janis: ['we shoulda got another pack' as she's tapping two out, like no time for sharing] Jimmy: [gives her a playful look like literally you had one job 'I'll go in a bit' but obvs he means on the way back he's not just gonna leave her lol] Janis: ['I'm an optimist, I didn't think it'd be this bad, sue me' 😏] Jimmy: [little lol 'why we're such a good match, duh'] Janis: ['for now, anyway'] Jimmy: [💔 with his hands] Janis: ['believable'] Janis: [does 👎] Jimmy: [does OTT sad face and fake crying like is that better?] Janis: ['if you want sympathy you gotta aim it at your new, not your old' taps her head, like Jimmy: [👍 IRL like tah for that] Janis: ['in you go' shoos 'cos so polite] Jimmy: [playfight moment cos oi] Janis: ['stop it' but a LOOk obvs] Jimmy: [a look back like make me cos distract yourselves with being flirty af kids] Janis: [shakes her head 'I'm busy' takes pause to inhale to prove point then exhales 'ask your friend instead'] Jimmy: ['which one, got so many friends, me'] Janis: [just makes face like you know] Jimmy: [makes a face back like no I don't] Janis: [rolls her eyes but not agressively so add the smirky face, like, 'good job you're pretty, babe'] Jimmy: [bats his eyelashes at her in an OTT way and makes a kissy face, it's almost like Grace is in the room lol] Janis: [makes a vom face and pushes him away 'no, you're dumped, get out'] Jimmy: [hair flip and walk away but not far away thanks] Janis: ['technically, half of these are yours' and shakes the cigs at him] Jimmy: ['not til you say yeah to tying the knot, babe, today the day?'] Janis: ['obviously, this-' gestures around '-is all I really want'] Jimmy: ['obviously'] Janis: [shakes head and sighs, 'least bobby's having fun, like'] Jimmy: [nods because that's the best he could expect as an outcome tbh] Janis: [kicks at his shins but softly not actual 'cheer up'] Jimmy: [is all like oi cos fancy clothes but not actually mad obvs 'alright, challenge accepted'] Janis: [looks at him expectantly] Jimmy: [hits her with a 'what?' as standard] Janis: ['come here, idiot'] Jimmy: [does of course] Janis: [sneaky garden makeouts forever] Jimmy: [take what you can get kids, probably gonna have to go back in before too long] Janis: [Astrid probably having a meltdown so you gotta go in to check on the kid you brought lol] Jimmy: [Indie just gotta leave with her so the numbers are dwindling #awks] Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔💔🎻🎻 Janis: really should've scaled this back, all things considered Jimmy: but the 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Jimmy: actually would be 💔 Jimmy: it's a 3 💎 event, girl Janis: for who Jimmy: everyone #obvs Janis: I repeat Janis: who Jimmy: your horse would be feeling it if you'd brought her along 👸👑🐴💕 Janis: can't bring a horse for a date Janis: not that kind of horse girl Jimmy: 😂 Janis: gutting, I know Janis: not even afer the honeymoon Jimmy: might be a challenge too far competing with 🐴🍆like, 💪🏆 as I am Jimmy: so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: no amount of 🍀 gonna help you Janis: 🤷 soz Jimmy: 💕 meant to help me, Juliet Jimmy: choose me 😍💘 Janis: you've always said how much I love horses so Janis: how could I Jimmy: 😭😭💔💀💀💀 Jimmy: on you go then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: Missed a perfect opportunity to go with fuck you and the horse you rode in on Janis: which is why I already dumped you so Jimmy: missed a perfect opportunity to leave with Indie an' all but I've still got the orchestra to see me out Janis: 🎺 'cos you're not funny Jimmy: bit rude Janis: have we met Jimmy: dunno, my mrs does have a very different #aesthetic Janis: lucky her Jimmy: she's going out with me, she's well lucky #duh Janis: mhmm Janis: I'm gonna politely smile 'til you go away now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can I trust you not to spike my drink, creeper Janis: too many of my family members are congregating and I can't Jimmy: no need, give it a bit and you'll do the work of being gone yourself, lightweight Janis: fuck off Janis: how you gonna say that when she's stood right there Janis: barely Jimmy: you want me to start comparing you and her? Jimmy: not that thick or ready to 💀💀💀 tah Janis: Changed your tune Jimmy: so fickle me Janis: clearly Jimmy: keeping up with you, I reckon Jimmy: am I dumped or your #goals boyfriend bringing you drinks and whatever else your heart desires? Janis: you wanted the gig Janis: tux sadly not included Jimmy: [obvs brings her drinks tho cos needs them himself anyway] Janis: ['cheers'] Jimmy: sláinte pisshead 💕 Janis: be nice Jimmy: you Janis: I am Janis: so nice Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: where? Janis: [😒] Jimmy: go on, get your #receipts out Janis: why are you being a dick for Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: [😒 and an actual pout not the emoji kind] Jimmy: [gotta kiss that pout soz fam] Janis: [not soz, claim this corner lads] Jimmy: [being really nice to her rn like come back to meeeeeeeee and be my friend again] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Grace being a salty single from afar] Janis: [when you're so over this whole mood you ain't even arsed about the attention your PDA will get either way] Jimmy: [likewise only care about the bae and making this more bearable for her so soz but not soz at all actually] Janis: ['sorry' when you take a sec 'cos actual] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and not just saying it] Janis: ['it's stupid but' shrugs 'cos what can you do 'soon as they cut the cake, I swear'] Jimmy: [just snuggling her cos he'll be here as long as it takes and so much love] Janis: [just forgetting your rep and being soft for a sec] Jimmy: [#ultimategoals 5eva nobody else exists bye] Janis: ['I actually fucking love you, you know'] Jimmy: [when you're kissing her but you can't stop smiling the whole time because always gonna get you when she says that] Janis: ['I mean it' not like she doesn't think he believes her but 'cos she do and that's crazy if you ever stop and think about it which they clearly don't #nochill] Jimmy: [giving her the most intense heart eyes cos he knows and it's so mutual] Janis: [just snuggling] Jimmy: [let them have all the moments I am unrepentant af] Jimmy: [just whispering all the nice things to her like how much he loves her and how important all of this is to him etc because he could be saying anything fam its not for you] Janis: [when your face probably looks like you're #scandalized but really it's 'cos it's not saucy and that gets you harder] Jimmy: [if you didn't wanna leave before you really do now so you can just be properly alone gdi] Janis: [gonna have someone cockblock, probably one of your parents trying to talk to you like now lads okay lol] Jimmy: [rude but real] Jimmy: do you wanna just fuck off for a bit after this? Jimmy: catch a train or a lift like Janis: yes Janis: always, like Jimmy: nobody'll be at the caravan if they've all had to come here Jimmy: don't have to be there though Janis: a good base if nothing else Janis: but we can go anywhere Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: have to drop the kid back first, change out of this shit Jimmy: can grab the dog if you're both gonna be 💔💔 Janis: can't you bring the braces 😏 Janis: hmm, maybe Janis: the less responsibilities we leave for Cass/Ian, the less arsed everyone will be Jimmy: depends, are you taking the piss or what? Jimmy: and yeah but that don't mean I'm taking the kids meaning he'll still need me to leave classic FM blasting for him Janis: Would I do a thing like that Janis: you know you still look fit Janis: 🎻 obvs Janis: don't want him to enjoy himself ever Janis: just not ban me and 💀you Jimmy: stop looking at me like that or you'll 💀 me Janis: I can't help it Janis: not my fault everything else in here is offensively 🎀🌺🌸💎💎💋 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: love you too Jimmy: and how impressively you backhand them compliments Janis: gotta keep you grounded, babe Jimmy: then, as I said, stop looking at me like that, babe Jimmy: #groundednotintheground Janis: you're so Janis: make everyone go away Jimmy: how many bathrooms does this place have? Jimmy: let's hide in one for a bit Janis: more than one Janis: and there ain't enough guests here that they need to be queuing Janis: come interrupt so I can show you Jimmy: [does and can because has never been here before so legit wouldn't know where to go] Janis: [off you run children] Jimmy: [someone'll come find you if they need you for birthday things and you aren't back so take all the moments] Janis: [also none of you are stupid you know what's happening so leave 'em for a hot sec tbh] Jimmy: [mhmm all of y'all have pull these same tricks at some point and we know it] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [do we want skerries again or somewhere different?] Janis: [should go somewhere different why not] Jimmy: [yeah I'm thinking get the train/hitchhike until they are fed up and then just get out cos destination ain't the important bit] Janis: [a mood] Jimmy: [feels real even they come back tomorrow, being gone long isn't the point either really] Janis: [exactly, it's just about leaving]

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weareasong · 5 years ago

Text

...

Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings

But I'm only going to get this one chance (Six minutes, six minutes)

Something's wrong, I can feel it (Six minutes)

Just a feeling I've got (Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)

Like something's about to happen, but I don't know what

If that means what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble

And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances

You are just what the doc ordered

I'm beginnin' to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now, who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?

They said I rap like a robot, so call me rap-bot

But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes

I got a laptop in my back pocket

My pen'll go off when I half-cock it

Got a fat knot from that rap profit

Made a livin' and a killin' off it

Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office

With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his, nutsack

I'm an MC still as honest

But as rude and as indecent as all hell

Syllables, skill-a-holic (Kill 'em all with)

This flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop

You don't really wanna get into a pissin' match

With this rappity brat, packin' a MAC in the back of the Ac'

Backpack rap crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack

And at the exact same time

I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing that

I'll still be able to break a motha-fuckin' table

Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half

Only realized it was ironic

I was signed to Aftermath after the fact

How could I not blow?

All I do is drop F-bombs

Feel my wrath of attack

Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a maxi pad

It's actually disastrously bad for the wack

While I'm masterfully constructing this master piece as

Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now, who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?

Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard

Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like I have got

Well, to be truthful the blueprint's

Simply rage and youthful exuberance

Everybody loves to root for a nuisance

Hit the Earth like an asteroid

Did nothing but shoot for the moon since (Pew)

MC's get taken to school with this music

Cause I use it as a vehicle to "bus the rhyme"

Now I lead a new school full of students

Me? I'm a product of Rakim, Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac

N.W.A, Cube, hey, Doc, Ren, Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim

Inspired enough to one day grow up

Blow up and be in a position

To meet Run-D.M.C

Induct them into the mothafuckin' Rock 'n

Roll Hall of Fame

Even though I'll walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames

Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in is the alcohol of fame

On the wall of (Shame)

You fags think it's all a game, 'til I walk a flock of flames

Off a plank and tell me what in the fuck are you thinking?

Little gay-lookin boy

So gay I can barely say it with a 'straight' face, lookin' boy

You're witnessing a mass-occur

Like you're watching a church gathering take place, looking boy

Oy vey, that boy's gay, that's all they say, looking boy

You get a thumbs up, pat on the back

And a "way to go" from your label every day, looking boy

Hey, looking boy, what you say, looking boy

I get a "hell yeah" from Dre, looking boy

I'ma work for everything I have, never ask nobody for shit

Get outta my face, looking boy

Basically, boy, you're never gonna be capable of keeping up

With the same pace, looking boy

Cause I'm beginnin' to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

The way I'm racing around the track, call me NASCAR, NASCAR

Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God

Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton-no Asgard, Asgard

So you be Thor and I'll be Odin, you rodent, I'm omnipotent

Let off then I'm reloading immediately with these bombs I'm toting

And I should not be woken

I'm the walking dead

But I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating

But I got your mom deep throating

I'm out my Ramen Noodle

We have nothing in common, poodle

I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil

It's me my honesty's brutal

But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize what I do though

For good at least once in a while

So I wanna make sure somewhere

In this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle

Enough rhymes to

Maybe try to help get some people through tough times

But I gotta keep a few punchlines

Just in case cause even you unsigned

Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime

I know there was a time where once I, was king of the underground

But I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind

So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine

Appeal with the skin color of mine

You get too big and here they come trying to censor you like that one line

I said on "I'm Back" from the Mathers LP 1

When I tried to say: "I'll take seven kids from Columbine

Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine"

See if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was but I'm

Morphin' into an immortal

Coming through the portal

You're stuck in a time warp from 2004, though

And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for

You're pointless as Rapunzel with fuckin' cornrows

You write normal? Fuck being normal

And I just bought a new raygun from the future

Just to come and shoot ya, like when Fabolous made Ray J mad

'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Mayweather's pad

Singing to a man while they played piano

So Ray J went straight to the radio station

The very next day, "Hey Fab, I'ma kill you!"

Lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)

Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assuming I'm a human

What I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman

Innovative and I'm made of rubber

So that anything you say is ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you and

I'm devastating, more than ever demonstrating

How to give a mothafuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating

Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting

For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating

'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

I make elevating music, you make elevator music

"Oh, he's too mainstream"

Well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it

"It's not hip-hop, it's pop"

'Cause I found a hella way to fuse it

With rock, shock rap with Doc

Throw on "Lose Yourself" and make 'em lose it

"I don't know how to make songs like that

I don't know what words to use"

Let me know when it occurs to you

While I'm ripping any one of these verses that versus you

It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurting you

How many verses I gotta murder to

Prove that if you were half as nice

Your songs you could sacrifice virgins too?

Ugh, school flunky, pill junkie

But look at the accolades, these skills brung me

Full of myself, but still hungry

I bully myself cause I make me do what I put my mind to

When I'm a million leagues above you

Ill when I speak in tongues

But it's still tongue-in-cheek, fuck you

I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel

I'm asleep in the front seat

Bumping Heavy D and the Boyz

Still "Chunky but Funky"

But in my head there's something I can feel tugging and struggling

Angels fight with devils and here's what they want from me

They're asking me to eliminate some of the women hate

But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred I have

Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic

To the situation and understand the discrimination

But fuck it

Life's handing you lemons, make lemonade then

But if I can't batter the women

How the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?

Don't mistake him for Satan

It's a fatal mistake

If you think I need to be overseas and take a vacation

To trip abroad

And make her fall on her face and don't be a retard

Be a king? Think not

Why be a king when you can be a God?

(end)

#music #soundcloud #lyrics #eminem #rap god

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