#Can't say I've recovered

[asthy]

Returning after a fairly short hiatus to drop an experimental piece. Anyway have an Achilles

[bsdtual]

This is actually the most sad thing they could've done, i'm in pain

[kjzx]

I absolutely have 0 desire to bring a child into this world for many reasons, including ones from many different axis, so I don't see it changing, but the anti natalist folks are fucking evil man lol. I haven't seen the worst of the world, so my optimism can be and probably is just naivety, but hating the idea of having kids and judging(!) other people for getting them because the world is irredeemably evil is such a "I have depression and this philosophical thing is relatable so it must be how the world works" take. Just looked up the tag on here and someone said that in this world, misery is guaranteed, and happiness is not, and like. Point me to a human that has never, not once in their life, has experienced joy.

[moongothic]

do you have favourite Crocodile face?

the one he makes at the end of chapter 540, vol. 55 is seared straight into my soul. he almost went }:3 and I cannot deal with it like a normal human being. I love his facial expressions, those sad eyebrows are *chef's kiss* 💚🐊

Ah yes, this one, right?

It's a hilarious expression and definitely an underrated one kjshdfjgkghf Like we've seen him smiling plenty of times before this, with that classic evil grin we all know and love, so something about this panel is so funny to me, like if it wasn't for the hollow look in his eyes he'd look almost mischievous here and I love that. He's up to no good and he knows it dsjkfhgshdfghkdjf

IDK if I have a favorite expression from Crocodile, typically my favorites are just the really meme'able, funny expressions and this man does not have any of those to offer (which is fine really), and really every panel he appears in during Impel Down + Marineford are fantastic, Oda kept us so well-fed

I think I'll give a shout-out to this panel though, because while I think this man was already irreversibly changing my brain chemistry (while I was falling down the Crocodad Rabbithole and re-reading Marineford obsessively), I think this is the panel that finally kind of broke me

Like I think it was this panel (from chapter 577) that finally made me go "wait, am I losing it or is Crocodile kinda handsome" lmfao

[suffercerebral]

me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

[aurosoulart]

finally got around to recording and subtitling my performance at the Augmented World Expo 😤 it's 6 minutes long, but worth the watch if you wanna understand more about what I do!

this was part of a competition centered around using XR technology (virtual reality, augmented reality, spatial computing - whatever you want to call it) to fight climate change.

we were the only ones competing in the category of Replace - and I gave this performance showing how Figmin XR, a software that can create free-to-download digital objects (aka 'digital twins'), could be used to massively reduce material waste in the future.

AR glasses and haptic feedback technologies are still in their infancy, and they're not YET at the stage where they can be as ubiquitous as smartphones - but as someone lucky enough to work with them every day, let me tell you:

this stuff is powerful. being able to to see, hear, and FEEL digital objects in 3D space changes the wiring of your brain. it's truly indescribable unless you've experienced it yourself, but everything feels real, like it's there with you, especially if it's something you've brought into existence with your own two hands. I share my virtual inventory with my friends - we play with confetti together, paint together, make things together - all in-person, the entire process feeling so natural that we forget all of it is just made out of light.

this is the entirety of what Figmin's mission is about - empowering people to re-learn the joy of playing (which so many of us don't have the time or money for anymore!), while also reducing material waste in the process.

once this new form of 3D computing finally becomes accessible to the public (and it will - it's too magical to be forgotten), we could see a huge cultural shift of innovation similar to what happened with the rise of the internet and personal computers in the first place.

and, like the original PC, it's only going to get better once it does reach people. I'm not going to say that every person out there will use XR for good (we all know how corporate greed goes by now), but that doesn't mean it's inherently bad or scary.

all technology is still just a tool, and we can still use it to connect with one another, to learn, to create... and, hopefully, to change the world for the better.

[sage-nebula]

I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).

Read my words very carefully.

In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.

However, in real life?

First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.

But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.

So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.

However.

The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.

Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.

I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.

So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:

You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.

You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.

Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.

Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.

Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.

When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.

Keep yourselves safe in 2024.

[niallandtommo]

.

[katyspersonal]

It is only first month of 2024, and I've already lost not one but two subjects of nightmares, paranoia and reoccurring emotional torture. I really wish there was another way to get rid of these besides having extremely painful conversations.. but at least these scars are closing, one by one

[turtlemagnum]

when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is

the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".

so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.

[tealeavesandthorns]

A little update

//I'm going to be incredibly honest right now. I need to take a short break from tumblr, I'm struggling at the moment, I'm burnt out and I need to recover properly.

I thought maybe I could just focus on Maria for a bit but I don't even know if that's going to work because I literally only have muse for threads with one person.

For the foreseeable I'm going to be on a break, and if I do reply it'll only be to select threads - probably for a specific ship.

Please dont take offense to this, please dont take it personally, this is not about anyone else, it's about me, about taking care of myself, about recovering and getting better.

If this makes you want to stop rping/unfollow/is a big problem for you. I wish you all the best but don't feel any ill will towards you.

Im having a really hard time at the moment and tumblr, at the moment is exacerbating things rather than helping them (as it used too).

[honeysuckledreams]

Also since I am being too personal and there is a slim chance one or two members from that old college friend group might see this, in bombshell news Ren and I are no longer friends, and Ren and Fed (now Fae) are divorced. Ren and I ended late December 2022, so it's been 1.5 years and I am finally, finally starting to feel better.

In my version, I couldn't emotionally support Ren through their divorce anymore, and I needed a break from talking about it literally 4x a week. They found out I talked to Fae about the divorce after I set that boundary with them (because that was the third time Fae ever asked for insight about the divorce, and it was still almost too much) and Ren ghosted me! My best friend of seven years ghosted me because I set a boundary and wasn't capable of emotionally supporting them anymore. We literally talked every single day for our whole friendship before that point.

After 2 months of occasionally reaching out to them and getting radio silence, I ended our friendship. The ending was mutual in the last conversation we had.

[bonefall]

I’d be REALLY wary of that idea. I know it’s not your intention but no matter how you slice it that creates a scenario where some cats are genetically superior and more civilised than others based on where they’re from, which I feel is bad even if they happen to be nice to kittypets. Really love your work but maybe consider how you’d handle that one !!

Yeah, that's exactly the reason why I tacked the big old "THIS IS NOT IN THE REWRITE" warning onto the front of it lmao.

It also creates a situation where the Clans have an actual, unfortunate REAL justification for cat eugenics, which would mix very, very badly even in situations where there is no Clan/Housecat conflict. Unless it was completely dominant and always passed on but... you see how it's already an uncomfortable idea I'd have to tack on a bunch of bandaids to.

Sometimes a thought remains just a thought exactly because you end up thinking through its implications, y'know?

[dredshirtroberts]

it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such

[vani-ash]

I'm still in shock if anyone was wondering

[sol1loqu1st]

:/