#CR NPCs

[amplexadversary]

Something fucked-up just occurred to me.

Downfall, being a flashback, needed to have resolved in a way that lined up with the present. That means Ioun needed to be alive at the end of it, and Aeor needed to be swatted out of the sky.

I think that this tells the audience something about Asmodeus/Milo that no-one in-universe is privy to, barring the devil himself. His little scheme of trapping the Knowing Mistress in the crosshairs of the Factorum Malleus would have been written with a contingency to it, for both lore and character reasons.

Asmodeus wanted to test the Primes' commitment to their family, whether they'd *actually* save one of the Betrayers if they were threatened. He figured that the party would assume that anyone targeted by the FM would be a Betrayer, after Cassidia had told them about the safeguard against targeting the Primes. So he crammed Arcadia/Ioun into a talisman, took her place, and waited.

What actually happened in-game, where the the Archeart/SILAHA saved the targeted deity, gave Selena the opportunity to tragically seal the city's doom, forcing the Primes to ensure the destruction of the city. Asmodeus didn't have to do anything at that point.

From a straightforward point of view, this is the result Asmodeus would have wanted, though it's possible that he was hoping the Primes wouldn't have intervened so that he could further justify his resentment and hostility.

But if SILAHA had chosen to counterspell Selena instead? The FM would have targeted the deity in the talisman, and Asmodeus would have his "proof" that the Primes no longer cared for them.

This is probably not the outcome that Asmodeus truly wanted, but he may have been hoping for it, to validate his pain and justify inflicting more in return.

Since the Betrayers' entire stance is that the gods come before mortals every time, it's questionable whether Asmodeus would have intentionally endangered Ioun. Given both his motivation and the out-of-game need for the flashback to make sense, I think that Asmodeus was either relying on the safeguard to work, or had set up some contingency to release Arcadia before the FM fired.

Either way, had the party failed to "save" her, he could come in, lambast them over how little he now knows they care, and try to drive the Primes against each other to hurt them.

And, of course, ensure the destruction of Aeor, because fuck your beloved little mortals, traitors.

[interstellarwizard2019]

May I offer you some solemn warriors during these trying times?

[amelieofgreengables]

there was an old lady who lived in a frog

[numbfandom]

I want all the wacky old women of Campaign 3 to hang out together. Jirana, Morri, Abaddina, etc

[amplexadversary]

My brain read that as Aabria, aka Ioun for a second and I just completely accepted it, because that's probably how she would phrase it, yeah.

"If you die here, you don't die in real life, BUT IT WOULD BE REALLY FUCKING INCONVENIENT SO DON'T DO IT."- Arcadia, aka Ioun

[sky-scribbles]

I love the difference in Essek's attitude accompanying the M9 and his attitude escorting the Hells. With the M9, he was still so desperate to prove himself, and still treading so carefully. He was cool with them wandering fucking wherever (and when he did have misgivings, he voiced them quietly) and he let them put their hands all over everything, because he was there to support them. Whatever they wanted.

Who is he to tell them what they should and should not do? If Fjord wants to step into a weird time tube, Essek hasn't the right to say no.Jester and Cad want to fix a robot? That's their decision. Sure, let's chat to all of these corpses. Essek is behind them, he loves them, he will support almost any dumbfuckery because he is still on the thinnest of ice.

Then he gets handed the Hells and he is fucking RESPONSIBLE for these idiots' safety. They see him as an authority and he is their first line of defence against being eaten by a sex monster. If they do something stupid, he has to tell them right fucking now, and oh, gods, they are doing so many somethings stupid. He will get pissed off and snarky and speedrun the entire Praesidis Ward because they have THINGS TO DO. He is grabbing them by the toddler leashes and yanking them toward the fucking plot.

In short, I'm wondering how much desperate screaming on the inside Essek was tamping down when he was following the Nein.

[chaosgenasi]

I was wherever you go next.

[astrid-beck]

Something insanity inducing about jester and veth trying to comfort caleb after the vergessen heist by telling him that the people he killed were bad people, they were evil, they obviously deserved it, we're the good guys, he had to do it, he had to do it for the greater good, the chosen few made the hard choice and do what few have the will to do—

[amplexadversary]

It took me reading this for it to click that Nana Morri is low-key on some Manfred von Karma bullshit and I'm here for it.

(I'd argue this take gives her a little more credit for engineering these circumstances than I'd say is fair from what we know but the comparison delights me.)

Nana Morri queen shit for stealing and raising her infuriating neighbour's only daughter, sending her back on a field trip to fuck up his red moon plans, all while grooming her to eventually become the third in her Nana's coven. Revenge is your speciality? You don't say

[brittle-doughie]

I honestly want to know about the resident Faeries and their thoughts on Y/N. (And surprisingly, Shadow Milk Cookie turned them into clowns.)

With how Elder Faerie wants you to get acquainted with how the Silver Kingdom works, it’s only natural that he’d want you to get to know its residence. If Elder Faerie had given his day, the residents had no reason not to give you a good welcome, they’d want you to join them in gracing the almighty Silver along with them..

It wouldn’t be until Shadow Milk Cookie had arrived and allowed his influence to take them over that familiar behavior of cookies before them start to show. They’ll use any opportunity to drag you away from your friends, to join them in acts of tomfoolery and deceit, laughing mad all the while.

What are you waiting for, Y/N Cookie? The fun’s only begun! Your “friends” are completely downers! Why settle for them when you can have your very own family here in the Kingdom of Deceit!

JOIN US.

[darkfluffydragon]

Cookie Run AU Ideas #8: Timeless Kingdom

what if Pure Vanilla Cookie, instead of being amnesiac outside with Black Raisin, was instead trapped in the Vanilla Castle time loop? But because of the Light of Truth, he's aware of it? he's been stuck there for...hundreds of years, watching his people die over and over again nothing ever changes no matter what he does and then finally, Gingerbrave shows up. I mean, PV may be nice but there are only so many times he can hear the same monologue before he gets reaaaally sick of it gonna join GC on the hate train and he physically isn't able to do anything "out of script". Every time he tries, he sort of 'loses control of his body', since it's a memory time loop you can't just change a memory and since he's a part of it, it'll force him to go along with it. To play his role. Gingerbrave and his friends probably wouldn't even realise he's not a memory at first, that the Pure Vanilla is the real one.

And an extra I wrote for the AU >:3

Pure Vanilla Cookie awoke with a start, his eyes snapping open to the familiar sight of his bed’s golden canopy. His head throbbed, and his mind felt muddled, a fog of pain and confusion clouding his thoughts. He struggled to sit up, the effort sending sharp jolts of agony through his body. As he gathered his bearings, fragments of memories began to resurface—the battle against Dark Enchantress Cookie, the ruins of his castle, and the faces of his friends, Golden Cheese Cookie, Dark Cacao Cookie, Hollyberry Cookie, and White Lily Cookie.

They had arrived to aid him, late, their expressions grim and determined. By then, he had already spent hours running through the chaos, trying desperately to heal his people. But no matter how hard he tried, the cake monsters kept coming, relentless and unyielding. He remembered the wounds they all bore. The exhaustion that clung to their bones as they fought to protect their home, their kingdom. With his magic reserves depleted, there had been a point where he had started reaching into the depths of his being, drawing upon his very essence—his life powder and soul to fuel his spells.

He remembered the final confrontation against her, he had used Dark Moon Magic, a power he had sworn never to touch. ~~The magic most natural to him.~~ The last time he had seen it wielded, it had led to the academy's destruction. But there had been no other choice. He had cast the banishment spell, lifting himself into the air as Dark Enchantress Cookie tore their Souljams, their very souls, from them. The explosion had ripped through the kingdom, the pain blinding and all-consuming. And then, nothing.

Now, here he was, awake once more. Why? How? As these questions swirled in his mind, he felt a strange sensation, as if invisible strings were tugging at his limbs. Panic surged through him as he realised he was moving against his will, his body tracing the exact path of his memories. He tried to speak, to cry out, but no sound escaped his lips.

“No! Run! Dark Enchantress is coming! Evacuate the cookies!” he screamed, his voice hoarse with desperation. But the words seemed to dissipate into the air, unheard and unheeded. The cookies outside moved about their routines, oblivious to the impending doom. Children played in the streets, vendors hawking their wares, and guards patrolled, all blissfully unaware of the threat looming over them.

The nightmare would unfold before him with horrifying clarity. His friends—the heroes—were nowhere to be seen. Instead, dark silhouettes had taken their place, shadowy figures that seemed to mock his efforts. Was it because of the Souljams? Could this memory not replicate them because of the artefacts which housed their power? 

The endless battle raged around him, the air thick with the stench of smoke and the cries of the wounded. Cake monsters swarmed the castle, their grotesque forms looming over the terrified cookies. Pure Vanilla’s attempts to heal his people felt like trying to stop a flood with a sieve. Every spell he cast seemed to evaporate into nothingness, swallowed by the overwhelming darkness.

The invisible strings tightened around him. It constricted his movements, squeezing his mind. His autonomy slipped further away with each passing moment. The fog in his mind grew denser, suffocating his thoughts.

He felt every wound, every drop of jam that spilled, every life that was lost. He could see the faces of his people contorted in terror and agony, and hear their screams echoing in his mind. His friends fought, their forms blurred by exhaustion and jam. Yet no matter how hard they fought, the cake monsters kept coming, an endless tide of destruction.

The sky would fill with magic circles, blue eyes of the runes staring down at the target as he used magic that he swore to never use, for the second time. He would see her malevolent grin, and feel the agony of the explosion that followed. 

And then, he was back in his bed, the cycle beginning anew. The loops continued, over and over, each one more harrowing than the last. As time stretched into eternity, Pure Vanilla Cookie felt his thoughts growing quieter. Centuries seemed to pass, each loop eroding a bit more of his will. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, and soon, he feared, he would no longer be able to think. In the moments of silence, his mind would turn to White Lily Cookie, the one he had loved so deeply. She had become Dark Enchantress Cookie, the architect of his suffering and the destroyer of his kingdom. Yet, despite everything, he still loved her.

The pain of that love was like rose thorns digging into his heart, a constant, aching reminder of what once was. He had loved her so dearly, had kept her transformation a secret from their friends, hoping against hope that she could be redeemed. But now, as he watched his beloved kingdom and its innocent people crumble time and time again, the anguish was almost too much to bear.

To love White Lily Cookie was to love a rose. To love her was to let the rose crawl up him, letting its hurtful thorns dig into his fragile dough. His jam would paint the delicate petals red, and once gone, wounds and scars would be left to taunt him of his foolish desire.

She had been gifted a bouquet of hearts, yet the only one his moon had taken was his own. She dangled the prize in front of him like a carrot on a stick, and he ran the race despite being the only competitor. She blindfolded him of the fact, and let Pure Vanilla run himself ragged until he could give no more. Then, she left. Left with everything that was Pure Vanilla, left him empty and hurting. Trapped. Left in all her gentle and loving glory, as her beautiful soul was tainted and twisted into the monster that had taken her place.

He did not care for the traitorous thoughts wondering if he was feeling the wrong feelings and thinking the wrong thoughts. He could not care, for he loved her nonetheless. Loved her poisonous, uncompleted promises. Loved her for the nights of waiting by the academy garden, gazing up at the sky, at clouds that would never part to allow him a glimpse of her smile. Loved her for the incomplete dances she swore she would return for, leaving him alone and abandoned in an empty ballroom. He loved her unconditionally. And for this, White Lily Cookie had become his greatest torment.

Each encounter felt like a knife twisting deeper into his heart. The sight of Dark Enchantress Cookie, her once gentle eyes now filled with malice, was a reminder of everything he had lost. She had been his moon, his guiding light, and he had loved her with a purity that he had thought unbreakable. But the darkness that had taken her was relentless, and it had shattered her, and him, beyond repair.

The White Lily Cookie he loved was gone, replaced by the Dark Enchantress Cookie who revelled in his suffering. She was the creator of his endless torment, the reason his kingdom lay in ruins, and his people were lost

What a fool he was.

Pure Vanilla Cookie, awoke in a bed not his own. His limbs were not strung by strings that cut into his dough, and his thoughts were…loud. Clarity such as this was so incredibly rare.

He took in the room, noting how the other cookies, the ones who had…saved him, were still asleep. Quietly, he slipped out of the room, his steps soft and deliberate, as if any sound might shatter this fragile moment of peace. The hallway was dimly lit, shadows playing along the walls. He moved with purpose, though his heart was heavy with the familiar ache of his memories.

Reaching the garden, he paused for a moment at the entrance, breathing in the cool night air. The scent of flowers and earth was a reminder of simpler times. He walked towards the patch of lily flowers, their white petals glowing softly under the moonlight. 

Sitting down among the lilies, he stared up at the moon, its pale light casting a gentle glow over the garden. The tranquillity of the night wrapped around him, and for a brief moment, he felt the weight of his sorrow lift.

His thoughts turned, as they always did, to White Lily Cookie. The moon reminded him of her—bright, beautiful, yet distant and untouchable. He remembered their nights in the academy garden, the way she would laugh and talk about the future with such hope. Those memories were bittersweet now, coloured by the centuries of pain.

The garden was silent except for the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze. Pure Vanilla Cookie closed his eyes, letting the memories wash over him. He could almost hear her voice, see her smile. But then the image would shift, and he would see her as she was now—cold, dark, and filled with a malice that seemed impossible for someone who had once been so kind. He hated that he loved White Lily, a love that had once been pure and untainted. But he loathed Dark Enchantress to the point it hurt.

As the night wore on, Pure Vanilla sat alone. Though he could pretend that he was not, that there was another by his side. Perhaps…even four, all five of them together, underneath the starlit sky with the scent of campfire smoke in the air.  He did not know how long this clarity would last, how long before he would be pulled back into the muddy thoughts and fog. But for now, he rested in the peace of the garden, and the bittersweet memories of the one he loved.

Under the moonlight, surrounded by the lilies, he allowed himself to simply be. To remember, to grieve, and to love, even if it was only for a brief, stolen moment.

[amplexadversary]

Wow, someone wasn't paying attention during their ecology class.

Nonnative species don't tend to just sit and starve when there isn't anything from their home habitat around to eat. They start consuming local prey.

That's one hell of an assumption Ludinus is riding on to not get eaten himself.

[pleasantsaladnerd]

Nothing of note happened last episode nothing at all

**Vibrating Essek noises**

Anyway here is some art for no particular reason bonus Astrid again for no reason at all...

**Essek noises intensify**

[pocketgalaxies]

crazy how in c2 they'll have three extensive convos checking in with each other while traveling like an hour in-game meanwhile in c3 they've been on the moon for days and still haven't discussed the following:

laudna fucking ate a guy

imogen's mom is a mythical legend amongst the enemy

orym vs. laudna's response to imogen giving into predathos

how did chetney suddenly learn to make hypnotizing toys

delilah briarwood

"some of us are expendable, we should get captured"

anything and everything they said during the trust exercise, including but not limited to:

laudna not being able to distinguish her thoughts from delilah's

imogen's disgust at delilah's inevitable presence

chetney's fear that his new family will leave him

orym's feelings about dorian

fcg relieving stress through murder

fearne's insecurities about their chances of success

ashton's guilt about the shard

and more!

[utilitycaster]

okay I've been enjoying myself and not terribly salty, but I do have one thing to say which is that like...look. I still think that Liliana could go either way. I don't think she should be killed on sight, obviously. I also don't think she is guaranteed to not betray Imogen. But it's absolutely wild the degree of leniency she was consistently granted, well beyond that of basically any other parent except ones who were already dead before the narrative. People were harsher to Marion Lavorre, who was certainly flawed and had, through her own issues, caused problems for Jester, but notably hadn't like, recruited vulnerable children into a death cult. People were worse to the Gentleman, who definitely did his share of horrible crimes but his closest allies never tried to TPK the Mighty Nein. People are less sympathetic to Korrin, who literally was just a normal high-strung parent with high expectations for his daughter because he was thrust into leadership and his wife was presumed to have died on her Aramente and he wanted to ensure this wouldn't happen to his only child. People were worse to Birdie and Ollie, who we know were directly mind controlled. And suddenly when Liliana turns up she's the universe's greatest, if I may use a term from TVTropes, woobie, for skipping out on her family and leaving her daughter to fend for herself in Gelvaan with no warning and no guidance, sending Imogen unsettling and unhelpful dreams, failing to answer her questions even as she clearly gets entangled in what Liliana was trying unsuccessfully to protect her from, and becoming involved in an organization that tried and frequently succeeded in killing the people who initially helped her. You literally get people who are like "abolition of the nuclear family" everywhere else on their blog being like "um well you see, Imogen is trying to connect with her biological mother and that is sacred." Liliana is not beyond redemption - I think that could in fact be a very satisfying ending for her - but there is a very real possibility she will betray the party, there always has been, and the fact that she was granted automatic and unlimited benefit of the doubt from a swathe of the fandom has really cast her many flaws in a far more revealing light than had she been treated in a more measured and nuanced fashion.

[grayintogreen]

The best thing about Father Milo is you can tell that Brennan saw all the things he wanted to do with Raphaniel that got killed in infancy because of a VERY SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS early on in Ravening War that changed how he wanted to approach the character going forward and went “okay I know how I can avoid that EVER happening with that archetype again. I’ll just have the guy be Actually Satan.”