#Call to Arms

[walkingstackofbooks]

Just realised that when Jake chooses to remain on DS9 during the Dominion Occupation, that's probably got a hell of a lot to do with his experience during Nor The Battle To The Strong, right?

Even though I'm certain he must have been thoroughly told that running away wasn't his fault, how much did he think of staying on the station as his chance to show everyone that this time, he wasn't going to run away to safety when things got bad?

[provoiceactor1]

Okay, so normally I don’t show off videos that aren’t mine on here, but come on Dayshift community of tumblr, why do you leave pieces of art like this with no attention! Watch this right now everyone, let’s get this animator some attention!

[porterdavis]

Muskets at the ready

[alphamecha-mkii]

ISA Victory by Graham Gazzard

[stigmatam4rtyr]

Call to Arms (1888, oil on canvas) | Edmund Leighton

[mingot-studios]

ok real talk; we need to organize our own Jan 6th but unlike those mMAGA idiots we need to actually accomplish what they failed to do;

take over the Capitol until we get what we need

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Jake Sisko

By Ames

We’ve talked a bunch of times on A Star to Steer Her By about how Jake Sisko is the best. He’s one of the best child characters in the whole Star Trek franchise, in both writing and acting (second to maybe Mezoti and/or Rok-Tahk). His relationship with his father is depicted so beautifully in so many episodes, as we’ll surely discuss below. And that kid’s personal style bypasses Wesley Crusher’s in every single way.

So this week, we’re picking up a Jake Sisko holonovel to read as your SSHB hosts declare our favorite Jake-O moments and scrape up some bad moments to consider. Our definition of what a Worst Moment is – which was shaky at best to begin with – gets really stretched this week. So enjoy them all below, listen to our chatter this week on the podcast (jump over to 1:01:52), and prepare for Jake Sisko to make a deal for you to have great damn day.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

“A” is for Apple, “B” is for Best friend ever Jake is just a straight-up good kid. So good that we happily forgive everything on our bad list, and this early moment really established what a pure heart he has. When Rom pulls Nog out of Keiko’s school in “The Nagus” and Sisko is about to get all racist at the Ferengi for corrupting his son, we learn that Jake has been sneaking off to teach Nog to read, squashing all the jumped-to conclusions and being the example that everyone on the station needs right now.

Who wears the lobes in this relationship? Speaking of teaching things to Nog, when the two form the Noh-Jay Consortium in “Progress,” which is adorable enough on its own, Jake somehow schools Nog on the value of owning land when they start trading assets around. How a Ferengi doesn’t understand real estate is beyond me, but Jake knows a good deal when he sees one. Turns out Jake’s got the lobes!

My friend’s real sorry for what he did In our Nog coverage on the podcast, I mistakenly sullied Jake’s name, claiming he started a fight with the Skrrean kids in “Sanctuary.” Well I was dead wrong! Jake, the ever goody-two-shoes, actually tries to prevent the fight and then does one better by patching things up with Tumak in line for the replimat later. How I could think Jake would have a vicious bone in his body was my error.

I need to find what’s me While we gave Nog lots of props for pursuing his dream of being the first Ferengi to join Starfleet, Jake goes the opposite path, and we love him even more for it! You’d think with a father commanding a whole station, Jake would go the Starfleet route too, but in “Shadowplay,” he reveals he’d rather pursue something he’s more passionate about.

First let me get the hang of flying at impulse When the away team gets captured during “The Jem’Hadar,” Jake and Nog sneak aboard the runabout to escape. Despite not knowing how to pilot the thing, Jake is able to elude disaster and invaders long enough to be rescued. Add to that the fact that they were there to ensure Nog got a passing grade, and Jake comes out as the hero of this episode! (Sorry, Quark.)

If I go, you’ll be all alone Even though he wants to spend time with Leanne, Jake decides to accompany his father on the lightship in “Explorers.” This episode gives us some more of those patented lovely father-son moments of the two being honest and supportive of each other, as Jake expresses his interest in writing and also that he’s concerned about Ben coping without him if he went away to school.

Something called “Sliding into Second” An episode later in “Family Business,” Sisko relents to Jake’s insistence that he get a girlfriend by going on a date with Kasidy Yates based on his son’s matchmaking skills. And it turns out Kasidy is perfect for Ben! Now whether Ben is perfect for Kasidy is another matter altogether that we hinted at a little in our Ben Sisko post, but let’s just say Jake has solid taste.

To my father, who’s coming home I cannot overstate how beautiful “The Visitor” is, and at the center of it is Jake’s relationship with Ben, undoubtedly the strongest asset of all of Deep Space Nine. Jake’s love for his missing father is so strong and pure that he dedicates his life to getting him back from the white void. Is it what Ben would have wanted? Absolutely not. But is it perfect for Jake Sisko? Tremendously.

You may be a little rusty, but you’re still the Chief When O’Brien has gone through literal decades of torture after his brain adventure in “Hard Time,” who better than Jake Sisko to help reacclimate him to all his tools? Jake, who apprenticed briefly under the Chief earlier in the series, shows characteristic patience and empathy for the man who is clearly in need of much rehabilitation and therapy.

The line between courage and cowardice Cirroc Lofton gets his time to shine in “...Nor the Battle to the Strong,” providing an understandably terrified face to the front lines. Not only does he scrub up to help Julian and the other combat medics as injured soldiers start pouring in, AND thwart a Klingon siege by blasting out the ceiling, but he also reminds us that war is absolutely horrifying, in case we’ve forgotten.

You can always find something that’ll make you smile Yet another feel-good moment comes from Jake in the entire lovetrip that is “In the Cards.” While trying to cheer up his dad by getting him a baseball card, Jake and Nog find themselves running a series of fetch quests that add up to one thing: finding ways to make everyone have a nice day, even in the middle of the Dominion War. It was a breath of fresh air in a very serious season.

Let people read it and decide for themselves While Nog and the rest of Red Squad were entirely taken in by the opportunity to play war, Jake saw through Watters’s bullshit immediately in “Valiant.” He’s able to scrape Nog and Dorian Collins together and save them from destruction. And I’ve got to give him credit for endeavoring to write both sides of the story, without bias or condemnation, even if Watters deserves it.

—

Worst moments

Watch the wheel, not the girl Boy, that Jake Sisko has a type, and that type is older Bajorans. We first meet Mardah in the flesh in “The Abandoned,” and not only is she a Dabo Girl (whom we know have sex acts with Quark written into their contracts), but she’s also too old for him. I don’t know what age of consent laws are in the future, but when she’s 20 and he’s 16, it just feels on the wrong side of legal.

Stop calling her Nerys When things with Mardah don’t work out, Jake sets his sights on another Bajoran who’s definitely too old for him in “Fascination”: Major Kira. And sure, you could justify this one by saying that everyone on the station is affected by Lwaxana Troi’s Zanthi Fever, but out of all the uncomfortable pairings, it was this one that just felt kinda gross about it.

I guess I just forgot you’re a Ferengi While we blame Nog for his terrible behavior during their double date in “Life Support,” Jake isn’t innocent either. First, how he let Nog weasel in is just a goofy plot device to make the episode happen. But also, Jake shows naivete on his part for not understanding that this is perfectly normal for a Ferengi, and blaming his friend for his upbringing isn’t a good look.

So you’re Jennifer Sisko, but you’re just not my mom Okay, this one’s a little on Ben too for trusting mirror Jennifer to be alone with Jake, like a fool, but Jake’s whole attitude toward his mirror mom in “Shattered Mirror” plays right into her trap. He is so blindsided by her presence that he doesn’t think rationally, even if he’s heard the stories about how nefarious everyone is in the alternate universe. Jake, don’t trust this imposter!

I can spot a creative soul a galaxy away Jake’s weird thing for older women shows up again in “The Muse” when Onaya easily manipulates the poor boy. This is just an episode after “Shattered Mirror,” when his mirror mom took advantage of his trusting nature and eagerness to believe people have good intentions. And this soul-sucker preys on him so easily because he lets himself get taken in.

How much laundry is too much laundry? One last one that’s on both Nog’s and Jake’s list somewhere, since the two are so intertwined: While Nog has become a complete square in “The Ascent,” Jake has turned into a slob so comically disorganized that it stretches credulity. Nog is literally gone for several hours and when he’s returned, Jake’s laundry coats their quarters. How is that even possible?

These visions, they’re not worth dying for This is one of those instances that’s more bad for Jake than bad for us at home. When Ben is catatonic from prophet visions in “Rapture,” it’s Jake’s responsibility as next of kin to decide his fate. He chooses for his father to live, partly selfishly, even though it’s not what Ben would have wanted. But really, I say they should have put this decision on Joe and not a teenage boy.

Just remember, Bashir is spelled with an I Consistently, it’s a running joke on the show that Jake’s spelling is poor. It comes up a couple of times! Nog has to correct all his spelling in “The Ascent.” Sisko points it out when he reads Anslem in “The Muse.” And clearly he spelled Dr. Bashir’s name wrong in his article from “...Nor the Battle to the Strong” because Julian reminds him of the spelling in “Call to Arms.”

This is where I belong After all the Starfleet personnel have abandoned the station in “Call to Arms,” Jake opts to stay behind to do some journalism work, hoping that his status as the Emissary’s son will keep him safe because the Bajorans will revolt if some harm comes to him. So he effectively makes himself a hostage of the Dominion just for a writing gig. Weird flex, Jake-O.

What about freedom of the press? And then the stories Jake writes about the Dominion occupation don’t even go anywhere because Weyoun keeps intercepting them in “A Time to Stand”! Jake, my dude, you can’t go writing clearly biased stories and thinking they’ll make it to your audience. You think Weyoun’s going to let you interview him when he knows your angle? Oh you sweet summer child.

Anything for a story I’ll admit that Jake’s actions and uncharacteristic ability to see through bullshit in “Valiant” were commendable, but his reasons for being there in the first place were thin at best. He weasels into Nog’s trip to Ferenginar to try to get an exclusive interview with the Nagus. Presumptuous much, kid? This after promising to Nog that he wouldn’t be acting as a reporter on his mission.

Please, no more Vic Fontaine! When Nog returns to the station in “It’s Only a Paper Moon” after his leg replacement and clearly suffering from PTSD, the support he gets from friends, family, and professional therapists alike is laughable. Even Jake. It strikes me as out of character that Jake fails at being tolerant of Nog’s wishes during a painful time. Maybe get the guy some comically large headphones instead of kicking him out next time.

—

Send this one off to the presses because we’re done! We’ve still got some more Deep Space Nine characters to spotlight coming up, so keep following along for those. We also hope you’re watching Enterprise along with us over on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts. You can play some dot-jot with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and check your spelling before submitting because evidently there’s no Clippy on DS9!

[crynwr-drwg]

[wormfanzineproject]

Hello! Wake-up call to all the creators in our fandom - we want to make a Worm-verse fanzine!

More info in the links below! Yes, we asked about permission from Wildbow beforehand :)

Please fill out our Interest Check, so we will know how many of you want to support this project!

🕷 Link: forms.gle/USUFoBmC9upygHULA

🕷 Take a look at our site: wormfanzineproject.carrd.co/

[onenakedfarmer]

[absurdlakefront]

Thing I never thought I'd say , but now feel necessary:

This election is a call to arms! Arm yourself if you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

We must WORK TOGETHER and embrace our community to protect each other. Arm yourself with allies, with knowledge, with communication, with legalexpertise, and arm yourself with the Second Amendment. The Second Amendment is not just for straight white men.

The Christian nationalist and fascist thugs will be coming for our community. Make them think twice before entering our spaces, and make them regret it if they cause problems.

Organize and protect our brothers and sisters! Protect our allies and demand protection in turn. We can get through this together, but we cannot be passive or complacent and hope for the good will of people who have voted for a fascist.

[kingoftheblacksun]

As a love hearted trans femme union of Aphrodite and Ares, I want this meme to be real, though I'd dress like a proper Scion of War with black wings and a fire sword, dripping Hel from my hooves.

We have an incredible challenge. The patriarchy requires division, and while it started with benign intentions, feminism was warped to provide that division. Feminism is no longer about protecting women, it is about protecting the lies of the patriarchy.

They stand apart from 'men' and deny any accountability for the system they benefit from, and justify seizing social privilege by playing at victims of "men". It's obscene! I was a part of "feminist" movements for well over a decades, supporting women's film festivals and writing in feminist film media. They are only in it for themselves, and they DEFEND the system!

There's nothing more peak patriarchy than a feminist film festival.

I'm so upset. The queer have swallowed "everything masculine is evil!" and chant hate and seize at privilege. How can a movement be legitimate when it loathes half of the population and denies accountability for its own sin?

Let me explain how the poison rots. Ego consciousness is masculine, because consciousness provides FORM to our life experience. I am trans femme who's survived a deep mystic path and I learned something I didn't want to believe - males and females experience consciousness differently and our ignorance over it has metastasized until it was warped into supporting genocide.

Female bodies experience internalized consciousness. This means they have internalized masculinity. It is the same thing. Males experience externalized masculinity, thereby externalized consciousness. THINK ABOUT IT.

Feminism encourages loathing men to seed the self-loathing of women! It is intentional poison! The "inner masculine" is being taught to hate the "outer masculine" and thus itself. This is toxic, and it's been encouraged by a maleficent political entity that wants to win so badly it'll pit the two sexes into violent war with one another. It is a crime against humanity, it's been used to support genocide!

The opposite of consciousness is awareness, and this is feminine. Awareness is of love, and for females it is externalized, and for males it is internalized. It is on the opposite "side" from consciousness. Romance is dead from this ignorance. This is why the two sexes don't know how to talk to one another. This is why love is dead.

Feminism is not going to be kind to trans men, or any women who wish to take possession of their inner masculinity. Feminism requires the loathing of men, and the false belief that the two sexes are identical except for our crotches. This is not true, and I'm saying that as a transgender woman who transitioned full-hearted.

I will never be a "real" woman because I am internally feminine.

I need to work on my reactivity and I know it. I have a chainsaw tongue when I smell disdain. I really am Ares, even if I don't yet have power. But I am also Aphrodite, and I certainly possess love.

We're in serious danger and a red flag needs to be raised, so we may fight to unite. I *LOVE* females with internalized masculinity, I think you're astoundingly hot and I feel better anytime you're near. You're living batteries of consciousness, being in satellite with you feels so lovely for me. Yet the feminists won't let us have that because they hate everything male. It needs to stop.

If I can find females to triumph, a trans girl would become King. Yet I can't do it unless you see with Sovereign eyes the truth I am struggling to bring. Please reject the loathing of males and embrace the return of the masculine and feminine Solar Divine. Those who remain in division, ignoring all warning - it's not going to go well for them. I don't want to see it. I've cried so much from the visions.

The Sun of God is rising. Mercy and forgiveness are vast. We're going to experience a dark sacred union on the Universal level, and you're invited. You can be saved, again! You must only surrender, and then - love.

Forever. ❤️‍🔥

[soup-salts]

its me jigsaw you will die if you do not draw bowser with large breasts

[adornesibley]

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH: a Newsletter

Reading: Vaesen: Nordic Horror Roleplaying, The Future by Naomi Alderman

Finished Reading: The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

Podcast: Old Gods of Appalachia

Playing: Dark Souls: Prepare to Die Edition (PS3)

Making: DOOM levels and Zines

Writing: Project E

Word Count: 167578

TLDR: Looked at old work: liked it. Editing trenches: *cries in author.* Put trigger warnings on books, please. TTRPGs: I have a group now. Writing stories with others is sick as. TTRPG recommendations. Beetle Knight was funded fantastically. 

This month I decided to take a short three-day break from the editing mines to go crack open an older WIP that I last looked at about a year ago. I couldn’t stop laughing through the first three chapters and legitimately couldn’t remember what I’d written scene to scene. I got to feel the intrigue as a character picked up a shoebox beneath their bed, and got angry at myself for not telling me what was in it! What a gloriously strange experience it was. I likely won’t spend too much time on this WIP in the coming months, but it’s good to know that when I’m done with my current big novel’s rounds of edits, I’ve got a project that I’m massively excited for waiting in the wings.

Speaking of my current big novel. Let’s look at that word count. Seems pretty similar to last month. I have done SO MUCH EDITING. I’ve realized that right now, my biggest concern is making sure to correct errors, cull old plot points, and generally tighten up dialogue. I feel that I’ve been too focused on culling words and maybe the more important thing is making sure this book fucking SHINES. Besides, while I shop this novel around, I can be happily chugging along on my other WIP, so no wuckas.

I am part of a writer’s group which meets once a month. It is quite a large group with many people who flow in and out. It is a beautiful group and an invaluable fount of knowledge. Every second month we have a discussion topic. This month was talking about the ethics of being an author and how much responsibility we have to our readers in regard to the topics we write about. 

This led to talk of trigger warnings and the suggestion of books having them. (SPOILERS! I think they should have them) There were varying ideas on all sides of the spectrum, but there was one point made that has stuck in my head. Trigger warnings are just like nutrition labels. If you are allergic to nuts you need to know before you buy a product if it contains nuts, right? Trigger warnings are the same. You don’t want to be taking a big bite out of some delicious morsel and then suddenly you feel your throat closing up. Same same. You don’t want to put hours into a book, invest in the characters, only to suddenly have your exact trauma thrust into your eyeballs. You can’t unread it. If you have been honestly triggered before, you understand how it can be hard to stop that spin when it starts. And from an author's standpoint, you don’t want to turn off potential readers also. One scene that may seem insignificant to you, may be terrifying to another. Then they may never pick up your books again, for fear of said thing.  

Speaking of this delightful group, near the end of the meeting a friend was talking to a brand new member about TTRPGs and I just so happened to be carrying CY_BORG with me! We chatted a bit and I enthusiastically suggested I should and would run a one-shot for them, their partner, my friend, and another writing buddy of mine. SO I’VE FINALLY GOT SOME TTRPG FRIENDS TO PLAY WITH! WOO! I am thrilled about the idea of introducing these fine folks to all the strange and interesting TTRPG systems I’ve picked up over the last year.

TTRPGs are such an invaluable resource for storytelling. With a few dice, some rules, and a setting, you and a few friends can end up creating an entire world and a compelling narrative together, even if no one in the group is a writer! Now… if you are writers… well then, something truly incredible can happen. I think authors often think of the writing process as a solitary pastime. Traditionally, it may be, but I think we undersell how satisfying and freeing collaborative storytelling can be. Hell, plenty of fantasy writers started their careers (See Raymond E. Feist) dictating and polishing up their D&D campaigns that they ran with their friends!

And in the spirit of collaboration, I want to recommend some small projects that need your help! I’ll be personally backing these later this month when I’ve secured my own funds.

Budgeon: A digestible mini adventure zine with a VERY old-school feel. The art is all first person a la Combat Heroes, but can be played as a party or solo! It even encourages you to draw your own maps, very similar to how you might have played Stonekeep on DOS. (Big nostalgia for myself) As of posting this, this project needs additional support right now! Go give them some love. The basic zine is only FIVE USD. (And THREE USD for digital~!)

Thirty Horrors: A bestiary designed to be used with Mothership 1E. Let’s be real people, that means it could likely be converted for just about any system with minimal pain. The art is shaping up to be suitably uncomfortable and this project blew the hell up! They’ve reached heaps of stretch goals and it still has half a month to go~

SPEAKING OF BLOWING UP. Holy hell Beetle Knight did well! It ended up earning 22,898 USD out of the required 3,500. WHAT A SHOWING! I absolutely adore seeing small weird projects become more successful than anyone could have imagined. Certainly, it was more than the original creator expected as that final total completely blew past their final stretch goal.

Support weird. Support indie.

[weazolgamer]

Come hang out on Nov 10 for my charity stream! If you can’t make it that’s okay, the donate link is in the image incase you want to help out!

Thanks to @littlemxhoney for the graphics!

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Rom

By Ames

Among your A Star to Steer Her By hosts, Rom might be the most polarizing character from all of Star Trek. Some of us (and you all know when I’m talking about Chris) worship the ground this grand nagus walks on. And some of us (oh hello, I’m Ames) would rather throw him out an air lock. His rather offensive depiction as someone who seems to have low intelligence ends up contradicted by his otherworldly engineering skills. His actually very funny scenes get offset by how his whole character becomes a goofy punchline. His Ferengi values are deplorable and yet his character journey and love of his family are commendable. And that voice…

All that to say: this blogpost is going to be our biggest roller coaster ride yet.

So get ready to dig into a bowl of tube grubs and keep your tooth sharpener handy as we dig into the moments we adore about Quark’s lesser brother and the moments we detest about him. Read on below and listen to this week’s podcast episode (jump to 1:01:34) for all the Ferengi gossip. And don’t forget to call your moogie.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

You saved your brother’s life Let’s start off with the good stuff. In “Necessary Evil” when Trazko is pillow smothering Quark, Rom screams and screams for help, foiling the assassination plot and saving his brother’s life. And you know what, it’s actually a pretty funny button when Rom screams again when he realizes that, with Quark still alive, he won’t be inheriting the bar any time soon.

I would be proud to have a son in Starfleet Even I, a bonafide Rom hater, can admit that his relationship with his son is one of the best things about his character. We see him stand up to Quark (a rarity!) and support Nog’s desire to join Starfleet in “Heart of Stone” and we’ve got to give the guy credit for wanting Nog to pursue his dreams of becoming better than his father, low bar as that may seem.

The Ferengi not-so-Benevolent Association When the Nagus’s personality has gotten rewritten in “Prophet Motive,” he somehow ends up making Rom the senior administrator of his new Ferengi Benevolent Association. And you’ve got to give Rom credit for seeing a chance to scheme that even Quark didn’t notice, as he embezzles money from the foundation before Zek turns back to normal. He’s got the lobes!

Moogie’s got the lobes for business In addition to the lovely father-son relationship with Nog, Rom’s relationship with his moogie is also extremely sweet. He eventually supports her profit-making scheme in “Family Business” even though it’s illegal for females to make money, tricks Quark into coming to terms with Ishka, and by the end of the episode is in on the plan to hide some of her profits from Brunt, FCA!

My son’s happiness is more important to me than anything, even latinum It’s worth mentioning how supportive Rom is of Nog again because in “Facets” he foils Quark’s nefarious plan to sabotage his Starfleet Academy exam, even threatening to burn the bar to the ground because he places his son’s personal journey so highly. He also goes to Garak to have Nog’s cadet uniform made personally, which is just about the cutest moment in the show.

Our union, united, will never be divided Rom proves to be a champion of the laborer in “Bar Association” when he starts up a union for Quark’s bar to fight for better pay and working conditions. Again, it’s another practice that’s illegal under Ferengi law, but that doesn’t stop Rom (even when it gets Quark attacked), who rallies his band of waiters and Dabo girls together with confidence we’ve never seen before.

Number one dads! We don’t get a lot of scenes between Sisko and Rom, the two best dads of the station (sorry Miles, but neither of these proud papas left their child to die in the woods). When Jake and Nog are quarreling over their odd-couple habits in “The Ascent”, the two fathers concoct a scheme to get them to talk out their problems and be friends again by pretending there are no other quarters available.

Do I have a reason to stay? Maybe it’s because Lewis Zimmerman comes across as such a cretin, but it feels like a victory when Rom asks Leeta out at the end of “Dr. Bashir, I Presume?” and she decides to stay at the station instead of leaving to become Dr. Z’s sex object. Even though everyone already knew she’d say yes, it takes him the whole episode to muster the courage, but let’s take the win.

Self-replication. That’s the only answer. Rom’s contradictory character traits are nothing if not fascinating. Sure, he couldn’t find a cup of water if you dropped him in a lake, but he still comes up with the ingenious idea to have the cloaked minefield also be self-replicating to take on the Dominion in “Call to Arms.” Moments of sheer brilliance like this make Rom a character of simultaneous simplicity and complexity.

I walk through minefields Rom’s profound bravery is on display during season six when he works with the resistance to undermine the Dominion occupation. And it all caps off with “Sacrifice of Angels.” Rom may not have had time to prevent Damar from taking down the minefield, but he still sabotages their weapons array, giving the prophets the time they needed to save the day.

We’re not commandos, we’re negotiators What could have simply been a farcical play on The Seven Samurai or The Magnificent Seven gets a fresh take when Rom has a rare epiphany in “The Magnificent Ferengi”. The Ferengi don’t have the chops for fighting (except for Leck, whom we love), and Rom points out that they should treat the release of Moogie as a business deal, something more in their wheelhouse.

A kinder, gentler Nagus Rom’s entirely hyperbolized character arc concludes with him becoming Grand Nagus in “The Dogs of War.” Sure, it’s definitely entirely out of nepotism because his mother had put him there, and she’s also definitely going to be the one ostensibly in charge because she can pull his strings, but what a journey! And he’s so magnanimous about it that he even gives the bar back to Quark!

—

Worst moments

Not next to that human boy. I don’t want you to have anything to do with him. Onto the bad stuff! In “A Man Alone,” Rom doesn’t even have the caricatured voice yet, but does start the series with all the typical toxic Ferengi values. It takes a battle for him to agree to let Nog attend Keiko’s classroom, and even when he does, his anti-hooman racism shows when he won’t let Nog sit with Jake, just as Sisko didn’t want his son hanging out with that Ferengi trash either.

Now go to your room. And no studying. A few episodes later, Rom pulls Nog from Keiko’s school in “The Nagus” after getting criticized by Zek for allowing his son to learn from a hooman female. It’s one of Rom’s biggest faults (and Quark’s too): his preoccupation with displaying as a typical, profitable Ferengi even among people for whom their value system is hot garbage. Rom at least eventually overcomes it.

Rom’s. Nice name for a bar, don’t you think? Another case to make that point: Rom becomes the lackey of Zek’s son Krax and helps in the attempt to kill off Quark in “The Nagus.” It’s not until later that we see more brotherly love, one-sided though it may seem. But this early in the show, Rom is much more of a typical Ferengi, obsessed with amassing power, fame, and fortune above all else.

Ferengi, Romans, Countrymen: Lend me your ears We here at the podcast really rooted for Pel in “Rules of Acquisition,” a female who really has the lobes to break free of the government’s oppression of her gender. So when Rom outs her to Quark as a female (after a scene way too comically goofy of him literally looking through Pel’s socks to find incriminating evidence), we can’t help but start siding against him, the dirty rat.

You know, come to think of it, my ear’s bothering me too Like I did with the Quark post, I will call out all the uncomfortable uses of oo-mox whenever the show sinks to such a level. We see Rom trying to trick Faith Garland into giving him oo-mox in “Little Green Men” – while his son is actively getting it! – and I just find it so gross. For how much oo-mox is played up to be a sexual act in this show, this is sexual assault, plain and simple.

Too. Much. Oo-mox. And to make things grosser, we get even more oo-mox references a couple episodes later in “Bar Association” when we learn that Rom has given himself an ear infection from too much oo-mox. And it’s self-inflicted. So basically what we’ve learned from this scene is that Rom masturbates so much that he gives himself an infection, a detail I wish I never had to learn.

Even. More. Oo-mox. I’ve got one more oo-mox mention to get out of my system because I’m just so angry every time it comes up. Literally right after Rom has admitted to rubbing his ears raw to Leeta in “Bar Association” and she shows some sympathy for him, his response is to request oo-mox from her! They’re not even dating at this point! It’s disgusting. I hate it. Minus a hundred points.

The better to hear you with Speaking of Leeta, it’s exactly a season after this that Rom finally asks her out in “Dr. Bashir, I Presume?” (as we mentioned above!). But! This is a) after we learn that his first wife Prinadora swindled him on their wedding extension contract like a chump, and b) after we watch him literally tuning his ear to eavesdrop on Leeta and Zimmerman’s conversation. And somehow he still never gets the hint she’s into him. Like a chump!

If you liked it then you shoulda put a Bajoran earring on it I’m just gonna lump what a shitty partner Rom is to Leeta into one screed. In “Ferengi Love Songs,” he tries to make her sign a Waiver of Property and Profit just because Jadzia and Miles were teasing him about not being very Ferengi like. This after he started wearing a Bajoran-style earring, which strikes me as on the questionable side of cultural appropriation.

Later in “Call to Arms,” we see Rom trying to suggest Leeta’s wedding dress literally be a couple handkerchiefs and a loincloth (gross) and then once they’re married, he decides she’s leaving the station before the Dominion rolls in, without her getting a single say in her own life (more gross!). Why are all the men in this show so shit at relationships!?!?

You said the reward was twenty Shockingly, Rom’s incompetence hasn’t come up as much as I expected, but his ability to ruin things through miscommunication and shenanigans is on special display in “The Magnificent Ferengi.” He blurts out that Quark is cheating the other Ferengi out of reward money, riles up the rest of the team, and thus gets Keevan killed because he can’t keep big mouth shut.

Foul ball! I’m not alone in hating on the campy mess that is “Take Me out to the Holosuite” but Rom is so disruptively, dangerously bad at playing baseball that it warrants being on this list. How he makes it as far as he does in the tryouts only speaks to how terrible Sisko is at coaching. The guy breaks Quark’s damn head. That’s how bad he is. It goes past being funny to just being idiotic.

That’s why the lady is a scamp We have space for one more bad “Rom is a nincompoop” joke that doesn’t land. In “The Siege of AR-558,” we’re tortured with Rom’s deliberately atrocious cover of “The Lady Is A Tramp” just because Ira Behr really needed to shoehorn Vic Fontaine into as many of the final episodes as possible, and it shows because it’s just another lowbrow, asinine, bottom-feeding gag. Check that off the list.

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Well, that may have gone off the rails but whenever I have to sit through oo-mox jokes, I get testy. And sadly I already know there’s going to be more of that next week with our final Ferengi spotlight on Nog! So make sure you’re following along to catch that, join us as we continue our watchthrough of Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, engage in negotiations with us on Facebook and Twitter, and stop making oo-mox jokes!